1 00:00:02,759 --> 00:00:05,600 Speaker 1: Well, we're a little late start recording because you needed 2 00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:09,000 Speaker 1: to relocate what just happened. I feel like I was 3 00:00:09,119 --> 00:00:11,640 Speaker 1: very concerned. I literally thought to myself, is he having 4 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:14,239 Speaker 1: a stroke? Because of that text you sent me? Tell 5 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:15,480 Speaker 1: the listeners what's going on. 6 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:18,400 Speaker 2: So I'm at home in Virginia. My parents out at 7 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:21,720 Speaker 2: your parents so and you know, I live alone. 8 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:24,960 Speaker 1: So I also like very low, like it's like, are 9 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:26,280 Speaker 1: you worry they're going to hear you right now? 10 00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:30,320 Speaker 2: Well, I mean they're both hard at hearing, so probably not. Anyway, 11 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:32,040 Speaker 2: you know, I live alone, so I'm used to a 12 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:35,720 Speaker 2: controlled environment, and now that I'm home with them, my 13 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:38,559 Speaker 2: mom turns eighty on she will have turned eighty on 14 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:39,879 Speaker 2: Wednesday when this airs. 15 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 1: Yes, so it was on Friday. 16 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:45,120 Speaker 2: You're very right, right, So she yeah, she will have 17 00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:46,360 Speaker 2: already turned eighty. 18 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:50,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, birthday July night, Wednesday. 19 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:54,480 Speaker 2: So we're recording this early. And lover loved my parents' death. 20 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:59,040 Speaker 2: But they're they're in their eighties, they're old, and some 21 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:02,400 Speaker 2: things are just funny. And anyway, the internet's not a 22 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,399 Speaker 2: great to their house. So I'd set up in the 23 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:06,840 Speaker 2: dining room where it was gonna be quiet, and then 24 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:08,880 Speaker 2: the internet didn't reach there, and then I was like, 25 00:01:08,959 --> 00:01:11,480 Speaker 2: I'm move into this room, but my mom's oxygen machine's 26 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:16,400 Speaker 2: like and so now I'm hiding in my parents' bedroom 27 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 2: with my dogs locked upstairs so they're not bothering me. 28 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:24,480 Speaker 2: It's just a lot of noise, lots of young and 29 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:26,679 Speaker 2: the restless plan and elevel you know. 30 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:28,119 Speaker 3: On volume Alevel. 31 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:31,000 Speaker 2: But your stories though, to watch her stories my dad 32 00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:34,520 Speaker 2: today was so funny. They we were sitting at the table. 33 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:36,920 Speaker 2: I was working and he was eating some lunch, and 34 00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:39,800 Speaker 2: my mom was paying bill writing checks to pay bills. 35 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:44,520 Speaker 1: And it's love how you act like that's so insulting, 36 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:47,720 Speaker 1: Like your mom is being a law abiding citizens. 37 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:52,160 Speaker 3: In those checks. I think it's so funny that she's 38 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:53,280 Speaker 3: writing checks. 39 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:55,880 Speaker 1: It feels the same tone that you get when someone 40 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:58,840 Speaker 1: has a green text. You're kind of just so insulted 41 00:01:58,880 --> 00:01:59,200 Speaker 1: by it. 42 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:01,520 Speaker 3: Somebody sent me up. 43 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:04,600 Speaker 2: Well, I'll digress, but I made a funny green text 44 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:07,560 Speaker 2: joke the other day. But yeah, the clock it had 45 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:10,639 Speaker 2: turned from you know, twelve to fifty nine to one 46 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:13,560 Speaker 2: o'clock and they had been watching the news and then 47 00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:16,040 Speaker 2: Dad goes, ooh, we're on the wrong channel, and he 48 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:18,000 Speaker 2: switched it over to Young and the Restless for my 49 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:21,480 Speaker 2: mom's stories. And my mom like literally was like a 50 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:23,520 Speaker 2: kid with an iPad. She like looked up from her 51 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,640 Speaker 2: bills and was just like staring at the screen. 52 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:27,919 Speaker 3: I'm like, Mom, don't forget to be bills. 53 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:32,000 Speaker 1: It's so interesting though, because as much as we're laughing 54 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:35,200 Speaker 1: about this, we all do the same things. It's just 55 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,120 Speaker 1: our generation does it in a little bit of a 56 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:39,560 Speaker 1: different way. Like you just mentioned the iPad. That's the 57 00:02:39,639 --> 00:02:43,800 Speaker 1: younger generations for us. Maybe it's reality TV. Like someone 58 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:46,519 Speaker 1: could definitely turn on Love Island and I would be 59 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:49,720 Speaker 1: the same exact way. Oh god, what's happening. 60 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:52,919 Speaker 3: My Mom's in so deep on Young and the Restless 61 00:02:52,919 --> 00:02:55,440 Speaker 3: she's been watching. I mean, I'm almost family. 62 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:59,480 Speaker 1: She connected. They're her people. I'm like, I can't believe some. 63 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:01,160 Speaker 3: Of these actors are even still alive. 64 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:04,000 Speaker 1: I know, I know there was one recently a DAB, 65 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:06,399 Speaker 1: but I think it was a general hospital. So talk 66 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:09,320 Speaker 1: to Claudia, let me know if that was the role story. 67 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:10,679 Speaker 3: I'll find out. 68 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,080 Speaker 1: Make sure she's doing all right, and sure should as 69 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:16,120 Speaker 1: send her some condolences, some. 70 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:19,880 Speaker 2: Fake flowers so they last as long as her stories. 71 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:23,320 Speaker 1: Right, Well, it's very funny. Did you have a good 72 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:23,880 Speaker 1: fourth though? 73 00:03:23,919 --> 00:03:26,680 Speaker 3: I know you were did it was really really chill? 74 00:03:26,919 --> 00:03:27,840 Speaker 3: It was so chill. 75 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,440 Speaker 2: I mean I went there's a little town that's gotten 76 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:35,520 Speaker 2: pretty touristy near my house called Cape Charles, Virginia, and 77 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:39,520 Speaker 2: I mean it's a beautiful, like Chesapeake Bayside, like historic 78 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:40,120 Speaker 2: little town. 79 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,880 Speaker 3: It feels almost New England. Ye in a way. 80 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:43,680 Speaker 1: That's cool. 81 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:48,000 Speaker 2: It's really cute. And they had a pretty incredible fireworks display. 82 00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:49,680 Speaker 2: I was really shocked. I was like, where'd they get 83 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,800 Speaker 2: the budget for this? It was like thirty minutes long 84 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:53,440 Speaker 2: and like legit fireworks. 85 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:54,160 Speaker 1: Yeah. 86 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:55,640 Speaker 2: So I went down and watched that on the beach 87 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:58,280 Speaker 2: with some friends and yeah, pretty chill. 88 00:03:58,320 --> 00:03:58,920 Speaker 3: How about yours? 89 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,200 Speaker 1: It was great? I mean, you know, we were working. 90 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:04,000 Speaker 1: I had dirts at the Downtown Nashville show. And I 91 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:07,640 Speaker 1: gotta say, Nashville is like the number two in the 92 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:10,640 Speaker 1: number two city in the nation. I think at fireworks 93 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:13,480 Speaker 1: and every year I am just blown away. I mean 94 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:17,840 Speaker 1: it's unbelievable. Honestly, I had to leave halfway through. This 95 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:21,120 Speaker 1: is so like impath shit. I know my listeners will 96 00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:23,680 Speaker 1: relate if they have heard me talk about this. At all, 97 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:27,279 Speaker 1: but we were so close because of where we were standing, 98 00:04:27,279 --> 00:04:28,919 Speaker 1: like because it was all on the river front, you know, 99 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:30,720 Speaker 1: and because we had done the show, then we just 100 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:31,520 Speaker 1: walked down. 101 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:34,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, they moved the stage closer to the river this year. Yeah, 102 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:36,080 Speaker 2: everything Broadway. 103 00:04:35,839 --> 00:04:39,000 Speaker 1: Everything was right there, right on the river, downtown Nashville. 104 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:41,960 Speaker 1: And so when the fireworks started, like the fireworks go 105 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:44,920 Speaker 1: up over the river, that's where they're done. And so 106 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:48,120 Speaker 1: we're standing there like at the side of the river, 107 00:04:48,279 --> 00:04:51,200 Speaker 1: and it was basically like they were happening right above me, 108 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:54,720 Speaker 1: if that makes sense. But it was so loud and 109 00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:58,680 Speaker 1: so overstimulating because it sounds like cannon's going off. And 110 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:00,760 Speaker 1: I don't know if this is like the programming and 111 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:04,440 Speaker 1: my brain of mass events and like all the shootings 112 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,760 Speaker 1: we've had or whatever, but I started to like panic 113 00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:09,400 Speaker 1: a little bit just hearing these noises. And then like 114 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:13,600 Speaker 1: there was three hundred and sixty five thousand people downtown, 115 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:17,360 Speaker 1: which is crazy crazy, you know how in with crowds too. 116 00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:20,520 Speaker 1: So it was literally the combination of all things that 117 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:24,120 Speaker 1: my little impath body cannot take. And then so I'm. 118 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:25,680 Speaker 3: Like probably've been down there all day too. 119 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:28,039 Speaker 1: Yeah, and it was hot, you know, but it was beautiful, 120 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:29,520 Speaker 1: Like I loved it, but I was just like I 121 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:31,880 Speaker 1: got to get out before traffic, and I was driving 122 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:33,719 Speaker 1: one of our friends home too, and so she and 123 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:36,599 Speaker 1: I left ten minutes into the fireworks show. Like I thought, 124 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:39,080 Speaker 1: all right, we'll be good. Well, this one cop decided 125 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:40,919 Speaker 1: we couldn't go through this road, so we sat in 126 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:43,960 Speaker 1: traffic for an hour. So it went from being over 127 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,800 Speaker 1: stimulated in that capacity to then sitting in traffic for 128 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,840 Speaker 1: an hour trying to leave. We made the best of it. 129 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,960 Speaker 1: We used it as like a catch up session in 130 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,520 Speaker 1: the car. We were actually texting with you some. But 131 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:57,560 Speaker 1: it was a lot for my little body. So then 132 00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,040 Speaker 1: the next day I was just exhausted. 133 00:05:59,200 --> 00:05:59,440 Speaker 3: Yeah. 134 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, Though I used to like shame the shit out 135 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:04,240 Speaker 1: of myself for that stuff, and now I'm just like, no, 136 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:07,280 Speaker 1: this is just me. And there's certain things that are 137 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:10,719 Speaker 1: amazing experiences. I'm so grateful that I get to do them, 138 00:06:11,279 --> 00:06:13,760 Speaker 1: and sometimes I get a little bit overwhelmed, like it 139 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:16,560 Speaker 1: happens all at a ward shows too. I really struggle also. 140 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:20,760 Speaker 2: Like fireworks, it's not like I mean, they're just a moment. 141 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:23,800 Speaker 2: It's not like you're gonna like regret missing the. 142 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,080 Speaker 1: Well we watched from the car it actually. 143 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:28,560 Speaker 2: Have any fifth explosion. You know, you're not gonna like 144 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:31,480 Speaker 2: it's kind of like it's a nostalgia thing. You're like, Oh, Okay, 145 00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:33,000 Speaker 2: I saw enough, I'm done. 146 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:37,320 Speaker 1: I will say I have always loved fireworks, like from Afar. 147 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:40,080 Speaker 1: To me, it's just so beautiful and it kind of 148 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:43,680 Speaker 1: gives me that same emotion that I get when I 149 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:46,239 Speaker 1: stand next to the ocean, like you feel really small, 150 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:48,560 Speaker 1: you know, And I just find them to for some reason. 151 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:51,520 Speaker 1: It's not like it's like a natural thing like a 152 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:55,120 Speaker 1: mountain or an ocean or anything that the universe created 153 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:57,120 Speaker 1: and so I can like have a moment with God. 154 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,520 Speaker 1: But for some reason, it kind of stimulates that in me. 155 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:01,520 Speaker 1: And I don't know if it's just like they're so big, 156 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:07,320 Speaker 1: but they're also so beautiful, Like Nashville's truly are insanely gorgeous. 157 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:10,240 Speaker 2: What shocks me is like when they take certain shapes 158 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:11,760 Speaker 2: and stuff, You're like, how did they do that? 159 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:14,200 Speaker 1: Oh my god? They were doing stuff with drones, like 160 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:18,320 Speaker 1: they wrote out Nashville and drones. They had this whole 161 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:22,680 Speaker 1: tribute to the military in drones. It was just I mean, 162 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:23,760 Speaker 1: it was unbelievable. 163 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,520 Speaker 3: I just I don't know how. 164 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:27,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, it had to be a lot of money, but 165 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 1: I truly don't know how they did it. So props 166 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:31,800 Speaker 1: to Nashville for your amazing show. I'm sorry that I 167 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:33,000 Speaker 1: had to watch from a car. 168 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:37,120 Speaker 2: I hope you they should be apologizing to you for 169 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:39,000 Speaker 2: making you send in your car for an hour. 170 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:43,280 Speaker 1: Anyway, I loved my podcast on Wednesday, and I was 171 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:45,160 Speaker 1: just filling you in on it, and we just thought 172 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:47,360 Speaker 1: we don't even need to come up with a new 173 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:50,240 Speaker 1: theme because these topics are so interesting and I really 174 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:53,000 Speaker 1: wanted to get your take because first of all, it 175 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:56,760 Speaker 1: was with this author and professor at Georgetown University. She's 176 00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:59,640 Speaker 1: also a journalist. Her name's Kelly Coyne. And if you 177 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:03,400 Speaker 1: haven't that podcast yet, I just find it fascinating. You know, 178 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:05,280 Speaker 1: There's a couple of different things going through my head 179 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:09,720 Speaker 1: because I'm a very curious person and I always want 180 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:13,280 Speaker 1: to talk about other options. I don't find it like 181 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:17,040 Speaker 1: intimidating or overwhelming or weird, you know, like I just 182 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:19,440 Speaker 1: like to see what how are different people living their lives. 183 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:22,080 Speaker 1: I find that fascinating. Doesn't mean I'm going to go 184 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:25,120 Speaker 1: live my life in one particular way or another. But 185 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,760 Speaker 1: I just find it interesting to like have different takes 186 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:31,600 Speaker 1: or different options and just have variation. Let's just put 187 00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:33,960 Speaker 1: it that way. And I know a lot of other 188 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:35,960 Speaker 1: people are just other people. I don't know if it's 189 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:39,320 Speaker 1: a lot can feel overwhelmed by that or intimidated or 190 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:42,280 Speaker 1: it scares them that there would be all these other 191 00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:45,960 Speaker 1: variations of how to live life. And so I found 192 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,240 Speaker 1: this to be an interesting topic because I wondered what 193 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:51,640 Speaker 1: it brought up in people, Like do people look at 194 00:08:51,679 --> 00:08:53,480 Speaker 1: it like I do, and like they're just thinking this 195 00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:56,920 Speaker 1: is fascinating or does it scare people? And I know 196 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,120 Speaker 1: a lot of the talks in the last this is 197 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:02,360 Speaker 1: probably since the new presidency, but I have felt a 198 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:06,440 Speaker 1: lot of talks about getting back to like, you know, 199 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:09,200 Speaker 1: the marriage unit as it used to be and the 200 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:11,320 Speaker 1: family unit as it used to be. So I know 201 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:13,760 Speaker 1: that's very important to a lot of people right now too. 202 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:16,240 Speaker 1: So I don't know, it's just like a very interesting 203 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:21,240 Speaker 1: concept to me. I really like these ideas and topics, 204 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:23,959 Speaker 1: but I know some people might not. So we'll hit 205 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,760 Speaker 1: you up with all the ways to contact us at 206 00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:28,240 Speaker 1: the end, obviously, but I would be really curious what 207 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:30,439 Speaker 1: you guys think about this one. But anyway, Kelly Coyn 208 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:33,400 Speaker 1: wrote these articles for New York Times in Washington Post, 209 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:36,640 Speaker 1: and there's three different articles that we talked about. One 210 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:40,240 Speaker 1: was they're all about like marriage in different ways to 211 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:43,600 Speaker 1: be married, but one was married couples who live in 212 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:46,840 Speaker 1: different houses. The other was married couples who sleep in 213 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:49,360 Speaker 1: different bedrooms, and the other one, the third one was 214 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:54,040 Speaker 1: stay at home dat's And they're all like very interesting. 215 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,640 Speaker 1: They're not like, oh my god, I can't believe people 216 00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,640 Speaker 1: do that. I do think the living in different houses 217 00:09:58,679 --> 00:10:01,000 Speaker 1: maybe could be one, like, but I know a lot 218 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:03,640 Speaker 1: of people who sleep in different bedrooms. The stay at 219 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:06,040 Speaker 1: home dad things seems like it's becoming more popular or 220 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,880 Speaker 1: more common. I would say, yeah, I just thought I 221 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:11,560 Speaker 1: had such an interesting conversation with her about it because 222 00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:14,360 Speaker 1: none of them were like offensive to me. But you 223 00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:16,160 Speaker 1: know what I thought was really interesting and why I 224 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,480 Speaker 1: wanted to really pick your brain about it was she 225 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:23,120 Speaker 1: credits the queer community with kind of like establishing different 226 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:26,320 Speaker 1: ways you could be married, because obviously, like two gay 227 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:29,720 Speaker 1: men being married, one possibly could be a stay at 228 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:31,920 Speaker 1: home dad, you know, like that could have been where 229 00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:35,720 Speaker 1: that kind of idea came about or I can't remember 230 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:37,840 Speaker 1: the other references she was saying, but we used that 231 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:40,720 Speaker 1: a lot, and she really really kind of credits the 232 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:43,439 Speaker 1: gay community. Again, I think some people might punish the 233 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:46,960 Speaker 1: gay community, right, So it's very interesting. It's like I 234 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:50,079 Speaker 1: think people seem to see through those two different lenses, 235 00:10:50,679 --> 00:10:50,880 Speaker 1: you know. 236 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:53,040 Speaker 2: Like I said earlier, I'm at home with my parents, 237 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:57,839 Speaker 2: so they're obviously from an older generation, and my mom, 238 00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:00,520 Speaker 2: you know, grabbing this big party, and she's asking me 239 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:04,959 Speaker 2: all about the people that are coming, and it's all like, well. 240 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:07,400 Speaker 3: Is she married, does she have a kid? Does? 241 00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:07,960 Speaker 1: Yeah? 242 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:10,240 Speaker 3: It's like, well, why did they get divorced? 243 00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:12,480 Speaker 2: I thought they were so happy, and it's like it's 244 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:15,760 Speaker 2: all very black and white to her. And I find 245 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:19,160 Speaker 2: myself getting even annoyed by the questions because a there's 246 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:20,760 Speaker 2: no depth to it, and I'm like, can we just 247 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:24,640 Speaker 2: talk about something real? But in terms of this conversation, 248 00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:27,640 Speaker 2: I thought it was really interesting that that's what I've 249 00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:30,360 Speaker 2: been experiencing this week when I'm home with them, and 250 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,000 Speaker 2: I think a lot of it just has to do 251 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:36,559 Speaker 2: with societal roles in the way that society has been 252 00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:40,800 Speaker 2: set up and if you think about human civilization, we 253 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:43,960 Speaker 2: haven't been around that long, and it hasn't even been 254 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:49,240 Speaker 2: organized that long either, So I think it's really interesting 255 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:52,080 Speaker 2: that in our lifetime that we are sort of seeing 256 00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:56,679 Speaker 2: new normals be born, because just because it's a way 257 00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:58,880 Speaker 2: that something has been done for a long time doesn't 258 00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:01,960 Speaker 2: mean that it's necessary the right way. But we've been 259 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,080 Speaker 2: trained to think that things are the right way, and 260 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:06,520 Speaker 2: I think my mother is a perfect example of it, 261 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,240 Speaker 2: Like she would never be able to wrap her head 262 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:12,680 Speaker 2: around the idea of not living in the same house 263 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:14,720 Speaker 2: with her husband or sleeping in the same bed, even 264 00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:16,640 Speaker 2: though like when I was growing up, my grandparents slept 265 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:20,120 Speaker 2: in separate beds, and well, I never asked why. 266 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:24,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, the interesting thing is we talked about that because 267 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:28,240 Speaker 1: Kelly took me back into history, which if you really 268 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:30,280 Speaker 1: think about it, like, of course the royals is who 269 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:33,439 Speaker 1: I think of immediately because I'm obsessed with the royal right, 270 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:37,559 Speaker 1: but the king and queens they sleep in different bedrooms. 271 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:40,440 Speaker 1: They have their different suites and they're across from each other, 272 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:42,840 Speaker 1: but like they don't sleep in the same bedroom typically, 273 00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:45,800 Speaker 1: or if they did, there would be two twin beds. 274 00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:49,440 Speaker 1: You know, and it was like, that's historically actually what happened. 275 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:53,040 Speaker 1: And I'm blanking right now, but Kelly told me the 276 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:55,760 Speaker 1: reason that evolved, and I think maybe it was like 277 00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:58,040 Speaker 1: cost a fish. Oh no, I know what it was. 278 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:02,839 Speaker 1: It was during the war when men came back, we 279 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:06,600 Speaker 1: were so underpopulated, and so it became this thing that 280 00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:08,480 Speaker 1: was encouraged to sleep in the same bed, so there 281 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:11,240 Speaker 1: were more babies produced. I'm pretty sure that's what she said. 282 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:12,120 Speaker 3: That makes sense. 283 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:15,120 Speaker 1: That makes sense, right, So when your parents were coming up, 284 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:17,960 Speaker 1: they were probably right in that, like that was really 285 00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:21,800 Speaker 1: being pushed for, you know, a couple generations before them, 286 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,640 Speaker 1: and that became the norm. But I think what I 287 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:28,520 Speaker 1: like with what you said about there being a right way, 288 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:31,160 Speaker 1: that's the thing that bothers me. And that's always kind 289 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:33,640 Speaker 1: of bothered me. And I'm sure, you know, there's a 290 00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:36,079 Speaker 1: lot part of it because my life hasn't looked like that, 291 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:39,960 Speaker 1: But I've definitely dealt with the pressures that women face 292 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:44,040 Speaker 1: about getting married and having kids so much so that like, 293 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,840 Speaker 1: for basically it felt like my whole thirties, I felt 294 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:49,760 Speaker 1: so much pressure that I almost lost what I even 295 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:51,880 Speaker 1: cared about or what I wanted and it. 296 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:56,079 Speaker 3: Just start like I don't want kids. People would be like, well. 297 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:58,480 Speaker 1: Why yeah, And the thing was is I never knew 298 00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:00,800 Speaker 1: if I did want kids, right, but I needed to 299 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:04,720 Speaker 1: find that on clarity within myself. But I definitely resonate 300 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:07,080 Speaker 1: with feeling the pressure of it and that that comes 301 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,920 Speaker 1: from a lot of different ways with women, because there's 302 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:11,760 Speaker 1: the physical aspect in our age, and like when you 303 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:14,360 Speaker 1: go to the gynecologists a twenty thirty five, they really 304 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:17,280 Speaker 1: start pressuring you thirty five but that's not that old, 305 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:19,240 Speaker 1: but they really start pressuring you because you'll be in 306 00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:23,520 Speaker 1: a geriatric pregnancy from then on, which is wild as 307 00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:27,240 Speaker 1: well terminology wise, But yeah, anyway, I just felt the pressure. 308 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:29,720 Speaker 1: And being from the South too, it's like you feel 309 00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:33,000 Speaker 1: so much pressure that if you're not married, especially as 310 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,280 Speaker 1: a woman, like what's wrong with you? You know, that kind 311 00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:37,320 Speaker 1: of thing. And it's like, I think what I'm really 312 00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:40,200 Speaker 1: enjoying about these kind of conversations is that it's opening 313 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,840 Speaker 1: up our brains to the fact that like, none of 314 00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:45,800 Speaker 1: us are wired the same and we've lived, we've started 315 00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:48,920 Speaker 1: to live in this culture that just you know, they 316 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,880 Speaker 1: give us this one path as the right way I'm 317 00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:55,040 Speaker 1: doing air quotes, and that's what we're all supposed to 318 00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:58,240 Speaker 1: do to quote unquote live a successful life. And it's like, no, 319 00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:02,080 Speaker 1: you're supposed to live your life the way that you 320 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:05,240 Speaker 1: feel fit, that it goes right to you, that feels 321 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:08,040 Speaker 1: true to you, authentic to you, and no one else 322 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:10,800 Speaker 1: can really map that out for you anyway, right. 323 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:15,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, And look, also, circumstances are really different for everybody. 324 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,680 Speaker 2: Like if you take a couple in New York and 325 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:22,560 Speaker 2: a couple in Virginia. Yeah, real estate alone is a 326 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:25,440 Speaker 2: factor in New York City. Like if Kelly and I 327 00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:27,760 Speaker 2: met each other and started dating, like Kelly could have 328 00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:30,160 Speaker 2: a rent control department that's a one bedroom she's paying 329 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:32,680 Speaker 2: twelve hundred dollars a month for, or I could out 330 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:35,680 Speaker 2: I could have a certain thing too, and then like, oh, 331 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:37,640 Speaker 2: we're gonna get married, let's find a two bedroom and 332 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:39,960 Speaker 2: next thing, you know, our rent six thousand dollars a month. 333 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,640 Speaker 3: It just doesn't work right. 334 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:43,840 Speaker 2: So, I mean I think that there are factors like 335 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:47,440 Speaker 2: that that like sometimes you just have to be like, hey, 336 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:51,280 Speaker 2: this works for us, get the fuck out of our business, 337 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:54,920 Speaker 2: you know. And and I think the more that people 338 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:56,800 Speaker 2: do that and obviously you don't have to say it 339 00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:59,480 Speaker 2: with that sort of arrogant tone, but like that's kind 340 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:02,320 Speaker 2: of where my head goes in those situations. 341 00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:03,920 Speaker 3: It's like, don't. 342 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:05,680 Speaker 2: Stop judging me by the way that you want to 343 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:07,920 Speaker 2: live your life. You live your life the way that 344 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:10,320 Speaker 2: you want, and I'm not going to care and I'm 345 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:11,400 Speaker 2: going to live my life. 346 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:12,040 Speaker 3: The way that I want. 347 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:15,640 Speaker 2: And as long as nobody's hurting anybody else, then we 348 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:16,560 Speaker 2: should all be cool. 349 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:18,960 Speaker 3: And so I do love. 350 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:22,200 Speaker 2: To see that these articles are coming out because that 351 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:25,040 Speaker 2: will help sort of normalize things. I mean, remember the 352 00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:28,200 Speaker 2: movie mister Mom, Oh Yes, when We Were Killed? 353 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:33,000 Speaker 1: Like she actually bought that up, because even the title itself, yeah, 354 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:35,280 Speaker 1: indicates that the mom should be the one doing that 355 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:48,400 Speaker 1: job right space for like every couple being different. Maybe 356 00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:52,240 Speaker 1: the woman wanted to build a business and you know, 357 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,640 Speaker 1: works for herself and doesn't have the time to be 358 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:56,760 Speaker 1: the stay at home mom, but the dad is really 359 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:59,440 Speaker 1: great in that role. Like we don't know people. 360 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:02,480 Speaker 2: So yeah, Like I mean, because it could also just 361 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:05,679 Speaker 2: be just sort of like if someone grew up as 362 00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:09,359 Speaker 2: an only child and like never really thought about wanting 363 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:12,480 Speaker 2: kids or like never played with dolls, I'm talking about 364 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:15,040 Speaker 2: like a female grew up only child, never played with dolls, 365 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,919 Speaker 2: didn't have any of that conditioning, but had like a 366 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:21,800 Speaker 2: super entrepreneurial like came from an entrepreneurial family and falls 367 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:23,480 Speaker 2: in love with this guy that like wants to have 368 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:27,040 Speaker 2: kids and blah blah blah. Maybe he is more equipped 369 00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:30,040 Speaker 2: to take on that caregiver role because that was something 370 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,960 Speaker 2: that he envisioned for his life. Yeah, and they don't 371 00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:36,639 Speaker 2: owe an explanation to anyone but themselves and their children. 372 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:39,280 Speaker 2: But I could see, you know, people like my mother 373 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:40,520 Speaker 2: being very judgmental of that. 374 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:43,359 Speaker 1: Well, I think the people like you're talking about you 375 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,639 Speaker 1: keep referencing your mom, but like, there's a lot of 376 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:48,600 Speaker 1: people who have just become so conditioned to that as 377 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:51,240 Speaker 1: the norm that I think that is truly what their 378 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:54,680 Speaker 1: brain believes is success. And it's interesting because I think 379 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:57,920 Speaker 1: we miss what true success is, which is just happiness 380 00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:02,000 Speaker 1: and peace right so often because of that, Like I 381 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:04,840 Speaker 1: gave the example of my boyfriend and I and like, 382 00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:07,320 Speaker 1: you know, again, I think the bigger picture here is 383 00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:10,439 Speaker 1: we were so uncomfortable just living in the present moment, 384 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:13,840 Speaker 1: in allowing space to just be happy and at peace 385 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,440 Speaker 1: that we always have to be chasing the next thing, 386 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,320 Speaker 1: and like, you know, my boyfriend lives in Charleston. I 387 00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:22,640 Speaker 1: talk about that all the time. And yeah, initially when 388 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:24,600 Speaker 1: we were dating, we've been together two years now, and 389 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:27,879 Speaker 1: you know, when we were initially dating, we had to 390 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:30,160 Speaker 1: kind of talk about like once we started to realize, Okay, 391 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:32,680 Speaker 1: this is real, like we had to start talking about 392 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:35,159 Speaker 1: what that would look like. And so we do have 393 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:38,920 Speaker 1: those conversations. It's not like we're not having those conversations. However, 394 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,159 Speaker 1: he moved to a different place in Charleston. That was 395 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:42,879 Speaker 1: kind of why we first initially talked about it, but 396 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:44,960 Speaker 1: because we weren't ready to make the big moves then, 397 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:47,840 Speaker 1: because you have to think about that, like yal act 398 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:50,199 Speaker 1: so casual about what it would be, but it's like 399 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:53,720 Speaker 1: you're completely giving up an entire life and identity. So 400 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:56,480 Speaker 1: it's a big deal to have those moves. So we 401 00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,480 Speaker 1: talked talked about it. Then we weren't quite ready, so 402 00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:00,639 Speaker 1: he did a kind of temporary situation, but he'd move 403 00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:04,439 Speaker 1: locations of Charleston, and it's brought in this thing for 404 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,040 Speaker 1: both of us where because he's downtown now and it's 405 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:09,480 Speaker 1: like we both are obsessed with that city, like I'm 406 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:13,240 Speaker 1: obsessed with Charleston. I literally count down the days till 407 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:15,280 Speaker 1: I can get there. I love it. It reminds me kind 408 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:17,600 Speaker 1: of what Nashville used to be a little bit more, 409 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:20,000 Speaker 1: you know, like we've gotten so big in Nashville. It 410 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:23,320 Speaker 1: feels more like an La vibe here and it used 411 00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:26,720 Speaker 1: to have these little quaint situations and a lot of character. 412 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:28,920 Speaker 1: And there's still some of that, but not as much 413 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,639 Speaker 1: and I miss that. And so anyway, I'm saying all 414 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:34,480 Speaker 1: that to say, though, like we're having the conversations we 415 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:37,719 Speaker 1: both kind of found this new love for Charleston, and 416 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:41,600 Speaker 1: so our conversations have been more like, Okay, wait, do 417 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,040 Speaker 1: we want for him to make the big move and 418 00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:47,440 Speaker 1: come here like full time to where we're never going 419 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:50,480 Speaker 1: to Charleston? No, not really, So how do we figure 420 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:54,399 Speaker 1: this out to be together more but still have you know, 421 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:57,919 Speaker 1: places in houses in both places and like you know, 422 00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,720 Speaker 1: figuring that out financially and all the things. But that's 423 00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:03,560 Speaker 1: what sounds exciting to me, that's what really lights me 424 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,960 Speaker 1: up and lights him up, and what we're happy with. 425 00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:11,199 Speaker 1: But you would be shocked by how like the first 426 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:13,399 Speaker 1: question people ask me when I talk about how happy 427 00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:15,199 Speaker 1: I am in this relationship is, well, when is he 428 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:17,600 Speaker 1: gonna move? And it's like, wait, let's take a beat, 429 00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:19,800 Speaker 1: just be happy, Like. 430 00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:22,320 Speaker 2: Well, I mean, the thing is is like in the 431 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,640 Speaker 2: relationship the way that you all have it structured now 432 00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:28,760 Speaker 2: is you both retain a lot of independence. And I 433 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,560 Speaker 2: know what he does and it takes him away from 434 00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:33,480 Speaker 2: home for a while at certain times, and yeah, you 435 00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:37,520 Speaker 2: have a very unpredictable schedule, absolutely, and it leaves that 436 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,680 Speaker 2: like if you were to move there or he moves here, 437 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,720 Speaker 2: and then you all have to like he goes off 438 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:46,800 Speaker 2: on a work a work trip, or you have something 439 00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:49,800 Speaker 2: that like takes you out for a week, It's like, well, 440 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:51,400 Speaker 2: what's the point in that when you. 441 00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:54,600 Speaker 1: Can be a part anyway with our joby, so. 442 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,879 Speaker 2: You could you could put and now you have a 443 00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:59,840 Speaker 2: situation where it's like it sort of extends that like 444 00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,720 Speaker 2: the dating feeling where it's like you have to plan 445 00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:06,520 Speaker 2: ahead and you get excited and then you miss each 446 00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:09,840 Speaker 2: other more and those sorts of things like and missing 447 00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:15,240 Speaker 2: yes is not necessarily thought to be like a positive feeling. 448 00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:17,239 Speaker 2: I think it's great, But I think it is a 449 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:21,119 Speaker 2: great feeling because when you reunite, it's. 450 00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:24,440 Speaker 3: So much better. Yeah, we have on top of each 451 00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:25,679 Speaker 3: other all the time. 452 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:27,959 Speaker 2: Like you don't miss each other, well, they get you 453 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,159 Speaker 2: miss each other when you go to work for the day. No. 454 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,040 Speaker 1: Well, And you're making so many good points about our 455 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:35,679 Speaker 1: relationships specifically, And I think this is exactly what we 456 00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:39,600 Speaker 1: were talking about in reference to we don't know anyone's story, right, 457 00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:41,560 Speaker 1: Like he and I both have to travel a lot 458 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:46,200 Speaker 1: for work individually. So let's say, for instance, he moves here, Well, 459 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:48,880 Speaker 1: so he gives up all his friends in Charleston and 460 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:52,240 Speaker 1: say I'm gone all the time. I mean, we both 461 00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:55,479 Speaker 1: have a good mentality of like creating happiness wherever we 462 00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:57,280 Speaker 1: are and what the circumstances are. So I know he 463 00:21:57,320 --> 00:22:00,199 Speaker 1: would be happy and find his place and whatever. But 464 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:02,399 Speaker 1: it's also like, well, if I'm in a busy season, 465 00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:04,199 Speaker 1: why can't he just be in the life that he 466 00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:08,359 Speaker 1: loves in Charleston, you know, with his friends and his 467 00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:12,640 Speaker 1: set up like community, Like does that make sense? 468 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:15,520 Speaker 2: Or like if he's because he's going to blame you, guys, 469 00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:18,200 Speaker 2: He's going to blame you for his unhappiness exactly. 470 00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:22,080 Speaker 1: There's such a recipe for resentment in that dynamic and 471 00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:24,280 Speaker 1: the only reason we would be doing it. I'm not 472 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:27,080 Speaker 1: saying we never will, but for right now, the only 473 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:30,119 Speaker 1: reason we would be doing it is for other people's 474 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,040 Speaker 1: opinions of what it should look like to have a 475 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:34,320 Speaker 1: successful relationship. 476 00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:34,680 Speaker 3: Right. 477 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:37,160 Speaker 1: And then I'm looking around and I'm like, you're telling 478 00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,399 Speaker 1: me how to live my life, but you don't seem happy. 479 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:43,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean more than fifty percent of marriages today 480 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,280 Speaker 2: are ending in divorce. Yeah, So what does that tell 481 00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:48,000 Speaker 2: you about the old social norms? 482 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:51,680 Speaker 1: Right? Like, maybe they't work in anymore, right, Or it's 483 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:54,040 Speaker 1: not that it won't work for everyone, like I do 484 00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:56,520 Speaker 1: believe there are some people who really thrive in those dimo. 485 00:22:57,440 --> 00:22:59,959 Speaker 1: I'm just asking not to be judged if that's not 486 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:01,080 Speaker 1: the way that works for me. 487 00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:01,840 Speaker 3: Right. 488 00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:06,160 Speaker 1: And that has changed a lot of things too, because 489 00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:07,240 Speaker 1: you know, we used to live in a. 490 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:12,120 Speaker 2: World that was a lot smaller, where all you really knew. Yes, 491 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:14,359 Speaker 2: there was national news stories and we would see them 492 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:17,480 Speaker 2: on television. I mean, but like I was alive, You 493 00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:20,240 Speaker 2: and I were both alive when we didn't have cable yet, 494 00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:24,040 Speaker 2: Like it didn't exist, So the national news was just 495 00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:27,040 Speaker 2: the three major stations, and then you had local news, 496 00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,159 Speaker 2: so it's like the world was a lot smaller, so 497 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:33,080 Speaker 2: it made sense that like people would sort of stay 498 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,560 Speaker 2: close to home and want to be closer. But now 499 00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:37,840 Speaker 2: it's like I'm in Birdsneth, Virginia, and I can know 500 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:40,800 Speaker 2: what's going on in Bangladesh now because of the Internet, 501 00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:42,800 Speaker 2: so and like want. 502 00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:45,560 Speaker 3: To go time lot, Like it's there. 503 00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,640 Speaker 2: There's so many ways to be connected, but there's also 504 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:50,280 Speaker 2: a million reasons to be pulled away from what your 505 00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:50,919 Speaker 2: norm is. 506 00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:54,080 Speaker 3: And I think that you. 507 00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,960 Speaker 2: Know, in order to have a successful relationship, you have 508 00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:59,719 Speaker 2: to be able to like tap into that your independence 509 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:03,679 Speaker 2: and your freedom, and there's so many things calling to 510 00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:05,480 Speaker 2: our freedom now, you know, like you want to get 511 00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:08,000 Speaker 2: on a plane and go somewhere. And it's like if 512 00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:11,359 Speaker 2: you're tied to the structure of no I have to 513 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:14,600 Speaker 2: be at home with my significant other all the time 514 00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:17,760 Speaker 2: if I'm not at work, then that's an anchor to 515 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:20,520 Speaker 2: your life, I think, you know, and it's it seems 516 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:21,359 Speaker 2: really unhealthy. 517 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:22,560 Speaker 3: Whereas like if. 518 00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:24,560 Speaker 2: You were like, Hey, I want to go to Florida 519 00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:26,920 Speaker 2: this weekend, are you free to come with me? Then 520 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:29,240 Speaker 2: it could be an exciting adventure for you guys or 521 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:30,959 Speaker 2: it's just something that you get to go do and 522 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:32,600 Speaker 2: like feed your soul. 523 00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:35,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, well you said that you felt like that certain 524 00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:37,959 Speaker 1: mentality where you're tied to your house or whatever being 525 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:39,359 Speaker 1: a healthy I don't know if I agree with that, 526 00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:41,160 Speaker 1: because I think it's like the opposite of what we're 527 00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:42,919 Speaker 1: trying to say. I don't know if it's unhealthy. I 528 00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:45,359 Speaker 1: just know it won't work for me, right, Whereas like 529 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,840 Speaker 1: for some people that is what they need or what 530 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:51,240 Speaker 1: they want and works for their family. And I remember 531 00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:54,439 Speaker 1: when I was younger, probably like late twenties, and I 532 00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:58,720 Speaker 1: the only way that I knew to not do what 533 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:01,280 Speaker 1: I didn't want to do was to kind of hate 534 00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:03,720 Speaker 1: on the people doing it, like hate on people getting 535 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:07,719 Speaker 1: married or hate on people having kids, and like you know, 536 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:10,040 Speaker 1: the ick I got from the pressure I was putting. 537 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:12,119 Speaker 1: And the reality is is like I don't want to 538 00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:14,080 Speaker 1: go back and hate on the other side either, because 539 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:16,600 Speaker 1: it's like it's the same thing we talk about politically, 540 00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:20,359 Speaker 1: like it's what works for them, Like it's truly yes. 541 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:23,600 Speaker 1: But I think what I'm so grateful for with these 542 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:26,359 Speaker 1: kind of articles and just the conversation I was able 543 00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:30,040 Speaker 1: to have with Kelly is just that there's actually scientific 544 00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:33,800 Speaker 1: research that you know, says why this kind of system 545 00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:37,320 Speaker 1: would work. There's people living this out that it's working for. 546 00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:40,000 Speaker 1: And not to say that that should be across the board. 547 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,600 Speaker 1: That's not what I think the scientific research says. I'm 548 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:46,040 Speaker 1: just saying there is proof that for certain people, the 549 00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:50,040 Speaker 1: current setup of this is the way you live and 550 00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:53,240 Speaker 1: that's how you find success is just not going to work. 551 00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:57,399 Speaker 1: Like it's just that's not the reality for everyone. And 552 00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:00,840 Speaker 1: I think it's so important that we hold space for 553 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:05,480 Speaker 1: variation and differences, and that's what makes our country beautiful. 554 00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:07,520 Speaker 1: I mean, there's so many I don't even know how 555 00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:09,000 Speaker 1: many people live in America. 556 00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:11,600 Speaker 2: Like three hundred and fifty million or something. It's actually 557 00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:14,280 Speaker 2: quite small compared to some of the bigger. 558 00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:16,800 Speaker 1: Nations, like three hundred and fifty million people. Though, how 559 00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:19,800 Speaker 1: in the how in the world are you going to say, hey, 560 00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:22,440 Speaker 1: you better get married and have kids and think that 561 00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:24,880 Speaker 1: that's going to be what works for everyone. Everyone comes, 562 00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:28,560 Speaker 1: they're a different background, they have different priorities in their lives, 563 00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:31,879 Speaker 1: they're wired differently, Like, how are we assuming that we 564 00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:32,880 Speaker 1: just know how things. 565 00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:34,560 Speaker 3: Should be In the gay community. 566 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:38,920 Speaker 2: I'm seeing it becoming much more normalized to be married 567 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:44,719 Speaker 2: but in an open relationship. Oh and to me, and 568 00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,560 Speaker 2: I have no judgment for it, because that actually sounds 569 00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:49,479 Speaker 2: like it would be really fun to just you know, 570 00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:51,280 Speaker 2: have your cake and eat it too all the time. 571 00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:53,400 Speaker 1: That's such a body mentality. 572 00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:54,280 Speaker 3: But I don't. 573 00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:55,920 Speaker 2: But I don't think it would work for me because 574 00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:58,840 Speaker 2: of I would be too jealous and I would I 575 00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:02,320 Speaker 2: would feel shunned. But I am seeing a lot more 576 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:06,040 Speaker 2: of that in the community. And what's funny too, is like, 577 00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:08,520 Speaker 2: if you know, I put on my like sort of 578 00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:12,120 Speaker 2: historical patriarchal hat, it would be like, why the fuck 579 00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:14,480 Speaker 2: would we fight to get married just to like not 580 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:17,560 Speaker 2: really be married. But the thing is, I think, you know, 581 00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:20,480 Speaker 2: marriage means different things to different people. And it's like, 582 00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:22,600 Speaker 2: if you find your best friend that you want to 583 00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:26,320 Speaker 2: grow old and die with, then by all means married. 584 00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:28,960 Speaker 2: That should be what the marriage is based on. And 585 00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:32,359 Speaker 2: obviously you're you're building a family, or you're building a 586 00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:35,280 Speaker 2: business together, or you're building whatever it is within the 587 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:39,520 Speaker 2: walls of your relationship. But then you know, sexually it 588 00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:41,679 Speaker 2: doesn't you don't have to be confined. 589 00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:42,560 Speaker 3: To that space. 590 00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:44,600 Speaker 2: You can go do whatever you want to do as 591 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:48,560 Speaker 2: long as you're both consenting and everyone's on the same page. 592 00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:51,159 Speaker 2: That to me, it would not work for me, but 593 00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:53,280 Speaker 2: I'm happy to see that it's working for other people 594 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:56,560 Speaker 2: because I do think relationships come in all different shapes, 595 00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:59,960 Speaker 2: and if that's what it takes to keep your relationship 596 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:01,960 Speaker 2: happy and healthy, then by. 597 00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:02,760 Speaker 3: All means do that. 598 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,719 Speaker 2: There's a plenty of people who are in what is 599 00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:08,600 Speaker 2: the stereotypical marriage that lay in the same bed every 600 00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:10,600 Speaker 2: night and they do everything that the world thinks that 601 00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:12,560 Speaker 2: they should do, and they're not fucking anymore. 602 00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:14,080 Speaker 3: You know, they don't. 603 00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:16,000 Speaker 2: Even like each other, but they're doing the thing that 604 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:19,160 Speaker 2: they're told that they're supposed to do, and that, by 605 00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:21,960 Speaker 2: the way, they're doing it not because they want to 606 00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:23,920 Speaker 2: be doing it. They're doing it because they're worried about 607 00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:27,720 Speaker 2: the judgment of other people. And I think that's you know, 608 00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,880 Speaker 2: where you and I are sitting here and agreeing wholeheartedly, 609 00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:34,639 Speaker 2: is that like, keep your judgment out of other people's relationships, 610 00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:37,640 Speaker 2: because what works for one couple isn't going to work 611 00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:39,920 Speaker 2: with another couple, and vice versa. 612 00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,040 Speaker 3: That's just the moral of the story here. 613 00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:55,280 Speaker 1: For a long time, I really struggled with the concept 614 00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:59,000 Speaker 1: of like an open marriage or polyamory. And I had 615 00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:04,080 Speaker 1: a psychologist one wants who spoke about being in a 616 00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:07,960 Speaker 1: polyamorous relationship, but she also like lived it out and 617 00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:10,120 Speaker 1: that was her life and it taught me so much. 618 00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:13,680 Speaker 1: And the truth is is I was so judgmental of 619 00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:16,840 Speaker 1: it because it made me uncomfortable, because I would really 620 00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:20,280 Speaker 1: struggle in that situation, right Like, I would really I 621 00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:22,240 Speaker 1: don't think I could do it. I would cut a bit, 622 00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:24,880 Speaker 1: you know, I'm like, don't touch my man. That's very 623 00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:27,880 Speaker 1: much my vibe. And I also had such a traumatic 624 00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:31,280 Speaker 1: experience with being cheated on that I've really had to 625 00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:34,520 Speaker 1: work through even learning how to trust again in relationship. 626 00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:37,360 Speaker 1: And so yeah, like those kind of situations sounded wild 627 00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:40,040 Speaker 1: to me, But what was really interesting was learning about 628 00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:44,320 Speaker 1: them specifically and realizing that they actually had to communicate 629 00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:48,320 Speaker 1: even more to make those relationships successful, and they're in 630 00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:52,000 Speaker 1: such a place of having to have transparency and openness. 631 00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:55,200 Speaker 1: And now, what I would say from a spiritual perspective 632 00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:58,479 Speaker 1: is I truly don't know what any soul is supposed 633 00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:03,200 Speaker 1: to experience. And if I'm in one relationship for me personally, 634 00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:06,760 Speaker 1: that's enough mirroring and growth work and like seeing my 635 00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:09,840 Speaker 1: shit that I can handle, Like I can only handle 636 00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:12,320 Speaker 1: one person doing that. But if you're in a situation, 637 00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:16,720 Speaker 1: like a poly situation, you're in multiple relationships, so I'm 638 00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:19,400 Speaker 1: sure your shit's coming up in all different forms at 639 00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:22,480 Speaker 1: all times. Maybe that's what that person's soul needs. Like 640 00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:23,840 Speaker 1: who am I to. 641 00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:25,760 Speaker 3: Say advance growth too? 642 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:29,720 Speaker 1: Yes, it advance like truly because you're constantly being challenged 643 00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:34,280 Speaker 1: and having to communicate and be truthful and transparent, and like, 644 00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:37,840 Speaker 1: as much as we all want to think that we are, true, 645 00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:41,600 Speaker 1: intimacy is such a deeper level of that. Then I 646 00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:44,040 Speaker 1: think we are willing, Like I don't think we're always 647 00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:46,440 Speaker 1: willing to admit the little slight things that we're not 648 00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:49,960 Speaker 1: being truthful about all the time, you know, like they're 649 00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:52,880 Speaker 1: very evident. So anyway, I'm saying all that to say, 650 00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:55,760 Speaker 1: I think it just gets back to the point of, like, 651 00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:58,920 Speaker 1: it's interesting when you really think about what's bothering you 652 00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:03,080 Speaker 1: about the way someone will is living their life, and truthfully, 653 00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:07,040 Speaker 1: usually it's about what it's bringing up in you, you know, right. 654 00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:09,200 Speaker 2: A lot of times I would think it's probably jealousy, 655 00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:11,720 Speaker 2: and it's but I wouldn't do it. 656 00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:14,080 Speaker 1: It's like I have no desire to be in an 657 00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:17,160 Speaker 1: open relationship. Like I said, I truly would be like, 658 00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:18,959 Speaker 1: who the fuck is that bitch? You know? 659 00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:21,080 Speaker 3: Right? And where. 660 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:24,680 Speaker 1: Exactly? And he's like, why was at her house? And 661 00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:27,880 Speaker 1: You're like, I just couldn't do it. I know, are 662 00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:29,920 Speaker 1: they talking about why is she? I would do the 663 00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:33,479 Speaker 1: comparison thing, like why is she giving him something I can't? 664 00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:38,040 Speaker 1: I would feel insufficient. But that's my stuff. But because 665 00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:39,920 Speaker 1: of that, like for me to fully open up, I 666 00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:42,600 Speaker 1: need a lot of safety in relationships. And I truly 667 00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:44,760 Speaker 1: believe that's one of the reasons I feel so comfortable 668 00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:47,840 Speaker 1: in the relationship I'm in now is we've really worked 669 00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:49,880 Speaker 1: to try to do that, but it ebbs and flows. 670 00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:51,400 Speaker 1: You know, we don't get it right every day. 671 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,120 Speaker 2: So yeah, but the point is that you're talking about 672 00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:56,120 Speaker 2: it and you're focused on it and all of those things. 673 00:31:56,160 --> 00:32:02,160 Speaker 2: That's whereas I think the traditional shape of relationship there 674 00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:07,040 Speaker 2: is license in there to not do the work. Yeah, 675 00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:10,640 Speaker 2: if the structure is what the world thinks it should be. 676 00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:13,360 Speaker 1: Because the structure is more about checking a box of Okay, 677 00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:16,560 Speaker 1: we did that, but it is actually about what's happening 678 00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:19,880 Speaker 1: on the inside or behind closed doors, right, And that's 679 00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:23,880 Speaker 1: the problem to me, Like, the problem isn't that anyone 680 00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:26,680 Speaker 1: wants to get married young or stay married forever, or 681 00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:29,040 Speaker 1: have a bunch of kids or not to get married 682 00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:31,160 Speaker 1: or Yeah, that's not the problem. 683 00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:31,480 Speaker 3: Ever. 684 00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:34,000 Speaker 1: I think the problem is if we're operating from a 685 00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:38,400 Speaker 1: system of programming and not actually being intentional in our 686 00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:41,280 Speaker 1: own lives to ask ourselves what do we want and 687 00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:43,440 Speaker 1: what makes us happy and truly at peace? 688 00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:44,400 Speaker 3: Yeah. 689 00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:47,480 Speaker 2: I mean, look, it's I'm turning fifty, I'm single, i 690 00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:50,200 Speaker 2: don't have kids, and I've had to think about that 691 00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:54,200 Speaker 2: a lot, you know, like what is it that I want? 692 00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:57,160 Speaker 2: And the truth is, like, I'm really fucking happy in 693 00:32:57,200 --> 00:33:00,120 Speaker 2: my life right now, So I don't feel like that 694 00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:06,240 Speaker 2: there's this gaping hole that's missing. I think everyone craves companionship, 695 00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:07,760 Speaker 2: but I find it in other ways. 696 00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:10,680 Speaker 1: I've got agree, you have more friends than anybody that. 697 00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:13,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, I have. I have great friends. 698 00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:16,160 Speaker 2: I have dogs, which you know, they provide a certain 699 00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:17,240 Speaker 2: level of companionship. 700 00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:21,360 Speaker 3: I'm close with my family, Like my life is very full. 701 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:23,960 Speaker 2: But you know, I'm sure my mother is going to 702 00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:26,520 Speaker 2: ask before I leave if I've got a special friend, 703 00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:29,920 Speaker 2: you know, like a special friend, because that, to her, 704 00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:32,440 Speaker 2: in her viewpoint. 705 00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:33,840 Speaker 3: Is really what makes people happy. 706 00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:37,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's really interesting that this topic came up 707 00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:40,360 Speaker 2: when I was observing so much of that this week. 708 00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:43,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, you're living it out in real time right now. Yeah. 709 00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:44,680 Speaker 3: Yeah. 710 00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:47,560 Speaker 1: Yeah. The interesting thing too, I think what's helped me 711 00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:50,680 Speaker 1: with this kind of topic is learning so much about astrology, 712 00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:54,760 Speaker 1: and like when you read other people's charts and you 713 00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:58,880 Speaker 1: get to know your own, you realize that our souls 714 00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:02,000 Speaker 1: truly do come here with an intention, you know, and 715 00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:06,000 Speaker 1: some learning and unlearning to do, and it's very purposeful. 716 00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:09,840 Speaker 1: You also realize how differently all of us are wired, 717 00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:12,680 Speaker 1: and I think that that's like the biggest piece of it. 718 00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:15,160 Speaker 1: But like, some people didn't come to this lifetime, or 719 00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:16,919 Speaker 1: this is what I believe. I guess I should say 720 00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:20,400 Speaker 1: some people didn't come to this lifetime for relationships. That 721 00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:23,040 Speaker 1: wasn't their goal, Like the point was for them to 722 00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:26,239 Speaker 1: really focus on work, or really focus on friendships, or 723 00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:30,640 Speaker 1: really focus on individualism. Like unless you know someone's charge, 724 00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:33,359 Speaker 1: I would just say, like it's really dangerous to even 725 00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:36,880 Speaker 1: put a concept on what their life should look like. 726 00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:39,719 Speaker 1: Because we really don't know, and so if we tell 727 00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:42,080 Speaker 1: everyone the only way they can have a successful life 728 00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:45,480 Speaker 1: is X, Y and Z, we're really like setting up 729 00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:50,360 Speaker 1: our culture and our world to be this uniform place 730 00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:53,960 Speaker 1: or existence that doesn't help anyone really foster true growth, 731 00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:57,719 Speaker 1: Like really it doesn't. Anyway, I just think this is 732 00:34:57,719 --> 00:35:00,120 Speaker 1: such an interesting topic. I really would love to know 733 00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:03,080 Speaker 1: what you guys think on either side of the coin, Like, 734 00:35:03,239 --> 00:35:06,239 Speaker 1: I am very curious if this is making people very 735 00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:10,120 Speaker 1: frustrated to listen to this conversation, or if they're like, yeah, 736 00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:12,560 Speaker 1: you know, Like I just I'm very I can't really 737 00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:15,640 Speaker 1: gauge what the reaction would be. Obviously, Chip and I 738 00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:18,319 Speaker 1: are both a little more open minded, and so I 739 00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:20,960 Speaker 1: think for us this is exciting, but I'd be curious, 740 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:23,319 Speaker 1: like does this scare you? Does this pish you off? 741 00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:25,399 Speaker 1: Does this what does it do? So anyway, you can 742 00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:28,320 Speaker 1: email us at the Edge at velvetsedge dot com. You 743 00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:31,240 Speaker 1: can also hit me up on Instagram. I'm at Velvet's. 744 00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:34,759 Speaker 3: Edge, Chip, I'm at Chip Doors. It's Chip d O 745 00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:35,800 Speaker 3: R S CCH. 746 00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:39,239 Speaker 1: We also are about to start our new Instagram page, 747 00:35:39,239 --> 00:35:41,920 Speaker 1: which is at Velvet Edge Podcast, so be sure to 748 00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:44,200 Speaker 1: follow us so you can see some of the upcoming 749 00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:46,480 Speaker 1: things we're doing on there. You can also watch us 750 00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:48,560 Speaker 1: on YouTube. I mean, there's so many different things we're 751 00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:50,240 Speaker 1: doing now, Chap, we have variation. 752 00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:54,160 Speaker 2: You know you're not anymore. 753 00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:56,839 Speaker 1: That was very well. 754 00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:59,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, I like that. 755 00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:05,880 Speaker 1: This week as you guys go into the week weekend. 756 00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:08,759 Speaker 1: Damn it, I got way ahead of myself. You really 757 00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:12,040 Speaker 1: threw me with such a good As you guys go 758 00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:13,719 Speaker 1: into the weekend and you're living on the edge, I 759 00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:14,799 Speaker 1: hope you guys are remember too. 760 00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:19,160 Speaker 3: A casual Hi