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Speaker 1: This is John, this is the Okay Storytime podcast hosts,

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Speaker 1: and we have some.

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Speaker 2: Good stories coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: That's right. But before that, we have a little morsel

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Speaker 1: of a two minute ad break from the sponsors keeping

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Speaker 1: the show delicious. Hmmm, my stepsister are lied about pitching

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Speaker 1: in for wedding expenses. Now everything's ruined. Stop ruining stuff, sis,

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Speaker 1: don't do it, hi'all. My female thirty five mother married

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Speaker 1: my stepdad when I was seventeen. He had a daughter

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Speaker 1: from a previous marriage, Ellie, female twenty nine. We were

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Speaker 1: never close because when they moved in with us, Ellie

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Speaker 1: was super, super clingy and would always follow me around

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Speaker 1: and basically stalked me in my own home. Gross, can

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Speaker 1: your like sisters and stepsisters? That is it stalking?

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Speaker 2: Stocking? I mean yeah, following you. I think it would

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Speaker 2: be more like imprinting, like a little baby duckling. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 2: but you could say a baby duckling's stalking you.

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Speaker 1: That's true.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, stocking Their mamas stock and their mama's stop that.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to hire get a restraining owner on you,

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Speaker 1: mama duck Yeah, she was your typical no it all

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Speaker 1: barely left the house so basically had zero friends that

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Speaker 1: weren't online. Ouch.

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Speaker 2: Okay, tell us what you really think.

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Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from Throwaway Advice Pleased. If

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Speaker 1: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

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Speaker 1: r slash Okay, storytime, celebrate it. So Ellie managed to

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Speaker 1: graduate early and get into a really good college on scholarships,

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Speaker 1: then got a master's degree there as well. Okay, there

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Speaker 1: we go. She's in engineering and her college is apparently

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Speaker 1: one of the best ones for engineering. So straight after

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Speaker 1: graduating she was earning a crazy amount of money.

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Speaker 2: This sounds great, sounds like she grew up. Where are

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Speaker 2: we going into the problem?

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it feels like I'm only seeing solutions right now,

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Speaker 2: like an engineer, a good engineer.

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Speaker 1: Fix it, baby, fix it. She's been rubbing this in

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Speaker 1: my face ever since she got the acceptance letter. When

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Speaker 1: she got home, she was always wearing the university hoodie,

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Speaker 1: always talking about what she's doing at college, sending videos

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Speaker 1: of robots and crap into the family group. Jack, disgusting,

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Speaker 1: How dare you be proud of your accomplishments and your school?

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Speaker 1: Throw your little hoodie away? Stop fragging all the time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I.

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Speaker 3: Don't know.

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Speaker 1: Dude.

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Speaker 2: So far, all I'm seeing is some jealousy now that

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Speaker 2: she's earning so much.

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Speaker 1: It's crap like her paying off our parents' car loans

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Speaker 1: for Christmas or getting extravagant gifts for everyone.

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Speaker 2: The goal, the absolute horse radish of a person to

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Speaker 2: do something so cruel, so flexworthy.

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Speaker 1: I'm confused, dude, this is great.

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Speaker 2: Dude. There's this guy heard about that was like going

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Speaker 2: around like giving fish to strangers and curing the blind.

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Speaker 2: Total able, dude, total comp show off. Just show off,

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Speaker 2: I mean, like dying for our sins, like he owns

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Speaker 2: the place, like, you know, crappy person right there.

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Speaker 1: Dude, water into wine? How about some mineral water? Yeah yeah,

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Speaker 1: not even wine.

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Speaker 2: No one asked, No one asked if I wanted wine

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Speaker 2: a whole you know it in my face. Also, I'm

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Speaker 2: trying to be sober more like honestly, you know, really

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Speaker 2: really uh not read in the room. I'm trying to chill,

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Speaker 2: trying to do a right.

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Speaker 1: Don't forget the Tommy, you know, put muddling guy's face

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Speaker 1: and he could finally see.

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Speaker 2: For yeah, ridiculous, ridiculous, you know, like I can see

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Speaker 2: clearly now that you're a show off, like, let let

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Speaker 2: him figure it out on his own. Give a blind

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Speaker 2: man and I he'll see for a day, But teach

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Speaker 2: a blind man to use a stick, and it'll see

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Speaker 2: for a life. He'll feel around forever. AnyWho, back to op.

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Speaker 1: So we had a few fights about it, wow, but

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Speaker 1: we always made up so onto this year. I got

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Speaker 1: engaged last year in February to my fiance mail thirty two.

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Speaker 1: I asked my sister if she would pitch in, and

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Speaker 1: she said she would help out, knowing she had the

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Speaker 1: money I got to play in my dream wedding.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she's gonna cover the whole thing. I'm thinking diamonds

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Speaker 2: instead of flowers, ice use icy to use the chat. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I was. I was gonna get a you know, like

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Speaker 2: a regular wedding band, but dream wedding. Rihanna, you know

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Speaker 2: the home she to perform at my wedding.

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Speaker 1: I thought you were saying wedding band like the ring,

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Speaker 1: and it's like, oh no, it's just like like sapphires

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Speaker 1: all the way around.

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Speaker 2: And then yeah, Andrehanna right like diamonds. Oh yeah, she's

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Speaker 2: the best diamond of all.

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Speaker 1: Get a bunch of diamonds. I was so excited about

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Speaker 1: planning our big day with her sister's freaking money. That

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Speaker 1: was all until I showed her the plants and she

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Speaker 1: pulled the rug from beneath my feet. You you give

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Speaker 1: a wedding plan for a million dollars for someone else

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Speaker 1: to pay for it, and suddenly they don't.

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Speaker 2: Want to do it. I mean, when you steal a rug,

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Speaker 2: start standing on it. Don't get mad when someone's like,

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Speaker 2: that's my rug. I'm taking that back exactly. Know you're

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Speaker 2: gonna get the rug pulled out from you a lot

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Speaker 2: with that kind of attitude.

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Speaker 1: Calm down, Aladdin. So she asked me how I'm paying

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Speaker 1: for it. My husband and I didn't do college, so

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Speaker 1: we're not high earners and not high thinkers either.

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Speaker 2: Oh God. And I reminded her that she said that

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Speaker 2: she would help.

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Speaker 1: She's now saying that she won't help pay for it,

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Speaker 1: and that she will at the absolute most pay for

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Speaker 1: my dress.

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Speaker 2: She said she'd help, not bankroll your entire wedding. Dude.

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Speaker 1: Ope, we are now currently at eighty three percent the

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Speaker 1: A hole, seventeen percent not the a hole, But that

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Speaker 1: might have been before all of this stuff that we have.

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Speaker 2: You can vote again and change your vote.

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Speaker 1: Yes, you can change your vote. I told her it's

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Speaker 1: unfair of her to lie to me and only tell

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Speaker 1: me after planning everything that she isn't actually going to help. Wow.

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Speaker 2: She blew up at me over this, not being close

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Speaker 2: in the past and.

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Speaker 1: Blamed me for it. It takes two people to bond,

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Speaker 1: but she claims everything is my fault. We argued for

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Speaker 1: a bit and now she's not even paying for my dress.

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Speaker 1: All the wedding planning I've done has been for nothing.

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Speaker 1: Now my parents are split, with my mom saying Ellie

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Speaker 1: needs to honor her word and let me have the

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Speaker 1: wedding I planned. OPI is definitely her mother's daughter. My god,

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Speaker 1: and we all pitch in what we can afford. Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, my stepdad is angry. I asked her in

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Speaker 1: the first place and dug up some old arguments from

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Speaker 1: when I was seventeen. So am I the a hole

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Speaker 1: for expecting her to do what she said? Ladies jolem,

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Speaker 1: we have some relevant comments, but we have to talk.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean there's a difference between I will help

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Speaker 2: and I will pay for everything. Yes, I will help

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Speaker 2: could mean anything. Yeah, between giving you a buck for

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Speaker 2: roses and paying for the whole thing. Anywhere between a

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Speaker 2: dollar and paying for the whole thing is technically helping.

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Speaker 2: And so to assume that when someone says I'm gonna help,

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Speaker 2: that means that they're gonna pay for the whole wedding

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Speaker 2: is absolutely ridiculous insane. I don't think Ope's sister is

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Speaker 2: the a whole at all. I think Op is the

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Speaker 2: a hole entirely for being so entitled to think that

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Speaker 2: their sister would pay for everything. And also like I'm

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Speaker 2: just seeing a lot of jealousy from Ope about like,

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Speaker 2: you know, wearing your school sweater is I don't know, normal,

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Speaker 2: It's a normal thing to do.

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Speaker 1: Like, I feel like her sister is literally just living

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Speaker 1: her life. She's like, I mean, how cute is it?

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Speaker 1: And how great is it for a stepsister coming in

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Speaker 1: to be like hey, I'm like, what are you doing?

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Speaker 1: Like I'm curious, Like that's great. I feel like she's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: she's like always following around, she's always.

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Speaker 2: Runing her sweater.

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Speaker 1: I feel like she's just being a cool, smart, interesting

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Speaker 1: person and her sister hates her for it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's what I think. When you're cool, smart

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Speaker 2: and interesting and you're next to someone who's not cool,

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Speaker 2: smart and interesting, that person who's not might feel a

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Speaker 2: little insecure. And I think that is what is happening here,

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Speaker 2: that does happen. Amy Lynn says Opie is a bigger

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Speaker 2: a hole, but everyone's an a hole, and Pamela SB

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Speaker 2: Butterfly says they are both an a hole.

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Speaker 1: Please explain. I'm curious because maybe there is something on.

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Speaker 1: Like I mean, she said she'd pay for the dress,

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Speaker 1: which has got to be thousands of up to thousands

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Speaker 1: of dollars.

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Speaker 2: That's enough. Yeah, I think is pulling back from paying

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Speaker 2: for the dress because of this confrontation an a whole move.

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Speaker 1: At the end of the day, you're not entitled to

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Speaker 1: other people's stuff. So I think from like Opie, maybe

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Speaker 1: you know what, maybe isn't an a hole. Maybe it

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Speaker 1: is kind of an a whole move to withdraw that.

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Speaker 1: But at the same time, I feel like op has

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Speaker 1: to recognize, you know what, like this her bank account

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Speaker 1: isn't my bank account. Like I pissed her off, Like

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Speaker 1: all right, she you know, she's she's entitled to do

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Speaker 1: whatever she wants with with with her money and how

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Speaker 1: she wants to live her life.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say that if there was an a

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Speaker 2: whole move. It would be the taking away, the paying

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Speaker 2: for the dress, yes from the sister, but everything else

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Speaker 2: I can I honestly can't see what would be a

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Speaker 2: whole about sharing the fact that you like wearing your

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Speaker 2: college sweater, or sharing your robots that you make. That

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Speaker 2: doesn't feel like nothing that I heard felt a holish

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Speaker 2: to me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Lucy P says if me and my partner having

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Speaker 1: a wedding, I'm assuming I'm paying for everything. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: you know what, that is different from culture to culture,

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Speaker 1: but I think maybe outside of like like very explicit

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Speaker 1: cultural norms like assume you're going to be the one. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's if you're doing something, you're responsible for it.

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Speaker 2: Boom is that? Boom?

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Speaker 1: Am I am I crazy? Am I a madman?

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Speaker 2: I think you are a madman. I think you are

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Speaker 2: made man. Oh, and you are made of good ideas

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Speaker 2: because that idea was good.

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Speaker 1: Oh, gravy watch out her. You'll get whacked. Ladies and gentlemen. Well,

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Speaker 1: we've got some relevant comments in this story as well.

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Speaker 1: Taylorson Wy who says info was she specific about what

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Speaker 1: she said she'd pay for if I offered to take

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Speaker 1: my friend out for dinner. He's kind of an a

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Speaker 1: hole if he picks a seventy seventy five dollars plate place.

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Speaker 1: She might have figured she'd be helping with stuff like

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Speaker 1: haul rental and dress costs, and you decided to soak her.

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Speaker 1: Op says, we didn't go over specifics since I asked

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Speaker 1: her right when I started planning and realized it would

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Speaker 1: have had to be very low budget without her help.

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Speaker 1: I asked if she'd be able to pitch in, and

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Speaker 1: she said she could. Then, once I knew she was

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Speaker 1: helping and had a lot of money, I planned the

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Speaker 1: wedding I actually wanted it.

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Speaker 2: Sounds like you didn't talk about how much she wanted

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Speaker 2: to put in.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it sounds like you had low budget wedding. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm willing to help plan this whole thing and then

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Speaker 1: I'll show it to you.

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Speaker 2: I also feel like she she like is like, oh,

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Speaker 2: engineers make a lot of money, but she might not

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Speaker 2: know exactly how much her sister makes. Oh engineer must

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Speaker 2: be a billionaire. Get the helicopters we're going in on

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Speaker 2: white horses. Were parachuting with the horses into the wedding venue.

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Speaker 2: Like she's like playing in the extravagant wedding of your dreams.

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Speaker 1: I don't have it. Just because I have an engineer

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Speaker 1: salary doesn't mean I can drop fifty thousand dollars on

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Speaker 1: your freaking wedding. Exactly, Ladies and gentlemen. She never asked

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Speaker 1: me about the cost, since she knew I was just

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Speaker 1: starting to figure out everything. It wasn't until I went

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Speaker 1: back to her with my final decisions on everything that

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Speaker 1: she yanked the rug from under my feet. Gotta love

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Speaker 1: the terminology there, spirited Tip seventy three seventy says, you're

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Speaker 1: the a hole. You admit you're not close. Why should

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Speaker 1: she pay another great point? They're not close.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they're not even and yeah, it's like a step

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Speaker 2: sister relationship that's not even close.

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Speaker 1: Yes and nuts, and she remember they became stepsisters when

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Speaker 1: OPI was seventeen years old. They missed their entire childhood together.

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Speaker 1: Not to say they couldn't become close as adults, but that's.

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Speaker 2: Like they're not close.

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Speaker 1: They're not Yeah, they're not close, and they didn't even

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Speaker 1: share childhood. Opie says, because she's earning a crap ton

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Speaker 1: and we are family. The only reason she earns more

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Speaker 1: than me. Is because she got lucky and got into

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Speaker 1: a crazy expensive school on a scholarship.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she earns the scholarship. She was smart and worked hard.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I didn't go to college, so now I should

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Speaker 1: be forced into a wedding I don't want.

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Speaker 2: Oh god, oh god. The I feel like the entitlement

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Speaker 2: combined with the stupidity, it's just like a terrible combo. Listen.

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Speaker 1: OPI is for those of us who didn't go to college.

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Speaker 1: OPI is not giving us a good name right now

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Speaker 1: with the intelligence levels going on here.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, not great, not a great convo man. At least

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Speaker 2: she's got confidence. You know. She's saying all that with

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Speaker 2: her chest. Yeah, she is visualizing and manifesting millionaire status.

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Speaker 2: You know. Yes, other people's millions, other people's millions. Yeah yeah.

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Speaker 1: Slight bar five point thirty four says you're the a

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Speaker 1: hole pay for your own wedding, TACKI asking her for money.

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Speaker 1: She said she would help out, not pay for your

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Speaker 1: dream wedding. You sound jealous of her hard work and success.

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Speaker 1: Opie says, I have had to work way harder than her.

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Speaker 1: I've been in minimum wage since seventeen, trying to make

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Speaker 1: ends meet. She got handed a scholarship on a silver platter,

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Speaker 1: and now she's set up for life. Lipcloss Attic says,

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Speaker 1: this isn't how scholarships work. This isn't how college hurts

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Speaker 1: unless you were born into generational wealth. You get what

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Speaker 1: you work for and earn, not what you deserve. That's

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Speaker 1: true for everyone on earth. And Opie says, I should

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Speaker 1: have mentioned her college. Sorry. She went to MIT, one

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Speaker 1: of the hardest schools MIT.

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Speaker 2: You got a full scholarship.

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Speaker 1: That is, I mean the level of genius you have

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Speaker 1: to take in the level of work it is.

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Speaker 2: MIT is like the hardest engineering school to get it

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Speaker 2: into in the country, Yes, in the country, probably in

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Speaker 2: the world, probably in the world. That you have to

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Speaker 2: to get into MIT. You have to be like coding

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Speaker 2: from like being a like from the time you were

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Speaker 2: a fetus. Yeah, and like build a billion dollar company. Exactly,

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Speaker 2: You're it's hard to get into MIT.

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Speaker 1: God, Well, that gives us even more context of album

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Speaker 1: Crazy You Rob. She went to MIT, so the job

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Speaker 1: she has now was gotten through mainly connections she made

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Speaker 1: while there. Like our family isn't generationally wealthy, but she

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Speaker 1: got the chance to cozy up to those people, and

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Speaker 1: now she lives as one of them, called networkings, called networking.

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Speaker 2: Number six on the list of twenty twenty five, number

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Speaker 2: six in terms of hardest school to get into. Oh,

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Speaker 2: delay on that. You see the engineering Look that up?

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Speaker 2: Oh I don't think it's on the list, got duke,

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Speaker 2: that's hard.

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Speaker 1: Let's find it. Ask chat then ask UC Santa Cruz

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Speaker 1: number four thousand, three hundred and twenty one. That's where

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Speaker 1: I went for a very short time. Your circumstances in

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Speaker 1: no way entitles you to anyone else's money. Heck, offering

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Speaker 1: to pay for a dress is generous given you are

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Speaker 1: a stepsister who, from the sounds of it, treats her poorly.

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Speaker 1: If I were her, I would never bother thinking about

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Speaker 1: you ever. Again. Oh that's that's cold but true, Opie responds,

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Speaker 1: I don't treat her poorly. When she first moved in,

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Speaker 1: I admit I wasn't the kindest to her because I

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Speaker 1: was seventeen and she was a freaky kid.

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Speaker 2: Freaky kid building robots.

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Speaker 1: Doing homework. Keeps Opie just keeps getting better. She had

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Speaker 1: skipped two grades and was a total no it all.

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Speaker 1: She had no friends and used to actically stalk me,

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Speaker 1: always followed me around, asking to hang out with me

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Speaker 1: and my friends. Literally never left me alone for two

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Speaker 1: years till she made some online friends and glue herself

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Speaker 1: to the computer.

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Speaker 2: She's just smart and she's a genius.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, what kid who's like a super genius

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Speaker 1: two grades younger is gonna be I could totally see

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Speaker 1: her having hard time making friends like Oh my gosh, okay.

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Speaker 1: Stable seventy five oh one says Info needed. How much

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Speaker 1: brainwashing did it take to convince your fiance with the

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Speaker 1: whole stepsister that I've always hated pays for my dream

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Speaker 1: wedding plan. Opie says, I never hated her. We just

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Speaker 1: don't click well. I like talking about normal things and

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Speaker 1: she comes in talking about some science crap that's going

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Speaker 1: to allegedly change the world, or some interesting facts that

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Speaker 1: she learned that everybody must know. She's just a bit grating.

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Speaker 1: I don't hate her, we just don't mesh well. Reddit

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Speaker 1: has a verdict of a whole for the.

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Speaker 2: Story, which, yeah, duh, we're.

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Speaker 1: Almost at the end of this specific story. We have

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Speaker 1: many more in this episode, But what are we thinking

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Speaker 1: right now? Sam?

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Speaker 2: If you're the sister, if you're the stepsister. What do

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Speaker 2: you do? What's your course of action? I mean, Opie

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Speaker 2: is so entitled, I would just put a go low contact.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I think we need to put OPI

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Speaker 1: in time out.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because this is like so ridiculous.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, let's get into the update. Four days later,

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Speaker 1: obviously none of you value family. Here we go, Here

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Speaker 1: we go. One of you felt the need to track

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Speaker 1: down Ellie and send her the post oh oh my god,

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00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:41,160
Speaker 1: which was unnecessary and cruel. She texted me this yesterday

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Speaker 1: morning with this, Hey, someone sent me a Reddit post.

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Speaker 1: I am still processing all the things you said about me.

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Speaker 1: I knew you didn't care for me, and I knew

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Speaker 1: you resented me when we were kids. I didn't know

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Speaker 1: you were capable of denigrating my character to that.

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Speaker 2: Extende denigrating that's them. I t F word right there, OPI.

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Speaker 2: He's probably stupid words, big words. What does that mean?

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Speaker 1: Grading?

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Speaker 2: I'm not cheese.

349
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:10,960
Speaker 1: I have never done anything but treat you like a sister,

350
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:14,760
Speaker 1: using my real name, all of my personal information, to

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Speaker 1: the extent that someone could google and track me down

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Speaker 1: that easily. You know, I'm a private person. What if

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Speaker 1: someone else at works he's it. What if effing anyone

354
00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:24,080
Speaker 1: sees it? I left a comment in anger, but I

355
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Speaker 1: deleted it. I cannot believe you would make this so

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Speaker 1: public and I should not be stooping to your level.

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Speaker 1: As for the wedding, You're on your own and I

358
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Speaker 1: am not paying for anything, attending or participating in any way.

359
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Speaker 2: I do not deserve this boom. I mean that's true.

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Speaker 2: Therely is she smart? She knows how to set boundaries.

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Speaker 2: Am I let's go.

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Speaker 1: I want to see her. I want to hear a

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Speaker 1: story from her. We need we need some good relations

364
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Speaker 1: to hear.

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Speaker 2: About her science crap. Right, Yeah, I think it's interesting.

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Speaker 1: I'm blocking your number and I would appreciate it if

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Speaker 1: you didn't try to contact me through other means. I've

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Speaker 1: told Dad that if he wants to see me again,

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Speaker 1: he can come visit me. Ideally, we will not see

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Speaker 1: each other again. I talked to my fiance and told

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Speaker 1: him through tears, what Ellie had done. Even he turned

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Speaker 1: on me. He started screaming at me about how I

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Speaker 1: shouldn't have asked Ellie and how I didn't tell him

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Speaker 1: during the planning that she was paying for it. I

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Speaker 1: tried to explain to him but he won't stop screaming

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Speaker 1: at me. So, just to be clear, this is back

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00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:27,040
Speaker 1: to So now we're going back to I think Op's

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00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:31,360
Speaker 1: perspective and story. Yep, So even Opie's husband didn't know

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Speaker 1: that her whole plan was to go to her sister

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Speaker 1: Ellie and try to make her pay for ridiculous He

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Speaker 1: called me names, screamed at me while I was already crying,

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Speaker 1: and then left. She has everyone wrapped around her finger.

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Speaker 1: She's so manipulative. I don't know who I can even

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Speaker 1: turn to right now because she has them all convinced

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Speaker 1: she's so perfect.

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Speaker 2: Maybe it's because you're bad person. Oh not a bad person.

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Speaker 2: Here's making very dumb decisions, yes.

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Speaker 1: Making the bad decisions over here. My mom is the

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Speaker 1: only one I can trust right now. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: stay with her for a while. By the way, you

391
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:08,680
Speaker 1: can stay with us for a while. Sixty three days

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Speaker 1: in fact straight because she go do Apple, Spotify, iHeart podcasts,

393
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:16,040
Speaker 1: and search. Okay, storytime, you can listen to sixty three

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00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,600
Speaker 1: straight days of content. We have a huge catalog for

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00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:22,160
Speaker 1: you to binge and enjoy. But ladies and gentlemen, we're

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Speaker 1: about to get into the final part. But Sam, last thoughts,

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Speaker 1: closing thoughts here, I.

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Speaker 2: Mean this person op so entitled, very silly. I'm glad

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Speaker 2: that our sister's standing her ground.

400
00:20:34,119 --> 00:20:38,080
Speaker 1: Yes, agreed. Ellie has been ruining my life since I

401
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Speaker 1: was seventeen, and now she's managed to ruin my relationship.

402
00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,200
Speaker 1: I cannot believe you people have sided with her when

403
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Speaker 1: all she's ever done is destroy my life. She's off

404
00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:48,360
Speaker 1: in a whole other state and once again is facing

405
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:52,280
Speaker 1: no consequences for her actions. Her actions of attending MIT

406
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:56,080
Speaker 1: and being successful terrible. How dare you? I found her

407
00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:59,480
Speaker 1: work email online from a thing she published and messaged her,

408
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,520
Speaker 1: blowing through the boundaries. Okay, I love it. She still

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00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:05,640
Speaker 1: hasn't responded yet, but I will let you all know

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Speaker 1: when she does.

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Speaker 2: Man, the finger is everywhere, but pointing at yourself.

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Speaker 1: That's where it.

413
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Speaker 2: Needs to be, or it needs to be.

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Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, I have to ski diddly daddle.

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Speaker 2: Ski diddally daddle.

416
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:23,159
Speaker 1: But I will passage to my good friend Sam and Sophia.

417
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Speaker 2: Who walked in with such great timing.

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Speaker 1: I love you all.

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Speaker 2: See you a super baba b Johnny Baha me he's

420
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,520
Speaker 2: JOHNI og host here we're gonna get back to the stories,

421
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:31,119
Speaker 2: but here's a quick three minute break of as from

422
00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:33,840
Speaker 2: our sponsors. I refuse to be an uncle to my

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Speaker 2: brother's child. He threatened to cut me off.

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Speaker 3: Well, that's not your kid.

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Speaker 2: We're identical twins. Growing up, we were stereotypically close, like

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Speaker 2: twins are. However, when he was nineteen, he started going

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Speaker 2: out with his now wife, who was seventeen, and they've

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Speaker 2: been together since. I get on with his wife, my

429
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,639
Speaker 2: sister in law, but she's caused a few issues in

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Speaker 2: my family over the years, a clash of personality, let's say.

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Speaker 2: But after a while we started to get on. What

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00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:02,399
Speaker 2: who says get on? That's like a British thing, right,

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Speaker 2: We'll get all right, right right away? Getting on. By

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Speaker 2: the way, this comes from delete And if you want

435
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,760
Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, go to reddit dot com

436
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:15,640
Speaker 2: slash okay storytime subreddits. He's had a fifteen year old boy,

437
00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:17,720
Speaker 2: a twelve year old boy, and a ten year old boy.

438
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:20,080
Speaker 2: I have a twelve year old daughter from my previous

439
00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:22,160
Speaker 2: relationship who lives with me and my wife full time.

440
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:25,200
Speaker 2: We can't have kids together, so my brother has made

441
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:29,080
Speaker 2: me the guardian of his kids. As he is my daughter,

442
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:33,000
Speaker 2: and I've also been close to them also, almost like

443
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,800
Speaker 2: a second dad. Our twelve year olds were only born

444
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:39,399
Speaker 2: a day apart, so they're like siblings and spend a

445
00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:41,879
Speaker 2: lot of time together. Just over a year ago, it

446
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:49,240
Speaker 2: came out his wife was having an affair rough and

447
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:53,760
Speaker 2: they separated and she got with the guy, which is

448
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:57,080
Speaker 2: worse having an affair. And talked about this, not getting

449
00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:58,440
Speaker 2: with the guy or having an affair and getting with

450
00:22:58,480 --> 00:22:58,720
Speaker 2: the guy.

451
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:01,160
Speaker 3: I think having an affair.

452
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:05,880
Speaker 2: I don't know which would you choose? You can only

453
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:06,520
Speaker 2: choose one.

454
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:10,080
Speaker 3: Not getting not getting with the guys worse.

455
00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:13,240
Speaker 2: Getting with the guys worse worse. Okay, do you agree?

456
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:15,159
Speaker 2: Let us know in the comments. My bro and his

457
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:18,880
Speaker 2: wife eventually reconciled when the guy bailed and canceled their

458
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:22,000
Speaker 2: divorce and are now back together doing all the therapy

459
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:25,840
Speaker 2: and counseling you can name. Wow, that's right.

460
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:30,320
Speaker 3: Oh man, man still he said, yeah, you can come back.

461
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:33,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's all right. Itecond place ain't bad, you know,

462
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:37,760
Speaker 2: that's still get a medal. I told him I'll be

463
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:40,600
Speaker 2: civil to her because she's his missus, but I doubt

464
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:45,439
Speaker 2: I'll ever be cool with her. Yeah, she begrudgingly understands. However,

465
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:47,320
Speaker 2: what he didn't tell us when they got back together

466
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:52,480
Speaker 2: was that she was pregnant with the other man's kid.

467
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,119
Speaker 2: We only found out six weeks ago when he announced

468
00:23:57,359 --> 00:24:00,680
Speaker 2: he was at the hospital with his wife a baby.

469
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:03,719
Speaker 2: She had a little girl, and he's taking her on

470
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:07,920
Speaker 2: as his own. On the birth certificate. Our sur name

471
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:11,480
Speaker 2: the works even named her after our late aunt who

472
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:14,399
Speaker 2: we're close to. Usually, when my nephews were born, I

473
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:16,359
Speaker 2: was the first one of the hospital. However, I haven't

474
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:19,119
Speaker 2: been there at all. In my eyes, it's not my niece.

475
00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:22,840
Speaker 2: Just to stepchild. I think he's a sap personally and

476
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:24,960
Speaker 2: I wouldn't do it. But there you go.

477
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:28,680
Speaker 3: Immediately, I think you're a bit the a hole, Opie. Yeah, why,

478
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:31,720
Speaker 3: I think that if he has accepted that child as

479
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:36,040
Speaker 3: his own, like full on adopted this is my last

480
00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:39,080
Speaker 3: name name, it out like he is full in on

481
00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:44,000
Speaker 3: the parenting. That's a child. I personally, I understand that

482
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:48,320
Speaker 3: there is a difference between an adopted child and what

483
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:52,160
Speaker 3: is happening here. But in a sense, he has adopted

484
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:54,720
Speaker 3: this child and therefore it is his child.

485
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:58,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I guess maybe, op he is just having

486
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:00,960
Speaker 2: a little bit more issue with the fact that he

487
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,119
Speaker 2: took back this person that.

488
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:05,280
Speaker 3: Which is absolutely real. Fairs, I understand that.

489
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:09,600
Speaker 2: I agree, I agree that the child, the not accepting child,

490
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:11,400
Speaker 2: is a little rough, but let us know what you think.

491
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:14,080
Speaker 2: So about a week later, he wanted to meet up,

492
00:25:14,119 --> 00:25:16,520
Speaker 2: so I obliged. He asked me where I've been and

493
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:18,720
Speaker 2: why I haven't come to see the kid. I said,

494
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:21,000
Speaker 2: I've been busy and I haven't wanted to meet her who.

495
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 2: He was so shocked and said he expected better from

496
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:27,080
Speaker 2: the uncle of his daughter, and how do I expect

497
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:29,199
Speaker 2: to be the guardian of her with that attitude. I

498
00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:32,399
Speaker 2: was like, I'm not her uncle, and I'm definitely not

499
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:35,359
Speaker 2: going to be her guardian. We got into a bit

500
00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:37,880
Speaker 2: of a fight and he stormed off. We haven't spoken since,

501
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:40,440
Speaker 2: but he texted me the next day and said unless

502
00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:44,000
Speaker 2: I can accept her as his and become her uncle,

503
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:46,280
Speaker 2: we'll never speak again.

504
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 3: I mean, I understand, I understand where he's coming from, obviously,

505
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:51,240
Speaker 3: Like I have my own thoughts and feelings, and so

506
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:54,600
Speaker 3: does Opee about him accepting his cheating wife and like

507
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:55,359
Speaker 3: taking her back.

508
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:57,160
Speaker 2: But I think this is a different case.

509
00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:58,040
Speaker 3: This is a different case.

510
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:00,960
Speaker 2: My nephews haven't really spoken to me either. My daughter

511
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:04,560
Speaker 2: came to me last night crying, saying her cousin slash

512
00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:08,280
Speaker 2: my nephew was really upset. But I'm basically rejecting a sister.

513
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:11,480
Speaker 2: It's really upset her, and she thinks I should and

514
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:14,720
Speaker 2: she's always wanted a cousin who's girl. I haven't got

515
00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:18,280
Speaker 2: any words for her that'll make sense. It's causing a

516
00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:20,960
Speaker 2: real family issue. My dad thinks I'm being unfair, my

517
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:23,439
Speaker 2: mom's on my side, and my wife thinks I'm being harsh,

518
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:25,840
Speaker 2: but is supporting my decision. I don't know what to do.

519
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:28,040
Speaker 2: Reddit I love my brother to bits and miss him

520
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:31,480
Speaker 2: and my nephews, but in my eyes, she's not my family.

521
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,560
Speaker 2: She's his stepkid. I have nothing else her, but I

522
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 2: don't want to be her uncle. I especially don't want

523
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:42,320
Speaker 2: to be a guardian. What should I do? We have

524
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:45,199
Speaker 2: I think you have some thoughts, we have some comments,

525
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:47,480
Speaker 2: and we have an update from this story that's gonna

526
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:49,399
Speaker 2: come in a little bit. But Sophia, what do you

527
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:52,960
Speaker 2: think is OPI the a hole? And what should be?

528
00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:54,920
Speaker 3: You just have to decide whether or not you want

529
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:57,240
Speaker 3: to have a relationship with your brother. What's more important

530
00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:02,840
Speaker 3: you sticking to your you know, feelings about his wife

531
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:06,480
Speaker 3: or having a relationship with your brother and his kids.

532
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:09,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I think I think framing it as

533
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:14,159
Speaker 2: like he's adopting a child, I think puts in perspective

534
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:18,719
Speaker 2: how you should treat this child. I think I understand

535
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:21,640
Speaker 2: not wanting to be chummy with his ex.

536
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:25,520
Speaker 3: Absolutely I would not be chummy with I get that.

537
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:28,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that is okay. But I think once

538
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:31,040
Speaker 2: he's like fully adopted this child, the child is blameless.

539
00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:34,399
Speaker 2: She didn't do anything, and he's basically adopting her. So

540
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 2: think of it as an adoption.

541
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:39,359
Speaker 3: I mean, the thing is like he is adopting her. Yeah,

542
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:44,880
Speaker 3: like legally he is adopting her. So like, I think

543
00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:48,920
Speaker 3: it's that thing of when parents want to control their

544
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:52,400
Speaker 3: kids so much that they're like, I'm going to disown

545
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:54,320
Speaker 3: you if you don't follow my rules.

546
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:55,000
Speaker 2: Yeah.

547
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:57,520
Speaker 3: It's like, wait, but you're you want to like you

548
00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:00,080
Speaker 3: care about your kids so much that you're willing to

549
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 3: let them go.

550
00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:04,639
Speaker 2: Yeah. You know sometimes the people you care about most

551
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:06,160
Speaker 2: you gotta let them free.

552
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:09,239
Speaker 3: Which yeah, in this case, no, No, it's like you care, Oh,

553
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:11,200
Speaker 3: you care about your brother so much and how wronged

554
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 3: he was that you're willing to lose out on his

555
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:15,480
Speaker 3: life and his children's life.

556
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, it doesn't make any sense. And Jamie Photography

557
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:21,040
Speaker 2: Chick says, I feel like he's sort of the A hole.

558
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:25,119
Speaker 2: I think he is the AOI and then uh, Sam

559
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:28,800
Speaker 2: the Caterpillar says, even if it was a step kid

560
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,760
Speaker 2: in a different regard, that's messed up to treat them.

561
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:35,760
Speaker 3: Absolutely absolutely, But we got.

562
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 2: An update all right, after a lot of thinking, I've

563
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:42,200
Speaker 2: sent him a message saying we really need to talk.

564
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 2: He more or less agreed straight away and we're probably

565
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:47,720
Speaker 2: going to meet up this weekend. Basically after some time

566
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:51,080
Speaker 2: chatting to you all and thinking a lot, I truly

567
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:54,040
Speaker 2: don't know how I feel. I won't lie and say

568
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 2: I'd immediately go, yeah, I'll be her uncle and guardian,

569
00:28:57,240 --> 00:28:59,280
Speaker 2: but I need to hear him out, what he has

570
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:02,160
Speaker 2: to say, tell him I feel, and go from there.

571
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:06,480
Speaker 2: Edit to add, the thing that I'm absolutely most opposed

572
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:09,000
Speaker 2: to is being her guardian. Some people know it as

573
00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:11,080
Speaker 2: god parent. Basically, if he and his wife were to

574
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:14,239
Speaker 2: pass away, I take them on and raise them. I

575
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:16,800
Speaker 2: gladly do it for my nephews, as they're practically like

576
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:19,440
Speaker 2: sons to me with us two being twins. But I

577
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:22,960
Speaker 2: couldn't raise her knowing she's not my blood.

578
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:26,080
Speaker 3: I think that is a little bit more fair for

579
00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:27,760
Speaker 3: him to be. Like, I don't want to be your guardian,

580
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:29,320
Speaker 3: but I think.

581
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:32,880
Speaker 2: You have to why because that's like a responsible.

582
00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:34,920
Speaker 3: That's a responsibility that goes into like you actually are

583
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:40,160
Speaker 3: taking in a child like the reasoning though I agree, however,

584
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 3: I think that you should look at why do you

585
00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:49,240
Speaker 3: see your nephews as sons? Is it because you're related

586
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:51,280
Speaker 3: to them or is it because you've built a relationship

587
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:51,680
Speaker 3: with them?

588
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:55,120
Speaker 2: And I think it's like probably the second. Yeah, I

589
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:57,720
Speaker 2: don't like the focus on the blood thing, you know,

590
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:01,600
Speaker 2: it's very hyper focused on it. Family isn't about blood.

591
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:03,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, Miss Chabers says, so he'd split up the siblings. Yeah,

592
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:07,160
Speaker 3: like these are these kids are related? The kids are

593
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:08,880
Speaker 3: related or have siblings?

594
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:12,360
Speaker 2: Comment one, your brother has claimed this child as his daughter.

595
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:14,760
Speaker 2: That makes you her uncle, just as if she was

596
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:18,240
Speaker 2: an unrelated child he chose to adopt. Yeah, don't punish

597
00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:21,280
Speaker 2: this kid for her mother's indiscretions. While we can debate

598
00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:23,920
Speaker 2: about the wisdom of your brother's choices. He's clearly doing

599
00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:26,480
Speaker 2: the kind and loving thing, and if you love your brother,

600
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:29,520
Speaker 2: you need to accept the people he considers family. Reply,

601
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:33,360
Speaker 2: he's not punishing the kid. Kids are entitled to a safe,

602
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:36,800
Speaker 2: loving home and a rich educational environment. They are not

603
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:40,240
Speaker 2: entitled to love of extended family members. That's sweet to have,

604
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:44,640
Speaker 2: but isn't punishing to say no thanks to the baby

605
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:48,040
Speaker 2: conceived during your sister in law's extramarital affair.

606
00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:50,880
Speaker 3: I disagree. Yeah, of course we're not entitled to our

607
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 3: extended family members love. But also, oh, he can't just

608
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:58,000
Speaker 3: pick and choose who he loves in this specific like

609
00:30:58,120 --> 00:30:59,480
Speaker 3: in one family unit. You know.

610
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:01,440
Speaker 2: Well, just I mean I feel like.

611
00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:04,480
Speaker 3: I like to an extent it would like I just

612
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:08,080
Speaker 3: imagine one of our aunts or uncles being like, yeah,

613
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:09,800
Speaker 3: I'll take Sam, but I won't take so Fi.

614
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:12,680
Speaker 2: She doesn't look like enough like our family.

615
00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:14,600
Speaker 3: Yeah I don't look look like Sam.

616
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 2: He looks too weird. Comment too, You need to take

617
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:20,920
Speaker 2: a cue from your brother. He's designed to make this

618
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:23,120
Speaker 2: child his. He's going to raise it as his. I

619
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,480
Speaker 2: don't blame your brother one bit for being upset with

620
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 2: you. You don't have to like what his wife did. But

621
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:32,840
Speaker 2: this seems like an unnecessary punishment to an innocent child

622
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 2: and nop He responds, as I said, he made this

623
00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:37,360
Speaker 2: a lot worse by hiding it all and giving us

624
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:40,440
Speaker 2: no warning, no adjustment. It's not like surprising someone with

625
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:43,560
Speaker 2: a puppy or something. It's another effing human.

626
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:47,160
Speaker 3: But is that really any of your business? What like

627
00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:50,240
Speaker 3: the affair? Is that not his kind of business?

628
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:52,320
Speaker 2: I guess like he's making it his business because he

629
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:57,120
Speaker 2: wants his brother to have like boundaries up to be respected.

630
00:31:57,160 --> 00:31:59,560
Speaker 3: But I know he's just saying, like, oh, he's sprung

631
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:01,240
Speaker 3: it on us out of nowhere. Why didn't you tell

632
00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:03,440
Speaker 3: this right when it happened? Like is it your business

633
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 3: to know about the problems in their marriage?

634
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:09,720
Speaker 2: Yeah? Giving us no warning? I mean, I yeah, I.

635
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:12,560
Speaker 3: Probably give you you know, probably was worried about how

636
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:13,200
Speaker 3: you would react.

637
00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:16,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, But even so, like I don't even know if

638
00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:19,520
Speaker 2: it I mean, do you A question is do you

639
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:23,480
Speaker 2: think it was a good idea for the brother to

640
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:27,320
Speaker 2: say at all of it that his new daughter was

641
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:31,800
Speaker 2: a product of an affair. I think it may have

642
00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:33,840
Speaker 2: just come out anyway, But yeah.

643
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:35,760
Speaker 3: I think it probably would have come out I don't

644
00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:39,440
Speaker 3: know if he, like you guys might disagree. I don't

645
00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:43,000
Speaker 3: know if he necessarily had to tell anyone. I think

646
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,520
Speaker 3: he would have been totally within his rights to keep

647
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 3: that kind of to himself.

648
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:49,720
Speaker 2: Protects the daughter as well. Yeah, stuff like this.

649
00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:52,560
Speaker 3: From stuff like this, I'm not sure like what his

650
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:54,920
Speaker 3: reasoning in telling. Maybe he just wanted to be honest.

651
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:56,400
Speaker 3: I don't know.

652
00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:58,520
Speaker 2: It's not like a puppy or expected to embrace with

653
00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:02,720
Speaker 2: no warning. But there is an update. Basically, I met

654
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:04,560
Speaker 2: up with my twin yesterday and we had it out.

655
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:06,360
Speaker 2: I called him out on the way he has handled

656
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:08,560
Speaker 2: it all, saying it's fed up. He kept me in

657
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:10,560
Speaker 2: the dark. The way he told me tagging me on

658
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:13,120
Speaker 2: an Instagram post with his new child was an utter shock.

659
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:15,360
Speaker 2: I had no time to process it. And then he

660
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:17,920
Speaker 2: basically gives me an ultimatum and cuts me off. I this,

661
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:20,240
Speaker 2: it's not right. He defended himself by saying if he

662
00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:22,880
Speaker 2: told me he was taking her back and taking the

663
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,480
Speaker 2: child on, I'd probably try to talk him out of it,

664
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 2: and he was that vulnerable he would have listened to me.

665
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:31,920
Speaker 2: He said he could see how happy his kids were

666
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:35,239
Speaker 2: having a baby brother or sister, and it was the

667
00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:38,240
Speaker 2: happiest his wife's been in years, so he went along

668
00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:40,600
Speaker 2: with it for their sake. I said, yeah, I probably

669
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:43,640
Speaker 2: would have tried, but ultimately, if he insisted he wanted

670
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:46,320
Speaker 2: to do it, I'd support him and would have been

671
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:49,600
Speaker 2: a lot more accepting of playing the uncle role. He said,

672
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:51,960
Speaker 2: he sees where I'm coming from, because he feels the

673
00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:54,680
Speaker 2: same way now that the emotion of her being born

674
00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:58,640
Speaker 2: has passed away, down has gone down, has gone down.

675
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 2: He's really struggling to bond. He said. He loves her,

676
00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 2: but more because she's a baby and he doesn't feel

677
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:07,480
Speaker 2: that bond that he did with the boys, and he's worried.

678
00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:09,799
Speaker 2: He's starting to show. He's pretending to sleep at night

679
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:11,880
Speaker 2: when she cries, so his ex gets up a feeder,

680
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:14,720
Speaker 2: and he was always up with his boys letting her sleep,

681
00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:16,880
Speaker 2: he said. The times he does feed her, he just

682
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:20,239
Speaker 2: sits there and stares. He said, he'll also purposely take

683
00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:22,240
Speaker 2: a long time to go and get shopping in food

684
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:25,719
Speaker 2: and just sit there in his car having a cry.

685
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:28,719
Speaker 3: Which is again, this is now a totally separate issue

686
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:32,759
Speaker 3: where this guy has taken on the role of a

687
00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:36,600
Speaker 3: father that he wasn't, you know, emotionally ready for her.

688
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:38,920
Speaker 2: He was emotionally ready for any I think he feels

689
00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:41,160
Speaker 2: now that the realization, oh.

690
00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:44,240
Speaker 3: She cheated on me and had a child with someone else.

691
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:46,520
Speaker 3: And this is I think, a different issue than op

692
00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:48,760
Speaker 3: accepting the kid as an uncle.

693
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:51,840
Speaker 2: You know, figure he's really depressed and thinks he should

694
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 2: get time off work, but knows he can't as the

695
00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:56,040
Speaker 2: family won't cope with him being out of work. Honestly,

696
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:58,439
Speaker 2: that fft me up. He cried. I and cried too.

697
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:02,080
Speaker 2: I feel so bad he's suffering, and I now get

698
00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:04,560
Speaker 2: why he acted the way he did to me. He

699
00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:08,080
Speaker 2: was trying to convey how happy he is with it all. Now.

700
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:10,720
Speaker 2: We never cry. Growing up, our mom hated us crying

701
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:13,960
Speaker 2: and told us off if we did. Her attitude was

702
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:17,799
Speaker 2: that my dad doesn't cry and we shouldn't either. By

703
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,080
Speaker 2: the way, you should never cry because we have full

704
00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:23,520
Speaker 2: episodes of stories just like this. Go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

705
00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:26,239
Speaker 2: or your favorite podcast app and search. Okay, story time,

706
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:31,000
Speaker 2: there's another relevant update, but let's discuss Cia. What do

707
00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:32,759
Speaker 2: you think where we're landing.

708
00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:36,440
Speaker 3: Well, I think if we could take this whole situation

709
00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:41,839
Speaker 3: back and brother comes to Ope and says, Hey, my

710
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:47,879
Speaker 3: ex now married wife again had a baby with another guy.

711
00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:50,880
Speaker 3: I'm going to adopt the baby and raise it as

712
00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:52,840
Speaker 3: my own. I want you to be the uncle and

713
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:56,240
Speaker 3: also godparents. Then I think Opee could have said something

714
00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:59,080
Speaker 3: along the lines of I, of course we'll support you,

715
00:35:59,719 --> 00:36:02,480
Speaker 3: but I want to make sure that you're ready for this, Like,

716
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:05,319
Speaker 3: you don't have to take in this child. You don't

717
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:08,840
Speaker 3: bear that responsibility. That would have been probably.

718
00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:11,520
Speaker 2: Stage wisdom, like I'm gonna support you whatever you do,

719
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:12,719
Speaker 2: but let's just think about this.

720
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:15,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is a big responsibility. This kid is not

721
00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:21,880
Speaker 3: like was conceived through an affair. You were betrayed. You know,

722
00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:27,160
Speaker 3: you don't owe your wife this this role, and.

723
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:28,960
Speaker 2: You don't even owe the kid this.

724
00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:33,200
Speaker 3: No, no, like, this is angel move. This is angel move. Uh.

725
00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:36,920
Speaker 3: And then after that, you know, like still emphasizing that

726
00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:39,640
Speaker 3: you're gonna be there to support if he makes that decision,

727
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:42,239
Speaker 3: but also telling him you know what could come out

728
00:36:42,239 --> 00:36:44,399
Speaker 3: of it. That would be if you could go back

729
00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:47,719
Speaker 3: in time, that would probably be the best way to

730
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:48,200
Speaker 3: go about it.

731
00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:49,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I still think you can.

732
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:51,600
Speaker 3: But now that we're here, I think you go to

733
00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:53,640
Speaker 3: him and you say like, hey, I'm going to support you.

734
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:58,200
Speaker 3: You've made a decision. He's already on the freaking birth certificate.

735
00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:02,719
Speaker 2: But he could if there is give up parentz. Yeah,

736
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:05,359
Speaker 2: if there is knowledge of infidelity, you could take your

737
00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:05,799
Speaker 2: name off.

738
00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:11,480
Speaker 3: However, he knew about it before he put his name

739
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:11,799
Speaker 3: on it.

740
00:37:12,239 --> 00:37:14,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I don't know how that works. He could

741
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,320
Speaker 2: just like he didn't really know about.

742
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:19,399
Speaker 3: It, you know, he didn't really understand it. I don't

743
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:23,400
Speaker 3: know what his like, what he can do in terms of,

744
00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:25,920
Speaker 3: like legally with the child, but I think that he

745
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:31,840
Speaker 3: absolutely needs therapy, and I think that right now. I

746
00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:34,359
Speaker 3: don't think you can necessarily tell him what to do,

747
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:37,880
Speaker 3: but I think you can offer support as a brother.

748
00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:40,719
Speaker 2: Agreed, agreed, But we got a little bit more to

749
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:43,319
Speaker 2: the story. So after we had our moment, I said,

750
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:45,400
Speaker 2: I'll meet her, but not yet. I'll probably do it

751
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:47,400
Speaker 2: next weekend. He'll come over with the kids so my

752
00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:49,920
Speaker 2: daughter can meet her too. I said, I can't promise

753
00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:51,680
Speaker 2: i'll be your guarding yet. I need to feel that

754
00:37:51,719 --> 00:37:54,000
Speaker 2: bond to have with his boys, which he said he

755
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:56,319
Speaker 2: gets but hates the thought that I could take them

756
00:37:56,400 --> 00:38:00,000
Speaker 2: in but turn her away. Yeah, So as a compromise.

757
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:02,520
Speaker 2: My wife's agreed to be her guardian for now so

758
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:04,759
Speaker 2: they wouldn't be split up, which works for us until

759
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:07,759
Speaker 2: I decide. And some comments comment one, poor brother, I

760
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:09,520
Speaker 2: think his body and mind are sending him a lot

761
00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:12,359
Speaker 2: of messages that he's not listening to. If getting back

762
00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:15,160
Speaker 2: with her is making him so miserable and depressed, as

763
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:18,520
Speaker 2: most people would, he shouldn't be with her, And OPI says,

764
00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:21,239
Speaker 2: for real, every time he looks at the baby, his mind, heart, body,

765
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:24,840
Speaker 2: and swear are probably just like uugh oof ick ooh,

766
00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:26,759
Speaker 2: And he just blocks it out and stares at her

767
00:38:27,040 --> 00:38:30,040
Speaker 2: and then spends part of every day crying the secret. Yeah,

768
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:32,640
Speaker 2: I'm gonna guess that this isn't going to work out,

769
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:34,880
Speaker 2: and he isn't going to be a good dad to

770
00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:36,600
Speaker 2: this kid if he tries to stick it out. A

771
00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:39,560
Speaker 2: child of an affair is, sadly, in addition to simply

772
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:43,120
Speaker 2: being a child, a constant reminder to the betrayed spouse

773
00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:45,640
Speaker 2: of the marital indiscretion.

774
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:49,480
Speaker 3: Sam the Caterpillar says his family not accepting the kid

775
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:52,120
Speaker 3: or his choice to take it on probably isn't helping

776
00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:52,640
Speaker 3: with the bonding.

777
00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:54,920
Speaker 2: Probably not comment to you, You need to have another

778
00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:56,879
Speaker 2: serious talk with your brother, telling him to go get

779
00:38:56,880 --> 00:39:00,000
Speaker 2: therapy now to figure out if he will ever really

780
00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:02,040
Speaker 2: be able to bond with this baby, because if he can't,

781
00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:04,440
Speaker 2: it will show no matter how much he tries to

782
00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:07,279
Speaker 2: fake it. She will feel it, his sons will feel it,

783
00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:10,319
Speaker 2: and it will f up all the kids that he

784
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:13,640
Speaker 2: needs to figure out that crap asap. So if he

785
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:16,360
Speaker 2: can't feel for her what he feels for his sons,

786
00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:19,040
Speaker 2: he can leave before she's attached and a wear Seriously,

787
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:22,040
Speaker 2: if he convinces himself he can force it out or

788
00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:24,759
Speaker 2: fake it and stays, he will massively f up all

789
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:29,319
Speaker 2: three kids permanently and another reply. But most importantly, he

790
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:34,640
Speaker 2: also needs to know this isn't his ault. He didn't

791
00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:37,640
Speaker 2: ask for the situation. He has had it forced upon

792
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:40,680
Speaker 2: him and has tried to do the right thing by

793
00:39:40,719 --> 00:39:45,239
Speaker 2: everyone but himself and totally at his own expense emotionally, financially,

794
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 2: and physically. He needs to know if he wants to

795
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:51,440
Speaker 2: throw the hat in, he didn't create the situation. So

796
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:55,040
Speaker 2: it's basically like, hey, you can end this for yourself

797
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:55,480
Speaker 2: if you want.

798
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:57,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I think it's like not a thing, Like

799
00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:00,719
Speaker 3: it's a thing that he the longer he off on

800
00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:02,080
Speaker 3: the worst.

801
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:04,080
Speaker 2: Is going to go oh yeah, yeah, I mean he's like,

802
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:06,319
Speaker 2: he's just gonna get more attached. The baby's gonna get

803
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:08,600
Speaker 2: more attached, or he's gonna be more cemented in it's

804
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:10,560
Speaker 2: it is not well, if he gets.

805
00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:11,920
Speaker 3: More attached, then that's a better situation.

806
00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:14,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, but like I mean in terms of more attached

807
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:19,359
Speaker 2: without more and more physically or like economically attached without

808
00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:22,960
Speaker 2: emotional attachment needed to care for this baby. Well is

809
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:28,080
Speaker 2: oh boy, oh boy. But we got another story, sure do,

810
00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:31,040
Speaker 2: because that's where that one ends. Hey, Sam, we're gonna

811
00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:32,560
Speaker 2: get back to the stories. But here's three minutes of

812
00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:33,640
Speaker 2: bads from our sponsors.

813
00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:38,000
Speaker 3: I said, boundaries with my husband's cousin's wife. It turned

814
00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:38,960
Speaker 3: everyone against me.

815
00:40:39,239 --> 00:40:42,320
Speaker 2: Oh no, cousin wife Jane.

816
00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:44,960
Speaker 3: The person we are trying to distance ourselves from Bill,

817
00:40:45,239 --> 00:40:48,080
Speaker 3: her husband. Okay, the characters in this story.

818
00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:50,720
Speaker 2: Let's hear this story. I'm locked in story.

819
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:53,680
Speaker 3: Me and my husband used to be friends with his

820
00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:57,520
Speaker 3: cousin and his wife. We usually get along, but over

821
00:40:57,560 --> 00:41:00,720
Speaker 3: the years they have become more pushy and mean. Oh

822
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:03,359
Speaker 3: Jane constantly wants us to hang out with her and

823
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:05,960
Speaker 3: whenever we say no, she gets upset and we'll be like,

824
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:08,680
Speaker 3: I saw you hanging out at so and so's house.

825
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:10,160
Speaker 3: Why can't you hang out with us?

826
00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:10,440
Speaker 1: Oh?

827
00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:12,640
Speaker 2: Why can't you invite me and pick me energy? Come on,

828
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:13,279
Speaker 2: get out of here.

829
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:16,200
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Whispers of Disease and

830
00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:17,680
Speaker 3: if you would to submit your own stories, go to

831
00:41:17,719 --> 00:41:20,879
Speaker 3: the r slash Okay, storytime, separate it. So she got

832
00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:23,800
Speaker 3: upset that my daughter has a best friend that isn't

833
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:24,880
Speaker 3: her son.

834
00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:28,920
Speaker 2: Ooh, she got upset.

835
00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:31,280
Speaker 3: Because I didn't want to hang out during the lockdown.

836
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:32,560
Speaker 2: Ooh.

837
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:35,160
Speaker 3: She also would randomly just decide to show up at

838
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:37,160
Speaker 3: my house when I would ignore her messages.

839
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:38,360
Speaker 2: Oh big you.

840
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:41,400
Speaker 3: She also has family that live in my neighborhood, and

841
00:41:41,480 --> 00:41:43,680
Speaker 3: I would get a snarky I think you had fun

842
00:41:43,719 --> 00:41:46,719
Speaker 3: outside today. You should tell me when you're going for

843
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:47,960
Speaker 3: a walk so I could come.

844
00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:51,960
Speaker 2: Why don't you, like, I don't know, do your own things? Yeah?

845
00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:53,120
Speaker 3: Why don't you have your own life?

846
00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:55,600
Speaker 2: Yeah? Maybe maybe what you can do if all right,

847
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:58,640
Speaker 2: a little advice if people aren't inviting you to things,

848
00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:00,640
Speaker 2: create things and other people.

849
00:42:01,239 --> 00:42:04,120
Speaker 3: Yes, that is the advice that we have taken. Yep,

850
00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:06,920
Speaker 3: and implemented, and you know what, it's working.

851
00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:07,920
Speaker 2: It's working now.

852
00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:11,759
Speaker 3: We have a friend group Boones. But every time I

853
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:15,680
Speaker 3: am around Jane, she either ignores me, puts me down,

854
00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:17,839
Speaker 3: or tries to shame me for not having as much

855
00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:21,840
Speaker 3: stuff as her. The final straw was my child's birthday party.

856
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:24,320
Speaker 3: My husband wasn't able to be at the party because

857
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:27,160
Speaker 3: of work, so I didn't have his backup. Jane let

858
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:30,600
Speaker 3: her male child be pushy towards my daughter's best friend.

859
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:34,319
Speaker 3: Jane's son was interested in my daughter's bestie, so Jane

860
00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:36,799
Speaker 3: encouraged her son to call her his girlfriend.

861
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:41,440
Speaker 2: That's not how that works. You gotta ask first.

862
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:45,319
Speaker 3: Jane and Bill also called my daughter selfish because she

863
00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:47,759
Speaker 3: got upset when her son kept taking her birthday gifts

864
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:51,439
Speaker 3: away from her. Jane also loudly bragged about her two

865
00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:54,520
Speaker 3: natural births, while not so discreetly throwing shade at me

866
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:58,120
Speaker 3: because my daughter was born by c section. Well, joke's

867
00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:02,760
Speaker 3: on you, freakin' Jane, because you're your kids can't kill Macbeth.

868
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:06,920
Speaker 2: You don't know, oh, because it was like.

869
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:09,400
Speaker 3: The prophecy squat of the Scottish play.

870
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:13,799
Speaker 2: It's been so long, Get a load of this guy.

871
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:15,279
Speaker 2: They had C section back then.

872
00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:20,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, man, really, yeah, I have PTSD diagnosed by a professional.

873
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:22,799
Speaker 3: I felt like Jane and Bill spent the whole time

874
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:24,960
Speaker 3: my husband was at work trying to make the party

875
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:29,080
Speaker 3: miserable for me and my daughter. I did tell them

876
00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:31,800
Speaker 3: to leave my daughter alone and to not parent my kid,

877
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:35,760
Speaker 3: but they just acted like I didn't say anything. So naturally,

878
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:38,320
Speaker 3: my husband and I figured we just let the friendship

879
00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:43,120
Speaker 3: slowly pass away. Jane, however, is persistent. She showed up

880
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:45,920
Speaker 3: at her house unannounced on Mother's Day to give me

881
00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:49,160
Speaker 3: a gift. She originally wanted to buy me a custom ring,

882
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:51,680
Speaker 3: but I refused to tell her my ring size, and

883
00:43:51,719 --> 00:43:54,600
Speaker 3: I firmly told her I did not want her spending

884
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:55,279
Speaker 3: money on me.

885
00:43:55,520 --> 00:43:57,919
Speaker 2: I think, buy your friendship. Yeah, she's trying to buy

886
00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:01,719
Speaker 2: the friendship, and so bad that she bought me an

887
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:04,279
Speaker 2: expensive Right now, I have to spend time with her.

888
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:07,040
Speaker 3: I think she's probably bringing up all these money things

889
00:44:07,080 --> 00:44:10,160
Speaker 3: because she wants you to think that she's this cool,

890
00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:14,400
Speaker 3: you know, person with a lot of money and wealth

891
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:17,400
Speaker 3: and stuff, because that's how she thinks you get friends.

892
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:21,560
Speaker 3: I also told her repeatedly not to show up at

893
00:44:21,560 --> 00:44:24,720
Speaker 3: her house. Unless she's invited or asked to come over first.

894
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:27,680
Speaker 3: At this point, I have stopped responding to any of

895
00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:31,000
Speaker 3: Jane's messages. We hung out at my husband's grandma's house

896
00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:34,480
Speaker 3: with another cousin and his wife and kid. Basically everyone

897
00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:36,880
Speaker 3: was that that was there got an angry message from

898
00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:41,160
Speaker 3: Jane or Bill because they weren't invited. Basically everyone that

899
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:43,520
Speaker 3: was there has been treated badly by Bill and Jane.

900
00:44:43,719 --> 00:44:45,399
Speaker 3: They also showed up to the house the next day

901
00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:48,440
Speaker 3: uninvited and basically complained about us not inviting them the

902
00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:52,239
Speaker 3: previous day. You gotta you gotta get a hint.

903
00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:54,279
Speaker 2: Are so annoying.

904
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:57,080
Speaker 3: The thing is, when someone doesn't invite you to things,

905
00:44:57,680 --> 00:44:58,600
Speaker 3: you just you can't.

906
00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:01,080
Speaker 2: You can't be like in invite me. You can't be

907
00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:01,560
Speaker 2: invite me.

908
00:45:01,640 --> 00:45:03,400
Speaker 3: You can't just say, oh, invite me. Why didn't you

909
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:05,239
Speaker 3: invite me? Invite me unless you have like a really

910
00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:08,240
Speaker 3: great relationship with them, and you like have no idea

911
00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:09,359
Speaker 3: why they wouldn't, and they.

912
00:45:09,320 --> 00:45:11,439
Speaker 2: Might just say I don't like you. It was enough

913
00:45:11,480 --> 00:45:14,520
Speaker 2: to invite you. Yeah, I think it was. That might

914
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:17,879
Speaker 2: that that kind of sucks to hear, but yeah, that's

915
00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:19,480
Speaker 2: that's the truth that not everyone jells.

916
00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:21,960
Speaker 3: It's like, maybe an easier way to look at it

917
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:25,360
Speaker 3: is if you are you have a crush on someone

918
00:45:25,800 --> 00:45:29,080
Speaker 3: and they just have shown no interest in you, and

919
00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:31,399
Speaker 3: you keep chasing them and chasing them and chasing them

920
00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:32,600
Speaker 3: just embarrassing.

921
00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:34,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, but what if you've like talked like, oh, like

922
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:36,960
Speaker 2: you know, I have a little bit of interest, but

923
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:38,719
Speaker 2: like no one's you know, made a move yet.

924
00:45:38,840 --> 00:45:41,400
Speaker 3: That's okay. Then I got a message from Jane that

925
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:43,880
Speaker 3: said we saw you at grandma and laws, but she

926
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:46,480
Speaker 3: used her first name. What time works for you guys

927
00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:49,000
Speaker 3: to come over tomorrow? No time?

928
00:45:49,239 --> 00:45:52,399
Speaker 2: No time? But hey, they're employing the next the next

929
00:45:52,440 --> 00:45:54,960
Speaker 2: phase of making friends, creating their own events.

930
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:55,359
Speaker 3: That's true.

931
00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:58,839
Speaker 2: At least at least they're inviting people to their place

932
00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:00,640
Speaker 2: instead of being like, why do you meet him?

933
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:04,600
Speaker 3: Her son's name misses you guys a lot, and he

934
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:07,960
Speaker 3: won't stop crying because you didn't invite him yesterday.

935
00:46:07,480 --> 00:46:09,560
Speaker 2: It's not feel bad, stop telling him.

936
00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:11,759
Speaker 3: Jane only knew that we were there because she has

937
00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:16,000
Speaker 3: her friends stock the other cousin's wife's social media. Today,

938
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:19,080
Speaker 3: I caught Jane's cousin walking by my house slowly while

939
00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:21,840
Speaker 3: trying to look into the windows of my house. I

940
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:24,640
Speaker 3: made eye contact with her and she power walked away.

941
00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:28,160
Speaker 3: At least I know who's watching me now. It's hard

942
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:30,200
Speaker 3: for me right now because I can't exist in my

943
00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:33,680
Speaker 3: own house and neighborhood without fear of being watched and

944
00:46:33,719 --> 00:46:36,440
Speaker 3: for Jane showing up in my neighborhood and it's park.

945
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:40,680
Speaker 3: Jane has always used the excuse, well, I really like

946
00:46:40,760 --> 00:46:43,880
Speaker 3: this neighborhood and I have a family close by. Whenever

947
00:46:43,960 --> 00:46:46,840
Speaker 3: she randomly shows up at my house or when I

948
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:50,600
Speaker 3: see her walking around my neighborhood not obvious at all.

949
00:46:51,040 --> 00:46:53,840
Speaker 3: I'm so close to having a nervous breakdown. Whenever I

950
00:46:53,840 --> 00:46:56,480
Speaker 3: think too hard about this, I have really bad panic attacks.

951
00:46:57,040 --> 00:46:59,840
Speaker 3: The last time we confronted Jane and Bill on their behavior,

952
00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:03,360
Speaker 3: they went and said really mean and hurtful things to

953
00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:05,839
Speaker 3: everyone in the family that me and my husband are

954
00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:08,879
Speaker 3: close with. I don't want to move. I really love

955
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:12,840
Speaker 3: my neighborhood and my neighbors minus Jane's cousin. Edit to

956
00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:15,879
Speaker 3: add an update, I ordered security cameras for my house

957
00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:18,120
Speaker 3: so I can prove to myself that people are looking

958
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:21,200
Speaker 3: in through my windows. I also told myself, if I

959
00:47:21,239 --> 00:47:24,360
Speaker 3: get another I know Slash saw you were at so

960
00:47:24,520 --> 00:47:27,160
Speaker 3: and so's house. Message Me and my husband are just

961
00:47:27,200 --> 00:47:30,479
Speaker 3: gonna ask Jane how she knew we were there. Who

962
00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:33,560
Speaker 3: told you that? Jane? I have also advised my family

963
00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:36,879
Speaker 3: to block Jane on social media because the last time.

964
00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:40,320
Speaker 2: I meet you, Jane is like just working her little

965
00:47:40,680 --> 00:47:43,279
Speaker 2: tendrils into every part of Op's life. You need to

966
00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:45,359
Speaker 2: put up boundaries, and then everyone else needs to put

967
00:47:45,360 --> 00:47:45,880
Speaker 2: a boundaries.

968
00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:48,560
Speaker 3: She's getting all her information. Yeah, dude, she has a

969
00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:51,879
Speaker 3: little birdies everywhere because the last time I blocked Jane,

970
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:55,120
Speaker 3: she contacted my family to ask why I blocked her.

971
00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:58,200
Speaker 3: I don't think it's necessary to get a restraining order yet,

972
00:47:58,400 --> 00:48:00,480
Speaker 3: and I know Jane would just lie and say she

973
00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:03,920
Speaker 3: was concerned about us. And there is an update, folks.

974
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:05,680
Speaker 3: Any other thoughts though, Sam.

975
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:08,480
Speaker 2: I mean, I think putting as much space between you

976
00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:10,799
Speaker 2: and Jane as possible is going to be the move

977
00:48:10,840 --> 00:48:14,440
Speaker 2: because Jane, a person like Jane is not a person

978
00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:15,360
Speaker 2: that gets hints.

979
00:48:15,960 --> 00:48:18,360
Speaker 3: No, clearly, not clearly not.

980
00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:22,120
Speaker 2: Which also, maybe you have to be a little bit

981
00:48:22,160 --> 00:48:25,560
Speaker 2: more direct with Jane about the fact that you don't

982
00:48:25,560 --> 00:48:26,680
Speaker 2: want to spend time with him.

983
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:28,279
Speaker 3: You just say, hey, I don't like you.

984
00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:33,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that kind of sucks, but is necessary. Yeah,

985
00:48:33,880 --> 00:48:36,520
Speaker 2: I think we gotta. I think we gotta go direct

986
00:48:36,560 --> 00:48:38,840
Speaker 2: to the source. Sorry, I don't like you and I

987
00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:39,920
Speaker 2: don't want to spend time with you.

988
00:48:40,480 --> 00:48:41,160
Speaker 3: That is tough.

989
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:44,640
Speaker 1: It is tough, yeah, hard.

990
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:47,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, But the thing is that I need to do

991
00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:50,279
Speaker 3: it to a lesser extent. It's not no, I'm not

992
00:48:50,280 --> 00:48:53,319
Speaker 3: going to tell you. I just know because I don't

993
00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:55,719
Speaker 3: want to go anywhere. I'm just saying, like, I don't like,

994
00:48:55,840 --> 00:48:57,120
Speaker 3: I just need to do it on like I don't

995
00:48:57,200 --> 00:48:59,759
Speaker 3: like I don't want to do solo hangouts. I'll tell

996
00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:03,680
Speaker 3: you that. But like it's hard to say, like, I

997
00:49:03,680 --> 00:49:05,239
Speaker 3: don't want to hang out with you one on one.

998
00:49:05,520 --> 00:49:06,560
Speaker 1: Try to read her like a book.

999
00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:10,000
Speaker 2: I I once told someone that they were a friend

1000
00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:10,640
Speaker 2: group friend.

1001
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:12,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the problem.

1002
00:49:12,280 --> 00:49:14,280
Speaker 2: And it went so terribly.

1003
00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:16,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think I could say that. I think

1004
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:17,919
Speaker 3: that is a really harsh thing to set.

1005
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:20,880
Speaker 2: It is it was too harsh. I think it was.

1006
00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:22,520
Speaker 3: I think it's a really hard thing to set.

1007
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:26,359
Speaker 2: And I made an enemy for a lifetime. It's that

1008
00:49:26,400 --> 00:49:29,279
Speaker 2: person does not like me at all.

1009
00:49:29,320 --> 00:49:31,960
Speaker 3: The problem is some people, when you like ask to

1010
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:34,920
Speaker 3: hang out like they show you. Like, I've had people

1011
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:36,399
Speaker 3: where I like try to hang out with them, they

1012
00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:38,480
Speaker 3: always cancel. They you know, never made time. So I

1013
00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:39,799
Speaker 3: was like, Okay, this person doesn't want to hang out

1014
00:49:39,800 --> 00:49:41,880
Speaker 3: with her. Yeah, but then there's some people who you

1015
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:44,919
Speaker 3: do that too, and they don't get the hint. Jane

1016
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:47,520
Speaker 3: is one of them. How do you set boundaries with

1017
00:49:47,560 --> 00:49:51,239
Speaker 3: the person who does not get hints? You know, it's

1018
00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:55,120
Speaker 3: like without being really mean, and that's a peace.

1019
00:49:54,920 --> 00:49:57,400
Speaker 2: Problem, right, you just say I can't. Yeah, Well that

1020
00:49:57,400 --> 00:50:00,400
Speaker 2: that one is like Helen's I think you don't. I

1021
00:50:00,440 --> 00:50:02,120
Speaker 2: think you don't have to set those kind of boundaries

1022
00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:06,200
Speaker 2: unless it's it's gotten to this kind of level. Yeah.

1023
00:50:06,280 --> 00:50:07,759
Speaker 2: If it's just like, oh do you have time to

1024
00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:10,680
Speaker 2: hang out or like I'm busy, you just keep doing

1025
00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:12,600
Speaker 2: that forever, you see, and then you invite them to

1026
00:50:12,600 --> 00:50:15,479
Speaker 2: friend group things. Yeah, and you just keep seeing you're busy.

1027
00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:20,839
Speaker 2: I could, yes, and like eventually maybe someday at one

1028
00:50:20,880 --> 00:50:22,879
Speaker 2: point catch a hint.

1029
00:50:23,239 --> 00:50:25,680
Speaker 3: Then I just yeah, can with them one on one? O.

1030
00:50:26,080 --> 00:50:28,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, you just don't have time, you don't, you don't, I.

1031
00:50:28,239 --> 00:50:28,759
Speaker 3: Don't have time.

1032
00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:30,480
Speaker 2: The thing is like it's other people want to hang

1033
00:50:30,520 --> 00:50:30,759
Speaker 2: out with.

1034
00:50:31,440 --> 00:50:34,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, I have very limited hours.

1035
00:50:34,680 --> 00:50:36,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're very popular. And I have a lot

1036
00:50:36,680 --> 00:50:39,200
Speaker 2: of friends, so many friends, so many friends.

1037
00:50:38,920 --> 00:50:41,400
Speaker 3: Too many friends, too many, too many hours.

1038
00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:44,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's only any and you gotta you gotta take

1039
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:48,759
Speaker 2: up the best spots like Ian Chris Top Top Top Tier,

1040
00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:50,319
Speaker 2: Top Top Top Tier Date.

1041
00:50:51,880 --> 00:50:54,120
Speaker 3: Last week, I got a call and my caller ID

1042
00:50:54,360 --> 00:50:58,200
Speaker 3: said private number. Oh, I've never seen that before, and

1043
00:50:58,239 --> 00:51:00,319
Speaker 3: I was curious because I just put a thing on

1044
00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:04,040
Speaker 3: my phone to block robocalls, So I answered it was

1045
00:51:04,160 --> 00:51:08,040
Speaker 3: Jane and her son. I hung up as soon as

1046
00:51:08,080 --> 00:51:10,919
Speaker 3: I recognized their voices. They called back, and her son

1047
00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:13,720
Speaker 3: left a voicemail saying he missed me and my daughter

1048
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:16,760
Speaker 3: and he wanted to see us soon. I was really

1049
00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:19,279
Speaker 3: upset that I had hurt their son's feelings. He's only

1050
00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:22,200
Speaker 3: three and he doesn't understand what's going on. You didn't

1051
00:51:22,280 --> 00:51:26,040
Speaker 3: hurt her son's feelings. He's three, He doesn't know what's

1052
00:51:26,080 --> 00:51:27,879
Speaker 3: going on. She hurt her.

1053
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:30,360
Speaker 2: Son's feelings, is barely conscious.

1054
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:34,319
Speaker 3: This is what happened. It's not that you know. He

1055
00:51:34,440 --> 00:51:38,120
Speaker 3: was like, mommy, why does ope? He never invite us

1056
00:51:38,160 --> 00:51:40,960
Speaker 3: to things. I'm upset about this. Jane went to her

1057
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:44,839
Speaker 3: son and said, your your aunt, never your cousin, never

1058
00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:46,719
Speaker 3: invites you to anything. She hates you.

1059
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:49,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, she thinks you're the last. Has no idea.

1060
00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:52,840
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yesterday, I was having a panic attack in my

1061
00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:57,239
Speaker 3: car and then a very familiar car pulled into my driveway.

1062
00:51:57,800 --> 00:52:01,600
Speaker 3: It was Jane and Bill started the car and drove away.

1063
00:52:01,880 --> 00:52:03,839
Speaker 3: My husband was home with my daughter and he let

1064
00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:08,680
Speaker 3: them inside. Why why. My husband was asked what was

1065
00:52:08,719 --> 00:52:10,520
Speaker 3: wrong with me, and he told them I was just

1066
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:12,719
Speaker 3: having a moment. When I asked my husband why he

1067
00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:14,680
Speaker 3: didn't just say I was running an errand he just

1068
00:52:14,719 --> 00:52:16,560
Speaker 3: told me he wasn't lying to cover for me.

1069
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:19,279
Speaker 2: Okay, red Flag, husband, you My.

1070
00:52:19,320 --> 00:52:21,640
Speaker 3: Husband said they were on their best behavior, but I

1071
00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:23,680
Speaker 3: am pissed that they once again showed up at the

1072
00:52:23,680 --> 00:52:26,799
Speaker 3: house unannounced. My husband said, Bill said they would leave

1073
00:52:26,840 --> 00:52:27,759
Speaker 3: if it was a bad time.

1074
00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:30,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is a bad time.

1075
00:52:30,239 --> 00:52:31,960
Speaker 3: You didn't you shot up unannounced.

1076
00:52:32,200 --> 00:52:34,239
Speaker 2: It's always a bad time when you're here.

1077
00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:36,800
Speaker 3: We don't want you here. I was having a major

1078
00:52:36,840 --> 00:52:39,080
Speaker 3: panic attack and I had a mental breakdown. But my

1079
00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:44,560
Speaker 3: husband told me I'm overreacting. Red Flag. He's upset with them,

1080
00:52:44,560 --> 00:52:47,160
Speaker 3: but he's more willing to forgive. I made it clear

1081
00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:48,960
Speaker 3: to my husband that I don't want Jane and Bill

1082
00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:52,400
Speaker 3: to continue to show up without warning. I asked my

1083
00:52:52,480 --> 00:52:54,960
Speaker 3: husband to tell them not to show up without warning again.

1084
00:52:55,680 --> 00:52:57,840
Speaker 3: My husband told me that he doesn't want Jane and

1085
00:52:57,960 --> 00:53:00,880
Speaker 3: Bill back in our lives like they were before, but

1086
00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:03,160
Speaker 3: he's okay with visiting with them as long as it's

1087
00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:06,000
Speaker 3: on our terms. They don't care about your terms.

1088
00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:10,160
Speaker 2: They're going to show them they've mowed straight over any

1089
00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:11,680
Speaker 2: terms you've tried to create.

1090
00:53:12,200 --> 00:53:15,000
Speaker 3: He's hopeful that Jane and Bill learned their lesson. In

1091
00:53:15,560 --> 00:53:18,200
Speaker 3: what way would they have possibly learned their lesson?

1092
00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:22,680
Speaker 2: You let them inside, They've gotten what they've wanted.

1093
00:53:22,719 --> 00:53:23,799
Speaker 1: They're like vampires.

1094
00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:27,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, you've already let them in. You invited them inside.

1095
00:53:28,480 --> 00:53:30,879
Speaker 3: I'm not so hopeful. On the other hand, I don't

1096
00:53:30,880 --> 00:53:33,760
Speaker 3: know if I'm wrong and feeling slightly betrayed by my husband.

1097
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:36,160
Speaker 3: I think you're right. He and Bill are really close,

1098
00:53:36,200 --> 00:53:39,040
Speaker 3: and Jane won't let Bill visit with anyone unless she's there.

1099
00:53:39,400 --> 00:53:42,120
Speaker 3: I'm afraid my husband will want me to reconcile, but

1100
00:53:42,160 --> 00:53:45,040
Speaker 3: I don't want to go through another cycle of Jane

1101
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:48,040
Speaker 3: mistreating me and then gaslighting me when I get upset.

1102
00:53:48,280 --> 00:53:49,600
Speaker 3: There is a second update.

1103
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:53,000
Speaker 2: Oh my god, exhausting. Bill and Jane are Jane are

1104
00:53:53,040 --> 00:53:56,960
Speaker 2: the worst. They're like little cockerroaches, like social cockroaches that

1105
00:53:57,120 --> 00:53:59,000
Speaker 2: just keep popping up and popping up.

1106
00:53:59,200 --> 00:54:02,200
Speaker 3: Uh huh, Kimily and says to them, those times just

1107
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:05,399
Speaker 3: look like really round holes they're going to shove their

1108
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:11,400
Speaker 3: square pegs into anyway. Yes, yeah, that's true. Nina Nielsen,

1109
00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:14,120
Speaker 3: I would seriously consider divorce because husband doesn't care about

1110
00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:16,600
Speaker 3: a piece well being on our terms. You let them

1111
00:54:16,680 --> 00:54:19,440
Speaker 3: and she had to leave her own driveway. I don't

1112
00:54:19,480 --> 00:54:21,680
Speaker 3: know if we're in divorce territory yet, but I do

1113
00:54:21,760 --> 00:54:23,359
Speaker 3: think we're in like therapy terria.

1114
00:54:23,480 --> 00:54:26,239
Speaker 2: It is a red flag. It's a huge indicative of

1115
00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:28,680
Speaker 2: larger things in the relationship than I think. It's probably

1116
00:54:28,719 --> 00:54:29,280
Speaker 2: a bad idea.

1117
00:54:29,440 --> 00:54:33,160
Speaker 3: I agree, yes, because he's totally not listening to you

1118
00:54:33,239 --> 00:54:36,480
Speaker 3: and he literally told you that you're overreacting, yeah when

1119
00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:39,240
Speaker 3: you had a panic attack. But there is an update.

1120
00:54:40,239 --> 00:54:44,680
Speaker 3: This update. My in law sixty six female and forty

1121
00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:48,600
Speaker 3: three female are pressuring me twenty nine female to reconcile

1122
00:54:48,680 --> 00:54:51,600
Speaker 3: with another family member. Twenty three female, twenty six male

1123
00:54:51,760 --> 00:54:54,279
Speaker 3: that has treated me horribly in the past. I feel

1124
00:54:54,320 --> 00:54:57,279
Speaker 3: like I'm tearing the family apart. So I posted about

1125
00:54:57,280 --> 00:55:00,319
Speaker 3: these people that I've treated me horribly. God name Bill

1126
00:55:00,360 --> 00:55:02,600
Speaker 3: and Jane. If you want the whole story, you can

1127
00:55:02,600 --> 00:55:05,760
Speaker 3: see the other post. The TLDR is that they don't

1128
00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:09,800
Speaker 3: respect my boundaries, try to convince my husband I was crazy,

1129
00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:12,000
Speaker 3: and worst of all, they tried to ruin my child's

1130
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:14,480
Speaker 3: birthday by calling her names and trying to set off

1131
00:55:14,520 --> 00:55:17,360
Speaker 3: my PTSD. I cut all contact, but they have randomly

1132
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:19,880
Speaker 3: shown up my house sometimes with the stuff for my daughter,

1133
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:21,959
Speaker 3: and they have called my phone from a private number

1134
00:55:21,960 --> 00:55:25,480
Speaker 3: after I blocked them. So Canadian Thanksgiving was last weekend.

1135
00:55:25,719 --> 00:55:27,759
Speaker 3: I am really close to my grandma in law. She

1136
00:55:27,880 --> 00:55:29,880
Speaker 3: was going to host a Thanksgiving dinner at her house.

1137
00:55:29,960 --> 00:55:32,600
Speaker 3: We talked about it for weeks and I was excited

1138
00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:36,120
Speaker 3: to go. A week before, grandma in law texted me, Hey,

1139
00:55:37,800 --> 00:55:41,600
Speaker 3: Bill found out about Thanksgiving and since you can't get along,

1140
00:55:41,760 --> 00:55:43,760
Speaker 3: you should probably not come.

1141
00:55:44,320 --> 00:55:46,760
Speaker 2: What I can't Bill not to come?

1142
00:55:47,920 --> 00:55:55,719
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, no, no way. Who you invited? First, it's

1143
00:55:55,760 --> 00:55:57,640
Speaker 3: not whoever was invited not invited.

1144
00:55:57,760 --> 00:55:59,040
Speaker 2: Second, I don't like this.

1145
00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:02,440
Speaker 3: So before Thanksgiving, my husband got a message like I

1146
00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:04,400
Speaker 3: wish you guys could just put all this behind you

1147
00:56:04,480 --> 00:56:06,600
Speaker 3: so you could come. My husband had worked that day

1148
00:56:06,640 --> 00:56:08,600
Speaker 3: and I stayed home. The day after, my husband was

1149
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:10,759
Speaker 3: basically told by his grandma that we should come over

1150
00:56:10,760 --> 00:56:13,200
Speaker 3: and visit. This visit was going well until grandma in

1151
00:56:13,280 --> 00:56:16,200
Speaker 3: law and my husband's aunt started guilt tripping us about

1152
00:56:16,239 --> 00:56:19,320
Speaker 3: not coming to Thanksgiving. They said it was sad because

1153
00:56:19,360 --> 00:56:21,400
Speaker 3: my husband and Bill were so close in the past,

1154
00:56:21,600 --> 00:56:24,400
Speaker 3: and it was heavily implied that I was keeping them apart.

1155
00:56:24,680 --> 00:56:26,960
Speaker 3: At one point, grandmother in law said to me, I

1156
00:56:27,080 --> 00:56:29,600
Speaker 3: really don't understand why you can't just suck it up.

1157
00:56:29,719 --> 00:56:31,840
Speaker 3: But then she corrected herself and said something like, I

1158
00:56:31,960 --> 00:56:34,080
Speaker 3: understand you don't want to be treated horribly, and I

1159
00:56:34,120 --> 00:56:35,520
Speaker 3: just wished the family could get along.

1160
00:56:35,719 --> 00:56:38,960
Speaker 2: Do you, I mean, do you understand you just said it.

1161
00:56:39,239 --> 00:56:41,040
Speaker 3: You just said I understand why you don't want to

1162
00:56:41,040 --> 00:56:41,800
Speaker 3: be treated horribly.

1163
00:56:42,160 --> 00:56:43,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, But what it sounds like is like, oh, I

1164
00:56:44,040 --> 00:56:45,759
Speaker 2: understand you broke your leg, but I still want you

1165
00:56:45,840 --> 00:56:48,440
Speaker 2: to run the marathon. It's like it's like that you

1166
00:56:48,480 --> 00:56:50,319
Speaker 2: don't understand that I broke my leg.

1167
00:56:50,360 --> 00:56:53,400
Speaker 3: You don't want to stand what that details. Yeah, I

1168
00:56:53,520 --> 00:56:56,800
Speaker 3: ended up excusing myself to go to the bathroom to cry.

1169
00:56:57,040 --> 00:57:01,120
Speaker 3: Grandmother in law is aware of all the negative behavior

1170
00:57:01,120 --> 00:57:03,279
Speaker 3: that has been going on. I've always been close to

1171
00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:05,920
Speaker 3: her and I feel kind of hurt by what she said. Rightfully,

1172
00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:08,799
Speaker 3: so since my last post, they have shown up at

1173
00:57:08,800 --> 00:57:10,959
Speaker 3: our house again when we were not home to drop

1174
00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:13,399
Speaker 3: off a coloring book for my child. I drove past

1175
00:57:13,480 --> 00:57:15,719
Speaker 3: Jane one time and when she saw me, she gave

1176
00:57:15,760 --> 00:57:18,920
Speaker 3: me the middle finger. Bill and Jane also followed me

1177
00:57:18,960 --> 00:57:21,840
Speaker 3: into a local event and tried to sit next to

1178
00:57:21,880 --> 00:57:24,320
Speaker 3: me and tried getting my child's attention, but I got

1179
00:57:24,400 --> 00:57:26,640
Speaker 3: up and moved away from them. They had a stroller,

1180
00:57:26,760 --> 00:57:29,040
Speaker 3: so I just sat somewhere that was not accessible to them.

1181
00:57:29,080 --> 00:57:33,600
Speaker 2: Bill and Jane are the most stockers. They're freaking stocking.

1182
00:57:33,760 --> 00:57:36,360
Speaker 3: I also feel guilty for not really explaining to Bill

1183
00:57:36,400 --> 00:57:39,040
Speaker 3: and Jane why I cut contact. They always start an

1184
00:57:39,120 --> 00:57:41,960
Speaker 3: argument every time I decide to stand up for myself.

1185
00:57:42,080 --> 00:57:44,960
Speaker 3: I feel like this is going to affect my relationship

1186
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:47,520
Speaker 3: with grandmother in law in the future as well. I've

1187
00:57:47,520 --> 00:57:49,640
Speaker 3: done my best to explain to grandmother in law why

1188
00:57:49,680 --> 00:57:51,680
Speaker 3: I can't be around Bill and Jane. I don't know

1189
00:57:51,720 --> 00:57:53,880
Speaker 3: what to do moving forward. I want to be able

1190
00:57:53,880 --> 00:57:56,360
Speaker 3: to spend time with grandmother in law without being guilt

1191
00:57:56,360 --> 00:57:58,680
Speaker 3: tripped about it by Bill and Jane. I also, I am

1192
00:57:58,680 --> 00:58:01,400
Speaker 3: afraid that Bill and Jane will eventually turn the whole

1193
00:58:01,440 --> 00:58:04,120
Speaker 3: family against me. And there is a third and final

1194
00:58:04,200 --> 00:58:07,120
Speaker 3: update home. I think they've already succeeded in turning the

1195
00:58:07,120 --> 00:58:07,880
Speaker 3: family against you.

1196
00:58:08,480 --> 00:58:10,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean your grandmother, who.

1197
00:58:10,480 --> 00:58:12,000
Speaker 3: You said you were the closest to, is already on

1198
00:58:12,040 --> 00:58:12,360
Speaker 3: their side.

1199
00:58:12,400 --> 00:58:14,920
Speaker 2: Well, I think it's more like here, this is this

1200
00:58:14,960 --> 00:58:18,960
Speaker 2: is my theory. My theory is the entire family realizes

1201
00:58:19,040 --> 00:58:23,200
Speaker 2: how crazy Bill and Jane are. Yeah, and op is

1202
00:58:23,240 --> 00:58:26,080
Speaker 2: a little bit more rational, and so having the more

1203
00:58:26,160 --> 00:58:31,400
Speaker 2: rational person make allowances for the crazy people might create

1204
00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:35,280
Speaker 2: more smoothness in the family dynamic. So it's like, I'm

1205
00:58:35,280 --> 00:58:38,680
Speaker 2: going to ask the person who can change the behavior

1206
00:58:38,960 --> 00:58:41,200
Speaker 2: to rather than the person who's crazy and can't change

1207
00:58:41,200 --> 00:58:42,360
Speaker 2: the Behaviavior.

1208
00:58:41,920 --> 00:58:43,880
Speaker 3: Sure, I think, yeah, I think that's what I think.

1209
00:58:43,880 --> 00:58:46,320
Speaker 3: That's what the grandmother's saying, just deal with it.

1210
00:58:46,360 --> 00:58:48,400
Speaker 2: But it's like, but you're not the one who has

1211
00:58:48,400 --> 00:58:51,160
Speaker 2: to deal with it. How to protect me from this craziness?

1212
00:58:51,600 --> 00:58:56,760
Speaker 2: H Donna Granger says, restraining order is on the way.

1213
00:58:57,400 --> 00:59:00,960
Speaker 2: We're getting some fast food. We're going some Amazon Prime

1214
00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:05,320
Speaker 2: delivery Tokey says divorce the whole family. We're nearing that.

1215
00:59:05,440 --> 00:59:06,400
Speaker 2: We're nearing that point.

1216
00:59:06,640 --> 00:59:07,320
Speaker 3: Update three.

1217
00:59:07,640 --> 00:59:09,080
Speaker 2: Update three, hit me with it.

1218
00:59:09,440 --> 00:59:11,160
Speaker 3: I'd like to think that me and my husband have

1219
00:59:11,240 --> 00:59:12,400
Speaker 3: a cheap victory here.

1220
00:59:12,760 --> 00:59:15,720
Speaker 2: Okay, let's go hopefully good update.

1221
00:59:15,840 --> 00:59:18,680
Speaker 3: Let's see Bill and Jane have left me the heck alone,

1222
00:59:18,760 --> 00:59:21,040
Speaker 3: and Jane is ignoring my husband whenever she sees them

1223
00:59:21,080 --> 00:59:22,960
Speaker 3: in public. A win is a win, But you know

1224
00:59:23,120 --> 00:59:23,919
Speaker 3: what else is a win?

1225
00:59:24,080 --> 00:59:26,440
Speaker 2: What's a win? Fia fia automatic pia.

1226
00:59:26,520 --> 00:59:29,400
Speaker 3: Listening to full episodes of stories just like this. Just

1227
00:59:29,400 --> 00:59:32,919
Speaker 3: go to Spotify, Apple Podcast or iHeartRadio and search up. Okay,

1228
00:59:32,960 --> 00:59:34,040
Speaker 3: story time, that's a win.

1229
00:59:34,120 --> 00:59:37,000
Speaker 2: And five I've ever heard of it, darn tootin vlad Putin.

1230
00:59:37,160 --> 00:59:39,240
Speaker 3: But there is a little bit left to the story,

1231
00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:42,280
Speaker 3: and I think we've already discussed, so let's finisher off.

1232
00:59:42,320 --> 00:59:45,200
Speaker 3: Bill will talk to my husband and have friendly conversations

1233
00:59:45,240 --> 00:59:47,640
Speaker 3: with him. The last time I saw Jane, we were

1234
00:59:47,640 --> 00:59:49,760
Speaker 3: both driving and she gave me the middle fingers. So

1235
00:59:49,840 --> 00:59:51,800
Speaker 3: I'd like to think they hate us. Now and we'll

1236
00:59:51,800 --> 00:59:54,720
Speaker 3: hopefully leave us the heck alone. They're silked crap talking

1237
00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:57,120
Speaker 3: us to other family members, but it's like everyone in

1238
00:59:57,120 --> 01:00:01,080
Speaker 3: the whole family understands why we cut contact with them.

1239
01:00:01,360 --> 01:00:05,480
Speaker 3: Jane is now telling people that she was emotionally mistreated

1240
01:00:05,520 --> 01:00:07,480
Speaker 3: by me, and that I am an unfit mother and

1241
01:00:07,520 --> 01:00:11,120
Speaker 3: I am ruining my child's development. I'm just so happy

1242
01:00:11,160 --> 01:00:13,760
Speaker 3: the phone calls have stopped and they have stopped showing

1243
01:00:13,840 --> 01:00:16,960
Speaker 3: up at my house. And that's the end of that story,

1244
01:00:17,320 --> 01:00:17,840
Speaker 3: all right.

1245
01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:19,840
Speaker 2: Well, it seems like it was somewhat resolved.

1246
01:00:20,200 --> 01:00:20,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess so.

1247
01:00:21,400 --> 01:00:22,440
Speaker 2: Well that's you know.

1248
01:00:22,480 --> 01:00:23,960
Speaker 3: I'll take it, man, I'll take.

1249
01:00:23,840 --> 01:00:25,000
Speaker 2: It for how long?

1250
01:00:25,400 --> 01:00:26,080
Speaker 3: Who's to say?

1251
01:00:26,160 --> 01:00:30,400
Speaker 2: Who's to say? But I think that's where that episode ends. Yes,

1252
01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:33,640
Speaker 2: So if you love us, make sure to subscribe We

1253
01:00:33,720 --> 01:00:36,000
Speaker 2: Love You and see it tomorrow.