1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:06,680 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:15,520 Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:21,320 Speaker 1: Today's tip is to identify yourself. When you encounter someone 4 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:24,279 Speaker 1: you haven't seen in a while, or when you see 5 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 1: someone in a different context than usual, say your name 6 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:35,280 Speaker 1: right away. That way, you can reconnect without the awkwardness 7 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:39,720 Speaker 1: of trying to remember who is who. I used to 8 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:43,159 Speaker 1: think some people were good at names and some were not, 9 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:47,199 Speaker 1: But my thinking on whether people are naturally good or 10 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:51,880 Speaker 1: bad at things has evolved over time. At some point 11 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:55,240 Speaker 1: I realized that our brains naturally focus on what we 12 00:00:55,320 --> 00:01:00,360 Speaker 1: find most important. If I can remember the right form 13 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:05,160 Speaker 1: of your, and it's, and there, and how to use 14 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:09,280 Speaker 1: the word resonate properly in a sentence, then I can 15 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:13,920 Speaker 1: remember someone's name if I try. Of course, this is 16 00:01:13,959 --> 00:01:17,839 Speaker 1: easier said than done. But I've noticed that some people 17 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:21,120 Speaker 1: do something absolutely wonderful, which I am trying to adopt 18 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:24,520 Speaker 1: as a habit too. When you run into someone you 19 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:27,240 Speaker 1: haven't seen in a while or in a different context 20 00:01:27,319 --> 00:01:31,360 Speaker 1: than usual, say your name as soon as possible, as 21 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:34,800 Speaker 1: in hey, and then I would gesture to myself. Laura 22 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:38,800 Speaker 1: Vanderkam nice to see you again. You can do this 23 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:41,720 Speaker 1: even if you don't remember the other person's name or 24 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:44,560 Speaker 1: even where you know them from. This gives the other 25 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:47,600 Speaker 1: person a clue of who you are, but doesn't presume 26 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:50,920 Speaker 1: that they would naturally remember you. I mean, we all 27 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:55,360 Speaker 1: think everyone should automatically remember us, but sadly that might 28 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:59,480 Speaker 1: not be the case. And instead of automatically asking the 29 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,840 Speaker 1: other person his name, which is a giveaway that you 30 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:04,920 Speaker 1: don't remember them either, you just offer your own name. 31 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:07,920 Speaker 1: If you're not wearing a name tag, which we usually 32 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:12,480 Speaker 1: aren't in the grocery store, then why not. Now, if 33 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:15,919 Speaker 1: the person is remotely self aware, he or she will 34 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:20,120 Speaker 1: probably offer up their name. But if you have misjudged 35 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:23,320 Speaker 1: how well the person feels he or she knows you, 36 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:27,040 Speaker 1: you will still come across as a reasonably humble individual. 37 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:31,400 Speaker 1: As the person says, Laura, of course I remember you, 38 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:35,120 Speaker 1: he or she will probably introduce a topic of known 39 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:38,840 Speaker 1: shared interest, which gives you a better clue of where 40 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:42,800 Speaker 1: you know this person from. You can both operate under 41 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:46,560 Speaker 1: the polite assumption that, of course the reminders weren't necessary, 42 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:50,880 Speaker 1: but it doesn't hurt to provide them. If you think 43 00:02:50,919 --> 00:02:55,400 Speaker 1: identifying yourself like this sounds awkward or contrived. Compare it 44 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:59,480 Speaker 1: to the awkwardness of not remembering their name. Everyone's hemming 45 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:02,440 Speaker 1: and haw ring for the first few minutes trying to 46 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:06,120 Speaker 1: establish where you know each other from. You waste time. 47 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:10,120 Speaker 1: You could have been connecting better to just say your name, 48 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:16,480 Speaker 1: So try identifying yourself. Soon it'll be second nature, and 49 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:20,120 Speaker 1: you'll probably find conversations a lot more relaxed then if 50 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,799 Speaker 1: you are half conversing with the person and half racking 51 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:25,280 Speaker 1: your brain to figure out if the person actually remembers 52 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:30,040 Speaker 1: you now more than ever after having seen each other 53 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:33,160 Speaker 1: less frequently in the last year and a half and 54 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 1: when we were often wearing masks that cover up half 55 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:41,040 Speaker 1: of our faces. Identifying yourself as just smart, I mean 56 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:45,360 Speaker 1: maybe you're wearing sunglasses and a mask. I can't necessarily 57 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:49,200 Speaker 1: recognize myself in that get up. Best to say your 58 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:54,559 Speaker 1: name so you're incognito. Appearance doesn't keep you from reconnecting 59 00:03:55,360 --> 00:04:00,920 Speaker 1: with someone who could become a friend. In the meantime. 60 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:06,400 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making 61 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:16,040 Speaker 1: the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to 62 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:18,400 Speaker 1: hear from you. You can send me your tips your 63 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:21,960 Speaker 1: questions or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, 64 00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:27,040 Speaker 1: Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod. That's b E 65 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:31,840 Speaker 1: the number four, then Breakfast p o D. You can 66 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:35,440 Speaker 1: also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast podcast. At 67 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:38,440 Speaker 1: i heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled 68 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:41,120 Speaker 1: out with all the letters. Thanks so much, I look 69 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:49,480 Speaker 1: forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production 70 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:52,960 Speaker 1: of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from my heart Radio, 71 00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:56,960 Speaker 1: visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever 72 00:04:57,000 --> 00:05:03,360 Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows. Yet