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Speaker 1: Hi everybody. While I'm taking the month of September off

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Speaker 1: of doing stand up, I return on October one to

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Speaker 1: complete my vaccinated and Horny tour October, November and December.

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Speaker 1: I have new dates up. I kick it off in Saratoga, California,

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Speaker 1: and I'm coming to all parts of California, Long Beach

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Speaker 1: Baker's field. I'm going to Niagara Falls, Tucson, Arizona, Colorado, Minneapolis,

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Speaker 1: San Diego, reading Pennsylvania and Baltimore, Maryland, just to name

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Speaker 1: a few. There's also some Floridian dates in there, since

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Speaker 1: this will be my last year that I'm able to

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Speaker 1: go inside the state of Florida. SO CHECK OUT CHELSEA

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Speaker 1: HANDLER DOT COM for more stand up dates for my

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Speaker 1: vaccinated in Horny tour. These are my last dates. Hi, Catherine,

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Speaker 1: Hello Chelsea, how are you? Hello, hello, hi, guys, guess

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Speaker 1: where we are? We're in Majorca. Hello, Buenos Diaz. Told

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Speaker 1: hends that means whatever. We are in Ma Orca. Guys,

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Speaker 1: Catherine is here with her a lovely husband, Brad, who

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Speaker 1: also works on our podcast with us, and we are

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Speaker 1: just partying it up in Spain. You know that in

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Speaker 1: Spain mushrooms are legal. We Really. Yes, when I was

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Speaker 1: in New York I passed out so many mushrooms to

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Speaker 1: so many random people, whether we were at the US Open,

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Speaker 1: whether we were at bars. I was just like here,

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Speaker 1: put your finger in this, just dip it in, like

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Speaker 1: it's like almost like a chew like tobacco, because I

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Speaker 1: have this like little pill container filled with mushrooms and

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Speaker 1: I just figure if I ever get caught with it

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Speaker 1: going through T S A, I'll just say it's my

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Speaker 1: mother's ashes. There you go, my sister. I gave it

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Speaker 1: to to my friends when I was in New York

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Speaker 1: City and I was like here, dip your finger in this,

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Speaker 1: and then they both did and they're like this isn't

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Speaker 1: gonna be too strong, right. I go no, no, it's

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Speaker 1: gonna be fine, and then I was like those are

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Speaker 1: my mother's ashes. Probably tastes about the same, right I've yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 1: For anybody WHO's snorted somebody else's ashes, you know what

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Speaker 1: I'm talking about. Well, I have a couple of follow

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Speaker 1: ups today, Chelsea. Okay, great, this one I just kind

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Speaker 1: of thought was really funny. Chelsea, I just wanted you

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Speaker 1: to know that I'm a Baptist who has enjoyed you

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Speaker 1: for years. I don't agree with your opinions a percent

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Speaker 1: of the time, but that's okay. I don't agree with

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Speaker 1: my pastor a percent of the time either. I just

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Speaker 1: wanted you to know that many Christians put love first.

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Speaker 1: Loving one another is the greatest commandment of all. I

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Speaker 1: don't do everything perfectly, but I am secure in knowing

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Speaker 1: that God just expects me to try and be a

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Speaker 1: good person, have a sense of humor and be open

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Speaker 1: to hearing other perspectives, even if I don't agree with them.

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Speaker 1: So I hope hearing from a fan who is also

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Speaker 1: a Christian will make a positive impression on you. Take Care, Angela.

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Speaker 1: Oh and she also said Uganda was her favorite special.

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Speaker 1: Oh well, there will be a new special coming out

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Speaker 1: soon and that will be your new favorite. But thank you.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate that. And, Um, Huh, what do I I

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Speaker 1: just thought it was cute. Yeah, it's cute. I liked it.

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Speaker 1: I like that you have differing opinions than I do

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Speaker 1: and you're willing to sit and listen to me. That's

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Speaker 1: nice and I hope that I can do the same

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Speaker 1: for people who have differing opinions from me, and I

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Speaker 1: try very hard to do that, and all of our

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Speaker 1: listeners should too. Write. You know, as long as somebody's

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Speaker 1: not being hateful and acting in love, and they're not

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Speaker 1: being discriminatory or racist or sexist, then I think that

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Speaker 1: whatever smokes, what's the saying? Whatever rocks the whatever rocks

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Speaker 1: your cock? No, whatever floats your bone. I could have remever,

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Speaker 1: whatever floats your boat. Yeah, that's what I meant to say.

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Speaker 1: It's more appropriate for Antela than the first one. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and then a couple of other ones. These are sort

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Speaker 1: of on the same theme, but these were responses too,

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Speaker 1: after we had talked to Dan savage and you had

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Speaker 1: talked about like being on the playground and my hesturbating

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Speaker 1: for the first time and all that. But Jenna says,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I just have to say I learned

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Speaker 1: another reason why I connect with you so much. I

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Speaker 1: just finished the bathhouse episode with Dan Savage. Yes, I'm behind.

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Speaker 1: My first orgasm was also on the playground, climbing the

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Speaker 1: support stand of the swing set. I just had to

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Speaker 1: tell you that. I love you, Jenna. Oh, Jenna, Jenna,

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Speaker 1: do you know how many of us probably have masturbated

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Speaker 1: on playground equipment? I mean all of us. That's a

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Speaker 1: comfort to a lot of people because, yeah, you feel

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Speaker 1: such shame, like you're the only one. That's the important

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Speaker 1: thing for all of our listeners to remember. You're never

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Speaker 1: the only one who did anything. So if you feel

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Speaker 1: embarrassed or shameful about something, just no, there's a bunch

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Speaker 1: of people out there in the world who have also

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Speaker 1: done the same exact thing, no matter what the funk

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Speaker 1: it is. Yeah, well, and that actually leads me right

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Speaker 1: into the next email, which is on the same topic. Hi, Chelsea,

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Speaker 1: I just wanted to send a quick email after catching

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Speaker 1: up on the pod. I had a similar experience to

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Speaker 1: Chelsea with masturbation as a child and the shame I

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Speaker 1: still carey about it today, making it honestly a little

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Speaker 1: hard to type this email. I just wanted to say

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Speaker 1: Chelsea's openness about her experience really was so helpful to

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Speaker 1: me and lifted a lot of those feelings of shame

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Speaker 1: right off my shoulders. I really appreciate your discussion surrounding

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Speaker 1: the topic and it meant a lot to me. Thank you.

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Speaker 1: I love the podcast so much. People in my life

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Speaker 1: are sick of hearing me talk about it all the time.

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Speaker 1: Andrea sick of hearing you talk about the podcast. You're

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Speaker 1: talking about masturbating. That's funny. Both good, good. Yeah, we

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Speaker 1: should got to talk about more embarrassing I'll have to

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Speaker 1: think of some more embarrassing things, Catherine, that I've done,

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Speaker 1: and I mean I that there is no end out

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Speaker 1: of the things that I have experienced or done. I

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Speaker 1: love it. You're just out here doing the Lord's work.

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Speaker 1: It's great. Yeah, that's right. Oh, also, guys, we have merch.

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Speaker 1: We have dear Chelsea Merch, we have vaccinated in Horny Merch.

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Speaker 1: I have these awesome band t shirts now and we

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Speaker 1: have podcast merch. So go to Chelsea handler DOT COM

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Speaker 1: to check it out and make your purchase. So our

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Speaker 1: guests today, let's get to our guests today. We have

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Speaker 1: three guests together because they come as a package. They

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Speaker 1: are promoting their second book, which is called Lady's secrets.

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Speaker 1: It's out. September, means it is out and they're coinciding

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Speaker 1: Lady Secrets Tour that has kicked in September one, and

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Speaker 1: they are New York Times best selling authors and hosts

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Speaker 1: of the Lady Gang podcast, and their names are Jack Vanneck,

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Speaker 1: Kelty Knight and Becca Tobin. Hi, girls, hi, hi, hi,

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Speaker 1: Oh my God, it's a lady gang. Oh ship, let

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Speaker 1: me get my ship together. Hi Girls, how are you?

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Speaker 1: We're so nervous. Don't be nervous, don't be silly. Come on,

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Speaker 1: we're so excited to be here. Katherine, I love seeing

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Speaker 1: your face. I've been imagining it for so many months

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Speaker 1: now and you're cuter than I imagined. Thank you. Likewise,

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Speaker 1: look at you all. This is we're such fans of

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Speaker 1: the show, so this is very streal. So thank you.

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Speaker 1: Oh well, I'm so excited to have you guys back.

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Speaker 1: I'm glad we could reciprocate. Awesome. Okay, so our guests

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Speaker 1: today are a great group of ladies that I have.

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Speaker 1: Don't say ladies. It's like saying gals. I don't like.

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Speaker 1: I would like to make an announcement. I don't like

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Speaker 1: when people refer to women as Gals. That puts you

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Speaker 1: into a generation that can't relate to broads. It's very

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Speaker 1: similar to rod rods, but that's from men, because no

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Speaker 1: woman's like that. I met abroad, but Gal. It reminds

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Speaker 1: me of like George W Bush would say something like that.

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Speaker 1: So I don't want to say Gals, and I don't

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Speaker 1: even like girls anymore. I just want to say guys

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Speaker 1: about everybody, and I don't know if that implies some

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Speaker 1: sort of sexism, but I just think we should all

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Speaker 1: be considered guys because we're a group. But Anyway, okay, girls,

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Speaker 1: let's delve into your new book without me describing it.

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Speaker 1: I'd rather you guys describe it more actively. Okay. So

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Speaker 1: leady's secrets is a collection of secrets from the three

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Speaker 1: of us, as well as our community of leading from

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Speaker 1: all over the world. When we wrote our first book

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Speaker 1: called act like a lady. We all kind of have

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Speaker 1: little anecdotes from our lives, plus some advice that we

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Speaker 1: were given, like giving to all of our ladies out there.

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Speaker 1: And it turns out nobody cares about our advice. Nobody

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Speaker 1: wanted the advice because it was questionable at bout and

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Speaker 1: a lot of the time we're just like, drink a

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Speaker 1: bottle of wine when all else feel as it'll fix

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Speaker 1: all your problems. But they really loved our stories. So

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Speaker 1: we kind of dug really deep, went into like repressed

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Speaker 1: memories that we'd have, things that we've tried to block

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Speaker 1: out forever, and came up with some of our deepest,

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Speaker 1: darkest secrets to include in the book. And the leading

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Speaker 1: gang is so much bigger than the three of us.

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Speaker 1: It's all about our community, so we thought it was

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Speaker 1: only right that we include them into the process as well.

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Speaker 1: So we set up a hotline called one four or

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Speaker 1: four sexy lady, where girls would call in and anonymously

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Speaker 1: share their secrets. We had an online submission form. We

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Speaker 1: got thousands and thousands of secrets and the best made

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Speaker 1: it into this little baby right here. I love it.

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Speaker 1: I love it. So what did you guys learn? Everyone's

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Speaker 1: cheating on their husbands and they don't care and they

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Speaker 1: don't get caught because women are smarter than men. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I just came from a lunch with two people who

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Speaker 1: were talking about cheating on their spouses and I was

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Speaker 1: just like, who's got that kind of energy? And they

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Speaker 1: were like, I don't even want to have sex spouse

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Speaker 1: number one. Exactly. Nobody wants to have sex with anybody

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Speaker 1: for a long period of time and that's just natural behavior.

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Speaker 1: But I don't know, cheating and not cheating, it's like

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Speaker 1: it's not even a moral issue, it's an energy issue,

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Speaker 1: it's true, and sex is always so much better what

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Speaker 1: a stranger. So that's, I feel like, where everybody is

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Speaker 1: like reaching for. When that comes out. Well, sex is

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Speaker 1: better with a stranger, but it's also better in the beginning,

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Speaker 1: like any new relationship is always sexually like explosive, because

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Speaker 1: you're like Oh, oh, oh, yeah, I could be, but

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Speaker 1: you know, everything is like a new rebirth, even though

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Speaker 1: you've done this a million times with different people. You're like,

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Speaker 1: oh no, this is great and then and it's very

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Speaker 1: hard to sustain any sort of newness, which is the

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Speaker 1: big problem here. Well, what's interesting is the only women

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Speaker 1: I know who are sucking their husbands and want to

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Speaker 1: be is because they're the women who are being cheated

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Speaker 1: on and they know it. They like feel it in

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Speaker 1: their bones, because it's that Weird Butterfly thing that you get.

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Speaker 1: You think that that's because you're excited, but really it's

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Speaker 1: just the nervousness and insecurity, and so those are the

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Speaker 1: women that are fucking their husband's night and day. They're

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Speaker 1: being cheated on. So, yeah, does this mean I have

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Speaker 1: to have a really intense conversation with my husband after this?

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Speaker 1: Oh No, you do have good sex. The exception to

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Speaker 1: the role you know. Yeah, I told him, I was

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Speaker 1: like we might need to after this recording today, just

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Speaker 1: like mid day for you, and then you call out

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Speaker 1: in the Middle Lady Gang, Lady Gang told me you

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Speaker 1: were cheating. How are each of your individual romantic lives?

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Speaker 1: What's The lowdown? So I've been married to my husband, Chris,

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Speaker 1: who is a music manager, and he we've been together

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Speaker 1: twelve years, married nine, and I'm like, uh, you don't

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Speaker 1: ask about my sex life and I was gonna go

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Speaker 1: right into like I like a nipple Tassel. That's how

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Speaker 1: I keep it alive. But like, you didn't even ask that.

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Speaker 1: Why am I like? Oh my God, I went right

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Speaker 1: into my horizontal life, like right now. Okay, sorry, I

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Speaker 1: didn't just Chelsea was here and pasties. She does love

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Speaker 1: a nipple Tassel and somehow it goes into every interview

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Speaker 1: that we do. She interjects it somehow or enough. I'm

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Speaker 1: so proud I have it's not an appropriate time. Um,

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Speaker 1: I have been with my partners jared, for a little

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Speaker 1: bit over four years. We got engaged last year, hopefully

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Speaker 1: getting married next year, if I can ever actually plan

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Speaker 1: a wedding, which I was daunting and I keep pushing

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Speaker 1: it like out of my sight. But yeah, and then

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Speaker 1: Becca married for almost six years and we have a

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Speaker 1: six month old baby. So we barely have sex and

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Speaker 1: anytime he looks at me when I'm naked, I'm like please,

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Speaker 1: don't even think about it, I don't have energy. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: get away from me, get away from me. And how

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Speaker 1: did you three come together? So kelty and I were

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Speaker 1: in our twenties dancers in New York, not with tassels,

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Speaker 1: we were like Broadway dancers, roquettets and all that kind

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Speaker 1: of fun stuff, and then we just both happened to

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Speaker 1: land in Hollywood at the same time. I was an

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Speaker 1: actress and Kelty was doing entertainment journalism, and we kept

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Speaker 1: seeing each other on red carpets and may king eye

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Speaker 1: contact and being like isn't this the weirdest place you've

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Speaker 1: ever been? Like what is this? L A so weird?

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Speaker 1: We always feel bad about ourselves. So we had a

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Speaker 1: salad at Cafe One oh one one day and Kelty

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Speaker 1: has just always been a really like a pioneer of

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Speaker 1: the digital space, and we were like, we want to

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Speaker 1: talk show, but no one's going to give us that

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Speaker 1: because we're not anyone famous as kids. We don't have

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Speaker 1: a lot of money, like we have absolutely no like

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Speaker 1: nobody's going to give us what we want. So Kelsey

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Speaker 1: called me one day and she said, let's start a podcast.

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Speaker 1: And this was twenty like the end of and I

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Speaker 1: had no idea what a podcast was. I was like,

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Speaker 1: Adam Corolla, is that like what you're talking about? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so then we kelty was like no, it's it's podcasting.

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Speaker 1: That's the future and we can do proof of concept

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Speaker 1: with a podcast. But the problem is is we had

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Speaker 1: no third person with any street credibility. We needed somebody

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Speaker 1: who was in the Business World, an entrepreneur self starter,

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Speaker 1: not really somebody in Hollywood. So Jack and Kelty have

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Speaker 1: a mutual ex boyfriend and Kelty stalked Jack for a

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Speaker 1: really long time because she thought she was like the

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Speaker 1: coolest girl ever. And we just reached out to her

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Speaker 1: and like, do you want to start a podcast? And

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Speaker 1: Jack had she's such a fun, like good time girl,

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Speaker 1: her answer. She had no idea what it was and

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Speaker 1: she was like, sounds fun. She didn't know seven years

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Speaker 1: later we would be routing our tour across America and

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Speaker 1: crying everything. I didn't feel like I have to go

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Speaker 1: to twin falls, Idaho. Fuck you, guys, grand rabbits. Literally,

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Speaker 1: when we had our show for a blip on e

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Speaker 1: that got almost instantly canceled. So our talk show idea

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Speaker 1: did not work out. Jack's biggest problem with it, because

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Speaker 1: she's so out of Hollywood, was that she had to

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Speaker 1: wear a bra on television. She's like, I can't wear

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Speaker 1: a low cut shirt like I have to, and we're

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Speaker 1: like at least a nipple cover and she's like no,

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Speaker 1: like this is when I lose my identity and I'm

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Speaker 1: not down for it. I was like I need to

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Speaker 1: have either a nipple kind of showing through a shirt

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Speaker 1: or like a V down to my belly button. So

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Speaker 1: I wasn't getting that. So I'm very glad and that's

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Speaker 1: why I got sold. They went the nibbles out. I

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Speaker 1: think we would have been more successful. How long, how

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Speaker 1: short lived was the show? How long was it on?

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Speaker 1: For Sixteen episode? It was seventeen very grueling, hellish episodes. Ye,

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Speaker 1: for me. And then so that show got canceled and

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Speaker 1: then we decided to write a book and then Earth

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Speaker 1: got canceled during the pandemic. So we released that book

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Speaker 1: into a void of nothingness and we didn't get to

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Speaker 1: tour it or do anything. And now and now we're

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Speaker 1: out here and it's so difficult for me to be

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Speaker 1: on this podcast because I just want to be like, Chelsea,

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Speaker 1: are you doing late night, like what is happening? If

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Speaker 1: you want to talk about it, you can talk about it,

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Speaker 1: but like we need to we need to know. I'm

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Speaker 1: I'm in discussions to talk about it. I'm ready. After

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Speaker 1: I did Jimmy Kimmel for a week like a few

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Speaker 1: months ago, I just was like, Oh, this is such

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Speaker 1: a there's such a dearth. Hey, like I don't even

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Speaker 1: want to have to be responsible for that, but at

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Speaker 1: the same time I'm exactly the person that will be

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Speaker 1: responsible for that. Like women need a voice right now,

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Speaker 1: especially with all this disgusting turmoil about our rights being

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Speaker 1: stripped away and gay people and and and a contraception

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Speaker 1: and just what what's coming next? You know, like all

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Speaker 1: of it is just like the fact that there are

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Speaker 1: not women on late night in a big way. I

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Speaker 1: mean there's Amber Ruffin, who's on peacock, who's doing an

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Speaker 1: incredible job, but Samantha B got canceled. Like you can't

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Speaker 1: cancel a woman, right now. I'm sorry, like you just can't,

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Speaker 1: because as if these fucking guys are just telling the story.

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Speaker 1: They're not. The story is has to be told by

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Speaker 1: a woman. Now. Yeah, so I am in discussions to

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Speaker 1: do that. I have to do it at a much

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Speaker 1: more minimum, minimal commitment, because I don't want to do

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Speaker 1: a show five nights a week. But I'm just trying

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Speaker 1: to figure out, you know, where that place is and

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Speaker 1: what the right approaches. So I appreciate you saying that

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Speaker 1: and I do feel a big responsibility to show up.

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Speaker 1: You're like the only one, like if anyone's going to

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Speaker 1: get this job, which is so sad that there's like

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Speaker 1: a tiny half seat at the table and we're like hey,

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Speaker 1: we could maybe get a woman, and then there's like

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Speaker 1: one that has the career that could possibly be like

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Speaker 1: given this opportunity like it should be. There should be

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Speaker 1: ten Chelseas that are all fighting for ten spots or whatever,

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Speaker 1: but the fact that there's like one you and one

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Speaker 1: half seat is so disheartening. But like we need you,

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Speaker 1: we want you, like if there's anything we can do

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Speaker 1: to help, like I literally will start a petition. Ah,

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Speaker 1: you guys are the best. That's so sweet. I will

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Speaker 1: make it happen, but I also will make it happen

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Speaker 1: so that there is a door open for ten other

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Speaker 1: women to take that place of me, because there's no

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Speaker 1: reason that that this dearth the imbalance, after everything that

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Speaker 1: we've been discussing for the last five years between men

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Speaker 1: and women and the imbalance of power, and Hollywood pretending

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Speaker 1: they're on board but not really being on board, because

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Speaker 1: if they were, there would be women represented, and it's bullshit.

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Speaker 1: It's fucking bullshit, and any executive that doesn't want to

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Speaker 1: pull the trigger and say yes, okay, let's give a

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Speaker 1: voice to women now. This is enough with these five men,

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Speaker 1: you know, who basically are rotating the same thoughts with

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Speaker 1: different hairstyles. Well, actually the same hairstyle. Anyway, girls, back

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Speaker 1: to you. Okay, so I got the low down from

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Speaker 1: your relationships. I love that. How does the dining AMC

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Speaker 1: work between the three of you, because that's an odd pairing.

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Speaker 1: You know, two is different than three. So can you

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Speaker 1: speak a little bit about those dynamics? They were great

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Speaker 1: until I had a kid. Yeah, you made your bed.

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Speaker 1: You made your bed and now you need to lie

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Speaker 1: in it. I know it's really fucking hard. I thought

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Speaker 1: I was going to be exempt from like having feelings

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Speaker 1: and feeling obligated and having the guilt. It's all bullshit

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Speaker 1: and I thought I was going to be an exception

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Speaker 1: to the rule, and I'm not. However, up until six

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Speaker 1: months ago, we have a stellar dynamic because we don't

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Speaker 1: hold anything in. We let it out. We take nothing personally,

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Speaker 1: we trust each other. We all have very different things

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Speaker 1: that were really great at, and so we stay in

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Speaker 1: our lanes. Let's talk about that for a second, because

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Speaker 1: I think that's a really important thing to identify as

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Speaker 1: any person, but specifically for women. Like to identify your

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Speaker 1: attributes and your strength. So let's go around back and

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Speaker 1: you start like tell me what your strengths are. I'm

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Speaker 1: like the big picture person and I have you know,

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Speaker 1: Kelty says, if we need an idea, I'm really great

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Speaker 1: at figuring out what that is, and she's the executor.

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Speaker 1: So it's like I have these big dreams and Kelty

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Speaker 1: really does hit the pavement. She calls whoever needs to

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Speaker 1: be called. She doesn't take no for an answer. We

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Speaker 1: say that if Jack and I were doing this alone,

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Speaker 1: we'd still be sitting at the Cafe One oh one,

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Speaker 1: like mapping out the format of the podcast. Kelty gets

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Speaker 1: it done, and then Jack is this insane creative where

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Speaker 1: everything you look at, everything you touch, all the aesthetics

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Speaker 1: of the brand and really like the voice of the

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Speaker 1: brand comes from Jack, because her history is in creating it.

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Speaker 1: She has a clothing line. She was the original, like

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Speaker 1: the O g of the Sassy t shirt, where it

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Speaker 1: was like I'm Maria fucking sunshine, and then everybody ripped

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Speaker 1: her off. But that's her brain and it's crazy and

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Speaker 1: wild and works in mysterious ways, and that's sort of

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Speaker 1: like what we kind of fall under. Jack designed this

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Speaker 1: whole book, the cover, every single song, China wallpaper inside.

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Speaker 1: That's Vagina's hand drawn by Volva's keelty were learning and

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Speaker 1: BECCA's also. I will say like Becca's lane is an

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Speaker 1: our charity component. Like she's always like this is so great,

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Speaker 1: we can all clit our jobs, but like what are

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Speaker 1: we doing to help other women? And so, like she

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Speaker 1: always and I'm like wait, there's other women other than me.

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Speaker 1: I'm so I'm always just thinking about myself, like what,

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Speaker 1: I'm right here, there's seven of me. Yeah, no, without,

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Speaker 1: without Becca, it would be pretty soulless. would be honest,

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Speaker 1: like I'm just trying to scrape by and like be

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Speaker 1: able to pay my rent and a narcissist. So, like

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Speaker 1: without Becca, it would definitely be very in word. Yeah, so,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's a it's a good thing. It's a

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Speaker 1: good thing. Well, it's a great example, I think, for women.

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Speaker 1: You know, in dynamics, I mean you guys are a

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Speaker 1: lot younger than me, so you've grown up with a

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Speaker 1: little bit more, like a larger, broader breadth of how

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Speaker 1: important it is to help other women. But like when

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Speaker 1: I was growing up, like it was. It was like

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Speaker 1: women against women, and you're like no, no, it can

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Speaker 1: never be this way. You can't be pitting each other again,

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Speaker 1: like we have to collectively work together because we are

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Speaker 1: the most powerful people. So when you get into dynamics,

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Speaker 1: when there's two, three, four or five, six people, it's

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Speaker 1: so important to understand whose value stands where and to

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Speaker 1: respect that and to respect each other in like a

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Speaker 1: really thoughtful way in order to demonstrate for all of

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Speaker 1: these generations to come how important female partnership is. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and we got really lucky. Like back to the respect component, like,

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Speaker 1: above anything, we have such respect for each other and

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Speaker 1: we really, really do care for each other and we

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Speaker 1: got really lucky because we started this podcast, none of

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Speaker 1: us really knew each other that well and we're business

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Speaker 1: partners first, we're friends second, but that that we don't

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Speaker 1: that doesn't mean that we don't like, deeply, deeply care

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Speaker 1: for each other, but I think that there is such

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Speaker 1: a level of respect that we have for each other and,

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Speaker 1: like Becca said, we stay in our own lanes, like

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Speaker 1: we trust each other to do the things that we

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Speaker 1: do well, and we really because we're one of the

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Speaker 1: first women podcasts out there, like we kind of feel

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Speaker 1: like we have a responsibility to have as many seats

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Speaker 1: at the podcast table as we can and help other

424
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:10,879
Speaker 1: podcasters out. There's no secrets, like, if we found out

425
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:12,840
Speaker 1: that something works for us, we're going to share that

426
00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:16,080
Speaker 1: with somebody else, because we did enter a world where

427
00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:20,080
Speaker 1: it was the Autom corlas and that's it. So that's

428
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,560
Speaker 1: where we kind of felt where we can do our

429
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:24,159
Speaker 1: job to try to help other women out in the

430
00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:26,639
Speaker 1: same space as well. And the only difference when we

431
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,720
Speaker 1: go to Boise, we just split it three ways, which

432
00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:33,240
Speaker 1: is great. And how has your success with everything that

433
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:37,800
Speaker 1: you guys have accomplished impacted your personal lives individually? Well,

434
00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:40,639
Speaker 1: I used to be a desperate actress and I was

435
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:43,359
Speaker 1: waiting for the phone, touring and my identity was wrapped

436
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:45,520
Speaker 1: up in like the next TV show, the next job,

437
00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:49,280
Speaker 1: the red carpets. I was very I really wasn't fulfilled.

438
00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:50,959
Speaker 1: I was just sort of like I have to achieve,

439
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,560
Speaker 1: I have to achieve, I have to get picked, pick me.

440
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:56,439
Speaker 1: I didn't really know my worth outside of that world.

441
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:59,760
Speaker 1: And so building this thing where we show up twice

442
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:03,840
Speaker 1: a week as ourselves and having that be the thing

443
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:07,080
Speaker 1: where like the doors fly open, for me it's been

444
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:11,520
Speaker 1: something incredible for just my my self esteem, quite honestly,

445
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:14,600
Speaker 1: and just finding out who I am outside of that

446
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:18,199
Speaker 1: like weird actress, like caricature that I was playing for

447
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:22,399
Speaker 1: so many years. Right, that's powerful. I love it. What

448
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:24,760
Speaker 1: about you, Kelt? Well, for me I was a dancer

449
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:26,600
Speaker 1: in New York with with Becca. She beat me out

450
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:29,520
Speaker 1: like the competition thing. We actually actually started that way.

451
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:31,880
Speaker 1: BECCA is incredibly talented and I can't sing a lick

452
00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:33,880
Speaker 1: but pretend I can. So we would be in rooms

453
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:36,439
Speaker 1: auditioning for Broadway shows, which I never successfully did, and

454
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,679
Speaker 1: Beck would be like Momma, and then I would come

455
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:44,920
Speaker 1: in like yes, it's my turn here, Jerry. I had

456
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:47,080
Speaker 1: a beautiful at the time. I had a beautiful long

457
00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:49,000
Speaker 1: show girl body, so I'd always make it past the

458
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:50,919
Speaker 1: dance cut and then when we're saying it would be

459
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:53,679
Speaker 1: like everyone would be like please, God stop. But I

460
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:57,840
Speaker 1: thought she didn't stop her from Troy not the best.

461
00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:00,400
Speaker 1: I'm the best. I'm the best so anyway. But there

462
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:03,280
Speaker 1: was competition. But but for me, I I transitioned from

463
00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:05,479
Speaker 1: dancing to being a reporter and I worked at entertainment

464
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:09,280
Speaker 1: tonight and CBS for, you know, over a decade. and Um,

465
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:12,399
Speaker 1: I was doing this job because I saw the people

466
00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:14,320
Speaker 1: doing this job and I thought this is a great

467
00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:17,600
Speaker 1: job to have. This is so fancy and fabulous and glamorous. But, like,

468
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:19,720
Speaker 1: I went home every night my guts kind of hurt.

469
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,720
Speaker 1: Like my guts kind of hurt because that job is

470
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:24,840
Speaker 1: so amazing and so wonderful when you're at like the

471
00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,280
Speaker 1: Venice Film Festival or you're at the Oscars and it's

472
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:29,119
Speaker 1: like a celebration, but so much of that job is

473
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:31,320
Speaker 1: sitting down with people who you barely know and trying

474
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:33,639
Speaker 1: to get them to say and talk about something that

475
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:36,199
Speaker 1: they maybe don't want to talk about, and there's a

476
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:39,000
Speaker 1: lot of like back wiggling in that to get you

477
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:40,800
Speaker 1: to that point where we're like there's a there's a

478
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:43,639
Speaker 1: weird potion poll, and I was always kind of uncomfortable

479
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:46,720
Speaker 1: with that. And so when the podcast became so successful

480
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:48,199
Speaker 1: that I could walk away from that job, it was

481
00:23:48,359 --> 00:23:51,520
Speaker 1: very empowering. And then in the next six months I

482
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:53,920
Speaker 1: turned around and sold my dream show back to CBS

483
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:55,720
Speaker 1: that I just finished filming, and now with my own

484
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:58,520
Speaker 1: music show that I'm the host, executive producer and creator of,

485
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:01,080
Speaker 1: and a podcast and I don't have to ask anyone

486
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:05,880
Speaker 1: about their divorce. I love that story. What a great

487
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:09,639
Speaker 1: good congratulations. You fucking deserve that. It's weird because I

488
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:11,199
Speaker 1: was like no, this is it, this is number this

489
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:13,040
Speaker 1: is the number one show, this is the number one job,

490
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:14,639
Speaker 1: like this is this is a highest step or going

491
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:16,080
Speaker 1: to get. And then when I walked away I was

492
00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:19,240
Speaker 1: so scared and life is way better now, like if

493
00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,320
Speaker 1: we want to go to Puerto Rico into our podcast

494
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:24,760
Speaker 1: for the beach next week, we can walk away. Is

495
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:27,640
Speaker 1: Very underrated. People don't understand how empowering that is when

496
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:30,800
Speaker 1: you walk away from something, you're not only inviting other things.

497
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:33,800
Speaker 1: Like there's an energetic force that is immeasurable that nobody

498
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:36,840
Speaker 1: takes seriously because it's energy and Karma, and people are like, well,

499
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:40,280
Speaker 1: how can you prove that? Easily? fucking Karma is provable,

500
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:42,920
Speaker 1: like it's happened, I've lived it, I've seen it happen

501
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:46,239
Speaker 1: to others, and when you walk away from something, you

502
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:49,639
Speaker 1: are saying I need more, and then more comes right away,

503
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:53,800
Speaker 1: and that is indisputable. I would argue. What about you, Jack? So,

504
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:56,480
Speaker 1: I came from a completely different world than them. I

505
00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:58,800
Speaker 1: started a clothing line when I was in college and

506
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:00,920
Speaker 1: I had kind of just been walking to the beat

507
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:04,240
Speaker 1: of my own drum for a decade, having my own brand,

508
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:06,680
Speaker 1: doing my own thing by myself. So with the leading

509
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:08,280
Speaker 1: gang it was the first time that I was ever

510
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:11,720
Speaker 1: kind of working with other people, as you know, equals

511
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 1: and as peers, not as somebody's boss, and it kind

512
00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:18,080
Speaker 1: of gave me purpose for the first time, and especially

513
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:21,199
Speaker 1: once our podcast started taking legs and we started building

514
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:25,080
Speaker 1: this community. We're actually affecting women's lives for the first

515
00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:27,919
Speaker 1: time and we're getting this feedback and our mantra has

516
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:29,919
Speaker 1: always been to make other women feel less alone. We're

517
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 1: not curing cancer or anything, but if we can kind of,

518
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,879
Speaker 1: you know, offer a friendship up to our listeners or,

519
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:38,080
Speaker 1: you know, a piece of advice kind of changed their

520
00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:41,080
Speaker 1: perspective on something. Those little things or what kind of

521
00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:43,120
Speaker 1: started fulfilling me with the leading game that I wasn't

522
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:46,560
Speaker 1: getting from selling Sassy t shirts on my website. So

523
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:48,680
Speaker 1: that's kind of where I started taking value from the

524
00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:51,040
Speaker 1: leading gang when we first started. It all started with

525
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,960
Speaker 1: the snail trail and it's been seven years of sharing

526
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,880
Speaker 1: everything so you don't feel so bad about your vaginal discharge.

527
00:25:57,640 --> 00:25:59,560
Speaker 1: There's a shocking amount of women out there who don't

528
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:02,560
Speaker 1: understand and we who don't understand that's certain underwear you

529
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:05,800
Speaker 1: just have to throw away well, and it's like people,

530
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:08,320
Speaker 1: women or girls, are like it's something wrong with me.

531
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:15,359
Speaker 1: I know. I mean, Oh God, I know. I wish

532
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:18,360
Speaker 1: women understood that. It's so gross, though. It's so embarrassing

533
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:21,920
Speaker 1: to have. I can't understand women that don't wear underwear.

534
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,600
Speaker 1: It's like I need something to catch whatever, because it

535
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:27,040
Speaker 1: is coming out of my Pikachu and there's stuff coming out.

536
00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:29,280
Speaker 1: I see it about. You know, one week out of

537
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:32,280
Speaker 1: a month and I would like come catcher. I don't

538
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:35,159
Speaker 1: want that freestyling. When people say they don't want to underwear.

539
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,320
Speaker 1: I'm like, where are you doing with your jeans? fucking

540
00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:40,440
Speaker 1: sending it to the fucking dry cleaner. Okay, girls, we're

541
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:43,880
Speaker 1: gonna take colors and letters and we're gonna give real

542
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:48,439
Speaker 1: life advice. You guys ready? Yes, Katherine, what do we

543
00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:51,040
Speaker 1: have in store for today? Oh my goodness, we have

544
00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:55,720
Speaker 1: some vagina stuff. We've got some really tough stuff, we've

545
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:59,280
Speaker 1: got some WTF stuff. It's gonna be very fun. Okay,

546
00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:04,960
Speaker 1: we're gonna name this episode come catcher. I'm going to

547
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:11,320
Speaker 1: take a break and we will be right back. And

548
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:15,000
Speaker 1: we're back. Fabulous, we're back with the Lady Gang. Everybody,

549
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:17,280
Speaker 1: we're back with the Lady Gang, all three of the

550
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 1: girls and Catherine and myself. All Right, are you ready?

551
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:27,959
Speaker 1: Our first email comes from Brittany. Brittany says, Dear Chelsea,

552
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:30,520
Speaker 1: I wanted to write in about my relationship with my

553
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:33,119
Speaker 1: boyfriend of three years. I love the man and his

554
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:36,119
Speaker 1: two children very much. However, there are several things that

555
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:39,159
Speaker 1: concern me about the future of our relationship. Let me

556
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:41,680
Speaker 1: start out by saying that my boyfriend lost his long

557
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:45,439
Speaker 1: term wife to cancer about seven years ago. I'm the

558
00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:48,920
Speaker 1: first serious girlfriend since the wife passed. The dynamic is

559
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:52,080
Speaker 1: a really strange one. My boyfriend is a successful physician

560
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:54,560
Speaker 1: with an amazing heart. When it's just the two of us,

561
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:58,480
Speaker 1: we get along fabulously. That being said, his home stresses

562
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:01,800
Speaker 1: me the funk out. He still has the deceased wife's

563
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:05,080
Speaker 1: belongings just as they were before she passed. There's even

564
00:28:05,119 --> 00:28:08,040
Speaker 1: still a mirror up in the house that has quote cancer.

565
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:11,320
Speaker 1: You will not defeat me written in her lipstick. I

566
00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:13,840
Speaker 1: have voiced my concerns about the wife's stuff still being

567
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:16,679
Speaker 1: present and he's slowly working on moving her belongings to

568
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:20,600
Speaker 1: the basement. There's also the nanny. She's been with the

569
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:22,880
Speaker 1: family for four and a half years and has really

570
00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:25,600
Speaker 1: given a sense of consistency to the boys. The boys

571
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:27,960
Speaker 1: are sixteen and thirteen and still very much in need

572
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 1: of a little bit of help. The older son struggles

573
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 1: with behavioral issues, among other things. That being said, the

574
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:37,440
Speaker 1: nanny drives my boyfriend's Van, lives in an attached apartment

575
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:40,920
Speaker 1: for free and makes seriously good money. While I respect

576
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:43,480
Speaker 1: her relationship with the boys. I can't help but feel

577
00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:46,440
Speaker 1: taken advantage of. The nanny often goes out of town

578
00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 1: and I'm left to fill in for her without the pay.

579
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,920
Speaker 1: Often watches her boyfriend's children while watching my boyfriend's kids

580
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:55,440
Speaker 1: on the clock, and will even drop off her dog

581
00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:58,440
Speaker 1: for us to watch over the weekend. The employer employee

582
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:01,680
Speaker 1: lines have definitely been blurred. Oftentimes I'll get to the

583
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:04,160
Speaker 1: house and there's no food or the laundry isn't done.

584
00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:06,840
Speaker 1: I've had it out with both the nanny and my boyfriend.

585
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:09,200
Speaker 1: My boyfriend states that he needs the nanny a little

586
00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:12,000
Speaker 1: bit longer and he's scared to lose her. At what

587
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:14,360
Speaker 1: point do I give up this insanity? or Am I

588
00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:17,920
Speaker 1: being too impatient? I recently moved back into my parents

589
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,560
Speaker 1: house and they weren't living together. She was living somewhere else.

590
00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:23,720
Speaker 1: It was beyond upsetting that my boyfriend didn't invite me

591
00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:25,960
Speaker 1: to move in and allows the nanny to drive his

592
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:28,680
Speaker 1: extra car, not just for work, she uses it for

593
00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:32,480
Speaker 1: personal errands. I love this man and wanted to work Brittany.

594
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:36,400
Speaker 1: Oh God, there's a lot to unpack. Oh that is

595
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:41,960
Speaker 1: haired so unhealthy. Oh and so hard, hard, hard, because

596
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:45,360
Speaker 1: when you love someone, you want anything to work. I'll

597
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:47,920
Speaker 1: go for oust girls, and then you guys, please jump

598
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:51,800
Speaker 1: in collectively. I just think that women are really bad

599
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:54,200
Speaker 1: at setting boundaries just because of the way that we've

600
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:57,520
Speaker 1: all been raised and we just learned about boundaries like

601
00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:02,600
Speaker 1: a month ago and we were just bad at setting them.

602
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:07,040
Speaker 1: And until you set boundaries and standards, no one will

603
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:10,560
Speaker 1: meet them. So like, somebody will take as much from

604
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:12,560
Speaker 1: you as they can. And that's not to say that

605
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:15,360
Speaker 1: your lover or boyfriend is a bad person. He's not.

606
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:19,440
Speaker 1: He's just in a situation where he's being taken advantage

607
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 1: of by the nanny and he's also letting her take

608
00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 1: advantage of you. And that dynamic because you've allowed it.

609
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:31,800
Speaker 1: The simplest thing is that you have allowed this and

610
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 1: as soon as you stop allowing it, it will stop happening,

611
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:39,040
Speaker 1: and if it doesn't, then that's, you know, a different conversation.

612
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:42,280
Speaker 1: But I still think there's hope. You have to literally

613
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:45,800
Speaker 1: sit down with him, and if it's with a third party,

614
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 1: even better, like it's better to have somebody else kind

615
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:51,520
Speaker 1: of comments on the situation. If you can go to

616
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:54,480
Speaker 1: a couple's counselor if you can afford that. That would

617
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:57,200
Speaker 1: be really beneficial to just lay the groundwork and saying, like,

618
00:30:57,320 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 1: I'm no longer comfortable with the way things are working.

619
00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:02,959
Speaker 1: I understand the situation I'm getting into, but now I

620
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:05,200
Speaker 1: feel taken advantage of and I'm trying to be in

621
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:08,600
Speaker 1: addition to this situation, not be a subtraction and not

622
00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:11,960
Speaker 1: be subtracted from, and I think it's worth a conversation.

623
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 1: If you could do that with a third party, Great.

624
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:16,240
Speaker 1: If you can't, I think you should really write down

625
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:19,680
Speaker 1: your thoughts, get it together for a conversation with him

626
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:22,480
Speaker 1: to state what your boundaries are in the state kind

627
00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:25,160
Speaker 1: of what's going on with this nanny, which is you

628
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:27,719
Speaker 1: know that's great that she's filling in a void, but

629
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:30,600
Speaker 1: it's kind of feels like your voids are crossing over

630
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:34,720
Speaker 1: each other. You're both feeling a role. That is counter productive.

631
00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:38,560
Speaker 1: I think you really have to say what you need

632
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:43,280
Speaker 1: and give the person an opportunity to meet you and

633
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 1: if you can't, then there you go. Then that sucks

634
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:47,920
Speaker 1: and I understand you love him. I just left a

635
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:51,560
Speaker 1: relationship where I loved somebody but the standards were not

636
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:54,240
Speaker 1: at my level. I'm not accepting anything less than what

637
00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:58,280
Speaker 1: I know I deserve not doing it. So you have

638
00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:00,280
Speaker 1: to have a conversation with yourself and you have to

639
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:02,880
Speaker 1: have a conversation with him and then give him an

640
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 1: opportunity and if he doesn't meet you, then that's your answer.

641
00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:09,600
Speaker 1: What do you girls think? I was going to lean

642
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:11,520
Speaker 1: Intobecca for this because you've sort of been through a

643
00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:14,800
Speaker 1: similar situation where you're in a new relationship after losing someone.

644
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:17,440
Speaker 1: So I was going to throw it to you BECCA. Well,

645
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 1: I'm glad you've covered boundaries, because I still don't have those,

646
00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:22,800
Speaker 1: so I can't tell you anything about that. But I

647
00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:25,280
Speaker 1: can't tell you as somebody, I did lose my boyfriend

648
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:28,120
Speaker 1: that I was living with seven years ago. Wow, see,

649
00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:31,880
Speaker 1: it's like crazy, and I actually started dating my husband

650
00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:36,040
Speaker 1: pretty shortly after that. But the only reason that we

651
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:39,800
Speaker 1: were able to have a healthy relationship was where there

652
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:43,440
Speaker 1: were two things. I was in deep grief therapy like

653
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 1: and if your if your partners, not doing that, then

654
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:50,640
Speaker 1: I think that's kind of for me that that would

655
00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:53,680
Speaker 1: be like a red flag and maybe even a not

656
00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:56,680
Speaker 1: not worth you being in that relationship if he's not

657
00:32:56,720 --> 00:33:00,600
Speaker 1: working on that part of this whole equation. So grief

658
00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:02,680
Speaker 1: therapy for me. And then the other part was, and

659
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:05,760
Speaker 1: I'm sure you're really wonderful at this, but my husband

660
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:10,080
Speaker 1: had a sense of security about him, about us, that

661
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:14,959
Speaker 1: was so strong and I never felt that he was

662
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:18,720
Speaker 1: trying to compete with my dead boyfriend. I never felt

663
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:22,600
Speaker 1: like he felt threatened from what came before him. But

664
00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:25,280
Speaker 1: I did the work to make him comfortable. I cleared

665
00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:29,080
Speaker 1: out the closet, I didn't keep things around that we're mats.

666
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:33,200
Speaker 1: I I really did the work, and so that equation

667
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:36,960
Speaker 1: was the most perfect thing. So if you're feeling insecure

668
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:41,520
Speaker 1: and the wife's things are around the house, it's okay. Too.

669
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:48,240
Speaker 1: Gently mentioned that making you feel uncomfortable. But he's not

670
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:50,560
Speaker 1: going to just do that. He has to have help.

671
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:52,920
Speaker 1: He's obviously holding onto something and a lot of men

672
00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:58,440
Speaker 1: really struggle with loss. So yeah, I just therapy aspect

673
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:00,920
Speaker 1: of it. And also those boys lost their mom and

674
00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:04,280
Speaker 1: you can never forget that. You can never, ever, ever

675
00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:07,560
Speaker 1: forget as like Shitty as those kids can probably be

676
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:11,400
Speaker 1: and how bad the behavior can be. Just hold firm,

677
00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:14,839
Speaker 1: remember that you're just there to support and try not

678
00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:16,920
Speaker 1: to take it personally, because it really isn't about you.

679
00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:18,920
Speaker 1: It's not about you, and I want to just piggyback

680
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:20,960
Speaker 1: on that. Like, you know, women are so much better

681
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,360
Speaker 1: at talk therapy than men are, just by our nature,

682
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:25,480
Speaker 1: you know, we're more emotional, we're more in touch with

683
00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:29,000
Speaker 1: our emotions, we have more of a vocabulary to articulate

684
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,960
Speaker 1: our pain, and I really believe you can keep someone's

685
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:34,200
Speaker 1: memory alive for a really long time, which is exactly

686
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:35,960
Speaker 1: what those boys should be doing for their mother, and

687
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,200
Speaker 1: you can be a conduit for that, like you can

688
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:40,360
Speaker 1: be like, tell me about your mom. What's your favorite,

689
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:43,239
Speaker 1: you know, favorite memory? What did she do? And and

690
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:46,000
Speaker 1: that's a way to honor her without having a room

691
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:48,880
Speaker 1: shrouded around her like. Yes, of course he doesn't have

692
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:51,239
Speaker 1: to throw her things away or anything dramatic like that,

693
00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:53,759
Speaker 1: but to have a room dedicated to her after all

694
00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:56,759
Speaker 1: this time is also not healthy. But you can keep

695
00:34:57,360 --> 00:34:59,360
Speaker 1: it's it's almost like you can feel the void that

696
00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:02,919
Speaker 1: is there, with other ways to talk about it, with

697
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:06,120
Speaker 1: the kids, with your husband, to keep her memory alive

698
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:08,759
Speaker 1: out of respect, because she did exist and she did

699
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:13,439
Speaker 1: create these people and that's valuable and and she died. So,

700
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:17,480
Speaker 1: like it's important for you to present yourself with somebody

701
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:19,880
Speaker 1: who is a conduit to that energy rather than a

702
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:23,960
Speaker 1: blockade to that energy. I think also, you know, being

703
00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:26,120
Speaker 1: in a relationship with anybody that has kids from a

704
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:29,319
Speaker 1: previous relationship, like they're always going to come first. So

705
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:31,160
Speaker 1: a lot of the decisions that he may or may

706
00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 1: not be making are hopefully with them in mind. So

707
00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:36,880
Speaker 1: it's you kind of have to take yourself out of

708
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:39,640
Speaker 1: the equation, not out of the equation, but like out

709
00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:41,359
Speaker 1: of your own head and look at things a little

710
00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:45,400
Speaker 1: bit objectively sometimes as well, because when you're taking everything

711
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:50,440
Speaker 1: so personally, his number one goal is probably hopefully to

712
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:55,120
Speaker 1: make sure those kids are still supported and raised well and,

713
00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:57,480
Speaker 1: you know, still have a connection to their mother. So

714
00:35:57,520 --> 00:36:00,040
Speaker 1: it's very complicated and there's so many different layers to it,

715
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:02,520
Speaker 1: but I think, keeping that in mind, it's hard when

716
00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:04,160
Speaker 1: you don't have kids of your own, or did chiff

717
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:07,399
Speaker 1: kids of her own? No, Huh. Yeah, when you're kind

718
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:09,759
Speaker 1: of filling in for that like step mom, because you

719
00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:11,520
Speaker 1: want to act as a bridge. You don't want to

720
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:13,480
Speaker 1: be shut down and like I can't hear about her,

721
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:18,160
Speaker 1: that's immature. Like you have to acknowledge other people's existence

722
00:36:18,239 --> 00:36:21,200
Speaker 1: and acknowledge the reason that you're there, and I think

723
00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:24,960
Speaker 1: being kind of like a kindle in a sense and

724
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:28,800
Speaker 1: a bridge is way more valuable, and that, especially little children,

725
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:31,439
Speaker 1: the imprint that you make on their brains. You really

726
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:34,320
Speaker 1: don't know about that until years later, but you're making

727
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:37,000
Speaker 1: an imprint and it should be like the most positive,

728
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:40,960
Speaker 1: good vibe one that you can make. Yeah, just to

729
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:44,200
Speaker 1: take a slightly different tack the nanny stuff, I find

730
00:36:44,239 --> 00:36:47,359
Speaker 1: a little funky the fact that she's talking about this

731
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:49,879
Speaker 1: person is getting paid for this work and I'm not.

732
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:52,440
Speaker 1: It makes me think, like my mom always, as you

733
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:54,920
Speaker 1: marry the family, whether or not the families in the picture,

734
00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:57,960
Speaker 1: you marry all the baggage that comes with that. So, like,

735
00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:00,520
Speaker 1: if she's not ready to take on like the fact

736
00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:02,520
Speaker 1: that this family needs to have somebody else in their

737
00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:05,640
Speaker 1: life to help with the behavioral issues or whatever, then

738
00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:08,359
Speaker 1: it maybe isn't a right fit. Yeah, you're totally right.

739
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:14,720
Speaker 1: Hard well, Brittany, keep us posted on what happens. Yeah, Brittany,

740
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:22,560
Speaker 1: keep in touch and let us know how it progresses. Okay. Well,

741
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:27,600
Speaker 1: our next question comes from Marjorie. Marjorie says I'm a

742
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:30,320
Speaker 1: forty four year old. Says Gender Woman, I've been married

743
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:33,120
Speaker 1: for from almost ten years to an amazing and supportive partner.

744
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:36,200
Speaker 1: I'm a business owner with six contractors working for me.

745
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:37,920
Speaker 1: It's a lot of work, but I love what I

746
00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:41,240
Speaker 1: do and I'm successful. We have wonderful families and strong

747
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:43,960
Speaker 1: relationships with our friends. The part of our life that

748
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,439
Speaker 1: has been difficult and painful has been trying to start

749
00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:50,320
Speaker 1: a family. I've had multiple miscarriages over an eight year period.

750
00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:53,840
Speaker 1: I saw consults from four different fertility clinics, which included

751
00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:58,719
Speaker 1: medicated cycles, I U Y, I v F, acupuncture, raiky therapy,

752
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:03,000
Speaker 1: functional nutrition, Netic Testing, fertility coaching, you name it, I've

753
00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:06,319
Speaker 1: probably tried it. Our marriage suffered during these years as

754
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:09,600
Speaker 1: my depression and anxiety took me over. Now we're in

755
00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:11,960
Speaker 1: a place where we are reimagining our lives as a

756
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:15,200
Speaker 1: childless couple. This has been particularly painful for me, but

757
00:38:15,239 --> 00:38:16,880
Speaker 1: I do feel I'm on the other side of the

758
00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:19,839
Speaker 1: darkest parts of it. I'm now on medication. I see

759
00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:24,160
Speaker 1: an amazing therapist weekly, Meditate, exercise, Journal and generally practice

760
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:26,920
Speaker 1: self care in a way I've never done before, and

761
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:29,960
Speaker 1: it works. I feel better overall and I'm seeing a

762
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 1: life without children that no longer frightens me. Although it's

763
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:36,560
Speaker 1: still painful, it's less painful than continuing to try. Over time,

764
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:38,920
Speaker 1: I've come to realize that adoption doesn't feel right for me.

765
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:42,200
Speaker 1: We talk about fostering someday and are both on board

766
00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:45,440
Speaker 1: with giving back to kids that need a home and love. However,

767
00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:48,200
Speaker 1: we need more time to strengthen our relationship before welcoming

768
00:38:48,239 --> 00:38:50,920
Speaker 1: foster children into our home. As you can imagine, the

769
00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:53,239
Speaker 1: years of infertility have taken a toll, and in order

770
00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:55,160
Speaker 1: to be good foster parents, we need to work on

771
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:58,719
Speaker 1: ourselves first. The advice I'm seeking is how to continue

772
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:01,319
Speaker 1: to bolster a positive, really fationship with myself now that

773
00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:03,560
Speaker 1: my purpose in life, to be a mom, has been altered.

774
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:05,919
Speaker 1: I know you never wanted kids and so you can't

775
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:08,759
Speaker 1: identify with some of this. However, I identify with you

776
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:11,520
Speaker 1: and your choice to be childless because, more than anything,

777
00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:14,040
Speaker 1: I want to feel like it is my choice. I'm

778
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:16,560
Speaker 1: an awesome, cool aunt and I spend as much time

779
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:18,960
Speaker 1: as I can with my twelve year old niece. I'm

780
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:21,120
Speaker 1: planning to give my fifteen year old nephew my car

781
00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:23,520
Speaker 1: when he gets his license next year, just because I

782
00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:25,719
Speaker 1: can I have plenty of money and will be able

783
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:28,520
Speaker 1: to retire early. I travel to see friends whenever I want.

784
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:30,760
Speaker 1: On my lunch break, I cozy up on my couch

785
00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:33,280
Speaker 1: and read a good book. And while this is all good,

786
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:37,240
Speaker 1: I still feel the pain every day and maybe always will. Chelsea,

787
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:39,600
Speaker 1: any advice or ideas that will help me continue to

788
00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:48,719
Speaker 1: grow in this new lifestyle I'm creating? Thanks in advance. Marjorie. Hi, Marjorie, hello, hi, Marjorie, hi.

789
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:52,440
Speaker 1: We have all the girls here from Lady Gang Today. Yes, Wonderful,

790
00:39:52,560 --> 00:39:55,040
Speaker 1: nice to meet you all well. Thank you for writing

791
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:57,640
Speaker 1: in about that. You're right, I don't want children, but

792
00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:00,160
Speaker 1: I can relate to the struggle of wanting something not

793
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:02,799
Speaker 1: being able to get it. So I want to say

794
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:04,680
Speaker 1: a couple of things to you before the other girls

795
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:06,680
Speaker 1: pipe in, just off the top of my head. I

796
00:40:06,719 --> 00:40:09,080
Speaker 1: have a very close person in my life who recently

797
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:13,880
Speaker 1: fostered a child to adopt, and she's too, and it

798
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:16,600
Speaker 1: is probably the most rewarding thing I've ever seen happen

799
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:21,440
Speaker 1: to anyone I know. So that is always something to pursue,

800
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:25,280
Speaker 1: because you are taking somebody that has been given away

801
00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:28,880
Speaker 1: and loving them. So I understand and respect the idea

802
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:31,920
Speaker 1: of you wanting to repair your relationship to where you

803
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:35,520
Speaker 1: see it's fit enough to bring that person, because I

804
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:38,600
Speaker 1: I am definitely a proponent of I don't believe when

805
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:40,840
Speaker 1: people are like we're gonna have a baby and fix everything.

806
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:44,400
Speaker 1: That's not the right and getting married doesn't fix everything

807
00:40:44,440 --> 00:40:47,359
Speaker 1: and all of that. But it's really positive that you're

808
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:49,680
Speaker 1: this in touch with yourself and you're this self aware,

809
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:53,160
Speaker 1: like a lot of people are not. What I would

810
00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:55,560
Speaker 1: like to say to you, though, on a personal front,

811
00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 1: is I have so much availability for not only my

812
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:01,799
Speaker 1: nieces and nephew, kind of like you mentioned, you know,

813
00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:05,560
Speaker 1: in your letter, but for other children in the world

814
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:07,759
Speaker 1: because I don't have my own, because if I had

815
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:10,880
Speaker 1: my own, it would be all about them. And I

816
00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:13,640
Speaker 1: I look at it like, because I don't have my

817
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:17,759
Speaker 1: own children, I'm able to send strangers to college, you

818
00:41:17,760 --> 00:41:19,520
Speaker 1: know what I mean. I'm able to support people that

819
00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:21,840
Speaker 1: I'll never meet, kids that I'll never meet, in countries

820
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:25,000
Speaker 1: that will never even probably visit, but I'm able to

821
00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:28,200
Speaker 1: give so much because I don't have my own family

822
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:32,160
Speaker 1: and to me, that is my purpose. I would be

823
00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:34,680
Speaker 1: a shitty mother, I would be selfish, I would want

824
00:41:34,719 --> 00:41:37,319
Speaker 1: everything to be great for my kid and forget about

825
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:39,600
Speaker 1: all the other kids in the world, when I think

826
00:41:39,719 --> 00:41:42,920
Speaker 1: some of our responsibilities lie in taking care of the world,

827
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:44,839
Speaker 1: like that's the way it's supposed to be. Not just

828
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:48,440
Speaker 1: your kid, everybody's kid, and you're in a position to

829
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:51,719
Speaker 1: do just that. So, instead of thinking if this is

830
00:41:51,719 --> 00:41:55,880
Speaker 1: like something that has limited you, it's a huge opportunity

831
00:41:55,960 --> 00:42:00,040
Speaker 1: for expansion, and I get that and I appreciate that.

832
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:03,120
Speaker 1: That is actually a point that I've been working with

833
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:07,000
Speaker 1: my therapist on for a long time, because it's hard

834
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:11,279
Speaker 1: to see past what you don't have and the infertility

835
00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:14,160
Speaker 1: and the miscarriages and everything. It just sort of it

836
00:42:14,239 --> 00:42:17,120
Speaker 1: just broke me down to a point of just I

837
00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:19,120
Speaker 1: didn't know who I was for a long time and

838
00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:21,839
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to figure that out again. And so

839
00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:24,480
Speaker 1: I've I've always very much identified with a lot of

840
00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:27,120
Speaker 1: what you say around kids. I mean, obviously you don't

841
00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:30,520
Speaker 1: want any, but just it's a safe space. You know,

842
00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:33,000
Speaker 1: I really enjoyed listening to your podcast because I never

843
00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:36,640
Speaker 1: have to worry because everything is a trigger when you've

844
00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:40,280
Speaker 1: kind of been through the ringer in that way. Yeah,

845
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:42,799
Speaker 1: and I think the most important thing to remember is

846
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:46,400
Speaker 1: to accept your lot. Right. Okay, so it's been a

847
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:49,280
Speaker 1: struggle for you to become a mother, so stop, stop

848
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:51,040
Speaker 1: trying to do it the way that you think it

849
00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:54,000
Speaker 1: has to be done. Look at the other ways. There

850
00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:57,480
Speaker 1: are millions of other ways to accomplish the love that

851
00:42:57,560 --> 00:42:59,880
Speaker 1: you want to feel between you and a kid without

852
00:43:00,280 --> 00:43:04,040
Speaker 1: being a biological mother. Like that is a limiting, narrow

853
00:43:04,120 --> 00:43:07,920
Speaker 1: minded view that you're stuck to because it's your experience

854
00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:10,480
Speaker 1: and you wanted something that you didn't get. But what

855
00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:13,600
Speaker 1: will evolve your soul is to let go of that

856
00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:16,719
Speaker 1: and to say how now? How can I help more people? Now?

857
00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:19,279
Speaker 1: Let me look into fostering and if that's too much

858
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:22,120
Speaker 1: of an onus for you, totally fine. But you can

859
00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:25,279
Speaker 1: go volunteer, you know, at the Y W you know

860
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:27,680
Speaker 1: c a or the Y M C A or any

861
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:30,600
Speaker 1: of these you know organizations, or you can you know,

862
00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:32,920
Speaker 1: you could be a big sister, you could be a

863
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:35,680
Speaker 1: great aunt, you could do there's just so many avenues

864
00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:39,640
Speaker 1: where you can give so much and you have to

865
00:43:39,640 --> 00:43:42,440
Speaker 1: look at it as like, Oh, I'm now in a

866
00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:44,720
Speaker 1: position where I can give more to so many others

867
00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:46,720
Speaker 1: than I would have been able to give to one person.

868
00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:50,520
Speaker 1: Right you're in this situation like, stop resisting. What happened?

869
00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:53,400
Speaker 1: So you weren't meant to have a baby biologically. Maybe

870
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:55,399
Speaker 1: you know that's not the end of the world. Look

871
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:57,759
Speaker 1: at you. You're beautiful, you're thriving, you're healthy, you have

872
00:43:57,800 --> 00:44:01,000
Speaker 1: a husband, you're working on your relationship, you have self awareness,

873
00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:02,920
Speaker 1: you know you want to give out love. These are

874
00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:06,799
Speaker 1: all beautiful things. It's nothing to be sad about. This

875
00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:10,360
Speaker 1: is true. I'm connecting with that more in the past

876
00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:14,680
Speaker 1: few months and things don't look as bleak, but even

877
00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:18,480
Speaker 1: just getting there has been really difficult and it's obviously

878
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:21,759
Speaker 1: up and down, and so I can appreciate I can

879
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:25,120
Speaker 1: appreciate that. Yeah, girls, what do you guys have to

880
00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:28,280
Speaker 1: say about this? What do you think? Hi, Marjorie Rebecca.

881
00:44:28,719 --> 00:44:32,399
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for this, because I also went

882
00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:37,200
Speaker 1: through five years of fertility hell and I know exactly

883
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:40,120
Speaker 1: what you're feeling and what you're going through and it's

884
00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:45,080
Speaker 1: so hard to not feel like you've failed every single time.

885
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:47,520
Speaker 1: And there's so much, not even just the energy and

886
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:52,000
Speaker 1: the stress on the relationship. Financially, it is so insane

887
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:55,200
Speaker 1: the amount of money that you put into this and

888
00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:58,480
Speaker 1: to have it not turn out the way that you envisioned.

889
00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:03,440
Speaker 1: It's a heartbreak. You're grieving and I think what Chelsea

890
00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:06,520
Speaker 1: said is amazing and incredible and she's a much better

891
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:11,080
Speaker 1: human than most people will ever be, because most of

892
00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:12,879
Speaker 1: us are just narcissists and we just want to keep

893
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:15,160
Speaker 1: trying and keep trying to like make our little spawn.

894
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:20,520
Speaker 1: And I get that poll too, and I was sitting

895
00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:21,719
Speaker 1: here and I'm like, do I say this thing or

896
00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:23,719
Speaker 1: do I not say this thing, because it's it could

897
00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:26,719
Speaker 1: be received in a way that you're not wanting or

898
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:30,560
Speaker 1: sounds selfish, but I have a friend who went through

899
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:34,160
Speaker 1: exactly kind of what you have gone through. Just kept

900
00:45:34,239 --> 00:45:36,600
Speaker 1: hitting the roadblock and kept hitting the roadblock and she

901
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:38,640
Speaker 1: got to a place where she tried really hard to

902
00:45:38,719 --> 00:45:42,000
Speaker 1: soul search and think, what does life look like without

903
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:45,080
Speaker 1: this baby, and she she wasn't ready and she didn't

904
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:51,279
Speaker 1: want that and she actually used a donor egg from

905
00:45:51,320 --> 00:45:53,560
Speaker 1: an agency. And that's a thing that a lot of

906
00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:56,000
Speaker 1: straight couples are doing. They just don't talk about it

907
00:45:56,560 --> 00:45:59,680
Speaker 1: and my friends actually own an agency. It's called elevate baby,

908
00:46:00,239 --> 00:46:03,080
Speaker 1: and I was like, well, who uses donor eggs? You

909
00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:04,919
Speaker 1: know and they're like, oh, it's not just two men,

910
00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:07,800
Speaker 1: it's a lot of women who have spent their lives

911
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:10,200
Speaker 1: building their careers and they aren't necessarily thinking of their

912
00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:13,160
Speaker 1: eggs not being viable when they want to use them.

913
00:46:13,200 --> 00:46:14,759
Speaker 1: So there are a lot of people that do this.

914
00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:17,120
Speaker 1: My friend just did this because she wanted to carry

915
00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:20,960
Speaker 1: a baby and that was what she did. Her baby's

916
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:25,000
Speaker 1: one and she's very, very everything that you imagine a

917
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:28,040
Speaker 1: new mother is. And I know that you know all

918
00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:29,840
Speaker 1: the options are out there, but I've seen it firsthand

919
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:31,520
Speaker 1: and it's like the way that I feel about my baby,

920
00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:33,960
Speaker 1: who is actually genetically mine, as far as I know.

921
00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:36,719
Speaker 1: She feels exactly the same way, and I know that

922
00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:39,279
Speaker 1: people feel this way about adoption and about fostering, but

923
00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:41,680
Speaker 1: I just I've seen it and so I had to

924
00:46:41,680 --> 00:46:43,759
Speaker 1: say it and take that for what it's worth. But

925
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:45,799
Speaker 1: I also think that what Chelsea said about if you

926
00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:48,120
Speaker 1: decide this is the end of your road for this journey,

927
00:46:48,160 --> 00:46:51,000
Speaker 1: like life can still be really beautiful and what you're

928
00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:54,160
Speaker 1: describing of your life is it sounds really magical, especially

929
00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:57,879
Speaker 1: to me right now. You can travel, you can see

930
00:46:57,920 --> 00:47:01,440
Speaker 1: friends and my life just became very myopic and it's

931
00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:04,600
Speaker 1: while it's wonderful, it's still, you know, it's a it's

932
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:08,800
Speaker 1: an adjustment. Yeah, we have explored some of those other options.

933
00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:12,719
Speaker 1: Talking about the financial, you know, piece of it, we

934
00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:16,640
Speaker 1: did all the paperwork for adoption, which was probably, you know,

935
00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:21,399
Speaker 1: ten grand in total, and it just didn't feel right.

936
00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:24,680
Speaker 1: Now I'm almost forty five and, you know, getting pregnant

937
00:47:24,680 --> 00:47:27,920
Speaker 1: has been a challenge over an eight year period, but

938
00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:31,719
Speaker 1: maintaining the pregnancy has, you know, even with eggs in

939
00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:36,560
Speaker 1: IBF that we knew were genetically normal, I still lost

940
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:40,200
Speaker 1: so the after that, the idea of a donor egg

941
00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:42,839
Speaker 1: just I mean that there's a it would have been

942
00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:46,799
Speaker 1: possible maybe, but less likely. And hear what you're saying.

943
00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:49,160
Speaker 1: Like I did reach that point about a year ago

944
00:47:49,239 --> 00:47:53,120
Speaker 1: after my list last miscarriage, where I knew I had

945
00:47:53,200 --> 00:47:58,280
Speaker 1: to stop, even though I didn't want to, and that

946
00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:01,839
Speaker 1: I'm still dealing with that, although it's getting better. It's,

947
00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:04,799
Speaker 1: you know, getting off the roller coaster, because I could

948
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:07,080
Speaker 1: have just kept going on and on and on and on.

949
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:10,400
Speaker 1: And so you know, that acceptance piece has been a

950
00:48:10,440 --> 00:48:12,879
Speaker 1: real challenge, although I know I need to and it's

951
00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:16,080
Speaker 1: getting easier. It's I don't know if I'll ever not

952
00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:19,200
Speaker 1: feel a loss, but I I do see more ways

953
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:22,520
Speaker 1: to fill that whole and spread them up. But you're

954
00:48:22,560 --> 00:48:25,600
Speaker 1: looking at something that's a loss. That's just not and

955
00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:27,600
Speaker 1: I don't want to this to sound harsh, because it's

956
00:48:27,600 --> 00:48:31,400
Speaker 1: going to. It's not your reality. Like, if it's this difficult,

957
00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:34,600
Speaker 1: then it's not meant to be and it's not a loss,

958
00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:38,040
Speaker 1: it's a game, because once you come across it and

959
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:41,600
Speaker 1: stop resisting the fact that you're up against something and

960
00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:45,080
Speaker 1: you come to the idea that, okay, this is another opportunity,

961
00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:48,239
Speaker 1: then me being not able to have children is an

962
00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:51,839
Speaker 1: opportunity to have children in a different way, and that's

963
00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:55,240
Speaker 1: what you need to accept, because when you resist something,

964
00:48:55,320 --> 00:48:57,799
Speaker 1: it persists and that thing that will will get in

965
00:48:57,840 --> 00:48:59,759
Speaker 1: your head and get your body and live in you,

966
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:04,280
Speaker 1: and it's your spiritual work that needs to happen now.

967
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:06,799
Speaker 1: All of the things you're doing that you said you're

968
00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:10,280
Speaker 1: doing are great. Keep doing them, have faith in yourself

969
00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:12,840
Speaker 1: and believe in yourself, and you're going to give gifts

970
00:49:12,920 --> 00:49:14,719
Speaker 1: to the world that you're not even aware of yet.

971
00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:16,560
Speaker 1: But you have to let go of the thing that

972
00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:19,200
Speaker 1: didn't work out for you. It didn't work out and

973
00:49:19,239 --> 00:49:23,200
Speaker 1: that's heartbreaking and I'm sorry, but there's so much more.

974
00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:26,080
Speaker 1: Once you become available and shut the door on that

975
00:49:26,239 --> 00:49:28,960
Speaker 1: and make peace with it, you're gonna find a whole

976
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:32,920
Speaker 1: new world that you're able to contribute and love children,

977
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:37,080
Speaker 1: and whether that's fostering or adopting or just being you

978
00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:40,279
Speaker 1: know somebody who who spends time with children, whatever it is,

979
00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:42,600
Speaker 1: you're going to find your way as long as you

980
00:49:42,640 --> 00:49:45,399
Speaker 1: make peace with what didn't work out. You can't hold

981
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:48,520
Speaker 1: onto things that don't work out. It's just it becomes

982
00:49:48,560 --> 00:49:50,880
Speaker 1: an energy that lives in you and then it directs

983
00:49:50,920 --> 00:49:53,440
Speaker 1: you and you don't want that to run you. True,

984
00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:57,040
Speaker 1: I I appreciate the harshness. I need more reality checking

985
00:49:57,040 --> 00:49:59,640
Speaker 1: because it's something I haven't I've only started talking more

986
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:02,719
Speaker 1: open lead to friends and family about because you know

987
00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:05,239
Speaker 1: the steep, dark secret and when you're in it you

988
00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:06,959
Speaker 1: just don't want to talk about it all. At least

989
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:10,600
Speaker 1: I didn't, and I know I'm hanging on. I'm still

990
00:50:10,640 --> 00:50:13,920
Speaker 1: hanging on in ways that are not serving me, not

991
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:17,000
Speaker 1: that they ever did, but I need to ramp up

992
00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:19,200
Speaker 1: some of my self care in a way to to

993
00:50:19,200 --> 00:50:21,520
Speaker 1: to fully let that go. I I agree with you.

994
00:50:21,840 --> 00:50:24,000
Speaker 1: Thank you, and I do appreciate that. I need to

995
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:27,239
Speaker 1: hear it in a in a harsh way, I think. Sometimes, yeah,

996
00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:30,000
Speaker 1: we just kind of get so stuck in our own psyche, right,

997
00:50:30,080 --> 00:50:32,400
Speaker 1: like we go around and around and around and around,

998
00:50:32,440 --> 00:50:34,880
Speaker 1: and then you realize you're a cyclone by yourself and

999
00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:37,279
Speaker 1: like the whole world is out there and as soon

1000
00:50:37,320 --> 00:50:38,600
Speaker 1: as you want to be a part of it, then

1001
00:50:38,640 --> 00:50:42,560
Speaker 1: you will be right. Marjorie, I want to say thank

1002
00:50:42,600 --> 00:50:45,480
Speaker 1: you so much for your beautiful letter and for being

1003
00:50:45,560 --> 00:50:48,080
Speaker 1: so open with us, because I think this is something

1004
00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:49,560
Speaker 1: that will help a lot of women who are going

1005
00:50:49,560 --> 00:50:52,799
Speaker 1: through exactly what you're going through and just don't want

1006
00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:55,239
Speaker 1: to talk about with friends or family, but hearing your

1007
00:50:55,239 --> 00:50:56,880
Speaker 1: story is going to be really helpful to a lot

1008
00:50:56,880 --> 00:50:59,279
Speaker 1: of absolutely, Marjorie. And also I would just say keep

1009
00:50:59,280 --> 00:51:01,359
Speaker 1: talking about it with everybody you know that you can,

1010
00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:05,040
Speaker 1: like there are no secrets, like keeping a secret is is.

1011
00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:08,920
Speaker 1: It makes everything a little bit more dysfunctional. It's so

1012
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:11,200
Speaker 1: much better to get it out and understand and then

1013
00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:12,840
Speaker 1: you're going to meet people that have been through the

1014
00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:16,200
Speaker 1: same exact thing and then you're gonna be able to

1015
00:51:16,200 --> 00:51:19,400
Speaker 1: help each other. Yeah, thank you, and that that's definitely

1016
00:51:19,440 --> 00:51:22,239
Speaker 1: part of the journey right now and just being more

1017
00:51:22,320 --> 00:51:24,600
Speaker 1: open and honest about it, which is another reason why

1018
00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:28,160
Speaker 1: I wrote in and was just so excited to share

1019
00:51:28,239 --> 00:51:31,880
Speaker 1: and talk to you and, you know, meet everyone. MM. Well,

1020
00:51:31,920 --> 00:51:33,760
Speaker 1: I'm so glad you did. Will You keep us posted

1021
00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:37,240
Speaker 1: and let us know what happens in your life? Of course,

1022
00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:40,480
Speaker 1: all right, we're sending you lots of love, lots of love.

1023
00:51:40,920 --> 00:51:44,600
Speaker 1: By Marjorie, by by, I'm going to become an in

1024
00:51:44,719 --> 00:51:47,400
Speaker 1: viture doctor. That's next on my list. I'm just gonna

1025
00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:50,960
Speaker 1: start making everybody pregnant who wants to be. It's so

1026
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:54,279
Speaker 1: fucking insane. It feels like a natural transition from what

1027
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:59,360
Speaker 1: I've been doing. You should thanks, very lucrative. I appreciate

1028
00:51:59,400 --> 00:52:04,520
Speaker 1: that kind of sport. Yea while, going from a very

1029
00:52:04,520 --> 00:52:08,880
Speaker 1: serious question into a less serious question, but impactful nonetheless.

1030
00:52:09,440 --> 00:52:12,880
Speaker 1: Jess says dear Chelsea, after years of promising myself I

1031
00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:15,600
Speaker 1: would do it, I'm finally getting laser hair removal my

1032
00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:19,080
Speaker 1: full legs, my arm pets, my bikini line. I'm pretty

1033
00:52:19,080 --> 00:52:21,120
Speaker 1: far along in the process on my legs and I

1034
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:24,280
Speaker 1: love it. I feel like a different person. Truly changes

1035
00:52:24,320 --> 00:52:27,719
Speaker 1: everything about my self, perception and confidence. I thought I

1036
00:52:27,760 --> 00:52:30,280
Speaker 1: was going to go full of Brazilian or something close,

1037
00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:32,839
Speaker 1: like a tiny triangle, but for some reason I never

1038
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:36,319
Speaker 1: arrived at my appointment fully prepped for that. Then I

1039
00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:38,440
Speaker 1: started to second guess if I really wanted to go

1040
00:52:38,520 --> 00:52:41,040
Speaker 1: for it. A Brazilian style has never been a regular

1041
00:52:41,040 --> 00:52:43,359
Speaker 1: part of my routine. Then, to top it all off,

1042
00:52:43,440 --> 00:52:45,359
Speaker 1: I saw a clip of you doing a bit about it,

1043
00:52:45,680 --> 00:52:47,560
Speaker 1: saying it was a mistake and now you're left with

1044
00:52:47,640 --> 00:52:50,439
Speaker 1: nothing but to get plugs. I know it was a joke,

1045
00:52:50,520 --> 00:52:52,359
Speaker 1: but I'm interested to know how you feel about it.

1046
00:52:52,480 --> 00:52:54,560
Speaker 1: I've got my next appointment coming up soon and I

1047
00:52:54,600 --> 00:52:56,560
Speaker 1: need to decide a sap if I'm going to go

1048
00:52:56,680 --> 00:53:01,719
Speaker 1: for the Brazilian Pikachu. Help Jess on this and then

1049
00:53:01,719 --> 00:53:05,480
Speaker 1: I'll follow up. Well, I'll start because I have a

1050
00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:11,200
Speaker 1: giant vagina, so I can really understand the pressures societally

1051
00:53:11,760 --> 00:53:14,280
Speaker 1: in the summer, with a bathing suit, with a Spank,

1052
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:17,120
Speaker 1: even with the gene these days, where your whole vagina

1053
00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:19,279
Speaker 1: can be flopping out the side of you, know, like

1054
00:53:19,320 --> 00:53:21,440
Speaker 1: it's a ball, and it's not. And so I have

1055
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:24,800
Speaker 1: lasered and I thought, this vagina is so much trouble

1056
00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:27,040
Speaker 1: that I just want no more trouble, and so I

1057
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:30,879
Speaker 1: did the full Brazilian and here's what they don't tell

1058
00:53:30,880 --> 00:53:32,719
Speaker 1: you about getting older is that if you have a

1059
00:53:32,719 --> 00:53:35,400
Speaker 1: little bit of a floppy vagina, it just becomes floppier

1060
00:53:35,440 --> 00:53:40,239
Speaker 1: as you age. And so I think in retrospect it

1061
00:53:40,360 --> 00:53:43,319
Speaker 1: would be nice to have a small crowd cover to

1062
00:53:43,440 --> 00:53:46,319
Speaker 1: cover up the flappy vagina lips in my elder years,

1063
00:53:46,360 --> 00:53:48,640
Speaker 1: which I don't have because in my twenties I also

1064
00:53:48,719 --> 00:53:52,120
Speaker 1: went crazy and now anything that's left I'm waxing. And

1065
00:53:52,200 --> 00:53:55,120
Speaker 1: so you know, I like an option just from someone

1066
00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:58,759
Speaker 1: with an old, long vagina. It's kind of like how

1067
00:53:58,880 --> 00:54:02,480
Speaker 1: men will hide some of their facial features behind a beard.

1068
00:54:02,640 --> 00:54:06,200
Speaker 1: You can kind of hide your floppy vagina behind a

1069
00:54:06,239 --> 00:54:09,279
Speaker 1: little bit of a Bush, but I like it. There

1070
00:54:09,280 --> 00:54:11,720
Speaker 1: are some men I will only date when they're bearded.

1071
00:54:12,880 --> 00:54:15,680
Speaker 1: Once a man with a beard, like a hot, hot guy,

1072
00:54:15,800 --> 00:54:18,960
Speaker 1: shaves his beard, I'm like, they look like a vagina. Actually,

1073
00:54:19,120 --> 00:54:21,000
Speaker 1: my friend's husband used to shave his beard. I'm like,

1074
00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:22,720
Speaker 1: you look like a vagina, I don't like it. Please,

1075
00:54:22,760 --> 00:54:26,480
Speaker 1: but throw your hair back. I don't like that. Yeah, Um,

1076
00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:29,239
Speaker 1: I think the option is nice. I mean, I did

1077
00:54:29,239 --> 00:54:31,239
Speaker 1: the same. I feel like we live in a generation

1078
00:54:31,320 --> 00:54:34,319
Speaker 1: where it was no hair on their vagina and then

1079
00:54:34,360 --> 00:54:38,919
Speaker 1: obviously trends change and you know whatever, but I am

1080
00:54:39,239 --> 00:54:42,080
Speaker 1: hairless down there because hair on my body it makes

1081
00:54:42,080 --> 00:54:45,000
Speaker 1: me itchy and it makes me feel uncomfortable. So I

1082
00:54:45,040 --> 00:54:48,279
Speaker 1: feel like, whatever you're gonna do, do what's gonna make

1083
00:54:48,320 --> 00:54:51,200
Speaker 1: you feel the most comfortable. I wouldn't worry about what,

1084
00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:54,560
Speaker 1: no offense with Chelsea is saying, or your boyfriends saying

1085
00:54:54,640 --> 00:54:57,680
Speaker 1: or whoever, like who it feels good on your body

1086
00:54:58,120 --> 00:55:00,280
Speaker 1: because you're never gonna see her a little tray all,

1087
00:55:00,320 --> 00:55:03,640
Speaker 1: you know, like so I don't know, I would just

1088
00:55:03,960 --> 00:55:06,279
Speaker 1: I get so itchy down there that I'm like, I'm

1089
00:55:06,360 --> 00:55:10,080
Speaker 1: I'm happy with my laser hair removal choices in my

1090
00:55:10,120 --> 00:55:12,839
Speaker 1: early twenties. At the end of this podcast we're all

1091
00:55:12,840 --> 00:55:15,600
Speaker 1: going to show very close up, three d photos of

1092
00:55:15,640 --> 00:55:19,480
Speaker 1: our vaginas and so everyone canna understand the different options

1093
00:55:19,480 --> 00:55:22,920
Speaker 1: that are available. I didn't. I didn't realize my vagina

1094
00:55:23,200 --> 00:55:25,520
Speaker 1: was not great until I was a show girl in

1095
00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:28,759
Speaker 1: Las Vegas and it's great, Kelty. Everybody's Vagina is great. No,

1096
00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:31,440
Speaker 1: it's Great Volva story, but we had a vagina off.

1097
00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:33,080
Speaker 1: There was sixteen girls in the cast and we all

1098
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:35,480
Speaker 1: stood naked beside each other and looked at each other's vaginas,

1099
00:55:35,480 --> 00:55:38,600
Speaker 1: which was very and there's some beautiful vaginas. Mine is not.

1100
00:55:39,239 --> 00:55:41,120
Speaker 1: I mean she's pretty. I love myself mine. It's not

1101
00:55:41,160 --> 00:55:42,839
Speaker 1: that cy too. But I would like to add on,

1102
00:55:42,880 --> 00:55:44,640
Speaker 1: like I got laser hair removal when I was in

1103
00:55:44,680 --> 00:55:48,120
Speaker 1: my twenties so I could swim faster, and then I

1104
00:55:48,200 --> 00:55:52,640
Speaker 1: realized as I grew older, like no man gives a

1105
00:55:52,760 --> 00:55:57,320
Speaker 1: fuck what your vagina it doesn't matter if it's flappy,

1106
00:55:57,520 --> 00:55:59,239
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter if you have been any or an

1107
00:55:59,239 --> 00:56:03,440
Speaker 1: Oudy or you hair on your asshole. They don't give

1108
00:56:03,680 --> 00:56:07,439
Speaker 1: a fuck. So whatever you're doing is for you. And

1109
00:56:07,680 --> 00:56:10,160
Speaker 1: I would say, like, I'm not in a bald beaver's

1110
00:56:10,239 --> 00:56:12,480
Speaker 1: like I find that to be very juvenile, like I

1111
00:56:12,520 --> 00:56:14,399
Speaker 1: don't want to look like a little girl. I want

1112
00:56:14,440 --> 00:56:19,080
Speaker 1: hair on my vagina. I would recommend laser in your asshole, though,

1113
00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:23,239
Speaker 1: because that's just nice, but don't bleach your asshole. My

1114
00:56:23,280 --> 00:56:25,400
Speaker 1: girlfriend the other day was like I have to bleach

1115
00:56:25,440 --> 00:56:27,960
Speaker 1: my asshole. She just got divorced she's on the market.

1116
00:56:28,040 --> 00:56:29,440
Speaker 1: She's like, I have to bleach my asshole now. I

1117
00:56:29,440 --> 00:56:31,160
Speaker 1: go no, no, you don't have to bleach your asshole.

1118
00:56:31,560 --> 00:56:33,719
Speaker 1: Just fucking laser it so there's not hair coming out

1119
00:56:33,719 --> 00:56:36,160
Speaker 1: of it. Only if somebody, if you're waiting, you know,

1120
00:56:36,200 --> 00:56:38,560
Speaker 1: if you're if you're gonna have anal sex. Yeah, like

1121
00:56:39,239 --> 00:56:41,840
Speaker 1: keep it as clean as possible. But if you're not

1122
00:56:41,880 --> 00:56:44,399
Speaker 1: in an anal then don't even worry about it. But

1123
00:56:44,960 --> 00:56:47,880
Speaker 1: like just keep your options open. There's a bikini line,

1124
00:56:47,920 --> 00:56:49,640
Speaker 1: so you don't want your pubic hair to grow into

1125
00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:52,720
Speaker 1: your thighs. That's gross because you have those air and hairs.

1126
00:56:53,320 --> 00:56:56,080
Speaker 1: So it's cool to laser that area and, you know,

1127
00:56:56,239 --> 00:56:59,040
Speaker 1: laser around the area, so like on maybe on your

1128
00:56:59,080 --> 00:57:01,600
Speaker 1: vaginal lips, like it's not fun to have hair there,

1129
00:57:01,680 --> 00:57:04,360
Speaker 1: but on the base, what I call my base of

1130
00:57:04,440 --> 00:57:08,080
Speaker 1: my vagina. I like that to have a scientific terms.

1131
00:57:08,120 --> 00:57:10,240
Speaker 1: I feel like that. I like that to be covered.

1132
00:57:11,920 --> 00:57:14,000
Speaker 1: Back at any final thoughts. What about you BECCA? You

1133
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:17,160
Speaker 1: didn't well, I don't feel like I really don't need

1134
00:57:17,200 --> 00:57:19,400
Speaker 1: to at this point. I you know, I did do

1135
00:57:19,560 --> 00:57:22,760
Speaker 1: laser hair removal and I don't follow through with anything

1136
00:57:22,760 --> 00:57:24,480
Speaker 1: in my life. It's like a theme. So I I

1137
00:57:24,880 --> 00:57:27,760
Speaker 1: didn't finish up and so now I just have patchiness

1138
00:57:27,800 --> 00:57:32,160
Speaker 1: that I have to maintain. So like a Balding Vagina.

1139
00:57:32,760 --> 00:57:36,760
Speaker 1: It's really it's not pretty. So, yeah, it's receiving so

1140
00:57:36,920 --> 00:57:39,600
Speaker 1: one credit away from a degree in school. So this

1141
00:57:39,640 --> 00:57:41,680
Speaker 1: is a theme through her life where she doesn't quite

1142
00:57:41,800 --> 00:57:45,520
Speaker 1: hit the nail each time. Almost true, just about there.

1143
00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:47,000
Speaker 1: But yeah, no, if you're going to do it, just

1144
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:50,120
Speaker 1: at least commit to whatever you're doing, because what I've

1145
00:57:50,120 --> 00:57:52,760
Speaker 1: got going on is not attractive. Catherine, what are your

1146
00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:56,439
Speaker 1: views on Pikachu? You know I mean I have a

1147
00:57:56,600 --> 00:58:00,800
Speaker 1: dedicated buzzer. That's how I go. Yeah, US keep it neat.

1148
00:58:01,200 --> 00:58:03,440
Speaker 1: I also don't like when my hair on my vagina.

1149
00:58:03,640 --> 00:58:05,520
Speaker 1: This is probably too much detail, but who gives a ship?

1150
00:58:05,800 --> 00:58:09,400
Speaker 1: It gets too long, like it grows outward. I'm like,

1151
00:58:09,920 --> 00:58:11,959
Speaker 1: I have straight pubic care. I'm not really sure why,

1152
00:58:12,480 --> 00:58:15,360
Speaker 1: but when my hair grows on the base of my vagina,

1153
00:58:15,440 --> 00:58:18,200
Speaker 1: it goes curly and goes out like a little boopsie doodle,

1154
00:58:18,600 --> 00:58:20,920
Speaker 1: and I have to cut that sometimes and be like, okay,

1155
00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:22,840
Speaker 1: I don't want this. This is like my version of

1156
00:58:22,840 --> 00:58:27,720
Speaker 1: a boner. Oh my God. Yeah, I haven't had hair

1157
00:58:27,760 --> 00:58:29,720
Speaker 1: on my vagina for so long, but like I don't

1158
00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:31,360
Speaker 1: even know what it looks like. I'm going to send

1159
00:58:31,360 --> 00:58:33,880
Speaker 1: you Americans. I'm gonna send you American and then you're

1160
00:58:33,880 --> 00:58:40,040
Speaker 1: gonna face time me will I'll do a little show. Well,

1161
00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:42,520
Speaker 1: on that wonderful note, we're gonna take a quick break

1162
00:58:42,520 --> 00:58:44,840
Speaker 1: and we'll move back to clothes. We're gonna take a

1163
00:58:44,920 --> 00:58:46,960
Speaker 1: quick break, put on Ourmericans and we're gonna be right

1164
00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:56,120
Speaker 1: back party and we're back amazing. Well, this is the

1165
00:58:56,160 --> 00:58:57,840
Speaker 1: point in the show where we like to ask of

1166
00:58:57,920 --> 00:59:00,320
Speaker 1: our guests. have any advice you'd like to ask for

1167
00:59:00,400 --> 00:59:06,360
Speaker 1: from Chelsea, Chelsea Goddess Handler. Thank God this. When I

1168
00:59:06,400 --> 00:59:07,880
Speaker 1: read that we got to do this, I was like,

1169
00:59:07,960 --> 00:59:10,919
Speaker 1: thank God. So we are currently like a week out

1170
00:59:11,040 --> 00:59:14,600
Speaker 1: from our first bus and trailer tour and we thought

1171
00:59:14,720 --> 00:59:17,240
Speaker 1: were fancy. We've got a successful podcast, we're gonna get

1172
00:59:17,280 --> 00:59:19,040
Speaker 1: a bus, like all these people on the bus and

1173
00:59:19,040 --> 00:59:22,280
Speaker 1: they're tour and around. It is. I'm saying like it's

1174
00:59:22,280 --> 00:59:26,560
Speaker 1: like planning fifteen weddings with three brides in four weeks.

1175
00:59:26,760 --> 00:59:30,400
Speaker 1: It is so hard. So much of my emotional component

1176
00:59:30,480 --> 00:59:33,200
Speaker 1: of like who I am as a person is directly

1177
00:59:33,200 --> 00:59:36,040
Speaker 1: attached to ticket sales. Like, why don't you want to

1178
00:59:36,080 --> 00:59:40,200
Speaker 1: come New Orleans to see me? I know there's listeners there,

1179
00:59:40,240 --> 00:59:42,760
Speaker 1: so like, how do you separate and what are the

1180
00:59:42,800 --> 00:59:47,240
Speaker 1: secrets to like doing a tour without losing your mind? Okay,

1181
00:59:47,280 --> 00:59:49,600
Speaker 1: first of all, I'm glad you asked this question because

1182
00:59:49,680 --> 00:59:53,720
Speaker 1: I listen. You have to appreciate everything that you have,

1183
00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:56,320
Speaker 1: not the things that you don't. So if a show

1184
00:59:56,360 --> 00:59:59,040
Speaker 1: is not sold out, or you have a thousand people

1185
00:59:59,040 --> 01:00:01,200
Speaker 1: instead of two thousand in or you have five hundred

1186
01:00:01,280 --> 01:00:03,880
Speaker 1: instead of one thousand, you have to go out there

1187
01:00:04,200 --> 01:00:06,840
Speaker 1: with the notion that there are five hundred people that

1188
01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:10,400
Speaker 1: are there to see you and you give them that show.

1189
01:00:10,960 --> 01:00:15,200
Speaker 1: Anytime you are basic in under any other umbrella, then

1190
01:00:15,400 --> 01:00:18,880
Speaker 1: performing and giving the people that are your devoted fans.

1191
01:00:19,600 --> 01:00:22,000
Speaker 1: If that's not what you want it to be or

1192
01:00:22,040 --> 01:00:25,520
Speaker 1: if if you if you're letting your ego run you,

1193
01:00:25,520 --> 01:00:29,840
Speaker 1: you'RE gonna lose. You have to always perform for whoever

1194
01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:32,280
Speaker 1: is sitting in that audience and every time you guys,

1195
01:00:32,320 --> 01:00:34,000
Speaker 1: walk out on that stage, I want you to think

1196
01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:36,360
Speaker 1: of me and think of walking out on that stage

1197
01:00:36,400 --> 01:00:38,120
Speaker 1: and saying we are going to give every single person

1198
01:00:38,160 --> 01:00:39,720
Speaker 1: who bought a ticket the best show that we're going

1199
01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:42,480
Speaker 1: to give them and you cannot worry about anything else.

1200
01:00:42,960 --> 01:00:44,720
Speaker 1: And that is how you build your audience and that

1201
01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:46,800
Speaker 1: is how you build a fan base and when you

1202
01:00:46,800 --> 01:00:49,120
Speaker 1: show up for those people, the next time you come

1203
01:00:49,120 --> 01:00:51,800
Speaker 1: back there's gonna be double the amount of people. M H.

1204
01:00:54,640 --> 01:00:57,560
Speaker 1: I hope I'm listening. I'm putting it in my write.

1205
01:00:57,720 --> 01:01:01,880
Speaker 1: Write it down, Kelty, write it down. I absolutely understand and,

1206
01:01:01,960 --> 01:01:04,200
Speaker 1: like you know, my person that's trying to be a

1207
01:01:04,200 --> 01:01:07,160
Speaker 1: better person really gets it and I absolutely I'm here

1208
01:01:07,440 --> 01:01:12,680
Speaker 1: for it. I just like failure is such a difficult

1209
01:01:12,840 --> 01:01:18,440
Speaker 1: thing for everyone. But when you are failing at being Chelsea,

1210
01:01:18,520 --> 01:01:20,600
Speaker 1: hand learn, not that you've ever really failed, but I'm

1211
01:01:20,640 --> 01:01:24,520
Speaker 1: sure things don't work out sometimes, like it's like failing

1212
01:01:24,760 --> 01:01:27,560
Speaker 1: at doing my job at Microsoft. I think would feel

1213
01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:31,120
Speaker 1: different than failing as being like Kelty night. You're failing, though,

1214
01:01:31,160 --> 01:01:34,480
Speaker 1: but you're not failing. You're working, you're growing. You're working

1215
01:01:34,520 --> 01:01:37,560
Speaker 1: and you're growing. There's no failure. The failure is in

1216
01:01:37,600 --> 01:01:39,840
Speaker 1: your ego. That is that is not a real thing,

1217
01:01:39,880 --> 01:01:42,880
Speaker 1: that is tangible. That is your shadow voice telling you

1218
01:01:42,920 --> 01:01:44,680
Speaker 1: why don't you sell more tickets. Why do you do this?

1219
01:01:44,760 --> 01:01:46,800
Speaker 1: Why do you to kill this? The only way to

1220
01:01:46,840 --> 01:01:49,720
Speaker 1: succeed is to have a good attitude about everything that

1221
01:01:49,760 --> 01:01:53,760
Speaker 1: comes your way in this moment. So you embrace it

1222
01:01:53,920 --> 01:01:56,240
Speaker 1: and you capitalize on it and you don't count the

1223
01:01:56,280 --> 01:01:59,120
Speaker 1: numbers and you're not worried about I check my ticket

1224
01:01:59,160 --> 01:02:02,440
Speaker 1: sales every day, honey, I know exactly what you're talking about, okay,

1225
01:02:02,480 --> 01:02:04,360
Speaker 1: but I don't ever go. I mean I've gotten out

1226
01:02:04,360 --> 01:02:07,280
Speaker 1: to shows that are sixty sold or fifty sold, where

1227
01:02:07,320 --> 01:02:09,439
Speaker 1: I'm like, what the fuck, and you know what, there's

1228
01:02:09,440 --> 01:02:11,600
Speaker 1: some of the best shows I've ever had. You focus

1229
01:02:11,680 --> 01:02:13,600
Speaker 1: on the people that are there for you, and that

1230
01:02:13,760 --> 01:02:15,800
Speaker 1: is how you grow as a performer and as an

1231
01:02:15,960 --> 01:02:19,120
Speaker 1: entertainer and all of it, it's all a build, and

1232
01:02:19,240 --> 01:02:23,120
Speaker 1: so it's not happening instantaneously. Everything is a build. This

1233
01:02:23,200 --> 01:02:26,160
Speaker 1: is your first tour. There's gonna be another one, so

1234
01:02:26,320 --> 01:02:29,760
Speaker 1: just keep that ball rolling in that right direction and

1235
01:02:29,800 --> 01:02:32,160
Speaker 1: try to get outside of your ego and just be

1236
01:02:32,240 --> 01:02:34,440
Speaker 1: in the moment. Being present is the best gift you're

1237
01:02:34,440 --> 01:02:37,240
Speaker 1: gonna give your audience and yourself. And when you go

1238
01:02:37,280 --> 01:02:40,520
Speaker 1: out there on that stage, you have to acknowledge all

1239
01:02:40,560 --> 01:02:43,200
Speaker 1: the people that are sitting there waiting to see you,

1240
01:02:43,880 --> 01:02:45,760
Speaker 1: and you just have to keep playing that game in

1241
01:02:45,800 --> 01:02:47,880
Speaker 1: your mind and running it around and if you have

1242
01:02:47,920 --> 01:02:51,960
Speaker 1: to write affirmations or whatever, do that, but just remember,

1243
01:02:52,040 --> 01:02:55,280
Speaker 1: like it's not black and white. It's always like a move.

1244
01:02:55,480 --> 01:02:57,400
Speaker 1: You know, for me, I've been famous for I don't

1245
01:02:57,400 --> 01:03:00,160
Speaker 1: know twenty years and there are struggles and or are

1246
01:03:00,240 --> 01:03:02,120
Speaker 1: times where I get low and I don't believe in

1247
01:03:02,160 --> 01:03:04,960
Speaker 1: myself or I'm self conscious and I have to pull

1248
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:07,160
Speaker 1: myself out of that. I'm like, you're not here by

1249
01:03:07,200 --> 01:03:11,480
Speaker 1: by mistake, but your behavior and your attitude towards failure

1250
01:03:11,880 --> 01:03:14,320
Speaker 1: will bring you down. And if you have a great

1251
01:03:14,320 --> 01:03:17,720
Speaker 1: attitude and you just go that didn't work out, next thing,

1252
01:03:18,400 --> 01:03:20,560
Speaker 1: that's what brings you up and keeps you afloat. I

1253
01:03:20,560 --> 01:03:23,120
Speaker 1: have one more question. I know I'm like taking over. Sorry. Well,

1254
01:03:23,120 --> 01:03:25,760
Speaker 1: obviously we're big fans of your books and everything that

1255
01:03:25,840 --> 01:03:28,000
Speaker 1: you do, and our new book, Ladies Secrets, has a

1256
01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:31,000
Speaker 1: lot of celebrity stories in it, like Julie Roberts hates me,

1257
01:03:31,560 --> 01:03:33,479
Speaker 1: Jack accidentally went on a date with Josh Ja Mel

1258
01:03:34,160 --> 01:03:37,920
Speaker 1: and like that. We're naming names in these stories and

1259
01:03:37,960 --> 01:03:40,120
Speaker 1: like it's about to come out in the world and

1260
01:03:40,160 --> 01:03:43,320
Speaker 1: like any advice on just like holding true to like

1261
01:03:43,400 --> 01:03:46,240
Speaker 1: the haters and when people are coming at you, or

1262
01:03:46,280 --> 01:03:48,480
Speaker 1: like when it feels like it's all swirling. No, you're

1263
01:03:48,480 --> 01:03:51,120
Speaker 1: telling the truth. WHO GIVES A ship? Everybody? Not Everybody

1264
01:03:51,120 --> 01:03:53,760
Speaker 1: gets along. Some people are not gonna like you. That's

1265
01:03:53,760 --> 01:03:55,680
Speaker 1: the way of the world. If you think this is

1266
01:03:55,680 --> 01:03:59,040
Speaker 1: a popularity contest about everybody liking you, then get out,

1267
01:03:59,480 --> 01:04:03,480
Speaker 1: because that's never ever going to happen. The only bonus

1268
01:04:03,520 --> 01:04:06,000
Speaker 1: is that anyone likes you, you know what I mean,

1269
01:04:06,400 --> 01:04:09,200
Speaker 1: and you focus on those people. Once again, you focus

1270
01:04:09,280 --> 01:04:11,240
Speaker 1: on the people that you're serving, not the people that

1271
01:04:11,280 --> 01:04:13,320
Speaker 1: don't want to eat at McDonald's or whatever you want

1272
01:04:13,320 --> 01:04:15,320
Speaker 1: to come. You know not to compare you guys to McDonald's,

1273
01:04:15,320 --> 01:04:18,520
Speaker 1: but you know what I'm saying, so do I. I

1274
01:04:18,520 --> 01:04:20,560
Speaker 1: mean I will never fucking love a breakfast more than

1275
01:04:20,560 --> 01:04:24,360
Speaker 1: I love that Sausagject mcmuffin. But you just you have

1276
01:04:24,480 --> 01:04:27,960
Speaker 1: to serve up what you're you're delivering, like looking around

1277
01:04:28,040 --> 01:04:31,560
Speaker 1: to see what other people are saying about you is meaningless.

1278
01:04:32,720 --> 01:04:36,200
Speaker 1: You saying you don't like or Julie Roberts doesn't like fine, fuck, fuck, that.

1279
01:04:36,440 --> 01:04:38,560
Speaker 1: Who Cares about that? She's not going to be in

1280
01:04:38,560 --> 01:04:41,320
Speaker 1: your world. Like Josh Tamel, who cares about that either.

1281
01:04:41,840 --> 01:04:44,720
Speaker 1: It's it's better to be truthful and honest than worry

1282
01:04:44,720 --> 01:04:46,440
Speaker 1: about the repercussions. I mean, you don't want to be

1283
01:04:46,480 --> 01:04:49,680
Speaker 1: mean and nasty, but like, whatever you know, you're telling

1284
01:04:49,680 --> 01:04:52,360
Speaker 1: the truth and that's okay and you have to be

1285
01:04:52,440 --> 01:04:56,080
Speaker 1: down with that and stop focusing on the people that

1286
01:04:56,160 --> 01:05:00,520
Speaker 1: don't get it. Stop focusing on the people you don't

1287
01:05:00,600 --> 01:05:02,880
Speaker 1: get it. Jack, I need a Jack van of t shirt.

1288
01:05:03,600 --> 01:05:07,040
Speaker 1: I need to sign Chelsea. Can you imagine if Harry

1289
01:05:07,040 --> 01:05:08,919
Speaker 1: styles went out on stage every night and was trying

1290
01:05:08,920 --> 01:05:10,800
Speaker 1: to find the mother in the crowd that wasn't into

1291
01:05:10,840 --> 01:05:13,560
Speaker 1: that being there, or the father, and he was focused

1292
01:05:13,560 --> 01:05:15,400
Speaker 1: on that? He's like, wait, I have two hundred thousand

1293
01:05:15,440 --> 01:05:17,200
Speaker 1: people at Wembley stating and I don't know how many

1294
01:05:17,200 --> 01:05:18,960
Speaker 1: people that sea. It's probably not two hunch with thousand,

1295
01:05:19,040 --> 01:05:22,000
Speaker 1: but and he's looking around, going where's the guy that

1296
01:05:22,000 --> 01:05:24,280
Speaker 1: doesn't get me? No, you're looking at the people that

1297
01:05:24,320 --> 01:05:29,360
Speaker 1: get you. Yeah, that's such a good point. Wow, man Kelty,

1298
01:05:29,560 --> 01:05:30,920
Speaker 1: I want you to listen to that. I'm going to

1299
01:05:31,040 --> 01:05:33,000
Speaker 1: put that on a voice memo on my phone, so

1300
01:05:33,000 --> 01:05:34,959
Speaker 1: when you're being a real cunt on tour, I'm gonna

1301
01:05:34,960 --> 01:05:37,880
Speaker 1: play it for you. Yeah, for sure. Well, if there's

1302
01:05:37,880 --> 01:05:39,680
Speaker 1: three of you, there's bound to be one cunt. So

1303
01:05:39,760 --> 01:05:41,720
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like that's why I travel alone,

1304
01:05:42,120 --> 01:05:47,800
Speaker 1: just the day exactly. Yeah, well, I love it, you guys.

1305
01:05:47,880 --> 01:05:50,040
Speaker 1: This was so much fun. What a great episode we

1306
01:05:50,080 --> 01:05:51,840
Speaker 1: have with you girls. I love you girls. I'm so

1307
01:05:51,880 --> 01:05:55,400
Speaker 1: glad you're going on tour. Have the best time. Thank you.

1308
01:05:55,640 --> 01:05:58,960
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Thank you. Really excited and Chelsea,

1309
01:05:59,040 --> 01:06:00,760
Speaker 1: I have one more question. I did send you a

1310
01:06:00,800 --> 01:06:03,000
Speaker 1: giant and I sent you a joint. I sent you

1311
01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:04,640
Speaker 1: a joint in the mail and I'm wondering if you

1312
01:06:04,680 --> 01:06:06,360
Speaker 1: ever got it. Wait, hold on, let me see if

1313
01:06:06,360 --> 01:06:10,320
Speaker 1: I have it right here. No, the mail after you

1314
01:06:10,360 --> 01:06:12,360
Speaker 1: were on our podcast, you were like send me a

1315
01:06:12,360 --> 01:06:14,160
Speaker 1: copy of the books. So I got the address your

1316
01:06:14,160 --> 01:06:15,959
Speaker 1: Po box and I sent the book, but I also

1317
01:06:16,000 --> 01:06:19,840
Speaker 1: send a huge gold joint with it. I don't want

1318
01:06:19,840 --> 01:06:23,479
Speaker 1: to sound I don't want to Brag, but so much

1319
01:06:23,560 --> 01:06:27,400
Speaker 1: cannabis sent to my house. I have a refrigerator in

1320
01:06:27,440 --> 01:06:32,320
Speaker 1: our gym and the guest room filled with cannabis. And Mushrooms,

1321
01:06:32,360 --> 01:06:35,040
Speaker 1: because so my cleaning lady was like, we have to

1322
01:06:35,040 --> 01:06:41,000
Speaker 1: get another fridge. I thought it was so inventive. No, no, no,

1323
01:06:41,120 --> 01:06:43,479
Speaker 1: I bet it's there. I just bet. I haven't seen

1324
01:06:43,480 --> 01:06:45,400
Speaker 1: it yet, so I don't want to dissuade you, and

1325
01:06:45,400 --> 01:06:47,880
Speaker 1: when I do see it, I'm gonna let you know. Yeah,

1326
01:06:47,960 --> 01:06:50,560
Speaker 1: you smoke that joint, joint gold thing and you think

1327
01:06:50,600 --> 01:06:54,000
Speaker 1: that to Kelty's ego. I will, I will you, girls.

1328
01:06:54,680 --> 01:06:58,400
Speaker 1: Thank you so so much. Love you girls. Love you.

1329
01:06:58,840 --> 01:07:02,560
Speaker 1: Nice to meet you, cat. Thank you likewise, love you.

1330
01:07:02,760 --> 01:07:05,160
Speaker 1: Joy your good sex life. Thank you. I'M gonna go

1331
01:07:05,200 --> 01:07:10,520
Speaker 1: have sex now. I was like, who me? where? Okay, bye. Hi, guys,

1332
01:07:10,520 --> 01:07:14,920
Speaker 1: thank you so much. So, if you'd like advice from Chelsea,

1333
01:07:15,240 --> 01:07:18,400
Speaker 1: just send us an email at dear Chelsea podcast at

1334
01:07:18,440 --> 01:07:21,480
Speaker 1: Gmail dot com. We have a special call for submissions

1335
01:07:21,520 --> 01:07:24,520
Speaker 1: this week. If you've done any sort of genetic testing

1336
01:07:24,600 --> 01:07:28,200
Speaker 1: and maybe made a discovery about a new family member

1337
01:07:28,320 --> 01:07:30,680
Speaker 1: or found out that your uncle maybe has a secret

1338
01:07:30,680 --> 01:07:33,800
Speaker 1: family somewhere, or you found some health markers related to

1339
01:07:33,840 --> 01:07:36,400
Speaker 1: your DNA that have led you to take certain steps

1340
01:07:36,400 --> 01:07:40,120
Speaker 1: and investigate further, and especially if you'd like advice about

1341
01:07:40,160 --> 01:07:43,040
Speaker 1: what you found out in your DNA analysis. Please write

1342
01:07:43,040 --> 01:07:47,840
Speaker 1: into dear Chelsea podcast at GMAIL DOT COM. Dear Chelsea

1343
01:07:47,960 --> 01:07:51,240
Speaker 1: is a production of I heart radio, executive produced by

1344
01:07:51,360 --> 01:07:55,120
Speaker 1: nick stuff, produced by Catherine Law and edited and engineered

1345
01:07:55,160 --> 01:07:56,080
Speaker 1: by Brad Dick Art.