WEBVTT - Amy Reveals The Best Advice She’s Ever Gotten About Men 0:00:16.320 --> 0:00:20.320 Welcome everyone to I Do Part two. It is an innovative, 0:00:20.400 --> 0:00:23.799 one of a kind experiment in podcasting and love so 0:00:24.600 --> 0:00:27.000 out there. If you didn't find love the first time around, 0:00:27.040 --> 0:00:28.160 we're telling you, it's okay. 0:00:28.240 --> 0:00:28.800 We're with you. 0:00:29.040 --> 0:00:31.120 We're here to tell you you can get the confidence 0:00:31.160 --> 0:00:32.040 you need. 0:00:32.120 --> 0:00:34.680 To get back out there and you love again. 0:00:35.000 --> 0:00:37.839 Wow, you're already laughing at me. So apparently that was 0:00:37.880 --> 0:00:40.080 not said confidently enough. I believe you. 0:00:40.159 --> 0:00:41.320 I believe you. 0:00:40.800 --> 0:00:41.960 I believe I'm a believer. 0:00:42.800 --> 0:00:46.280 Amen, Right, we are here. It is really really cool 0:00:46.400 --> 0:00:48.760 to be in the room with all of these ladies 0:00:48.840 --> 0:00:50.880 right now. I am one of your hosts, CJ. Holmes, 0:00:50.920 --> 0:00:54.320 sitting next to my dear love Amy Rollbock and Jinny Garth, 0:00:54.400 --> 0:00:55.720 one of our hosts here as well, is the first 0:00:55.760 --> 0:00:57.680 time we've actually been able to be in the room 0:00:58.160 --> 0:01:00.720 with her as we've done one of these We're so good, 0:01:00.960 --> 0:01:03.080 Joined by a couple of our celebrity mentors and some 0:01:03.160 --> 0:01:05.479 old friends of ours. Now when I say old friends, 0:01:05.520 --> 0:01:05.839 I did. 0:01:10.560 --> 0:01:17.440 Friends of ours way back with what friends? Yes, thank 0:01:17.480 --> 0:01:22.680 you for getting It's okay. 0:01:24.319 --> 0:01:26.880 Who's out from here? 0:01:27.200 --> 0:01:31.160 From The Golden Bachelor and their podcast Bachelor Happy Hour 0:01:31.240 --> 0:01:35.520 Golden Hour. We have Kathy Schwartz and Susan Knowles with 0:01:35.600 --> 0:01:36.119 us today. 0:01:36.160 --> 0:01:37.720 You guys, Yes, we're back. 0:01:38.480 --> 0:01:39.360 We love having you. 0:01:39.520 --> 0:01:42.160 Okay, we have to go because we had so many 0:01:42.240 --> 0:01:45.440 questions last time that we needed more information. Keep going 0:01:45.480 --> 0:01:49.240 because everything you have to say is like golden nuggets. 0:01:49.560 --> 0:01:52.800 Is that that I could I could get some gold 0:01:52.840 --> 0:01:55.280 out of your nuggets? And of course, like the conversation 0:01:55.400 --> 0:01:59.120 between you two and just your beautiful relationship. I think 0:01:59.120 --> 0:02:03.800 that's really iron for people to three times the m absolutely. 0:02:04.480 --> 0:02:07.800 This is from Lisa Rogers. Okay, is there one dating 0:02:07.880 --> 0:02:08.960 site better than the other. 0:02:09.919 --> 0:02:11.720 I've never been on a dating site, so I could 0:02:11.760 --> 0:02:12.760 not answer that question. 0:02:13.000 --> 0:02:14.440 There are all the same people on all the same 0:02:14.520 --> 0:02:15.120 dating sites. 0:02:15.600 --> 0:02:18.400 They say the ones you pay for are better than 0:02:18.440 --> 0:02:20.400 the free ones, but I don't find that to be 0:02:20.440 --> 0:02:21.040 true either. 0:02:21.760 --> 0:02:25.119 I mean, there's so many now it's overwhelming. 0:02:25.520 --> 0:02:27.200 You know, you used to think that you're in a 0:02:27.240 --> 0:02:30.240 big city. There's more people that I think it's harder 0:02:30.760 --> 0:02:33.240 to meet people in a big city, like in New York. 0:02:33.639 --> 0:02:36.280 People complain all the time, this is the worst. 0:02:36.040 --> 0:02:41.720 Place in La youn't Philly. I think the reason in 0:02:41.840 --> 0:02:44.200 big cities and my daughter said this, and I've had 0:02:44.280 --> 0:02:46.800 several other friends say this. When you're in a big city, 0:02:47.560 --> 0:02:49.399 like you can be on a date with a great 0:02:49.440 --> 0:02:51.400 guy or a great woman and they're talking to you 0:02:51.520 --> 0:02:56.639 and then they SEPs, they just wipe. 0:02:58.480 --> 0:03:04.560 There's always someone job, prettier, younger, thinner, smarter, richer. No 0:03:04.840 --> 0:03:07.600 that ha ha ha, but thank you very much. 0:03:07.639 --> 0:03:08.600 I thank you. 0:03:09.919 --> 0:03:11.799 No. But I remember my mom always telling me that, 0:03:12.000 --> 0:03:14.760 she said, you can never when you're actually looking for someone, 0:03:14.960 --> 0:03:17.760 if you get into this comparison business, which I think 0:03:18.120 --> 0:03:21.560 the apps actually encourage and perhaps even make it sort 0:03:21.600 --> 0:03:24.799 of addictive. But if you are always looking for what 0:03:24.919 --> 0:03:27.320 if I could find something better, If you're in that mindset, 0:03:27.600 --> 0:03:30.359 you'll never ever settle down or be okay with what 0:03:30.480 --> 0:03:33.320 you have, or recognize the beauty or uniqueness of what 0:03:33.400 --> 0:03:36.440 you have. So I think these apps unfortunately perpetuate that 0:03:36.760 --> 0:03:39.640 right because you always do have another option, and it's 0:03:39.800 --> 0:03:42.000 right through at your fingertips. That's got to be really tough. 0:03:42.240 --> 0:03:43.960 You don't have to name it. But is there a 0:03:44.160 --> 0:03:47.040 site that you've had more success on than another? Is 0:03:47.120 --> 0:03:48.920 there not a front runner at all? 0:03:49.160 --> 0:03:49.200 No? 0:03:49.960 --> 0:03:54.360 For me, bumble. I met two guys on match that 0:03:54.480 --> 0:03:58.320 were above ground and breathing. And then I met a 0:03:58.360 --> 0:04:00.360 couple guys on the bumble that were worth having second 0:04:00.400 --> 0:04:01.280 day with, but not you. 0:04:01.320 --> 0:04:04.920 Know, not really coffee meets begel. They're all in New 0:04:05.040 --> 0:04:08.640 York or North Jersey. It's about vicinities too. 0:04:09.080 --> 0:04:12.040 Yeah, where you're at look geographically desirul. 0:04:12.280 --> 0:04:15.880 Yes, another question for your all here again no name 0:04:15.960 --> 0:04:17.800 attached to this one, but it says, when do you 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:22.839 start having the money conversations debt, if you say, for retirement, 0:04:22.960 --> 0:04:25.479 if your adult children are going to be taken care 0:04:25.600 --> 0:04:30.360 of or independent financially, when you start having those money conversations. 0:04:31.880 --> 0:04:32.960 Money's always tricky. 0:04:34.200 --> 0:04:36.040 Well, you kind of just keep your eyes open in 0:04:36.080 --> 0:04:38.360 the beginning and you can figure some of it out. 0:04:38.760 --> 0:04:42.960 But I wouldn't have a serious conversation of that nature 0:04:43.120 --> 0:04:46.920 until you're deciding we're serious and we're going to take 0:04:46.960 --> 0:04:48.120 this to the next level. 0:04:48.200 --> 0:04:50.920 We're going to be exclusive. Well, no explicit of all that. 0:04:51.160 --> 0:04:54.760 You just don't sleep with anybody else, right, who says, well, 0:04:54.800 --> 0:04:57.200 I just found that what hooking up was a feature? 0:04:57.200 --> 0:04:59.200 What hooking up means? She knew what making out. 0:04:59.120 --> 0:05:02.720 With you're hooking up with somebody. I just I have 0:05:02.839 --> 0:05:05.159 young daughters, so I know, so you know I did not. 0:05:07.520 --> 0:05:10.520 I have a question on this. So I am probably 0:05:10.600 --> 0:05:14.080 the senior member in this room, and I have to 0:05:14.160 --> 0:05:16.960 be honest. Back to this question TJ that you just read. 0:05:17.560 --> 0:05:20.600 If I met, please God, may it happen the man 0:05:20.720 --> 0:05:26.120 of my second dreams tomorrow. I honestly, I have three children, 0:05:26.160 --> 0:05:30.160 three grown children, and two grandchildren. My husband and I 0:05:30.279 --> 0:05:34.840 worked really hard for the money that I have. I 0:05:35.120 --> 0:05:37.600 want to leave the lion's share of the money I 0:05:37.839 --> 0:05:41.240 have to my children and grandchildren. So I don't expect 0:05:41.240 --> 0:05:43.440 a man to take quote unquote take care of me, 0:05:43.839 --> 0:05:45.240 and I don't want to take care of him. So 0:05:45.320 --> 0:05:48.400 I think at my age, it sort of would be 0:05:48.560 --> 0:05:54.080 a more equal partnership financially, you know, as long as 0:05:54.120 --> 0:05:55.960 he flies me first class wherever we want to go, 0:05:57.400 --> 0:06:00.360 that doesn't hurt. But I'm just saying I want so, 0:06:00.520 --> 0:06:03.520 I don't you know, it's not like pooling money. I 0:06:03.600 --> 0:06:06.680 would expect to share expenses. If we bought a house together, 0:06:07.080 --> 0:06:10.000 we'd own it together. We would share the expenses together. 0:06:10.000 --> 0:06:12.719 And I think that's different when you're young and raising 0:06:12.839 --> 0:06:14.120 kids and you're meeting some well. 0:06:14.040 --> 0:06:17.159 Anybody our age out there looking for somebody to keep 0:06:17.279 --> 0:06:17.680 them a. 0:06:17.760 --> 0:06:23.400 Nurse and as I mean, it's just a nurse or 0:06:23.400 --> 0:06:24.560 a person, thank you so much. 0:06:25.240 --> 0:06:26.200 Yeah, I mean I don't. 0:06:26.720 --> 0:06:29.080 Yeah, it's so the money thing is always a tough one. 0:06:29.480 --> 0:06:31.680 But I think you know, you and I haven't had 0:06:31.760 --> 0:06:33.960 serious converse. I think until you go to live with 0:06:34.040 --> 0:06:37.479 someone and merge households, you know, obviously you are going 0:06:37.560 --> 0:06:40.400 to decide who should pay for dinners and like that'll, 0:06:40.480 --> 0:06:44.600 I guess evolve naturally, but I don't know that it's 0:06:44.760 --> 0:06:48.320 necessary unless you are like actually merging your families together, 0:06:48.440 --> 0:06:49.720 merging your households together. 0:06:50.800 --> 0:06:53.600 Do you have a retirement account? Do you have a 0:06:53.760 --> 0:06:57.200 savings as that was one of the reasons that that 0:06:57.320 --> 0:07:00.640 didn't work. Nothing, No, I mean I have, I have. 0:07:02.360 --> 0:07:04.880 Oh, I'm solely responsible for them, and I'm but I've 0:07:04.920 --> 0:07:07.920 taken responsibility as a as a woman who has always 0:07:08.320 --> 0:07:10.320 been a kind of a single mom to my children, 0:07:10.520 --> 0:07:14.120 like in terms of financial responsibility. So I've I've set 0:07:14.720 --> 0:07:17.960 that that ball emotion. I have a trust and that's 0:07:18.160 --> 0:07:21.360 just something happened and I've operated. No, and I actually 0:07:21.400 --> 0:07:23.640 only learned it after the second time around. So you 0:07:23.840 --> 0:07:28.520 learn from past mistakes. How you protect your interests for 0:07:28.600 --> 0:07:30.840 your children. And yes, when you have kids, and yes 0:07:30.920 --> 0:07:33.040 we're talking to people with their second third time around, 0:07:33.480 --> 0:07:37.600 you've learned, probably in painful ways, what you should have 0:07:37.640 --> 0:07:42.240 done differently, and you make and expensive ways. But I 0:07:42.280 --> 0:07:45.360 will tell you I have taken my daughters along that 0:07:45.480 --> 0:07:49.000 journey with me to say, hey, don't ever rely on 0:07:49.120 --> 0:07:50.080 someone else like that. 0:07:50.320 --> 0:07:50.920 I want them. 0:07:51.000 --> 0:07:53.200 That was the one thing I wanted for them from 0:07:53.240 --> 0:07:55.520 the beginning was to say, hey, no matter what happens, 0:07:55.600 --> 0:07:59.000 if you are financially independent in whatever way you live, 0:07:59.040 --> 0:08:01.920 and you can live modestly, right to live within your means, 0:08:02.400 --> 0:08:05.000 but then you have choices, and then you're empowered to 0:08:05.120 --> 0:08:08.200 make the best decision for yourself. Yes, and that is 0:08:08.320 --> 0:08:10.680 the gift I've hoped to give my daughters. 0:08:10.720 --> 0:08:14.040 But I mean, that's why we're here. Yeah, you like 0:08:14.120 --> 0:08:17.160 us to pass that. My father taught me that early on. 0:08:17.920 --> 0:08:21.160 Don't depend on anybody but yourself. And if you when 0:08:21.400 --> 0:08:24.600 and if you meet somebody that's your equal, that's even better, 0:08:25.160 --> 0:08:27.240 But always depends on yourself first. 0:08:27.880 --> 0:08:28.640 Choose yourself. 0:08:28.800 --> 0:08:31.320 That's funny, you know. My parents told me go find 0:08:31.360 --> 0:08:32.480 your prince charming. 0:08:33.440 --> 0:08:34.480 And marry rich. 0:08:36.240 --> 0:08:39.440 I don't any of that. My grandmother told my mother. 0:08:39.600 --> 0:08:41.520 My mom didn't listen either. Is just as easy to 0:08:41.559 --> 0:08:43.000 fall in love with the rich man as it is 0:08:43.040 --> 0:08:43.920 a foreman. 0:08:43.600 --> 0:08:43.959 I've heard. 0:08:44.080 --> 0:08:46.360 And she laughed because she's like, wow, I did not 0:08:46.520 --> 0:08:51.760 follow that advice. What would you think if you matched 0:08:51.880 --> 0:08:54.000 or went on a date with someone who found out 0:08:54.720 --> 0:08:57.200 that they hadn't been in a relationship in a long time? 0:08:57.800 --> 0:08:58.880 Is that a red flag? 0:09:00.240 --> 0:09:00.440 Well? 0:09:00.640 --> 0:09:03.199 I think if someone took the time to work on themselves, 0:09:03.320 --> 0:09:07.160 that's a good sign. Define how long. 0:09:07.160 --> 0:09:09.200 I was going to say, what's a long time decade? 0:09:10.120 --> 0:09:11.840 You know? I have some questions. 0:09:12.280 --> 0:09:15.080 It depends on the age too, right, yep. And if 0:09:15.080 --> 0:09:17.800 you're raising a family, if you have young kids and 0:09:17.840 --> 0:09:18.960 you're raising you might not have. 0:09:19.320 --> 0:09:20.680 It's two years a long time. 0:09:21.280 --> 0:09:22.959 Yes, that'd be considered a lot. 0:09:23.040 --> 0:09:23.880 I haven't been on a date. 0:09:23.920 --> 0:09:25.120 I have even over two years. 0:09:25.240 --> 0:09:26.720 I have been on a date in two years, two 0:09:26.800 --> 0:09:30.480 years on a date or not on a date. 0:09:30.559 --> 0:09:32.439 I didn't know that the last time we talked to you, 0:09:32.840 --> 0:09:34.720 but I thought, don't you feel for us? 0:09:35.600 --> 0:09:40.240 It's not something I like. Since no one's listening to 0:09:40.360 --> 0:09:43.000 this at all, it's just us live in this room. 0:09:43.880 --> 0:09:45.000 I have not been on a date. I have a 0:09:45.040 --> 0:09:47.760 couple of male friends like I would, but not a date. 0:09:48.559 --> 0:09:50.760 Last time we saw you all, I thought you would 0:09:50.760 --> 0:09:51.520 just a date. 0:09:51.679 --> 0:09:53.520 Yo, we were ready to date. 0:09:53.600 --> 0:09:57.000 You were ready to yes, ready, I can assume and 0:09:57.200 --> 0:10:02.280 would be very wondering, cautionary, reticent, thank you. 0:10:02.480 --> 0:10:05.280 That's the story of our life. Oh, I know, we've 0:10:05.320 --> 0:10:06.000 got to break that. 0:10:06.360 --> 0:10:09.360 So people say, well, just for you less, Susan, be less. 0:10:09.640 --> 0:10:11.480 Oh okay, we've. 0:10:11.360 --> 0:10:13.520 Talked about this. We can only be who we are. 0:10:13.679 --> 0:10:16.599 That's you know. I am authentically who I am, and 0:10:16.679 --> 0:10:18.480 if you don't, I'm not everyone's cup of tea. And 0:10:18.520 --> 0:10:20.640 I accept that, but I'm not going. 0:10:20.640 --> 0:10:24.280 I am everyone's cup of tea. They're just being stupid, Kathy. 0:10:25.480 --> 0:10:28.360 Have you all actually considered it, taken moments, and you 0:10:28.400 --> 0:10:30.560 know what, maybe we do need to change things up 0:10:30.559 --> 0:10:32.320 a little bit because there's so many people to give 0:10:32.360 --> 0:10:34.839 relationship advice, to tell a woman to be a little this. 0:10:34.960 --> 0:10:36.520 Don't be so we have some mine in the studio. 0:10:36.600 --> 0:10:38.200 Don't be so bossy. You gotta kind of. 0:10:38.600 --> 0:10:39.720 Save that for the boardroom. 0:10:39.760 --> 0:10:40.360 In the bedroom. 0:10:40.400 --> 0:10:41.880 You need to take right. 0:10:42.000 --> 0:10:44.000 She made a total point, like you need to let 0:10:44.280 --> 0:10:47.480 him be the man. And that's a hard thing to hear. 0:10:47.800 --> 0:10:49.200 I leave when I dance. 0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:50.040 Are you kidding? 0:10:52.520 --> 0:10:52.920 I got it? 0:10:53.040 --> 0:10:54.880 I was standing on the bell. We did like eight 0:10:55.080 --> 0:10:55.640 count of eight. 0:10:55.720 --> 0:10:58.600 He goes, wait a minute, I lead Susan always, No. 0:10:58.840 --> 0:10:59.760 That's the weirdest. 0:11:00.240 --> 0:11:03.840 Women were built to be strong and take care of ourselves. 0:11:03.960 --> 0:11:08.680 There are men so intimidated, j there are We've got 0:11:08.720 --> 0:11:09.520 a man in the house. 0:11:09.679 --> 0:11:13.199 Well, that's tough for me to answer, because I'm with 0:11:13.360 --> 0:11:18.440 this one. This is the strongest, most stubborn, bullheaded, selfish, arrogant. 0:11:19.920 --> 0:11:26.040 This don't this is who I'm with. I mean, So 0:11:26.240 --> 0:11:30.079 it's tough to You have to be friends first, Well 0:11:30.200 --> 0:11:32.959 you have to, but you have to have some kind 0:11:33.040 --> 0:11:36.400 of confidence in yourself to be with a woman as 0:11:36.440 --> 0:11:37.000 strong as you. 0:11:37.200 --> 0:11:40.280 You you and you you have to So where are 0:11:40.320 --> 0:11:42.240 they all? What rock are they hiding under? 0:11:42.440 --> 0:11:43.880 What would you change about us? 0:11:44.559 --> 0:11:45.400 We don't have enough time. 0:11:45.679 --> 0:11:48.839 Oh absolutely, see that's the thing. And it almost breaks 0:11:48.880 --> 0:11:50.920 my heart because we have plenty of conversations on our 0:11:50.920 --> 0:11:53.719 show about it with different women about like trying to 0:11:53.880 --> 0:11:57.760 alter or change anything about who you are to make 0:11:57.960 --> 0:12:00.440 this guy feel better about himself. So that he can 0:12:00.520 --> 0:12:02.800 then ask you out, and it's just too much of 0:12:02.840 --> 0:12:05.880 a game. And we're too we're grown, we're adults at 0:12:05.880 --> 0:12:06.160 this point. 0:12:07.120 --> 0:12:09.720 One thing I learned that this is something I practice 0:12:10.080 --> 0:12:12.840 when you're in the restaurant. You don't talk to the waiter. 0:12:12.960 --> 0:12:15.599 You let him talk. That's like a chore for me. 0:12:16.240 --> 0:12:18.199 It's like I got something to say, but I have 0:12:18.360 --> 0:12:20.120 to let the man take the lead. 0:12:20.559 --> 0:12:21.560 That was difficult. 0:12:22.880 --> 0:12:24.640 I have to let the man take the lead. 0:12:25.760 --> 0:12:29.000 That's still a thing. Is that register with you at already? Don't? 0:12:29.360 --> 0:12:29.680 I don't. 0:12:30.000 --> 0:12:31.280 I don't know. That feels so weird. 0:12:31.320 --> 0:12:36.000 But maybe that's a generationally maybe older men feel differently 0:12:36.040 --> 0:12:36.319 about that. 0:12:36.400 --> 0:12:37.600 But oh yeah, that's a good point. 0:12:37.640 --> 0:12:40.679 My husband would never be offended if I took the 0:12:40.800 --> 0:12:44.840 leader you know he has. He doesn't get threatened by 0:12:45.080 --> 0:12:45.720 my strength. 0:12:46.200 --> 0:12:48.079 I think you need Boddy should. 0:13:02.160 --> 0:13:06.000 This is from Hannah Almer, I believe it's her name. 0:13:06.559 --> 0:13:10.040 What is a good way? And by the way, Hannah, 0:13:10.120 --> 0:13:12.000 if you know the answer or interview in this room, 0:13:12.080 --> 0:13:14.680 tell me what is a good way to start dating 0:13:14.800 --> 0:13:18.760 again after a long period of not wanting to date? 0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:20.120 Any good advice on that? 0:13:20.800 --> 0:13:21.920 Somebody to ask me? 0:13:22.360 --> 0:13:23.480 Yeah, it's called. 0:13:25.720 --> 0:13:27.080 I heard about the d MS. 0:13:28.559 --> 0:13:30.360 Oh yeah, that's the other thing we talk about sliding 0:13:30.440 --> 0:13:35.120 into our dates are frozen over. No, there's no sliding. 0:13:36.760 --> 0:13:38.320 Maybe there's a lock box, guys. 0:13:38.280 --> 0:13:38.679 We don't know. 0:13:45.400 --> 0:13:47.400 We tried that too. That does do that. 0:13:49.080 --> 0:13:52.640 What is the advice anybody good way to start dating again? Yeah, 0:13:52.760 --> 0:13:53.840 for somebody who hasn't been. 0:13:53.960 --> 0:13:55.640 I guess listen to your instincts. 0:13:55.720 --> 0:13:57.760 If you've been, if you've taken some time and you've 0:13:57.800 --> 0:14:00.960 done some work on yourself, you found that why place 0:14:01.120 --> 0:14:04.200 to know who you are and find your strength as 0:14:04.200 --> 0:14:08.040 a woman, Then listen to those instincts because they're not 0:14:08.280 --> 0:14:09.880 going to take you to the wrong place. 0:14:10.000 --> 0:14:12.040 Can I just tell you everyone told me to go 0:14:12.120 --> 0:14:14.559 to golf courses because that's where single men are. I 0:14:14.720 --> 0:14:17.440 have pitched a tent for the last two months at 0:14:17.480 --> 0:14:19.760 a local golf course. I haven't met one guy yet. 0:14:21.520 --> 0:14:23.160 I mean a lot of them on the golf course. 0:14:23.200 --> 0:14:26.680 They're laughing, but they're all married, like married. I have 0:14:26.800 --> 0:14:31.240 another anonymous question, Should we be more open to dating 0:14:31.360 --> 0:14:32.640 people long distance? 0:14:35.360 --> 0:14:38.440 I think I think that's tough. Especially I feel like 0:14:38.480 --> 0:14:41.160 even at my age, it would just feel like a 0:14:41.320 --> 0:14:45.760 time suck, Like why would I be wasting time? Travel? Like? 0:14:46.160 --> 0:14:47.120 It depends on what you want. 0:14:47.240 --> 0:14:49.120 I mean, if you want a companion to see and 0:14:49.280 --> 0:14:51.680 to be around and detext and to have fun. But 0:14:51.760 --> 0:14:54.000 if you really want a partner who you're with day 0:14:54.040 --> 0:14:56.480 in and day out, that's not you're just wasting time. 0:14:58.600 --> 0:15:00.720 Yeah yeah, But what if the person you're madly in 0:15:00.800 --> 0:15:02.880 love with it's a job and has to go somewhere else. 0:15:03.400 --> 0:15:05.560 Oh that's different then, and you can't go with him? 0:15:05.640 --> 0:15:06.760 Like, how do you do that? 0:15:07.000 --> 0:15:09.400 Kind of why can't you go with him? 0:15:09.920 --> 0:15:12.480 That was my difference. It's a different Are we established 0:15:12.520 --> 0:15:15.240 as a couple before we have to move across country 0:15:15.240 --> 0:15:15.640 from each other? 0:15:15.760 --> 0:15:15.880 Oh? 0:15:15.920 --> 0:15:16.680 Do you consider? 0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:19.840 Oh? Yeah, that's I consider that. If we're already establishing, 0:15:19.920 --> 0:15:23.000 we're good to go. That's one thing versus starting initially 0:15:23.320 --> 0:15:25.320 having to kind of get to know somebody in a 0:15:25.400 --> 0:15:26.320 two hour flight away. 0:15:26.440 --> 0:15:29.080 Well, what's happening for the last couple of years around 0:15:29.120 --> 0:15:31.480 here is zero? I'm open to. 0:15:32.560 --> 0:15:34.880 Can I just say? Ben Higgins, who we all know 0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:37.720 and love. We had him on our podcast and he 0:15:38.000 --> 0:15:41.920 talked about when he met his now wife that they 0:15:42.200 --> 0:15:45.240 always every time they met because they lived in different cities, 0:15:45.680 --> 0:15:49.120 it was in Denver. She was in Nashville when they met. 0:15:49.760 --> 0:15:52.960 They would plan to see each other before they met. 0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:56.720 They would already have the next time plan and they 0:15:56.760 --> 0:15:59.880 would never be cry or sad. It would always be they. 0:16:02.440 --> 0:16:04.360 I mean, and and you know it worked for them. 0:16:04.400 --> 0:16:06.520 I think it's possible. I think it's difficult, but I 0:16:06.600 --> 0:16:07.360 think it's possible. 0:16:07.400 --> 0:16:10.280 I mean, what's long distance Europe. That would be across 0:16:10.320 --> 0:16:14.320 the country. I think, you know, I've definitely that was 0:16:14.400 --> 0:16:17.720 hard for my marriage. I know I didn't foresee that 0:16:17.840 --> 0:16:20.360 visit in New York l A thing. Yeah, like across 0:16:20.400 --> 0:16:21.960 the country sometimes on location. 0:16:22.600 --> 0:16:26.000 Again, though you had young children, right, Jenny, three little girls, 0:16:26.880 --> 0:16:29.080 it was a big deal. We could do it, Susan, 0:16:29.240 --> 0:16:32.360 I do New York l A. I would do it. 0:16:32.720 --> 0:16:33.280 I would do it. 0:16:34.080 --> 0:16:36.760 I think once the kids come into the situation, we're 0:16:36.840 --> 0:16:37.480 beyond kids. 0:16:37.560 --> 0:16:37.920 We're good. 0:16:38.040 --> 0:16:39.600 That's the that's the beauty of it. 0:16:39.800 --> 0:16:41.760 Jenny and yours, how long were you all not seeing 0:16:41.760 --> 0:16:43.840 each other? How long would you go without seeing your 0:16:44.400 --> 0:16:44.960 husband at the. 0:16:45.000 --> 0:16:49.440 Time, Well, a shoot would be like at least four weeks. 0:16:51.560 --> 0:16:53.960 But he was really good about trying to get back 0:16:54.000 --> 0:16:56.840 to the kids every week. He really did go back 0:16:56.880 --> 0:16:59.240 and forth a lot because it was easier for him 0:16:59.280 --> 0:17:00.920 to go back and forth, you know, and then it 0:17:01.080 --> 0:17:02.040 was for me to take the girls. 0:17:02.080 --> 0:17:06.359 But you know, we absence makes the heart grow fonder, 0:17:06.520 --> 0:17:09.000 like you miss him, and when you did see each 0:17:09.040 --> 0:17:10.400 other it was even more exciting. 0:17:10.560 --> 0:17:10.960 Or was it. 0:17:12.000 --> 0:17:14.639 I would say it was a mix of both that 0:17:14.880 --> 0:17:18.840 and the total opposite of that. Mm hmm. 0:17:19.200 --> 0:17:23.000 Listen, Susan, we cannot complain if we get dates in 0:17:23.280 --> 0:17:25.159 la you know, damn right, while you and I are 0:17:25.200 --> 0:17:26.960 going back and forth, let's just cut to the church. 0:17:27.040 --> 0:17:29.240 There's for you. Tom. 0:17:29.560 --> 0:17:32.160 I'm in Philadelphia, Texas. 0:17:32.040 --> 0:17:33.920 Okay, but I'm ready to move. 0:17:34.760 --> 0:17:35.040 Okay. 0:17:35.440 --> 0:17:36.360 They're international. 0:17:36.760 --> 0:17:37.200 I like that. 0:17:39.960 --> 0:17:42.440 I have listen. I have two grandchildren and two kids 0:17:42.600 --> 0:17:45.200 live in Austin, and I love my family and I 0:17:45.320 --> 0:17:47.640 love my grandkids. That's what plans are for. I would 0:17:47.640 --> 0:17:49.800 go back and forth. I hear you. I could do that. 0:17:49.880 --> 0:17:51.320 It is one of those school things now that I'm 0:17:51.320 --> 0:17:54.280 an empty nester, like the idea that like I can live. 0:17:56.040 --> 0:17:58.800 This is a good one. Actually, what do you value 0:17:58.920 --> 0:17:59.320 the most? 0:17:59.520 --> 0:17:59.920 Confident? 0:18:00.440 --> 0:18:01.920 Humor, attractiveness? 0:18:04.000 --> 0:18:05.480 This is say them again. 0:18:05.640 --> 0:18:07.879 I guess what my to you? 0:18:08.080 --> 0:18:17.120 Confidence a sense of humor or attractiveness, the above. 0:18:19.760 --> 0:18:21.000 The most important. 0:18:24.560 --> 0:18:27.760 I like to say attractiveness. It's what I'm attracted to. 0:18:28.080 --> 0:18:32.400 Right, Yeah, being good looking it's like being attractive. 0:18:32.480 --> 0:18:34.680 So let's say attractive. I would say attractive is number 0:18:34.720 --> 0:18:36.840 one because it's an umbrella for so many things. 0:18:38.440 --> 0:18:39.840 But I like to laugh, you guys. 0:18:40.520 --> 0:18:42.719 Number number two. 0:18:43.680 --> 0:18:44.760 You can't make me laugh. 0:18:45.480 --> 0:18:47.160 I don't even want attracted. 0:18:47.640 --> 0:18:49.760 Agreed, and that is like the huge thing he and I. 0:18:49.920 --> 0:18:52.639 I have never laughed along with the human in my life. 0:18:52.880 --> 0:18:56.080 And confidence number three. 0:18:56.480 --> 0:18:56.840 I mean. 0:18:59.160 --> 0:19:02.359 You can make actually agree you were in. Confidence is 0:19:02.440 --> 0:19:07.720 absolutely the umbrella attract if you weren't the other two. 0:19:07.920 --> 0:19:10.959 If a guy is medium, more strong, they can make 0:19:11.080 --> 0:19:12.800 me laugh. He has confidence. 0:19:14.359 --> 0:19:16.040