Speaker 1: Welcome everyone to I Do Part two. It is an innovative,
Speaker 1: one of a kind experiment in podcasting and love so
Speaker 1: out there. If you didn't find love the first time around,
Speaker 1: we're telling you, it's okay.
Speaker 2: We're with you.
Speaker 1: We're here to tell you you can get the confidence
Speaker 1: you need.
Speaker 2: To get back out there and you love again.
Speaker 1: Wow, you're already laughing at me. So apparently that was
Speaker 1: not said confidently enough. I believe you.
Speaker 3: I believe you.
Speaker 2: I believe I'm a believer.
Speaker 4: Amen, Right, we are here. It is really really cool
Speaker 4: to be in the room with all of these ladies
Speaker 4: right now. I am one of your hosts, CJ. Holmes,
Speaker 4: sitting next to my dear love Amy Rollbock and Jinny Garth,
Speaker 4: one of our hosts here as well, is the first
Speaker 4: time we've actually been able to be in the room
Speaker 4: with her as we've done one of these We're so good,
Speaker 4: Joined by a couple of our celebrity mentors and some
Speaker 4: old friends of ours. Now when I say old friends,
Speaker 4: I did.
Speaker 2: Friends of ours way back with what friends? Yes, thank
Speaker 2: you for getting It's okay.
Speaker 3: Who's out from here?
Speaker 5: From The Golden Bachelor and their podcast Bachelor Happy Hour
Speaker 5: Golden Hour. We have Kathy Schwartz and Susan Knowles with
Speaker 5: us today.
Speaker 6: You guys, Yes, we're back.
Speaker 3: We love having you.
Speaker 5: Okay, we have to go because we had so many
Speaker 5: questions last time that we needed more information. Keep going
Speaker 5: because everything you have to say is like golden nuggets.
Speaker 5: Is that that I could I could get some gold
Speaker 5: out of your nuggets? And of course, like the conversation
Speaker 5: between you two and just your beautiful relationship. I think
Speaker 5: that's really iron for people to three times the m absolutely.
Speaker 5: This is from Lisa Rogers. Okay, is there one dating
Speaker 5: site better than the other.
Speaker 1: I've never been on a dating site, so I could
Speaker 1: not answer that question.
Speaker 2: There are all the same people on all the same
Speaker 2: dating sites.
Speaker 3: They say the ones you pay for are better than
Speaker 3: the free ones, but I don't find that to be
Speaker 3: true either.
Speaker 6: I mean, there's so many now it's overwhelming.
Speaker 3: You know, you used to think that you're in a
Speaker 3: big city. There's more people that I think it's harder
Speaker 3: to meet people in a big city, like in New York.
Speaker 3: People complain all the time, this is the worst.
Speaker 2: Place in La youn't Philly. I think the reason in
Speaker 2: big cities and my daughter said this, and I've had
Speaker 2: several other friends say this. When you're in a big city,
Speaker 2: like you can be on a date with a great
Speaker 2: guy or a great woman and they're talking to you
Speaker 2: and then they SEPs, they just wipe.
Speaker 1: There's always someone job, prettier, younger, thinner, smarter, richer. No
Speaker 1: that ha ha ha, but thank you very much.
Speaker 2: I thank you.
Speaker 1: No. But I remember my mom always telling me that,
Speaker 1: she said, you can never when you're actually looking for someone,
Speaker 1: if you get into this comparison business, which I think
Speaker 1: the apps actually encourage and perhaps even make it sort
Speaker 1: of addictive. But if you are always looking for what
Speaker 1: if I could find something better, If you're in that mindset,
Speaker 1: you'll never ever settle down or be okay with what
Speaker 1: you have, or recognize the beauty or uniqueness of what
Speaker 1: you have. So I think these apps unfortunately perpetuate that
Speaker 1: right because you always do have another option, and it's
Speaker 1: right through at your fingertips. That's got to be really tough.
Speaker 4: You don't have to name it. But is there a
Speaker 4: site that you've had more success on than another? Is
Speaker 4: there not a front runner at all?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: For me, bumble. I met two guys on match that
Speaker 2: were above ground and breathing. And then I met a
Speaker 2: couple guys on the bumble that were worth having second
Speaker 2: day with, but not you.
Speaker 3: Know, not really coffee meets begel. They're all in New
Speaker 3: York or North Jersey. It's about vicinities too.
Speaker 6: Yeah, where you're at look geographically desirul.
Speaker 4: Yes, another question for your all here again no name
Speaker 4: attached to this one, but it says, when do you
Speaker 4: start having the money conversations debt, if you say, for retirement,
Speaker 4: if your adult children are going to be taken care
Speaker 4: of or independent financially, when you start having those money conversations.
Speaker 6: Money's always tricky.
Speaker 3: Well, you kind of just keep your eyes open in
Speaker 3: the beginning and you can figure some of it out.
Speaker 3: But I wouldn't have a serious conversation of that nature
Speaker 3: until you're deciding we're serious and we're going to take
Speaker 3: this to the next level.
Speaker 6: We're going to be exclusive. Well, no explicit of all that.
Speaker 3: You just don't sleep with anybody else, right, who says, well,
Speaker 3: I just found that what hooking up was a feature?
Speaker 2: What hooking up means? She knew what making out.
Speaker 3: With you're hooking up with somebody. I just I have
Speaker 3: young daughters, so I know, so you know I did not.
Speaker 2: I have a question on this. So I am probably
Speaker 2: the senior member in this room, and I have to
Speaker 2: be honest. Back to this question TJ that you just read.
Speaker 2: If I met, please God, may it happen the man
Speaker 2: of my second dreams tomorrow. I honestly, I have three children,
Speaker 2: three grown children, and two grandchildren. My husband and I
Speaker 2: worked really hard for the money that I have. I
Speaker 2: want to leave the lion's share of the money I
Speaker 2: have to my children and grandchildren. So I don't expect
Speaker 2: a man to take quote unquote take care of me,
Speaker 2: and I don't want to take care of him. So
Speaker 2: I think at my age, it sort of would be
Speaker 2: a more equal partnership financially, you know, as long as
Speaker 2: he flies me first class wherever we want to go,
Speaker 2: that doesn't hurt. But I'm just saying I want so,
Speaker 2: I don't you know, it's not like pooling money. I
Speaker 2: would expect to share expenses. If we bought a house together,
Speaker 2: we'd own it together. We would share the expenses together.
Speaker 2: And I think that's different when you're young and raising
Speaker 2: kids and you're meeting some well.
Speaker 3: Anybody our age out there looking for somebody to keep
Speaker 3: them a.
Speaker 2: Nurse and as I mean, it's just a nurse or
Speaker 2: a person, thank you so much.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I don't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so the money thing is always a tough one.
Speaker 1: But I think you know, you and I haven't had
Speaker 1: serious converse. I think until you go to live with
Speaker 1: someone and merge households, you know, obviously you are going
Speaker 1: to decide who should pay for dinners and like that'll,
Speaker 1: I guess evolve naturally, but I don't know that it's
Speaker 1: necessary unless you are like actually merging your families together,
Speaker 1: merging your households together.
Speaker 3: Do you have a retirement account? Do you have a
Speaker 3: savings as that was one of the reasons that that
Speaker 3: didn't work. Nothing, No, I mean I have, I have.
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm solely responsible for them, and I'm but I've
Speaker 1: taken responsibility as a as a woman who has always
Speaker 1: been a kind of a single mom to my children,
Speaker 1: like in terms of financial responsibility. So I've I've set
Speaker 1: that that ball emotion. I have a trust and that's
Speaker 1: just something happened and I've operated. No, and I actually
Speaker 1: only learned it after the second time around. So you
Speaker 1: learn from past mistakes. How you protect your interests for
Speaker 1: your children. And yes, when you have kids, and yes
Speaker 1: we're talking to people with their second third time around,
Speaker 1: you've learned, probably in painful ways, what you should have
Speaker 1: done differently, and you make and expensive ways. But I
Speaker 1: will tell you I have taken my daughters along that
Speaker 1: journey with me to say, hey, don't ever rely on
Speaker 1: someone else like that.
Speaker 3: I want them.
Speaker 1: That was the one thing I wanted for them from
Speaker 1: the beginning was to say, hey, no matter what happens,
Speaker 1: if you are financially independent in whatever way you live,
Speaker 1: and you can live modestly, right to live within your means,
Speaker 1: but then you have choices, and then you're empowered to
Speaker 1: make the best decision for yourself. Yes, and that is
Speaker 1: the gift I've hoped to give my daughters.
Speaker 6: But I mean, that's why we're here. Yeah, you like
Speaker 6: us to pass that. My father taught me that early on.
Speaker 3: Don't depend on anybody but yourself. And if you when
Speaker 3: and if you meet somebody that's your equal, that's even better,
Speaker 3: But always depends on yourself first.
Speaker 6: Choose yourself.
Speaker 2: That's funny, you know. My parents told me go find
Speaker 2: your prince charming.
Speaker 3: And marry rich.
Speaker 2: I don't any of that. My grandmother told my mother.
Speaker 1: My mom didn't listen either. Is just as easy to
Speaker 1: fall in love with the rich man as it is
Speaker 1: a foreman.
Speaker 2: I've heard.
Speaker 1: And she laughed because she's like, wow, I did not
Speaker 1: follow that advice. What would you think if you matched
Speaker 1: or went on a date with someone who found out
Speaker 1: that they hadn't been in a relationship in a long time?
Speaker 1: Is that a red flag?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 1: I think if someone took the time to work on themselves,
Speaker 1: that's a good sign. Define how long.
Speaker 3: I was going to say, what's a long time decade?
Speaker 1: You know? I have some questions.
Speaker 2: It depends on the age too, right, yep. And if
Speaker 2: you're raising a family, if you have young kids and
Speaker 2: you're raising you might not have.
Speaker 3: It's two years a long time.
Speaker 6: Yes, that'd be considered a lot.
Speaker 3: I haven't been on a date.
Speaker 2: I have even over two years.
Speaker 3: I have been on a date in two years, two
Speaker 3: years on a date or not on a date.
Speaker 4: I didn't know that the last time we talked to you,
Speaker 4: but I thought, don't you feel for us?
Speaker 2: It's not something I like. Since no one's listening to
Speaker 2: this at all, it's just us live in this room.
Speaker 2: I have not been on a date. I have a
Speaker 2: couple of male friends like I would, but not a date.
Speaker 4: Last time we saw you all, I thought you would
Speaker 4: just a date.
Speaker 2: Yo, we were ready to date.
Speaker 5: You were ready to yes, ready, I can assume and
Speaker 5: would be very wondering, cautionary, reticent, thank you.
Speaker 6: That's the story of our life. Oh, I know, we've
Speaker 6: got to break that.
Speaker 3: So people say, well, just for you less, Susan, be less.
Speaker 6: Oh okay, we've.
Speaker 2: Talked about this. We can only be who we are.
Speaker 2: That's you know. I am authentically who I am, and
Speaker 2: if you don't, I'm not everyone's cup of tea. And
Speaker 2: I accept that, but I'm not going.
Speaker 3: I am everyone's cup of tea. They're just being stupid, Kathy.
Speaker 4: Have you all actually considered it, taken moments, and you
Speaker 4: know what, maybe we do need to change things up
Speaker 4: a little bit because there's so many people to give
Speaker 4: relationship advice, to tell a woman to be a little this.
Speaker 4: Don't be so we have some mine in the studio.
Speaker 4: Don't be so bossy. You gotta kind of.
Speaker 2: Save that for the boardroom.
Speaker 1: In the bedroom.
Speaker 2: You need to take right.
Speaker 1: She made a total point, like you need to let
Speaker 1: him be the man. And that's a hard thing to hear.
Speaker 3: I leave when I dance.
Speaker 2: Are you kidding?
Speaker 1: I got it?
Speaker 2: I was standing on the bell. We did like eight
Speaker 2: count of eight.
Speaker 3: He goes, wait a minute, I lead Susan always, No.
Speaker 2: That's the weirdest.
Speaker 6: Women were built to be strong and take care of ourselves.
Speaker 3: There are men so intimidated, j there are We've got
Speaker 3: a man in the house.
Speaker 4: Well, that's tough for me to answer, because I'm with
Speaker 4: this one. This is the strongest, most stubborn, bullheaded, selfish, arrogant.
Speaker 4: This don't this is who I'm with. I mean, So
Speaker 4: it's tough to You have to be friends first, Well
Speaker 4: you have to, but you have to have some kind
Speaker 4: of confidence in yourself to be with a woman as
Speaker 4: strong as you.
Speaker 2: You you and you you have to So where are
Speaker 2: they all? What rock are they hiding under?
Speaker 3: What would you change about us?
Speaker 2: We don't have enough time.
Speaker 4: Oh absolutely, see that's the thing. And it almost breaks
Speaker 4: my heart because we have plenty of conversations on our
Speaker 4: show about it with different women about like trying to
Speaker 4: alter or change anything about who you are to make
Speaker 4: this guy feel better about himself. So that he can
Speaker 4: then ask you out, and it's just too much of
Speaker 4: a game. And we're too we're grown, we're adults at
Speaker 4: this point.
Speaker 3: One thing I learned that this is something I practice
Speaker 3: when you're in the restaurant. You don't talk to the waiter.
Speaker 3: You let him talk. That's like a chore for me.
Speaker 3: It's like I got something to say, but I have
Speaker 3: to let the man take the lead.
Speaker 2: That was difficult.
Speaker 3: I have to let the man take the lead.
Speaker 4: That's still a thing. Is that register with you at already? Don't?
Speaker 4: I don't.
Speaker 6: I don't know. That feels so weird.
Speaker 5: But maybe that's a generationally maybe older men feel differently
Speaker 5: about that.
Speaker 1: But oh yeah, that's a good point.
Speaker 5: My husband would never be offended if I took the
Speaker 5: leader you know he has. He doesn't get threatened by
Speaker 5: my strength.
Speaker 3: I think you need Boddy should.
Speaker 2: This is from Hannah Almer, I believe it's her name.
Speaker 2: What is a good way? And by the way, Hannah,
Speaker 2: if you know the answer or interview in this room,
Speaker 2: tell me what is a good way to start dating
Speaker 2: again after a long period of not wanting to date?
Speaker 2: Any good advice on that?
Speaker 3: Somebody to ask me?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's called.
Speaker 3: I heard about the d MS.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's the other thing we talk about sliding
Speaker 2: into our dates are frozen over. No, there's no sliding.
Speaker 2: Maybe there's a lock box, guys.
Speaker 4: We don't know.
Speaker 2: We tried that too. That does do that.
Speaker 4: What is the advice anybody good way to start dating again? Yeah,
Speaker 4: for somebody who hasn't been.
Speaker 6: I guess listen to your instincts.
Speaker 5: If you've been, if you've taken some time and you've
Speaker 5: done some work on yourself, you found that why place
Speaker 5: to know who you are and find your strength as
Speaker 5: a woman, Then listen to those instincts because they're not
Speaker 5: going to take you to the wrong place.
Speaker 2: Can I just tell you everyone told me to go
Speaker 2: to golf courses because that's where single men are. I
Speaker 2: have pitched a tent for the last two months at
Speaker 2: a local golf course. I haven't met one guy yet.
Speaker 3: I mean a lot of them on the golf course.
Speaker 3: They're laughing, but they're all married, like married. I have
Speaker 3: another anonymous question, Should we be more open to dating
Speaker 3: people long distance?
Speaker 1: I think I think that's tough. Especially I feel like
Speaker 1: even at my age, it would just feel like a
Speaker 1: time suck, Like why would I be wasting time? Travel? Like?
Speaker 2: It depends on what you want.
Speaker 1: I mean, if you want a companion to see and
Speaker 1: to be around and detext and to have fun. But
Speaker 1: if you really want a partner who you're with day
Speaker 1: in and day out, that's not you're just wasting time.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, But what if the person you're madly in
Speaker 5: love with it's a job and has to go somewhere else.
Speaker 2: Oh that's different then, and you can't go with him?
Speaker 6: Like, how do you do that?
Speaker 2: Kind of why can't you go with him?
Speaker 4: That was my difference. It's a different Are we established
Speaker 4: as a couple before we have to move across country
Speaker 4: from each other?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 6: Do you consider?
Speaker 4: Oh? Yeah, that's I consider that. If we're already establishing,
Speaker 4: we're good to go. That's one thing versus starting initially
Speaker 4: having to kind of get to know somebody in a
Speaker 4: two hour flight away.
Speaker 3: Well, what's happening for the last couple of years around
Speaker 3: here is zero? I'm open to.
Speaker 2: Can I just say? Ben Higgins, who we all know
Speaker 2: and love. We had him on our podcast and he
Speaker 2: talked about when he met his now wife that they
Speaker 2: always every time they met because they lived in different cities,
Speaker 2: it was in Denver. She was in Nashville when they met.
Speaker 2: They would plan to see each other before they met.
Speaker 2: They would already have the next time plan and they
Speaker 2: would never be cry or sad. It would always be they.
Speaker 2: I mean, and and you know it worked for them.
Speaker 2: I think it's possible. I think it's difficult, but I
Speaker 2: think it's possible.
Speaker 5: I mean, what's long distance Europe. That would be across
Speaker 5: the country. I think, you know, I've definitely that was
Speaker 5: hard for my marriage. I know I didn't foresee that
Speaker 5: visit in New York l A thing. Yeah, like across
Speaker 5: the country sometimes on location.
Speaker 2: Again, though you had young children, right, Jenny, three little girls,
Speaker 2: it was a big deal. We could do it, Susan,
Speaker 2: I do New York l A. I would do it.
Speaker 2: I would do it.
Speaker 6: I think once the kids come into the situation, we're
Speaker 6: beyond kids.
Speaker 2: We're good.
Speaker 6: That's the that's the beauty of it.
Speaker 4: Jenny and yours, how long were you all not seeing
Speaker 4: each other? How long would you go without seeing your
Speaker 4: husband at the.
Speaker 5: Time, Well, a shoot would be like at least four weeks.
Speaker 5: But he was really good about trying to get back
Speaker 5: to the kids every week. He really did go back
Speaker 5: and forth a lot because it was easier for him
Speaker 5: to go back and forth, you know, and then it
Speaker 5: was for me to take the girls.
Speaker 3: But you know, we absence makes the heart grow fonder,
Speaker 3: like you miss him, and when you did see each
Speaker 3: other it was even more exciting.
Speaker 4: Or was it.
Speaker 6: I would say it was a mix of both that
Speaker 6: and the total opposite of that. Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: Listen, Susan, we cannot complain if we get dates in
Speaker 2: la you know, damn right, while you and I are
Speaker 2: going back and forth, let's just cut to the church.
Speaker 2: There's for you. Tom.
Speaker 3: I'm in Philadelphia, Texas.
Speaker 4: Okay, but I'm ready to move.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 6: They're international.
Speaker 4: I like that.
Speaker 2: I have listen. I have two grandchildren and two kids
Speaker 2: live in Austin, and I love my family and I
Speaker 2: love my grandkids. That's what plans are for. I would
Speaker 2: go back and forth. I hear you. I could do that.
Speaker 1: It is one of those school things now that I'm
Speaker 1: an empty nester, like the idea that like I can live.
Speaker 6: This is a good one. Actually, what do you value
Speaker 6: the most?
Speaker 2: Confident?
Speaker 6: Humor, attractiveness?
Speaker 1: This is say them again.
Speaker 3: I guess what my to you?
Speaker 5: Confidence a sense of humor or attractiveness, the above.
Speaker 6: The most important.
Speaker 3: I like to say attractiveness. It's what I'm attracted to.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, being good looking it's like being attractive.
Speaker 2: So let's say attractive. I would say attractive is number
Speaker 2: one because it's an umbrella for so many things.
Speaker 6: But I like to laugh, you guys.
Speaker 2: Number number two.
Speaker 3: You can't make me laugh.
Speaker 2: I don't even want attracted.
Speaker 1: Agreed, and that is like the huge thing he and I.
Speaker 1: I have never laughed along with the human in my life.
Speaker 4: And confidence number three.
Speaker 1: I mean.
Speaker 2: You can make actually agree you were in. Confidence is
Speaker 2: absolutely the umbrella attract if you weren't the other two.
Speaker 6: If a guy is medium, more strong, they can make
Speaker 6: me laugh. He has confidence.
Speaker 1: You can't be funny and not be smart, and.
Speaker 2: So being attractive. Let me just sum this up. Let
Speaker 2: me rank them all for you, Okay, Attractive is number one, two, three, four,
Speaker 2: and five because under attractive comes attractive, good looking, smart,
Speaker 2: intelligent sense of humor, compassionate, good sense of humor, covering.
Speaker 3: Anybody out there, six one zero, and and the house
Speaker 3: on Martha's vendered.
Speaker 4: What about a confident guy who has no sense of UNI's.
Speaker 2: A really funny guy who is just an idiot. Okay, next, good, good,
Speaker 2: good job trying to sit that one.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 4: Do you think people come into your life randomly or
Speaker 4: do you think it's the universe? Are you all universe?
Speaker 6: A universe?
Speaker 3: Universe? I've been practiced where I am right now right,
Speaker 3: I think it's universe.
Speaker 6: Yeah, universe, absolutely.
Speaker 3: I just don't have a vision board. I think I
Speaker 3: need a vision board and put the man on.
Speaker 6: There's what you got in your head, you need to
Speaker 6: get out.
Speaker 2: On a board.
Speaker 1: I believe the reason season lifetime, I really do. I
Speaker 1: think people can believe people come into your life for
Speaker 1: a reason for a season all.
Speaker 2: The time, all of us, I say, for all the time.
Speaker 2: People come into your life for a reason in a season,
Speaker 2: and the season might be a lifetime, but it's not random.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree around A lot of randoms have.
Speaker 2: Come into my life. But that's a whole other conversation.
Speaker 4: I have come around to that thinking. I am sitting
Speaker 4: here in a room with you full of women, full
Speaker 4: of woman having a good glasses of wine.
Speaker 2: Myss is empty college football game on having.
Speaker 4: A good time with you all, And the only reason
Speaker 4: I'm here is because everything had to go exactly the
Speaker 4: way it went, and I'm happy where I am. So
Speaker 4: that's why I regret is such a difficult word. I
Speaker 4: would like to say that I'm happy where I am
Speaker 4: the I've come around bridge.
Speaker 2: This guy is a walking Hallmark No, no, but.
Speaker 1: I think I love watching Hallmark movies.
Speaker 2: By the way, the best try ever.
Speaker 1: God, we will sit there and laugh.
Speaker 3: We laugh.
Speaker 2: And so how many times you've been married?
Speaker 4: Too?
Speaker 2: Okay, let's just say three and chill be number three?
Speaker 2: Can I be number four? We stopped?
Speaker 3: But three we stopped three?
Speaker 4: Look at this, Kathy.
Speaker 3: We have a long night ahead of us with this right,
Speaker 3: flow your paste.
Speaker 1: Seriously, this is an interesting question. Do people think rejection
Speaker 1: is better than regret?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: No, you should pick another one.
Speaker 2: That one doesn't even count.
Speaker 1: I mean, wait, it'd be better if somebody rejected you
Speaker 1: rather than you are staying with them and then you
Speaker 1: regretting being with them. Would you rather be rejected than
Speaker 1: have time? I guess if you look at it from
Speaker 1: that perspective, I guess what your mom said, better to
Speaker 1: know in five months than in five years. So if
Speaker 1: someone had to reject you for you to know, it
Speaker 1: wasn't right versus waiting and wasting years and then regretting it.
Speaker 4: I mean, I'm too many pills and understand what you said.
Speaker 6: I think I hear you like I would want to know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, as it's like ripping the band aid off. Rather
Speaker 1: feel the pain now than slowly stings.
Speaker 2: But you heal. Yeah, If the man you're dating is
Speaker 2: paying alimony to his ex wife, how are you supposed
Speaker 2: to plan your future? Do you need to hold off
Speaker 2: on pressuring him? Pressuring?
Speaker 3: Pressuring?
Speaker 1: For you should never pressure a man to marry you ever, period.
Speaker 2: Do not.
Speaker 3: She's pressuring him about.
Speaker 2: The ag him to get in a relationship, but he
Speaker 2: has to pay alimony.
Speaker 1: She wants him to be focused on her and her finances.
Speaker 2: Pay alimony to an ex wife. It doesn't sound payment.
Speaker 2: It is a it's a there's no emotion involved that
Speaker 2: in fact, and damn whens is alimony going to be over?
Speaker 1: And the word pressuring should never be in a woman's vocabulary.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's not going to end well. If
Speaker 1: you have to pressure a man to be with you,
Speaker 1: it's not.
Speaker 2: Going to do That's another thing we just learned pressure.
Speaker 6: I did that right to wait, But I don't even
Speaker 6: know what would pressure look like.
Speaker 2: When getting married when all you're doing is paying money
Speaker 2: to your ex wife everything?
Speaker 3: What about our future?
Speaker 2: What about our future?
Speaker 1: When we have about where's my diamond ring?
Speaker 2: Where's where's my name ring? What about our house? You're
Speaker 2: paying so much money to Louise that you don't have
Speaker 2: enough money to focus on.
Speaker 6: It does not sound much.
Speaker 2: It doesn't sound help me. I don't want to I
Speaker 2: don't want to be there. I don't want to run.
Speaker 2: I don't want to be there.
Speaker 3: Okay, another anonymous, I agree. When you're on round two?
Speaker 3: Is it okay to keep dating if you aren't sure
Speaker 3: there is a future? When do you have the what
Speaker 3: are we?
Speaker 2: Conversation?
Speaker 4: What are we?
Speaker 6: Conversed?
Speaker 1: Im?
Speaker 2: When you want to know?
Speaker 1: I think you have the conversation when you want to know, like,
Speaker 1: let's not play games?
Speaker 2: Is the question?
Speaker 1: When I want to know what we are, I'm going
Speaker 1: to ask what are we? Wait?
Speaker 2: Wait a minute, if you if you have to ask,
Speaker 2: I'm not saying this is true. If you have to
Speaker 2: ask what are we? Does that say send a message?
Speaker 1: No? I think that there. I Actually we had a
Speaker 1: converse and we talked about this. We remembered exactly where
Speaker 1: we were when we said what are we doing? And
Speaker 1: what are we and you know, yeah, what are we doing?
Speaker 1: Like we know how we feel, but what are we doing?
Speaker 3: Are we going from?
Speaker 1: And where are we going? And you know, I'm at
Speaker 1: a point in my life where if we're if I'm
Speaker 1: going to be with you, this is what I want
Speaker 1: and if you don't want the same thing, let's establish this.
Speaker 2: Now, what did you do the same thing?
Speaker 3: And that's very mature knowing yourself.
Speaker 1: You do a certain age and that's just that's where you're.
Speaker 2: At because of age.
Speaker 6: Mostly, Yeah, you've learned some things. You don't have time.
Speaker 6: You just don't have time to wait.
Speaker 2: Okay, what I want to know, did either of you
Speaker 2: have this conversation with did you guys? You did have it?
Speaker 6: Did you have tell me what conversation?
Speaker 2: Did you have the conversation with you?
Speaker 1: What are we are? We?
Speaker 2: Did you have that conversation with your husband.
Speaker 3: Or on the same page?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't think a lot of times that happens.
Speaker 5: You just so, we did not wait very long. We
Speaker 5: were it was a very fast and furious that was
Speaker 5: a way sham. Yeah, I'm very impulsive. So I think
Speaker 5: we you know, we learned about each other after we
Speaker 5: had already like jumped in, which might have been really hard.
Speaker 2: I mean, people, how fast was if you don't mind
Speaker 2: my asking how fast?
Speaker 3: Okay, that's so hard for me, she said, he is
Speaker 3: not the one.
Speaker 2: I think we leave this dinner weeks later.
Speaker 3: I think we got engaged.
Speaker 6: Three months later married. Yeah, nine months.
Speaker 2: Tonight, when we go out for dinner with these great folks,
Speaker 2: we're going to look at every guy and go, oh,
Speaker 2: you want to get married.
Speaker 4: You were engaged to you after three months? Right, yeah?
Speaker 6: But the changed it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, I get it like the next d But
Speaker 4: you put that in our head because we're going out
Speaker 4: with him tonight. He's just.
Speaker 2: By the way your husband. I just met him. He's
Speaker 2: a very handsome man, think so very handsome.
Speaker 3: I went and hugged them and didn't shake any hand.
Speaker 2: I'm a hugger. I don't think he knew what to do.
Speaker 2: It's like, who is this?
Speaker 3: He was very comfortable, Kathy. You know, his name is Dave.
Speaker 6: He's Dave. He's very he's not going. He's kind of Dave.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 6: He's very easy going, easy to get along with.
Speaker 3: So all right, he got the book.
Speaker 2: Oh, Jesus got the long one. This stunt.
Speaker 6: Okay, this is we're going to go deep for a second. Okay,
Speaker 6: I think, Okay.
Speaker 5: My big problem is I've been in domestic violence relationships
Speaker 5: I told you, and I freak out and isolate myself
Speaker 5: when it comes to talking with guys. Now, I'm so
Speaker 5: afraid to get hurt or cheated on. I freeze up.
Speaker 5: Can someone give me some advice on how to approach
Speaker 5: men or some good opening lines.
Speaker 4: We can't pretend to be experts. I mean, that's that's
Speaker 4: something going on there that I wouldn't ever get to
Speaker 4: work on yourself to understand, but I can from that perspective.
Speaker 4: My god, if you've been through that experience, would you
Speaker 4: ever open yourself up put yourself out there? So that's difficult,
Speaker 4: but the thing is you, that's what you almost have
Speaker 4: to do.
Speaker 3: You have a good opening line for a woman to
Speaker 3: say to a man. Hi, Hi, it's okay, it's about
Speaker 3: smiling about you.
Speaker 4: Are I just I hate ever feeding somebody try this
Speaker 4: line or trying to do this thing. It's okay to
Speaker 4: be you. And I don't know the age on that
Speaker 4: person either, but it's just that's heartbreaking to think you're
Speaker 4: in a position why you just can't be yourself and
Speaker 4: can't be natural and always have a guard up. But
Speaker 4: we can certainly understand why.
Speaker 1: And I think you know you TJ. You've I was
Speaker 1: actually kind of interested in something you told me. You said,
Speaker 1: I don't know why women think that men want you
Speaker 1: to play hard to get or men want you to
Speaker 1: play games, like men actually want to know that you
Speaker 1: like them. Men want to know that you're interested.
Speaker 3: In them, because they say, don't be available.
Speaker 1: Like TJ was like, be a straight shooter and like,
Speaker 1: and that's the kind of person you want to be with.
Speaker 1: Someone who wants to know, who doesn't want to play games,
Speaker 1: who doesn't want to like pretend to need to chase
Speaker 1: you like we're all especially if you've been through some
Speaker 1: sh and it sounds like she certainly has. Shouldn't shouldn't
Speaker 1: she want an adult, mature relationship And that involves starting
Speaker 1: at a place of realness and authenticity. And I think
Speaker 1: when you show someone who you are, if they don't
Speaker 1: want to be with you, good, then you know upfront,
Speaker 1: like if you can just be yourself, I would just say, yeah,
Speaker 1: you have to be Willings. I know it's scary to be,
Speaker 1: but to be yourself is that's the only way you're
Speaker 1: going to get an authentic love in return.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, And when you see a red flag, believe it's
Speaker 3: a red flag.
Speaker 1: When someone shows you who they are, yes.
Speaker 2: I believe them.
Speaker 4: Okay, we've been told we got time for one more?
Speaker 3: Is it you want to No, it's oh please, my love, gentlemen,
Speaker 3: take it last one here?
Speaker 4: Wow? Okay, it says it's directed at me.
Speaker 3: Actually, OHJ the best for last.
Speaker 4: Oh you are gonna love this. Is it acceptable to
Speaker 4: set one of your guy friends up with more than
Speaker 4: one of your female friends or is that in bad taste?
Speaker 4: Why don't.
Speaker 3: As long as you're honest about say. I don't know
Speaker 3: who's action was, but.
Speaker 6: I guess you're right. Let's be realistic. I think it's
Speaker 6: okay for me.
Speaker 2: I think when you read that, I have this visceral response,
Speaker 2: which is, if if TJ sets and I'm praying he does,
Speaker 2: sets me up with someone he knows, I want at
Speaker 2: least have the opportunity to explore where our relationship could
Speaker 2: go with his friend without feeling like it's a I'm
Speaker 2: a meat part of a meat market, Like hey, I
Speaker 2: got ten girlfriends here, you know which I would want
Speaker 2: the opportunity, and then if if TJ's friends said, Kathy,
Speaker 2: it's been real, So you don't like the idea. I
Speaker 2: don't like that. I don't want to be I don't
Speaker 2: want to be considered one of a pack. I don't
Speaker 2: want to I don't.
Speaker 3: I want just like going on the best it's like
Speaker 3: going on a dating side.
Speaker 2: I don't want to be shocked. If that makes sense.
Speaker 4: I think most guys would not do that out of
Speaker 4: respect for their friends. I think the female friends I
Speaker 4: have now the guy friends I have, I would never
Speaker 4: start and mix.
Speaker 3: I would personally on your own without the women know
Speaker 3: and give him an option, show them both, talk about
Speaker 3: both people that you'd like them to meet.
Speaker 2: And let him make that sick one at a time.
Speaker 3: Right, I'm not saying fix them up with both.
Speaker 2: Let him that's what.
Speaker 3: Then he makes that.
Speaker 2: So TJ dnswer is Kathy first, Susan second.
Speaker 4: Every time I see you, I thought we saw a
Speaker 4: reckon overring about who who we know?
Speaker 3: Then they forget, but we're coming.
Speaker 1: I am no, And I do like what you said,
Speaker 1: because I think that no one wants to think they're
Speaker 1: being It's almost like an agent trying to push their clients,
Speaker 1: like whoever you want. But I got several pig problem
Speaker 1: with you, Like that feels icky like or something. Yeah. No,
Speaker 1: I appreciate the fact that you let one relationship see
Speaker 1: if it works if it doesn't, and then and only
Speaker 1: then when you say, would you mind if and.
Speaker 2: You know what, I would hope that if you know,
Speaker 2: if you if Dave fixed Susan or me up with someone,
Speaker 2: I would hope that that friend would come to David say,
Speaker 2: you know, I really like Susan, but now I really
Speaker 2: like to meet Kathy. Susan wasn't all I thought you
Speaker 2: would be.
Speaker 3: But Kathy is notice how she named that the order
Speaker 3: of that way.
Speaker 2: I would if it were a good friend, I would
Speaker 2: hope that person would come to you and say, being
Speaker 2: true to yourself for me and right and you know
Speaker 2: she was great, but I don't think she's for me
Speaker 2: and there's nothing wrong. But I would feel better about
Speaker 2: that then, Susan, how is your date? I don't know
Speaker 2: how is your date? What you talk about?
Speaker 1: Kathy?
Speaker 2: What're you talk about? Really said that to you? He
Speaker 2: told me he doesn't, he doesn't. He told me he
Speaker 2: prefers petite brunettes. Oh yeah, we were, We were on
Speaker 2: that show.
Speaker 3: But you know what, I love being with you guys
Speaker 3: doing this today. We got to schedule this more often.
Speaker 4: You are to our listener. This is a true story.
Speaker 4: The five of us are going out tonight together and
Speaker 4: I mean we're going out hard. We're not just doingtized.
Speaker 4: Oh no, we got a long night ahead, so we
Speaker 4: hopefully we can do it. Episode about that later. But
Speaker 4: keep your questions coming to us again. If you are
Speaker 4: single and ready to find your person, or you want
Speaker 4: to ask us more questions about love and dating and relationships,
Speaker 4: this is what we want you to do. You can
Speaker 4: call us at one eight four four four I Do Pod.
Speaker 4: That's eight four four four four three six seven sixty three.
Speaker 4: Email us I Do Pod at iHeartRadio dot com. That's
Speaker 4: I Do pod at ourheartradio dot com. We're on Instagram
Speaker 4: and TikTok at I Do Part two pod. Also, all
Speaker 4: this info will be in the show notes, and make
Speaker 4: sure to rate and review the podcast. This is I
Speaker 4: Do Part two and iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 3: We're falling in Love is what if I open my
Speaker 3: own dating service, like I could fix people up?
Speaker 2: What do you think Wait, I just want to finish
Speaker 2: what you said.
Speaker 4: We're here for love, yes, falling in love is the
Speaker 4: main of the name Jay.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.
Speaker 4: All right, thank you all for listeners. Don't we're not
Speaker 4: doing yet.
Speaker 2: Wait, we're We're all right. We'll see what part three.
Speaker 2: We got this