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Speaker 1: Hey, hey, mean all I always forget. Wait what is

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Speaker 1: my brown ambition?

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Speaker 2: No entry song? Wait we're back? Oh yeah, we're God

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Speaker 2: so I know helly, Hey, hey we're back.

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Speaker 1: We're black, We're extra brown today. Ambition ambition, ambition, ambition, ambition. Joe,

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Speaker 1: my guest today, had to help me with theme song.

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Speaker 1: Y'all know how my memory is set up. But before

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Speaker 1: I forget, before I introduced my amazing special she's like

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Speaker 1: my I don't say spirited animal anymore because a Native

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Speaker 1: person was like that that is disrespectful, so instead they said,

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Speaker 1: use patriarch, patron patronis.

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Speaker 2: Yes, she's my patronus.

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Speaker 1: If you guys are into the Harry Potter, which I am,

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Speaker 1: she's my patronis. Before I introduce her real quick, y'all know,

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Speaker 1: I've been in business for about fifteen years.

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Speaker 2: We made over forty million dollars.

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Speaker 1: In business, I have met I toward hundreds, if not thousands,

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Speaker 1: of women, some of which are seven figure business and

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Speaker 1: six figure businesses themselves. And I have a mentorship club

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Speaker 1: if you will.

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Speaker 2: It is currently only ten bucks a month.

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Speaker 1: It's my way of kind of like pouring back into

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Speaker 1: other women because I was poured into it's not specifically

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Speaker 1: for black and brown women, but let's just say those

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Speaker 1: are my faves. So if you have a business or

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Speaker 1: you are thinking about starting a business, now's the perfect

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Speaker 1: time to sign up at my mentor Tiffany dot com.

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Speaker 2: The link will be in the show notes.

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Speaker 1: Because this you know, by the time you listen to

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Speaker 1: this show this week, we're doubling it from ten bucks

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Speaker 1: a month to twenty bucks a month, but we are

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Speaker 1: grandfathering in any current member, so if you're paying ten bucks,

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Speaker 1: you will always paying ten bucks.

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Speaker 2: And so if you've just been curious and you're like,

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Speaker 2: should I do it?

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Speaker 1: My mentor Tiffany dot com. I go live once a

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Speaker 1: month with a lesson you go. You get to connect

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Speaker 1: weekly with your other mentees. Is a monthly networking like

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Speaker 1: game that they play together. And then even in person,

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Speaker 1: I have menty dinners, you know, with mentus all around

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Speaker 1: the country.

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Speaker 2: So it's just a really awesome time for ten bucks.

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Speaker 1: So why pay ten twenty when you can pay ten

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Speaker 1: my mentor Tiffany dot com Because this week is the

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Speaker 1: last week it'll be that price. Now let's get into

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Speaker 1: the business at hand. We have the one the only

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Speaker 1: burner Bernard.

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Speaker 2: How you say last name and.

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Speaker 3: Like amat and like okay, We'm.

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Speaker 1: Gonna do her bio and then we're gonna while out.

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Speaker 1: You'll see why Berner is my patronas because we're both crazy.

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Speaker 1: Berner is an award winning producer, speaker, podcast host, rich

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Speaker 1: aunty and training and financial hype woman. I wish you

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Speaker 1: guys to watch on.

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Speaker 2: YouTube you ought to be because you would see Berna

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Speaker 2: is giving phase. She's voguing.

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Speaker 1: Bernon just giving energy, which is her made up way

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Speaker 1: of saying that she creates financial education media all over

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Speaker 1: the interwebs.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 1: She was born and raised in the Bay Area, and

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Speaker 1: she's a proud is it is it Filipina that's gonna

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Speaker 1: stay properly? Okay, Filipina, Filipina, American daughter of immigrants. Oh

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Speaker 1: it's same like me, except I'm not Filipina. I'm Nigerian,

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Speaker 1: but close enough. She taught herself how to pay over,

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Speaker 1: pay off over fifty thousand, thousand dead.

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Speaker 2: And then did what any millennia would do. She yelled

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Speaker 2: about it on the Internet.

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Speaker 1: Bernard's work has been featured on platforms like Forbes, The

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Speaker 1: New York Times, BuzzFeed. Berna received a Pollutice Award for

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Speaker 1: Most Entertaining Financial Content Creator two years in a row.

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Speaker 1: So just so you know, the Plllutice Awards are like

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Speaker 1: the Emmys for financial educator, so it's a big deal

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Speaker 1: and was named one of ABC's Global Pinoy Idols. You

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Speaker 1: can find Berner online at hey Berna on all platforms

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Speaker 1: in Heyburner dot com or curled up with her nieces

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Speaker 1: watching the Office. And I'd be remissed not to say.

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Speaker 1: Berner has a new amazing book out called Money Out Loud,

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Speaker 1: which you know what I'm saying, I gave praise for

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Speaker 1: because it's an awesome book and as awesome as Berner is.

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Speaker 2: So we welcome you to the stoop. Berner. Thank you

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Speaker 2: for having me.

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Speaker 3: Tiffany.

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Speaker 4: This is like I can't build a safer, more wonderful

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Speaker 4: financial podcast space Brad Ambition is my number one favorite

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Speaker 4: financial podcast. You are my number one favorite financial educator.

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Speaker 4: I've been telling everyone since like I've opened my mouth

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Speaker 4: in this industry. You are my alpha and Omega. So ah,

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Speaker 4: this is this is everything to me. And for folks

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Speaker 4: who may have attended my New York City launch event,

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Speaker 4: Tiffany was so kind as to moderate our discussion and

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Speaker 4: co host with me, and it was just it's been

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Speaker 4: a very surreal couple of months kicked off with my

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Speaker 4: event with Tiffany, So.

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Speaker 1: So Bernard, let's just talk about so So for those

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Speaker 1: of you who are talked about the mentorship before, Berne

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Speaker 1: is one of my mentees, like my in person mentees,

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Speaker 1: and we talked about her book and me and Burner

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Speaker 1: were talking like every month to go over, like you know,

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Speaker 1: here's some things you can do, and so let's just

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Speaker 1: do a check in because I know book launching is

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Speaker 1: not easy.

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Speaker 5: Your spirit in your.

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Speaker 2: Soul right now, like how are you feeling in.

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Speaker 4: This great, great, great question I have been telling people

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Speaker 4: over the last month two months because my book came

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Speaker 4: out about a month and a half ago that it's

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Speaker 4: been like, okay, you know how I love a metaphor,

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Speaker 4: Like an elongated, ridiculous metaphor. It's like when you're you're

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Speaker 4: like playing in the ocean with your friends and maybe

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Speaker 4: your crushes around and like you're like kind of in

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Speaker 4: the deep end and you're trying to like show off

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Speaker 4: your swimming skills, but like still have your like little

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Speaker 4: aerial moment like flipping your hair around, shout out to

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Speaker 4: Helly Bailey, and but then the waves start coming in

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Speaker 4: faster and faster, and like one hits you and you're like, oh, okay,

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Speaker 4: let me breathe within the like before the next wave.

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Speaker 4: But the next wave comes too fast, and so now

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Speaker 4: you like swallow a bunch of seawater. And that's happening

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Speaker 4: over and over. That's how I felt for like two months.

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Speaker 4: But good, like all the waves of seawater are good, beautiful,

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Speaker 4: miraculous life, having supportive things. But I am still drowning

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Speaker 4: a little. Okay, I am still getting seawater in my mouth.

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Speaker 4: It's just like it's good seawater. So it's been wonderful

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Speaker 4: and like chaotic, and I think just in the last

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Speaker 4: week I've been able to get to more calmer waters

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Speaker 4: and breathe a little bit.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So I mean, let's let's talk about money out loud, Like, well,

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Speaker 2: one first, how did you become a financial educator? Like

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Speaker 2: what you know?

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Speaker 1: Like how did you get here? Like you know, from

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Speaker 1: how you grew up to what made you think? Like

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Speaker 1: how did you pay off your your dad? And then

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Speaker 1: what made you say I think I want to show

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Speaker 1: other people, like what's that story.

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Speaker 5: Like, oh my gosh, the story.

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Speaker 4: So I mean you were right at the like the

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Speaker 4: freaking a big plot point of my story, I must say.

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Speaker 4: But I didn't grow up at all in money, knowing money,

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Speaker 4: understanding money. You and I connect on this and being

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Speaker 4: children of immigrants, first gen, and my my parents immigrated

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Speaker 4: from the Philippines, and like so many of us first

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Speaker 4: gen children of immigrants, we only know what our parents

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Speaker 4: taught us, and our parents didn't have time to teach us.

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Speaker 5: Stuff like this.

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Speaker 4: You know, we were very much in the lower middle

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Speaker 4: income household, and the focus in an immigrant family is

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Speaker 4: to assimilate and survive and to just get a knowledge

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Speaker 4: of the rules and the systems, and so growing up

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Speaker 4: it was like the money was never talked about.

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Speaker 5: It was not discussed.

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Speaker 4: It was only felt in like tension and weirdness when

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Speaker 4: my siblings and I would walk into the room and

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Speaker 4: it was like the classic picture of like bills all

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Speaker 4: over the table and like weird vibes with my parents.

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Speaker 4: So money was never part of my life really except

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Speaker 4: for like background tension. Cut to I'm in my mid twenties,

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Speaker 4: i am in New York City trying to be a

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Speaker 4: magazine editor remember those, remember magazines? And so I was

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Speaker 4: very broke, and I was in like twelve thousand dollars

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Speaker 4: a credit card debt, forty eight thousand dollars thirty eight

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Speaker 4: forty eight thousand dollars of student loan debt, and I,

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Speaker 4: like everyone else around, it was just like, I guess

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Speaker 4: I'm just gonna die broke.

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Speaker 5: L l la la la.

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Speaker 4: I started to think through, like what would it take

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Speaker 4: to take down my credit card debt? So I started,

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Speaker 4: like I always use the classic gif of like, you know,

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Speaker 4: like the cat at a keyboard going like this, like

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Speaker 4: tapping at a keyboard.

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Speaker 5: That was me being like what is budgeting?

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Speaker 4: Like how would I theoretically get rid of this credit

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Speaker 4: card debt? And this is kind of where my journey started.

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Speaker 4: It wasn't necessarily what I was learning. What I was

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Speaker 4: learning was really it was mind blowing because we don't

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Speaker 4: get taught this stuff in school. It's really just a

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Speaker 4: matter of whether you can access the information and if

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Speaker 4: you can understand the information. So I was like, where

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Speaker 4: was all this information about budgeting and credit card interest

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Speaker 4: rates and debt payoff plans? Like we don't learn any

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Speaker 4: of this stuff?

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Speaker 5: How come I have to.

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Speaker 4: Google it to find out. That was one thing that

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Speaker 4: made me angry. But the second thing that made me go, Okay,

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Speaker 4: I think I need to start learning this stuff is

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Speaker 4: the fact that, and I know I've said this to

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Speaker 4: you many times, I say this on the internet all

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Speaker 4: the time. I saw that all the educator, so many

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Speaker 4: of our financial education idols were Hella, male, Hella, Pale, Hella, Stale.

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Speaker 4: I am from the California Bay Area. I will say

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Speaker 4: Hella at every opportunity. You can't stop me. So that

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Speaker 4: was it was the two things that really got me like,

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Speaker 4: oh heck no. Was one the inaccessibility to the information

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Speaker 4: and how it was like a foreign language financial education,

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Speaker 4: and to the fact that there were so few women

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Speaker 4: and even less women of color in the financial education space.

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Speaker 4: But one thing that changed everything is I met somebody

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Speaker 4: named Tiffany Aali Check. Someone recommended Tiffany to me, and

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Speaker 4: I was like, what's this person all about? And I

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Speaker 4: vividly remember I was sitting on my bed and my

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Speaker 4: partner at the time was like putting away clothes and

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Speaker 4: he was like, what are you laughing at? And I

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Speaker 4: was like, I'm on a Facebook live of this woman

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Speaker 4: named Tiffany, and she's talking about I think you were

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Speaker 4: talking about like mortgage. I was like, this is so

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Speaker 4: irrelevant to my life, Like I just that week's topic

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Speaker 4: happened to not be relevant to my debt payoff plan.

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Speaker 4: But I was like, why am I sitting here listening

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Speaker 4: to this woman talk about mortgages. I'm just like enraptured.

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Speaker 4: You were the first person to make me go, wait,

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Speaker 4: we can be funny and in.

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Speaker 5: Financial education at the same time.

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Speaker 4: Why do I feel like I'm just like on Skype

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Speaker 4: with my bestie, Like this is so great. That really

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Speaker 4: changed things for me too. So I started sharing my

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Speaker 4: debt payoff journey internet things, you know, video and things

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Speaker 4: grew and we're here.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's awesome, awesome, awesome.

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Speaker 1: So how did you go from that to like, okay now,

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Speaker 1: because ultimately a book is just another tool for education. Yes,

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Speaker 1: you know, when did you decide, you know what, I

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Speaker 1: want to put my ideas into a book?

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Speaker 2: Were you just approach and you never thought about it?

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Speaker 4: Like?

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Speaker 2: What was that process like for you?

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Speaker 4: This was I keep telling people I got into my

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Speaker 4: book deal kind of butt backwards. But maybe this was

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Speaker 4: seeded by my childhood self. I wanted to be a writer.

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Speaker 4: When I first kind of like I don't know, became sentient,

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Speaker 4: like understood what it meant to have a job. I

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Speaker 4: was like, I want to write, but of course I

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Speaker 4: have immigrant parents. And if you have immigrant parents, you know,

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Speaker 4: writer is not on the table, especially for Asian Filipino

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Speaker 4: American kids. I keep joking that you have four choices

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Speaker 4: when you are.

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Speaker 1: Nigerian doctor, lawyer, check, engineer, yes, pharmacist.

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Speaker 5: Well, I was gonna say, the last one is always disappointment.

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Speaker 2: To me. The fifth one is drug dealer. For Nigenists,

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Speaker 2: they're like, hey, so yeah, a drug dealer. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I'm a teacher.

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Speaker 4: They're like drug dealer, drug dealer, A drug dealer is

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Speaker 4: the catch all for everything that's embarrassing to them.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, exactly, And even like in the last few years

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Speaker 6: describing my career to my parents, they're like, you do

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Speaker 6: what with the same tone as if I was like

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Speaker 6: ideal drug father, That's what I do.

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Speaker 4: It's like doctor, lawyer, engineer, disappointment and so writer. I

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Speaker 4: think was taken off the table pretty early when I

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Speaker 4: was younger, and I sort of like went around and

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Speaker 4: pursued like pr and marketing, and things like that. But

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Speaker 4: I'd always wanted to write fast Forward again to you know,

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Speaker 4: being a content creator, putting up videos, doing speaking gigs.

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Speaker 4: I had hired an agent to help me with sorting

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Speaker 4: through you know, these inquiries and negotiating and everything I

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Speaker 4: took time. I was like, I want to I want

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Speaker 4: to agent up with with a woman of color and

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Speaker 4: an independent agency, because this is this is distribution of wealth,

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Speaker 4: like this is who I want to build my like

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Speaker 4: financial ecosystem with. And then a month after we signed

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Speaker 4: on together, my agent, Tabia was like, so I was

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Speaker 4: approached by HarperCollins and I was like, ar And they

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Speaker 4: were like, they're looking for someone to write a financial

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Speaker 4: education book for young people specifically, like would you be

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Speaker 4: interested in that? And I feel like my eleven to

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Speaker 4: like seven to eleven year old self was like, oh yes,

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Speaker 4: very interested. They had a outline for what wanted the

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Speaker 4: book to have, and they already kind of had ideas

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Speaker 4: for like a title, and I saw it and I

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Speaker 4: was like oh no, oh no, no, no, no, no no no.

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Speaker 4: There was this sort of like your Teen's Guide to

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Speaker 4: I was like, uh uh no, ma'am, none of that.

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Speaker 4: Because I worked for seventeen magazine. I worked for the

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Speaker 4: YMCA and lots of other teen programs, after school programs

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Speaker 4: in camps in New York City. The worst thing you

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Speaker 4: can do, especially in terms of media, is call it

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Speaker 4: teen a teen Teens guide to I was, okay, we

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Speaker 4: need I need to bring YMCA burn it into this

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Speaker 4: and be like here's how I would do it. Here's

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Speaker 4: how I would restructure all the information to get rid

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Speaker 4: of this. Put more of this. And they were like,

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Speaker 4: do you want to write it? And I was like,

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Speaker 4: I do, absolutely do. That's that's how we got to

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Speaker 4: the book deal specifically, and I was just psyched, like

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Speaker 4: this has been a very full circle healing moment for

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Speaker 4: my inner self.

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Speaker 2: No, I love that.

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Speaker 1: So Money out Loud you would say, like, who is

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Speaker 1: the ideal like reader for Money out Loud? And you know,

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Speaker 1: is it just the young teen or is it a

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Speaker 1: parent of a teen? Is it the aunties of you know? Like,

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Speaker 1: who would you love to see pick this book up

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Speaker 1: off the shelf?

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Speaker 4: Oh, my absolute number one audience. It's two people. In

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Speaker 4: my mind, it is the anyone who identifies with the

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Speaker 4: rich auntie and that is of any age of any generation.

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Speaker 4: But the person in my mind, next to the rich

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Speaker 4: auntie holding my book has given a second copy to

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Speaker 4: the young person that they want to inspire. I really

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Speaker 4: wrote this as a letter to my sixteen year old self,

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Speaker 4: really like a letter to my nieces. I have four nieces,

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Speaker 4: all between the ages of twenty three and two, and

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Speaker 4: this was me writing a book to them. And so

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Speaker 4: my ideal audience is anyone who considers themselves a mentor

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Speaker 4: and also understands that no matter what age you're at,

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Speaker 4: you were probably failed by the financial education system. So

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Speaker 4: I don't want anyone to feel like, oh, it's a

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Speaker 4: book for young people.

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Speaker 5: It's not for me.

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Speaker 4: It is for you, and my dream is to for

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Speaker 4: you to also give it to a young person who

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Speaker 4: like you, I wish you could do better by your

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Speaker 4: younger self. So I'm going to pay it forward and

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Speaker 4: give it to the newer generation so that they don't

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Speaker 4: have to struggle like we did. I'm like it is

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Speaker 4: very much an auntie and nibbling like mentor mentee kind

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Speaker 4: of pairing.

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Speaker 5: That's my ideal.

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Speaker 2: I love that.

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Speaker 1: So one of the things I love about Money out Loud.

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Speaker 1: First of all, the cover is everything all right, thank you?

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Speaker 1: I love how you advocated. You know, I know all

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Speaker 1: the stuff behind the scenes about Berna, but I love

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Speaker 1: how you advocated for yourself for the cover. Yes, you know,

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Speaker 1: you were the opposite of me. I was like, I

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Speaker 1: don't want to be on I don't want to be.

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Speaker 4: Well you being on your cover and made me go

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Speaker 4: like that is so impactful. I'm sure a lot of

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Speaker 4: the decisions of you being on the cover and all

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Speaker 4: the positives.

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Speaker 5: I'm like, yeah, it hit.

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Speaker 4: Me because I'm like, how many women of color do

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Speaker 4: you see on the cover of their own money books?

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Speaker 5: And so that was something that we fought.

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Speaker 2: For, so yours is like super fun.

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Speaker 1: And then also too, what I really really love is

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Speaker 1: that like there's so many awesome illustrations in this book

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Speaker 1: and they're so fun, you know, so like if I

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Speaker 1: was a young aunt, which aunty, which I am actually aunty,

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Speaker 1: and so I just love, you know, I enjoy reading.

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Speaker 2: Go to Barns and Nobles, pick a book off the shelf.

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Speaker 1: I will do the flip, you know, the book flip

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Speaker 1: when you look in and I'm like, if you do

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Speaker 1: the book flip here, You're like, wait a minute, there's like,

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Speaker 1: you know, there's illustrations it just looks fun, it doesn't

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Speaker 1: look overwhelming. I just love that you included and like

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Speaker 1: there's all these drawings of Berna so you can see

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Speaker 1: this brown girl with big curly hair. Yeah, you know,

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Speaker 1: and I just love like you know, you're always giving encouragement,

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Speaker 1: like this one that says.

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Speaker 2: When I say community, you say care. I love that.

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Speaker 4: I had to step into the hype woman of it

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Speaker 4: all and I have to give all the flowers to

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Speaker 4: Monique Sterling. She is our illustrator. Incredible when my publisher

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Speaker 4: was like, let's get an illustrator on this. Here's Monique

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Speaker 4: Sterling's portfolio, and Monique had done a bunch of illustration

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Speaker 4: also for BPOC authors who are writing specifically towards like

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Speaker 4: racial justice and just like very like focusing in on

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Speaker 4: like here are authors who don't typically get to be authors.

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Speaker 4: I was like, ah, Monique, yes, And it was wonderful

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Speaker 4: to work together because we're like, how do I how

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Speaker 4: do I portray that in me? And cartoon form is

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Speaker 4: brown and has big curly hair, but also is not like,

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Speaker 4: you know, I'm I'm Filipina, you know, like I'm not

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Speaker 4: coding that I am a black woman with like an Afro.

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Speaker 5: There are some moments where we're.

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Speaker 4: Like, oh, hold up, let's not let's not misrepresent but

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Speaker 4: I do want people to see my hair and my skin.

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Speaker 4: And I'm like lunging and yeah, we wanted to make

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Speaker 4: it fun.

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Speaker 2: No, I love it. Like, first of all, first of all,

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Speaker 2: this is fre the interlu tax party, taxes, don't know her.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, honestly, this book is like a party

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Speaker 1: and a financial party in a book.

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Speaker 4: Thank you, and that that chapter specifically, we're like textbuer,

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Speaker 4: I'm like, let's put balloons.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, that's like what where would you see? Like you

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Speaker 5: see that and you're like, what is she talking about?

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Speaker 2: Is it taxes?

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Speaker 5: Let's find out?

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Speaker 2: Wait, hold that thought, Berna.

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Speaker 1: We are going to pay some bills and do a

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Speaker 1: little break for a moment, and we're.

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Speaker 2: Back and black and brown. Let's resume.

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Speaker 1: I can't remember the first time that I saw you,

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Speaker 1: but I don't know if you were alive or think

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Speaker 1: it was just maybe you were doing like a series

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Speaker 1: of videos and I was like, oh my gosh, she

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Speaker 1: is so silly and so fun and so wild because

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Speaker 1: I think because when I came into this space, I

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Speaker 1: was really nervous about being myself. I actually slipped up.

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Speaker 1: It was myself, and that's how it came out. Like

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Speaker 1: up until that, neverody was like, oh, very serious Tiffany. Hi, guys,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna learn this. And so all my early if

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Speaker 1: you go to my YouTube channel, all my early YouTube

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Speaker 1: videos is very serious Tiffany, fake serious, because that is not.

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Speaker 1: And then one time I was live and I think,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what happened. Everything that could go wrong

399
00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:47,080
Speaker 1: was all my My bonus started had come into the

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Speaker 1: room and I was asking her to close the door

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Speaker 1: because at the time she was like young. And then

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Speaker 1: I kept saying like I think like Alyssa, and Alexa

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Speaker 1: kept saying yeah, and I'm like, so I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: keep it together, like not you, Alexa, Alyssa, and you go, yeah,

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Speaker 1: what you. So finally I was like god, damn it.

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Speaker 4: And that is when I entered the room and it

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Speaker 4: was like this is my person and I didn't realize.

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Speaker 1: I looked at the camera and I was like, wait,

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Speaker 1: I shold myself. I tried to go back to fake phony,

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Speaker 1: serious Tiffany, but the comments went crazy yes, and it

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Speaker 1: was like what my therapist calls a corrective experience. You know,

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Speaker 1: you tell yourself, you know, if I go left, I

413
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Speaker 1: bump my toe.

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Speaker 2: If I go left, I butt my toe.

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Speaker 1: And then one day you go left and you don't,

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Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, like just because turning left is

417
00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:42,359
Speaker 1: not a precursor for bubbing my toe. So I thought

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Speaker 1: like success had to come from serious. Success is serious.

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Speaker 1: And then one day, you know, I slipped up and

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Speaker 1: I wasn't serious, and it was like I got this

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Speaker 1: immediate reaction of like, we like this, Tiffany. And so

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Speaker 1: as a result, it corrected that experience for me to say, wait,

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Speaker 1: can I be myself? And then you know, bring people

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Speaker 1: into the room still. And so when like did you

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Speaker 1: start off when you first started, like, hey, Bernard, did

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Speaker 1: you start off like fully being yourself?

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Speaker 2: Did you have to grow into it like when you

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Speaker 2: started to be more publicly facing.

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Speaker 4: I think I didn't have to spend too much more

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Speaker 4: time going into it, because honestly, creators like you made

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Speaker 4: me go like I was seeing other financial creators be

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Speaker 4: the serious and I was like, okay, and this is

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Speaker 4: where I'm just a learner.

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Speaker 5: I'm just a learner.

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Speaker 4: I'm just sort of like synthesizing my education in my

436
00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:31,840
Speaker 4: own little private Google doc and great, and I'm just

437
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:35,720
Speaker 4: a student. When I saw folks like yourself bring the personality,

438
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:38,760
Speaker 4: and not only was that more entertaining for me, but

439
00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:41,879
Speaker 4: it made the education go down differently. It was like

440
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:44,960
Speaker 4: the spoonful of medicine or a spoonful of sugar makes

441
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:49,040
Speaker 4: some medicine go down. I was like, oh, this is impactful. Also,

442
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:52,720
Speaker 4: I'm nuts like could this help? Could this help people learn?

443
00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:56,760
Speaker 4: And so when I started sharing my financial journey, my

444
00:20:56,800 --> 00:21:01,160
Speaker 4: like debt payoff journey, my like budget building journey, I'm

445
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,240
Speaker 4: naturally inside. I'm a child, like my inner child is

446
00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:06,640
Speaker 4: very is its right friend and center all that she's

447
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:09,760
Speaker 4: at the control center always. And so in order for

448
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,679
Speaker 4: me to learn anything, I have to translate for my

449
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:15,400
Speaker 4: inner child. And that's how I started sharing my information,

450
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:19,600
Speaker 4: just like, so interest is this, Here's the like Investipedia

451
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:23,399
Speaker 4: kind of Miriam Webster's dictionary. Here's how I would explain

452
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,720
Speaker 4: it to my inner five year old people, I feel

453
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:27,880
Speaker 4: like other people's inner five year old was like, now

454
00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:31,639
Speaker 4: I get it, Now I understand. And so it was

455
00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:34,320
Speaker 4: it was you open the door for so many of

456
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:36,560
Speaker 4: us to be like, oh, like I can be myself

457
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,800
Speaker 4: and then I realized the more I am myself, the

458
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:42,359
Speaker 4: more I speak to a different level of people. Like

459
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,879
Speaker 4: so many of us, especially be IPOC, we understand what

460
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,400
Speaker 4: it's like to be talked at from the like wha

461
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:49,800
Speaker 4: our professional voice and like our professional selves are like

462
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:52,320
Speaker 4: I'm talking back to you in the professional selves. But

463
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,800
Speaker 4: when we're ourselves, like when you and I as creators

464
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:58,240
Speaker 4: are ourselves, we get under that layer and it's like, oh,

465
00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:01,560
Speaker 4: that's how I yell at alexa at Like that's you know,

466
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:03,840
Speaker 4: that metaphor that Burnham made is something that's the way

467
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:05,239
Speaker 4: that like I would explain it to my five year

468
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,520
Speaker 4: old self, It just like it digs in deeper, and

469
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:09,680
Speaker 4: I want to always stay in that level. So it

470
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:12,639
Speaker 4: was freeing for me to see creators like you do that,

471
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:14,399
Speaker 4: And the more that I do it, the more that

472
00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:18,000
Speaker 4: I was like making silly metaphors and skits and characters

473
00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:21,560
Speaker 4: and seeing that people were being entertained and learning. At

474
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:23,919
Speaker 4: the same time, I was like, great, I found my pocket,

475
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,600
Speaker 4: Like I don't have to hide my inner child. She

476
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:28,960
Speaker 4: actually is a big part of the impact that I make.

477
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:30,480
Speaker 4: So she's she's a CEO.

478
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:36,400
Speaker 1: So we all know that there are so many ills

479
00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:40,320
Speaker 1: that that we people of color have to navigate because

480
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:43,080
Speaker 1: of the state of our personal finances and the state

481
00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:45,200
Speaker 1: of the way the world looks at us and the

482
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:48,680
Speaker 1: the world interacts with us via the economy and our

483
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:49,800
Speaker 1: in our finances.

484
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:53,040
Speaker 2: Like, what problem do you hope to solve with hey, Berna?

485
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:57,399
Speaker 1: For me, I hope to help to start to close

486
00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:01,240
Speaker 1: the racial wealth gap, specifically through black women, right, And

487
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:03,119
Speaker 1: so I don't turn anyone away, but that's like my

488
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:05,280
Speaker 1: core deliverable, Like I want to help black women get

489
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:08,400
Speaker 1: on financial track because through black women you help black men.

490
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:09,879
Speaker 2: Through black women, you help black children.

491
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:11,800
Speaker 1: Through black women, you help the black family and communities,

492
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:14,320
Speaker 1: and then the communities at large benefit overall.

493
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:15,960
Speaker 2: Right, So what.

494
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:21,000
Speaker 1: Problem are you hoping to solve or at least take

495
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:23,560
Speaker 1: stally start to chip away at.

496
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:27,320
Speaker 4: Yes, Okay, So I think in I feel like there's

497
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:29,240
Speaker 4: a woo wuo problem and then like a technical problem

498
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 4: that I'm hoping to solve. I think the woo woo

499
00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:35,479
Speaker 4: problem is the feel is the sense that a lot

500
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:37,520
Speaker 4: of people don't feel like they belong in the financial

501
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:40,760
Speaker 4: conversation at all. And I think I've shared this metaphor

502
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:43,239
Speaker 4: with you before, but One of my favorite sort of

503
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:45,719
Speaker 4: impacts that effects that I feel like my work has

504
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 4: had is it's like you're at a party, or like

505
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:51,119
Speaker 4: your friend invites you to a house party, but you

506
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:53,240
Speaker 4: go without your friend. You like arrive late, so you

507
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:55,840
Speaker 4: come by yourself and you walk into the door and

508
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,240
Speaker 4: you're like, okay, like the party's already started. You don't

509
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:00,480
Speaker 4: really know anyone, you don't see anyone you know, but

510
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:03,000
Speaker 4: everyone's having a good time, and you're like this is intimidating.

511
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:04,560
Speaker 4: You're like, is everybody looking at me? I don't think

512
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:07,760
Speaker 4: I belong here. It's loud, I don't see my friend.

513
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:09,840
Speaker 4: And then you're like, you know what if I just leave,

514
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:11,879
Speaker 4: no one's gonna know, and my friend's not gonna know.

515
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,399
Speaker 4: I'm just gonna get out of here. But then your

516
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:17,320
Speaker 4: friend sees you and they're like, oh my god, Like Tiffany,

517
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:19,760
Speaker 4: you're here, thank God, Like you made it. Okay, let

518
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:21,679
Speaker 4: me show you around. Here's where you put your jacket,

519
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:23,959
Speaker 4: avoid these people. This is where you get the drinks.

520
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:27,440
Speaker 4: That guy sucks whatever. And then you like you joined

521
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:29,320
Speaker 4: the party. But then later on in the night, you

522
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 4: got comfortable you've made friends. You might lose that friend again.

523
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 4: But it's fine because you've already been introduced. You were

524
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,280
Speaker 4: brought in by someone who made you feel welcome, you

525
00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:40,480
Speaker 4: were like oriented, and now you're having a great night

526
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:43,320
Speaker 4: even without that person. That is what I want to

527
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:45,080
Speaker 4: be for the financial world. I want to be the

528
00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:48,080
Speaker 4: person that's like, hey, you're here, you belong here. I'm

529
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:50,399
Speaker 4: so happy you're here, I'm glad. Let me just make

530
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:53,520
Speaker 4: you feel comfortable. Let me orient you to a different

531
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:56,440
Speaker 4: financial world where you don't have to listen to hell

532
00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:59,640
Speaker 4: a male, stale, pale dudes gaslight you out of your

533
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:03,200
Speaker 4: financi reality and let me bring you in. And that

534
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,480
Speaker 4: effect I think is so impactful. Even if after that

535
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:09,360
Speaker 4: they never like engage in my content again. They might

536
00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:12,120
Speaker 4: buy money out Loud, but that is then the impetus

537
00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 4: for them to buy a whole bunch of other financial

538
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:16,000
Speaker 4: books that speak to them and go down all these

539
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,680
Speaker 4: other financial rabbit holes and find a Tiffany or find

540
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:21,360
Speaker 4: anyone else that they're like, oh, this is me furthering

541
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:23,920
Speaker 4: my education. I'm happy to be the bouncer. I'm happy

542
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:25,879
Speaker 4: to be the person that brought them in, the orientation leader.

543
00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:29,360
Speaker 4: I guess I love that, Okay, yes, absolutely. And then

544
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 4: the technical thing is And this is something that I've

545
00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:34,000
Speaker 4: been talking a lot with my friend Yanelli, who also

546
00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:36,720
Speaker 4: just came out with a financial education her yesterday.

547
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:39,080
Speaker 1: I'm ning her to her new book coming out. What

548
00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:40,760
Speaker 1: the book k has So yes, I've been.

549
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:42,360
Speaker 5: Yes, she is incredible.

550
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,679
Speaker 4: She also works as I think it's like director of

551
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:49,800
Speaker 4: education at next Gen Personal Finance. They're working very hard

552
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:54,159
Speaker 4: on trying to pass as many financial education literacy laws

553
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:56,000
Speaker 4: in the country, because only I want to say, like

554
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:58,520
Speaker 4: twenty one to twenty two states have it mandatory. I

555
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:01,120
Speaker 4: know Tiffany has a budget niete the law in New Jersey.

556
00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:04,439
Speaker 4: And I'm really hoping that this book can help become

557
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:08,199
Speaker 4: not necessarily part of the curriculum for financial education, but

558
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:11,560
Speaker 4: part of the push that financial education is important to

559
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:15,000
Speaker 4: start in middle school, in high school. Make it relevant,

560
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,800
Speaker 4: make it interesting, make it brown. I want to get

561
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:19,920
Speaker 4: this book in front of as many young b ipoc

562
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:23,600
Speaker 4: as possible for free. They should not have to shell

563
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:26,800
Speaker 4: out twenty book, twenty bucks or whatever or like go

564
00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:29,919
Speaker 4: seeking this information. I want it to be at the

565
00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:32,600
Speaker 4: in their classrooms, at the YMCA, in their after school programs.

566
00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:34,600
Speaker 5: So I'm trying to do it for the youth.

567
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:35,600
Speaker 2: I love that.

568
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,919
Speaker 1: I love that so big, big, big. I want to

569
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:42,919
Speaker 1: welcome you in to financial education. You have a space

570
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:45,119
Speaker 1: in the place here. You're not only welcome, but you

571
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:49,000
Speaker 1: are important. And then you know, more concrete, you know,

572
00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:52,800
Speaker 1: let's get financial education in the hands of young people,

573
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:56,040
Speaker 1: especially young people of color. Ideally, you know, your book

574
00:26:56,080 --> 00:27:00,359
Speaker 1: being one of the core tools that people can use. Yes,

575
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:02,399
Speaker 1: love you see my recap, that's my teacher recap.

576
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:03,119
Speaker 2: See my recap?

577
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:05,320
Speaker 5: And beautiful is she a teacher?

578
00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:08,240
Speaker 3: You should teach? Maybe you should go to education. Everything

579
00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:09,560
Speaker 3: is like that, all.

580
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:12,040
Speaker 1: Right, Well let's talk more personal things, right, so Bernard,

581
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:14,200
Speaker 1: Like you know, for me, I'm always just like beyond,

582
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:17,560
Speaker 1: like business beyond, you know, like what you do, Like

583
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:19,880
Speaker 1: I don't know, like what is your.

584
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:22,919
Speaker 2: Like how do you want life to go for you?

585
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,159
Speaker 2: Like I'm just curious. This is just me, like mentor

586
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:28,320
Speaker 2: Tiffany asking you, like how is it? You know?

587
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:30,159
Speaker 1: I know you're doing this and you're doing well. But

588
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:32,120
Speaker 1: I've seen so many people who have totally checked out.

589
00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:34,040
Speaker 1: I don't even know if you've noticed. Lately a lot

590
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:38,280
Speaker 1: of people literally have closed down their social media shops.

591
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:42,040
Speaker 1: That's been like a real trend of overwork and overwhelm.

592
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:45,200
Speaker 1: So I'm just curious, like what would you like to

593
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:48,439
Speaker 1: see for yourself in the next like two, five, ten years,

594
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:50,080
Speaker 1: Like what direction you want to go in? Like what

595
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:52,040
Speaker 1: are your big and small goals?

596
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:56,320
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, great question and a wonderful time to

597
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:58,680
Speaker 4: ask it, because I'm after this after this week, I'm

598
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:01,960
Speaker 4: taking off like three weeks. It's my official like stop

599
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 4: after the book tour. Like I keep I keep using

600
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:08,560
Speaker 4: the metaphor with my god, I'm drink every time I

601
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:12,040
Speaker 4: say metaphor. I keep using the metaphor with my therapist

602
00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:13,600
Speaker 4: of just like you know, you're like running a race

603
00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:15,760
Speaker 4: and you get you sprint across the finish line. But

604
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:17,399
Speaker 4: once you get across the finish line, you can't just

605
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:20,400
Speaker 4: stop right like you have to You have to run slower,

606
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:21,720
Speaker 4: and then you got a jog, and then you got

607
00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 4: to walk, and then you have to stop eventually and

608
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:28,280
Speaker 4: like drink water and eat food. My typical I feel

609
00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:30,360
Speaker 4: like this is very first gen daughter of immigrant behavior.

610
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,480
Speaker 4: But if I don't check myself, I will jog, I

611
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:35,520
Speaker 4: will walk, and then I'll start jogging again. I might

612
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:38,239
Speaker 4: not even walk and I jog and then start sprinting, like,

613
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:41,120
Speaker 4: because all we know is to push and work and

614
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:44,400
Speaker 4: try and achieve. And so I'm trying to take this

615
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:48,680
Speaker 4: summer to practice differently, right, to like correct my behavior

616
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:52,520
Speaker 4: and actually give myself three weeks off in June and

617
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:55,040
Speaker 4: then give myself the whole rest of the summer to

618
00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:58,160
Speaker 4: just go slow. For a lot of us, I imagine

619
00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:00,720
Speaker 4: maybe this is true for parts of your business too,

620
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:03,320
Speaker 4: But there's like a nice summer slow down, and I'm

621
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:06,560
Speaker 4: like trying to lean into that. And what I want

622
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:08,480
Speaker 4: for like five to ten years from now, I just

623
00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:11,600
Speaker 4: I want to be softer. I spent the first thirty

624
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:14,560
Speaker 4: three years of my first gen ass alpha daughter, app.

625
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:17,360
Speaker 5: Can I say, ass, Yeah, yeah, okay, get it.

626
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:21,000
Speaker 4: I spent the first thirty three years of my first

627
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:24,800
Speaker 4: gen ass alpha daughter of immigrants ass going hard and

628
00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:29,160
Speaker 4: sprinting all the time and never never having a leisurely stroll. Right.

629
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:30,800
Speaker 4: I don't know how to do that, so I need

630
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:33,280
Speaker 4: to teach myself how to do that. And knowing that

631
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:36,920
Speaker 4: I've spent so much of this part of my life sprinting,

632
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:38,760
Speaker 4: what would the rest of my life look like if

633
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:41,680
Speaker 4: I went slow on purpose? What would it look like

634
00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:44,000
Speaker 4: if I were soft and gentle to myself and took

635
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:48,360
Speaker 4: my time and like finally believed my own hype. I

636
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:52,200
Speaker 4: think part of why folks like me keep running even

637
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:55,080
Speaker 4: when we've accomplished so much is we don't let ourselves

638
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:58,400
Speaker 4: internalize or trust what we've already achieved, and we don't

639
00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:02,800
Speaker 4: ever let ourselves like it kind of be on our own,

640
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:05,040
Speaker 4: like that's not even just hype, because that makes it

641
00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:08,120
Speaker 4: sound like sort of helium. We don't let ourselves trust

642
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:11,400
Speaker 4: the foundation we've actually set and the work we've actually

643
00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:15,600
Speaker 4: put behind us, and really kind of put trust in

644
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:20,160
Speaker 4: our own abilities that like already happened. I want to

645
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:23,520
Speaker 4: go soft and go slow. And the question I keep

646
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:25,440
Speaker 4: asking myself is like, what kind of abundance?

647
00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:25,640
Speaker 2: I know?

648
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:28,120
Speaker 4: What kind of abundance can come up if I work

649
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:31,080
Speaker 4: my butt off? Like manically, I understand that very intimately.

650
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:34,400
Speaker 4: What kind of abundance can happen if I don't work

651
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:35,040
Speaker 4: my butt off?

652
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:36,360
Speaker 5: If I go slow?

653
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:39,959
Speaker 4: If when I mean no, I say no as opposed

654
00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:44,880
Speaker 4: to you yes, because I'm scared you're gonna go away opportunity. Also,

655
00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:46,600
Speaker 4: in a more tangible sense, I want to start working

656
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:50,320
Speaker 4: on this next summer. My dream as an entrepreneur has

657
00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:54,800
Speaker 4: always been to work during the school year so that

658
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 4: during the summertime I could take all my weeks off

659
00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:00,880
Speaker 4: and be a summer camp auntie, go back and work

660
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:05,280
Speaker 4: at summer camps in any degree because I worked as

661
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:09,760
Speaker 4: a teen camp programs director for three years. I worked

662
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:12,400
Speaker 4: in the summer basically leading fifteen to seventeen year olds

663
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:15,400
Speaker 4: and doing like leadership programs at camps. Best job of

664
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:21,240
Speaker 4: my entire life, worst paid, probably the most physically stressful

665
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:25,240
Speaker 4: and maybe mentally stressful, but it all the light bulbs

666
00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:28,040
Speaker 4: in my body light up when I'm at camp and

667
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 4: I'm working with young people at an overnight summer camp

668
00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:34,640
Speaker 4: who are specifically like young brown people who've never been

669
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:36,880
Speaker 4: to camp before. I never freaking touched a river, I

670
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 4: never heard a frog like that. I'm doing all this

671
00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:43,080
Speaker 4: so that I can disappear every summer and do like

672
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:45,280
Speaker 4: lead arts and crafts and campfire songs.

673
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:46,320
Speaker 2: I love that.

674
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:49,440
Speaker 4: I want it so bad, and I think I want

675
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:52,680
Speaker 4: to use this book as my vehicle to like launch

676
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:55,800
Speaker 4: myself into summer camps next summer and basically like you know,

677
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:59,040
Speaker 4: wave the book around and then also be like, okay, s'mores, Okay,

678
00:31:59,080 --> 00:31:59,640
Speaker 4: let's tell me.

679
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:05,320
Speaker 1: I love that you've gotten so specific with it, because yes,

680
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:07,920
Speaker 1: you know, like sometimes we don't even know, like you

681
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:09,640
Speaker 1: work so hard to your point.

682
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:11,400
Speaker 2: I call it launch mode. You know.

683
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:15,120
Speaker 1: Like so if anybody's ever like launched a book or

684
00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:17,959
Speaker 1: a business or whatever, you know, there's a certain energy

685
00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:22,480
Speaker 1: that's brought on, hyper vigilance, hyperwork, and you know there's

686
00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:24,800
Speaker 1: nothing wrong with that when you're launching the actual thing.

687
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:28,320
Speaker 1: But so many of us don't know how to deactivate

688
00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:30,480
Speaker 1: launch mode. It's like there's nothing actually launching, and I'm

689
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:34,040
Speaker 1: going just as hard and fast, you know, exactly.

690
00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:36,600
Speaker 5: Exactly, like you just live. Your default mode is launch mode.

691
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:37,440
Speaker 5: There's no relax.

692
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 4: Like my business coach Kristen always gets mad at me

693
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:43,880
Speaker 4: because she's like, okay, Like she's like, Okay, you just

694
00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:45,880
Speaker 4: launched this thing, you launched your membership, you did a

695
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:48,000
Speaker 4: week of classes, you launched a book.

696
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:49,280
Speaker 5: What are you going to do to relax?

697
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:52,040
Speaker 4: And I'm like, take a nap. She's like, Oh, that's

698
00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:54,800
Speaker 4: that's a biological need. What else are you going to do?

699
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:57,560
Speaker 4: I'm like, epasta. She's like, that's also a biological need.

700
00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:00,800
Speaker 4: What's indulgent that you're going to do? What's like, what's

701
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,360
Speaker 4: how are you going to treat yourself? And I blank,

702
00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:05,360
Speaker 4: I literally cannot answer it. And I think so many

703
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:07,560
Speaker 4: of us are in that same position because all we

704
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:10,600
Speaker 4: know is launch and we don't know. We even like

705
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:14,200
Speaker 4: shy away from and run away from celebrating ourselves and

706
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:16,360
Speaker 4: giving ourselves the credit and things like that. And so

707
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:19,360
Speaker 4: I'm gonna try. I feel like a baby deer, like

708
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:22,280
Speaker 4: on wobbly legs trying it this summer and being like,

709
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:25,440
Speaker 4: what am I going to do for three weeks panic work?

710
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:28,560
Speaker 4: My business coach is like, and that's why we're going

711
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:30,040
Speaker 4: to structure your three weeks a little bit.

712
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:31,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm gonna take your laptop away.

713
00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:37,280
Speaker 1: Honestly, at my peak overwork and overwhelm, there was not

714
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:39,240
Speaker 1: a place I did not take my laptop. Literally, I

715
00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:42,120
Speaker 1: would take my laptop food chopping. Yeah, no, because you

716
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:43,080
Speaker 1: never knew, girl.

717
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:44,600
Speaker 2: I was like, you never know.

718
00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:48,000
Speaker 1: And there were times when I was in the aisle

719
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 1: and I would take it out because my admin would

720
00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:51,840
Speaker 1: text her, call me or whatever and be like, oh hey, Tippy,

721
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:54,120
Speaker 1: this is a contract you have to review as if

722
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:56,280
Speaker 1: she said or else the world is going to be

723
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:58,880
Speaker 1: bombed or something. Yeah, I'm like, girl, I think you

724
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:00,240
Speaker 1: can wait till you get home and you put the

725
00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:00,720
Speaker 1: eggs up.

726
00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:03,720
Speaker 2: But I would be like girls say less, and I

727
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:06,720
Speaker 2: would take out my laptop in the supermarket on my

728
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:10,200
Speaker 2: card and be like done and hot spot. I did not.

729
00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:13,600
Speaker 1: I did not know I had a problem until I

730
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:15,160
Speaker 1: didn't think you would think that was it, but no,

731
00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:18,240
Speaker 1: I remember distinctly. I was getting like my annual checkup,

732
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:21,279
Speaker 1: and I was like waiting in the doctor's office and

733
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:22,960
Speaker 1: I was wait, wearing you know, like I don't know,

734
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:25,200
Speaker 1: like you know, the little gown, just sitting waiting and

735
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:26,920
Speaker 1: I had my laptop on my life and I was working.

736
00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:29,200
Speaker 1: So she yes, and I'm not totally normal, because girl,

737
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:30,360
Speaker 1: I want to wait ten fifteen minutes.

738
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:31,080
Speaker 2: What will I do with my.

739
00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:34,200
Speaker 3: Hands literally forty five seconds of rest email.

740
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:38,319
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, not my cell phone, my laptop. So she comes in.

741
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:40,360
Speaker 1: So before before she came in, you know, like the

742
00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:43,239
Speaker 1: nurse or I'm guessing us to know, she she you know,

743
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:45,440
Speaker 1: take your blood pressure, take your vitals, and they come

744
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:46,719
Speaker 1: in and then she was like, so.

745
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:52,000
Speaker 2: Your blood pressure is really high.

746
00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:55,120
Speaker 1: And I was like really, I was like, yes, why

747
00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:58,080
Speaker 1: I guess on hold on real quick, doctor just wrapping

748
00:34:58,120 --> 00:34:59,160
Speaker 1: up this email and.

749
00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:02,520
Speaker 5: Said what I was like, is it?

750
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:05,160
Speaker 1: She was like, this is the second time you come

751
00:35:05,160 --> 00:35:07,160
Speaker 1: in and it's a little elevated. I was like, I

752
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 1: think because I run up the stairs. She looked at

753
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:10,759
Speaker 1: the laptop and looked at me and was like, the

754
00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:11,640
Speaker 1: delusion is real.

755
00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:12,520
Speaker 3: Yes.

756
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:15,440
Speaker 1: It was like typically do you always work this much?

757
00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:17,000
Speaker 1: I was like, no, it's just right now. You know,

758
00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:20,400
Speaker 1: we have a project. And it didn't really click to me.

759
00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:23,880
Speaker 1: I had I was in such a level of stress

760
00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:27,200
Speaker 1: I did it. So I'll give you example. Like when

761
00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:30,520
Speaker 1: I was in college, this like my first real like

762
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:34,080
Speaker 1: major crush. He said, smell smoke hellowed. I did not

763
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:35,880
Speaker 1: know this because I was like grew up super sheltered

764
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:37,120
Speaker 1: or whatever. I was like and no judgment.

765
00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:40,520
Speaker 2: But I remember one time I was like, you seem

766
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 2: weird today. Are you okay? He was like, oh, I'm

767
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:47,960
Speaker 2: not high. Wait what he was like, Oh no, I

768
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:48,719
Speaker 2: spoke a lot of we You.

769
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:49,160
Speaker 4: Didn't know that.

770
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:52,279
Speaker 2: I was like, I did not know. He's like, what

771
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:53,840
Speaker 2: do you think that smell was? I'm like, I do

772
00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 2: not know colone.

773
00:35:56,960 --> 00:36:01,760
Speaker 1: So for me, I was so rested that when I wasn't,

774
00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:04,120
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, because I'm not high meaning like

775
00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:07,239
Speaker 1: I was. That was my when someone was like, is

776
00:36:07,239 --> 00:36:10,200
Speaker 1: everything okay, Tiffany, it was like, wait, I didn't know

777
00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:12,160
Speaker 1: I was so stressed. I did not know I was

778
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:15,440
Speaker 1: stressed because that was just life. I bet that was

779
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:17,600
Speaker 1: one time that said like some of you guys think

780
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:20,040
Speaker 1: your mourning people, but it's your anxiety waking you up.

781
00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:25,640
Speaker 1: It read me for fifth because I, honestly I was

782
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:27,440
Speaker 1: wake up every morning at five. I was like, I

783
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:28,920
Speaker 1: don't I remember I used to prove myself I don't

784
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:31,680
Speaker 1: need an alarm clocks. I was like my internal clock

785
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:35,280
Speaker 1: fee up click, it's my anxiety, Like get up, girl,

786
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:40,200
Speaker 1: you don't get no. I honestly I don't care if

787
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:42,520
Speaker 1: I went to bed at one five o'clock, oh, to

788
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:45,680
Speaker 1: bed two five o'clock, like I could not sleep. Beyond that,

789
00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:48,160
Speaker 1: I couldn't, and I thought that It was like, you know,

790
00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:49,520
Speaker 1: I'm just working really hard.

791
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:50,480
Speaker 2: This is what it looks like.

792
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:54,719
Speaker 1: And I just worked myself into where it got so

793
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:56,960
Speaker 1: bad that she was like, Okay, I want you to

794
00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:00,319
Speaker 1: take home this blood pressureroom like machine, and I want

795
00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:03,279
Speaker 1: you every day to put in your numbers in the

796
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:05,279
Speaker 1: morning and the evening so I can see because I

797
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:06,360
Speaker 1: told her I'm not taking medicine.

798
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:07,760
Speaker 2: I'm not eighty girls not happy.

799
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:09,759
Speaker 1: Because I try to. I convent her. It's because I

800
00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:11,400
Speaker 1: ran up the stairs. I'm just a little stress in

801
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:13,320
Speaker 1: this moment. But I'm good either way. She's like, okay,

802
00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:17,239
Speaker 1: proven and so I'm almost positive at like like a

803
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:19,839
Speaker 1: healthy blood pressure is like one twenty over eighty. I mean,

804
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:22,759
Speaker 1: just let's see see what healthy blood pressure is. And

805
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:26,200
Speaker 1: so I took the machine home and child, let me

806
00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:30,960
Speaker 1: see healthy blood I'm healthy. H We're googling it a girl,

807
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:36,839
Speaker 1: because Google knows healthy blood pressure, right, So yes, one

808
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:42,600
Speaker 1: twenty over eight, but it's considered healthy. Mine was saying

809
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:44,920
Speaker 1: like one sixty over hundred. I mean that's like go

810
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,799
Speaker 1: to the hospital now. And I remember being like, so

811
00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:49,200
Speaker 1: the first time I did it was like one forty

812
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:52,560
Speaker 1: one fifty over like you know, like ninety or something.

813
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:55,759
Speaker 2: I was like, right, huh seems and I really was

814
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:57,120
Speaker 2: like uh, So I kept taking it.

815
00:37:57,320 --> 00:37:59,520
Speaker 1: So finally my sister was home and I was like, girl,

816
00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:03,240
Speaker 1: come come take this, come use this broken machine.

817
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:04,640
Speaker 2: Her said, one twenty over eighty.

818
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:07,560
Speaker 1: I was like, m So, my bonus daughter Lissa, who's

819
00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:10,799
Speaker 1: like seven, that's the time, like fourteen, list come take

820
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:13,480
Speaker 1: this machine and it was like one twenty over eighty.

821
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:15,319
Speaker 1: I was like, and then I would take mine and

822
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:17,520
Speaker 1: it would be higher one sixty over set or something,

823
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:19,440
Speaker 1: and I'm like, this got to be broken.

824
00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:20,960
Speaker 2: But only when I put it on my arm. I

825
00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:24,240
Speaker 2: just I could not conceptualize how could my blood pressure

826
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:26,399
Speaker 2: be so because I was always perfect blood pressure girl

827
00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:29,600
Speaker 2: in green health. And by then, by then I was

828
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:31,560
Speaker 2: like I was thirty pounds heavier than I am now,

829
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:34,040
Speaker 2: but I'm like I've been thick before, right, you know,

830
00:38:34,239 --> 00:38:36,279
Speaker 2: And is it the weight? No?

831
00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:40,560
Speaker 1: I was so stressed from how much work that I

832
00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:42,759
Speaker 1: was doing. And I remember at the peak is when

833
00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:45,680
Speaker 1: my business was making its most we had him ten

834
00:38:45,719 --> 00:38:48,759
Speaker 1: million dollars that year. Wow, and we were like we

835
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:52,120
Speaker 1: were making the most and I felt physically the worst.

836
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:52,879
Speaker 6: Wow.

837
00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:56,279
Speaker 2: I was like, you know, and it took I was

838
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:59,480
Speaker 2: on that space. It wasn't until really, like my husband

839
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:02,480
Speaker 2: draw pasay, that it like hit me like a ton

840
00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:05,640
Speaker 2: of bricks, where it was like, what is this salt for? Again?

841
00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:10,440
Speaker 1: Nothing is more clarifying than death, you know, And I

842
00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:14,440
Speaker 1: just was like, I remember distinctly asking myself, You're going

843
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:17,680
Speaker 1: to have to choose between having the space to grieve

844
00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:23,239
Speaker 1: or managing this health, Tiffany, because you actually don't have

845
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:24,719
Speaker 1: the energy for both.

846
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:27,920
Speaker 2: So if you want to have the space to grieve,

847
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:28,480
Speaker 2: I need.

848
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:32,520
Speaker 1: You to remove the stress, eat better, and start moving

849
00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:35,200
Speaker 1: your body, because I need I need. I didn't have

850
00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:37,719
Speaker 1: the energy to manage both, you know what I mean, Like, no,

851
00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:40,520
Speaker 1: I can't be dragging like this, like heart that's not

852
00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:43,440
Speaker 1: working when the heart is already broken, you know. And

853
00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 1: so I just it was in that moment. I went

854
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:50,360
Speaker 1: to Bali for two months, and there's like no sugar

855
00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:54,279
Speaker 1: available unless you want to pine apple, and you know,

856
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 1: outside is fresh and clean, and you're walking everywhere and

857
00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:58,920
Speaker 1: the beach every day and swimming every day. And so

858
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:02,759
Speaker 1: I dropped like fifteen pounds from like grief as well

859
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:06,160
Speaker 1: as just like you know, like doing being better to myself.

860
00:40:06,239 --> 00:40:10,120
Speaker 1: I came back and I totally reorganized my companies because

861
00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:12,080
Speaker 1: there was just a lot of people that were working

862
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:15,640
Speaker 1: here that were awesome, nice people, but I just was

863
00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:18,759
Speaker 1: like overpaying because just I wanted to overcompensate for women

864
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:22,520
Speaker 1: of color and like I just we had way more

865
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:25,160
Speaker 1: people than we needed. I was paying way more than

866
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:28,080
Speaker 1: what I what really that the company could bear, just

867
00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:31,319
Speaker 1: because like I said, I want to overcompensate, and but

868
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:33,479
Speaker 1: it meant that I had to work really really hard

869
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:37,000
Speaker 1: to maintain that, and so I had to restructure the company.

870
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:38,960
Speaker 1: And now I can say my blood pressure is back

871
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:41,560
Speaker 1: to normal. I'm back to one twenty over eighty yay,

872
00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:45,160
Speaker 1: down thirty pounds. And when I tell you, m I

873
00:40:45,239 --> 00:40:49,759
Speaker 1: walk about an hour and some change every you know,

874
00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:55,759
Speaker 1: every day, and I take a nap daily, and I

875
00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:58,120
Speaker 1: do not overwork and overwhelm. I take about three months

876
00:40:58,120 --> 00:41:01,560
Speaker 1: off a year. And like even now, I had, like today,

877
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:03,520
Speaker 1: I had like a team call and I call that

878
00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:04,920
Speaker 1: I do walking calls.

879
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:07,040
Speaker 2: So I was like it was so nice outside.

880
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:08,399
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, you know, I'm gonna do the call,

881
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:10,200
Speaker 1: and y'all, you know, if you want to be on zoom,

882
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:12,040
Speaker 1: that's cute for you, but I will be on zoom

883
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:14,920
Speaker 1: dialing and then I'm mute because the birds are chirping,

884
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:15,279
Speaker 1: so lod.

885
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:17,640
Speaker 2: I'm like, all right, you're up next, logan mute.

886
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:20,839
Speaker 5: You know, and so you're like snow white in my head.

887
00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:26,200
Speaker 2: But literally that's just the birds sucking.

888
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:29,080
Speaker 1: Sorry, but I realized that my bad habits were also

889
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:32,080
Speaker 1: pouring into the team because they were overworking as well too.

890
00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:34,319
Speaker 1: And so I do the walking calls and I let

891
00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:35,799
Speaker 1: them hear that because I let them know you can

892
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:38,120
Speaker 1: be outside too. I'm not mad at that unless you're

893
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:41,960
Speaker 1: physically presenting something, you can be outside. You can take

894
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:43,440
Speaker 1: your you know, you can take the call while you're

895
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:47,120
Speaker 1: getting your hair braided, you know, like and so yeah,

896
00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:49,000
Speaker 1: I want that. So for all my mentees and things,

897
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:51,600
Speaker 1: I'm always leaning into just like you know, I want

898
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:55,239
Speaker 1: you life to meet you healthy, happy hole that what

899
00:41:55,239 --> 00:41:57,880
Speaker 1: you're doing should be a tool for that, not the

900
00:41:57,880 --> 00:41:59,800
Speaker 1: thing itself. I don't want you to be overworked and

901
00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:03,120
Speaker 1: over and certainly, you know, book launch time. I understand

902
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:05,000
Speaker 1: that you have to launch, but I'm so glad you

903
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:08,759
Speaker 1: have a definitive I'm out of launch mode. And like

904
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:11,839
Speaker 1: the big sister in me is like, hey, you know,

905
00:42:12,040 --> 00:42:13,880
Speaker 1: do you have a kind of like these do you

906
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:15,840
Speaker 1: Cause we talked about like after now the book, you

907
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:18,120
Speaker 1: know you're not in heavy launch mode. You know, hopefully

908
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:21,200
Speaker 1: you have like a warming pot where the book continues

909
00:42:21,239 --> 00:42:24,160
Speaker 1: to like be out there without you physically having to

910
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:26,880
Speaker 1: like be so present, you know, like how I do

911
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:28,759
Speaker 1: my Friday post that kind of talk about the book.

912
00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:30,160
Speaker 1: But I'm like, girl, those are light lists, but it

913
00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:33,319
Speaker 1: does make a big difference, you know. And thing, so

914
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:35,480
Speaker 1: do you have something like lined up like that.

915
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:36,400
Speaker 5: I do have.

916
00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:39,080
Speaker 4: I'm working with for the first time ever, working with

917
00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:43,440
Speaker 4: a social media person who, like I've I've always sort

918
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:45,399
Speaker 4: of if I've worked as a social media person before,

919
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:47,319
Speaker 4: I've like shared the rains a little bit, but I was.

920
00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:48,000
Speaker 5: Always the poster.

921
00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:50,480
Speaker 4: I was always still like the front and so it's

922
00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:52,920
Speaker 4: been really interesting for me to actually hand the keys

923
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:55,719
Speaker 4: over and like you post what you when you tell

924
00:42:55,800 --> 00:42:59,479
Speaker 4: me what like what needs to be posted you post,

925
00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:01,560
Speaker 4: you give me a ideas you post for like on

926
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:04,279
Speaker 4: behalf of Me. And we were talking about like how

927
00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:06,960
Speaker 4: can we post consistently throughout the summer. So I'm not

928
00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:09,719
Speaker 4: like making a new video series, you know, I'm not

929
00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:11,359
Speaker 4: like putting hell a work into it because I still

930
00:43:11,360 --> 00:43:13,359
Speaker 4: want to be a little offline. But what can we

931
00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:16,040
Speaker 4: automate and what routines can we set kind of like

932
00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:17,840
Speaker 4: like your get good with Money Fridays?

933
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:18,799
Speaker 3: Is it what it is?

934
00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:22,120
Speaker 4: What can we automate to the people, like it's like

935
00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:25,120
Speaker 4: a very consistent low lift drum meat. So I'm actually

936
00:43:25,120 --> 00:43:28,000
Speaker 4: conceptualizing that right now, like these next couple of weeks

937
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:31,880
Speaker 4: with my social media person Cat, because I've found someone

938
00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:34,600
Speaker 4: that I trust to speak to my community almost like

939
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:37,399
Speaker 4: on my behalf and like share that load with, which

940
00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:42,000
Speaker 4: is my little baby step towards like actual passive work.

941
00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:45,080
Speaker 4: I think there's like a first gen resistance in me.

942
00:43:45,239 --> 00:43:47,879
Speaker 4: Like part of my new brain is like I love

943
00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:51,120
Speaker 4: passes stuff, like yes, we love to work less, do less,

944
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:52,200
Speaker 4: do more, get more.

945
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:53,800
Speaker 5: But there's still a part of other part of my

946
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:56,880
Speaker 5: brain that's like, is that a scam? If I'm not sweating,

947
00:43:57,320 --> 00:44:01,240
Speaker 5: do I deserve the accolades afterwards? I should be crying.

948
00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:03,279
Speaker 4: I should be crying right If I'm not crying right now,

949
00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:06,480
Speaker 4: then well it's not real work. And so I'm like

950
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:10,759
Speaker 4: slowly trying to turn that bus around and have that going.

951
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:13,600
Speaker 4: And I'm also hoping on We're planning on a fall

952
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:16,319
Speaker 4: tour once school is back in session for me to

953
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:18,400
Speaker 4: be able since you know we're pushing this, like you

954
00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:21,640
Speaker 4: young brown people need to have this book agenda, lining

955
00:44:21,719 --> 00:44:23,520
Speaker 4: up lots of speaking gigs for the fall. So I'm

956
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:25,840
Speaker 4: sort of I think this is something that you and

957
00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:28,600
Speaker 4: I have talked about a lot in our mentorship sessions.

958
00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:32,120
Speaker 4: It's like seasons, you know, like there's a season for like, ah,

959
00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:35,160
Speaker 4: I'm out, I'm doing this, and there's equal value in

960
00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:39,600
Speaker 4: being like I'm hiding, I'm conceptualizing, I'm you know, yeah,

961
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:43,080
Speaker 4: I'm recharging my energy. So trying to find the balance.

962
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:45,600
Speaker 1: No, I love that, and I love that and honestly too,

963
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:48,000
Speaker 1: just remember that sometimes it's not balance, it's harmony. Right,

964
00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:51,000
Speaker 1: So yaws, the sopranos they're slaying, and you know, the

965
00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:53,400
Speaker 1: altos are just like the humming in the background, and

966
00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:55,160
Speaker 1: sometimes the alsos are like, girl, it's my solo.

967
00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:56,399
Speaker 5: Yeah, you know.

968
00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:59,040
Speaker 1: So there are moments in time where you're like, you're

969
00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:01,279
Speaker 1: more partner than and you are daughter, You're more darter

970
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:04,920
Speaker 1: than you are sister. You're more sister than you are bestie,

971
00:45:05,360 --> 00:45:07,600
Speaker 1: you know, and there's nothing wrong with that. Harmony means

972
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:10,040
Speaker 1: it's for the betterment of the overall song of your life,

973
00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:10,480
Speaker 1: you know.

974
00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:11,640
Speaker 5: Yes, one hundred percent.

975
00:45:11,640 --> 00:45:13,400
Speaker 4: And I think what's really hard And it sounds like

976
00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:15,520
Speaker 4: I heard this in your story too, talking about how

977
00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:17,920
Speaker 4: grief was clarifying for you and your life was like

978
00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:21,120
Speaker 4: you need to give something up. So much of us

979
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:23,680
Speaker 4: again in this like first gen alpha kid mentality is like, no,

980
00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:26,680
Speaker 4: we do everything. We check all the boxes, we keep

981
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:31,920
Speaker 4: all the plates warm, like all the burners are burning

982
00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:33,520
Speaker 4: bright right, like we yeah, we can do it all,

983
00:45:33,560 --> 00:45:35,640
Speaker 4: we can do it all, but that's a lie that

984
00:45:35,719 --> 00:45:39,080
Speaker 4: we have been sold and continue to sell ourselves. And

985
00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:42,640
Speaker 4: so letting go of that and really embracing the fact

986
00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:44,799
Speaker 4: that like no, you really you can't, or you can

987
00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:46,839
Speaker 4: try and do everything, but here's what happens. You hit

988
00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:50,239
Speaker 4: a wall, your blood pressure spikes, like you know, you

989
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:53,480
Speaker 4: can try. It's letting go of that, like she can

990
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:55,400
Speaker 4: do everything, she's a superhero.

991
00:45:55,680 --> 00:45:57,560
Speaker 5: Like letting go of that.

992
00:45:57,600 --> 00:45:59,920
Speaker 4: There's fear, for sure, I'm afraid to let go of that,

993
00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:02,600
Speaker 4: and it's because it's all we know and being that

994
00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:05,919
Speaker 4: has given us so much. But like letting go, what

995
00:46:06,120 --> 00:46:08,840
Speaker 4: instead are you making room for that actually could be

996
00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:14,000
Speaker 4: more expansive and more healing than high achievement or like

997
00:46:14,040 --> 00:46:18,319
Speaker 4: oh the money. That's so hard to retrain, at least

998
00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:21,480
Speaker 4: for me, very difficult to reach my brain around, but trying.

999
00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:22,960
Speaker 2: It is because the world.

1000
00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:29,600
Speaker 1: The world rewards, you know, like I would say outward

1001
00:46:29,680 --> 00:46:33,000
Speaker 1: high achievement. Yes, you know, like oh my gosh, you

1002
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:36,319
Speaker 1: know they have that sticker on their book or on

1003
00:46:36,320 --> 00:46:39,719
Speaker 1: that TV show or they're making how much and it

1004
00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:42,400
Speaker 1: isn't I would still be on that train head Like

1005
00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:45,479
Speaker 1: life literally just sat me down because it's very hard

1006
00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:46,399
Speaker 1: to retrain your brain.

1007
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:47,120
Speaker 2: You know.

1008
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:49,040
Speaker 1: That's why I don't spend as much time on social

1009
00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:51,719
Speaker 1: media like I used to, you know, unless I'm watching

1010
00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:56,560
Speaker 1: somebody renovate their house, because me watching other people succeed externally,

1011
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:58,319
Speaker 1: it's very hard not to say I want to get

1012
00:46:58,320 --> 00:47:00,440
Speaker 1: that too, even if I don't actually want to. What

1013
00:47:00,440 --> 00:47:02,640
Speaker 1: I'm really saying is I want that at work. I

1014
00:47:02,680 --> 00:47:07,000
Speaker 1: want the external accolades as well, yes, now, because that's

1015
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:09,120
Speaker 1: how you bring value if you you know, are you

1016
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:13,040
Speaker 1: not valuable if people don't know and so like yeah,

1017
00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:14,759
Speaker 1: I just was like, oh, I'm tired. I don't want

1018
00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:15,239
Speaker 1: to play that game.

1019
00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:16,719
Speaker 2: Let them have it. I don't care. I want an

1020
00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:17,520
Speaker 2: actual good.

1021
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:19,759
Speaker 5: Life exactly exactly.

1022
00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:22,400
Speaker 4: It's this has been really difficult to contend with in

1023
00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:24,640
Speaker 4: the middle of my launching because of course, like I'm

1024
00:47:24,680 --> 00:47:27,200
Speaker 4: like launching the book I like have dreams of being

1025
00:47:27,239 --> 00:47:29,880
Speaker 4: on all Besset litters or whatever. And at the same time,

1026
00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:33,080
Speaker 4: I'm like, wait, are you enjoying the process? Like will

1027
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:34,799
Speaker 4: you look back on this time of your life and

1028
00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:38,040
Speaker 4: be like I was so stressed. I was like, you know,

1029
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:40,399
Speaker 4: like it's been really interesting for me to go Like, Okay,

1030
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:42,120
Speaker 4: here's one way the book launch could go. I could

1031
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:45,719
Speaker 4: stress myself the hell out trying so hard to accomplish

1032
00:47:45,800 --> 00:47:46,400
Speaker 4: these things.

1033
00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:48,560
Speaker 3: Do I actually want those things?

1034
00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:50,799
Speaker 4: What would it look like to achieve them or get

1035
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:53,000
Speaker 4: on that show or do that thing? And at the

1036
00:47:53,080 --> 00:47:54,600
Speaker 4: end of the day does that Did you have a

1037
00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:56,319
Speaker 4: good time? Again, I'm talking to my inner child. Did

1038
00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:58,480
Speaker 4: I have a good time? Was it memorable?

1039
00:47:59,040 --> 00:47:59,120
Speaker 1: Like?

1040
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:02,200
Speaker 4: Am I now no longer present at these amazing events?

1041
00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:04,120
Speaker 4: And like my family through me a surprise party, Like

1042
00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:06,239
Speaker 4: these are the things I want to like invest my

1043
00:48:06,360 --> 00:48:08,960
Speaker 4: energy in and be present for. One of my really

1044
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:12,520
Speaker 4: good friends, Mimi. She's an author that I met in

1045
00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:16,200
Speaker 4: my coworking space in San Francisco. She is like the

1046
00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:18,319
Speaker 4: A few weeks before launch, she was like, I want

1047
00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:20,200
Speaker 4: you to know She's like, I, No, You're a highly

1048
00:48:20,239 --> 00:48:23,200
Speaker 4: ambitious individual and all these things are gonna happen. It's

1049
00:48:23,239 --> 00:48:25,319
Speaker 4: going to be great. You're gonna be triggered to try

1050
00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:27,799
Speaker 4: to make more things happen. Please know you already did

1051
00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:28,399
Speaker 4: the hard work.

1052
00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:30,960
Speaker 5: You wrote the book. You already did it.

1053
00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:35,000
Speaker 4: If you don't do anything to like extra promote this book,

1054
00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:38,239
Speaker 4: it takes nothing away from the accomplishment. Like you can

1055
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:40,840
Speaker 4: lay down and let launch day happen, show up at

1056
00:48:40,840 --> 00:48:43,200
Speaker 4: your events, and then go back to sleep, and no

1057
00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:45,840
Speaker 4: jury in the world would convict you of not doing enough.

1058
00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:49,040
Speaker 4: That's the monster in your head telling you. But like,

1059
00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:52,600
Speaker 4: you did it already, Like authors need to say that

1060
00:48:52,640 --> 00:48:54,800
Speaker 4: to other authors, like you already did the hard work.

1061
00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:57,120
Speaker 4: And so I've been leaning into that and whenever I

1062
00:48:57,160 --> 00:48:58,480
Speaker 4: have a moment in the last few weeks of like wait,

1063
00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:01,080
Speaker 4: should I be posting today? Should I should?

1064
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:04,680
Speaker 5: But I'm like, I already did it. Come on now,

1065
00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:05,319
Speaker 5: like don't want to.

1066
00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:07,839
Speaker 2: Get to ask saying me it right?

1067
00:49:08,160 --> 00:49:10,279
Speaker 4: Thank you, me, me, me me lack incredible. She's like

1068
00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:13,440
Speaker 4: you already. She's also like I'm older and you make

1069
00:49:13,480 --> 00:49:15,040
Speaker 4: me tired. So I just want to let you know

1070
00:49:16,520 --> 00:49:18,279
Speaker 4: what you do is amazing. I'm tired of just look

1071
00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:20,960
Speaker 4: at your social media and I hope that you're like,

1072
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:23,359
Speaker 4: you're doing this because you like it, not because you

1073
00:49:23,480 --> 00:49:25,640
Speaker 4: feel like you have to, Because you already did all

1074
00:49:25,719 --> 00:49:28,200
Speaker 4: the have to you did lean back.

1075
00:49:28,560 --> 00:49:31,560
Speaker 2: I was like, okay. My therapist would say, not have

1076
00:49:31,680 --> 00:49:35,800
Speaker 2: to get to get to or want to. She was like, Tiffany,

1077
00:49:36,200 --> 00:49:38,720
Speaker 2: and I feel like I should. She's like, not should,

1078
00:49:38,880 --> 00:49:42,560
Speaker 2: but could or want to? You get to decide. Oh,

1079
00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:44,680
Speaker 2: thank you for coming on. You're awesome.

1080
00:49:45,280 --> 00:49:45,960
Speaker 5: You're amazed.

1081
00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:49,040
Speaker 4: Every every time we talk, Tiffany, it's like, I don't know.

1082
00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:50,960
Speaker 4: It's like it's like dipping my heart in honey. It's

1083
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:53,760
Speaker 4: like my heart is just like in a spa.

1084
00:49:53,920 --> 00:49:58,120
Speaker 1: I love that honey is both sweet and it's foliating exactly.

1085
00:49:57,920 --> 00:49:59,560
Speaker 3: And it has antibacterial properties.

1086
00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:06,680
Speaker 1: Right, So where could the girlies get money out loud

1087
00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:08,279
Speaker 1: and where can they connect with you?

1088
00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:09,239
Speaker 2: No matter where you are.

1089
00:50:09,719 --> 00:50:12,439
Speaker 4: Of course, you can get money out loud anywhere that

1090
00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:15,040
Speaker 4: you buy books, and you can get the audiobook as well,

1091
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:17,520
Speaker 4: anywhere that you get audiobooks. But I really stress you

1092
00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:20,439
Speaker 4: go independent. I love pointing people to bookshop dot Org,

1093
00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:25,880
Speaker 4: bookshop dot com. Sorry, well oh right, okay, let me

1094
00:50:25,880 --> 00:50:29,000
Speaker 4: start it. I actually love pointing people to bookshop dot

1095
00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:31,960
Speaker 4: org because they are an organization where you can either

1096
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:35,000
Speaker 4: buy from an independent bookstore or every purchase supports an

1097
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:37,640
Speaker 4: independent bookstore, and those are the folks that really need

1098
00:50:37,680 --> 00:50:40,960
Speaker 4: your money. And also the audiobook. I narrate the audiobook.

1099
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:42,840
Speaker 4: That's something that I have not in terms of marketing.

1100
00:50:42,840 --> 00:50:44,759
Speaker 4: I have not told enough people that people are like

1101
00:50:44,880 --> 00:50:47,399
Speaker 4: I wish you would and I'm like, damn it better

1102
00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:49,680
Speaker 4: on this one. But I narrate the audiobook. So if

1103
00:50:49,719 --> 00:50:53,120
Speaker 4: you find me entertaining in your ears, then you can

1104
00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:55,680
Speaker 4: listen to the book, and then you can find me

1105
00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:58,440
Speaker 4: everywhere at hey Berna. I'll be going a little quieter

1106
00:50:58,480 --> 00:51:01,080
Speaker 4: on socials this summer, but I will be back to

1107
00:51:01,080 --> 00:51:03,719
Speaker 4: my full obnoxiousness in the fall. So you have till

1108
00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:04,560
Speaker 4: then to unfollow me.

1109
00:51:06,160 --> 00:51:08,839
Speaker 2: We welcome the crazy. I love it.

1110
00:51:08,840 --> 00:51:11,600
Speaker 1: So yes, Hey Burner on all the things, Heyburner dot com.

1111
00:51:11,880 --> 00:51:15,560
Speaker 2: Money out Loud, available wherever books are. So but I

1112
00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:18,680
Speaker 2: do you go to a book bookshop right bookshop dot org.

1113
00:51:18,760 --> 00:51:22,319
Speaker 1: Yes, go ahead and get it, rich Auntie for you

1114
00:51:22,400 --> 00:51:25,279
Speaker 1: and your little nibbling. You know, if you got a

1115
00:51:25,320 --> 00:51:27,440
Speaker 1: young person in your life, a college student, it's actually

1116
00:51:27,440 --> 00:51:30,080
Speaker 1: a perfect time for college because if your if your child,

1117
00:51:30,239 --> 00:51:33,040
Speaker 1: or you know a child that you know is going

1118
00:51:33,040 --> 00:51:35,680
Speaker 1: off to college that summer before it's time to sit

1119
00:51:35,719 --> 00:51:38,480
Speaker 1: down and have talks with them. That talks about drinking,

1120
00:51:38,640 --> 00:51:41,800
Speaker 1: talks about safety, that talks about money. It's perfect timing,

1121
00:51:42,120 --> 00:51:45,760
Speaker 1: so money out loud by Burner, Annette, thank.

1122
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:50,720
Speaker 4: You feel it. It's going to be a low simmer

1123
00:51:50,719 --> 00:51:52,319
Speaker 4: this summer, so hopefully it doesn't hurt.

1124
00:51:52,719 --> 00:51:52,759
Speaker 6: No.

1125
00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:54,799
Speaker 2: I love it. Thank you Burner, thank you