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Speaker 1: My guest today is American journalist and television news anchor

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Speaker 1: Chris Cuomo. He has interviewed presidents and world leaders, reported

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Speaker 1: from war zones, covered the nine to eleven terrorist attacks,

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Speaker 1: and shared hundreds of powerful, eye opening stories impacting the

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Speaker 1: lives of everyday Americans, and is currently at NewsNation, also

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Speaker 1: traveling around the country and the world covering world news events.

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Speaker 1: Chris was previously at CNN ABC's twenty twenty Good Morning America,

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Speaker 1: Fox News, and now he's hosting Cuomo at NewsNation. This

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Speaker 1: is just be with Chris Cuomo. Let's get into it,

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Speaker 1: all right. So, Chris, you and I know, I know you.

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Speaker 2: I remember knowing you from years back.

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Speaker 1: I don't think I was as confident as I am

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Speaker 1: now to just start engaging. But back then, I think

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Speaker 1: you were friends with a guy named Franny who dated

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Speaker 1: my friend Michelle.

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Speaker 3: Right, Francis Grecco brand, the handsome man, we.

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Speaker 2: Called him, and you forgot that right.

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Speaker 3: First turned into this great clinical psychologist who's helping all

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Speaker 3: of these vulnerable populations and has a really robust practice.

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Speaker 1: That's so funny that Michelle became a social worker. So

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Speaker 1: they were actually decently matched at the time.

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Speaker 3: Yep.

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Speaker 1: And that's when I met you and you were living

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Speaker 1: in the city. What had just gone to law school?

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Speaker 1: Like just running around live in the city, fun life

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Speaker 1: like we were.

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Speaker 3: Practicing law, practicing.

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Speaker 2: Excess, practicing excess. Where did you grow up in the city.

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Speaker 3: Hollis Queen's And then when I was a teenager, they

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Speaker 3: moved me to Albany when my father became governor, and

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Speaker 3: I went to a military school there.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, right right. I was in Queen's too, I

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Speaker 1: was in Forest Hills. And where did you go to school?

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Speaker 3: I went to a Catholic school, okay.

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Speaker 2: And then what about college? Law school too?

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Speaker 3: For college, I went to Yale and for law school

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Speaker 3: I went to Fordham in New York City.

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Speaker 1: So you were on the path, and what was your goal?

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Speaker 1: Do you always goal oriented? Because coming from a family

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Speaker 1: that's so accomplished, that would be laced with a lot

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Speaker 1: of pressure.

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Speaker 2: I would think to like be on some path, you.

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Speaker 3: Know, the family is very intense, but I wouldn't. I

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Speaker 3: think the idea of being an elite family really kind

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Speaker 3: of myths it a little bit, you know, Except for me,

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Speaker 3: this was a very normal Italian Catholic Queen's family. Even

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Speaker 3: when my father got into politics, which was late in life.

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Speaker 3: I'm much younger than my siblings, my oldest siblings sixteen

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Speaker 3: years apart, so you know, she knew a very different existence.

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Speaker 3: He was a lawyer, then he got involved in suing

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Speaker 3: the city, and then these guys at the Ninth Columpus

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Speaker 3: tried to get him into politics, and he started getting

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Speaker 3: in and just losing and losing and losing because he

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Speaker 3: didn't have any of the tools and the connections. So

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Speaker 3: I had two very different lives. I like to do

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Speaker 3: it as a joke. I say, thirteen years of my

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Speaker 3: life Archie Bunker kind of existence. You know, I knew

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Speaker 3: a lot of people like that. And then the next

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Speaker 3: ten years was Benson Executive Mansion, which was a museum

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Speaker 3: that had tours, and all of a sudden I was somebody,

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Speaker 3: you know, because so I knew what it was like

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Speaker 3: to just be a regular kid, regular person, regular ambitions.

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Speaker 3: I thought celebrities were the people who had made it

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Speaker 3: onto dance Fever from my neighborhood. I still remember their names,

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Speaker 3: Billy Nelly and Christina Trevellino. They were this it was

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Speaker 3: like whoa you met Denny Terrio. And then from that

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Speaker 3: to a parade of the most powerful and famous people

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Speaker 3: in the world because my father was such a magnet.

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Speaker 1: That's a good recipe for politics, though, because you do

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Speaker 1: require a certain amount of polish and a certain amount

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Speaker 1: of grit for I think, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: You don't want to seem too precious and too privileged,

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Speaker 1: but you got it not seem too rough because you're

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Speaker 1: relating to so many different types of people.

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Speaker 2: You don't scare people either.

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Speaker 3: You are correct up until maybe six seven years ago,

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Speaker 3: where now I'm not really sure what the formula is.

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Speaker 3: There's true ession without tiders that what you would call polish.

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Speaker 3: They see as elitist affect. And I think everything's kind

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Speaker 3: of up in the air right now about what matters

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Speaker 3: and what doesn't and having to have a side. Everything

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Speaker 3: is for or against. You know, we're coming up.

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Speaker 1: It is very Yeah, it's it's a zero sum game.

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Speaker 1: It's it's the craziest thing ever. It's it's it's the

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Speaker 1: upside down. But I and I think that there but

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Speaker 1: I think that there is a level now of people

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Speaker 1: just wanting authenticity, no matter what form it is.

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Speaker 2: But they don't really know.

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Speaker 1: You can't really know what authenticity is it's hard to

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Speaker 1: know because someone could just be a great actor.

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Speaker 3: People can fake it till they make it. And also

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Speaker 3: you have all these haters telling you things about people

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Speaker 3: that you assume that what they're talking about, and they're

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Speaker 3: just making it up for advantage. I mean that's really

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Speaker 3: and I've seen this with you in your start them. Also,

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Speaker 3: you know that once you started to be an organic

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Speaker 3: avenue of your own success, people want your success. Uh

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Speaker 3: so they start to say things and create.

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Speaker 4: Narratives and all this, and you've got bred how to

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Speaker 4: navigate what you choose to take on, which the downside

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Speaker 4: on as a as you're as who you are.

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Speaker 3: For people who know you, you would take it on.

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Speaker 3: But now you have people telling you, but Bethany, you're

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Speaker 3: just going to give it energy and you're going to

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Speaker 3: give it attention. Now more they're going to know. And

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Speaker 3: you're like, yeah, but this is true. I didn't do that.

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Speaker 3: I'm not like that. This isn't what it's about. And

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Speaker 3: it's they're just going to write it up, both sides

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Speaker 3: of it, and you're gonna lose and it's not worth.

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Speaker 2: It, and that totally.

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Speaker 1: Maria Striver was on here and she said she had

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Speaker 1: to be of service. That was what was going on

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Speaker 1: in her family like that, that she just had to

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Speaker 1: be of service. And it sounds like that's what must

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Speaker 1: have been going on with you, was that, like you

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Speaker 1: just had to do something.

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Speaker 3: I mean, the Shrivers are an extraordinarily advanced family in

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Speaker 3: terms of you know, you had Sergeant Shriver, you had

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Speaker 3: Eunice Kennedy, obviously Shriver, her brothers. They started so many

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Speaker 3: amazing things. I mean, they're kind of two generations deep

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Speaker 3: across board, whereas we're like two jobs deep.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's still the you know, I'm raising our

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Speaker 1: kids is different than the way we were raised. So

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Speaker 1: you were half privileged, half street now yeah, and now

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Speaker 1: you have kids though that are fully privileged. And it's hard,

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Speaker 1: you know, like I've said before, it's hard to get

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Speaker 1: on the first class and be like, oh you have

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Speaker 1: to walk like it's just not going to be the same.

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Speaker 2: And it's a very hard dance.

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Speaker 3: I'm sure it is. But of course, you know, look,

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Speaker 3: all pain is personal, and people only see what they

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Speaker 3: want to see, and there is a downside to the

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Speaker 3: upside for kids whose parents are somebody. I mean, people

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Speaker 3: see what they want to see. So there is a

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Speaker 3: price that goes along with fame and stardom, and you're

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Speaker 3: not allowed certain things that other people are. But of

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Speaker 3: course then you have benefits. Being in the news business

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Speaker 3: is a little bit of a tweener, you know what

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Speaker 3: I mean. You're not really a celebrity. You don't really

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Speaker 3: have a fan base. You know, it's a little different now.

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Speaker 3: It's changing because people are picking sides and they're becoming

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Speaker 3: commentators and stuff. But still with my kids, you know,

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Speaker 3: they had to deal with some shit that I really

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Speaker 3: wish that they hadn't had to. Yeah, and one of

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Speaker 3: my only regrets. I'm not a regret person. I really

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Speaker 3: don't believe it's a valuable thing. There are plenty of

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Speaker 3: things where I fucked up and I wish I hadn't

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Speaker 3: done that. I wish I hadn't gone that way. I mean,

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Speaker 3: it happens. It happened this morning, but I never knew. See,

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Speaker 3: when you're really focused on something and you know, your

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Speaker 3: aperture gets really tight. So for me, when my brother

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Speaker 3: was in trouble, you know what, you what were you

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Speaker 3: raised about? You're all family all the time. People are

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Speaker 3: gonna come after pop. They're gonna come after what's going on.

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Speaker 3: They're gonna be looking for you know that people are

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Speaker 3: gonna be looking at you. All you got is each other.

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Speaker 3: You're not gonna be like each other all the time,

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Speaker 3: and you're not going to like each other all the time,

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Speaker 3: but you're all you have.

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Speaker 5: When shafick the Kardashians, well, yes, and starting on a

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Speaker 5: contemplated but you know that's how I was raised.

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Speaker 3: So when Andrew was in the suit, obviously I was

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Speaker 3: gonna help him, not that I had to cover for him.

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Speaker 3: This isn't a mafia caper. I didn't do things that

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Speaker 3: were wrong. I didn't work the press. I didn't go

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Speaker 3: after his accusers, and nobody has to believe me. I

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Speaker 3: gave a long interview with the Attorney General. They did

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Speaker 3: their fact finding. They found nothing different than what I'm saying,

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Speaker 3: and the people who are doing that stuff for Andrew

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Speaker 3: in the politics game will now testify that go after you.

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Speaker 3: He was nothing but a pest. You worked the meeting he.

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Speaker 1: Was, yeah, I'm of course I remember it, and we

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Speaker 1: all were sitting home stuck. So it was the worst

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Speaker 1: possible time it could happen, because you had to just

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Speaker 1: live in it. It was like people that got in

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Speaker 1: trouble during the pandemic, really like it was all we

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Speaker 1: could pay attention to, beside slow roasting chicken. And I

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Speaker 1: would say, these people didn't stand by you ultimately, so

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Speaker 1: you stood by your family. I guess you made a

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Speaker 1: good choice. What if you said to you know, fuck

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Speaker 1: you guys, I'm over here at CNN, and then they

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Speaker 1: left you for dead, like your family's not going to

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Speaker 1: leave you for dead, and you feel like you were

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Speaker 1: left by a family at CNN for dead.

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Speaker 3: My family, I don't even know how to conceive of it.

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Speaker 3: You know, I've never had any one of my family

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Speaker 3: not be there before. I asked, right, what I mean

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Speaker 3: because I'm the youngest by so much, even though like

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Speaker 3: I'm old now, fifty three years old, but they see

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Speaker 3: things coming and dynamically you're they're there, like you don't

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Speaker 3: even ask, you know, when people say what was the

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Speaker 3: decision and helping your brother, I was like kind of

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Speaker 3: plum mixed by that. I was like, what process? What decision?

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Speaker 3: What do you mean I got trouble? You know? Right? No?

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Speaker 1: No, no, it was your body and you were just

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Speaker 1: exactly I mean, I get it.

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Speaker 2: There's a show.

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Speaker 1: Oh, the show, the Morning Show? Did you see the

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Speaker 1: Morning show? That that?

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Speaker 2: That's right?

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Speaker 1: And and what's her name? It's Reese Waisman's character, and

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Speaker 1: her brother does something significantly worse. He storms the capitol

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Speaker 1: and she's not telling any she's not telling on him

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Speaker 1: as a journalist. And I was like, and Paul, my fiance,

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Speaker 1: was like her fucking brother. So, I mean, he said

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Speaker 1: it a thousand times to me, and he's, you know,

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Speaker 1: a pretty honorable guy, and he was like, I get it.

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Speaker 1: It's my father, my brother, Like, I get it. So

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Speaker 1: it was a hard situation.

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Speaker 2: By the way, Oh what.

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Speaker 3: I said all along, I never had problems with people.

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Speaker 3: I never had people until it became weaponized politically. I

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Speaker 3: said at the beginning, look, I'm not going to cover

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Speaker 3: my brother's allegations. It doesn't make any sense. You know,

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Speaker 3: I'm by it on them, So I'm just not going

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Speaker 3: to cover it, which everybody got set it on TV.

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Speaker 3: But you know, look, you know there is a price.

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Speaker 3: You know, you sign up for this when you're in

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Speaker 3: the media. There are rules and that doesn't mean that

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Speaker 3: they're righteous rules, but there are rules.

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Speaker 1: And did you know the rules is are the handbook

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Speaker 1: that you know, and that you broke some rules or

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Speaker 1: that you pushed the line, like where is the line?

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Speaker 1: Should you've taken a hiatus, like taken six months off?

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Speaker 2: What would you do differently?

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Speaker 3: I offered to take time off more than once. I

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Speaker 3: offered to leave more than once. They didn't want me

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Speaker 3: to leave. I was the number one guy, right, and

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Speaker 3: you know, everybody was like stop. Everybody gets it. It's

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Speaker 3: your brother and you're not doing it on TV, and

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Speaker 3: you know you're helping him in a private capacity, and

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Speaker 3: people get that this is a one off. There's only

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Speaker 3: one of you and one of him. Isn't something we

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Speaker 3: see all the time, but we get it. And you know,

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Speaker 3: they had changed their own standards. Andrew on TV more

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Speaker 3: during the pandemic because they wanted him on and obviously

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Speaker 3: it was going to be easier for me to get

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Speaker 3: him on TV than you, right. You know what happened

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Speaker 3: was the rule is what goes up comes down, and

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Speaker 3: all that shine on Andrew as the love GOV and

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Speaker 3: all that other bullshit. They hated it in the media

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Speaker 3: because you know, they didn't want to love up my brother.

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Speaker 2: You know, well they know they loved it for a while.

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Speaker 1: When Ellen and Chelsea Handler, and I will be honest

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Speaker 1: with you. I thought he was basking in it a little.

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Speaker 1: I thought it was like a little month. I thought

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Speaker 1: it went too far, like every morning we're having I

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Speaker 1: thought it went too far. That was my honest, like

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Speaker 1: as a civilian's opinion. I was just like, I believe

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Speaker 1: in the wolves at the end of the bed. I

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Speaker 1: believe that when you feel like you're peaking the wave

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Speaker 1: is cresting, figure out what the fuck you're gonna do.

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Speaker 1: It's not trees grow high, they don't grow to the sky.

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Speaker 1: So I was going to ask you, I have this

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Speaker 1: wolves at the end of the bed thing, and do

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Speaker 1: you have that? Because if you were flying at the

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Speaker 1: top and your brother Dan gets in trouble and it doesn't,

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Speaker 1: didn't it feel swollen?

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Speaker 3: Look. I used to talk to my brother on a

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Speaker 3: regular basis, telling him, enjoy it. Now, what goes up

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Speaker 3: comes down. You know they're gonna be coming for you.

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Speaker 3: It's just a question of time. And he wasn't one

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Speaker 3: of their favorites to begin with. I never contemplated it

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Speaker 3: would take the shape that it did. And for your metaphor,

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Speaker 3: I don't think the wolf is at the end of

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Speaker 3: the bed. The wolf is in the bed most of

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Speaker 3: the fight. You know, I wouldn't mind if it was

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Speaker 3: a wolf. You know, the wolf's gonna bite you, and

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Speaker 3: if you do the right things, you're gonna kill it.

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Speaker 3: And in this well, you can't they get to judge,

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Speaker 3: you know, what's right, what's wrong, what to put in whatnot,

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Speaker 3: and they're look. I think the American media is one

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Speaker 3: of the strongest pillars of our democracy, and it's certainly

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Speaker 3: better than anything I've seen anywhere else in the world.

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Speaker 3: But that doesn't mean it's perfect. It doesn't mean that

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Speaker 3: things can't come out wrong. And you know what's the

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Speaker 3: life lesson? The life lesson is forward forward. I cannot

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Speaker 3: change anything. I am such a wet blanket on so

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Speaker 3: much magical thinking. My wife runs a wellness business called Purist,

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Speaker 3: and she's very spiritual and she's very into this, and

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Speaker 3: she believes and energetic qualities of our assistance and all

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Speaker 3: that stuff. And to me, it's like, there's no faith,

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Speaker 3: there's no destiny, there's no luck. What happens in life

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Speaker 3: is probability and chance and what you do with it,

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Speaker 3: agree and you make things happen. It's not going to

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Speaker 3: happen anyway.

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Speaker 2: No, I'm not saying that.

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Speaker 1: I'm saying like, it's twenty twenty three and you're from

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Speaker 1: my generation, and I get more views on my social

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Speaker 1: media and make literally two and a half times the

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Speaker 1: money I made at my highest payday on Housewives. Now

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Speaker 1: I'm ahead of you in defecting from you know, the

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Speaker 1: mainstream television sphere. But I'm saying, when you put the

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Speaker 1: pieces together different way, the puzzle takes really nice shape.

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Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying.

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Speaker 3: But you are different than I am. You are an

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Speaker 3: actual entity and commodity that people identify with certain values,

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Speaker 3: certain likes, certain interests, and certain appeal. And I'm not

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Speaker 3: surprised that you have been very successful, and I actually

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Speaker 3: am not even that imp I don't think that you're

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Speaker 3: anywhere near where you're going to be given what you

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Speaker 3: mean to so many different people in our society. I

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Speaker 3: am different. I am not because I can't be as

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Speaker 3: satisfying to people. I don't have a set value of

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Speaker 3: why do you watch this guy? I'm very frustrating for people,

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Speaker 3: you know, even on things that like, you know, people

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Speaker 3: want to be black and white, which is everything in

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Speaker 3: our society right now. You know, and I get so

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Speaker 3: much with digital media. Everybody threatens to kill you. You now,

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Speaker 3: you know, like death threats, you know, become such a

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Speaker 3: water down commodity. But it's like, stop showing the Palestinian injured.

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Speaker 3: We don't know that the video is real. Okay, stops

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Speaker 3: saying that Israel has an existential threat. Everything's so binary.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and you so first of all, you're so right

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Speaker 1: about it being so black and white. Now more than ever.

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Speaker 1: You can't have a conversation. You can't say I voted

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Speaker 1: for that person. It's your fucking moron because I went

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Speaker 1: to Harvard and you went to whatever. You're an idiot,

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Speaker 1: Like you can't be like, oh, why did you vote

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Speaker 1: for that part? I talk about this to Chris Wallace.

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Speaker 2: You cannot.

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Speaker 1: So people closet vote, they hide, they hide their opinions.

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Speaker 1: You cannot have a different opinion. And it's so much hate.

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Speaker 1: And it's supposed to be the time now where everyone's

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Speaker 1: supposed to be honest and open, and it's scary. So you,

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Speaker 1: as a person who has a party, you're on a side.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure you're flexible in certain matters. I mean, you're

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Speaker 1: of a brain and a mind, and a heart. But

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Speaker 1: how do you stick to your guns? Like in other words,

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Speaker 1: Meghan Kelly's over there sticking her guns, Tucker Cross and

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Speaker 1: sticking to his guns, Cannice Owens.

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Speaker 2: They have big followings and they don't on the right.

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Speaker 3: It's easy. The right is an animal. And as long

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Speaker 3: as you're savaging the left and feeding people's outrage and grievance,

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Speaker 3: we're addicted to grievance. But this job that she's doing now,

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Speaker 3: she's made for Tucker Carlson, all these guys who have

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Speaker 3: an agenda of motivating certain feelings and grievance. You don't

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Speaker 3: have that in the regular world. And like I, not

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Speaker 3: only do I not have a party, I think people

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Speaker 3: should leave the political parties. They are absolutely the root

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Speaker 3: of our problems. You never have them. They're not in

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Speaker 3: the constitution, they're not creatures of law. Even the Supreme

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Speaker 3: Court is said, they're just the function of tradition. They

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Speaker 3: shouldn't control our process and that's the only way we

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Speaker 3: can get back. A plurality of the country says they're independent,

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Speaker 3: they don't want to be in either of the parties.

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Speaker 3: That's our best.

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Speaker 2: So I don't buy this about you.

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Speaker 1: I think you're very very passionate, very smart, you're handsome,

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Speaker 1: you're charming, you're funny. So why so where you've landed

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Speaker 1: now at news Nation? What is this for you?

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Speaker 3: Like?

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Speaker 1: What do you and where do you have to temper

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Speaker 1: the chocolate? You can't fully express your opinion.

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Speaker 3: No, it's not about that. It's that it's just not satisfying.

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Speaker 3: Like if you take an issue, you know, you got

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Speaker 3: to have like this determined side where everybody who doesn't

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Speaker 3: believe what you believe is toxic and that's what sells.

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Speaker 3: That's what people are looking for, this outrage machine. Now

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Speaker 3: will it stay like this? Yeah? Kind of It's always

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Speaker 3: been this way. We just have more magnification of minority

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Speaker 3: voices and opinions through social media than we used to have,

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Speaker 3: and we're gonna have to balance that out with reach

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Speaker 3: versus relevancy and value. You know, the marketplace will find

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Speaker 3: its way. But you know, I'm not saying that I

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Speaker 3: don't know how to communicate. It's that left is mad

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Speaker 3: with me right now. I barely get Democrats on my show.

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Speaker 3: Why well, either they're pissed and Andrew, or they're pissed

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Speaker 3: at me by extension, or they're pissed because I have

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Speaker 3: too many people who are on the right on and

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Speaker 3: I don't believe. And I keep saying that the parties suck,

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Speaker 3: and they're like, yeah, okay, the parties are imperfect, but

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Speaker 3: this is our system and the right is so much worse. Chris,

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Speaker 3: that you're creating a false equivalency.

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Speaker 1: Why don't you just get a little unhinged like this,

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Speaker 1: Like just be not so polished, not so perfect, not

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Speaker 1: so organized. It just be a little off the fucking grid,

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Speaker 1: like be a little I've seen, but it's always a

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Speaker 1: little more newsy, more like the traditional newsy, more than this.

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Speaker 2: Well, I would like to see you fully on.

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Speaker 3: I'm not, first of all, I'm not an unhinted person.

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Speaker 3: It doesn't work for me, you know. I people think

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Speaker 3: they're giving me a compliment. They say, man, Bethany, even

384
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Speaker 3: though this isn't your personality, Bethany was I'm coming at

385
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Speaker 3: you man, And you just was sitting there looking you

386
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Speaker 3: almost had like a little bit of a smile on

387
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Speaker 3: your face. How do you do that? It's very simple. One.

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Speaker 3: When you've been doing this as long as I have,

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Speaker 3: you understand that someone says the moment that I say oh, Bethany,

390
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Speaker 3: I don't agree with you about which way we're going

391
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Speaker 3: to take this product. You know you're an idiot. I'm

392
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Speaker 3: an idiot as soon as you start talking about you personally, obviously,

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Speaker 3: I don't have the ammunition on the argument anymore. Right,

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Speaker 3: that's one. As a guy who has done nothing but

395
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Speaker 3: study self defense and different fighting techniques for so many years,

396
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Speaker 3: I don't take talk as the kind of provocation that

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Speaker 3: most people do. When someone starts insulting me. In my mindset,

398
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Speaker 3: how I am as a person, like my personality is

399
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Speaker 3: as long as we're talking, there's no there's no threat here.

400
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Speaker 3: You say whatever you want to say about me. I

401
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,960
Speaker 3: return the fire. But it's not because I'm some nice guy.

402
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:25,000
Speaker 3: It's that it's that you know, well, if we're going

403
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:27,280
Speaker 3: to have a real problem, then you're not gonna talk.

404
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:29,720
Speaker 3: You're gonna try to hurt me. Not you as a woman,

405
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Speaker 3: because no, no, no, I know. But when a guy

406
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:36,960
Speaker 3: is saying mean things, say your mean things. We're still talking.

407
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:39,720
Speaker 3: Keep talking. I think it makes you look bad, But

408
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Speaker 3: say whatever you want to say. Now, threaten my kids,

409
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Speaker 3: put your hand on me. We have a very situation

410
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Speaker 3: and I'm in the I'm in the hurt business. Once

411
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Speaker 3: we do that, and that makes you very uncivilized. And

412
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Speaker 3: I'm going to get in trouble. And I've gotten in

413
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Speaker 3: trouble in the past, and I get it. But I'm

414
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Speaker 3: not asking for people's vote, and I'm not a leader.

415
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Speaker 3: But it's very easy easy for me to say civilized

416
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Speaker 3: people are coming on to attack a position that I

417
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Speaker 3: don't even hold.

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Speaker 1: Well, do you sometimes enjoy? I mean, first of all,

419
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Speaker 1: you're unflappable, is what you're describing. But when when someone

420
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Speaker 1: says to me, I was just talking about this yesterday,

421
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Speaker 1: someone on TikTok, it could be anything or Instagram or somewhere.

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Speaker 2: Oh she wow, she.

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Speaker 1: Looks old, I'm like, I am old, Like I don't

424
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Speaker 1: mind an insult, like I kind of absorb it and

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Speaker 1: turn it into I'll turn chicken shit into chicken salad

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Speaker 1: every day. I will, and I'll slap back, not in

427
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Speaker 1: a way where I'm fighting with someone in like Twitter

428
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Speaker 1: or something, but where I'll just disarm I beg someone

429
00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:38,200
Speaker 1: who cares. They'll say, I, like, I think you care

430
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,280
Speaker 1: because you're here, Like you could go somewhere else, Like

431
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:42,480
Speaker 1: I kind of I don't want to say I enjoy it,

432
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:44,439
Speaker 1: but it means there's a pulse out there, if that

433
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:46,919
Speaker 1: makes any sense. Like I'm like, okay, I'm getting you.

434
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:49,040
Speaker 1: You're alive out there, all right. We're not agreeing with

435
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:50,560
Speaker 1: everything I say, but okay.

436
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:55,960
Speaker 3: You're not a you know, you're not someone who's gonna

437
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:59,840
Speaker 3: let somebody get away with things either. But there is

438
00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:03,199
Speaker 3: a comfort when someone's saying you don't look good. You

439
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:06,480
Speaker 3: do look good, and you know you have confidence in that.

440
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:10,160
Speaker 3: So it's one thing. What happens to me is it's

441
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:16,960
Speaker 3: not you don't look good. It's more that I am

442
00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 3: being placed as part of a problem in society, anti American,

443
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:25,880
Speaker 3: anti this, anti that, part of this deep state, all

444
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:29,760
Speaker 3: this shit that is very hard to dispel. I mean,

445
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:34,400
Speaker 3: the prayer with this place, with News Nation is that

446
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:37,560
Speaker 3: they really seem to this point to be on the

447
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:42,439
Speaker 3: same page with Listen, I'm talking to regular people in

448
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:46,440
Speaker 3: a regular way. You want to talk words and concepts

449
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,959
Speaker 3: and history whatever. It's all I am as a student

450
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:52,560
Speaker 3: of this. I study everything all the time. This is

451
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:56,080
Speaker 3: my hobby, it's my vocation and my advocation. But that's

452
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:57,040
Speaker 3: not what I do on the show.

453
00:24:57,440 --> 00:25:03,920
Speaker 1: Are you defined more by being pigeonholed into Democratic principles,

454
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:07,800
Speaker 1: or by your brothers by protecting your brother, covering for

455
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:08,280
Speaker 1: your brother.

456
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:09,600
Speaker 2: What's defining you?

457
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:13,879
Speaker 1: What do people in your community think, what a former

458
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:16,480
Speaker 1: colleagues think. You see somebody in the city at a restaurant,

459
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:17,200
Speaker 1: what do people think.

460
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:21,120
Speaker 3: My community where we live out in East Hampton, which

461
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:25,200
Speaker 3: is actually a pretty trumpy place, has been so good

462
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:27,760
Speaker 3: to me when they when I was really in the

463
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:30,840
Speaker 3: barrel and the paparazzi were coming after me and everybody's

464
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:34,600
Speaker 3: they were very protective, even guys who don't like you know,

465
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:37,800
Speaker 3: once they know me, they understand that I don't have politics.

466
00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:42,320
Speaker 3: I really don't. I mean people, do I back Democrats

467
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:45,000
Speaker 3: absolutely if they name Cuomo, you know what I mean.

468
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:48,239
Speaker 3: If my brother's running for he's the guy I think

469
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:51,080
Speaker 3: you should vote for him. Why my brother, that's why,

470
00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:53,440
Speaker 3: and I love him and I believe he's the best.

471
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:58,159
Speaker 3: But other Democrats. No, the party doesn't resemble anything like

472
00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:03,920
Speaker 3: what my father's party was. And do I vote Democrat? Yeah, occasionally.

473
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:06,919
Speaker 3: I'm not registered this one unless Andrew's running, you know.

474
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,480
Speaker 1: And then people more mad at you for being for

475
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:12,080
Speaker 1: thinking that you're a Democrat or for thinking that you're

476
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:12,960
Speaker 1: a Cuomo.

477
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:22,240
Speaker 3: Anti Trump, deep state, mainstream media whatever that means, Andrew

478
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:25,919
Speaker 3: is like at the bottom except for the media. For

479
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:27,840
Speaker 3: the media all.

480
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:30,360
Speaker 1: About that because they need a reason, they need to

481
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:32,359
Speaker 1: put it put, They need to skate something to put.

482
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:35,320
Speaker 3: On the rule and what The only thing that bothers

483
00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:38,000
Speaker 3: me about it is and again, because you know, you

484
00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:41,640
Speaker 3: can't fix things. You can only fix forward. You can't

485
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:44,560
Speaker 3: fix in the past. Time doesn't work like that. But

486
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:48,919
Speaker 3: the idea one. It pisses me off that all these

487
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 3: people in the media tell me what happened with me

488
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,200
Speaker 3: and my job was wrong. Oh now you want to

489
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:55,800
Speaker 3: say that, But that bothers me a little bit, but

490
00:26:55,840 --> 00:27:00,199
Speaker 3: I get it. That's how people become conciliatory. The other

491
00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:03,719
Speaker 3: thing that bothers me is so you don't think that

492
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 3: people in the media talk to and advised politicians. That's

493
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:12,440
Speaker 3: that's what you want people to believe that you, oh

494
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:16,040
Speaker 3: my god, never called up or had a relationship with

495
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:21,120
Speaker 3: a politician where you gave them advice. Wo when're in trouble,

496
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:24,199
Speaker 3: You've never said to a politician, oh man, this is

497
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:28,080
Speaker 3: playing bad. You better watch. You don't think there are

498
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:29,240
Speaker 3: reporters who came.

499
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:29,760
Speaker 2: It's funny.

500
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:31,639
Speaker 1: It's the one what comes to mind to me is

501
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:33,879
Speaker 1: like a Hannity or O'Reilly, Like that's who I think of,

502
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:34,639
Speaker 1: like calling up.

503
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:38,719
Speaker 3: They're not journalists. I'm talking about the same guys and

504
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:43,000
Speaker 3: women who have the high ground okay, you know, like

505
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:45,360
Speaker 3: they're not on the phone if they can get access.

506
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:47,639
Speaker 3: And and the politicians I grew up in this be

507
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:51,440
Speaker 3: like I watched this happen with and where they would

508
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:57,040
Speaker 3: talk to legendary journalists Residentacalarry Jack Newfield, I mean like

509
00:27:57,080 --> 00:28:00,479
Speaker 3: the real guys and they'd marry him a rory and

510
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:03,639
Speaker 3: where they'd be like, so why don't you like this position?

511
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:05,560
Speaker 3: What's your problem with that? And they'd be like, well,

512
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:08,240
Speaker 3: here's a problem with this is the crime rate is

513
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:10,239
Speaker 3: up here and the people sixty two percent said they

514
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:12,199
Speaker 3: want the death penalty, and you keep yelling about no

515
00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:16,040
Speaker 3: death penalty means going to beat you. Is that journalism?

516
00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:16,960
Speaker 2: Wow?

517
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:20,600
Speaker 3: Or other advice about his position on the death penalty.

518
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:22,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't think about how you grew up and like,

519
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:25,480
Speaker 1: you know, that's so crazy. That's I didn't think about

520
00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:27,320
Speaker 1: what you don't do that.

521
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:30,639
Speaker 3: Kind of thing. That's the monstrably false. So there's a

522
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:33,439
Speaker 3: little bit of a hypocrisy. But look, I really I

523
00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:35,919
Speaker 3: talk about it because it's over And.

524
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:37,320
Speaker 2: Are you writing a book on this whole?

525
00:28:37,359 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 1: Like you need to write a book called not politically Speaking,

526
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 1: because you're talking about a lot about it not being political.

527
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:45,040
Speaker 1: I think you should be like, are you writing a

528
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:47,720
Speaker 1: book on this anymore?

529
00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:49,719
Speaker 3: When you look at what's happening and what people are

530
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:54,120
Speaker 3: fighting about at the highest levels, the highest levels. We

531
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:56,280
Speaker 3: just had a US senator decide he's not going to

532
00:28:56,360 --> 00:29:00,040
Speaker 3: run and he can't even decide if he wants to

533
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:02,600
Speaker 3: run for president. Why because you don't know where the

534
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 3: safe space is. And you know, mister Rogers taught us

535
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 3: when we were growing up, look for the helpful people.

536
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:13,440
Speaker 3: Who are fucking helpful people. Everybody's gonna hurt, seems these days.

537
00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:15,280
Speaker 3: One minute that your friend, the next minute they're coming

538
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:18,160
Speaker 3: after you. And I get it. And that's why I

539
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:24,520
Speaker 3: believe that the remedy is regularity. Just think about the

540
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 3: rest of your life. Because I just came to my

541
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:31,400
Speaker 3: parent teacher conferences, Christina stayed behind. That's real life. Sitting down.

542
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:33,680
Speaker 3: Wait what a minute, wait what he didn't turn in?

543
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:37,240
Speaker 1: What I saw this right, you're saying, we spent all

544
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:40,880
Speaker 1: this time obsessing over things that don't come into play

545
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:42,320
Speaker 1: in our lives most of the time.

546
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:44,440
Speaker 2: Yeah what what? Now?

547
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:47,200
Speaker 1: What does your wife think about all this? You guys

548
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:49,360
Speaker 1: must have been through a roller coaster. You definitely have

549
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:53,360
Speaker 1: been through a crazy time. Your wife, dynamic your family?

550
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:54,800
Speaker 1: Does your brother feel guilty?

551
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 2: Like?

552
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:57,520
Speaker 1: What's the dynamics swirling with everybody? There's gotta be some

553
00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:00,720
Speaker 1: resentment or some odjita with everybody?

554
00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:06,240
Speaker 3: There was, you know, twenty plus years of marriage, three kids,

555
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:09,400
Speaker 3: thirteen to twenty. There's plenty of them in and odgy to

556
00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:18,120
Speaker 3: go around at. Look, there is no question. And I

557
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:23,760
Speaker 3: am trying, you know, to find ways to make this

558
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:28,360
Speaker 3: something other than just what it is. But this is natural.

559
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:32,520
Speaker 3: They got an unnatural life and I made it worse.

560
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 3: Why because I dragged them into something that I wasn't

561
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:43,800
Speaker 3: even aware. I did not see this storm coming. I

562
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:45,680
Speaker 3: knew Andrew had trouble as soon as there was a

563
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:49,240
Speaker 3: handful of allegations in the Democratic Party. Allegations are enough.

564
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:50,720
Speaker 3: I knew he had trouble.

565
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:53,880
Speaker 1: I was telling you're saying you dragged your family, But

566
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:55,840
Speaker 1: does he feel he dragged you? And your family.

567
00:30:56,360 --> 00:31:01,880
Speaker 3: Okay, Andrew feels tremendous skill little brother. All he wants

568
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:03,880
Speaker 3: is good things for me. He taught me how to

569
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:05,680
Speaker 3: ride a bike. He taught me how to play football.

570
00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:08,480
Speaker 3: You know, my father was taking care of you guys.

571
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:10,920
Speaker 3: You know, he was in service pretty much my whole life,

572
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:14,000
Speaker 3: and he was obsessed with that. As you know, first

573
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,760
Speaker 3: generation born in this country. He believed that he owed

574
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:19,360
Speaker 3: it to America to do whatever he could, especially in

575
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:22,960
Speaker 3: New York. Andrew taught me everything. All of my interests

576
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:24,960
Speaker 3: in hobbies I learned from my brother.

577
00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:25,680
Speaker 6: Wow.

578
00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:30,840
Speaker 3: Oh, I take care of old cars. Andrew's a master mechanic.

579
00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:34,200
Speaker 3: I fish. I'm much better at it than Andrew, but

580
00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:36,920
Speaker 3: I whatever I do. All the fighting, Andrew was an

581
00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:39,840
Speaker 3: amazing fighter. He's a great boxer. I don't box, but

582
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:42,600
Speaker 3: I mean, you know, so the idea that i'd be

583
00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:45,040
Speaker 3: there for him, he'd be there for me, I've never

584
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:47,680
Speaker 3: considered any other option. Doesn't mean we get along all

585
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:50,200
Speaker 3: the time. Doesn't mean that he doesn't want to crack

586
00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:51,800
Speaker 3: my head like an egg every once in a while.

587
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:55,120
Speaker 3: But you know he does. He feel guilty about it. Sure,

588
00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:58,280
Speaker 3: one hundred levels. He had the mandate of the people

589
00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:00,280
Speaker 3: of New York to do a job that he had

590
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:05,120
Speaker 3: to leave because of this, and it haunts him, and

591
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:08,120
Speaker 3: it haunts him that everybody had to deal with it,

592
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:12,640
Speaker 3: including my wife and kids and his kids, young empowered women.

593
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:18,240
Speaker 3: This was tough, and you know, you can't pretend it

594
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:23,120
Speaker 3: to happen. You can't try to make it something that

595
00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:25,160
Speaker 3: it wasn't. You've got to see it for what it was.

596
00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:28,520
Speaker 3: And the most important part of what it was is

597
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:31,760
Speaker 3: in the past. Is there a lesson for next time?

598
00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:35,040
Speaker 3: Not really, because when's the next time that my person

599
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 3: and I'm getting to this catacausm where I got to

600
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:39,600
Speaker 3: make a decision about whether or not to watch and

601
00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:43,360
Speaker 3: burn or what you know. So that's not so helpful,

602
00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:45,960
Speaker 3: that's not so instructive. I do take a lot of solace,

603
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:48,320
Speaker 3: as most of us should, if we're if we work

604
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 3: on ourselves, if we have that insecurity to drive us

605
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:53,640
Speaker 3: through that, which I certainly do where I'm like, oh shit,

606
00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:55,920
Speaker 3: I shouldn't do that again. You know. Let me try

607
00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:58,640
Speaker 3: this a different way. Let me try to work on this.

608
00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:00,800
Speaker 3: Let me try to work on this in therapy. Let

609
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:03,600
Speaker 3: me try to work on this. Uh with a life coach.

610
00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:07,840
Speaker 1: Working on yourself right, you stick stick of like workshopping

611
00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:10,080
Speaker 1: the spirituality and bs of it. You just want to

612
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:11,480
Speaker 1: like this is now, what are we doing?

613
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:17,000
Speaker 3: The spirituality is not so much my thing. Philosophy is

614
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 3: my thing. I'm fine with spirituality. Just let me see

615
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:23,240
Speaker 3: how you use it, don't put it on me. I

616
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:25,440
Speaker 3: don't want conversations about why you're so right about what

617
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:29,160
Speaker 3: you believe. So I work on myself all the time.

618
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:34,520
Speaker 3: Why we'll plenty to do, That's why. And I am

619
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:41,880
Speaker 3: racked with uh, negative emotions about the whole situation. I mean,

620
00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 3: I lost a tremendous amount.

621
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:46,320
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, you're raw.

622
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:54,960
Speaker 3: Not raw. I'm just realistic, you know. And I'm flawed

623
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 3: and I don't believe in fair. My therapist says it's

624
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:02,479
Speaker 3: the only four letter word. Look. Ultimately, everybody figures out

625
00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:04,640
Speaker 3: what their strengths are. I have two real strengths. Okay,

626
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:08,560
Speaker 3: one's personal, one's professional. My personal strength is I have

627
00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:14,200
Speaker 3: an amazing ability, a gift to draw better people than

628
00:34:14,239 --> 00:34:18,160
Speaker 3: I am to me, my friends and the people in

629
00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:20,280
Speaker 3: my life. Like last night, I just did a talk

630
00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:23,600
Speaker 3: with Chuck d from public enemies and friends of mine

631
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:26,279
Speaker 3: for a long time, I have all these mentors in

632
00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:28,279
Speaker 3: my life who are like just a little ahead of

633
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:31,319
Speaker 3: me in life, some of them behind. On the on

634
00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:33,000
Speaker 3: the fight side, a lot of the guys are younger,

635
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:36,000
Speaker 3: even though my main coach is in the sixties, and

636
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:39,279
Speaker 3: they're better than me at whatever it is that connects us.

637
00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:44,080
Speaker 3: They're better and they be better. They're better fathers, they're

638
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:47,160
Speaker 3: better husbands, they're better fighters, they're you know, they're they're

639
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:53,920
Speaker 3: better at these things. And professionally, my ability is to interpret.

640
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:56,239
Speaker 3: I don't come up with the idea. I don't come

641
00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:59,879
Speaker 3: up with the position. I have an ability, I think

642
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:05,920
Speaker 3: through training, disposition, and experience where I can take things

643
00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:09,320
Speaker 3: that you say about whatever it is that you're relevant

644
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:12,000
Speaker 3: on in that moment and then say to people who

645
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:15,080
Speaker 3: don't know what the way you do. Look, here's what

646
00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:19,120
Speaker 3: she meant, okay, or here's why this matters and this

647
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:21,680
Speaker 3: is not what you're being told, or you need to

648
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:22,799
Speaker 3: listen to this part more.

649
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:25,279
Speaker 2: That's what I'm able to do, crystallizing it.

650
00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:28,719
Speaker 3: And I think that there is a need for that

651
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:33,200
Speaker 3: right now, not Herey Biden shouldn't be president. There's plenty

652
00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:36,520
Speaker 3: of people to do that, plenty of people. For me,

653
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:41,279
Speaker 3: it's what do you need? What do you need? What

654
00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:47,720
Speaker 3: matters to you? You know, the reason you have shitty

655
00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:52,040
Speaker 3: candidates is because you have a shitty process that one

656
00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:56,840
Speaker 3: squeezes people in these very narrow lanes to get to power,

657
00:35:57,480 --> 00:36:00,880
Speaker 3: and nobody wants to get it best and he doesn't

658
00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:03,880
Speaker 3: want to run for office and have people dig into it.

659
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:08,160
Speaker 1: That's an interesting concept too. Right when we were kids,

660
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:10,400
Speaker 1: it was like you could be president in it. I

661
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:12,919
Speaker 1: actually think because of all the relief work, everyone's always

662
00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:15,439
Speaker 1: like run for president. I'm like, what, I don't even

663
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:18,719
Speaker 1: want to like work with the government on relief work.

664
00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:20,759
Speaker 1: I don't want to have to answer to anybody and

665
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:21,879
Speaker 1: be part of any of that.

666
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:25,319
Speaker 2: That sounds like a disaster. I can't imagine wanting that job.

667
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:29,280
Speaker 3: Eve. It's the salvation too, because we've become too top

668
00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:32,920
Speaker 3: heavy and in our local Community's another thing that regular

669
00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:36,120
Speaker 3: people know. Okay, So like Christina, because you know, Christina

670
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:38,600
Speaker 3: is the virtue one, Like you know, I hate to

671
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:41,160
Speaker 3: do stereotypes, but we have them for a reason, right,

672
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:45,279
Speaker 3: Christina is the melding of this and this, you know

673
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:49,720
Speaker 3: what I mean, and all this, you know, everything's.

674
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:52,000
Speaker 2: A nail to me and I was listening.

675
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:54,480
Speaker 1: He did heart and head and then she's he's I'm sorry,

676
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:56,880
Speaker 1: she's the heart and the head and he's the fist.

677
00:36:57,400 --> 00:37:02,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you know, intellectual, I know a lot, but

678
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:06,960
Speaker 3: in terms of behavior, dynamics and relationships, I'm the warrior,

679
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:08,239
Speaker 3: I'm the protector.

680
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:11,840
Speaker 2: And what does that make you? Are you emotionally intelligent?

681
00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:15,680
Speaker 3: I am. I work on it all the time. I

682
00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:18,919
Speaker 3: have some gifts. I was raised by women. I have three,

683
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:22,200
Speaker 3: six older than me, and of course my mother who's

684
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:26,120
Speaker 3: still with us, And I lived with my grandparents for years,

685
00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:32,560
Speaker 3: and my grandfather was senile, so my grandmother was really

686
00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:35,479
Speaker 3: you know. I used to have to follow my grandfather around.

687
00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:41,520
Speaker 3: He like walk away and beautiful men grosser and so

688
00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:46,360
Speaker 3: I had a lot of alpha women strong and that

689
00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:48,120
Speaker 3: wasn't a thing then. It was just like the way

690
00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:49,040
Speaker 3: you were supposed to be.

691
00:37:49,280 --> 00:38:01,600
Speaker 6: Yeah.

692
00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:04,080
Speaker 1: I want to talk about Christina though, like, what how

693
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:06,920
Speaker 1: do you have a twenty year marriage? I don't know

694
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:09,640
Speaker 1: if it's thriving. I know it's surviving because I mean,

695
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:11,400
Speaker 1: you got through what you got through and you're together.

696
00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:14,520
Speaker 1: But I've only the longest relationship I've ever been in

697
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 1: is five years. I know, that I say that like embarrassed,

698
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:20,960
Speaker 1: you know, like I like, like, I've never said that

699
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:23,600
Speaker 1: to anybody before out loud, because I don't, you know,

700
00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:25,160
Speaker 1: want people to realize it's true.

701
00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:26,160
Speaker 2: But it's true.

702
00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:31,799
Speaker 1: And so I always am. I always struggle between the

703
00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:34,480
Speaker 1: fairy tale and the reality and the struggle and the

704
00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:36,759
Speaker 1: thriving and the surviving and a relationship when I look

705
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:40,480
Speaker 1: at other people's relationships, because I know people have problems

706
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:42,439
Speaker 1: and struggle and I kind of want to hear about

707
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:43,520
Speaker 1: your relationship a little bit.

708
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:52,040
Speaker 3: Any any adult knows that one a relationship is work

709
00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:54,200
Speaker 3: more than it is anything else. You can embody it

710
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:58,239
Speaker 3: in an emotional principle like love, but what what is?

711
00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:03,839
Speaker 3: What is love? Love? In this context is somebody else's

712
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:06,279
Speaker 3: needs and wants matter as much to you as your own.

713
00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:09,440
Speaker 3: It's too easy today. I'd take a bullet for you. Yeah, yeah,

714
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 3: I know. Would you give me the last an espresso pod? Yes?

715
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:22,280
Speaker 3: So that you know it's about the context and people pose, okay,

716
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,440
Speaker 3: they want you to think good things about them. You

717
00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:30,520
Speaker 3: wander about your marriage about this, and you know, when

718
00:39:30,520 --> 00:39:33,600
Speaker 3: you're examined as much as we are, you wind up

719
00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:35,480
Speaker 3: a lot of letting a lot of that shit go.

720
00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:40,600
Speaker 3: You know, well, why are you still married? Well, because

721
00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:46,520
Speaker 3: that's the sum total of our existence. What does that mean? Well,

722
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:48,200
Speaker 3: that's what we see in our families. You know, there

723
00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:50,279
Speaker 3: have been some marriages that haven't worked. It's nothing wrong

724
00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:55,960
Speaker 3: with that. Marriages isn't a natural condition. This is construct

725
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:58,760
Speaker 3: that was developed for good and bad reasons over different

726
00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:06,279
Speaker 3: cultural aeriots. But the kids matter more, you know, and

727
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:10,200
Speaker 3: they need us, and there's that, Uh, it's hard. There's

728
00:40:10,239 --> 00:40:14,239
Speaker 3: an acceptance of hard much more on her part. It

729
00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:17,520
Speaker 3: is work and the upside of.

730
00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:19,000
Speaker 1: Well, then she has to accept that it's going to

731
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:20,480
Speaker 1: be hard because you were saying that it's hard to

732
00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:22,640
Speaker 1: be in a relationship with you or your life that

733
00:40:22,680 --> 00:40:23,440
Speaker 1: you chose for you.

734
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:26,279
Speaker 3: To harder to be in a relationship with me than

735
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:27,719
Speaker 3: it is to be in a relationship with her.

736
00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:32,160
Speaker 2: That's no, that's exactly my situation. I'm you.

737
00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:35,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, shocking, but yeah, i'm you.

738
00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:38,040
Speaker 3: You are not me. Do you understand, Like.

739
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:42,320
Speaker 1: No, in the dynamic, I'm you, it's not at dragon,

740
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:45,560
Speaker 1: you know, I'm like having a believe in Dragon. I'm

741
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:51,600
Speaker 1: like i am I'm like having a pet porcupine. Okay,

742
00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:55,520
Speaker 1: because anything that's I don't want anyone to ever like

743
00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:58,439
Speaker 1: tell me what to do, put me in like I

744
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:00,920
Speaker 1: has to. I just you could say to me, we're

745
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:03,920
Speaker 1: having turkey for lunch, and I'm like why, Like, I

746
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:06,400
Speaker 1: just don't. I like to be free as a person.

747
00:41:06,640 --> 00:41:10,840
Speaker 1: Like so it's funny. I'm very prickly about just nothing.

748
00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:13,760
Speaker 1: I only sweat small stuff. The big stuff is no problem.

749
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:15,279
Speaker 1: I don't care about any of the big stuff. It's

750
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:18,200
Speaker 1: the tiny stuff that really I'm problematic about.

751
00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 3: Relationships. It's also about like, you know, look, there is

752
00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:27,319
Speaker 3: no one size fits all. I love reading books on

753
00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:35,080
Speaker 3: relationships because it's so it's such an exaggerated idea that

754
00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:41,080
Speaker 3: there's something that works for everybody. It's like that, and

755
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:45,439
Speaker 3: every situation is different. And well, this marriage works because

756
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:47,600
Speaker 3: they don't live in the same state. And this marriage

757
00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:50,600
Speaker 3: works because this is all the people in there chosen

758
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:53,759
Speaker 3: ethnicity or this is all they do is this. And

759
00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:57,359
Speaker 3: this works because there's a codependency, you know. And this

760
00:41:57,480 --> 00:42:00,400
Speaker 3: works because they just are both into the same thing.

761
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:02,280
Speaker 3: They're obsessed. Yeah.

762
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:05,080
Speaker 1: Now, yeah, there's a guy that we buy what we

763
00:42:05,200 --> 00:42:08,520
Speaker 1: bought watches from before, this guy and you know, he's

764
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:10,799
Speaker 1: he's a watch he sells watches, so he's like half

765
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:13,960
Speaker 1: an asshole. But I'll say, gee, I'll say, I'm not

766
00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:16,040
Speaker 1: gonna say his name. He's an asshole. And Paul said

767
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:19,000
Speaker 1: to me, yeah, but he's our asshole. So like sometimes

768
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:21,440
Speaker 1: I look upon, I'm like, you're an asshole, but but

769
00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:22,719
Speaker 1: he's my asshole.

770
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:25,920
Speaker 2: So it's sort of like that, you know what I mean, accommendation.

771
00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:30,600
Speaker 3: Look, here's the problem with the dynamic, and this is

772
00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 3: the struggle, right, is that it's inherently selfish. Love is selfish.

773
00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:40,000
Speaker 3: I tell my daughters all the time, be selfish and

774
00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:43,000
Speaker 3: love whatever you want. You don't do anything for some

775
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:47,120
Speaker 3: guy you're not pretty because he says you're pretty, all right,

776
00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:49,440
Speaker 3: you want to have him by the face and kiss him.

777
00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:51,239
Speaker 3: You know, the whole shotgun and a shovel thing. I

778
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 3: got over that, you know, as long as it's on you,

779
00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:56,680
Speaker 3: and this is what you want, the knock yourself out

780
00:42:56,840 --> 00:43:03,000
Speaker 3: your choice? Fine, but but what do we see? We

781
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:09,080
Speaker 3: see that very often people are making choices because they

782
00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:14,520
Speaker 3: think those are the right choices to make. And this

783
00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:19,360
Speaker 3: is an inherently selfish dynamic for us. You and I

784
00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:23,200
Speaker 3: start fooling around the moment I start doing something that

785
00:43:23,239 --> 00:43:27,480
Speaker 3: doesn't work for you. Gone. It could be a little

786
00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:30,719
Speaker 3: I told this cat, he texts me this way one

787
00:43:30,800 --> 00:43:34,320
Speaker 3: more time. He's a ghost. I do it again. Damn.

788
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:44,000
Speaker 3: When you're married, people no longer have that cautionary idea

789
00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:48,080
Speaker 3: about best behavior. It's like, especially once you have kids together,

790
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:49,640
Speaker 3: it's like, where are you going? You know what I mean,

791
00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:53,400
Speaker 3: You're gonna and those things start to not matter anymore.

792
00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:57,600
Speaker 3: It's like, does this all my friends call me mo?

793
00:43:58,080 --> 00:44:00,399
Speaker 3: There's most still texture like that be Yeah, I don't

794
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:02,000
Speaker 3: give a shit anymore. You know what I care about

795
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:03,480
Speaker 3: is whether or not the dog throw up last night,

796
00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:05,600
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. It's like, so you know,

797
00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:08,360
Speaker 3: there's a French expression that a guy used at my wedding,

798
00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:10,120
Speaker 3: which I thought was like the worst thing he could

799
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:12,239
Speaker 3: have ever said, But I've learned to appreciate it over

800
00:44:12,239 --> 00:44:18,920
Speaker 3: the years. He said in French it's called les petite more.

801
00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:22,920
Speaker 3: I don't speak French little deaths, And he said that

802
00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:26,560
Speaker 3: love is a series of tiny deaths. And I was like,

803
00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:31,439
Speaker 3: in my wedding day, but it is the self has

804
00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:34,319
Speaker 3: to die. Now. I know there's a million psychologists out

805
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:35,960
Speaker 3: there who going to tell me in therapists that I'm

806
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,320
Speaker 3: bullshit and you got to live within your own truth

807
00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:42,319
Speaker 3: and you must be growing. Hasn't been my experience, my experiences,

808
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:46,239
Speaker 3: get over yourself. All right, Yeah she did that. Yeah

809
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:49,600
Speaker 3: he did that. Yeah that was fucked up? Now what right?

810
00:44:49,719 --> 00:44:53,520
Speaker 3: You know? Normanlear gave me great life advice when I

811
00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:56,360
Speaker 3: was in the barrel. There are only two questions you

812
00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:58,200
Speaker 3: have to ask. He was listening to me for like

813
00:44:58,239 --> 00:45:03,640
Speaker 3: ten minutes. Talk to somebody, and he said, uh, so

814
00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:05,680
Speaker 3: what now what?

815
00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:11,000
Speaker 2: Oh there's a book. Yeah that's yeah, so what now?

816
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:15,480
Speaker 3: So hard to practice, but it's like, okay, yeah, b

817
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:19,960
Speaker 3: did that. That's what happened, and it hurt. Now what?

818
00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:23,560
Speaker 1: Doctor Amador wrote a book called I'm right, You're wrong?

819
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:24,000
Speaker 3: Now what?

820
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:26,000
Speaker 2: I love it. It's just like the same thing now

821
00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:26,640
Speaker 2: what It's good?

822
00:45:26,719 --> 00:45:27,000
Speaker 6: Yeah?

823
00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:30,360
Speaker 1: So what about intimacy though? How do you how important

824
00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:33,960
Speaker 1: is intimacy? How does it sustain? After twenty years? And

825
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:35,759
Speaker 1: I'm not singling you out of asked a lot of

826
00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:39,839
Speaker 1: people about this, like what you know, how important is it?

827
00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:42,640
Speaker 3: It's all about needs and wants. It's all about needs

828
00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:45,880
Speaker 3: and wants, and everybody's different.

829
00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:48,319
Speaker 2: Paul says, needs and wants to and.

830
00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:52,719
Speaker 3: Then age matters. Okay, women fifty five, although we are

831
00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:55,400
Speaker 3: there's always like some new understanding. My wife's not here.

832
00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:58,360
Speaker 3: I'm saying, like, you get into that range where bodies

833
00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:02,720
Speaker 3: are changing, you know what what what we crave starts

834
00:46:02,719 --> 00:46:06,440
Speaker 3: to change? Right the guys, I was like, oh, you know,

835
00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:10,200
Speaker 3: so you know there are all these different factors that

836
00:46:10,280 --> 00:46:12,839
Speaker 3: go into it. But again it's not one size fits all.

837
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:16,000
Speaker 3: You can have where they fuck like rabbits, you know,

838
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:18,800
Speaker 3: I have they been married forever, they have like I

839
00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:21,319
Speaker 3: always having sex. I've never and I thought they were

840
00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:24,080
Speaker 3: like kidding me, they're making it up, but then I'm

841
00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:25,880
Speaker 3: making up. Then I have other ones that like, you know,

842
00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:27,760
Speaker 3: they don't even know what they look like naked anymore.

843
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:30,640
Speaker 3: You know, it's right there is you don't know, and

844
00:46:31,239 --> 00:46:34,600
Speaker 3: I don't can't tell you that this couple it doesn't

845
00:46:34,680 --> 00:46:36,440
Speaker 3: mean as much to me as this couple, or that

846
00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:39,239
Speaker 3: I don't appreciate what they're about as much, or that

847
00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:41,879
Speaker 3: they don't seem to love each other as much. It's

848
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:46,520
Speaker 3: just different. Everybody's got different and we love to judge them.

849
00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:50,120
Speaker 3: We love to judge them, and we love when relationships fail,

850
00:46:50,520 --> 00:46:53,160
Speaker 3: you know, like this Jada Pinkett Smith's ship. Oh my god,

851
00:46:54,760 --> 00:46:57,160
Speaker 3: I what I don't understand? And this is I'm a journalist,

852
00:46:57,200 --> 00:47:02,440
Speaker 3: I'm on cable TV. Both things. I have zero interest

853
00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:06,799
Speaker 3: in people's love lives, even though that's not what marriage is.

854
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:14,000
Speaker 3: But unless it's instructive of something that applies almost.

855
00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:15,640
Speaker 2: Universally, right, like this takeaway for you?

856
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:16,200
Speaker 3: Right?

857
00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:20,400
Speaker 1: Why is everybody lifting the veil now in a different

858
00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:22,040
Speaker 1: like Megan and Harry veil lifted.

859
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:22,640
Speaker 2: Let's show it.

860
00:47:22,560 --> 00:47:26,640
Speaker 1: All Victoria Beckham and David Beckham like they're very wealthy, successful,

861
00:47:26,640 --> 00:47:27,680
Speaker 1: way lift the veil?

862
00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:28,640
Speaker 2: He cheated?

863
00:47:28,719 --> 00:47:32,839
Speaker 1: This happened like Will Smith like a list actor, like

864
00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:36,799
Speaker 1: lifting the veil? Why is everybody want like everybody know everything?

865
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:39,480
Speaker 1: You don't want to want to know everything? To rip

866
00:47:39,560 --> 00:47:40,200
Speaker 1: the example.

867
00:47:41,840 --> 00:47:46,960
Speaker 3: Culture dominates, especially with celebrities. Everybody you just picked is

868
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:51,719
Speaker 3: a celebrity, and people who crave attention and following. We

869
00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:56,680
Speaker 3: are addicted to grievance. We went through a phase where

870
00:47:56,719 --> 00:47:58,960
Speaker 3: you can lift the veil as long as it was

871
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:02,279
Speaker 3: a funk of you going to rehab, you know, and

872
00:48:02,320 --> 00:48:05,799
Speaker 3: you getting on that thing. That was That phase is

873
00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:09,759
Speaker 3: over now it's just who's more fucked up, what's the

874
00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:10,680
Speaker 3: next fucked up thing?

875
00:48:12,040 --> 00:48:14,479
Speaker 1: But it's not good for business because I think they're

876
00:48:14,520 --> 00:48:17,360
Speaker 1: doing it for followers, and like Victoria Beckham is selling

877
00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:19,719
Speaker 1: clothes the way that Kim does online, and maybe it's

878
00:48:19,719 --> 00:48:21,640
Speaker 1: got to be only about money. But like I don't

879
00:48:21,640 --> 00:48:24,040
Speaker 1: think it's good for Will's business. Maybe it's good for hers.

880
00:48:24,239 --> 00:48:26,520
Speaker 1: It's not good for business at all.

881
00:48:26,640 --> 00:48:27,600
Speaker 2: Is it?

882
00:48:27,719 --> 00:48:31,280
Speaker 3: My ep Dusty, who have known for thirty years, and

883
00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:36,960
Speaker 3: my our oldest who's a twenty year old girl, and

884
00:48:37,640 --> 00:48:40,960
Speaker 3: even my wife will all tell me the same thing.

885
00:48:41,040 --> 00:48:45,160
Speaker 3: I look at Kardashian and I say, I remember when

886
00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:50,200
Speaker 3: that video came out. I remember how that video was

887
00:48:50,280 --> 00:48:53,880
Speaker 3: about ray J being endowed in a way that you

888
00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:59,320
Speaker 3: do not normally see like Lee that's right side act

889
00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:03,320
Speaker 3: was who he was having sex with? Who? And I

890
00:49:03,840 --> 00:49:07,000
Speaker 3: remember this. I remember that this point of fast, I

891
00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:09,160
Speaker 3: didn't know who she was. Nobody did, and it was

892
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:12,879
Speaker 3: is she like sleeping through this right now? With this

893
00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:15,640
Speaker 3: you know this guy, the prowess that this guy was

894
00:49:15,640 --> 00:49:18,759
Speaker 3: bringing there in the situation, How is she sleeping through this?

895
00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:21,760
Speaker 3: How is she even barely aware? And it was almost

896
00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:28,280
Speaker 3: like a joke, and then it blew up and I'll say, look,

897
00:49:28,520 --> 00:49:32,880
Speaker 3: you gotta respect the success. I respect success, but I

898
00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:35,960
Speaker 3: also believe. So what they'll correct me on is, no,

899
00:49:36,239 --> 00:49:39,279
Speaker 3: that's all you see. You got stuck there that you

900
00:49:39,320 --> 00:49:43,279
Speaker 3: see just that we don't see that. We see the

901
00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:47,160
Speaker 3: next eight moves that made her who we're interested in watching.

902
00:49:47,200 --> 00:49:50,880
Speaker 3: Then you only remember that because you're an old man

903
00:49:50,920 --> 00:49:52,680
Speaker 3: and you're not into any of the stuff about them,

904
00:49:52,680 --> 00:49:54,160
Speaker 3: because you don't watch any reality TV.

905
00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:54,719
Speaker 2: Got it?

906
00:49:54,840 --> 00:49:59,080
Speaker 3: You understand how she plays within the sisters dynamic and

907
00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:01,960
Speaker 3: the male and the babies and the landing.

908
00:50:01,719 --> 00:50:03,920
Speaker 2: And the products and the chess. There's a lot of

909
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:04,759
Speaker 2: chess moves there.

910
00:50:05,440 --> 00:50:06,440
Speaker 3: Understand all of that.

911
00:50:06,680 --> 00:50:10,480
Speaker 2: You and like you, she comes from a powerful matriarch.

912
00:50:10,520 --> 00:50:13,080
Speaker 1: You come from a powerful patriarch, like she's like the

913
00:50:13,120 --> 00:50:16,360
Speaker 1: mom is very very you know, the Joseph Kennedy of

914
00:50:16,400 --> 00:50:16,960
Speaker 1: the situation.

915
00:50:17,640 --> 00:50:20,200
Speaker 3: So I used to be very like and I'm sure

916
00:50:20,239 --> 00:50:22,480
Speaker 3: I've said publicly, I was like, you know, when you

917
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:25,279
Speaker 3: have the Kardashians, like, you know, your billionaires and the

918
00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:27,160
Speaker 3: people everyone's looking up to, you know, you got to

919
00:50:27,280 --> 00:50:30,560
Speaker 3: you gotta take a you got to stop and think. Well,

920
00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:33,640
Speaker 3: now that I have stopped and thought, because one of

921
00:50:33,640 --> 00:50:36,520
Speaker 3: the gifts, although I don't recommend it. Is when you

922
00:50:36,560 --> 00:50:38,400
Speaker 3: get shit canned and you're sitting on your ass and

923
00:50:38,440 --> 00:50:40,920
Speaker 3: your toxic and you got a year or so, do

924
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:43,960
Speaker 3: you you got a lot of choices about how to

925
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:49,239
Speaker 3: spend that time. And once I really went in on

926
00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:53,680
Speaker 3: myself about I got to figure some shit out. I

927
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:54,920
Speaker 3: got to figure out how to get out of this

928
00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:56,839
Speaker 3: hole and not get a job. I knew i'd get

929
00:50:56,880 --> 00:50:59,440
Speaker 3: a job. I'm good at what I do, but I

930
00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:01,600
Speaker 3: I you know, I could practice law, I could do

931
00:51:01,640 --> 00:51:05,200
Speaker 3: all kinds of stuff. But the it was knowing I

932
00:51:05,200 --> 00:51:09,080
Speaker 3: got to figure out, like what matters to me? Because

933
00:51:09,120 --> 00:51:11,680
Speaker 3: this was so unsettling that I couldn't see myself ever

934
00:51:11,719 --> 00:51:13,759
Speaker 3: going back into the media. When it happened, I was like,

935
00:51:13,840 --> 00:51:17,920
Speaker 3: now it's just too fucked up. Oh yeah, And I

936
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:20,000
Speaker 3: was like, what am I about? What do I care about?

937
00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:21,919
Speaker 3: Why do I care about it? Why do I why?

938
00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:25,160
Speaker 3: Why are these things fucked up about me? And what

939
00:51:25,239 --> 00:51:27,080
Speaker 3: have I not been listening to? And I was talking

940
00:51:27,120 --> 00:51:29,319
Speaker 3: to my therapist and he's like, all right, good, So

941
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:32,760
Speaker 3: if you're willing, if you're ready to listen, I'll start

942
00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:34,640
Speaker 3: telling you the same things I've been telling you for

943
00:51:34,640 --> 00:51:38,960
Speaker 3: the last ten years and whether it was you know

944
00:51:39,440 --> 00:51:41,279
Speaker 3: what was the lesson that's worth it because you know,

945
00:51:41,320 --> 00:51:46,840
Speaker 3: my story itself gets kind of tedious? Is The word

946
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:53,440
Speaker 3: forward is obviously directional, right, but it's also suggestive of

947
00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:58,960
Speaker 3: an intentionality. If you can inculcate who concepts into your

948
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:03,880
Speaker 3: life on a daily basis, this is straight up pragmatism. Okay,

949
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:07,080
Speaker 3: this requires no belief in anything bigger than yourself and

950
00:52:07,120 --> 00:52:11,080
Speaker 3: your own reasoned choice. And they both start with the

951
00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:17,880
Speaker 3: same three letters, but for different reasons, forgive and forward.

952
00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:27,680
Speaker 3: If you can live those two ideas, you will absolutely

953
00:52:27,719 --> 00:52:30,840
Speaker 3: no matter what you're dealing with. You've got terminal illness,

954
00:52:31,120 --> 00:52:34,439
Speaker 3: you've got financial problems that are almost irreconcilable. You've got

955
00:52:34,440 --> 00:52:36,319
Speaker 3: some asshole in your life that you don't know how

956
00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:37,600
Speaker 3: to get rid of without a cost, and you a

957
00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:40,480
Speaker 3: lot of money. You've got kids that you're worried about

958
00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:44,239
Speaker 3: or they're worried about you. You have addiction, whatever it is,

959
00:52:45,200 --> 00:52:52,200
Speaker 3: those mechanisms of forgiving yourself, because that's why we don't

960
00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:54,040
Speaker 3: get better. The reason that I don't get better at

961
00:52:54,080 --> 00:52:56,600
Speaker 3: things is because I don't believe I deserve to. I

962
00:52:56,760 --> 00:53:02,080
Speaker 3: make the same fucking mistakes and poor choices in relationships. Whatever.

963
00:53:02,520 --> 00:53:04,920
Speaker 3: The efficient buddy could be, my wife could be somebody.

964
00:53:05,080 --> 00:53:11,400
Speaker 3: Just why because I'll put myself into the same situations

965
00:53:11,920 --> 00:53:14,880
Speaker 3: because I don't believe I deserve anything better. I haven't

966
00:53:14,920 --> 00:53:18,520
Speaker 3: really processed why I would do this and what I'm

967
00:53:18,560 --> 00:53:20,040
Speaker 3: getting out of it or not getting out of it,

968
00:53:20,080 --> 00:53:22,279
Speaker 3: and what I'm giving up. I don't do that because

969
00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:25,520
Speaker 3: I'm a self loather. But that's a cheap it's easy.

970
00:53:25,719 --> 00:53:28,359
Speaker 3: You self loather. Oh you know I'm a self loather,

971
00:53:28,560 --> 00:53:29,640
Speaker 3: So I'm i'm.

972
00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:32,680
Speaker 1: Now because then you limit yourself by categorizing yourself with that.

973
00:53:32,680 --> 00:53:34,200
Speaker 1: It pushes you down, it limits you.

974
00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:38,760
Speaker 3: Who structure Now, that's nature nurture. Also, I was raped

975
00:53:39,200 --> 00:53:43,480
Speaker 3: self loath. Uh. And my brother is a self loather. Uh.

976
00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:46,240
Speaker 3: He's also a genius, so he has like an offset

977
00:53:46,280 --> 00:53:50,200
Speaker 3: of intellectualism with it. But it's I see it in

978
00:53:50,320 --> 00:53:53,120
Speaker 3: myself like you and I will be I don't working

979
00:53:53,200 --> 00:53:57,520
Speaker 3: out whatever, it's something something simple, and you'll be like,

980
00:53:58,160 --> 00:54:01,239
Speaker 3: you know, you'll do whatever you do, and I'll be like,

981
00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:03,719
Speaker 3: look at you feeling good about that. That ain't shit.

982
00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:06,160
Speaker 3: I can do twice what you just did, and you're like, yeah,

983
00:54:06,160 --> 00:54:08,000
Speaker 3: but what I did was good for me. No, I'm

984
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:11,320
Speaker 3: the standard. If you're not better than me, you suck.

985
00:54:12,080 --> 00:54:19,480
Speaker 3: Now what is that? That's not healthy? Because why am

986
00:54:19,520 --> 00:54:24,320
Speaker 3: I putting myself in a position of such low esteem?

987
00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:29,319
Speaker 3: Why would you believe that whatever you are is the

988
00:54:29,520 --> 00:54:34,719
Speaker 3: absolute minimum standard of anything? Why would you do that

989
00:54:34,760 --> 00:54:37,880
Speaker 3: to yourself? Well, you know life is so hard, failure

990
00:54:38,520 --> 00:54:43,600
Speaker 3: and setbacks and disappointment is so guaranteed. Why would you

991
00:54:43,680 --> 00:54:48,880
Speaker 3: do anything to short yourself on upside? Because I can't forgive,

992
00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:51,520
Speaker 3: and I struggle with.

993
00:54:51,760 --> 00:54:53,719
Speaker 2: I am better with all I think, then I think.

994
00:54:53,880 --> 00:54:56,560
Speaker 1: I spoke to Rob Low about when he was twenty

995
00:54:56,560 --> 00:54:58,840
Speaker 1: six what happened, And it wasn't even he said his

996
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:02,319
Speaker 1: low wasn't even w and during at the convention he

997
00:55:02,440 --> 00:55:05,759
Speaker 1: said it was like doing the Academy Awards and doing

998
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:08,880
Speaker 1: the snow white bit. But anyway, he said, like he

999
00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:12,480
Speaker 1: was intentionally crashing himself into a brick wall. He needed

1000
00:55:12,480 --> 00:55:14,960
Speaker 1: to like, so this could be your moment of your life,

1001
00:55:14,960 --> 00:55:17,920
Speaker 1: your brick wall that you some people. Nobody gets out

1002
00:55:17,920 --> 00:55:19,719
Speaker 1: without paying the bill, so.

1003
00:55:20,040 --> 00:55:21,160
Speaker 2: You're riding high. You're good.

1004
00:55:21,160 --> 00:55:23,799
Speaker 1: Look, nobody gets out without paying the bill, so this

1005
00:55:23,840 --> 00:55:24,560
Speaker 1: you're paying the bill.

1006
00:55:25,560 --> 00:55:28,240
Speaker 3: But here's the thing. Look, I believe that the rent

1007
00:55:28,280 --> 00:55:31,600
Speaker 3: is do every day and the problems are the same,

1008
00:55:31,760 --> 00:55:36,799
Speaker 3: The challenges are the same. The manifestations change, but the

1009
00:55:36,880 --> 00:55:42,800
Speaker 3: rules remain the same. Forgiveness is the only way.

1010
00:55:43,280 --> 00:55:45,560
Speaker 1: So who do you forgive? And how do you move forward?

1011
00:55:45,640 --> 00:55:47,920
Speaker 1: You're moving forward, You're forgiving. Who do you have to forgive?

1012
00:55:48,080 --> 00:55:49,719
Speaker 2: Do you forgive? CNN? Do you watch it?

1013
00:55:49,760 --> 00:55:53,080
Speaker 1: You forgive Jeffice, Jeff Zucker Do you still hold anger?

1014
00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:53,359
Speaker 6: Like?

1015
00:55:53,560 --> 00:55:55,040
Speaker 2: What's what's the arc