WEBVTT - Pull Up for Peace Conference- Part 3 Guest: Hakim Green from Channel Live 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:00.840 I'm Tamika D. 0:00:00.960 --> 0:00:03.400 Mallory and it's your boy, my son in general, we 0:00:03.520 --> 0:00:05.960 are your host of t M I Tamika and my 0:00:06.120 --> 0:00:10.240 Son's Information, Truth, Motivation and Inspiration. 0:00:09.800 --> 0:00:13.160 New Name, New Energy. 0:00:14.760 --> 0:00:16.320 What's going on, Tamika D. Mallory. 0:00:16.400 --> 0:00:20.400 Life is happening life, It's life in yes, cut, I'm 0:00:20.680 --> 0:00:23.200 in a real good period in my life. I was 0:00:23.239 --> 0:00:25.520 having such a good time these last few days, even 0:00:25.600 --> 0:00:29.000 though I don't know, like it's a lot of problems 0:00:29.040 --> 0:00:31.120 going on. But if you, you know, if you got 0:00:31.160 --> 0:00:34.200 good friends and good people around you, you still can 0:00:35.080 --> 0:00:40.720 figure out how to create like these slither moments, real 0:00:41.680 --> 0:00:43.840 small moments of peace and joy. 0:00:44.440 --> 0:00:48.320 I'm dealing with teenagers, you know, so that's male. Teenagers 0:00:48.320 --> 0:00:50.040 are very strange thing. 0:00:50.880 --> 0:00:51.080 You know. 0:00:51.120 --> 0:00:55.320 It's thirteen thirty girls, you know, thirteen fourteen year old. 0:00:56.040 --> 0:00:58.880 They have this mindset. So I got my son who's 0:00:59.000 --> 0:01:02.160 about to be fourteen, and then my nephew is about 0:01:02.160 --> 0:01:06.000 to be thirteen. And then my other two's my other 0:01:06.120 --> 0:01:11.920 son who's eleven, and my other nephew that is I 0:01:11.920 --> 0:01:15.240 think nine or ten. So all of these boys, and 0:01:15.280 --> 0:01:18.640 it's just dealing with all of these energies and it's 0:01:18.680 --> 0:01:21.160 just a lot. But you know, I'm loving it because 0:01:21.200 --> 0:01:23.880 you know, you just gotta I love molding young men. 0:01:24.120 --> 0:01:28.200 I love watching young boys grow into young men. You know, 0:01:28.360 --> 0:01:29.920 a lot of times they hard headed, but then they 0:01:29.959 --> 0:01:33.000 get very attentive and they pay attention to things that 0:01:33.080 --> 0:01:35.559 you don't think they're paying attention to. So just watching 0:01:35.600 --> 0:01:39.000 it's crazy that all for of these boys is at 0:01:39.040 --> 0:01:41.840 like different stages. And they're like one between one and 0:01:41.920 --> 0:01:44.720 two years apart, so they're at different stages and you 0:01:44.760 --> 0:01:46.760 just see the different stages in each of them. 0:01:47.280 --> 0:01:49.000 So it's a thing watching that. 0:01:49.320 --> 0:01:53.080 So that's been pretty much with Yeah, that's pretty much 0:01:53.120 --> 0:01:54.240 what I've been dealing with for this. 0:01:54.640 --> 0:01:59.840 Nothing better than cousins though, Like cousins are the best 0:02:00.160 --> 0:02:02.200 because even your siblings fight. 0:02:02.320 --> 0:02:04.120 You don't always agree, you know, but they. 0:02:04.200 --> 0:02:06.720 All fight though, But like what happens. 0:02:06.880 --> 0:02:11.840 What happens is that the cousins fight against the kids, 0:02:11.880 --> 0:02:14.760 like the brothers, Like the cousins will join forces against 0:02:14.800 --> 0:02:17.120 the little brothers, like the big cousins George forced against 0:02:17.120 --> 0:02:20.160 the little brothers, and they all start picking on the 0:02:20.200 --> 0:02:21.960 little ones and then you gotta fight and then they 0:02:22.200 --> 0:02:24.680 join together and just it's just be too much. 0:02:25.000 --> 0:02:25.960 It's a lot going on. 0:02:26.040 --> 0:02:31.359 It's politics. Everything is political. Everything even kids hanging out 0:02:31.440 --> 0:02:34.360 its political. But it's still like I just think about 0:02:34.440 --> 0:02:37.840 during the summertime, getting to go to my cousin's house 0:02:37.919 --> 0:02:39.520 in the stadium and go. 0:02:39.680 --> 0:02:41.440 You know, I didn't care, and they would treat me 0:02:41.800 --> 0:02:42.480 so bad. 0:02:42.600 --> 0:02:46.200 Sometimes some of my cousins would treat me so bad 0:02:46.320 --> 0:02:47.480 and guess what, you know. 0:02:47.520 --> 0:02:48.880 And I was also talkative. 0:02:48.960 --> 0:02:51.480 I thought I was smart, I knew everything, so they 0:02:51.480 --> 0:02:52.639 would treat me pretty bad. 0:02:52.680 --> 0:02:55.560 But I still wanted to go. I don't care. I 0:02:55.639 --> 0:02:57.040 still wanted to be under them. 0:02:57.200 --> 0:02:59.840 They want you to be quiet, I want you to stop. 0:03:00.120 --> 0:03:02.120 More than that, it was more than that. It was 0:03:02.160 --> 0:03:03.720 more than that kids be just mean. 0:03:03.919 --> 0:03:07.600 Your kids are definits these kids say to each other. 0:03:07.600 --> 0:03:10.200 It's just like yeah, but you. 0:03:10.120 --> 0:03:12.400 Know, I'm still Probably maybe I was a mean cousin 0:03:12.440 --> 0:03:14.760 to it, so maybe it wasn't. I don't know, though 0:03:14.800 --> 0:03:18.160 I don't think I was really mean to my younger cousins. 0:03:18.280 --> 0:03:18.920 I don't think I was. 0:03:19.160 --> 0:03:20.360 We still got in a mischief. 0:03:20.639 --> 0:03:22.280 It was a couple of my cousins that was really 0:03:22.320 --> 0:03:25.359 mean to me, and like I always kept getting back, 0:03:25.520 --> 0:03:26.800 Like I used to tell them I don't want to 0:03:26.800 --> 0:03:29.200 go there ever. Again, some of them I wanted to 0:03:29.200 --> 0:03:31.320 hang around. Like it was a couple of my cousins 0:03:31.360 --> 0:03:33.720 that was real cool, that we always had good times, 0:03:33.720 --> 0:03:36.440 but it was a couple of them, I don't want 0:03:36.600 --> 0:03:39.400 nothing to do. And this girl it was girls too. 0:03:39.520 --> 0:03:42.640 The girls cousins was way meaner than my boy cousins 0:03:42.760 --> 0:03:45.880 was to me. So I had an issue with that, 0:03:46.000 --> 0:03:48.000 but I grew out of it and we're kind of cool. 0:03:47.800 --> 0:03:50.360 Now, Okay, cool, now, yeah, that's good. 0:03:51.040 --> 0:03:54.040 So we are still doing our pull Up for p series. 0:03:54.120 --> 0:03:58.360 You know, last week we had Lakeisha Yuri and our 0:03:58.400 --> 0:04:03.360 brother at Mitchell Man in their interview cre At in 0:04:03.440 --> 0:04:06.480 his campaign and we talked about their book and the 0:04:06.520 --> 0:04:08.840 work that they do and it was a very dope interview. 0:04:09.200 --> 0:04:11.480 So if you didn't see it, go back and watch that. 0:04:12.240 --> 0:04:15.080 And today we got another person who was at the 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:17.920 Pull Up for Peace conference who is a hip hop 0:04:18.400 --> 0:04:20.040 legend historian. 0:04:20.520 --> 0:04:21.600 He's an educator. 0:04:21.839 --> 0:04:25.680 You know, he is definitely one of the premier people 0:04:25.720 --> 0:04:29.080 when you talk about what's going on in New York. 0:04:29.279 --> 0:04:32.120 You know, he's one of the founders of twenty four 0:04:32.120 --> 0:04:35.280 hours of Piece, you know, and he's a friend of ours, 0:04:35.440 --> 0:04:39.200 you know, Hakeem Green from Channel Live, the legendary group 0:04:39.279 --> 0:04:42.239 Channel Live. So that will be the interview that features today, 0:04:42.560 --> 0:04:44.360 the interview that I have because you weren't there. 0:04:44.440 --> 0:04:47.000 You was going handling something else, so I said. 0:04:46.920 --> 0:04:48.920 I listened to a lot of it though I was there. 0:04:48.960 --> 0:04:49.719 In and out. 0:04:49.960 --> 0:04:51.360 Okay, well I sat down. 0:04:51.480 --> 0:04:52.440 It was a great interview. 0:04:53.120 --> 0:04:55.559 I mean, all the content from Pull Up for Peace 0:04:55.640 --> 0:05:02.880 has been powerful, and I'm so thankful to Jamilla, doctor Jimillar, T. Davis, 0:05:02.880 --> 0:05:05.840 and to our team Janis Rodriguez and others that we 0:05:05.839 --> 0:05:08.560 were able to do that. Because there's one thing to 0:05:08.600 --> 0:05:11.560 bring people into the studio or to you know, do 0:05:11.640 --> 0:05:14.120 a zoom interview, but it's something else to be able 0:05:14.120 --> 0:05:16.559 to pull people right in the midst of them doing 0:05:16.600 --> 0:05:19.240 their work when they're feeling inspired or maybe even feeling 0:05:19.320 --> 0:05:23.039 upset or whatever they're experiencing, to be able to share 0:05:23.080 --> 0:05:25.520 with them in the moment, and Pull Up for Peace 0:05:25.600 --> 0:05:30.159 with such a sacred space where people anybody who was 0:05:30.200 --> 0:05:34.120 there it should have been. You can't always say what 0:05:34.360 --> 0:05:37.200 everybody is going to do, because that's not a thing. 0:05:37.400 --> 0:05:41.880 Everybody doesn't do any one thing at any particular time. 0:05:42.480 --> 0:05:45.320 But the majority of the people who showed up for 0:05:45.400 --> 0:05:48.880 pull Up for Peace were there for a progressive reason, 0:05:49.080 --> 0:05:53.440 for a positive engagement with other people who are putting 0:05:53.440 --> 0:05:55.919 their lives on the line to address the needs of 0:05:55.960 --> 0:05:58.839 our community. And I think, you know, being able to 0:05:59.000 --> 0:06:02.640 give space to something like that, it's powerful that. Until 0:06:02.640 --> 0:06:05.000 Freedom was a part of it, we had a beautiful 0:06:05.080 --> 0:06:05.920 white party that. 0:06:06.000 --> 0:06:08.360 Was amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing. 0:06:08.440 --> 0:06:11.719 And Haiken was there at the white party with us, so, 0:06:11.839 --> 0:06:14.920 you know, and and what people say, what is a party? Yeah, 0:06:15.000 --> 0:06:18.400 the conference was long. The conference had many pieces. Until 0:06:18.400 --> 0:06:22.159 Freedom had panels, we were involved in multiple discussions. You know, 0:06:22.279 --> 0:06:25.200 we helped with with the curating some of the ideas 0:06:25.240 --> 0:06:29.359 around that. But our people deserve enjoyment also, that's. 0:06:29.279 --> 0:06:30.640 I mean, that's what the conference is. 0:06:30.680 --> 0:06:32.760 If you look at most of the conference I'm going to, 0:06:32.920 --> 0:06:38.880 there is a plethora of information, education, building next steps. 0:06:38.920 --> 0:06:41.719 And during the nighttime there's parties, there's things to unwind. 0:06:41.760 --> 0:06:44.239 You don't want to nobody wants to feel all stuffy 0:06:44.279 --> 0:06:45.040 all the time, you. 0:06:45.000 --> 0:06:45.599 Know, stuffy. 0:06:45.839 --> 0:06:48.159 Yeah, we had Janis came to some of the parties. 0:06:48.200 --> 0:06:50.080 She was outside with us. She had a little white 0:06:50.120 --> 0:06:50.840 outfit or. 0:06:51.839 --> 0:06:55.479 A right she just happened to have white pack because 0:06:55.520 --> 0:06:58.719 be sure didn't take the time to explain all of 0:06:58.760 --> 0:07:01.600 the They were just like meet us in Atlantic City, We. 0:07:01.640 --> 0:07:03.039 Got you a peace. 0:07:04.279 --> 0:07:06.680 But it was actually a really good conference, and I 0:07:07.040 --> 0:07:10.640 think the content is so strong. I can't wait to 0:07:10.680 --> 0:07:14.680 see the documentary or the little docuseries, not little, the 0:07:14.720 --> 0:07:17.480 docuseries that comes out from the conference. 0:07:17.520 --> 0:07:18.800 So I'm looking forward to that. 0:07:18.960 --> 0:07:19.840 Yeah, that's good. 0:07:19.880 --> 0:07:22.920 So that's gonna be our interview for today, Hakeem Green. 0:07:23.520 --> 0:07:27.560 But before that, we got to get into some topics. 0:07:27.640 --> 0:07:31.320 So much stuff happening. Oh my mama, you could just 0:07:32.560 --> 0:07:35.320 take a piece some straws and pick one and say 0:07:35.400 --> 0:07:37.520 what you want to deal with today, because there's so 0:07:37.640 --> 0:07:39.960 much that's happening. And I think, you know, we've been 0:07:40.040 --> 0:07:43.000 saying a big part of what's going on in this 0:07:43.280 --> 0:07:46.200 nation is to keep people distracted by having everybody spending 0:07:46.200 --> 0:07:48.120 in a cycle that every day is something different. 0:07:48.360 --> 0:07:50.000 You know, you're fighting on every end. 0:07:50.440 --> 0:07:53.560 And we also have things we're dealing with just in 0:07:53.560 --> 0:07:54.520 our local cities. 0:07:54.560 --> 0:07:56.800 And I hope that folks. 0:07:56.520 --> 0:08:01.040 Around the country are paying attention to their local politics 0:08:01.200 --> 0:08:05.400 while this national stuff is happening because the Big nasty, 0:08:05.560 --> 0:08:11.520 disgusting Billionaire Bill, the BBL, could not have passed without 0:08:11.720 --> 0:08:15.560 local politicians voting for it. So you could sit and 0:08:15.600 --> 0:08:20.040 say Trump because Trump has a mindset that is the 0:08:20.200 --> 0:08:24.320 is the the spirit behind some of this cruel and 0:08:24.480 --> 0:08:29.520 disgusting behavior. Nonetheless, people can stop it if they want to. 0:08:29.920 --> 0:08:34.080 And so your local politics matter because the local elected 0:08:34.080 --> 0:08:38.000 officials are the ones who made the bill pass. So 0:08:38.160 --> 0:08:43.040 they are the ones who helped Trump to sign into 0:08:43.160 --> 0:08:49.280 law some of the most regressive policies and decisions from 0:08:49.360 --> 0:08:54.200 our government ever in terms of going backwards, right, like 0:08:54.440 --> 0:08:58.320 you've never gone back this far, but it certainly is 0:08:58.440 --> 0:09:01.600 taking us to a place where we start. They're trying 0:09:01.640 --> 0:09:04.560 to get back to that. Please, so we you know 0:09:04.600 --> 0:09:07.720 the local politics. We can't express to you all enough 0:09:08.320 --> 0:09:13.080 how important it is for you to be monitoring finding out. 0:09:13.040 --> 0:09:16.200 Who voted for the bill. What are you know. 0:09:16.120 --> 0:09:21.080 Which congressional members, which senators supported this bill and not 0:09:21.200 --> 0:09:24.200 waiting because they say that the impact of it, the 0:09:24.280 --> 0:09:29.040 effects of the disgusting what is being called by the 0:09:29.080 --> 0:09:31.960 Trump administration the Big Beautiful Bill, But we are saying 0:09:32.000 --> 0:09:35.360 the BBL, which is the Big Billionaires Bill, because it 0:09:35.400 --> 0:09:38.360 is absolutely designed to put more money in the pockets 0:09:38.360 --> 0:09:41.160 of billionaires and left and to rob you. 0:09:41.840 --> 0:09:43.640 In order to do it, you. 0:09:43.720 --> 0:09:46.720 Have to be paying attention to your local politics, paying 0:09:46.760 --> 0:09:49.240 attention to what's happening in your community, find out who 0:09:49.320 --> 0:09:51.960 voted for it, when are they up for reelection, and 0:09:52.040 --> 0:09:54.480 how do you join those who will fight to keep 0:09:54.520 --> 0:09:56.560 them from being re elected. 0:09:56.320 --> 0:09:57.760 To your local communities. 0:09:58.280 --> 0:10:00.600 So let's talk about my the end of the day, 0:10:00.600 --> 0:10:03.440 which is off topic completely, but it is something that 0:10:03.559 --> 0:10:06.440 is so real to me, and I know you experience it. 0:10:06.520 --> 0:10:09.000 I talked to Jannis about it all the time. For 0:10:09.080 --> 0:10:11.840 those who may be like Jannis jen Yes, don't you 0:10:11.880 --> 0:10:17.199 ever forget. Janis has been the producer for our show 0:10:17.440 --> 0:10:19.880 for I don't know how many It's been years and 0:10:19.960 --> 0:10:21.640 years and years now. So you might not see you 0:10:21.720 --> 0:10:24.600 on camera one day. We'll get over here, interviewer, but 0:10:25.360 --> 0:10:27.960 we talk about it. And I have many friends who 0:10:27.960 --> 0:10:32.680 are now entering the age of and the stage of 0:10:33.320 --> 0:10:39.040 being the parent to the young adults. Right, so we 0:10:39.080 --> 0:10:42.360 are now the parents of the young adults. You talked 0:10:42.400 --> 0:10:46.760 about teenagers. Teenagers, As far as I'm concerned, little babies 0:10:46.840 --> 0:10:50.680 are easiest, even though people think little babies is so 0:10:50.760 --> 0:10:53.600 hard because it's so much work. They're easiest to deal 0:10:53.640 --> 0:10:55.120 with teenagers. 0:10:55.600 --> 0:10:56.120 They get it. 0:10:56.120 --> 0:10:59.360 It's a little harder, but still, but it's the young adults. 0:10:59.400 --> 0:11:00.679 When you're the parent of. 0:11:00.679 --> 0:11:02.840 A young they don't have to listen to you. 0:11:02.920 --> 0:11:05.280 That is the part that is the more that could 0:11:05.280 --> 0:11:07.920 give you real serious heart palpitations. 0:11:08.400 --> 0:11:10.400 They're gonna argue back, and they don't live with you, 0:11:10.520 --> 0:11:13.200 and they live outside, and nigga on the phone and 0:11:13.240 --> 0:11:15.880 you and they hang up and all types of stuff. 0:11:15.880 --> 0:11:18.440 You cuss them out and then they don't cuss you, 0:11:18.480 --> 0:11:19.720 oh back, but they want to. 0:11:19.920 --> 0:11:23.439 They still do whatever you want to and make whatever decisions. 0:11:23.800 --> 0:11:27.080 And I think that all it says to me is 0:11:27.679 --> 0:11:29.960 two things. It says to me. One is that I 0:11:30.000 --> 0:11:33.679 definitely have forgotten a lot about me right Like, I'm 0:11:33.720 --> 0:11:37.400 being reminded of how much I did not listen to 0:11:37.520 --> 0:11:40.240 certain things that my parents said at that time. And 0:11:40.760 --> 0:11:43.840 obviously my book I Live to Tell the Story it 0:11:43.960 --> 0:11:48.120 covers it, and and a lot of my writing there 0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:51.080 were moments when I was just like, oh my god, like, yeah, 0:11:51.120 --> 0:11:53.800 I didn't listen, and if I had, things would have 0:11:53.840 --> 0:11:58.040 been a lot different and much better in certain places 0:11:58.040 --> 0:12:00.600 of my life. But the second thing it makes me 0:12:00.720 --> 0:12:04.360 do is say I truly And I have said this 0:12:04.720 --> 0:12:09.079 for years, my son, I've been saying, I'm so sorry 0:12:09.120 --> 0:12:11.840 to my parents, but I mean when I tell you 0:12:11.960 --> 0:12:15.319 I'm sorry, I am. I wish there was a way 0:12:15.720 --> 0:12:22.559 that I could repay them for the stress, aggravation, the 0:12:22.679 --> 0:12:26.800 worry that they have gone through, even things that I 0:12:27.240 --> 0:12:31.800 that wasn't me being defiant but just living my life, right, 0:12:31.880 --> 0:12:33.280 like just living every day. 0:12:33.760 --> 0:12:36.400 Your parents are sitting there holding. 0:12:36.040 --> 0:12:42.240 This major bag of worry and concern, especially when we 0:12:42.320 --> 0:12:46.480 know that that as a young adult, your discernment is 0:12:46.520 --> 0:12:48.640 not exactly where it should be, and we know that 0:12:48.679 --> 0:12:52.360 from the little things. It doesn't require a big old mess. 0:12:52.640 --> 0:12:55.560 We can just tell by little things that you do 0:12:56.000 --> 0:12:59.400 that your discernment is not where it should be. And 0:12:59.440 --> 0:13:02.480 so when you're operating in the big grown up world 0:13:02.600 --> 0:13:07.600 but still walking and doing things that are not big 0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:11.240 and grown up, it really, really, really really can take 0:13:11.960 --> 0:13:14.120 old a person our age out. 0:13:15.080 --> 0:13:15.840 It really can. 0:13:16.240 --> 0:13:19.680 Like I you know, you start feeling like, well, you know, 0:13:19.800 --> 0:13:21.920 I've been saying lately, I'm up in age. 0:13:22.000 --> 0:13:24.080 I cannot handle all of this. 0:13:24.480 --> 0:13:26.720 It's not the same when I used to get a 0:13:26.760 --> 0:13:29.600 call about my son did this or this happened or 0:13:29.600 --> 0:13:33.160 that happened, or if he called me mine, ma is 0:13:33.200 --> 0:13:38.080 the worst thing ever when the kid says my mine, bru, 0:13:38.320 --> 0:13:43.040 it's horrible. And when it was before, I would be like, what, 0:13:43.480 --> 0:13:47.440 it's fine. Now MA can literally send me into. 0:13:47.280 --> 0:13:48.800 Like a what happened? 0:13:49.000 --> 0:13:49.200 Huh? 0:13:49.320 --> 0:13:50.760 I don't know. It's bad. 0:13:51.280 --> 0:13:54.520 Yeah, it's a lot, man, as you get older, and 0:13:54.880 --> 0:13:57.880 I think men deal with it better because, especially when 0:13:57.920 --> 0:14:01.880 you're dealing with men, you know, I been blessed or fortunately, 0:14:01.880 --> 0:14:03.720 I wouldn't say, well not to have a girl, because 0:14:03.760 --> 0:14:05.960 I think if a girl was calling me and stressing 0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:08.560 me out, I would be stressed. I just think that 0:14:08.840 --> 0:14:11.640 since my son is in his twenties and I've been 0:14:11.720 --> 0:14:15.720 twenty and I give him the information and you don't listen, 0:14:16.800 --> 0:14:19.440 I've done my job right and I understand that you 0:14:19.520 --> 0:14:21.520 gotta go through. So I think, man, we realize that 0:14:21.600 --> 0:14:24.120 men have to go through something, especially young boy, y'all 0:14:24.160 --> 0:14:26.080 have to go through because you're not gonna listen. You 0:14:26.160 --> 0:14:28.440 think you know more, you think we, oh, we don't 0:14:28.480 --> 0:14:31.680 know that now you don't really, and you gotta go 0:14:31.760 --> 0:14:34.920 through it to really understand that I know exactly what 0:14:34.960 --> 0:14:37.400 you're going through and I'm trying to give you the information. 0:14:37.720 --> 0:14:39.160 Now you're gonna take it or you not. 0:14:39.440 --> 0:14:41.680 My mother used to always say a hard head make 0:14:41.720 --> 0:14:44.960 a soft ass, and sometimes they need that little soft ass. 0:14:45.000 --> 0:14:48.440 So what I do is I the mother calls me, 0:14:48.520 --> 0:14:52.520 Oh my god, I'm like, what happened? He will he 0:14:52.560 --> 0:14:54.000 will Okay, he'll be fine. 0:14:54.120 --> 0:14:57.280 What do you mean before? No, you will? No, because 0:14:57.280 --> 0:14:59.120 he will. He gonna have to figure it out. 0:14:59.400 --> 0:15:01.720 You can't save them from it right now because we 0:15:01.840 --> 0:15:04.680 gave them the information, we told them not to do that. 0:15:04.880 --> 0:15:07.080 You're not gonna call me and stress me out about no. 0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:07.800 Grown folks. 0:15:07.960 --> 0:15:11.040 Yeah, almost very stressful because you know why, because you're 0:15:11.120 --> 0:15:15.320 taking on the responsibility of these grown folks and you 0:15:15.400 --> 0:15:17.600 can't because they gonna be grown. 0:15:17.800 --> 0:15:17.960 Yeah. 0:15:18.160 --> 0:15:24.360 When grandchildren are part of these grown folks business and 0:15:24.400 --> 0:15:28.240 their decisions, that can really really make you feel like 0:15:28.360 --> 0:15:32.320 I gotta I have to be somewhat involved because somebody's 0:15:32.360 --> 0:15:34.560 gotta be the voice of the child. 0:15:35.280 --> 0:15:38.680 There's nothing wrong with being involved, but understanding that your 0:15:38.720 --> 0:15:42.440 involvement is limited and ultimately they gotta make their own 0:15:42.440 --> 0:15:45.160 decisions and choices. The only thing you can do is 0:15:45.240 --> 0:15:49.360 provide them with the proper information and let them understand 0:15:49.400 --> 0:15:51.400 the reality. And once you do that, you can I 0:15:51.400 --> 0:15:54.520 can sleep good. I sleep good at night. My son 0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:57.720 could be calling me this and that. I pick up 0:15:57.760 --> 0:15:59.400 the phone and say what's going on, because I know 0:15:59.560 --> 0:16:02.000 if something went wrong, it ain't because of me, because 0:16:02.000 --> 0:16:04.400 I told you. But whatever you call me about, I 0:16:04.440 --> 0:16:06.560 know I probably already told you about this. I'm one 0:16:06.600 --> 0:16:08.800 hundred percent sure that if you call me and something 0:16:08.800 --> 0:16:11.200 went wrong, I told you not to do what went 0:16:11.240 --> 0:16:12.080 wrong already. 0:16:12.240 --> 0:16:14.680 So I have a clear conscience. 0:16:15.120 --> 0:16:17.600 I could sleep well and I could look him in 0:16:17.600 --> 0:16:21.040 the face and I can actually say I don't have 0:16:21.120 --> 0:16:23.360 nothing else to do with it. His mother calls me 0:16:23.400 --> 0:16:25.600 and she's all a raiding, Oh you need to do this, 0:16:25.760 --> 0:16:27.720 and I'll be like, no, I don't need to do anything. 0:16:28.440 --> 0:16:30.240 I've done what I was supposed to do. He is 0:16:30.400 --> 0:16:33.520 actually twenty seven years of age right now. I've given 0:16:33.600 --> 0:16:35.960 him all the knowledge. I've give him tools, I've given 0:16:36.040 --> 0:16:39.600 him the alternatives. Whatever he chooses to do at this point, 0:16:39.640 --> 0:16:41.920 it's not on me. And I can sleep good. Yes, 0:16:41.960 --> 0:16:44.800 I want the best for him, but sometimes he got 0:16:44.960 --> 0:16:49.680 to go through this valley to get to the peak. 0:16:49.720 --> 0:16:52.320 And that's on him. But it ain't on me. And 0:16:52.360 --> 0:16:54.200 it's not on you either, And I tell all, it's 0:16:54.240 --> 0:16:54.800 not on you. 0:16:55.360 --> 0:16:57.760 Yeah, but it's all work like that for us as mom. 0:16:57.880 --> 0:16:59.160 No, you have to understand. 0:16:59.240 --> 0:17:01.600 It's like you have to understand. 0:17:01.680 --> 0:17:05.320 And because the decisions that they make, we ultimately get 0:17:05.359 --> 0:17:08.840 involved at some point, whether whether we want to or not. 0:17:09.160 --> 0:17:13.160 That's the problem. You ultimately get involved, and you're trying 0:17:13.200 --> 0:17:15.600 to save them from learning. 0:17:16.640 --> 0:17:16.840 Right. 0:17:17.000 --> 0:17:19.480 You can give them all of the information, and when 0:17:19.480 --> 0:17:22.840 they don't take the information, the only thing you doing 0:17:22.920 --> 0:17:26.000 is driving yourself to early grave. You taking on the stress. 0:17:26.240 --> 0:17:30.400 You can't see. I watch mothers. I've watched people's mothers 0:17:31.040 --> 0:17:34.040 be torn down by the kid, like because the mother's 0:17:34.080 --> 0:17:37.000 trying to do everything, she losing her hair, she's giving 0:17:37.119 --> 0:17:39.639 every dime she's trying to save and you can't. 0:17:39.720 --> 0:17:40.800 It ain't gonna work for you. 0:17:40.880 --> 0:17:43.360 Well, one thing I will say is I ain't going 0:17:43.400 --> 0:17:45.840 to the point of losing my hair. I'm just saying 0:17:45.840 --> 0:17:49.399 that your nervous system is very much so attached to 0:17:49.480 --> 0:17:53.879 your young adult children, right like your nervous system because again, 0:17:54.040 --> 0:17:56.480 you can't control what they're gonna do with decisions they're 0:17:56.480 --> 0:17:59.359 gonna make, even when they even when they could be 0:17:59.400 --> 0:18:03.520 doing everything wonderfully, but just a move I'm going out 0:18:03.920 --> 0:18:08.040 at night, you just like, oh my god. But it's 0:18:08.280 --> 0:18:12.159 very hard, especially for a mom, when you see your 0:18:12.240 --> 0:18:15.600 children moving about. You don't know who's the driver of 0:18:15.680 --> 0:18:19.240 the car. You're worrying about whether or not people you know, 0:18:19.400 --> 0:18:22.720 somebody it got some beef that your child don't even 0:18:22.800 --> 0:18:26.080 know about, and something can happen. It's so many layers 0:18:26.080 --> 0:18:29.200 of things. I just I know, for me, I'm glad, 0:18:29.240 --> 0:18:31.359 you know, I have my granddaughter. I love my granddaughter, 0:18:31.359 --> 0:18:35.000 and I'm glad her parents are the first layer of defense. 0:18:35.440 --> 0:18:39.200 But even with my son, my parents are just as 0:18:39.240 --> 0:18:42.760 worried about everything that goes on every day. They the grandparents, 0:18:42.920 --> 0:18:45.080 They still be like, Hey, you talk to that boy, 0:18:45.560 --> 0:18:47.680 Is he all right? What do he do with this? 0:18:47.960 --> 0:18:50.560 What happened with that? Is this taking care of Do 0:18:50.600 --> 0:18:52.960 they got the right food down there? They had a 0:18:53.000 --> 0:18:56.920 blackout in Atlanta a couple of weeks ago, and they 0:18:56.920 --> 0:19:00.159 didn't They were in the dark now, And it occurred 0:19:00.280 --> 0:19:04.439 to me, oh my god, he doesn't have a survival kit, like, 0:19:04.840 --> 0:19:08.359 he needs the flashlights, the candles, this, that, and the third. 0:19:08.520 --> 0:19:11.680 So you know what I'm doing, putting a survival kit 0:19:11.800 --> 0:19:15.199 together because I know he needs this stuff. So and 0:19:15.280 --> 0:19:18.480 my parents, my dad's like, he down there, it's weird. 0:19:18.560 --> 0:19:19.679 This happened the night. 0:19:19.560 --> 0:19:20.600 Of my birthday party. 0:19:21.280 --> 0:19:24.800 So I'm in my birthday party twirling around and my 0:19:24.920 --> 0:19:27.880 dad is like, did this boy get him a flashlight? 0:19:27.960 --> 0:19:28.520 Down there? 0:19:28.720 --> 0:19:31.880 He's texting us while in the thing like hey, it's 0:19:31.880 --> 0:19:36.320 still a black a blackout. It's very high. Everybody's high. 0:19:36.640 --> 0:19:38.320 We may have to get in the car and drop. 0:19:38.920 --> 0:19:41.240 I'm in the in the birthday party looking at the 0:19:41.280 --> 0:19:44.480 text message like, oh man, okay. Then I go over 0:19:44.560 --> 0:19:47.160 my dad's like, did that boy get a flashlight? This 0:19:47.240 --> 0:19:50.800 is happening in real time with the elderly, But that's 0:19:50.800 --> 0:19:55.160 what But I'm saying, it's the same thing because at 0:19:55.160 --> 0:19:57.720 the end of the day, they should know I need 0:19:57.760 --> 0:19:59.920 to get a good flashlight in my house, but they don't. 0:20:00.080 --> 0:20:02.199 Oh unless you tell them. That's why you have to 0:20:02.240 --> 0:20:05.600 stay involved as the parent. You can't just be like, well, 0:20:06.200 --> 0:20:09.320 I done told you to take care of important things, 0:20:09.560 --> 0:20:12.399