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Speaker 1: You know, dating me is like a frightening alternative sport

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Speaker 1: because it's fun, it's action packed, it's never boring. It's risky,

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Speaker 1: it's adventurous. It's high risk, high reward. But I'm freaking fun.

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Speaker 1: I'm alive, okay. So one of my biggest mistakes is

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Speaker 1: people are attracted to how alive I am, so they'll

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Speaker 1: suck my energy because they're attracted to how alive I

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Speaker 1: am because of how dead they are. And I sometimes

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Speaker 1: confuse dead with like conservative and solid and will be

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Speaker 1: trusting and will take care of me, or be like

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Speaker 1: a good you know, somebody good, like a good rock,

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Speaker 1: when I don't need a dead tree stump. Because what

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Speaker 1: happens is negative energy pulls harder than positive. And so

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Speaker 1: if you've got someone sucking the life out of you

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Speaker 1: and dimming your light with negative energy, it's going to

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Speaker 1: pull away your positive they're taking your positive energy. You're

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Speaker 1: becoming more negative. You're a little dead, You're end something,

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Speaker 1: a bad job, a bad relationship, a bad dynamic, a

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Speaker 1: bad family dynamic. And people around you say you look different,

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Speaker 1: you look lighter. That's happened to me for sure. The

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Speaker 1: people when I've left a relationship they've been months later, Like,

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Speaker 1: I just want to tell you something. You don't look

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Speaker 1: like the same person, and you just seem different. Even

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Speaker 1: if you're sad about a breakup. You could be sad

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Speaker 1: and like have regrets, but your body and the way

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Speaker 1: you look and the way people see you in the

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Speaker 1: way you're acting will reflect where you are in your life.

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Speaker 1: And that energy thing is real. You know, opposites attract

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Speaker 1: in ways, but you have to still have a compatibility

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Speaker 1: and a synergy that works where it's not depleting you.

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Speaker 1: Because one person will charge their battery off the other

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Speaker 1: person because they're taken everything from them to try to

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Speaker 1: lift themselves up, and the person with the full battery

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Speaker 1: theirs goes on empty. Very very common, and the tendulum

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Speaker 1: is something that happens when you've been a negative experience

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Speaker 1: in a relationship that didn't work for you. It could

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Speaker 1: be something where somebody is like, very it's too much action,

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Speaker 1: it's too much activation. You feel like you know, you

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Speaker 1: feel like you're over your skis. Then in the next relationship,

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Speaker 1: you're going to be attracted to a mummy. That doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean that ultimately you're supposed to be with the mummy.

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Speaker 1: It means you're reacting to all the sugar you ate.

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Speaker 1: Now you want protein, Like, let's get a baseline where

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Speaker 1: you have a balanced diet. So you need to be

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Speaker 1: alone after a certain type of breakup or find your

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Speaker 1: awareness to figure out what you really want at the

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Speaker 1: core of who you are versus the pendulum swinging from

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Speaker 1: one thing to the other. So just because you're with

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Speaker 1: someone who is verbally abusive, you know, doesn't mean you

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Speaker 1: need to be with someone who's kissing your ass. You

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Speaker 1: could be with someone who's neither verbally abusive or kissing

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Speaker 1: your ass. So you have to find that balance when

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Speaker 1: the pendulum swings. You can be turned off by someone's pets,

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Speaker 1: like you can be turned off by someone's pets, and

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Speaker 1: you can be turned off by someone's children full on.

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Speaker 1: I've met people and I'm with it when i meet

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Speaker 1: their children. I've met like really pretentious children and I've

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Speaker 1: been like, I'll throw down with this child.

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Speaker 2: And I've met people who have like slobbery, disgusting dogs.

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Speaker 1: It's even bed with them that are dirty, and like

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I can't, no, I can't do it. This

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Speaker 1: guy is gonna make out with his dog he's obsessed

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Speaker 1: with his animal and I can't do it. Or just

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Speaker 1: someone into birds, you're not into birds or cats, or

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Speaker 1: you don't like dogs, or and I don't trust anybody

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Speaker 1: who doesn't like dogs.

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Speaker 2: A guy who was in my house is like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I don't.

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Speaker 1: I don't love dogs, and they often like hide it

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Speaker 1: with like the allergy, but I don't really always believe it.

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Speaker 2: There are people allergic to dogs.

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Speaker 1: But I've heard people like who I could tell just

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Speaker 1: aren't dog people. They don't like dogs. And I don't

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Speaker 1: like people that don't like dogs. I don't trust people

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Speaker 1: who don't like dogs. I might not even trust people

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Speaker 1: who don't like chocolate, but that's another story. Shirtless profile

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Speaker 1: pigs are cringe. Too many labels are cringe. Holding a

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Speaker 1: fish in multiple pictures is cringe. Having your child with

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Speaker 1: a smiley face emoji over their face is cringe. Posing

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Speaker 1: the picture with a woman. It could be your sister,

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Speaker 1: your daughter, your teacher, your your nun.

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Speaker 2: Bizarre.

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Speaker 1: We don't need a woman in the picture. It's distracted. Wen,

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Speaker 1: we could you're big your big boy. Hopefully you have

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Speaker 1: an Android or an Apple phone. Take a picture of yourself, bro,

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Speaker 1: It's okay. Weirdos, and we don't need every picture to

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Speaker 1: be the gym. We get you work out. We're good,

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Speaker 1: but thank you, we're happy. It's not your whole personality

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Speaker 1: that you like eat freaking a protein shake or like

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Speaker 1: lean chicken breasts and egg whites every day. We're good,

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Speaker 1: Like you can have an identity that's not finished. Everyone's like,

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Speaker 1: I like to really maintain a healthy lifestyle.

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Speaker 2: Okay, no kidding.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't going for someone who was gonna be smoking

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Speaker 1: six packs of cigarettes and doing heroin. Like it's okay,

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Speaker 1: I don't have to like, phitness is not an entire personality,

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Speaker 1: it's what It's a thing that you do. Oh, I'm

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Speaker 1: drinking water. Should we put that on my dating profile?

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Speaker 1: I like to hydrate from times time. It's weird and

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Speaker 1: it means you're boring because your identity is wor looking out,

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Speaker 1: love to work out, good fucking go do it to

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Speaker 1: my business.

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Speaker 2: I like to bathe. I'm not putting out of my

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Speaker 2: dating profile. Whack jobs.

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Speaker 1: Also look at someone's background in their picture, like I'll

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Speaker 1: see a leather sofa and run like I'm being chased.

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Speaker 1: I'll see cabinetry and I kind of get the sense

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Speaker 1: that it's their kitchen, it's not someone else's kitchen. I'll

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Speaker 1: see ugly outdoor furniture. I'll be like, I can't go

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Speaker 1: in there. I can't go in there. I'll drudge on

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Speaker 1: the first day. I mean, we're not even to shoes yet.

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Speaker 1: But like I see a leather couch or ugly furniture,

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Speaker 1: or like really hideous cabinetry, and you could say, yes,

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Speaker 1: you could go change that.

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Speaker 2: Any of this you could change.

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Speaker 1: I'm not looking for a renovation project in a relationship

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Speaker 1: with a man or his cabinets.

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Speaker 2: I'm really not. I'm really not.

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Speaker 1: I'm looking for I don't want an IKEA dresser, I

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Speaker 1: really don't. I'd like a restoration hardware adresser. I'd like

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Speaker 1: it to be delivered and put together. It's already together,

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Speaker 1: all the pieces are there. We could polish it, we

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Speaker 1: could place it, we could work with it, we could

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Speaker 1: put things around it. You know, it can fit into

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Speaker 1: our decor lifestyle. But I'm a fucking looking to sit

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Speaker 1: on the floor with some screws and some plyboard. I

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Speaker 1: can tell you that right now. So if you see

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Speaker 1: shitty cabinetry in the background and a couple of pictures

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Speaker 1: and you've somehow discerned that that person has ugly and

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Speaker 1: ugly house and you don't want to live there.

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Speaker 2: You don't have to. You could swipe no.

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Speaker 1: And if they're wearing a lot of things that you're

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Speaker 1: not interested in, like their personal style, really like some

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Speaker 1: people have like costumes and multiple pictures. It's giving Burning Man,

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Speaker 1: we know you do psychedelics, and you're wearing like a

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Speaker 1: headdress in one picture, and you know you're you're hanging

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Speaker 1: out with the Dali Lama eating chia bowls, hanging off

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Speaker 1: a mountain in another. We're not gonna vibe. So I'm

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Speaker 1: not trying to change anybody. If I'm trying to change

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Speaker 1: you in your profile picture, imagine what it's gonna be

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Speaker 1: like in real life. So that's what I'm saying. I

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Speaker 1: don't And I like when when someone made the creative

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Speaker 1: choice to have a shirtless picture in their profile, it's

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Speaker 1: not gonna work. If they decided to be wearing a

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Speaker 1: kilt and a costume of Burning Man and another one

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Speaker 1: were good, We're okay, you made that creative choice, which

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Speaker 1: means we're not going to have a lot in common.

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Speaker 1: Alcohol is just let's just put it this way. Let's

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Speaker 1: say you meet someone you like, you have a good

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Speaker 1: hot interest. If you drink and I mean more than

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Speaker 1: like one and a half drinks, you're now becoming sloppy

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Speaker 1: and messy, and you are up for a job. If

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Speaker 1: you like this person, you're up for a job. And

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Speaker 1: this person's interviewing other people just like you're interviewing other people.

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Speaker 1: And if you're the sloppy mess, they're gonna give the

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Speaker 1: job to someone who's not the slappy mess. So don't

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Speaker 1: make stupid decisions. Okay, So you're up for a dating

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Speaker 1: job position, as are they, and you want to act

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Speaker 1: in a way that sets you up for success because

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Speaker 1: you are competing with other candidates. That's the truth. You're

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Speaker 1: competing with other candidates. So once you get the job,

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Speaker 1: sometimes at fuck around you could have a bad day.

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Speaker 1: You could get too drunk at the Christmas party. Once

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Speaker 1: you get the job, everybody makes mistakes and as a

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Speaker 1: bad day, But you don't want to shoot yourself on

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Speaker 1: the foot before you even got the job. And being

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Speaker 1: sloppy on a first date is an impression that is

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Speaker 1: they'll always remember that, and that's why people do disagree

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Speaker 1: with sleeping together on the first date.

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Speaker 2: You have to make those choices for yourself.

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Speaker 1: If the connection is so incredibly strong that it's disingenuous

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Speaker 1: or inauthentic to not sleep with the person, then I

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Speaker 1: guess and we've all made mistakes with giving someone too

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Speaker 1: much of ourselves, But I would just think about it

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Speaker 1: that way. You're being interviewed, just like you're interviewing someone,

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Speaker 1: So put your best foot forward and let them know

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Speaker 1: in your body language and your energy and your happiness

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Speaker 1: and your entertainment and what you wore why you are

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Speaker 1: the best person for the job if you want the job.

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Speaker 2: Another thing you should know is what business titles mean.

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Speaker 1: Now, this is good depending upon what age you're at,

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Speaker 1: but like, what does a vice president mean? What does

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Speaker 1: a manager mean? What does a director mean? What does

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Speaker 1: an analyst mean?

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Speaker 2: What does a VP mean?

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Speaker 1: What does a VP at that company mean? How much

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Speaker 1: money does that company make? What does that job like?

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Speaker 1: Do they do charity? You kind of got to do

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Speaker 1: a lot of research and understand where someone fits in.

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Speaker 1: Is someone very corporate and do you do better with

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Speaker 1: someone who's like an entrepreneur or more of a maverick,

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Speaker 1: or an artist or a creative type or an alt type,

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Speaker 1: you know, like you don't have to only.

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Speaker 2: Stick to it.

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Speaker 1: But if you're not attracted to someone who's going to

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Speaker 1: be a little unkempt, you know, like in a little

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Speaker 1: rock and roll, then you might not want the arts

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Speaker 1: the artist type. And if you don't want someone who's

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Speaker 1: a cog in the wheel, then you don't want the

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Speaker 1: corporate type, no matter what their title is. Like, I

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Speaker 1: don't do well with a corporate type that's been at

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Speaker 1: the same place for thirty five years. And that means

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Speaker 1: to me, even if he's really successful and at the top,

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Speaker 1: he's kind of afraid to move. He's kind of afraid

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Speaker 1: to go somewhere else. He's a little bit And I

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Speaker 1: can't be with someone who's afraid. I gotta be with

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Speaker 1: someone who's a maverick, a self starter, or an entrepreneur.

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Speaker 2: So what about you.

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Speaker 1: Do you like someone who's more of a rule follower

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Speaker 1: and you know, has a safety net and the good

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Speaker 1: four oh one k or do you like someone who's

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Speaker 1: a little you know, takes chances, more of an entrepreneur,

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Speaker 1: but you're not guaranteed what their lifestyle is going to be.

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Speaker 1: You know, when people say I've been to seventy seven

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Speaker 1: countries and I speak nineteen languages. Like I don't want that.

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Speaker 1: I'm not interested in dating a vagabond, So like, if

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Speaker 1: you want to travel all over the world at the backpack,

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Speaker 1: that might be interesting to you. So really, get like

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Speaker 1: granular about who you actually are, what you want.