Speaker 1: All right, we got a new episode for you today,
Speaker 1: and it is a textual healing. That's where somebody needs
Speaker 1: help with a texting situation, and well that's where we
Speaker 1: step in.
Speaker 2: Yes, we don't get to do these that often, but
Speaker 2: no we don't.
Speaker 3: We don't, but they're fun.
Speaker 1: But first we got to talk about Costco Costco guy yesterday,
Speaker 1: executive members only.
Speaker 4: Yeah, people are not a fan of executive members only guy.
Speaker 2: Someone said, actually, is this too bad to read?
Speaker 4: Maybe not, he was exposed to too much Costco gasoline
Speaker 4: as a kid.
Speaker 2: But look at that one. Oh my goodness, what a
Speaker 2: judgmental snob. She could do much better.
Speaker 4: Sounds like a guy who thinks he is self made
Speaker 4: with a silver spoon.
Speaker 3: Up his butt.
Speaker 4: And then somebody else who said, I was waiting for
Speaker 4: Kai to be in on it with the LARPers.
Speaker 3: Oh, oh el yeah, I could see that. Maybe it'd
Speaker 3: be good for him. Yeah, he needs to put his
Speaker 3: energy somewhere.
Speaker 2: Else if he needs to get into a little LARPing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, a little la action role play night fixed Kai.
Speaker 1: All right, Well we'll see how you feel about today's episode.
Speaker 5: Right now, the modern dating world has so many different
Speaker 5: levels of relationships that you can be in and it
Speaker 5: really depends on what you want. You're actually right, there's
Speaker 5: like categories.
Speaker 3: Now for everybody else.
Speaker 5: It's kind of nice because there's you know, a casual
Speaker 5: companionship where you hang out but it's not romantic, a
Speaker 5: situationship where it's romantic but it's not committed, A monoga
Speaker 5: mish where it's committed but not serious. What word would
Speaker 5: you describe your situation, brook, Mine's just marriage. I don't
Speaker 5: say it too romantically. I'm so hyped.
Speaker 3: Retro.
Speaker 5: But one of our listeners is caught in a different
Speaker 5: type of complicated entanglement and she's hoping that we can
Speaker 5: help uncomplicate it. I hope it's not as complicated as
Speaker 5: a Brooks good luck, and she wants to do it
Speaker 5: in the weirdest way possible. She's asked for our help.
Speaker 5: You're gonna hear it right after this. How many times
Speaker 5: on this show have listeners asked us to help them
Speaker 5: break up with their significant others? Oh no, it's brook
Speaker 5: and Jeffrey in the morning. That's why we created an
Speaker 5: entire segment called Brooke Breaks You Up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I am not in the headspace for this today,
Speaker 1: Jeff Okay.
Speaker 5: Well, here's the good news, Brook. Yeah, you don't have
Speaker 5: to do that today.
Speaker 4: Oh good.
Speaker 5: Okay, because this couple has already had the breakup talk.
Speaker 3: Oh good.
Speaker 5: And I guess the issue is the problem is the
Speaker 5: breakup isn't happening fast enough.
Speaker 3: What a breakup happened right after the talk?
Speaker 5: That's what I think this listener is saying in her email.
Speaker 5: But before I confuse my co host any further, let's
Speaker 5: just talk to Maria about it. Maria, welcome to the show.
Speaker 6: Hey, you sound chipper for a lady who may or
Speaker 6: may not be in a relationship.
Speaker 5: We've officially confused everybody in the room. Maria. So what's
Speaker 5: the situation that you're in with this guy that you're
Speaker 5: dating or or not dating? What's going on?
Speaker 6: Okay? So I started dating this guy like six months ago.
Speaker 6: His name is James James.
Speaker 5: Okay, and what's the situation with James.
Speaker 6: Well, I do really like spending time with him. He's
Speaker 6: a good guy, but it's just it's not a relationship
Speaker 6: that I ever kind of saw getting too serious. Like
Speaker 6: when I picture my future husband, it's it's just not him.
Speaker 3: Okay, But why why isn't it him?
Speaker 6: I don't know. It's just like they say, like when
Speaker 6: you know, you know, but also you know when you
Speaker 6: know that.
Speaker 1: It's not.
Speaker 3: Fair, that's fair.
Speaker 1: Like this spark isn't quite right. It has nothing to
Speaker 1: do with who he is as a person.
Speaker 3: It's just not and it kind of hurts.
Speaker 5: But have you been honest with him that he's not
Speaker 5: husband material for you?
Speaker 3: We don't need to say it that, yeah, you're not
Speaker 3: doing the breakup.
Speaker 5: So how honest are we being with James?
Speaker 6: I mean, a couple of months into us dating, I
Speaker 6: could kind of tell that he was more into me
Speaker 6: than I was into him, and so I basically told
Speaker 6: him like, Hey, I'm having fun with you, but I
Speaker 6: just don't know if we should continue what's going on
Speaker 6: between the two of us.
Speaker 3: And so what was his response to that?
Speaker 6: Honestly, he could do really well.
Speaker 5: He joke.
Speaker 6: He was kind of joking back like, well, if you
Speaker 6: want to break up with me, you can't do it
Speaker 6: until your mom's wedding because you already invited me.
Speaker 1: Oh, okay, do you mind bringing him to your mom's wedding?
Speaker 6: Honestly, no, Like we kind of came up with a
Speaker 6: solution is that we'll do the wedding, but we're going
Speaker 6: to have a scheduled breakup.
Speaker 5: Date or in the middle of your mom's wedding.
Speaker 3: That's really cordial, Like it's kind of cool.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so the wedding is coming up or it already happened.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's so it just happened, and congress anytime. So
Speaker 6: that's the thing is that we decided that it would
Speaker 6: be two weeks after the wedding.
Speaker 5: Okay, just to wind it down a little bit after.
Speaker 1: Like the jo or maybe not to make it look
Speaker 1: like it was your mom's fault that you're breaking up.
Speaker 5: Fair.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean we just didn't want to do it
Speaker 6: like directly after. And honestly, like, we had a great time.
Speaker 6: We had a good run and I wasn't stressing about it.
Speaker 6: But then a funny thing happened while we were at
Speaker 6: the wedding. James was off eating and talking with family
Speaker 6: and stuff like that, and I ended up meeting another guy.
Speaker 1: Oh maybe the new stepdad's got some hotties.
Speaker 6: No, it's nothing, it's nothing weird. It's not like a
Speaker 6: stepbrother or anything like that. Because he's friends with my
Speaker 6: new stepdad's family and and you know, it was really cute.
Speaker 6: It was sweet, like we had instant chemistry and he
Speaker 6: asked me out, but it was it was really cute.
Speaker 6: But the only thing is he's going to be leaving
Speaker 6: town soon and the only day that he can meet
Speaker 6: up is the day before our schedule to break up.
Speaker 3: So you just need to change the day to the
Speaker 3: breakup up to see.
Speaker 7: Wait, if you guys already know you're going to break
Speaker 7: up if you go on a David, so that's not
Speaker 7: cheating you guys are done, right.
Speaker 5: But remember this guy likes her more than she likes him,
Speaker 5: so it's going to affect him differently. I mean, so she's.
Speaker 3: Still thinking of his feelings at the end of it.
Speaker 3: It sounds like you just want to keep it clean,
Speaker 3: is that right?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Well, I also really appreciated him being so cool about
Speaker 6: everything and still wanting to go to the wedding and
Speaker 6: all that. Like, it's already a weird situation. I'm trying
Speaker 6: to just do it the best way that I can can.
Speaker 1: I ask, are you guys acting like boyfriend and girlfriend
Speaker 1: right now?
Speaker 6: I mean, well, we're still technically together, so yeah, okay.
Speaker 5: But we're not doing Brooke breaks you up instead. What
Speaker 5: She's requested is some textual healing on to text her
Speaker 5: current guy James and ask him to push up the
Speaker 5: date of the breakup.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I just I want to move it up by
Speaker 6: one day.
Speaker 1: Oh, you know, this is the first time I feel
Speaker 1: like the breakup conversation via text is allowed because you've
Speaker 1: had so many breakup stations.
Speaker 7: But what if you have something planned, like there's a
Speaker 7: last date meal, Like, do you.
Speaker 5: Have anything planned like that? Special?
Speaker 6: The plan for us was to kind of do breakfast
Speaker 6: together at the same diner where we first met.
Speaker 5: Full guys are so poetic about that.
Speaker 2: I know, I feel like a text breakup might just
Speaker 2: be better this way.
Speaker 3: So how do we start the conversation?
Speaker 5: Well, what if you be direct with him but also
Speaker 5: unavailable at the same time.
Speaker 3: That sounds passive and aggressive.
Speaker 5: That, yes, that's the perfect sweet spot. That so, if
Speaker 5: I'm you, I want to put it in their core
Speaker 5: and let them make the final decision on how to proceed, which.
Speaker 1: Is so Jeffrey, nobody you can understand my life.
Speaker 3: Were making a decision, We're pretty good.
Speaker 5: I would say, listen, I'm so so sorry, but my
Speaker 5: plans have changed and I have a conflict on that day,
Speaker 5: and I'm not going to be able to make our
Speaker 5: breakfast sad emoji. You are owning like it's my fault,
Speaker 5: but that day doesn't work, and then you see what
Speaker 5: he wants to do with it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he likes you so much up scared is going
Speaker 4: to push it a year out.
Speaker 1: A terrible text descend, but just for experiment experiment reasons, Yeah,
Speaker 1: and experimentation.
Speaker 6: So let's try there we go, Yeah, okay, I like that.
Speaker 6: Let me kind of write it out and.
Speaker 5: Make it sound like you're upset, like, Hi, I'm so
Speaker 5: so sorry to do this, but my plans have suddenly changed.
Speaker 5: I can't make our breakup breakfast.
Speaker 3: We're going to call it break.
Speaker 5: Up whatever you want to call it, okay, and then
Speaker 5: put sad emojis like you really were looking forward to that.
Speaker 1: God, it feels so bad because something else is more
Speaker 1: important than breaking up, Like.
Speaker 7: He's gonna ask what could be more important?
Speaker 5: I'm just going off of what we know about this
Speaker 5: guy in his personality, and he was cool with the
Speaker 5: whole concept of a breakup date, so you might not.
Speaker 2: Be as devastated and doesn't like him, but he's still
Speaker 2: go hang out.
Speaker 6: With her for.
Speaker 1: I mean with the he could be a guy like
Speaker 1: Jeffrey that likes others to make the decisions him.
Speaker 5: You tell me exactly, so Maria, you make the final
Speaker 5: choice here. What do you want to I don't want
Speaker 5: to be responsible.
Speaker 6: Okay, I'm gonna say, Hi, I'm so sorry, but my
Speaker 6: plans have changed this week. I'm going to be camping
Speaker 6: on Saturday.
Speaker 5: Make up the line, right, I would be less specific,
Speaker 5: camping just so that way.
Speaker 6: I'm out of town.
Speaker 5: You can I'm out of town.
Speaker 3: Out of town, he would be the date.
Speaker 6: Okay, I'm just gonna say. I'll just say that I'm
Speaker 6: out of town. I think that's good.
Speaker 2: Send the text sage and.
Speaker 6: Okay, okay, I sent it and I put at the end,
Speaker 6: I put the I can't make our planned break up breakfast,
Speaker 6: and I did Emoi.
Speaker 3: Okay, there you go.
Speaker 1: It's like, are you sad because of the breakup or
Speaker 1: are you said because you can't make it?
Speaker 5: Well, whatever happens, it's on you one hundred percent. I
Speaker 5: would take no responsibility. Then when we come back, we
Speaker 5: will see if you're soon to be ex boyfriend has responded.
Speaker 5: As we continue Textual Healing Breakfast Breakup Edition and it's
Speaker 5: coming up right after this.
Speaker 3: Good music choice.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, we're in the middle of textual healing with
Speaker 5: our listener Maria, who's been dating a guy for almost
Speaker 5: six months now and realized just a little while in
Speaker 5: that this isn't going to be forever.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so which is okay, doesn't mean it's bad. Yeah,
Speaker 3: not foreverything totally.
Speaker 5: So they made the choice, you know, since her mom
Speaker 5: was getting remarried, why not extend their relationship just a
Speaker 5: little bit longer, and came up with a breakup date,
Speaker 5: which is a specific day on the calendar when they
Speaker 5: both agreed the relationship would officially end. The only problem
Speaker 5: is a new love interest has suddenly resurfaced for Maria,
Speaker 5: so she's come to us wondering how can she text
Speaker 5: her current guy, James, to let him know I actually
Speaker 5: need to move up our breakup date without being too specific.
Speaker 1: About why, without saying I found another guy who's super
Speaker 1: hot and I'm really into him, and he's leaving for work,
Speaker 1: so I need to get this date in.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I mean most guys would take that so well, but James,
Speaker 5: we're a little worried about. I am curious how he's
Speaker 5: going to react because I'm thinking, how would I personally feel,
Speaker 5: or how would any of us feel if you're him
Speaker 5: and you get that message.
Speaker 1: Well, and even though he's more into you than you
Speaker 1: are to him, like he obviously agrees this isn't a
Speaker 1: forever thing, else he would have fought harder to Yeah.
Speaker 5: Sure, so he might be a little hurt or he
Speaker 5: might be totally cool with it, Maria has He responded,
Speaker 5: he has, Oh my gosh, Okay, what did he say?
Speaker 1: So?
Speaker 6: He texted a picture of Macauley Cokein's shocked.
Speaker 3: Like a shaving cream on or the ship after shave on.
Speaker 1: Any streams Okay, yeah, okay.
Speaker 6: No, And underneath it he wrote reactivating my Tinder as
Speaker 6: we speak with the smark emoji.
Speaker 3: Okay, So does that mean you're just single?
Speaker 6: Now?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Maybe that's the text we need to ask, what does
Speaker 5: this mean? We're done?
Speaker 7: Now?
Speaker 5: What does that mean to you? Maria?
Speaker 6: That's the thing. So we've had this like whole inside
Speaker 6: joke saying going about how we're going to reactivate our
Speaker 6: Tinder accounts at the exact same time when we break up.
Speaker 6: He's really funny, like honestly, like this is why I
Speaker 6: kind of wanted to date him in the first place.
Speaker 3: I kind of wanted.
Speaker 5: Yeah, just one of the ways that you're reacting, it
Speaker 5: sounds like you don't even want it to really end,
Speaker 5: like deep down, I don't know that.
Speaker 7: Reminded her him.
Speaker 2: She seems excited going to date with the new guys.
Speaker 6: It just sucks because he's been super charming and I
Speaker 6: hate it it, you know, I mean, I'm.
Speaker 4: Freaking easier if one person is just bad guy.
Speaker 3: You can't be indecisive.
Speaker 5: No, because from his text it sounds like he's cool
Speaker 5: with it. It's over.
Speaker 6: Yeah, this is like the best case scenario, right Well,
Speaker 6: that's the thing is like it should be over in
Speaker 6: a few days, but like it shouldn't be over like
Speaker 6: right now.
Speaker 5: Wait are you saying now that you feel like maybe
Speaker 5: you like him and you don't really want it to end?
Speaker 6: Feel that no, like for me and him. I just
Speaker 6: I just need to confirm that it's done officially, you
Speaker 6: know what I mean?
Speaker 5: I mean, didn't he already confirm it?
Speaker 3: Mcaulay Culkin just confirmed it? Yeah for sure.
Speaker 5: I mean I guess he did it through a joke.
Speaker 5: You want, like actual written words, we are over?
Speaker 6: I I mean, I just I have to like figure
Speaker 6: out how to do this, so I know that there's
Speaker 6: like an actual like that it's done.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: Is there a chance that maybe you're disappointed in him
Speaker 1: in being not caring.
Speaker 5: Not pushing back more?
Speaker 6: I mean no, I just I don't know. I I
Speaker 6: already made my decisions, so I just have to go
Speaker 6: through with it.
Speaker 5: Okay. Well, look, if you want to keep it with
Speaker 5: the funny light mode that he's been doing, maybe just
Speaker 5: type in the date when you first started dating with
Speaker 5: a dash to today's date and then a little tombstone emoji.
Speaker 6: Alright, oh god, what do you think? Yeah, I know
Speaker 6: I do kind of Okay, Jeff, you're really funny are using.
Speaker 5: Yeah, let's focus on the goal that you came to
Speaker 5: us hoping to do. What do you think about what
Speaker 5: I said sending the dates with the dash and the
Speaker 5: tombstone emoji? Yeah?
Speaker 6: I like that. I'm going to send that right now.
Speaker 3: Okay, Okay, so we're just wrapping things up.
Speaker 1: This is actually, like I feel like, a really good
Speaker 1: example of how we all should handle breakups.
Speaker 5: Yeah, every relationship should have a premeditated breakup and Murray,
Speaker 5: by the way, I forgot to tell you Chime in
Speaker 5: anytime if you see him texting you back, or you
Speaker 5: see any dots or anything like that.
Speaker 3: And if you see dots, also let.
Speaker 5: Us know because that's very important for the show.
Speaker 6: Okay, I need to tell you something. What what I
Speaker 6: didn't send the toobest text?
Speaker 3: What did you the tombstone text? What did you send?
Speaker 6: I didn't, I didn't send anything. I think I'm starting
Speaker 6: to have feelings for him more than money.
Speaker 2: These are going to last a week.
Speaker 3: You can't do this.
Speaker 1: You're just straging him along and then you're gonna actually
Speaker 1: hurt his feelings.
Speaker 3: This is the way to do this.
Speaker 6: It's all happening so fast, and now I'm just like
Speaker 6: second guessing it.
Speaker 5: Okay, listen, we get that you're confused, but we are
Speaker 5: on a time limit here on this show, and if
Speaker 5: you don't know what you want to do, then we
Speaker 5: have no goal to reach for.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 6: I know, I know I didn't mean to put you
Speaker 6: guys in this position, but I guess I want to
Speaker 6: enjoy the last three days of them.
Speaker 3: Okay, I don't know that that's an option.
Speaker 5: If that's how you feel, then why don't you just
Speaker 5: send that?
Speaker 7: Then?
Speaker 3: Can't hand?
Speaker 2: It looks like books.
Speaker 5: It's on fire. I can't go there. No, she won
Speaker 5: What are you gonna say?
Speaker 6: Now, I'll just tell them that I'll see if I
Speaker 6: can live the date or something like that, and just
Speaker 6: that I want to at least have our last couple
Speaker 6: of days together.
Speaker 5: Oh, I respond to.
Speaker 3: This is when you see the power pendulum swing.
Speaker 5: Yeah, he's like, what.
Speaker 7: Are you doing?
Speaker 2: She likes me too much?
Speaker 3: He's saying, she's so into me.
Speaker 6: Okay, I sent it.
Speaker 3: Oh respond, I think you're going to be heartbroken this weekend.
Speaker 5: So uh yeah, we've gone from like wanting to move
Speaker 5: up the breakup date to not having a breakup date
Speaker 5: to now it's back to the original breakup like.
Speaker 4: Nothing ever happened, Brooks saying, I wish all relationships handled
Speaker 4: this way.
Speaker 7: No wonder if they can't.
Speaker 5: At least it's not confusing.
Speaker 6: Oh my god, what he sent me a message?
Speaker 5: What is the most important one of the whole thing?
Speaker 6: He said, too late, And he sent a screenshot of
Speaker 6: his Tinder bio he already restarted.
Speaker 3: Right, God, have fun with the new guy, Maria.
Speaker 6: I guess God, I'm gonna go. I have to re
Speaker 6: download my Tinder so I can rematch him.
Speaker 5: No one of us can get there for you're in
Speaker 5: a healthy mental state, Marina, I feel like textual healing achieved.
Speaker 1: Hey, but listen, she did finally let him make the choice,
Speaker 1: just like you wanted to.
Speaker 5: You did it with the other guy.
Speaker 7: Now.
Speaker 5: Yeah, enjoy trying to rematch with your ex boyfriend on Tinder.
Speaker 3: I feel like she's going to stand outside of he's
Speaker 3: a part.
Speaker 6: Enough swiping Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 5: Is it harder to rematch with someone on Tinder after
Speaker 5: you've already been in a non serious, exclusive six month
Speaker 5: relationship with them?
Speaker 7: I would think emotionally it's harder.
Speaker 4: Could set your you know categories really specific?
Speaker 3: Yeah, this color hair. Yeah.
Speaker 5: Maybe it's just like the normal thing on Tinder where
Speaker 5: everyone's just going through the rotation until they wind up
Speaker 5: back where they started.
Speaker 7: You know what. Actually, I remember being on Tinder and
Speaker 7: I unmatched with somebody or I match and then I
Speaker 7: didn't go back on the app. I go A week later,
Speaker 7: she's back in my options.
Speaker 3: I'm like, does that is it like reaching the end
Speaker 3: of the Internet. Yeah?
Speaker 5: It just makes me so happy for her. I feel
Speaker 5: like she's right where she wants to be.
Speaker 3: She knows where she knows to be.
Speaker 2: Reminds every friend going through a breakup.
Speaker 1: Ever, that woman needs to be single is what she needs.
Speaker 3: Well, we have to work on ourself a little bit.
Speaker 5: Yes, we have asked Maria to keep us updated on
Speaker 5: her breakup and her possible rekindling. Juting on you by
Speaker 5: the end.
Speaker 3: Jury, I don't know that I want to be updated
Speaker 3: on this updates good just.
Speaker 5: Leaving it, dag pause with the new guy who knows
Speaker 5: what's going to happen. But if you enjoyed that, We've
Speaker 5: got plenty more textual healings up on our podcast at
Speaker 5: Brook and Jeffrey. And in the spirit of this call,
Speaker 5: we want you to subscribe unsubscribed six months later, and
Speaker 5: then we subscribe to us all over again, and then
Speaker 5: just watch us.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's fun.
Speaker 5: It's Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.