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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Jonas is Sam your og Okay Storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts. We have some great stories coming up, but

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Speaker 1: before that, we have a quick two minute break from

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Speaker 1: the sponsors that keep the show alive.

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Speaker 2: My ex made a false post about me, so I retaliated,

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Speaker 2: as you should. I was with my ex K for

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Speaker 2: two years and we've been living together for one. To

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Speaker 2: make all the drama short, I found out she was

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Speaker 2: having an affair for six months with her. Bo I

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Speaker 2: found out about it and broke up with her on

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Speaker 2: the spot, okay, didn't even try to justify or deny it.

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Speaker 2: She just moved out. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 2: Low Afternoon ninety six eighty six, and if you want

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Speaker 2: to spit your own stories, go to the r slash

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Speaker 2: Okay Storytime Separate it. I'm Sophia, I'm Angie, I'm Keon,

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Speaker 2: and we're here to get good advice goof Lee.

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Speaker 3: But we don't have all the answers.

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Speaker 2: We ali know what we do, so let us know

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Speaker 2: what you do in the comments. But here comes the

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Speaker 2: main thing in all this mess. Honestly, I wasn't expecting

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Speaker 2: her to bring our breakup to online, but she did

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Speaker 2: with the classic bs about me holding her back, how

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Speaker 2: a bright future was waiting for and all that type

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Speaker 2: of stuff. But here's my part, because the one thing

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Speaker 2: that made me mad as heck was on was one

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Speaker 2: of her posts where she said that I was treating

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Speaker 2: her badly. I have a special spot for this because

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Speaker 2: I volunteer in one of those women's centers and I

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Speaker 2: provide housing for people who experience that for real. So

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Speaker 2: you can imagine the rage and nearinger I felt when

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Speaker 2: she posted that fig bs, I simply made a post

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Speaker 2: on my page with the proof of her cheating and

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Speaker 2: tagged her directly. Well, the part I wasn't expecting comes

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Speaker 2: now because to me, for no reason, it's like the

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Speaker 2: universe decided to make my post go viral in our

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Speaker 2: community and the internet rage started under her posts. I

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Speaker 2: was expecting maybe someone calling her. In just two weeks,

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Speaker 2: her profile was full of people calling her every possible

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Speaker 2: name in the book, people wishing her the worst stuff

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Speaker 2: and all that. But Ka being k instead of doing

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Speaker 2: what normal people would do, doubled down and got even

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Speaker 2: more hate and worse stuff than I thought possible. The

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Speaker 2: cherry on top was the fact that she's now on

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Speaker 2: administray to leave because apparently herr boss tried to throw

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Speaker 2: her under the bus to save his job, and mostly

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Speaker 2: because her job's page became flooded with not so kind

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Speaker 2: comments about her, from the classic fire her to stuff

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Speaker 2: I can't even say here. And the most insane thing

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Speaker 2: happened three days ago her car was splashed by someone

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Speaker 2: not me, obviously, because I had better things to do

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Speaker 2: than worry about my cheating acts. Even her own family

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Speaker 2: started getting harassed by people on their socials.

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Speaker 3: Yesterday, she wrote me from a new number asking me to.

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Speaker 2: Delete my post, but because she couldn't keep up with

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Speaker 2: any more people insulting her on every post she made,

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Speaker 2: and the job thing was the last straw. Honestly, I

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Speaker 2: wasn't expecting all this mess. Of course, some people crossed

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Speaker 2: a line with her car, or her family and her job,

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Speaker 2: but you know what, I don't feel bad for her

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Speaker 2: at all. She knew about my work supported sporting troubled women,

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Speaker 2: and still tried to paint me as a villain by

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Speaker 2: accusing me of things she knew exactly how I felt about.

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Speaker 2: So maybe it's because it's all still fresh, but I

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Speaker 2: don't feel bad for her and have no intention of

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Speaker 2: taking down on my post, which by the way, actually

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Speaker 2: gave me fifty k followers out of nowhere. So am

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Speaker 2: I the ale for refusing to take down my post

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Speaker 2: and letting her face the consequences of her cheating.

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Speaker 3: And there are some comments. But what do you think?

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Speaker 2: Because I have some mixed thoughts about this.

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Speaker 4: I mean, I know I said in the beginning like,

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Speaker 4: as you should, but I that was just to say something.

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Speaker 4: I'd never think that revenge is like a good idea,

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Speaker 4: especially with social media stuff.

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Speaker 3: It's so icky to me.

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Speaker 4: It's just so like because because what's gonna happen is like, oh,

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Speaker 4: people are just gonna be quickly clicking through stories because

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Speaker 4: everyone's just doom scrolling, and they're just gonna be like,

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Speaker 4: oh they broke up, Oh awkward, she's saying all this stuff.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, weird.

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Speaker 3: And then they're gonna click click like and be like,

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Speaker 3: oh okay, he's saying all this stuff, click click whatever.

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Speaker 3: I even forget about it.

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Speaker 2: I just think that at the for me, I don't

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Speaker 2: think ope was the a whole Initially. I don't think

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Speaker 2: it's ever a good idea to post your you know,

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Speaker 2: all of this when you're still your baggage, when yeah,

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Speaker 2: when you're still dealing with it. I don't think it's

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Speaker 2: necessarily the best idea. I don't think I don't fault

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Speaker 2: him necessarily, Like I don't think he's an a hole

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Speaker 2: for doing it. Maybe a self a hole. But however,

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Speaker 2: at the point when she says, hey, my family, my

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Speaker 2: you know, is being attacked basically for this, yeah, I

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Speaker 2: probably would be like, I'm gonna take it down, not

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Speaker 2: for you, but for like just.

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Speaker 4: Put something in there of just being like, hey, I'm

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Speaker 4: just doing this to like save face, like and save

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Speaker 4: my reputation, but like, yeah, let's not let's not ruin.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, is he sending you know, those threats to people?

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Speaker 2: Is he doing that? No, but it is directly in

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Speaker 2: response to something he posted.

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Speaker 3: He got fifty k followers for it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Like that's definitely he's gonna attract some wild ones.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: No, So I think that I think that you've done it,

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Speaker 2: You've gotten your justice. You know, everyone knows the truth.

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Speaker 2: I think I think now I would take it down

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Speaker 2: just for the sake of her family honestly, not even

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Speaker 2: really her.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I think it's.

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Speaker 3: Been long enough.

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Speaker 2: Commoner one says ask her to post a retraction and

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Speaker 2: apology to you on her social media. She made false

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Speaker 2: statements that would threaten your job and reputation. So until

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Speaker 2: you get at least that effort. She made her bed,

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Speaker 2: she can lie in it. I think you could do

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Speaker 2: that too. Comma two says, tell her you'll consider taking

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Speaker 2: it down if she issues a full apology and retraction

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Speaker 2: to social media. Comma three says, you don't or anything.

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Speaker 2: If you want to be nice, stake it down, but

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Speaker 2: not if she's gonna lie about you again. She can

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Speaker 2: certainly delete her social media and not deal with.

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Speaker 3: Any of this anymore.

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Speaker 2: It's probably the best idea for her now. If you

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Speaker 2: want to work with her, I would say you can

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Speaker 2: take your post down since it's already done its job.

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Speaker 2: But she needs to make a post admitting that she

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Speaker 2: lied about you. If she's going to tarnish your rep

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Speaker 2: she has to be the one to clear it before

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Speaker 2: you take your post down.

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Speaker 3: There is an.

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Speaker 2: Update five days later. Here's the update on how things

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Speaker 2: ended up. And I really hope to post again about

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Speaker 2: more funny and better stuff than all this drama. In

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Speaker 2: the last post, I talked about my ax texting me

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Speaker 2: to delete the post and end all the charade or

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Speaker 2: shrod and the end we came to an agreement. The

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Speaker 2: agreement is extremely simple. She makes a public post on

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Speaker 2: her page in which she honestly tells the truth about

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Speaker 2: how art relationship ended and takes full accountability for her

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Speaker 2: false accusations or allegations. And then and only then I

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Speaker 2: take down my post.

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Speaker 3: Three days ago.

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Speaker 2: She agreed and she did. Actually under that post, she

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Speaker 2: got more hate than before, but that's not my problem

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Speaker 2: and I did the same about.

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Speaker 3: All this mess.

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Speaker 2: I have to say that in these last two days

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Speaker 2: after her apology post, like I call it, this situation

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Speaker 2: has calmed down pretty naturally, but she still receives hate

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Speaker 2: on this part. I have to say that before deleting

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Speaker 2: my post, I made it clear that insulting my ex

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Speaker 2: and wishing her a bad fate wasn't normal, so to

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Speaker 2: please stop all this shrad and respect her apologies. So

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Speaker 2: until now, her profile went from two k comments to

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Speaker 2: almost five hundred, and like I said, almost all not

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Speaker 2: exactly come. But the situation is getting better, and I

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Speaker 2: think it's because people got tired of the drama and

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Speaker 2: something moved on to another one.

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Speaker 3: Do you have any final thoughts? I think you did

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Speaker 3: it well.

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Speaker 4: I mean, you know, the internet's a QUIZI bliss and

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Speaker 4: people get crazy.

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Speaker 3: On the internet. Ye, pab me crazy. It's just the

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Speaker 3: old thing.

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Speaker 5: I mean people, it's just people just need to chill

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Speaker 5: out in those situations they don't know about You think

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Speaker 5: you know about it because people are telling you, but

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Speaker 5: it's it's I think there's a big difference between or

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Speaker 5: I don't know.

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Speaker 4: I have my theories about how the Internet works and

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Speaker 4: people's mindsets. Like I kind of think it's like we're

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Speaker 4: so used to TV shows and if if there's drama

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Speaker 4: and a TV show.

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Speaker 2: We need it to be solved, right, Yeah, and you

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Speaker 2: immediately make like a snap judgment when you're watching it, yeah, show,

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Speaker 2: because that's that's all you get.

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Speaker 4: Like the small information that you're given is supposed to

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Speaker 4: tell you everything you know. But and I think we're

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Speaker 4: so used to that, so then when we see this

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Speaker 4: stuff online, it doesn't feel real.

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Speaker 3: And I feel like these are complicated human lives, but they.

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Speaker 4: Are, and so we still think, like, you know, uh,

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Speaker 4: this that we this must be all the information that's important,

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Speaker 4: and then we react on that. Yeah, and I'm gonna

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Speaker 4: need to go to the bathroom really fast.

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Speaker 2: I'll talk more about that. Yeah, yeah, I think that

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Speaker 2: I agree with that completely. I think oftentimes people make

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Speaker 2: snap judgments about celebrities or just people that we see

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Speaker 2: online when you really don't know anything about them, then

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Speaker 2: like this, this the barest minimum snapshot of their life,

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Speaker 2: which is why I feel like whenever I hear drama

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Speaker 2: about people, I always try to take it with a

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Speaker 2: grain of salt.

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Speaker 6: There's the three sides of the story. It's yeah, side A,

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Speaker 6: side B, and then the truth kind of thing. This

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Speaker 6: This one's it's because what she posted was really.

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Speaker 3: Really bad exactly.

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Speaker 6: This one was yeah, very much so, yeah, this is

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Speaker 6: like a little honestly, it's not really I would say, great,

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Speaker 6: it's more black and white here where it's like, hey,

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Speaker 6: you posted that and that's not good. And I don't

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Speaker 6: know why I come on like, but does she.

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Speaker 2: Deserve threats against her life or threats against her family?

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Speaker 3: No?

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Speaker 2: I guess my My advice is careful what you post online,

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Speaker 2: and also careful how you're reacting to other people's drama

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Speaker 2: that you see online, because you really I feel like

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Speaker 2: I always see people like jumping on the bandwagon whenever

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Speaker 2: you like on TikTok, I'll be scrolling and then I'll

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Speaker 2: see some drama about like some celebrity, and everyone in

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Speaker 2: the comments is like, I always knew that he, like

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Speaker 2: that person was the worst. I always knew that, Like,

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Speaker 2: I never liked that.

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Speaker 6: And it's before anything like any truth comes out, or

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Speaker 6: that that person has like responded, or like there's actually

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Speaker 6: exactly roof. Yeah, I get that.

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Speaker 2: In the last post, someone talked about a lawsuit for defamation,

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Speaker 2: and you're absolutely right, But I just didn't have any

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Speaker 2: intention or energy for something like that. I just wanted

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Speaker 2: it to disappear faster than I could. And for the

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Speaker 2: last point, someone asked me if I resis her for

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Speaker 2: all of this mess, but actually I don't, but I

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Speaker 2: feel for her is just pity and disappointment. The internet

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Speaker 2: rage did the rest, even if I obviously don't approve

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Speaker 2: of the hate and all the extreme parts. So that's it,

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Speaker 2: and I really hope to not update you anymore about

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Speaker 2: all of this mess. And a common one says, sounds

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Speaker 2: like she didn't have shame to begin with, so all's well,

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Speaker 2: that ends well, But that's the.

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Speaker 3: End of that story.

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Speaker 1: My girlfriend's grandparents kept calling me the wrong name, so

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Speaker 1: I dumped her.

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Speaker 2: They probably don't even know that you dumped her then.

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Speaker 1: I twenty two male and my girlfriend twenty two female

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Speaker 1: have been together for almost two years now. We met

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Speaker 1: during fresher's week at university and found out we were

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Speaker 1: studying the same course. Our relationship has been running smoothly

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Speaker 1: and we rarely argue. The one problem that we have

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Speaker 1: is to do with her best friend. Who will call

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Speaker 1: Alex twenty three male. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 1: user mesmer and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 1: go to the art Slashoky story time subburd it. I'm Dakota,

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Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, I'm Keon, but here to give you a

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Speaker 1: little bit of good of ask Goofley. We don't have

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Speaker 1: all the answers. We only know what we'd do, so

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Speaker 1: if you do something else, let us know in the comments.

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Speaker 1: Alex has been around for longer than I have. He's

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Speaker 1: known my girlfriend for around four years now and they

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Speaker 1: attended high school together. I initially had no problem with

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Speaker 1: Alex until he started making fun of my appearance and accent.

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Speaker 1: For context, I'm not a bad looking guy. I'm five

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Speaker 1: to ten and have a decent build. I've been working

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Speaker 1: out for just over half a year now and have

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Speaker 1: good facial features. Alex has pointed out small things like

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Speaker 1: the shape of my eyebrows, the way my hair gets

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Speaker 1: messy because I have longer hair that regularly gets tangled up,

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Speaker 1: and in my accent. I'm Slavic and English is not

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Speaker 1: my first language. For the most part, my girlfriend has

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Speaker 1: defended me and called Alex out on his bs, but

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Speaker 1: sometimes she'll laugh at the things he says, particularly when

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Speaker 1: he makes fun of my accent. This bothers me a lot,

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Speaker 1: as I struggled with my English for a few months

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Speaker 1: before passing my ELTs and struggled to fit in when

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Speaker 1: I moved here. I've brought this up to her and

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Speaker 1: she apologizes, but continues to do so to the issue,

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Speaker 1: my girlfriend and I recently went to visit her grandparents

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Speaker 1: for the weekend. They are a pretty big part of

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Speaker 1: my girlfriend's life. She was raised by them as well

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Speaker 1: as her parents, and this was my first time meeting them.

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Speaker 1: Her grandmother opened the door, greeted me with a hug,

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Speaker 1: and proceeded to say, Alex, we've heard all about you.

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Speaker 1: I instantly assume it was just a mistake. Her grandma's old,

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Speaker 1: so maybe it was a memory thing. And I corrected

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Speaker 1: her and told her my name. She frowned and shook

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Speaker 1: her head, sure that it couldn't be correct. The dinner

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Speaker 1: was a bit awkward, as both her grandparents kept referring

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Speaker 1: to me as Alex. My girlfriend kept on correcting them,

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Speaker 1: and they looked confused. After the dinner, I politely asked

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Speaker 1: my girlfriend why they continued to mix me up with Alex.

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Speaker 1: She blew up on me, telling me they're old and

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Speaker 1: struggle with memory loss. I apologized, explaining I didn't mean

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Speaker 1: to insult anybody. I just wanted to know why they

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Speaker 1: continued to refer to me as Alex even after correction.

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Speaker 1: We left it at that and spent the night watching

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Speaker 1: movies at her grandparents that they enjoyed. I was setting

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Speaker 1: up the bed in the spare room for me and

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Speaker 1: my girlfriend when I overheard her grandmother and her talking.

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Speaker 1: My girlfriend was talking in a hushed tone about Alex.

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Speaker 1: I would leave already. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I feel like she told the grandparents that she was

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Speaker 2: dating Alex, and that's why they keep mixing it up. Yes,

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Speaker 2: they're like, no, but her boyfriend Alex.

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Speaker 1: Her grandmother kept asking why she hadn't brought Alex alawng

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Speaker 1: like she said she would. I couldn't hear my girlfriend

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Speaker 1: very well, but she told her grandmother something came up

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Speaker 1: so she had to bring me instead. I was surprised,

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Speaker 1: as we had this trip planned for a couple of

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Speaker 1: weeks beforehand. I heard her grandmother asking how Alex was

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Speaker 1: doing and when they'd get to see him again. I

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Speaker 1: am really confused. I asked my girlfriend about it in bed,

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Speaker 1: and she insisted that her grandmother just struggled with memory

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Speaker 1: loss and didn't know what she was saying. I asked

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Speaker 1: if she had planned to bring Alex to her grandparents,

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Speaker 1: and if so, I would have had no problem with

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Speaker 1: it if she had simply let me know. She blew

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Speaker 1: up on me again, insisting I didn't understand her relationship

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Speaker 1: with Alex. She called me a few petty names and

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Speaker 1: told me to sleep on the pull out couch. I

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Speaker 1: am breaking up with this person instantaneous.

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Speaker 2: She's hiding something, and I think it's that she's dating Alex.

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Speaker 1: She's double dipping.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, if she's laughing every time he jokes at your expense, feel.

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Speaker 6: Like the new She's probably, But then why did ope?

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Speaker 6: I mean, why did she bring opee to meet her grandparents?

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Speaker 1: Because she's a sick, twisted little shreak.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what she's doing, man, I don't know

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Speaker 2: what her plan is.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean it's like a, I get it, they're

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Speaker 6: they're older like a couple A couple of times makes sense,

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Speaker 6: But it's like I would make it prolific, like hey.

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Speaker 2: My name is not Alex?

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Speaker 6: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: What like Hi?

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Speaker 6: I'd be like, hey, guys, I'm my name's not Alex.

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Speaker 6: My name's this. What's A Can we get that clear?

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Speaker 6: I mean, what's Alex?

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Speaker 1: I reluctantly agreed to sleep on the pull out couch

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Speaker 1: and late awake all night thinking about the conversation. Since then,

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Speaker 1: my girlfriend has been more irritable and nothing I say

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Speaker 1: her want to talk to me. She's been calling Alex

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Speaker 1: regularly and refusing to tell me why she's so upset.

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Speaker 1: This is deeply confusing me, as I didn't come across

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Speaker 1: as insulting in any way. I've considered breaking up with

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Speaker 1: her a couple of times, as this behavior is completely

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Speaker 1: out of the blue, and her refusal to communicate properly

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Speaker 1: is worrying me. Any advice would I be the a

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Speaker 1: hole if I broke up with her, No, dude, break

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Speaker 1: up with her.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, genuinely, she's making fun of you. She's being the

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Speaker 2: secret of with Alex. She's letting her grandparents call you.

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Speaker 2: Alex's blowing up you about.

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Speaker 3: Her grandparents not remembering your name.

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Speaker 6: Too much, too much, too much disrespect. Op you know

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Speaker 6: when to draw the line.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not making you feel good.

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Speaker 1: There's an edda. Thank you for the replies and helping

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Speaker 1: me realize that this was never just about what her

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Speaker 1: grandparents have said. My girlfriend's behavior is unacceptable and I

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Speaker 1: will be having a talk with her tomorrow, which will

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Speaker 1: ultimately end in splitting up with her. I will post

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Speaker 1: a short update tomorrow for anyone who's interested. Here's the

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Speaker 1: update for context. About a day ago, I wrote a

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Speaker 1: post explaining that I had gone to meet my girlfriend's

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Speaker 1: grandparents and they kept calling me Alex, which is her

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Speaker 1: boy best friend's name. Upon asking my girlfriend about it,

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Speaker 1: she got defensive and has refused to speak to me since.

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Speaker 1: My girlfriend got off work early and messaged me asking

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Speaker 1: to come pick her up. This is the first time

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Speaker 1: she's messaged me first in days. I agreed and drove

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Speaker 1: to go pick her up. I waited in the customer section.

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Speaker 1: She works in a bakery, and I noticed some of

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Speaker 1: her coworkers giving me dirty looks. I brushed it off.

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Speaker 1: When she got out, she was quiet. She got in

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Speaker 1: my car with a huff and then asked if I

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Speaker 1: could drive her to Alex's place, as he and some

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Speaker 1: other friends were having a small gathering there. I admit

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Speaker 1: this annoyed me. I told her flat out we needed

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Speaker 1: to talk and asked her if she wanted to go

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Speaker 1: to my place to do so. She told me anything

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Speaker 1: I had to say, I could say it now, so

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Speaker 1: that's what I did. I told her that her behavior

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Speaker 1: over the past few days had been unacceptable, her refusal

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Speaker 1: to talk to me, and how she blew up at

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Speaker 1: me for just asking simple questions. This is where the

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Speaker 1: conversation got weird. She told me that her grandparents had

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Speaker 1: been waiting to meet Alex and that's why they got confused.

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Speaker 1: Much different from her loss of memory excuse in my

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00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:11,440
Speaker 1: earlier post. I asked her why she didn't just tell

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Speaker 1: me that. She told me I wouldn't understand because I

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Speaker 1: don't understand her relationship with Alex.

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Speaker 3: I don't believe you it's just like such a cop out.

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00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, because it's like, if I don't understand, why make

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Speaker 1: me they were.

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Speaker 2: They wanted to I told them that they were going

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Speaker 2: to meet Alex, and they really wanted to meet Alex.

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Speaker 2: So why didn't you tell me that you wouldn't understand?

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00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:31,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, you just wouldn't get it. I think I think

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Speaker 1: I'm starting to understand your relationship with Alex actually pretty well.

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Speaker 2: I think it's starting to become pretty clear, Crystal.

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00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:40,520
Speaker 1: I told her that, yes, I do not understand her

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Speaker 1: relationship with Alex, how she lets him insult me, and

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Speaker 1: how she carries on defending him. She told me that

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Speaker 1: people over here make fun of each other, and I

395
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Speaker 1: wouldn't understand because my culture is different. She theys Slavic

396
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:53,439
Speaker 1: people don't make fun of people, They got no jokes.

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Speaker 2: Well, I think they're like, I mean, you know, depending

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Speaker 2: on the culture, like you know, like Germans are known

399
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Speaker 2: to be more straightforward.

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Speaker 6: And they had their humors a little bit more.

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Speaker 7: Yah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I just mean that the concept of like, well

403
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Speaker 1: we make fun of people here, No? Yeah, did they

404
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:08,919
Speaker 1: make fun of people everywhere exactly?

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Speaker 2: My point is like, yeah, there are differences in culture. However,

406
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Speaker 2: you are just being a bully and mean and lying.

407
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:19,080
Speaker 1: I told her, regardless of my culture, I wouldn't tolerate

408
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:21,480
Speaker 1: that disrespect from her friend, and the lying has led

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Speaker 1: me to believe she's no longer trustworthy. I told her

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Speaker 1: I'd given her zero reasons to lie to me. She

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00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:29,080
Speaker 1: started crying and promising me that nothing was going on

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Speaker 1: between her and Alex. I was stunned, as this wasn't

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Speaker 1: what I was implying at all. I asked her why

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00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:38,200
Speaker 1: she had said that, and she broke down and admitted

415
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Speaker 1: that Alex had been pressuring her to leave me for

416
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Speaker 1: months now, saying she deserved someone better than me. At

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Speaker 1: this point, I was done. I don't need this kind

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Speaker 1: of drama. I told her to get out of my

419
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Speaker 1: car and that we're done. She was crying and begged

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Speaker 1: me not to leave her. Promised she'd cut Alex out

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Speaker 1: of her life, and promised that their relationship was nothing

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Speaker 1: but friendship. I said, I didn't care and wanted no

423
00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:04,920
Speaker 1: part in this anymore. Strangely, it didn't really feel sad

424
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:09,040
Speaker 1: ending the relationship. I actually felt pretty numb. Her attitude

425
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:12,960
Speaker 1: suddenly shifted. She told me I just didn't understand and

426
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:15,639
Speaker 1: that Alex was right and she should have left me sooner,

427
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:17,959
Speaker 1: et cetera. Yeah, dude, no, you you the reason your

428
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:21,640
Speaker 1: numb is because you feel nothing for this girl as

429
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,479
Speaker 1: you should. You just realize, oh, she's just I mean,

430
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:26,399
Speaker 1: after the way that she's been treating you for like

431
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Speaker 1: the last however long months it seems.

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Speaker 6: But also Opie's been kind ofly kind of mentally ready

433
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,240
Speaker 6: for this, because he did say, like, I've been kind

434
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:37,240
Speaker 6: of wanting to break up with.

435
00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:40,359
Speaker 1: Her before, yeah, many several times.

436
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Speaker 6: So like I think you just like, all right, I

437
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:43,440
Speaker 6: finally did it.

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Speaker 1: It's just crazy that, dude. You know how many times

439
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:48,000
Speaker 1: I'd be hanging out with a girl who told me

440
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:50,800
Speaker 1: I need to dump my girlfriend because I deserve someone

441
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:51,439
Speaker 1: better than her.

442
00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:52,320
Speaker 3: Not anymore.

443
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:55,080
Speaker 1: I'd be hanging out with zero zero times.

444
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:59,360
Speaker 2: Zero ut boyfriend hang out me. I'd say, I don't

445
00:19:59,359 --> 00:19:59,840
Speaker 2: want to hang out.

446
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,920
Speaker 1: Who are now? Yeah, and I'm not going to dump

447
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,560
Speaker 1: my boyfriend. I just told her to get out of

448
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,800
Speaker 1: the car. She was still crying, and she slammed the

449
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:09,200
Speaker 1: door pretty hard and stormed off. Now she's texting me

450
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:12,119
Speaker 1: apologizing and promising we can work this out. I've had

451
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:15,520
Speaker 1: a couple texts from mutual friends asking what happened as

452
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:18,240
Speaker 1: my girlfriend sent them text calling me controlling and toxic.

453
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,200
Speaker 1: Why would she want to get back together with me

454
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:22,960
Speaker 1: if she's telling our friends that because she is unwell?

455
00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:25,639
Speaker 1: My brother, I put my phone on do not disturb,

456
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:27,840
Speaker 1: and I am now writing this update. I don't feel

457
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:29,920
Speaker 1: sad right now, but maybe that's because I'm in shock.

458
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:32,159
Speaker 1: I wrote this update for the people who gave me

459
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,959
Speaker 1: the courage to leave this relationship. Thank you for all

460
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,960
Speaker 1: your advice. And that is the end of that story.

461
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:41,080
Speaker 2: My best friend flirted with my ex right as we

462
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:41,960
Speaker 2: were reconnecting.

463
00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:44,040
Speaker 1: Good Why are you reconnecting with your ex?

464
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:47,200
Speaker 2: My new partner thirty two female and I thirty mail

465
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:50,720
Speaker 2: just started seeing each other. For a bit of backstory,

466
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,840
Speaker 2: we were dating ten years ago when I was twenty

467
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,879
Speaker 2: for a few months. She insisted the whole time that

468
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,560
Speaker 2: we weren't actually dating, and I had a few rocky moments,

469
00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:00,720
Speaker 2: like her ghosting me and living me at a bar

470
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:03,320
Speaker 2: with a few of her friends while she left with

471
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:05,719
Speaker 2: others and had me trying to chase her around all night.

472
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:08,000
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Time Hurry eighty four

473
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,439
Speaker 2: to seventy nine and if you want to submit your

474
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:12,080
Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subarated it.

475
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:14,639
Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, I'm Keon.

476
00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:16,240
Speaker 2: And we're here to give good advice youfully, but we

477
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,600
Speaker 2: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,

478
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:20,399
Speaker 2: So let us know what you would do in the comments,

479
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:24,440
Speaker 2: and Opie says she inevitably ended things with me, saying

480
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:27,719
Speaker 2: that she just wanted to have fun and enjoy being single,

481
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,920
Speaker 2: that I was too young and inexperienced, and the age

482
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:34,200
Speaker 2: gap bothered her two years. He then proceeded to start

483
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:36,720
Speaker 2: a relationship with somebody else a few weeks after that,

484
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:39,520
Speaker 2: and they dated for a year. We were friends still

485
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:42,240
Speaker 2: and things were amicable for the most part, but there

486
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,280
Speaker 2: was always this energy between us every time that we

487
00:21:45,359 --> 00:21:48,000
Speaker 2: saw each other. But every time we saw each other,

488
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:50,399
Speaker 2: she was in a relationship with someone, so I was

489
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:53,719
Speaker 2: always holding back and was reserved every time we did

490
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:57,160
Speaker 2: see each other after that, Just a bit of information

491
00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:00,119
Speaker 2: before I fast forward. I work on a ship in

492
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:02,960
Speaker 2: the ocean, and I am gone for a month at

493
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,680
Speaker 2: a time, so dating is usually very hard and the

494
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:08,880
Speaker 2: most contact I can have really is texting in photos.

495
00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:12,560
Speaker 2: So fast forward to about two months ago. She was

496
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:17,080
Speaker 2: in an eight year relationship that was falling apart, still

497
00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:19,280
Speaker 2: living with their partner as they had a lease together,

498
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:21,840
Speaker 2: but she was slowly trying to get out of the

499
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:25,600
Speaker 2: relationship and living together since he is incredibly self absorbed.

500
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:29,040
Speaker 2: She posted a snap story about her dog running around

501
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:31,000
Speaker 2: in the park and I made a comment about how

502
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:33,640
Speaker 2: cute the dog was and saying I wish I could

503
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:37,240
Speaker 2: have one. Obviously I can't because of my work, she replied,

504
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:41,040
Speaker 2: and we started to catch up. She playfully joked around

505
00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:44,080
Speaker 2: about us getting together since I had just gotten out

506
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:46,600
Speaker 2: of relationship a few months prior and she was done

507
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:49,840
Speaker 2: with her relationship, but they weren't actually separated. She just

508
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:52,600
Speaker 2: wanted out but couldn't get out as she couldn't afford

509
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:54,120
Speaker 2: a place of her own and still had to wait

510
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,080
Speaker 2: out the lease. I was on the ship at this point,

511
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:59,440
Speaker 2: and we ended up talking every day until I was home.

512
00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:02,680
Speaker 2: A couple weeks before I got home, she ended things

513
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:05,880
Speaker 2: with them, and they were basically just roommates. She told

514
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,160
Speaker 2: me they had and had spicy sleep in five months

515
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:10,520
Speaker 2: at this point, and she had no interest in sleeping

516
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:14,040
Speaker 2: with him anymore. He slept on the couch and she

517
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:16,960
Speaker 2: slept in the bed. He worked nights and she worked days.

518
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:20,000
Speaker 2: When I got home, she came over for the weekend

519
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:22,840
Speaker 2: and to my house and we spent the whole weekend together.

520
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:25,840
Speaker 2: The first night she came over, we had a few drinks,

521
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:29,960
Speaker 2: played Mario Kart, and watched TV, and eventually had spicy

522
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:32,960
Speaker 2: sleep on the couch. This is the first time we

523
00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:36,399
Speaker 2: have ever had spicy sleep. We had spicy sleep a

524
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:39,200
Speaker 2: few more times that weekend, and then she went back

525
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:42,040
Speaker 2: to her apartment with the Rex. Later that week, the

526
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:47,240
Speaker 2: relationship completely exploded and things were volatile, and he finally

527
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:50,600
Speaker 2: got the hint that they were completely done the next weekend.

528
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:53,119
Speaker 2: After that, I invited over a bunch of people for

529
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:56,320
Speaker 2: a bonfire and camping out in my backyard. A few

530
00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:59,280
Speaker 2: people said no, and others bailed last minute, leaving only me,

531
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:03,399
Speaker 2: her and my best friend. It was raining on and

532
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:06,560
Speaker 2: off all weekend and was close to freezing out every night,

533
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:08,800
Speaker 2: so he had the fires and just slept inside. On

534
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:11,399
Speaker 2: the first night, they both smoked they were outside and

535
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:14,359
Speaker 2: he tried making a move on her. She said that

536
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:16,720
Speaker 2: she shut him down and that nothing happened between them,

537
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:19,560
Speaker 2: but he was still flirting Friday night and Sunday night.

538
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,080
Speaker 2: She gave him her phone number Friday night, and he

539
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,800
Speaker 2: texts her all the time and makes comments like it's

540
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:27,600
Speaker 2: unfair that he has you and I don't, or I

541
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,160
Speaker 2: wish it was me waking you up like that because

542
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:33,040
Speaker 2: he apparently heard us Saturday morning, so he turned on

543
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:35,560
Speaker 2: the speaker and played random two thousand pop hits to

544
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:39,399
Speaker 2: drown us out and was singing to them again. Opie, Uh,

545
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:41,320
Speaker 2: I feel like you were placing a lot of the

546
00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:44,240
Speaker 2: blame on your friend, which you should, because that's a

547
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:47,600
Speaker 2: weird move for your friend to do. But you're this

548
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:53,359
Speaker 2: girl is entertaining him by not only getting his number,

549
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:57,720
Speaker 2: but like seemingly kind of responding just.

550
00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:01,000
Speaker 1: And he let her go, brother, Yeah, let her go.

551
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,040
Speaker 1: There are plenty of other fish in the See. This

552
00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:06,400
Speaker 1: woman is not the love of your life. This woman

553
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:08,040
Speaker 1: is not the girl of your dreams.

554
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:10,120
Speaker 2: This woman is not ready for any sort of relationship.

555
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:13,440
Speaker 1: Right, just just move It's time to move forward.

556
00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:14,720
Speaker 8: Help How hot is she?

557
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:17,000
Speaker 3: I need to know she got to be so she

558
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:17,920
Speaker 3: waited ten years.

559
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:20,520
Speaker 1: Also, if you talk about this this energy, that you'll

560
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:24,200
Speaker 1: have it's not. It might just be on your side,

561
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:26,639
Speaker 1: or it might be you're seeing it as one thing

562
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,920
Speaker 1: and she's seeing it as another. Just let it go

563
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:30,480
Speaker 1: unless if you're cool.

564
00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:32,560
Speaker 6: I don't know, man, Unless if you're just like, I

565
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:35,440
Speaker 6: want to do this really casually and like, but it

566
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:37,000
Speaker 6: doesn't seem like you want to do anything casually with

567
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:37,360
Speaker 6: this girl.

568
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:39,520
Speaker 1: No, this is like a I waited ten years and

569
00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:41,399
Speaker 1: this was meant to be. Don't do that.

570
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:44,560
Speaker 2: Ask forward to next weekend. I bought a hotel for

571
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:48,320
Speaker 2: our friends Halloween party. The weekend before Halloween. We had

572
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:50,320
Speaker 2: a few friends over at the hotel before we went

573
00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:52,639
Speaker 2: to the party to have a few drinks, and she

574
00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:55,520
Speaker 2: told my one close friend that all this happened. She

575
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:58,399
Speaker 2: told my partner that if she doesn't tell me that

576
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:01,800
Speaker 2: all this happened, she would, So that night she told

577
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:04,600
Speaker 2: me about it for the first time. She downplayed everything

578
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:06,360
Speaker 2: and made it seem like not a big deal while

579
00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:08,920
Speaker 2: they were still texting every day and he was still flirting. Okay,

580
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:13,600
Speaker 2: so I see, So Opie's friend finds out that this

581
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:16,600
Speaker 2: girl that oh he's talking to has been texting, flirting

582
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:21,959
Speaker 2: all what not with the guy. Uh and has been

583
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 2: kind of downplaying all of this for Ope, so Op

584
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:27,800
Speaker 2: just thought that, oh, he asked for your number and

585
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:30,520
Speaker 2: that's it, and you rejected them, and that's it.

586
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:32,560
Speaker 1: She's gonna keep lying to you.

587
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:34,320
Speaker 3: Because she's not ready for a relationship.

588
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:36,880
Speaker 2: She refused to show me any text between them after

589
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,520
Speaker 2: I asked to see them the party we were going to.

590
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:41,719
Speaker 2: We were going to act like we were just friends

591
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 2: so that nothing got back to her ex about seeing

592
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:46,760
Speaker 2: someone new or that it was me. But she told

593
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:49,160
Speaker 2: the few people and everyone at the party already knew

594
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:52,280
Speaker 2: we were together anyways. I didn't know this until later

595
00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:54,720
Speaker 2: in the night, and I wasn't actively avoiding her. I

596
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:56,840
Speaker 2: was just doing my own thing, being solo at the

597
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:58,960
Speaker 2: party and talking to other people and trying to have

598
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:01,440
Speaker 2: a good time. She spent the rest of the night

599
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:04,720
Speaker 2: doing various substances and partying with her other friends and

600
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:08,200
Speaker 2: got mad at me consistently for avoiding her while I

601
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:10,200
Speaker 2: was just talking to friends I haven't seen in a

602
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:12,720
Speaker 2: long time and catching up and having a good time,

603
00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:17,600
Speaker 2: and she was doing substances and just never around me

604
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:19,800
Speaker 2: at the same time, because I don't do that stuff.

605
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:23,719
Speaker 1: I'm casting the spell of moving on upon the Please

606
00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:30,720
Speaker 1: please halakasi hala Cassa. First it was she, now she

607
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:31,680
Speaker 1: is nah.

608
00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:34,400
Speaker 3: Please please let the spell take.

609
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:37,920
Speaker 2: You need to not be with this girl who is

610
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:41,520
Speaker 2: not over her ex or her eight year relationship and

611
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,840
Speaker 2: is not ready for a new relationship, and you deserve

612
00:27:45,119 --> 00:27:46,800
Speaker 2: better and someone who is ready for that.

613
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:49,679
Speaker 1: She's trying to enter her hot girl phase.

614
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:52,040
Speaker 2: I feel like I know that this relationship is over,

615
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:54,600
Speaker 2: but I can't bring myself to end things or to

616
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:56,840
Speaker 2: confront my best friend, who I haven't talked to in

617
00:27:56,920 --> 00:27:58,960
Speaker 2: a couple of weeks. I really just don't want to

618
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:01,280
Speaker 2: talk about what they're doing, and wants space from both

619
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 2: of them, but don't really know how to go about

620
00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:05,359
Speaker 2: doing it. I'm back at work also, and won't be

621
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:06,360
Speaker 2: home until December.

622
00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:08,040
Speaker 3: Uh, and at it.

623
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,160
Speaker 2: She moved out of the apartment a few days ago.

624
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:14,520
Speaker 2: Comment one says you are her rebound. Also sounds like

625
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:18,000
Speaker 2: she just bounces from relationship to relationship. Are you sure

626
00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:20,120
Speaker 2: you want to be in a relationship with someone who's

627
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:23,400
Speaker 2: basically dating you, not telling anyone because of her ex,

628
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:29,879
Speaker 2: and entertains your best friends spicy text behind your back. Also,

629
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:33,119
Speaker 2: he's not your friend. Best friends don't spicy text your

630
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:36,159
Speaker 2: girlfriend behind your back. You don't need to confront him.

631
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:37,240
Speaker 2: He knows what he's done.

632
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:38,040
Speaker 3: Ghost him.

633
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:41,320
Speaker 2: He's not even worth your breath. Opie says, Yeah, I

634
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:43,480
Speaker 2: don't think she's ever been single for more than a

635
00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 2: few months at a time. I do kind of feel

636
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:47,800
Speaker 2: like a rebound, but she's always a shirt me that

637
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 2: it's not the case. Well, she's lying, but it feels

638
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:53,160
Speaker 2: like I am more and more. I basically already have

639
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:55,520
Speaker 2: ghosted him. I haven't talked to him since I found

640
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:58,360
Speaker 2: out he's been doing it, other than one incredibly awkward

641
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:01,600
Speaker 2: weekend where we play video games together while she was

642
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 2: over because she told me I should and that she doesn't.

643
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:06,080
Speaker 3: Want to break up our friendship.

644
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,600
Speaker 2: But he never really put much effort into our friendship.

645
00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:12,280
Speaker 2: And now that I'm ghosting him, he actually sends me

646
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:15,960
Speaker 2: memes and snaps and stuff. Reply, she's not going to

647
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 2: admit you're to your face that you are a rebound.

648
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:21,160
Speaker 2: Considering that she is still living with her ex and

649
00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:23,000
Speaker 2: going out of her way to hide it from him,

650
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 2: it almost makes it worse than a rebound. She couldn't

651
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:29,520
Speaker 2: even wait until they fully separated. I mean, she put

652
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:32,320
Speaker 2: feelers out to you while still with them, and know

653
00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:35,360
Speaker 2: it doesn't matter if they were emotionally and physically done,

654
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:39,280
Speaker 2: they were still together. Also, when you take that and

655
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:42,520
Speaker 2: consider how she's behaving with your friend now, I would

656
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:45,480
Speaker 2: question how toxic her ex was or whether he was

657
00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:50,080
Speaker 2: reacting to her sketchy behavior with friends. She did ruin

658
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:53,680
Speaker 2: the friendship they both did. She won't show you because

659
00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 2: she no doubt returned his advances, and there probably is

660
00:29:56,560 --> 00:30:00,560
Speaker 2: an additional photo evidence he's reaching out because he feels

661
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:02,320
Speaker 2: guilty and can feel you pulling away.

662
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:03,320
Speaker 1: Ignore it.

663
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 2: F that guy OP says, that makes a lot of sense. Yeah,

664
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 2: why would you be honest about rebounding? Lol? I forgot

665
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:12,880
Speaker 2: to add that she did move out of her apartment

666
00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:16,520
Speaker 2: and she's in her friend's separate basement apartment.

667
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:17,320
Speaker 1: Yeah.

668
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:19,720
Speaker 2: I kind of wonder that now as well. Like even

669
00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 2: her best friend told me that she just loves attention

670
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:24,960
Speaker 2: and if I don't give her enough, she'll seek it elsewhere.

671
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:28,400
Speaker 2: But I feel like she crossed a line even giving

672
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:32,680
Speaker 2: my friend her number and texting him in general. Yeah,

673
00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:35,520
Speaker 2: that's probably why she won't. She said it's because he

674
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:38,240
Speaker 2: said personal things and text to her, which why would

675
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:40,640
Speaker 2: you send stuff like that that early to someone you

676
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:41,240
Speaker 2: don't even.

677
00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:45,120
Speaker 1: Know, because that's your vibe right now, You're like, I'm

678
00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:49,120
Speaker 1: in my I don't care, I'm gonna share the era.

679
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:55,960
Speaker 1: I'm being. I'm being risky. Eight years whatever it eight years.

680
00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:59,200
Speaker 6: Time to just make that up, right now, make up

681
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:02,680
Speaker 6: all those eight years in days, months, whatever I need.

682
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:05,480
Speaker 1: She is the embodiment of like the ah ah.

683
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:08,760
Speaker 2: And that he said some things that would hurt me,

684
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:12,240
Speaker 2: which again is another huge red flag. Yeah, I think

685
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:14,880
Speaker 2: this is probably the case. Just talking about this and

686
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:18,200
Speaker 2: trying to rationalize everything as making me realize how dumb

687
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:21,360
Speaker 2: and ignorant I'm being. I feel like I try way

688
00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:23,520
Speaker 2: too hard to make things work when I know deep

689
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:28,400
Speaker 2: down they won't. And that's the end of that story. Hey,

690
00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:28,960
Speaker 2: it's Sam.

691
00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:31,120
Speaker 1: We'll get back to the stories. But here's three minutes

692
00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:32,080
Speaker 1: of ads from our sponsors.

693
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:36,040
Speaker 7: My wife cheated and begged to see her a fair partner,

694
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:37,400
Speaker 7: so I told her to leave.

695
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, go find your a fair partner.

696
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 7: My wife and I have been married eight years together

697
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:46,040
Speaker 7: a few years longer in total, and have two small kids.

698
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:47,760
Speaker 8: This year has been tough.

699
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:50,480
Speaker 7: But we have had our arguments, but nothing that I

700
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:53,280
Speaker 7: would ever think would push my wife to cheat. By

701
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:56,720
Speaker 7: the way, this comes from Apprehensive Costs four nine to six.

702
00:31:56,800 --> 00:31:58,480
Speaker 7: And if you ask to me your own stories, go

703
00:31:58,560 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 7: to the r slash Okay story time step.

704
00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:01,160
Speaker 8: I'm Carly and.

705
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:04,240
Speaker 3: I'm Angie and we're here to give good advice.

706
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:07,360
Speaker 7: Goofully, But we don't have all the answers. We only

707
00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:09,320
Speaker 7: know what we would do, So let us know what

708
00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 7: you would do.

709
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:10,440
Speaker 8: In the comments.

710
00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:15,280
Speaker 7: Anyways, I noticed her lately being distant and uncommunicative and

711
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:18,680
Speaker 7: decided to confront her one evening. At that time, she

712
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:21,880
Speaker 7: said she was not happy and couldn't feel spark anymore.

713
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:25,720
Speaker 7: At first, I freaked out on myself, thinking I was

714
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:29,640
Speaker 7: being a non attentive husband, truthfully an issue. However, the

715
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:32,840
Speaker 7: next day I caught a very strange message on her

716
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:36,720
Speaker 7: phone that was extremely lovey dovey. I took a look

717
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:39,800
Speaker 7: and then found my wife was messaging a man for

718
00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:41,960
Speaker 7: a long time with lots of.

719
00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 8: I love yous and plans for a future together.

720
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:47,000
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness.

721
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:50,920
Speaker 7: I contacted a couple of lawyers for advice and got

722
00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:53,400
Speaker 7: my head on straight and calm. I confronted my wife

723
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:56,320
Speaker 7: a couple days ago calmly and asked if she was

724
00:32:56,400 --> 00:33:01,000
Speaker 7: having an affair, and after a couple minutes, she admitted everything.

725
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:05,600
Speaker 7: It's been going on for six months, and she claims

726
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:12,360
Speaker 7: it's the deepest emotional connection ever. Complete bius, but whatever.

727
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:15,360
Speaker 7: To end it all, I gave my list of boundaries,

728
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:19,760
Speaker 7: cut off contact, marriage counseling, et cetera. The thing I

729
00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:23,280
Speaker 7: think was the final nail was that she got extremely

730
00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:27,479
Speaker 7: aggravated about cutting off contact, especially when I told her

731
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:30,360
Speaker 7: to do it in front of me. She even insisted

732
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:34,240
Speaker 7: on seeing him one last time for closure. I held

733
00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 7: my ground and told her, if he was so important,

734
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:39,120
Speaker 7: pack a bag and go live with him.

735
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:40,640
Speaker 3: She backed off, but.

736
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:44,080
Speaker 7: Not before calling me a controlling a hole.

737
00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:46,080
Speaker 8: She sent a text this morning.

738
00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:48,920
Speaker 7: And showed me, but my spidy senses tell me she'll

739
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:52,520
Speaker 7: try a different means of communication. I'm thinking there's no hope,

740
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:55,040
Speaker 7: and I honestly don't want it at this point, but

741
00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:57,280
Speaker 7: I just wanted to be able to tell my kids

742
00:33:57,400 --> 00:34:00,680
Speaker 7: in twenty years that at least I tried have marriage

743
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:04,120
Speaker 7: counseling tomorrow. But I'm thinking it's time to file before

744
00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:08,000
Speaker 7: wasting any more time or grief. I'm cautious about moving

745
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:10,680
Speaker 7: too fast because of my kids? But is this the

746
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:11,680
Speaker 7: right way to do it?

747
00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:14,160
Speaker 8: We have an update, but interesting. I mean, I don't

748
00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:15,120
Speaker 8: see much problem in it.

749
00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:16,440
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna lie update.

750
00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:19,520
Speaker 7: The past few weeks have sucked, but they've given me

751
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:22,000
Speaker 7: time for a lot of soul searching. As an update,

752
00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 7: my wife and I did attend some counseling after the

753
00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:30,120
Speaker 7: initial confrontation. This particular counselor has been very good about

754
00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:33,640
Speaker 7: listening to both of us without assigning blame and helping

755
00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:36,920
Speaker 7: us navigate our new reality. She's also helped uncover some

756
00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:41,439
Speaker 7: structural issues in our relationship. While that doesn't at all

757
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:45,640
Speaker 7: excuse my wife's behavior, it's helpful at least knowing for

758
00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:49,480
Speaker 7: a future relationship and not repeating the same mistakes. As

759
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:53,280
Speaker 7: I've mentioned before, my wife's initial reaction to my boundary

760
00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:56,800
Speaker 7: about cutting off contact with the affair partner appeared to

761
00:34:56,920 --> 00:35:00,480
Speaker 7: go unheated. I did catch some small messages between them

762
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:03,720
Speaker 7: before she completely went dark with her chat logs and phone.

763
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:07,520
Speaker 7: After seeing that, I decided to file She was served

764
00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:10,600
Speaker 7: a few days ago. In parallel, I decided to have

765
00:35:10,719 --> 00:35:12,879
Speaker 7: a heart to heart with my father in law. Since

766
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:16,080
Speaker 7: we're super close, I needed to prioritize support for our

767
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:19,760
Speaker 7: kids versus our relationship. As I could see, my wife

768
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:20,880
Speaker 7: wanted to sweep.

769
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:21,359
Speaker 8: This under the rug.

770
00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:24,759
Speaker 7: I think, if you realize that she's going right back

771
00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:27,120
Speaker 7: to where she was with everything you did, give it

772
00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:28,080
Speaker 7: a try and you can.

773
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:31,439
Speaker 3: Serve now totally. Yeah, I think you You could say

774
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:34,319
Speaker 3: that you tried now you did try. Yeah, she didn't quit,

775
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:36,800
Speaker 3: so she went right back to him. Yeah, exactly.

776
00:35:37,040 --> 00:35:41,080
Speaker 7: Needless to say, my wife was initially extremely upset. Her

777
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:44,800
Speaker 7: fantasy was blown up. Our therapist talked it through with

778
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:47,399
Speaker 7: her from my point of view on why this needed

779
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:49,960
Speaker 7: to happen, and I think she's starting to realize the

780
00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:53,640
Speaker 7: consequences of her actions and see that there are real

781
00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:56,239
Speaker 7: things that are going to be lost from here on out.

782
00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:59,120
Speaker 7: I'm just trying to process the new life ahead and

783
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:02,880
Speaker 7: a huge change in my identity from a husband and

784
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:04,359
Speaker 7: father to something else.

785
00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:05,200
Speaker 8: Same with her.

786
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:08,640
Speaker 7: Since I filed, my wife was immediately shocked when I

787
00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:11,520
Speaker 7: dropped that on her. She's been very emotional these past

788
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:14,359
Speaker 7: few days. I honestly think she thought I would never

789
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:15,520
Speaker 7: be able to walk away.

790
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:18,839
Speaker 8: I've kept her at arm's length, but I have seen

791
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:20,440
Speaker 8: a distinct change in her.

792
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:23,320
Speaker 7: On a positive note, we've talked more, kept our conversation

793
00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:27,440
Speaker 7: civil and focused on our shared priorities, mostly the children.

794
00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:30,120
Speaker 7: I've made it very clear to her that she left

795
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:32,800
Speaker 7: a huge wound on me and that she has to

796
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:35,719
Speaker 7: do the heavy lifting to help repair and give me

797
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:39,120
Speaker 7: space and time. If I can ever begin to forgive,

798
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:42,800
Speaker 7: I'll say it again. Her actions are the most selfish,

799
00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:45,840
Speaker 7: self centered, horrible thing you could do to a person.

800
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,080
Speaker 7: But I have not lost sight that we still need

801
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:51,080
Speaker 7: to raise our children, and that is now my focus

802
00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:53,320
Speaker 7: point as I navigate how I will move to the

803
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:55,400
Speaker 7: next phase of my personal unhappiness.

804
00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:57,280
Speaker 3: We have another update, Gray Rocket.

805
00:36:57,400 --> 00:36:59,480
Speaker 8: You can I was waiting for you to see that.

806
00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:01,879
Speaker 1: Like him back.

807
00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:04,120
Speaker 3: I've like, I feel like I've heard that term just

808
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:06,480
Speaker 3: in general before, but I've never seen it in these

809
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:09,320
Speaker 3: stories except for this whole twenty.

810
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:13,480
Speaker 7: Four hours twenty four hours yere Gray rocking, Yeah, purpul rocking?

811
00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:15,920
Speaker 3: Like is this just like a becoming a popular term?

812
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:16,120
Speaker 1: Now?

813
00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:21,200
Speaker 3: Like? What what is this? But many thoughts? Yeah, I

814
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:23,759
Speaker 3: mean it's kind of interesting. How do we think he's

815
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:25,480
Speaker 3: going about it now now that his wife is like

816
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:26,480
Speaker 3: seeing change?

817
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:28,440
Speaker 8: Is it just kind of like He's just like, we're

818
00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:31,400
Speaker 8: just going to focus on kids co parenting.

819
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:32,919
Speaker 3: That's the way to do it, I feel.

820
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:37,520
Speaker 7: Update two, gray rocking during divorce proceedings. I'm gray rocking

821
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:40,480
Speaker 7: during divorce proceedings for now since I want to spend

822
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:44,080
Speaker 7: as much time with my children as possible. I'm in

823
00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:46,719
Speaker 7: a separate room too, which has helped me begin to

824
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:49,960
Speaker 7: get that distance. I've implemented gray rock with my soon

825
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:53,000
Speaker 7: to be ex wife. I generally try not to be

826
00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:56,920
Speaker 7: interested in any discussion, but have to fake it a little,

827
00:37:57,200 --> 00:37:59,680
Speaker 7: especially with the kids around. They're still small, but they

828
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:01,919
Speaker 7: try to be upbeat as they can sense a lot.

829
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:05,480
Speaker 7: I'm also not making myself available in the evening anymore.

830
00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:08,600
Speaker 7: I'm going out with friends, working out, whatever. It's a

831
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:12,279
Speaker 7: delicate balance. I want as much bonding time with my

832
00:38:12,440 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 7: kids and have sucked it up for family dinners and whatnot.

833
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:19,120
Speaker 7: Update three, How did you deal with your kids after infidelity?

834
00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:22,080
Speaker 7: I have two little ones under five years old. So

835
00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:24,640
Speaker 7: far they don't know what's happening, and my soon to

836
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:28,200
Speaker 7: be X and I are acting amicable and doing activities

837
00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 7: with them, mostly separate but once in a while together

838
00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:34,240
Speaker 7: and trying to keep them on their normal routine. Despite

839
00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:37,600
Speaker 7: my anger and frustration at the selfishness of my soon

840
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:40,120
Speaker 7: to be ex, we've both acted in a way to

841
00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:43,920
Speaker 7: not impact them. So far, she hasn't abandoned or treated

842
00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:46,879
Speaker 7: them badly by any means, but I do spend more

843
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:49,680
Speaker 7: time playing with them, and I see her spending more

844
00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:52,680
Speaker 7: time on her phone than interacting with them. We also

845
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 7: agreed on no bad mouthing or negative talk in front

846
00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:55,920
Speaker 7: of them.

847
00:38:56,239 --> 00:38:57,440
Speaker 8: So far, it's going good.

848
00:38:57,560 --> 00:39:00,360
Speaker 7: The only wild card is when we're separated and the

849
00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:04,359
Speaker 7: affair partner decides to enter the picture officially, but I'll

850
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:05,760
Speaker 7: just deal with that when it comes.

851
00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:06,680
Speaker 3: Update four.

852
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:09,760
Speaker 7: My soon to be ex has expressed wanting to be friends,

853
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:13,000
Speaker 7: but I haven't entertained this. I expressed clearly that I

854
00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:16,480
Speaker 7: can't offer friendship to someone who has betrayed me so badly.

855
00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:19,480
Speaker 7: I'm still in the divorce process and not thinking of

856
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:22,040
Speaker 7: dating or anything at the moment. I did get the

857
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:24,920
Speaker 7: jump after filing and told some of the in laws,

858
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:29,120
Speaker 7: my family, and some friends, but I didn't broadcast too widely,

859
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:32,120
Speaker 7: as I want to keep some things quiet. That being said,

860
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:34,839
Speaker 7: I know my soon to be ex likely threw down

861
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:37,640
Speaker 7: her side and I'm getting some cold vibes from a

862
00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:40,040
Speaker 7: lot of her family and some other folks. I know

863
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:42,560
Speaker 7: blood is thicker than water, but it sucks when your

864
00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:45,839
Speaker 7: close family turns their back despite you being a good

865
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:49,280
Speaker 7: dad and husband and the wife being in a moral turd.

866
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:52,839
Speaker 7: The past few months have been frosty but relatively drama free,

867
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:55,480
Speaker 7: as my soon to be X and I separated our

868
00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:58,440
Speaker 7: lives in the house but still did things for our children.

869
00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:02,720
Speaker 7: The discovery and media process proceeded pretty quickly. We agreed

870
00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:05,520
Speaker 7: on fifty to fifty custody for our kids, along with

871
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:09,600
Speaker 7: schedules and holidays. Since it's a no fault state asset

872
00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:12,399
Speaker 7: division was by the book with some give and take.

873
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:14,720
Speaker 7: I'll be finding a place soon for a fresh start.

874
00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:18,000
Speaker 7: The final conclusion is on the horizon, but for the

875
00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:19,800
Speaker 7: most part, the divorce is complete.

876
00:40:19,880 --> 00:40:23,200
Speaker 3: But I'm glad they're actually taking action. That's honestly a

877
00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:24,320
Speaker 3: relief from the last story.

878
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:26,839
Speaker 7: And it seems pretty chill like I'm like, I don't

879
00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:28,360
Speaker 7: have anything to say because it's going.

880
00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:31,560
Speaker 3: Smooth figuring it out. You're just telling us your story.

881
00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:32,839
Speaker 8: Update six.

882
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:35,960
Speaker 7: I was recently informed that my cheating soon to be

883
00:40:36,239 --> 00:40:38,960
Speaker 7: X had also cheated on her previous fiance with a

884
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,719
Speaker 7: married man a couple of years before we met. Now

885
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:45,200
Speaker 7: you find out the affair partner unfortunately passed away. Just

886
00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:47,960
Speaker 7: goes to show the empty hole in a cheater never

887
00:40:48,080 --> 00:40:48,720
Speaker 7: gets filled.

888
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:50,920
Speaker 3: Seem like you guys have a weird dynamic. But also,

889
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:53,200
Speaker 3: I mean, it seems like that's what's working. Yeah, you

890
00:40:53,239 --> 00:40:54,320
Speaker 3: know up day seven.

891
00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:56,800
Speaker 7: It's still hurt to have to type this out and

892
00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:58,960
Speaker 7: say goodbye to the life I thought I was going

893
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:02,279
Speaker 7: to have, But but I have accepted change is necessary

894
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:05,480
Speaker 7: and full speed ahead. As of today, the official decree

895
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:08,480
Speaker 7: went out and I'm no longer married. I also picked

896
00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:10,879
Speaker 7: up the keys to my new house and we'll start

897
00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:13,359
Speaker 7: the process to move as soon as possible. I chose

898
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:15,640
Speaker 7: to take a buy out as I felt it was

899
00:41:15,719 --> 00:41:17,759
Speaker 7: best to start fresh in a place of my own

900
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:20,920
Speaker 7: to make new memories, and I got really lucky. I

901
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:24,040
Speaker 7: found a nicely kept up house barely a minute away

902
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:26,680
Speaker 7: from my current home. I wanted to be close to

903
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:29,160
Speaker 7: my kids because they need to know their dad is

904
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:30,719
Speaker 7: close by for when they need me.

905
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:34,799
Speaker 3: Ah, we actually get an ending with this ending.

906
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:36,640
Speaker 8: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

907
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:37,560
Speaker 8: to the next one.

908
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:39,480
Speaker 2: John here og host.

909
00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:41,279
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to these stories, but a quick

910
00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:42,920
Speaker 1: three minute break from ass for more sponsors.

911
00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:46,760
Speaker 3: My wife left me for a gym guy and turned

912
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:51,680
Speaker 3: into a stranger overnight, not the gym bra. We've known

913
00:41:51,719 --> 00:41:54,320
Speaker 3: each other for thirteen years. I met her when she

914
00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:56,320
Speaker 3: was working at a bar. We got to talking and

915
00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:58,200
Speaker 3: I gave her my number before I left. We had

916
00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:01,040
Speaker 3: our first date three days later and me came inseparable.

917
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:04,880
Speaker 3: We moved in together quickly, always totally compatible and comfortable

918
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:08,040
Speaker 3: with each other. By the way, this comes from Benjaminsum

919
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:10,120
Speaker 3: and if you want to submit your own stories, going

920
00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:12,000
Speaker 3: to the r slash Okay story time separate it and

921
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:13,120
Speaker 3: I'm Angie.

922
00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:15,239
Speaker 8: I'm Carly, and I'm Sophia, and we're here to.

923
00:42:15,239 --> 00:42:17,760
Speaker 3: Give good advice. Goofily, But we don't have all the answers.

924
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:20,200
Speaker 3: We're just gonna guess what we would do in this situation.

925
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:21,719
Speaker 3: But let us know what you would do down below.

926
00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:24,759
Speaker 3: Our morals and core values aligned. Neither of us ever

927
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:27,520
Speaker 3: wanted a divorce, especially if we had kids. She comes

928
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:29,600
Speaker 3: from a broken home and hates her father for a

929
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:31,719
Speaker 3: cheating on her mother when she was pregnant with our

930
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:34,600
Speaker 3: first I finished up work so we can move eighteen

931
00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:37,400
Speaker 3: hundred kilometers away. After our son was born, I was

932
00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:40,360
Speaker 3: working in retail when we discussed me studying to change careers.

933
00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:43,359
Speaker 3: I got accepted into med school, which meant another move.

934
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:45,600
Speaker 3: I stopped studying to stay with her and our kid.

935
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:47,960
Speaker 3: We got pregnant again while I was back at school

936
00:42:48,040 --> 00:42:50,400
Speaker 3: and had a healthy baby boy. He was born on

937
00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:53,160
Speaker 3: the day of my final exam, which I skipped to

938
00:42:53,239 --> 00:42:56,080
Speaker 3: be with my wife. I completed the next year of study.

939
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:58,719
Speaker 3: My wife now says that I was neglecting her and

940
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:01,240
Speaker 3: the kids. I always asked her if she was okay,

941
00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:03,239
Speaker 3: if she needed me to do anything. She never said

942
00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:05,759
Speaker 3: anything to me, just complained to her friends. I got

943
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:09,080
Speaker 3: my myocarditis from the VID vaccine, and when I caught

944
00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:11,919
Speaker 3: the VID, it messed me up badly. I missed most

945
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:15,040
Speaker 3: of a year of study, then a significant spinal injury

946
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:18,239
Speaker 3: that took surgery and nearly two years of rehab. I

947
00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:21,160
Speaker 3: still have chronic pain. Through all that sickness and injury,

948
00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:24,200
Speaker 3: my wife decided to become a fitness instructor, then studied

949
00:43:24,239 --> 00:43:26,400
Speaker 3: to become a personal trainer. She's been working as a

950
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:29,399
Speaker 3: personal trainer for eighteen months, got herself fit and has

951
00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:32,080
Speaker 3: been working on bodybuilding. I always encouraged her to chase

952
00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:34,279
Speaker 3: her dreams. She's been away from home for over the

953
00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 3: last six to nine months, always busy. I became the

954
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:39,680
Speaker 3: primary care for our kids because she leaves before they

955
00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:42,319
Speaker 3: get up and often it'sn't home until after dinner time.

956
00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:45,560
Speaker 3: Over Christmas, she was behaving distant and odd towards not

957
00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:48,360
Speaker 3: just me, but the kids as well. On January seventh,

958
00:43:48,520 --> 00:43:51,239
Speaker 3: she sat down and said she was feeling disconnected from me,

959
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:53,719
Speaker 3: that we needed to spend more time together. She said

960
00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:55,680
Speaker 3: she'd been texting a guy from her gym for a

961
00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:59,160
Speaker 3: couple of weeks and felt bad. Nothing spicy related, nothing

962
00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:02,520
Speaker 3: had happened. Discussed it as a warning, she agreed to counseling.

963
00:44:02,760 --> 00:44:04,920
Speaker 3: She cuddled into my arms and we went to sleep.

964
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:08,520
Speaker 3: The next day, after further questioning, she admitted it had

965
00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:11,520
Speaker 3: been the spicy related, but nothing physical. She agreed to

966
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:14,520
Speaker 3: stop communicating with the guy, but then decided she didn't

967
00:44:14,560 --> 00:44:17,279
Speaker 3: want to. After she'd been to work and talked to

968
00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:19,320
Speaker 3: a friend The next day, it came out that it

969
00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:21,839
Speaker 3: was more like two months instead of the two weeks

970
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:24,560
Speaker 3: as she said. That it was over and she didn't

971
00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:27,399
Speaker 3: want to do anything to help our relationship. She said

972
00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:30,440
Speaker 3: she'd be moving out. She went off and slept with

973
00:44:30,520 --> 00:44:33,040
Speaker 3: the guy. The next day, when she was meant to

974
00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:35,839
Speaker 3: be looking after the kids, watched the kids. Oh my god,

975
00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:38,239
Speaker 3: are the kids. Wait a second, I'm assuming he had

976
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:40,600
Speaker 3: to just like swoop in and help the kids, because yeah,

977
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:43,520
Speaker 3: when that guy who was in his early twenties, my

978
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:46,040
Speaker 3: wife is in her mid thirties and I'm forty two,

979
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:49,320
Speaker 3: he dumped her. A week or two later, she decided

980
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:52,840
Speaker 3: we should at least do some counseling. We started counseling

981
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:56,520
Speaker 3: and agreed to a trial separation. We wouldn't tell the kids.

982
00:44:56,719 --> 00:44:59,320
Speaker 3: She'd continue to sleep in the spare room. We agreed

983
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:02,240
Speaker 3: to no dating or bringing anyone else into the situation.

984
00:45:02,719 --> 00:45:05,520
Speaker 3: Six months of trial and counseling for us individually and

985
00:45:05,719 --> 00:45:08,120
Speaker 3: as a couple, we both started reading self help books

986
00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:11,359
Speaker 3: and exchanging them, discussing things that we found applied to us.

987
00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:14,160
Speaker 3: Things were getting better. We were almost like friends again.

988
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:17,160
Speaker 3: She then started acting weird again to be in the kids.

989
00:45:17,320 --> 00:45:19,600
Speaker 3: She'd been talking to a client when a guy came

990
00:45:19,719 --> 00:45:21,520
Speaker 3: up and said he had gone through a divorce and

991
00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:25,040
Speaker 3: could give her advice. He gave her his number. This

992
00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:27,960
Speaker 3: blew up over Easter because she had been hiding it.

993
00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:31,040
Speaker 3: She left the home and the kids to go clear

994
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:33,880
Speaker 3: her head. She spent two hours with this guy. Now.

995
00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:36,560
Speaker 3: This guy is older than me, has a twelve year

996
00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:38,960
Speaker 3: old son that he only sees once a fortnite, and

997
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:42,839
Speaker 3: has been separated for seven years. Everything has gone back

998
00:45:43,120 --> 00:45:46,080
Speaker 3: to crap. I don't trust a word, she says. She's

999
00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:49,000
Speaker 3: become totally unreliable where the kids are concerned. She used

1000
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:51,839
Speaker 3: to be all about them, her number one priority. She's

1001
00:45:51,960 --> 00:45:55,760
Speaker 3: now dating this friend and has started a spicy related

1002
00:45:55,840 --> 00:45:58,920
Speaker 3: relationship with him. I'm looking after the kids eighty to

1003
00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:01,600
Speaker 3: eighty five percent of the time. She's rarely at home,

1004
00:46:01,760 --> 00:46:04,239
Speaker 3: and when she is, she puts in minimal effort for them.

1005
00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:06,160
Speaker 3: I had to duck out to the shops and when

1006
00:46:06,239 --> 00:46:08,560
Speaker 3: I got home, she had given the little one ice

1007
00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:11,000
Speaker 3: cream for dinner. She doesn't care how much pain she

1008
00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:13,799
Speaker 3: has caused. She blames me for not being a safe

1009
00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:16,040
Speaker 3: space for her to open up to. Her memory has

1010
00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:19,320
Speaker 3: become screwed. She forgets things and has done none of

1011
00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 3: the things for the kids that she said she would.

1012
00:46:21,760 --> 00:46:25,560
Speaker 3: My parents are concerned about her. Her personality has totally changed.

1013
00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:28,280
Speaker 3: Her family isn't really aware of what has been happening.

1014
00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:30,800
Speaker 3: All she has is her gym buddies telling her to

1015
00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:34,239
Speaker 3: stay strong. My life is in shambles. The person I

1016
00:46:34,360 --> 00:46:37,000
Speaker 3: believed in and trusted the most has turned her back,

1017
00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:39,279
Speaker 3: not just on me but our kids. I keep it

1018
00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:41,480
Speaker 3: together as best as I can, but I struggle. My

1019
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:44,040
Speaker 3: parents are nearby so they can come help. But any

1020
00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:47,000
Speaker 3: advice and there is an update? Oh my god, we're

1021
00:46:47,080 --> 00:46:49,879
Speaker 3: like a quarter through the story, just about a third.

1022
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:54,919
Speaker 3: But yeah, ah that sucks. Dude, that sucks so much.

1023
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:57,880
Speaker 3: Your family's around, Yes, you can get that support, but.

1024
00:46:58,040 --> 00:46:58,640
Speaker 1: I don't know it.

1025
00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:00,919
Speaker 8: Just I wouldn't be able to trust her ever again.

1026
00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:01,279
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1027
00:47:01,560 --> 00:47:04,600
Speaker 3: Update, my wife is finally moving out. The consequences of

1028
00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:07,480
Speaker 3: her actions have started to impact her. My wife is

1029
00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:10,520
Speaker 3: finally moving out. I started gray rocking in response to her,

1030
00:47:10,719 --> 00:47:12,880
Speaker 3: and she hated it. She told me this afternoon that

1031
00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:15,680
Speaker 3: she's found a place and will be moving out next Saturday.

1032
00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:17,680
Speaker 3: She also told me that if I want her to

1033
00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 3: pay her share of the rent like she's obligated to

1034
00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:22,800
Speaker 3: for four weeks after giving the notice, I'll have to

1035
00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:24,759
Speaker 3: take her to court. She told me if I don't

1036
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:27,400
Speaker 3: sign a custody agreement with her for fifty to fifty,

1037
00:47:27,680 --> 00:47:30,360
Speaker 3: she's going to take them with her anyway. I calmly

1038
00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:34,040
Speaker 3: informed her that as the current primary care for the kids,

1039
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:36,319
Speaker 3: with about eighty to eighty five percent of the care

1040
00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:38,840
Speaker 3: being directly from me, I would go and get a

1041
00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:41,799
Speaker 3: temporary injunction to stop her. I offered for the current

1042
00:47:41,880 --> 00:47:45,000
Speaker 3: care arrangements to continue and she can see them on

1043
00:47:45,120 --> 00:47:48,040
Speaker 3: weekends like she currently does, but she won't accept that offer.

1044
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:50,520
Speaker 3: She says she wants what's best for the kids, but

1045
00:47:50,719 --> 00:47:53,480
Speaker 3: is willing to take them away from their home without consideration,

1046
00:47:53,719 --> 00:47:56,440
Speaker 3: also refusing to let me know where her place will be.

1047
00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:59,680
Speaker 3: I informed my lawyers of the latest development, and we

1048
00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:03,240
Speaker 3: do have a second update. Oh my god, Oh my gosh.

1049
00:48:03,719 --> 00:48:05,880
Speaker 8: I'm over this wife and this story.

1050
00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:10,400
Speaker 7: Yeah, worst, I would want one hundred percent, like potentially

1051
00:48:10,520 --> 00:48:14,000
Speaker 7: look into defining what the custody is more, yes, so

1052
00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:16,800
Speaker 7: that there's like consequences if she takes these kids.

1053
00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:18,560
Speaker 3: I think there would be either way, but sure, but

1054
00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:20,800
Speaker 3: we do have a second update. I'm at a loss

1055
00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:23,200
Speaker 3: for what to do. I'm looking after my physical and

1056
00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:26,359
Speaker 3: mental health. Now been swimming, walking, and joined a gym.

1057
00:48:26,719 --> 00:48:29,560
Speaker 3: I've lost thirty eight kilograms, which is eighty three pounds

1058
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:32,759
Speaker 3: since January. I'm doing a diving course and organizing with

1059
00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:35,480
Speaker 3: my university to graduate with a master's degree from my

1060
00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:39,640
Speaker 3: completed studies. I go to counseling a fortnightly and see

1061
00:48:39,719 --> 00:48:43,320
Speaker 3: a psychologist on the alternate weekends, mixed in with appointments

1062
00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:47,120
Speaker 3: with physiotherapists and pain specialists for my back issues. I've

1063
00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:50,440
Speaker 3: been organizing my kids counseling and a child psychologist. The

1064
00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:53,479
Speaker 3: eldest is really struggling and has been defiant to both

1065
00:48:53,520 --> 00:48:57,040
Speaker 3: myself and his mother. He lashes out, ignores others, and

1066
00:48:57,160 --> 00:49:00,560
Speaker 3: won't talk, sometimes even about things that he likes. He's

1067
00:49:00,680 --> 00:49:04,240
Speaker 3: sad and angry, feels left out, and is constantly hopeful

1068
00:49:04,280 --> 00:49:06,880
Speaker 3: that his mom and I will just magically get back together.

1069
00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:09,560
Speaker 3: She just took him from school to her new place

1070
00:49:09,640 --> 00:49:12,120
Speaker 3: and said, this is my new house. I moved out.

1071
00:49:12,239 --> 00:49:15,160
Speaker 3: I struggle every day I have the kids because I

1072
00:49:15,280 --> 00:49:17,880
Speaker 3: can see the pain and confusion in their eyes. I

1073
00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:20,279
Speaker 3: give them my love, let them know they can ask

1074
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:22,799
Speaker 3: anything that I'll support them and take care of them.

1075
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:25,200
Speaker 3: When they're with the ex, I struggle because I can't

1076
00:49:25,239 --> 00:49:27,680
Speaker 3: make sure that she's actually attending to them. She always

1077
00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:30,240
Speaker 3: has her head buried in her phone or her iPad.

1078
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:32,960
Speaker 3: The person I used to like talking to the most

1079
00:49:33,280 --> 00:49:35,759
Speaker 3: is now a stranger. The moments at home where the

1080
00:49:35,840 --> 00:49:38,040
Speaker 3: kids are doing their own thing and want their space,

1081
00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:40,600
Speaker 3: I feel lost. I want to reach out and talk

1082
00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:42,400
Speaker 3: to my ex because she was always the person to

1083
00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:44,600
Speaker 3: chat with to have fun and have a laugh, and

1084
00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:48,359
Speaker 3: nowadays she can either be friendly when we talk or psychotic.

1085
00:49:48,480 --> 00:49:51,319
Speaker 3: And we do have a third update, the latest new

1086
00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:53,880
Speaker 3: low from soon to be ex wife. Our kids are

1087
00:49:53,920 --> 00:49:56,440
Speaker 3: struggling with their mother moving out, the fact that she

1088
00:49:56,600 --> 00:49:59,200
Speaker 3: continues to not be interested in them during storytime and

1089
00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:01,640
Speaker 3: the fact that she doesn't really engage with them when

1090
00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:04,240
Speaker 3: they're at their new place. This last weekend, my eldest

1091
00:50:04,320 --> 00:50:07,360
Speaker 3: specifically said he didn't want her coming to his karate lesson,

1092
00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:09,560
Speaker 3: and then the younger one said he didn't want to

1093
00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:11,759
Speaker 3: talk to her because he's used to not talking to

1094
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:14,120
Speaker 3: her now. She used to be a dedicated mother, but

1095
00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:16,560
Speaker 3: not since she got into the gym and bodybuilding. We

1096
00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:19,319
Speaker 3: had been communicating about the kids what they'd been doing

1097
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:22,000
Speaker 3: how they've been saying they're sick and don't want to

1098
00:50:22,040 --> 00:50:24,880
Speaker 3: go to school or see their friends. Both kids previously

1099
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:28,000
Speaker 3: loved school. Now she doesn't want to hear about what's

1100
00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:31,560
Speaker 3: happening with the kids because it's quote emotional abuse and

1101
00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:35,520
Speaker 3: manipulation from me. Update number four morebs from the Mind

1102
00:50:35,560 --> 00:50:38,080
Speaker 3: of a Cheater. Today we talked on the phone because

1103
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:40,600
Speaker 3: she was once again choosing to let the kids down

1104
00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:43,120
Speaker 3: while they're both sick. She threw certain things at me,

1105
00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:46,000
Speaker 3: one of which was that a personal alarm I got

1106
00:50:46,120 --> 00:50:49,320
Speaker 3: after she told me a woman had been in danger

1107
00:50:49,480 --> 00:50:53,440
Speaker 3: near her work, was quote really a listening device to record.

1108
00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:54,000
Speaker 1: What she was saying.

1109
00:50:54,239 --> 00:50:56,680
Speaker 3: I asked her to clarify why she thought that. All

1110
00:50:56,800 --> 00:50:59,600
Speaker 3: she would say was someone told her it was even

1111
00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:01,840
Speaker 3: though I I provided her the receipt and where I

1112
00:51:01,920 --> 00:51:03,640
Speaker 3: bought it from. I asked her if she thought it

1113
00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:05,680
Speaker 3: was a listening device, why didn't she take it to

1114
00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:08,279
Speaker 3: the police. She called the police on me when she

1115
00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:10,400
Speaker 3: moved out and took the kids without notice, so she

1116
00:51:10,520 --> 00:51:11,120
Speaker 3: had no answer.

1117
00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:11,520
Speaker 1: This time.

1118
00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:13,880
Speaker 3: I asked her who told her it was a listening device.

1119
00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:16,440
Speaker 3: She wouldn't give a name. My guess was that it's

1120
00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:19,080
Speaker 3: her new boyfriend, the person who came onto the scene

1121
00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:21,879
Speaker 3: when we were doing a trial separation where we said

1122
00:51:21,880 --> 00:51:24,440
Speaker 3: we wouldn't be dating. He just wanted to be friends.

1123
00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:28,280
Speaker 3: She's been assuming that an alarm I gave her before

1124
00:51:28,440 --> 00:51:31,319
Speaker 3: I knew she was cheating is a recording device. Took

1125
00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:33,440
Speaker 3: the word of some other person. Didn't show it to

1126
00:51:33,480 --> 00:51:37,120
Speaker 3: the police yet. Just the other day, suggested the kids

1127
00:51:37,239 --> 00:51:40,680
Speaker 3: her and I go on a camping trip for Christmas together.

1128
00:51:40,920 --> 00:51:45,400
Speaker 8: She is, yeah, something is actually wrong that is affecting this.

1129
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:49,960
Speaker 3: This is like, this is so far past, just like yeahs.

1130
00:51:49,560 --> 00:51:51,440
Speaker 8: Like cheater, you kind of stink a little now.

1131
00:51:51,480 --> 00:51:56,360
Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, I'm worried about your actually right. I

1132
00:51:56,480 --> 00:51:59,200
Speaker 3: contacted my solicitor about it. They want her to make

1133
00:51:59,239 --> 00:52:01,560
Speaker 3: an official state about who told her it was a

1134
00:52:01,640 --> 00:52:05,360
Speaker 3: recording device, and we'll explore legal options for slander. Update

1135
00:52:05,440 --> 00:52:08,759
Speaker 3: number five was this manipulation. On Saturday evening, when the

1136
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:11,800
Speaker 3: kids were with me, The eldest, who is nine, messaged

1137
00:52:11,840 --> 00:52:14,200
Speaker 3: his mother asking if she could bring some donuts. She

1138
00:52:14,520 --> 00:52:17,920
Speaker 3: messaged him saying yes, of course, and that she'll message me.

1139
00:52:18,120 --> 00:52:21,200
Speaker 3: She sends me a message saying eldest asked for donuts

1140
00:52:21,320 --> 00:52:23,880
Speaker 3: I'll bring them around and we can do storytime together

1141
00:52:23,960 --> 00:52:26,120
Speaker 3: as a family. Then we won't have to do it later.

1142
00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:29,640
Speaker 3: I just started putting the kids dinner together, so I

1143
00:52:29,719 --> 00:52:32,759
Speaker 3: messaged back saying that would be great, but it's dinnertime soon.

1144
00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:35,960
Speaker 3: Maybe come around in about ninety minutes. Family storytime has

1145
00:52:36,040 --> 00:52:38,799
Speaker 3: always been a highlight. The kids constantly expressed that they

1146
00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:41,560
Speaker 3: don't like us being in separate houses. Her reply is

1147
00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:45,400
Speaker 3: I can't, I'm going out. This immediately irritates me because

1148
00:52:45,440 --> 00:52:47,840
Speaker 3: to me, it says this wasn't a gesture for the kids,

1149
00:52:47,960 --> 00:52:50,120
Speaker 3: it was so she didn't have to commit to storytime later.

1150
00:52:50,239 --> 00:52:53,120
Speaker 3: She's skipped out on multiple storytimes because of going out.

1151
00:52:53,280 --> 00:52:56,000
Speaker 3: I tell her as much, and she says she can

1152
00:52:56,120 --> 00:52:58,520
Speaker 3: just drop the donuts off and leave. I tell her

1153
00:52:58,640 --> 00:53:01,239
Speaker 3: that that doesn't change that a dinner time, So come

1154
00:53:01,360 --> 00:53:03,680
Speaker 3: over either in ninety minutes or two and a half

1155
00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:07,040
Speaker 3: hours at the normal storytime. She then messages the eldest

1156
00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:09,600
Speaker 3: to say she can't bring the donuts because I won't

1157
00:53:09,680 --> 00:53:13,920
Speaker 3: let her. What, Oh my gosh, this is crazy. So

1158
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:16,920
Speaker 3: it seems like, you know, they're separated, not totally divorced,

1159
00:53:17,040 --> 00:53:21,279
Speaker 3: still working with like lawyers and stuff along the separation process. Yeah,

1160
00:53:21,440 --> 00:53:23,920
Speaker 3: and they're having like some family time here and there,

1161
00:53:24,600 --> 00:53:26,920
Speaker 3: but she dips a lot. Yeah, I have to tell

1162
00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:28,879
Speaker 3: the kids that I told their mother that she could

1163
00:53:28,920 --> 00:53:31,759
Speaker 3: come over after dinner, but those times weren't okay for her.

1164
00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:34,879
Speaker 3: As she was going out, She skips storytime and only

1165
00:53:34,960 --> 00:53:36,840
Speaker 3: calls briefly after it to say good night to the

1166
00:53:36,920 --> 00:53:39,520
Speaker 3: kids from the pub with loud music in the background.

1167
00:53:39,719 --> 00:53:42,440
Speaker 3: She told the eldest that she'd bring the donuts around

1168
00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:45,239
Speaker 3: without first checking with me. She knew she was going

1169
00:53:45,280 --> 00:53:47,560
Speaker 3: out already but hadn't told me or the kids, and

1170
00:53:47,760 --> 00:53:51,160
Speaker 3: was using the carot of doing stories like we used

1171
00:53:51,160 --> 00:53:54,600
Speaker 3: to to enable her to not commit to storytime. I

1172
00:53:54,640 --> 00:53:57,440
Speaker 3: have always wanted her to be independent and always supported

1173
00:53:57,480 --> 00:54:00,400
Speaker 3: her to pursue her goals, through her working wanting to

1174
00:54:00,400 --> 00:54:02,839
Speaker 3: be a stay at home mother, to her studying, her

1175
00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:05,520
Speaker 3: pursuit of new jobs and hobbies. I never once asked

1176
00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:07,480
Speaker 3: her not to do something until I asked her to

1177
00:54:07,560 --> 00:54:10,480
Speaker 3: stop cheating. Then, when she said she was moving out,

1178
00:54:10,600 --> 00:54:12,640
Speaker 3: I wouldn't let her leave the house alone with the

1179
00:54:12,719 --> 00:54:15,279
Speaker 3: kids because I didn't trust her not to take off

1180
00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:17,359
Speaker 3: with them. Yeah, it makes sense, she said, she would.

1181
00:54:17,840 --> 00:54:22,000
Speaker 3: She literally told me she was that she would perfectly valid.

1182
00:54:22,320 --> 00:54:25,120
Speaker 3: She said she'd never do that, and then did it.

1183
00:54:25,400 --> 00:54:28,080
Speaker 3: In update number six, I have mostly gotten past my

1184
00:54:28,160 --> 00:54:32,640
Speaker 3: anger now I move between sadness and pity for my ww.

1185
00:54:32,840 --> 00:54:34,960
Speaker 3: We had been doing fifty to fifty, but split up

1186
00:54:34,960 --> 00:54:37,000
Speaker 3: in a weird way to work around her work hours.

1187
00:54:37,160 --> 00:54:40,080
Speaker 3: Last weekend, she introduced our kids to her new boyfriend,

1188
00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:43,000
Speaker 3: the fair partner. She told him it was to be

1189
00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:47,279
Speaker 3: a short introduction and then him leaving. I was very

1190
00:54:47,360 --> 00:54:50,080
Speaker 3: against it and told her we should be consulting with

1191
00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:53,720
Speaker 3: our eldest psychologist. He has adhd IS on the spectrum

1192
00:54:53,760 --> 00:54:56,600
Speaker 3: and is really struggling. She ignored my request, and instead

1193
00:54:56,640 --> 00:54:59,719
Speaker 3: of enforcing the boundary she set, he brought his older

1194
00:54:59,800 --> 00:55:03,440
Speaker 3: kids hung out with my wife and kids and tagged

1195
00:55:03,480 --> 00:55:06,440
Speaker 3: along with them for the walk they planned. So not

1196
00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:09,440
Speaker 3: only are they meeting the affair partner, but also his

1197
00:55:09,680 --> 00:55:13,400
Speaker 3: kids too, and they're hanging out. Oh and he's only nine.

1198
00:55:13,920 --> 00:55:15,600
Speaker 3: This is so confusing for this child.

1199
00:55:15,840 --> 00:55:17,359
Speaker 1: Are we doing this to this kid?

1200
00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:19,120
Speaker 3: Why are you goodness, you're meeing.

1201
00:55:18,920 --> 00:55:19,360
Speaker 2: Any of this?

1202
00:55:19,880 --> 00:55:23,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, our eldest is devastated. She's lied to him so

1203
00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:27,200
Speaker 3: many times. I get left to be the honest and

1204
00:55:27,239 --> 00:55:30,200
Speaker 3: stable one, so he's now not wanting to trust his mother,

1205
00:55:30,680 --> 00:55:33,120
Speaker 3: thinks she doesn't love him, and never wants to see

1206
00:55:33,160 --> 00:55:36,200
Speaker 3: the affair partner again. I enforced week to week as

1207
00:55:36,320 --> 00:55:38,680
Speaker 3: being the way fifty to fifty will go from now on,

1208
00:55:39,120 --> 00:55:41,000
Speaker 3: mainly so I could keep the kids with me all

1209
00:55:41,080 --> 00:55:43,319
Speaker 3: this week and ensure the eldest is all right. When

1210
00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:45,919
Speaker 3: he got to see his psychologists this week, they told

1211
00:55:46,040 --> 00:55:48,840
Speaker 3: us stick to routines, make him know he's a priority.

1212
00:55:49,120 --> 00:55:51,400
Speaker 3: Don't go introducing new people into his world for a

1213
00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:54,560
Speaker 3: long while. He needs to know he's loved, reassure him,

1214
00:55:54,880 --> 00:55:56,640
Speaker 3: give him stability.

1215
00:55:56,280 --> 00:55:59,040
Speaker 8: And then we're immediately introducing new people into his life.

1216
00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:02,560
Speaker 3: Yeahard wife sent him a message each day for the

1217
00:56:02,680 --> 00:56:06,120
Speaker 3: next two days, then nothing. Today. She canceled our FaceTime

1218
00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:08,520
Speaker 3: and story time so she can go to the movies,

1219
00:56:08,920 --> 00:56:12,040
Speaker 3: saying she can't control the movie times. My eldest asked

1220
00:56:12,080 --> 00:56:14,279
Speaker 3: me if I was going to bring someone into our home.

1221
00:56:14,600 --> 00:56:16,640
Speaker 3: I told him that I have no interest in trying

1222
00:56:16,680 --> 00:56:18,320
Speaker 3: to do that. I am focused on him and his

1223
00:56:18,440 --> 00:56:21,200
Speaker 3: brother making sure they know they're loved and safe in

1224
00:56:21,280 --> 00:56:23,120
Speaker 3: our home. He knows that if a fair partner is

1225
00:56:23,160 --> 00:56:25,839
Speaker 3: around him. He can message me and all come collect him.

1226
00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:28,480
Speaker 3: He's old enough to decide who he wants to be around.

1227
00:56:28,640 --> 00:56:30,840
Speaker 3: And we do have another updates.

1228
00:56:30,960 --> 00:56:33,920
Speaker 8: This is one last up You're so great killing me

1229
00:56:34,120 --> 00:56:35,160
Speaker 8: the last updates I know.

1230
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:38,200
Speaker 3: Oh, thank god, Redd. It's honestly like it's seemingly all

1231
00:56:38,239 --> 00:56:42,799
Speaker 3: he has at this point. It's fair. She sucks onto

1232
00:56:42,840 --> 00:56:45,640
Speaker 3: the laughable updates. A couple of weeks ago, after as

1233
00:56:45,680 --> 00:56:47,840
Speaker 3: soon as the ex wife introduced our kids to a

1234
00:56:47,920 --> 00:56:50,640
Speaker 3: fair partner slash boyfriend, I enforced a change to our

1235
00:56:50,840 --> 00:56:53,239
Speaker 3: fifty to fifty arrangement to e week to week, which

1236
00:56:53,280 --> 00:56:56,680
Speaker 3: the psychologist had advised, instead of multiple changes a week

1237
00:56:56,719 --> 00:56:59,239
Speaker 3: to suit her requirements. This coming weekend his Father's Day

1238
00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:01,799
Speaker 3: on Sunday, but I'd won some tickets for an event

1239
00:57:01,880 --> 00:57:04,920
Speaker 3: to take the kids on Saturday. This weekend is her weekend.

1240
00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:07,440
Speaker 3: We had discussed it a month ago after I had

1241
00:57:07,480 --> 00:57:09,879
Speaker 3: won the tickets. She had said that the kids would

1242
00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:12,080
Speaker 3: love it and agreed to them going with me, So

1243
00:57:12,280 --> 00:57:15,200
Speaker 3: the kids were told they're both very excited. Last night

1244
00:57:15,280 --> 00:57:17,200
Speaker 3: at the kids' karate lessons, she told me that I

1245
00:57:17,320 --> 00:57:19,760
Speaker 3: couldn't take them now because it was her weekend and

1246
00:57:19,880 --> 00:57:22,560
Speaker 3: she was just sticking to the new system. When asked

1247
00:57:22,680 --> 00:57:24,800
Speaker 3: why she wanted to let me take the kids to

1248
00:57:24,840 --> 00:57:27,880
Speaker 3: an event we had already told them about, she said

1249
00:57:27,920 --> 00:57:29,920
Speaker 3: she didn't know. I told her, if she wants to

1250
00:57:30,040 --> 00:57:32,600
Speaker 3: spite me, don't take something away from the kids. She

1251
00:57:32,840 --> 00:57:36,320
Speaker 3: declared that it wasn't about spite. After getting advice from

1252
00:57:36,360 --> 00:57:38,919
Speaker 3: a third party, she came up and said she knows

1253
00:57:38,960 --> 00:57:41,200
Speaker 3: what she wants, and she wants to let me take

1254
00:57:41,240 --> 00:57:44,440
Speaker 3: the kids. She's previously suggested that we go somewhere as

1255
00:57:44,480 --> 00:57:48,480
Speaker 3: a family for Christmas. Now she realizes that Christmas falls

1256
00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:50,520
Speaker 3: on my week to have the kids, so she wants

1257
00:57:50,640 --> 00:57:53,920
Speaker 3: a written and signed declaration that I'll share the custody

1258
00:57:54,000 --> 00:57:56,000
Speaker 3: of the kids on the week of Christmas. If I

1259
00:57:56,120 --> 00:57:58,720
Speaker 3: do that, she'll let me take the kids to the event.

1260
00:57:59,080 --> 00:57:59,800
Speaker 3: Is so exhausting.

1261
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:01,840
Speaker 7: I have an updates in and I've lost the plot,

1262
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:05,240
Speaker 7: Like I know exactly what's going on, but I'm it's

1263
00:58:05,320 --> 00:58:06,440
Speaker 7: just we're just tiring.

1264
00:58:06,600 --> 00:58:08,600
Speaker 3: He's just here sorry for you at this point.

1265
00:58:08,840 --> 00:58:11,479
Speaker 8: I know, I know I feel bad for the kids

1266
00:58:11,520 --> 00:58:12,280
Speaker 8: more than anything.

1267
00:58:12,640 --> 00:58:16,080
Speaker 3: She's just like really overthinking this new schedule, like totally,

1268
00:58:16,480 --> 00:58:19,400
Speaker 3: like I'm guessing that the month ago where they agreed

1269
00:58:19,440 --> 00:58:21,360
Speaker 3: to go to this like Father's Day thing, that was

1270
00:58:21,400 --> 00:58:23,760
Speaker 3: before this new like weekly schedule, and now that they

1271
00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:27,959
Speaker 3: have like assigned weekends and just weeks, She's like, wait,

1272
00:58:28,160 --> 00:58:30,240
Speaker 3: but like, I'm not gonna get Christmas. You have to

1273
00:58:30,320 --> 00:58:32,320
Speaker 3: agree to this so that I can get Christmas.

1274
00:58:32,480 --> 00:58:34,800
Speaker 8: It's like you guys had a whole thing worked out

1275
00:58:34,800 --> 00:58:35,320
Speaker 8: for a reason.

1276
00:58:35,480 --> 00:58:38,000
Speaker 3: Though yeah, yeah, I don't know. It's like we don't.

1277
00:58:38,040 --> 00:58:40,280
Speaker 3: I don't think we need to set up this like

1278
00:58:40,640 --> 00:58:41,800
Speaker 3: transactional thing.

1279
00:58:42,080 --> 00:58:45,880
Speaker 8: Yeah, you're gonna be at that point on Christmas. Girl,

1280
00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:48,200
Speaker 8: you run off every like five weeks.

1281
00:58:48,280 --> 00:58:50,360
Speaker 3: I feel like, and this is like we're talking about

1282
00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:53,640
Speaker 3: Father's Day right now, this is that's six months. She looked.

1283
00:58:53,720 --> 00:58:55,480
Speaker 3: She did, she looked at a calendar.

1284
00:58:55,200 --> 00:58:58,480
Speaker 8: And with all miney mo, which one am I going

1285
00:58:58,560 --> 00:59:00,880
Speaker 8: to cause a problem on Yeah, Christmas?

1286
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:01,920
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

1287
00:59:02,480 --> 00:59:04,320
Speaker 3: There's a little bit more to the story of great.

1288
00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:06,560
Speaker 3: I never would have kept the kids from seeing her

1289
00:59:06,680 --> 00:59:10,040
Speaker 3: on Christmas. I agree, write a declaration on my computer,

1290
00:59:10,360 --> 00:59:12,479
Speaker 3: print it out and sign it, and send her a copy.

1291
00:59:12,600 --> 00:59:15,600
Speaker 3: She then responds with, yes, you can take them, details

1292
00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:17,360
Speaker 3: of when she'll drop them off and pick them up

1293
00:59:17,600 --> 00:59:20,720
Speaker 3: with the notion of this is ridiculous and both sides

1294
00:59:20,800 --> 00:59:23,160
Speaker 3: need to do better. She coerced me into signing a

1295
00:59:23,240 --> 00:59:26,120
Speaker 3: declaration so the kids don't miss out on an event.

1296
00:59:26,600 --> 00:59:30,959
Speaker 3: The declaration is immediately unenforceable because it was signed under

1297
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:33,800
Speaker 3: a dress coerced by her threat to withhold the kids

1298
00:59:33,840 --> 00:59:35,800
Speaker 3: from an event they knew I was taking them too.

1299
00:59:36,440 --> 00:59:39,000
Speaker 3: I'm so sick of her crap and that's all we get. Wait,

1300
00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:41,280
Speaker 3: can we see if there's another update for Oh my God,

1301
00:59:42,320 --> 00:59:46,560
Speaker 3: I just really would like one, So I was hoping

1302
00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:48,240
Speaker 3: that one of these updates are like, yeah, I have

1303
00:59:48,360 --> 00:59:50,880
Speaker 3: full custody of the kids and that's the end of

1304
00:59:50,960 --> 00:59:51,360
Speaker 3: this story.