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Speaker 1: Good.

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Speaker 2: Five point fifty five am. I quite literally just woke up.

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Speaker 2: I'm probably gonna drift back a little bit more, but

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Speaker 2: I am ready for a new day.

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Speaker 1: Good boarding at six oh five am, still in bed,

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Speaker 1: clinging to my beetlejuice and my ft and y pillows.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So I'm just getting ready for my shift at the

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Speaker 1: Greenwood Cemetery in the crematory. I gotta be there in

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Speaker 1: about an hour and.

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Speaker 4: A half, so.

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Speaker 1: Not too groggy. It definitely had some of those dreams

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Speaker 1: where I thought I was already awake, because usually for

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Speaker 1: a shift, I'll be up at five thirty.

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Speaker 4: But we're gonna do it. This is finally a show

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Speaker 4: about a coordinator at a crematorium.

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Speaker 5: Gabrielle Gatto works at the Greenwood Cemetery in New York.

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Speaker 4: I'm Gabrielle R. Gado.

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Speaker 5: I'm the coordinator of public programs at the Greenwood Cemetery

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Speaker 5: in addition to a crematory worker on the weekends. And

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Speaker 5: I'm thirty years old. I just turned thirty, can you tell? Okay,

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Speaker 5: So when I first started working here, I just had

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Speaker 5: a handful of keys, and then slowly but surely working

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Speaker 5: between so many different departments and being entrusted with a

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Speaker 5: company van and needing to get into so many spaces.

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Speaker 5: I mean, listen, this is an actual skeleton key. I

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Speaker 5: got a gate key. I was hey, it was so fun.

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Speaker 5: I was just like, wow, they like really trust me.

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Speaker 5: They trust me with the key to the gates of

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Speaker 5: the cemetery and they're like, yeah, well, how else are

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Speaker 5: you supposed to get in to, like get in on

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Speaker 5: time for work?

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Speaker 4: And I was like, that's true.

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Speaker 5: I have been working at Greenwood Cemetery just a week

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Speaker 5: before in New York City lockdown, so I've been here

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Speaker 5: since March twenty twenty, coming up on four years now.

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Speaker 5: There was a position open here and I said, okay, cool,

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Speaker 5: I'll still be working in events. And then there were

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Speaker 5: an events because we were right at the height of

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Speaker 5: the pandemic. So I kind of scaled back, and I

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Speaker 5: realized working with the burial orders and cremation orders and

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Speaker 5: helping out in the crematory that I was doing something

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Speaker 5: really purposeful, and that's so many people. There's just a

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Speaker 5: lack of education surrounding death, dying, grief and loss. And

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Speaker 5: then to realize, oh my goodness, I'm in a space

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Speaker 5: where I can and you know, take some responsibility for

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Speaker 5: making sure I know the answers to some of those questions,

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Speaker 5: so I could really show up for people. And then

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Speaker 5: I looked back and I'm like, oh, Uncle, Vinnie, Aunt Julie, Grandma,

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Speaker 5: and Grandpa. I can look back and be like, oh,

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Speaker 5: my goodness, yes, of course, like these are people that

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Speaker 5: showed me, you know, what a good death was, or

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Speaker 5: what grief was, what loss looked and felt like on

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Speaker 5: a large scale, and that I'm like, oh, Doug Gabrielle,

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Speaker 5: like you took a class senior year of college called

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Speaker 5: Living with Dying Studies, But I mean I took the

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Speaker 5: glass because I was like, cool, I get to watch

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Speaker 5: all of six feet under and like it's a class.

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Speaker 5: I think there was a part of me that this

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Speaker 5: type of knack for the work is maybe intuitive or

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Speaker 5: just as natural to me. And that could go back

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Speaker 5: very easily to the fact fact that you know, my

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Speaker 5: first memory is being at a funeral, right, Like it

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Speaker 5: could simply just be hey, you know, this is such

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Speaker 5: a source memory that it kind of just makes sense

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Speaker 5: to me. So yeah, there's this part where I am like,

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Speaker 5: I want to read every single book about death, dying,

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Speaker 5: grief and loss.

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Speaker 4: Watch every single.

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Speaker 5: TV show, movie, work with every medium, talk to every

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Speaker 5: artist that's working in that space. But yeah, I think

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Speaker 5: there's a part of it that I'm like, I just

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Speaker 5: get it and I can meet you there. I can

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Speaker 5: hang out in that space. Oh, there's bogged on another

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Speaker 5: part of the Greenwood family. Hey Boged on Big family.

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Speaker 3: Busy.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so listen, I have a request. Can we get

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Speaker 4: an extra box of tissues? Okay? Great?

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Speaker 6: I'm like.

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Speaker 4: Here at the crematory at Greenwood.

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Speaker 5: It could be a slow day, but it also could

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Speaker 5: be a rapid fire, very quick day.

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Speaker 4: Lots of families coming in.

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Speaker 5: So on a typical Saturday like today, we've got funeral

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Speaker 5: directors coming to drop off to sdents, but also have

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Speaker 5: services with families. We have funeral directors coming in to

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Speaker 5: pick up cremated bodies to return to the loved ones.

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Speaker 5: But also we are an active cemetery and a National

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Speaker 5: Historic landmark, So people are coming through these gates, coming

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Speaker 5: through our offices not only asking where their loved one services,

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Speaker 5: but where's the bathroom, where's the trolley coming? You know,

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Speaker 5: where's my tour guide? So we definitely have to wear

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Speaker 5: many hats working in this office. So as of today,

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Speaker 5: we have done ninety seven thousand, three hundred and twenty

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Speaker 5: three cremations here at the Greenwood Cemetery. Right now, I'm

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Speaker 5: writing down our ninety seven, three hundred and twenty third

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Speaker 5: cremation Marion here. And basically what we do is everybody

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Speaker 5: gets assigned a number along with their name and what

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Speaker 5: funeral home that they're coming from, if it was a

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Speaker 5: service or not, what time they came in specifically, and

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Speaker 5: we have a pretty iron cloud system, I would say here,

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Speaker 5: so there's checks and balances at every office. The paperwork

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Speaker 5: comes through that, it makes its way to Gemma and

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Speaker 5: I in this office here, and then to the back

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Speaker 5: of our incredible crematory operators, which today we've got Jojo

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Speaker 5: and Alex.

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Speaker 4: They're a great team.

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Speaker 5: And they'll make sure that the paperwork stays with the

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Speaker 5: deceited the entire time.

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Speaker 7: I got so remains Paul, Alison Noovo and Tom says.

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Speaker 8: Hello, whole lot of good morning. I'm Alexander Ornandez started

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Speaker 8: here two thousand and six.

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Speaker 4: We whacking.

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Speaker 8: They don't make them like me, they don't. I'm built differently.

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Speaker 8: We'm a Creamer's horror operator. Today we have to deal

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Speaker 8: with services and families taking the deceased that come in.

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Speaker 3: But it's pretty cool.

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Speaker 8: With a mailman. We work in any type of weather.

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Speaker 8: It's no rain, sleep, so it's like you get to

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Speaker 8: see it all. Blizzards we work in blizzards is which

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Speaker 8: is insane. But that that alone is like, you know,

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Speaker 8: just to be like, oh, I'm outside, I'm not cooped

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Speaker 8: up in the office stressed the hell out. I mean,

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Speaker 8: because don't don't don't, don't get it twisted. It becomes

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Speaker 8: overwhelming too when you're even out in the field because

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Speaker 8: you got a lot of responsibility you got to do.

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Speaker 8: You know what I'm saying, make sure your job gets

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Speaker 8: done the right way in safety issues.

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Speaker 4: It's a lot.

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Speaker 8: But yeah, it's awesome. I wasn't rated well. I was

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Speaker 8: doing something else that wasn't really benefiting my life, to

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Speaker 8: be honest at one point. So it's like my brother

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Speaker 8: works were he was like, oh, we're hiring at the cemetery.

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Speaker 8: It's like, no, I never thought of it. I mean,

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Speaker 8: the deaf people don't bother me because they're dead. The

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Speaker 8: people that are alive we got to worry about in life.

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Speaker 8: Those are the ones we got to fear. But it's like,

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Speaker 8: you know, it's like when you tell people you work

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Speaker 8: at a cemetery, they get freaked out, like, oh my god,

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Speaker 8: you work. Like dude, they're dead already. They're not going

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Speaker 8: to do anything to you.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, so you're dead, you died. What happens next?

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Speaker 5: So funeral director comes in depending on what the family

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Speaker 5: wants with the dead person wanted.

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Speaker 4: The funeral home is the ones that are going to

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Speaker 4: transport the body.

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Speaker 7: Here.

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Speaker 5: We have a beautiful heart loading bay, so they'll come

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Speaker 5: in through there. Crematory operators will meet the funeral director

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Speaker 5: in the back, bring the casket, bring it into the back,

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Speaker 5: and then either place it into one of our chapels

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Speaker 5: for services or get staged and ready to go into

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Speaker 5: one of the retorts once all of the proper paperwork

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Speaker 5: is assigned to it.

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Speaker 4: To be an urn that be seen.

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Speaker 5: Sometimes we've got a service in the front, the caskets there,

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Speaker 5: the flowers are there, Maybe there's another ritual, there's singing,

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Speaker 5: there's a faith based leader there. The family is giving

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Speaker 5: the eulogy in there as well, because maybe especially if

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Speaker 5: it's a cremation, they chose not to have a wake

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Speaker 5: or the viewing services at the funeral home or parlor. Right,

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Speaker 5: so we'll bring some of the family and the casket

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Speaker 5: into the back right in front of the retort. Our

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Speaker 5: operators will open the doors. It's a steel door that

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Speaker 5: comes down and you know, you could see the stone

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Speaker 5: and where the fire is about to you know, really

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Speaker 5: start getting going in there, and we invite the family

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Speaker 5: if they want to to do that last part of

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Speaker 5: the ritual to press which it's kind of cinematic, but

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Speaker 5: it is this big red button, right, so they could

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Speaker 5: the button, so the door could come down and they

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Speaker 5: could be there right until the very start of the

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Speaker 5: cremation and then if they do a lact of witness

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Speaker 5: and that's you know, a little extra logistics on our end.

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Speaker 5: I've learned so much about just people from different backgrounds

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Speaker 5: and cultures and faiths to be able.

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Speaker 4: To be entrusted to be part of that.

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Speaker 5: But some people have specifically asked, Hey, is it okay

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Speaker 5: that I'm there for you know, ten full minutes, because

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Speaker 5: that's how long the prayer takes. And being able to

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Speaker 5: carve out that time and space talking to Gemma, talking

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Speaker 5: to Jojo and Alex in the back, Hey, like we

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Speaker 5: need a full ten minutes for this witness.

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Speaker 4: You know, could we accommodate that?

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Speaker 5: How could we work that out in our busy schedule today?

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Speaker 5: It is an honor and a privilege to bear witness

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Speaker 5: to a witness. I will absolutely say that I've heard

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Speaker 5: wailing like I've never heard before, and that's a testament

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Speaker 5: to how deep of a loss that that was for someone. Right,

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Speaker 5: I've heard chance prayers I'd never heard before. You know,

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Speaker 5: I'm just super Italian. So like my whole thing is

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Speaker 5: like it's a time to mourn, a time to dance,

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Speaker 5: Like we've all, you know, heard that in the church.

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Speaker 5: But I haven't seen Chinese rituals before. I haven't seen

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Speaker 5: you know, the elaborate costuming or you know of like

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Speaker 5: maybe a Hindu faith. So it's humbling to be able

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Speaker 5: to bear.

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Speaker 2: Witness to it all.

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Speaker 5: Douglas death work is ancient work, and if you look back,

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Speaker 5: it is a lot of women. You know, women are

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Speaker 5: the ones that in their communities really showed up for

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Speaker 5: death and for grief. Right, So I do get excited

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Speaker 5: about how much ritual we can bring to these experiences.

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Speaker 2: What per here?

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Speaker 7: Yeah, I'm Gemalabachetta, and I am the senior crematory manager

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Speaker 7: here at Greenwood Cemetery. When I first came to the

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Speaker 7: cemetery and I remember thinking about the crematory, people would

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Speaker 7: say to me, oh, no, they would never allow a

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Speaker 7: woman in the crematory.

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Speaker 4: And I was like, why, what are you talking about?

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Speaker 7: Why because I'm a woman, and now the entire staff

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Speaker 7: in the office is women. I mean, we have male operators,

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Speaker 7: but any one of us could jump in there and

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Speaker 7: help the guys out, like and we have.

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Speaker 4: We have done that on a hectic day.

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Speaker 7: We'll run back and we'll help out with the flowers,

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Speaker 7: cleaning up, taking a body in.

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Speaker 4: I mean, we are able.

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Speaker 3: To do all of that. It's just a.

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Speaker 7: Great feeling to be able to look out and.

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Speaker 3: Be like, hey, that's us.

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Speaker 7: Also, this is the fun office.

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Speaker 3: The crematory office is the fun office.

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Speaker 7: If you spent the whole day here with us, you

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Speaker 7: would see how many funeral directors just love to hang

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Speaker 7: out with us in this office.

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Speaker 9: You're definitely part of a regular day here. I'm Monique

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Speaker 9: Walker and I do livery with Woodward Funeral Home. And

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Speaker 9: over here we have Miss Linda Linda Thompson, and.

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Speaker 10: I am the manager slash owner.

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Speaker 3: She rolled with my father.

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Speaker 9: She was a funeral director who rolled with my dad,

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Speaker 9: who's no longer here, And my dad was a friend

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Speaker 9: of her dad's and that's how he got into the business.

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Speaker 9: So we're the daughters of two elder gentlemen who decided

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Speaker 9: to do this business in the livery and as funeral director.

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Speaker 10: I was a funeral director coming into the business in

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Speaker 10: the late seventies. I've been licensed since nineteen seventy nine.

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Speaker 10: I was a young young girl, very young. So I

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Speaker 10: have been here all these years and it's a crazy world.

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Speaker 10: And things have definitely changed, yes.

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Speaker 9: Most, but we try to hold onto tradition, yes, And

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Speaker 9: as much as things change, some things remain the same.

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Speaker 9: And there's a reason for the tradition and the way

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Speaker 9: we do things, and the grace and the empathy and

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Speaker 9: the style and the class is something we never want

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Speaker 9: to let go.

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Speaker 4: Oh, this huge typewriter.

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Speaker 5: Let me tell you about this huge typewriter that we

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Speaker 5: have in agrevatory. So it's an IBM Wheelwriter one thousand

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Speaker 5: by Lexmark. So our typewriter is where we type those labels.

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Speaker 5: It also, I think helps with our margin of error

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Speaker 5: because when you're physically you know, clacking away.

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Speaker 4: Here's just.

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Speaker 5: Say cremated body of.

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Speaker 4: And then get their name in there. But I'm not

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Speaker 4: gonna lie.

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Speaker 5: There is a little like I feel like I'm in

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Speaker 5: Madmen and I'm like clacking away at the typewriter.

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Speaker 4: It's kind of fun.

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Speaker 5: It's a little antiquated, but I think, you know, we

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Speaker 5: are a Brooklyn institution that is one hundred. We just

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Speaker 5: had our one hundred and eighty fifth birthday this year.

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Speaker 5: So since numbers are very important here, I won't lie.

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Speaker 5: Usually I make a little song out of it, and

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Speaker 5: I sing the person's cremation numbers, so I make sure

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Speaker 5: it's matching on all the paperwork. There is a strange

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Speaker 5: little way I feel like I'm honoring the person. You know,

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Speaker 5: I'll be like they last lived in Queens, like their sisters,

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Speaker 5: their legal custodian.

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Speaker 4: Like I don't know.

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Speaker 5: Also, we don't have an insane amount of information about

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Speaker 5: these folks, right, but there's still a story there.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, okay, wow, Like the family's gonna come in

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Speaker 4: at noon.

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Speaker 5: Maybe they needed extra time because they've got family coming

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Speaker 5: in from all over the world.

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Speaker 4: I wonder if I've ran by their apartment. Maybe I

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Speaker 4: know their son from the coffee shop. Like I have

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Speaker 4: this whole narrative.

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Speaker 5: In my head just from like this small bit of

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Speaker 5: information or just you know, I look at their ages.

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Speaker 5: I think about who I know that is that age.

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Speaker 5: I try and like help that ground me, and you know,

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Speaker 5: instead of just flying through the paperwork and be like, oh,

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Speaker 5: you know, yeah, Harry James, you know, rest in peace.

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Speaker 5: He was only seventy two, but he was married. He

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Speaker 5: lived a good life out there on Eastern Parkway, Douglas.

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Speaker 2: Here we are.

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Speaker 5: See dash nine seven three two four. All right, You're

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Speaker 5: never alone if you're in this office because these two

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Speaker 5: cabinets in front of us. Here is where the cremated

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Speaker 5: remains in their boxes sit until the funeral director and

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Speaker 5: or family comes to pick them up. So I'm never

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Speaker 5: alone when I'm in here. I'm like, all right, let's

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Speaker 5: see who's here. Oh John, Okay, it's weird. It's like

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Speaker 5: these people are dead. I'm like, maybe i'll name my

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Speaker 5: kid that one day. It sparks this conversation of like

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Speaker 5: life and names and legacy.

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Speaker 7: Sometimes when you're doing this whole day, you can't get

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Speaker 7: the numbers out of your head. So I've woken up

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Speaker 7: out of dreams with cremation numbers in my head, and

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Speaker 7: of course being Italian myself, my first thing instinct is

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Speaker 7: I gotta play that number.

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Speaker 4: I gotta play that number.

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Speaker 3: Oh my not.

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Speaker 5: I love that you associate the lotto with being like

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Speaker 5: innately Italian American.

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Speaker 4: Tell me it's Italian thing. No, no, I'm telling you

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Speaker 4: it definitely is.

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Speaker 7: Yah.

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Speaker 4: See I get it.

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Speaker 7: The numbers was always was big growing up. My father

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Speaker 7: used to play the numbers. My mother used to play

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Speaker 7: the numbers. Or guess what I play the numbers?

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Speaker 5: Do?

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Speaker 3: Now? Well?

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Speaker 4: You know why?

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Speaker 5: I think why we play the numbers is because you

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Speaker 5: never know when your numbers up, so you gotta live.

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Speaker 4: Well you can't.

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Speaker 3: Good point, dear Gabriella.

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Speaker 7: But for me, I feel that it's important that the

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Speaker 7: creamines be placed in a cemetery. You cannot even imagine

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Speaker 7: how many times we get calls from people of I

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Speaker 7: just found these cremains in a locker or a storage facility,

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Speaker 7: because people forget so if they're in a semi terry,

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Speaker 7: there's going to be something there that says you walk

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Speaker 7: this earth, whether it's the face of the niche that

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Speaker 7: has the person's name on it in the dates or

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Speaker 7: the urn that you see that has the engraving upon

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Speaker 7: the urn. There's going to be something that says, Harry

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Speaker 7: James walk this earth and was here. Everybody that walks

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Speaker 7: this planet should be memorialized.

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Speaker 3: They should be remembered.

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Speaker 7: It shouldn't be they were here now they're gone. Everybody

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Speaker 7: should be remembered. So when you're in a cemetery and

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Speaker 7: you look at some of the headstones that people probably

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Speaker 7: haven't had a visitor for maybe centuries, it's okay to

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Speaker 7: say that name out loud because you're remembering that person.

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Speaker 5: One of our security guards actually on his brakes, he

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Speaker 5: would walk around and look for super old stones and

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Speaker 5: just say the name's out loud because he wanted them

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Speaker 5: to know that, you know, their names had not been

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Speaker 5: said for.

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Speaker 4: The last time. We had a death cafe the other night.

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Speaker 5: It's pretty much a bunch of strangers hanging out drinking

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Speaker 5: tea and coffee and cookies, talking about.

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Speaker 4: Death, dying, grief and loss.

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Speaker 5: But we were kind of talking about signs and what

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00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:25,479
Speaker 5: gives us comfort, and I'm like, listen, I always make

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00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:27,359
Speaker 5: the joke like the Plumber and the Death Duel are

353
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:29,480
Speaker 5: asking the same question, like where do we go?

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Speaker 4: You know what I mean?

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Speaker 5: I don't know, but I hope everybody gets what they

356
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Speaker 5: believe is the other side. I hope everybody gets, you know,

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Speaker 5: what they want out of death and what they believe

358
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Speaker 5: it to be is right before I got the job here,

359
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,800
Speaker 5: I'm like birds sitting for a friend for extra cash.

360
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:48,720
Speaker 4: Like birds sitting, I'm like, what am I doing with

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Speaker 4: my life?

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Speaker 3: You know?

363
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Speaker 5: It's pouring rain. I'm like, you know, let me just

364
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Speaker 5: like you know, I'll get a car home. Something's like, no,

365
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:58,800
Speaker 5: you gotta walk more. And I have this presence around me,

366
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Speaker 5: and I think of my uncle Vinnie, and I'm like,

367
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Speaker 5: all right, Uncle Vinny, Like if this is you though,

368
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Speaker 5: like is this like vulnerable woman walking around New York

369
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Speaker 5: City alone? Or is this like my uncle spirit is

370
00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:11,520
Speaker 5: with me? Like what is the energy this is giving?

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Speaker 3: You know?

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00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,600
Speaker 5: And I'm like, all right, listen, you gotta give me

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Speaker 5: a sign that's abundantly like clear, like explicit as you can,

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Speaker 5: more than you ever have before. And this voice in

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Speaker 5: my head is just like two more blocks. It's torrential downpour.

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Speaker 5: So I'm all right, fine, I'm already like what.

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Speaker 4: Am I doing? Fine? I walk two more blocks. The

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Speaker 4: second I hit the second block, the fire.

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00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:40,840
Speaker 5: Truck with his name on it drives by a lot

380
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:45,440
Speaker 5: of times in the FDNY is when someone dies, their

381
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:48,479
Speaker 5: name may be placed on one of the fire trucks

382
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Speaker 5: from like they're the engine that they were last at.

383
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Speaker 5: So in my uncle Vinnie's case, you know, they put

384
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:57,800
Speaker 5: on his firetruck in loving memory of Vincent Arra and Garo.

385
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Speaker 5: I've never in my life had a moment where I

386
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:05,359
Speaker 5: literally like it took my breath away because I was like,

387
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Speaker 5: that is the most explicit sign you could have given me.

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Speaker 4: I mean, there's your name right there right.

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Speaker 5: He died of nine eleven related cancer. He had leukemia.

390
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Speaker 5: We got fifteen years with him after.

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Speaker 4: Nine to eleven.

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Speaker 5: But he, oh my god, this man his car broke

393
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:26,359
Speaker 5: down on the Brooklyn Bridge, like they still sprinted towards

394
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:29,160
Speaker 5: the fire because he was like, my guys are in there,

395
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:33,280
Speaker 5: and I'm like, whatever that was, whoever that was, however

396
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:36,040
Speaker 5: that came to be. I will always have a moment

397
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Speaker 5: that truly took my breath away that I found so

398
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:42,200
Speaker 5: much comfort in that really cracked me open. I hadn't

399
00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:44,480
Speaker 5: cried like I hadn't had one of those good heaving

400
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:47,760
Speaker 5: cries about my uncle until that moment, and I was

401
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:51,800
Speaker 5: so thankful for that access point to let that kind

402
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:53,960
Speaker 5: of grief out. I mean, I was crying as hard

403
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:57,200
Speaker 5: as it was raining that day, and I felt connected.

404
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:05,439
Speaker 4: She's coming for a drama. Oh okay, yeah, yeah means her.

405
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Speaker 9: No, I'm like, I won't see anything in here.

406
00:23:08,359 --> 00:23:12,960
Speaker 4: There she is, there, she is. She has talk about fashion.

407
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:15,640
Speaker 4: Look at you, we're just talking about I can't.

408
00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:18,000
Speaker 3: Even show you what I have the hers right now.

409
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:20,280
Speaker 3: Well not it's no longer there.

410
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:24,320
Speaker 6: But I do quite unique funerals because we're in the

411
00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:29,919
Speaker 6: service business and you have to empathize and sympathize and

412
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:31,680
Speaker 6: service your families.

413
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,919
Speaker 3: And even if it's like a little over the top,

414
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:37,959
Speaker 3: you do it. You do it.

415
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:41,399
Speaker 6: Today wasn't over the top day. We had two people

416
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:45,480
Speaker 6: in the front seat. In the back it was.

417
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:46,360
Speaker 3: His pooch.

418
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Speaker 6: And the family said it would mean a lot. It's

419
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:54,320
Speaker 6: only a two block run, and she was so adorable.

420
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:59,960
Speaker 6: Didn't walk nothing with its owner until very last minute.

421
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,040
Speaker 3: And I have to take him back to the crematory,

422
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:03,560
Speaker 3: thirty one year old boy.

423
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Speaker 6: And mom's in the harsh and.

424
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Speaker 3: I told her prayer to the Virgin mother.

425
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:13,840
Speaker 6: She lost her son at thirty three, not thirty one,

426
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 6: so she'll give her strength and for the two weeks

427
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 6: before Christmas. It's horrible, but somebody's got to do it.

428
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:23,600
Speaker 3: And this is what.

429
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:27,520
Speaker 6: It's about doing with the family requests. We got one

430
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:30,280
Speaker 6: shot my business, it's one shot.

431
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:31,040
Speaker 3: That's it.

432
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Speaker 6: My name is Doris Virginia Ahmann. Yes, my last name

433
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:39,080
Speaker 6: means the end. I'm of Batalian descent. I owne a

434
00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:41,080
Speaker 6: Polish funeral home in a mixed.

435
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:43,680
Speaker 3: Fag neighborhood here in Park Slope, Brooklyn called Jerike Park

436
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:44,680
Speaker 3: Slope Funeral Home.

437
00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:48,399
Speaker 6: I am the president and the director, the chief cooked

438
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Speaker 6: and bottle washer, and I do everything from the cleaning

439
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:52,960
Speaker 6: lady to the night crew.

440
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:54,119
Speaker 3: And it works.

441
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:57,879
Speaker 6: And I'm doing it for here almost thirty five years.

442
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:01,399
Speaker 6: Wait at the time that I don't know, Yeah, I know,

443
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:05,560
Speaker 6: I don't look it. Yeah, get married.

444
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:06,040
Speaker 3: And have kids.

445
00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:22,399
Speaker 6: You'll never make it. Jesus Christ died, Mohammad died. Everybody dies,

446
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:25,679
Speaker 6: it's just a transition from one to the other. I

447
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:29,200
Speaker 6: lost one of my partners. He was fifty Pegrida cancer.

448
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:30,200
Speaker 11: Well.

449
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:33,040
Speaker 3: I got so many signs from him. I told him.

450
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:34,760
Speaker 3: Go to your sisters. They think I'm nuts.

451
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:37,480
Speaker 6: A lot of people get signs, a lot of people

452
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:38,920
Speaker 6: read about the Attabaudy experience.

453
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,400
Speaker 3: A lot of people do believe in that.

454
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:45,000
Speaker 6: I tell my families all the time, go online, read them.

455
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:47,920
Speaker 3: There is something to it. There's something to it.

456
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:52,240
Speaker 6: I don't believe it's just over the body physically gone,

457
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:56,080
Speaker 6: but the soul, the spirit, we go somewhere else.

458
00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:58,000
Speaker 3: Absolutely, I'll bet.

459
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,720
Speaker 6: My bottom dollar on it. I'm not afraid to go

460
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:03,200
Speaker 6: whenever that may be. Don't want to go tonight. I

461
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:07,400
Speaker 6: got a Christmas party, however, gotta go a pleasure.

462
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:15,040
Speaker 4: Love you to have a good weekend. Same this kid

463
00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:16,080
Speaker 4: was only seventeen.

464
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:25,400
Speaker 5: It's so my family doesn't really Uh, they didn't really

465
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:28,720
Speaker 5: get it at first, you know, they're like, why do

466
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:30,840
Speaker 5: you like? It must be you know, I'm gonna just

467
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:34,520
Speaker 5: impersonate my mother right now. It must be so depressing.

468
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:38,199
Speaker 5: I'm worried about you doing this every day, Like is

469
00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:40,879
Speaker 5: this really what you want to be doing every day?

470
00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:47,920
Speaker 5: Like isn't it a lot? But to me, it's just about, hey, yeah,

471
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:49,560
Speaker 5: maybe that was too much and I need a little

472
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:50,320
Speaker 5: bit of a reset.

473
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:52,480
Speaker 4: Maybe I just need a macho latte.

474
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:55,320
Speaker 5: It could be Wow, I really need to be on

475
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:59,280
Speaker 5: the couch like in a fort like of blankets and

476
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:01,200
Speaker 5: have nobody look.

477
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:02,800
Speaker 4: At me or talk to me for a weekend.

478
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:06,080
Speaker 5: So it's being able to evaluate and when you come

479
00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:09,800
Speaker 5: up to it identifying oh this is a machilote day

480
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:13,000
Speaker 5: or this is a okay, I got to go buy

481
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 5: some bath bombs. We need candles, we need quiet, we

482
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:20,439
Speaker 5: need incense. So yeah, I mean, this work can be

483
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:22,760
Speaker 5: heavy sometimes, but I wouldn't want it any other way

484
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:24,760
Speaker 5: because that means that I'm.

485
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:26,880
Speaker 4: With the person or people.

486
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:32,520
Speaker 5: Truly, it's about getting comfortable with the uncomfortable truth that

487
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:33,280
Speaker 5: we're all going to die.

488
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 4: Right.

489
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:36,360
Speaker 5: So we've got these funeral directors that come in every day.

490
00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:38,840
Speaker 5: You know, some of these folks just have just some

491
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:42,399
Speaker 5: great ideas and advice on how to look at death,

492
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:45,680
Speaker 5: what to prepare for. I mean because sometimes simply I

493
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:48,920
Speaker 5: talk to them and they're like, yeah, it was kind

494
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:51,600
Speaker 5: of rough. We had to make a lot of decisions

495
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:55,000
Speaker 5: rather than you know, go through the motions a little

496
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,679
Speaker 5: bit more easily when the family came in after the

497
00:27:57,720 --> 00:27:58,360
Speaker 5: death occurred.

498
00:27:58,440 --> 00:27:58,680
Speaker 4: Right.

499
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:02,280
Speaker 5: It sounds silly, but you know, in this field, we

500
00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:06,240
Speaker 5: kind of term it unnecessary grief. And that's the paperwork

501
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:09,199
Speaker 5: that wasn't done before. And that's the small things like

502
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:11,080
Speaker 5: I want a wood casket or I don't care, I

503
00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:14,600
Speaker 5: want a cardboard box. It's all those Oh my god,

504
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:20,280
Speaker 5: well I'm dizzy with grief. I didn't have that written

505
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:23,040
Speaker 5: down anywhere. I had to make all these decisions.

506
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:23,080
Speaker 4: On the spot.

507
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:25,320
Speaker 5: And then you know, maybe there's guilt associated with that,

508
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:27,440
Speaker 5: or confusion or just grief.

509
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:27,840
Speaker 4: Right.

510
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:31,800
Speaker 5: We talk about the good death a lot, right, and

511
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:33,439
Speaker 5: I think part of the work we do here is

512
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:36,840
Speaker 5: helping people realize the services that are out there for

513
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:38,960
Speaker 5: you to get like that good death and for you

514
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:41,840
Speaker 5: to get what you want and have your family and

515
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:43,880
Speaker 5: you know, get what they need and want out of

516
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:48,600
Speaker 5: the experience. And my uncle Vinnie, like he got to

517
00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:51,400
Speaker 5: die in the living room you know that he built.

518
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:54,560
Speaker 5: He was like, hey, go get my fedora. And I

519
00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:56,960
Speaker 5: was like why, Like you're dying, like what's going on?

520
00:28:57,560 --> 00:28:57,800
Speaker 4: You know?

521
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:00,760
Speaker 5: And I got us fedora. I put it on him

522
00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 5: and he's like, all right, get everybody around me. We're

523
00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:06,640
Speaker 5: going to watch The Godfather together one more time. And

524
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:09,160
Speaker 5: I was like what, Like why are you cracking jokes,

525
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:11,840
Speaker 5: like being silly, like you know, you're leaving, like maybe

526
00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:14,560
Speaker 5: in a few hours, maybe in a day, maybe in

527
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:17,240
Speaker 5: an instant. No, I want to watch The Godfather one

528
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:19,680
Speaker 5: more time with my family and carge us to take pictures.

529
00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:21,880
Speaker 5: He's like, this is a family occasion. We're all here

530
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:26,520
Speaker 5: together for this big life and death event. And yeah,

531
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:28,840
Speaker 5: I mean, my uncle Vinnie taught me that. He taught

532
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:31,280
Speaker 5: me what a good death is. He taught me this

533
00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:33,000
Speaker 5: can be not a sad thing.

534
00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:33,520
Speaker 4: This could be.

535
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:36,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm on my way out, but like, let's hang

536
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,280
Speaker 5: out one last time. This is what it could look like,

537
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:41,520
Speaker 5: this is what it could feel like. And that's you know,

538
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:43,800
Speaker 5: I think part of why I was crazy enough to

539
00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:45,360
Speaker 5: be like, yeah, I want to work at a cemetery

540
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:48,360
Speaker 5: because I want to spread the gospel of death education

541
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:52,520
Speaker 5: and give people agency in their deaths. Because I think

542
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:55,400
Speaker 5: we think about agency in our life so much. We

543
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:58,640
Speaker 5: work with that, we talk about that, we can textualize it.

544
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:03,320
Speaker 5: There's a way to do that for our deaths as well.

545
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:06,480
Speaker 5: I think about my own death like all too much.

546
00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:11,680
Speaker 5: But I actually enjoyed doing so because for a lot

547
00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:15,120
Speaker 5: of reasons. You know, we heard today especially from funeral

548
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:18,160
Speaker 5: directors and the like. It really does help your loved

549
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:21,800
Speaker 5: ones and helps you confront your own mortality when you

550
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:26,000
Speaker 5: think about what you want in death. The funny thing, too,

551
00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:28,520
Speaker 5: is the more you think about what you want in death,

552
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 5: the more you think about what you want out of life,

553
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:33,880
Speaker 5: and you work harder and have a whole different perspective

554
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:34,800
Speaker 5: on it.

555
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 4: That's great.

556
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:45,920
Speaker 5: One of our security guards. But George started off as

557
00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:50,120
Speaker 5: a Greenwood volunteer and now is like just a staple

558
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:50,920
Speaker 5: of the institution.

559
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:53,760
Speaker 12: I don't think that it's just I like being helpful.

560
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:58,720
Speaker 12: My name is George Orgrigez, and I've worked here total

561
00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:04,840
Speaker 12: of nine years. I'm actually the patrol officer today. We

562
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:09,240
Speaker 12: have several night creatures. We have skunks number one, that's

563
00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:11,840
Speaker 12: our main line of defense. If you run into one,

564
00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:20,800
Speaker 12: you're marked. Two raccoons, three groundhogs. They're not much night creatures,

565
00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:24,280
Speaker 12: but they could scare you if you cross their burrow.

566
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 12: And then we have possums, which are our last ditch

567
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:33,520
Speaker 12: line of defense because they look like death donned over.

568
00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:36,000
Speaker 12: These are creatures that have died and they come to

569
00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:36,920
Speaker 12: life to scare.

570
00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:38,680
Speaker 3: The crap out of you. And and that's it.

571
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:41,479
Speaker 12: Those are the four guys that are out there, along

572
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:45,120
Speaker 12: with the owls and bats and so on. I don't

573
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:48,760
Speaker 12: get creeped out at here at all. Ever, if you're

574
00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:52,960
Speaker 12: coming here and you have family here, or family that's

575
00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:56,480
Speaker 12: going to be interred here, you're joining a larger family.

576
00:31:57,240 --> 00:32:01,440
Speaker 12: Everyone here is now part of the human family that's Screenwood, right,

577
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 12: So from Horace Greeley to your your aunt or uncle

578
00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:09,520
Speaker 12: or mother and father, they're now all together. So if

579
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:13,480
Speaker 12: you're looking for someone, take note of people or stones

580
00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:16,680
Speaker 12: around you, because they're family too, and and you'll they'll

581
00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 12: help you get there. They'll help you find your grave, easy, easy, peasy.

582
00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:22,640
Speaker 4: I love that though.

583
00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:25,320
Speaker 7: That's because I think there's this idea that a cemetery

584
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:29,440
Speaker 7: is like cold and alone and creepy and live.

585
00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:32,120
Speaker 12: It's living. You got trees, you got grass, you got

586
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:37,120
Speaker 12: the various animals we have, and people who visit are

587
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:41,320
Speaker 12: bringing their energy, their life into it anyway, right. And

588
00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:44,040
Speaker 12: the guys who work in the grounds, people who work

589
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 12: in the office, they're all bringing life in here. So

590
00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:55,280
Speaker 12: wherever we are, there's going to be life.

591
00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 4: William B.

592
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:03,840
Speaker 7: Afternoon, all right.

593
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:15,120
Speaker 5: I would love to be composted if possible, Like you know,

594
00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:19,040
Speaker 5: I should be part of the family sauce one day,

595
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:21,000
Speaker 5: like put me near a tomato plan.

596
00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:22,880
Speaker 4: I don't know, you know what I mean.

597
00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:34,240
Speaker 1: I'm home after a day at the creamatory, and yeah,

598
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:40,000
Speaker 1: I'm so grateful. I'm ready to do it all again tomorrow, but.

599
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:43,720
Speaker 11: For now, I'm gonna let my honey pumpkin candle for

600
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:50,400
Speaker 11: Marshall's glow, cling to my beetle juice pillow and kind of.

601
00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:52,400
Speaker 4: Just take it all in before.

602
00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:54,360
Speaker 2: Before sleep

603
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:02,600
Speaker 4: Doora deserr honly to really