WEBVTT - Saturn Return: Emily turns 30 0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:04.040 Contrary to what you may think, respect is not earned, 0:00:04.400 --> 0:00:05.160 it's demanded. 0:00:05.640 --> 0:00:09.160 We are masters of our universe. We willingly participate in 0:00:09.360 --> 0:00:12.200 everything we experience, right because at any moment, you can 0:00:12.240 --> 0:00:14.600 tell somebody you know what I've done with this, I'm walking. 0:00:14.840 --> 0:00:17.320 We're also surrounded by some pretty incredible care pretty cool 0:00:17.320 --> 0:00:19.920 because yeah so so. I don't know if it's fair 0:00:20.120 --> 0:00:23.079 to use our life as the exactly, but I'd like 0:00:23.120 --> 0:00:25.040 to think that we're the cool Gayans. 0:00:25.280 --> 0:00:29.200 Or the guns organization. Cleanliness and good smells can really 0:00:29.280 --> 0:00:31.600 change the space and as a result, your mood or 0:00:31.680 --> 0:00:33.000 level of inspiration reach. 0:00:33.760 --> 0:00:37.720 Oh my gosh. 0:00:36.520 --> 0:00:39.720 Communications key amazing. Everybody knows how to talk to you. Guys, 0:00:40.080 --> 0:00:42.479 How the fuck do you listen? Because I've fucking failed 0:00:42.479 --> 0:00:43.280 for thirty years. 0:00:45.280 --> 0:00:48.199 I can I believe the fifth Here somebody gives you 0:00:48.240 --> 0:00:53.159 know that if you if you cry, I cry, so chill. 0:01:01.920 --> 0:01:02.240 Launch. 0:01:03.040 --> 0:01:06.440 Welcome back, everybody to in our own world. Today's episode 0:01:06.520 --> 0:01:09.160 is not just another stop on our journey. It's a 0:01:09.200 --> 0:01:11.959 celebration of someone who has been my co pilot, not 0:01:12.080 --> 0:01:16.640 just here but in life. Emily, my partner, my love, 0:01:17.080 --> 0:01:21.559 my greatest friend. This episode is all about you turning 0:01:21.600 --> 0:01:24.360 thirty is a milestone, but it's not about the number. 0:01:24.760 --> 0:01:27.720 It's about the life you've lived so far, and m 0:01:27.840 --> 0:01:31.640 the life that you've created is extraordinary. You're a brilliant musician, 0:01:32.120 --> 0:01:36.800 a fiercely kind soul, a super annimal lover, an incredible granddaughter, 0:01:36.880 --> 0:01:40.480 daughter and postisa granddaughter, and the person who fills every 0:01:40.520 --> 0:01:44.520 space you enter with light and laughter for almost because 0:01:44.560 --> 0:01:46.520 we're not quite there. Next week we will be, but 0:01:46.560 --> 0:01:50.600 we're not quite there. For almost eight years, I've been 0:01:50.680 --> 0:01:54.800 lucky enough to walk alongside you, to see every beautiful, messy, 0:01:55.040 --> 0:01:58.520 raw and incredible part of who you are. So today 0:01:58.520 --> 0:02:02.240 we're not just celebrating your thirtieth birthday. We're celebrating the 0:02:02.240 --> 0:02:06.800 incredible you, everything you've been, everything you are, and everything 0:02:06.800 --> 0:02:10.240 I know you'll become. I love you, baby, Happy thirty, 0:02:10.320 --> 0:02:15.640 and thank you for being you. She's crying already. 0:02:17.040 --> 0:02:20.240 Give her a second, give her a second, too much, 0:02:21.160 --> 0:02:22.200 And I'm. 0:02:22.000 --> 0:02:23.880 So happy to say I'm the first person who said 0:02:23.880 --> 0:02:24.520 happy thirty. 0:02:24.919 --> 0:02:28.600 Thank you, ah too much? 0:02:29.200 --> 0:02:30.280 How do you feel. 0:02:31.440 --> 0:02:39.480 Overwhelmed? You know, interested in how humans fixate congratulating ourselves 0:02:39.560 --> 0:02:42.880 with another year, but very happy, thank you? 0:02:43.120 --> 0:02:45.720 A little bit sad Okay, we're going to talk about it, 0:02:46.240 --> 0:02:53.080 really somebody, because you know that if you if you cry, 0:02:53.160 --> 0:02:54.200 I cry, so chill. 0:02:54.360 --> 0:02:56.160 All right, Well, either way, I'm going to change the 0:02:56.160 --> 0:02:58.120 subject because the point is that thank you for that 0:02:58.200 --> 0:03:00.840 amazing intro. My god, somebody. 0:03:00.520 --> 0:03:02.440 Else, it's okay, I think this is what happens when 0:03:02.440 --> 0:03:03.360 you turn thirty. 0:03:04.480 --> 0:03:09.400 It's too much somebody else, so for real, Oh my god, 0:03:09.440 --> 0:03:10.600 I have an actual tear. 0:03:10.840 --> 0:03:13.400 No, there's no, there's like five It's okay. That's good. 0:03:13.400 --> 0:03:14.320 Maybe you're doing great. 0:03:14.520 --> 0:03:15.520 I'm also very old. 0:03:15.600 --> 0:03:18.200 Okay, why don't you wait, hold on, don't push past it. 0:03:18.240 --> 0:03:20.239 Why don't you talk us through what you're feeling right now? 0:03:21.040 --> 0:03:23.560 I felt it when I was twenty five, just like age, 0:03:23.600 --> 0:03:28.280 you know coming upon you. I don't know, because I 0:03:28.400 --> 0:03:29.520 always feel very young. 0:03:29.760 --> 0:03:31.840 Yeah, I mean you are no, no. 0:03:31.960 --> 0:03:34.160 Like in spirit and like in the way that I act, 0:03:34.520 --> 0:03:40.000 But I feel the the years coming. So don't take 0:03:40.000 --> 0:03:44.320 it for granted. You know, if you're twenty one, twenty two, whatever, 0:03:44.480 --> 0:03:47.480 like you know, you're growing, but you're still so young, 0:03:47.600 --> 0:03:52.480 like you know, understand that and take that moment and stride, 0:03:52.960 --> 0:03:57.400 learn to grow. And speaking of today, it is my 0:03:57.560 --> 0:04:02.000 fucking birthday, So I'm taking over. So Gem knows that 0:04:02.080 --> 0:04:05.000 I am riding my bike more often, which is something 0:04:05.040 --> 0:04:08.240 that I really know that it's a value to what 0:04:08.320 --> 0:04:10.280 I need to be as a human being, like moving 0:04:10.320 --> 0:04:14.320 my body, being more in tune with exercise and things 0:04:14.400 --> 0:04:16.440 like that is something that is very valuable to me. 0:04:17.000 --> 0:04:21.159 Speaking of which she inspired me to come with you 0:04:21.240 --> 0:04:25.799 guys today with a list of so far thirty things 0:04:26.000 --> 0:04:28.800 I have learned in my thirty years. What do you think. 0:04:29.120 --> 0:04:31.080 There's a lot of things that we learn as the 0:04:31.160 --> 0:04:34.800 years go by, and I'm thirty, but there are way 0:04:34.839 --> 0:04:37.520 more than thirty things that I have learned in my 0:04:37.640 --> 0:04:40.360 time on earth so far. But what I encourage everybody 0:04:40.400 --> 0:04:43.799 to learn is the first thirty things that come to mind. 0:04:43.920 --> 0:04:46.520 And like I mentioned about riding bike when I went 0:04:46.520 --> 0:04:48.360 on my bike this morning, which is something that I 0:04:48.360 --> 0:04:51.919 do often and Gem supports me with anyway, the point 0:04:52.080 --> 0:04:55.479 is that I have there are a lot of things 0:04:55.480 --> 0:04:57.160 that you learn when you get a little bit older. 0:04:57.160 --> 0:05:00.680 And I'm not old yet, I'm only thirty, but on 0:05:00.760 --> 0:05:02.960 the way there the things that stick in your mind 0:05:03.000 --> 0:05:05.520 the most. Like for example, this morning, I told Jim, well, 0:05:05.560 --> 0:05:07.040 I'm gonna get on my bike. I'm gonna see what 0:05:07.120 --> 0:05:09.880 comes to my head first, and that's what I want 0:05:09.880 --> 0:05:12.400 to share with you guys today. So, in an effort 0:05:12.480 --> 0:05:16.120 of time, happy thirtieth birthday to me, and welcome to 0:05:16.400 --> 0:05:18.640 thirty things that M has to share with you so 0:05:18.800 --> 0:05:23.400 far on her thirtieth year on the planet. Welcome, thank you. 0:05:23.560 --> 0:05:27.440 I'm excited anyway. So let's start with number one in 0:05:27.520 --> 0:05:31.919 order of importance. It's always better to be behind the 0:05:31.960 --> 0:05:37.560 beat as a drummer, I know what you mean exactly. 0:05:37.600 --> 0:05:40.240 This is my number one for a reason. As any 0:05:40.320 --> 0:05:42.719 kind of musician, or whether you're recording or playing in 0:05:42.720 --> 0:05:45.200 a band or anything like that, if you have an option. 0:05:45.600 --> 0:05:49.479 When you're playing right, you get excited. Inherently, you're always 0:05:49.480 --> 0:05:53.279 playing like faster right. It's always better to be behind 0:05:53.440 --> 0:05:58.240 the beat than ahead of it. So like a non. 0:05:58.120 --> 0:06:03.600 Musician version of that, or worse, lay back, lay back. 0:06:03.960 --> 0:06:06.200 It's always better to be behind everybody than I had 0:06:06.520 --> 0:06:09.760 just lay back in a beat. Like if the tempo 0:06:09.839 --> 0:06:15.599 is king, King, King, King, it's better to bear, it's 0:06:15.600 --> 0:06:17.720 better to be behind it than ahead of it. It's 0:06:17.720 --> 0:06:20.040 always better to be behind the beat. It's more swaggy 0:06:20.160 --> 0:06:23.240 everything you do in life. Love that all right. Number two, 0:06:23.520 --> 0:06:26.599 animals may not speak but have more important things to 0:06:26.640 --> 0:06:28.000 say than humans. 0:06:29.160 --> 0:06:31.080 I really feel that way. Yeah. 0:06:31.160 --> 0:06:34.560 I feel like we often are looking for animals to 0:06:34.560 --> 0:06:39.680 speak a language that we understand, but they have more 0:06:39.720 --> 0:06:41.920 to say inherently in the way that they act and 0:06:41.960 --> 0:06:44.880 the way that they move. That means a lot more 0:06:44.920 --> 0:06:46.880 to us humans than a language. 0:06:46.920 --> 0:06:48.360 I wish we could hear what they have to say 0:06:48.400 --> 0:06:48.799 for sure. 0:06:49.480 --> 0:06:50.440 Yeah, but we feel it. 0:06:51.120 --> 0:06:56.160 Yeah, I know. I sometimes I'm like, uh, if it 0:06:56.200 --> 0:07:00.080 could read your mind, But but yeah, I love. 0:07:01.440 --> 0:07:06.080 Okay. Next number three, it's not only okay to change, 0:07:06.560 --> 0:07:12.240 it's important to I was always afraid of changing. Actually 0:07:12.360 --> 0:07:14.600 that's kind of what we're here to do, so change. 0:07:15.840 --> 0:07:18.720 Any comment on that, baby, Yeah, but there was a 0:07:18.760 --> 0:07:20.600 saying that my mom used to say a lot when 0:07:20.600 --> 0:07:24.760 we were kids. With change comes gross. I don't think 0:07:24.800 --> 0:07:26.840 that if you come on this planet and you stayed 0:07:26.920 --> 0:07:29.840 exactly the same, you're doing what we You're making the 0:07:29.840 --> 0:07:35.720 best of it, exactly, okay. Number four, Contrary to what 0:07:35.760 --> 0:07:41.720 you may think, respect is not earned, it's demanded. You 0:07:41.760 --> 0:07:45.080 don't earn respect, like I'm sorry, girl, Like if you 0:07:45.160 --> 0:07:48.440 expect somebody to come around and be like, I see, 0:07:48.480 --> 0:07:51.640 I respect you just because you earned it. There's no 0:07:51.880 --> 0:07:54.680 kind of respect that's earned. It's something that inherently as 0:07:54.720 --> 0:07:57.880 a human being, you have to make sure that people 0:07:58.200 --> 0:08:02.120 respect around. Respect is like a boundary, I think, right, 0:08:02.160 --> 0:08:06.280 But there's like a saying that's like, oh, respectors earned. Like, no, girl, 0:08:06.920 --> 0:08:10.800 you have to make sure that people are respecting you. Yeah, exactly, 0:08:11.480 --> 0:08:15.720 all right. Next, this one's really kind of sad, but 0:08:15.760 --> 0:08:16.239 it's true. 0:08:16.400 --> 0:08:18.840 My thirty thirties, you've started this episode crying. 0:08:18.880 --> 0:08:21.080 I'd like to remind you, Oh you think I forgot 0:08:21.240 --> 0:08:25.680 I think so. No, I didn't. You could lose anybody 0:08:25.800 --> 0:08:32.160 or anything at any moment. Yeah, that's one of my 0:08:32.200 --> 0:08:34.319 big ones. They're like, oh, you know you're a widows, 0:08:34.440 --> 0:08:37.400 this that you know you're like expecting loss. No, girl, 0:08:37.520 --> 0:08:39.480 you're gonna wake up tomorrow, you're gonna get a call, 0:08:40.000 --> 0:08:41.720 and you lost a really close person in you. 0:08:41.920 --> 0:08:44.760 Also, it doesn't even matter how much you prepare for 0:08:44.800 --> 0:08:46.679 the loss. I think that no amount. 0:08:46.440 --> 0:08:50.440 Of preparation truly prepares you right at all for the 0:08:50.520 --> 0:08:51.960 person for the situation. 0:08:52.960 --> 0:08:54.880 Yeah, humans, I don't I don't care how many years 0:08:54.880 --> 0:08:57.280 you're on the planet. I don't think that it gets 0:08:57.280 --> 0:08:57.960 any easier. 0:08:58.080 --> 0:09:01.720 It doesn't at all. Well, there you go a little dark. 0:09:01.920 --> 0:09:06.719 But that's my number five. Okay, number six. Gem has 0:09:06.800 --> 0:09:08.439 really helped me with this one. There are a couple 0:09:08.480 --> 0:09:10.160 on the list that GEM has really helped with. 0:09:10.320 --> 0:09:11.000 I'm honored. 0:09:11.640 --> 0:09:15.240 Okay, what you put in your body is actually fucking important. 0:09:15.600 --> 0:09:20.120 Read ingredients. That's my part A for six. I have 0:09:20.160 --> 0:09:23.280 part A and part B. Okakay. Part A is what 0:09:23.320 --> 0:09:25.240 you put in your body is actually fucking portant. Read 0:09:25.240 --> 0:09:27.800 the ingredients. And part B is if you don't buy 0:09:27.840 --> 0:09:30.160 it and take it home, you won't eat it. 0:09:30.679 --> 0:09:31.200 Oh my god. 0:09:31.360 --> 0:09:33.679 Yeah, that's a big one, GEM. 0:09:33.520 --> 0:09:37.960 Remember that. Oh my god. Here's what's been happening lately. Right, 0:09:38.000 --> 0:09:41.199 We'll have like rehearsals for the musicians, and then I'll 0:09:41.240 --> 0:09:43.240 buy these mini cokes for them because I know I 0:09:43.400 --> 0:09:45.520 all love co Cola, and then like twenty will be 0:09:45.559 --> 0:09:48.360 left arm Like I guess I have to drink them exactly. 0:09:48.960 --> 0:09:51.520 Oh, if you don't buy won't don't buy it, don't 0:09:51.520 --> 0:09:54.199 take it to your house, Okay, and also really value 0:09:54.240 --> 0:09:55.880 what you put in your body. You taught me that 0:09:55.920 --> 0:09:57.840 a lot Before I met Gem, I wasn't a vegan, 0:09:58.320 --> 0:10:01.840 which doesn't necessarily have to do with the health of 0:10:01.880 --> 0:10:07.280 your diet. Vegan, very unhealthy vegan, which which I hope 0:10:07.320 --> 0:10:09.520 to change this year and in my thirtieth year and 0:10:09.559 --> 0:10:13.240 in this new year, to give more intention into what 0:10:13.400 --> 0:10:15.720 actually I put into my body. Yes, verse, you know, 0:10:15.840 --> 0:10:19.120 just being a vegan diet, like, it's very different, very different. 0:10:19.120 --> 0:10:23.600 I can't wait, all right, next, you're ready, I'm ready. 0:10:23.640 --> 0:10:32.079 You're gonna believe this. Fun is underrated. Fun is so rated. Yes, 0:10:32.520 --> 0:10:34.920 I think you have to have fun at every moment 0:10:35.040 --> 0:10:37.240 you have, and I get in trouble for it all 0:10:37.320 --> 0:10:40.120 the time. And maybe sometimes I have fun when I shouldn't. 0:10:40.160 --> 0:10:42.520 But it's much better to do that than be fucking 0:10:42.640 --> 0:10:46.200 pissed if we could die at any moment, which is 0:10:46.240 --> 0:10:50.400 one of the things that I've learned. Fun is underrated. 0:10:50.480 --> 0:10:54.920 Like stop feeling so weird about laughing and feeling good 0:10:55.040 --> 0:10:57.959 and I don't know, liking things that you feel like 0:10:58.000 --> 0:11:00.600 you shouldn't like. Sometimes I feel about that, like, oh well, 0:11:00.640 --> 0:11:03.839 people are like they're doing their accountant job every day 0:11:03.880 --> 0:11:05.920 and they might be like having a wayward d about 0:11:05.920 --> 0:11:08.240 wicked or something you know, and it's like. 0:11:08.400 --> 0:11:10.440 We were thought about anything anything else. 0:11:11.160 --> 0:11:15.000 Yeah, I don't know. Phone is underrated? Yeah, okay, next ready, 0:11:15.880 --> 0:11:20.800 I'm proud of this one. If communication is key, listening 0:11:21.040 --> 0:11:26.840 is the door. So people always say, oh, communication is love, 0:11:26.960 --> 0:11:30.480 communication is key, communication is key. Amazing, everybody knows how 0:11:30.520 --> 0:11:32.760 to talk to you, guys, How the fuck do you listen? 0:11:32.800 --> 0:11:34.880 Because I've fucking failed for thirty years? 0:11:36.880 --> 0:11:38.360 I can I leave the fifth here? 0:11:39.040 --> 0:11:40.320 No, you can be honest. 0:11:40.400 --> 0:11:43.360 It's my thirty it's your thirtieth birthday special, and this 0:11:43.400 --> 0:11:47.320 is about what you've learned. And I think that I've 0:11:47.320 --> 0:11:50.199 become a better listener in your process of listening. 0:11:51.240 --> 0:11:53.560 Wow, well we've both been learning. But that's also what 0:11:53.600 --> 0:11:56.559 love is. What we'll get to on probably twelve thirteen. 0:11:57.840 --> 0:12:02.240 But anyway, Yes, if communication is key, listening is the door. Listen, listen, listen, 0:12:02.679 --> 0:12:06.000 And to quote Quincy, my amazing godfather, who said, if 0:12:06.040 --> 0:12:08.360 God gave you two ears, it means that you need 0:12:08.440 --> 0:12:11.520 to listen twice as much as you speak. So please, everybody, 0:12:11.600 --> 0:12:15.840 let's shut the fuck Honestly, that's what I've learned. If 0:12:15.840 --> 0:12:18.360 I have something to learn, shut the fuck up, all right? Next? 0:12:19.400 --> 0:12:23.400 Right, you said after everyone like, did I get unready 0:12:23.440 --> 0:12:24.480 between the last te. 0:12:24.360 --> 0:12:24.880 I think you did? 0:12:25.040 --> 0:12:25.440 All right? 0:12:25.840 --> 0:12:28.440 Jim knows this about me. And this was imparted to 0:12:28.480 --> 0:12:31.360 me by my mother. Thank you, mom, and I thank 0:12:31.400 --> 0:12:34.000 you for this teaching because I really feel it. Boredom 0:12:34.040 --> 0:12:37.880 does not exist. Boredom does not exist. If you have 0:12:37.920 --> 0:12:40.600 a brain in your head, you best not turn to 0:12:40.640 --> 0:12:45.160 your parents and say I am bored. Go draw, go, think, go, write, 0:12:45.480 --> 0:12:48.960 go create. Maybe that's a weird thing to think of 0:12:49.000 --> 0:12:52.319 as a creative. I don't know how you feel about that. 0:12:52.480 --> 0:12:54.440 I think my grandfather used to tell me this thing. 0:12:54.480 --> 0:12:56.760 When I would stay at their house. I'd be like, ah, 0:12:56.800 --> 0:13:00.520 WELLO read that. He'd be like, I see man, mind 0:13:00.559 --> 0:13:04.800 you garla, Yeah, I don't do you very well? 0:13:06.480 --> 0:13:08.400 Well that's another way, and I would not talk to 0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:09.599 him about that. 0:13:09.600 --> 0:13:12.160 I'd be like, all right, message received, I should shut 0:13:12.240 --> 0:13:13.560 up and final way. 0:13:14.040 --> 0:13:17.520 That's the right message. But the learning is you have 0:13:17.520 --> 0:13:22.120 a brain in your head, create, draw, think, write something down. 0:13:22.360 --> 0:13:24.160 I don't know not even I don't think. I don't 0:13:24.160 --> 0:13:25.640 even think you have to take an action. I think 0:13:25.679 --> 0:13:28.000 you just go outside and watch nature. I think you 0:13:28.120 --> 0:13:31.240 learn a lot just by watching nature. 0:13:31.280 --> 0:13:36.040 Do its thing. A leaf turned bird comes to the tree, 0:13:36.200 --> 0:13:38.400 and what does it grab? What does it pick from? 0:13:38.920 --> 0:13:41.920 How long is it there? How does a bird open 0:13:41.960 --> 0:13:45.200 its mouth when it makes it sounds? You know, like, 0:13:45.240 --> 0:13:47.160 there's just so much you can learn just by. 0:13:47.040 --> 0:13:52.160 Looking around you and being plugged in being present, present exactly, 0:13:52.960 --> 0:13:54.880 which is a lot of the things that we disconnect 0:13:54.880 --> 0:13:57.640 from these days because of all the distractions we have, 0:13:58.400 --> 0:14:03.600 you know, yeahstly, Okay, next, I'm not going to ask 0:14:03.600 --> 0:14:04.959 you if you're ready, because I already know how you 0:14:04.960 --> 0:14:09.880 feel about that, Okay. People who create art speak their 0:14:09.920 --> 0:14:16.200 own language, like artists speak their own language. Yeah, I 0:14:16.240 --> 0:14:16.560 think so. 0:14:17.480 --> 0:14:22.600 I think that I think artists are a very someone 0:14:22.640 --> 0:14:25.320 I don't know, someone that I came across on the 0:14:25.320 --> 0:14:29.840 internet said something that artists tend to be the deepest 0:14:29.840 --> 0:14:35.800 feelers because we process emotions maybe at a different intensity 0:14:35.800 --> 0:14:38.000 than the people around us, which is why we have 0:14:38.080 --> 0:14:41.680 to like do something with those emotions. Yeah, and I 0:14:41.720 --> 0:14:43.680 think that that kind of makes us like a certain 0:14:43.800 --> 0:14:45.960 kind of just a certain kind of person, you know, 0:14:46.760 --> 0:14:49.240 I just feeling a lot of things all the time. 0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:52.840 Yeah, Well, I don't know. Over the years, I've learned, 0:14:53.680 --> 0:14:55.840 even through we've talked about it, like dating people who 0:14:55.840 --> 0:14:59.000 maybe are maybe not that artistic, or maybe, in my case, 0:14:59.080 --> 0:15:02.120 like dating people who inherently are are are artistic, but 0:15:02.320 --> 0:15:04.400 are maybe not my sexual preference. 0:15:05.160 --> 0:15:06.960 You know, that's a turn. 0:15:07.720 --> 0:15:12.720 But we've talked about Okay, it's my thirtieth birthday special, 0:15:12.760 --> 0:15:13.480 I can't be real. 0:15:13.680 --> 0:15:18.000 No, please be real, Please be really? What is the 0:15:18.240 --> 0:15:20.360 What does the sexual preference have to do with the artists? 0:15:20.400 --> 0:15:23.000 I'm saying that inherently as a person, as a soul, 0:15:23.360 --> 0:15:26.000 I'm more connected to people who are artistic or can 0:15:26.080 --> 0:15:30.800 speak my language versus what their gender or their genitalia pursue. 0:15:31.160 --> 0:15:34.080 Which is why I feel like I can honestly say, well, 0:15:34.120 --> 0:15:37.360 I'm attracted to the person and not their gender because 0:15:37.360 --> 0:15:39.360 I feel like I speak the language of art more 0:15:39.400 --> 0:15:44.040 than the language of gender. You know, No, you're gay 0:15:44.040 --> 0:15:44.560 as fuck. 0:15:44.920 --> 0:15:47.040 Fix that. No, it's it's just poetic. 0:15:59.320 --> 0:16:08.600 Skincare is important, important, skin care is important. Moisturized moisture. 0:16:09.520 --> 0:16:12.600 Is this like things I've learned as a white basic thing? 0:16:13.040 --> 0:16:15.000 Is this things I've learned in the last thirty years 0:16:15.080 --> 0:16:16.960 or things that I'm going to start applying because I 0:16:17.000 --> 0:16:18.400 haven't done them. 0:16:18.600 --> 0:16:22.480 Oh that's not fair, just fair. I've been, like, you know, 0:16:22.680 --> 0:16:27.320 vehemently applying them little by little as we go once 0:16:27.360 --> 0:16:29.920 a week, you know, once every three weeks. Doesn't know. 0:16:30.000 --> 0:16:32.800 One can't preach them. I do moisturize, not as much 0:16:32.840 --> 0:16:35.000 as I should, but I have been moisturizing. 0:16:35.280 --> 0:16:37.360 I'm proud of you for your However, often. 0:16:37.160 --> 0:16:41.320 He's my next one. Clearly it's on the line of 0:16:41.360 --> 0:16:43.960 what you would be talking about. Being soft doesn't make 0:16:44.040 --> 0:16:47.400 you weak. Playing the victim does. That's me. I am 0:16:47.440 --> 0:16:51.400 the first person to be like, Okay, maybe you need 0:16:51.440 --> 0:16:54.240 to be a little bit softer and the way you 0:16:54.280 --> 0:16:57.200 interpret things or the way you receive things in life, 0:16:57.600 --> 0:17:00.280 but that's not the tea. What makes you weaken life 0:17:00.400 --> 0:17:04.399 is putting yourself in the perspective of the victim or 0:17:04.520 --> 0:17:08.119 somebody who can't be approached or can't be resolved. Like, 0:17:08.160 --> 0:17:11.000 that's not the vibe. You need to open yourself to 0:17:11.040 --> 0:17:15.040 the situation. And for me personally, it's a very comfortable 0:17:15.080 --> 0:17:18.960 place to keep going into. Oh, these people are attacking me, 0:17:20.040 --> 0:17:22.480 you know, they're saying this about me, this that, Oh 0:17:22.520 --> 0:17:25.480 this hurts me. No, girl, get out of that perspective. 0:17:25.840 --> 0:17:28.000 That is not I mean, there's a way to hold 0:17:28.480 --> 0:17:31.800 there's a place and a time for holding space for 0:17:31.840 --> 0:17:35.879 the way that you feel. I'll get there shifting. You're funny, 0:17:36.400 --> 0:17:39.440 but I do think that there's value. And you find 0:17:39.440 --> 0:17:42.440 that you're the kind of person who in every story 0:17:42.520 --> 0:17:45.719 you tell you are always the victim, and it's always 0:17:46.240 --> 0:17:49.600 what's happening to me, and this person did this to me, 0:17:49.840 --> 0:17:53.120 and you don't take a beat and consider, First of all, 0:17:53.160 --> 0:17:55.879 everybody thinks they're the victim in their own story. But 0:17:55.960 --> 0:17:58.000 even if you take yourself out of that mentality and 0:17:58.040 --> 0:18:01.000 you say, okay, we are masters of our universe, we 0:18:01.119 --> 0:18:05.320 willingly participate in everything we experience, right, Because at any moment, 0:18:05.600 --> 0:18:07.239 you can tell somebody, you know, what I've done with this, 0:18:07.680 --> 0:18:11.560 I'm walking I'm walking away, whether it's a conversation, whether 0:18:11.600 --> 0:18:13.800 it's an experience, or like you know, an actual thing 0:18:13.840 --> 0:18:17.400 that's occurring. So if you allow yourself to slip into 0:18:17.400 --> 0:18:20.919 the pattern of like, this is this is happening to me? 0:18:21.200 --> 0:18:25.359 Not maybe I co created this experience, Right, that's I 0:18:25.400 --> 0:18:27.080 think what you mean, that's. 0:18:26.680 --> 0:18:30.640 The victim experience I'm talking about, Like, yeah, realizing that 0:18:30.680 --> 0:18:34.240 the human experience is one that inherently in the dynamic 0:18:34.320 --> 0:18:37.879 of relationships. You're always trying to place yourself as the 0:18:37.880 --> 0:18:40.720 one who's not you know, like doing. 0:18:40.440 --> 0:18:43.679 This, I feel valid herd you feel validain. 0:18:43.600 --> 0:18:46.280 But that's not the vibe. And I'll get there because 0:18:46.359 --> 0:18:46.600 one of. 0:18:46.600 --> 0:18:48.760 The onest episod be called what's the vibe? 0:18:49.520 --> 0:18:54.960 Okay, next, are you ready? 0:18:55.000 --> 0:18:58.720 Oh my god, I'm going to really just have a 0:18:58.760 --> 0:19:01.040 hard time here. If that's you start every one? 0:19:01.119 --> 0:19:05.399 Okay. Emotions are real, but they often whisper lies to 0:19:05.440 --> 0:19:11.879 the soul. So yeah, what you feel may be really 0:19:11.920 --> 0:19:16.560 heavy and real and real. Your feelings are sensors, but 0:19:17.119 --> 0:19:19.760 they may be informing you of something that you don't 0:19:19.800 --> 0:19:24.280 want to apply to your life. And the way that 0:19:24.320 --> 0:19:27.879 it feels like sometimes I feel like like so hurt, 0:19:27.960 --> 0:19:30.320 so hard, so this, and it's like, take a breath. 0:19:30.400 --> 0:19:34.480 Apply your feelings to you? Does that make sense? No? 0:19:34.960 --> 0:19:36.600 What do you mean to apply your feelings to you? 0:19:37.160 --> 0:19:40.840 Separate your emotions and your feelings from who you are, 0:19:41.440 --> 0:19:46.560 and have that conversation with yourself. Not to immediately validate 0:19:46.600 --> 0:19:49.280 your feelings, but to place them where they belong. Yeah, 0:19:49.320 --> 0:19:52.800 which are not often where they speak to you from. 0:19:52.960 --> 0:19:56.119 That's what I meant. Your feelings are often liars. So 0:19:56.359 --> 0:19:59.920 place them where they belong, talk to them, learn them. 0:20:00.200 --> 0:20:04.000 You know, emotions are we real, but they tell you 0:20:04.080 --> 0:20:09.080 fucking lies. I'm telling you to tell you lies. All right. Next, Fear. 0:20:09.240 --> 0:20:13.399 We're on fourteen by the way, eel's halfway there. Fear 0:20:13.520 --> 0:20:17.160 itself will take away all you are afraid to lose. 0:20:20.520 --> 0:20:21.720 Some of these are poetic. 0:20:21.920 --> 0:20:24.719 I'm telling you I thought about them. Wow my bike ride. 0:20:25.040 --> 0:20:25.840 Repeat that one. 0:20:26.040 --> 0:20:30.639 Fear itself will take away all you are afraid to lose. 0:20:31.280 --> 0:20:35.080 So in the moments you spend being afraid, the moments 0:20:35.119 --> 0:20:38.480 you spend fearing what will happen right there, it's going 0:20:38.560 --> 0:20:41.920 to eliminate the possibility of that happening. Stop being afraid, 0:20:42.480 --> 0:20:45.520 Jump into it. Fear is the opposite of love, is 0:20:45.560 --> 0:20:48.960 the opposite of success, is the opposite of creativity. Fear 0:20:49.040 --> 0:20:54.000 is gnarly. And I'm thirty and I'm still afraid. But 0:20:54.119 --> 0:20:57.000 at least I see it. Yeah, we're getting there. You know, 0:20:57.400 --> 0:21:03.840 we'll see it at forty all right. Next, speaking a 0:21:03.920 --> 0:21:05.160 second language is a gift. 0:21:07.680 --> 0:21:12.679 Yes, yes, yes, speaking a second language is a gift. 0:21:12.960 --> 0:21:13.120 Right. 0:21:13.320 --> 0:21:18.760 I feel super lucky. I feel so lucky, not just 0:21:18.880 --> 0:21:20.800 not just to speak it but to understand it and 0:21:20.840 --> 0:21:23.320 to read it and to be able to consume culture 0:21:24.200 --> 0:21:25.960 through this other language. 0:21:26.560 --> 0:21:29.199 I love it. I know me too. Thank you, Thank you, 0:21:29.240 --> 0:21:32.480 Mom and Dad, thank you everybody, everybody. 0:21:32.280 --> 0:21:34.399 Miami, the city of Thank you to the City of 0:21:34.440 --> 0:21:38.160 Miami for making my Spanish the unofficial first. 0:21:38.240 --> 0:21:40.960 Okay, this one I attribute to you. Literally, I haven't. 0:21:41.200 --> 0:21:43.160 There's a couple there already that I'm like, I wonder 0:21:43.200 --> 0:21:44.800 where she got that thing. 0:21:44.880 --> 0:21:48.280 No, but this one says this has parentheses. Travel like 0:21:48.320 --> 0:21:53.080 a local. Thanks Jem. Jem has taught me, you know, 0:21:53.280 --> 0:21:55.800 hashtag nepple baby. I've traveled the world, you know, on 0:21:55.840 --> 0:22:00.520 tour with my mom's traveled. I've traveled on my mom 0:22:00.600 --> 0:22:03.119 and like doing all this stuff. And when I started 0:22:03.160 --> 0:22:05.119 traveling with Gem, She's like, let's travel like a local. 0:22:06.160 --> 0:22:08.440 Talk to local people and go to the restaurants they go, 0:22:08.640 --> 0:22:11.439 ask inquisitive questions. That's the way you see a country, 0:22:11.680 --> 0:22:13.240