WEBVTT - Ep 364: Money Out Loud ft. Berna Anat 0:00:06.640 --> 0:00:10.480 Hey, hey, mean all I always forget. Wait what is 0:00:10.520 --> 0:00:11.280 my brown ambition? 0:00:11.360 --> 0:00:15.560 No entry song? Wait we're back? Oh yeah, we're God 0:00:16.000 --> 0:00:21.759 so I know helly, Hey, hey we're back. 0:00:22.200 --> 0:00:31.360 We're black, We're extra brown today. Ambition ambition, ambition, ambition, ambition. Joe, 0:00:31.640 --> 0:00:33.320 my guest today, had to help me with theme song. 0:00:33.400 --> 0:00:35.280 Y'all know how my memory is set up. But before 0:00:35.280 --> 0:00:39.080 I forget, before I introduced my amazing special she's like 0:00:39.200 --> 0:00:42.080 my I don't say spirited animal anymore because a Native 0:00:42.120 --> 0:00:44.680 person was like that that is disrespectful, so instead they said, 0:00:44.760 --> 0:00:46.960 use patriarch, patron patronis. 0:00:47.159 --> 0:00:48.280 Yes, she's my patronus. 0:00:48.320 --> 0:00:50.120 If you guys are into the Harry Potter, which I am, 0:00:50.360 --> 0:00:54.680 she's my patronis. Before I introduce her real quick, y'all know, 0:00:54.720 --> 0:00:57.320 I've been in business for about fifteen years. 0:00:57.560 --> 0:00:58.840 We made over forty million dollars. 0:00:58.880 --> 0:01:02.000 In business, I have met I toward hundreds, if not thousands, 0:01:02.040 --> 0:01:04.720 of women, some of which are seven figure business and 0:01:04.760 --> 0:01:10.000 six figure businesses themselves. And I have a mentorship club 0:01:10.040 --> 0:01:10.600 if you will. 0:01:10.959 --> 0:01:12.440 It is currently only ten bucks a month. 0:01:12.440 --> 0:01:14.000 It's my way of kind of like pouring back into 0:01:14.120 --> 0:01:17.680 other women because I was poured into it's not specifically 0:01:18.040 --> 0:01:19.840 for black and brown women, but let's just say those 0:01:19.840 --> 0:01:23.680 are my faves. So if you have a business or 0:01:24.120 --> 0:01:27.400 you are thinking about starting a business, now's the perfect 0:01:27.440 --> 0:01:31.559 time to sign up at my mentor Tiffany dot com. 0:01:31.600 --> 0:01:32.839 The link will be in the show notes. 0:01:32.880 --> 0:01:36.600 Because this you know, by the time you listen to 0:01:36.600 --> 0:01:40.320 this show this week, we're doubling it from ten bucks 0:01:40.360 --> 0:01:42.160 a month to twenty bucks a month, but we are 0:01:42.200 --> 0:01:45.480 grandfathering in any current member, so if you're paying ten bucks, 0:01:45.520 --> 0:01:46.720 you will always paying ten bucks. 0:01:47.360 --> 0:01:49.280 And so if you've just been curious and you're like, 0:01:49.320 --> 0:01:50.840 should I do it? 0:01:51.120 --> 0:01:54.480 My mentor Tiffany dot com. I go live once a 0:01:54.480 --> 0:01:57.360 month with a lesson you go. You get to connect 0:01:57.360 --> 0:02:02.000 weekly with your other mentees. Is a monthly networking like 0:02:02.160 --> 0:02:05.720 game that they play together. And then even in person, 0:02:05.920 --> 0:02:09.760 I have menty dinners, you know, with mentus all around 0:02:09.800 --> 0:02:10.160 the country. 0:02:10.200 --> 0:02:12.120 So it's just a really awesome time for ten bucks. 0:02:12.320 --> 0:02:14.200 So why pay ten twenty when you can pay ten 0:02:14.840 --> 0:02:16.960 my mentor Tiffany dot com Because this week is the 0:02:17.000 --> 0:02:20.520 last week it'll be that price. Now let's get into 0:02:20.560 --> 0:02:25.520 the business at hand. We have the one the only 0:02:26.040 --> 0:02:28.120 burner Bernard. 0:02:28.120 --> 0:02:29.360 How you say last name and. 0:02:31.160 --> 0:02:34.600 Like amat and like okay, We'm. 0:02:34.360 --> 0:02:35.880 Gonna do her bio and then we're gonna while out. 0:02:35.919 --> 0:02:39.160 You'll see why Berner is my patronas because we're both crazy. 0:02:40.040 --> 0:02:45.320 Berner is an award winning producer, speaker, podcast host, rich 0:02:45.440 --> 0:02:49.120 aunty and training and financial hype woman. I wish you 0:02:49.120 --> 0:02:49.840 guys to watch on. 0:02:49.760 --> 0:02:51.480 YouTube you ought to be because you would see Berna 0:02:51.520 --> 0:02:52.880 is giving phase. She's voguing. 0:02:53.840 --> 0:02:57.280 Bernon just giving energy, which is her made up way 0:02:57.320 --> 0:03:00.919 of saying that she creates financial education media all over 0:03:00.960 --> 0:03:01.720 the interwebs. 0:03:01.760 --> 0:03:02.120 Okay. 0:03:02.280 --> 0:03:04.280 She was born and raised in the Bay Area, and 0:03:04.320 --> 0:03:09.560 she's a proud is it is it Filipina that's gonna 0:03:09.560 --> 0:03:13.320 stay properly? Okay, Filipina, Filipina, American daughter of immigrants. Oh 0:03:13.320 --> 0:03:15.880 it's same like me, except I'm not Filipina. I'm Nigerian, 0:03:16.000 --> 0:03:19.160 but close enough. She taught herself how to pay over, 0:03:19.400 --> 0:03:22.440 pay off over fifty thousand, thousand dead. 0:03:22.880 --> 0:03:25.680 And then did what any millennia would do. She yelled 0:03:25.680 --> 0:03:26.680 about it on the Internet. 0:03:27.280 --> 0:03:30.240 Bernard's work has been featured on platforms like Forbes, The 0:03:30.320 --> 0:03:34.480 New York Times, BuzzFeed. Berna received a Pollutice Award for 0:03:34.639 --> 0:03:38.040 Most Entertaining Financial Content Creator two years in a row. 0:03:38.240 --> 0:03:39.800 So just so you know, the Plllutice Awards are like 0:03:39.840 --> 0:03:42.120 the Emmys for financial educator, so it's a big deal 0:03:42.800 --> 0:03:48.320 and was named one of ABC's Global Pinoy Idols. You 0:03:48.320 --> 0:03:51.960 can find Berner online at hey Berna on all platforms 0:03:52.000 --> 0:03:55.480 in Heyburner dot com or curled up with her nieces 0:03:55.560 --> 0:03:59.840 watching the Office. And I'd be remissed not to say. 0:04:00.200 --> 0:04:05.440 Berner has a new amazing book out called Money Out Loud, 0:04:06.200 --> 0:04:08.440 which you know what I'm saying, I gave praise for 0:04:08.920 --> 0:04:11.200 because it's an awesome book and as awesome as Berner is. 0:04:11.440 --> 0:04:15.240 So we welcome you to the stoop. Berner. Thank you 0:04:15.280 --> 0:04:15.920 for having me. 0:04:16.080 --> 0:04:16.760 Tiffany. 0:04:16.960 --> 0:04:22.040 This is like I can't build a safer, more wonderful 0:04:22.320 --> 0:04:25.600 financial podcast space Brad Ambition is my number one favorite 0:04:25.600 --> 0:04:28.960 financial podcast. You are my number one favorite financial educator. 0:04:29.080 --> 0:04:31.760 I've been telling everyone since like I've opened my mouth 0:04:31.800 --> 0:04:34.880 in this industry. You are my alpha and Omega. So ah, 0:04:35.120 --> 0:04:38.240 this is this is everything to me. And for folks 0:04:38.279 --> 0:04:40.760 who may have attended my New York City launch event, 0:04:40.800 --> 0:04:44.599 Tiffany was so kind as to moderate our discussion and 0:04:44.640 --> 0:04:46.360 co host with me, and it was just it's been 0:04:46.400 --> 0:04:49.200 a very surreal couple of months kicked off with my 0:04:49.240 --> 0:04:51.960 event with Tiffany, So. 0:04:51.040 --> 0:04:52.960 So Bernard, let's just talk about so So for those 0:04:52.960 --> 0:04:54.919 of you who are talked about the mentorship before, Berne 0:04:54.960 --> 0:04:56.960 is one of my mentees, like my in person mentees, 0:04:57.040 --> 0:04:59.839 and we talked about her book and me and Burner 0:04:59.839 --> 0:05:01.880 were talking like every month to go over, like you know, 0:05:01.960 --> 0:05:04.200 here's some things you can do, and so let's just 0:05:04.200 --> 0:05:07.200 do a check in because I know book launching is 0:05:07.320 --> 0:05:08.080 not easy. 0:05:10.480 --> 0:05:11.839 Your spirit in your. 0:05:11.720 --> 0:05:13.880 Soul right now, like how are you feeling in. 0:05:13.839 --> 0:05:16.880 This great, great, great question I have been telling people 0:05:16.920 --> 0:05:19.600 over the last month two months because my book came 0:05:19.600 --> 0:05:22.640 out about a month and a half ago that it's 0:05:22.680 --> 0:05:24.520 been like, okay, you know how I love a metaphor, 0:05:24.680 --> 0:05:27.840 Like an elongated, ridiculous metaphor. It's like when you're you're 0:05:27.880 --> 0:05:29.640 like playing in the ocean with your friends and maybe 0:05:29.680 --> 0:05:31.960 your crushes around and like you're like kind of in 0:05:32.000 --> 0:05:33.560 the deep end and you're trying to like show off 0:05:33.560 --> 0:05:35.640 your swimming skills, but like still have your like little 0:05:35.640 --> 0:05:38.520 aerial moment like flipping your hair around, shout out to 0:05:38.760 --> 0:05:41.240 Helly Bailey, and but then the waves start coming in 0:05:41.360 --> 0:05:45.160 faster and faster, and like one hits you and you're like, oh, okay, 0:05:45.240 --> 0:05:47.520 let me breathe within the like before the next wave. 0:05:47.560 --> 0:05:49.840 But the next wave comes too fast, and so now 0:05:49.880 --> 0:05:52.120 you like swallow a bunch of seawater. And that's happening 0:05:52.160 --> 0:05:55.560 over and over. That's how I felt for like two months. 0:05:55.560 --> 0:05:59.080 But good, like all the waves of seawater are good, beautiful, 0:05:59.160 --> 0:06:03.800 miraculous life, having supportive things. But I am still drowning 0:06:03.839 --> 0:06:06.640 a little. Okay, I am still getting seawater in my mouth. 0:06:06.880 --> 0:06:11.360 It's just like it's good seawater. So it's been wonderful 0:06:11.520 --> 0:06:14.400 and like chaotic, and I think just in the last 0:06:14.520 --> 0:06:18.440 week I've been able to get to more calmer waters 0:06:18.440 --> 0:06:19.320 and breathe a little bit. 0:06:19.800 --> 0:06:20.160 Yeah. 0:06:20.200 --> 0:06:23.960 So I mean, let's let's talk about money out loud, Like, well, 0:06:23.960 --> 0:06:28.440 one first, how did you become a financial educator? Like 0:06:28.480 --> 0:06:29.640 what you know? 0:06:29.720 --> 0:06:32.000 Like how did you get here? Like you know, from 0:06:32.120 --> 0:06:34.359 how you grew up to what made you think? Like 0:06:34.680 --> 0:06:36.760 how did you pay off your your dad? And then 0:06:36.760 --> 0:06:38.120 what made you say I think I want to show 0:06:38.120 --> 0:06:40.440 other people, like what's that story. 0:06:40.120 --> 0:06:42.000 Like, oh my gosh, the story. 0:06:42.120 --> 0:06:45.080 So I mean you were right at the like the 0:06:45.560 --> 0:06:48.120 freaking a big plot point of my story, I must say. 0:06:48.839 --> 0:06:53.279 But I didn't grow up at all in money, knowing money, 0:06:53.360 --> 0:06:55.880 understanding money. You and I connect on this and being 0:06:56.240 --> 0:06:59.880 children of immigrants, first gen, and my my parents immigrated 0:06:59.880 --> 0:07:03.240 from the Philippines, and like so many of us first 0:07:03.320 --> 0:07:06.680 gen children of immigrants, we only know what our parents 0:07:06.680 --> 0:07:09.200 taught us, and our parents didn't have time to teach us. 0:07:09.120 --> 0:07:09.640 Stuff like this. 0:07:10.160 --> 0:07:11.920 You know, we were very much in the lower middle 0:07:11.960 --> 0:07:16.360 income household, and the focus in an immigrant family is 0:07:16.400 --> 0:07:21.160 to assimilate and survive and to just get a knowledge 0:07:21.200 --> 0:07:24.520 of the rules and the systems, and so growing up 0:07:24.560 --> 0:07:26.280 it was like the money was never talked about. 0:07:26.560 --> 0:07:27.400 It was not discussed. 0:07:27.440 --> 0:07:30.920 It was only felt in like tension and weirdness when 0:07:30.920 --> 0:07:32.560 my siblings and I would walk into the room and 0:07:32.600 --> 0:07:34.560 it was like the classic picture of like bills all 0:07:34.560 --> 0:07:38.640 over the table and like weird vibes with my parents. 0:07:39.040 --> 0:07:42.240 So money was never part of my life really except 0:07:42.280 --> 0:07:46.600 for like background tension. Cut to I'm in my mid twenties, 0:07:47.240 --> 0:07:49.520 i am in New York City trying to be a 0:07:49.560 --> 0:07:53.480 magazine editor remember those, remember magazines? And so I was 0:07:53.600 --> 0:07:56.200 very broke, and I was in like twelve thousand dollars 0:07:56.240 --> 0:07:59.200 a credit card debt, forty eight thousand dollars thirty eight 0:07:59.200 --> 0:08:02.880 forty eight thousand dollars of student loan debt, and I, 0:08:03.000 --> 0:08:05.120 like everyone else around, it was just like, I guess 0:08:05.160 --> 0:08:06.600 I'm just gonna die broke. 0:08:06.840 --> 0:08:09.120 L l la la la. 0:08:09.240 --> 0:08:12.640 I started to think through, like what would it take 0:08:13.160 --> 0:08:15.360 to take down my credit card debt? So I started, 0:08:15.400 --> 0:08:18.800 like I always use the classic gif of like, you know, 0:08:18.880 --> 0:08:22.120 like the cat at a keyboard going like this, like 0:08:22.160 --> 0:08:23.200 tapping at a keyboard. 0:08:23.320 --> 0:08:25.880 That was me being like what is budgeting? 0:08:26.040 --> 0:08:29.080 Like how would I theoretically get rid of this credit 0:08:29.120 --> 0:08:32.400 card debt? And this is kind of where my journey started. 0:08:32.440 --> 0:08:35.520 It wasn't necessarily what I was learning. What I was 0:08:35.600 --> 0:08:38.000 learning was really it was mind blowing because we don't 0:08:38.080 --> 0:08:40.640 get taught this stuff in school. It's really just a 0:08:40.679 --> 0:08:42.680 matter of whether you can access the information and if 0:08:42.720 --> 0:08:45.400 you can understand the information. So I was like, where 0:08:45.440 --> 0:08:48.040 was all this information about budgeting and credit card interest 0:08:48.120 --> 0:08:50.920 rates and debt payoff plans? Like we don't learn any 0:08:50.960 --> 0:08:51.319 of this stuff? 0:08:51.320 --> 0:08:51.959 How come I have to. 0:08:51.920 --> 0:08:54.680 Google it to find out. That was one thing that 0:08:54.720 --> 0:08:57.560 made me angry. But the second thing that made me go, Okay, 0:08:57.840 --> 0:09:00.200 I think I need to start learning this stuff is 0:09:00.240 --> 0:09:01.760 the fact that, and I know I've said this to 0:09:01.760 --> 0:09:03.360 you many times, I say this on the internet all 0:09:03.360 --> 0:09:07.560 the time. I saw that all the educator, so many 0:09:07.600 --> 0:09:12.880 of our financial education idols were Hella, male, Hella, Pale, Hella, Stale. 0:09:12.920 --> 0:09:15.680 I am from the California Bay Area. I will say 0:09:15.720 --> 0:09:19.080 Hella at every opportunity. You can't stop me. So that 0:09:19.160 --> 0:09:20.880 was it was the two things that really got me like, 0:09:20.960 --> 0:09:24.439 oh heck no. Was one the inaccessibility to the information 0:09:24.559 --> 0:09:27.240 and how it was like a foreign language financial education, 0:09:27.840 --> 0:09:30.880 and to the fact that there were so few women 0:09:31.120 --> 0:09:35.040 and even less women of color in the financial education space. 0:09:35.240 --> 0:09:38.720 But one thing that changed everything is I met somebody 0:09:38.760 --> 0:09:44.200 named Tiffany Aali Check. Someone recommended Tiffany to me, and 0:09:44.240 --> 0:09:46.480 I was like, what's this person all about? And I 0:09:46.600 --> 0:09:50.080 vividly remember I was sitting on my bed and my 0:09:50.120 --> 0:09:52.040 partner at the time was like putting away clothes and 0:09:52.080 --> 0:09:53.720 he was like, what are you laughing at? And I 0:09:53.760 --> 0:09:56.040 was like, I'm on a Facebook live of this woman 0:09:56.120 --> 0:09:58.920 named Tiffany, and she's talking about I think you were 0:09:58.920 --> 0:10:00.920 talking about like mortgage. I was like, this is so 0:10:01.000 --> 0:10:03.240 irrelevant to my life, Like I just that week's topic 0:10:03.240 --> 0:10:05.199 happened to not be relevant to my debt payoff plan. 0:10:05.240 --> 0:10:07.480 But I was like, why am I sitting here listening 0:10:07.480 --> 0:10:11.359 to this woman talk about mortgages. I'm just like enraptured. 0:10:11.559 --> 0:10:13.880 You were the first person to make me go, wait, 0:10:13.880 --> 0:10:15.840 we can be funny and in. 0:10:15.760 --> 0:10:17.240 Financial education at the same time. 0:10:17.440 --> 0:10:19.240 Why do I feel like I'm just like on Skype 0:10:19.240 --> 0:10:21.960 with my bestie, Like this is so great. That really 0:10:22.040 --> 0:10:24.240 changed things for me too. So I started sharing my 0:10:24.280 --> 0:10:28.679 debt payoff journey internet things, you know, video and things 0:10:28.720 --> 0:10:30.200 grew and we're here. 0:10:31.000 --> 0:10:32.840 Yeah, that's awesome, awesome, awesome. 0:10:33.160 --> 0:10:38.680 So how did you go from that to like, okay now, 0:10:38.840 --> 0:10:42.280 because ultimately a book is just another tool for education. Yes, 0:10:42.320 --> 0:10:44.079 you know, when did you decide, you know what, I 0:10:44.120 --> 0:10:45.440 want to put my ideas into a book? 0:10:45.480 --> 0:10:47.360 Were you just approach and you never thought about it? 0:10:47.920 --> 0:10:48.040 Like? 0:10:48.080 --> 0:10:49.680 What was that process like for you? 0:10:50.800 --> 0:10:54.040 This was I keep telling people I got into my 0:10:54.080 --> 0:10:57.080 book deal kind of butt backwards. But maybe this was 0:10:57.200 --> 0:11:00.560 seeded by my childhood self. I wanted to be a writer. 0:11:00.720 --> 0:11:03.680 When I first kind of like I don't know, became sentient, 0:11:03.960 --> 0:11:06.080 like understood what it meant to have a job. I 0:11:06.120 --> 0:11:08.840 was like, I want to write, but of course I 0:11:08.840 --> 0:11:11.400 have immigrant parents. And if you have immigrant parents, you know, 0:11:11.480 --> 0:11:14.600 writer is not on the table, especially for Asian Filipino 0:11:14.600 --> 0:11:17.880 American kids. I keep joking that you have four choices 0:11:18.280 --> 0:11:19.080 when you are. 0:11:21.080 --> 0:11:27.160 Nigerian doctor, lawyer, check, engineer, yes, pharmacist. 0:11:27.559 --> 0:11:30.200 Well, I was gonna say, the last one is always disappointment. 0:11:31.600 --> 0:11:33.760 To me. The fifth one is drug dealer. For Nigenists, 0:11:33.920 --> 0:11:36.840 they're like, hey, so yeah, a drug dealer. I'm like, 0:11:36.880 --> 0:11:37.400 I'm a teacher. 0:11:37.440 --> 0:11:40.800 They're like drug dealer, drug dealer, A drug dealer is 0:11:40.840 --> 0:11:43.040 the catch all for everything that's embarrassing to them. 0:11:43.120 --> 0:11:47.400 Yeah, exactly, And even like in the last few years 0:11:47.400 --> 0:11:49.679 describing my career to my parents, they're like, you do 0:11:49.840 --> 0:11:51.840 what with the same tone as if I was like 0:11:51.920 --> 0:11:54.600 ideal drug father, That's what I do. 0:11:55.240 --> 0:11:59.800 It's like doctor, lawyer, engineer, disappointment and so writer. I 0:12:00.000 --> 0:12:02.120 think was taken off the table pretty early when I 0:12:02.200 --> 0:12:05.040 was younger, and I sort of like went around and 0:12:05.080 --> 0:12:08.200 pursued like pr and marketing, and things like that. But 0:12:08.240 --> 0:12:11.400 I'd always wanted to write fast Forward again to you know, 0:12:11.440 --> 0:12:15.080 being a content creator, putting up videos, doing speaking gigs. 0:12:15.640 --> 0:12:19.600 I had hired an agent to help me with sorting 0:12:19.640 --> 0:12:23.560 through you know, these inquiries and negotiating and everything I 0:12:23.600 --> 0:12:25.040 took time. I was like, I want to I want 0:12:25.040 --> 0:12:26.920 to agent up with with a woman of color and 0:12:26.960 --> 0:12:30.600 an independent agency, because this is this is distribution of wealth, 0:12:30.640 --> 0:12:32.160 like this is who I want to build my like 0:12:32.200 --> 0:12:35.559 financial ecosystem with. And then a month after we signed 0:12:35.559 --> 0:12:38.440 on together, my agent, Tabia was like, so I was 0:12:38.480 --> 0:12:42.640 approached by HarperCollins and I was like, ar And they 0:12:42.679 --> 0:12:45.280 were like, they're looking for someone to write a financial 0:12:45.400 --> 0:12:48.200 education book for young people specifically, like would you be 0:12:48.280 --> 0:12:51.240 interested in that? And I feel like my eleven to 0:12:51.440 --> 0:12:54.400 like seven to eleven year old self was like, oh yes, 0:12:55.559 --> 0:13:00.520 very interested. They had a outline for what wanted the 0:13:00.520 --> 0:13:03.480 book to have, and they already kind of had ideas 0:13:03.480 --> 0:13:05.320 for like a title, and I saw it and I 0:13:05.360 --> 0:13:08.839 was like oh no, oh no, no, no, no, no no no. 0:13:09.880 --> 0:13:12.400 There was this sort of like your Teen's Guide to 0:13:12.480 --> 0:13:14.920 I was like, uh uh no, ma'am, none of that. 0:13:15.000 --> 0:13:18.679 Because I worked for seventeen magazine. I worked for the 0:13:18.760 --> 0:13:22.000 YMCA and lots of other teen programs, after school programs 0:13:22.000 --> 0:13:24.440 in camps in New York City. The worst thing you 0:13:24.480 --> 0:13:27.160 can do, especially in terms of media, is call it 0:13:27.280 --> 0:13:30.440 teen a teen Teens guide to I was, okay, we 0:13:30.520 --> 0:13:32.640 need I need to bring YMCA burn it into this 0:13:32.679 --> 0:13:33.839 and be like here's how I would do it. Here's 0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:36.160 how I would restructure all the information to get rid 0:13:36.200 --> 0:13:37.960 of this. Put more of this. And they were like, 0:13:38.280 --> 0:13:39.560 do you want to write it? And I was like, 0:13:39.880 --> 0:13:43.840 I do, absolutely do. That's that's how we got to 0:13:44.320 --> 0:13:46.920 the book deal specifically, and I was just psyched, like 0:13:47.160 --> 0:13:50.040 this has been a very full circle healing moment for 0:13:50.120 --> 0:13:50.760 my inner self. 0:13:51.400 --> 0:13:52.280 No, I love that. 0:13:52.400 --> 0:13:54.360 So Money out Loud you would say, like, who is 0:13:54.400 --> 0:13:58.680 the ideal like reader for Money out Loud? And you know, 0:13:58.840 --> 0:14:01.280 is it just the young teen or is it a 0:14:01.320 --> 0:14:03.320 parent of a teen? Is it the aunties of you know? Like, 0:14:03.559 --> 0:14:05.400 who would you love to see pick this book up 0:14:05.400 --> 0:14:05.959 off the shelf? 0:14:06.640 --> 0:14:09.719 Oh, my absolute number one audience. It's two people. In 0:14:09.760 --> 0:14:14.040 my mind, it is the anyone who identifies with the 0:14:14.240 --> 0:14:19.120 rich auntie and that is of any age of any generation. 0:14:19.880 --> 0:14:22.160 But the person in my mind, next to the rich 0:14:22.160 --> 0:14:24.880 auntie holding my book has given a second copy to 0:14:25.120 --> 0:14:28.080 the young person that they want to inspire. I really 0:14:28.120 --> 0:14:31.360 wrote this as a letter to my sixteen year old self, 0:14:31.480 --> 0:14:34.160 really like a letter to my nieces. I have four nieces, 0:14:34.560 --> 0:14:38.200 all between the ages of twenty three and two, and 0:14:38.520 --> 0:14:40.840 this was me writing a book to them. And so 0:14:40.920 --> 0:14:44.520 my ideal audience is anyone who considers themselves a mentor 0:14:44.960 --> 0:14:48.160 and also understands that no matter what age you're at, 0:14:48.200 --> 0:14:51.280 you were probably failed by the financial education system. So 0:14:51.320 --> 0:14:52.760 I don't want anyone to feel like, oh, it's a 0:14:52.760 --> 0:14:53.520 book for young people. 0:14:53.560 --> 0:14:54.080 It's not for me. 0:14:54.280 --> 0:14:56.920 It is for you, and my dream is to for 0:14:57.000 --> 0:14:58.800 you to also give it to a young person who 0:14:59.600 --> 0:15:01.320 like you, I wish you could do better by your 0:15:01.320 --> 0:15:03.280 younger self. So I'm going to pay it forward and 0:15:03.320 --> 0:15:05.800 give it to the newer generation so that they don't 0:15:05.800 --> 0:15:09.000 have to struggle like we did. I'm like it is 0:15:09.120 --> 0:15:14.040 very much an auntie and nibbling like mentor mentee kind 0:15:14.040 --> 0:15:14.560 of pairing. 0:15:14.640 --> 0:15:15.440 That's my ideal. 0:15:16.120 --> 0:15:16.680 I love that. 0:15:16.920 --> 0:15:19.600 So one of the things I love about Money out Loud. 0:15:19.600 --> 0:15:21.800 First of all, the cover is everything all right, thank you? 0:15:22.360 --> 0:15:23.960 I love how you advocated. You know, I know all 0:15:23.960 --> 0:15:26.160 the stuff behind the scenes about Berna, but I love 0:15:26.200 --> 0:15:29.320 how you advocated for yourself for the cover. Yes, you know, 0:15:30.080 --> 0:15:31.480 you were the opposite of me. I was like, I 0:15:31.480 --> 0:15:35.800 don't want to be on I don't want to be. 0:15:35.000 --> 0:15:36.640 Well you being on your cover and made me go 0:15:36.760 --> 0:15:39.000 like that is so impactful. I'm sure a lot of 0:15:39.040 --> 0:15:41.280 the decisions of you being on the cover and all 0:15:41.280 --> 0:15:42.040 the positives. 0:15:42.360 --> 0:15:44.160 I'm like, yeah, it hit. 0:15:44.000 --> 0:15:45.840 Me because I'm like, how many women of color do 0:15:45.880 --> 0:15:48.000 you see on the cover of their own money books? 0:15:48.000 --> 0:15:49.720 And so that was something that we fought. 0:15:49.480 --> 0:15:51.240 For, so yours is like super fun. 0:15:51.280 --> 0:15:53.720 And then also too, what I really really love is 0:15:53.720 --> 0:15:56.680 that like there's so many awesome illustrations in this book 0:15:56.720 --> 0:15:59.920 and they're so fun, you know, so like if I 0:16:00.600 --> 0:16:04.280 was a young aunt, which aunty, which I am actually aunty, 0:16:05.200 --> 0:16:08.120 and so I just love, you know, I enjoy reading. 0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:10.760 Go to Barns and Nobles, pick a book off the shelf. 0:16:10.880 --> 0:16:12.520 I will do the flip, you know, the book flip 0:16:12.560 --> 0:16:14.600 when you look in and I'm like, if you do 0:16:14.680 --> 0:16:18.360 the book flip here, You're like, wait a minute, there's like, 0:16:18.440 --> 0:16:21.680 you know, there's illustrations it just looks fun, it doesn't 0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:24.920 look overwhelming. I just love that you included and like 0:16:24.960 --> 0:16:27.480 there's all these drawings of Berna so you can see 0:16:27.480 --> 0:16:30.280 this brown girl with big curly hair. Yeah, you know, 0:16:31.160 --> 0:16:33.680 and I just love like you know, you're always giving encouragement, 0:16:33.680 --> 0:16:34.440 like this one that says. 0:16:34.320 --> 0:16:36.960 When I say community, you say care. I love that. 0:16:38.760 --> 0:16:41.200 I had to step into the hype woman of it 0:16:41.240 --> 0:16:43.320 all and I have to give all the flowers to 0:16:43.440 --> 0:16:49.280 Monique Sterling. She is our illustrator. Incredible when my publisher 0:16:49.360 --> 0:16:52.080 was like, let's get an illustrator on this. Here's Monique 0:16:52.080 --> 0:16:55.960 Sterling's portfolio, and Monique had done a bunch of illustration 0:16:56.080 --> 0:17:00.280 also for BPOC authors who are writing specifically towards like 0:17:00.440 --> 0:17:04.000 racial justice and just like very like focusing in on 0:17:04.080 --> 0:17:06.440 like here are authors who don't typically get to be authors. 0:17:06.520 --> 0:17:09.480 I was like, ah, Monique, yes, And it was wonderful 0:17:09.480 --> 0:17:11.320 to work together because we're like, how do I how 0:17:11.320 --> 0:17:14.800 do I portray that in me? And cartoon form is 0:17:14.880 --> 0:17:18.520 brown and has big curly hair, but also is not like, 0:17:19.040 --> 0:17:21.840 you know, I'm I'm Filipina, you know, like I'm not 0:17:22.000 --> 0:17:24.000 coding that I am a black woman with like an Afro. 0:17:24.080 --> 0:17:25.400 There are some moments where we're. 0:17:25.280 --> 0:17:29.199 Like, oh, hold up, let's not let's not misrepresent but 0:17:29.240 --> 0:17:31.879 I do want people to see my hair and my skin. 0:17:32.160 --> 0:17:34.320 And I'm like lunging and yeah, we wanted to make 0:17:34.359 --> 0:17:34.720 it fun. 0:17:35.359 --> 0:17:37.080 No, I love it. Like, first of all, first of all, 0:17:37.160 --> 0:17:40.280 this is fre the interlu tax party, taxes, don't know her. 0:17:40.520 --> 0:17:43.600 I'm like, yo, honestly, this book is like a party 0:17:43.680 --> 0:17:45.480 and a financial party in a book. 0:17:45.800 --> 0:17:48.800 Thank you, and that that chapter specifically, we're like textbuer, 0:17:48.800 --> 0:17:49.879 I'm like, let's put balloons. 0:17:50.160 --> 0:17:52.040 Yeah, that's like what where would you see? Like you 0:17:52.040 --> 0:17:53.800 see that and you're like, what is she talking about? 0:17:54.440 --> 0:17:55.120 Is it taxes? 0:17:55.400 --> 0:17:56.040 Let's find out? 0:17:56.160 --> 0:17:57.679 Wait, hold that thought, Berna. 0:17:58.119 --> 0:18:01.560 We are going to pay some bills and do a 0:18:01.560 --> 0:18:05.200 little break for a moment, and we're. 0:18:04.920 --> 0:18:08.920 Back and black and brown. Let's resume. 0:18:09.160 --> 0:18:10.720 I can't remember the first time that I saw you, 0:18:10.800 --> 0:18:12.640 but I don't know if you were alive or think 0:18:12.680 --> 0:18:14.040 it was just maybe you were doing like a series 0:18:14.040 --> 0:18:16.040 of videos and I was like, oh my gosh, she 0:18:16.240 --> 0:18:19.800 is so silly and so fun and so wild because 0:18:19.840 --> 0:18:22.600 I think because when I came into this space, I 0:18:22.760 --> 0:18:26.720 was really nervous about being myself. I actually slipped up. 0:18:26.840 --> 0:18:28.960 It was myself, and that's how it came out. Like 0:18:29.240 --> 0:18:32.119 up until that, neverody was like, oh, very serious Tiffany. Hi, guys, 0:18:32.119 --> 0:18:34.800 we're gonna learn this. And so all my early if 0:18:34.800 --> 0:18:36.639 you go to my YouTube channel, all my early YouTube 0:18:36.720 --> 0:18:39.560 videos is very serious Tiffany, fake serious, because that is not. 0:18:40.480 --> 0:18:42.720 And then one time I was live and I think, 0:18:42.760 --> 0:18:45.200 I don't know what happened. Everything that could go wrong 0:18:45.240 --> 0:18:47.080 was all my My bonus started had come into the 0:18:47.160 --> 0:18:49.600 room and I was asking her to close the door 0:18:49.600 --> 0:18:51.840 because at the time she was like young. And then 0:18:52.000 --> 0:18:54.800 I kept saying like I think like Alyssa, and Alexa 0:18:54.880 --> 0:18:56.879 kept saying yeah, and I'm like, so I'm trying to 0:18:56.960 --> 0:19:00.920 keep it together, like not you, Alexa, Alyssa, and you go, yeah, 0:19:01.080 --> 0:19:05.200 what you. So finally I was like god, damn it. 0:19:08.320 --> 0:19:09.920 And that is when I entered the room and it 0:19:10.040 --> 0:19:14.040 was like this is my person and I didn't realize. 0:19:14.080 --> 0:19:15.680 I looked at the camera and I was like, wait, 0:19:15.840 --> 0:19:18.240 I shold myself. I tried to go back to fake phony, 0:19:18.720 --> 0:19:22.800 serious Tiffany, but the comments went crazy yes, and it 0:19:23.040 --> 0:19:27.840 was like what my therapist calls a corrective experience. You know, 0:19:28.000 --> 0:19:30.520 you tell yourself, you know, if I go left, I 0:19:30.520 --> 0:19:31.160 bump my toe. 0:19:31.240 --> 0:19:32.520 If I go left, I butt my toe. 0:19:32.560 --> 0:19:35.399 And then one day you go left and you don't, 0:19:35.440 --> 0:19:39.080 and you're like, oh, like just because turning left is 0:19:39.119 --> 0:19:42.359 not a precursor for bubbing my toe. So I thought 0:19:42.359 --> 0:19:45.680 like success had to come from serious. Success is serious. 0:19:45.920 --> 0:19:48.119 And then one day, you know, I slipped up and 0:19:48.160 --> 0:19:50.320 I wasn't serious, and it was like I got this 0:19:50.440 --> 0:19:54.560 immediate reaction of like, we like this, Tiffany. And so 0:19:54.600 --> 0:19:58.160 as a result, it corrected that experience for me to say, wait, 0:19:58.280 --> 0:20:02.200 can I be myself? And then you know, bring people 0:20:02.200 --> 0:20:05.520 into the room still. And so when like did you 0:20:05.560 --> 0:20:07.679 start off when you first started, like, hey, Bernard, did 0:20:07.720 --> 0:20:09.240 you start off like fully being yourself? 0:20:09.359 --> 0:20:11.040 Did you have to grow into it like when you 0:20:11.080 --> 0:20:12.760 started to be more publicly facing. 0:20:13.560 --> 0:20:17.080 I think I didn't have to spend too much more 0:20:17.119 --> 0:20:19.680 time going into it, because honestly, creators like you made 0:20:19.720 --> 0:20:22.399 me go like I was seeing other financial creators be 0:20:22.520 --> 0:20:24.520 the serious and I was like, okay, and this is 0:20:24.560 --> 0:20:25.560 where I'm just a learner. 0:20:25.560 --> 0:20:26.280 I'm just a learner. 0:20:26.280 --> 0:20:29.280 I'm just sort of like synthesizing my education in my 0:20:29.359 --> 0:20:31.840 own little private Google doc and great, and I'm just 0:20:31.880 --> 0:20:35.720 a student. When I saw folks like yourself bring the personality, 0:20:35.840 --> 0:20:38.760 and not only was that more entertaining for me, but 0:20:38.800 --> 0:20:41.879 it made the education go down differently. It was like 0:20:41.920 --> 0:20:44.960 the spoonful of medicine or a spoonful of sugar makes 0:20:45.000 --> 0:20:49.040 some medicine go down. I was like, oh, this is impactful. Also, 0:20:49.440 --> 0:20:52.720 I'm nuts like could this help? Could this help people learn? 0:20:53.359 --> 0:20:56.760 And so when I started sharing my financial journey, my 0:20:56.800 --> 0:21:01.160 like debt payoff journey, my like budget building journey, I'm 0:21:01.480 --> 0:21:04.240 naturally inside. I'm a child, like my inner child is 0:21:04.359 --> 0:21:06.640 very is its right friend and center all that she's 0:21:07.160 --> 0:21:09.760 at the control center always. And so in order for 0:21:09.800 --> 0:21:11.679 me to learn anything, I have to translate for my 0:21:11.720 --> 0:21:15.400 inner child. And that's how I started sharing my information, 0:21:15.600 --> 0:21:19.600 just like, so interest is this, Here's the like Investipedia 0:21:19.840 --> 0:21:23.399 kind of Miriam Webster's dictionary. Here's how I would explain 0:21:23.480 --> 0:21:25.720 it to my inner five year old people, I feel 0:21:25.720 --> 0:21:27.880 like other people's inner five year old was like, now 0:21:27.960 --> 0:21:31.639 I get it, Now I understand. And so it was 0:21:31.840 --> 0:21:34.320 it was you open the door for so many of 0:21:34.400 --> 0:21:36.560 us to be like, oh, like I can be myself 0:21:37.200 --> 0:21:39.800 and then I realized the more I am myself, the 0:21:39.800 --> 0:21:42.359 more I speak to a different level of people. Like 0:21:42.600 --> 0:21:44.879 so many of us, especially be IPOC, we understand what 0:21:44.920 --> 0:21:47.400 it's like to be talked at from the like wha 0:21:47.560 --> 0:21:49.800 our professional voice and like our professional selves are like 0:21:49.880 --> 0:21:52.320 I'm talking back to you in the professional selves. But 0:21:52.400 --> 0:21:54.800 when we're ourselves, like when you and I as creators 0:21:54.840 --> 0:21:58.240 are ourselves, we get under that layer and it's like, oh, 0:21:58.520 --> 0:22:01.560 that's how I yell at alexa at Like that's you know, 0:22:01.600 --> 0:22:03.840 that metaphor that Burnham made is something that's the way 0:22:03.840 --> 0:22:05.239 that like I would explain it to my five year 0:22:05.240 --> 0:22:07.520 old self, It just like it digs in deeper, and 0:22:07.840 --> 0:22:09.680 I want to always stay in that level. So it 0:22:10.520 --> 0:22:12.639 was freeing for me to see creators like you do that, 0:22:13.000 --> 0:22:14.399 And the more that I do it, the more that 0:22:14.440 --> 0:22:18.000 I was like making silly metaphors and skits and characters 0:22:18.560 --> 0:22:21.560 and seeing that people were being entertained and learning. At 0:22:21.600 --> 0:22:23.919 the same time, I was like, great, I found my pocket, 0:22:24.000 --> 0:22:25.600 Like I don't have to hide my inner child. She 0:22:25.800 --> 0:22:28.960 actually is a big part of the impact that I make. 0:22:29.080 --> 0:22:30.480 So she's she's a CEO. 0:22:31.400 --> 0:22:36.400 So we all know that there are so many ills 0:22:36.560 --> 0:22:40.320 that that we people of color have to navigate because 0:22:40.920 --> 0:22:43.080 of the state of our personal finances and the state 0:22:43.119 --> 0:22:45.200 of the way the world looks at us and the 0:22:45.200 --> 0:22:48.680 the world interacts with us via the economy and our 0:22:48.880 --> 0:22:49.800 in our finances. 0:22:49.840 --> 0:22:53.040 Like, what problem do you hope to solve with hey, Berna? 0:22:53.680 --> 0:22:57.399 For me, I hope to help to start to close 0:22:57.400 --> 0:23:01.240 the racial wealth gap, specifically through black women, right, And 0:23:01.280 --> 0:23:03.119 so I don't turn anyone away, but that's like my 0:23:03.200 --> 0:23:05.280 core deliverable, Like I want to help black women get 0:23:05.280 --> 0:23:08.400 on financial track because through black women you help black men. 0:23:08.520 --> 0:23:09.879 Through black women, you help black children. 0:23:09.880 --> 0:23:11.800 Through black women, you help the black family and communities, 0:23:11.840 --> 0:23:14.320 and then the communities at large benefit overall. 0:23:14.720 --> 0:23:15.960 Right, So what. 0:23:17.520 --> 0:23:21.000 Problem are you hoping to solve or at least take 0:23:21.520 --> 0:23:23.560 stally start to chip away at. 0:23:24.200 --> 0:23:27.320 Yes, Okay, So I think in I feel like there's 0:23:27.320 --> 0:23:29.240 a woo wuo problem and then like a technical problem 0:23:29.320 --> 0:23:31.480 that I'm hoping to solve. I think the woo woo 0:23:31.560 --> 0:23:35.479 problem is the feel is the sense that a lot 0:23:35.520 --> 0:23:37.520 of people don't feel like they belong in the financial 0:23:37.520 --> 0:23:40.760 conversation at all. And I think I've shared this metaphor 0:23:40.760 --> 0:23:43.239 with you before, but One of my favorite sort of 0:23:43.280 --> 0:23:45.719 impacts that effects that I feel like my work has 0:23:45.760 --> 0:23:48.600 had is it's like you're at a party, or like 0:23:48.640 --> 0:23:51.119 your friend invites you to a house party, but you 0:23:51.160 --> 0:23:53.240 go without your friend. You like arrive late, so you 0:23:53.280 --> 0:23:55.840 come by yourself and you walk into the door and 0:23:55.880 --> 0:23:58.240 you're like, okay, like the party's already started. You don't 0:23:58.280 --> 0:24:00.480 really know anyone, you don't see anyone you know, but 0:24:00.560 --> 0:24:03.000 everyone's having a good time, and you're like this is intimidating. 0:24:03.040 --> 0:24:04.560 You're like, is everybody looking at me? I don't think 0:24:04.600 --> 0:24:07.760 I belong here. It's loud, I don't see my friend. 0:24:08.040 --> 0:24:09.840 And then you're like, you know what if I just leave, 0:24:10.320 --> 0:24:11.879 no one's gonna know, and my friend's not gonna know. 0:24:11.880 --> 0:24:14.399 I'm just gonna get out of here. But then your 0:24:14.440 --> 0:24:17.320 friend sees you and they're like, oh my god, Like Tiffany, 0:24:17.640 --> 0:24:19.760 you're here, thank God, Like you made it. Okay, let 0:24:19.760 --> 0:24:21.679 me show you around. Here's where you put your jacket, 0:24:21.800 --> 0:24:23.959 avoid these people. This is where you get the drinks. 0:24:24.000 --> 0:24:27.440 That guy sucks whatever. And then you like you joined 0:24:27.440 --> 0:24:29.320 the party. But then later on in the night, you 0:24:29.400 --> 0:24:31.600 got comfortable you've made friends. You might lose that friend again. 0:24:31.640 --> 0:24:34.800 But it's fine because you've already been introduced. You were 0:24:34.800 --> 0:24:37.280 brought in by someone who made you feel welcome, you 0:24:37.359 --> 0:24:40.480 were like oriented, and now you're having a great night 0:24:40.560 --> 0:24:43.320 even without that person. That is what I want to 0:24:43.320 --> 0:24:45.080 be for the financial world. I want to be the 0:24:45.080 --> 0:24:48.080 person that's like, hey, you're here, you belong here. I'm 0:24:48.119 --> 0:24:50.399 so happy you're here, I'm glad. Let me just make 0:24:50.440 --> 0:24:53.520 you feel comfortable. Let me orient you to a different 0:24:53.560 --> 0:24:56.440 financial world where you don't have to listen to hell 0:24:56.480 --> 0:24:59.640 a male, stale, pale dudes gaslight you out of your 0:24:59.680 --> 0:25:03.200 financi reality and let me bring you in. And that 0:25:03.240 --> 0:25:05.480 effect I think is so impactful. Even if after that 0:25:06.240 --> 0:25:09.360 they never like engage in my content again. They might 0:25:09.359 --> 0:25:12.120 buy money out Loud, but that is then the impetus 0:25:12.119 --> 0:25:13.800 for them to buy a whole bunch of other financial 0:25:13.840 --> 0:25:16.000 books that speak to them and go down all these 0:25:16.000 --> 0:25:18.680 other financial rabbit holes and find a Tiffany or find 0:25:18.680 --> 0:25:21.360 anyone else that they're like, oh, this is me furthering 0:25:21.359 --> 0:25:23.920 my education. I'm happy to be the bouncer. I'm happy 0:25:23.960 --> 0:25:25.879 to be the person that brought them in, the orientation leader. 0:25:25.920 --> 0:25:29.360 I guess I love that, Okay, yes, absolutely. And then 0:25:29.720 --> 0:25:31.760 the technical thing is And this is something that I've 0:25:31.800 --> 0:25:34.000 been talking a lot with my friend Yanelli, who also 0:25:34.080 --> 0:25:36.720 just came out with a financial education her yesterday. 0:25:36.920 --> 0:25:39.080 I'm ning her to her new book coming out. What 0:25:39.119 --> 0:25:40.760 the book k has So yes, I've been. 0:25:40.880 --> 0:25:42.360 Yes, she is incredible. 0:25:43.000 --> 0:25:45.679 She also works as I think it's like director of 0:25:45.920 --> 0:25:49.800 education at next Gen Personal Finance. They're working very hard 0:25:49.840 --> 0:25:54.159 on trying to pass as many financial education literacy laws 0:25:54.240 --> 0:25:56.000 in the country, because only I want to say, like 0:25:56.040 --> 0:25:58.520 twenty one to twenty two states have it mandatory. I 0:25:58.520 --> 0:26:01.120 know Tiffany has a budget niete the law in New Jersey. 0:26:01.440 --> 0:26:04.439 And I'm really hoping that this book can help become 0:26:04.880 --> 0:26:08.199 not necessarily part of the curriculum for financial education, but 0:26:08.320 --> 0:26:11.560 part of the push that financial education is important to 0:26:11.600 --> 0:26:15.000 start in middle school, in high school. Make it relevant, 0:26:15.000 --> 0:26:17.800 make it interesting, make it brown. I want to get 0:26:17.800 --> 0:26:19.920 this book in front of as many young b ipoc 0:26:20.160 --> 0:26:23.600 as possible for free. They should not have to shell 0:26:23.680 --> 0:26:26.800 out twenty book, twenty bucks or whatever or like go 0:26:27.119 --> 0:26:29.919 seeking this information. I want it to be at the 0:26:29.960 --> 0:26:32.600 in their classrooms, at the YMCA, in their after school programs. 0:26:33.560 --> 0:26:34.600 So I'm trying to do it for the youth. 0:26:35.080 --> 0:26:35.600 I love that. 0:26:35.760 --> 0:26:38.919 I love that so big, big, big. I want to 0:26:38.960 --> 0:26:42.919 welcome you in to financial education. You have a space 0:26:42.960 --> 0:26:45.119 in the place here. You're not only welcome, but you 0:26:45.119 --> 0:26:49.000 are important. And then you know, more concrete, you know, 0:26:49.119 --> 0:26:52.800 let's get financial education in the hands of young people, 0:26:52.880 --> 0:26:56.040 especially young people of color. Ideally, you know, your book 0:26:56.080 --> 0:27:00.359 being one of the core tools that people can use. Yes, 0:27:00.600 --> 0:27:02.399 love you see my recap, that's my teacher recap. 0:27:02.440 --> 0:27:03.119 See my recap? 0:27:03.320 --> 0:27:05.320 And beautiful is she a teacher? 0:27:05.359 --> 0:27:08.240 You should teach? Maybe you should go to education. Everything 0:27:08.280 --> 0:27:09.560 is like that, all. 0:27:09.560 --> 0:27:12.040 Right, Well let's talk more personal things, right, so Bernard, 0:27:12.080 --> 0:27:14.200 Like you know, for me, I'm always just like beyond, 0:27:14.320 --> 0:27:17.560 like business beyond, you know, like what you do, Like 0:27:18.160 --> 0:27:19.880 I don't know, like what is your. 0:27:20.800 --> 0:27:22.919 Like how do you want life to go for you? 0:27:23.000 --> 0:27:25.159 Like I'm just curious. This is just me, like mentor 0:27:25.200 --> 0:27:28.320 Tiffany asking you, like how is it? You know? 0:27:28.400 --> 0:27:30.159 I know you're doing this and you're doing well. But 0:27:30.160 --> 0:27:32.120 I've seen so many people who have totally checked out. 0:27:32.680 --> 0:27:34.040 I don't even know if you've noticed. Lately a lot 0:27:34.040 --> 0:27:38.280 of people literally have closed down their social media shops. 0:27:38.520 --> 0:27:42.040 That's been like a real trend of overwork and overwhelm. 0:27:42.400 --> 0:27:45.200 So I'm just curious, like what would you like to 0:27:45.240 --> 0:27:48.439 see for yourself in the next like two, five, ten years, 0:27:48.480 --> 0:27:50.080 Like what direction you want to go in? Like what 0:27:50.560 --> 0:27:52.040 are your big and small goals? 0:27:52.520 --> 0:27:56.320 Oh my gosh, great question and a wonderful time to 0:27:56.320 --> 0:27:58.680 ask it, because I'm after this after this week, I'm 0:27:58.680 --> 0:28:01.960 taking off like three weeks. It's my official like stop 0:28:02.000 --> 0:28:04.840 after the book tour. Like I keep I keep using 0:28:04.880 --> 0:28:08.560 the metaphor with my god, I'm drink every time I 0:28:08.560 --> 0:28:12.040 say metaphor. I keep using the metaphor with my therapist 0:28:12.080 --> 0:28:13.600 of just like you know, you're like running a race 0:28:13.640 --> 0:28:15.760 and you get you sprint across the finish line. But 0:28:15.840 --> 0:28:17.399 once you get across the finish line, you can't just 0:28:17.440 --> 0:28:20.400 stop right like you have to You have to run slower, 0:28:20.480 --> 0:28:21.720 and then you got a jog, and then you got 0:28:21.760 --> 0:28:24.800 to walk, and then you have to stop eventually and 0:28:24.840 --> 0:28:28.280 like drink water and eat food. My typical I feel 0:28:28.280 --> 0:28:30.360 like this is very first gen daughter of immigrant behavior. 0:28:30.400 --> 0:28:33.480 But if I don't check myself, I will jog, I 0:28:33.520 --> 0:28:35.520 will walk, and then I'll start jogging again. I might 0:28:35.560 --> 0:28:38.239 not even walk and I jog and then start sprinting, like, 0:28:38.960 --> 0:28:41.120 because all we know is to push and work and 0:28:41.200 --> 0:28:44.400 try and achieve. And so I'm trying to take this 0:28:44.440 --> 0:28:48.680 summer to practice differently, right, to like correct my behavior 0:28:49.200 --> 0:28:52.520 and actually give myself three weeks off in June and 0:28:52.560 --> 0:28:55.040 then give myself the whole rest of the summer to 0:28:55.200 --> 0:28:58.160 just go slow. For a lot of us, I imagine 0:28:58.160 --> 0:29:00.720 maybe this is true for parts of your business too, 0:29:00.720 --> 0:29:03.320 But there's like a nice summer slow down, and I'm 0:29:03.360 --> 0:29:06.560 like trying to lean into that. And what I want 0:29:06.600 --> 0:29:08.480 for like five to ten years from now, I just 0:29:08.520 --> 0:29:11.600 I want to be softer. I spent the first thirty 0:29:11.600 --> 0:29:14.560 three years of my first gen ass alpha daughter, app. 0:29:14.640 --> 0:29:17.360 Can I say, ass, Yeah, yeah, okay, get it. 0:29:17.960 --> 0:29:21.000 I spent the first thirty three years of my first 0:29:21.080 --> 0:29:24.800 gen ass alpha daughter of immigrants ass going hard and 0:29:24.840 --> 0:29:29.160 sprinting all the time and never never having a leisurely stroll. Right. 0:29:29.200 --> 0:29:30.800 I don't know how to do that, so I need 0:29:30.800 --> 0:29:33.280 to teach myself how to do that. And knowing that 0:29:33.320 --> 0:29:36.920 I've spent so much of this part of my life sprinting, 0:29:37.200 --> 0:29:38.760 what would the rest of my life look like if 0:29:38.800 --> 0:29:41.680 I went slow on purpose? What would it look like 0:29:41.680 --> 0:29:44.000 if I were soft and gentle to myself and took 0:29:44.080 --> 0:29:48.360 my time and like finally believed my own hype. I 0:29:48.400 --> 0:29:52.200 think part of why folks like me keep running even 0:29:52.200 --> 0:29:55.080 when we've accomplished so much is we don't let ourselves 0:29:55.080 --> 0:29:58.400 internalize or trust what we've already achieved, and we don't 0:29:58.440 --> 0:30:02.800 ever let ourselves like it kind of be on our own, 0:30:02.960 --> 0:30:05.040 like that's not even just hype, because that makes it 0:30:05.040 --> 0:30:08.120 sound like sort of helium. We don't let ourselves trust 0:30:08.160 --> 0:30:11.400 the foundation we've actually set and the work we've actually 0:30:11.440 --> 0:30:15.600 put behind us, and really kind of put trust in 0:30:15.840 --> 0:30:20.160 our own abilities that like already happened. I want to 0:30:20.200 --> 0:30:23.520 go soft and go slow. And the question I keep 0:30:23.560 --> 0:30:25.440 asking myself is like, what kind of abundance? 0:30:25.480 --> 0:30:25.640 I know? 0:30:25.640 --> 0:30:28.120 What kind of abundance can come up if I work 0:30:28.160 --> 0:30:31.080 my butt off? Like manically, I understand that very intimately. 0:30:31.520 --> 0:30:34.400 What kind of abundance can happen if I don't work 0:30:34.400 --> 0:30:35.040 my butt off? 0:30:35.360 --> 0:30:36.360 If I go slow? 0:30:36.560 --> 0:30:39.959 If when I mean no, I say no as opposed 0:30:39.960 --> 0:30:44.880 to you yes, because I'm scared you're gonna go away opportunity. Also, 0:30:44.920 --> 0:30:46.600 in a more tangible sense, I want to start working 0:30:46.600 --> 0:30:50.320 on this next summer. My dream as an entrepreneur has 0:30:50.400 --> 0:30:54.800 always been to work during the school year so that 0:30:54.920 --> 0:30:57.360 during the summertime I could take all my weeks off 0:30:57.400 --> 0:31:00.880 and be a summer camp auntie, go back and work 0:31:00.920 --> 0:31:05.280 at summer camps in any degree because I worked as 0:31:05.320 --> 0:31:09.760 a teen camp programs director for three years. I worked 0:31:09.760 --> 0:31:12.400 in the summer basically leading fifteen to seventeen year olds 0:31:12.400 --> 0:31:15.400 and doing like leadership programs at camps. Best job of 0:31:15.440 --> 0:31:21.240 my entire life, worst paid, probably the most physically stressful 0:31:21.240 --> 0:31:25.240 and maybe mentally stressful, but it all the light bulbs 0:31:25.240 --> 0:31:28.040 in my body light up when I'm at camp and 0:31:28.080 --> 0:31:31.240 I'm working with young people at an overnight summer camp 0:31:31.440 --> 0:31:34.640 who are specifically like young brown people who've never been 0:31:34.640 --> 0:31:36.880 to camp before. I never freaking touched a river, I 0:31:36.880 --> 0:31:40.200 never heard a frog like that. I'm doing all this 0:31:40.360 --> 0:31:43.080 so that I can disappear every summer and do like 0:31:43.160 --> 0:31:45.280 lead arts and crafts and campfire songs. 0:31:45.480 --> 0:31:46.320 I love that. 0:31:46.800 --> 0:31:49.440 I want it so bad, and I think I want 0:31:49.480 --> 0:31:52.680 to use this book as my vehicle to like launch 0:31:52.720 --> 0:31:55.800 myself into summer camps next summer and basically like you know, 0:31:55.960 --> 0:31:59.040 wave the book around and then also be like, okay, s'mores, Okay, 0:31:59.080 --> 0:31:59.640 let's tell me. 0:32:02.280 --> 0:32:05.320 I love that you've gotten so specific with it, because yes, 0:32:05.400 --> 0:32:07.920 you know, like sometimes we don't even know, like you 0:32:08.040 --> 0:32:09.640 work so hard to your point. 0:32:10.000 --> 0:32:11.400 I call it launch mode. You know. 0:32:11.600 --> 0:32:15.120 Like so if anybody's ever like launched a book or 0:32:15.120 --> 0:32:17.959 a business or whatever, you know, there's a certain energy 0:32:18.080 --> 0:32:22.480 that's brought on, hyper vigilance, hyperwork, and you know there's 0:32:22.480 --> 0:32:24.800 nothing wrong with that when you're launching the actual thing. 0:32:25.240 --> 0:32:28.320 But so many of us don't know how to deactivate 0:32:28.400 --> 0:32:30.480 launch mode. It's like there's nothing actually launching, and I'm 0:32:30.520 --> 0:32:34.040 going just as hard and fast, you know, exactly. 0:32:33.680 --> 0:32:36.600 Exactly, like you just live. Your default mode is launch mode. 0:32:36.600 --> 0:32:37.440 There's no relax. 0:32:37.640 --> 0:32:40.560 Like my business coach Kristen always gets mad at me 0:32:40.840 --> 0:32:43.880 because she's like, okay, Like she's like, Okay, you just 0:32:43.960 --> 0:32:45.880 launched this thing, you launched your membership, you did a 0:32:45.880 --> 0:32:48.000 week of classes, you launched a book. 0:32:48.120 --> 0:32:49.280 What are you going to do to relax? 0:32:49.320 --> 0:32:52.040 And I'm like, take a nap. She's like, Oh, that's 0:32:52.160 --> 0:32:54.800 that's a biological need. What else are you going to do? 0:32:54.800 --> 0:32:57.560 I'm like, epasta. She's like, that's also a biological need. 0:32:58.280 --> 0:33:00.800 What's indulgent that you're going to do? What's like, what's 0:33:01.000 --> 0:33:03.360 how are you going to treat yourself? And I blank, 0:33:03.560 --> 0:33:05.360 I literally cannot answer it. And I think so many 0:33:05.400 --> 0:33:07.560 of us are in that same position because all we 0:33:07.600 --> 0:33:10.600 know is launch and we don't know. We even like 0:33:10.640 --> 0:33:14.200 shy away from and run away from celebrating ourselves and 0:33:14.320 --> 0:33:16.360 giving ourselves the credit and things like that. And so 0:33:16.800 --> 0:33:19.360 I'm gonna try. I feel like a baby deer, like 0:33:19.480 --> 0:33:22.280 on wobbly legs trying it this summer and being like, 0:33:22.680 --> 0:33:25.440 what am I going to do for three weeks panic work? 0:33:27.080 --> 0:33:28.560 My business coach is like, and that's why we're going 0:33:28.600 --> 0:33:30.040 to structure your three weeks a little bit. 0:33:30.160 --> 0:33:31.600 Yeah, I'm gonna take your laptop away. 0:33:33.600 --> 0:33:37.280 Honestly, at my peak overwork and overwhelm, there was not 0:33:37.320 --> 0:33:39.240 a place I did not take my laptop. Literally, I 0:33:39.240 --> 0:33:42.120 would take my laptop food chopping. Yeah, no, because you 0:33:42.280 --> 0:33:43.080 never knew, girl. 0:33:43.120 --> 0:33:44.600 I was like, you never know. 0:33:46.360 --> 0:33:48.000 And there were times when I was in the aisle 0:33:48.040 --> 0:33:50.080 and I would take it out because my admin would 0:33:50.080 --> 0:33:51.840 text her, call me or whatever and be like, oh hey, Tippy, 0:33:52.040 --> 0:33:54.120 this is a contract you have to review as if 0:33:54.160 --> 0:33:56.280 she said or else the world is going to be 0:33:56.280 --> 0:33:58.880 bombed or something. Yeah, I'm like, girl, I think you 0:33:58.880 --> 0:34:00.240 can wait till you get home and you put the 0:34:00.280 --> 0:34:00.720 eggs up. 0:34:01.800 --> 0:34:03.720 But I would be like girls say less, and I 0:34:03.720 --> 0:34:06.720 would take out my laptop in the supermarket on my 0:34:06.840 --> 0:34:10.200 card and be like done and hot spot. I did not. 0:34:10.680 --> 0:34:13.600 I did not know I had a problem until I 0:34:13.640 --> 0:34:15.160 didn't think you would think that was it, but no, 0:34:15.280 --> 0:34:18.240 I remember distinctly. I was getting like my annual checkup, 0:34:19.080 --> 0:34:21.279 and I was like waiting in the doctor's office and 0:34:21.320 --> 0:34:22.960 I was wait, wearing you know, like I don't know, 0:34:23.040 --> 0:34:25.200 like you know, the little gown, just sitting waiting and 0:34:25.200 --> 0:34:26.920 I had my laptop on my life and I was working. 0:34:27.160 --> 0:34:29.200 So she yes, and I'm not totally normal, because girl, 0:34:29.200 --> 0:34:30.360 I want to wait ten fifteen minutes. 0:34:30.360 --> 0:34:31.080 What will I do with my. 0:34:31.120 --> 0:34:34.200 Hands literally forty five seconds of rest email. 0:34:34.560 --> 0:34:38.319 Meanwhile, not my cell phone, my laptop. So she comes in. 0:34:38.400 --> 0:34:40.360 So before before she came in, you know, like the 0:34:40.719 --> 0:34:43.239 nurse or I'm guessing us to know, she she you know, 0:34:43.280 --> 0:34:45.440 take your blood pressure, take your vitals, and they come 0:34:45.440 --> 0:34:46.719 in and then she was like, so. 0:34:48.239 --> 0:34:52.000 Your blood pressure is really high. 0:34:51.280 --> 0:34:55.120 And I was like really, I was like, yes, why 0:34:55.120 --> 0:34:58.080 I guess on hold on real quick, doctor just wrapping 0:34:58.120 --> 0:34:59.160 up this email and. 0:34:59.320 --> 0:35:02.520 Said what I was like, is it? 0:35:02.880 --> 0:35:05.160 She was like, this is the second time you come 0:35:05.160 --> 0:35:07.160 in and it's a little elevated. I was like, I 0:35:07.160 --> 0:35:09.160 think because I run up the stairs. She looked at 0:35:09.160 --> 0:35:10.759 the laptop and looked at me and was like, the 0:35:10.760 --> 0:35:11.640 delusion is real. 0:35:12.320 --> 0:35:12.520 Yes. 0:35:12.680 --> 0:35:15.440 It was like typically do you always work this much? 0:35:15.440 --> 0:35:17.000 I was like, no, it's just right now. You know, 0:35:17.040 --> 0:35:20.400 we have a project. And it didn't really click to me. 0:35:21.080 --> 0:35:23.880 I had I was in such a level of stress 0:35:24.680 --> 0:35:27.200 I did it. So I'll give you example. Like when 0:35:27.280 --> 0:35:30.520 I was in college, this like my first real like 0:35:30.640 --> 0:35:34.080 major crush. He said, smell smoke hellowed. I did not 0:35:34.120 --> 0:35:35.880 know this because I was like grew up super sheltered 0:35:36.000 --> 0:35:37.120 or whatever. I was like and no judgment. 0:35:37.440 --> 0:35:40.520 But I remember one time I was like, you seem 0:35:40.560 --> 0:35:42.600 weird today. Are you okay? He was like, oh, I'm 0:35:42.640 --> 0:35:47.960 not high. Wait what he was like, Oh no, I 0:35:47.960 --> 0:35:48.719 spoke a lot of we You. 0:35:48.719 --> 0:35:49.160 Didn't know that. 0:35:49.440 --> 0:35:52.279 I was like, I did not know. He's like, what 0:35:52.320 --> 0:35:53.840 do you think that smell was? I'm like, I do 0:35:53.960 --> 0:35:56.640 not know colone. 0:35:56.960 --> 0:36:01.760 So for me, I was so rested that when I wasn't, 0:36:01.840 --> 0:36:04.120 I was like, oh, because I'm not high meaning like 0:36:04.280 --> 0:36:07.239 I was. That was my when someone was like, is 0:36:07.239 --> 0:36:10.200 everything okay, Tiffany, it was like, wait, I didn't know 0:36:10.320 --> 0:36:12.160 I was so stressed. I did not know I was 0:36:12.200 --> 0:36:15.440 stressed because that was just life. I bet that was 0:36:15.760 --> 0:36:17.600 one time that said like some of you guys think 0:36:17.640 --> 0:36:20.040 your mourning people, but it's your anxiety waking you up. 0:36:21.040 --> 0:36:25.640 It read me for fifth because I, honestly I was 0:36:25.640 --> 0:36:27.440 wake up every morning at five. I was like, I 0:36:27.480 --> 0:36:28.920 don't I remember I used to prove myself I don't 0:36:28.920 --> 0:36:31.680 need an alarm clocks. I was like my internal clock 0:36:31.719 --> 0:36:35.280 fee up click, it's my anxiety, Like get up, girl, 0:36:36.760 --> 0:36:40.200 you don't get no. I honestly I don't care if 0:36:40.200 --> 0:36:42.520 I went to bed at one five o'clock, oh, to 0:36:42.520 --> 0:36:45.680 bed two five o'clock, like I could not sleep. Beyond that, 0:36:45.719 --> 0:36:48.160 I couldn't, and I thought that It was like, you know, 0:36:48.239 --> 0:36:49.520 I'm just working really hard. 0:36:49.560 --> 0:36:50.480 This is what it looks like. 0:36:51.000 --> 0:36:54.719 And I just worked myself into where it got so 0:36:54.880 --> 0:36:56.960 bad that she was like, Okay, I want you to 0:36:57.000 --> 0:37:00.319 take home this blood pressureroom like machine, and I want 0:37:00.320 --> 0:37:03.279 you every day to put in your numbers in the 0:37:03.280 --> 0:37:05.279 morning and the evening so I can see because I 0:37:05.320 --> 0:37:06.360 told her I'm not taking medicine. 0:37:06.360 --> 0:37:07.760 I'm not eighty girls not happy. 0:37:08.160 --> 0:37:09.759 Because I try to. I convent her. It's because I 0:37:09.840 --> 0:37:11.400 ran up the stairs. I'm just a little stress in 0:37:11.400 --> 0:37:13.320 this moment. But I'm good either way. She's like, okay, 0:37:13.480 --> 0:37:17.239 proven and so I'm almost positive at like like a 0:37:17.280 --> 0:37:19.839 healthy blood pressure is like one twenty over eighty. I mean, 0:37:19.880 --> 0:37:22.759 just let's see see what healthy blood pressure is. And 0:37:22.840 --> 0:37:26.200 so I took the machine home and child, let me 0:37:26.239 --> 0:37:30.960 see healthy blood I'm healthy. H We're googling it a girl, 0:37:31.000 --> 0:37:36.839 because Google knows healthy blood pressure, right, So yes, one 0:37:36.880 --> 0:37:42.600 twenty over eight, but it's considered healthy. Mine was saying 0:37:42.640 --> 0:37:44.920 like one sixty over hundred. I mean that's like go 0:37:45.000 --> 0:37:47.799 to the hospital now. And I remember being like, so 0:37:47.920 --> 0:37:49.200 the first time I did it was like one forty 0:37:49.200 --> 0:37:52.560 one fifty over like you know, like ninety or something. 0:37:52.600 --> 0:37:55.759 I was like, right, huh seems and I really was 0:37:55.760 --> 0:37:57.120 like uh, So I kept taking it. 0:37:57.320 --> 0:37:59.520 So finally my sister was home and I was like, girl, 0:38:00.560 --> 0:38:03.240 come come take this, come use this broken machine. 0:38:03.400 --> 0:38:04.640 Her said, one twenty over eighty. 0:38:04.680 --> 0:38:07.560 I was like, m So, my bonus daughter Lissa, who's 0:38:07.600 --> 0:38:10.799 like seven, that's the time, like fourteen, list come take 0:38:10.840 --> 0:38:13.480 this machine and it was like one twenty over eighty. 0:38:13.480 --> 0:38:15.319 I was like, and then I would take mine and 0:38:15.360 --> 0:38:17.520 it would be higher one sixty over set or something, 0:38:17.520 --> 0:38:19.440 and I'm like, this got to be broken. 0:38:19.480 --> 0:38:20.960 But only when I put it on my arm. I 0:38:21.040 --> 0:38:24.240 just I could not conceptualize how could my blood pressure 0:38:24.280 --> 0:38:26.399 be so because I was always perfect blood pressure girl 0:38:26.719 --> 0:38:29.600 in green health. And by then, by then I was 0:38:29.600 --> 0:38:31.560 like I was thirty pounds heavier than I am now, 0:38:31.600 --> 0:38:34.040 but I'm like I've been thick before, right, you know, 0:38:34.239 --> 0:38:36.279 And is it the weight? No? 0:38:36.920 --> 0:38:40.560 I was so stressed from how much work that I 0:38:40.600 --> 0:38:42.759 was doing. And I remember at the peak is when 0:38:42.760 --> 0:38:45.680 my business was making its most we had him ten 0:38:45.719 --> 0:38:48.759 million dollars that year. Wow, and we were like we 0:38:48.760 --> 0:38:52.120 were making the most and I felt physically the worst. 0:38:52.640 --> 0:38:52.879 Wow. 0:38:52.880 --> 0:38:56.279 I was like, you know, and it took I was 0:38:56.400 --> 0:38:59.480 on that space. It wasn't until really, like my husband 0:38:59.600 --> 0:39:02.480 draw pasay, that it like hit me like a ton 0:39:02.520 --> 0:39:05.640 of bricks, where it was like, what is this salt for? Again? 0:39:06.520 --> 0:39:10.440 Nothing is more clarifying than death, you know, And I 0:39:10.560 --> 0:39:14.440 just was like, I remember distinctly asking myself, You're going 0:39:14.480 --> 0:39:17.680 to have to choose between having the space to grieve 0:39:18.600 --> 0:39:23.239 or managing this health, Tiffany, because you actually don't have 0:39:23.760 --> 0:39:24.719 the energy for both. 0:39:25.040 --> 0:39:27.920 So if you want to have the space to grieve, 0:39:28.000 --> 0:39:28.480 I need. 0:39:28.360 --> 0:39:32.520 You to remove the stress, eat better, and start moving 0:39:32.520 --> 0:39:35.200 your body, because I need I need. I didn't have 0:39:35.280 --> 0:39:37.719 the energy to manage both, you know what I mean, Like, no, 0:39:37.880 --> 0:39:40.520 I can't be dragging like this, like heart that's not 0:39:40.600 --> 0:39:43.440 working when the heart is already broken, you know. And 0:39:43.520 --> 0:39:46.680 so I just it was in that moment. I went 0:39:46.680 --> 0:39:50.360 to Bali for two months, and there's like no sugar 0:39:50.400 --> 0:39:54.279 available unless you want to pine apple, and you know, 0:39:54.680 --> 0:39:56.960 outside is fresh and clean, and you're walking everywhere and 0:39:57.000 --> 0:39:58.920 the beach every day and swimming every day. And so 0:39:59.000 --> 0:40:02.759 I dropped like fifteen pounds from like grief as well 0:40:02.800 --> 0:40:06.160 as just like you know, like doing being better to myself. 0:40:06.239 --> 0:40:10.120 I came back and I totally reorganized my companies because 0:40:10.200 --> 0:40:12.080 there was just a lot of people that were working 0:40:12.120 --> 0:40:15.640 here that were awesome, nice people, but I just was 0:40:15.680 --> 0:40:18.759 like overpaying because just I wanted to overcompensate for women 0:40:18.800 --> 0:40:22.520 of color and like I just we had way more 0:40:22.520 --> 0:40:25.160 people than we needed. I was paying way more than 0:40:25.200 --> 0:40:28.080 what I what really that the company could bear, just 0:40:28.080 --> 0:40:31.319 because like I said, I want to overcompensate, and but 0:40:31.400 --> 0:40:33.479 it meant that I had to work really really hard 0:40:33.520 --> 0:40:37.000 to maintain that, and so I had to restructure the company. 0:40:37.320 --> 0:40:38.960 And now I can say my blood pressure is back 0:40:38.960 --> 0:40:41.560 to normal. I'm back to one twenty over eighty yay, 0:40:41.920 --> 0:40:45.160 down thirty pounds. And when I tell you, m I 0:40:45.239 --> 0:40:49.759 walk about an hour and some change every you know, 0:40:49.840 --> 0:40:55.759 every day, and I take a nap daily, and I 0:40:55.840 --> 0:40:58.120 do not overwork and overwhelm. I take about three months 0:40:58.120 --> 0:41:01.560 off a year. And like even now, I had, like today, 0:41:01.600 --> 0:41:03.520 I had like a team call and I call that 0:41:03.840 --> 0:41:04.920 I do walking calls. 0:41:05.400 --> 0:41:07.040 So I was like it was so nice outside. 0:41:07.040 --> 0:41:08.399 I was like, oh, you know, I'm gonna do the call, 0:41:08.440 --> 0:41:10.200 and y'all, you know, if you want to be on zoom, 0:41:10.239 --> 0:41:12.040 that's cute for you, but I will be on zoom 0:41:12.080 --> 0:41:14.920 dialing and then I'm mute because the birds are chirping, 0:41:14.920 --> 0:41:15.279 so lod. 0:41:15.200 --> 0:41:17.640 I'm like, all right, you're up next, logan mute. 0:41:17.960 --> 0:41:20.839 You know, and so you're like snow white in my head. 0:41:21.440 --> 0:41:26.200 But literally that's just the birds sucking. 0:41:26.400 --> 0:41:29.080 Sorry, but I realized that my bad habits were also 0:41:29.120 --> 0:41:32.080 pouring into the team because they were overworking as well too. 0:41:32.600 --> 0:41:34.319 And so I do the walking calls and I let 0:41:34.360 --> 0:41:35.799 them hear that because I let them know you can 0:41:35.840 --> 0:41:38.120 be outside too. I'm not mad at that unless you're 0:41:38.120 --> 0:41:41.960 physically presenting something, you can be outside. You can take 0:41:42.000 --> 0:41:43.440 your you know, you can take the call while you're 0:41:43.440 --> 0:41:47.120 getting your hair braided, you know, like and so yeah, 0:41:47.200 --> 0:41:49.000 I want that. So for all my mentees and things, 0:41:49.040 --> 0:41:51.600 I'm always leaning into just like you know, I want 0:41:51.680 --> 0:41:55.239 you life to meet you healthy, happy hole that what 0:41:55.239 --> 0:41:57.880 you're doing should be a tool for that, not the 0:41:57.880 --> 0:41:59.800 thing itself. I don't want you to be overworked and 0:41:59.840 --> 0:42:03.120 over and certainly, you know, book launch time. I understand 0:42:03.120 --> 0:42:05.000 that you have to launch, but I'm so glad you 0:42:05.040 --> 0:42:08.759 have a definitive I'm out of launch mode. And like 0:42:08.840 --> 0:42:11.839 the big sister in me is like, hey, you know, 0:42:12.040 --> 0:42:13.880 do you have a kind of like these do you 0:42:14.000 --> 0:42:15.840 Cause we talked about like after now the book, you 0:42:15.840 --> 0:42:18.120 know you're not in heavy launch mode. You know, hopefully 0:42:18.160 --> 0:42:21.200 you have like a warming pot where the book continues 0:42:21.239 --> 0:42:24.160 to like be out there without you physically having to 0:42:24.280 --> 0:42:26.880 like be so present, you know, like how I do 0:42:26.920 --> 0:42:28.759 my Friday post that kind of talk about the book. 0:42:28.760 --> 0:42:30.160 But I'm like, girl, those are light lists, but it 0:42:30.200 --> 0:42:33.319 does make a big difference, you know. And thing, so 0:42:33.600 --> 0:42:35.480 do you have something like lined up like that. 0:42:35.920 --> 0:42:36.400 I do have. 0:42:36.560 --> 0:42:39.080 I'm working with for the first time ever, working with 0:42:39.280 --> 0:42:43.440 a social media person who, like I've I've always sort 0:42:43.480 --> 0:42:45.399 of if I've worked as a social media person before, 0:42:45.400 --> 0:42:47.319 I've like shared the rains a little bit, but I was. 0:42:47.280 --> 0:42:48.000 Always the poster. 0:42:48.120 --> 0:42:50.480 I was always still like the front and so it's 0:42:50.480 --> 0:42:52.920 been really interesting for me to actually hand the keys 0:42:53.000 --> 0:42:55.719 over and like you post what you when you tell 0:42:55.800 --> 0:42:59.479 me what like what needs to be posted you post, 0:42:59.520 --> 0:43:01.560 you give me a ideas you post for like on 0:43:01.640 --> 0:43:04.279 behalf of Me. And we were talking about like how 0:43:04.320 --> 0:43:06.960 can we post consistently throughout the summer. So I'm not 0:43:07.120 --> 0:43:09.719 like making a new video series, you know, I'm not 0:43:09.760 --> 0:43:11.359 like putting hell a work into it because I still 0:43:11.360 --> 0:43:13.359 want to be a little offline. But what can we 0:43:13.440 --> 0:43:16.040 automate and what routines can we set kind of like 0:43:16.040 --> 0:43:17.840 like your get good with Money Fridays? 0:43:18.000 --> 0:43:18.799 Is it what it is? 0:43:20.120 --> 0:43:22.120 What can we automate to the people, like it's like 0:43:22.160 --> 0:43:25.120 a very consistent low lift drum meat. So I'm actually 0:43:25.120 --> 0:43:28.000 conceptualizing that right now, like these next couple of weeks 0:43:28.040 --> 0:43:31.880 with my social media person Cat, because I've found someone 0:43:31.880 --> 0:43:34.600 that I trust to speak to my community almost like 0:43:34.640 --> 0:43:37.399 on my behalf and like share that load with, which 0:43:37.440 --> 0:43:42.000 is my little baby step towards like actual passive work. 0:43:42.160 --> 0:43:45.080 I think there's like a first gen resistance in me. 0:43:45.239 --> 0:43:47.879 Like part of my new brain is like I love 0:43:48.040 --> 0:43:51.120 passes stuff, like yes, we love to work less, do less, 0:43:51.160 --> 0:43:52.200 do more, get more. 0:43:52.480 --> 0:43:53.800 But there's still a part of other part of my 0:43:53.840 --> 0:43:56.880 brain that's like, is that a scam? If I'm not sweating, 0:43:57.320 --> 0:44:01.240 do I deserve the accolades afterwards? I should be crying. 0:44:01.400 --> 0:44:03.279 I should be crying right If I'm not crying right now, 0:44:03.320 --> 0:44:06.480 then well it's not real work. And so I'm like 0:44:07.120 --> 0:44:10.759 slowly trying to turn that bus around and have that going. 0:44:10.800 --> 0:44:13.600 And I'm also hoping on We're planning on a fall 0:44:13.640 --> 0:44:16.319 tour once school is back in session for me to 0:44:16.320 --> 0:44:18.400 be able since you know we're pushing this, like you 0:44:18.760 --> 0:44:21.640 young brown people need to have this book agenda, lining 0:44:21.719 --> 0:44:23.520 up lots of speaking gigs for the fall. So I'm 0:44:23.560 --> 0:44:25.840 sort of I think this is something that you and 0:44:25.880 --> 0:44:28.600 I have talked about a lot in our mentorship sessions. 0:44:28.600 --> 0:44:32.120 It's like seasons, you know, like there's a season for like, ah, 0:44:32.200 --> 0:44:35.160 I'm out, I'm doing this, and there's equal value in 0:44:35.200 --> 0:44:39.600 being like I'm hiding, I'm conceptualizing, I'm you know, yeah, 0:44:39.840 --> 0:44:43.080 I'm recharging my energy. So trying to find the balance. 0:44:43.560 --> 0:44:45.600 No, I love that, and I love that and honestly too, 0:44:45.680 --> 0:44:48.000 just remember that sometimes it's not balance, it's harmony. Right, 0:44:48.320 --> 0:44:51.000 So yaws, the sopranos they're slaying, and you know, the 0:44:51.440 --> 0:44:53.400 altos are just like the humming in the background, and 0:44:53.440 --> 0:44:55.160 sometimes the alsos are like, girl, it's my solo. 0:44:55.760 --> 0:44:56.399 Yeah, you know. 0:44:56.480 --> 0:44:59.040 So there are moments in time where you're like, you're 0:44:59.120 --> 0:45:01.279 more partner than and you are daughter, You're more darter 0:45:01.440 --> 0:45:04.920 than you are sister. You're more sister than you are bestie, 0:45:05.360 --> 0:45:07.600 you know, and there's nothing wrong with that. Harmony means 0:45:07.680 --> 0:45:10.040 it's for the betterment of the overall song of your life, 0:45:10.160 --> 0:45:10.480 you know. 0:45:10.600 --> 0:45:11.640 Yes, one hundred percent. 0:45:11.640 --> 0:45:13.400 And I think what's really hard And it sounds like 0:45:13.520 --> 0:45:15.520 I heard this in your story too, talking about how 0:45:15.760 --> 0:45:17.920 grief was clarifying for you and your life was like 0:45:18.040 --> 0:45:21.120 you need to give something up. So much of us 0:45:21.160 --> 0:45:23.680 again in this like first gen alpha kid mentality is like, no, 0:45:23.760 --> 0:45:26.680 we do everything. We check all the boxes, we keep 0:45:26.800 --> 0:45:31.920 all the plates warm, like all the burners are burning 0:45:31.960 --> 0:45:33.520 bright right, like we yeah, we can do it all, 0:45:33.560 --> 0:45:35.640 we can do it all, but that's a lie that 0:45:35.719 --> 0:45:39.080 we have been sold and continue to sell ourselves. And 0:45:39.120 --> 0:45:42.640 so letting go of that and really embracing the fact 0:45:42.640 --> 0:45:44.799 that like no, you really you can't, or you can 0:45:44.840 --> 0:45:46.839 try and do everything, but here's what happens. You hit 0:45:46.880 --> 0:45:50.239 a wall, your blood pressure spikes, like you know, you 0:45:50.280 --> 0:45:53.480 can try. It's letting go of that, like she can 0:45:53.520 --> 0:45:55.400 do everything, she's a superhero. 0:45:55.680 --> 0:45:57.560 Like letting go of that. 0:45:57.600 --> 0:45:59.920 There's fear, for sure, I'm afraid to let go of that, 0:46:00.040 --> 0:46:02.600 and it's because it's all we know and being that 0:46:02.640 --> 0:46:05.919 has given us so much. But like letting go, what 0:46:06.120 --> 0:46:08.840 instead are you making room for that actually could be 0:46:08.920 --> 0:46:14.000 more expansive and more healing than high achievement or like 0:46:14.040 --> 0:46:18.319 oh the money. That's so hard to retrain, at least 0:46:18.320 --> 0:46:21.480 for me, very difficult to reach my brain around, but trying. 0:46:21.480 --> 0:46:22.960 It is because the world. 0:46:23.440 --> 0:46:29.600 The world rewards, you know, like I would say outward 0:46:29.680 --> 0:46:33.000 high achievement. Yes, you know, like oh my gosh, you 0:46:33.000 --> 0:46:36.319 know they have that sticker on their book or on 0:46:36.320 --> 0:46:39.719 that TV show or they're making how much and it 0:46:39.760 --> 0:46:42.400 isn't I would still be on that train head Like 0:46:42.480 --> 0:46:45.479 life literally just sat me down because it's very hard 0:46:45.480 --> 0:46:46.399 to retrain your brain. 0:46:46.880 --> 0:46:47.120 You know. 0:46:47.480 --> 0:46:49.040 That's why I don't spend as much time on social 0:46:49.120 --> 0:46:51.719 media like I used to, you know, unless I'm watching 0:46:51.760 --> 0:46:56.560 somebody renovate their house, because me watching other people succeed externally, 0:46:56.600 --> 0:46:58.319 it's very hard not to say I want to get 0:46:58.320 --> 0:47:00.440 that too, even if I don't actually want to. What 0:47:00.440 --> 0:47:02.640 I'm really saying is I want that at work. I 0:47:02.680 --> 0:47:07.000 want the external accolades as well, yes, now, because that's 0:47:07.000 --> 0:47:09.120 how you bring value if you you know, are you 0:47:09.200 --> 0:47:13.040 not valuable if people don't know and so like yeah, 0:47:13.080 --> 0:47:14.759 I just was like, oh, I'm tired. I don't want 0:47:14.760 --> 0:47:15.239 to play that game. 0:47:15.320 --> 0:47:16.719 Let them have it. I don't care. I want an 0:47:16.760 --> 0:47:17.520 actual good. 0:47:17.400 --> 0:47:19.759 Life exactly exactly. 0:47:19.800 --> 0:47:22.400 It's this has been really difficult to contend with in 0:47:22.440 --> 0:47:24.640 the middle of my launching because of course, like I'm 0:47:24.680 --> 0:47:27.200 like launching the book I like have dreams of being 0:47:27.239 --> 0:47:29.880 on all Besset litters or whatever. And at the same time, 0:47:30.040 --> 0:47:33.080 I'm like, wait, are you enjoying the process? Like will 0:47:33.120 --> 0:47:34.799 you look back on this time of your life and 0:47:34.840 --> 0:47:38.040 be like I was so stressed. I was like, you know, 0:47:38.200 --> 0:47:40.399 like it's been really interesting for me to go Like, Okay, 0:47:40.400 --> 0:47:42.120 here's one way the book launch could go. I could 0:47:42.120 --> 0:47:45.719 stress myself the hell out trying so hard to accomplish 0:47:45.800 --> 0:47:46.400 these things. 0:47:47.040 --> 0:47:48.560 Do I actually want those things? 0:47:48.600 --> 0:47:50.799 What would it look like to achieve them or get 0:47:50.840 --> 0:47:53.000 on that show or do that thing? And at the 0:47:53.080 --> 0:47:54.600 end of the day does that Did you have a 0:47:54.600 --> 0:47:56.319 good time? Again, I'm talking to my inner child. Did 0:47:56.360 --> 0:47:58.480 I have a good time? Was it memorable? 0:47:59.040 --> 0:47:59.120 Like? 0:47:59.360 --> 0:48:02.200 Am I now no longer present at these amazing events? 0:48:02.280 --> 0:48:04.120 And like my family through me a surprise party, Like 0:48:04.640 --> 0:48:06.239 these are the things I want to like invest my 0:48:06.360 --> 0:48:08.960 energy in and be present for. One of my really 0:48:09.000 --> 0:48:12.520 good friends, Mimi. She's an author that I met in 0:48:12.560 --> 0:48:16.200 my coworking space in San Francisco. She is like the 0:48:16.400 --> 0:48:18.319 A few weeks before launch, she was like, I want 0:48:18.320 --> 0:48:20.200 you to know She's like, I, No, You're a highly 0:48:20.239 --> 0:48:23.200 ambitious individual and all these things are gonna happen. It's 0:48:23.239 --> 0:48:25.319 going to be great. You're gonna be triggered to try 0:48:25.320 --> 0:48:27.799 to make more things happen. Please know you already did 0:48:27.800 --> 0:48:28.399 the hard work. 0:48:28.480 --> 0:48:30.960 You wrote the book. You already did it. 0:48:31.400 --> 0:48:35.000 If you don't do anything to like extra promote this book, 0:48:35.440 --> 0:48:38.239 it takes nothing away from the accomplishment. Like you can 0:48:38.440 --> 0:48:40.840 lay down and let launch day happen, show up at 0:48:40.840 --> 0:48:43.200 your events, and then go back to sleep, and no 0:48:43.280 --> 0:48:45.840 jury in the world would convict you of not doing enough. 0:48:46.480 --> 0:48:49.040 That's the monster in your head telling you. But like, 0:48:49.480 --> 0:48:52.600 you did it already, Like authors need to say that 0:48:52.640 --> 0:48:54.800 to other authors, like you already did the hard work. 0:48:55.200 --> 0:48:57.120 And so I've been leaning into that and whenever I 0:48:57.160 --> 0:48:58.480 have a moment in the last few weeks of like wait, 0:48:58.520 --> 0:49:01.080 should I be posting today? Should I should? 0:49:01.320 --> 0:49:04.680 But I'm like, I already did it. Come on now, 0:49:04.800 --> 0:49:05.319 like don't want to. 0:49:05.280 --> 0:49:07.839 Get to ask saying me it right? 0:49:08.160 --> 0:49:10.279 Thank you, me, me, me me lack incredible. She's like 0:49:10.320 --> 0:49:13.440 you already. She's also like I'm older and you make 0:49:13.480 --> 0:49:15.040 me tired. So I just want to let you know 0:49:16.520 --> 0:49:18.279 what you do is amazing. I'm tired of just look 0:49:18.280 --> 0:49:20.960 at your social media and I hope that you're like, 0:49:21.000 --> 0:49:23.359 you're doing this because you like it, not because you 0:49:23.480 --> 0:49:25.640 feel like you have to, Because you already did all 0:49:25.719 --> 0:49:28.200 the have to you did lean back. 0:49:28.560 --> 0:49:31.560 I was like, okay. My therapist would say, not have 0:49:31.680 --> 0:49:35.800 to get to get to or want to. She was like, Tiffany, 0:49:36.200 --> 0:49:38.720 and I feel like I should. She's like, not should, 0:49:38.880 --> 0:49:42.560 but could or want to? You get to decide. Oh, 0:49:43.080 --> 0:49:44.680 thank you for coming on. You're awesome. 0:49:45.280 --> 0:49:45.960 You're amazed. 0:49:46.080 --> 0:49:49.040 Every every time we talk, Tiffany, it's like, I don't know. 0:49:49.080 --> 0:49:50.960 It's like it's like dipping my heart in honey. It's 0:49:51.000 --> 0:49:53.760 like my heart is just like in a spa. 0:49:53.920 --> 0:49:58.120 I love that honey is both sweet and it's foliating exactly. 0:49:57.920 --> 0:49:59.560 And it has antibacterial properties. 0:50:00.400 --> 0:50:06.680 Right, So where could the girlies get money out loud 0:50:06.920 --> 0:50:08.279 and where can they connect with you? 0:50:08.320 --> 0:50:09.239 No matter where you are. 0:50:09.719 --> 0:50:12.439 Of course, you can get money out loud anywhere that 0:50:12.680 --> 0:50:15.040 you buy books, and you can get the audiobook as well, 0:50:15.080 --> 0:50:17.520 anywhere that you get audiobooks. But I really stress you 0:50:17.560 --> 0:50:20.439 go independent. I love pointing people to bookshop dot Org, 0:50:20.640 --> 0:50:25.880 bookshop dot com. Sorry, well oh right, okay, let me 0:50:25.880 --> 0:50:29.000 start it. I actually love pointing people to bookshop dot 0:50:29.080 --> 0:50:31.960 org because they are an organization where you can either 0:50:32.000 --> 0:50:35.000 buy from an independent bookstore or every purchase supports an 0:50:35.000 --> 0:50:37.640 independent bookstore, and those are the folks that really need 0:50:37.680 --> 0:50:40.960 your money. And also the audiobook. I narrate the audiobook. 0:50:41.000 --> 0:50:42.840 That's something that I have not in terms of marketing. 0:50:42.840 --> 0:50:44.759 I have not told enough people that people are like 0:50:44.880 --> 0:50:47.399 I wish you would and I'm like, damn it better 0:50:47.400 --> 0:50:49.680 on this one. But I narrate the audiobook. So if 0:50:49.719 --> 0:50:53.120 you find me entertaining in your ears, then you can 0:50:53.200 --> 0:50:55.680 listen to the book, and then you can find me 0:50:55.719 --> 0:50:58.440 everywhere at hey Berna. I'll be going a little quieter 0:50:58.480 --> 0:51:01.080 on socials this summer, but I will be back to 0:51:01.080 --> 0:51:03.719 my full obnoxiousness in the fall. So you have till 0:51:03.760 --> 0:51:04.560 then to unfollow me. 0:51:06.160 --> 0:51:08.839 We welcome the crazy. I love it. 0:51:08.840 --> 0:51:11.600 So yes, Hey Burner on all the things, Heyburner dot com. 0:51:11.880 --> 0:51:15.560 Money out Loud, available wherever books are. So but I 0:51:15.600 --> 0:51:18.680 do you go to a book bookshop right bookshop dot org. 0:51:18.760 --> 0:51:22.319 Yes, go ahead and get it, rich Auntie for you 0:51:22.400 --> 0:51:25.279 and your little nibbling. You know, if you got a 0:51:25.320 --> 0:51:27.440 young person in your life, a college student, it's actually 0:51:27.440 --> 0:51:30.080 a perfect time for college because if your if your child, 0:51:30.239 --> 0:51:33.040 or you know a child that you know is going 0:51:33.040 --> 0:51:35.680 off to college that summer before it's time to sit 0:51:35.719 --> 0:51:38.480 down and have talks with them. That talks about drinking, 0:51:38.640 --> 0:51:41.800 talks about safety, that talks about money. It's perfect timing, 0:51:42.120 --> 0:51:45.760 so money out loud by Burner, Annette, thank. 0:51:45.640 --> 0:51:50.720 You feel it. It's going to be a low simmer 0:51:50.719 --> 0:51:52.319 this summer, so hopefully it doesn't hurt. 0:51:52.719 --> 0:51:52.759 No. 0:51:52.880 --> 0:51:54.799 I love it. Thank you Burner, thank you