WEBVTT - Smoking 0:00:01.080 --> 0:00:02.240 Attention Shoppers. 0:00:02.320 --> 0:00:06.920 Attention Shoppers Employees Only is an improvised comedy podcast about 0:00:06.960 --> 0:00:11.000 a finitional big box store. Any similarity to real stores 0:00:11.119 --> 0:00:13.960 or real people is completely coincidental. 0:00:17.760 --> 0:00:20.200 Okay, well, I have y'all in here in the break 0:00:20.320 --> 0:00:23.840 room before we open the store. I'm gonna do a 0:00:23.840 --> 0:00:26.360 couple of announcements to get us started off here. And 0:00:26.680 --> 0:00:29.120 remember there's no feed up on the tables here in 0:00:29.160 --> 0:00:33.040 the breakroom, especially without your shoes on. But just in general, 0:00:33.400 --> 0:00:36.240 and hey, Victor, we got this wet spot here. I 0:00:36.240 --> 0:00:39.600 think we need to put out the caution wet floor 0:00:39.720 --> 0:00:43.080 sign right here, thank you very much. And how come 0:00:43.159 --> 0:00:45.640 all the chairs are all at this one table? Guys, 0:00:45.800 --> 0:00:48.519 we need to evenly distribute the chairs. 0:00:48.560 --> 0:00:48.880 Okay. 0:00:49.080 --> 0:00:52.040 I don't want like a popular click that I'm not 0:00:52.200 --> 0:00:56.000 in all hanging out at one table. Okay, Like we 0:00:56.040 --> 0:00:59.480 can all hang out together, in fact, even after hours, 0:00:59.520 --> 0:01:02.600 if anybody he wants to like hang or like just 0:01:02.640 --> 0:01:05.120 go to the bar or chat or just you know, 0:01:05.680 --> 0:01:09.280 straight out chill, like hit me up, because like I'm around. 0:01:12.040 --> 0:01:19.160 Lewis nothing We don't say everything by. 0:01:22.600 --> 0:01:26.480 Okay, y'all, I thought it would be really fun if 0:01:26.480 --> 0:01:29.600 we played a little game today, okay, And what I 0:01:29.600 --> 0:01:32.280 thought we could do is that each of us could 0:01:32.360 --> 0:01:35.800 state a goal that we have for our work here 0:01:35.880 --> 0:01:36.479 at Buy Well. 0:01:36.560 --> 0:01:39.720 Today, I'll start to give you an example of what 0:01:39.760 --> 0:01:42.840 I mean. Okay, I want to make at least three 0:01:43.040 --> 0:01:45.360 customers smile today. 0:01:45.520 --> 0:01:47.080 By completely leaving them alone. 0:01:47.160 --> 0:01:49.760 All right, that's Robert. Do you have a goal that 0:01:49.800 --> 0:01:54.200 you'd like to share? Yeah, okay, go ahead, Yeah, I'm 0:01:54.200 --> 0:01:55.320 gonna find a better job. 0:01:55.800 --> 0:01:56.200 All right. 0:01:56.240 --> 0:01:58.640 Well, if you're gonna find a better job, please do 0:01:58.720 --> 0:02:00.960 that on your lunch break, Liz. 0:02:01.760 --> 0:02:03.800 I mean, on a personal level, I really want to 0:02:03.800 --> 0:02:06.120 try to get down to four diet cokes a day, 0:02:07.000 --> 0:02:09.520 down from six, if I can do it. Fingers crossed. 0:02:09.520 --> 0:02:13.480 But I think I'm also going to send my store 0:02:13.480 --> 0:02:15.920 manager an article about loneliness so he can see that 0:02:16.000 --> 0:02:18.920 some of these woo woo activities he plans for us 0:02:18.960 --> 0:02:20.280 are really just a cry for help. 0:02:20.639 --> 0:02:23.880 Well, I think this has been really fun and really useful. 0:02:24.080 --> 0:02:28.960 And oh hey, Arnold, Hi, Hi, everybody, so nice of 0:02:29.000 --> 0:02:29.960 you to join us. 0:02:30.280 --> 0:02:31.320 Where were Arnold? 0:02:31.480 --> 0:02:34.239 I just added the loading dock smoking my morning cigarette. 0:02:34.360 --> 0:02:38.240 Okay, Well, although you are allowed to smoke on the 0:02:38.240 --> 0:02:40.800 loading dock, you really miss out on a lot of 0:02:40.800 --> 0:02:43.480 the fun we are having here in the break room now. 0:02:44.080 --> 0:02:46.960 Jerry, I'm hearing all of it. I leave that door 0:02:46.960 --> 0:02:49.480 cracked open. I can hear everything y'all are talking about. 0:02:50.000 --> 0:02:53.480 So if we go smoke on the loading dock, we 0:02:53.520 --> 0:02:57.720 don't need to be here for this morning meeting. Team 0:02:57.760 --> 0:02:59.960 building garbage is what you're saying. 0:03:00.160 --> 0:03:04.480 You onto something. Oh, I gotta go, Yeah, I do that. 0:03:04.680 --> 0:03:07.000 I probably have a couple of old cigarettes. I'm just 0:03:07.000 --> 0:03:08.200 gonna go check my laun. 0:03:07.960 --> 0:03:10.720 No, I guess I could have tea tea, a couple 0:03:10.760 --> 0:03:11.440 more guys. 0:03:11.880 --> 0:03:17.800 Hey, guys, are you okay? Okay? 0:03:19.680 --> 0:03:24.400 Oh lord, Robert, there are too many damn blue haired 0:03:24.440 --> 0:03:27.640 old ladies in the store today. I tell you, looked 0:03:27.639 --> 0:03:29.680 out there and it looked like a damn bowl of 0:03:29.720 --> 0:03:30.920 Frankenberry cereal. 0:03:31.200 --> 0:03:33.920 This country too old as it is. Did you see 0:03:33.919 --> 0:03:36.880 Mitch McConnell at the press conference? He just went blank. 0:03:36.960 --> 0:03:38.840 They asked him if he was running for re election, 0:03:38.960 --> 0:03:42.000 and he just shut down and just started staring at 0:03:42.040 --> 0:03:44.360 the wall like he was looking off in space, like 0:03:44.400 --> 0:03:46.640 he was here and kill bill, Sirren's. 0:03:46.520 --> 0:03:48.920 You don't have to steer it back to him. He 0:03:49.080 --> 0:03:52.000 is overwhelmed. He's not like these old bitches driving around 0:03:52.040 --> 0:03:54.520 with nothing to do but slow people down at the checkout. 0:03:54.680 --> 0:03:57.400 He's in charge of making sure Congress doesn't do nothing. 0:03:57.520 --> 0:04:00.480 Yeah, Republicans are so worried about the woke ma. Meanwhile, 0:04:00.520 --> 0:04:02.640 their minority leader can't stay awake. 0:04:02.800 --> 0:04:03.120 You know what. 0:04:03.280 --> 0:04:06.200 Honestly, Liz, maybe he just thought it was a stupid question, 0:04:06.440 --> 0:04:09.960 all right, And then fact that is a power move. 0:04:10.040 --> 0:04:10.440 All right. 0:04:10.680 --> 0:04:12.200 Next time you ask me if I'm done with the 0:04:12.200 --> 0:04:15.600 coffee machine, I'm just gonna stare off into space for 0:04:15.640 --> 0:04:16.719 thirty seconds. 0:04:16.960 --> 0:04:17.600 I love this. 0:04:17.960 --> 0:04:19.640 I love it too. I don't get to hear you 0:04:19.680 --> 0:04:22.599 talk for thirty seconds. The Republicans won't let this guy 0:04:22.600 --> 0:04:24.440 step down because they don't want to lose his seat 0:04:24.480 --> 0:04:27.560 in Congress. They'd rather that seat be covered in urine. 0:04:27.680 --> 0:04:30.680 Oh, y'all so quick to jump on Mitch McConnell. He's 0:04:30.760 --> 0:04:33.840 only a year older than Biden, y'all. When Mitch McConnell 0:04:33.880 --> 0:04:37.360 gets light headed, maybe he stops talking. Biden, However, he'll 0:04:37.440 --> 0:04:40.719 just keep running his mouth, yammering on about malarkey and 0:04:41.000 --> 0:04:42.919 whether the dead people are there or not. He is 0:04:43.040 --> 0:04:45.480 out and proud with his dementia. I'll give him that. 0:04:45.960 --> 0:04:49.560 Ms McConnell. I see why he's slowed down Congress. He's 0:04:49.560 --> 0:04:52.880 got a turtle face. It's just manifested. Is coming out 0:04:53.000 --> 0:04:55.680 Oo's works in mysterious ways. I just saw that new 0:04:55.720 --> 0:04:58.680 teenage mutant Ninja Turtles. You don't know how it affects people. 0:04:59.360 --> 0:05:02.680 I've been a Mitch McConnell hater for years, and I 0:05:02.720 --> 0:05:05.440 will say that of all the shitty things Mitch McConnell's done, 0:05:05.480 --> 0:05:07.960 making me feel sorry for him has got to be 0:05:08.000 --> 0:05:08.440 the worst. 0:05:08.760 --> 0:05:11.760 Wait a minute, isn't Mitch McConnell from Kentucky. That's the 0:05:11.800 --> 0:05:14.560 state that was fighting to keep up them Confederate statues, right, 0:05:14.600 --> 0:05:17.839 it only makes sense he wants to beat a statue hisself. 0:05:18.400 --> 0:05:20.400 Oh, he's trying to replace the statue. 0:05:20.480 --> 0:05:21.960 Yes, he is gonna freeze. 0:05:22.000 --> 0:05:24.800 They are gonna dip him in bronze and stand him 0:05:24.880 --> 0:05:26.880 up in the middle of some square somewhere where they 0:05:26.960 --> 0:05:28.360 used to sell black people. 0:05:28.360 --> 0:05:34.719 By Bright. 0:05:36.760 --> 0:05:37.680 Check it out. 0:05:38.600 --> 0:05:41.760 Got a package deal from a family trip. I'm excited. 0:05:41.800 --> 0:05:44.680 We're going to SeaWorld. Can't wait to go to sea World. 0:05:44.920 --> 0:05:47.000 They have a one part of the park where my 0:05:47.160 --> 0:05:50.599 kids can ride a dolphin like a jet ski. 0:05:51.040 --> 0:05:53.520 You right wingers love your trips. I mean, did you 0:05:53.560 --> 0:05:56.680 see where Clarence Thomas just admitted he took three trips 0:05:56.680 --> 0:05:59.000 on a private jet owned by Harlan Crowe. 0:05:59.680 --> 0:06:03.600 Hey, Harlan Crow, that's that donor guy right. I heard 0:06:03.600 --> 0:06:06.320 he took Clarence Thomas on like a whole trip to 0:06:06.360 --> 0:06:09.520 Indonesia on a yacht. It amazes me how bad some 0:06:09.560 --> 0:06:10.800 people want a black friend. 0:06:11.000 --> 0:06:15.440 I will say I am jealous of Clarence Thomas. I 0:06:15.680 --> 0:06:18.320 used to get offered vacations like that from the old 0:06:18.400 --> 0:06:21.279 rich gentlemen, but they were always working vacations, if you 0:06:21.320 --> 0:06:23.760 know what I mean. They would take me on a trip, 0:06:23.800 --> 0:06:26.560 and there is no ocean view that can't be ruined 0:06:26.560 --> 0:06:29.120 by a geriatric ball sack just dripping down. 0:06:29.400 --> 0:06:32.440 They do get longer with age, I've noticed, Oh honey, 0:06:32.480 --> 0:06:32.719 I know. 0:06:33.400 --> 0:06:35.800 They said, Harlan Crow pay for two years of private 0:06:35.800 --> 0:06:39.120 school and bought Clarence Thomas's mama house. And then this 0:06:39.279 --> 0:06:41.800 man just said that's what friends do. If that's what 0:06:41.880 --> 0:06:44.920 friends do, my friends ain't shit. I got terrible friends. 0:06:45.000 --> 0:06:47.480 They don't even pitch in when we go to Buffalo 0:06:47.520 --> 0:06:48.040 Wild Wind. 0:06:48.200 --> 0:06:50.760 I think that the gay Republicans and the Black Republicans 0:06:50.760 --> 0:06:53.920 have got to stick together. We are mythological creatures, unicorns 0:06:53.920 --> 0:06:57.360 and leprechauns. Baby, we can rub each other's bellies for 0:06:57.440 --> 0:06:58.560 good luck, you know it. 0:06:59.040 --> 0:07:01.920 Sometimes you could just tell if somebody evil man's name 0:07:01.960 --> 0:07:05.080 is Harlan crow That sounds like a John wickvillein Tim 0:07:05.080 --> 0:07:07.880 Bucks says, if Harlan Crowe saw Clarence Thomas without his 0:07:08.000 --> 0:07:11.400 judge rob On, he'd hand him his luggage. He's gonna 0:07:11.400 --> 0:07:13.840 find out. It's like when they treated Oprah crazy because 0:07:13.880 --> 0:07:14.920 she didn't have her hair done. 0:07:18.200 --> 0:07:20.520 Those damn meth heads just walked in the store again. 0:07:20.720 --> 0:07:23.800 Oh now, somebody better call over to pharmacy and tell 0:07:23.840 --> 0:07:26.920 him to lock up the pseudo fed baby. 0:07:27.200 --> 0:07:30.040 Well, don't blame me. I turned my location off when 0:07:30.120 --> 0:07:33.200 I come into work now because these damn tweakers follow 0:07:33.280 --> 0:07:33.920 me everywhere. 0:07:34.400 --> 0:07:34.720 Wow. 0:07:35.080 --> 0:07:37.520 But you know it's not just that, it's everything else 0:07:37.560 --> 0:07:40.440 in this country. They're making marijuana llegal everywhere, and it's 0:07:40.440 --> 0:07:43.520 the gateway I read where the Department of Health and 0:07:43.600 --> 0:07:46.800 Human Services just this last week they're trying to change 0:07:46.840 --> 0:07:49.880 the legal status of that damn marijuana, making it a 0:07:49.960 --> 0:07:53.480 schedule three instead of a schedule one. Drug changing that 0:07:53.640 --> 0:07:55.760 damn schedule more than they do down here at Bye. 0:07:55.840 --> 0:07:56.040 Well. 0:07:56.440 --> 0:07:59.239 I'm just concerned that marijuana is a gateway to other stuff, 0:07:59.280 --> 0:08:03.040 you know, you know, like anime, fish concerts. 0:08:03.440 --> 0:08:05.760 Oh lord, you tell me about it. I had some 0:08:05.880 --> 0:08:08.280 younger fella over one time. You put on fish for 0:08:08.400 --> 0:08:12.640 me Fish It sounded like somebody took three old guitars 0:08:12.680 --> 0:08:14.120 and dropped them down a waterfall. 0:08:14.840 --> 0:08:17.400 Whatever you guys. It should be legal, but it needs 0:08:17.480 --> 0:08:19.920 to be used responsibly. I mean, it can be both 0:08:20.040 --> 0:08:24.160 creative or destructive. Marijuana brought us Bob Marley, but it 0:08:24.200 --> 0:08:27.320 also brought us Russell Brand and I use I'm a 0:08:27.360 --> 0:08:30.000 cool mom, Okay. I sometimes have a little puff on 0:08:30.000 --> 0:08:32.280 a joint after the kids go to bed, or when 0:08:32.320 --> 0:08:35.120 I'm driving them to soccer practice, or maybe just like 0:08:35.200 --> 0:08:37.480 a little toke in the bathroom at the PTA meeting. 0:08:38.160 --> 0:08:38.720 I'm cool. 0:08:39.040 --> 0:08:40.160 We needs to be legal. 0:08:40.240 --> 0:08:42.920 I just hate that I can't buy it from the 0:08:42.920 --> 0:08:44.880 people that used to buy it from. I hate going 0:08:44.920 --> 0:08:47.560 to dispensaries. That's not how I like to buy drugs. 0:08:47.600 --> 0:08:50.440 I don't buy drugs with all the lights on. That's weird. 0:08:50.559 --> 0:08:53.760 You're supposed to buy drugs in a dimly lit trap 0:08:53.800 --> 0:08:56.640 house with one light on in the kitchen, and you 0:08:56.679 --> 0:08:58.839 can't really see what's going on, and you just stick 0:08:58.840 --> 0:09:02.320 your money in the light and then somebody hand comes 0:09:02.320 --> 0:09:04.560 out of the dark, grabs your money. It gives you 0:09:04.600 --> 0:09:07.439 what you want, and you leave. Stop trying to make 0:09:07.520 --> 0:09:10.160 this shit look like an apple store, Robert. 0:09:10.200 --> 0:09:13.440 Some of those trap houses sound familiar for different reasons 0:09:13.440 --> 0:09:16.040 to me. Where it's dark, there's one light bulb, you 0:09:16.080 --> 0:09:18.440 give somebody the money and they give you what you want. 0:09:19.559 --> 0:09:21.880 Good God, I never went that deep in there. 0:09:21.920 --> 0:09:24.360 Well neither did I, but it got that deep into me. 0:09:24.760 --> 0:09:28.800 Listen, weed is a soft drug, Okay, it's a Schedule two, 0:09:28.800 --> 0:09:32.320 Schedule three. Harder drugs are called schedule one drugs. And 0:09:32.400 --> 0:09:34.840 I get that cause, like, if you're smoking crack, it 0:09:34.920 --> 0:09:37.160 is like the only thing in your schedule. It's like 0:09:37.200 --> 0:09:40.000 the one thing, you know, Like every space in your 0:09:40.080 --> 0:09:42.440 day planner is like do crack, new crack, new crack, 0:09:42.520 --> 0:09:44.760 you know, like that's the one thing you're focused on. 0:09:53.440 --> 0:09:55.880 Hey, ronold girl, what you're doing out here? I didn't 0:09:55.920 --> 0:09:56.480 know you spoke? 0:09:56.840 --> 0:09:58.600 Well, I go in and out based on you know 0:09:58.640 --> 0:10:02.080 what's happening politically. But Jerry's always in the break room. 0:10:02.720 --> 0:10:04.920 So if I'm out here smoking, I'm not in there 0:10:04.960 --> 0:10:09.880 with Jerry. See how that works. See Timbo out there. 0:10:10.679 --> 0:10:13.360 The lord, Honey, why do you think I've been out 0:10:13.360 --> 0:10:14.920 here puffing on them all day? 0:10:15.080 --> 0:10:17.840 Damn, it's been years since we had a hot fork 0:10:17.920 --> 0:10:19.040 left operator out here. 0:10:19.200 --> 0:10:21.960 They usually come in here looking like a waffle house special. 0:10:22.040 --> 0:10:23.959 I don't know where they got him from. They dragged 0:10:24.000 --> 0:10:26.040 him from twenty four hour fitness. Maybe he's got an 0:10:26.040 --> 0:10:27.199 extra eight hours in the day. 0:10:27.240 --> 0:10:30.120 Lord, huh huh, yes, queen, go. 0:10:30.040 --> 0:10:33.560 Off now, girl, don't you go trying to make me 0:10:33.640 --> 0:10:34.400 your gay friend. 0:10:34.880 --> 0:10:35.480 ARNOLDA. 0:10:35.880 --> 0:10:38.000 I got enough of them down at the slapping dime, 0:10:38.040 --> 0:10:40.440 and I don't need none others that have long hair 0:10:40.480 --> 0:10:41.760 and don't got any whiskers. 0:10:42.000 --> 0:10:45.720 Please, Arnold, come on. There's like nobody fun in Harrisburg. 0:10:45.840 --> 0:10:49.679 I need you. I have so many opinions about drag racing. 0:10:49.760 --> 0:10:51.480 No one to talk to, honey. 0:10:51.800 --> 0:10:53.000 There's message boards. 0:10:53.440 --> 0:10:54.800 I can be fun. 0:10:55.440 --> 0:10:57.720 I'm looking for three things between the legs, honey, and 0:10:57.760 --> 0:10:59.000 you ain't got not one of them. 0:10:59.400 --> 0:11:02.640 Uh, little man drapped in here. 0:11:04.160 --> 0:11:08.920 The word we are just going out, Rich, m oh yeah, 0:11:09.160 --> 0:11:11.560 anyway we go love cigar? 0:11:12.320 --> 0:11:15.280 Yes it is. I love a QB after a hard 0:11:15.360 --> 0:11:17.960 day's work, one big fat qb. 0:11:18.480 --> 0:11:21.880 Well, first of all, it's ten am, and second of all, 0:11:22.800 --> 0:11:27.440 this is like the most offensive smell. Rich, Can you 0:11:27.520 --> 0:11:30.240 stand down wind of me? That thing is so gross. 0:11:31.559 --> 0:11:34.560 We're in a loading dock, there's no wind, liszt. 0:11:35.240 --> 0:11:36.240 We're not on a boat. 0:11:38.160 --> 0:11:40.800 Oh God, watching you suck on that thing is going 0:11:40.840 --> 0:11:41.760 to give me nightmares. 0:11:42.200 --> 0:11:45.160 I can't believe y'all out here smoking. It's bad for you. 0:11:45.280 --> 0:11:50.960 It destroys your lungs. It shortened your lifespan. That's why vight. Yeah, 0:11:51.120 --> 0:11:53.760 it's a lot safer. It's like the blue tooth of smoking, 0:11:53.920 --> 0:11:55.360 instead of inhaling smoke. 0:11:55.440 --> 0:11:56.160 You download. 0:11:56.280 --> 0:12:02.679 Hey, y'all, y'all aure Jerry, you damn fool you let 0:12:02.760 --> 0:12:03.000 the door. 0:12:05.920 --> 0:12:06.880 We had that propped. 0:12:07.080 --> 0:12:10.040 Now we got to walk quarter mile back to the front. 0:12:10.320 --> 0:12:13.320 Yeah, it is a big stort. Anybody wanna give me 0:12:13.360 --> 0:12:16.199 one of those cigarettes, Liz? Can I have one of 0:12:16.240 --> 0:12:17.640 those Virginia slims off you? 0:12:17.840 --> 0:12:18.040 Yeah? 0:12:18.080 --> 0:12:19.600 Here you go, Jerry, you could take my last one. 0:12:19.600 --> 0:12:21.480 I'm gonna start the walk around to the front. I'll 0:12:21.520 --> 0:12:22.520 let you guys in see you. 0:12:22.880 --> 0:12:26.160 Oh man, what a conundrum? Stay out here with Jerry 0:12:26.200 --> 0:12:29.240 or walk with Liz? Is this what hell is? 0:12:29.440 --> 0:12:31.839 Well, there's a short cut. There is a short cut. 0:12:31.960 --> 0:12:34.240 Y'all aren't gonna like it. If somebody can help me 0:12:34.400 --> 0:12:36.840 move this trash bag out of here. We can crawl 0:12:36.880 --> 0:12:39.160 in through the meat department trash chute and get in 0:12:39.200 --> 0:12:41.439 that way. But you're gonna be covered in pork all day. 0:12:41.520 --> 0:12:43.720 We just take a nice long pull off of this 0:12:43.880 --> 0:12:52.520 Virginia slim. 0:12:54.160 --> 0:12:56.600 I may have yeah, thank you, Robert. I may have 0:12:56.679 --> 0:12:57.360 let the wrong end. 0:12:57.480 --> 0:12:59.920 That's it. I'm gonna crawl in through the trash chute. 0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:01.320 I'm not sitting through this ship. 0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:03.160 I'll just walk around. 0:13:03.360 --> 0:13:06.960 Guys, they got. 0:13:08.840 --> 0:13:14.199 Anybody's still out there? Hello, God, damn it. I'm stuck 0:13:14.240 --> 0:13:17.080 in this damn thing like Lenny the pooh Me squeezed 0:13:17.120 --> 0:13:18.839 in here with a bunch of pigpeckers. 0:13:18.880 --> 0:13:20.800 Holy shit, bye. 0:13:24.600 --> 0:13:25.480 Bye way. 0:13:27.840 --> 0:13:31.120 This memo says our biwill has too much shrinkage. That's 0:13:31.160 --> 0:13:33.880 what they call shoplifting. Why they gotta make it a 0:13:33.880 --> 0:13:34.480 penis thing? 0:13:34.720 --> 0:13:38.199 Well, honey, don't come complaining to me. You know, if 0:13:38.240 --> 0:13:40.440 they were gonna make it a boob metaphor, they'd have 0:13:40.520 --> 0:13:43.240 to call it saggage and baggage. You wouldn't be happy 0:13:43.280 --> 0:13:47.000 about that either. But you know, also, unfortunately crime is 0:13:47.120 --> 0:13:49.640 up all over the damn country with Biden in charge. 0:13:49.679 --> 0:13:51.160 I don't know if you want to hear it, but 0:13:51.400 --> 0:13:53.720 just this last week in Chicago, there is a news 0:13:53.720 --> 0:13:56.600 crew reporting on a robbery and they got robbed themselves 0:13:57.000 --> 0:14:00.559 at gunpoint. Hand to god. I read about it right 0:14:00.600 --> 0:14:03.400 about it in a multicolored blog with American flags at 0:14:03.440 --> 0:14:05.400 the bottom. A couple of hamsters dancing. 0:14:05.559 --> 0:14:08.280 Yeah, I saw I saw that story too. Who were 0:14:08.320 --> 0:14:11.040 these guys gonna sell a stolen TV camera? 0:14:11.120 --> 0:14:11.200 To? 0:14:11.600 --> 0:14:15.199 Like? Are there criminals out there filming reality pilots? Are 0:14:15.200 --> 0:14:18.199 the gangster disciples trying to get a Bravo deal? What's 0:14:18.240 --> 0:14:18.920 the market for that? 0:14:19.680 --> 0:14:19.880 You know? 0:14:20.080 --> 0:14:23.280 I'm just gonna point it out. Obama spent a lot 0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:24.320 of time in Chicago. 0:14:24.720 --> 0:14:24.920 Mmm. 0:14:26.480 --> 0:14:30.720 I'm not sure how that's exactly connected with the robbery, 0:14:30.760 --> 0:14:32.440 but just want to point it out. 0:14:32.760 --> 0:14:35.200 A guy tried to rob me one time, but I 0:14:35.280 --> 0:14:38.360 just started talking about all of the socioeconomic injustices that 0:14:38.400 --> 0:14:40.240 had brought him to that point. In his life, and 0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:42.600 he decided it wasn't worth it and he just walked away. 0:14:42.960 --> 0:14:46.320 Clearly what this comes for as arming cameraman. 0:14:46.680 --> 0:14:47.120 All right. 0:14:47.520 --> 0:14:51.200 Luckily they're already familiar with the terms aim and shoot 0:14:51.240 --> 0:14:54.480 and the boom mic guy should have nune chucks. You 0:14:54.520 --> 0:14:57.240 can call him boom boom sticks. We make the whole 0:14:57.280 --> 0:14:57.800 thing work. 0:14:58.160 --> 0:14:59.840 I really hope they make their own news in it. 0:15:00.400 --> 0:15:04.040 That would be great. The criminals covering the crime. We're 0:15:04.080 --> 0:15:05.880 on the scene first because we did it. 0:15:09.720 --> 0:15:11.680 Did I just hear hip hop playing over the bi 0:15:11.760 --> 0:15:13.000 well Pa system. 0:15:13.120 --> 0:15:16.120 Yeah, they playing the Musac version of like all the 0:15:16.280 --> 0:15:19.960 like two thousand rappers. I heard like Muzak Diddy. They 0:15:19.960 --> 0:15:22.320 had a Musak Snoop. The other one they just played 0:15:22.360 --> 0:15:23.440 was Musak fifty cent. 0:15:23.560 --> 0:15:26.160 So ugh that guy, did you hear? He just threw 0:15:26.160 --> 0:15:28.160 a microphone into the crowd at a concert and he 0:15:28.240 --> 0:15:29.560 hit a woman in the head. She had to go 0:15:29.600 --> 0:15:33.200 to the hospital. Brandy Carlisle would never throw microphone into 0:15:33.240 --> 0:15:36.040 the audience. I mean one time I saw her chug 0:15:36.080 --> 0:15:38.840 and toss a plastic kombucha bottle, but that was thrilling. 0:15:39.880 --> 0:15:42.000 On the other hand, you went to a fifty cent 0:15:42.040 --> 0:15:43.960 concert you had to know it was going to be painful. 0:15:44.120 --> 0:15:44.320 You know. 0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:48.280 Fifty cent and I actually have a lot in common, 0:15:48.560 --> 0:15:51.520 you know, because i've I've I've taken a bullet before, 0:15:52.200 --> 0:15:54.800 you know, although in my case it was because of 0:15:54.920 --> 0:15:57.120 another hunter mistook me for a deer. 0:15:57.160 --> 0:15:59.400 And having sex. I ain't making love. I remember that, 0:15:59.480 --> 0:16:01.960 I remember it. Remembered. It played in the background for 0:16:02.000 --> 0:16:04.520 two years every time I was hooking up with somebody, 0:16:04.560 --> 0:16:07.880 that was the song. And let me tell you, he 0:16:07.960 --> 0:16:11.280 looks good. Fifty cent looks good for a man who's 0:16:11.280 --> 0:16:14.800 almost fifty cent years old. They say black don't crack. 0:16:15.120 --> 0:16:17.080 It's not my place to say it, but honey, I 0:16:17.160 --> 0:16:19.400 know something about the cracks, and it doesn't happen in 0:16:19.440 --> 0:16:19.960 his case. 0:16:20.200 --> 0:16:21.920 I didn't know you were a fifty fan. 0:16:22.040 --> 0:16:22.240 Man. 0:16:22.440 --> 0:16:25.080 Now you wearing that G unit tank top makes so 0:16:25.240 --> 0:16:25.840 much sense. 0:16:26.760 --> 0:16:38.920 I get it now, dude, dude, dude, but I do. 0:16:40.080 --> 0:16:42.680 Hey, Arnold, why are you out at the loading dock? 0:16:43.360 --> 0:16:43.760 Mmmm? 0:16:43.840 --> 0:16:46.720 Oh yeah, we were just having a little smoke break altogether. 0:16:47.240 --> 0:16:50.560 Well, y'all can enjoy that, Arnold. What you're doing in here, man, 0:16:50.600 --> 0:16:52.920 You gotta see this. I brought a pre roll joint 0:16:52.960 --> 0:16:54.680 out there and Jerry smokes. 0:16:54.680 --> 0:16:55.560 So yeah, he. 0:16:55.640 --> 0:16:58.520 Keeps saying he's seeing colors. It's crazy. You've got to 0:16:58.520 --> 0:16:59.320 get out here, Arnold. 0:16:59.800 --> 0:17:02.760 Well that is for y'all to enjoy. I will see. 0:17:02.760 --> 0:17:04.440 I'll hear your stories about it. 0:17:04.560 --> 0:17:05.919 What are you in here? 0:17:06.720 --> 0:17:09.600 Well? I quit smoking. Thank you for asking. I was 0:17:09.960 --> 0:17:12.560 waiting for someone to bring it up. I quit smoking. 0:17:13.119 --> 0:17:17.200 Do Come on, man, are you what you like puffing? 0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:18.639 You said it, Arnold? 0:17:18.840 --> 0:17:20.879 You can't quit, honey. 0:17:20.920 --> 0:17:23.880 I can quit whenever I want to quit, seventeen damn times. 0:17:24.880 --> 0:17:27.760 Mm hmm, yeah, y'all. Look at this. I got nicotine 0:17:27.840 --> 0:17:30.959 patches covered me up from crotch to crown. I'm covered 0:17:30.960 --> 0:17:33.719 in nicotine patches. It's almost like an undersuit. 0:17:33.760 --> 0:17:34.400 You know what that's? 0:17:34.920 --> 0:17:37.240 This is how many boxes and nicotine patches? 0:17:37.320 --> 0:17:37.600 Is this? 0:17:37.680 --> 0:17:39.440 At least take the ones off your nipples. 0:17:39.600 --> 0:17:43.760 Those aren't nicotine patches. Those are electro cardiogram patches that 0:17:43.840 --> 0:17:47.440 I keep on there. I don't need y'all. Wherever y'all 0:17:47.480 --> 0:17:49.320 are is where I'm not gonna be. You're gonna be 0:17:49.359 --> 0:17:52.439 teen building out there doing your corporate bullshit, puffing on 0:17:52.480 --> 0:17:55.399 your cigarettes. I'll be here by myself. 0:17:55.760 --> 0:17:58.200 All right. I tried I'm out of here. I'm gonna 0:17:58.200 --> 0:18:00.159 go look at Timbo for a few more minutes and 0:18:00.200 --> 0:18:02.000 have a smoke. Robert, you want to come with? 0:18:02.440 --> 0:18:04.080 Yeah, I think I got it a little time before 0:18:04.080 --> 0:18:05.240 I got to be back on the clock. 0:18:05.320 --> 0:18:06.400 At least enough for one more. 0:18:06.600 --> 0:18:07.040 I'll come. 0:18:08.920 --> 0:18:13.720 Mm mm hmmm mmmm mmm. Look at them ruining their lives. 0:18:15.200 --> 0:18:17.400 Hey, what's up, Arnold? I'm going man? 0:18:17.760 --> 0:18:20.960 I thought I had the room to myself for a second. Hello, Jerry, 0:18:21.240 --> 0:18:22.160 Well you do have. 0:18:22.080 --> 0:18:24.719 It to yourself, because I am not anybody? 0:18:24.800 --> 0:18:25.119 Really? 0:18:25.200 --> 0:18:28.000 Am I? Am I someone to you? Or am I 0:18:28.040 --> 0:18:29.280 someone even to myself? 0:18:29.400 --> 0:18:31.720 Oh? What the fuck? Very few people. 0:18:31.440 --> 0:18:35.119 Can decide who they am if you think about it, 0:18:35.720 --> 0:18:39.960 because there's too many ways to look at it. 0:18:40.280 --> 0:18:41.160