Speaker 1: You know, dating me is like a frightening alternative sport
Speaker 1: because it's fun, it's action packed, it's never boring. It's risky,
Speaker 1: it's adventurous. It's high risk, high reward. But I'm freaking fun.
Speaker 1: I'm alive, okay. So one of my biggest mistakes is
Speaker 1: people are attracted to how alive I am, so they'll
Speaker 1: suck my energy because they're attracted to how alive I
Speaker 1: am because of how dead they are. And I sometimes
Speaker 1: confuse dead with like conservative and solid and will be
Speaker 1: trusting and will take care of me, or be like
Speaker 1: a good you know, somebody good, like a good rock,
Speaker 1: when I don't need a dead tree stump. Because what
Speaker 1: happens is negative energy pulls harder than positive. And so
Speaker 1: if you've got someone sucking the life out of you
Speaker 1: and dimming your light with negative energy, it's going to
Speaker 1: pull away your positive they're taking your positive energy. You're
Speaker 1: becoming more negative. You're a little dead, You're end something,
Speaker 1: a bad job, a bad relationship, a bad dynamic, a
Speaker 1: bad family dynamic. And people around you say you look different,
Speaker 1: you look lighter. That's happened to me for sure. The
Speaker 1: people when I've left a relationship they've been months later, Like,
Speaker 1: I just want to tell you something. You don't look
Speaker 1: like the same person, and you just seem different. Even
Speaker 1: if you're sad about a breakup. You could be sad
Speaker 1: and like have regrets, but your body and the way
Speaker 1: you look and the way people see you in the
Speaker 1: way you're acting will reflect where you are in your life.
Speaker 1: And that energy thing is real. You know, opposites attract
Speaker 1: in ways, but you have to still have a compatibility
Speaker 1: and a synergy that works where it's not depleting you.
Speaker 1: Because one person will charge their battery off the other
Speaker 1: person because they're taken everything from them to try to
Speaker 1: lift themselves up, and the person with the full battery
Speaker 1: theirs goes on empty. Very very common, and the tendulum
Speaker 1: is something that happens when you've been a negative experience
Speaker 1: in a relationship that didn't work for you. It could
Speaker 1: be something where somebody is like, very it's too much action,
Speaker 1: it's too much activation. You feel like you know, you
Speaker 1: feel like you're over your skis. Then in the next relationship,
Speaker 1: you're going to be attracted to a mummy. That doesn't
Speaker 1: mean that ultimately you're supposed to be with the mummy.
Speaker 1: It means you're reacting to all the sugar you ate.
Speaker 1: Now you want protein, Like, let's get a baseline where
Speaker 1: you have a balanced diet. So you need to be
Speaker 1: alone after a certain type of breakup or find your
Speaker 1: awareness to figure out what you really want at the
Speaker 1: core of who you are versus the pendulum swinging from
Speaker 1: one thing to the other. So just because you're with
Speaker 1: someone who is verbally abusive, you know, doesn't mean you
Speaker 1: need to be with someone who's kissing your ass. You
Speaker 1: could be with someone who's neither verbally abusive or kissing
Speaker 1: your ass. So you have to find that balance when
Speaker 1: the pendulum swings. You can be turned off by someone's pets,
Speaker 1: like you can be turned off by someone's pets, and
Speaker 1: you can be turned off by someone's children full on.
Speaker 1: I've met people and I'm with it when i meet
Speaker 1: their children. I've met like really pretentious children and I've
Speaker 1: been like, I'll throw down with this child.
Speaker 2: And I've met people who have like slobbery, disgusting dogs.
Speaker 1: It's even bed with them that are dirty, and like
Speaker 1: I'm like, I can't, no, I can't do it. This
Speaker 1: guy is gonna make out with his dog he's obsessed
Speaker 1: with his animal and I can't do it. Or just
Speaker 1: someone into birds, you're not into birds or cats, or
Speaker 1: you don't like dogs, or and I don't trust anybody
Speaker 1: who doesn't like dogs.
Speaker 2: A guy who was in my house is like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't love dogs, and they often like hide it
Speaker 1: with like the allergy, but I don't really always believe it.
Speaker 2: There are people allergic to dogs.
Speaker 1: But I've heard people like who I could tell just
Speaker 1: aren't dog people. They don't like dogs. And I don't
Speaker 1: like people that don't like dogs. I don't trust people
Speaker 1: who don't like dogs. I might not even trust people
Speaker 1: who don't like chocolate, but that's another story. Shirtless profile
Speaker 1: pigs are cringe. Too many labels are cringe. Holding a
Speaker 1: fish in multiple pictures is cringe. Having your child with
Speaker 1: a smiley face emoji over their face is cringe. Posing
Speaker 1: the picture with a woman. It could be your sister,
Speaker 1: your daughter, your teacher, your your nun.
Speaker 2: Bizarre.
Speaker 1: We don't need a woman in the picture. It's distracted. Wen,
Speaker 1: we could you're big your big boy. Hopefully you have
Speaker 1: an Android or an Apple phone. Take a picture of yourself, bro,
Speaker 1: It's okay. Weirdos, and we don't need every picture to
Speaker 1: be the gym. We get you work out. We're good,
Speaker 1: but thank you, we're happy. It's not your whole personality
Speaker 1: that you like eat freaking a protein shake or like
Speaker 1: lean chicken breasts and egg whites every day. We're good,
Speaker 1: Like you can have an identity that's not finished. Everyone's like,
Speaker 1: I like to really maintain a healthy lifestyle.
Speaker 2: Okay, no kidding.
Speaker 1: I wasn't going for someone who was gonna be smoking
Speaker 1: six packs of cigarettes and doing heroin. Like it's okay,
Speaker 1: I don't have to like, phitness is not an entire personality,
Speaker 1: it's what It's a thing that you do. Oh, I'm
Speaker 1: drinking water. Should we put that on my dating profile?
Speaker 1: I like to hydrate from times time. It's weird and
Speaker 1: it means you're boring because your identity is wor looking out,
Speaker 1: love to work out, good fucking go do it to
Speaker 1: my business.
Speaker 2: I like to bathe. I'm not putting out of my
Speaker 2: dating profile. Whack jobs.
Speaker 1: Also look at someone's background in their picture, like I'll
Speaker 1: see a leather sofa and run like I'm being chased.
Speaker 1: I'll see cabinetry and I kind of get the sense
Speaker 1: that it's their kitchen, it's not someone else's kitchen. I'll
Speaker 1: see ugly outdoor furniture. I'll be like, I can't go
Speaker 1: in there. I can't go in there. I'll drudge on
Speaker 1: the first day. I mean, we're not even to shoes yet.
Speaker 1: But like I see a leather couch or ugly furniture,
Speaker 1: or like really hideous cabinetry, and you could say, yes,
Speaker 1: you could go change that.
Speaker 2: Any of this you could change.
Speaker 1: I'm not looking for a renovation project in a relationship
Speaker 1: with a man or his cabinets.
Speaker 2: I'm really not. I'm really not.
Speaker 1: I'm looking for I don't want an IKEA dresser, I
Speaker 1: really don't. I'd like a restoration hardware adresser. I'd like
Speaker 1: it to be delivered and put together. It's already together,
Speaker 1: all the pieces are there. We could polish it, we
Speaker 1: could place it, we could work with it, we could
Speaker 1: put things around it. You know, it can fit into
Speaker 1: our decor lifestyle. But I'm a fucking looking to sit
Speaker 1: on the floor with some screws and some plyboard. I
Speaker 1: can tell you that right now. So if you see
Speaker 1: shitty cabinetry in the background and a couple of pictures
Speaker 1: and you've somehow discerned that that person has ugly and
Speaker 1: ugly house and you don't want to live there.
Speaker 2: You don't have to. You could swipe no.
Speaker 1: And if they're wearing a lot of things that you're
Speaker 1: not interested in, like their personal style, really like some
Speaker 1: people have like costumes and multiple pictures. It's giving Burning Man,
Speaker 1: we know you do psychedelics, and you're wearing like a
Speaker 1: headdress in one picture, and you know you're you're hanging
Speaker 1: out with the Dali Lama eating chia bowls, hanging off
Speaker 1: a mountain in another. We're not gonna vibe. So I'm
Speaker 1: not trying to change anybody. If I'm trying to change
Speaker 1: you in your profile picture, imagine what it's gonna be
Speaker 1: like in real life. So that's what I'm saying. I
Speaker 1: don't And I like when when someone made the creative
Speaker 1: choice to have a shirtless picture in their profile, it's
Speaker 1: not gonna work. If they decided to be wearing a
Speaker 1: kilt and a costume of Burning Man and another one
Speaker 1: were good, We're okay, you made that creative choice, which
Speaker 1: means we're not going to have a lot in common.
Speaker 1: Alcohol is just let's just put it this way. Let's
Speaker 1: say you meet someone you like, you have a good
Speaker 1: hot interest. If you drink and I mean more than
Speaker 1: like one and a half drinks, you're now becoming sloppy
Speaker 1: and messy, and you are up for a job. If
Speaker 1: you like this person, you're up for a job. And
Speaker 1: this person's interviewing other people just like you're interviewing other people.
Speaker 1: And if you're the sloppy mess, they're gonna give the
Speaker 1: job to someone who's not the slappy mess. So don't
Speaker 1: make stupid decisions. Okay, So you're up for a dating
Speaker 1: job position, as are they, and you want to act
Speaker 1: in a way that sets you up for success because
Speaker 1: you are competing with other candidates. That's the truth. You're
Speaker 1: competing with other candidates. So once you get the job,
Speaker 1: sometimes at fuck around you could have a bad day.
Speaker 1: You could get too drunk at the Christmas party. Once
Speaker 1: you get the job, everybody makes mistakes and as a
Speaker 1: bad day, But you don't want to shoot yourself on
Speaker 1: the foot before you even got the job. And being
Speaker 1: sloppy on a first date is an impression that is
Speaker 1: they'll always remember that, and that's why people do disagree
Speaker 1: with sleeping together on the first date.
Speaker 2: You have to make those choices for yourself.
Speaker 1: If the connection is so incredibly strong that it's disingenuous
Speaker 1: or inauthentic to not sleep with the person, then I
Speaker 1: guess and we've all made mistakes with giving someone too
Speaker 1: much of ourselves, But I would just think about it
Speaker 1: that way. You're being interviewed, just like you're interviewing someone,
Speaker 1: So put your best foot forward and let them know
Speaker 1: in your body language and your energy and your happiness
Speaker 1: and your entertainment and what you wore why you are
Speaker 1: the best person for the job if you want the job.
Speaker 2: Another thing you should know is what business titles mean.
Speaker 1: Now, this is good depending upon what age you're at,
Speaker 1: but like, what does a vice president mean? What does
Speaker 1: a manager mean? What does a director mean? What does
Speaker 1: an analyst mean?
Speaker 2: What does a VP mean?
Speaker 1: What does a VP at that company mean? How much
Speaker 1: money does that company make? What does that job like?
Speaker 1: Do they do charity? You kind of got to do
Speaker 1: a lot of research and understand where someone fits in.
Speaker 1: Is someone very corporate and do you do better with
Speaker 1: someone who's like an entrepreneur or more of a maverick,
Speaker 1: or an artist or a creative type or an alt type,
Speaker 1: you know, like you don't have to only.
Speaker 2: Stick to it.
Speaker 1: But if you're not attracted to someone who's going to
Speaker 1: be a little unkempt, you know, like in a little
Speaker 1: rock and roll, then you might not want the arts
Speaker 1: the artist type. And if you don't want someone who's
Speaker 1: a cog in the wheel, then you don't want the
Speaker 1: corporate type, no matter what their title is. Like, I
Speaker 1: don't do well with a corporate type that's been at
Speaker 1: the same place for thirty five years. And that means
Speaker 1: to me, even if he's really successful and at the top,
Speaker 1: he's kind of afraid to move. He's kind of afraid
Speaker 1: to go somewhere else. He's a little bit And I
Speaker 1: can't be with someone who's afraid. I gotta be with
Speaker 1: someone who's a maverick, a self starter, or an entrepreneur.
Speaker 2: So what about you.
Speaker 1: Do you like someone who's more of a rule follower
Speaker 1: and you know, has a safety net and the good
Speaker 1: four oh one k or do you like someone who's
Speaker 1: a little you know, takes chances, more of an entrepreneur,
Speaker 1: but you're not guaranteed what their lifestyle is going to be.
Speaker 1: You know, when people say I've been to seventy seven
Speaker 1: countries and I speak nineteen languages. Like I don't want that.
Speaker 1: I'm not interested in dating a vagabond, So like, if
Speaker 1: you want to travel all over the world at the backpack,
Speaker 1: that might be interesting to you. So really, get like
Speaker 1: granular about who you actually are, what you want.