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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcasts.

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Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is this foundation needs a little support

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Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes and we'll

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Speaker 1: get into the episode.

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Speaker 3: My co worker said, I'm setting stereotypes because I said

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Speaker 3: our orange cat was dumb.

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Speaker 4: How dare you speak ill of the feline the story.

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Speaker 3: We have two workplace cats in one area of our

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Speaker 3: work site. They add value to the work site. We

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Speaker 3: all love the cats and the work site cat presence

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Speaker 3: is not the issue. One of the cats, Gene, is

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Speaker 3: a tortoiseshell cat we have had for years. The other cats, Jeorts,

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Speaker 3: is a large orange cat and a recent edition. By

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Speaker 3: the way, this comes from Throwaway Orange Cat. And if

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Speaker 3: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

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Speaker 3: r slash Okay storage Time Suppurated.

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Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota.

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Speaker 3: I'm Carly, and we're here to give good advice goof Lee.

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Speaker 3: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

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Speaker 3: what we do, so let us know what you would

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Speaker 3: do in the comments. Geors is just kind of a

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Speaker 3: simple guy for example, Georts can't open a door even

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Speaker 3: when it's a jar. He shoves it whether he's going

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Speaker 3: in or out, so often he closes the door he's

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Speaker 3: trying to go through. This means he's often trapped inside

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Speaker 3: the place he was trying to exit and me ow's

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Speaker 3: until he's rescued. My colleague Pam has been spending a

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Speaker 3: lot of time trying to teach Georts things. The door

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Speaker 3: thing is the main example. It's a real issue because

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Speaker 3: the cats are fed in a closet and Georts keeps

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Speaker 3: pushing the door closed. Jeane can actually open all the

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Speaker 3: other interior doors since they are a lever type knob,

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Speaker 3: but she can't open this particular door if she's trapped

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Speaker 3: inside the closet. Torty Jean is very nice to pour

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Speaker 3: orange Jorts, and she's kept busy letting him out of

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Speaker 3: rooms he has trapped himself in, So this seems easy

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Speaker 3: to resolve. I put down a doorstop. Pam then said

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Speaker 3: I was depriving Jorts of the chance to learn.

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Speaker 5: Shut up moving the doorstop.

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Speaker 3: She's set up a series of special learning activities for

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Speaker 3: Jorts and tried to put these tasks on the whiteboard

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Speaker 3: of daily team tasks, I erased them. She thinks we

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Speaker 3: need to teach him how to clean himself better and

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Speaker 3: how to get out of minor barriers, like when he

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Speaker 3: gets a cup stuck on his head, etc. I love Doorts,

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Speaker 3: but he's just dumb and we can't change that.

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Speaker 5: Don't get me wrong.

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Speaker 3: Watching her try to teach Doorts how to walk through

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Speaker 3: a door is hilarious. But Jean got locked in the

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Speaker 3: closet twice last week. Yesterday I installed the cat cut

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Speaker 3: out thing in the door, and Pam started getting really ufy.

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Speaker 5: I made a.

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Speaker 3: Gentle joke about you can't expect Jean's tortoiseshell smarts from

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Speaker 3: orange cat jorts, which made Pam furious. She started crying

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Speaker 3: and left the hallway, then sent an email to the

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Speaker 3: group including volunteers, and went home early. In her email,

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Speaker 3: Pam said I was perpetuating ethnic stereotypes by saying orange

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Speaker 3: cats are dumb and is demanding a racial sensitivity training

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Speaker 3: before she will return.

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Speaker 5: I don't think it's relevant, but just.

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Speaker 3: In case, Pam is a white person in a mostly

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Speaker 3: minority staff, and no, she's not ginger. Thanks for responding

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Speaker 3: to my query, which had truly upset me. I worked

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Speaker 3: to have a good relationship with my team, and the

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Speaker 3: situation had gotten weird so gradually that I lost perspective.

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Speaker 4: Who's the person that is able to tell Pam, Hey, no,

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Speaker 4: that's you can't you can't do that. You can't actually

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Speaker 4: have a personal day because we installed cat doors. You

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Speaker 4: actually can't just leave work because you're like a distraught

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Speaker 4: over the cat doors.

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Speaker 3: I just met with HR. She had already met with Pam.

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Speaker 3: HR was concerned about Pam's comparing ethnic stereotypes with giving

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Speaker 3: a cat a doorstop, and they addressed that, which went well.

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Speaker 3: HR will follow up to make sure Pam understands the

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Speaker 3: replies to my query were helpful to me for this discussion.

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Speaker 3: HR also as dressed Pam assigning other staff georts related tutoring,

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Speaker 3: as it's not appropriate for Pam to assign others' work.

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Speaker 3: This also went well. We both think Pam had a

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Speaker 3: hard time with the transition from volunteer to staff and

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Speaker 3: may have new kids sensitivity projected to jeorts. Pam got

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Speaker 3: emotional about her perception that I favored gene over georts.

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Speaker 3: Gave specific examples. Some of these things are fair. Georts

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Speaker 3: deserves respect as a member of our teeth. There are

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Speaker 3: three buildings in our workplace. Jean and Jeorts are limited

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Speaker 3: to one. Hr told me there were five holdouts about

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Speaker 3: vaccines and restricting unvaccinated people from entering the building. To

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Speaker 3: protect Jean and Jorts was enough to win over four

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Speaker 3: of them. That's crazy but great. The cat's presence greatly

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Speaker 3: enhances our work with our clients, and Georts's friendly nature

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Speaker 3: has been so great. Both cats truly are doing important work. Truly,

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Speaker 3: Georts deserves to be treated with respect. We all deserve

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Speaker 3: to be treated with dignity at work. So I will

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Speaker 3: apologize to Jeorts about some things that were insensitive or disrespectful.

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Speaker 3: I think Apiece being sarcastic. Gene has a nice cat

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Speaker 3: bed with her name on it, while Georts has chosen

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Speaker 3: an old boot tray in my office with the talent it. Recently,

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Speaker 3: a visitor put wet boots in the butt tray and

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Speaker 3: Pam saw Georts sleeping on the wet boots. I bought

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Speaker 3: a bed for George today and a name tag has

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Speaker 3: been ordered b I will apologize to Geort's and remove

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Speaker 3: the sign saying days since Geort's had a trash can

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Speaker 3: this hap zero. Georts likes to fish dirty paper cups out,

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Speaker 3: and he often falls into the bin or it gets

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Speaker 3: a cup stuck on his head. He's able to get

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Speaker 3: out of the bin by tipping it over, so it

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Speaker 3: isn't a safety issue. Jeene's staff bio is a photo

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Speaker 3: of Gene well. Geort's bio is a photo of a

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Speaker 3: sweet potato.

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Speaker 2: This is all perfectly.

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Speaker 4: Fine and normal behavior, and Pam sounds like the least

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Speaker 4: fun person.

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Speaker 5: He sounds a good nightmare.

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Speaker 3: Hr also suggested changing Pam's duties so she's in charge

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Speaker 3: of the cats.

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Speaker 5: This I refused.

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Speaker 3: The cats are my staff, not Pam's. I think Pam

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Speaker 3: was well intended, but actually not meeting the needs of

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Speaker 3: either Gene or Georts, so.

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Speaker 5: They remain under my supervision.

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Speaker 3: Pam was also not to put cups on Geort's head

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Speaker 3: or intentionally put him into frustrating situations given his unique needs. Lastly,

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Speaker 3: and this made us both laugh so hard we can't

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Speaker 3: deal with it in person and will be said via email.

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Speaker 3: Pam admits that she's been putting marjarine on Jeorts in

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Speaker 3: an attempt to teach him to groom himself better. This

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Speaker 3: may explain the diarrhea problem Jean developed, which required a

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Speaker 3: vet visit.

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Speaker 2: Did we need to bring Pam back? Yeah? Could we

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Speaker 2: have actually? Just oh, Pam happy unemployment? Ah.

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Speaker 3: Pam is not to apply Margarine to any of her coworkers.

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Speaker 3: Gene is shown she is willing to be in charge

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Speaker 3: of helping Georts stay clean.

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Speaker 5: If this task.

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Speaker 3: Becomes onerous for Gene, we can have a groomer help.

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Speaker 3: I'm crying, laughing, typing this. I can't believe she freaking

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Speaker 3: buttered Jorts. I got increasingly nervous about Pam, and HR

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Speaker 3: decided we had to have.

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Speaker 5: A team meeting.

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Speaker 3: First of all, the world is not sick of Jorts

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Speaker 3: and Gene, but HR sure is sick of me. Pam

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Speaker 3: is pretty offline so had not heard.

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Speaker 5: Of any of it.

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Speaker 3: We selected a variety of fan art and some of

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Speaker 3: the nicer comments to show Pam and it went fine.

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Speaker 3: We were all very sternly reminded of our stringent work

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Speaker 3: site privacy policies. Pam wanted to send a letter to

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Speaker 3: the Jorts and Gene fan website, and legal counsel redacted

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Speaker 3: the letter, which is here. The absolute disgust from legal

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Speaker 3: counsel was palpable.

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Speaker 4: We have legal counsel involved in the Jorts and Jean's debacle.

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Speaker 5: Oh no, no, no no.

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Speaker 3: I think that they showed, like OP showed Pam some

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Speaker 3: of the fan art and comments about the cats from the.

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Speaker 4: Reddit, and then because they were talking about this, now

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Speaker 4: legal is like, this is proprietary information needs. I think

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Speaker 4: that I need to know where are the reality show

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Speaker 4: cameras for this place.

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Speaker 2: If there was ever a work site that needed to

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Speaker 2: be documented, it'd be this.

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Speaker 3: Pam is glad our little cats have so many new friends.

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Speaker 3: Legal counsel told me to knock it off with all

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Speaker 3: this ps. Someone gave Jorts a pipe cleaner, big relief

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Speaker 3: overall because I did not want to hurt Pam's feelings.

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Speaker 3: Not to mention, I really thought I might get fired

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Speaker 3: because I doubled down so much on Jorts and Gene content.

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Speaker 5: I regret nothing.

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Speaker 3: Literally right now, I can hear someone playing the Jorts

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Speaker 3: and Jean Sea shanty somewhere in the building. There is

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Speaker 3: a third update three years later. It's been three years

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Speaker 3: and Georts has kept as busy, keeps people posted on

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Speaker 3: his own social media. He types his own tweets with

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Speaker 3: his toebeans on the bird app at first, now mostly

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Speaker 3: on Blue Sky. He's still a real orange orange Jorts.

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Speaker 3: He has a lot of thoughts about working people and

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Speaker 3: working cats and as an active, if not traditional labor activist.

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Speaker 3: Nice contributed to this in the Times feature, which is

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Speaker 3: also a fun read. Happy cake Day, Jeorts and Jeans,

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Speaker 3: thanks for all the laughs that started right here on

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Speaker 3: the website. From the first image posted in the r

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Speaker 3: slash cat's entry. Final diagnosis six hundred and eighty seven

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Speaker 3: dollars later, georgs is a healthy, newtered adult dsh. He

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Speaker 3: is peeing in the sink when someone else is in

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Speaker 3: the bathroom because he wants to feel included.

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Speaker 2: Behavior that's gross, but hey, thanks.

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Speaker 3: George, Thanks Jeorts loved good all.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, and we have a picture sure of dear George.

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Speaker 6: Oh my god, not only that, I found Jorts and

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Speaker 6: Jean's Instagram.

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Speaker 3: Stop stop it, stop it right now they have one.

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Speaker 6: Out curious literally just Jeorts and Jean, stop it.

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Speaker 2: Stub it is so he's got hey, he does have

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Speaker 2: human hands.

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Speaker 5: Look at it, giant hands.

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Speaker 2: He's got actual giant human hands.

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Speaker 5: Stupid genus beat.

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Speaker 2: Cookie made of cookie butter.

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Speaker 5: So beautiful, so beautiful.

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Speaker 4: I could figure out the short Hair probably didn't know

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Speaker 4: that the D stands for domestic. I want to f

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Speaker 4: s h far short Hair had Oh my goodness, times

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Speaker 4: in the Times, Times, the Times of New York in

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Speaker 4: the No Way, No Way, he had a whole article.

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Speaker 7: But folks, and look at.

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Speaker 2: You, Pam, Pam.

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Speaker 4: You wanted George to stop flying. You want to George

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Speaker 4: not who he was.

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Speaker 3: But we've got enough story, folks, And I'm gonna pass

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Speaker 3: it over to do Dakota.

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Speaker 5: Oh wait, I passed my mic over to you.

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Speaker 2: You don't.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I was like, what in tarnation or you doing

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Speaker 5: over there?

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Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

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Speaker 2: on to the next one.

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Speaker 4: I refused to watch other kids even though I'm a nanny.

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Speaker 7: Those kids suck.

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Speaker 2: I fifty six female.

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Speaker 4: I've been in nanny to a couple we'll call them

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Speaker 4: Jenna twenty nine female and Mitchell thirty two male, for

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Speaker 4: a few years now. They've been great people, and I

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Speaker 4: also like the pay since they're fairly wealthy.

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Speaker 2: They give me a big sum. And I also love

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Speaker 2: their kids.

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Speaker 4: They have a boy four and a girl five who

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Speaker 4: are really sweet and I look forward to seeing them.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Nanny on the Loose.

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Speaker 5: You want to.

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Speaker 4: Submit your own stories, go to the ur slash Showcase

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Speaker 4: Storytime suburnd It. I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia, I'm Karly, and

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Speaker 4: we're here to give you a good advice goofy, but

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Speaker 4: we don't have all the answers we wish we did.

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Speaker 2: But we're just a bunch of goofballs.

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Speaker 4: We only know what we would do, So if you

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Speaker 4: would do something else, don't you just let us know

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Speaker 4: in the comments. Onto the problem, Jenna and Mitchell decide

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Speaker 4: to host a potty at a restaurant they lived close to.

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Speaker 4: No problem for me. I'll watch their kids like usual

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Speaker 4: while they have their fun. They're giving me the rundown

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Speaker 4: on things like the usual. But then something odd, they said,

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Speaker 4: and make sure the kids are ready to be picked

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Speaker 4: up by nine to thirty pm. I thought this was strange,

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Speaker 4: but decided to push it to the back of my mind,

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Speaker 4: as they never said previously anything about any other kids

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Speaker 4: and only said that one statement.

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Speaker 2: Maybe it was just a slip up. About twenty minutes.

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Speaker 4: Go by and Mitchell and Jenna's friends come over to

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Speaker 4: pick them up. I'm assuming, so I go over to

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Speaker 4: meet their friends, and their friends brought all their kids.

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Speaker 2: For me to babysit. WHOA there was at these seven

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Speaker 2: kids I saw?

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Speaker 4: I pulled Jenna aside and asked her why their friends

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Speaker 4: expected me to babysit their kids and to just get

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Speaker 4: someone else to babysit them, as I only.

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Speaker 2: Agreed to babysit her kids.

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Speaker 4: She seemed taken aback and said she thought I wouldn't

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Speaker 4: mind since I don't do anything.

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Speaker 2: Else with my time anyway.

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Speaker 4: WHOA, my husband has passed away eleven years years ago,

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Speaker 4: so I'm always by myself at home now, which was true,

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Speaker 4: but this was never part of the agreement. Apparently all

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Speaker 4: her friends were busy and couldn't come to the party

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Speaker 4: because of their kids, and to save money and time,

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Speaker 4: Jenna just offered to dump all their kids at her

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Speaker 4: place for me to watch. I got angry and said,

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Speaker 4: unless she's willing to pay me seven times the amount

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Speaker 4: of money she pays me now, there's no way I'm

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Speaker 4: watching nine nays for the amount of time that they're gone,

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Speaker 4: which is eight hours, and that I wouldn't be able

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Speaker 4: to handle it. Her face changed from confused to frustrate

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Speaker 4: it and said I should be lucky I'm their nanny

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Speaker 4: at all, with the amount of money I'm paid, and

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Speaker 4: to be grateful and do this one thing as it's

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Speaker 4: just one night.

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Speaker 2: She just wants to treat her friends to a nice dinner.

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Speaker 3: No, I would, Yeah, I would. Oh my goodness, I

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Speaker 3: would quit. I'd be like, hey, sorry, No, and you.

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Speaker 4: Knew what you were doing because you didn't discuss this

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Speaker 4: with me at all. Are you really do you really

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Speaker 4: not understand it? Yeah, I'm not in entire daycare.

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Speaker 8: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: It is really hard though, in like the nanny and

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Speaker 3: babysitting industry, because you want to end on good terms

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Speaker 3: with everyone because it is so word of mouth.

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Speaker 4: Well yeah, and you're getting paid a lot of money. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: So that people are definitely the kind of people who

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Speaker 4: would go, yeah, she's terrible. Yeah, after doing everything perfectly

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Speaker 4: fine forever.

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Speaker 7: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I was shocked and didn't say anything else and just

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Speaker 4: left their house. Mitchell later called me, cussing me out

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Speaker 4: and saying how I humiliated them and embarrassed them with

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Speaker 4: my actions and how they had to cancel everything last

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Speaker 4: minute because of everyone's kids, and I was a selfish,

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Speaker 4: stuck up, lazy witch for.

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Speaker 2: Not doing this one time thing.

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Speaker 4: I didn't say anything the whole way through until he

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Speaker 4: was done talking and just hung up.

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Speaker 2: And now I'm really wondering if I messed up here.

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Speaker 4: I really liked their kids and they were great people

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Speaker 4: before this incident.

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Speaker 2: Am I the A hole?

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Speaker 4: I mean like literally not at all, of course not.

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Speaker 4: I think you're just now worried, like did I lose

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Speaker 4: my money making?

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Speaker 2: Which is it?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: But yeah, I think you might have.

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Speaker 4: Well, you know, working this is if you had done this,

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Speaker 4: I don't think it would ever stop exactly.

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Speaker 5: That's the thing.

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Speaker 3: If you had shown them that they could but like

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Speaker 3: just throw seven kids on you, no extra pay, This

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Speaker 3: would not have been a one time thing.

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Speaker 4: We do have some comments from Slope Z six oh four,

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Speaker 4: not the a hole.

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Speaker 2: It's just business. You're following an established contract.

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Speaker 4: If they didn't want to be embarrassed, they should have

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Speaker 4: contacted you prior to renegotiate.

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Speaker 2: And by the sound of it, they don't pay you

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Speaker 2: enough to turn.

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Speaker 4: A blind eye to this once in order to just

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Speaker 4: retain the job. Failure to plan on your part does

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Speaker 4: not constitute an emergency on mine. Julia X nineteen eighty

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Speaker 4: four says this was no failure of planning. They deliberately

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Speaker 4: lied by omission to try to blindside her into accepting

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Speaker 4: four and a half times as much work without extra pay.

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Speaker 2: Of course, not the a hole.

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Speaker 4: Those were not the terms you agreed to, and they

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Speaker 4: know it. Opi replies, Yes, And they didn't say anything

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Speaker 4: about hosting a party until that day, so they already

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Speaker 4: set up everything prior to talking to me about babysitting

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Speaker 4: their kids. My guess is they wanted to already be

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Speaker 4: too far into it and didn't tell me about anything,

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Speaker 4: so it would be too late for me to back out.

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Speaker 4: Unfortunately for them, I have two legs and I can

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Speaker 4: walk myself out of their lives.

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Speaker 2: As Jay Barbarian says, they see her as an appliance,

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Speaker 2: not a person.

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Speaker 4: The child watching machine is acting like it has rights.

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Speaker 2: Opie replies, I didn't even think of it like that.

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Speaker 2: Good point. Wealthy people do have a history of taking

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Speaker 2: advantage of others. I am so confused.

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Speaker 4: This is a party at a restaurant that lasts eight hours,

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Speaker 4: then it ends before nine thirty pm, so it starts

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Speaker 4: at two pm, and then they had to cancel everything

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Speaker 4: because you wouldn't babysit. But they hadn't cleared the babysitting

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Speaker 4: all the children with you ahead of time.

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Speaker 2: That's just weird.

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Speaker 4: If the restaurant and food were booked for an eight

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Speaker 4: hour time period, probably on a weekend, which would include

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Speaker 4: prime business hours, then the lack of honesty and clarity

354
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Speaker 4: here is odd. That's too big a commitment and probably

355
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Speaker 4: a contract was involved to just collapse. Opie says, sorry

356
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Speaker 4: for the misunderstanding when they said they had to cancel.

357
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Speaker 4: They had to cancel for going and showing up with

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Speaker 4: something that close, and how they already booked everything prior.

359
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Speaker 4: They couldn't cancel the actual event and still pay for everything.

360
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Speaker 4: So not only did they lose a sitter, but they

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Speaker 4: lost a lot of money, says the same commenter. So

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Speaker 4: they booked this big party and didn't give any thought

363
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Speaker 4: to running the.

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Speaker 2: Number of children past you. You are not the a hole.

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Speaker 2: And there is an update.

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Speaker 4: I didn't expect to be posting an update so soon as

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Speaker 4: I thought they would both ghost me and we wouldn't

368
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Speaker 4: talk again and they would find another nanny.

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Speaker 2: I was wrong. Jenna called me this afternoon, hoping for

370
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Speaker 2: an apology. I picked up.

371
00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:22,640
Speaker 4: She tried to gilt trip me into babysitting for her

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Speaker 4: kids again, saying how there isn't another one like me,

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Speaker 4: and she didn't want a younger nanny because she didn't

374
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Speaker 4: want the kids latching onto her and calling her mom

375
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Speaker 4: if anything, wanted them to think of them as a grandma.

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Speaker 4: She then went on to say she was sorry and

377
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Speaker 4: she was wrong for doing what she did and wanted

378
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Speaker 4: me to come and be their nanny again. I let

379
00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:40,800
Speaker 4: her finish her after she was done talking, I said

380
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Speaker 4: I was sorry she was that insecure about babysitters her.

381
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Speaker 2: Age, and if she was that worried, she should.

382
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Speaker 4: Take her head out of her butt and focus on

383
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Speaker 4: her kids rather than her business.

384
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Speaker 2: Even though she doesn't respect my time and effort I do.

385
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Speaker 2: I told her good.

386
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Speaker 4: Luck finding another sitter and blocked her and Mitchell still

387
00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:02,440
Speaker 4: having a hard time finding a replacement, but at least

388
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Speaker 4: I'm free from the entitlement they showed. I most likely

389
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Speaker 4: would not have said all that and put my foot

390
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:10,000
Speaker 4: down if it wasn't for all the comments you guys gave,

391
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:13,160
Speaker 4: so thank you. Really downplayed myself worth as an annie

392
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Speaker 4: because I'm a caregiver for years, so the boost really helped.

393
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Speaker 2: And there are some more comments here. I am kind

394
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:20,360
Speaker 2: of mad you didn't play hardball though.

395
00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:23,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, but she's like, you know, I feel like she's

396
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Speaker 3: just not gonna put up with any nonsense.

397
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,639
Speaker 5: She's no nonsense lady. Yeah, but I don't want to

398
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:29,119
Speaker 5: deal with this.

399
00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:31,480
Speaker 2: I think of what you could have done.

400
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:34,200
Speaker 4: You could have hardballed and maybe like made a contract

401
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:37,240
Speaker 4: where say, say, there's you know, I don't know how

402
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:38,040
Speaker 4: contracts work.

403
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:39,760
Speaker 2: I don't know if they need to get notarized. I

404
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:41,880
Speaker 2: don't know what makes them legally binding exactly.

405
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,440
Speaker 4: You could work in a clause where it's like if

406
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:47,120
Speaker 4: they fire you, like then you'll get like a golden

407
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:50,720
Speaker 4: parachute essentially of like, you know, a.

408
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,480
Speaker 2: Year's worth of Nancy separate.

409
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:53,120
Speaker 7: Yeah.

410
00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:55,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're like, yeah, and whenever you fire me, you're

411
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:58,879
Speaker 4: gonna have to give me one hundred thousand dollars.

412
00:17:59,040 --> 00:17:59,520
Speaker 2: Comment one.

413
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:01,960
Speaker 4: If jenn and Mitchell can treat their friends to a party,

414
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,879
Speaker 4: they could certainly pay ope the fair waged babysit a

415
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:08,800
Speaker 4: gang of children and make the request in advance, rather

416
00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:12,199
Speaker 4: than act like entitled donkeys about it. Another example of

417
00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:15,000
Speaker 4: rich people who are cheap and banking on taking advantage

418
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,240
Speaker 4: of nice people who they think they can pressure into

419
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:20,840
Speaker 4: doing extraordinary favors for them. A reply says, with that

420
00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:22,879
Speaker 4: number of children, she would probably have wanted to get

421
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:26,399
Speaker 4: an assistant in two for safety. These people placed no

422
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:28,840
Speaker 4: value on her skills, or her time, or on their

423
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:31,840
Speaker 4: children's safety. Another reply, people that don't have to take

424
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,640
Speaker 4: care of children, let alone their own, definitely don't understand

425
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:37,160
Speaker 4: how quickly things can go wrong, especially with that many

426
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:39,920
Speaker 4: children and only one adult to supervise. Then when something

427
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,560
Speaker 4: did happen, they would blame her. Comment to says, I

428
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:46,040
Speaker 4: love Op's backbone. Reply Even with that attitude, it was

429
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:49,560
Speaker 4: exceptionally stupid. A great nanny is famously hard to find

430
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:52,480
Speaker 4: and keep. They had one. She liked them, and they

431
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:55,520
Speaker 4: liked her, and they threw it away over pettiness. It's

432
00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:57,439
Speaker 4: a good thing they're rich, or they'd never make it

433
00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:59,639
Speaker 4: in the real world. Comment three says bet, Yeah, they

434
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:03,600
Speaker 4: knew would refuse, so decided to ambusher as a well

435
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:04,920
Speaker 4: all since you're always here thing.

436
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,880
Speaker 2: The final comment just says, I knew that they would

437
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:11,440
Speaker 2: be crawling back to her the next day.

438
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:14,159
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's a there's a great I don't know what

439
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:17,840
Speaker 4: the show is, but there's some show where people travel

440
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:21,480
Speaker 4: back in time and they're talking to Manson Mousa and

441
00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:24,280
Speaker 4: they're like British or they're like English, and they go

442
00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:26,199
Speaker 4: back and they're talking about at that time, like the

443
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,440
Speaker 4: plague is over there and eure Rope to Manson Musers

444
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:32,200
Speaker 4: just like oh like ooh gross, Like you're from England,

445
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:34,520
Speaker 4: the place with the plague, like gross. And he's talking

446
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:36,800
Speaker 4: about the richest guy and he's talking about Jeff Bezos

447
00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:37,160
Speaker 4: and stuff.

448
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:37,679
Speaker 2: It's funny.

449
00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:40,640
Speaker 4: It's funny, but hey, you know, no one can know everything. Yeah,

450
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,720
Speaker 4: I was just, uh, where did I learn it? I

451
00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:44,080
Speaker 4: guess I learned that in high school.

452
00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:44,640
Speaker 2: Who was he?

453
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:46,600
Speaker 4: He was the king of I think it was a

454
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:51,080
Speaker 4: Northern African country or a Northern African kingdom, I can't remember.

455
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:54,280
Speaker 4: Maybe it was Molly, it was Molly was a big

456
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,199
Speaker 4: kingdom out there, I can't remember.

457
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:57,560
Speaker 2: I can't remember his kingdom.

458
00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:02,879
Speaker 4: But I'm going to going to decafe and then Carlito

459
00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:03,880
Speaker 4: is gonna come in.

460
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:06,120
Speaker 2: Here, and that's the end of this story. We're gonna

461
00:20:06,119 --> 00:20:07,200
Speaker 2: go on to the next one.

462
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:11,159
Speaker 3: I got fired from my dream job where I'm planning

463
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:12,000
Speaker 3: to get married.

464
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:13,359
Speaker 7: You're gonna get married at work.

465
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:18,760
Speaker 3: I worked in sales and membership at a nonprofit botanical garden.

466
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:22,400
Speaker 3: My former boss gave me a huge discount on having

467
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:25,440
Speaker 3: a ceremony at the garden in December. Our wedding date

468
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:29,080
Speaker 3: is December twenty first, twenty five. By the way, this

469
00:20:29,119 --> 00:20:31,840
Speaker 3: comes from, I'll be having that goblin And if you

470
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:33,960
Speaker 3: want to smit your own stories, go to the garslagh

471
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:37,320
Speaker 3: okay story typ severed it. I'm Sophia, I'm Carly, I'm Keon,

472
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:38,520
Speaker 3: and we're here to give good advice.

473
00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:40,320
Speaker 5: Goofy, but we don't have all the answers.

474
00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:42,199
Speaker 3: We only know what we'd do, So let's know what

475
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:45,040
Speaker 3: you would do in the comments, op says I worked

476
00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:48,480
Speaker 3: from home, mostly dealing with calls and virtual communications with

477
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,439
Speaker 3: members of the garden. I only go up to the

478
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:54,080
Speaker 3: office when necessary for meetings. On Tuesday, I got a

479
00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:58,280
Speaker 3: call to my personal phone from HR very weird. Usually

480
00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:00,639
Speaker 3: they just used teens, asking me to come up for

481
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:04,240
Speaker 3: a meeting on Wednesday afternoon. My only employee on my team,

482
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:06,959
Speaker 3: I was the team lead, but only had one employee,

483
00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:10,120
Speaker 3: was also called for a meeting right before mine. There

484
00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:12,920
Speaker 3: have been a lot of leadership changes switching around team

485
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:17,280
Speaker 3: members and restructuring in all administrative positions at the Garden

486
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,520
Speaker 3: in the last couple of years. I was in this

487
00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:23,000
Speaker 3: position for almost three years and went through having two

488
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:27,240
Speaker 3: different directors above me, two different vps, and one manager

489
00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:30,520
Speaker 3: coordinator after they decided that they'd rather split the director

490
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:34,400
Speaker 3: role into two positions. Unfortunately I saw this coming. I've

491
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:38,239
Speaker 3: been suspicious of every move management has made because I

492
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,800
Speaker 3: had a bad feeling they would eliminate my team. But

493
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:43,480
Speaker 3: every time I talked to my VP, she assured me

494
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:46,720
Speaker 3: that my job was secure and there were no plans

495
00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:49,480
Speaker 3: to eliminate us. She highlighted how important I am and

496
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:51,600
Speaker 3: how necessary it was for me to be able to

497
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:53,040
Speaker 3: train my new superiors.

498
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:55,080
Speaker 7: Big huge red flag.

499
00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:55,840
Speaker 5: Stupid.

500
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:59,159
Speaker 3: I've been frustrated with my management and the lack of

501
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,840
Speaker 3: communication between departments and a lot of the ins and

502
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:04,600
Speaker 3: outs of my job for a long while, but I

503
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:07,720
Speaker 3: was trying to hold out until the wedding was over

504
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:10,600
Speaker 3: and then I was going to look for other jobs. Well,

505
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:12,760
Speaker 3: on Wednesday, I went up to the Garden for my

506
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 3: meeting and the Leopards ate my face. They said they

507
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:18,879
Speaker 3: just don't have room in the budget to keep my

508
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:21,280
Speaker 3: team anymore. They said that this all came about on

509
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:24,440
Speaker 3: Monday and they're just so sorry. They offered me two

510
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:27,159
Speaker 3: weeks of severance. My boss told me that this doesn't

511
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:29,520
Speaker 3: have to change anything about my wedding. If I still

512
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:31,719
Speaker 3: want to have it there, I'll keep my discount and

513
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:34,719
Speaker 3: I'll still receive the same level of service her girls

514
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,320
Speaker 3: give every other couple. Through tears, I asked her if

515
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:39,320
Speaker 3: she would give me a refund if I decided I

516
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:41,320
Speaker 3: don't want to get married there anymore.

517
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:42,480
Speaker 5: She did say yes.

518
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:44,760
Speaker 3: I signed the release of claims while I was there.

519
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,679
Speaker 3: I was supposed to work through next Friday, October seventeenth.

520
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,280
Speaker 3: Yesterday morning, I emailed the head of HR and told

521
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 3: her I wanted to retract my signature on it. This

522
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:55,720
Speaker 3: got her attention, and she called me in response. My

523
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 3: goal was to negotiate the terms of my severance because

524
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:01,320
Speaker 3: after going home and thinking of it, only two weeks

525
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:04,840
Speaker 3: of severance felt ridiculous, especially because I wasn't going to

526
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:07,679
Speaker 3: get all of my PTO payout. The Employee Handbook states

527
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,880
Speaker 3: that employees who were there for one to two years

528
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:13,480
Speaker 3: get up to sixty hours of PTO payouts, while employees

529
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:15,520
Speaker 3: there for three to eight years get up to one

530
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:18,680
Speaker 3: hundred hours of PTO payout. My three year anniversary is.

531
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:19,800
Speaker 5: In two weeks.

532
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:23,600
Speaker 3: They absolutely fired you because of that one hundred percent.

533
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:27,359
Speaker 3: I had over sixty hours of PTO already approved for

534
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:29,959
Speaker 3: the last two weeks of the year for my wedding.

535
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:32,639
Speaker 3: I also had about forty hours in my bank. On

536
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:34,960
Speaker 3: this phone call with the head of HR, I asked

537
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 3: about getting my full PTO payout because I'm so close

538
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:38,760
Speaker 3: to my anniversary.

539
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:39,680
Speaker 5: I was told no.

540
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:43,360
Speaker 3: I asked about negotiating my insurance coverage. I'm chronically ill

541
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:46,640
Speaker 3: and cannot go without medication, and she said no. After

542
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:49,439
Speaker 3: a little while, I told her, it's absolutely ridiculous that

543
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:52,080
Speaker 3: they really can't do anything for me. The least they

544
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:53,800
Speaker 3: could have done was given me more than a week

545
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:56,000
Speaker 3: and a half of heads up, because I highly doubt

546
00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:58,440
Speaker 3: that this all just came about this week. I told

547
00:23:58,480 --> 00:23:59,919
Speaker 3: her that the way they've gone about all of this

548
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:03,479
Speaker 3: restructuring and letting people go is not at all in

549
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:06,800
Speaker 3: line with the Garden's mission statement, and that I appreciated

550
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:08,600
Speaker 3: her time, but I still had a job to do,

551
00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:10,320
Speaker 3: so I let her go. I told her I no

552
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:13,040
Speaker 3: longer wanted to attract my signature because I needed to

553
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:15,720
Speaker 3: make sure I still get my severance. I must have

554
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:18,600
Speaker 3: said something that scared her, because she called me back

555
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:21,040
Speaker 3: an hour later to tell me that she had worked

556
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:23,840
Speaker 3: something out so that I can have PTO for the

557
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,960
Speaker 3: rest of my employment, which is technically against the employee

558
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:29,119
Speaker 3: handbooks since I'm on notice. So I went on and

559
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:32,000
Speaker 3: turned in all of my equipment yesterday afternoon. My last

560
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,520
Speaker 3: official day will be next Friday. After that I could

561
00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:37,240
Speaker 3: apply for unemployment if I can even do that while

562
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:38,440
Speaker 3: the government is shut down.

563
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:39,040
Speaker 5: I'll get my.

564
00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:41,800
Speaker 3: Last paycheck with my sixty hours of PTO payout as

565
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:44,439
Speaker 3: well as my severance. So I guess this is the

566
00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:47,520
Speaker 3: best case scenario. My poor coworker has to work until

567
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:51,280
Speaker 3: next Friday. This is all so unfair to both of us.

568
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:53,359
Speaker 3: The wedding reception is at a different venue than the

569
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:55,800
Speaker 3: ceremony the garden that just let me go still better,

570
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:57,919
Speaker 3: I might be able to pay extra to the reception

571
00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:00,600
Speaker 3: venue to do the ceremony there as well. The ceremony

572
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,720
Speaker 3: space at the reception venue is more like a concrete box, though,

573
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:05,880
Speaker 3: and it really doesn't match my vision for the day.

574
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:07,440
Speaker 5: I worked for the garden.

575
00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:09,920
Speaker 3: Because I loved the garden, and I was so excited

576
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:12,000
Speaker 3: to get married there. I know my boss said that

577
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 3: this doesn't have to change anything, but obviously it does

578
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:17,320
Speaker 3: because I was only going to have the ceremony there.

579
00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:20,120
Speaker 3: There is no contingency plan for weather. We were going

580
00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:22,000
Speaker 3: to be able to work something out in the event

581
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:24,359
Speaker 3: of bad weather at the garden, but now I will

582
00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:26,560
Speaker 3: only be getting the bare minimum of what was in

583
00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 3: my ceremony contract. Thankfully, there was nothing in the contract

584
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:33,040
Speaker 3: that was contingent on my remaining employed with them, so

585
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,320
Speaker 3: it's not like I'll have to pay them tons more money.

586
00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:37,080
Speaker 3: But it does mean that if something out of the

587
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:40,639
Speaker 3: ordinary is needed, I won't get special treatment. Should I

588
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:43,200
Speaker 3: go ahead and ask my former boss for the refund

589
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:45,159
Speaker 3: and pay a little extra to have the ceremony at

590
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,679
Speaker 3: the reception space, or just hope for the best and

591
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:48,280
Speaker 3: still have the.

592
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:49,280
Speaker 5: Ceremony at the garden.

593
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:52,359
Speaker 3: I have already sent invitations to one hundred and fifty

594
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:55,800
Speaker 3: people saying that I'm getting married at this dang garden

595
00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:58,840
Speaker 3: on December twenty first. Of course, this also brings a

596
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:01,440
Speaker 3: ton more stress. Not only is there the ceremony to

597
00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:04,680
Speaker 3: worry about, we still have about ten k of payments

598
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:07,720
Speaker 3: and smaller things that need to be made or purchased

599
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:09,800
Speaker 3: for the wedding, and losing my income is going to

600
00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:12,240
Speaker 3: be very tough on us. My fiance is a teacher,

601
00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:14,560
Speaker 3: so we're not rolling in money. My parents are helping

602
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:17,440
Speaker 3: a small bit, but their financial situation isn't great either.

603
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 6: The biggest one is I'm trying to think of what

604
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:21,640
Speaker 6: to do about the whole like weather.

605
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:25,040
Speaker 7: Situation, because I feel like, if if there's.

606
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:29,040
Speaker 6: No forecast for rain, yeah, maybe risk it. But I'm

607
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 6: also like, if you're already getting the discount on using

608
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:35,720
Speaker 6: the outdoor space, like how much would it actually cost

609
00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:39,280
Speaker 6: just to have the indoor contingency space on hold?

610
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:42,200
Speaker 7: And if it'll give you some of mind.

611
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:44,200
Speaker 3: The place where they're having the guard, I don't think

612
00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:45,080
Speaker 3: it's out the garden though.

613
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:47,960
Speaker 7: The indoor space, it sounded to me like there was one.

614
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,200
Speaker 6: She just didn't get it in the package, so she'd

615
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 6: have to pay for it.

616
00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:53,320
Speaker 3: I think the plan right now is that they have

617
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:55,960
Speaker 3: they have a reception place where we're going.

618
00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:56,159
Speaker 2: To have it.

619
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:59,919
Speaker 6: They needed a ceremony contingency place, which to me is

620
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:03,760
Speaker 6: like the garden does have an option for.

621
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:05,560
Speaker 5: Oh, it just works something out. I thought they were

622
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:06,880
Speaker 5: gonna have her like umbrella.

623
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:08,600
Speaker 7: So I gotta see when this was posted. Either way,

624
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:09,200
Speaker 7: they have a plan.

625
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:12,720
Speaker 3: This seems very recent, especially with the government shutdown, which

626
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:14,720
Speaker 3: no longer is thank goodness.

627
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:17,119
Speaker 2: If it's that close, you're gonna make things and it's

628
00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:17,960
Speaker 2: already stressful.

629
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:19,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, where else would you do?

630
00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:22,440
Speaker 7: That's why I was like, if if the garden just has.

631
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:25,760
Speaker 6: A way around it, Yeah, I feel like maybe they'll

632
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:27,760
Speaker 6: still give you the discaise if you're like, hey, like

633
00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:28,960
Speaker 6: you guys just fired me.

634
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:31,199
Speaker 3: On top of all of this, I now have to

635
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,320
Speaker 3: go into the last two months of planning while looking

636
00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:34,879
Speaker 3: for a job in this job market.

637
00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:35,600
Speaker 5: I don't know what to do.

638
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:37,920
Speaker 3: Being faced with all of this is making me feel

639
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:41,640
Speaker 3: so upset and overwhelmed. Every time I think about updating

640
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:44,080
Speaker 3: my resume, I want to throw up the cherry on

641
00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:46,680
Speaker 3: top is that I I've also been in future mother in

642
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:49,159
Speaker 3: law heck, and just a couple of months ago, she

643
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:51,879
Speaker 3: tried to convince my fiance that she would just cancel

644
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:54,119
Speaker 3: the whole thing because he was stressed about money. I

645
00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:56,600
Speaker 3: wouldn't be surprised if she laughs in my face and

646
00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:58,920
Speaker 3: says I told you so when she finds out I've

647
00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:01,399
Speaker 3: been let go. If you've made it this far, you

648
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:02,360
Speaker 3: deserve a cookie.

649
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:03,280
Speaker 5: Thank you for listening.

650
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:06,000
Speaker 3: Like I said, any advice or words of encouragement would

651
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:09,080
Speaker 3: be helpful Right now, I just feel so stuck and

652
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:11,560
Speaker 3: common one says, based on what you've shared, it seems

653
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:15,359
Speaker 3: like the insurance coverage and financial stability are super high priority.

654
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:17,880
Speaker 3: You may need to pivot your plans right now. Oh,

655
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:21,200
Speaker 3: but that's not inherently a bad thing, regardless of starky

656
00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:23,520
Speaker 3: mother in law. A few things to consider. Can you

657
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:26,800
Speaker 3: get legal advice about your severance package and terms? The

658
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:30,200
Speaker 3: situation with health insurance definitely sounds like they were trying

659
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:33,280
Speaker 3: to cut some corners. What decisions will allow you to

660
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:36,600
Speaker 3: prioritize the job search? Can you get by with seasonal

661
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:39,400
Speaker 3: employment for now? What do your wedding contracts say about

662
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:43,240
Speaker 3: refunds and rescheduling, especially, but not limited to your venues.

663
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 3: Are you one hundred and ten percent certain that you

664
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,800
Speaker 3: can be and will be refunded on the ceremony venue?

665
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:51,520
Speaker 3: Are you open to a court ceremony with just family

666
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:54,240
Speaker 3: or a ceremony in a public location that may just

667
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:57,560
Speaker 3: need inexpensive permit. What other costs can you bring down

668
00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:00,520
Speaker 3: by pivoting plans? Catering is a big one that comes

669
00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 3: to mind. To hope this helps start the process. Good luck,

670
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:06,960
Speaker 3: ohp He says. I'm unsure about where to get legal advice,

671
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:08,840
Speaker 3: and honestly, I'm not sure if it would be worth

672
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:10,960
Speaker 3: the mental load to go down that path. I need

673
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:12,880
Speaker 3: to think a little more on what makes the job

674
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:16,040
Speaker 3: search easiest. We've got a call scheduled with the reception

675
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:18,800
Speaker 3: venue to discuss options, so it will also kind of

676
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:21,040
Speaker 3: depend on what they say. We're past the point of

677
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:23,800
Speaker 3: being able to reschedule or get a refund. I should

678
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:26,680
Speaker 3: have gotten in writing what my boss said about refunding

679
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:28,840
Speaker 3: me if I decided I don't want to get married

680
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:31,920
Speaker 3: at the garden. A court ceremony has definitely crossed my mind,

681
00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:34,640
Speaker 3: especially because we could just do that sooner and make

682
00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:36,920
Speaker 3: it easier for me to get on my partner's insurance.

683
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:39,920
Speaker 3: We already look through the catering contract and found some

684
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:43,400
Speaker 3: things to cut anways to save earlier this week before

685
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:45,480
Speaker 3: I even was called to have a meeting with HR,

686
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:48,400
Speaker 3: so that will alleviate some of the stress in that regard.

687
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 3: And that's the end of that story. I think trying

688
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:53,440
Speaker 3: to change things a month before the wedding is it's

689
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:55,720
Speaker 3: going to be way harder to do any of.

690
00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:57,880
Speaker 6: The other thing that got me to She was kind

691
00:29:57,880 --> 00:29:59,959
Speaker 6: of mad at the venue for going at the gar

692
00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:01,520
Speaker 6: and for going back and being like, well, you can't

693
00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:02,440
Speaker 6: get a refund anymore.

694
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:03,680
Speaker 7: You are a month out.

695
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 2: Yeah.

696
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:06,480
Speaker 6: I feel like your boss was probably like you can

697
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:09,960
Speaker 6: get a refund up until like the normal.

698
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:11,360
Speaker 7: Date that you can't get a refund.

699
00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:13,360
Speaker 3: I think it is pretty crazy that they fired you

700
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:15,240
Speaker 3: and still said you could get a refund.

701
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:17,080
Speaker 7: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

702
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:17,960
Speaker 7: to the next one.

703
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:20,600
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to the stories.

704
00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:22,400
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes bads from her sponsors.

705
00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 8: My sister in law ruined the meal I made, so

706
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 8: I lost it on her.

707
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:29,320
Speaker 7: Made it really really salty.

708
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:33,560
Speaker 8: My sister in law, Ashley is, for lack of a

709
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:38,320
Speaker 8: nicer word, obnoxious. She constantly does whatever she wants, even

710
00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:41,200
Speaker 8: when you ask her not to. She thinks she's above

711
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:44,320
Speaker 8: everyone else, even when she's so wrong. She has this

712
00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:47,680
Speaker 8: very stereotypical baby sister attitude where she acts like she

713
00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:50,040
Speaker 8: can do whatever she wants, and nobody is allowed to

714
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:53,560
Speaker 8: be mad at her because she's the baby. Yes, that's

715
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:56,880
Speaker 8: something that she regularly says. By the way, this comes

716
00:30:56,880 --> 00:30:58,959
Speaker 8: from a pasta sister in law. And if you want

717
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:00,840
Speaker 8: to submit your own stories, go to the our slash

718
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:04,200
Speaker 8: Okay storytime Separated And I'm Angie, I'm Carly, and we're

719
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 8: here to give good advice. Goofly, But we don't have

720
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:07,840
Speaker 8: all the answers. We just know what we would do

721
00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:09,560
Speaker 8: in the situation. But let us know what you would

722
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:13,200
Speaker 8: do down below, so Opie says. My husband says that

723
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:15,560
Speaker 8: she's the youngest of their family, so her acting that

724
00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:18,200
Speaker 8: way is normal. But I pointed out that I'm the

725
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:20,920
Speaker 8: youngest of my family and I've never acted that way.

726
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:23,520
Speaker 8: I don't like my sister in law, but I've been

727
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:26,280
Speaker 8: polite and kept a peaceful relationship for my husband's sake

728
00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:30,800
Speaker 8: until today. Today, it was the first time since twenty

729
00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:33,160
Speaker 8: nineteen that my husband or I have been able to

730
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:36,320
Speaker 8: see our small friend group in person. We all got

731
00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:38,920
Speaker 8: our shots two months ago and decided to meet up

732
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 8: finally for dinner. I cooked while our friends either pitched

733
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 8: in ingredients, made appetizers, or brought wine. I made pasta

734
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:49,320
Speaker 8: ravialdi by hand, which was hard. I made enough for me,

735
00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:52,560
Speaker 8: my husband, and our friends. But after they arrived and

736
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:54,480
Speaker 8: we all caught up. While I was finishing the food,

737
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:57,120
Speaker 8: sister in law showed up. She let herself in and

738
00:31:57,160 --> 00:32:01,400
Speaker 8: greeted everyone happily. They know her and said hi. But

739
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:04,440
Speaker 8: I suddenly asked my husband what she was doing here.

740
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:07,280
Speaker 8: It turns out he had mentioned the gathering to her,

741
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:10,479
Speaker 8: and he guessed that she assumed she was invited. I

742
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:13,040
Speaker 8: told him to tell her to leave, because she can't

743
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:16,600
Speaker 8: just invite herself. He said that would be humiliating for

744
00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:19,680
Speaker 8: her and asked if she could stay. I was annoyed,

745
00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:23,120
Speaker 8: but agreed. Things were fine at the start. I had

746
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 8: a few SIPs of wine to relax and was about

747
00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:27,360
Speaker 8: to play everyone's food at the kitchen island and bring

748
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:29,680
Speaker 8: it to them. But I forgot parmisan, so I went

749
00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:31,680
Speaker 8: to get it. I heard sister in law say she'd

750
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:33,640
Speaker 8: help bring the food to the table. I said no,

751
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:36,560
Speaker 8: thanks and to stay seated. My back was to her,

752
00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 8: and she said something I missed because of the loud

753
00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:43,440
Speaker 8: clang of a pot hitting the floor. I heard everyone

754
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:46,720
Speaker 8: gasp and close my eyes. I knew what happened, but

755
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:49,400
Speaker 8: I didn't want to look. When I did, I just

756
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:54,680
Speaker 8: started crying. Oh no, hours of work splattered on the floor.

757
00:32:55,320 --> 00:33:00,240
Speaker 8: Oh that is heartbreaking, Oh heartbreaking right before you a feet.

758
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:04,840
Speaker 6: Everyone as someone who like can make pasta and revul

759
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:06,280
Speaker 6: these homemade like that techa?

760
00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:07,000
Speaker 7: Why?

761
00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:07,320
Speaker 2: Yeah?

762
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:11,720
Speaker 8: Oh my gosh. Sister in law said it was okay,

763
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:17,080
Speaker 8: it was quote just some pasta. I'll buy more. I

764
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:21,120
Speaker 8: lost it. I called her a stupid witch who ruined

765
00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:24,760
Speaker 8: the entire dinner because she refuses to listen. She started

766
00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:27,320
Speaker 8: boohooing and I told her to shut up and leave.

767
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:30,400
Speaker 8: She ran out crying, and I sat down to cry too.

768
00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:33,440
Speaker 8: Our friends consoled me, and my husband tried to say

769
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:35,520
Speaker 8: that I went too far, but our friends told him

770
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:37,600
Speaker 8: that he was an a hole and sister in law

771
00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 8: was in the wrong. They helped clean and we ordered pizza,

772
00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:43,960
Speaker 8: but after they left, my husband and I were flooded

773
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,680
Speaker 8: with calls from his family saying that I was a horrible,

774
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:51,080
Speaker 8: spoiled brat who made their baby cry or some stupid food.

775
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:54,520
Speaker 8: Now I'm just crying and feeling like garbage.

776
00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:55,440
Speaker 5: Did I go too far?

777
00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:58,840
Speaker 8: I don't usually get so angry or curse and we

778
00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:01,480
Speaker 8: do have some comments, but what are your thoughts.

779
00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:04,800
Speaker 6: So, like when you keep in mind the bigger picture

780
00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:08,120
Speaker 6: of everything that like the sister is considered, like, oh, well,

781
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,279
Speaker 6: I'm a baby, Like you can't get mad at me,

782
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:15,440
Speaker 6: Like she's definitely super spoiled and definitely probably needed you

783
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:18,040
Speaker 6: to just like someone, yeah, to put her in her

784
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:21,399
Speaker 6: place even a little bit. Yeah, but at the same time,

785
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:22,560
Speaker 6: like maybe over.

786
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:24,480
Speaker 7: Pasta wasn't the vibes.

787
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:28,799
Speaker 6: Yeah, but I also get that that's hours an hour

788
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:32,439
Speaker 6: she genuinely wasn't listening and just assuming again she'd get

789
00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:35,440
Speaker 6: exactly what she wanted, Like maybe it was kind of

790
00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:38,359
Speaker 6: us not being there in the exact moment, Like it's

791
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:40,840
Speaker 6: hard to be like, yeah it was or wasn't dramatic,

792
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:42,680
Speaker 6: but I feel like you probably you're fine.

793
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:44,680
Speaker 7: You're not the A whole at all. You're definitely not

794
00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:45,239
Speaker 7: the A whole.

795
00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:49,480
Speaker 8: But yeah, but we do have some comments. Uh oh,

796
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:52,840
Speaker 8: he's actually responding to a comment clarifying that this girl

797
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:55,880
Speaker 8: is thirty one the sister a lot. He's closest in

798
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,520
Speaker 8: age to her and puts up with her stuff the least,

799
00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:01,720
Speaker 8: especially after we got together. I think sometimes his family

800
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:04,560
Speaker 8: just wears him down. I don't usually flip out like that.

801
00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:07,280
Speaker 8: I'm very level headed, but seeing my hours of hard

802
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:10,080
Speaker 8: work dumped on the floor just broke me. Okay, so

803
00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:14,240
Speaker 8: I guess these are just these are just rope. Responding

804
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:17,960
Speaker 8: to some other comments from OPI, Yeah, god, it took

805
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:21,400
Speaker 8: so much time hand making Ravioli's ugh.

806
00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:21,960
Speaker 2: Wow.

807
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:25,680
Speaker 8: Yeah, because you're probably like folding the pasta and everything. Yeah,

808
00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:28,040
Speaker 8: I didn't have the word limit to include it. But

809
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:30,200
Speaker 8: this is not the first time that she's broken or

810
00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:34,240
Speaker 8: damaged something because she refuses to listen to those around her. Okay,

811
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:35,440
Speaker 8: that is important information.

812
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:36,520
Speaker 2: I don't know.

813
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:40,120
Speaker 8: Why she insists that she has to touch everything. Some days,

814
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 8: I just want to scold her, like my nieces and nephews,

815
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:43,399
Speaker 8: look with.

816
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:45,280
Speaker 2: Your eyes, not your hands.

817
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 8: TI, I don't understand why she was trying to take

818
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 8: the whole pot to the table in the first place.

819
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:53,400
Speaker 8: I had plates set out to fill and serve everyone

820
00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:56,120
Speaker 8: at the island. All she had to do was stay

821
00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:57,880
Speaker 8: seated for once, which.

822
00:35:57,640 --> 00:35:59,880
Speaker 7: You told her to do. You did told her to do.

823
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:03,359
Speaker 8: But it was my first time making a pescatarian pasta dish.

824
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:06,480
Speaker 8: Because our friend Jenny doesn't eat any land meat. I

825
00:36:06,719 --> 00:36:09,200
Speaker 8: was so proud how they came out. The first ten

826
00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:11,080
Speaker 8: or so were kind of wonky, but I eventually got

827
00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:12,920
Speaker 8: the hang of it and was so excited to have

828
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:16,000
Speaker 8: everyone try them. I was already annoyed that I was

829
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:18,319
Speaker 8: going to have to take one ravioli from everyone so

830
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:21,359
Speaker 8: sister Lo can eat too, because while I had made

831
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:23,520
Speaker 8: about three extra just in case one or two fell

832
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:26,080
Speaker 8: apart or burned or whatever, so it wasn't enough for

833
00:36:26,239 --> 00:36:30,359
Speaker 8: a seventh person. But then she drops the entire pot

834
00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:33,120
Speaker 8: and I swear, if I hadn't started crying, I have

835
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:37,960
Speaker 8: unlived her. Unless she tuned out everyone around her in

836
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:39,120
Speaker 8: the minute she sat.

837
00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:39,480
Speaker 5: At the table.

838
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:43,440
Speaker 8: Then no, she knew that the ravioli were handmade. It

839
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:46,080
Speaker 8: got brought up a couple of times and there is

840
00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:48,320
Speaker 8: an update, but that is a lot of good information.

841
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:54,640
Speaker 6: Yeah, she was just, yeah, not caring about anything, doing

842
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:55,279
Speaker 6: her own thing.

843
00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:57,680
Speaker 7: Yeah, being obnoxious about it totally.

844
00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:01,239
Speaker 8: It's like it's it's frustrating because it's like, okay, to

845
00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:03,240
Speaker 8: give her the benefit of a doubt for a second,

846
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:06,920
Speaker 8: Like sure, sometimes you know that's just a good house

847
00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:10,279
Speaker 8: guest is to like help out and yeah, you might

848
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:13,040
Speaker 8: expect that, like the answer is yes, that you can

849
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:15,520
Speaker 8: help out, So maybe you just were already on your

850
00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:18,600
Speaker 8: way to do things. But at the same time, it's saego,

851
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:20,279
Speaker 8: doesn't excuse your clumsiness.

852
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:23,279
Speaker 6: Yeah, if we hadn't had the context of like I

853
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:25,840
Speaker 6: told her to stay seated and not touch it, and

854
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:28,360
Speaker 6: all I had to do was plait it.

855
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:32,160
Speaker 8: Yeah, exactly, it's like you were so close, so closed.

856
00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:34,960
Speaker 8: But we do have an update, and we're like a

857
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:39,360
Speaker 8: little under halfway through this story. Okay, let's hear it upset.

858
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:42,239
Speaker 8: He understands I'm upset that the food was wasted, but

859
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:44,799
Speaker 8: he doesn't think that my outburst was warranted and was

860
00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:47,759
Speaker 8: actually kind of extreme. Tomorrow is as off day, and

861
00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:49,680
Speaker 8: I told him he's going to be making the dish

862
00:37:49,719 --> 00:37:52,200
Speaker 8: like I did, by hand and on his own, and

863
00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:54,200
Speaker 8: then at the end we'll see if he thinks that

864
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:58,640
Speaker 8: my outburst was unwarranted. And we have a second update. Well,

865
00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:01,960
Speaker 8: Hobby made the for the first time today and it

866
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 8: went much like I had anticipated. He was all confident

867
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:09,960
Speaker 8: and it'll be easy during the first thirty minutes, but

868
00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:12,839
Speaker 8: towards the end of the first hour that disappeared as

869
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:15,040
Speaker 8: the burn in his arms really set in from making

870
00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:18,319
Speaker 8: enough dough for almost sixty ravioli. Whow, she's making the

871
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:21,000
Speaker 8: dough from scratch. Yeah, I did not lift a finger

872
00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:23,040
Speaker 8: to help him need since I didn't get any help

873
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:25,360
Speaker 8: when I did it. After the dough was done and

874
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:27,759
Speaker 8: wrapped up in the fridge, he made the filling, which

875
00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:30,840
Speaker 8: took another forty or so minutes. Then the dough was

876
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:33,480
Speaker 8: brought out and he had to start crafting the refrioli

877
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:36,719
Speaker 8: all by hand. After rolling the dough out. Lord, that

878
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:41,120
Speaker 8: went on forrageous, just rolling some dough out, cutting out squares,

879
00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:44,760
Speaker 8: filling them and putting the top on, Rinse and repeat

880
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:47,640
Speaker 8: until the dough and filling was all gone. All in

881
00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:50,960
Speaker 8: the entire process from start to finish for him on

882
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:54,320
Speaker 8: his own took a little over four hours. And that's

883
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:58,680
Speaker 8: with us not actually cooking any of the ravioli. Also,

884
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:00,880
Speaker 8: he didn't make any saucer, cook any shrimp for the

885
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:04,120
Speaker 8: ravioli to be served in or with. Also, he didn't

886
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:06,360
Speaker 8: prepare any salad to go with it. And when I

887
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:08,520
Speaker 8: told him this that there was still more to do,

888
00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 8: he almost started crying. Yeah, yeah, you know, I'm honestly impressed.

889
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:17,960
Speaker 8: He's at least doing this. Yeah, I'm glad that he's

890
00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:20,400
Speaker 8: like doing this test to see how hard it is

891
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:24,080
Speaker 8: in the first four hours and he's like, okay, you going,

892
00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:31,520
Speaker 8: there's more. He started saying sorry at the one hour

893
00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:34,719
Speaker 8: mark and hasn't stopped apologizing since he only made it

894
00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:38,439
Speaker 8: an hour. It's so funny. We had a long talk

895
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:40,839
Speaker 8: about his sister and the dinner she ruined. The other

896
00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:44,000
Speaker 8: times she's pulled similar incidents, there's a lot, and now

897
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:46,239
Speaker 8: him and his family always let her get away with it.

898
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:48,200
Speaker 8: He says he knows how they treat her as a

899
00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:50,520
Speaker 8: normal and he doesn't like it, but was raised to

900
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:53,600
Speaker 8: just go with a flow regarding Ashley. But he said

901
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:55,200
Speaker 8: that he's going to call her and tell her that

902
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:57,440
Speaker 8: we need some space from her for now. And we

903
00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:01,359
Speaker 8: have a third update here. But i' I love this husband. Now,

904
00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:04,160
Speaker 8: this is great. We're good now that he's like done

905
00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:04,560
Speaker 8: the work.

906
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:07,520
Speaker 7: And he's like, oh, yeah, I'm so sorry.

907
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:10,480
Speaker 8: Like that's honestly so big, because if she made Ashley

908
00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:12,160
Speaker 8: do something like that, she would just be like, no,

909
00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:13,839
Speaker 8: it's like not that bad, Like I don't even need

910
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:16,200
Speaker 8: to do this. You're being over like ridiculous for making

911
00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:18,880
Speaker 8: me do this like she would just would avoid it.

912
00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:22,560
Speaker 6: So but I am I can be all for like

913
00:40:22,719 --> 00:40:25,080
Speaker 6: if someone's being really stubborn or like really not on

914
00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:27,319
Speaker 6: your side and they go through it and they have.

915
00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:30,080
Speaker 7: A genuinely change and like totally a.

916
00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:32,840
Speaker 6: Ton of stories, like you're getting like a big old apology,

917
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:34,279
Speaker 6: a genuine one.

918
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:36,640
Speaker 7: That like okay, yeah, sure, I'm like I'm fasted.

919
00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:37,279
Speaker 2: Now we're good.

920
00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:39,879
Speaker 7: Yeah, you've done the work.

921
00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:42,000
Speaker 8: Yeah, because at first I was mad at him for

922
00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:45,319
Speaker 8: like saying she was overacting, but the fact that he's

923
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:48,279
Speaker 8: even doing this is like so impressive. Yeah, but we

924
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:51,719
Speaker 8: have a third update. Hubs just got a message from

925
00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:56,560
Speaker 8: his cousin of Ashley laughing and bragging feeling the pasta

926
00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:59,200
Speaker 8: to teach me a lesson for being such a snobby.

927
00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 8: Watch violence now is when I commit violence. She's ready now,

928
00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:11,120
Speaker 8: Oh my god, I am so mad at this woman.

929
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:13,800
Speaker 7: Not see that coming. Oh my god.

930
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:17,400
Speaker 8: Makes sense, because how do you tell that spill a

931
00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:24,399
Speaker 8: giant bike pot apasta that stuffs heavy heavy's heavy? That

932
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:29,480
Speaker 8: is it bad for you? So we literally we ride

933
00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:34,560
Speaker 8: at Dodd We ride name just docs her docs Ashley

934
00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:36,960
Speaker 8: right now and we'll get her. Oh my god, that

935
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:39,719
Speaker 8: is so insane. A handful of you all thought that

936
00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:41,640
Speaker 8: she did it on purpose, but I didn't actually think

937
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:44,520
Speaker 8: she did until hearing her admit to it. I have

938
00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:47,879
Speaker 8: never seen my husband this pissed off before. I don't

939
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:51,120
Speaker 8: know what's gonna happen. Now we do have a fourth updated.

940
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:55,480
Speaker 8: It's literally like a third of the story. Oh my god,

941
00:41:55,560 --> 00:42:00,160
Speaker 8: let's go update number four. Three and a half months later. Okay, eh,

942
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:03,960
Speaker 8: you're a ghost. So sister in law ragged to her

943
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:07,840
Speaker 8: and husband's cousin Brenda, that she ruined the dinner on purpose.

944
00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:11,760
Speaker 8: Hubby went to confront his family. Sister in law denied

945
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:14,080
Speaker 8: everything until Hubbs played the recording.

946
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:16,120
Speaker 7: My god, it's on that right now.

947
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:17,560
Speaker 8: She just outed herself as a liar.

948
00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:20,800
Speaker 7: Husband's got receipts. My gosh.

949
00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:23,640
Speaker 8: Hubbs banned sister in law from our house until she

950
00:42:23,719 --> 00:42:27,319
Speaker 8: apologized to me sincerely and reimbursed us for all the

951
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:31,479
Speaker 8: wasted food. Sister in law went ballistic, sobbing and throwing

952
00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:34,200
Speaker 8: a massive tantrum until mother in law tried calming her

953
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:37,360
Speaker 8: down in scolding Hubs for choosing some flucy over.

954
00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:38,160
Speaker 2: Your blood family.

955
00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:44,359
Speaker 8: Oh my god, that is insane. Hubbs, apparently flipped and

956
00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:46,799
Speaker 8: called out his family on their weird babying of sister

957
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:49,760
Speaker 8: and law, saying that they'd made her into a spoiled monster.

958
00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:53,239
Speaker 8: This just started a huge screaming match between all of

959
00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:55,279
Speaker 8: them before Hubbs said that he wasn't speaking to them

960
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:58,759
Speaker 8: for the foreseeable future before storming out. That's when he

961
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:01,000
Speaker 8: called me and told me to all of his family,

962
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:03,600
Speaker 8: and before I could hang up, I started getting tons

963
00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:05,840
Speaker 8: of calls and texts from all of them, just saying

964
00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:07,160
Speaker 8: the most hateful stuff.

965
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:08,280
Speaker 7: Oh my god.

966
00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:11,000
Speaker 8: All of my socials, from my personal insta to my

967
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:12,560
Speaker 8: work email were OpEd.

968
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:13,920
Speaker 5: My work email.

969
00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:16,960
Speaker 8: Were bombarded with hate until I managed to block all

970
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:19,320
Speaker 8: of them, but it took weeks for them all to stop.

971
00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:22,000
Speaker 8: The only people in Hubb's family who weren't pestering us

972
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:25,600
Speaker 8: were his paternal grandparents, his maternal grandmother, a few of

973
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:30,719
Speaker 8: his cousins on both sides, and his paternal aunts and uncles. Actually,

974
00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:33,320
Speaker 8: I think all of the hate was from his maternal side,

975
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:36,759
Speaker 8: though not all of them. After blocking them, all things

976
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:40,280
Speaker 8: were peaceful until a few weeks later. Our friend Kelly's

977
00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:44,080
Speaker 8: car was vandalized really bad when she stayed at our

978
00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:45,000
Speaker 8: house for the weekend.

979
00:43:45,719 --> 00:43:47,960
Speaker 7: What okay, well, go down the cop.

980
00:43:48,160 --> 00:43:50,840
Speaker 8: Yeah, and now we're bringing the law into this. Geez,

981
00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:53,479
Speaker 8: I'm talking. The sides were.

982
00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:55,480
Speaker 7: Keyed, all the tires were slashed, the.

983
00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:58,600
Speaker 8: Windows were spray painted, and they even tore off the

984
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:02,240
Speaker 8: tag and shoved it down into the driver side door

985
00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:05,279
Speaker 8: where the window slides down. We checked the doorbell cam

986
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:07,520
Speaker 8: and it was sister in law and brother in law.

987
00:44:07,920 --> 00:44:11,120
Speaker 8: Seems that they mistook Kelly's car for mine. I lent

988
00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:13,560
Speaker 8: my car to my mom since hers needed new tires

989
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:16,600
Speaker 8: and I could use hubs if needed. Since both Kelly

990
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:19,799
Speaker 8: and my cars are black. Needless to say, we call

991
00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:22,839
Speaker 8: it the cops and Kelly pressed charges on both of them.

992
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:24,640
Speaker 7: Good yeah.

993
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:27,160
Speaker 8: Thankfully with the video evidence, she said she was able

994
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:30,360
Speaker 8: to make in no fault claim against Ashley, who had insurance,

995
00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:34,560
Speaker 8: and Kelly got her repairs paid for, though barely. Sister

996
00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:36,960
Speaker 8: in law and brother in law getting arrested caused a

997
00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:39,839
Speaker 8: huge rift in Hubbs family between those who don't think

998
00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 8: it was necessary that they be arrested. Most think they

999
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:45,600
Speaker 8: should have just paid for repairs out of pocket, and

1000
00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:49,400
Speaker 8: those yeah, definitely not and some think they got what

1001
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:53,080
Speaker 8: was coming to them. Also, the arrest caused brother in

1002
00:44:53,160 --> 00:44:56,520
Speaker 8: law his job at a university. Hub's cousin, Brenda, who

1003
00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:58,640
Speaker 8: was keeping us in the loop, told us that anyways,

1004
00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:01,839
Speaker 8: we didn't look into it. Brenda also informed us that

1005
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:04,200
Speaker 8: during the whole family drama thing, it was revealed that

1006
00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:08,800
Speaker 8: Ashley is only their half sister. According to the maternal grandmother, anyways,

1007
00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:12,399
Speaker 8: seems she verbally tore mother in law to pieces after

1008
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:15,200
Speaker 8: mother in law insinuated that sister in law hadn't done

1009
00:45:15,239 --> 00:45:19,360
Speaker 8: anything to deserve this treatment, Brenda said, their grandmother said,

1010
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:22,520
Speaker 8: you felt bad that your husband didn't love her because

1011
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:25,440
Speaker 8: he knew she was just your shameful of fair baby.

1012
00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:30,960
Speaker 8: Oh my gosh, oh my god, Oh my gosh, the

1013
00:45:31,239 --> 00:45:39,320
Speaker 8: truth that is crazy. Wow wow, oh my gosh.

1014
00:45:39,360 --> 00:45:39,720
Speaker 2: Wow.

1015
00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:43,799
Speaker 8: But Grandma continued, So you loved her more than your

1016
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:46,799
Speaker 8: other kids in some twisted effort to make up for it,

1017
00:45:47,239 --> 00:45:50,000
Speaker 8: and you pulled your other kids into doing it too,

1018
00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:53,080
Speaker 8: and all you did was succeed in spoiling her rut.

1019
00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:58,520
Speaker 8: Oh my gosh, but go Grandma for finally saying, srandmaw

1020
00:45:58,640 --> 00:46:01,200
Speaker 8: and she has like the credential Tuesday something too.

1021
00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:04,479
Speaker 6: But when Grandma says something like that, like Everybody listen.

1022
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:07,960
Speaker 8: Everybody listens, because one she's speaking facts and she's you know,

1023
00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:11,520
Speaker 8: they're fact. Yeah, she's digging deep, she's talking. This is

1024
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:15,279
Speaker 8: a freaking affair. These are the deep psychological reasons why

1025
00:46:15,280 --> 00:46:17,680
Speaker 8: you're doing this, and you've been doing this her whole life.

1026
00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:21,239
Speaker 8: And also it's her own mother that's doing this. So

1027
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:26,600
Speaker 8: thankfully this is happening. I'm so glad we've got Grandma

1028
00:46:26,640 --> 00:46:30,200
Speaker 8: on our side. My goodness. Wow, we do have a

1029
00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:33,279
Speaker 8: little bit more into the story. Brenda told us more,

1030
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:36,320
Speaker 8: but that part is what really stuck in my mind. Honestly,

1031
00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:39,319
Speaker 8: hearing all of that was unbelievable for me. I had

1032
00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:42,800
Speaker 8: no idea this level of drama was buried my husband's family.

1033
00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:47,120
Speaker 8: Then again, neither did he, and all this snowballed from

1034
00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:50,880
Speaker 8: a ruined Ravioli dinner. Hubs and I have decided to

1035
00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:53,120
Speaker 8: distance ourselves from that part of the family and for now,

1036
00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:56,160
Speaker 8: after handing Kelly a copy of the video of sister

1037
00:46:56,200 --> 00:46:58,160
Speaker 8: in law and brother in law tearing up her car,

1038
00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:00,919
Speaker 8: we more or less washed our hands dealing with them all.

1039
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:04,319
Speaker 8: And I've been way less stressed lately. Hubs do that

1040
00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:08,680
Speaker 8: we've both noticed, so not a terrible ending, and I

1041
00:47:08,719 --> 00:47:10,160
Speaker 8: would agree honestly.

1042
00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:13,640
Speaker 6: Yeah, that brought out exactly. I feel like what you

1043
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:16,759
Speaker 6: all needed to hear. Yes, and now you guys can

1044
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:17,719
Speaker 6: do like with that.

1045
00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:19,360
Speaker 7: What you will and move on.

1046
00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:23,399
Speaker 8: And yeah exactly, I mean like irable for Kelly's car

1047
00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:27,560
Speaker 8: and for your pasta. But absolutely absolutely you're free.

1048
00:47:27,640 --> 00:47:30,560
Speaker 7: You're free. Grandma laid the facts, so you're free.

1049
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:34,120
Speaker 8: Yeah, it all started with just all that needed to

1050
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:36,759
Speaker 8: happen was your husband needed to make that ravioli and

1051
00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:39,680
Speaker 8: see how freaking hard it was. Yeah, and then you're

1052
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:40,719
Speaker 8: then everything and.

1053
00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:42,000
Speaker 7: Then everything fell into place.

1054
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:43,000
Speaker 8: Everything fell into place.

1055
00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:44,839
Speaker 2: I mean you know, it got rocky on the way there.

1056
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:48,000
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it was necessary. And that's the

1057
00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:48,720
Speaker 8: end of the story.

1058
00:47:48,840 --> 00:47:50,120
Speaker 5: We're going on to the next one.

1059
00:47:51,200 --> 00:47:51,839
Speaker 2: Hey, it's John here.

1060
00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:53,600
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to this episode, but a quick

1061
00:47:53,640 --> 00:47:55,640
Speaker 1: three minute break with as form more sponsors.

1062
00:47:56,080 --> 00:48:00,080
Speaker 6: My mother in law throws a tantrum over babysitting and

1063
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:01,280
Speaker 6: I've had enough.

1064
00:48:01,680 --> 00:48:05,160
Speaker 8: Well, obviously she can't babysit because she's a baby.

1065
00:48:05,239 --> 00:48:08,359
Speaker 6: I have been fighting a boundary war with my mother

1066
00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:11,880
Speaker 6: in law since my child was born. Before my daughter

1067
00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:14,520
Speaker 6: was born, my mother in law offered to quit her

1068
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:17,839
Speaker 6: job and to be our full time daycare. The pay

1069
00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:21,560
Speaker 6: she wanted was not something we could afford, and so

1070
00:48:21,640 --> 00:48:25,000
Speaker 6: we expressed that it wouldn't work for us. She responded

1071
00:48:25,040 --> 00:48:27,080
Speaker 6: that it was not about the pay, but that she

1072
00:48:27,239 --> 00:48:30,239
Speaker 6: wanted to spend time with our daughter. By the way,

1073
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:33,400
Speaker 6: this comes from c Demand eighty six fifty five, And

1074
00:48:33,440 --> 00:48:35,640
Speaker 6: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

1075
00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:39,439
Speaker 6: the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. I'm Carlyn, I'm Angie, and.

1076
00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:40,720
Speaker 7: We're here to give good advice.

1077
00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:43,879
Speaker 6: Goofully, but we don't have all the answers. We only

1078
00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:45,960
Speaker 6: know what we would do, so let us know what

1079
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:49,440
Speaker 6: you would do in the comments and Opie says she

1080
00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:52,239
Speaker 6: was not in a financial place to be able to

1081
00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:56,040
Speaker 6: quit working. However, the compromise was that she would babysit

1082
00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:57,800
Speaker 6: one day a week in our home.

1083
00:48:58,400 --> 00:48:59,080
Speaker 7: We offered to.

1084
00:48:59,040 --> 00:49:00,960
Speaker 6: Pay for the day, but you didn't want to be paid.

1085
00:49:01,360 --> 00:49:03,719
Speaker 6: When the baby came, I took my twelve weeks of

1086
00:49:03,760 --> 00:49:08,920
Speaker 6: maternity leave. It was magical, exhausting, and really such an

1087
00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:12,000
Speaker 6: honor as we had to do fertility treatments to have

1088
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:16,640
Speaker 6: our daughter, so every moment feels extra special. I had

1089
00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:20,920
Speaker 6: some struggles and was diagnosed with postpartum OCD. This was

1090
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:24,239
Speaker 6: found very quickly and I was able to get on

1091
00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:28,200
Speaker 6: medication that helps me live a completely normal existence. Once

1092
00:49:28,280 --> 00:49:31,240
Speaker 6: my maternity time was up, the baby went to daycare

1093
00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:34,120
Speaker 6: Monday through Thursday, and on Friday was cared for in

1094
00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:37,560
Speaker 6: our home by my in laws. Please note the baby

1095
00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:40,799
Speaker 6: can go to daycare on Fridays, but does not so

1096
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:44,600
Speaker 6: they have that time to spend with their grandchild. I

1097
00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:47,920
Speaker 6: am a work from home employee. As all work from

1098
00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:51,200
Speaker 6: home employees know, this means that everyone you are related

1099
00:49:51,239 --> 00:49:54,359
Speaker 6: to thinks you have endless free time and can work

1100
00:49:54,400 --> 00:49:55,080
Speaker 6: whenever you want.

1101
00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:58,560
Speaker 8: Dude, Honestly, I just started like kind of working from home,

1102
00:49:58,760 --> 00:49:59,960
Speaker 8: and it's already true.

1103
00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:03,080
Speaker 6: After all, there is no boss to yell at you

1104
00:50:03,120 --> 00:50:06,160
Speaker 6: if you're late, right, Well, my in law took this

1105
00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:08,680
Speaker 6: to me and they could show up whenever despite me

1106
00:50:08,840 --> 00:50:13,080
Speaker 6: giving them a specific time. They are consistently thirty minutes

1107
00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:16,880
Speaker 6: to one hour late, then want to ask questions and

1108
00:50:16,960 --> 00:50:20,120
Speaker 6: chat when they get here. They also quickly decided they

1109
00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:23,600
Speaker 6: needed to do housework while in my home. I originally

1110
00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:27,719
Speaker 6: asked that they not do that and just focus on babysitting.

1111
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:30,799
Speaker 6: I expressed that cleaning is an activity I enjoy and

1112
00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:34,799
Speaker 6: like to do on the weekend. Specifically, I stated that

1113
00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:37,680
Speaker 6: I like to do my own laundry. They continued to

1114
00:50:37,719 --> 00:50:41,160
Speaker 6: do housework even after this request, stating it was not

1115
00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:45,520
Speaker 6: trouble at all. They make lots of noise, vacuuming, loud music,

1116
00:50:45,640 --> 00:50:49,279
Speaker 6: and banging of pots and pans. My mother in law

1117
00:50:49,520 --> 00:50:52,600
Speaker 6: loves to cook huge meals, using every dish in the

1118
00:50:52,680 --> 00:50:56,759
Speaker 6: kitchen as a favor to us. One day, I walked

1119
00:50:56,800 --> 00:50:58,880
Speaker 6: down to grab my lunch and found my father in

1120
00:50:58,960 --> 00:51:02,959
Speaker 6: law folding my launch, including my underwear, while my mother

1121
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:06,520
Speaker 6: in law was cooking, and the baby walking at this point,

1122
00:51:06,719 --> 00:51:10,480
Speaker 6: was playing on her own while she was still being supervised.

1123
00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:13,479
Speaker 6: I was very annoyed that my boundaries were not being

1124
00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:16,880
Speaker 6: listened to and that they were not focusing on the

1125
00:51:16,960 --> 00:51:20,200
Speaker 6: child they were meant to be watching. When my husband

1126
00:51:20,200 --> 00:51:22,680
Speaker 6: got home, I shared my continued woes with him and

1127
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:25,560
Speaker 6: expressed that I did not think this arrangement was working.

1128
00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:26,879
Speaker 7: By this point, I.

1129
00:51:26,880 --> 00:51:30,160
Speaker 6: Was seeing a psychologist at least weekly and was not

1130
00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:33,920
Speaker 6: sleeping from the stress of this scenario. He offered to

1131
00:51:34,040 --> 00:51:37,360
Speaker 6: use his leftover paternity leave to stay home on Fridays

1132
00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:40,520
Speaker 6: while they were there to train his parents. I agreed

1133
00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:42,520
Speaker 6: that if he could get them to act in an

1134
00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:45,840
Speaker 6: acceptable form so I could get work done, that it

1135
00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:49,320
Speaker 6: was worth a try. I think family is very important

1136
00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:51,279
Speaker 6: and it is never my wish to stand in the

1137
00:51:51,280 --> 00:51:53,480
Speaker 6: way of it. I just need to be able to

1138
00:51:53,600 --> 00:51:56,680
Speaker 6: get work done. That solution did seem to help for

1139
00:51:56,680 --> 00:51:59,840
Speaker 6: a while, but as his paternity leave started to dwindle,

1140
00:52:00,600 --> 00:52:04,480
Speaker 6: so did my mental state. While things had improved, boundaries

1141
00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:07,399
Speaker 6: were still being pushed and I still did not feel

1142
00:52:07,440 --> 00:52:10,799
Speaker 6: comfortable being able to work in the house. Things were

1143
00:52:10,880 --> 00:52:13,640
Speaker 6: quite heated between my husband and me during that time.

1144
00:52:14,080 --> 00:52:17,080
Speaker 6: He argued that I wasn't seeing the value in family

1145
00:52:17,160 --> 00:52:19,439
Speaker 6: time and that it was saving us money.

1146
00:52:19,280 --> 00:52:23,000
Speaker 7: Forty dollars a week. I argued that he wasn't valuing

1147
00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:23,960
Speaker 7: my mental health.

1148
00:52:24,440 --> 00:52:27,080
Speaker 6: We went round and round in circles, both of us

1149
00:52:27,280 --> 00:52:30,680
Speaker 6: unable to see the other's view. Finally, with the help

1150
00:52:30,719 --> 00:52:33,760
Speaker 6: of my therapist, I decided that I needed to figure

1151
00:52:33,760 --> 00:52:37,120
Speaker 6: out what I could control in the situation. I could

1152
00:52:37,120 --> 00:52:40,640
Speaker 6: control where I worked, so I found a coworking space

1153
00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:43,200
Speaker 6: in town that costs one hundred dollars a month. Please

1154
00:52:43,280 --> 00:52:45,360
Speaker 6: note that our savings from having in laws watch our

1155
00:52:45,440 --> 00:52:48,520
Speaker 6: child is one hundred and sixty a month. My husband

1156
00:52:48,520 --> 00:52:51,080
Speaker 6: and I split daycare cost, meaning my share of that

1157
00:52:51,120 --> 00:52:54,319
Speaker 6: would be eighty dollars per month. So essentially, I am

1158
00:52:54,360 --> 00:52:57,640
Speaker 6: personally paying an extra twenty dollars a month to leave

1159
00:52:57,719 --> 00:53:02,200
Speaker 6: my comfortable home office drive across town. Not ideal, but

1160
00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:04,960
Speaker 6: other than this situation, my husband and I get along

1161
00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:08,600
Speaker 6: perfectly well. I figured twenty dollars is a fair price

1162
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:11,400
Speaker 6: to pay to keep the peace in my marriage. This

1163
00:53:11,560 --> 00:53:14,480
Speaker 6: arrangement has worked for a while. For the most part,

1164
00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:16,719
Speaker 6: I can work for my office with no trouble. I'm

1165
00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:18,680
Speaker 6: gone by the time they get here and return at

1166
00:53:18,680 --> 00:53:22,160
Speaker 6: the end of my work day. I'd still be slightly.

1167
00:53:21,719 --> 00:53:25,120
Speaker 7: Annoyed when I would come home to my home rearranged.

1168
00:53:24,520 --> 00:53:26,800
Speaker 6: Or food I had planned to make already cooked a

1169
00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:29,920
Speaker 6: different way, but I would be keeping the peace.

1170
00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:31,399
Speaker 7: And that was worth it.

1171
00:53:31,840 --> 00:53:35,040
Speaker 6: However, I only get so many hours of private office

1172
00:53:35,040 --> 00:53:37,920
Speaker 6: space and only have two screens instead of the three

1173
00:53:38,040 --> 00:53:40,719
Speaker 6: I have at home. Usually I can work with this,

1174
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:43,800
Speaker 6: but I've been on a new project that requires both

1175
00:53:43,840 --> 00:53:44,600
Speaker 6: of those things.

1176
00:53:44,880 --> 00:53:46,520
Speaker 7: Today I received a text.

1177
00:53:46,280 --> 00:53:48,440
Speaker 6: From my mother in law asking if she should come

1178
00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:52,080
Speaker 6: over at the normally scheduled time, noting that she never

1179
00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:54,840
Speaker 6: makes it by that time. I texted her back to

1180
00:53:54,920 --> 00:53:56,680
Speaker 6: let her know it wouldn't work out for her to

1181
00:53:56,680 --> 00:54:00,040
Speaker 6: babysit tomorrow, after checking with my husband to confirm that

1182
00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:03,480
Speaker 6: was okay. Please know I have done this before when

1183
00:54:03,480 --> 00:54:05,799
Speaker 6: one of us had a doctor's appointment or a day

1184
00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:08,960
Speaker 6: off on a Friday. My therapist has me working on

1185
00:54:09,160 --> 00:54:12,719
Speaker 6: not explaining my actions, so I kept it vague. It

1186
00:54:12,800 --> 00:54:16,960
Speaker 6: doesn't work without a specific explanation. She proceeded to call me.

1187
00:54:17,280 --> 00:54:20,520
Speaker 7: I answered. We covered a few major points during this call.

1188
00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:23,200
Speaker 6: I expressed that it is hard for me to focus

1189
00:54:23,280 --> 00:54:25,680
Speaker 6: on work with my daughter home, and that I have

1190
00:54:25,760 --> 00:54:28,480
Speaker 6: a lot to get done this week. She cannot take

1191
00:54:28,520 --> 00:54:31,520
Speaker 6: my daughter elsewhere to babysit her. While we often drop

1192
00:54:31,520 --> 00:54:33,560
Speaker 6: her off at their house and don't have an issue

1193
00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:36,759
Speaker 6: with her being watched somewhere safe, we don't like her

1194
00:54:36,800 --> 00:54:39,600
Speaker 6: out on the road with other people, because really, why

1195
00:54:39,640 --> 00:54:42,239
Speaker 6: does she need to be Their home is much farther

1196
00:54:42,320 --> 00:54:46,120
Speaker 6: away than daycare, so driving her there isn't a reasonable solution.

1197
00:54:46,960 --> 00:54:49,120
Speaker 6: My husband will be gone this weekend and I have

1198
00:54:49,160 --> 00:54:52,719
Speaker 6: other plans. My plans were near her home, so I said,

1199
00:54:52,760 --> 00:54:55,600
Speaker 6: if it worked out, we would stop over, or if

1200
00:54:55,600 --> 00:54:58,320
Speaker 6: it didn't, we could all go grab dinner together next week.

1201
00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:01,560
Speaker 7: We passed recipes back and forth, which is something we

1202
00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:04,360
Speaker 7: do to bond with each other as we both love food.

1203
00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:06,719
Speaker 6: I felt this was good as it seemed to get

1204
00:55:06,800 --> 00:55:09,440
Speaker 6: us both in good spirits. I was happy that I

1205
00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:11,640
Speaker 6: was able to find a way to communicate my need

1206
00:55:11,680 --> 00:55:14,600
Speaker 6: for a calm work environment and figure out how to

1207
00:55:14,600 --> 00:55:17,880
Speaker 6: still have family time again, what I felt was a

1208
00:55:17,880 --> 00:55:21,200
Speaker 6: good compromise. Thirty minutes later, I got a text from

1209
00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:25,720
Speaker 6: my husband saying his mom called devastated. In her words,

1210
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:28,880
Speaker 6: she had been banned from watching our daughter ever again

1211
00:55:29,040 --> 00:55:31,839
Speaker 6: and that she wasn't allowed to drive her. She also

1212
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:34,160
Speaker 6: said that I stated I was too busy to see

1213
00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:37,000
Speaker 6: her over the next week, she expressed to him that

1214
00:55:37,080 --> 00:55:41,240
Speaker 6: I was taking her light my daughter away. I quite

1215
00:55:41,280 --> 00:55:44,480
Speaker 6: frankly lost my mind. I told my husband that his

1216
00:55:44,520 --> 00:55:47,879
Speaker 6: mother needs to learn to respect boundaries and that all

1217
00:55:47,920 --> 00:55:50,480
Speaker 6: of this was getting out of hand. I did not

1218
00:55:50,719 --> 00:55:53,480
Speaker 6: say any of these things to her, and this is

1219
00:55:53,520 --> 00:55:56,120
Speaker 6: basically a tantrum because she did not get her way.

1220
00:55:56,840 --> 00:55:59,440
Speaker 6: But even if I had, why would she try to

1221
00:55:59,440 --> 00:56:02,359
Speaker 6: get him at me to get in a disagreement over it.

1222
00:56:02,880 --> 00:56:06,280
Speaker 6: His mother had requested a family meeting to discuss the scenario.

1223
00:56:06,880 --> 00:56:09,719
Speaker 6: And there is a strong possibility that I will not

1224
00:56:09,840 --> 00:56:13,480
Speaker 6: be able to remain calm any longer. So before this meeting,

1225
00:56:13,640 --> 00:56:16,640
Speaker 6: I need to ask am I the ahle and we

1226
00:56:16,719 --> 00:56:18,880
Speaker 6: have update and answers to questions.

1227
00:56:19,160 --> 00:56:22,160
Speaker 7: But what do you think? I mean, I don't.

1228
00:56:22,800 --> 00:56:24,520
Speaker 8: I don't think you're the a hole. I mean I

1229
00:56:24,520 --> 00:56:28,120
Speaker 8: think like if you have these boundaries, I mean, because

1230
00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:30,560
Speaker 8: we hear so many stories like I'm not a mom, okay,

1231
00:56:30,640 --> 00:56:32,680
Speaker 8: but we hear a lot of stories about new parents

1232
00:56:32,719 --> 00:56:37,520
Speaker 8: where the mother in law is like crashing and they're

1233
00:56:37,719 --> 00:56:41,320
Speaker 8: just taken over and crossing boundaries and stuff, And I

1234
00:56:41,400 --> 00:56:45,279
Speaker 8: think that's perfectly normal to not be okay with that. Yeah,

1235
00:56:45,320 --> 00:56:47,640
Speaker 8: you just had a baby. This is a new time,

1236
00:56:47,880 --> 00:56:50,160
Speaker 8: new life for you. You're gonna need to adjust and

1237
00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:52,839
Speaker 8: have your own ways. Yeah, I would agree. I could

1238
00:56:52,960 --> 00:56:57,480
Speaker 8: understand wanting your laundry not to get touched totally. Yeah

1239
00:56:57,680 --> 00:56:58,680
Speaker 8: you got a system for that.

1240
00:56:59,000 --> 00:57:01,480
Speaker 7: Yeah, I like my system exactly.

1241
00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:05,799
Speaker 6: Update and answers to questions. The family meeting, I got

1242
00:57:05,880 --> 00:57:08,080
Speaker 6: a lot of comments saying that we should not have

1243
00:57:08,120 --> 00:57:11,360
Speaker 6: a family meeting, but I believe there is some relevant

1244
00:57:11,400 --> 00:57:14,360
Speaker 6: history here. My husband and his family have had this

1245
00:57:14,440 --> 00:57:16,840
Speaker 6: tradition of family meetings since.

1246
00:57:16,640 --> 00:57:17,880
Speaker 7: He was a small child.

1247
00:57:18,320 --> 00:57:21,760
Speaker 6: They allow anyone to bring up their thoughts uninterrupted and

1248
00:57:21,880 --> 00:57:25,080
Speaker 6: then allow everyone's voice to be heard. My husband is

1249
00:57:25,120 --> 00:57:28,600
Speaker 6: an only child and they do not have any nearby relatives.

1250
00:57:28,800 --> 00:57:31,880
Speaker 6: We are their health care proxy and these meetings have

1251
00:57:31,960 --> 00:57:34,880
Speaker 6: been used to discuss their health. They are not something

1252
00:57:34,920 --> 00:57:37,240
Speaker 6: I would wish to end because they are actually quite

1253
00:57:37,240 --> 00:57:40,960
Speaker 6: a healthy form of communication. They have in fact helped

1254
00:57:41,040 --> 00:57:44,240
Speaker 6: with boundary setting in other areas of the relationship.

1255
00:57:44,600 --> 00:57:46,760
Speaker 7: And then we have some extenuating circumstance.

1256
00:57:47,160 --> 00:57:49,960
Speaker 6: Another note I got a lot was that we needed

1257
00:57:49,960 --> 00:57:53,000
Speaker 6: to cut off contact, that my husband should support me

1258
00:57:53,320 --> 00:57:56,560
Speaker 6: more on his parents not needing so much time. I

1259
00:57:56,600 --> 00:57:58,600
Speaker 6: think it is helpful to know that his father has

1260
00:57:58,680 --> 00:58:02,680
Speaker 6: a deteriorating disease. While he is doing well and it

1261
00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:05,320
Speaker 6: does not impact his ability to watch our daughter at

1262
00:58:05,400 --> 00:58:08,880
Speaker 6: this point, it does mean time is now limited. This

1263
00:58:09,000 --> 00:58:11,920
Speaker 6: has been especially hard on my husband, who feels he

1264
00:58:12,040 --> 00:58:15,480
Speaker 6: is slowly losing his hero and mentor. It creates a

1265
00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:18,560
Speaker 6: different dynamic for why he puts emphasis on wanting our

1266
00:58:18,640 --> 00:58:22,680
Speaker 6: daughter to spend time with her grandparents. Multidimensional characters. I

1267
00:58:22,720 --> 00:58:26,400
Speaker 6: fear that there has been some stereotyping of each of us,

1268
00:58:26,760 --> 00:58:30,520
Speaker 6: which is understandable as a decade of dynamics cannot be

1269
00:58:30,560 --> 00:58:33,520
Speaker 6: represented in a single post. So to ensure I am

1270
00:58:33,560 --> 00:58:36,880
Speaker 6: not misrepresenting anyone, I want to give some more context.

1271
00:58:37,520 --> 00:58:39,760
Speaker 7: Mother in law. My mother in law is not an

1272
00:58:39,840 --> 00:58:41,480
Speaker 7: evil house of mouse character.

1273
00:58:41,880 --> 00:58:44,760
Speaker 6: While she does push boundaries more than she should, she

1274
00:58:44,880 --> 00:58:47,680
Speaker 6: is not mean spirited. She is honestly someone I look

1275
00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:50,320
Speaker 6: up to in many aspects of life. She is a

1276
00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:53,200
Speaker 6: girl boss who got into leadership in a male heavy

1277
00:58:53,200 --> 00:58:56,600
Speaker 6: career path and helped others to do so. I often

1278
00:58:56,640 --> 00:58:59,959
Speaker 6: attribute her pushiness to that. She also has a big

1279
00:59:00,480 --> 00:59:03,520
Speaker 6: and took in many of my husband's friends who had

1280
00:59:03,520 --> 00:59:07,280
Speaker 6: poor home lives. She collected donations for the homeless, not

1281
00:59:07,440 --> 00:59:09,560
Speaker 6: for praise, but because she thinks it is the right

1282
00:59:09,600 --> 00:59:12,520
Speaker 6: thing to do. She is also a woman whose partner

1283
00:59:12,560 --> 00:59:16,400
Speaker 6: and best friend of multiple decades is slowly slipping away

1284
00:59:16,400 --> 00:59:19,520
Speaker 6: from his disease. It is also important to note that

1285
00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:22,440
Speaker 6: my husband and I are high school sweethearts. She did

1286
00:59:22,520 --> 00:59:25,400
Speaker 6: quite literally watch me grow up. She is fond of me,

1287
00:59:25,520 --> 00:59:27,680
Speaker 6: and I am fond of her. This is not the

1288
00:59:27,720 --> 00:59:30,960
Speaker 6: typical mother in law is jealous of the wife scenario

1289
00:59:31,080 --> 00:59:33,960
Speaker 6: when she introduced me to people. I am her daughter,

1290
00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:37,200
Speaker 6: not her daughter in law. My husband is also a

1291
00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:39,960
Speaker 6: more dimensional character than I was able to capture in

1292
00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:43,960
Speaker 6: the original post. While we have our things as everyone does,

1293
00:59:44,240 --> 00:59:48,200
Speaker 6: he truly is my very best friend. He's chased an

1294
00:59:48,200 --> 00:59:51,520
Speaker 6: ice cream truck for blocks for me, hand carved me

1295
00:59:51,600 --> 00:59:54,600
Speaker 6: a ring out of wood, and watches my game shows

1296
00:59:54,600 --> 00:59:56,280
Speaker 6: with me, even though he hates them.

1297
00:59:56,480 --> 00:59:57,520
Speaker 8: Oh my gosh.

1298
00:59:57,560 --> 00:59:59,200
Speaker 7: If that isn't love, what is?

1299
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:00,880
Speaker 8: That's so sweet?

1300
01:00:01,200 --> 01:00:01,560
Speaker 2: Sweet?

1301
01:00:02,320 --> 01:00:04,720
Speaker 6: It's also important to note that he does care about

1302
01:00:04,720 --> 01:00:07,479
Speaker 6: my mental health and is not the toxic, macho male

1303
01:00:07,560 --> 01:00:11,200
Speaker 6: stereotype some have assumed. He brings me chocolate on my

1304
01:00:11,240 --> 01:00:14,479
Speaker 6: bad days, talks through my thoughts with me, and even

1305
01:00:14,520 --> 01:00:16,800
Speaker 6: offered to go to therapy sessions and pay for them.

1306
01:00:17,440 --> 01:00:20,360
Speaker 6: The dynamic with his family just often puts in between

1307
01:00:20,400 --> 01:00:23,080
Speaker 6: a rock and a hard spot. Some in the comment

1308
01:00:23,160 --> 01:00:25,880
Speaker 6: section seem to believe that he never stands up to

1309
01:00:25,920 --> 01:00:26,320
Speaker 6: his mother.

1310
01:00:26,560 --> 01:00:29,920
Speaker 7: That is not accurate. In fact, the reason they often

1311
01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:32,400
Speaker 7: communicate through me is that they are a bit too

1312
01:00:32,480 --> 01:00:35,520
Speaker 7: harsh with each other. They both prefer to talk to me.

1313
01:00:36,160 --> 01:00:39,120
Speaker 6: I too, am not quite the dormat that seems to

1314
01:00:39,160 --> 01:00:41,760
Speaker 6: have made me out to be. In many facets of

1315
01:00:41,800 --> 01:00:45,760
Speaker 6: these relationships, I do make strong boundaries. For example, holidays,

1316
01:00:46,120 --> 01:00:48,920
Speaker 6: I set the boundary that we husband, daughter, and I

1317
01:00:48,960 --> 01:00:52,680
Speaker 6: are to have time for just our nuclear family. Everyone

1318
01:00:52,760 --> 01:00:56,080
Speaker 6: knows I won't budge on this and accepts it begrudgingly.

1319
01:00:56,200 --> 01:00:58,800
Speaker 6: Of course, while I am capable of this, it does

1320
01:00:58,840 --> 01:01:01,360
Speaker 6: become difficult when hubby and I are not on the

1321
01:01:01,400 --> 01:01:05,880
Speaker 6: same page, which is why this scenario has occurred. I

1322
01:01:05,920 --> 01:01:09,439
Speaker 6: will also say that while I can set boundaries, their

1323
01:01:09,480 --> 01:01:13,480
Speaker 6: family dynamic is very different from mine. My family accept

1324
01:01:13,560 --> 01:01:17,080
Speaker 6: softer boundaries. I prefer to do my own laundry boundary

1325
01:01:17,120 --> 01:01:21,720
Speaker 6: exception action stopped. They require a hard boundary. You doing

1326
01:01:21,720 --> 01:01:24,840
Speaker 6: my laundry is not acceptable to me. Despite being together

1327
01:01:24,920 --> 01:01:27,840
Speaker 6: for an extended period of time, I still struggle with

1328
01:01:27,880 --> 01:01:31,240
Speaker 6: the hard boundary creation, as this isn't something I was

1329
01:01:31,360 --> 01:01:32,040
Speaker 6: raised around.

1330
01:01:32,440 --> 01:01:33,360
Speaker 8: Those sounded like the.

1331
01:01:33,360 --> 01:01:38,280
Speaker 6: Same exact boundaries setting. Yeah, you just phrase them differently.

1332
01:01:38,960 --> 01:01:41,120
Speaker 8: You just trying to avoid plagiarism.

1333
01:01:41,520 --> 01:01:44,200
Speaker 7: Yeah, you're trying to avoid your own plagiarism.

1334
01:01:44,320 --> 01:01:47,640
Speaker 6: Yeah, these still feel like I'm being disrespectful.

1335
01:01:47,880 --> 01:01:50,280
Speaker 7: This is an area I need to improve on. Without

1336
01:01:50,320 --> 01:01:51,600
Speaker 7: a doubt, I.

1337
01:01:51,600 --> 01:01:54,480
Speaker 6: Fully understand that this element is not fair to me,

1338
01:01:54,760 --> 01:01:57,840
Speaker 6: which is why I put my foot down about this week. However,

1339
01:01:57,960 --> 01:02:00,320
Speaker 6: in laws are not aware of the reason I got

1340
01:02:00,400 --> 01:02:02,919
Speaker 6: my office. They do understand that I have a hard

1341
01:02:02,960 --> 01:02:05,560
Speaker 6: time working while they're here, but they don't understand the

1342
01:02:05,640 --> 01:02:08,840
Speaker 6: lengths I've gone to or my mental health struggles. In

1343
01:02:08,920 --> 01:02:11,160
Speaker 6: this way, I may very well be the a hole.

1344
01:02:11,560 --> 01:02:15,160
Speaker 6: I've been doing soft boundaries and shifting things, doing all

1345
01:02:15,240 --> 01:02:17,600
Speaker 6: the laundry during the week, so there isn't any for

1346
01:02:17,640 --> 01:02:20,720
Speaker 6: them to do, instead of being more direct and allowing

1347
01:02:20,760 --> 01:02:23,200
Speaker 6: them to understand the full picture of the distress this

1348
01:02:23,240 --> 01:02:27,400
Speaker 6: has caused me. I'm gonna interject one thing, go for it.

1349
01:02:27,920 --> 01:02:33,240
Speaker 6: I don't think that avoiding the conversation and doing the

1350
01:02:33,320 --> 01:02:35,800
Speaker 6: laundry so they don't have any to do is setting

1351
01:02:35,840 --> 01:02:36,840
Speaker 6: a soft boundary.

1352
01:02:36,960 --> 01:02:38,960
Speaker 7: I think that's just continually avoiding it.

1353
01:02:39,640 --> 01:02:40,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, She's like, I'm.

1354
01:02:40,560 --> 01:02:42,480
Speaker 6: Doing all the laundry earlier in the week, so there's

1355
01:02:42,520 --> 01:02:45,160
Speaker 6: just none that they can do, and that's my soft boundary.

1356
01:02:45,840 --> 01:02:47,240
Speaker 7: Yeah, that's just avoidance.

1357
01:02:47,360 --> 01:02:50,560
Speaker 8: Yeah, because setting a boundary is like telling it to

1358
01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:53,000
Speaker 8: them and be like, no, yeah, this is my schedule,

1359
01:02:53,080 --> 01:02:55,680
Speaker 8: don't do it. But I mean, I guess you could

1360
01:02:55,760 --> 01:02:59,640
Speaker 8: look at it as it's like, oh, like we've set

1361
01:02:59,640 --> 01:03:02,320
Speaker 8: this bound this is what I'm gonna do to just

1362
01:03:02,400 --> 01:03:05,480
Speaker 8: kind of help enforce it. Yeah, yes, but I definitely

1363
01:03:05,560 --> 01:03:06,800
Speaker 8: understand how it's avoided.

1364
01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:10,000
Speaker 6: Yeah, it feels more like these soft boundaries versus hard

1365
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:12,800
Speaker 6: boundaries is just like I'm not gonna talk about them

1366
01:03:12,800 --> 01:03:14,960
Speaker 6: because it makes me uncomfortable, versus oh my god, I

1367
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:18,959
Speaker 6: have to actually set the boundary, like just just tell

1368
01:03:19,040 --> 01:03:22,360
Speaker 6: them stop doing my laundry. Well, I'm still not happy

1369
01:03:22,360 --> 01:03:24,080
Speaker 6: that she got off the phone with me and called

1370
01:03:24,080 --> 01:03:27,120
Speaker 6: my husband. I don't think it was quite as calculated

1371
01:03:27,160 --> 01:03:30,600
Speaker 6: as some of you are interpreting. I genuinely do think

1372
01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:33,160
Speaker 6: she jumped to the dramatics of what our phone call

1373
01:03:33,280 --> 01:03:37,400
Speaker 6: was about, not necessarily an outright lie, more of an

1374
01:03:37,440 --> 01:03:42,040
Speaker 6: extreme misunderstanding. Please note, my husband did not automatically believe

1375
01:03:42,080 --> 01:03:44,960
Speaker 6: her and fully listen to my side. He also backed

1376
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:47,400
Speaker 6: me up that she would not be babysitting this week

1377
01:03:47,440 --> 01:03:50,320
Speaker 6: before we even got the chance to talk. They did

1378
01:03:50,320 --> 01:03:53,120
Speaker 6: talk about other things on the call, such as upcoming

1379
01:03:53,160 --> 01:03:55,800
Speaker 6: appointments and another argument that they are in.

1380
01:03:55,720 --> 01:03:57,000
Speaker 7: That I'm staying out of.

1381
01:03:57,560 --> 01:03:59,400
Speaker 6: You'll be happy to know that that was a hard

1382
01:03:59,440 --> 01:04:02,240
Speaker 6: boundary to both of them. This argument has nothing to

1383
01:04:02,280 --> 01:04:05,040
Speaker 6: do with me, and I will not be involved. This

1384
01:04:05,200 --> 01:04:07,640
Speaker 6: is not an option for me with the situation regarding

1385
01:04:07,640 --> 01:04:11,360
Speaker 6: my daughter, as I will absolutely be involved and invested

1386
01:04:11,400 --> 01:04:12,600
Speaker 6: in those conversations.

1387
01:04:13,120 --> 01:04:14,120
Speaker 7: I'm really not sure.

1388
01:04:14,640 --> 01:04:15,720
Speaker 8: I don't really know either.

1389
01:04:15,920 --> 01:04:19,360
Speaker 7: I'm just kind of like, girl, set the hard boundary.

1390
01:04:19,560 --> 01:04:22,600
Speaker 8: Yeah, I think you gotta. Yeah, I guess thinking back

1391
01:04:22,680 --> 01:04:25,400
Speaker 8: to like what I was saying earlier, like, yeah, I

1392
01:04:25,440 --> 01:04:27,280
Speaker 8: feel like that, I guess wouldn't be a way to

1393
01:04:27,440 --> 01:04:30,080
Speaker 8: enforce the boundary, like doing it ahead of time.

1394
01:04:30,240 --> 01:04:33,600
Speaker 6: It is, but then it's just negating the need for

1395
01:04:33,680 --> 01:04:34,200
Speaker 6: the boundary.

1396
01:04:34,280 --> 01:04:37,000
Speaker 8: Yeah exactly, I think that's what it is. Like, I

1397
01:04:37,280 --> 01:04:40,680
Speaker 8: think to enforce the boundary, you would have to be like, sorry,

1398
01:04:40,760 --> 01:04:42,800
Speaker 8: you need to leave, right, There's.

1399
01:04:42,600 --> 01:04:46,640
Speaker 6: Not a consequence for breaking the boundary, yeah exactly.

1400
01:04:46,720 --> 01:04:48,800
Speaker 8: Like they come over to do your laundry or something

1401
01:04:48,920 --> 01:04:51,360
Speaker 8: or whatever else they're doing and you're just like sorry,

1402
01:04:51,360 --> 01:04:53,960
Speaker 8: can you guys go? Yeah, this is not the time.

1403
01:04:54,280 --> 01:04:56,920
Speaker 8: This is We talked about it it's not the time.

1404
01:04:56,880 --> 01:04:59,760
Speaker 6: Given this, yeah exactly, which I know is a little

1405
01:04:59,760 --> 01:05:03,240
Speaker 6: bit because you're watching the kid totally stop doing this,

1406
01:05:03,360 --> 01:05:05,320
Speaker 6: go play with the kid that you're here to babysit.

1407
01:05:05,480 --> 01:05:07,400
Speaker 8: Yeah, And it's stressful because it's like you could like

1408
01:05:07,880 --> 01:05:11,120
Speaker 8: be uh, you know, it's just because that can cause

1409
01:05:11,160 --> 01:05:13,080
Speaker 8: conflict and that's like the reason you would want to

1410
01:05:13,080 --> 01:05:15,680
Speaker 8: avoid it. But you just have to just say to

1411
01:05:15,800 --> 01:05:18,840
Speaker 8: matter of factly, don't bring anger into the situation.

1412
01:05:19,480 --> 01:05:22,640
Speaker 6: Is a matter of fact boundary straightforward, Yeah, yeah, exactly.

1413
01:05:23,200 --> 01:05:25,440
Speaker 6: I have no desire to go no contact with my

1414
01:05:25,480 --> 01:05:29,360
Speaker 6: in laws. While this situation has been incredibly stressful, I

1415
01:05:29,440 --> 01:05:32,600
Speaker 6: do believe they are good people who mean well. I

1416
01:05:32,640 --> 01:05:34,720
Speaker 6: do think I have learned I need to stick up

1417
01:05:34,720 --> 01:05:37,640
Speaker 6: for myself a bit more. I also think my husband

1418
01:05:37,640 --> 01:05:40,000
Speaker 6: and I need to work on being a united front

1419
01:05:40,040 --> 01:05:43,120
Speaker 6: where she is involved. He agrees, and we are working

1420
01:05:43,160 --> 01:05:47,440
Speaker 6: on that. The family meeting will happen. As I previously stated,

1421
01:05:47,560 --> 01:05:50,160
Speaker 6: I do believe it is a good tradition that will

1422
01:05:50,200 --> 01:05:53,640
Speaker 6: only grow more beneficial over time. I plan to put

1423
01:05:53,680 --> 01:05:56,160
Speaker 6: it all out there so they have the clear picture

1424
01:05:56,760 --> 01:05:58,400
Speaker 6: that is the end of that story.

1425
01:05:58,640 --> 01:06:02,480
Speaker 7: Yeah, do that. Put it all out there, tell them exactly.

1426
01:06:02,560 --> 01:06:04,680
Speaker 8: I also agree that being a united front in that

1427
01:06:04,920 --> 01:06:07,560
Speaker 8: sense is a good idea, especially since it's his mom.

1428
01:06:07,840 --> 01:06:09,960
Speaker 7: Yeah, but you's on your side about it.

1429
01:06:10,280 --> 01:06:12,320
Speaker 8: Yeah, so you know all you need to do is

1430
01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:14,720
Speaker 8: have him stand up with you.

1431
01:06:15,200 --> 01:06:15,520
Speaker 7: Yeah.

1432
01:06:15,560 --> 01:06:19,120
Speaker 8: He probably has more power in that situation. You go, Yeah,

1433
01:06:19,440 --> 01:06:22,080
Speaker 8: but yeah, I think you've handled it well. I think

1434
01:06:22,080 --> 01:06:24,600
Speaker 8: you're on the right track. You know what you need

1435
01:06:24,680 --> 01:06:26,240
Speaker 8: to do, Yeah,