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Speaker 1: You don't hear me confession. I can't take back O arms.

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Speaker 2: Mouse speak text to seventy eighty five nine two says

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Speaker 2: I'm thirty nine years old and to this day, every

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Speaker 2: time I check the mailbox at my apartment, I fully

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Speaker 2: sing the male song from Blues Clues. Yeah, oh, we just.

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Speaker 1: Got a letter.

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Speaker 2: Spoke to Jose.

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Speaker 1: Relates to this.

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Speaker 2: I need to start doing this pretty. This segment is

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Speaker 2: the great equalizer, reminding us that nobody's perfect. We're all

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Speaker 2: embarrassments to humankind. And luckily this segment gives us a

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Speaker 2: chance to admit our biggest faults in our dirtiest secrets

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Speaker 2: anonymously while we alter your voice to hide your shame.

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Speaker 2: We just got a secret. We got a guy on

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Speaker 2: the phone ready to tell us why he's a massive

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Speaker 2: drain on society.

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Speaker 1: He's chosen.

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Speaker 2: Blake is his fake name. So Blake, welcome to the show.

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Speaker 1: Hi there, thanks so much for having me on.

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Speaker 2: You laugh through that instead of trying. He knows the truth.

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Speaker 2: Voice changer is on. You are the mass speaker, Blake.

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Speaker 2: Whenever you're ready, let's hear your confession.

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Speaker 1: Okay, when I was a kid, I was like seven

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Speaker 1: years old. My older stepbrother told me something that I

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Speaker 1: believed for way too long. Oh, I always love these

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Speaker 1: the older sibling, Lie is always great.

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Speaker 2: I thought I was adopted for a long time.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so for concepts, I have red hair, and I

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Speaker 1: was always told that my red hair color comes from

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Speaker 1: my dad. Oh, there goes your identity. Now everybody knows

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Speaker 1: who you are.

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Speaker 2: But your dad also has red hair.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so I was red hair.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay.

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Speaker 1: So I'm playing outside with my older stepbrother and he

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Speaker 1: pulled me aside and he said, hey, you know the

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Speaker 1: three redhead kids that lived down the street from us. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, yeah, we ride the bus to school

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Speaker 1: with them. And he said, yeah, so those guys are

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Speaker 1: dad's other kids from this previous marriage. Like, but they're

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Speaker 1: the same age as me.

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Speaker 2: Wait when you're that young though, you don't do the math.

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Speaker 1: So he said that's why they all have red hair too.

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Speaker 1: And he says, anytime you see a red headed kid,

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Speaker 1: it's one of the dad's secrets.

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Speaker 2: He's the only one that's making kids with red hair

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Speaker 2: in the world.

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Speaker 1: Patient red heads. Seven year old, You're like, why aren't

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Speaker 1: my brothers and sisters talking to me? Yeah? Vicious he

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Speaker 1: makes me swear not to tell anyone.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes you go crazy because you're never going

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Speaker 2: to talk about it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and if any kids are listening, that's always a

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Speaker 1: sign that someone is doing you dirty.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't talk about it. There's a reason they

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Speaker 2: don't want you to.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So I'm just carrying this family secret, and I

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Speaker 1: keep bumping into those three kids. You. I feel bad

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Speaker 1: that they don't know well and their father isn't involved

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Speaker 1: in their lives.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. To be clear, they do have like an actual dad.

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Speaker 1: Right, Like, yeah, but he thinks that his dad is

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Speaker 1: their dad.

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Speaker 2: It doesn't matter what reality is. That's a babysitter, Ja,

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Speaker 2: He's just swooping in to pick up the leftovers that

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Speaker 2: your dad left behind.

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Speaker 1: I remember waiting for the ice cream truck one day

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Speaker 1: and getting Ninja Turtles ice cream pop. Oh those are good.

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Speaker 1: The other three kids also got Ninja Turtles ice cream

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Speaker 1: pops and I was like, oh, yeah, that makes sense because.

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Speaker 2: Taste buds are the same. I mean, those kids like

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Speaker 2: to bride their bikes too. It must be a ginger thing.

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Speaker 2: How long How long did this go on for?

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Speaker 1: Well, this went on until when I was like ten.

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Speaker 1: It's like three years.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I finally talked to the kids. I felt bad,

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Speaker 1: and I finally said something to these three boys, like,

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Speaker 1: do you want to talk about you know, our path?

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Speaker 1: I know them down, like, we've got to break the

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Speaker 1: ice here.

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Speaker 2: Would be so mad if they knew that we were

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Speaker 2: talking to each other right now, But let's just get the.

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Speaker 1: Truth out there. Such a kid?

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Speaker 2: Were they so confused?

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Speaker 1: Respond? Yeah? Well, I was like, you know how your

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Speaker 1: dad my dad? And they looked at me like I

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Speaker 1: was a psycho.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you're looking at them like they're just naive, and

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Speaker 2: you're like, oh, sweet souls, you guys don't know, yeah,

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Speaker 2: the truth?

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Speaker 1: Why did you figure this out? Like a year later,

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Speaker 1: one of them is like, dude, why do you keep

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Speaker 1: acting like we're related? And I both him the whole story,

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Speaker 1: and all three of them just started cracking up about.

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Speaker 2: No, I'm serious. Our dad's a huge player. He's going

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Speaker 2: all over town making little redheaded children everywhere you go.

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Speaker 2: You see him even wears your dad y all the

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Speaker 2: same age, all the kids he had two years. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and that's when you found out.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I thought my dad had secret ginger kids all

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Speaker 1: over town.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, my godad listening you know who your real dad is?

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Speaker 1: Now?

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Speaker 2: Does your stepbrother know? Now?

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Speaker 1: How long you have went on with this lie that

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Speaker 1: he told you? Oh? Yeah, he tells this story all

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Speaker 1: the time.

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Speaker 2: If he's really your stepbrother dad, I know, it's a

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Speaker 2: whole other box of worms to undo, but that's hilarious.

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Speaker 1: Three full years.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry that happened, But thanks for coming on the

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Speaker 2: show and confessing your red haired secret to the whole world.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for giving me the opportunity. I really appreciate it.

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Speaker 2: We have a right head that works here.

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Speaker 1: Do you think you're related, baby? Definitely.

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Speaker 2: We'll do a family reunion for you too later, but

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Speaker 2: text in the seven, eight, five nine too if you

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Speaker 2: have a confession you've been holding on to. We'll hide

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Speaker 2: your identity, mask your voice, and make you our next

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Speaker 2: mass speaker phone taps coming up right after this