1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:03,720 Speaker 1: Do you think I'm acting free and piling free. That's 2 00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:08,119 Speaker 1: what Kanye asked Van, or actually the entire newsroom of TMZ. 3 00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:13,120 Speaker 1: Van's response, most notably, I actually don't think you're thinking anything. 4 00:00:13,240 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 1: I think what you're doing right now is actually the 5 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:20,920 Speaker 1: absence of thought. He said, real world, real life consequences 6 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:25,439 Speaker 1: behind everything that you just said. What he said was 7 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:28,840 Speaker 1: that slavery was a choice. You all remember when Kanye 8 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:32,000 Speaker 1: said slavery was a choice. Well, from that moment on 9 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:38,080 Speaker 1: My Friend guest on Today's Naked podcast, Van Lathan has 10 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:40,600 Speaker 1: been using his words to speak for those who can't 11 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:45,159 Speaker 1: necessarily speak for themselves, but more importantly give us a 12 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:49,919 Speaker 1: different change, a different perspective, a different breath of fresh air, 13 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,080 Speaker 1: if you will, in a world of people who think 14 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:56,280 Speaker 1: they have something to say. On the podcast, Van Lathan 15 00:00:57,080 --> 00:01:14,000 Speaker 1: literally is naked. Every champion and carry champions, to be 16 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:17,360 Speaker 1: a Champion of Champion and carry Champion and carry Champion 17 00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:20,680 Speaker 1: of Champion and carry Champion and carry Champion, Raiders, raiders 18 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:23,960 Speaker 1: and sports and entertainment can naked. Weird in the world 19 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:27,000 Speaker 1: were vulnerable considered, we come and remove the vail from 20 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 1: entertainment's elite. It's a difference between with it's real and 21 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:33,160 Speaker 1: with the public seats. So here's your favorite celebrities behind 22 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:36,360 Speaker 1: the scenes. It's refreshing up then the whole story specific 23 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:38,640 Speaker 1: life or to rendevent, to shake the person that you 24 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:41,759 Speaker 1: Henry got a champion and carry champion. They girl, you didn't. 25 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:44,800 Speaker 1: It's the greatest in sports and entertainment. Can naked every 26 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:48,000 Speaker 1: champion and carry champions. To be a champion of champion, 27 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:50,800 Speaker 1: they carry champion. They girl didn't he got a champion? 28 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:53,760 Speaker 1: Then carry champion and carry champion. Raiders, freeds and sports 29 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:57,200 Speaker 1: and entertainment and naked Wi. Hey, everybody, welcome back to 30 00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:00,600 Speaker 1: another edition and naked um. So here we go. We 31 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:03,760 Speaker 1: have lots to discuss. I went on a vacation. I'm 32 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:05,560 Speaker 1: gonna take two minutes and just tell you what happened 33 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:08,000 Speaker 1: before we get to van. I went on a vacation, 34 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:10,840 Speaker 1: and you know I could, I could complain, So I'm 35 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:13,960 Speaker 1: complain for five minutes. But I learned a lot about myself. 36 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:16,919 Speaker 1: I decided to go to France. That's what I try 37 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:18,760 Speaker 1: to do every year. When I can, I save up 38 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 1: I may get the best trip ever. I land in France. 39 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:25,560 Speaker 1: There is no luggage. My luggage somehow got lost in Amsterdam, 40 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:28,120 Speaker 1: and who knows when I'm gonna get it. They've located it. 41 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:29,600 Speaker 1: But if I can find it and get it to 42 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:33,440 Speaker 1: me before I leave France, question mark. I'm here for 43 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:37,560 Speaker 1: almost ten days, no clothes, no toothbrush, no no face wash, 44 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:43,880 Speaker 1: no underwear, no brawl. Knew nothing in France. So I 45 00:02:43,919 --> 00:02:46,680 Speaker 1: want to feel a way. But I'm like, effort, settle in, 46 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:49,920 Speaker 1: maybe it'll come, maybe it won't. I gotta go shopping 47 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:52,120 Speaker 1: and give me some basics. And I'm about to become 48 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:55,280 Speaker 1: a full minimalist. Of course, you know, thus Americans travel 49 00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:57,760 Speaker 1: with these big ass bags. I had a huge ass bag, 50 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 1: like the size of children, Like I could have put 51 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:03,120 Speaker 1: two toddlers in this huge luggage that I had. So 52 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:06,079 Speaker 1: I decided to buy one of those European carry ons 53 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,800 Speaker 1: where you know, you can put like a shoot in 54 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:10,680 Speaker 1: a sock. And I was like, cool, I'm using this 55 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:13,560 Speaker 1: the whole time. I'll move around Europe. I'll buy me 56 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:17,079 Speaker 1: some essentials and that's it. And I wanted to see 57 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:20,880 Speaker 1: if I could do it. And y'all guess what, Yes, 58 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:24,799 Speaker 1: I did it. And I was like, yo, imagine what 59 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:28,840 Speaker 1: two things? Two things biggest takeaways for me. Your attitude 60 00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:32,120 Speaker 1: changes everything in your life. My homegirl who was with me, 61 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:34,920 Speaker 1: I love her. She's hella negative though, and she was like, oh, 62 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:37,920 Speaker 1: that sucks, it's awful, it's awful. Some other people we 63 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:40,000 Speaker 1: were with were like kind of complaining and belly aching 64 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 1: for me, and I said, you, guys, I don't want 65 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:44,520 Speaker 1: to hear it. I said, I'm trying to stay positive. 66 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:46,600 Speaker 1: And if you all remind me how pissed you would 67 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:48,960 Speaker 1: be if that happened to you, It's not gonna make 68 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,280 Speaker 1: me feel better. I'm gonna tell you one thing about me, 69 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,680 Speaker 1: the older I get, I hate negative people. I hate 70 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:55,920 Speaker 1: negative energy. I do not want to be around it. 71 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:58,120 Speaker 1: I nip that in the bud right away, because no 72 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:02,400 Speaker 1: one has the time. My pet peeve is negative energy. 73 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:05,280 Speaker 1: If you want to piss me off, be stank around 74 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:07,560 Speaker 1: me for no damn reason. Excuse my friends. I'm pretty 75 00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:11,960 Speaker 1: sure they're gonna cuss some of this out, cuss and cut. Meanwhile, 76 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:15,280 Speaker 1: the day before I get ready to leave, they call 77 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:19,320 Speaker 1: me and say, we found your luggage. My luggage has 78 00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:21,839 Speaker 1: arrived at one of my one of my little boutique 79 00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:24,320 Speaker 1: Parisian hotels that I stay at with my boujie self 80 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:27,240 Speaker 1: and my Luggagy was waiting for me when I got 81 00:04:27,279 --> 00:04:29,599 Speaker 1: there on Friday, just in time for me to come 82 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:36,080 Speaker 1: home on Saturday. Koco was like, praise, that's Koko barking. Guys, 83 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:39,279 Speaker 1: she's here. As I record that's my dog. She's like, good, 84 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:43,200 Speaker 1: thank you. Yeah. So my luggage was here here there Europe. 85 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:45,440 Speaker 1: I don't know where I am. I'm jetlagged right now, 86 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:48,880 Speaker 1: forgive me. But the lesson is it's really how you 87 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:51,000 Speaker 1: look at life. And with that, I welcome in our 88 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:54,240 Speaker 1: next guest Bandlethan you all remember him, I'm sure, most 89 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:57,000 Speaker 1: notably from TMZ. He was a black guy on TMZ 90 00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:59,599 Speaker 1: who always had great things to say different perspectives, but 91 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,320 Speaker 1: he made himself known earlier as I talked about it 92 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:04,880 Speaker 1: in the pre role when he went at Kanye. Kanye 93 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,760 Speaker 1: was saying slavery was a choice. He was having a 94 00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:12,760 Speaker 1: Kanye moment, which he does often, and he challenged those 95 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,640 Speaker 1: in the newsroom of TMZ. If y'all don't think I'm 96 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:17,240 Speaker 1: a free thinker, tell me did it up? And then 97 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:19,920 Speaker 1: like I just read no, I think what you're doing 98 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:23,080 Speaker 1: is actually the absence of thought. You're not a freethinker. 99 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:25,839 Speaker 1: You're not thinking by saying slavery was a choice. Their 100 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:29,279 Speaker 1: consequences to what you're saying. And he let him have it. 101 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:31,960 Speaker 1: I'm gonna estimate a nice minute. But he didn't go 102 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,640 Speaker 1: off on him. He just was like, come on, man, 103 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:37,080 Speaker 1: be better, think better, think differently. There are people these 104 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:39,400 Speaker 1: are these are things that you're talking about that really 105 00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:44,560 Speaker 1: have historical implications and you're just talking freely. You're not 106 00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:49,520 Speaker 1: thinking freely. I'm paraphrasing. But since then, I've watched his 107 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:53,600 Speaker 1: career grow in different ways. Right, he was no longer 108 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:56,080 Speaker 1: at TMZ. I think you know they parted ways. That's 109 00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:57,960 Speaker 1: that's an official way that I'm going to use it. 110 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:02,440 Speaker 1: And he got his podcast and he has this great podcast. 111 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:07,159 Speaker 1: But before that he had been working quietly and behind 112 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:09,840 Speaker 1: the scenes on other projects, plenty of projects that I'm 113 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:12,800 Speaker 1: sure many of us didn't know about. But he won 114 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:17,520 Speaker 1: an Oscar Academy, would win a Van Lathan is on 115 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:22,040 Speaker 1: Naked today. I mean that to me is amazing. A 116 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:24,919 Speaker 1: kid from Bratton Rouge, Louisiana who had dreams, all of 117 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:27,200 Speaker 1: these dreams that many of you have heard about. You 118 00:06:27,279 --> 00:06:29,240 Speaker 1: moved to a city you want to see things come through. 119 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:31,839 Speaker 1: You want to do different things, and he was able 120 00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:34,400 Speaker 1: to do it. Two Distant Strangers was amazing. It was 121 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:38,320 Speaker 1: a short that won an Oscar and had Joey Badass 122 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:40,560 Speaker 1: and it was it was amazing. It really was well done, 123 00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:42,160 Speaker 1: and I was happy to see that Van was a 124 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:45,320 Speaker 1: producer on it, and he gets into it on the podcast, 125 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:48,120 Speaker 1: we'll talk about it, and he won an Academy award. 126 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:51,720 Speaker 1: That is something that the average person cannot say. We 127 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:55,200 Speaker 1: start off the podcast by talking about his book. He 128 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:57,800 Speaker 1: wrote a book, and I kind of said, just in passing, 129 00:06:57,839 --> 00:07:00,520 Speaker 1: everybody's writing a book, but this book was different that 130 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:05,960 Speaker 1: crazy and tire. Van Lathan is really talking about transformation 131 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:11,240 Speaker 1: and being caught up in something or a way of 132 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:15,680 Speaker 1: life that you're not necessarily familiar with as toxic or unhealthy, 133 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:18,600 Speaker 1: being caught up in a way of life that you're 134 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:22,440 Speaker 1: not so familiar with that is considered toxic or unhealthy. 135 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:24,679 Speaker 1: And we get into a lot of different things because 136 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:26,960 Speaker 1: we just don't talk about the books. That's what Van does. 137 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:33,560 Speaker 1: But sit back, relax, enjoy it. It's pretty juicy, Champion, 138 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:40,200 Speaker 1: And so I wanted to ask you, moving here from 139 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:42,640 Speaker 1: the South, what did you want to do. What was 140 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:46,120 Speaker 1: your What was your dream coming to LA? My dream 141 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:49,320 Speaker 1: was to write and produce stuff, to be a part 142 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:54,320 Speaker 1: of my dream was to write, produce television and film, 143 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,920 Speaker 1: to be in the industry, to be in LA and 144 00:07:56,920 --> 00:08:00,320 Speaker 1: to be viable here. Um, and so you know, I 145 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:03,960 Speaker 1: came out here like pretty wide eyed, but also at 146 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:07,000 Speaker 1: a time in my life where I had sort of 147 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:10,720 Speaker 1: you know, if you're from a place and you've scouted 148 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:12,960 Speaker 1: all the angles, you've looked at all the corners, and 149 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:16,520 Speaker 1: you're like, I need something more, and LA provided me 150 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:21,040 Speaker 1: with that. So yeah, okay, Wait, everyone comes here with 151 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,880 Speaker 1: a dream, and the fact that that they're able to 152 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,760 Speaker 1: do it is different. You've been able to do it 153 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:29,800 Speaker 1: in a major way. Oscar Winner, if you will. My 154 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:32,160 Speaker 1: old ass dog is running around here, gonna be like, yeah, 155 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:34,760 Speaker 1: Oscar Winner, if you will? You know what I mean, Like, 156 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:36,640 Speaker 1: let's just get our let's get our pat I'm sorry, 157 00:08:36,679 --> 00:08:42,440 Speaker 1: Academy Award winning journalists thought provoker Van Leathan on the 158 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:46,760 Speaker 1: podcast I'm sorry, I get together. If I'm gonna give 159 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:52,520 Speaker 1: you a title, disrespectful and in every possible way, when 160 00:08:52,559 --> 00:08:55,720 Speaker 1: did you get the job? If you don't mind, well, 161 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:58,600 Speaker 1: let's go let's go back. Do you mind if we 162 00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:03,040 Speaker 1: talk about who you are first before we get into okay, 163 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:11,000 Speaker 1: we can, Hey, you are for the ride. I don't 164 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:16,480 Speaker 1: have any clothes, and people look at this. I like 165 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:21,320 Speaker 1: what I'm saying, and so everyone knows it. You come 166 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,360 Speaker 1: to LA with this big dream and you've been able 167 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:26,720 Speaker 1: to accomplish it all. And you are on a bit 168 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:30,640 Speaker 1: of a media tour with your book. And everyone has 169 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:33,000 Speaker 1: a book. I think like and just the way we 170 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,840 Speaker 1: all have a podcast. Everyone doesn't have a book, but 171 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:37,560 Speaker 1: everyone has a book or they have something to say. 172 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:41,280 Speaker 1: You write a book with what in mind when you 173 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:45,320 Speaker 1: decide it's time for your book. I wrote a book, really, 174 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:49,400 Speaker 1: I wrote a book with eyes directly a bad Rooge. 175 00:09:49,559 --> 00:09:52,400 Speaker 1: Like everyone laughs and they talk about how much I've 176 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:57,360 Speaker 1: mentioned bad Rouge. Um just growing up, growing up. When 177 00:09:57,559 --> 00:10:00,280 Speaker 1: when I grew up there, I just never saw my myself. 178 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:03,520 Speaker 1: I never saw It's different. Now, you know, you got 179 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:06,080 Speaker 1: Boosey out there, you got Kevin Gates out there, you 180 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:09,200 Speaker 1: got NB, a young boy out there. There's a presence 181 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:13,000 Speaker 1: there and especially in hip hop and in other walls 182 00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:18,679 Speaker 1: of life. But I never saw myself and it was 183 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:23,760 Speaker 1: there are so many things there that are typical to 184 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:26,160 Speaker 1: the Black American experience, but there's so many things there 185 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:28,600 Speaker 1: that are a typical to it too, because the culture 186 00:10:28,679 --> 00:10:31,319 Speaker 1: is so unique in South Louisiana. So when I wrote 187 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:34,800 Speaker 1: this book, like in writing the book, I wanted to 188 00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:42,640 Speaker 1: explore who my community made me right with love and 189 00:10:42,679 --> 00:10:46,200 Speaker 1: also with sort of a critical eye, looking at some 190 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:49,240 Speaker 1: of the things that make us healthy and unhealthy. And 191 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:54,560 Speaker 1: I wanted to talk, using my personal experience to all 192 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:57,200 Speaker 1: Americans about some of the things that make us healthy 193 00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:59,160 Speaker 1: and some of the things that make us unhealthy. But 194 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,599 Speaker 1: it was very important to do it through the perspective 195 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:04,760 Speaker 1: and the purview of where I grew up because I'm 196 00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:08,800 Speaker 1: just so in love with Louisiana. The book, And by 197 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:12,480 Speaker 1: the way, when you explain it in great, great, great detail, 198 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:16,360 Speaker 1: Fat Crazy and Tired explains a lot, right, But if 199 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,040 Speaker 1: you're just looking at it, fat crazy and tire, what 200 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:21,280 Speaker 1: do you mean? But you go and you, I mean, 201 00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:24,599 Speaker 1: not even painstakingly talk about the food that you ate, 202 00:11:24,679 --> 00:11:27,400 Speaker 1: how you grew up, what size meant to you, how 203 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:29,880 Speaker 1: you didn't know that you were overweight, like you had 204 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:32,920 Speaker 1: no idea, and then you and how you then started 205 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:35,920 Speaker 1: to see other ideas of what this was supposed to 206 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,360 Speaker 1: look like. All of that to me. The way that 207 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:43,160 Speaker 1: you explain your your your weight, your journey with weight, 208 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:48,160 Speaker 1: your fight with staying in shape, is very articulate and 209 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:53,080 Speaker 1: it's very, um, not necessarily emotional, but introspective. And you 210 00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:55,839 Speaker 1: never hear men talk about their weight journey like this, 211 00:11:56,600 --> 00:12:00,920 Speaker 1: where you at all uncomfortable sharing something that I think 212 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:05,839 Speaker 1: is just extremely personal. No um. I think for me, 213 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:09,800 Speaker 1: I have a different view of manhood I think than 214 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:16,120 Speaker 1: some men might. I think my view of manhood is 215 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:19,280 Speaker 1: really being as authentic as possible. Like I had a 216 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:21,439 Speaker 1: father in my life, and my father would be like, 217 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:27,240 Speaker 1: whenever you're hiding something, whenever you're not, Oh there were 218 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:30,920 Speaker 1: things he hid. Don't get me wrong, he hid, he 219 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:34,800 Speaker 1: hits some stuff. But whenever you're putting off for someone, 220 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:36,400 Speaker 1: my dad would be like, okay, well, if it's time 221 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:39,960 Speaker 1: to cry, cry And then he'd be like, well, who 222 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:42,760 Speaker 1: aren't you crying for? Like are you not crying for 223 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,719 Speaker 1: the money that's around you? And he's like, all right, 224 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:50,000 Speaker 1: if you, well, then you're there. You're trying to He 225 00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:52,280 Speaker 1: would always tell me the only standard in your life 226 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:55,240 Speaker 1: is me but I decide. My father would say, I 227 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:58,319 Speaker 1: decide when you're a man. I decide when you're grown up. 228 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,520 Speaker 1: I decide when you're ready for these things. You understand 229 00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:02,960 Speaker 1: it in your life, is me? So vulnerability is not 230 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:07,200 Speaker 1: really that big of a thing to me because I 231 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:09,440 Speaker 1: was taught that there are very specific things that you 232 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:13,040 Speaker 1: have to do to be an asset to your family 233 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:16,040 Speaker 1: and to your community, and if you do those things, 234 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:19,800 Speaker 1: you are a man. And so it doesn't matter how 235 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:24,679 Speaker 1: you present in the world. If you're responsible, dependable, reliable, 236 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,560 Speaker 1: and emotionally emotionally available and protective, you're a man. It 237 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:29,800 Speaker 1: doesn't matter how much you cry or how much you 238 00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:32,079 Speaker 1: share with people. That's what makes you a man. And 239 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:35,080 Speaker 1: I got that directly from him. Where does that come from? 240 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:39,360 Speaker 1: And is he writing a book the vulnerability of black 241 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:42,320 Speaker 1: men is so rare? And correct me if I'm wrong. Yeah, 242 00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:44,520 Speaker 1: but it is so rare, But not even is it? 243 00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:47,880 Speaker 1: It's rare. That's why when I'm listening to your book, 244 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:51,400 Speaker 1: I'm like, he has the words to express what he's feeling. 245 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,600 Speaker 1: And I'm sure therapy has helped with that as well. 246 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,520 Speaker 1: But there's a difference between going to therapy accepting it 247 00:13:56,559 --> 00:13:59,960 Speaker 1: and learning and then actually illustrating it in real life 248 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:03,280 Speaker 1: for other black men to see. Yeah, well, I mean 249 00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:07,679 Speaker 1: he's not writing the book because he's dead. But I mean, 250 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:12,720 Speaker 1: like you know what I mean, right, right, so that 251 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:18,200 Speaker 1: book's not coming any time. Uh. But but but what 252 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:20,920 Speaker 1: are you sure you can't write from the grave. He 253 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:25,080 Speaker 1: spiritually right from the grave, right, But no, I think 254 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:26,720 Speaker 1: and by the way, I'm not saying that all that 255 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:29,440 Speaker 1: my relationship with my father was. I write about it 256 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:32,840 Speaker 1: in the book. He's still in other ways was very 257 00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:35,840 Speaker 1: traumatizing to me. He still had very old school beliefs 258 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:39,160 Speaker 1: on sex, he still had very old school beliefs on 259 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:42,400 Speaker 1: manhood that didn't job with this. It's just that he 260 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:47,440 Speaker 1: didn't believe in censoring who you were for anyone. And 261 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:49,480 Speaker 1: so I think vulnerability was a part of that. When 262 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:52,040 Speaker 1: I was a kid, I was prone to crime, like, 263 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:54,800 Speaker 1: I was very emotional, I was very inquisitive. I would 264 00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:59,120 Speaker 1: take on um, I would take on I take on 265 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:00,840 Speaker 1: all of these concepts that were too big for me. 266 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:05,480 Speaker 1: I would think about like nuclear war and existentialism. I 267 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:07,400 Speaker 1: would go through all of this stuff right when I 268 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:10,440 Speaker 1: was When I was a kid, and at certain times 269 00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:12,240 Speaker 1: my mind would just short circuit and I would just 270 00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:14,680 Speaker 1: freak out, and my dad would just be like, leave 271 00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:18,520 Speaker 1: him alone, like let him Like he never once made 272 00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:21,040 Speaker 1: me feel bad for crying and worrying. He would say 273 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:22,920 Speaker 1: that I needed to do maybe a little bit less 274 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:24,960 Speaker 1: of it, but he'd be like, leave leave him alone, 275 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:27,160 Speaker 1: let him figure it out. I'd rather him give it 276 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:29,320 Speaker 1: to us here to give it to somebody out in 277 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:33,040 Speaker 1: the street. So I think that vulnerability for vulnerability for me, 278 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:36,920 Speaker 1: I don't think it's I think I never looked at 279 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:38,720 Speaker 1: it as something that I had to be ashamed of. 280 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:42,560 Speaker 1: So I've never been ashamed of it. It's crazy, okay, 281 00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:44,280 Speaker 1: but do you see what I'm talking about? Of course 282 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:47,080 Speaker 1: I'm crazy. No, no no, no, you're not crazy. But but 283 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:50,000 Speaker 1: the thing but yeah, no, of course it is. But 284 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,880 Speaker 1: I think also though, that that has to do with 285 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:55,160 Speaker 1: people when they feel like there's something to protect, like 286 00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:58,280 Speaker 1: for like for me, I never had to worry about 287 00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:01,640 Speaker 1: whether or not there was somebody. I knew that if 288 00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:05,320 Speaker 1: you with me, there were repercussions for that. So if 289 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:09,000 Speaker 1: we're somewhere we're on understand we're in guard der Lane Badou, Louisiana, 290 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:11,000 Speaker 1: the bottom of the South, all of these hoods that 291 00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 1: I grew up in, right, I know my life is 292 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,960 Speaker 1: worth something, so I don't need to really act tough 293 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,120 Speaker 1: with you because if you with me, there's a guy 294 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:20,920 Speaker 1: with a gun and he comes to get you. And 295 00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:24,360 Speaker 1: you know that interest, right and so and so. Because 296 00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:26,880 Speaker 1: of that, I only fight when i'm mad. So I 297 00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:28,880 Speaker 1: don't fight to prove anything to you. I don't fight 298 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:30,560 Speaker 1: to prove to you I'm not I don't fight to 299 00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:33,360 Speaker 1: prove I'm not a bitch. I fight when I want 300 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,760 Speaker 1: to hurt you. And in that way, my childhood was 301 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:42,480 Speaker 1: actually a little liberating. That's fascinating because there are so 302 00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:44,480 Speaker 1: many people that I know, especially growing up in LA 303 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:46,120 Speaker 1: but like I know homeboy down the road and he 304 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:47,600 Speaker 1: can do this, and he can do that, and I call, 305 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:50,520 Speaker 1: I can make a phone call and the situation is different, 306 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:53,200 Speaker 1: but they still have a hard time being vulnerable and 307 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:56,480 Speaker 1: expressing themselves. Those are two separate things. Yes you have safety, 308 00:16:56,560 --> 00:17:00,240 Speaker 1: Yes you have protection, but it was still how you 309 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:03,120 Speaker 1: like for your father to let you be emotional if 310 00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:05,800 Speaker 1: you will. Whatever that is, right, whatever that means in 311 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:10,439 Speaker 1: a negative or positive connotation to me, is liberating to 312 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:13,919 Speaker 1: me that I just liberating, yeah, but also like it 313 00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:17,720 Speaker 1: was it was this thing to where I remember I 314 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:19,399 Speaker 1: was on the basketball club one time and it was 315 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:21,440 Speaker 1: some of the older guys in the neighborhood were there 316 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:26,440 Speaker 1: and We're across guardier on the other side, and I'm 317 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:28,800 Speaker 1: playing ball and I didn't know the kids I was 318 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,960 Speaker 1: playing ball with. I was a big kid, right, and 319 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:34,480 Speaker 1: so being a big kid, not just big, but tall 320 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,000 Speaker 1: because I played sports, so my weight with fluctuay. But 321 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:39,320 Speaker 1: I was tall, right, So if you're tall, they play 322 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:44,080 Speaker 1: you like. I'm six four, so yeah, so if if 323 00:17:44,119 --> 00:17:47,320 Speaker 1: if if you're like, if you're tall, they play you 324 00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:49,520 Speaker 1: like shock, they beat you up, they do all of 325 00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:52,880 Speaker 1: this stuff. And at one point I start to get mad. 326 00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:55,000 Speaker 1: I remember one of the old heads out there saying, 327 00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:58,760 Speaker 1: if he starts crying, yeah, I'll be ready to fight. 328 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,359 Speaker 1: Because everyone knew, like they would call me cry baby. 329 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:06,080 Speaker 1: Everyone knew that my emotion would come out on my face. 330 00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,840 Speaker 1: And now we got another you know, And it's just 331 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,960 Speaker 1: like I think my dad there was a respect now. 332 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,919 Speaker 1: He never treated me like his equal. There were all 333 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,800 Speaker 1: kinds of things that were that was it was tough 334 00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:19,560 Speaker 1: to be around him, right. He when I grew taller 335 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:21,240 Speaker 1: than him. He would make me sit down before he 336 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:23,399 Speaker 1: would talk to him, you know, like sit on the ground, 337 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:25,640 Speaker 1: like he like sit on the ground while I'm talking. 338 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:27,520 Speaker 1: He didn't want me to little over him and stuff. 339 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:30,880 Speaker 1: But so there are all kinds of things like in 340 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:33,879 Speaker 1: that I had to take from him. Don't get me wrong, 341 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,200 Speaker 1: but I just never had to worry. I've never, at 342 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:41,040 Speaker 1: one time in my life can remember feeling something and 343 00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:44,000 Speaker 1: not feeling like I couldn't express it. And I think, 344 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:46,960 Speaker 1: I think if there was the neighborhood wasn't a friend 345 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,760 Speaker 1: of my dad, but they respected him, you know what 346 00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:51,719 Speaker 1: I mean. He would come home with it with deer 347 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,320 Speaker 1: on his back, like they were enamored with him, Like 348 00:18:55,359 --> 00:18:58,960 Speaker 1: he had this sting about him, right, cowboy had gun 349 00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:02,159 Speaker 1: and come home. You tee him with deer and a 350 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:04,600 Speaker 1: bunch of dogs, and he'd have like a something that 351 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:07,359 Speaker 1: he skinned on him. He was just a different like 352 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:09,760 Speaker 1: a real one like you like walk down the street 353 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:13,560 Speaker 1: with deers on their back. By the way, we like 354 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:15,880 Speaker 1: they were. They didn't fear him. You think I think 355 00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:17,680 Speaker 1: they would if he got deer on his back. What 356 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:20,240 Speaker 1: he I just think I just think that I think 357 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,040 Speaker 1: that like it was a there was this thing that 358 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:24,359 Speaker 1: he projected and I'm to girl's job, never really had this. 359 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:27,159 Speaker 1: But what I did have was just like a like 360 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:30,360 Speaker 1: a knowledge of self. And I always just had this 361 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:34,359 Speaker 1: thing that I was like, you know, if I didn't 362 00:19:34,359 --> 00:19:37,400 Speaker 1: show me and like we you one person and from 363 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:39,800 Speaker 1: my neighborhood, that was a crazy fight, literally not one. 364 00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:42,800 Speaker 1: So all of that stuff was was was was was 365 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,840 Speaker 1: like was besides the point. Um, I do know people 366 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,720 Speaker 1: who put on the airs a little bit and acted 367 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,840 Speaker 1: a little bit harder, but it was It always came 368 00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:51,960 Speaker 1: from an insecurity to me, and I never really had that. 369 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:56,000 Speaker 1: First and foremost, the vision of your father with deer 370 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,560 Speaker 1: on his back with dogs is a beautiful thing to 371 00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,520 Speaker 1: me because you know, I grew up here. I could 372 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,000 Speaker 1: never even imagine if we saw that here in La. 373 00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:05,280 Speaker 1: Could you imagine going down Ventour we see a guy 374 00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:06,959 Speaker 1: with a deer in his back. We calling the cops, right, 375 00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:08,800 Speaker 1: We're like, what's going on? This is a this is 376 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,439 Speaker 1: all out because of the world we live in. So 377 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:15,560 Speaker 1: to say that he was a different man is probably 378 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:18,879 Speaker 1: in our in our lifetime. For me anyways, growing up 379 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:23,000 Speaker 1: here in LA is an understatement. But I read this 380 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:25,359 Speaker 1: book and I have it just a new profound or 381 00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:27,720 Speaker 1: I listened because I'm gonna be clear, I wasn't reading, 382 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:30,920 Speaker 1: I do audible, but I listened to the book. So 383 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:34,399 Speaker 1: when you think of this book, what is the biggest takeaway? 384 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:36,720 Speaker 1: Because I want to tell you how it's been affecting 385 00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,560 Speaker 1: a friend of mine who's a huge fan of yours. 386 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:41,399 Speaker 1: What's the biggest takeaway? You wrote this for what reason? 387 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:46,639 Speaker 1: To help? Who? Do? What? You know? As insufficient answer 388 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:50,040 Speaker 1: as this is, I wrote this book to exercise some 389 00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:52,520 Speaker 1: of my own demons. I hope that by casting a 390 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:55,520 Speaker 1: wide net and talking about some of the things that 391 00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:58,720 Speaker 1: that we go through, that will help someone. If I 392 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:00,920 Speaker 1: had to pinpoint one thing, I just want people to 393 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:07,680 Speaker 1: know it's not their fault that society. A society is 394 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,720 Speaker 1: this big deal that we've all come together to make right. 395 00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:12,200 Speaker 1: We've all come together to make this big deal. That's 396 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:14,199 Speaker 1: all it really is. It's like, you know, there's serious, 397 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:18,040 Speaker 1: very small little trees that we all tam party to 398 00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:20,359 Speaker 1: live with each other. But so many of the deals 399 00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:22,120 Speaker 1: that were made you didn't have a chance, You didn't 400 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:24,439 Speaker 1: have a hand in making them. So many of the 401 00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:27,040 Speaker 1: trees that were signed. They were signed before you were born, 402 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:31,159 Speaker 1: but you're still held to them, and you're raised to 403 00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:33,879 Speaker 1: be really beholden to a lot of deals that you 404 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:37,400 Speaker 1: didn't make. So really being an adult is about figuring 405 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:40,320 Speaker 1: out which ones of those to make stronger and which 406 00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:43,880 Speaker 1: ones of them to burn up. And like a lot 407 00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:47,560 Speaker 1: of times you don't find out what you wanted to. 408 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:50,080 Speaker 1: It's too late, you know, And a lot of times 409 00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:52,440 Speaker 1: you just continue to blame yourself for things that aren't 410 00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:56,280 Speaker 1: your fault. So I think for me, like I would 411 00:21:56,320 --> 00:22:00,479 Speaker 1: look around at different points in my childhood different especially 412 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,280 Speaker 1: in college where after college I was really lonely and 413 00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:06,280 Speaker 1: really wayward, and go like, why is this mean? Why 414 00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:08,920 Speaker 1: is this happening to me? Why do I have the anxiety? 415 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,480 Speaker 1: Why am I four hundred pounds or three seventy or 416 00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:14,160 Speaker 1: whatever it is? Like, why why me? I look around 417 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:15,640 Speaker 1: and see so many people are having fun with their 418 00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:19,320 Speaker 1: lives and stuff, And the moment I stopped thinking that 419 00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:22,119 Speaker 1: there was something cosmically wrong with me, my life started 420 00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:25,560 Speaker 1: to change. The moment I started to realize that some 421 00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:29,359 Speaker 1: things were the way they were because of things outside 422 00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:32,600 Speaker 1: of me, The moment I put my faith in my 423 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:36,840 Speaker 1: life into inspiration and the something that's that was larger 424 00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,439 Speaker 1: than just like loathing myself, my life start to change. 425 00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:41,240 Speaker 1: So if there was one thing I would want people 426 00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:44,320 Speaker 1: to to take from the book is be general with 427 00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:47,400 Speaker 1: yourself and plant seeds and don't burn down as much 428 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:50,400 Speaker 1: as you think you need to. You know, it's more 429 00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:53,040 Speaker 1: specifically with you. What is it that you want to 430 00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:56,200 Speaker 1: burn up? What is the what is what have you 431 00:22:56,240 --> 00:23:07,840 Speaker 1: had to say? That's just not my fault? Cyclical generational dysfunction. Um, 432 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:12,159 Speaker 1: there is this thing like my family is full of 433 00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:13,879 Speaker 1: some of the my community. It's full of some of 434 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:19,320 Speaker 1: the most talented, the most beautiful, the most amazing people ever, 435 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:25,680 Speaker 1: and just nothing happens for them. They live, they die. 436 00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:30,040 Speaker 1: I take my parents for example. My mother is is 437 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:33,199 Speaker 1: one of the wisest, most giving women ever. Right. I 438 00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:36,159 Speaker 1: just had COVID, just got over COVID. I'm better now, tested, 439 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:41,439 Speaker 1: negatively fine, but thank yes. But I didn't tell my 440 00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:45,399 Speaker 1: mother that I had COVID, like she she I didn't 441 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:47,720 Speaker 1: tell her. I didn't tell my mother I had COVID. 442 00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:51,479 Speaker 1: But she couldn't and she can't handle that. That's not 443 00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:54,800 Speaker 1: going to be a thing. See what happens is uh, 444 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:57,000 Speaker 1: is that I'm going to have COVID, then I'm gonna 445 00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:02,240 Speaker 1: get better. Right. But my mom's she loves so hard 446 00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:06,520 Speaker 1: and worried so much that the that the disease would 447 00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:08,600 Speaker 1: be way worse for her than it would be for 448 00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:11,480 Speaker 1: me emotionally, and I have to know not to give 449 00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:13,640 Speaker 1: her that burden, even though I might want to say, Hey, Mom, 450 00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:16,160 Speaker 1: what kind of chicken soup should I to? What should 451 00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:17,639 Speaker 1: I be doing? What should I even I don't want 452 00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:21,040 Speaker 1: to have that conversation. I know that I can't, right, 453 00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:25,040 Speaker 1: but it brings me back to what I was saying 454 00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:28,600 Speaker 1: about my family. My parents, around the age than I am, 455 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:31,800 Speaker 1: did something that I couldn't even realize how spectacular it 456 00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:35,840 Speaker 1: was at the time. We grew up in a specific 457 00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:38,320 Speaker 1: part of Baton Rouge, but my dad was from Marryingwod, 458 00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:43,639 Speaker 1: which is about thirty miles outside of bad Rouge going west. 459 00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:44,960 Speaker 1: I don't know if you ever been a bad Ruge 460 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:48,439 Speaker 1: before here, I have, I okay, so if you go. 461 00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:51,680 Speaker 1: Note my mother was engaged to your man who lived 462 00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:53,720 Speaker 1: in Baton Rouge, and I remember we went out there 463 00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:55,040 Speaker 1: when I was like eight years old, so I don't 464 00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:57,360 Speaker 1: remember much, but yes, that was back in the day, 465 00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:01,280 Speaker 1: going might have been my dad. You never know. Yeah, 466 00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:05,359 Speaker 1: he had some things going on that we didn't even know. 467 00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:09,320 Speaker 1: Um but but but uh but no. So you go 468 00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:11,119 Speaker 1: over to the bridge, you go thirty minutes west Mary. 469 00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:14,640 Speaker 1: So he lived the country lifestyle. And obviously we from 470 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:18,439 Speaker 1: a place like br We're only one generation moved from 471 00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:21,520 Speaker 1: people literally coming from country areas around right. So it 472 00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:25,520 Speaker 1: was always in my parents' goal and their life goals 473 00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:27,520 Speaker 1: to get back to a place to where we had 474 00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:30,200 Speaker 1: some land. We did that. We built this big, big 475 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:35,480 Speaker 1: house alban Zachary on about thirty five forty acres um. 476 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,520 Speaker 1: We had a barn, we had a pond, We had 477 00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:44,600 Speaker 1: four horses, thirteen dogs, and three wheeler. All of this 478 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:47,800 Speaker 1: stuff feels great. They built the life that they wanted. 479 00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:52,440 Speaker 1: It lasted for about three years. I'd say we got 480 00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:56,280 Speaker 1: out there was five years we got out there ninety eight. 481 00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:58,880 Speaker 1: By two thousand and two they were divorced. She had 482 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:03,400 Speaker 1: moved back in with her mother and the hurricane came 483 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:05,639 Speaker 1: a little bit longer, a litt little bit after that. 484 00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:08,439 Speaker 1: I put something through the home. After that, Dad couldn't 485 00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:10,560 Speaker 1: afford to keep it. They foreclosed on the house. You 486 00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:15,440 Speaker 1: go there now, it looks completely different. Right. That very 487 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:18,200 Speaker 1: thing right there is my life's goal to stop. My 488 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:21,680 Speaker 1: life's goal is to build something lasting that generations can 489 00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:24,080 Speaker 1: build on. When my father died last year, he died 490 00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:28,159 Speaker 1: by himself. Some woman that I've never met before is 491 00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:31,960 Speaker 1: the woman that took my father to the hospital, and 492 00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:34,800 Speaker 1: I got a DM on Instagram and said, Hey, you 493 00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:37,000 Speaker 1: don't know me, but I'm your dad's girlfriend. I just 494 00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:38,800 Speaker 1: dropped the buff at the hospital. You might want to 495 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:41,240 Speaker 1: kind of figure out what's going on with him. I'm 496 00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:44,840 Speaker 1: not blaming her, but what I'm saying is the fact that, 497 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:48,879 Speaker 1: and so many places where I come from, families can't 498 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:53,040 Speaker 1: grow generationally over time. There's nothing to show for these 499 00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:55,480 Speaker 1: lives and these people that work their asses off right 500 00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:59,200 Speaker 1: because the demons in the trauma that affect them just 501 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:04,080 Speaker 1: seemed to destroy and disintegrate everything. My life's goal is 502 00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:07,480 Speaker 1: to stop that. My life's goal is to build something 503 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:12,320 Speaker 1: that the people around me can pick off of and 504 00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:17,439 Speaker 1: see that it meant something. Because to me, family is 505 00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:20,840 Speaker 1: more than a name, It's more than a reputation. It's 506 00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:24,320 Speaker 1: what this group of black people have been able over 507 00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:28,600 Speaker 1: the generations to come together and create, and because of alcoholism, 508 00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:33,400 Speaker 1: because of incarceration, because of drug abuse, because of philandering, 509 00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:37,159 Speaker 1: because of all of those things, we just haven't been 510 00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:39,040 Speaker 1: able to do it. And so I would like to 511 00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:43,560 Speaker 1: change that. I salute you for that because that's a beautiful, 512 00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:48,159 Speaker 1: such a self aware assessment, And I don't want to 513 00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:50,439 Speaker 1: get into the verses, but I but I, but I 514 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:57,240 Speaker 1: often do that because I often feel that there is 515 00:27:57,280 --> 00:28:01,280 Speaker 1: a lack of very bold and loud love from black 516 00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:03,239 Speaker 1: men about what it should look like, about what they 517 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:06,080 Speaker 1: should be committed to. Now. Now, with that being said, 518 00:28:06,119 --> 00:28:07,800 Speaker 1: every time I mentioned that to a black man who's 519 00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:10,360 Speaker 1: doing what he's doing, he's like, no, because this this, 520 00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:13,160 Speaker 1: and women are this, like there was always this argument 521 00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:16,760 Speaker 1: over Kevin Samuels, and I feel like there's an all 522 00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:19,280 Speaker 1: out of salt on black love. I feel like black 523 00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:23,800 Speaker 1: men and women are so at odds currently, and if 524 00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:25,840 Speaker 1: you're if you're in a relationship, you may not see it, 525 00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:27,880 Speaker 1: but I feel like we're so at odds and there's 526 00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:29,760 Speaker 1: always but what about when y'all and what about when 527 00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:32,960 Speaker 1: y'all from both sides right? And there's just so much trauma. 528 00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:35,800 Speaker 1: As you talked about the cyclical trauma that we have, 529 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:39,920 Speaker 1: this generational trauma that we haven't decided to even understand 530 00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:43,240 Speaker 1: or unpack why we think and feel that way. So 531 00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:48,560 Speaker 1: I salute you for being like on the front lines 532 00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:50,800 Speaker 1: to discuss it, because in my opinion, it's rare, and 533 00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:52,400 Speaker 1: I don't see it a lot. I see it. I 534 00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:54,000 Speaker 1: see it with shar I see it with our French 535 00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:55,640 Speaker 1: are I see with But I don't see a lot 536 00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:57,120 Speaker 1: of it. And I don't see a lot of black 537 00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:59,800 Speaker 1: men standing up for us and having our backs as 538 00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:03,600 Speaker 1: old as as as I think we should see. Because 539 00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:05,520 Speaker 1: you know, there's there's a continuent of Black women who 540 00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:08,160 Speaker 1: feel like we always are doing that. Now, what is 541 00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:09,800 Speaker 1: your take on that? Because black women feel like we're 542 00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:12,000 Speaker 1: always taking care of y'all, We always on the front lines, 543 00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:15,000 Speaker 1: we always marching, were always trying to in generational curses 544 00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:18,680 Speaker 1: to be told that we're not good enough or we 545 00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:21,960 Speaker 1: are too demands. We are too closer to that. Yeah, 546 00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:25,680 Speaker 1: So this is why I look at that um number one. 547 00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:32,360 Speaker 1: It's interesting what an experiment like America will do to them. Right, 548 00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:35,400 Speaker 1: we should be treating each other with more grace, but 549 00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:39,160 Speaker 1: we treat each other with less grace because what we were. 550 00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:42,680 Speaker 1: What we realize what America has has really hammered home 551 00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:46,880 Speaker 1: the black people is they don't take. You know, they 552 00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:49,960 Speaker 1: don't take from everybody else a little bit of ship 553 00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:51,640 Speaker 1: because they know a little bit of shit that they 554 00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:54,280 Speaker 1: don't taken from them. You know, you know who else 555 00:29:54,320 --> 00:30:02,120 Speaker 1: don't take because don't take all. Right, Um, so we don't. 556 00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:04,360 Speaker 1: We don't write, and you don't. I think that we 557 00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:09,840 Speaker 1: don't in an all out conversation between black women and 558 00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:13,280 Speaker 1: black men. Black men are gonna make some points and 559 00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:15,600 Speaker 1: black women are gonna make some points, and on each 560 00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:19,000 Speaker 1: side they're gonna be some valid points. The question is 561 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:23,320 Speaker 1: what is the point. It's not whether or not you 562 00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:26,960 Speaker 1: have a point about what you think or whether I 563 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:29,680 Speaker 1: have a point. What is the point? Is they were 564 00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:33,120 Speaker 1: having this conversation so we can understand how to love 565 00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:36,400 Speaker 1: each other better? Or are we having this conversation so 566 00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:38,479 Speaker 1: that I can prove I'm better than you and you 567 00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:40,600 Speaker 1: can prove that you're better than me. If you ask 568 00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:43,440 Speaker 1: me personally, I think there's a death that black man, 569 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:46,240 Speaker 1: oh the black women, just because the reality is a 570 00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:49,640 Speaker 1: lot of the households that I've seen growing up, besides 571 00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:52,000 Speaker 1: my own didn't have fathers that were right there every 572 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,160 Speaker 1: single day I was in those households. I don't know 573 00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:56,560 Speaker 1: how it worked. All I know is that I knew 574 00:30:56,560 --> 00:30:58,320 Speaker 1: a lot of guys that didn't see their dads all 575 00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:01,840 Speaker 1: the time, right, And so you certainly can't come back, 576 00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:05,520 Speaker 1: and this is just common sense, right. If you see 577 00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:08,280 Speaker 1: a lot of mothers doing all of this stuff by themselves, right, 578 00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:11,680 Speaker 1: you certainly can't come back and render too much judgment 579 00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:13,640 Speaker 1: on the way that they live their lives, right, or 580 00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:15,400 Speaker 1: some of the things that might be going on with them, 581 00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:17,880 Speaker 1: because you know, there's a there's an if we're talking 582 00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,680 Speaker 1: about community in the hole that we wanted to be, 583 00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:22,720 Speaker 1: there's a debt that would be paid, and the debt 584 00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:25,320 Speaker 1: that has to be out. Having said that, all the 585 00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:30,000 Speaker 1: social media stuff is changing our perceptions about what's valuable, 586 00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:33,160 Speaker 1: and everybody has to be responsible for what it is 587 00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:36,600 Speaker 1: that they think it's valuable, right, Like men have to 588 00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:40,560 Speaker 1: be responsible for being able to go out and procure 589 00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:42,960 Speaker 1: the type of woman that they think that they want, right, 590 00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:46,160 Speaker 1: and women are the same and vice versa. But my 591 00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:48,640 Speaker 1: point by saying all of this is, do you love 592 00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:51,400 Speaker 1: your sisters, do you love your brothers? If you have that. 593 00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:57,600 Speaker 1: If you have if you want to see black women protected, 594 00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:00,800 Speaker 1: exalted and value, you'll find a way. If you want 595 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:03,240 Speaker 1: to see black men protect it and value, you'll find 596 00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:05,480 Speaker 1: a way. Hey, everybody, you know what time it is. 597 00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:07,040 Speaker 1: We've gotta pay some bills. If you want to fast 598 00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:08,960 Speaker 1: forward through that part, I totally get it, but I 599 00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:11,160 Speaker 1: need you'll to stick around back in a moment with 600 00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:15,560 Speaker 1: more than on naked Every champion and carry champion is 601 00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,280 Speaker 1: to be a champion, a champion, and carry Champion, and 602 00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:21,840 Speaker 1: carry Champion, A champion and carry Champion and carry Chappion 603 00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:26,960 Speaker 1: Fraids Sports, and then the taming Cannake work. Verry Champion 604 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,680 Speaker 1: and carry Champion is to be a champion, a champion, 605 00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:33,920 Speaker 1: they carry Champion, they champion, they carry Champion, they carry 606 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,920 Speaker 1: Champion Ray Frees Sports, and then the Taming can Naked work. 607 00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:40,360 Speaker 1: Welcome back. If you listen to the commercials, you're a 608 00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:43,480 Speaker 1: saint and you really love me, No, seriously, you really do. 609 00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:49,400 Speaker 1: Van Lathan, Oh Naked, we got to go to the genesis. 610 00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:52,240 Speaker 1: The reality is is you're right. Sometimes you're arguing to 611 00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:54,320 Speaker 1: figure out who's right or who's wrong, but at the 612 00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:57,560 Speaker 1: end of the day, it's the actual education of understanding 613 00:32:57,600 --> 00:32:59,640 Speaker 1: what it looks like to value. And if it's not mirrored, 614 00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:01,720 Speaker 1: if it's not understood, if you don't see the vision 615 00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:03,560 Speaker 1: of it, it's hard for you to illustrate it or 616 00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:07,000 Speaker 1: replicate it in every possible way. To your original point, 617 00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:11,080 Speaker 1: black women have to be in the breadwinners if you 618 00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:13,640 Speaker 1: are in the home. And I'm not saying that with 619 00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:17,240 Speaker 1: like a badge of honor. I don't I don't want 620 00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:19,040 Speaker 1: to do that. I don't want to be the only 621 00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:21,720 Speaker 1: one in here hustling. But there is something and I 622 00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:24,960 Speaker 1: know society plays into this as well, but there is something, 623 00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:29,320 Speaker 1: which is why I say to you, I find myself 624 00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:33,520 Speaker 1: saying to you, I'm grateful for your honesty and you 625 00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:36,360 Speaker 1: being able to express yourself, and you're using your platform 626 00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:38,640 Speaker 1: to highlight things. And I don't always agree with you 627 00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:40,440 Speaker 1: say that is that's neither here nor there. But the 628 00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:44,360 Speaker 1: overall messaging, the overall messaging is like I see a 629 00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:46,640 Speaker 1: black man really doing the work, and that is such 630 00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:52,000 Speaker 1: a beautiful, encouraging thing to me. We need to stick together, 631 00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:53,880 Speaker 1: we need to have each other's back. That's all it 632 00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:55,720 Speaker 1: is at the end of the day. And I don't 633 00:33:55,760 --> 00:33:58,720 Speaker 1: see that. That's what makes me sad. But that's what 634 00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:01,120 Speaker 1: I say that I love about. Why don't you see that, though, 635 00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:03,360 Speaker 1: because because I see it a lot? Tell me where 636 00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:05,200 Speaker 1: you like where? Like where are you? Where are you? 637 00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:07,760 Speaker 1: Where are you looking? I don't want I see it 638 00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:11,759 Speaker 1: in myself because because because I go, I know you go. Yeah, 639 00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:13,680 Speaker 1: So I'm so, this is what I'm saying. So like 640 00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:16,799 Speaker 1: a lot of the things that we're talking about, they're real, 641 00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:20,239 Speaker 1: but sometimes they can be overstated. Like I know, so, look, 642 00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:25,319 Speaker 1: the absent black father is a thing, but not like 643 00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:29,160 Speaker 1: they say they who know what I mean? They the 644 00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:32,879 Speaker 1: white man, the white people Fox News and white people. Yeah, 645 00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:35,280 Speaker 1: not like they say, you know what I mean. It's 646 00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:37,560 Speaker 1: not like they say. Some of these things are unconvinial. 647 00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:40,120 Speaker 1: Some of these things different for me. I look around 648 00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:43,960 Speaker 1: that I look at my homies who work in the world. 649 00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:50,799 Speaker 1: You won't find a worst group. I'm I agree, But 650 00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:54,120 Speaker 1: you don't think that that I agree because I know 651 00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:59,160 Speaker 1: some of your friends. I agree. So what I'm saying 652 00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:02,359 Speaker 1: is words of the feather truly flock together. If if 653 00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:04,719 Speaker 1: I hear this is what I hear, here's what I'm 654 00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:06,120 Speaker 1: hearing when I'm out in the streets. So we do 655 00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:08,080 Speaker 1: these interviews that we talk to different people. And if 656 00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:11,080 Speaker 1: I have a conversation off the record with a black 657 00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:15,520 Speaker 1: man of note with success, with value with the platform, 658 00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:18,640 Speaker 1: like you do, and like I said, I'm not including 659 00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:20,360 Speaker 1: you or the homies in it, but I always this 660 00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:24,920 Speaker 1: would always hear, Well, black women always want something. They 661 00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:28,399 Speaker 1: always shoot and a shot and they always expect this 662 00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:30,360 Speaker 1: and they really look at them They should look at 663 00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:33,440 Speaker 1: themselves because you know they don't do and it's usually 664 00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:36,960 Speaker 1: down to vanity. It's what what's the aesthetic is? Like 665 00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:38,560 Speaker 1: she's not in shape, she don't work out, but she 666 00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:40,960 Speaker 1: want a man that's you know, makes six figures or 667 00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:44,040 Speaker 1: just stupid. To me, that doesn't even matter, but matters 668 00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:47,680 Speaker 1: to you all because aesthetics are very important. And I 669 00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:50,880 Speaker 1: believe and this is not a blanket statement, but black men, 670 00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:55,520 Speaker 1: you just jumped right over what the purpose of that was? Though, Boy, 671 00:35:55,560 --> 00:36:00,200 Speaker 1: go ahead, tell me what did I jump over? So aesthetics? Right, 672 00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:07,360 Speaker 1: So there's a guy that's feeling used because he mentioned money. 673 00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:11,120 Speaker 1: Well that's great, let's get into this because let's talk 674 00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:14,839 Speaker 1: about the money into the aesthetic. Go ahead, Well, well, 675 00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:18,360 Speaker 1: let's let's talk about it. So there's a guy that's saying, like, 676 00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:21,080 Speaker 1: there's a guy that's saying, he didn't just say, oh, 677 00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:23,759 Speaker 1: he said black women want a man that makes this 678 00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:27,040 Speaker 1: much money, but they're not willing to do this. Well, 679 00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:30,560 Speaker 1: I mean just nothing but facts, right, I mean I'm 680 00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:35,200 Speaker 1: being real with you. Like, wait a sec wait, wait 681 00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:37,799 Speaker 1: a second, wait wait a second, wait a second. Heres 682 00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:41,600 Speaker 1: the deal, here's the deal. Here's the deal. If if 683 00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:44,239 Speaker 1: you if you're out in the world and you're being 684 00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:48,759 Speaker 1: open to the universe, right to the love speaking that 685 00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:51,479 Speaker 1: you're being open to the universe, yes, and and love 686 00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:53,640 Speaker 1: comes to you, that's fine. But if you go out 687 00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:56,920 Speaker 1: there and you put a bunch of standards, not standards, 688 00:36:57,440 --> 00:37:01,239 Speaker 1: standards or what if you put a bunch of qualifieding requirements, 689 00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:06,640 Speaker 1: then it is completely natural that there should be requirements 690 00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:11,440 Speaker 1: coming in the other way. Oh absolutely right, I absolutely 691 00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:15,000 Speaker 1: say something. Can I say something? And it works both ways? Right? 692 00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:18,560 Speaker 1: So I'll start with the women, like all I hear consistent, 693 00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:20,440 Speaker 1: like black women. If I tell you, and maybe it's 694 00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:21,960 Speaker 1: the world that I live in and work in. If 695 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:25,080 Speaker 1: I hear a black women don't work out and and 696 00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:28,040 Speaker 1: and look at you, you're giggling because you know that's 697 00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:32,960 Speaker 1: what it's being somebody. Yeah, if even that, I don't 698 00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:37,840 Speaker 1: see that I live in Los Angeles, ever, like this 699 00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:40,799 Speaker 1: hasn't been talking to you before? Has this argument been 700 00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:41,920 Speaker 1: said to you? Be like I like her, but she 701 00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:43,600 Speaker 1: needs to get in shape. If I hear something about 702 00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:45,839 Speaker 1: a black woman doesn't work out, or I like her 703 00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:48,640 Speaker 1: all natural, or I like and I'm not even by 704 00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:51,040 Speaker 1: the way, this isn't coming from a woman that is 705 00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:53,759 Speaker 1: unattractive and not in shape. I'm not referring to me, 706 00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:55,840 Speaker 1: but I what I hear this. When I hear this, 707 00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:58,759 Speaker 1: someone like, look at you, you gotta you gotta belly, 708 00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:01,799 Speaker 1: your head not shaped right? Why you you can see 709 00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:06,359 Speaker 1: a year men meet a bagground of the way her 710 00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:10,560 Speaker 1: left toe moves is just say, I don't know. That's 711 00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:14,399 Speaker 1: just a yeah, that's that's that is like I that's 712 00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:17,560 Speaker 1: a funny thing about man? Is a funny thing about man? 713 00:38:17,719 --> 00:38:19,680 Speaker 1: Is that's just a funny thing about man? Funny thing 714 00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:22,120 Speaker 1: about he's annoying? Go ahead and tell me, tell me 715 00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:25,640 Speaker 1: why is a funny thing about a funny thing about men? Is? 716 00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:28,480 Speaker 1: So like listen to man like critique halle Berry and 717 00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:33,160 Speaker 1: I don't really put it like that. I'm like, hey, 718 00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:42,319 Speaker 1: I'm like and she like, yeah, my fayment. But but 719 00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:44,160 Speaker 1: but I was, but I but I but I say 720 00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:48,680 Speaker 1: this though in La though, I remember it's like if 721 00:38:48,719 --> 00:38:51,520 Speaker 1: you're going to a club and a guy can't buy bottles, 722 00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:54,839 Speaker 1: if you don't drive certain cars, these men feel like 723 00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:57,400 Speaker 1: their screw eyes in a very specific way too. And 724 00:38:57,400 --> 00:39:01,720 Speaker 1: then on Instagram and all of this stuff, it's different. 725 00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:03,839 Speaker 1: All of these guys that you know, Carrie, you want 726 00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:13,319 Speaker 1: to be honest with you, they're rich. So wait, I 727 00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:18,719 Speaker 1: love this conversation. Listen, all the women I also know 728 00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:23,080 Speaker 1: have changed as well, right, so if they but no, 729 00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:25,560 Speaker 1: I'm gonna say this. I present a bad woman a 730 00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:29,360 Speaker 1: whole package. A guy's not worried a black man with money. 731 00:39:29,719 --> 00:39:31,319 Speaker 1: And I'm not gonna say all black man, but black 732 00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:34,400 Speaker 1: man of a certain means who have because there's so 733 00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:36,520 Speaker 1: because because when you guys get to this level, there's 734 00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:38,640 Speaker 1: so few of you. You know it. You know it, 735 00:39:38,719 --> 00:39:40,719 Speaker 1: and you walk like it, and you carry it and 736 00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:43,359 Speaker 1: you weaponize it in a lot of in a lot 737 00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:47,320 Speaker 1: of instances, not most, but in a lot of instances. 738 00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,520 Speaker 1: And when I say, oh, I got a friend. She's bad, 739 00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:53,040 Speaker 1: she's a whole package. She got money, she work out, 740 00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:55,720 Speaker 1: she's this, she's at Ah, it's just not my type 741 00:39:55,719 --> 00:39:58,720 Speaker 1: because she doesn't look like what they think they should 742 00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:01,319 Speaker 1: be with, because they got a little been a change. Like, 743 00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:04,640 Speaker 1: that's just crazy to me. We are far more women 744 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:07,080 Speaker 1: are farmers smarter in the way they choose their mate. 745 00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:10,680 Speaker 1: Y'all all right here, right? She could be dumb as all, 746 00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:15,400 Speaker 1: yet do you do you you don't even care? I 747 00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:17,840 Speaker 1: don't wait wait, wait, wait wait, I don't think that's 748 00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:21,759 Speaker 1: true at all. I think women get the picture first, Like, 749 00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:26,040 Speaker 1: let's take it like like like Sierra right, Okay, let's 750 00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:28,320 Speaker 1: sake Sierra Russell. Okay, let's take they got a perfect 751 00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:31,239 Speaker 1: little they got a perfect little marriage. Right, Russell is 752 00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:37,279 Speaker 1: the Russell is the picture perfect husband. Right? For what 753 00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:42,280 Speaker 1: we know? Picture perfect husband? Manage? Sure? How many stops 754 00:40:44,239 --> 00:40:49,919 Speaker 1: at boy Manshi make? She made a time? But don't 755 00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:52,120 Speaker 1: tell me we're better. Don't don't say women are better 756 00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:55,560 Speaker 1: at choosing makes like I'm telling you right now, I 757 00:40:55,560 --> 00:40:59,680 Speaker 1: don't know, sid Let me tell you something, Let me 758 00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:02,480 Speaker 1: tell you something. What you're seeing? Yeah, she did make 759 00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:04,400 Speaker 1: She was dating a bunch of choices. You're right, but 760 00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:08,880 Speaker 1: what you're also seeing is women who we naturally feel 761 00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:10,920 Speaker 1: like we can help you, and we want to help 762 00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:13,040 Speaker 1: change you, and we want to help grow you. It's 763 00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:16,000 Speaker 1: not so much about what you're not at that moment, 764 00:41:16,080 --> 00:41:18,640 Speaker 1: it's what we can see. And I'm sure she thought 765 00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:22,080 Speaker 1: when she was first with old boy future, for instance, 766 00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:24,080 Speaker 1: She's might to have a baby with him. This is it, 767 00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:25,759 Speaker 1: this is it. I can see who he's gonna be. 768 00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:28,279 Speaker 1: I'm gonna grow with him. I'm zada. They break up 769 00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:31,080 Speaker 1: and how does he ben? How many children? How many 770 00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:34,160 Speaker 1: children the future have at this point? Listen, she saw 771 00:41:34,239 --> 00:41:39,360 Speaker 1: that he loved so m right. No, you're absolutely. What 772 00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:42,280 Speaker 1: I'm saying is what I'm saying is that the future 773 00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:45,319 Speaker 1: they need love to I'm not taking anything away like 774 00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:47,680 Speaker 1: I know a lot of guys who have been future as. 775 00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:49,759 Speaker 1: I'm not taking anything away from future. I don't have 776 00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:53,920 Speaker 1: any problem. I don't like certain that's fine. What I'm 777 00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:56,480 Speaker 1: saying is this what I'm saying. What I'm saying is this, 778 00:41:57,360 --> 00:41:59,960 Speaker 1: I don't think either side is great at choosing mate, 779 00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:04,520 Speaker 1: because you don't choose a mate. Mate chooses you as 780 00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:09,000 Speaker 1: long as like as as as long as you are open, 781 00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:14,040 Speaker 1: are open like it happens all the time. It happens 782 00:42:14,239 --> 00:42:22,480 Speaker 1: all the time. Yeah, yes, But then you're talking about 783 00:42:22,520 --> 00:42:27,440 Speaker 1: an elevated sense of consciousness that just doesn't exist in 784 00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:29,880 Speaker 1: a community where men have been taught to hold their 785 00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:33,200 Speaker 1: feelings back and not express themselves. You were talking about 786 00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:35,799 Speaker 1: being open to love and it will come and find you. 787 00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:39,520 Speaker 1: So you're saying you're operating like people are operating like 788 00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:41,640 Speaker 1: that in our culture, and that as the collective. I 789 00:42:41,719 --> 00:42:46,080 Speaker 1: just don't think that that's true on both sides. I 790 00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:49,279 Speaker 1: think that they're saying that they're not, but they're going 791 00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:53,080 Speaker 1: back home and somebody's getting them right. I think that 792 00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:57,239 Speaker 1: they're I think one thing that women don't if I 793 00:42:57,360 --> 00:42:59,320 Speaker 1: was saying there was one thing that women don't understand, 794 00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:06,000 Speaker 1: is that men we are. I'm with these guys. I 795 00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:09,359 Speaker 1: know how they act, I know what the deal is, 796 00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:13,560 Speaker 1: I know why they act out, I know why they 797 00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:16,880 Speaker 1: do certain things. They talk a lot of shit, but 798 00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:21,200 Speaker 1: what they want is to be loved. No man that 799 00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:24,120 Speaker 1: I know is with the baddest woman that they've ever 800 00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:28,560 Speaker 1: been with. Interesting, I am but no man, but like 801 00:43:28,719 --> 00:43:33,200 Speaker 1: but but but but but but but no man that 802 00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:36,600 Speaker 1: I know is with the baddest woman they've ever been with. 803 00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:39,799 Speaker 1: Then now then like not that I not that I 804 00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:42,040 Speaker 1: know now. Look, I'm also I don't hang out with 805 00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:44,840 Speaker 1: these rappers and I don't be in these difference that 806 00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:49,440 Speaker 1: you're like whatever, none of that, Like like people exist 807 00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:53,200 Speaker 1: on certain wavelengths. I think a lot of this Twitter conversation, 808 00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:54,680 Speaker 1: all of this back and forth, I think it's for 809 00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:57,800 Speaker 1: people's entertainment. And I'll be honest with you, I think 810 00:43:57,840 --> 00:44:01,160 Speaker 1: that our parents and grandparents probably we had these same 811 00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:04,800 Speaker 1: types of conversations, Oh, you should marry, you should marry 812 00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:09,400 Speaker 1: mister Johnny's he owns his own, don't marry. That's just 813 00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:11,960 Speaker 1: like I think. I think this has always been a thing, No, 814 00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:14,000 Speaker 1: but options have changed. Here's the thing. I read this 815 00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:15,680 Speaker 1: New York Times article the other day. Your girl has 816 00:44:15,719 --> 00:44:17,400 Speaker 1: sent it to me probably three months ago. Not that 817 00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:20,200 Speaker 1: it means anything, but it gave me a very interesting perspective. 818 00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:25,799 Speaker 1: Women don't have to although they want it. God made it, 819 00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:28,120 Speaker 1: made it so that men and women should be together 820 00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:30,799 Speaker 1: and procreate, right, that's just our natural instinct and that's 821 00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:33,880 Speaker 1: what we should have. But the day of settling and 822 00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:36,760 Speaker 1: being with somebody, even if they're a jerk and aren't 823 00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:39,120 Speaker 1: doing well, and he's the only person that can work 824 00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:43,880 Speaker 1: in the family. Those days are over. My grandmother or 825 00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:46,960 Speaker 1: my great grandmother never had an option. She had to 826 00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:51,160 Speaker 1: marry Johnny's a little boy because she she she had 827 00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:54,080 Speaker 1: to marry Johnny's little boy, because she had no choice, 828 00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:57,560 Speaker 1: because she had to do what she had to do, 829 00:44:57,640 --> 00:45:00,440 Speaker 1: because she couldn't make ends meet for herself or by 830 00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:02,920 Speaker 1: herself to support a family. So a lot of women 831 00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:08,680 Speaker 1: married men out of obligation. You know that we've we 832 00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:11,040 Speaker 1: have come so far from that moment now and now 833 00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:12,879 Speaker 1: that women are I got my own and I don't 834 00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:14,600 Speaker 1: need it. I don't need and I got my own. 835 00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:18,880 Speaker 1: It really is hard for the two to meet, especially 836 00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:21,400 Speaker 1: in our culture. I think, so you're talking about a 837 00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:23,239 Speaker 1: group of men that you're around, I just feel like 838 00:45:23,239 --> 00:45:25,520 Speaker 1: you guys are a special sect, and you're right at 839 00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:26,839 Speaker 1: the end of the day, everybody wants to be loved, 840 00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:31,040 Speaker 1: but you're a special sect. I think you Let me 841 00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:34,920 Speaker 1: tell you I mean about because I think I think 842 00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:37,279 Speaker 1: choice is about a matrix, right, I think choice is 843 00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:40,960 Speaker 1: about the choice matrix, right, like you like choice is 844 00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:43,640 Speaker 1: about okay, so like growing up where I grew up, Right, 845 00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:46,840 Speaker 1: it was like, oh god, don't deal drugs, right, it's easy, 846 00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:49,880 Speaker 1: don't deal drugs? Right? Well, what if dealing drugs is 847 00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:54,120 Speaker 1: on the table? Right, if dealing drugs is on the table, 848 00:45:54,200 --> 00:45:56,560 Speaker 1: if that's like a viable thing to do, it's actually 849 00:45:56,600 --> 00:45:58,560 Speaker 1: not so easy not to do it, because it's actually 850 00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:00,760 Speaker 1: a choice. Right if you grew up in another place, 851 00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:03,680 Speaker 1: it's not even on the table. Like like if if 852 00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:06,800 Speaker 1: you grew up maybe in I don't know, in Bocage 853 00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:09,440 Speaker 1: or someplace across town, no one even thinks that you're 854 00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:12,160 Speaker 1: gonna deal drugs. You don't. You don't run with drug dealers. 855 00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:14,200 Speaker 1: It's not a choice, right, So this is while this 856 00:46:14,239 --> 00:46:15,880 Speaker 1: is I look at what you're saying. Right now, I 857 00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:18,480 Speaker 1: see a lot of girls in Dubai. They go to Dubai. 858 00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:22,319 Speaker 1: We know that they didn't go to Dubai. We know 859 00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:25,720 Speaker 1: that someone sent them to Dubai. Sure, it's their choice 860 00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:29,880 Speaker 1: whether or not to go to Dubai, but it's actually 861 00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:32,280 Speaker 1: not a choice because if they want to go to Dubai, 862 00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:37,480 Speaker 1: there are certain things they have to do. And then 863 00:46:37,520 --> 00:46:40,120 Speaker 1: and for some people, if you want to live a 864 00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:43,160 Speaker 1: certain life, if you want to live a certain lifestyle. 865 00:46:43,719 --> 00:46:47,560 Speaker 1: If you're enamored with a certain lifestyle, male or female, 866 00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:54,000 Speaker 1: there's certain things you have to do and so and 867 00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:56,120 Speaker 1: so to me, I look, I look at it's kind 868 00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:58,160 Speaker 1: of like what it is that people want. I think 869 00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:01,520 Speaker 1: if you want love and connection, you can find that anywhere. 870 00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:04,080 Speaker 1: If you want to go to win, it's only a 871 00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:06,560 Speaker 1: couple of niggas that could take you there. So then 872 00:47:06,680 --> 00:47:09,319 Speaker 1: so you need to like you need you need to 873 00:47:09,320 --> 00:47:12,200 Speaker 1: find those guys. I kin don't figure out how are 874 00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:14,759 Speaker 1: you gonna get that story? Whenever I have this conversation, 875 00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:18,440 Speaker 1: it ultimately deteriorates into who has a bag? Women want 876 00:47:18,440 --> 00:47:20,720 Speaker 1: a guy with a bag, and men want a bad bitch. 877 00:47:21,120 --> 00:47:24,960 Speaker 1: These conversations only deteriorate to this the bitch one the 878 00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:27,480 Speaker 1: nigga would autom money, and the dude want the baddest 879 00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:31,839 Speaker 1: bitch in the game. I can never have this conversation. 880 00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:34,120 Speaker 1: And then when someone comes in and says, well, no, 881 00:47:34,239 --> 00:47:37,279 Speaker 1: that's just not true, because here's what's happening. I think 882 00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:39,080 Speaker 1: what you're telling me and what I'm hearing is that 883 00:47:39,120 --> 00:47:41,640 Speaker 1: there's a certain you're like in my circle carry that 884 00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:43,359 Speaker 1: doesn't exist. I don't know what you're talking about black 885 00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:45,080 Speaker 1: men are emotional. They talk about their feeling blah blah 886 00:47:45,080 --> 00:47:47,640 Speaker 1: blah blah, and I'm like, no, actually, no, I don't 887 00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:50,399 Speaker 1: see that. So you see that, and then I ultimately hear, 888 00:47:50,680 --> 00:47:52,960 Speaker 1: but these girls are out here big, chasing a bag, 889 00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:54,839 Speaker 1: only dating guys who can tell them to do bay. 890 00:47:54,840 --> 00:47:56,160 Speaker 1: They want to be on the pja blah blah blah 891 00:47:56,160 --> 00:48:01,040 Speaker 1: blah blah. I feel like girls the small spect, you 892 00:48:01,080 --> 00:48:03,000 Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. I don't know any girls like that, 893 00:48:03,239 --> 00:48:06,480 Speaker 1: but I always, I always hear that. I don't know 894 00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:08,759 Speaker 1: women like that. Everybody I know is busting balls and 895 00:48:08,800 --> 00:48:11,080 Speaker 1: working hard and doing it on their own and figuring 896 00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:13,319 Speaker 1: it out and looking for love in the process, right 897 00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:15,239 Speaker 1: whether or if they're with their mate, trying to win 898 00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:18,399 Speaker 1: for their mate too. I don't know that world. So 899 00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:21,280 Speaker 1: I think what's happening is that because of social media, 900 00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:24,759 Speaker 1: we are really blinded by what it is like. We 901 00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:29,080 Speaker 1: just it's it's so confusing and mucky and muddy, and 902 00:48:29,160 --> 00:48:33,919 Speaker 1: you say, to this point, and not real like it's 903 00:48:33,960 --> 00:48:36,920 Speaker 1: not real life. It's not real life. But I know 904 00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:39,640 Speaker 1: men are motivated by getting money because they think they 905 00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:43,040 Speaker 1: can have women. I know men are like when they 906 00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:47,520 Speaker 1: get money, they are ageless, they are weightless, they are 907 00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:52,359 Speaker 1: whatever it is belly Ball two thousand years old. If 908 00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:54,759 Speaker 1: I got Brad, I don't care. And to me, a 909 00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:56,560 Speaker 1: lot of that is a motivating factor with a lot 910 00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:58,400 Speaker 1: of men because they want to live this life with 911 00:48:58,440 --> 00:49:00,680 Speaker 1: the you say they won't love. I feel like I 912 00:49:00,719 --> 00:49:02,719 Speaker 1: see this. I was like, I want bread, I want bread, 913 00:49:02,719 --> 00:49:05,160 Speaker 1: I want money because I know I'm gonna have women. Literally, 914 00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:07,600 Speaker 1: Am I wrong? Is that wrong? You're not, but I 915 00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:09,719 Speaker 1: do think, but you're not. But I but I do 916 00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:12,480 Speaker 1: think this though you're not wrong at all. But this 917 00:49:12,640 --> 00:49:18,799 Speaker 1: only thing I say, Number one, it's not it's not. 918 00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:22,720 Speaker 1: So this is an argument I have with men about women. 919 00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:26,120 Speaker 1: When I was in college, Nick Nick Saban was the 920 00:49:26,120 --> 00:49:28,880 Speaker 1: coach at LSU. I remember a friend of ours, very 921 00:49:28,920 --> 00:49:32,600 Speaker 1: beautiful woman who was like our same age, that said 922 00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:37,279 Speaker 1: she was attracted to Nick Saban. And we at this 923 00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:39,759 Speaker 1: point we look we all we all looked at we 924 00:49:39,840 --> 00:49:43,680 Speaker 1: all looked at Nick Saban. Twenty two, twenty three years old. 925 00:49:43,719 --> 00:49:46,000 Speaker 1: We all looked at Nick Saban. We're like, what are 926 00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:49,560 Speaker 1: you talking. She's like, uh no, she's I'm attracted to 927 00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:52,480 Speaker 1: Nick Saban, Like Nick Saban's an attractive god, And I'm like, 928 00:49:52,640 --> 00:49:55,360 Speaker 1: why would Nick Saban be attractive? And what she was 929 00:49:55,400 --> 00:49:58,120 Speaker 1: talking about and this is a this is a difference 930 00:49:58,120 --> 00:50:01,600 Speaker 1: where there were things about coach Savan that were attractive 931 00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:04,960 Speaker 1: to her didn't have anything to do necessarily with how 932 00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:07,360 Speaker 1: he looked. How he looked wasn't just enough of a 933 00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:12,120 Speaker 1: distraction to take away from the fact that he was asserted, 934 00:50:12,480 --> 00:50:14,759 Speaker 1: the fact that he was a leader, the fact that 935 00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:17,280 Speaker 1: he was secure, the fact that he seemed like a protector, 936 00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:20,280 Speaker 1: all kinds of things that women would actually be attracted 937 00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:24,200 Speaker 1: to a man, the same reason why some women were 938 00:50:24,239 --> 00:50:28,520 Speaker 1: attracted to Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton was handsome for a president, 939 00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:30,640 Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Oh, Bill Clinton was doing 940 00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:33,719 Speaker 1: this thing. But the power the power of stars. I 941 00:50:33,719 --> 00:50:36,640 Speaker 1: just saw another night and they gotta tell me, right, okay, cool, 942 00:50:37,239 --> 00:50:40,799 Speaker 1: that doesn't exist for like men. So that's the thing, 943 00:50:40,920 --> 00:50:44,680 Speaker 1: Like men don't look at like, uh, like I don't know, 944 00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:48,720 Speaker 1: um Angela Merkel from Germany and be like shit, God damn, 945 00:50:48,719 --> 00:50:51,279 Speaker 1: she wrote all the Germany Like That's why I'm talking about, 946 00:50:51,520 --> 00:50:55,480 Speaker 1: Like that doesn't exist. So the edicts are different, right, 947 00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:59,640 Speaker 1: And so what I'm saying is when women like I 948 00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:02,359 Speaker 1: think times we talk past each other when women are 949 00:51:02,400 --> 00:51:05,280 Speaker 1: saying that like they're attracted to maybe like a DJ Khalid, 950 00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:09,000 Speaker 1: they're really attracted to him. It's not that they're attracted 951 00:51:09,160 --> 00:51:12,399 Speaker 1: him because of the money. It's that the money makes 952 00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:16,400 Speaker 1: him attractive. See, And I think sometimes people get that confused. 953 00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:20,120 Speaker 1: It's it's not like, hey, I'm attracted to him because 954 00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:22,520 Speaker 1: he's no the money and the fact that he could 955 00:51:22,560 --> 00:51:24,960 Speaker 1: do anything that he wants. He lives a carefree lifestyle, 956 00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:28,360 Speaker 1: he can take care of you, he's a provider, he's confident. 957 00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:32,040 Speaker 1: All these things. Sometimes that money makes you for some people, 958 00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:36,520 Speaker 1: not everyone, that makes that person attractive. And for men 959 00:51:37,000 --> 00:51:41,080 Speaker 1: it's just very a lot of times. A lot of times, 960 00:51:41,120 --> 00:51:44,600 Speaker 1: normally when you're younger, it's very biological. But if you 961 00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:48,359 Speaker 1: allow yourself to be open, you know that as a man, 962 00:51:48,640 --> 00:51:52,560 Speaker 1: you need a companion. You need someone who can listen. 963 00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:56,919 Speaker 1: You need someone who you can nurture, who can nurture you, 964 00:51:56,920 --> 00:52:01,080 Speaker 1: You need someone who actually is a plus to your life. 965 00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:04,439 Speaker 1: A lot of these guys that's running around and still 966 00:52:04,560 --> 00:52:08,120 Speaker 1: chasing after it after all of this time, it's because 967 00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:12,560 Speaker 1: they're searching for something and just because of the patriarchy 968 00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:16,120 Speaker 1: that we live in. Those guys can do more damage 969 00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:19,839 Speaker 1: then women can't. They could like they could, they can 970 00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:23,719 Speaker 1: do more damage because the reality is that you were 971 00:52:24,320 --> 00:52:27,800 Speaker 1: I don't know whoever your puff, Like Puff's Day, Young Miami, 972 00:52:27,840 --> 00:52:29,560 Speaker 1: shout out to Puff. That's my man. That girl's like 973 00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:33,399 Speaker 1: twenty seven years old, right, and he's and it's at 974 00:52:33,440 --> 00:52:36,320 Speaker 1: this point in his life right now. It's never gonna 975 00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:39,279 Speaker 1: be whacked for Puff to day, the twenty seven year 976 00:52:39,360 --> 00:52:42,680 Speaker 1: old girl, It's never gonna be whacked or not like that? 977 00:52:43,280 --> 00:52:47,040 Speaker 1: Why because that's just the way that that to me. 978 00:52:47,280 --> 00:52:49,240 Speaker 1: That's not not saying I'm not saying that I'm looking 979 00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:51,839 Speaker 1: at it that way. What I'm saying is just in 980 00:52:51,880 --> 00:52:56,640 Speaker 1: the world, that's kind of a thing. Like he's rich, 981 00:52:57,160 --> 00:52:59,560 Speaker 1: he's he can he can afford it, and people are 982 00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:02,640 Speaker 1: gonna be like, and he still looks great. If you're 983 00:53:02,640 --> 00:53:04,320 Speaker 1: a fifty two year old guy that works at the 984 00:53:04,360 --> 00:53:07,200 Speaker 1: post office, you're a lot different than if you're Sean Cohan. 985 00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:12,640 Speaker 1: Sure for sure, for sure. Right. So, Like when I'm 986 00:53:12,680 --> 00:53:15,160 Speaker 1: trying to this is what I want people to come 987 00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:17,320 Speaker 1: to terms with. I want people to come to terms 988 00:53:17,360 --> 00:53:21,239 Speaker 1: with what it is if they're attracted if the reality 989 00:53:21,360 --> 00:53:23,319 Speaker 1: is it's like, come to terms with it and just 990 00:53:23,360 --> 00:53:27,200 Speaker 1: be okay with it. Everybody stopped billiating about what it is. 991 00:53:27,760 --> 00:53:31,680 Speaker 1: Here's the thing we talked about future earlier. We are bullshit. 992 00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:36,200 Speaker 1: We know why women are attracted to future. Future is 993 00:53:36,280 --> 00:53:41,640 Speaker 1: good looking, future is successful, Future is talented. Future has 994 00:53:41,680 --> 00:53:46,560 Speaker 1: a bad boy aura that you guys do. We know 995 00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:49,799 Speaker 1: why women are attracted to future. It is the same 996 00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:52,440 Speaker 1: reason why women have been attracted to futures since the 997 00:53:52,600 --> 00:53:56,560 Speaker 1: beginning of time. Right, we know why women are attracted 998 00:53:56,600 --> 00:53:59,600 Speaker 1: to future. We get it. We understand what's wrong the future. 999 00:54:00,239 --> 00:54:02,120 Speaker 1: Let's from future? Could you call him a funk away? 1000 00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:06,120 Speaker 1: Let's wrong with him? Nothing. What I'm saying is, I 1001 00:54:06,120 --> 00:54:08,279 Speaker 1: don't think necessarily the future is a funk boy. I 1002 00:54:08,280 --> 00:54:12,480 Speaker 1: think he's the post. So when I was like, because 1003 00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:15,400 Speaker 1: he's got a lot of kids with a lot of 1004 00:54:15,400 --> 00:54:22,319 Speaker 1: different ladies, okay, and he does amazingly inappropriate things like 1005 00:54:22,400 --> 00:54:25,040 Speaker 1: that I'm good love and joy text and all of 1006 00:54:25,040 --> 00:54:28,399 Speaker 1: that stuff. So I think that I personally, I don't 1007 00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:30,960 Speaker 1: think that he's a bad dude, but I think that 1008 00:54:31,080 --> 00:54:34,359 Speaker 1: I think that if you if people were to put 1009 00:54:34,440 --> 00:54:36,520 Speaker 1: funck boy on the deal and look at somebody, it 1010 00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:38,080 Speaker 1: would be future. And that's not to say that we 1011 00:54:38,120 --> 00:54:41,759 Speaker 1: haven't all been futures at one time, because we definitely have. 1012 00:54:42,320 --> 00:54:45,160 Speaker 1: But what I'm saying is that he is somebody who 1013 00:54:45,360 --> 00:54:48,879 Speaker 1: lives in it and embraces it. And if you were, 1014 00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:52,560 Speaker 1: if if Russell Wilson would be the square, then future 1015 00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:55,719 Speaker 1: would definitely have to play the folk boy rode and so. 1016 00:54:56,480 --> 00:54:58,880 Speaker 1: And if a funk boy is somebody who just funcks 1017 00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:01,680 Speaker 1: you and it's not serious about anything and do whatever 1018 00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:04,839 Speaker 1: or whatever, that's kind of who he would be. All 1019 00:55:04,840 --> 00:55:11,000 Speaker 1: I'm saying is that that's who he is, his persona. 1020 00:55:11,080 --> 00:55:14,400 Speaker 1: That's an aphrodisiacal. You're right, No, you're right. And by 1021 00:55:14,440 --> 00:55:16,480 Speaker 1: the way, you're right. And so when I and a 1022 00:55:16,520 --> 00:55:18,200 Speaker 1: lot of things that you're saying, I'm like, no, that's 1023 00:55:18,239 --> 00:55:20,680 Speaker 1: not true. But that's I'm referring to myself. And and 1024 00:55:20,719 --> 00:55:23,200 Speaker 1: this is when you say I'm getting some jacket jail, 1025 00:55:23,239 --> 00:55:24,920 Speaker 1: I'm like, you've got some funny. I'm so damn good. 1026 00:55:24,920 --> 00:55:26,680 Speaker 1: I'm glad you're getting jacket Joel. I'm glad you think 1027 00:55:26,719 --> 00:55:32,799 Speaker 1: I'm refined, but it's not. It's but the reality is 1028 00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:35,960 Speaker 1: is what you're saying, is I hear you. You're correct, 1029 00:55:36,120 --> 00:55:38,560 Speaker 1: and where you grew up. Cresia's where the ship and 1030 00:55:38,600 --> 00:55:40,920 Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with a Cresha and a Diddy. That 1031 00:55:41,040 --> 00:55:42,960 Speaker 1: is the society in which we live in. And they 1032 00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:47,520 Speaker 1: are together and whatever that means right together, whatever that 1033 00:55:47,560 --> 00:55:51,719 Speaker 1: means right, because I mean, we know and and I 1034 00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:53,719 Speaker 1: felt like and it wasn't like it says, it's coming off. 1035 00:55:54,719 --> 00:56:07,120 Speaker 1: What's so shaky? What I say, what I do? What 1036 00:56:07,239 --> 00:56:10,319 Speaker 1: did I what I say I did? It is? What 1037 00:56:10,360 --> 00:56:13,839 Speaker 1: are you talking about? My point being is is that 1038 00:56:14,680 --> 00:56:16,840 Speaker 1: we should not belliate, and we should not complain. We 1039 00:56:16,880 --> 00:56:18,880 Speaker 1: should be honest about what we're attracted to, and we 1040 00:56:18,880 --> 00:56:22,120 Speaker 1: should be unapologetic in that. You are correct, you are, 1041 00:56:22,239 --> 00:56:24,480 Speaker 1: you are okay. Thank you for therapy, Thank you for 1042 00:56:24,520 --> 00:56:27,839 Speaker 1: getting me all together. You got me all together. You're right. 1043 00:56:27,920 --> 00:56:29,880 Speaker 1: I need to be honest because if someone if I 1044 00:56:29,880 --> 00:56:31,640 Speaker 1: start saying what I'm attracted to do, somebody would be 1045 00:56:31,680 --> 00:56:34,480 Speaker 1: like you sound stupid, Like that's crazy, that's not realistic. 1046 00:56:34,560 --> 00:56:37,319 Speaker 1: That's not a real world, right if I or the 1047 00:56:37,320 --> 00:56:40,160 Speaker 1: men that I've dated, that's not realistic, that's not real world. 1048 00:56:40,200 --> 00:56:42,160 Speaker 1: I get it. So I understand what you're saying one 1049 00:56:43,800 --> 00:56:49,720 Speaker 1: cast your question though serious, serious question, like like power 1050 00:56:49,920 --> 00:56:53,239 Speaker 1: is attractive, right, like power is one thousand percent. The 1051 00:56:53,280 --> 00:56:56,400 Speaker 1: way you described old girl liking Nick Saban was perfectly 1052 00:56:56,440 --> 00:56:58,399 Speaker 1: too asy. And by the way, as a younger man, 1053 00:56:58,480 --> 00:57:00,919 Speaker 1: I couldn't understand it. I'm like, you like him because 1054 00:57:00,920 --> 00:57:03,799 Speaker 1: he makes like at that time, we were getting them cheap. 1055 00:57:03,840 --> 00:57:05,680 Speaker 1: He makes three million dollars as the head coach at 1056 00:57:05,719 --> 00:57:07,759 Speaker 1: LSU football. That's why you like him. She's like, uh, no, 1057 00:57:08,200 --> 00:57:10,239 Speaker 1: he's the most powerful man in the state. Like that's 1058 00:57:10,239 --> 00:57:12,480 Speaker 1: why I like him. And I'm like, that's real and 1059 00:57:12,520 --> 00:57:16,840 Speaker 1: that's and I was telling him the people at at 1060 00:57:16,880 --> 00:57:18,840 Speaker 1: like at TMZ this one time, and I was like, 1061 00:57:19,040 --> 00:57:21,480 Speaker 1: uh and this is a crude way to put this, 1062 00:57:21,600 --> 00:57:25,080 Speaker 1: so excuse all of everybody's ears. I was like they 1063 00:57:25,080 --> 00:57:27,080 Speaker 1: were saying they were talking about some model and they 1064 00:57:27,080 --> 00:57:29,680 Speaker 1: were like, she's with this um because a lot of 1065 00:57:29,680 --> 00:57:33,320 Speaker 1: times these Victoria's Secret Models, some of the Victoria's Secret models, 1066 00:57:33,320 --> 00:57:34,840 Speaker 1: you'll go and you'll never hear from them again, and 1067 00:57:34,880 --> 00:57:37,840 Speaker 1: then you'll find out, oh, well they're married to the 1068 00:57:37,960 --> 00:57:42,440 Speaker 1: head this shipping magnet or whatever. Yeah, right, and so 1069 00:57:42,480 --> 00:57:44,960 Speaker 1: we're on. So we're on the show, we're talking about this, 1070 00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:47,360 Speaker 1: and it's like, and you go, she married him for 1071 00:57:47,400 --> 00:57:48,800 Speaker 1: his money, and I was like, it depends on what 1072 00:57:48,840 --> 00:57:51,280 Speaker 1: you mean by that, and he goes what I was like, 1073 00:57:51,320 --> 00:57:53,680 Speaker 1: if you're saying that every night they go to bed 1074 00:57:54,600 --> 00:57:58,880 Speaker 1: and she her skin crawls when he touches her, and 1075 00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:02,760 Speaker 1: she grins and bear of her entire life because of money, 1076 00:58:03,000 --> 00:58:07,680 Speaker 1: then the way you're talking about it is wrong. What 1077 00:58:07,720 --> 00:58:10,200 Speaker 1: I'm telling you right now, what I believe is that 1078 00:58:10,240 --> 00:58:12,720 Speaker 1: he picks her up on a private jet. He takes 1079 00:58:12,720 --> 00:58:16,040 Speaker 1: her to the south of France. They chill, She sees 1080 00:58:16,280 --> 00:58:19,640 Speaker 1: him make a million business deals a day, she sees 1081 00:58:19,680 --> 00:58:23,280 Speaker 1: the way people react to him, and her pussy gets 1082 00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:31,160 Speaker 1: like legitimately, like one like leim. She doesn't have to 1083 00:58:31,280 --> 00:58:33,000 Speaker 1: she have to like just have to bite down for 1084 00:58:33,080 --> 00:58:36,840 Speaker 1: it like it legitimately happens. And if that's the case, 1085 00:58:37,040 --> 00:58:39,320 Speaker 1: the money is just an attribute to who he was, 1086 00:58:39,440 --> 00:58:41,040 Speaker 1: I'm sure he could be like a terrible guy and 1087 00:58:41,080 --> 00:58:43,200 Speaker 1: would turn her off. He's meeting the dogs, meeting the kids, 1088 00:58:43,440 --> 00:58:46,400 Speaker 1: and that would be one thing, but like beyond that, 1089 00:58:46,400 --> 00:58:48,720 Speaker 1: that's like a real thing. And so if that's a 1090 00:58:48,800 --> 00:58:53,480 Speaker 1: real thing, then being attracted some chick. That's like in 1091 00:58:53,560 --> 00:58:56,440 Speaker 1: Maxim magazine. It's kind of like the same thing she 1092 00:58:56,520 --> 00:59:00,560 Speaker 1: has biological. She has biologically. The shit that you see 1093 00:59:00,680 --> 00:59:02,760 Speaker 1: that you like, your brain takes over and you go, 1094 00:59:02,880 --> 00:59:05,520 Speaker 1: I like, a massive magazine wouldn't be the magazine that 1095 00:59:05,680 --> 00:59:08,640 Speaker 1: is the most Honestly, I'm not being funny. That is 1096 00:59:08,680 --> 00:59:12,040 Speaker 1: probably the most fair way to describe what it is. 1097 00:59:12,760 --> 00:59:15,920 Speaker 1: And there's no excuse around it. And somebody like me 1098 00:59:15,960 --> 00:59:18,200 Speaker 1: who tries to be like a highbrow, You're right, A 1099 00:59:18,280 --> 00:59:21,200 Speaker 1: power is attractive, and I want to see somebody out 1100 00:59:21,200 --> 00:59:24,120 Speaker 1: there moving and making deals and ambitious because that's attractive. 1101 00:59:24,400 --> 00:59:26,680 Speaker 1: That is attractive. Somebody going out there to get it 1102 00:59:26,720 --> 00:59:29,680 Speaker 1: is attractive. I will add this caveat no one will 1103 00:59:29,680 --> 00:59:32,200 Speaker 1: believe it. You don't have to be a billionaire. You 1104 00:59:32,200 --> 00:59:34,640 Speaker 1: don't have to have a private jet. You don't have. 1105 00:59:34,720 --> 00:59:36,880 Speaker 1: But if I see you out here hustling and get it, 1106 00:59:36,880 --> 00:59:40,760 Speaker 1: and I see people you're you own a convenience store 1107 00:59:40,800 --> 00:59:42,720 Speaker 1: and your employees react to you in a certain way, 1108 00:59:42,760 --> 00:59:45,960 Speaker 1: I'm like, that's attractive. Like my point is is that 1109 00:59:46,040 --> 00:59:50,760 Speaker 1: it doesn't have to be at that magnitude. And oftentimes 1110 00:59:50,760 --> 00:59:54,320 Speaker 1: I think men can sometimes be delusional about this part 1111 00:59:54,360 --> 00:59:56,920 Speaker 1: of it, right, because it's all aesthetics for men to 1112 00:59:57,000 --> 00:59:58,880 Speaker 1: be honest, Like because when you see in women Too, 1113 00:59:58,960 --> 01:00:01,760 Speaker 1: Women too, women too, but a woman is more willing. 1114 01:00:01,920 --> 01:00:05,120 Speaker 1: A guy ain't gonna date a woman because she's powerful 1115 01:00:05,280 --> 01:00:07,640 Speaker 1: and people react to her a certain way. Some guys 1116 01:00:07,640 --> 01:00:09,960 Speaker 1: will because I think Eisa groupiece as well, But like 1117 01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:12,360 Speaker 1: if she got a belly, Like a woman doesn't believe 1118 01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:15,800 Speaker 1: because she's successful she can be ageless because she's successful. 1119 01:00:15,840 --> 01:00:18,320 Speaker 1: She can have a belly because she's successful and the 1120 01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:20,360 Speaker 1: people react to her and she's famous that she can 1121 01:00:20,400 --> 01:00:23,400 Speaker 1: just be like I'm just here. We don't believe that 1122 01:00:23,440 --> 01:00:27,920 Speaker 1: works in our favor, correct, Cary, You're so right. I 1123 01:00:27,960 --> 01:00:30,000 Speaker 1: mean I don't think that. I think you're right, but 1124 01:00:30,600 --> 01:00:33,960 Speaker 1: I got beyonest with you. This is be honest with me. 1125 01:00:34,040 --> 01:00:42,920 Speaker 1: Let me ask. Is fascinating because I haven't because this 1126 01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:47,040 Speaker 1: is fascinating. It's fascinating because look, I remember the first 1127 01:00:47,040 --> 01:00:49,560 Speaker 1: time I met you. I'm like, oh shit, that's like 1128 01:00:49,680 --> 01:00:52,560 Speaker 1: carry champion, Like I wake up. I watch fucking sports 1129 01:00:52,560 --> 01:00:56,200 Speaker 1: centers carry Champion like the whole fucking time. It's like 1130 01:00:56,440 --> 01:01:01,280 Speaker 1: you're in so many we It's like I don't know Yeah, 1131 01:01:01,680 --> 01:01:04,320 Speaker 1: when somebody's at ESPN, you don't get a chance to 1132 01:01:04,400 --> 01:01:07,600 Speaker 1: like really talk to them, and like he didn't get 1133 01:01:07,640 --> 01:01:12,200 Speaker 1: their worldview, and this is this is fascinating to hear. 1134 01:01:12,560 --> 01:01:17,400 Speaker 1: Why is it fascinating to you? Because I wouldn't think 1135 01:01:17,440 --> 01:01:19,960 Speaker 1: that I would think that we would talk about the 1136 01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:21,840 Speaker 1: seventy six ers or something like that. I don't know, 1137 01:01:24,440 --> 01:01:27,360 Speaker 1: Can I say something? Can I say something? So I've 1138 01:01:27,360 --> 01:01:30,800 Speaker 1: been thinking about doing a podcast about relationships, and I 1139 01:01:30,840 --> 01:01:35,000 Speaker 1: will say this, I've been looking for a counterpart who 1140 01:01:35,040 --> 01:01:37,040 Speaker 1: will go to tote total me because I feel like, 1141 01:01:37,120 --> 01:01:39,919 Speaker 1: and I will say this caveat if someone's listening, I'm dating. 1142 01:01:39,960 --> 01:01:43,000 Speaker 1: I'm happy, I'm in a really good relationship. But I 1143 01:01:43,040 --> 01:01:45,440 Speaker 1: do feel like there are so many of my friends 1144 01:01:45,480 --> 01:01:47,640 Speaker 1: who are going through this battle every single day. And 1145 01:01:47,640 --> 01:01:49,760 Speaker 1: then of course I'm around a bunch of athletes and 1146 01:01:49,760 --> 01:01:51,760 Speaker 1: the ship that they like and it's that they do. 1147 01:01:51,920 --> 01:01:54,440 Speaker 1: It's so ridiculous, And in my mind, I'm like, are 1148 01:01:54,440 --> 01:01:57,560 Speaker 1: you really you're about to have ten babies? You about 1149 01:01:57,560 --> 01:02:00,360 Speaker 1: to have ten babies with three different women or it's 1150 01:02:00,400 --> 01:02:03,000 Speaker 1: just like I employ you to not count them because 1151 01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:06,280 Speaker 1: that's such a that's such an unrealistic view of how 1152 01:02:06,320 --> 01:02:13,600 Speaker 1: it happens. Like those guys are because little unicorns that 1153 01:02:13,680 --> 01:02:17,480 Speaker 1: throughout their whole life have been told that they're special 1154 01:02:17,640 --> 01:02:20,880 Speaker 1: and because they are. Right. It's like, if you can't 1155 01:02:20,920 --> 01:02:24,320 Speaker 1: like those, I understand that because like and and and 1156 01:02:24,520 --> 01:02:26,840 Speaker 1: LA will do that. LA will do that to you 1157 01:02:26,920 --> 01:02:29,680 Speaker 1: as well, because you're in When I'm in Baton Rouge, right, 1158 01:02:29,720 --> 01:02:31,760 Speaker 1: we all go into the club, we all go in there, 1159 01:02:31,800 --> 01:02:33,640 Speaker 1: we danced, will we sweaty? We come out of the 1160 01:02:33,640 --> 01:02:36,880 Speaker 1: club dripping wet and sweat. You're going to you're going 1161 01:02:36,960 --> 01:02:39,880 Speaker 1: to a club in La. You look around and it's like, yo, 1162 01:02:40,160 --> 01:02:43,280 Speaker 1: it's really rich niggas in here. Like it's like they 1163 01:02:43,320 --> 01:02:46,800 Speaker 1: are really rich, but they're not playing. These are These 1164 01:02:46,800 --> 01:02:49,240 Speaker 1: are not the dope dealers off your block or the 1165 01:02:49,320 --> 01:02:52,360 Speaker 1: guys that are THEO and when I'm from the dudes 1166 01:02:52,360 --> 01:02:54,600 Speaker 1: that promoted the parties were the dudes that had the 1167 01:02:54,640 --> 01:02:56,720 Speaker 1: most money. To be honest with you, you know what 1168 01:02:56,800 --> 01:03:02,680 Speaker 1: I mean. But yeah, here, especially back like before, like 1169 01:03:02,760 --> 01:03:05,200 Speaker 1: I walk into club and see fucking Kevin Durant in there. 1170 01:03:05,800 --> 01:03:07,880 Speaker 1: You you start to think to yourself, well, what the 1171 01:03:07,880 --> 01:03:10,520 Speaker 1: fuck am I supposed to do? You know, like in 1172 01:03:10,560 --> 01:03:12,600 Speaker 1: the old days you saw to think. Now you start 1173 01:03:12,640 --> 01:03:15,080 Speaker 1: to think to yourself, well, what the hell was going 1174 01:03:15,160 --> 01:03:16,800 Speaker 1: on in here? I first got when I first got 1175 01:03:16,840 --> 01:03:20,040 Speaker 1: to La the first couple of years, I was out here, like, 1176 01:03:20,280 --> 01:03:24,720 Speaker 1: I look and I see God damn fucking Leonard Dicapriol's 1177 01:03:24,880 --> 01:03:29,440 Speaker 1: like at the skybar, like and it's like a line. 1178 01:03:29,640 --> 01:03:32,280 Speaker 1: It's like a line, like a photo booth to meet him. 1179 01:03:32,840 --> 01:03:34,760 Speaker 1: So you're talking about somebody who grew up here. So 1180 01:03:34,840 --> 01:03:37,480 Speaker 1: if I see George Clooney a store about Starbucks, I'm like, 1181 01:03:37,520 --> 01:03:39,960 Speaker 1: that's really George Clooney a Starbucks. Like in college, I 1182 01:03:39,960 --> 01:03:43,120 Speaker 1: thought there's church. See that's different. That's different for me. 1183 01:03:43,160 --> 01:03:46,320 Speaker 1: And so but like I when I go back home, 1184 01:03:46,800 --> 01:03:50,240 Speaker 1: sometimes black people just meet fucking get married. It's just 1185 01:03:50,760 --> 01:03:53,760 Speaker 1: that's it. It's sometimes they just it's much more simple, 1186 01:03:53,880 --> 01:03:57,520 Speaker 1: it's much more easy. Yeah, And you're that's what That's 1187 01:03:57,520 --> 01:03:59,280 Speaker 1: what I started off. When I talked about your book, 1188 01:03:59,280 --> 01:04:01,360 Speaker 1: I was like, your mentality is very different, even though 1189 01:04:01,600 --> 01:04:04,600 Speaker 1: you've been indoctrinated into this Hollywood world, your mentality is 1190 01:04:04,680 --> 01:04:08,320 Speaker 1: very different. Every champion and carry champion is to be 1191 01:04:08,360 --> 01:04:11,680 Speaker 1: a champion of champion and carry champion and carry champion, 1192 01:04:11,800 --> 01:04:15,400 Speaker 1: a champion and carry champion and carry champion raids and sports. 1193 01:04:15,440 --> 01:04:19,560 Speaker 1: And then the taming can nakeh work very champion and 1194 01:04:19,720 --> 01:04:22,360 Speaker 1: carry champion. Is to be a champion, a champion, they 1195 01:04:22,440 --> 01:04:26,880 Speaker 1: carry champion, the champion, they carry champion, they carry champion 1196 01:04:27,680 --> 01:04:31,280 Speaker 1: sports and take worm. I have to say this, Okay, 1197 01:04:31,280 --> 01:04:32,440 Speaker 1: so this is I know you thought I was going 1198 01:04:32,480 --> 01:04:34,440 Speaker 1: to talk about sports, but I have been a fan 1199 01:04:34,520 --> 01:04:37,240 Speaker 1: since TMZ and people often ask you about that moment 1200 01:04:37,520 --> 01:04:40,280 Speaker 1: when you left or when you know, when you I 1201 01:04:40,280 --> 01:04:43,040 Speaker 1: don't know the y'all broke up. Yeah, yeah, I was like, 1202 01:04:43,080 --> 01:04:46,000 Speaker 1: I don't know if I did you want to say that? Yeah, yeah, 1203 01:04:46,000 --> 01:04:49,040 Speaker 1: it's fine. So you get fired. And the first thing 1204 01:04:49,040 --> 01:04:51,240 Speaker 1: I thought was what a horrible What a horrible loss 1205 01:04:51,280 --> 01:04:54,200 Speaker 1: for TMZ, What a horrible loss for tam Z. But 1206 01:04:54,240 --> 01:04:56,680 Speaker 1: also what a wonderful opportunity for him to make his 1207 01:04:56,760 --> 01:04:59,600 Speaker 1: way and to to use this platform to share his 1208 01:04:59,600 --> 01:05:01,360 Speaker 1: message because they kind of got in the way. If 1209 01:05:01,360 --> 01:05:03,720 Speaker 1: I'm being honest, you don't necessarily need that type of 1210 01:05:03,760 --> 01:05:06,440 Speaker 1: platform to help to give your message. And I've watched you, 1211 01:05:06,840 --> 01:05:09,000 Speaker 1: and I don't say anything, but I quietly watch you, 1212 01:05:09,040 --> 01:05:11,640 Speaker 1: and I think he's doing it and I love it 1213 01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:15,800 Speaker 1: because you're in spite of Did you ever think that 1214 01:05:15,880 --> 01:05:17,680 Speaker 1: you would be at a point in your career where 1215 01:05:17,720 --> 01:05:20,280 Speaker 1: your opinion mattered where people would wake up and look 1216 01:05:20,320 --> 01:05:22,320 Speaker 1: to see what you're tweeting or saying or what your 1217 01:05:22,360 --> 01:05:24,880 Speaker 1: podcast is saying. And I'm saying this from someone who 1218 01:05:24,960 --> 01:05:26,680 Speaker 1: hear The woman who does my makeup, she's like, I 1219 01:05:26,760 --> 01:05:28,800 Speaker 1: was listening to Van. I'm like, if you keep telling 1220 01:05:28,840 --> 01:05:32,840 Speaker 1: me about Van, Van said this today and it's gospel 1221 01:05:32,920 --> 01:05:35,920 Speaker 1: for her. My best friend who who loved your book, 1222 01:05:35,960 --> 01:05:39,680 Speaker 1: who battles with her weight? Oh, is this gospel for me? 1223 01:05:40,000 --> 01:05:41,560 Speaker 1: Did you ever think that you would be in this 1224 01:05:41,640 --> 01:05:45,560 Speaker 1: position from when you left TMZ or when you got 1225 01:05:45,560 --> 01:05:47,600 Speaker 1: fire from TNZ to where we are now? Do you 1226 01:05:47,640 --> 01:05:50,560 Speaker 1: ever feel like this was the vision? No? Not really, 1227 01:05:50,720 --> 01:05:55,280 Speaker 1: because I think that that when I speak and I 1228 01:05:55,360 --> 01:05:57,080 Speaker 1: say stuff, is it feels like stuff that I have 1229 01:05:57,120 --> 01:05:59,720 Speaker 1: to say. I was one of those people that would 1230 01:05:59,720 --> 01:06:02,800 Speaker 1: just be remember it being in the sixth grade and 1231 01:06:02,840 --> 01:06:05,919 Speaker 1: this politician came to to our school and he's talking. 1232 01:06:05,960 --> 01:06:08,320 Speaker 1: I just remember sitting there arrested, like I have to 1233 01:06:08,360 --> 01:06:10,600 Speaker 1: be able to say something. I have to say, you 1234 01:06:10,960 --> 01:06:13,040 Speaker 1: have to say something it's almost like an anxiety, like 1235 01:06:13,120 --> 01:06:15,840 Speaker 1: a response I have to say something, And so I 1236 01:06:15,920 --> 01:06:18,480 Speaker 1: never really thought that it would be and I think 1237 01:06:18,520 --> 01:06:21,360 Speaker 1: most people that, like obviously Charlotmagne's like that. Charlomagne just 1238 01:06:21,640 --> 01:06:23,479 Speaker 1: like he'll call you up and rank for like two 1239 01:06:23,520 --> 01:06:27,520 Speaker 1: hours because he'd be high, yeah, like over for something 1240 01:06:27,520 --> 01:06:29,800 Speaker 1: like He'll he'll call you up and rant for like 1241 01:06:29,800 --> 01:06:32,440 Speaker 1: two hours because he really has shit. He has to 1242 01:06:32,440 --> 01:06:35,800 Speaker 1: get off his chest, and he like has a platform 1243 01:06:35,840 --> 01:06:37,400 Speaker 1: to do it. So I never really thought that. And 1244 01:06:37,440 --> 01:06:39,920 Speaker 1: to be honest with you, being at TMZ for as 1245 01:06:39,920 --> 01:06:43,200 Speaker 1: long as I was, it was like it was like, 1246 01:06:43,200 --> 01:06:46,360 Speaker 1: for a time I thought that the reputation of the 1247 01:06:47,200 --> 01:06:49,320 Speaker 1: platform would be an albatross around my neck that I 1248 01:06:49,320 --> 01:06:51,520 Speaker 1: would never be able to shake free up. And if 1249 01:06:51,640 --> 01:06:56,640 Speaker 1: if it's if anything that is the divine work of 1250 01:06:56,680 --> 01:06:58,800 Speaker 1: the Kanye West moment, the divine work of the Kanye 1251 01:06:58,880 --> 01:07:03,960 Speaker 1: West moment. It was almost like God saying to me, 1252 01:07:04,520 --> 01:07:07,160 Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you an opportunity to show people who 1253 01:07:07,200 --> 01:07:09,760 Speaker 1: you really are, whether or not you take it like, 1254 01:07:09,760 --> 01:07:13,080 Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you an opportunity. Even beyond all of 1255 01:07:13,080 --> 01:07:15,000 Speaker 1: this other stuff, I had great relationships with people I 1256 01:07:15,040 --> 01:07:17,280 Speaker 1: was able to meet up a bunch of people, most 1257 01:07:17,280 --> 01:07:19,240 Speaker 1: people that have watched the show, like me, I was 1258 01:07:19,280 --> 01:07:23,040 Speaker 1: demand there already, but it was like like with him 1259 01:07:23,040 --> 01:07:25,160 Speaker 1: walking in there, it was like, I'm gonna give you 1260 01:07:25,840 --> 01:07:29,760 Speaker 1: one moment to show people who you really are and 1261 01:07:29,800 --> 01:07:32,960 Speaker 1: that can get you, that can change the perception of you. 1262 01:07:33,040 --> 01:07:36,920 Speaker 1: And I think it was it was luck that it 1263 01:07:37,040 --> 01:07:39,120 Speaker 1: happened that way, but I also think it was divine 1264 01:07:39,160 --> 01:07:45,120 Speaker 1: timing that like I me at the moment. So that's why, like, 1265 01:07:45,240 --> 01:07:48,400 Speaker 1: no matter what happens, it's like, with as much work 1266 01:07:48,440 --> 01:07:52,760 Speaker 1: as you've done in your in your career, I bet 1267 01:07:52,920 --> 01:07:55,200 Speaker 1: that there's a part of you that believes that being 1268 01:07:55,240 --> 01:07:59,320 Speaker 1: prepared for whatever opportunity might come to you it's probably 1269 01:07:59,360 --> 01:08:01,960 Speaker 1: the most importan and think like, at some point you're 1270 01:08:02,000 --> 01:08:04,760 Speaker 1: gonna get that shot. The point is whether or not 1271 01:08:04,800 --> 01:08:07,240 Speaker 1: you're prepared. I would show up to work every day. 1272 01:08:07,680 --> 01:08:09,680 Speaker 1: I would work to holidays of teams, either get more 1273 01:08:09,760 --> 01:08:12,800 Speaker 1: camera time, whatever I could do to stretch my legs 1274 01:08:12,840 --> 01:08:15,080 Speaker 1: there to make me a fix you're there, I would 1275 01:08:15,080 --> 01:08:16,880 Speaker 1: so by the time something like that happens, I'm ready 1276 01:08:16,880 --> 01:08:25,439 Speaker 1: for you. Did you do you think you're a celebrity? Now. Yes, 1277 01:08:26,400 --> 01:08:30,760 Speaker 1: I think I think I'm people's homeboy. I think I'm 1278 01:08:30,760 --> 01:08:33,040 Speaker 1: a I think I'm a popular friend. I think Brad 1279 01:08:33,080 --> 01:08:36,400 Speaker 1: Pitt is a celebrity. I think I think when people, 1280 01:08:36,479 --> 01:08:39,240 Speaker 1: when people, when people come up to me, they're like, 1281 01:08:39,520 --> 01:08:43,080 Speaker 1: they want to talk. I think that's amazing, Like they 1282 01:08:43,240 --> 01:08:46,439 Speaker 1: want to talk. Like people respond to me from the 1283 01:08:46,479 --> 01:08:49,320 Speaker 1: stuff that I do on the Wringer, from the podcast 1284 01:08:49,320 --> 01:08:51,080 Speaker 1: I've rated. No matter what I'm talking about, whether the 1285 01:08:51,040 --> 01:08:53,439 Speaker 1: stars or whatever, they want to have a conversation with me. 1286 01:08:53,560 --> 01:08:56,320 Speaker 1: They want to engage with me. I think being a 1287 01:08:56,360 --> 01:09:00,280 Speaker 1: celebrity is vastly, vastly overrated, and I think that my 1288 01:09:00,320 --> 01:09:06,000 Speaker 1: time at TMZ has driven that home more than anything. 1289 01:09:06,880 --> 01:09:10,160 Speaker 1: I think there are celebrities, and then they're there are contributors, 1290 01:09:10,160 --> 01:09:13,840 Speaker 1: and then there are artists, and um, I'm a contributor 1291 01:09:13,920 --> 01:09:18,920 Speaker 1: right now, but I'm hoping to be an artist. Have 1292 01:09:18,960 --> 01:09:24,439 Speaker 1: you been affected by Hollywood? Sure? I went through a 1293 01:09:24,479 --> 01:09:26,559 Speaker 1: time where I thought I was the man. How could 1294 01:09:26,560 --> 01:09:29,800 Speaker 1: you not? You know? I went through a ten year 1295 01:09:29,840 --> 01:09:32,439 Speaker 1: period of like hiding myself and making sure that nobody 1296 01:09:32,439 --> 01:09:36,280 Speaker 1: saw me. Um to making sure that everyone saw me, 1297 01:09:36,320 --> 01:09:38,920 Speaker 1: because whenever somebody saw me, they had a big smile 1298 01:09:38,960 --> 01:09:41,959 Speaker 1: and a panel on the back for me. So I think, uh, 1299 01:09:42,000 --> 01:09:46,559 Speaker 1: it's super difficult um to not lose yourself. And there's 1300 01:09:46,600 --> 01:09:49,240 Speaker 1: and there's a there's mirrord ways that it happens. Right. 1301 01:09:50,720 --> 01:09:55,200 Speaker 1: It's like when when the thing with Ya first happened, 1302 01:09:56,560 --> 01:09:59,200 Speaker 1: I went I made it very I made a very 1303 01:09:59,200 --> 01:10:03,519 Speaker 1: deliberate point next day to go on Instagram and make 1304 01:10:03,520 --> 01:10:06,680 Speaker 1: sure that I directed people to Jason Wilson and a 1305 01:10:06,720 --> 01:10:10,519 Speaker 1: cave of Adullam in Detroit and what they're doing for 1306 01:10:10,520 --> 01:10:12,040 Speaker 1: the kids up there, just to make sure that I 1307 01:10:12,160 --> 01:10:14,400 Speaker 1: use it for something good. Now, what happened over the 1308 01:10:14,479 --> 01:10:18,559 Speaker 1: course of the next x a couple of months or whatever, 1309 01:10:19,680 --> 01:10:22,120 Speaker 1: was that people would send me different videos, send me 1310 01:10:22,200 --> 01:10:25,880 Speaker 1: videos of black people being beat up on buses of 1311 01:10:25,960 --> 01:10:27,880 Speaker 1: all types of different things like that They're like, yo, 1312 01:10:27,920 --> 01:10:30,519 Speaker 1: post this, post this, like have you seen what happened? 1313 01:10:30,520 --> 01:10:32,519 Speaker 1: Bla blah blah. Because I became like an advocate, like 1314 01:10:32,520 --> 01:10:36,280 Speaker 1: a warrior, right, And the reality is is that that's 1315 01:10:36,320 --> 01:10:40,160 Speaker 1: like not me, Like talking about the conditions of black 1316 01:10:40,200 --> 01:10:43,320 Speaker 1: people is something inherent to me, but triggering black people 1317 01:10:43,320 --> 01:10:45,000 Speaker 1: every day and this is not me coming to anybody 1318 01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:47,519 Speaker 1: who does this because people have to know what's going 1319 01:10:47,560 --> 01:10:51,000 Speaker 1: on triggering black people every day, and triggering myself by 1320 01:10:51,040 --> 01:10:53,719 Speaker 1: images of black people getting sucked over, being by the police, 1321 01:10:54,120 --> 01:10:57,200 Speaker 1: being at the waffle house, being at wherever. It's not 1322 01:10:57,200 --> 01:10:59,280 Speaker 1: who I am. I wasn't doing that before, So why 1323 01:10:59,320 --> 01:11:02,240 Speaker 1: would I do it now? When you go to when 1324 01:11:02,240 --> 01:11:04,800 Speaker 1: you go to my Instagram, You're gonna see, like, um, 1325 01:11:05,880 --> 01:11:09,200 Speaker 1: the whole canvas, the whole painting of who I am, 1326 01:11:09,560 --> 01:11:13,880 Speaker 1: funny shit, dumb shit. You're gonna see some things that 1327 01:11:13,920 --> 01:11:16,439 Speaker 1: I feel like the community should be aware of, and 1328 01:11:16,439 --> 01:11:18,320 Speaker 1: you're gonna see some things that are that are caused 1329 01:11:18,320 --> 01:11:22,559 Speaker 1: my personal but all away from like my personal life, 1330 01:11:22,640 --> 01:11:26,080 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And so I decided that 1331 01:11:26,240 --> 01:11:28,280 Speaker 1: rather than do that and try to get to a 1332 01:11:28,360 --> 01:11:30,400 Speaker 1: million and a million and a half two million followers 1333 01:11:30,720 --> 01:11:33,599 Speaker 1: by putting things on there that would trigger people over 1334 01:11:33,640 --> 01:11:35,080 Speaker 1: and over and over again, that I was just gonna 1335 01:11:35,120 --> 01:11:37,479 Speaker 1: be me. I was just gonna be me. Some of 1336 01:11:37,479 --> 01:11:39,599 Speaker 1: the ship was gonna be stupid, some of the ship 1337 01:11:39,760 --> 01:11:42,559 Speaker 1: was going to be uh is gonna have some outreach 1338 01:11:42,600 --> 01:11:44,000 Speaker 1: to it, and some of it was gonna be challenging 1339 01:11:44,040 --> 01:11:45,720 Speaker 1: and wrong. But I'm just going to be me. And 1340 01:11:45,800 --> 01:11:50,000 Speaker 1: I think the hardest thing to do once you've received 1341 01:11:50,200 --> 01:11:53,599 Speaker 1: any sort of notoriety at all. That's even if you're 1342 01:11:53,600 --> 01:11:58,720 Speaker 1: just on TMZ in LA when you moved to LA. 1343 01:11:58,760 --> 01:12:00,639 Speaker 1: Because the people I know from LA, I keep telling 1344 01:12:00,640 --> 01:12:03,360 Speaker 1: people this, people I know from LA are super duper real. 1345 01:12:03,800 --> 01:12:06,200 Speaker 1: They're the realest people. The people I know from that like, 1346 01:12:06,320 --> 01:12:08,240 Speaker 1: they're real. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. People say 1347 01:12:08,400 --> 01:12:10,200 Speaker 1: LA is fake. It's like, nah, y'all came out here 1348 01:12:10,240 --> 01:12:13,800 Speaker 1: to be the prom king and and you guys are 1349 01:12:14,080 --> 01:12:15,880 Speaker 1: in Hollywood. You're really not even talking about it LA. 1350 01:12:15,920 --> 01:12:21,120 Speaker 1: You're talking about between Santa Monica and fucking out. You 1351 01:12:21,160 --> 01:12:23,599 Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. By the way, you for you 1352 01:12:23,640 --> 01:12:25,320 Speaker 1: to say that, it's such about I say that, so 1353 01:12:25,439 --> 01:12:27,280 Speaker 1: you come here the people from a layer as honest 1354 01:12:27,280 --> 01:12:29,080 Speaker 1: as they get. I love you for being like I'm 1355 01:12:29,120 --> 01:12:31,080 Speaker 1: getting dating. I'm like, no, I'm just being like, this 1356 01:12:31,160 --> 01:12:33,240 Speaker 1: is what I feel like. I don't know any other 1357 01:12:33,280 --> 01:12:36,200 Speaker 1: way to be like I was trying to say, to 1358 01:12:36,240 --> 01:12:38,439 Speaker 1: really be honest with you. It's like I was trying 1359 01:12:38,439 --> 01:12:40,080 Speaker 1: to say to you, Damn, Carrie, I didn't know you 1360 01:12:40,160 --> 01:12:43,120 Speaker 1: kept at this gangster. That's what I was trying, That's 1361 01:12:43,160 --> 01:12:44,760 Speaker 1: all I was trying to say. But no, I guess 1362 01:12:45,160 --> 01:12:46,720 Speaker 1: my point is. And so when you come out here 1363 01:12:46,760 --> 01:12:50,080 Speaker 1: and it starts to happen, it's the most important thing 1364 01:12:50,120 --> 01:12:52,840 Speaker 1: to do. It's just man, stay the course of who 1365 01:12:52,880 --> 01:12:56,599 Speaker 1: you are, correct, Like, just stay the course of who 1366 01:12:56,640 --> 01:12:59,839 Speaker 1: you are. And because it's different, everybody looks at you different. 1367 01:13:00,080 --> 01:13:02,200 Speaker 1: Like if you're playing and you're playing basketball in the 1368 01:13:02,280 --> 01:13:04,400 Speaker 1: gym after you've been here for a while, you're playing 1369 01:13:04,400 --> 01:13:06,840 Speaker 1: basketball for at the gym and you see one of 1370 01:13:06,840 --> 01:13:09,880 Speaker 1: your homies in a commercial and oh shit, he got 1371 01:13:09,920 --> 01:13:13,240 Speaker 1: that commercial. And it's this weird little pecking order that 1372 01:13:13,320 --> 01:13:16,520 Speaker 1: starts to exist everywhere. And once you get on television, 1373 01:13:17,040 --> 01:13:19,519 Speaker 1: it really starts to comfort people like, oh, well, you 1374 01:13:19,600 --> 01:13:21,640 Speaker 1: must be doing you on TMC every day, so you 1375 01:13:21,720 --> 01:13:24,439 Speaker 1: must be doing something right, so now let me So 1376 01:13:24,479 --> 01:13:27,400 Speaker 1: it's just weird. And so sometimes you can lose yourself 1377 01:13:27,400 --> 01:13:29,200 Speaker 1: in and I try not to, but I did for 1378 01:13:29,200 --> 01:13:31,760 Speaker 1: a little while. You did for a little while. And 1379 01:13:31,800 --> 01:13:33,639 Speaker 1: by the way, that's an honest I ask you that 1380 01:13:33,760 --> 01:13:36,320 Speaker 1: I don't I wouldn't know. I wouldn't know outside looking in. 1381 01:13:36,400 --> 01:13:38,479 Speaker 1: But it can happen, and it does happen. It's a 1382 01:13:38,560 --> 01:13:42,280 Speaker 1: it's a real thing. You um. And then and also too, 1383 01:13:43,040 --> 01:13:45,240 Speaker 1: you start to lose patience with a lot of things, 1384 01:13:45,280 --> 01:13:47,160 Speaker 1: like you start to demand or expect a lot of 1385 01:13:47,160 --> 01:13:51,960 Speaker 1: things that you normally wouldn't demand or expect. I we 1386 01:13:52,040 --> 01:13:55,280 Speaker 1: just we treat people differently, we act differently, we want differently, 1387 01:13:55,360 --> 01:13:58,680 Speaker 1: We just we just behave differently. And that's okay, and 1388 01:13:58,840 --> 01:14:00,680 Speaker 1: nothing is wrong with that. I don't want that to 1389 01:14:00,720 --> 01:14:04,160 Speaker 1: ever to be a slight. But I am fascinated when 1390 01:14:04,200 --> 01:14:07,360 Speaker 1: you use that. We're fascinated. I am fascinated by your trajectory. 1391 01:14:07,680 --> 01:14:10,720 Speaker 1: And I also I'm fascinated by how you chose to 1392 01:14:12,040 --> 01:14:14,479 Speaker 1: do it your way, like you're still out here doing 1393 01:14:14,520 --> 01:14:17,120 Speaker 1: it all. So then you get you get involved with 1394 01:14:17,200 --> 01:14:22,639 Speaker 1: this project which ultimately manifest into an OSCAR and an 1395 01:14:22,680 --> 01:14:28,240 Speaker 1: Academy award. And I remember you posting something and I'm thinking, Wow, 1396 01:14:28,280 --> 01:14:31,519 Speaker 1: what a powerful moment, Just wow, just wow, Like I 1397 01:14:31,920 --> 01:14:35,719 Speaker 1: think maybe even our mutual friend did Bosama post about 1398 01:14:35,720 --> 01:14:37,599 Speaker 1: a text that you guys had had a Texas change 1399 01:14:37,600 --> 01:14:41,000 Speaker 1: you had Bosama Saint John shout out to my bestie, 1400 01:14:41,479 --> 01:14:46,000 Speaker 1: And I thought that was really powerful too. Talk to 1401 01:14:46,000 --> 01:14:48,479 Speaker 1: me about the moment that you won the Oscar. How 1402 01:14:48,479 --> 01:14:52,120 Speaker 1: it all came to be the project that so Treyvon 1403 01:14:52,240 --> 01:14:55,599 Speaker 1: Free like Nick May six feet over productions we are 1404 01:14:55,880 --> 01:15:01,000 Speaker 1: it's let's say it's late twenty nineteen, in early twenty twenty, 1405 01:15:01,880 --> 01:15:04,320 Speaker 1: we're meeting at Lawrence Benders house. Traymont was living at 1406 01:15:04,360 --> 01:15:07,080 Speaker 1: Laura Laura's Beenders house at this time. So we're meeting 1407 01:15:07,080 --> 01:15:10,040 Speaker 1: at Lawrence Benders House and we're talking about what we're 1408 01:15:10,040 --> 01:15:13,479 Speaker 1: going to do, Like we're gonna start a production company 1409 01:15:13,479 --> 01:15:15,240 Speaker 1: and we're gonna make them. We're gonna make a movie 1410 01:15:15,320 --> 01:15:17,040 Speaker 1: or a television show. Where are we gonna sell We're 1411 01:15:17,040 --> 01:15:19,840 Speaker 1: gonna do so pre pandemics that we would go there, 1412 01:15:20,479 --> 01:15:23,000 Speaker 1: um and we would sit down and we would discuss 1413 01:15:23,040 --> 01:15:26,479 Speaker 1: this stuff. Nick. Me and Nick had started to work 1414 01:15:26,640 --> 01:15:29,160 Speaker 1: worked and working together. We had come on as executive 1415 01:15:29,160 --> 01:15:33,040 Speaker 1: producers on another movie called Uppity Uh that was about 1416 01:15:33,040 --> 01:15:37,040 Speaker 1: Willie t Ribbs, the first black stock car driver. At 1417 01:15:37,080 --> 01:15:39,880 Speaker 1: the end five hundred um. Nick had helped me his 1418 01:15:40,120 --> 01:15:41,920 Speaker 1: every duvernai as his sister. He had helped me get 1419 01:15:41,920 --> 01:15:44,679 Speaker 1: Abrahm my podcast with me and Nick were were working Agains. 1420 01:15:44,680 --> 01:15:49,280 Speaker 1: I met Nick through Charlottage. So um, we're talking about 1421 01:15:49,320 --> 01:15:51,280 Speaker 1: all of this stuff. We're getting ideas together. What are 1422 01:15:51,280 --> 01:15:52,439 Speaker 1: we gonna do? What are we gonna do? Where we 1423 01:15:52,439 --> 01:15:56,840 Speaker 1: would do? The pandemic comes. Bandemic comes, and obviously there 1424 01:15:56,840 --> 01:15:59,920 Speaker 1: are no meetings, there's no getting together at Lawrence's house. 1425 01:16:00,040 --> 01:16:02,880 Speaker 1: Everybody stops, all of our hair grows out, We look terrible. 1426 01:16:03,960 --> 01:16:13,160 Speaker 1: M It is about i'd say, for four months, So 1427 01:16:13,479 --> 01:16:18,479 Speaker 1: that starts in March. Maybe it's it's like it's July 1428 01:16:19,720 --> 01:16:22,880 Speaker 1: or June before we all get back together. We get there, 1429 01:16:22,960 --> 01:16:26,000 Speaker 1: we're social distancing, you know. At by this point, everybody 1430 01:16:26,040 --> 01:16:28,439 Speaker 1: that's around that weird point where everyone realized that the 1431 01:16:28,479 --> 01:16:31,960 Speaker 1: pandemic wasn't going anywhere, but everything still wasn't open again. 1432 01:16:32,360 --> 01:16:34,320 Speaker 1: We were still seeing trying of moving around, trying to 1433 01:16:34,360 --> 01:16:36,559 Speaker 1: go to dinner outside and all of that stuff. And 1434 01:16:38,040 --> 01:16:39,880 Speaker 1: we're sitting around and we'll all, right, Clay, so let's 1435 01:16:39,920 --> 01:16:41,880 Speaker 1: let's start moving again. And we're like, it's going to 1436 01:16:41,920 --> 01:16:44,560 Speaker 1: be impossible. It's like nothing that we can do. What 1437 01:16:44,640 --> 01:16:46,840 Speaker 1: are we gonna be able to do? We're gonna have 1438 01:16:46,880 --> 01:16:49,880 Speaker 1: to wait till after this is over to sell anything 1439 01:16:49,840 --> 01:16:54,240 Speaker 1: and get anything off the ground. So we're kicking things around. 1440 01:16:54,520 --> 01:16:57,920 Speaker 1: Trayvon comes with this idea, and the idea was the 1441 01:17:00,040 --> 01:17:02,960 Speaker 1: early idea that would become two dissent strangers. This is 1442 01:17:03,000 --> 01:17:08,160 Speaker 1: post George Floyd now, and the feeling that we're all 1443 01:17:08,320 --> 01:17:12,120 Speaker 1: feeling is because people we talk about George Floyd as 1444 01:17:12,160 --> 01:17:14,280 Speaker 1: if it existed in the vacuum. It didn't. It was 1445 01:17:15,320 --> 01:17:20,240 Speaker 1: our bury George Floyd, Brianna Taylor, like all happening together, 1446 01:17:20,360 --> 01:17:24,120 Speaker 1: not time wise, but we were all learning about them 1447 01:17:24,200 --> 01:17:26,360 Speaker 1: at the same time. It was like this huge thing 1448 01:17:26,400 --> 01:17:28,120 Speaker 1: to where we've been in cide for so along. Our 1449 01:17:28,120 --> 01:17:30,960 Speaker 1: brains are gonna fucking explode with everything that's going wrong 1450 01:17:31,040 --> 01:17:35,320 Speaker 1: right now for America but specifically for Black Americans. And 1451 01:17:35,400 --> 01:17:37,679 Speaker 1: so he comes with this idea and he goes, when 1452 01:17:37,680 --> 01:17:39,000 Speaker 1: we come out of the pandemic, this is what we 1453 01:17:39,040 --> 01:17:40,439 Speaker 1: should do. And I was like, nah, we got to 1454 01:17:40,479 --> 01:17:43,800 Speaker 1: do it now. It's like what And I have to 1455 01:17:43,800 --> 01:17:46,599 Speaker 1: be honest about this. The reason why we all decided 1456 01:17:46,640 --> 01:17:49,120 Speaker 1: to do it now was two reasons. Number One, we 1457 01:17:49,320 --> 01:17:52,599 Speaker 1: knew that in the climate that we were in that 1458 01:17:52,720 --> 01:17:57,519 Speaker 1: we could get this to the finish line and get 1459 01:17:57,520 --> 01:18:01,800 Speaker 1: it and because there weren't as many productions and and 1460 01:18:02,800 --> 01:18:07,519 Speaker 1: get significant buzz based upon the social the moment that 1461 01:18:07,560 --> 01:18:09,680 Speaker 1: we were in, in the climate that we were in, right, 1462 01:18:10,080 --> 01:18:12,479 Speaker 1: if we execute it, I knew we could win an Oscar. 1463 01:18:12,560 --> 01:18:15,240 Speaker 1: That's why that, that's why that you thought you could 1464 01:18:15,280 --> 01:18:18,599 Speaker 1: win an Oscar with a short oh wow. Go back 1465 01:18:18,600 --> 01:18:21,040 Speaker 1: and look at the text that I said. That's it, 1466 01:18:22,160 --> 01:18:27,240 Speaker 1: I said, Bosamba, like you didn't say Oscar on there, 1467 01:18:27,360 --> 01:18:32,360 Speaker 1: it said Oscar Bosima who we who? By the way, 1468 01:18:32,479 --> 01:18:35,360 Speaker 1: this is a great power to have in la She 1469 01:18:35,520 --> 01:18:38,240 Speaker 1: is amazing. And I was trying to get her to 1470 01:18:38,320 --> 01:18:41,160 Speaker 1: have them buy it or help us, but she couldn't. 1471 01:18:41,200 --> 01:18:43,960 Speaker 1: She couldn't even she couldn't even read the script. Uh 1472 01:18:44,280 --> 01:18:47,880 Speaker 1: she because it was unsolicited material. And she was very 1473 01:18:47,880 --> 01:18:51,719 Speaker 1: professional about it. But was somebody who helped us all 1474 01:18:51,760 --> 01:18:54,360 Speaker 1: throughout the way in terms of coming to screenings, in 1475 01:18:54,439 --> 01:18:59,519 Speaker 1: terms of being just an amazing human being, right, an 1476 01:18:59,520 --> 01:19:04,439 Speaker 1: amazing So so I told her, not said we're gonna 1477 01:19:04,439 --> 01:19:06,439 Speaker 1: win Academy war for this. I said it right then 1478 01:19:06,560 --> 01:19:08,960 Speaker 1: now to day have been shot like like not day 1479 01:19:09,000 --> 01:19:10,479 Speaker 1: have been shot, said we're gonna win an Academy war 1480 01:19:10,520 --> 01:19:14,200 Speaker 1: for this. So we do it. We execute, We get 1481 01:19:14,200 --> 01:19:17,559 Speaker 1: the award and the night of standing there being in 1482 01:19:17,560 --> 01:19:21,519 Speaker 1: the room with Jesse Williams great friend Puff was on 1483 01:19:21,560 --> 01:19:26,120 Speaker 1: that with us, Kevin Durant, puffs my guy, don't k K? 1484 01:19:26,320 --> 01:19:28,600 Speaker 1: I like, was I not supposed to say what I 1485 01:19:28,640 --> 01:19:34,400 Speaker 1: was supposed to say? Mike, Mike Conley, Kevin Durant, Rich Climbing, 1486 01:19:34,920 --> 01:19:39,800 Speaker 1: everybody that came together to make it. It was just like, man, Carrie, 1487 01:19:39,880 --> 01:19:41,720 Speaker 1: it was like we just said, fuck it, let's do it. 1488 01:19:42,520 --> 01:19:45,400 Speaker 1: Shout to everybody's a Rogers and Colin Craig. Everyone is like, 1489 01:19:45,439 --> 01:19:47,280 Speaker 1: we said, fuck it, let's do it, and we did it, 1490 01:19:47,400 --> 01:19:50,880 Speaker 1: and we we did it. And the thing about holding 1491 01:19:50,920 --> 01:19:57,639 Speaker 1: the oscar was the whole entire time I was at TMC, 1492 01:19:58,640 --> 01:20:03,960 Speaker 1: I enjoyed being on television. I enjoyed my co workers immensely. Sure, right, 1493 01:20:04,040 --> 01:20:07,360 Speaker 1: And so it's not like I hated it, But it 1494 01:20:07,400 --> 01:20:10,840 Speaker 1: wasn't inspiring. It wasn't anything that I thought, Look what 1495 01:20:10,920 --> 01:20:15,000 Speaker 1: we fucking did, and that feeling, if you ever have 1496 01:20:15,160 --> 01:20:18,160 Speaker 1: that feeling, if you ever have that feeling, look what 1497 01:20:18,280 --> 01:20:22,479 Speaker 1: we fucking did, not me we Look what we fucking did. 1498 01:20:23,120 --> 01:20:26,240 Speaker 1: If you ever have that feeling, it's just amazing. And 1499 01:20:26,360 --> 01:20:28,559 Speaker 1: sitting there like looking at that when they called our 1500 01:20:28,640 --> 01:20:32,240 Speaker 1: name out. Kalika's there like we're all together. I just 1501 01:20:32,840 --> 01:20:36,800 Speaker 1: I couldn't believe that that actually happened. I couldn't believe 1502 01:20:36,800 --> 01:20:41,559 Speaker 1: that it happened. You just gave me a whole entire sermon, 1503 01:20:41,640 --> 01:20:43,760 Speaker 1: and what you just said is so real and I 1504 01:20:43,760 --> 01:20:46,439 Speaker 1: can relate to it on every single level. It's fine, 1505 01:20:46,520 --> 01:20:48,559 Speaker 1: it's all great, But what am I doing to really 1506 01:20:48,600 --> 01:20:52,160 Speaker 1: make change? And then you get this great project done 1507 01:20:52,200 --> 01:20:54,760 Speaker 1: and it was beautiful and the genius of the casting, 1508 01:20:55,240 --> 01:20:57,360 Speaker 1: like I really didn't know Joey had that in him, 1509 01:20:57,520 --> 01:21:01,439 Speaker 1: that skill set, like it was I I was today 1510 01:21:01,560 --> 01:21:03,640 Speaker 1: years old. I was just like, this was special. It 1511 01:21:03,760 --> 01:21:08,360 Speaker 1: was really special. And I and and and I don't know. 1512 01:21:08,439 --> 01:21:10,240 Speaker 1: I think that's a great way to end because you 1513 01:21:10,320 --> 01:21:12,519 Speaker 1: knew that, Yes, while you may have had that one 1514 01:21:12,560 --> 01:21:14,680 Speaker 1: platform at a point where it seemed like it was 1515 01:21:14,720 --> 01:21:17,040 Speaker 1: all end all, it wasn't inspiring. And you're and you 1516 01:21:17,200 --> 01:21:19,519 Speaker 1: changing lives like you really are in opinions, and you're 1517 01:21:19,520 --> 01:21:21,759 Speaker 1: a part of the culture. And I like you describing 1518 01:21:21,800 --> 01:21:25,200 Speaker 1: yourself as a popular contributor. You're that popular friend, popular tributer, 1519 01:21:25,280 --> 01:21:27,840 Speaker 1: You're the popular friend. I think I think that's I 1520 01:21:27,880 --> 01:21:30,360 Speaker 1: think that's fair. And you're right about living in La. 1521 01:21:30,520 --> 01:21:33,360 Speaker 1: We just are like, okay, got it. Like, if anything, 1522 01:21:33,479 --> 01:21:35,479 Speaker 1: we're not trying to be in the scene and be seen. 1523 01:21:35,760 --> 01:21:37,320 Speaker 1: I see you a few times. I don't be in 1524 01:21:37,360 --> 01:21:44,640 Speaker 1: the scene. People from here are legitimately the least Hollywood 1525 01:21:44,680 --> 01:21:48,960 Speaker 1: people that you will ever meet. It's so weird people 1526 01:21:49,000 --> 01:21:52,240 Speaker 1: who are from here. I'm telling you, y'all talking about 1527 01:21:52,320 --> 01:21:54,800 Speaker 1: La people. Y'all never been to the GS. I don't go. 1528 01:21:55,400 --> 01:22:00,000 Speaker 1: I've never been to the GS. I got, I got, 1529 01:22:00,120 --> 01:22:01,800 Speaker 1: I got, I appreciate it. I gotta ask you one 1530 01:22:01,840 --> 01:22:04,599 Speaker 1: thing before I go, because you because you, oh, let's talk. Yeah, 1531 01:22:04,600 --> 01:22:07,160 Speaker 1: if you want to talk sports, I literally manopulous. I 1532 01:22:07,200 --> 01:22:09,040 Speaker 1: literally only do like forty five minutes an hour. I 1533 01:22:09,040 --> 01:22:11,600 Speaker 1: took twenty five extra minutes because we got into this conversation. 1534 01:22:12,000 --> 01:22:14,320 Speaker 1: Sorry about that. Whatever. If you want to talk sports, 1535 01:22:16,040 --> 01:22:19,200 Speaker 1: one thing about you, go ahead. Yes we'll go. Y'all 1536 01:22:19,240 --> 01:22:23,480 Speaker 1: gonna kick the bucket on the Chip Kelly thing. Oh gosh, 1537 01:22:23,960 --> 01:22:27,320 Speaker 1: I listen. And I'm bold about this too. The AID 1538 01:22:27,760 --> 01:22:29,840 Speaker 1: never wants to hear it. I've told the eighty over 1539 01:22:29,880 --> 01:22:31,559 Speaker 1: and over again. I was like, he's not the man, 1540 01:22:31,720 --> 01:22:34,639 Speaker 1: he's not smart, He's had his moment. It's coming, Gone, 1541 01:22:34,880 --> 01:22:37,000 Speaker 1: go get a real, like a hard nosed SEC coach 1542 01:22:37,040 --> 01:22:38,840 Speaker 1: and offer him a ton of money. I was like, 1543 01:22:38,880 --> 01:22:42,519 Speaker 1: because I honestly believe the division is weak. They're losing, 1544 01:22:42,560 --> 01:22:45,080 Speaker 1: They're losing transfer I mean literally, people are transferring all 1545 01:22:45,120 --> 01:22:46,920 Speaker 1: the time because they don't fool with Chip. Chip is 1546 01:22:46,960 --> 01:22:52,280 Speaker 1: always the smartest man in the room. Why, Oh, they're 1547 01:22:52,280 --> 01:22:55,600 Speaker 1: gonna win a division this year? Oh yes, okay, you 1548 01:22:55,600 --> 01:22:57,479 Speaker 1: don't mean like a national champe No, no, no, no no, no, no, 1549 01:22:57,680 --> 01:23:01,559 Speaker 1: I think I think. I think is ah live to 1550 01:23:01,680 --> 01:23:06,400 Speaker 1: win the division? Issue? I will If they don't, it 1551 01:23:06,479 --> 01:23:08,920 Speaker 1: will speak more about who the coaches and then and 1552 01:23:08,960 --> 01:23:11,000 Speaker 1: then who the players are. You know what I mean? 1553 01:23:11,040 --> 01:23:14,200 Speaker 1: Because in this city where everyone wants to stay in 1554 01:23:14,320 --> 01:23:16,360 Speaker 1: LA or at least come to LA and be famous, 1555 01:23:16,360 --> 01:23:21,599 Speaker 1: people understand. People understand what it means to play here. 1556 01:23:21,640 --> 01:23:24,439 Speaker 1: So I here. Here's the point all the time, when 1557 01:23:24,600 --> 01:23:26,720 Speaker 1: when the Lakers are looking for a head coach, they're 1558 01:23:26,760 --> 01:23:28,559 Speaker 1: also looking for somebody who could step out of mass 1559 01:23:28,640 --> 01:23:30,800 Speaker 1: rows and be like, I'm with my boo. They're looking 1560 01:23:30,840 --> 01:23:34,160 Speaker 1: for the slick shit, right, they're always But they took 1561 01:23:34,200 --> 01:23:36,920 Speaker 1: a page from McK cronin. Who isn't slick? Just hard nose, 1562 01:23:36,960 --> 01:23:38,920 Speaker 1: put my head down. I'm this big as a head 1563 01:23:38,920 --> 01:23:41,559 Speaker 1: coach for UCLA, and I'm about winning. I don't care 1564 01:23:41,600 --> 01:23:43,519 Speaker 1: about any of the other ship, which is why the 1565 01:23:43,520 --> 01:23:46,599 Speaker 1: players have done so well getting them over, getting them 1566 01:23:46,640 --> 01:23:49,120 Speaker 1: like minded, the mentality and not being pretty. To win 1567 01:23:49,160 --> 01:23:50,880 Speaker 1: it is something totally different, like to go for the 1568 01:23:50,960 --> 01:23:54,080 Speaker 1: kiel shot, like go take the game, Go take the game. 1569 01:23:54,479 --> 01:23:56,639 Speaker 1: Like a lot of the guys that we recruit are 1570 01:23:56,680 --> 01:24:01,080 Speaker 1: do have this this Hollywood sensibility, and sometimes it's been 1571 01:24:01,120 --> 01:24:03,800 Speaker 1: given to them. They're not I didn't grow up in 1572 01:24:03,840 --> 01:24:05,720 Speaker 1: Baton Rouge. I didn't have to fight for what I 1573 01:24:05,760 --> 01:24:07,760 Speaker 1: had to eat like we don't. These guys we get 1574 01:24:07,800 --> 01:24:09,559 Speaker 1: a lot of these guys are privileged that we get 1575 01:24:09,560 --> 01:24:11,519 Speaker 1: that play on the team like they they grew up differently, 1576 01:24:11,560 --> 01:24:13,840 Speaker 1: and so sometimes, as you would say, you need a 1577 01:24:13,880 --> 01:24:15,760 Speaker 1: goon and we need a couple of really just good 1578 01:24:15,760 --> 01:24:18,720 Speaker 1: goons on both on basketball and football, Mick has been 1579 01:24:18,760 --> 01:24:22,080 Speaker 1: able to try to implement that. I'm not a fan 1580 01:24:22,120 --> 01:24:23,639 Speaker 1: of Shier. I just not a fan of Chip Kelly. 1581 01:24:23,680 --> 01:24:25,640 Speaker 1: I worked with him a few times. I don't believe him. 1582 01:24:25,680 --> 01:24:27,960 Speaker 1: I don't even know if he believes himself and he 1583 01:24:28,040 --> 01:24:32,240 Speaker 1: is one hundred percent. He is one hundred percent affected 1584 01:24:33,880 --> 01:24:36,680 Speaker 1: by Hollywood. Well you watch some of these coaches that 1585 01:24:36,720 --> 01:24:38,760 Speaker 1: come here. They are affected. They get here and they 1586 01:24:38,800 --> 01:24:45,400 Speaker 1: get lost and they want to be famous. Right, I 1587 01:24:45,439 --> 01:24:53,200 Speaker 1: can't say that. Were you there? Did you go? Rachel? 1588 01:24:53,280 --> 01:24:56,479 Speaker 1: Was there? Me? Rachel Kalika and Brian we went. I 1589 01:24:56,600 --> 01:25:02,160 Speaker 1: was there over us, like very they looked. I look, 1590 01:25:03,280 --> 01:25:05,440 Speaker 1: you were like, they gonna take it all. He was ready. 1591 01:25:05,880 --> 01:25:10,320 Speaker 1: I wanted them too, because I wanted to believe. Season Yeah, 1592 01:25:10,360 --> 01:25:12,680 Speaker 1: well I wanted us to believe. But so look, I 1593 01:25:13,479 --> 01:25:15,640 Speaker 1: thought it was very interesting when they hired him. So 1594 01:25:15,680 --> 01:25:18,400 Speaker 1: I always talked to UCLA people about UCLA sports because 1595 01:25:18,439 --> 01:25:24,000 Speaker 1: I don't understand. I like UCLA obviously dominating basketball, and 1596 01:25:24,240 --> 01:25:27,360 Speaker 1: it really really in many sports, right, they went off 1597 01:25:27,400 --> 01:25:31,559 Speaker 1: in many sports, in many sports, Yes, in many sports. 1598 01:25:31,880 --> 01:25:36,320 Speaker 1: I think I do believe that it's hard to obviously 1599 01:25:36,360 --> 01:25:38,320 Speaker 1: live up to the Wizard. So makes good. He's no 1600 01:25:38,320 --> 01:25:40,479 Speaker 1: one's ever gonna be John Wooden, and the and and 1601 01:25:40,760 --> 01:25:42,479 Speaker 1: in the script is get here and win. We're gonna 1602 01:25:42,479 --> 01:25:43,680 Speaker 1: give you a couple of years, but get here and 1603 01:25:43,680 --> 01:25:45,439 Speaker 1: wear it. You can't just make it to the final four. 1604 01:25:45,920 --> 01:25:48,360 Speaker 1: That's fine, keep joining it, make it to the championship, great, 1605 01:25:48,360 --> 01:25:50,640 Speaker 1: but did you win? And obviously the last time they 1606 01:25:50,640 --> 01:25:54,200 Speaker 1: had a chip was ninety three, ninety four, ninety four 1607 01:25:54,560 --> 01:25:59,880 Speaker 1: with tyas Edney. Remember Cameron Dollar, Tis edny an band, Charlie. 1608 01:26:01,840 --> 01:26:08,200 Speaker 1: Where's Toby Toby Bailey's an agent now, but you yeah, 1609 01:26:08,240 --> 01:26:11,639 Speaker 1: he's a sports agent. But I I my school. It's different, 1610 01:26:11,680 --> 01:26:13,320 Speaker 1: and I and I respect, but it's a lot of money, 1611 01:26:13,360 --> 01:26:14,920 Speaker 1: and it's a lot and it's a lot of politics. 1612 01:26:15,000 --> 01:26:16,640 Speaker 1: You talk about a school like that, it's a lot 1613 01:26:16,680 --> 01:26:18,519 Speaker 1: of politics, and you know that. But it would be 1614 01:26:18,640 --> 01:26:21,320 Speaker 1: nice if they spent some major bread on somebody who 1615 01:26:21,360 --> 01:26:24,360 Speaker 1: recruited a bunch of like, we need a few goons, 1616 01:26:24,400 --> 01:26:27,479 Speaker 1: we just need, if not a handful, I think the 1617 01:26:28,040 --> 01:26:30,680 Speaker 1: we don't need the you know all the popular stars 1618 01:26:30,720 --> 01:26:34,280 Speaker 1: sons playing there. You know. Oh you also know who's 1619 01:26:34,280 --> 01:26:36,360 Speaker 1: on that championship team and that you just mentioned in 1620 01:26:36,439 --> 01:26:38,840 Speaker 1: ninety four Bob Myers, who is now the GM and 1621 01:26:38,880 --> 01:26:42,800 Speaker 1: president of the Golden State Warrior. He never played. He 1622 01:26:42,920 --> 01:26:45,599 Speaker 1: never played, not well, he got in like trash minutes. 1623 01:26:45,640 --> 01:26:48,280 Speaker 1: Obviously he played trash minutes. But look at that. His 1624 01:26:48,520 --> 01:26:51,800 Speaker 1: career is arguably more successful than one Toby Bailey's or 1625 01:26:52,160 --> 01:26:54,479 Speaker 1: Chris Johnson, like I go down the list. Can you 1626 01:26:54,560 --> 01:26:57,719 Speaker 1: believe that in that crazy isn't believe that I always 1627 01:26:57,720 --> 01:26:59,760 Speaker 1: looked at him like he was he was really in 1628 01:27:00,040 --> 01:27:05,879 Speaker 1: shape for like a gem dude, but like and super Talla. Okay, 1629 01:27:06,080 --> 01:27:10,400 Speaker 1: I just want to get it's interesting, Okay, So I 1630 01:27:10,439 --> 01:27:12,439 Speaker 1: adore you. Thank you for giving me more time than 1631 01:27:12,479 --> 01:27:14,320 Speaker 1: you should have. You guys, gone and get this book. 1632 01:27:14,400 --> 01:27:16,760 Speaker 1: I really I I And I'm not just saying that. 1633 01:27:16,800 --> 01:27:19,760 Speaker 1: I'm fascinated with your intellect and I love your perspective 1634 01:27:19,920 --> 01:27:22,800 Speaker 1: that crazy entire Van late than in the house, not 1635 01:27:22,840 --> 01:27:26,000 Speaker 1: to be confused with the other dude. Thank you so much. 1636 01:27:27,680 --> 01:27:30,639 Speaker 1: So um, I hope you all enjoyed Van He I mean, 1637 01:27:30,680 --> 01:27:33,479 Speaker 1: he really it's interesting. I have a lot of people 1638 01:27:33,479 --> 01:27:35,800 Speaker 1: in my life that I think that can go to 1639 01:27:35,920 --> 01:27:38,200 Speaker 1: level to level to level. And it's not about who's 1640 01:27:38,200 --> 01:27:40,720 Speaker 1: the smartest person in the room, although sometimes it is, 1641 01:27:41,080 --> 01:27:43,960 Speaker 1: but it is the art of understanding what you're feeling 1642 01:27:43,960 --> 01:27:46,080 Speaker 1: and being able to express your thoughts and opinions and 1643 01:27:46,120 --> 01:27:48,679 Speaker 1: a very well crafted way. And sometimes when you express 1644 01:27:48,720 --> 01:27:52,559 Speaker 1: your thoughts and opinions that offends people. But Van has 1645 01:27:52,560 --> 01:27:57,160 Speaker 1: a way of being not necessarily neutral but not necessarily offensive. 1646 01:27:57,200 --> 01:27:59,519 Speaker 1: It's just the truth. And if you follow him on 1647 01:27:59,520 --> 01:28:01,960 Speaker 1: social I think you do. It's funny. If you read 1648 01:28:02,000 --> 01:28:06,000 Speaker 1: his book, it's funny. You know what Charlemagne told me this. 1649 01:28:06,760 --> 01:28:10,200 Speaker 1: They're really good friends, so it's a propos. He says, 1650 01:28:11,200 --> 01:28:13,320 Speaker 1: one day, we're just laughing about something that was very 1651 01:28:13,360 --> 01:28:16,240 Speaker 1: sad in the culture. He said, Black folks know how 1652 01:28:16,280 --> 01:28:19,120 Speaker 1: to do trauma better than anybody else, meaning we really 1653 01:28:19,160 --> 01:28:21,880 Speaker 1: know how to laugh at our pain. And that is 1654 01:28:21,880 --> 01:28:25,000 Speaker 1: why I think this book is fascinating. And I think 1655 01:28:25,040 --> 01:28:27,880 Speaker 1: that van being very honest about something I don't hear 1656 01:28:27,920 --> 01:28:30,280 Speaker 1: a lot of men being honest about as special, especially 1657 01:28:30,320 --> 01:28:33,800 Speaker 1: black men. Get the book. It's really something that we 1658 01:28:33,840 --> 01:28:35,639 Speaker 1: all should have, that we should be reading as women, 1659 01:28:35,680 --> 01:28:37,040 Speaker 1: that we should be reading as men, and that we 1660 01:28:37,040 --> 01:28:42,040 Speaker 1: should be telling other people about. And at this moment, 1661 01:28:43,200 --> 01:28:47,800 Speaker 1: I'm pretty tired. I've been overseas without my luggage, but 1662 01:28:47,800 --> 01:28:49,720 Speaker 1: I ain't complaining. Don't fool with Air France. Don't fool 1663 01:28:49,760 --> 01:28:52,840 Speaker 1: with Air France. Don't fool with Air France. If you 1664 01:28:52,920 --> 01:28:58,800 Speaker 1: want your luggage, I got mine, though, just the last 1665 01:28:58,880 --> 01:29:04,000 Speaker 1: day of my trip, I'm gonna stop complaining though, Stay positive, Carrie. 1666 01:29:04,800 --> 01:29:13,360 Speaker 1: Talk to you guys next week. Bye. H