Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer poy Zer here, Nicky, Hello here, I
Speaker 1: am welcome to the Nicki Glazer Podcast. I'm Nicki Glazer.
Speaker 1: It is Tuesday. I'm in New York City, in my
Speaker 1: hotel in Chelsea. Andrew is in St. Louis at our studio.
Speaker 1: Noah is in Arizona. Guys, how are you doing today?
Speaker 1: I'm so so shocked that we're doing shows day of
Speaker 1: because usually on weeks like this we bank a bunch.
Speaker 1: But it's nice to be doing them currently. I'm good,
Speaker 1: I'm good. I I have COVID cod it's it's it's
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't want to complain about it
Speaker 1: because it's not that bad, but it's also just bad
Speaker 1: enough where it's annoying, and I think people describe to
Speaker 1: it feels like it feels like, you know, how, I'm dumb.
Speaker 1: Imagine Okay, okay, you know how is it molasses? Is
Speaker 1: your brain just like you're not being able to think quickly? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I feel like I have a bunch of mayonnaise in
Speaker 1: my brain. And that's sometimes where when you're funniest dude,
Speaker 1: like when you're tired and like you can't think, Yeah, unmotivated, right,
Speaker 1: like you feel like unmotivated to even probably I just
Speaker 1: don't feel happy. To be honest, you might be depressed.
Speaker 1: Yeah I'm depressed, but I think I see a light
Speaker 1: at the end of the tunnel. I see, you know,
Speaker 1: or maybe not, maybe I'll just die and it's fine. No,
Speaker 1: I mean, I find though when I get depressed, like
Speaker 1: I really, I'm sorry you're going through that, because I
Speaker 1: when I get depressed, I know there's it's nice to
Speaker 1: know that there is a light, like it never like
Speaker 1: stays because right now I'm not depressed. So obviously every
Speaker 1: time I've ever been depressed, it's lifted to this point
Speaker 1: where I'm not depressed now, and I know it will
Speaker 1: always lift, but it's really hard to feel like it
Speaker 1: will and it's um you just see every it's just
Speaker 1: how does it manifest? I'm and you maybe don't want
Speaker 1: to talk about it, and maybe did manifest for you
Speaker 1: in the way that you just don't want to dwell
Speaker 1: on it, But like, what does depression feel like to you?
Speaker 1: Just like I mean, I like talking about depression. I
Speaker 1: think it helps people, but I also don't like talking
Speaker 1: about depression when other people aren't depressed, because I feel
Speaker 1: like like I'm being a burden sometimes, you know, especially
Speaker 1: on a podcast that to be funny and silly, but
Speaker 1: it's the best. I'm the only time I like when
Speaker 1: I'm depressed, Like I just feel like it's when you
Speaker 1: just try to like phone it in and you don't
Speaker 1: talk about it is when it gets worse. So I'm
Speaker 1: not trying to make you talk about it, but like
Speaker 1: I think that you're you're probably able to talk about
Speaker 1: it in a way that when I'm depressed, I talk
Speaker 1: about my depression in a way that's specific, and yours
Speaker 1: might be different. It might represent someone at home listening.
Speaker 1: So what's it like for you? I think I think
Speaker 1: what happens is I think COVID or whatever. Uh, you know, people,
Speaker 1: I think I have heard so much, especially if you're younger.
Speaker 1: Granted I'm not that young, but like you have my
Speaker 1: old symptoms, you'll be fine. Just forget about it. It's fine,
Speaker 1: you know. But I think the I dea of like
Speaker 1: complaining when you when it's the symptoms aren't like that bad,
Speaker 1: but they're also like annoying enough where you can't be
Speaker 1: present with the person you want to be present with. Brenna,
Speaker 1: like I can't be like as happy and touchy feely
Speaker 1: and like accept love and give love as much as
Speaker 1: I would like to, and we're I'm in the her. Huh.
Speaker 1: It's definitely COVID, yeah, because I mean I think it's
Speaker 1: a combination of just being exhausted from the weekend, but like, yeah,
Speaker 1: also adds something that we talked about before the show.
Speaker 1: Andrew was on a role with working out and you know,
Speaker 1: like improving his golf game and stuff, and you know
Speaker 1: that that gave him a lot of like positive energy,
Speaker 1: and um, I think because he hasn't been able to
Speaker 1: do that, that probably contributes to why he's feeling kind
Speaker 1: of sluggish and unmotivated and depressed. Yes, yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: that's definitely it too. I mean I think I was,
Speaker 1: like I was really feeling really positive and happy these
Speaker 1: last two months and like and it sucks like a
Speaker 1: disease or whatever whatever the fun you want to call it.
Speaker 1: Like we're all so sensitive, Like we all think we're
Speaker 1: so tough and that we could get through ship, but
Speaker 1: we're all like one minute away from like catching something
Speaker 1: that will totally derail everything. Yeah, and whatever, Look, I'll
Speaker 1: jump back, I'll be fine that Yeah. Well, it's funny
Speaker 1: because you're talking about COVID symptoms, like the ones that
Speaker 1: people are like, oh, it's you're that's not a big deal.
Speaker 1: It's it's it's not let's say covid out of it.
Speaker 1: It's just like mental illness. People are just like, it's
Speaker 1: it's not physical. So people just don't have as much
Speaker 1: empathy or sympathy for you, and like just don't any
Speaker 1: kind of mental um disease illness, like just a little
Speaker 1: like the thing you're going through DIP. People just don't
Speaker 1: give you as much leeway as if you were like
Speaker 1: literally had the flu. But that's when I have the depression.
Speaker 1: It's like I have the flu. I'm just as my
Speaker 1: out of commission, and you shouldn't be around me because
Speaker 1: I'll drag you down, I'll get you sick, I'll try
Speaker 1: to get my my disease will try to latch onto
Speaker 1: you to get more. It's almost like it looks to spread,
Speaker 1: so it spreads by me not coughing, but me like
Speaker 1: spewing negativity so that people around me gets depressed too.
Speaker 1: It's it sucks and like I mean whatever, like you're
Speaker 1: doing the Today Show today, like and I mean this
Speaker 1: is all like optics and stuff, but like it's still
Speaker 1: like you need to be on you need to have
Speaker 1: a good time, like like like it is important for
Speaker 1: you to to smile. So it's like the last thing
Speaker 1: I want to do is bring my fucking whatever. But
Speaker 1: I know that, like you like the honesty and whatever,
Speaker 1: but it's just you know, so I feel pressure on
Speaker 1: that point to be like I don't want to fucking
Speaker 1: she has to deal with all the other ships. No,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I don't think of it that way,
Speaker 1: if anything, Like I've always found that whenever I'm struggling
Speaker 1: with just feeling too busy and just doing so many
Speaker 1: things that I'm like, oh my god, I'm worried about
Speaker 1: this performance in this Like the best thing I can
Speaker 1: do is like go who needs my help? Like can
Speaker 1: I just talk about anyone but myself? Like I just
Speaker 1: need to go pick up some trash or something like
Speaker 1: I need to do something that isn't about me. So
Speaker 1: I I seek out these opportunities when I'm feeling like
Speaker 1: I've got too much going on and it's just it's
Speaker 1: just busy. It's nothing that I'm like, I need to
Speaker 1: be happy for it, and I need to be in
Speaker 1: a good mood, like I just that's never. Um yeah,
Speaker 1: that's never. And I feel like, you know, someone was
Speaker 1: talking about like when you go on stage, like your
Speaker 1: feet hurting, Like my feet never hurt in my boots
Speaker 1: on stage. Like when you're on stage, you just like
Speaker 1: all of the things pain that you're going through, physical
Speaker 1: and mental like kind of goes away, even like as
Speaker 1: soon as you grab the microphone and then I'm not
Speaker 1: speaking for everyone, but I just know a lot of
Speaker 1: comedians who feel the same way. Like I'll be depressed
Speaker 1: up until I grab the mic and then it goes away,
Speaker 1: and then as soon as I walk off stage it
Speaker 1: comes back. So it's like, I don't know. I feel
Speaker 1: like if you had to do the Today Show today
Speaker 1: and do all these podcasts, you would be out of
Speaker 1: your depression because it was like your adrenaline would like
Speaker 1: kick in and it'd be waiting for you on the
Speaker 1: other side. Um, if it wanted to be. But um yeah,
Speaker 1: that's never gonna I really I love um talking to
Speaker 1: people about the depression, I think because I think for me,
Speaker 1: it's the only way to like get out of it,
Speaker 1: I think is to give it a name and to
Speaker 1: actually honor that it's real and that it's not like
Speaker 1: just I'm being a baby and I'm I'm a sad baby.
Speaker 1: It's just like it's an honest to God like physical people.
Speaker 1: Just because it doesn't have symptoms like sneezing and like stuff.
Speaker 1: The goes like depression needs like a it needs a
Speaker 1: better pr agent. It needs to get some kind of
Speaker 1: physical symptoms for people. Yes, yeah, your balls should jingle
Speaker 1: when you have it, something pasical that you can go. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know. When I get depressed, my penis gets smaller,
Speaker 1: my balls get longer, so that doesn't help. I don't know.
Speaker 1: My my pussy totally gets like kind of sloppy. It
Speaker 1: starts to growing, like the hair starts kind of like
Speaker 1: I I don't shave it as much. I'm not cleaning
Speaker 1: myself as I'm not like paying attention to the toilet
Speaker 1: paper like pieces of my vagina, like you just look grosser.
Speaker 1: I'm just like not treating myself. Well. I saw my
Speaker 1: balls in a different light the other day and I
Speaker 1: was like, is this depression because my balls look like
Speaker 1: really old and weird like and I'm like maybe I'm saying,
Speaker 1: what what about them made them look older. Maybe specific
Speaker 1: they were hanging lower, maybe they were hanging a little
Speaker 1: differently they were. I have a hernia by my penis,
Speaker 1: so that her hernia. It's my heart. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: even know what hernia is. I just know it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: you can't press on it or it'll be like an
Speaker 1: old man will be like, oh, looks like I have
Speaker 1: a bunch of war thirds above my dick. Physical it's
Speaker 1: inside right though apparently it's like, yeah, it's under your again,
Speaker 1: if it doesn't hurt, you don't need surgery, but if
Speaker 1: it does start to hurt, you do need It looks
Speaker 1: like a bump above so it looks like I have
Speaker 1: a footpa like a fat upper penis penis, but it's
Speaker 1: just penis instead of pussy anyhow. But yeah, so I
Speaker 1: think you totally get to like such like my labia
Speaker 1: get like like balls, which labia are the balls of
Speaker 1: the female anatomy because they are they literally are what
Speaker 1: would have hold held your balls if you would have
Speaker 1: been a man at you know, um, your chromosomes would
Speaker 1: have been an x y. I think that's it. Um.
Speaker 1: They it gets like baggy, ar and sadder, like when
Speaker 1: I'm depressed, my vagina definitely looks depressed. It looks like
Speaker 1: it could use a shower. It um needs a good
Speaker 1: walk around the block, needs some sunlight. Yeah, so I
Speaker 1: get that your whole body does you just feel like
Speaker 1: saggy and sad? I feel disgusting right now, I feel
Speaker 1: But is it nice though, to live with Brenna? Know
Speaker 1: that she's like cleaning the sheets? Maybe help you can
Speaker 1: help you with laundry, like keep your area clean so
Speaker 1: that it doesn't spread around you and kind of like
Speaker 1: your environment becomes like depression because I feel like when
Speaker 1: I live alone, depression, like I can't keep a clean space,
Speaker 1: and it would help me if my space were clean
Speaker 1: or clean space does help for sure. I do think
Speaker 1: when you have a partner, there's times when the depression.
Speaker 1: I think everybody wants maybe twenty four hours to themselves
Speaker 1: completely isolation, let me sleep, let me not even move,
Speaker 1: don't know judgment, even though I'm not getting judgment from her.
Speaker 1: I just like you just don't even want to think
Speaker 1: about the You just want that fucking cave, that alone cave.
Speaker 1: You want to be a bear by yourself. And then
Speaker 1: I don't know, No, I'm sure it's not sure I
Speaker 1: think we want it so badly, but it's like it's
Speaker 1: like drinking, It's like hair of the dog, like it'll
Speaker 1: it's just giving you what you already you're having a
Speaker 1: with we're all symptom from, Like depression is antisocial and
Speaker 1: then you're giving it what it wants to feed it
Speaker 1: more a little bit. And but it's so hard not
Speaker 1: to do that. It's so hard to like let people
Speaker 1: in and be social and continue to talk to the
Speaker 1: people around you, and um, man, I just do you
Speaker 1: you you don't get suicidal thoughts though right, I feel
Speaker 1: like I've had them before, but nothing like what's your
Speaker 1: thought process? I'm just wondering what that? What like the
Speaker 1: thoughts you're telling yourself like the um when I've had
Speaker 1: suicidal thoughts in the past are more like if I'm
Speaker 1: on a balcony, it would be like a split thought
Speaker 1: like oh what if I just fell off? Kind of
Speaker 1: not like I want to know what are your depression thoughts?
Speaker 1: Like what are you? What you're like? Inner monologue Mogue
Speaker 1: is like there could be stuff like, you know, I'm
Speaker 1: not living up to my potential stuff like that I'm
Speaker 1: not really like take in control of my life. I'm
Speaker 1: not uh beating yourself up about I'm not not exercising
Speaker 1: now because like i'm you know, and I'm and I
Speaker 1: was sick like like all these things. But then you know,
Speaker 1: like like anything, it's just, um, I think I've been
Speaker 1: through it enough where I understand that what's going on
Speaker 1: the cycle. Like that's the beauty of getting The only
Speaker 1: great thing about getting older is you've been through it
Speaker 1: so many times you know what it is. Even if
Speaker 1: you're even if your brain can't comprehend exactly what's going on,
Speaker 1: you've been there. Your brain has even been where it
Speaker 1: doesn't even know where it is right now, like like
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So it's like I am
Speaker 1: not worried that I'm not going to get out of it.
Speaker 1: It's just in this that minute you just have you
Speaker 1: just have a cold of the brain, like you can
Speaker 1: treat it like it's gonna go away. It's gonna lift
Speaker 1: at some point. I just got to get through it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the But that's the part about depression that like
Speaker 1: freaks you out as you go. It's never gonna go away.
Speaker 1: For some reason, it just feels like you can't imagine
Speaker 1: it going away, and that's the way it feels when
Speaker 1: you get physically sick sometimes, even if you know it's
Speaker 1: a temporary sickness. But I think that I more often
Speaker 1: than not, when I'm depressed, I think it's gonna last forever.
Speaker 1: When I'm in a good space, I go, this isn't
Speaker 1: gonna last, and I think, but I think that's a
Speaker 1: good way to mitigate depression is to not convince yourself
Speaker 1: that it's gonna stay good forever, because it just the
Speaker 1: guilt you have when you do have to stop when
Speaker 1: you do get sick, like you can't keep working out
Speaker 1: every day, you can't keep eating right some days you're
Speaker 1: just gonna slip, and being able to let those happen
Speaker 1: and know they're gonna come, and that it doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that you'll never get back. Like it's that even when
Speaker 1: it's good, it's not gonna stay good forever, because that
Speaker 1: just doesn't. Sam Harris always says, do you expect if
Speaker 1: you played a video game and there was never any like,
Speaker 1: you know, pits to jump over or like little angry
Speaker 1: mushrooms to jump over, like there was no challenge like
Speaker 1: this would be? Do you just ut your life to
Speaker 1: do that? Like you could put your life to have
Speaker 1: no problems throughout your life, like of course it's going
Speaker 1: to keep giving you this ship. And so was your
Speaker 1: favorite video game growing up? Super Mario Brothers too, That's
Speaker 1: what I was thinking about that. I was just thinking.
Speaker 1: I was like little Yeah, I love that. I loved
Speaker 1: all the little world you could go to. I loved Yoshi.
Speaker 1: Ye your favorite, the little green guy. Yeah, he was
Speaker 1: the one who's doing the one I picked with Super
Speaker 1: Mario Brothers. Like, why did you like him racing? Because
Speaker 1: he was the fastest there and Yoshi was just like
Speaker 1: he go, it was like that tongue would come out.
Speaker 1: Um wait yeah, well yeah, this tongue would come Supernintendo.
Speaker 1: That's the Supernintendo one where you could ride him. That's
Speaker 1: where that's Supernintendo to like the second thing of Supernintendo
Speaker 1: where you would go and you could Yeah you could
Speaker 1: do that. But I also just like that sound you
Speaker 1: make when you jump on him. He's it's great. Um
Speaker 1: what about your favorite video game? I mean, growing up Sonic.
Speaker 1: I was a Sonic guy. You know, I didn't want
Speaker 1: to think. I don't like thinking in these games. A
Speaker 1: lot of Sonic made me think too much. I feel
Speaker 1: like controller. You start with Super, you start with Nintendo,
Speaker 1: and then you go to Sega and it's like a
Speaker 1: whole new operating system. You gotta learn, like a commercial
Speaker 1: Sega Sea Sea. What do you say? No, Sega? Wait
Speaker 1: what you say? Sega? Sega? Oh my god, it's Vegas.
Speaker 1: I say Vegas, Vegas, Vegas. Were you were you kids
Speaker 1: or were you a Nintendo head? Loyal because there are
Speaker 1: people that you know, like we just didn't get Sega,
Speaker 1: and so I didn't get to really know it. But
Speaker 1: I wasn't shitty to them. I just like, you know,
Speaker 1: PlayStation came along, then we upgraded to that, and then
Speaker 1: I and then I dipped out a Nintendo Nintendo sixty four.
Speaker 1: Never learned, never knew how to do it, just like
Speaker 1: didn't want to learn. I couldn't do it. Um and
Speaker 1: then I tapped and then a second or I guess
Speaker 1: PlayStation was the last time we realize how big video
Speaker 1: games are now, Like, oh my god, they're insane. It's
Speaker 1: it's everything. It's honestly, I feel so stupid to not
Speaker 1: be involved in it because it's year olds making like
Speaker 1: thirty million a year, just like killing Zombie Social they
Speaker 1: all talked to each other and they hang out and
Speaker 1: play like that was obviously we hung out with our
Speaker 1: friends to play when back then, but like it's it's, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a whole world that I'm so I'll never catch
Speaker 1: up and I just don't know how to. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm sure if I became like bedridden or something, I
Speaker 1: would pick up. I would pick up video games because
Speaker 1: it would be funny if we got a full on
Speaker 1: gaming system. Men, me and you got really into it,
Speaker 1: like just trying. Why don't we try to get into
Speaker 1: like Halo? Me and you just see what happened. I mean,
Speaker 1: he was playing a game that I make fun of
Speaker 1: all the time called like dragon Quest or something like that,
Speaker 1: and he was obsessed with it, and he has made
Speaker 1: it so he doesn't let himself play dragon Quest because
Speaker 1: he knows that it will derail his life and so
Speaker 1: he doesn't let himself do it. He also there's other
Speaker 1: things that he's just like, I don't I can't follow
Speaker 1: follow college football or certain things like that, where he's like,
Speaker 1: I it's too much work and I will become obsessed.
Speaker 1: It's the way I am with TikTok, Like I just
Speaker 1: can't have it on my phone. I know it's I'm
Speaker 1: going to love it and it's going to take up
Speaker 1: too much time and I just can't sacrifice that time
Speaker 1: right now. But man, I did a Barstools show today,
Speaker 1: controversial one. It's called BFF and it's with I'll talk
Speaker 1: about when I get back from the break. We can
Speaker 1: see a break. Yeah, it's with what's his name Dave,
Speaker 1: the guy who founded Barstool Portnoy. And they were like,
Speaker 1: my publicis were like, you know, he's controversial. Do you
Speaker 1: even want to do this? And I was like, fuck,
Speaker 1: yes I do and I'll tell you about it when
Speaker 1: I get back from break. Andrew Shum coming baby and
Speaker 1: we're back, Welcome back to the show. Um, Yes, I
Speaker 1: did BF. I think it's called BFF. Yeah yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: Well with the Josh guy and the girl Josh and
Speaker 1: yeah Bree Josh is like a twenty year old TikTok
Speaker 1: or Bree is an influencer herself. Um, and then Dave
Speaker 1: like is the guy that's founded barstool and yeah, Dave
Speaker 1: is very old and um yeah, I mean I it
Speaker 1: was funny because I'm wondering if it makes the cut.
Speaker 1: You know, Dave got you know, it's controversy. He's controversial
Speaker 1: because he got like a little bit me too and stuff. Right,
Speaker 1: Like he was pursuing young women and then he like
Speaker 1: they would get to his house or whatever and he would,
Speaker 1: I guess, be mean to them if they didn't fuck it.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I like it to me that nothing
Speaker 1: illegal took place. So I was just like, yeah, I'll
Speaker 1: be on a show and i'll I'll just I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna like kiss his ass or you know, I'll I'll
Speaker 1: say what I want. But I didn't feel like I
Speaker 1: had to go in there and like call him out.
Speaker 1: I just wanted to see what it was about. But
Speaker 1: I said, at the very beginning, it was like, Hi, Dave.
Speaker 1: I was like, it's great because he was remote. I
Speaker 1: was like, it's great. Here at barstool, I go as
Speaker 1: a woman. I feel great. Here went to the bathroom.
Speaker 1: You guys got like lotions for us. You have like pads, tampons,
Speaker 1: a scale. I had to write my weight on a
Speaker 1: little board. I don't know what that was like. You know,
Speaker 1: I was obviously joking because we're gonna take that, we're
Speaker 1: gonna take that out. But um, alright, Uh, it was
Speaker 1: just like really, I'll be interested to see if they
Speaker 1: take out that joke. He goes, we're just gonna leave
Speaker 1: in the part where he said it was great for women.
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, so we'll see if he leaves.
Speaker 1: If he leaves it in, I love a different feeling
Speaker 1: about the whole experience than if he takes that out.
Speaker 1: So how did the interview go? Like? How did you feel?
Speaker 1: It was good? I mean it was like we just
Speaker 1: like talked about like the way people just to Coachella.
Speaker 1: We went over like, um different uh, just news headlines
Speaker 1: pretty much. It wasn't like an interview as much as
Speaker 1: it was more like he asked me about you know,
Speaker 1: the Will Smith Chris Rock thing. Um, yeah, it was.
Speaker 1: It was fine. You know, I have thoughts, but I'll
Speaker 1: save those for offline or when you know I have
Speaker 1: a a more distance. No, but it was it was
Speaker 1: actually like I had. I really did have fun on
Speaker 1: that show. And then I did also did KFC Radio
Speaker 1: at Barstool, which is like one of my favorite shows
Speaker 1: of all time to do and we had a great time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I did. I did. I played the game where they
Speaker 1: do ask the Internet and no, I talked about on
Speaker 1: KFC radio. I was like, because I called out like
Speaker 1: edgy comedians and I talked about how edgye comedians. I
Speaker 1: pretty much did the edge and was like, here's your
Speaker 1: audience needs to know what comedians are doing when they
Speaker 1: act like so cool and kid and I explained. He
Speaker 1: loved it, and then, um, I did tell him a
Speaker 1: lot of these asked the internet questions are kid? And
Speaker 1: he was like they are And then but I had fun.
Speaker 1: It was fun. It was good, but um yeah, it
Speaker 1: was a long day. I mean I just came from
Speaker 1: barstool and before that, I are Silverman. Yes, started out
Speaker 1: the day at the Today Show. Well, I started out
Speaker 1: here at my hotel room Robin is in town. She
Speaker 1: was my makeup artist on f boy um Island one.
Speaker 1: I met her. She's from she lives in Cayman and
Speaker 1: she came to town and did my makeup starting at
Speaker 1: six thirty and then we got picked up at nine fifteen,
Speaker 1: went to the Today's Show. I knew that Sarah was
Speaker 1: going to be on the show. Sarah Silverman was going
Speaker 1: to be on the Stay Show with me. They were like,
Speaker 1: do you want to do a segment with her? And um, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was really fun. So I got there and I
Speaker 1: saw her and we had a really good time just
Speaker 1: like just talking about she like dating um comic writer
Speaker 1: Rory Albany's and she was just talking about how they
Speaker 1: came to be and like, um, she's talking about her
Speaker 1: friendship with Chelsea Handler and how this was like backstage.
Speaker 1: But she's just like so nice and personalble. She came
Speaker 1: just to my Acreen room. We were just like hanging out.
Speaker 1: She's like, what are you promoting? I was telling her
Speaker 1: about my show, and she's just so nice. Had you
Speaker 1: met her before? Yeah, I if you don't know, like
Speaker 1: the way I am about Taylor Swift, I was about
Speaker 1: Sarah Silverman for a few years of my life, like
Speaker 1: massive le mass, maybe more so because I was younger
Speaker 1: and a little bit more insane, and um, I knew
Speaker 1: everything about her. Bought her posters off eBay like I
Speaker 1: And this was back when there was no Instagram there was.
Speaker 1: It was just like maybe my space back then. But
Speaker 1: I was obsessed with her, read everything, watched everything, and
Speaker 1: I don't know now fast forward all these years. I
Speaker 1: mean you you literally your first stand up you were
Speaker 1: you were like substituting, like like she was your hero.
Speaker 1: She was your mentor, like in your mind Taylor, and
Speaker 1: she was as unattainable. It was like, um, it was
Speaker 1: like the way I feel about Taylor Swift in terms
Speaker 1: of like what I'm doing with music now, Like that's
Speaker 1: how much of a novice I was compared to her talent.
Speaker 1: And now I've been in the business long enough that
Speaker 1: I've kind of like caught up and I'm kind of
Speaker 1: in her world obviously, Um, but I've I've overcome the
Speaker 1: initial like, oh my godness, because that happened early on
Speaker 1: I talked about on the Today Show today, but like
Speaker 1: I got to meet her during my obsession random late
Speaker 1: because we had a mutual friend, Doug Benson, and it
Speaker 1: was I mean, that was one of the wildest days
Speaker 1: of my life. Like just him like just being like, Hey,
Speaker 1: Sara's gonna pick us up today. We're gonna go to
Speaker 1: Kimmel And I was just like Sarah, Like what he's like,
Speaker 1: Sarah sil Woman, I wait, Doug, I don't think I
Speaker 1: was just I was just graduated college. I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't think you understand, Like, Sarah sil We're riding
Speaker 1: in Sarah Silverman's car, and like it was it was.
Speaker 1: It was insane. I went to Jimmy Kimmel. That was
Speaker 1: the time I went to Jimmy Kimmel with Sarah and Doug,
Speaker 1: and that was the one where she did I'm fucking
Speaker 1: that damon that whole thing. That was like the debut
Speaker 1: of it was a Jimmy's birthday and we were there,
Speaker 1: and um, she's always been so nice to me, like, hey, doll,
Speaker 1: you know, just like hey, They're like always calling me doll,
Speaker 1: and like just like all come here and just so loving,
Speaker 1: so sweet, always so nice. And we never become like
Speaker 1: close friends because I mean, I wouldn't if I her
Speaker 1: was her want to be close friends with someone who's
Speaker 1: that obsessed with me. It's like the same reason I
Speaker 1: don't think Kayler Swift and I will ever be that
Speaker 1: close no matter what happens, because it's just hard to
Speaker 1: be friends with someone that's that obsessed with you. But
Speaker 1: today on the Today Show, I got to like kind
Speaker 1: of gush about her and to her face, um, which
Speaker 1: I have not I think I've done before, but probably
Speaker 1: try to play it a little bit cooler. Today I
Speaker 1: was really able to like go pretty fucking hard right
Speaker 1: in front of more, like because I was a camera,
Speaker 1: and it was just easier with like you know those people.
Speaker 1: Everything is always easier on a camera. Yeah. Yeah, Like
Speaker 1: I would never do tell her that because, like it's
Speaker 1: a lot to take on someone's energy when they're like
Speaker 1: I love you, like I've known everything. Like that's a
Speaker 1: lot for that person. That's why I tend to not
Speaker 1: do that and burden people with that. I don't mind
Speaker 1: it when people do it to me. I like help
Speaker 1: them through it and like I get it, but I
Speaker 1: I just don't want to bother people that are just
Speaker 1: you know, they she has a long day of press.
Speaker 1: I'm sure I just didn't. But on camera, I'm like,
Speaker 1: this is more, this is interesting, this is better for
Speaker 1: are people to witness And did her to kind of
Speaker 1: like have to take it because we're on camera as
Speaker 1: opposed to like what was her role on the show,
Speaker 1: Like what did she talk about? She was there promoting
Speaker 1: she was a play that I walked by today. I'm
Speaker 1: in Chelsea and I walked by the theater and I
Speaker 1: see a sign for the bed Weather and I'm like
Speaker 1: that the name of Sarah's book. And then I look
Speaker 1: and I'm like, that's a play by Sarah Silver. I
Speaker 1: was like, Oh, it's a musical of the book, and
Speaker 1: it's the musical she's promoting that. Um. The guy from
Speaker 1: Fountains of Wayne, Adam Slicinger, I forget his last name,
Speaker 1: but he died during covid um but he wrote this.
Speaker 1: He died tragically. He's the lead singer Fountains of Wayne.
Speaker 1: But they wrote this whole musical that was supposed to
Speaker 1: come out in and now it's coming out now. And
Speaker 1: she was there promoting that. But we just had fun
Speaker 1: and she did a segment that I did a segment
Speaker 1: and she was sitting there for it. And then we
Speaker 1: did this other segment called like Secrets, and we were
Speaker 1: supposed to write down secrets on a piece of paper
Speaker 1: and then they put him in a bowl. Me Hoda
Speaker 1: Jenna Bush, the two hosts of The Tay Show, and
Speaker 1: then Sarah and My secrets were really weird, and there's
Speaker 1: we're all adorable and mine were. You know. I like
Speaker 1: to watch videos of people having corns cut out of
Speaker 1: their foot to like soothe myself to sleep. And there's
Speaker 1: where like one time I threw a shoe at my
Speaker 1: sister's head and it cut her lip, or like one
Speaker 1: time I I used to sell now in later's to
Speaker 1: my classmates, and mine was the other one I did
Speaker 1: was I can't get a ring off my finger and
Speaker 1: it's been on for two months and I have no plan.
Speaker 1: I'm going to die with it on. So that was
Speaker 1: my other secret. But I had a hard time coming
Speaker 1: up with secrets, I really did. I gave them a bunch,
Speaker 1: but um that those were the two they chose. Ht
Speaker 1: me to see what I kind of like when people
Speaker 1: are like, my, uh, what's it called? When it's like
Speaker 1: my fuck? I just never mind. I just drew a
Speaker 1: blank when when someone yeah, when I when you have
Speaker 1: COVID brain and you can't think of me? What's to
Speaker 1: call when? Uh? Not? When you have a dirty secret,
Speaker 1: when you have a uh, you'll know it. I kind
Speaker 1: of know what you're talking about, Bucky. It's really hard
Speaker 1: to come up with a secret because you could think
Speaker 1: a secret is something that my guilty pleasure, my guilty
Speaker 1: pleasure I hate, like something adorable. Yeah, it's never it's
Speaker 1: like I like to eat pizzas cold. Sometimes it's never
Speaker 1: were bage. There was some like a cooking demonstration on
Speaker 1: in the segment before us, and we were watching it
Speaker 1: and Sarah was like, I've never had fish. I goes
Speaker 1: at your scre today, that's a good secret. She was like,
Speaker 1: I've never eaten fish. I'm from New I'm from New
Speaker 1: Hampshire and I've never Like I'm from New England and
Speaker 1: I've never had fish. And I was like, is that
Speaker 1: your secret? And she goes, no, that's a good one,
Speaker 1: though I should have said that one. But hers, um her,
Speaker 1: I forget what hers were. They were they were darling.
Speaker 1: What they were mine were I gave them. I can
Speaker 1: speak a secret language that I learned on spring break
Speaker 1: in high school that is super easy to learn, but
Speaker 1: impossible to understand unless you know it. I have a
Speaker 1: ring on my finger that I can't get off. It
Speaker 1: has been stuck for two months and I have given
Speaker 1: up and plan on dying with it on I said
Speaker 1: to see with my self to sleep at night, I
Speaker 1: watched videos of people having corns and other growths cut
Speaker 1: dug out of their feet. Um. Number four, I don't
Speaker 1: understand football, and I've tried many times to learn the game,
Speaker 1: but it makes no sense to me and never will.
Speaker 1: And number five. My biggest phobias or centipedes, air shows,
Speaker 1: and men jumping off of diving boards. I was gonna
Speaker 1: say fat men, but I didn't want a fat shame.
Speaker 1: But it is fat men, dumbing of diving words. I
Speaker 1: don't know why. It's like it's just bulky men, bulky
Speaker 1: brazen men. Have you ever seen a guy live fall
Speaker 1: off a diving word? Bad? Like? Have you seen anything
Speaker 1: any Like? What are these fears? Like? I know you
Speaker 1: want to don't want someone to get hurt. I don't
Speaker 1: want anyone to get hurt. I don't want to see blood.
Speaker 1: I don't want to see uh. I don't want to
Speaker 1: hear a head go thwack like I do not Like
Speaker 1: I didn't like watching American's Home Videos with Danny Tanner,
Speaker 1: Like I love that show, but like I hated seeing
Speaker 1: people get hitting the balls. I hate seeing people tosh
Speaker 1: point no unwatchable to me because I cannot trust that
Speaker 1: I'm not going to see someone get like really maimed.
Speaker 1: But I have a new bid on stage about how
Speaker 1: Like my favorite YouTube videos are the beauty Queen who
Speaker 1: fell in the fire and had to develop a personality
Speaker 1: like these are all my favorite. I love seeing the
Speaker 1: aftermath of these accidents, but I don't want to witness
Speaker 1: the accident itself. Yeah, you like to see them rebound
Speaker 1: from the horrible love people that have been crazily disfigured
Speaker 1: and they have to go out in their world and
Speaker 1: everyone stares at them. Every little kids make comments, people's like,
Speaker 1: people whisper, and they they just love themselves. I think
Speaker 1: it's just such. It's so it's such a good thing
Speaker 1: to watch. It is not me being morbid, like, oh,
Speaker 1: I want to see what this girl looks like with
Speaker 1: their face burned off. It truly motivates me because anything
Speaker 1: I think that I can't go out because I don't
Speaker 1: I feel sad, or I can't go up because I
Speaker 1: feel ugly or whatever, like just to see these people
Speaker 1: how their lives changed when they had to overcome this.
Speaker 1: They not all of them make it, I'm sure, but
Speaker 1: the ones that you hear stories about, like their lives
Speaker 1: are so much better and they just nothing can get
Speaker 1: them down. Like it's just incredible, and it just means
Speaker 1: deep down that none of that stuff really matters. These
Speaker 1: people are way happier than I would guess. J low Is,
Speaker 1: It's amazing. How do I put it though? Where it's
Speaker 1: like when you're confident, like you'll see someone that's so
Speaker 1: disfigured that they lean so much into the confidence of it.
Speaker 1: Because here's the thing. Yes they're gonna get a lot
Speaker 1: of negativity, but they're gonna get a ship ton of
Speaker 1: positivity because it's so extreme, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like like like I'm like, I'm not trying to like huh,
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to like it. If they're using it
Speaker 1: to get like more like likes or whatever, fucking yes,
Speaker 1: do it. But I I know, like, if if there's
Speaker 1: something about you that can be toned down in terms
Speaker 1: of like, you know, because there are things. When you
Speaker 1: see a burn victim, it is a normal thing to go,
Speaker 1: oh my god, Like it is a person that is
Speaker 1: doesn't look like a person, so you should have a
Speaker 1: reaction to It's it's totally normal to go, oh my god.
Speaker 1: One time, when I was in traffic, it was one
Speaker 1: of the most horrible things that I've ever done. And
Speaker 1: I didn't mean to and it couldn't help it. But
Speaker 1: I looked to the right of me when I was
Speaker 1: stopped to stoplight, and burn victim was staring at me
Speaker 1: from the car next to me, and I just go
Speaker 1: I screamed because it was so frightening to see someone
Speaker 1: that looked so disfigured. And I felt so bad. But
Speaker 1: it was a normal reaction to that because it was
Speaker 1: it looked like someone who you know, like it looked
Speaker 1: like a human, but not a human. It's that why
Speaker 1: we don't. Yeah, it was a normal reaction. So I
Speaker 1: feel like if the throw water on them, Nikki and
Speaker 1: I go kill it, kill it. No. I felt so
Speaker 1: fucking bad. We had one victim in mar Town. You
Speaker 1: always have like there's always one, there's always like one,
Speaker 1: and they have like and like and and people know,
Speaker 1: you know that they did stand up thing. They did
Speaker 1: that stand up thing where they had you know, um
Speaker 1: burn victims and stuff do stand up about it. And
Speaker 1: I remember watching that and it actually like change my perspective,
Speaker 1: not my perspective, but like I understood it more. I
Speaker 1: think what happens is you ignore it because you're just
Speaker 1: you're so afraid of it, like when you're a kid
Speaker 1: and you make fun of it and you're scared of it.
Speaker 1: And I really do believe that it like if you
Speaker 1: if you become friends with a burn victim, you do
Speaker 1: not see it at all anymore, or someone with a
Speaker 1: gigantic tumor hanging off their face that they have to
Speaker 1: like part it so they can even put things in
Speaker 1: their mouth, Like I've seen all these things on YouTube.
Speaker 1: I see their family around them and their friends, and
Speaker 1: like they don't see that stuff. It really does go away.
Speaker 1: And I I don't have an experience specifically that I
Speaker 1: can say of like, oh, I I know that feeling,
Speaker 1: but like I know that when I was like so skinny,
Speaker 1: that I looked so scary, like my friends did not
Speaker 1: see what they saw when they first met me. Ultimately,
Speaker 1: it just they didn't look at me like a skealt,
Speaker 1: like a walking skeleton. They just they even told me
Speaker 1: they were like, we like, I forget that you look
Speaker 1: so like I forgot that you look so scary. People
Speaker 1: would like come to me and be like, what's wrong
Speaker 1: with Nikki, And I be like, oh my god, I forgot.
Speaker 1: And I remember hanging out with Josh Blue, who has
Speaker 1: cerebral palsy, and I was a little bit scared to
Speaker 1: hang out with him because his body is very like
Speaker 1: twisted up and like really you know, um, you know,
Speaker 1: cramped up in in a in a way that's he's
Speaker 1: struggling with um, his CP and I used to be like,
Speaker 1: I just don't want to be around it because I
Speaker 1: was like scared that I didn't know how to hug
Speaker 1: him or I didn't know how to like if I
Speaker 1: should I help him with things, or like when he
Speaker 1: talks slow or he talks weird, Like it's just you're
Speaker 1: scared of what you don't know. And I just remember
Speaker 1: working with him one weekend and like by the end
Speaker 1: of it, I was like I just didn't even know
Speaker 1: he had a thing, Like I forgot that he I
Speaker 1: was in public with him and saw people looking and
Speaker 1: like didn't understand why they were looking at seriously disappeared
Speaker 1: And that was the first time I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: you really can it. You You just you adapt and
Speaker 1: you just you really do tend to love someone for
Speaker 1: who they are. And that's I think probably an adaptation
Speaker 1: because we with each other, even after we're like old
Speaker 1: in our body, we end up looking like burn victims anyway,
Speaker 1: without how old we get and like wrinkly and stuff like,
Speaker 1: we end up looking yeah exactly, Um I do. I'll
Speaker 1: do a fake burn someday, um, but sprayburn. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it's I think, yeah, I think exposure to it,
Speaker 1: I think, um, yeah it is, yeah, but how do
Speaker 1: you you know? It sucks? You can't experience it unless
Speaker 1: you get to get close to them, Like you can't
Speaker 1: just like rent someone that has a deformity, so you
Speaker 1: can feel better about it, like questions and engage them,
Speaker 1: ask them about it, because like they're willing to talk
Speaker 1: to you about it and acting like it's not there.
Speaker 1: It's not like you can act like it's not there
Speaker 1: when you don't need to actually ask them about it.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, what the funk happen to you? But
Speaker 1: it's actually okay to do that, like I've I've found
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't want to speak for all of them,
Speaker 1: but like people who have disabilities don't mind you going
Speaker 1: like what's going on here? Like can you explain it? Um?
Speaker 1: The greatest shown? No, it's the it's this, it's all this,
Speaker 1: it's all this. It's the best because it's like a
Speaker 1: freak show at circus, right, Yeah, it's unbelio. Oh yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: maybe I gotta see it. Yeah, I'll just never forget.
Speaker 1: Like watching I've talked about it before, but I did
Speaker 1: watch it. It's like my five year old nephew and
Speaker 1: my brother was like, this isn't quite right for them yet,
Speaker 1: Like I think I want to I think do they
Speaker 1: have Were they okay at the end of it? You
Speaker 1: have questions? I think I was like they got to
Speaker 1: see this movie. I was like, I think this is
Speaker 1: more about me than my nephew's. You know, isn't so
Speaker 1: often whenever you watch make someone watch something never they
Speaker 1: never like it as what does you do? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: and you're like you're looking at it then the whole
Speaker 1: time like like it Like it's why I say go
Speaker 1: alone too. Shows you don't have to check in on anyone,
Speaker 1: just to go Joe fucking enjoy things. All right, let's
Speaker 1: get to um the news. You're here. It's Tuesday, folks.
Speaker 1: You know what that means. It is Tuesday day. I
Speaker 1: hope you're having all the swells out there. Uh. If
Speaker 1: if you're not, it's okay. We're all depressed. We'll just me.
Speaker 1: I'm alone. Sometimes I think about life and how it's
Speaker 1: just not really that great and like I could be
Speaker 1: more and everything, and do you know what's alright? Well,
Speaker 1: you can go see Nikki and Andrew at the State
Speaker 1: Theater in Minneapolis. Yeah, on a I'm excited about that.
Speaker 1: I will be. It's such good moods for those shows.
Speaker 1: I really hope people come out. I'm going to be whatever.
Speaker 1: My fucking press. We will be over, Nicky Glaze, welcome
Speaker 1: to Nickie Lazer, will be out so that Sunday, there's
Speaker 1: nothing else I have to do. Like it's a huge
Speaker 1: It will be a vacation for me in Minneapolis and
Speaker 1: Madison this weekend. I will be in the best mood.
Speaker 1: Please come out to those shows. It'll be yeah, and
Speaker 1: and give Andrew a hug at the me greet. Will
Speaker 1: you come on? Alright? What's the first news item? Al right?
Speaker 1: The first news item was sent to me by a
Speaker 1: one Nikki Glazer. Oh yeah, I forget what this was.
Speaker 1: But when did we start doing this? I forget it already.
Speaker 1: A study finds that a majority of people discount habits
Speaker 1: that underline much of human behavior, much like drinking coffee,
Speaker 1: for example, and they write them off as behaviors that
Speaker 1: are due to our mood and our intentions. M scientists
Speaker 1: say that much of what we do every day is habitual.
Speaker 1: Uh that automatic triggering of behavior versus conscious intentions is
Speaker 1: what makes a behavior habit. So what they were saying.
Speaker 1: What I gleaned from this is like a lot of
Speaker 1: times people wake up in the morning they're like, I
Speaker 1: need coffee. I'm so tired, I needed to wake up.
Speaker 1: It's not so much that you needed to wake up.
Speaker 1: You just are like succumbing to a habit. So like
Speaker 1: we are more ated to habits than we are the
Speaker 1: substance that we think we're addicted to, which was kind
Speaker 1: of turned what I think about caffeine addiction on its
Speaker 1: head for me. I and I do believe that, like
Speaker 1: I woke up this morning and I go there are
Speaker 1: times where I do not need coffee. I just want
Speaker 1: to do something. I want to do the thing that's comfortable,
Speaker 1: going into the Starbucks, the mobile order, pressing, like the
Speaker 1: submit button, going in, grabbing it, the warm cup in
Speaker 1: my hand. It's not about the drug as much as
Speaker 1: it is about the habit. I thought that was I
Speaker 1: just thought that was interesting. Does that make you think
Speaker 1: about anything in your life? I mean, yeah, every time
Speaker 1: we get Starbucks. I mean that's what you even said yesterday,
Speaker 1: oh right, two days ago. It made me just I
Speaker 1: don't know, half a cup of coffee. I mean, it's
Speaker 1: just it changed your whole life. We got to the
Speaker 1: airport Monday morning in Nashville and you go, God, coffee
Speaker 1: is good. And I was like, isn't it like we
Speaker 1: just weard such a better mood than when we got
Speaker 1: to the car. But it could be us feeling fulfilled
Speaker 1: from doing our habit. Yeah, what does that? Does a
Speaker 1: ritual make you feel safe? World? Yes, that things are
Speaker 1: happening the way they're supposed to. There's nothing like novelist
Speaker 1: fun and sexy. But I think when it comes to habits, Um,
Speaker 1: there's something just very comforting, comforting about it. Yeah, I've
Speaker 1: never been a habitual person. Yeah, what is what are
Speaker 1: your habits in the morning? Know, when you wake up
Speaker 1: in the morning, what do you have the same breakfast
Speaker 1: every morning? I don't have the same breakfast every morning.
Speaker 1: I guess maybe going on my phone is a bad habit.
Speaker 1: But this also applies to good habits. From what they said, Um,
Speaker 1: like what so for example, like Andrew exercising and putting
Speaker 1: his workout routine on his Instagram story, like doing it
Speaker 1: on a regular basis around the same time, in the
Speaker 1: same way, and just you know, um, maybe you thought
Speaker 1: the intention was, Oh, I'm going to get in shape
Speaker 1: to look better. But it could have been like something
Speaker 1: else was just like right, like to build to build
Speaker 1: a comfortable like yeah, habit, and also like it gave
Speaker 1: you something to do at a certain time of day.
Speaker 1: It was positive. You felt good after so that is
Speaker 1: what kept you motivated. So we could also look at
Speaker 1: it in that way. There's something just so cozy about
Speaker 1: the thing you do every Like when I get into
Speaker 1: bed and I get to pull up read it every day,
Speaker 1: it just means my day is over and I get
Speaker 1: this thing that I saved till the end of the day.
Speaker 1: I don't go and read it before then because it's
Speaker 1: like that's my safe, that's my fun little like cachet
Speaker 1: of all this fun stuff I get to read. That's
Speaker 1: just such a little treat for me. Um in the
Speaker 1: morning breakfast and coffee are so exciting every morning as
Speaker 1: a habit. Also you know walking my dog when I
Speaker 1: do have my dog with me, or um, yeah, you
Speaker 1: talk your phone when you wake up, Oh my god. Yes,
Speaker 1: of course it's not even a habit. It's just like
Speaker 1: a reflex a question though, YEA, knowing this, do you
Speaker 1: think that you could change a bad habit? More easily
Speaker 1: now that you know that it's not something that your
Speaker 1: system absolutely needs. Like yeah, because this this is fits
Speaker 1: into everything I believe about addictions or about like bad behavior,
Speaker 1: is that we convince ourselves it's so hard to quit
Speaker 1: because we're addicted. Like smoking, people are like, oh God,
Speaker 1: but like, when you really get down to it, a
Speaker 1: nicotine addiction is not a difficult addiction at all. It's
Speaker 1: like that's part of the propaganda by the cigarette companies
Speaker 1: is to convince you it's hard, because they know if
Speaker 1: you think it's hard, you can go, oh it's hard,
Speaker 1: I can't quit. So as soon as I let go of, oh,
Speaker 1: nicotine's hard to quit, which I had been telling myself
Speaker 1: for years, it was easy to let go of. So
Speaker 1: if I'm able to tell myself when I'm craving that
Speaker 1: third coffee, like is this because you're tired and you
Speaker 1: need caffeine and like you're scared of a headache will
Speaker 1: come on if you don't have it, Or is this
Speaker 1: because you just are feeling a little stressed out and
Speaker 1: you want to the comfort of a habit, and I
Speaker 1: think it'll be easier to let go off. I think
Speaker 1: I'm not checking my from I'm gonna go. Granted, I
Speaker 1: still haven't gone to that Chinese place I said I
Speaker 1: was going to. But I'm not checking my I'm not checking.
Speaker 1: We gotta get to the comments story before any of this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it's next. I don't know about it. I
Speaker 1: feel like coming. I'm not. I'm not checking my phone
Speaker 1: before I get out of bed. From now on at least,
Speaker 1: how are you going to enforce this? Try it? Let's
Speaker 1: all try it. Let's all try it. We're not checking her.
Speaker 1: Do we remind ourselves before we go to bed tonight? Like,
Speaker 1: will you guys remind me? Because I'll fine, Okay, so
Speaker 1: what can we in the morning? I will just but
Speaker 1: I have tricked my phone next to me? Why we
Speaker 1: have for work? For working over my white noise and
Speaker 1: my alarm clock? All right, well, and maybe just me
Speaker 1: and Andrew will do We'll try. I don't check Instagram
Speaker 1: right away, like I eventually get to it in the morning.
Speaker 1: I usually put on Chris's radio show as I get
Speaker 1: into the shower and it ready, and that's fine. I
Speaker 1: don't check Instagram and emails and texts until like sometimes
Speaker 1: I'll see text and there's tons of them and I'm
Speaker 1: just like, no, I don't need to do this right now,
Speaker 1: like when I have time it comes, I can do it.
Speaker 1: But um, get to the next story. Yes, please, let's
Speaker 1: do it. Okay. I'm in the habit of just like
Speaker 1: talking so long for through the first story, so let's
Speaker 1: change that, all right. This is a crazy story. Firefighters
Speaker 1: rescued a woman who had tumbled into a public vault toilet.
Speaker 1: Do you know what that is? I heard about this?
Speaker 1: She dropped her phone. She dropped her phone, and there
Speaker 1: a vault toilet is one of those like public toilets
Speaker 1: that don't flush. It's just like a like a well
Speaker 1: world like, except deeper and a little bit bigger. Um
Speaker 1: while attempting to fish her cell phone out of the
Speaker 1: waist using dog leashes, so basically what she did. She
Speaker 1: was using the phone on the toilet when it fell
Speaker 1: in after she disassembled the toilet seat. She used dog
Speaker 1: leashes to try to retrieve the phone and eventually used
Speaker 1: um mountain America. Yes, yes, and so she tied herself
Speaker 1: off as she reached for it, and the effort fail.
Speaker 1: She felt horried to rescue this bit at least poor firefighters.
Speaker 1: They said it was like the first time they ever
Speaker 1: had to rescue someone. She fell head first just because
Speaker 1: she needed her phone? What was on her phone? Like?
Speaker 1: This is? This? Is it? Does this woman? Do we
Speaker 1: know her name and face? Well? Here she after being rescued,
Speaker 1: she was washed down, and she was strongly encouraged to
Speaker 1: seek medical attention after being exposed to human waste, but
Speaker 1: she didn't. She just wanted to leave. She's probably so embarrassed.
Speaker 1: Did she get her did you get she did? That's
Speaker 1: how she called the firefighters. Oh god, she called from
Speaker 1: inside the ship cavern. I'm mean, my stomach is flipping
Speaker 1: right now. That's the most disgusting thing I can ever imagine. Like,
Speaker 1: what a torturous thing to happen? Where does it end?
Speaker 1: I mean, I I want to know, man. I hope
Speaker 1: I would watch a seven hour documentary series about this
Speaker 1: incident and about this woman in her life, how it,
Speaker 1: how it got to this, How we got to this one.
Speaker 1: I want to know about her childhood. I want to
Speaker 1: know what happened, how much, what is on her phone?
Speaker 1: What she looks at on her phone? What apps she's
Speaker 1: How far would you go though to get your phone? Like,
Speaker 1: let's say you were walking into an elevator and the
Speaker 1: phone fell in between the elevator and the like the door,
Speaker 1: and it fell down. I would go to the front
Speaker 1: desk and go, this is what happened. What what are
Speaker 1: we looking at? What? What? What can we do? And
Speaker 1: then I would just go to the A. T and
Speaker 1: T store and go, I'm fucked, Like listen, I have
Speaker 1: the financial means to buy another phone right away. And
Speaker 1: it's not a huge hit, but like I would, I
Speaker 1: would go pretty far to get back my phone. But
Speaker 1: um dropping in the toilet, Yeah, I'd reached right and
Speaker 1: grab it vault toilet. I'm not scared of getting my
Speaker 1: hands dirty. Talked with Andrew Santino about it. I saw someone.
Speaker 1: This happened to someone in front of me, I swear
Speaker 1: to God not no, I'm not kidding. I was at
Speaker 1: camp and we were we were looking for like worms,
Speaker 1: We're looking for like worms with the fish, and we're
Speaker 1: like picking up big rock We're trying to pick up
Speaker 1: rocks to like like like and there was this big
Speaker 1: heavy like rock and we didn't know why it was
Speaker 1: so heavy, and it was so and we had like
Speaker 1: four people try to like fucking move this rock, and
Speaker 1: we moved it. We moved it, and we moved it
Speaker 1: and fucking it was. It was covering a ship hole
Speaker 1: like a ship like like and the kid just fell
Speaker 1: right in. Wait did you put him? Did he or
Speaker 1: did he slip? He slipped and he just fell And
Speaker 1: I was like, can you have a worm while you're down? No? No, no,
Speaker 1: he was like grab a dog leash you get him out.
Speaker 1: Did he was able to get out? Or was he
Speaker 1: like swimming in this ship hole? So he was swimming
Speaker 1: in the first secon he was able to He grabbed him,
Speaker 1: but it was to his neck and he's running around.
Speaker 1: He got out of there, and he didn't know what
Speaker 1: to do with his body. You don't know what to
Speaker 1: do when you're and he's just he was running around
Speaker 1: like like like like I don't know, like a chicken
Speaker 1: with the head cutt like he didn't know what to
Speaker 1: do like he was. It was. It was that embarrassing,
Speaker 1: like I mean, I don't know, I mean I think
Speaker 1: he talked about on the podcast before, but the homeless
Speaker 1: man in Hollywood Boulevard who a woman after she got
Speaker 1: done with a dinner with her friends in two thousand nineteen,
Speaker 1: was walking to her car, was parked on board and
Speaker 1: a homeless man with a bucket of his feces that
Speaker 1: he had been collecting for weeks and months. It was
Speaker 1: warm diarrhea. He dumped it on, pulled her out into
Speaker 1: the street as she was trying to get into her car,
Speaker 1: dumped it on her and then left and she had
Speaker 1: shit water coming off of her eyelashes like it was
Speaker 1: just and she she's awesome. She went public with it
Speaker 1: and was like, I feel sad for that man. We
Speaker 1: need to help these homeless people, like this man was
Speaker 1: clearly deranged. Like she was not gonna hide. She was
Speaker 1: not embarrassed of what happened to her, And I think
Speaker 1: most people would be like, once you've been dowst and ship,
Speaker 1: you think that, like, how can She was like I
Speaker 1: have trauma from it, I have PTSD, Like I still
Speaker 1: like she's but she was so you can watch the
Speaker 1: news report on it. It's wild. It's wild web and
Speaker 1: they have a like a video of it too. It's
Speaker 1: it's disgusting, it's so awful. I'm sorry, I'd rather be
Speaker 1: punched in the face. Absolutely, it's just the it's so wild,
Speaker 1: this thing that is inside all of us on a
Speaker 1: daily basis that we let go of and it was
Speaker 1: like we are walking around with inside of us. Is
Speaker 1: the number one fear of all of us that makes
Speaker 1: us like, I really feel nauseous right now even talking
Speaker 1: about these. And I'm not someone who gets really like
Speaker 1: sick from talking about gross stuff. I'm not someone who's like,
Speaker 1: don't talk about that. I'm eating right now, I'm feeling
Speaker 1: my stomach is doing things. So let's get to why
Speaker 1: do Yeah, let's get to the next story. Okay, this
Speaker 1: is fun um. This is the most popular song from
Speaker 1: the year you were born. Okay, thanks to just Jared
Speaker 1: for coming up with us. Ok I think I know
Speaker 1: what it is. What do you think? Oh god, it was.
Speaker 1: I've looked this up before because it's like the artists
Speaker 1: the artists, Wait, is this a year you were born
Speaker 1: or the month the year you were born? Popular song
Speaker 1: of the year. I'm gonna get Prince something by Prince No,
Speaker 1: I don't know, You're not that far off. It's Jump
Speaker 1: by a Van Halen. Oh yeah, gohead jump jump yeah
Speaker 1: for my love jumping. Wait, No, that's not the right song.
Speaker 1: That's a difference. Jump jump Jump for my Love. That's
Speaker 1: a different song. I know how it goes, and I'm
Speaker 1: not going to sing it. Yeah. I that's interesting because
Speaker 1: when your baby like don't hear music, you know, you
Speaker 1: like don't retain it. So it's not like that brings
Speaker 1: me back to like, oh, that brings me back to
Speaker 1: coming out of my mom's bus. The nostalgia? All right?
Speaker 1: What about eight for Andrews? Right? Eight? I mean I'm
Speaker 1: guessing like something like Ario Speedwagon. M good guess, uh
Speaker 1: something George Michael. Maybe that's a good guess. Good guess
Speaker 1: it's actually Blondie And the song is call Me, Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: call me down by the call Me I love, you
Speaker 1: can call me any any call me kind of sounds
Speaker 1: like a little bit call me okay, what about you
Speaker 1: know h okay m hm. He's it's tough because none
Speaker 1: of us are really alive yet. I mean, yeah that
Speaker 1: when your baby you don't you're not Like I could,
Speaker 1: I could guess what the song was when I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, the night late nineties to early two thousand's. Um,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know what it was. It
Speaker 1: it was, oh the police, every breath you take. Oh
Speaker 1: that's a good one. What a year? That's really good?
Speaker 1: You know that um September eleven September, Like, the number
Speaker 1: one song during September eleven on Billboard charts was a
Speaker 1: keep on Falling, get in out of the with the fallen.
Speaker 1: Uh what yeah, Alicia Keys behind this? I know, well,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not pointing any fingers, but I love
Speaker 1: to look up, like what was happening at that time
Speaker 1: of like what was the number one song when fucking
Speaker 1: COVID hit? Um? Oh, two thousand and twenty? Was that?
Speaker 1: Let's say, yeah, what was the COVID? Yeah? What was
Speaker 1: the two? What was what was the day before we
Speaker 1: found out of COVID? Like I think she just has years?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, so then what was the two thousand twenty
Speaker 1: COVID dropped? Yeah, I mean that was classically March. I'll
Speaker 1: listen to the sirens. People are still banging their pots
Speaker 1: and pans. Okay um. The most popular song according to
Speaker 1: this list was Blinding Lights by the Weekend. Yeah, that
Speaker 1: checks out. Everyone's doing it on TikTok Dane Dane didn't.
Speaker 1: It's so weird that that someday is going to be
Speaker 1: the same as call Me You Get. It's going to
Speaker 1: be such like a throwback song. It's just I mean,
Speaker 1: I know that the day it works, but it's just
Speaker 1: weird that that will be an oldie someday, even though
Speaker 1: I think that oldies still are oldies. Like to me,
Speaker 1: sixties music is still oldies and nineties music is just
Speaker 1: nineties music, even though nine these music now is oldies
Speaker 1: when sixties music was old these back in the nineties. Sense, yeah, right,
Speaker 1: like the nineties, do you think it's old these two
Speaker 1: young kids, Well that like two thousand is far enough
Speaker 1: from us as like when night when like, yeah, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Yes, it's wild, it's ages, but
Speaker 1: we're the youngest were ever gonna be, so just like
Speaker 1: fucking be excited about it. I mean, you just have
Speaker 1: to be, I know. Um. I actually on that podcast today,
Speaker 1: I got to talk to that twenty year old who's
Speaker 1: on it named Josh something. But he was so sweet.
Speaker 1: He's twenty years old and he's like a TikTok kid
Speaker 1: and they were playing his TikTok's because they wanted me
Speaker 1: to roast him. But I was like, you're adorable, and
Speaker 1: I was like, honestly, I want to know, like what
Speaker 1: went into this TikTok? Like how many times did you
Speaker 1: practice it? Did you know that you like look cute
Speaker 1: when you like look to the side and like kind
Speaker 1: of smile and do like like I was like, did
Speaker 1: you know? He's like I was. I was like, tell
Speaker 1: me the setting, like where did this seppen? He's like
Speaker 1: two thousand seventeen, I'm in my basement. I was like,
Speaker 1: was your mom din? And you were like one more
Speaker 1: mom and he was like yeah kinda and it was
Speaker 1: like it was it was like behind the music vch
Speaker 1: one but behind the TikTok. It was fascinating. Actually, no,
Speaker 1: it wild like all these kids start somewhere, they start
Speaker 1: in a basement and they like they're somehow good looking
Speaker 1: enough where they could just go you know, and and
Speaker 1: then did you know you were cute? Like did you know?
Speaker 1: Like when you said like and kind of he goes, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're right, you are one of them. They showed me
Speaker 1: a video later and I go were you of age
Speaker 1: when you made this? And he was like yeah, And
Speaker 1: I was like, you're hot. I didn't want a comment
Speaker 1: because the first one I almost said it, but he
Speaker 1: was a little young. But then the second one I
Speaker 1: was like okay, yes, he goes no. That was last weekend.
Speaker 1: I go, you're hot, You're a cute kid. Good for you,
Speaker 1: all right? They are who they're dating and everything, like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, the whole thing they were like they
Speaker 1: were they on the show. They were like, Josh, you
Speaker 1: got you got caught this weekend canoodling with a woman
Speaker 1: at a club. I'm like, who is this kid? Why
Speaker 1: are teens filming him at a club? Like it was
Speaker 1: just they're so famous, and um, I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1: It's not the type of fame that I'm like, I
Speaker 1: want in and I want to understand. I'm so glad
Speaker 1: that I don't get it, and I'm glad it happens
Speaker 1: for them, like they're allowed to have their own famous world.
Speaker 1: It's like K pop. I don't know any K pop
Speaker 1: artists at all, but they are bigger than any American
Speaker 1: movie star in terms of fans by far. And it's
Speaker 1: okay what you call it. When they were all on
Speaker 1: like the teen magazines, it's the same ship. They're all that.
Speaker 1: Those are those kids. They're gonna grow much bigger now.
Speaker 1: K pop stars are much bigger than like Backstreet think.
Speaker 1: I believe so, yes, yes, I do think so. I
Speaker 1: could be wrong, though, Okay, let's take a quick break
Speaker 1: and come back with Reddit dump. Oh no, why do
Speaker 1: I care? All right, we're back. It's time for why
Speaker 1: do I care? Why do I care? Okay, I don't
Speaker 1: know if you really care about this and um, but
Speaker 1: the besties want to know if you do, so that's
Speaker 1: why I included it. All right. Howard sterns slams Johnny
Speaker 1: Depp for over acting amid his defamation trial against Amber Heard. Oh,
Speaker 1: what's your take on the whole? Johnny Depp? Amber Heard?
Speaker 1: You know, I'm on Reddit and Reddit fucking hates her
Speaker 1: and Johnny Depp's a hero and the reddit's filled with
Speaker 1: men and they just love villainizing this woman who they
Speaker 1: could never get in real life, and so they love
Speaker 1: that there might be the storyline where she's the one
Speaker 1: who's the abuser and he's the innocent one. I've done
Speaker 1: my research and it isn't great research, but what I
Speaker 1: can glean is that they're both abusive idiots, and they
Speaker 1: both did stuff that was reprehensible and gross. And yeah,
Speaker 1: so I feel the news is though I think you
Speaker 1: nail did that. People are dying for people to go
Speaker 1: believe men like people want to hear that narrative so bad,
Speaker 1: and it is a real narrative. I get it, but
Speaker 1: they're really like leaning into like he's he's such a
Speaker 1: soft man, you know what I mean, he's mean, while
Speaker 1: he's like, I'm going to shoot on her and burn
Speaker 1: her body and eater feces, like he's not the nicest
Speaker 1: in the world. Where they both can be shitty, like,
Speaker 1: can't we have that? Can't they be both be wrong?
Speaker 1: Doesn't have to be one or the other, and I did.
Speaker 1: I haven't seen him on the sand, though, but I
Speaker 1: have a lot of friends who are like, she's awful
Speaker 1: and he's just amazing, and I'm like, open your eyes,
Speaker 1: he's terrible too. He's he definitely has kicked her before.
Speaker 1: He definitely has thrown things, He's had violent tantrums, he
Speaker 1: said disgusting things. It doesn't and maybe he did those
Speaker 1: in defense at some point of getting hit himself, which
Speaker 1: but then I will excuse it. But not all of
Speaker 1: those were probably like they're both just two abusive people
Speaker 1: at each other. And you know, I don't know that
Speaker 1: all the details of it, though, but I wanted it
Speaker 1: to just all be her. God, I wanted it so bad,
Speaker 1: just like everyone else. But it's it's not that it's
Speaker 1: not all her. Uh Ny, you're you would say you're
Speaker 1: much bigger than she is, and he gets quiet and
Speaker 1: he just goes I wouldn't say that, and it just
Speaker 1: your face. I'm not even like. I don't even have
Speaker 1: the energy. I can't watch it. Yeah, I don't care,
Speaker 1: and I don't. It makes me uncomfortable to watch them
Speaker 1: have to listen to their voice memos and like hear
Speaker 1: back the text and stuff. It's it's too awkward for me.
Speaker 1: I don't like it. It's uncomfortable. Um, and I'm glad
Speaker 1: that I can sit this one out. I really am
Speaker 1: choosing to sit it out. UM, let's get to reddit
Speaker 1: dump karaoke mode. This is your Reddit dump. What up? Okay,
Speaker 1: Reddit dump, let's do it. I mean, I have not
Speaker 1: been saving things that much, so I'm just gonna try
Speaker 1: to throw some things that you and see if we've
Speaker 1: been through them before. Um. Okay, here's one ask Reddit.
Speaker 1: I don't think i've done this before. What's the piece
Speaker 1: of information you learned that now feels almost illegal to know?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I can't even think of something for myself.
Speaker 1: But someone said when it's satellite television service updates your programming.
Speaker 1: The change signal is only sent for a day or two.
Speaker 1: Satellite bandwidth is finite and expensive. So if you were
Speaker 1: to upgrade your service to get all the channels, disconnect
Speaker 1: your hardware after they all showed up, then called to
Speaker 1: down grade, and waited a few days, your system will
Speaker 1: miss the down grade signal and it could be years
Speaker 1: before any changes get made that would correct your lineup.
Speaker 1: That just seems illegal, but I guess it's not because
Speaker 1: it would take forever to correct. Did you get that?
Speaker 1: Did that make sense to you? Depression? Huh No, it
Speaker 1: confused me, but it it makes sense. But but wait
Speaker 1: to get all the channels, because people do that all
Speaker 1: the time, don't They then upgrade and then downgrade when
Speaker 1: they realize they can't afford an upgrade, But then the
Speaker 1: upgrade stays because it takes so long for that downgrade
Speaker 1: to happen. Well, now they might because I'm proliferating it.
Speaker 1: That's why it feels illegal. Um, someone said, creating nitrogen
Speaker 1: tryo tryo died. When in a liquid form, it is stable,
Speaker 1: but once it dry, as so much as a fly
Speaker 1: landing on it creates a purple smoke explosion. It's so
Speaker 1: unstable that alpha radiation can be used to detonate that stuff.
Speaker 1: It's actually easy to get the material, and I don't
Speaker 1: want to tell people how to do it. I think
Speaker 1: there's a lot of things like that. Um. Someone said
Speaker 1: it is legal to grow opium poppies in the United States,
Speaker 1: but only if you don't know that they can be
Speaker 1: used to make drugs. That's insane that you've gotta be like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I didn't know. What do you think
Speaker 1: they're just do you know that they could be drugs?
Speaker 1: I do? Now? Am I in trouble? Like that's the
Speaker 1: weird thing them now? For six years out? I don't
Speaker 1: know me, I don't know. It's like it's so funny.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Let with the whole Russia stuff, they go, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, Putin's testing nuclear weapons that might be ready
Speaker 1: four months from now. It's like saying nuclear. Huh you
Speaker 1: say nuclear, like George W. Bush did never really made
Speaker 1: fun of him. You did it last week? And I go,
Speaker 1: what do you say nuclear? The Caucus? Yeah? Okay, so yeah,
Speaker 1: Russia Putin no. But all this info is just like
Speaker 1: on Twitter, it's like where are the surprises and war?
Speaker 1: We're just like, oh, in four months, he's gonna like
Speaker 1: I don't know, I just find all this information is
Speaker 1: just like being put out there and everyone's just like, Okay,
Speaker 1: in four months, I'll be ready with the nuclear bomb
Speaker 1: and whatever, like I don't know. I just finally, do
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying? You like, oh, like they
Speaker 1: all there's no like surprise attacks anymore, is what you're saying.
Speaker 1: Let me, yes, there are, That's why we have they're
Speaker 1: surprised at as my friend, I don't know, but I
Speaker 1: think they're And there's definitely like I was surprised with
Speaker 1: the whole um Ukraine thing that there is like ground
Speaker 1: combat still like there's still like fighting in the streets
Speaker 1: and like fights I heard. Okay, let's play the Let's
Speaker 1: play the video of the funeral guy no whatever. At
Speaker 1: the funeral, you'll see this is a guy on a
Speaker 1: talk show that this one. It's kind of like almost
Speaker 1: like a new show that this woman hosts and she
Speaker 1: goes to this guy who has a peculiar job. Bill,
Speaker 1: you're a private investigator. You also call your sports often confessor.
Speaker 1: What do you do? In short? I crashed funerals on
Speaker 1: behalf of the deceased. People hire you, they tell you
Speaker 1: say a secret that they have while they're alive, and
Speaker 1: then they ask you to reveal that truth either at
Speaker 1: their funeral or when their will is I thought this
Speaker 1: was fake will reading or could be a private message
Speaker 1: to somebody delivered face to face. Um a job for
Speaker 1: anybody that can just do it. Takes a little bit
Speaker 1: of nerve, but at the same time, it's a request
Speaker 1: that uh started, believe it or not as a joke.
Speaker 1: Tell us about your first client, do tell us game.
Speaker 1: He was a gentleman that i'd been investigating a claim
Speaker 1: for I got to name only for a short while.
Speaker 1: He had cancer, he was close to death. We got
Speaker 1: to talking about death in the afterlife and all things
Speaker 1: surrounding death, and I suggested he do his own eulogy.
Speaker 1: He said he'd been to plenty of funerals where eulogies
Speaker 1: just aren't shown out of disrespect or the families just
Speaker 1: aren't should and so I suggested to crash his funeral
Speaker 1: for him, and he took me up on the offer,
Speaker 1: and I did, What did he want you to say
Speaker 1: at his funeral? He wanted me to out his best
Speaker 1: mate for trying to sleep with his wife while he
Speaker 1: was on his death. He also asked me to remove
Speaker 1: three people from the congregation that he hadn't seen in
Speaker 1: thirty years. So why would they paying their respect now
Speaker 1: when they could see him when he was alive. And
Speaker 1: you went through with it absolutely? What was the response, Shock,
Speaker 1: Now I'm interrupting the funeral between the loved one and
Speaker 1: mates performing you you're the and I stand up interrupt
Speaker 1: the funeral service and announced that his best mate has
Speaker 1: got to sit down and shut up or bugger off
Speaker 1: because the man in the coffee has got something to say.
Speaker 1: And this is what it is. And I'll open the
Speaker 1: envelope and I'll read aloud exactly what was said. Did
Speaker 1: the best man stay, put walkout? He left pretty quickly.
Speaker 1: Why do you think some people take this approach to
Speaker 1: confess after death? Well, most of it because they haven't
Speaker 1: got the strength to get up and punst with people
Speaker 1: in the face, hurting him. That's that's really what it is.
Speaker 1: I mean it's not all bad either. I mean that's
Speaker 1: it's good bad funny and said there's quite a range
Speaker 1: of funerals that have crashed. How much do charge between
Speaker 1: two and tens and dollars. But they don't need the
Speaker 1: money where they're going and I never get a complaint.
Speaker 1: You said that one before, right, what a cutie? What
Speaker 1: do you think about that? Andred? You loved it? Right,
Speaker 1: it's my favorite thing. I think I've seen it in here.
Speaker 1: I knew it. It's a long clip, but I just
Speaker 1: thought people would like it. First of all, the silence
Speaker 1: in the crowd is huh. The silence in the crowd
Speaker 1: is so funny. But God, would I love to play
Speaker 1: to do that with someone in my family? You know, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you would like to do it after you're dead, or
Speaker 1: you would like to be the guy that says I
Speaker 1: don't think you could. I think you would be too awkward.
Speaker 1: You get so uncomfortable when no, I wouldn't want to
Speaker 1: be I wouldn't want to be that. I couldn't be
Speaker 1: that guy. I couldn't be like, excuse me, you were
Speaker 1: trying to fuck. I would love to be that guy.
Speaker 1: I would like that job, but I could see you
Speaker 1: not liking much. That's why I was surprised. I was like,
Speaker 1: I think that's like one of those things of like
Speaker 1: me picking up dogship with leaves where you would want
Speaker 1: to scare away be dead and telling a secret to
Speaker 1: everybody about like and and have everyone have to feel
Speaker 1: awkward at my own funeral. That would be really that
Speaker 1: would be kind of fun. Yeah, it would be fun.
Speaker 1: Have you ever seen the one where the guy UM
Speaker 1: has a recording inside his casket that's like here, I'm
Speaker 1: a week and everyone is around it's being he's being
Speaker 1: laid into the ground and everyone's laughing because they knew
Speaker 1: this guy has such a funny sense of humor, and
Speaker 1: it really does sound like he's in there, Like come on,
Speaker 1: guys up serious, Yeah, dude, you've been to a funeral
Speaker 1: there to fucking it's like anything would be nice, you know,
Speaker 1: it's good. Yes, I I don't know that there was
Speaker 1: a part of that where he said, like, you know,
Speaker 1: he wanted the guy to say um to kick people
Speaker 1: out that hadn't visited it, hadn't talked to him in
Speaker 1: thirty years. I'm like, why would anyone who have you
Speaker 1: haven't talked to in thirty years coming over? That's a
Speaker 1: long that's a lifetime, Like that's too long, Like why
Speaker 1: does he know those people are going to go to
Speaker 1: the funeral? That's weird? But I do think it's funny
Speaker 1: if you're sitting at a funeral and a guy, a
Speaker 1: random dude, yes that no one knows and I was
Speaker 1: even wondering why he's there, stands up and says, I've
Speaker 1: got the man in the casket has something to say,
Speaker 1: you need shut up to the guy that's delivering the eulogy.
Speaker 1: It's wild and so cool, but yeah, it would be
Speaker 1: like that would be really hard to do. What's like
Speaker 1: the most like, um, have you ever had a moment
Speaker 1: like that where you we're really scared to like stand
Speaker 1: up and say something, and like you need you knew
Speaker 1: you need to do something, and you were just like,
Speaker 1: I'm about to like really embarrass myself. Have you had
Speaker 1: any any feeling like that before where you were like,
Speaker 1: I've had moments where like you feel like you have
Speaker 1: to like speak out a funeral or like do something
Speaker 1: like that, which just scared of living, ship out of me,
Speaker 1: scared and speak out a wedding. I hate but that's planned.
Speaker 1: Oh oh you mean like out of nowhere, just like
Speaker 1: you just like a feeling like that where you're like,
Speaker 1: oh God, I gotta do this, I know I gotta
Speaker 1: do it. I'm scared to do it, you know what
Speaker 1: I was scared of that, not really even playing. And
Speaker 1: it's it goes back to my freshman year in college.
Speaker 1: So when you when you're on your floor, you know,
Speaker 1: everyone meets up in in like the study hall or whatever,
Speaker 1: like on your floor, and everyone meets each other and
Speaker 1: you have to stand up and you just gotta go,
Speaker 1: this is my name, this is where I'm from, this
Speaker 1: is my age. You can't believe how afraid I was
Speaker 1: to do things like that where I would be shame
Speaker 1: really and because I would think everyone would judge me
Speaker 1: based off of like how I said where I'm from
Speaker 1: or whatever, Like it's scared to living ship and now
Speaker 1: that I speak in front of people, people like what
Speaker 1: hell is it possible? But things like that where it's
Speaker 1: like I would feel so much judgment and fear from
Speaker 1: things like that. And that's like that makes me think
Speaker 1: of that, like something like that where and we always
Speaker 1: do that to people. We always go, oh, it's so easy,
Speaker 1: just what's your name, what's your side from? Tell me
Speaker 1: something interesting about yourself. Some people that could be the
Speaker 1: scariest possible thing they can do, and we're just so scary. Um,
Speaker 1: we have to go because my my phone is or
Speaker 1: my computer is literally about to die and it's not
Speaker 1: taking a charge. So I'm gonna go into final thought.
Speaker 1: Um yeah, that's the scariest thing ever, and I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna go and tell my computer dies. To be honest
Speaker 1: with you, is that Okay? Did you ever? Did you
Speaker 1: have that moment Colorado or Kansas or other? No. I
Speaker 1: loved those opportunities. I actually loved those times where you
Speaker 1: were like, oh, say something interesting about yourself, or like
Speaker 1: you're saying something your name is Nikki, and then I
Speaker 1: like blah blah blah and has to be something that
Speaker 1: starts with the same letter as your name. And I
Speaker 1: would always say nice people because nothing else starts with N.
Speaker 1: That is like okay, you know, it's like that's not
Speaker 1: numb beats, Like I never knew what to say. Um.
Speaker 1: I think the moment like things like this that kind
Speaker 1: of give me anxiety is when I'm like I see
Speaker 1: someone being wronged and I know have to stand up
Speaker 1: for them and be like what the funk are you
Speaker 1: doing right now? Like I think like when I have
Speaker 1: to do something like that, or I have to go
Speaker 1: like hey, that's not cool, or like be the one
Speaker 1: to like stand up side just anyone I'm trying to
Speaker 1: think of, like at um uh. You know when I
Speaker 1: was walking down the street in Canada one time and
Speaker 1: a guy was like blaring his music from his phone
Speaker 1: and I had to be like stop, like turn that off.
Speaker 1: That's rude, and like that moment of anxiety. But I
Speaker 1: knew I was right, and I knew that no one
Speaker 1: like this guy needed to be called out. And I
Speaker 1: rarely do something like that, but those moments where you
Speaker 1: just have the bravery to be like I'm gonna call
Speaker 1: out like assholes right now and like I and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna look stupid, I'm gonna look unhinged. I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: the one that's like the guy at that funeral that's
Speaker 1: standing up and everyone goes, who are you to say something?
Speaker 1: But like no, I'm I know I'm doing what's right.
Speaker 1: This guy, I need to understand why you would be
Speaker 1: blasting your music on your speaker phone where it sounds
Speaker 1: shitty when we're in public, it's wild. I go, it's offensive.
Speaker 1: He goes, I turned it up, bro, let me connect
Speaker 1: my yeah. Now he goes, your nail polish offends me
Speaker 1: and I go it's offensive. It goes it's loud. He goes,
Speaker 1: your nail polish is loud, and I go, my blue
Speaker 1: nail polished, this is offensive. He like yeah, And I
Speaker 1: was like, really, I think I did that. And then
Speaker 1: I'm like out of stuff to say. It was on
Speaker 1: the plane this this trip. Yeah, someone like air dropped
Speaker 1: a photo to me and I was like should I
Speaker 1: accept it because I thought it might be a dick
Speaker 1: because sometimes people send like gross stuff to women. And
Speaker 1: I accepted. It was just like two people on the
Speaker 1: plane thing like self is like, yeah, loud bachelor parties.
Speaker 1: That is another thing on planes. That's a perfect example
Speaker 1: on a plane where someone's being rude and you go enough.
Speaker 1: One guy the other day on a plane was like
Speaker 1: I can I get I need to make my connection
Speaker 1: and the woman's like, um, yes, sir, you have to
Speaker 1: sit down, and he goes, I've been on more planes
Speaker 1: than you have in your life. He says this to
Speaker 1: a flight attendant and I he goes, I've literally flown
Speaker 1: more than you have. I saved children for a living,
Speaker 1: and I was and he was already bragging about when
Speaker 1: I got on the plane, this fucking asshole. I was
Speaker 1: so close to calling him out, but then he shut up,
Speaker 1: and I was like, if he says one more thing,
Speaker 1: I get to I get to say something. And then
Speaker 1: he didn't say anything. I was so ad because it
Speaker 1: would have been so good to be like you. I go.
Speaker 1: I was planning on saying the fact that you saved children.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't let a child near you. You fucking creep.
Speaker 1: You're bragging about flying more than this flight attendant shut up?
Speaker 1: No one I was. I was gonna go off so
Speaker 1: hard and everyone's gonna applaud that. Probably, Yeah, that's a
Speaker 1: good point. Yeah. Actually, my cuticles were bleeding and I
Speaker 1: was like, I can't say anything. Guys, we gotta go.
Speaker 1: I don't know why talking faster is gonna make this.
Speaker 1: My battery not died, but I have to go. Thank
Speaker 1: you for listening to the podcast. We'll be here tomorrow.
Speaker 1: Don't be cut and chick crap.