1
00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:20,320
Speaker 1: Welcome everyone to I Do Part two. It is an innovative,

2
00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:23,799
Speaker 1: one of a kind experiment in podcasting and love so

3
00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:27,000
Speaker 1: out there. If you didn't find love the first time around,

4
00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:28,160
Speaker 1: we're telling you, it's okay.

5
00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:28,800
Speaker 2: We're with you.

6
00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:31,120
Speaker 1: We're here to tell you you can get the confidence

7
00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:32,040
Speaker 1: you need.

8
00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:34,680
Speaker 2: To get back out there and you love again.

9
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,839
Speaker 1: Wow, you're already laughing at me. So apparently that was

10
00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:40,080
Speaker 1: not said confidently enough. I believe you.

11
00:00:40,159 --> 00:00:41,320
Speaker 3: I believe you.

12
00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:41,960
Speaker 2: I believe I'm a believer.

13
00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:46,280
Speaker 4: Amen, Right, we are here. It is really really cool

14
00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:48,760
Speaker 4: to be in the room with all of these ladies

15
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,880
Speaker 4: right now. I am one of your hosts, CJ. Holmes,

16
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:54,320
Speaker 4: sitting next to my dear love Amy Rollbock and Jinny Garth,

17
00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:55,720
Speaker 4: one of our hosts here as well, is the first

18
00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:57,680
Speaker 4: time we've actually been able to be in the room

19
00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:00,720
Speaker 4: with her as we've done one of these We're so good,

20
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:03,080
Speaker 4: Joined by a couple of our celebrity mentors and some

21
00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:05,479
Speaker 4: old friends of ours. Now when I say old friends,

22
00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:05,839
Speaker 4: I did.

23
00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:17,440
Speaker 2: Friends of ours way back with what friends? Yes, thank

24
00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:22,680
Speaker 2: you for getting It's okay.

25
00:01:24,319 --> 00:01:26,880
Speaker 3: Who's out from here?

26
00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:31,160
Speaker 5: From The Golden Bachelor and their podcast Bachelor Happy Hour

27
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:35,520
Speaker 5: Golden Hour. We have Kathy Schwartz and Susan Knowles with

28
00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:36,119
Speaker 5: us today.

29
00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:37,720
Speaker 6: You guys, Yes, we're back.

30
00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:39,360
Speaker 3: We love having you.

31
00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:42,160
Speaker 5: Okay, we have to go because we had so many

32
00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:45,440
Speaker 5: questions last time that we needed more information. Keep going

33
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:49,240
Speaker 5: because everything you have to say is like golden nuggets.

34
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:52,800
Speaker 5: Is that that I could I could get some gold

35
00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:55,280
Speaker 5: out of your nuggets? And of course, like the conversation

36
00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:59,120
Speaker 5: between you two and just your beautiful relationship. I think

37
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:03,800
Speaker 5: that's really iron for people to three times the m absolutely.

38
00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:07,800
Speaker 5: This is from Lisa Rogers. Okay, is there one dating

39
00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:08,960
Speaker 5: site better than the other.

40
00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:11,720
Speaker 1: I've never been on a dating site, so I could

41
00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:12,760
Speaker 1: not answer that question.

42
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,440
Speaker 2: There are all the same people on all the same

43
00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:15,120
Speaker 2: dating sites.

44
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:18,400
Speaker 3: They say the ones you pay for are better than

45
00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:20,400
Speaker 3: the free ones, but I don't find that to be

46
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:21,040
Speaker 3: true either.

47
00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:25,119
Speaker 6: I mean, there's so many now it's overwhelming.

48
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,200
Speaker 3: You know, you used to think that you're in a

49
00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:30,240
Speaker 3: big city. There's more people that I think it's harder

50
00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:33,240
Speaker 3: to meet people in a big city, like in New York.

51
00:02:33,639 --> 00:02:36,280
Speaker 3: People complain all the time, this is the worst.

52
00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:41,720
Speaker 2: Place in La youn't Philly. I think the reason in

53
00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:44,200
Speaker 2: big cities and my daughter said this, and I've had

54
00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:46,800
Speaker 2: several other friends say this. When you're in a big city,

55
00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:49,399
Speaker 2: like you can be on a date with a great

56
00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:51,400
Speaker 2: guy or a great woman and they're talking to you

57
00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:56,639
Speaker 2: and then they SEPs, they just wipe.

58
00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:04,560
Speaker 1: There's always someone job, prettier, younger, thinner, smarter, richer. No

59
00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:07,600
Speaker 1: that ha ha ha, but thank you very much.

60
00:03:07,639 --> 00:03:08,600
Speaker 2: I thank you.

61
00:03:09,919 --> 00:03:11,799
Speaker 1: No. But I remember my mom always telling me that,

62
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,760
Speaker 1: she said, you can never when you're actually looking for someone,

63
00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:17,760
Speaker 1: if you get into this comparison business, which I think

64
00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,560
Speaker 1: the apps actually encourage and perhaps even make it sort

65
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:24,799
Speaker 1: of addictive. But if you are always looking for what

66
00:03:24,919 --> 00:03:27,320
Speaker 1: if I could find something better, If you're in that mindset,

67
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:30,359
Speaker 1: you'll never ever settle down or be okay with what

68
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:33,320
Speaker 1: you have, or recognize the beauty or uniqueness of what

69
00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:36,440
Speaker 1: you have. So I think these apps unfortunately perpetuate that

70
00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:39,640
Speaker 1: right because you always do have another option, and it's

71
00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,000
Speaker 1: right through at your fingertips. That's got to be really tough.

72
00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:43,960
Speaker 4: You don't have to name it. But is there a

73
00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:47,040
Speaker 4: site that you've had more success on than another? Is

74
00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:48,920
Speaker 4: there not a front runner at all?

75
00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:49,200
Speaker 1: No?

76
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:54,360
Speaker 2: For me, bumble. I met two guys on match that

77
00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:58,320
Speaker 2: were above ground and breathing. And then I met a

78
00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:00,360
Speaker 2: couple guys on the bumble that were worth having second

79
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:01,280
Speaker 2: day with, but not you.

80
00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:04,920
Speaker 3: Know, not really coffee meets begel. They're all in New

81
00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:08,640
Speaker 3: York or North Jersey. It's about vicinities too.

82
00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:12,040
Speaker 6: Yeah, where you're at look geographically desirul.

83
00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:15,880
Speaker 4: Yes, another question for your all here again no name

84
00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:17,800
Speaker 4: attached to this one, but it says, when do you

85
00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:22,839
Speaker 4: start having the money conversations debt, if you say, for retirement,

86
00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:25,479
Speaker 4: if your adult children are going to be taken care

87
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:30,360
Speaker 4: of or independent financially, when you start having those money conversations.

88
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:32,960
Speaker 6: Money's always tricky.

89
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,040
Speaker 3: Well, you kind of just keep your eyes open in

90
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:38,360
Speaker 3: the beginning and you can figure some of it out.

91
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:42,960
Speaker 3: But I wouldn't have a serious conversation of that nature

92
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:46,920
Speaker 3: until you're deciding we're serious and we're going to take

93
00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:48,120
Speaker 3: this to the next level.

94
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,920
Speaker 6: We're going to be exclusive. Well, no explicit of all that.

95
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:54,760
Speaker 3: You just don't sleep with anybody else, right, who says, well,

96
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:57,200
Speaker 3: I just found that what hooking up was a feature?

97
00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:59,200
Speaker 2: What hooking up means? She knew what making out.

98
00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:02,720
Speaker 3: With you're hooking up with somebody. I just I have

99
00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:05,159
Speaker 3: young daughters, so I know, so you know I did not.

100
00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:10,520
Speaker 2: I have a question on this. So I am probably

101
00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:14,080
Speaker 2: the senior member in this room, and I have to

102
00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,960
Speaker 2: be honest. Back to this question TJ that you just read.

103
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:20,600
Speaker 2: If I met, please God, may it happen the man

104
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:26,120
Speaker 2: of my second dreams tomorrow. I honestly, I have three children,

105
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:30,160
Speaker 2: three grown children, and two grandchildren. My husband and I

106
00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:34,840
Speaker 2: worked really hard for the money that I have. I

107
00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:37,600
Speaker 2: want to leave the lion's share of the money I

108
00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:41,240
Speaker 2: have to my children and grandchildren. So I don't expect

109
00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:43,440
Speaker 2: a man to take quote unquote take care of me,

110
00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:45,240
Speaker 2: and I don't want to take care of him. So

111
00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:48,400
Speaker 2: I think at my age, it sort of would be

112
00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:54,080
Speaker 2: a more equal partnership financially, you know, as long as

113
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:55,960
Speaker 2: he flies me first class wherever we want to go,

114
00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:00,360
Speaker 2: that doesn't hurt. But I'm just saying I want so,

115
00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:03,520
Speaker 2: I don't you know, it's not like pooling money. I

116
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:06,680
Speaker 2: would expect to share expenses. If we bought a house together,

117
00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:10,000
Speaker 2: we'd own it together. We would share the expenses together.

118
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,719
Speaker 2: And I think that's different when you're young and raising

119
00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:14,120
Speaker 2: kids and you're meeting some well.

120
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:17,159
Speaker 3: Anybody our age out there looking for somebody to keep

121
00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:17,680
Speaker 3: them a.

122
00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:23,400
Speaker 2: Nurse and as I mean, it's just a nurse or

123
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:24,560
Speaker 2: a person, thank you so much.

124
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:26,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I don't.

125
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so the money thing is always a tough one.

126
00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:31,680
Speaker 1: But I think you know, you and I haven't had

127
00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:33,960
Speaker 1: serious converse. I think until you go to live with

128
00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:37,479
Speaker 1: someone and merge households, you know, obviously you are going

129
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:40,400
Speaker 1: to decide who should pay for dinners and like that'll,

130
00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:44,600
Speaker 1: I guess evolve naturally, but I don't know that it's

131
00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:48,320
Speaker 1: necessary unless you are like actually merging your families together,

132
00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:49,720
Speaker 1: merging your households together.

133
00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:53,600
Speaker 3: Do you have a retirement account? Do you have a

134
00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:57,200
Speaker 3: savings as that was one of the reasons that that

135
00:06:57,320 --> 00:07:00,640
Speaker 3: didn't work. Nothing, No, I mean I have, I have.

136
00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:04,880
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm solely responsible for them, and I'm but I've

137
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:07,920
Speaker 1: taken responsibility as a as a woman who has always

138
00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:10,320
Speaker 1: been a kind of a single mom to my children,

139
00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:14,120
Speaker 1: like in terms of financial responsibility. So I've I've set

140
00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:17,960
Speaker 1: that that ball emotion. I have a trust and that's

141
00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:21,360
Speaker 1: just something happened and I've operated. No, and I actually

142
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,640
Speaker 1: only learned it after the second time around. So you

143
00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:28,520
Speaker 1: learn from past mistakes. How you protect your interests for

144
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:30,840
Speaker 1: your children. And yes, when you have kids, and yes

145
00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,040
Speaker 1: we're talking to people with their second third time around,

146
00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:37,600
Speaker 1: you've learned, probably in painful ways, what you should have

147
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:42,240
Speaker 1: done differently, and you make and expensive ways. But I

148
00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:45,360
Speaker 1: will tell you I have taken my daughters along that

149
00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:49,000
Speaker 1: journey with me to say, hey, don't ever rely on

150
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:50,080
Speaker 1: someone else like that.

151
00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:50,920
Speaker 3: I want them.

152
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,200
Speaker 1: That was the one thing I wanted for them from

153
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,520
Speaker 1: the beginning was to say, hey, no matter what happens,

154
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:59,000
Speaker 1: if you are financially independent in whatever way you live,

155
00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:01,920
Speaker 1: and you can live modestly, right to live within your means,

156
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:05,000
Speaker 1: but then you have choices, and then you're empowered to

157
00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:08,200
Speaker 1: make the best decision for yourself. Yes, and that is

158
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,680
Speaker 1: the gift I've hoped to give my daughters.

159
00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:14,040
Speaker 6: But I mean, that's why we're here. Yeah, you like

160
00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:17,160
Speaker 6: us to pass that. My father taught me that early on.

161
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:21,160
Speaker 3: Don't depend on anybody but yourself. And if you when

162
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:24,600
Speaker 3: and if you meet somebody that's your equal, that's even better,

163
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,240
Speaker 3: But always depends on yourself first.

164
00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:28,640
Speaker 6: Choose yourself.

165
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,320
Speaker 2: That's funny, you know. My parents told me go find

166
00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:32,480
Speaker 2: your prince charming.

167
00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:34,480
Speaker 3: And marry rich.

168
00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:39,440
Speaker 2: I don't any of that. My grandmother told my mother.

169
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,520
Speaker 1: My mom didn't listen either. Is just as easy to

170
00:08:41,559 --> 00:08:43,000
Speaker 1: fall in love with the rich man as it is

171
00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:43,920
Speaker 1: a foreman.

172
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:43,959
Speaker 2: I've heard.

173
00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:46,360
Speaker 1: And she laughed because she's like, wow, I did not

174
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:51,760
Speaker 1: follow that advice. What would you think if you matched

175
00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,000
Speaker 1: or went on a date with someone who found out

176
00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:57,200
Speaker 1: that they hadn't been in a relationship in a long time?

177
00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:58,880
Speaker 1: Is that a red flag?

178
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:00,440
Speaker 3: Well?

179
00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:03,199
Speaker 1: I think if someone took the time to work on themselves,

180
00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:07,160
Speaker 1: that's a good sign. Define how long.

181
00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:09,200
Speaker 3: I was going to say, what's a long time decade?

182
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:11,840
Speaker 1: You know? I have some questions.

183
00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:15,080
Speaker 2: It depends on the age too, right, yep. And if

184
00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:17,800
Speaker 2: you're raising a family, if you have young kids and

185
00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:18,960
Speaker 2: you're raising you might not have.

186
00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:20,680
Speaker 3: It's two years a long time.

187
00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:22,959
Speaker 6: Yes, that'd be considered a lot.

188
00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:23,880
Speaker 3: I haven't been on a date.

189
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:25,120
Speaker 2: I have even over two years.

190
00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:26,720
Speaker 3: I have been on a date in two years, two

191
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:30,480
Speaker 3: years on a date or not on a date.

192
00:09:30,559 --> 00:09:32,439
Speaker 4: I didn't know that the last time we talked to you,

193
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:34,720
Speaker 4: but I thought, don't you feel for us?

194
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:40,240
Speaker 2: It's not something I like. Since no one's listening to

195
00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:43,000
Speaker 2: this at all, it's just us live in this room.

196
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:45,000
Speaker 2: I have not been on a date. I have a

197
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:47,760
Speaker 2: couple of male friends like I would, but not a date.

198
00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:50,760
Speaker 4: Last time we saw you all, I thought you would

199
00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:51,520
Speaker 4: just a date.

200
00:09:51,679 --> 00:09:53,520
Speaker 2: Yo, we were ready to date.

201
00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:57,000
Speaker 5: You were ready to yes, ready, I can assume and

202
00:09:57,200 --> 00:10:02,280
Speaker 5: would be very wondering, cautionary, reticent, thank you.

203
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:05,280
Speaker 6: That's the story of our life. Oh, I know, we've

204
00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:06,000
Speaker 6: got to break that.

205
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:09,360
Speaker 3: So people say, well, just for you less, Susan, be less.

206
00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:11,480
Speaker 6: Oh okay, we've.

207
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,520
Speaker 2: Talked about this. We can only be who we are.

208
00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:16,599
Speaker 2: That's you know. I am authentically who I am, and

209
00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:18,480
Speaker 2: if you don't, I'm not everyone's cup of tea. And

210
00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:20,640
Speaker 2: I accept that, but I'm not going.

211
00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:24,280
Speaker 3: I am everyone's cup of tea. They're just being stupid, Kathy.

212
00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:28,360
Speaker 4: Have you all actually considered it, taken moments, and you

213
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,560
Speaker 4: know what, maybe we do need to change things up

214
00:10:30,559 --> 00:10:32,320
Speaker 4: a little bit because there's so many people to give

215
00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:34,839
Speaker 4: relationship advice, to tell a woman to be a little this.

216
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:36,520
Speaker 4: Don't be so we have some mine in the studio.

217
00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:38,200
Speaker 4: Don't be so bossy. You gotta kind of.

218
00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:39,720
Speaker 2: Save that for the boardroom.

219
00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:40,360
Speaker 1: In the bedroom.

220
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:41,880
Speaker 2: You need to take right.

221
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,000
Speaker 1: She made a total point, like you need to let

222
00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:47,480
Speaker 1: him be the man. And that's a hard thing to hear.

223
00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:49,200
Speaker 3: I leave when I dance.

224
00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:50,040
Speaker 2: Are you kidding?

225
00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:52,920
Speaker 1: I got it?

226
00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:54,880
Speaker 2: I was standing on the bell. We did like eight

227
00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:55,640
Speaker 2: count of eight.

228
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:58,600
Speaker 3: He goes, wait a minute, I lead Susan always, No.

229
00:10:58,840 --> 00:10:59,760
Speaker 2: That's the weirdest.

230
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:03,840
Speaker 6: Women were built to be strong and take care of ourselves.

231
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:08,680
Speaker 3: There are men so intimidated, j there are We've got

232
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:09,520
Speaker 3: a man in the house.

233
00:11:09,679 --> 00:11:13,199
Speaker 4: Well, that's tough for me to answer, because I'm with

234
00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:18,440
Speaker 4: this one. This is the strongest, most stubborn, bullheaded, selfish, arrogant.

235
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:26,040
Speaker 4: This don't this is who I'm with. I mean, So

236
00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:30,079
Speaker 4: it's tough to You have to be friends first, Well

237
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,959
Speaker 4: you have to, but you have to have some kind

238
00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:36,400
Speaker 4: of confidence in yourself to be with a woman as

239
00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:37,000
Speaker 4: strong as you.

240
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:40,280
Speaker 2: You you and you you have to So where are

241
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:42,240
Speaker 2: they all? What rock are they hiding under?

242
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:43,880
Speaker 3: What would you change about us?

243
00:11:44,559 --> 00:11:45,400
Speaker 2: We don't have enough time.

244
00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:48,839
Speaker 4: Oh absolutely, see that's the thing. And it almost breaks

245
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:50,920
Speaker 4: my heart because we have plenty of conversations on our

246
00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:53,719
Speaker 4: show about it with different women about like trying to

247
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:57,760
Speaker 4: alter or change anything about who you are to make

248
00:11:57,960 --> 00:12:00,440
Speaker 4: this guy feel better about himself. So that he can

249
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,800
Speaker 4: then ask you out, and it's just too much of

250
00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:05,880
Speaker 4: a game. And we're too we're grown, we're adults at

251
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:06,160
Speaker 4: this point.

252
00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:09,720
Speaker 3: One thing I learned that this is something I practice

253
00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:12,840
Speaker 3: when you're in the restaurant. You don't talk to the waiter.

254
00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:15,599
Speaker 3: You let him talk. That's like a chore for me.

255
00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:18,199
Speaker 3: It's like I got something to say, but I have

256
00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:20,120
Speaker 3: to let the man take the lead.

257
00:12:20,559 --> 00:12:21,560
Speaker 2: That was difficult.

258
00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:24,640
Speaker 3: I have to let the man take the lead.

259
00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:29,000
Speaker 4: That's still a thing. Is that register with you at already? Don't?

260
00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:29,680
Speaker 4: I don't.

261
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,280
Speaker 6: I don't know. That feels so weird.

262
00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:36,000
Speaker 5: But maybe that's a generationally maybe older men feel differently

263
00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:36,319
Speaker 5: about that.

264
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:37,600
Speaker 1: But oh yeah, that's a good point.

265
00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:40,679
Speaker 5: My husband would never be offended if I took the

266
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:44,840
Speaker 5: leader you know he has. He doesn't get threatened by

267
00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:45,720
Speaker 5: my strength.

268
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,079
Speaker 3: I think you need Boddy should.

269
00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:06,000
Speaker 2: This is from Hannah Almer, I believe it's her name.

270
00:13:06,559 --> 00:13:10,040
Speaker 2: What is a good way? And by the way, Hannah,

271
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:12,000
Speaker 2: if you know the answer or interview in this room,

272
00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:14,680
Speaker 2: tell me what is a good way to start dating

273
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:18,760
Speaker 2: again after a long period of not wanting to date?

274
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:20,120
Speaker 2: Any good advice on that?

275
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:21,920
Speaker 3: Somebody to ask me?

276
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:23,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's called.

277
00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:27,080
Speaker 3: I heard about the d MS.

278
00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:30,360
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's the other thing we talk about sliding

279
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:35,120
Speaker 2: into our dates are frozen over. No, there's no sliding.

280
00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:38,320
Speaker 2: Maybe there's a lock box, guys.

281
00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:38,679
Speaker 4: We don't know.

282
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,400
Speaker 2: We tried that too. That does do that.

283
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:52,640
Speaker 4: What is the advice anybody good way to start dating again? Yeah,

284
00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:53,840
Speaker 4: for somebody who hasn't been.

285
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:55,640
Speaker 6: I guess listen to your instincts.

286
00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:57,760
Speaker 5: If you've been, if you've taken some time and you've

287
00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:00,960
Speaker 5: done some work on yourself, you found that why place

288
00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:04,200
Speaker 5: to know who you are and find your strength as

289
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:08,040
Speaker 5: a woman, Then listen to those instincts because they're not

290
00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:09,880
Speaker 5: going to take you to the wrong place.

291
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,040
Speaker 2: Can I just tell you everyone told me to go

292
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,559
Speaker 2: to golf courses because that's where single men are. I

293
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,440
Speaker 2: have pitched a tent for the last two months at

294
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,760
Speaker 2: a local golf course. I haven't met one guy yet.

295
00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,160
Speaker 3: I mean a lot of them on the golf course.

296
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:26,680
Speaker 3: They're laughing, but they're all married, like married. I have

297
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:31,240
Speaker 3: another anonymous question, Should we be more open to dating

298
00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:32,640
Speaker 3: people long distance?

299
00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:38,440
Speaker 1: I think I think that's tough. Especially I feel like

300
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:41,160
Speaker 1: even at my age, it would just feel like a

301
00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:45,760
Speaker 1: time suck, Like why would I be wasting time? Travel? Like?

302
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:47,120
Speaker 2: It depends on what you want.

303
00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:49,120
Speaker 1: I mean, if you want a companion to see and

304
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:51,680
Speaker 1: to be around and detext and to have fun. But

305
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:54,000
Speaker 1: if you really want a partner who you're with day

306
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:56,480
Speaker 1: in and day out, that's not you're just wasting time.

307
00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:00,720
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, But what if the person you're madly in

308
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,880
Speaker 5: love with it's a job and has to go somewhere else.

309
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:05,560
Speaker 2: Oh that's different then, and you can't go with him?

310
00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:06,760
Speaker 6: Like, how do you do that?

311
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,400
Speaker 2: Kind of why can't you go with him?

312
00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:12,480
Speaker 4: That was my difference. It's a different Are we established

313
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:15,240
Speaker 4: as a couple before we have to move across country

314
00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:15,640
Speaker 4: from each other?

315
00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:15,880
Speaker 1: Oh?

316
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:16,680
Speaker 6: Do you consider?

317
00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:19,840
Speaker 4: Oh? Yeah, that's I consider that. If we're already establishing,

318
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:23,000
Speaker 4: we're good to go. That's one thing versus starting initially

319
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:25,320
Speaker 4: having to kind of get to know somebody in a

320
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:26,320
Speaker 4: two hour flight away.

321
00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:29,080
Speaker 3: Well, what's happening for the last couple of years around

322
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,480
Speaker 3: here is zero? I'm open to.

323
00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:34,880
Speaker 2: Can I just say? Ben Higgins, who we all know

324
00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:37,720
Speaker 2: and love. We had him on our podcast and he

325
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:41,920
Speaker 2: talked about when he met his now wife that they

326
00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:45,240
Speaker 2: always every time they met because they lived in different cities,

327
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:49,120
Speaker 2: it was in Denver. She was in Nashville when they met.

328
00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:52,960
Speaker 2: They would plan to see each other before they met.

329
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:56,720
Speaker 2: They would already have the next time plan and they

330
00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:59,880
Speaker 2: would never be cry or sad. It would always be they.

331
00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:04,360
Speaker 2: I mean, and and you know it worked for them.

332
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,520
Speaker 2: I think it's possible. I think it's difficult, but I

333
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:07,360
Speaker 2: think it's possible.

334
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,280
Speaker 5: I mean, what's long distance Europe. That would be across

335
00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:14,320
Speaker 5: the country. I think, you know, I've definitely that was

336
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:17,720
Speaker 5: hard for my marriage. I know I didn't foresee that

337
00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:20,360
Speaker 5: visit in New York l A thing. Yeah, like across

338
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:21,960
Speaker 5: the country sometimes on location.

339
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:26,000
Speaker 2: Again, though you had young children, right, Jenny, three little girls,

340
00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:29,080
Speaker 2: it was a big deal. We could do it, Susan,

341
00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:32,360
Speaker 2: I do New York l A. I would do it.

342
00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:33,280
Speaker 2: I would do it.

343
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:36,760
Speaker 6: I think once the kids come into the situation, we're

344
00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:37,480
Speaker 6: beyond kids.

345
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:37,920
Speaker 2: We're good.

346
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,600
Speaker 6: That's the that's the beauty of it.

347
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,760
Speaker 4: Jenny and yours, how long were you all not seeing

348
00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:43,840
Speaker 4: each other? How long would you go without seeing your

349
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:44,960
Speaker 4: husband at the.

350
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:49,440
Speaker 5: Time, Well, a shoot would be like at least four weeks.

351
00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:53,960
Speaker 5: But he was really good about trying to get back

352
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,840
Speaker 5: to the kids every week. He really did go back

353
00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:59,240
Speaker 5: and forth a lot because it was easier for him

354
00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:00,920
Speaker 5: to go back and forth, you know, and then it

355
00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:02,040
Speaker 5: was for me to take the girls.

356
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:06,359
Speaker 3: But you know, we absence makes the heart grow fonder,

357
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:09,000
Speaker 3: like you miss him, and when you did see each

358
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:10,400
Speaker 3: other it was even more exciting.

359
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:10,960
Speaker 4: Or was it.

360
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,639
Speaker 6: I would say it was a mix of both that

361
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:18,840
Speaker 6: and the total opposite of that. Mm hmm.

362
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:23,000
Speaker 2: Listen, Susan, we cannot complain if we get dates in

363
00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:25,159
Speaker 2: la you know, damn right, while you and I are

364
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,960
Speaker 2: going back and forth, let's just cut to the church.

365
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:29,240
Speaker 2: There's for you. Tom.

366
00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:32,160
Speaker 3: I'm in Philadelphia, Texas.

367
00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:33,920
Speaker 4: Okay, but I'm ready to move.

368
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:35,040
Speaker 1: Okay.

369
00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:36,360
Speaker 6: They're international.

370
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:37,200
Speaker 4: I like that.

371
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:42,440
Speaker 2: I have listen. I have two grandchildren and two kids

372
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:45,200
Speaker 2: live in Austin, and I love my family and I

373
00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:47,640
Speaker 2: love my grandkids. That's what plans are for. I would

374
00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:49,800
Speaker 2: go back and forth. I hear you. I could do that.

375
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:51,320
Speaker 1: It is one of those school things now that I'm

376
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:54,280
Speaker 1: an empty nester, like the idea that like I can live.

377
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,800
Speaker 6: This is a good one. Actually, what do you value

378
00:17:58,920 --> 00:17:59,320
Speaker 6: the most?

379
00:17:59,520 --> 00:17:59,920
Speaker 2: Confident?

380
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:01,920
Speaker 6: Humor, attractiveness?

381
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,480
Speaker 1: This is say them again.

382
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:07,879
Speaker 3: I guess what my to you?

383
00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:17,120
Speaker 5: Confidence a sense of humor or attractiveness, the above.

384
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:21,000
Speaker 6: The most important.

385
00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:27,760
Speaker 3: I like to say attractiveness. It's what I'm attracted to.

386
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:32,400
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, being good looking it's like being attractive.

387
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:34,680
Speaker 2: So let's say attractive. I would say attractive is number

388
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:36,840
Speaker 2: one because it's an umbrella for so many things.

389
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:39,840
Speaker 6: But I like to laugh, you guys.

390
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,719
Speaker 2: Number number two.

391
00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:44,760
Speaker 3: You can't make me laugh.

392
00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:47,160
Speaker 2: I don't even want attracted.

393
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:49,760
Speaker 1: Agreed, and that is like the huge thing he and I.

394
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,639
Speaker 1: I have never laughed along with the human in my life.

395
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:56,080
Speaker 4: And confidence number three.

396
00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:56,840
Speaker 1: I mean.

397
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:02,359
Speaker 2: You can make actually agree you were in. Confidence is

398
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:07,720
Speaker 2: absolutely the umbrella attract if you weren't the other two.

399
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:10,959
Speaker 6: If a guy is medium, more strong, they can make

400
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:12,800
Speaker 6: me laugh. He has confidence.

401
00:19:14,359 --> 00:19:16,040
Speaker 1: You can't be funny and not be smart, and.

402
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:22,399
Speaker 2: So being attractive. Let me just sum this up. Let

403
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:26,080
Speaker 2: me rank them all for you, Okay, Attractive is number one, two, three, four,

404
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:30,639
Speaker 2: and five because under attractive comes attractive, good looking, smart,

405
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:35,280
Speaker 2: intelligent sense of humor, compassionate, good sense of humor, covering.

406
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:42,160
Speaker 3: Anybody out there, six one zero, and and the house

407
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:43,119
Speaker 3: on Martha's vendered.

408
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:51,359
Speaker 4: What about a confident guy who has no sense of UNI's.

409
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:58,440
Speaker 2: A really funny guy who is just an idiot. Okay, next, good, good,

410
00:19:58,640 --> 00:19:59,959
Speaker 2: good job trying to sit that one.

411
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:00,320
Speaker 1: Okay.

412
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:05,639
Speaker 4: Do you think people come into your life randomly or

413
00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:08,480
Speaker 4: do you think it's the universe? Are you all universe?

414
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:09,320
Speaker 6: A universe?

415
00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:14,159
Speaker 3: Universe? I've been practiced where I am right now right,

416
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:15,200
Speaker 3: I think it's universe.

417
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:18,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, universe, absolutely.

418
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:20,800
Speaker 3: I just don't have a vision board. I think I

419
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,520
Speaker 3: need a vision board and put the man on.

420
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,399
Speaker 6: There's what you got in your head, you need to

421
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:26,119
Speaker 6: get out.

422
00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:26,679
Speaker 2: On a board.

423
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:29,399
Speaker 1: I believe the reason season lifetime, I really do. I

424
00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:31,680
Speaker 1: think people can believe people come into your life for

425
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,280
Speaker 1: a reason for a season all.

426
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,040
Speaker 2: The time, all of us, I say, for all the time.

427
00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:38,679
Speaker 2: People come into your life for a reason in a season,

428
00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:42,520
Speaker 2: and the season might be a lifetime, but it's not random.

429
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:46,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree around A lot of randoms have.

430
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,240
Speaker 2: Come into my life. But that's a whole other conversation.

431
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:51,920
Speaker 4: I have come around to that thinking. I am sitting

432
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:54,560
Speaker 4: here in a room with you full of women, full

433
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,800
Speaker 4: of woman having a good glasses of wine.

434
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:01,320
Speaker 2: Myss is empty college football game on having.

435
00:21:01,119 --> 00:21:03,399
Speaker 4: A good time with you all, And the only reason

436
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:06,720
Speaker 4: I'm here is because everything had to go exactly the

437
00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:09,200
Speaker 4: way it went, and I'm happy where I am. So

438
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:11,960
Speaker 4: that's why I regret is such a difficult word. I

439
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,320
Speaker 4: would like to say that I'm happy where I am

440
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,560
Speaker 4: the I've come around bridge.

441
00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:22,600
Speaker 2: This guy is a walking Hallmark No, no, but.

442
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:25,040
Speaker 1: I think I love watching Hallmark movies.

443
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:27,640
Speaker 2: By the way, the best try ever.

444
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:29,760
Speaker 1: God, we will sit there and laugh.

445
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:30,320
Speaker 3: We laugh.

446
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,359
Speaker 2: And so how many times you've been married?

447
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:34,160
Speaker 4: Too?

448
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:36,800
Speaker 2: Okay, let's just say three and chill be number three?

449
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:39,960
Speaker 2: Can I be number four? We stopped?

450
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:41,960
Speaker 3: But three we stopped three?

451
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:46,639
Speaker 4: Look at this, Kathy.

452
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,199
Speaker 3: We have a long night ahead of us with this right,

453
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:50,240
Speaker 3: flow your paste.

454
00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:55,040
Speaker 1: Seriously, this is an interesting question. Do people think rejection

455
00:21:56,119 --> 00:21:57,240
Speaker 1: is better than regret?

456
00:21:58,040 --> 00:21:58,080
Speaker 2: No?

457
00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:01,160
Speaker 3: No, you should pick another one.

458
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:03,520
Speaker 2: That one doesn't even count.

459
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:06,240
Speaker 1: I mean, wait, it'd be better if somebody rejected you

460
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:10,480
Speaker 1: rather than you are staying with them and then you

461
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:13,920
Speaker 1: regretting being with them. Would you rather be rejected than

462
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:16,440
Speaker 1: have time? I guess if you look at it from

463
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:19,240
Speaker 1: that perspective, I guess what your mom said, better to

464
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:22,120
Speaker 1: know in five months than in five years. So if

465
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:24,000
Speaker 1: someone had to reject you for you to know, it

466
00:22:24,119 --> 00:22:28,440
Speaker 1: wasn't right versus waiting and wasting years and then regretting it.

467
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:31,400
Speaker 4: I mean, I'm too many pills and understand what you said.

468
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:35,760
Speaker 6: I think I hear you like I would want to know.

469
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:39,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, as it's like ripping the band aid off. Rather

470
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:43,040
Speaker 1: feel the pain now than slowly stings.

471
00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:57,280
Speaker 2: But you heal. Yeah, If the man you're dating is

472
00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:01,760
Speaker 2: paying alimony to his ex wife, how are you supposed

473
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:05,880
Speaker 2: to plan your future? Do you need to hold off

474
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:09,880
Speaker 2: on pressuring him? Pressuring?

475
00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:10,520
Speaker 3: Pressuring?

476
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:14,520
Speaker 1: For you should never pressure a man to marry you ever, period.

477
00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:16,639
Speaker 2: Do not.

478
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:19,639
Speaker 3: She's pressuring him about.

479
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:23,639
Speaker 2: The ag him to get in a relationship, but he

480
00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:24,679
Speaker 2: has to pay alimony.

481
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:28,240
Speaker 1: She wants him to be focused on her and her finances.

482
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 2: Pay alimony to an ex wife. It doesn't sound payment.

483
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:35,080
Speaker 2: It is a it's a there's no emotion involved that

484
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:38,880
Speaker 2: in fact, and damn whens is alimony going to be over?

485
00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:42,879
Speaker 1: And the word pressuring should never be in a woman's vocabulary.

486
00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:45,879
Speaker 1: I don't think it's not going to end well. If

487
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:47,680
Speaker 1: you have to pressure a man to be with you,

488
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:48,480
Speaker 1: it's not.

489
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:51,880
Speaker 2: Going to do That's another thing we just learned pressure.

490
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:57,320
Speaker 6: I did that right to wait, But I don't even

491
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:58,919
Speaker 6: know what would pressure look like.

492
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:02,920
Speaker 2: When getting married when all you're doing is paying money

493
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:04,399
Speaker 2: to your ex wife everything?

494
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:05,480
Speaker 3: What about our future?

495
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:06,359
Speaker 2: What about our future?

496
00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:08,840
Speaker 1: When we have about where's my diamond ring?

497
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:11,840
Speaker 2: Where's where's my name ring? What about our house? You're

498
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,560
Speaker 2: paying so much money to Louise that you don't have

499
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:15,879
Speaker 2: enough money to focus on.

500
00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:17,160
Speaker 6: It does not sound much.

501
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:19,840
Speaker 2: It doesn't sound help me. I don't want to I

502
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:21,760
Speaker 2: don't want to be there. I don't want to run.

503
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:22,640
Speaker 2: I don't want to be there.

504
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:27,040
Speaker 3: Okay, another anonymous, I agree. When you're on round two?

505
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:31,359
Speaker 3: Is it okay to keep dating if you aren't sure

506
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:35,200
Speaker 3: there is a future? When do you have the what

507
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:35,680
Speaker 3: are we?

508
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:36,520
Speaker 2: Conversation?

509
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:38,159
Speaker 4: What are we?

510
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:38,720
Speaker 6: Conversed?

511
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:38,880
Speaker 1: Im?

512
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:40,240
Speaker 2: When you want to know?

513
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:44,080
Speaker 1: I think you have the conversation when you want to know, like,

514
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:45,119
Speaker 1: let's not play games?

515
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:45,880
Speaker 2: Is the question?

516
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:47,959
Speaker 1: When I want to know what we are, I'm going

517
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:49,400
Speaker 1: to ask what are we? Wait?

518
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:52,120
Speaker 2: Wait a minute, if you if you have to ask,

519
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,159
Speaker 2: I'm not saying this is true. If you have to

520
00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:58,000
Speaker 2: ask what are we? Does that say send a message?

521
00:24:58,040 --> 00:24:59,639
Speaker 1: No? I think that there. I Actually we had a

522
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:02,440
Speaker 1: converse and we talked about this. We remembered exactly where

523
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:04,720
Speaker 1: we were when we said what are we doing? And

524
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:08,120
Speaker 1: what are we and you know, yeah, what are we doing?

525
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,040
Speaker 1: Like we know how we feel, but what are we doing?

526
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:10,800
Speaker 3: Are we going from?

527
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:12,639
Speaker 1: And where are we going? And you know, I'm at

528
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:14,159
Speaker 1: a point in my life where if we're if I'm

529
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:17,080
Speaker 1: going to be with you, this is what I want

530
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:19,359
Speaker 1: and if you don't want the same thing, let's establish this.

531
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:21,879
Speaker 2: Now, what did you do the same thing?

532
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:23,720
Speaker 3: And that's very mature knowing yourself.

533
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:27,400
Speaker 1: You do a certain age and that's just that's where you're.

534
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:28,280
Speaker 2: At because of age.

535
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:32,640
Speaker 6: Mostly, Yeah, you've learned some things. You don't have time.

536
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:34,200
Speaker 6: You just don't have time to wait.

537
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:36,240
Speaker 2: Okay, what I want to know, did either of you

538
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:40,000
Speaker 2: have this conversation with did you guys? You did have it?

539
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:43,480
Speaker 6: Did you have tell me what conversation?

540
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:45,000
Speaker 2: Did you have the conversation with you?

541
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:47,159
Speaker 1: What are we are? We?

542
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 2: Did you have that conversation with your husband.

543
00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:52,480
Speaker 3: Or on the same page?

544
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:54,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't think a lot of times that happens.

545
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,600
Speaker 5: You just so, we did not wait very long. We

546
00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:59,560
Speaker 5: were it was a very fast and furious that was

547
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:05,360
Speaker 5: a way sham. Yeah, I'm very impulsive. So I think

548
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:09,119
Speaker 5: we you know, we learned about each other after we

549
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:13,280
Speaker 5: had already like jumped in, which might have been really hard.

550
00:26:13,359 --> 00:26:15,800
Speaker 2: I mean, people, how fast was if you don't mind

551
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:16,800
Speaker 2: my asking how fast?

552
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 3: Okay, that's so hard for me, she said, he is

553
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:20,760
Speaker 3: not the one.

554
00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:26,640
Speaker 2: I think we leave this dinner weeks later.

555
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:28,880
Speaker 3: I think we got engaged.

556
00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:32,440
Speaker 6: Three months later married. Yeah, nine months.

557
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:36,040
Speaker 2: Tonight, when we go out for dinner with these great folks,

558
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:37,880
Speaker 2: we're going to look at every guy and go, oh,

559
00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:38,840
Speaker 2: you want to get married.

560
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:44,800
Speaker 4: You were engaged to you after three months? Right, yeah?

561
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:47,440
Speaker 6: But the changed it.

562
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:51,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, I get it like the next d But

563
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:53,280
Speaker 4: you put that in our head because we're going out

564
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:54,199
Speaker 4: with him tonight. He's just.

565
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:03,520
Speaker 2: By the way your husband. I just met him. He's

566
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:07,560
Speaker 2: a very handsome man, think so very handsome.

567
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:10,200
Speaker 3: I went and hugged them and didn't shake any hand.

568
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 2: I'm a hugger. I don't think he knew what to do.

569
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:15,240
Speaker 2: It's like, who is this?

570
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:19,960
Speaker 3: He was very comfortable, Kathy. You know, his name is Dave.

571
00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:24,720
Speaker 6: He's Dave. He's very he's not going. He's kind of Dave.

572
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:25,720
Speaker 1: You know.

573
00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:27,760
Speaker 6: He's very easy going, easy to get along with.

574
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:30,240
Speaker 3: So all right, he got the book.

575
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:32,920
Speaker 2: Oh, Jesus got the long one. This stunt.

576
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:36,600
Speaker 6: Okay, this is we're going to go deep for a second. Okay,

577
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,879
Speaker 6: I think, Okay.

578
00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:43,720
Speaker 5: My big problem is I've been in domestic violence relationships

579
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 5: I told you, and I freak out and isolate myself

580
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:51,119
Speaker 5: when it comes to talking with guys. Now, I'm so

581
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:55,159
Speaker 5: afraid to get hurt or cheated on. I freeze up.

582
00:27:56,440 --> 00:28:00,400
Speaker 5: Can someone give me some advice on how to approach

583
00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:03,159
Speaker 5: men or some good opening lines.

584
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 4: We can't pretend to be experts. I mean, that's that's

585
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:13,600
Speaker 4: something going on there that I wouldn't ever get to

586
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:17,160
Speaker 4: work on yourself to understand, but I can from that perspective.

587
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:20,080
Speaker 4: My god, if you've been through that experience, would you

588
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:24,760
Speaker 4: ever open yourself up put yourself out there? So that's difficult,

589
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:27,280
Speaker 4: but the thing is you, that's what you almost have

590
00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:28,119
Speaker 4: to do.

591
00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:31,639
Speaker 3: You have a good opening line for a woman to

592
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:36,880
Speaker 3: say to a man. Hi, Hi, it's okay, it's about

593
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:39,320
Speaker 3: smiling about you.

594
00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:42,880
Speaker 4: Are I just I hate ever feeding somebody try this

595
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:46,200
Speaker 4: line or trying to do this thing. It's okay to

596
00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:48,680
Speaker 4: be you. And I don't know the age on that

597
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:51,680
Speaker 4: person either, but it's just that's heartbreaking to think you're

598
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 4: in a position why you just can't be yourself and

599
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:57,560
Speaker 4: can't be natural and always have a guard up. But

600
00:28:57,760 --> 00:28:58,880
Speaker 4: we can certainly understand why.

601
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:02,440
Speaker 1: And I think you know you TJ. You've I was

602
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:06,400
Speaker 1: actually kind of interested in something you told me. You said,

603
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 1: I don't know why women think that men want you

604
00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:13,520
Speaker 1: to play hard to get or men want you to

605
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:15,760
Speaker 1: play games, like men actually want to know that you

606
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:18,600
Speaker 1: like them. Men want to know that you're interested.

607
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:21,320
Speaker 3: In them, because they say, don't be available.

608
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:25,080
Speaker 1: Like TJ was like, be a straight shooter and like,

609
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:26,960
Speaker 1: and that's the kind of person you want to be with.

610
00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:29,680
Speaker 1: Someone who wants to know, who doesn't want to play games,

611
00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:32,720
Speaker 1: who doesn't want to like pretend to need to chase

612
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:35,240
Speaker 1: you like we're all especially if you've been through some

613
00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:39,080
Speaker 1: sh and it sounds like she certainly has. Shouldn't shouldn't

614
00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:42,600
Speaker 1: she want an adult, mature relationship And that involves starting

615
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:46,040
Speaker 1: at a place of realness and authenticity. And I think

616
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:48,440
Speaker 1: when you show someone who you are, if they don't

617
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:51,240
Speaker 1: want to be with you, good, then you know upfront,

618
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 1: like if you can just be yourself, I would just say, yeah,

619
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:57,360
Speaker 1: you have to be Willings. I know it's scary to be,

620
00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:00,880
Speaker 1: but to be yourself is that's the only way you're

621
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:02,720
Speaker 1: going to get an authentic love in return.

622
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:05,640
Speaker 3: Absolutely, And when you see a red flag, believe it's

623
00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:06,280
Speaker 3: a red flag.

624
00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:08,360
Speaker 1: When someone shows you who they are, yes.

625
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:09,160
Speaker 2: I believe them.

626
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:11,240
Speaker 4: Okay, we've been told we got time for one more?

627
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:15,400
Speaker 3: Is it you want to No, it's oh please, my love, gentlemen,

628
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 3: take it last one here?

629
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:23,320
Speaker 4: Wow? Okay, it says it's directed at me.

630
00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:27,800
Speaker 3: Actually, OHJ the best for last.

631
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:31,040
Speaker 4: Oh you are gonna love this. Is it acceptable to

632
00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:35,400
Speaker 4: set one of your guy friends up with more than

633
00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:40,680
Speaker 4: one of your female friends or is that in bad taste?

634
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:41,560
Speaker 4: Why don't.

635
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:45,600
Speaker 3: As long as you're honest about say. I don't know

636
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:48,000
Speaker 3: who's action was, but.

637
00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:52,800
Speaker 6: I guess you're right. Let's be realistic. I think it's

638
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:54,640
Speaker 6: okay for me.

639
00:30:56,560 --> 00:31:00,440
Speaker 2: I think when you read that, I have this visceral response,

640
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:05,880
Speaker 2: which is, if if TJ sets and I'm praying he does,

641
00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:10,320
Speaker 2: sets me up with someone he knows, I want at

642
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:14,360
Speaker 2: least have the opportunity to explore where our relationship could

643
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 2: go with his friend without feeling like it's a I'm

644
00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:19,880
Speaker 2: a meat part of a meat market, Like hey, I

645
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:22,800
Speaker 2: got ten girlfriends here, you know which I would want

646
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:26,600
Speaker 2: the opportunity, and then if if TJ's friends said, Kathy,

647
00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 2: it's been real, So you don't like the idea. I

648
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:31,040
Speaker 2: don't like that. I don't want to be I don't

649
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:34,800
Speaker 2: want to be considered one of a pack. I don't

650
00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:35,800
Speaker 2: want to I don't.

651
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:37,760
Speaker 3: I want just like going on the best it's like

652
00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:39,000
Speaker 3: going on a dating side.

653
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 2: I don't want to be shocked. If that makes sense.

654
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:44,120
Speaker 4: I think most guys would not do that out of

655
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:47,040
Speaker 4: respect for their friends. I think the female friends I

656
00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:48,920
Speaker 4: have now the guy friends I have, I would never

657
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:50,800
Speaker 4: start and mix.

658
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:54,240
Speaker 3: I would personally on your own without the women know

659
00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:57,040
Speaker 3: and give him an option, show them both, talk about

660
00:31:57,080 --> 00:31:59,000
Speaker 3: both people that you'd like them to meet.

661
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:01,000
Speaker 2: And let him make that sick one at a time.

662
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:03,840
Speaker 3: Right, I'm not saying fix them up with both.

663
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:04,640
Speaker 2: Let him that's what.

664
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 3: Then he makes that.

665
00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:11,120
Speaker 2: So TJ dnswer is Kathy first, Susan second.

666
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 4: Every time I see you, I thought we saw a

667
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:16,520
Speaker 4: reckon overring about who who we know?

668
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:23,960
Speaker 3: Then they forget, but we're coming.

669
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:28,680
Speaker 1: I am no, And I do like what you said,

670
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:31,160
Speaker 1: because I think that no one wants to think they're

671
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:34,240
Speaker 1: being It's almost like an agent trying to push their clients,

672
00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:37,920
Speaker 1: like whoever you want. But I got several pig problem

673
00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:42,280
Speaker 1: with you, Like that feels icky like or something. Yeah. No,

674
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:45,160
Speaker 1: I appreciate the fact that you let one relationship see

675
00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:47,680
Speaker 1: if it works if it doesn't, and then and only

676
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:49,920
Speaker 1: then when you say, would you mind if and.

677
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,600
Speaker 2: You know what, I would hope that if you know,

678
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 2: if you if Dave fixed Susan or me up with someone,

679
00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:59,320
Speaker 2: I would hope that that friend would come to David say,

680
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:03,000
Speaker 2: you know, I really like Susan, but now I really

681
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:05,200
Speaker 2: like to meet Kathy. Susan wasn't all I thought you

682
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:05,480
Speaker 2: would be.

683
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:10,480
Speaker 3: But Kathy is notice how she named that the order

684
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:10,920
Speaker 3: of that way.

685
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:12,920
Speaker 2: I would if it were a good friend, I would

686
00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:16,000
Speaker 2: hope that person would come to you and say, being

687
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:18,240
Speaker 2: true to yourself for me and right and you know

688
00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:20,040
Speaker 2: she was great, but I don't think she's for me

689
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:23,320
Speaker 2: and there's nothing wrong. But I would feel better about

690
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:26,200
Speaker 2: that then, Susan, how is your date? I don't know

691
00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:28,960
Speaker 2: how is your date? What you talk about?

692
00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:29,280
Speaker 1: Kathy?

693
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:34,600
Speaker 2: What're you talk about? Really said that to you? He

694
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:37,160
Speaker 2: told me he doesn't, he doesn't. He told me he

695
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:40,120
Speaker 2: prefers petite brunettes. Oh yeah, we were, We were on

696
00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:40,640
Speaker 2: that show.

697
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:43,200
Speaker 3: But you know what, I love being with you guys

698
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:46,880
Speaker 3: doing this today. We got to schedule this more often.

699
00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:49,520
Speaker 4: You are to our listener. This is a true story.

700
00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:53,160
Speaker 4: The five of us are going out tonight together and

701
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:57,360
Speaker 4: I mean we're going out hard. We're not just doingtized.

702
00:33:57,400 --> 00:33:59,040
Speaker 4: Oh no, we got a long night ahead, so we

703
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 4: hopefully we can do it. Episode about that later. But

704
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:03,480
Speaker 4: keep your questions coming to us again. If you are

705
00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:05,479
Speaker 4: single and ready to find your person, or you want

706
00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:08,400
Speaker 4: to ask us more questions about love and dating and relationships,

707
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 4: this is what we want you to do. You can

708
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:13,680
Speaker 4: call us at one eight four four four I Do Pod.

709
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:17,239
Speaker 4: That's eight four four four four three six seven sixty three.

710
00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:21,359
Speaker 4: Email us I Do Pod at iHeartRadio dot com. That's

711
00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 4: I Do pod at ourheartradio dot com. We're on Instagram

712
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:29,480
Speaker 4: and TikTok at I Do Part two pod. Also, all

713
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:31,200
Speaker 4: this info will be in the show notes, and make

714
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 4: sure to rate and review the podcast. This is I

715
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:35,480
Speaker 4: Do Part two and iHeartRadio podcast.

716
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:39,800
Speaker 3: We're falling in Love is what if I open my

717
00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:44,279
Speaker 3: own dating service, like I could fix people up?

718
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:46,279
Speaker 2: What do you think Wait, I just want to finish

719
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:50,279
Speaker 2: what you said.

720
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:53,440
Speaker 4: We're here for love, yes, falling in love is the

721
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:57,080
Speaker 4: main of the name Jay.

722
00:34:58,840 --> 00:34:59,360
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.

723
00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:03,440
Speaker 4: All right, thank you all for listeners. Don't we're not

724
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:04,000
Speaker 4: doing yet.

725
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:08,319
Speaker 2: Wait, we're We're all right. We'll see what part three.

726
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:08,880
Speaker 2: We got this