WEBVTT - Identify yourself

0:00:03.440 --> 0:00:06.680
<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

0:00:09.320 --> 0:00:15.520
<v Speaker 1>Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

0:00:16.760 --> 0:00:21.320
<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is to identify yourself. When you encounter someone

0:00:21.360 --> 0:00:24.279
<v Speaker 1>you haven't seen in a while, or when you see

0:00:24.320 --> 0:00:29.200
<v Speaker 1>someone in a different context than usual, say your name

0:00:29.760 --> 0:00:35.280
<v Speaker 1>right away. That way, you can reconnect without the awkwardness

0:00:35.280 --> 0:00:39.720
<v Speaker 1>of trying to remember who is who. I used to

0:00:39.760 --> 0:00:43.159
<v Speaker 1>think some people were good at names and some were not,

0:00:44.360 --> 0:00:47.199
<v Speaker 1>But my thinking on whether people are naturally good or

0:00:47.360 --> 0:00:51.880
<v Speaker 1>bad at things has evolved over time. At some point

0:00:51.920 --> 0:00:55.240
<v Speaker 1>I realized that our brains naturally focus on what we

0:00:55.320 --> 0:01:00.360
<v Speaker 1>find most important. If I can remember the right form

0:01:00.560 --> 0:01:05.160
<v Speaker 1>of your, and it's, and there, and how to use

0:01:05.200 --> 0:01:09.280
<v Speaker 1>the word resonate properly in a sentence, then I can

0:01:09.319 --> 0:01:13.920
<v Speaker 1>remember someone's name if I try. Of course, this is

0:01:13.959 --> 0:01:17.839
<v Speaker 1>easier said than done. But I've noticed that some people

0:01:17.920 --> 0:01:21.120
<v Speaker 1>do something absolutely wonderful, which I am trying to adopt

0:01:21.160 --> 0:01:24.520
<v Speaker 1>as a habit too. When you run into someone you

0:01:24.560 --> 0:01:27.240
<v Speaker 1>haven't seen in a while or in a different context

0:01:27.319 --> 0:01:31.360
<v Speaker 1>than usual, say your name as soon as possible, as

0:01:31.400 --> 0:01:34.800
<v Speaker 1>in hey, and then I would gesture to myself. Laura

0:01:34.880 --> 0:01:38.800
<v Speaker 1>Vanderkam nice to see you again. You can do this

0:01:38.880 --> 0:01:41.720
<v Speaker 1>even if you don't remember the other person's name or

0:01:41.760 --> 0:01:44.560
<v Speaker 1>even where you know them from. This gives the other

0:01:44.560 --> 0:01:47.600
<v Speaker 1>person a clue of who you are, but doesn't presume

0:01:47.680 --> 0:01:50.920
<v Speaker 1>that they would naturally remember you. I mean, we all

0:01:50.960 --> 0:01:55.360
<v Speaker 1>think everyone should automatically remember us, but sadly that might

0:01:55.400 --> 0:01:59.480
<v Speaker 1>not be the case. And instead of automatically asking the

0:01:59.520 --> 0:02:01.840
<v Speaker 1>other person his name, which is a giveaway that you

0:02:01.840 --> 0:02:04.920
<v Speaker 1>don't remember them either, you just offer your own name.

0:02:05.760 --> 0:02:07.920
<v Speaker 1>If you're not wearing a name tag, which we usually

0:02:07.960 --> 0:02:12.480
<v Speaker 1>aren't in the grocery store, then why not. Now, if

0:02:12.480 --> 0:02:15.919
<v Speaker 1>the person is remotely self aware, he or she will

0:02:15.960 --> 0:02:20.120
<v Speaker 1>probably offer up their name. But if you have misjudged

0:02:20.200 --> 0:02:23.320
<v Speaker 1>how well the person feels he or she knows you,

0:02:23.320 --> 0:02:27.040
<v Speaker 1>you will still come across as a reasonably humble individual.

0:02:28.160 --> 0:02:31.400
<v Speaker 1>As the person says, Laura, of course I remember you,

0:02:32.280 --> 0:02:35.120
<v Speaker 1>he or she will probably introduce a topic of known

0:02:35.240 --> 0:02:38.840
<v Speaker 1>shared interest, which gives you a better clue of where

0:02:38.840 --> 0:02:42.800
<v Speaker 1>you know this person from. You can both operate under

0:02:42.800 --> 0:02:46.560
<v Speaker 1>the polite assumption that, of course the reminders weren't necessary,

0:02:46.800 --> 0:02:50.880
<v Speaker 1>but it doesn't hurt to provide them. If you think

0:02:50.919 --> 0:02:55.400
<v Speaker 1>identifying yourself like this sounds awkward or contrived. Compare it

0:02:55.480 --> 0:02:59.480
<v Speaker 1>to the awkwardness of not remembering their name. Everyone's hemming

0:02:59.560 --> 0:03:02.440
<v Speaker 1>and haw ring for the first few minutes trying to

0:03:02.560 --> 0:03:06.120
<v Speaker 1>establish where you know each other from. You waste time.

0:03:06.120 --> 0:03:10.120
<v Speaker 1>You could have been connecting better to just say your name,

0:03:11.480 --> 0:03:16.480
<v Speaker 1>So try identifying yourself. Soon it'll be second nature, and

0:03:16.560 --> 0:03:20.120
<v Speaker 1>you'll probably find conversations a lot more relaxed then if

0:03:20.160 --> 0:03:22.799
<v Speaker 1>you are half conversing with the person and half racking

0:03:22.840 --> 0:03:25.280
<v Speaker 1>your brain to figure out if the person actually remembers

0:03:25.280 --> 0:03:30.040
<v Speaker 1>you now more than ever after having seen each other

0:03:30.200 --> 0:03:33.160
<v Speaker 1>less frequently in the last year and a half and

0:03:33.200 --> 0:03:36.040
<v Speaker 1>when we were often wearing masks that cover up half

0:03:36.040 --> 0:03:41.040
<v Speaker 1>of our faces. Identifying yourself as just smart, I mean

0:03:41.120 --> 0:03:45.360
<v Speaker 1>maybe you're wearing sunglasses and a mask. I can't necessarily

0:03:45.360 --> 0:03:49.200
<v Speaker 1>recognize myself in that get up. Best to say your

0:03:49.280 --> 0:03:54.559
<v Speaker 1>name so you're incognito. Appearance doesn't keep you from reconnecting

0:03:55.360 --> 0:04:00.920
<v Speaker 1>with someone who could become a friend. In the meantime.

0:04:02.080 --> 0:04:06.400
<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making

0:04:06.440 --> 0:04:16.040
<v Speaker 1>the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to

0:04:16.080 --> 0:04:18.400
<v Speaker 1>hear from you. You can send me your tips your

0:04:18.480 --> 0:04:21.960
<v Speaker 1>questions or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter,

0:04:22.320 --> 0:04:27.040
<v Speaker 1>Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod. That's b E

0:04:27.720 --> 0:04:31.840
<v Speaker 1>the number four, then Breakfast p o D. You can

0:04:31.880 --> 0:04:35.440
<v Speaker 1>also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast podcast. At

0:04:35.440 --> 0:04:38.440
<v Speaker 1>i heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled

0:04:38.440 --> 0:04:41.120
<v Speaker 1>out with all the letters. Thanks so much, I look

0:04:41.120 --> 0:04:49.480
<v Speaker 1>forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production

0:04:49.520 --> 0:04:52.960
<v Speaker 1>of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from my heart Radio,

0:04:53.440 --> 0:04:56.960
<v Speaker 1>visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

0:04:57.000 --> 0:05:03.360
<v Speaker 1>you listen to your favorite shows. Yet