Speaker 1: Bunjoro Mijarlota's let's it Taliano for good morning, harlotts. I
Speaker 1: learned that from my gorgeous horseback riding instructor, Jacomo, who
Speaker 1: would always let me ride bare back. Now, welcome to
Speaker 1: episode two of the husband Hunt. It is I, your
Speaker 1: absolutely beautiful, bosomed, the gorgeous dipped in butter cream step mother,
Speaker 1: here to give you the step by step guide for
Speaker 1: finding the husband that has enough guacamole, cake, coin cabbage.
Speaker 1: That's right, mula la to fix your life and your
Speaker 1: face a few times. Now, if you finally screwed your
Speaker 1: head on right and are just joining us, I will
Speaker 1: be a generous bitch and briefly recap episode one, the
Speaker 1: very important first episode Seek, where we go over the
Speaker 1: right environments to seek your prey, such as Michelin Star restaurants,
Speaker 1: cigar our bars, piano lounges, gallos, plastic surgery conventions, oh,
Speaker 1: the Monaco Grand Prix, and how to identify wealth as
Speaker 1: it's more than just fancy watches and cars, it's also
Speaker 1: a healthy hairline. So assuming you've heeded all of my
Speaker 1: advice from episode one and ditch that tragic old life
Speaker 1: of yours that was once wrapped up in synthetic fibers
Speaker 1: and disgusting v nex from the gap. And once you've
Speaker 1: stopped purchasing all of your out from Zara eating all
Speaker 1: of those burrito bowls from Chipotle, we can now move
Speaker 1: on to episode two, Pursue. After we successfully seek our prey,
Speaker 1: identifying whom's the luckiest geriatric candidate is with the deepest pockets,
Speaker 1: it's time we pursue them. Once we know who they are,
Speaker 1: we have to keep track of where they are. Pursuing
Speaker 1: is an art after all, and we are going to
Speaker 1: be implementing the animalistic tactic known as aggressive mimicry. That's
Speaker 1: when you act as the praise pray when you blindside
Speaker 1: them by showing up in their environment or getting an
Speaker 1: invitation to join. Either way, you want them to think
Speaker 1: that they are feasting on you raw, cracking you wide
Speaker 1: open and licking you from tat to tit, when in
Speaker 1: reality you're eating them. But they'll never suspect a thing.
Speaker 1: Pursuing is primeal. It's all about the way we smell, eats, drink, think.
Speaker 1: All of it matters. So we of course must start
Speaker 1: with what not to do, because I know a lot
Speaker 1: of you dildo heads out there are chomping at the
Speaker 1: bit to just talk talk talk, per super super sue.
Speaker 1: After you feel you've done all of the seeking and
Speaker 1: I can't have you destroying our chances without the gate.
Speaker 1: Mother needs you to move out of the house asap.
Speaker 1: So just how seeking must look happenstance pursuing must too.
Speaker 1: It must always feel like an accident, or, to put
Speaker 1: it more romantically, fate. When you have finally put yourself
Speaker 1: in that correct environment, it is time to make contact,
Speaker 1: and I mean official contact, such as introducing yourself and
Speaker 1: starting a proper conversation. I hope you little numbnuts know
Speaker 1: how to talk, because sometimes when you talk to stepmother,
Speaker 1: why it sounds like your mouth is filled with bibles.
Speaker 1: Oh and please bring altoids along that little cracker jack
Speaker 1: breath of yours. The stench practically permeates through my pores.
Speaker 1: So number one, do not act desperate. If anything, always
Speaker 1: act shocked. I don't care if you drove thirteen hours
Speaker 1: to Sun Valley, Idaho to seek your prey in town
Speaker 1: for the billionaires Summit. No one needs to know that
Speaker 1: you put effort into anything other than your outfit. You're
Speaker 1: seeking congratulations, and now your pursuit must begin. And this,
Speaker 1: my dear listeners, where the fun happens, and no one
Speaker 1: likes desperation. Our introductions to our prey must be as
Speaker 1: non predatory as possible. You don't want to scare them
Speaker 1: off by acting like an aggressive cow moving all over
Speaker 1: the goddamn lawn, being so thirsty she's sucking down the
Speaker 1: goddamn watering hole. You want to learn them. Do you
Speaker 1: like the snake in the fucking Garden of Eden, the
Speaker 1: only good character in that book? In my opinion, yes,
Speaker 1: that book. I'm talking about the Bible. You are the apple,
Speaker 1: the delicate little flower, with no ulterior motive other than
Speaker 1: enjoying wherever it is you are. You mustn't act like
Speaker 1: you have to talk to someone, rather make them feel
Speaker 1: honored to be in your presence talking to you. So
Speaker 1: when they do approach, when the seeking has worked and
Speaker 1: the pursuit has begun, after you've batted your lashes or
Speaker 1: tastefully fondled that lechi in your mouth from your Lichi martini,
Speaker 1: you must stay calm and collected. Once they're learned to us,
Speaker 1: you must present as the gorgeous exotic expensive bird. You
Speaker 1: are number two. Stop smelling cheap. You want them to
Speaker 1: take you seriously and smelling cheap it's for the mistress
Speaker 1: of the manner and you want to be the patrona
Speaker 1: that is once again Italian for matron. You can kiss
Speaker 1: that Paris Hilton sent you purchased in high school. Goodbye tattard,
Speaker 1: that cucumber melon body splash or revoir to whatever mid
Speaker 1: Market sent your trapes and your twater round in. I
Speaker 1: don't care if Dulchi and Gobana light blue is technically
Speaker 1: designer and your signature of fragrance. It's time we smell
Speaker 1: rich and I mean really right, educate yourself on the
Speaker 1: most opulent perfumes on the market. You want to smell
Speaker 1: like a living Jackie? Oh not miss Jackie? Hell? Oh?
Speaker 1: And do you love a pun And wasn't that one good?
Speaker 1: And if you can't afford to go to the store
Speaker 1: and buy yourself that bottle of by Rado mohavec Ghost
Speaker 1: or something, oh I don't know, tom Ford black or
Speaker 1: get you can at least get yourself a fucking sample.
Speaker 1: Pheromones translate to sex. Dear, why do you think I
Speaker 1: rock your father's fucking tube socks off every single night.
Speaker 1: Do you know why? Because I smell like the oyster
Speaker 1: he wants to eat. That's right, he loves Brian anyway,
Speaker 1: we want them to cream themselves just standing there smelling us.
Speaker 1: If you don't see a little puddle in their pants
Speaker 1: have either come or pee, then you are not working
Speaker 1: hard enough. A little pee at least means he's close
Speaker 1: to death. Now wants me in conversation. Let them guide it. God,
Speaker 1: please stop acting like and know it all. I know
Speaker 1: you know your way around a target, but let them
Speaker 1: show you the way around their brain. It is important
Speaker 1: that you talk to them about whatever it is they
Speaker 1: want to talk about. Why if they want to talk
Speaker 1: about their roast beef dinner not being soft enough for
Speaker 1: their fucking teeth and then gave them acid reflux and
Speaker 1: now they're switching from private sector privacy, let them you
Speaker 1: love pharmaceuticals, dear, especially when someone works in the industry.
Speaker 1: If they want to talk about how their ex wife
Speaker 1: was a lifeless, unfunny count to never let them buy
Speaker 1: that dream yacht or go helly skiing induge. An adventurous
Speaker 1: man is always good because you can always take out
Speaker 1: life insurance policies. It is important to make our prey
Speaker 1: feel safe and seene and secure, and that we are
Speaker 1: interested in everything they are. We don't want to let
Speaker 1: our little old opinions bleed through. No, no, we want
Speaker 1: to learn, and you must show them that you know,
Speaker 1: you appreciate them. These little skin puddles, these little aging men,
Speaker 1: they really get off on being teachers. They love to
Speaker 1: act wise and mighty. And you are going to do
Speaker 1: no such thing as dumb as stopping that. Now, don't
Speaker 1: freak out. Of course, there are some people who love
Speaker 1: an opinionated gaping hole, but it's important to understand the
Speaker 1: terrain before we go plunging head first into what might
Speaker 1: be a shallow fucking bull. If you graduate from say,
Speaker 1: standing at the bar or pool or lounge, to sitting
Speaker 1: down and sharing a meal, do not be a picky eater.
Speaker 1: These men want to see how you're going to fit
Speaker 1: into their world. So whatever they want to shove down
Speaker 1: their little give it suckers, you're going to too. I
Speaker 1: don't care if you're GFDF whatever the fuck it's rude
Speaker 1: to turn down. Caviare sour cream and belinys, dear, you
Speaker 1: are not a heathen. You only eat the finest things
Speaker 1: in life, and this is always a good test if
Speaker 1: you're unsure as to what they're packing in that bank.
Speaker 1: It's always good to order the most expensive thing or
Speaker 1: five on the menu. And when it comes time to
Speaker 1: talk about your measly little luckluster life, you don't want
Speaker 1: there to be any red flags on your end. Yep,
Speaker 1: that's right. No pets and potentially no family, as they
Speaker 1: can be a real sticks in the mud. So it
Speaker 1: might be important to put that little rotted fluff up
Speaker 1: for adoption and getting estranged. We don't want it to
Speaker 1: become logistically difficult to hop on someone's G five down
Speaker 1: to St. Barts, now do we know? We of course
Speaker 1: put Toby up for adoption, and we no longer speak
Speaker 1: to our five siblings and are absolutely deranged parents who
Speaker 1: we all know are coupon clippers. Ah. And finally, for
Speaker 1: what not to do, and this is very very very
Speaker 1: important that you listen. Do not bring friends as wing people.
Speaker 1: If you bring them, they have to be uglier and
Speaker 1: dumber than you, dear, and that is just that. And
Speaker 1: I know you think that's cruel, but I don't make
Speaker 1: the rules. You are a diamond and everybody else is
Speaker 1: a semi precious stool or plastic. If you're smart, let
Speaker 1: me tell you a time. And I did the dumb,
Speaker 1: dumb thing and brought a wing woman who was not
Speaker 1: uglier and dumber than me. I brought my ex friend
Speaker 1: Kelly Chrysler von Heaton, yes of the Chrysler family, out
Speaker 1: to seek and pursue with me. Now I knew this
Speaker 1: big corona I was seeking was going to be at
Speaker 1: a gala called Big Wigs for Bosses. Yes, the foundation
Speaker 1: that provides literal big wigs to bosses. Now I bought
Speaker 1: two tickets with my hard earned cash from suing a
Speaker 1: date for burning my labia. He happened to wake up
Speaker 1: and had no idea. He finger blasted me with hot
Speaker 1: sauce filled hands, and well, you know you can always
Speaker 1: settle when someone does damage. Anyway, I thought it would
Speaker 1: be a good idea if I brought Kelly along. After all,
Speaker 1: she was rich and looked it and therefore made me
Speaker 1: look richer. She also had an eye for some of
Speaker 1: the finer details I was blind to at the time,
Speaker 1: because of course she grew up with a Ritchie rich.
Speaker 1: For example, she turned me onto the fact that some
Speaker 1: ritchie riches wear Meryls and Cassio watches, awful baggy shorts
Speaker 1: from ari I, and bucket hats. Oh, they even traped
Speaker 1: surround in free promotional T shirts one might find from
Speaker 1: a T shirt cannon at a football game. She opened
Speaker 1: my eyes to the fact that some dirty, filthy white
Speaker 1: whales a k a. Trillionaires like to live in their
Speaker 1: former skin as a way to camouflage themselves from hunters
Speaker 1: like me. But thanks to Kelly, no one could hide
Speaker 1: from us. Kelly, on the other hand, was five ft
Speaker 1: nine Princeton grad who looked like she was based off
Speaker 1: of an American girl doll the hair, green eyes, perfect
Speaker 1: little tear drop tits. Well, that night Kelly came in
Speaker 1: and blind sided my dumbass and hunted my prey. I
Speaker 1: had finally lured Bart the Tingle a k a. Chip Tingle,
Speaker 1: the inventor of Wrangle, over to the Ice Sculpture. The
Speaker 1: ice Sculpture, which, by the way, was a huge wig.
Speaker 1: I learned him away from his date because I had
Speaker 1: done my due diligence. I had sought him, clocked him,
Speaker 1: knew exactly where he was going to be, and this
Speaker 1: was my pursuit, and after I lured him away from
Speaker 1: his date, I accidentally got my fingers stuck underneath this
Speaker 1: giant wig bust right when he came in and started
Speaker 1: to delicately defrost my finger with his Kelly came up
Speaker 1: from behind, and her expensive scent alone made him lose me.
Speaker 1: She was quick to point out the obvious, the obvious
Speaker 1: way that I could get unstuck, which was simply by
Speaker 1: removing my hand, and he was so taken with her
Speaker 1: in that moment that I lost him. So the lesson is,
Speaker 1: never bring a hunter who can out hunt you. It's
Speaker 1: too risky and will happen. Why, it turns out, Kelly
Speaker 1: never gave a fuck about me. She used me like
Speaker 1: I used her, except she had better tactics. She knew
Speaker 1: I was planning on going to the big Wig Gala
Speaker 1: to find my big wig pringled man himself, Chip Tingle,
Speaker 1: and once she knew I was seeking Chip Tingle, once
Speaker 1: she knew I did all of the work to seek
Speaker 1: Seek Seek, and she knew I was on the pursuit,
Speaker 1: while she was just the lazy parasite and tacked herself
Speaker 1: onto me and is now living on his mansion on
Speaker 1: the cape. Well, of course, we must talk about what
Speaker 1: to do now that we know what not to do
Speaker 1: when we pursue. It's important that we are pursuing with
Speaker 1: the personality that they want to be around. Now. I
Speaker 1: know I said don't be too opinionated, but that doesn't
Speaker 1: mean don't have a point of view. Once you find
Speaker 1: out what kind of personality your richie rich likes, why
Speaker 1: mimic it. It's not that hard. Just act like the
Speaker 1: person they want to see. Remember, you are embodying a
Speaker 1: creation of their dreams. When you are pursuing, it is
Speaker 1: important to act like something they have never seen before,
Speaker 1: to act like the thing they have been dreaming of.
Speaker 1: The pursuit is all about fulfilling their wishes. Why they
Speaker 1: are finally figuring out that they could have it all.
Speaker 1: And that's right, it's with little old you. So do
Speaker 1: understand the kind of personality type your little skin sack
Speaker 1: wants to deal with. For example, the manic pixie dream
Speaker 1: girl always the popular one for the emotionally repressed billionaires
Speaker 1: out there. They love this type. They love having you
Speaker 1: around to insert life and Joan Vie within them and
Speaker 1: also depporrid emotional drama. Why it's exciting for them. They
Speaker 1: get to feel like the hero in both scenario. They
Speaker 1: also get to feel revived and young and fresh. Perhaps
Speaker 1: take a molly with them, dance like you know, a
Speaker 1: sexy little vixen in front of them, and for them
Speaker 1: make them feel like they're the only person lucky enough
Speaker 1: in the world to be on the wild personality ride.
Speaker 1: That is, you go braw this in a white T
Speaker 1: shirt where little jean shorts, show them what it's like
Speaker 1: to be a completely emotionally reculous person without ever divulging
Speaker 1: too many of your issues. Remember, being a manic pixie
Speaker 1: dream girl means that you're there to service them. By
Speaker 1: being wild and free, you are boosting them and their value.
Speaker 1: You're making them more interesting. You're making their life more enticing.
Speaker 1: Why you being a freak nasty, little emotional whore could
Speaker 1: make their business adventures more exciting. You could be the
Speaker 1: life of the party on a business trip in Abisa.
Speaker 1: And that's what he wants from you. He wants you
Speaker 1: to enhance him. Then, of course, the domineering bitch. It's
Speaker 1: always a suave richie rich that likes this, like a
Speaker 1: George Clooney type. They want some smarty pants lawyer to
Speaker 1: march into their life and say, Jerry, ah, absolutely object.
Speaker 1: They want you to boss them around. Why they're tired
Speaker 1: of being bosses in the boardroom. They want you to
Speaker 1: be their life boss. You march in and a wide leg,
Speaker 1: pinch strike pant from some gorgeous Italian designer, and you
Speaker 1: tell them how to run their life. They are not
Speaker 1: in charge when they live the office you are. You
Speaker 1: tell them where you're going to be having dates. You
Speaker 1: tell them where you're going to be having drinks. You
Speaker 1: tell them exactly what time you want to eat. You
Speaker 1: run that rolodexs, you run that calendar. Now, Oh, they
Speaker 1: don't want domineering. Why a cute and quiet brainiac is
Speaker 1: always good for a fellow cute and quiet brainiac looking
Speaker 1: for a tech nerd to seek your little things into
Speaker 1: some of that you can suck up a bunch of
Speaker 1: stocks and they're publicly traded tech company. Why they always
Speaker 1: like it when you're quiet, but you bubble up with
Speaker 1: some sort of cookie factoid about physics or math. Be
Speaker 1: sure that you can quote Aristotle and Socrates, and that
Speaker 1: you've done your spark noting of Stephen Hawkings writings and
Speaker 1: of course infinite jest and oh maybe the tipping point.
Speaker 1: These little brainiacs love someone that's quiet, but then in
Speaker 1: the bedroom becomes an absolute vixen. They always love a
Speaker 1: little piss on their chest and a little ship on
Speaker 1: their floor. Never forget that. And if you need little inspiration,
Speaker 1: it's always helpful to look up that mousy little count
Speaker 1: Ana Kendrick. Now, another personality type in the last personality
Speaker 1: type not to get confused with the manic Pixie dream Girl,
Speaker 1: is the independent free Spirit. This is the personality type
Speaker 1: of a richie rich who wants to act not needed,
Speaker 1: but also wants to fund your entire life. The man
Speaker 1: of Pixie dream Girl, why they need the man The
Speaker 1: independent free Spirit they don't need anyone. They just need
Speaker 1: you to watch them beyond their massive four wheeler in
Speaker 1: their camp at Burning Man. They want to wear goggles
Speaker 1: on their heads, and hell, maybe they even have braces.
Speaker 1: Maybe they've gone and followed fish on tour for who
Speaker 1: knows how long. The independent free Spirit why they're covered
Speaker 1: in little tattoos, sort of markers of their past stories. Now,
Speaker 1: if you want to go full in being, the independent
Speaker 1: free spirit is an investment. It's important that you look
Speaker 1: the part. Because all of these old these typically men
Speaker 1: that have a panache for collecting records and of course
Speaker 1: classic rock and I love any kind of Americana will
Speaker 1: absolutely eat an indie free spirit up again, all these
Speaker 1: personality types are enhancing their life in some way. Now,
Speaker 1: do shop for the occasions. I know I say this
Speaker 1: in every episode, but it is so important when we're
Speaker 1: pursuing that you really really nail the looks. We can
Speaker 1: always keep the tags on. Just make sure you're on
Speaker 1: a sweaty glutton so the ink doesn't run. We want
Speaker 1: to look like we belong in whatever environment that pursuit
Speaker 1: takes us. While we're in Miami, of course, we're an
Speaker 1: Edito silk skiing in Aspen, obviously among clair Onesie with
Speaker 1: a matching chinchilla hat. I don't know how to ski,
Speaker 1: no problem, Just look like you do. Why are the
Speaker 1: goddamn boots in the lodge carry a fucking tennis racket?
Speaker 1: Think of this as Halloween, except you're the only trick insight.
Speaker 1: Pursuing is simply convincing them that they need to have
Speaker 1: you around. A successful pursuit, and dear, you'll have them
Speaker 1: eating from the palm of your hand. Next thing you know,
Speaker 1: you'll be on to capture mode. But we won't cover
Speaker 1: that until episode three. Now, since all of you little
Speaker 1: freaks seem to have peanuts for brains, please remember that
Speaker 1: pursuing is delicate. If they don't answer your call first
Speaker 1: thing in the morning, that's okay. In fact, don't even
Speaker 1: call them. Be confident enough in your pursuit that they
Speaker 1: will come running back to you. You never want to
Speaker 1: be overbearing. Never I want to come off as of needy.
Speaker 1: Save that for later, Dear, For now, let the pursuit
Speaker 1: speak for itself. Why you've had a great time. You've
Speaker 1: gone on great dates, You've gone on great dances, You've
Speaker 1: gone on great trips. Now it's time for stepmother to
Speaker 1: answer your question. Hi, step Mom, So my now exploy
Speaker 1: friend for a couple with me, saying that I was
Speaker 1: too mentally stable for him and that he cannot fix
Speaker 1: me and therefore he cannot love me, which is super toxic.
Speaker 1: But I'm feel sad, So give me some advice. I
Speaker 1: want to know how I can get over this. I
Speaker 1: am more despending millions, um, but I need something stronger
Speaker 1: than that. Well, first starters dear listener, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for calling, and Stepmommy is proud of you for
Speaker 1: spending millions. I would advise for you to go and
Speaker 1: spend billions, of course, not of your own money, but
Speaker 1: of somebody else's. It's quite a thrill. Now. Some people
Speaker 1: are born perfect, and you do sound like you join
Speaker 1: me and the ranks as one of them. As it
Speaker 1: pertains to your rather deranged X, I would suggest sending
Speaker 1: him a lego set, something very complicated to build, as
Speaker 1: it appears that he needs something to transfix his time
Speaker 1: with and focus on fiddling with something else like plastic
Speaker 1: rather than your perfect brain. Now there's nothing that a
Speaker 1: little trip and dip into the Aegean didn't fix for
Speaker 1: dear mummy, So I would advise you to take a
Speaker 1: trip on a yacht and completely escape avoid reality. When
Speaker 1: things get tough, say no, not for me. You're too
Speaker 1: good to be wasting your time on being heartbroken, dear,
Speaker 1: and there's a whole entire world of magnificence and complete
Speaker 1: idiots waiting for you to take advantage of them. So
Speaker 1: trot off now. I want to see you at Pasha
Speaker 1: and Abisa, not pouring your tears over some loser that
Speaker 1: should be better left locked in his room doing his legos. Hello, So,
Speaker 1: like I work, like great yard chip, and like the
Speaker 1: McDonald's doesn't open until five am. And if my ship
Speaker 1: doesn't pencil four, should I wait for McDonald's to open
Speaker 1: or should I just go to sleep? Wow? What a
Speaker 1: stunning question. Thank you for calling in. Now let me
Speaker 1: teach you a little tip. It's called postmates. That's right.
Speaker 1: You don't wait for anything in this life. If there's
Speaker 1: one thing that I've taught you, you need to completely
Speaker 1: spoil yourself rotten. So the second you get off work,
Speaker 1: you run your ass home and you get into your
Speaker 1: most coziest, gorgeous silk pajamas, into your fronte sheets, and
Speaker 1: you simply open up your phone and order McDonald's and
Speaker 1: pay someone else to bring it to you. There will
Speaker 1: be no waiting in the world of stepmother, and I
Speaker 1: don't want you to start waiting as well. So no,
Speaker 1: don't wait, have someone bring it to you. Hey, step mom.
Speaker 1: So my dilemma is that I'm dating someone amazing. We're
Speaker 1: in a great relationship. Things are going super well. It's
Speaker 1: really mature. We communicate better than I've ever communicated with
Speaker 1: anyone in my life. There's a lot of trust and
Speaker 1: respect there. He's a wonderful person and I have no
Speaker 1: reason to believe that anything bad is going to happen,
Speaker 1: and yet I'm constantly thinking that something bad is going
Speaker 1: to happen, like the relationship is just gonna unravel or
Speaker 1: it's gonna fizzle out or end really dramatically, And it's
Speaker 1: getting to the point where it's kind of like all
Speaker 1: I can think about when we're together, like having the time.
Speaker 1: This is getting at the end, even though there's nothing
Speaker 1: in reality that leads me to think of this way.
Speaker 1: So basically, I'm just really in my head, acting psychotic,
Speaker 1: trying desperately not to let it affect my relationship. And
Speaker 1: I feel insane because there's nothing there to be worried about, really,
Speaker 1: and we talked about it all the time and he's
Speaker 1: very comforting and lovely. Um, there's just something in me
Speaker 1: that like still hasn't quite settled into the safety of
Speaker 1: this amazing relationship. So I would love your advice. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much for listening. Um, anything that you can
Speaker 1: share to help me, just like calm the funk down
Speaker 1: and enjoy this. Be so great thanks so much by seven. Well, well, well,
Speaker 1: what a complicated question for starters. Snap the fuck out
Speaker 1: of it. If I would have dropped us absolutely stunning
Speaker 1: ice cream sunday in front of your face, would you
Speaker 1: just sit there and watch it melt? No, you'd pick
Speaker 1: up the boon and abour bit by bit in, enjoying
Speaker 1: every bite as it slurps down your gorgeous hole. So
Speaker 1: that's what I need you to start doing in your relationship.
Speaker 1: Stop making up these false realities, dear that he's not
Speaker 1: having fun with you. What you need to do is
Speaker 1: wake up in the morning, stare at yourself in the mirror,
Speaker 1: and tell yourself you deserve it. Because when we feel
Speaker 1: deserving of all of the richest life has to offer,
Speaker 1: why then we start enjoying them. So please do me
Speaker 1: a fucking favor and start enjoying it one more. That
Speaker 1: will a measly ounce of time in that little head
Speaker 1: of yours. And you're going to completely drive yourself up
Speaker 1: the goddamn wall. And it sounds like you already are.
Speaker 1: And there's nothing more unattractive than some stunning fellow future
Speaker 1: stepmother not fully indulging in what life has to offer.
Speaker 1: We're only here for a short time now, darling, and
Speaker 1: I would hate to see you let it go to waste,
Speaker 1: So get your head out of your fucking ass and
Speaker 1: start living in the reality that is your cozy little
Speaker 1: Kashmir cablenet of a relationship. I remember your controlled no
Speaker 1: one else but you, Hi step kind of like fun
Speaker 1: exciting question. So I'm in my early twenties and because
Speaker 1: of a condition I had, I could not have anne
Speaker 1: trade effects. So quite recently and I started seeing someone
Speaker 1: and do thing maybe feel comfortable and everything, and so
Speaker 1: honestly I just started having connetative sects. Ah. But it's
Speaker 1: a very exciting and new and like I just wanted
Speaker 1: to ask your advice on like, you know, how do
Speaker 1: you keep it like spice up in the bedroom, favorite positions,
Speaker 1: like you know, like what should I be doing and
Speaker 1: all that job because I feel like you just know
Speaker 1: sexty time. Um, yeah, thank you so much for taking
Speaker 1: the time to listen to this by congratulations on finally
Speaker 1: being able to get penetrated. That is so exciting for
Speaker 1: you and stepmother is proud. Now that I would suggest
Speaker 1: is figuring out what gets you off. I mean completely,
Speaker 1: I mean to the point that you're squirting all over
Speaker 1: your room. The ceiling is soaking wet. Stildos, ding dong's,
Speaker 1: ding lings, vibrators, anal beads, anal plugs, anything you can
Speaker 1: stick in stick out that you can clean, My dear,
Speaker 1: you should try it. I highly suggest investing in a
Speaker 1: sex toy or thirty and figuring out what it is
Speaker 1: that will make you skyrocket to the moon and back,
Speaker 1: so that once you have a partner that you want
Speaker 1: to prowl around the sheets with, you can absolutely blow
Speaker 1: your mind. We don't know what we want until we
Speaker 1: figured it out for ourselves, So I suggest taking a
Speaker 1: deep dive into your clitteress and figuring out what exactly
Speaker 1: it is she wants, how she likes to be touched,
Speaker 1: and then once you're fully introduced to her, you can
Speaker 1: successfully introduce her to someone else. Now. In terms of
Speaker 1: stepmother dear is favorite positions, I do love a classic
Speaker 1: face down us up doggie style, Call me a pure
Speaker 1: bred Doberman honey, because mother needs her back blown out
Speaker 1: and that is what I will get. I like to
Speaker 1: be plowed so hard, doggie that my knees crack. Another
Speaker 1: classic position that I highly suggest is, of course reverse
Speaker 1: cow girl. This is always fun too if you have
Speaker 1: a vintage Versacci chapter where or potentially a gorgeous Chanel
Speaker 1: Western collection hat Now, I would advise these positions do
Speaker 1: require some power, so please go to the pilates class.
Speaker 1: I signed you up for enough dilly dallying and start
Speaker 1: getting that core in check. What a stunning episode that was.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for all of your questions, for
Speaker 1: writing in and for listening to your stepmother. Now I
Speaker 1: hope that you will be joining us next week for
Speaker 1: episode three, as it is very important to the success
Speaker 1: of your future life. How will you please run to
Speaker 1: the store. Your father's balls are in gorge from exploding
Speaker 1: too much in my mouth, and I need to pick
Speaker 1: up his medication to relieve his prostate TATA