WEBVTT - Your Magic Wand is Working 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:03.000 Hey, ba fan, Mandy here or Mandra, you can call 0:00:03.040 --> 0:00:06.000 me Mandra, that's fine. I have a simple request for you, guys. 0:00:06.040 --> 0:00:08.200 We get so many questions on how you can support 0:00:08.200 --> 0:00:10.719 the show, and there's really a very very simple thing 0:00:10.720 --> 0:00:13.440 that we need you guys to do. Open up this app, 0:00:13.520 --> 0:00:16.120 open up wherever you're listening to this podcast right now, 0:00:16.239 --> 0:00:19.239 and subscribe if you have the ability, especially those of 0:00:19.280 --> 0:00:21.840 you who are on iTunes. We're really making a push 0:00:21.880 --> 0:00:24.439 to get the show more visible. You've seen that we've 0:00:24.440 --> 0:00:27.400 partnered with a fabulous new network called Westwood One. But 0:00:27.480 --> 0:00:29.840 we also need the support of our listeners. 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Subscribe, like and review 0:01:05.040 --> 0:01:07.199 the show, and we thank you so much. 0:01:23.240 --> 0:01:28.120 Hey hey, I'm sick of black trauma. 0:01:28.560 --> 0:01:30.199 Oh hey, hey bye. 0:01:30.520 --> 0:01:34.440 I know listen, last week was rough. It was, and 0:01:34.480 --> 0:01:36.600 I'm not gonna lie. I really don't even want to, like, 0:01:36.640 --> 0:01:40.600 you know, because every podcast of my faves that I've 0:01:40.600 --> 0:01:44.399 listened to I kind of skipped like this past week 0:01:44.600 --> 0:01:47.960 because I was like, yeah, although I appreciate because obviously 0:01:47.960 --> 0:01:50.160 you don't want to pretend like nothing is happening. I 0:01:50.320 --> 0:01:53.160 just my soul is weary. 0:01:54.000 --> 0:01:57.440 I agree with you, and honestly, what I want people, 0:01:58.000 --> 0:02:00.440 I want other people besides black people talk about it. 0:02:01.080 --> 0:02:03.440 Let someone else be outraged for a while and in pain. 0:02:04.080 --> 0:02:05.880 I don't want to sit here. And I know we 0:02:05.960 --> 0:02:10.960 could just we could spend hours talking about the same 0:02:11.040 --> 0:02:13.720 thing that has been in reality for so long. You know, 0:02:13.760 --> 0:02:16.160 it's not like anything new. So I'm with you. I'm 0:02:16.160 --> 0:02:18.919 with you. My heart goes out to the families who 0:02:19.040 --> 0:02:24.680 have lost their loved ones senselessly because because of racism 0:02:25.120 --> 0:02:29.600 in this country. My heart also goes out to everybody 0:02:29.639 --> 0:02:33.000 who everybody black, everybody black like you and I, who 0:02:33.400 --> 0:02:35.200 have to find a way to deal with that trauma, 0:02:35.280 --> 0:02:38.240 carry that pain with us through our days to our 0:02:38.320 --> 0:02:40.640 day to day and just say, like, for me, the 0:02:40.720 --> 0:02:43.200 key has been one hour at a time, like hour 0:02:43.720 --> 0:02:45.160 one hour at a time, because I'll have a good 0:02:45.160 --> 0:02:48.120 hour and then a bad hour. But some things that 0:02:48.200 --> 0:02:52.880 have been giving me life and enjoy lately has been 0:02:53.120 --> 0:02:54.240 I redid my zenden. 0:02:54.800 --> 0:02:56.480 I know it was so cute because me and man 0:02:56.800 --> 0:02:58.880 manager just tape something earlier. I was like, I had to. 0:02:59.000 --> 0:03:01.320 I literally thought it. I'm so cute. Maybe I thought 0:03:01.320 --> 0:03:03.400 it was one of those fake backgrounds like on Zoom. 0:03:03.400 --> 0:03:04.720 I'm like, is that a fake background? 0:03:04.960 --> 0:03:07.520 Oh? Thanks, It's just a giant curtain that's covering up 0:03:07.760 --> 0:03:11.080 stacks and stacks of shelves with junk on them. But yeah, 0:03:10.560 --> 0:03:13.120 I'm just down here so much, and I just moved 0:03:13.120 --> 0:03:15.040 all the furniture around, and I'm trying to make a 0:03:15.160 --> 0:03:17.919 zennier and I'm thinking I want like a little rock 0:03:18.000 --> 0:03:20.960 garden or something. But I truly have ooh ooh, And 0:03:21.080 --> 0:03:23.240 I got a moon pod. Don't judge me. 0:03:23.320 --> 0:03:24.320 Have you seen a moon pod? 0:03:24.560 --> 0:03:27.000 You might have seen on Instagram as I did so. 0:03:27.280 --> 0:03:29.480 And I blame Stacy for this, Stacy who does my hair. 0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:32.280 It's all Stacy's fault. She because I was talking about 0:03:32.320 --> 0:03:34.560 I need a place to nap. So, as you guys know, 0:03:34.600 --> 0:03:37.120 I started, I redid my I didn't redo. I judged 0:03:37.200 --> 0:03:39.800 up the basement and I turned it into my home office, 0:03:39.840 --> 0:03:42.200 which I'm calling the zen den because I don't just 0:03:42.240 --> 0:03:44.520 want a desk. I wanted I put my peloton down here. 0:03:44.520 --> 0:03:46.760 I put a yoga mat. I wanted to have a space, 0:03:47.160 --> 0:03:49.440 a door to close for the first time and nearly 0:03:49.480 --> 0:03:53.120 a year in the pandemic, just to become like myself again, 0:03:53.160 --> 0:03:54.920 you know, just to like. This is where I come 0:03:54.960 --> 0:03:57.760 down to invest in Mandy. You know what does Mama 0:03:57.840 --> 0:04:01.000 Mandy need. She needs time to work feel good about that. 0:04:01.080 --> 0:04:03.480 She needs to sweat on the peloton, she needs to stretch. 0:04:03.520 --> 0:04:06.600 Whatever I need. So I realize I need a nap 0:04:06.600 --> 0:04:09.360 spot just to you know, in between meetings or whatever, 0:04:09.480 --> 0:04:11.920 just take a sweet little nap without having to go upstairs. 0:04:12.200 --> 0:04:14.360 Because when I go upstairs, the problem is that I 0:04:14.400 --> 0:04:18.040 can't avoid the baby. He's in the house, like he's everywhere, 0:04:18.080 --> 0:04:20.880 and he knows the sound of my footsteps on the 0:04:20.920 --> 0:04:23.680 basement staircase, so he comes running. This isn't a very 0:04:23.680 --> 0:04:26.400 big house and he's not at daycare yet, so yeah, 0:04:26.440 --> 0:04:28.440 so I decided I'm gonna like put. I was like, 0:04:28.480 --> 0:04:30.359 maybe I should get a little shadse lounge or just 0:04:30.440 --> 0:04:33.200 honestly an air mattress or something. And then Stacy was like, 0:04:33.360 --> 0:04:35.640 have you seen this moon pod? And all I can 0:04:35.680 --> 0:04:39.520 say is it is a grown up bean bag chair 0:04:39.960 --> 0:04:43.480 and it is growing the best thing it is. So 0:04:43.720 --> 0:04:45.640 it's so nice. I'm gonna take a picture. It looks 0:04:45.720 --> 0:04:48.480 kind of ridiculous, but it's so comfy. I took a 0:04:48.760 --> 0:04:51.680 I took a delicious nap yesterday in my moon pod. 0:04:52.080 --> 0:04:54.760 I got a weighted blanket and I am investing in 0:04:54.800 --> 0:04:56.080 my nap time. 0:04:56.240 --> 0:05:00.719 So this looks very, very comfy. I'm like, wo moon pod. 0:05:00.839 --> 0:05:03.520 Okay, there's like sciencey things about why it's so good, 0:05:03.520 --> 0:05:06.520 but it's really good. And when you when you do that, 0:05:06.640 --> 0:05:09.320 the combination with the moon pod where you're feeling weightless, 0:05:09.320 --> 0:05:11.520 and then you add the weighted blanket, which just is 0:05:11.600 --> 0:05:15.000 like someone just hugging you, but like who doesn't smell 0:05:15.040 --> 0:05:18.200 bad because they haven't showered lately, you know, or like 0:05:18.240 --> 0:05:20.719 their body heat is not like becoming too hot. It's 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:24.240 like a great experience with the weighted blanket. I recommend it. 0:05:25.160 --> 0:05:27.680 Yes, So I will say this. I had a really, really, 0:05:27.760 --> 0:05:29.240 really good and this is for because you know, when 0:05:29.279 --> 0:05:31.039 I've been having these good talks with doctor Green and 0:05:31.080 --> 0:05:32.640 she gathers me all the way together and then I 0:05:32.680 --> 0:05:34.760 pass it on to you so she can gather you 0:05:34.800 --> 0:05:36.160 together the juice, and I'm paying for it. We might 0:05:36.200 --> 0:05:40.320 as well all benefit. So so something that doctor Green 0:05:40.400 --> 0:05:44.360 shared with me, it was like so good. I was like, okay, 0:05:44.400 --> 0:05:46.080 So for those of you who are like me and 0:05:46.120 --> 0:05:48.000 Mandy who team too much, you know, we'd be doing 0:05:48.040 --> 0:05:52.440 a lot, and sometimes we do so much that we're like, okay, Sis, 0:05:52.480 --> 0:05:54.960 it's okay to rest, she said to me, because I 0:05:55.000 --> 0:05:57.520 told her, I'm like, okay. The book you know, it 0:05:57.520 --> 0:05:59.640 made near time bestsellers second week in rub but theah 0:05:59.640 --> 0:06:02.960 blah was naming all these things like okay, okay, she said, okay, 0:06:03.200 --> 0:06:06.680 that we can agree your magic wand is working. Say 0:06:06.720 --> 0:06:11.600 what noo? She said, your magic wand is working. You 0:06:11.640 --> 0:06:15.760 have manifested enough times to see that your magic wand 0:06:15.839 --> 0:06:19.120 is working. She just means that, like, and this is 0:06:19.160 --> 0:06:22.880 for you, who is listening, who does the most, who 0:06:23.000 --> 0:06:25.800 doesn't break, doesn't rest, I'm looking at the mayor, so 0:06:25.839 --> 0:06:27.520 I'm not judging you, but I'm talking to you. Sis, 0:06:27.600 --> 0:06:30.960 the one who's looking at the looking at like whatever 0:06:31.520 --> 0:06:33.840 contraption that you're listening to the podcast on, and you're 0:06:33.839 --> 0:06:36.680 looking like, oh, she trying to read me. I'm reading you. 0:06:36.680 --> 0:06:39.240 Your magic wand is working. You don't have to go 0:06:39.360 --> 0:06:42.000 so hard, you don't have to go so long, you 0:06:42.080 --> 0:06:43.880 don't have to do as much as you've been doing. 0:06:44.080 --> 0:06:46.920 You can actually put your magic wand down and enjoy 0:06:46.960 --> 0:06:48.600 a little life a little bit more and guess what, 0:06:48.640 --> 0:06:52.120 it likely will recharge and work even better. And she 0:06:52.320 --> 0:06:56.200 was like, you have manifested this life that you're living. 0:06:56.240 --> 0:07:00.120 Now say it out loud with me. The seeds I 0:07:00.160 --> 0:07:05.320 plant grow, the seeds I plant grow. So you want 0:07:05.320 --> 0:07:08.000 to be even more mindful of the seeds that you're planting. 0:07:08.360 --> 0:07:12.120 You want to garden intentionally. You know, you're not picking 0:07:12.200 --> 0:07:16.360 random fruit. You're picking the fruit from the seeds that 0:07:16.400 --> 0:07:20.000 you've planted. And so if you're wanting to pick different fruit, 0:07:20.560 --> 0:07:24.120 then you have to make space in your garden for 0:07:24.200 --> 0:07:28.160 something differently. And so I convince myself that, like more 0:07:28.200 --> 0:07:29.640 and more and more heart, you can do it. You 0:07:29.640 --> 0:07:32.160 can do. It's like nosis. You don't have to go 0:07:32.280 --> 0:07:36.880 so hard. You're planting the right seeds, you're picking that fruit. 0:07:37.040 --> 0:07:41.040 But if you're wanting rest and relaxation and more harmony, 0:07:41.320 --> 0:07:43.920 then you have to plant those seeds as well. Your 0:07:44.000 --> 0:07:46.760 magic wand is working. And I just felt red for filth, 0:07:46.960 --> 0:07:48.640 so I figured, you know, i'd read you for filth 0:07:48.640 --> 0:07:51.400 as well. So there you go. I'm cury, doctor Green. 0:07:52.360 --> 0:07:55.320 Thank you, doctor Green. I don't think that was red 0:07:55.320 --> 0:07:58.240 for filth. I just feel like that's it's how do 0:07:58.280 --> 0:08:03.480 you mean you must feel like it's permission. It's permission 0:08:03.600 --> 0:08:07.200 to it's permission to trust yourself, and it's like getting 0:08:07.240 --> 0:08:10.440 to a place where you trust it is. I love 0:08:10.520 --> 0:08:13.120 that garden metaphor because it's true. You know, you can 0:08:13.160 --> 0:08:15.720 only harvest so much, and you can only use the 0:08:15.760 --> 0:08:19.680 earth so so much before it doesn't yield anything. Yes, 0:08:20.320 --> 0:08:23.320 deplete it. It's like over. It's like over harvesting can 0:08:23.360 --> 0:08:26.080 actually diminish future crops. So you have to tend to it. 0:08:26.120 --> 0:08:28.520 And then you you harvest what you can, use it 0:08:28.520 --> 0:08:30.760 the best that you can, and you try and store 0:08:30.800 --> 0:08:32.520 them away for winter. Okay, I'm doing. 0:08:32.360 --> 0:08:34.160 This whole mend no, and you said and then you 0:08:34.240 --> 0:08:37.439 said the perfect words. She said, trust that I've been 0:08:37.520 --> 0:08:40.000 using my magic wand as if I don't trust that 0:08:40.080 --> 0:08:43.600 it works because I have overworked around it and it's 0:08:43.720 --> 0:08:45.840 like gnosis, you don't need to do all of that 0:08:45.840 --> 0:08:47.560 that it was a lack of trust, and she's like, 0:08:47.800 --> 0:08:50.360 can you trust yourself to me that you're going to 0:08:50.400 --> 0:08:52.720 be the bomb dot com without having to do so much? 0:08:53.679 --> 0:08:55.320 Like girl, you got it. You don't have to do 0:08:55.360 --> 0:08:59.160 all this to shine like you know. So it was 0:08:59.240 --> 0:09:01.160 just like, yeah, now when I say read for film, 0:09:01.160 --> 0:09:03.880 I didn't feel offended. It was perfect because to your 0:09:03.880 --> 0:09:05.760 point many I needed the permission to be like, it's 0:09:05.760 --> 0:09:07.600 okay to sit down. God, it's not gonna go away 0:09:08.360 --> 0:09:10.600 your trust, it's gonna be here. You put the work 0:09:10.600 --> 0:09:11.440 and it's gonna be here. 0:09:12.559 --> 0:09:16.400 Your Wanda's like, take a break, girl, why does like this? 0:09:16.920 --> 0:09:19.640 You exhausted me in my elderly age that those who 0:09:19.640 --> 0:09:21.319 don't know Wanda is my eighty year old self, That's 0:09:21.320 --> 0:09:24.600 what I call her. Wandas like, grow, I'm tired. Look 0:09:24.640 --> 0:09:27.280 at you. You are wearing that body out since we 0:09:27.360 --> 0:09:31.440 need it for now, so so just go ahead. 0:09:31.640 --> 0:09:33.760 Can we actually listen to a voicemail that we got 0:09:33.760 --> 0:09:35.400 from a listener. I know we were gonna do it 0:09:35.480 --> 0:09:37.560 during questions, but I kind of feel like this is 0:09:37.559 --> 0:09:39.600 the perfect time to play that voicemail. Sarah, do you 0:09:39.600 --> 0:09:40.439 have that cueued up? 0:09:40.960 --> 0:09:44.439 I am Denay from Manhattan, and I'm listening to your 0:09:44.480 --> 0:09:47.440 show on April sixteenth, and I just want to let 0:09:47.480 --> 0:09:49.920 you know. I want to thank you for letting me 0:09:50.000 --> 0:09:52.920 know that I shouldn't feel guilty for not being career 0:09:53.320 --> 0:09:56.520 ambitious in my career will because I'm working from home, 0:09:56.600 --> 0:10:01.040 raising children and dealing with Corona, just mentally wiped out, 0:10:01.080 --> 0:10:03.640 and I just don't have the goal or the ambition 0:10:03.720 --> 0:10:06.280 anymore that be the best employee, So thank you. 0:10:07.840 --> 0:10:09.480 I can hear him in his voice. I think he 0:10:09.520 --> 0:10:13.240 said vane or renee, but I can hear the exhaustion 0:10:13.720 --> 0:10:16.680 and if that's what you needed to give yourself permission 0:10:16.800 --> 0:10:20.640 to rest and recharge, take it, Yes, take it. You 0:10:20.679 --> 0:10:22.440 don't have to keep go, go going. Isn't that the 0:10:22.440 --> 0:10:25.880 perfect kind of to supplement and compliment what you had said, Tiffany. 0:10:25.920 --> 0:10:28.200 It sort of like he just sounds run down and 0:10:28.280 --> 0:10:30.560 like he needs time to recharge, and he's acknowledging that. 0:10:31.000 --> 0:10:35.480 Yeah, No, honestly, I'm glad that you got that permission. 0:10:35.520 --> 0:10:37.640 It's hard sometimes you need to hear people say it 0:10:38.240 --> 0:10:42.600 because you're like, I'm not giving my quote unquote best anyway, 0:10:42.640 --> 0:10:44.800 but it is, this is what you have to give, 0:10:44.880 --> 0:10:47.319 so that is your best. And so yeah, sometimes you 0:10:47.440 --> 0:10:50.199 just need permission to not work so much. And sometimes 0:10:50.240 --> 0:10:53.320 we need permission to be okay, not you know, to 0:10:53.360 --> 0:10:56.240 be exactly where we are. And so yes, I'm glad 0:10:56.240 --> 0:10:57.160 that that you're enough. 0:10:57.600 --> 0:11:00.640 Yes, that the work you did today was enough. I 0:11:00.679 --> 0:11:03.840 think if we can talk about my therapist, doctor Lauren. So, 0:11:04.080 --> 0:11:05.960 one of the things early in the pandemic that I 0:11:06.000 --> 0:11:09.240 had to learn was to I was constantly even when 0:11:09.240 --> 0:11:11.720 I was on maternity leave, it was I don't feel productive. 0:11:11.880 --> 0:11:15.400 All I did was, you know, breastfeed one hundred times 0:11:15.400 --> 0:11:17.679 a day and you know, bounce on the yoga ball 0:11:17.720 --> 0:11:19.720 until the baby fell asleep, and I had a cup 0:11:19.720 --> 0:11:22.360 of coffee and that's like that was my entire day. 0:11:22.920 --> 0:11:26.240 And she said that is enough. She said, that is enough. 0:11:26.320 --> 0:11:28.559 You were productive. That was the job that you had 0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:31.360 to do, and we need to like we need to 0:11:31.440 --> 0:11:35.120 celebrate the quiet work. This I don't know. I don't 0:11:35.120 --> 0:11:36.640 want to call it small, but you know what I mean, 0:11:36.720 --> 0:11:39.400 like the little tasks, the little jobs that we do, 0:11:39.440 --> 0:11:44.240 because some days, especially during the last week that we 0:11:44.400 --> 0:11:46.840 just had, some days it is all you can do 0:11:46.960 --> 0:11:49.280 to put one foot in front of another, sit in 0:11:49.280 --> 0:11:51.440 front of the desk, answer the day of emails, talk 0:11:51.480 --> 0:11:53.720 to the boss, you know that kind of stuff. You know, 0:11:53.840 --> 0:11:56.120 do the work, or you know, just sit down and 0:11:56.520 --> 0:12:00.000 be there present for your children. It's that is enough. 0:12:00.400 --> 0:12:04.440 And certainly don't kill yourself trying to do what you 0:12:04.480 --> 0:12:06.760 think you should be doing on top of that, because 0:12:06.800 --> 0:12:09.760 some days you just need to be at peace with 0:12:09.920 --> 0:12:13.320 what you have done and tell yourself that you're enough. 0:12:13.640 --> 0:12:16.439 And if what was that mantra? Something about a seed. 0:12:16.800 --> 0:12:21.600 That the seeds I plant grow and I'm going to 0:12:21.600 --> 0:12:24.839 be mindful of the seeds that I plant and garden intentionally. 0:12:25.160 --> 0:12:28.520 The seeds that I plant grow, so I will garden intentionally. 0:12:29.520 --> 0:12:30.000 I love that. 0:12:30.400 --> 0:12:30.840 M m. 0:12:32.360 --> 0:12:33.600 I feel like we need to like home. 0:12:33.920 --> 0:12:37.560 I know, I just feel like, you know, what I 0:12:37.600 --> 0:12:40.520 really love is that, like, you know, one of the 0:12:40.559 --> 0:12:42.199 things that Mandy and I really try to do. We're 0:12:42.240 --> 0:12:44.280 not here to show up perfectly, but We're here to 0:12:44.320 --> 0:12:47.200 show up fully, you know, like to admit we're like 0:12:47.240 --> 0:12:49.960 I'm overwhelmed, I'm not working. It's not good because I 0:12:49.960 --> 0:12:52.160 don't want to pretend like everything is okay, because I 0:12:52.160 --> 0:12:54.960 think that's not just detrimental to y'all who are listening, 0:12:55.000 --> 0:12:58.000 but detrimental to me and to Mandy if you don't 0:12:58.000 --> 0:13:00.480 show up fully and truly, because I want to see, 0:13:00.640 --> 0:13:03.200 Like I don't care how great it looks from the outside. 0:13:03.240 --> 0:13:06.160 Sometimes it's a hot mess, and people struggle no matter 0:13:06.200 --> 0:13:09.319 what stage or what phase they're on life. And sometimes 0:13:09.720 --> 0:13:13.600 you're actually your most calm and zen when you are 0:13:13.640 --> 0:13:17.679 your least outwardly successful, you know, and so all of 0:13:17.720 --> 0:13:20.560 that you get to see, like what it all looks like, 0:13:20.559 --> 0:13:23.040 like the truth of all that it looks like with 0:13:23.160 --> 0:13:25.120 where we are and not just you get to see 0:13:25.120 --> 0:13:27.360 like our growth. I feel like, I'm sure if you 0:13:27.400 --> 0:13:30.360 were to listen to me from like a year ago, 0:13:30.800 --> 0:13:34.920 I sound way more stressed or way less connected. But 0:13:35.000 --> 0:13:37.959 I'm feeling so much better. And even though like the 0:13:38.480 --> 0:13:41.839 launch took a lot out of me, Like I'm reassessing, 0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:43.640 like you know what next steps look like, and I 0:13:43.720 --> 0:13:46.640 feel more in control that I don't have to do 0:13:46.679 --> 0:13:49.880 all the things, And like I'm actually seeing things differently, like, oh, 0:13:49.920 --> 0:13:52.520 I can do those five projects without doing those five projects. 0:13:52.840 --> 0:13:54.400 Let me call Taylor, let me call this person, let 0:13:54.400 --> 0:13:56.800 me call that pert. They can do those projects for 0:13:56.920 --> 0:13:59.520 me under the Budgetista. So I'm even learning how to 0:13:59.600 --> 0:14:02.760 navigate differently. I used to think, Mandy that whatever I 0:14:02.800 --> 0:14:04.880 had new projects, I used to be like, oh gosh, 0:14:05.000 --> 0:14:06.680 because in my mind I was thinking about all the 0:14:06.679 --> 0:14:09.880 work I had to do, and It's like why why 0:14:09.920 --> 0:14:12.520 can't Like Taylor writes great courses, Like I want to 0:14:12.520 --> 0:14:14.680 do a course for get Good with Money, And I'm like, 0:14:14.679 --> 0:14:16.400 why do I have to write that course? The book 0:14:16.440 --> 0:14:18.240 is written. You did that? Give Taylor the book and 0:14:18.240 --> 0:14:20.040 say make a course based upon this. Taylor is one 0:14:20.040 --> 0:14:24.240 of my course writers. And I was just like, oh, yeah, duh, 0:14:24.440 --> 0:14:28.000 you know, like every relegate, yes, And so I just 0:14:28.040 --> 0:14:30.080 feel like, hopefully that you get to hear it's the 0:14:30.160 --> 0:14:33.000 ups and downs, the side to side and see that 0:14:33.120 --> 0:14:36.920 growth is a journey that you never never finished with. 0:14:38.280 --> 0:14:40.280 And yeah, and that to give yourself the space and 0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:40.680 the grace. 0:14:41.360 --> 0:14:43.280 Space and the grace. I love that. Can I make 0:14:43.320 --> 0:14:48.320 a quick confession speaking of showing up fully. I actually 0:14:48.360 --> 0:14:52.120 gave a presentation a week or two ago and it 0:14:52.160 --> 0:14:55.040 was like five steps to use technology to save smarter 0:14:55.240 --> 0:14:58.640 and at the you know, this wasn't necessarily a technology hack, 0:14:58.720 --> 0:15:01.200 but for me, the most an important step in there 0:15:01.400 --> 0:15:06.600 was to recalibrate. So once you celebrate your winds, recalibrate 0:15:06.680 --> 0:15:09.680 And by that I meant, you know, not treating whatever 0:15:09.720 --> 0:15:12.280 it is your budget or your financial plan as one 0:15:12.360 --> 0:15:15.800 and done like a rigid set of guidelines that you're 0:15:15.800 --> 0:15:18.720 just going to beat yourself up against forever. Because as 0:15:18.720 --> 0:15:21.960 we've learned the past year, like income can change, you know, 0:15:22.080 --> 0:15:25.480 your health can change. Your circumstances where you live can 0:15:25.560 --> 0:15:28.960 change so quickly, and I think that people should give 0:15:29.000 --> 0:15:31.800 themselves grace when it comes to their financial plan as well, 0:15:31.840 --> 0:15:34.080 and to bake that into your process. And it was 0:15:34.120 --> 0:15:36.800 something that as I was writing it for that talk, 0:15:36.840 --> 0:15:39.360 I realized I had not done that, Like I had 0:15:39.400 --> 0:15:43.440 not looked at so my income. My income did increase 0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:46.880 significantly this past year just because of some career choices 0:15:46.920 --> 0:15:52.480 I made, and I hadn't really reassessed how I was 0:15:52.960 --> 0:15:56.000 saving and spending, and I started to get really stressed 0:15:56.000 --> 0:15:57.840 out about it like there was a Friday not long 0:15:57.840 --> 0:16:01.200 ago where I was like, wait a second, where is 0:16:01.360 --> 0:16:03.760 where's it all going? You know, are we what are 0:16:03.760 --> 0:16:06.040 we doing with it? Are we investing? Like where's it? 0:16:06.080 --> 0:16:09.160 And I had just lost track. I had. I finally 0:16:09.200 --> 0:16:11.080 sat down, you know, after I wrote that line in 0:16:11.080 --> 0:16:12.920 my presentation, because I didn't want to be a hypocrite, 0:16:12.920 --> 0:16:14.640 and I was like, Okay, I'm going to recalibrate, like 0:16:14.720 --> 0:16:17.240 what is happening? You know, our income has increased, so 0:16:17.280 --> 0:16:20.040 what are we doing? And for me, it was it 0:16:20.080 --> 0:16:23.880 was sitting down and just methodically going through the different 0:16:24.000 --> 0:16:27.440 accounts and seeing like what is going out, what is 0:16:27.480 --> 0:16:31.040 coming in? And it was so it was so for me, 0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:34.400 it almost like gave myself permission to acknowledge that I 0:16:34.440 --> 0:16:37.840 had kind of lost track of my financial I don't 0:16:37.880 --> 0:16:40.000 know what you want to call it, like framework or 0:16:40.040 --> 0:16:42.240 plan and just to kind of get a gut check 0:16:42.280 --> 0:16:44.320 like where am I at? And it turned out I 0:16:44.360 --> 0:16:47.360 had all these automatic transfers, I was contributing twice to 0:16:47.440 --> 0:16:50.720 this brokerage account, and I had, you know, doubled up 0:16:50.760 --> 0:16:55.080 on some kind of contribution to a savings fund for 0:16:55.240 --> 0:16:57.800 my son. And it was good, but it was also 0:16:57.880 --> 0:17:00.160 kind of sloppy and messy, and so I got everything 0:17:00.160 --> 0:17:03.880 cleaned up. I made new more ambitious goals as far 0:17:03.920 --> 0:17:06.720 as saving and investing. And I just wanted to say 0:17:06.760 --> 0:17:10.520 that because even myself, you know, having done this for 0:17:10.560 --> 0:17:15.320 so long, even I sometimes forget to recalibrate and look 0:17:15.359 --> 0:17:18.400 at how my situation has changed and sit down and 0:17:18.440 --> 0:17:22.200 just go back to that. That'll be word the budget. 0:17:23.280 --> 0:17:25.960 And I just wanted to remind y'all it's been a 0:17:26.000 --> 0:17:27.560 really hell of it's been a hell of a year. 0:17:27.640 --> 0:17:30.600 And if you guys need that, like, sit down, look 0:17:30.640 --> 0:17:32.880 at how the financials are doing, and see if your 0:17:32.920 --> 0:17:35.199 goals that you made, you know when you started your 0:17:35.240 --> 0:17:37.879 budget still align with where you are today, and if not, 0:17:38.040 --> 0:17:41.640 then just just change them. Like you can change them. 0:17:41.680 --> 0:17:44.280 You're the boss. You can change them. And there's nothing 0:17:44.280 --> 0:17:51.960 wrong with that. Yeah, that was really inspiring, Tiffany. 0:17:51.680 --> 0:17:54.680 No just listening. I'm just like you reflecting. I'm just like, yeah, 0:17:55.280 --> 0:17:56.880 it's like one of those like USA. 0:17:56.880 --> 0:17:57.040 Like. 0:17:58.680 --> 0:18:01.080 It just feels good to let go. And if twenty 0:18:01.160 --> 0:18:03.680 twenty twenty one has taught me nothing else that help 0:18:03.880 --> 0:18:06.479 asking for help, asking for help, asking for help, like 0:18:07.160 --> 0:18:08.960 do not go it alone. What might have taken me 0:18:09.000 --> 0:18:11.119 three years to figure out will take me three months 0:18:11.119 --> 0:18:13.720 with help. That is critically and help meaning like it 0:18:13.800 --> 0:18:16.800 might be therapy, it might be coaching, and might be 0:18:16.840 --> 0:18:18.760 reaching out to your team, and might be asking your sister. 0:18:18.800 --> 0:18:21.879 The baby said, like, do not go this life alone. 0:18:22.520 --> 0:18:25.040 If you have the ability, please ask for help. 0:18:26.720 --> 0:18:30.640 Eight man sister friend speaking of asking for help. Should 0:18:30.680 --> 0:18:33.720 we take a quick break and like transition, I'm really 0:18:33.720 --> 0:18:36.280 good on my segways today. All right, we're gonna take 0:18:36.320 --> 0:18:38.240 a quick break and we'll be right back to answer 0:18:38.280 --> 0:19:13.160 your questions. All right, we are back to answer your 0:19:13.240 --> 0:19:16.239 questions again. Y'all can leave us a voicemail, like our 0:19:16.320 --> 0:19:19.560 listener Renee did earlier. Hit us up eight four four 0:19:19.800 --> 0:19:23.520 eight five eight eight zero eight zero, leave us a voicemail, 0:19:23.560 --> 0:19:26.720 try and keep it brief. If you feel a little wordy, 0:19:26.760 --> 0:19:28.880 you might still want to reach out to us via email, 0:19:28.960 --> 0:19:31.920 or you can always DM us at Brand Ambition Podcast 0:19:32.280 --> 0:19:35.760 on Insta or at or sorry. Our email is Brand 0:19:35.800 --> 0:19:38.399 Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com. If you're feeling a 0:19:38.400 --> 0:19:40.640 little wordy, but we'd love to hear from you, It's 0:19:40.680 --> 0:19:43.680 nice to hear y'all's voices eight four four eight five 0:19:43.760 --> 0:19:47.159 eight eight zero eight zero. All right, let's dig in. 0:19:47.240 --> 0:19:49.080 Let's dig into that voicemail Sarah, what do we have? 0:19:50.240 --> 0:19:52.920 Hi, ladies, I have a quick question about in Tooy 0:19:53.080 --> 0:19:56.800 stock purchase plans. So my company allows us to buy 0:19:56.840 --> 0:20:00.639 stock at a fifteen percent discount through payroll deduction. I'm 0:20:00.680 --> 0:20:04.280 seeing conflicting information online. Do you feel like the best 0:20:04.960 --> 0:20:08.280 way to capitalize is by immediately selling the stock to 0:20:08.840 --> 0:20:11.919 get that fifteen percent discount or holding on to it 0:20:11.960 --> 0:20:14.720 for the long term to get the tax advantage. Thanks 0:20:14.760 --> 0:20:15.840 so much, bye, bye. 0:20:16.560 --> 0:20:20.240 Awesome, Well, thank you so much for your question. Employee 0:20:20.240 --> 0:20:24.000 stock purchase plan. So this is actually a great benefit 0:20:24.080 --> 0:20:26.960 that some companies offer, and basically it's and if you 0:20:27.000 --> 0:20:29.879