Speaker 1: You've had a carpet burned as an adult, it's very easy.
Speaker 1: All you gotta do is catch yourself off some carpet
Speaker 1: and slip a little, and it's it's all the risks.
Speaker 1: Oh well, there are other ways. There are other ways. Yep,
Speaker 1: there are other ways. And we'll just say there are
Speaker 1: other ways there, there there are other there's really only
Speaker 1: one other way that I know. Hey, everybody, welcome to
Speaker 1: hold up. This is the show that is. It's really
Speaker 1: just two people arguing about things that don't really matter,
Speaker 1: but they mattered everyone, but not in a huge way.
Speaker 1: It's not gonna affect your life that much at all. Um.
Speaker 1: I'm Josh Johnson. I'm a writer for The Daily Show
Speaker 1: and I'm a co host of the podcast. I'm joined
Speaker 1: by Josday's Line Bridges of course, brother the other Daily Show.
Speaker 1: I'm a standup comedian. I love Jesus, and one of
Speaker 1: my favorite things to do is make Josh make the
Speaker 1: face he's making right now. Today we're gonna be talking
Speaker 1: your weenie me, weenie me, I've done nothing. I've done
Speaker 1: nothing today. I'm not a weighty at all. All right,
Speaker 1: I'm a chrome man. Okay, um, bis I Look, I'm
Speaker 1: not one. I am not a weenie. Okay, I'm just
Speaker 1: you remember that. Can you tell the streets, all right?
Speaker 1: When they talk about me in the streets, I am
Speaker 1: the whole dog, all right. I am not aweenie. Okay,
Speaker 1: thank you. We're not gonna be talking about the streets today.
Speaker 1: Today we're gonna be talking about the insides, all right.
Speaker 1: We're talking about carpet versus hardwood floors. It didn't sound
Speaker 1: that weird. I was talking about, not talking about the streets,
Speaker 1: talking about the insides. It didn't sound weird. When when
Speaker 1: you let it linger like that, it becomes weird. But
Speaker 1: if no, no, no, no, no no, if you would
Speaker 1: just go ahead and talk normal when it was normal,
Speaker 1: it wouldn't be weird, you know. But when you leave
Speaker 1: a silence in a room, it becomes weird. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: a hundred percent. Tell the people where you land on
Speaker 1: this debate of carpet versus hardwood. I'm gonna have to say,
Speaker 1: as someone whose hips and back have been suffering on
Speaker 1: his hard ass floors. Wow, since I left the Great
Speaker 1: State of Georgia because my mama's house at hardwood and carpet,
Speaker 1: and I love being upstairs. It wasn't upstairs hardwood. So
Speaker 1: many plays up. People are like, oh, carpets gross. Carpets
Speaker 1: not gross. If you clean it, you mean nasty, Okay, okay.
Speaker 1: Carpet is love is nice. It's soft, you know, and
Speaker 1: if you get the chance, you can shuffle your feet
Speaker 1: on it and and shock your brother or your mom
Speaker 1: um or every once in a while you can uh
Speaker 1: static electricity shock your cat, not on purpose or just
Speaker 1: going to pick up the cat you've been on the
Speaker 1: floor all day, or they shock you. That's interesting. A
Speaker 1: cat miracle came up and she went zoom and we
Speaker 1: were both very much caught off guard. Yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't cat looking at its pause being like more powers.
Speaker 1: There's a video of a cat or memory phone. Huh.
Speaker 1: It's you know, they stepped down and it goes back
Speaker 1: up and step down, back up, and at one point
Speaker 1: the cats like walking backwards looking at his paw prints,
Speaker 1: but then keep popping up and the cat just looks
Speaker 1: at his paw He's like step step step the fuck
Speaker 1: like he just looks at his hand, like, am I
Speaker 1: not doing what I was based at doing? Cats also
Speaker 1: have so much confidence that to see one be like
Speaker 1: is it me is particularly is particularly insane, where usually
Speaker 1: cats are like, no, I know better than water, all right,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go ahead and lick the back rather than
Speaker 1: dipping in some water and actually clean it. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: lick it until I feel like it's clean. That's the
Speaker 1: amount of confidence that cats have, right, So for a
Speaker 1: cat to look at its own Paul and be like,
Speaker 1: maybe it's me, No, I don't. That does not happen
Speaker 1: in nature. No, it's because there's no memory foam in nature.
Speaker 1: It's wild because even humans are like, I'm just supposed
Speaker 1: to bouncing this thing and then everything and I get
Speaker 1: up and it's not shaped like me. Wow. Okay, so
Speaker 1: I'm saying it's carpet is soft? Yeah yeah, yeah it
Speaker 1: hard would be fucking up psychotical. I love when he
Speaker 1: started a story like this as a boy back in
Speaker 1: the day who his girl was cheating and he found
Speaker 1: out from the bed brief Josh because the dude had
Speaker 1: just left when he got there, Josh. And it wasn't
Speaker 1: like a cartoon, It wasn't like a perfect imprint, but
Speaker 1: it was just like, you don't take up that much
Speaker 1: space on the bed, Josh, me shack shag rack a
Speaker 1: bidding to go. Johnson, I will tell you, oh fucking while,
Speaker 1: Josh Johnson, I can how does anyone I mean, it
Speaker 1: was it was one of those things too where I'm
Speaker 1: sure if he didn't think about it, it wasn't gonna
Speaker 1: it wasn't gonna like really occur to him. But because
Speaker 1: of the memory, fine, because of the memory foam. And
Speaker 1: once again, not some perfect imprint, not some head to
Speaker 1: toe foot you know, Looney Tune through a wall imprint,
Speaker 1: not kool aid Man through your not No, not kool
Speaker 1: aid Man in the mattress. I'm I'm saying it was
Speaker 1: just too big of an intention coming back up off
Speaker 1: the bed. So he knows who his shape is. He
Speaker 1: knows what his shape is, and then he thought that
Speaker 1: shape and said, oh, that's not that's not me. I
Speaker 1: just walked in. That's not my backside. Yeah. Also, how
Speaker 1: is there an invention if I haven't been here and
Speaker 1: that dude just left. But yeah, carpet is also. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you think carpets comfortable and everything. I'm with you, I'm
Speaker 1: with you. What I am against is carpet in a bathroom.
Speaker 1: That's a bad idea, that's wild and I've I've seen
Speaker 1: it a couple times just in even This is the
Speaker 1: wildest thing to me about about when people choose to
Speaker 1: put carpet in and they do it in a bathroom
Speaker 1: or they just do it in a place that doesn't
Speaker 1: make a lot of sense. One of the reasons that
Speaker 1: there's been a turn, there's been a turn this decade
Speaker 1: against carpet onto my side, onto the hardwood floor side
Speaker 1: of the argument is because cheap hotels, motels, Oh no,
Speaker 1: they've they've done carpet dirty, and they become a representative
Speaker 1: and unwanted representative of the carpet brand that this is
Speaker 1: just covering something up, that this is just dirty. Now, yeah,
Speaker 1: because they've done carpet dirty, meaning that if they've been
Speaker 1: inappropriate to carpet, is that when they're doing carpet, the
Speaker 1: carpet is dirty. The carpet's dirty, and it doesn't actually
Speaker 1: I don't even know what you would call it. Someone
Speaker 1: who actually does interior design would know what it is.
Speaker 1: But I've never seen in a motel a carpet that
Speaker 1: was flushed to the wall. It's either an inch short
Speaker 1: so you see what the real floor looks like, or
Speaker 1: it's like slightly riding up the wall in the corner
Speaker 1: where you be staying. This is where it was staying.
Speaker 1: This is where I'm staying. Now where you'd be staying.
Speaker 1: Come on, you know what you you know by literal struggle,
Speaker 1: I can't say. I mean, listen, I've been in a
Speaker 1: hotel where there was a band aid stuck to the wall.
Speaker 1: So I know you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, I know
Speaker 1: it's talking. I'm not gonna say that. I haven't lived
Speaker 1: this life. I haven't been in a smoking hotel room
Speaker 1: in Middle Tennessee. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna tell it to allow myself what a will say.
Speaker 1: I noticed that now cheaper hotels, one, it probably is
Speaker 1: easier to maintain. If you're a cheap ass hotel, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's probably easier to maintain not having carpet one. Spills
Speaker 1: are much easier to get in. Nothing's seeping down, Like
Speaker 1: I can I see the motivation. The hotels are always
Speaker 1: cold as shit and the floor is so slippery, Like
Speaker 1: I'm never in a situation where I'm like, I wanted
Speaker 1: to bust my ass today, Like I'm not that. I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know why, why I busted. My ass always
Speaker 1: seems to be the option, like I just can't live,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, because the floors are so slippery.
Speaker 1: It's like, Yeah, I've never wanted to meet Jesus like this.
Speaker 1: I wanted, you know, on my sleep but a Christian
Speaker 1: surrounded by my loved ones and one good enemy. Um.
Speaker 1: I that that would be funny to just be on
Speaker 1: your deathbed and look over at somebody and be like,
Speaker 1: see how many people love me? Be my friend, Lace,
Speaker 1: Lace Barrelui. She's an amazing comedian, she said. My sister.
Speaker 1: She always says that when she died, she wants to
Speaker 1: be on a funeral pire h pushed out like in
Speaker 1: the middle of Lake Lanier, and she wants one of
Speaker 1: her biggest enemies to roll out to this burning feed
Speaker 1: her pyre lights a cigarette off of her burden body,
Speaker 1: go bitch, and then roll back to shore. What kind
Speaker 1: of what kind of life do you have to be
Speaker 1: living to have the type of enemies with the upper
Speaker 1: body strength to roll out to the middle of a
Speaker 1: lake wild? Yeah, and not like not a leg that
Speaker 1: can get a little choppy if it catches some wind. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Lanier a death lake to start with. Ye already violating
Speaker 1: the law by burning a body on this lake. M right.
Speaker 1: But to have someone row out to your body light
Speaker 1: of fire, bitch, And then honestly, also, this person is
Speaker 1: your greatest enemy that have to agree to this. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: they have to hate you so much that they're like,
Speaker 1: that's a great idea. Yeah, Like you know what, bitch,
Speaker 1: I will come to your funeral. I'll bring my own oars.
Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, she deserves to die. I hope she
Speaker 1: burns a hell. Like that's that's what we're doing. My
Speaker 1: thing is, I'll pitch you this real quick, love a pitch,
Speaker 1: a love of pinch. I think that there's a stigma
Speaker 1: on hardwood floors that they are what make you really
Speaker 1: um bust ass and and crack skull and and um
Speaker 1: a bang knee. Right, But let's not forget that carpet
Speaker 1: is not innocent here. It's not some innocent bystander. It's
Speaker 1: not some some sweet catch y'all. Oh you fail, let
Speaker 1: me catch you on this soft carpet. No, it's not
Speaker 1: all that. It's not all it's cracked up to be.
Speaker 1: There's a dark side to carpet that y'all need to understand.
Speaker 1: It's called carpet. No, no, y'all don't act like you
Speaker 1: know though we are. All the carpet people that I
Speaker 1: know want to act like they've never slid and burned. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's been. First of all, I'm not a child, so
Speaker 1: I don't think i've had That's not true. You've had
Speaker 1: a carpet burned as an adult. It's very easy. All
Speaker 1: you gotta do is catch yourself off some carpet and
Speaker 1: slip a little, and it's it's all the risks. I oh, well,
Speaker 1: there are other ways. There are other ways. Yep, there
Speaker 1: are other ways. And we'll just say there are other ways.
Speaker 1: They're there, there are other there's really only one other
Speaker 1: way that I know, really only one other way that
Speaker 1: we will openly discussed. Yeah, there's really crazy, now that
Speaker 1: I think about it. There are really only two ways. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: And then riding down the stairs and you know you
Speaker 1: you're riding at you're riding down the stairs and you
Speaker 1: you know whatever, your medium for sliding goes out from
Speaker 1: underneath you. That's hid. That's the other way. That's the
Speaker 1: only other way for everyone way, yes, e for every
Speaker 1: one way to get carpet burns. On your knees. Now,
Speaker 1: I do feel like the other thing is you brought
Speaker 1: it up. There's a really great point the cleanliness and
Speaker 1: the ability to keep these floors clean. Now, with a carpet,
Speaker 1: you're gonna want to have not just a vacuum, but
Speaker 1: you're gonna have the right vacuum for the texture of
Speaker 1: carpet that you have. It's called the pile. The pile
Speaker 1: the height of your car. Really Okay, yeah, I did
Speaker 1: not know that a right so old vacuums. Remember that
Speaker 1: knob that used to be on the front of like
Speaker 1: those bags, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was for the pile.
Speaker 1: Because if you had, like say, you had a carpet
Speaker 1: that was just like a fade mmmmm, which is a
Speaker 1: very short like look cut fade m you would have
Speaker 1: town carpet mmmmm. Yeah, carpet would a lineup yeah with
Speaker 1: some madges, mages, carpets manages sidebar. Can we talk about
Speaker 1: the ineffectiveness of the carpet sweeper? Okay, Okay, I'm glad
Speaker 1: someone finally brought up. It took about twenty years, but
Speaker 1: finally someone has brought up something that's bothered me for decades.
Speaker 1: My tired childhood they would be like, they give you
Speaker 1: this thing, and I'm just the fuck is this for?
Speaker 1: Like the amount of times you went over one mm
Speaker 1: one thing? Yeah, one thing? The worst what you would
Speaker 1: see somebody in a restaurant using when you're like, ma'am, ma'am, man,
Speaker 1: it's not gonna work. That's not gonna work. You're gonna
Speaker 1: spend your whole shift, You're a whole shift trying to
Speaker 1: get them crumbs from underneath that type. You will have
Speaker 1: one strong tricep and one regular tricep. If you keep going,
Speaker 1: you're gonna be annoyed. You're gonna be You might as
Speaker 1: well just mop. That's very funny. You might as well
Speaker 1: mop the carpet for all the good that you're doing.
Speaker 1: The way that um a carpet needs special care and attention.
Speaker 1: If you're trying to keep it pristine, if you're trying
Speaker 1: to keep it like the day you bought it for years,
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to do a little bit more than
Speaker 1: just like, oh, I bought a dice in vacuum and
Speaker 1: you know, I guess we're good. You know. I remember
Speaker 1: one of the punishments as a kid, M was cleaning
Speaker 1: the half lean in the carpet and not being allowed
Speaker 1: to use the vacuum, like having to sweep carpet. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you ever just get punished with a puzzle. That's right.
Speaker 1: And the thing is, but the secret is sweeping carpet. M.
Speaker 1: It's swift. You can't like, you know, with the regular
Speaker 1: Like on a hardwood floor, you take a broom, you
Speaker 1: just slide across M. With a carpet, you really have
Speaker 1: to just do very quick motions M to get it
Speaker 1: all yeah, to get it all irritated and dusted up. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you get all dusted up. That's why they started. Like
Speaker 1: when Carpet Fresh came out, everybody's house smelled wild as
Speaker 1: hell because Carpet Fresh smelled like something you put down
Speaker 1: for a pet. Like it never smelled like, yeah, oh
Speaker 1: now my house smells like a meadow. No, it's oh
Speaker 1: you must have a dog. I also think that. So
Speaker 1: we you know, we've talked about potential injury. We've talked
Speaker 1: about cleanliness. Uh you know that hard wood wins that
Speaker 1: one easy for easy mop, easy swiffer, you know, um,
Speaker 1: but Swiftford now swiffer, we have to talk about swiftferd
Speaker 1: changed the game. It did. Yeah, I will say before
Speaker 1: so as someone who didn't grow up with a swiffer
Speaker 1: the whole time, right the swiffer came later, there was
Speaker 1: a true difference. That was one of the first products.
Speaker 1: The swiffer was one of the first products that was
Speaker 1: as easy to use as it actually looked in the commercial.
Speaker 1: A lot of those commercials like to make it look
Speaker 1: like they're making your life so much easier. The Swiffer
Speaker 1: really came through and was like, no, you know, you
Speaker 1: could just stand here. You got the whole thing. Just
Speaker 1: stand here and do it. That's the whole thing right there.
Speaker 1: And then it was like, okay, well here's basically it's like,
Speaker 1: here's a Clarks, here's a baby white before your floor
Speaker 1: right m. Also, and then when they got the Swiffer,
Speaker 1: wet jet, nigger, m you're telling me with just two
Speaker 1: double A batteries and some floor juice. I do feel
Speaker 1: like it changed my perspective on cleaning too, because it
Speaker 1: used to be when I had to sweep, I was like,
Speaker 1: all right, now, I gotta get a guy, get under
Speaker 1: the couch, got moved the couch, gotta sweep under here.
Speaker 1: What I mean, I'm not even gonna find any pennies.
Speaker 1: This is this is terrible. And then with the swiffer,
Speaker 1: the way it attracted the dust, yes, the way that
Speaker 1: it was like no, no, no, no, you've done enough.
Speaker 1: Let me put in some work. I got you. I
Speaker 1: want to touch on something now that I feel like
Speaker 1: is uh. It's not always considered because you know, ideally
Speaker 1: it's not gonna happen to you. But you know, you
Speaker 1: and I. We live in New York. I know you're
Speaker 1: blessed enough. I've been blessed enough to be in high floors,
Speaker 1: but not everybody has that. You know, there are people
Speaker 1: that live below us. There's people that live below other
Speaker 1: people all the time. What would you rather your upstairs
Speaker 1: neighbor have hardwood clanking and clanking and clanking and or carpet.
Speaker 1: I feel like this is one of the things where
Speaker 1: I have to concede a little bit where carpet. Carpet
Speaker 1: comes in over hardwood. Hardwood takes an l when it
Speaker 1: comes to neighbors, it really does. I am my other apartment.
Speaker 1: I had a neighbor as I was recording a car
Speaker 1: like Great North, and this person with vacuum every Friday.
Speaker 1: But I didn't know what they were vacuuming. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: we all had hardwood floors. Hmm, so what are you doing?
Speaker 1: A maybe within their hardwood, they have some spaces. Might
Speaker 1: those some of those woodpieces might have some spaces, like
Speaker 1: some extra gaps in the teeth. And they got a
Speaker 1: vacuumm out what I feel like. I was like, maybe
Speaker 1: they had rugs, because the thing is, there's nothing to
Speaker 1: stop you from running a vacuum over a hardwood floor.
Speaker 1: I have a roomba. A roomba. Also, a roomba is
Speaker 1: like if you gave puppies. It's like if you give
Speaker 1: a puppy or a kitten a job, it's a roomba
Speaker 1: mm hmm. Because they're like, oh, it maps your house. No,
Speaker 1: the fucking doesn't. It runs into walls, yeah, and then
Speaker 1: it runs in the wall until it runs out of power. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It sucks up your floorboards until it can't fucks them
Speaker 1: up no more. That's all. And it's like it's helpful
Speaker 1: because like, I don't have to clean my floor now,
Speaker 1: m LA, roomba is cleaning my floor. I get it.
Speaker 1: It's great, But girl, put the bottle down wrong. The
Speaker 1: way that you said put the bottle like, the way
Speaker 1: that all this came together really was a mystery to
Speaker 1: me until you because you went you you were saying
Speaker 1: something else and that you just out of nowhere to say, girl,
Speaker 1: put the bottle down. I was like, I was trying
Speaker 1: to not with you. I was trying to be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: maybe this is gonna be something. Yeah, yeah, being being
Speaker 1: a roomba really just slamming a vacuum into walls, just
Speaker 1: truly just really real stuntman energy. But I can't tell
Speaker 1: you that that roomba, that roomba has fucked up three
Speaker 1: of my pedicures. Oh because it ran over your foot
Speaker 1: a stuff, I mean, in the most distress. So does it?
Speaker 1: How does it work? Does it run into your foot fast?
Speaker 1: How does that work? There's a little bit of speed
Speaker 1: behind it. But it didn't just run into my foot.
Speaker 1: It ran over my foot. Damn. I don't even know
Speaker 1: they had that type of clearance. I did not either
Speaker 1: until it chipped, like I mean always it's always chipping
Speaker 1: a big toe or a baby job. I thought they
Speaker 1: were really just sucking floor. And so the fact the
Speaker 1: fact that it could go over that's terrifying. I think
Speaker 1: it's got an alter rain setting. What did you say
Speaker 1: an alterrain, so you think it has an alter so
Speaker 1: to clean to clean the outside too, got a four
Speaker 1: by four setting, so you would let it clean a mountain.
Speaker 1: I think that they have adapted it to where because
Speaker 1: it's like it has to be able to go up
Speaker 1: things because as we go up on the carpet go
Speaker 1: down to the floor, and I think it's going over stairs,
Speaker 1: but it has to deal with like probably different heights
Speaker 1: of things. Okay, so like fuck it, let's just put
Speaker 1: a four by four in this bitch. All right, what
Speaker 1: do you mean? I didn't say anything. I said, all right,
Speaker 1: how did it? If not? How if not? Me? When
Speaker 1: I feel like there's a huge amount of middle ground
Speaker 1: between you what you just proposed at what it's actually doing,
Speaker 1: the way that you're the way that you're being, Like,
Speaker 1: if it's not that, then what could it be? Is
Speaker 1: it is not correct to me? Are you a scientist?
Speaker 1: This is what? This is what happens You catch somebody
Speaker 1: in a wild projection and then they immediately turned on you.
Speaker 1: Are you an engineer? I'm just asking, nigger, are you
Speaker 1: a scientist? Okay? I want answer. We are? Yeah, But
Speaker 1: the fact that we both don't know doesn't mean one
Speaker 1: of us definitely knows. But you talking from a place
Speaker 1: so that you thought you might know. No, I'm talking
Speaker 1: from a place where that does sound right. You always
Speaker 1: do this to me. I always do what You always
Speaker 1: do this to me. You make you sound like that
Speaker 1: I'm saying the wild thing, making it sound like hock about,
Speaker 1: making it sound like yes, making it sound as if
Speaker 1: it is not wild that you said that under the rum,
Speaker 1: but is all terrade. I'm just saying, I don't know
Speaker 1: why to put a four by four nitch. I mean,
Speaker 1: there's truly no way to me, at least, no way
Speaker 1: that carpet comes out on top of hard wood. I
Speaker 1: think that hardwood has laid down a literal foundation for
Speaker 1: a beautiful and picturesque home. I think that carpet sometimes
Speaker 1: it's very easy for carpet to be ruined. Let's talk
Speaker 1: about ruined for a second. Let's talk about damage. Because
Speaker 1: you really got to burn hardwoods, you really out a
Speaker 1: smash hardwood. Girl I was friends with was having like
Speaker 1: a party at her parents' house and her little cousin
Speaker 1: m HM went in the den with a red drink, okay,
Speaker 1: and the carpet was like white like a light cream
Speaker 1: white color. Can we just say very brave, very brave,
Speaker 1: very brave of them, and all of us who were
Speaker 1: like young adults so like late twenties, early thirties, all
Speaker 1: went like, hey, hey, come back, come back, and then
Speaker 1: her mom was like, oh, he's fine, and we went,
Speaker 1: excuse me, I don't live there, this isn't my house.
Speaker 1: But I was like, oh, I said, they look like
Speaker 1: giving everybody flashbacks. We're not. We don't have to go
Speaker 1: on a full tangent. But the bravery, the hubrists, the hubris,
Speaker 1: the fucking, and then the thing we thought it was hubris,
Speaker 1: but then she was like, no, he's okay. We weren't. No,
Speaker 1: he's not. He can't be in there with that. And
Speaker 1: not only that, she was like, no, he's fine. And
Speaker 1: then my friend whose mom and whose house it was,
Speaker 1: she was like, you wouldn't never let me in there,
Speaker 1: and we were like, we wouldn't have been allowed. And
Speaker 1: so because we all refused, like there was older adults
Speaker 1: like parent age in there with food and drinks. Everybody
Speaker 1: was in the like the twenties and thirties would not
Speaker 1: go in the den unless somebody was like, We're like,
Speaker 1: are you sure. Are you sure? Are you sure it's
Speaker 1: okay for us to do this? Are you sure? Because
Speaker 1: of course they had like barbecue or something. We all
Speaker 1: refused to go in the living room because the other
Speaker 1: issue at played because we were traumatized. Yeah, that's the other.
Speaker 1: We were truly fucking traumatized. We could not even handle
Speaker 1: the idea. Imagine ruining a part of your house or
Speaker 1: someone else's. That's someone else's. That's the position the carpet
Speaker 1: can put you in. You can destroy a hardwood floor, Oh,
Speaker 1: it's much harder. There's nothing you can do to a
Speaker 1: hardwood floor that wouldn't also destroy a carpet floor. You
Speaker 1: can't scratch carpet, yeah, but you can make a tear.
Speaker 1: You can, But a tearing carpet is much easier to
Speaker 1: fix than a tearing hardwood. You can fuck up a
Speaker 1: hardwoo floor. You can gauge it, you can. You can
Speaker 1: stay in a hardwood floor, just like you can stay
Speaker 1: a carpet. It's easier to stay in a carpet than
Speaker 1: it is to stay in a hardwood floor. But it
Speaker 1: can be done. Now, I'll stay in for me in
Speaker 1: my house, I would prefer carpet, just because like in
Speaker 1: a hotel room. I understand not going to hard even
Speaker 1: though whenever I'm in a hotel room that doesn't have carpet,
Speaker 1: it's always I don't like that either. I don't understand
Speaker 1: what cheaper hotels like. If I was thinking at a
Speaker 1: cheap hotel, please have a hardwordfloor. Yeah, But if I'm
Speaker 1: staying at the London in La bro come on, give
Speaker 1: me some carpet, give me a nice luscious You're the
Speaker 1: wildest place I've ever seen carpet. I was the Jamie
Speaker 1: Foxx's house, okay, and this man had carpet outside that
Speaker 1: went almost right up to the pool. That is that
Speaker 1: is wild. I mean it's a brilliant thing though, because
Speaker 1: that means when you're getting out of the pool and
Speaker 1: you're you know, dripping on the floor, you're drying up
Speaker 1: as you're walking, right, So I'm sure specific indoor carpet.
Speaker 1: But the thing is it was the same color as
Speaker 1: the carpet from the house. M oh, so it really
Speaker 1: makes the pool feel like it's in the living room.
Speaker 1: I got you or you know, it's a continuous thing
Speaker 1: where you're like and it was the softest carpet I
Speaker 1: ever been in my life. I don't know if they
Speaker 1: put the foam underneath this outdoor carpet, but the steps
Speaker 1: down to the pool area and then around the pool area,
Speaker 1: it was like spongey sft, what they win? That's wild?
Speaker 1: It was nice, but I'm like, this is a I
Speaker 1: don't to attain those heights m because people are like,
Speaker 1: what's luxury? Okay, yeah, what's luxury? How do you know
Speaker 1: you've made it? Carpet, buy your pool, white carpet, buy
Speaker 1: your pool. Come on, dog, that's kind of life made
Speaker 1: people to live. Right before we go ahead and and
Speaker 1: and kick it over to the listener, I want to
Speaker 1: go over some of our pros and cons of each,
Speaker 1: because I feel like that would be the most fair.
Speaker 1: I feel like we both agreed that when it comes
Speaker 1: to noise from upstairs neighbors, they could be they could
Speaker 1: be noisy. But carpet has a clear advantage over hardwood.
Speaker 1: A dulls some of the bouncing, some of the walking,
Speaker 1: some of the dropping, you know, whereas a hardwood really
Speaker 1: echoes cleaning. Hardwood's gonna be much easier to clean because
Speaker 1: of squiffer, because of vacuums, because of brooms, and carpet
Speaker 1: has a bit more upkeep in the cleaning department. We
Speaker 1: talked about injuries and while injuries are gonna be more
Speaker 1: likely on our hardwood, don't think you can't get burned
Speaker 1: by carpet. It can happen. It can happen. We've all
Speaker 1: been burned by carpet. Don't get it twisted. And the
Speaker 1: last one is emotional. It is. It is an aesthetic thing.
Speaker 1: It's literally what do you feel like, accompanies your ensemble,
Speaker 1: the best your decore in the home appropriately and for
Speaker 1: me it's hardwood. But for you, I see that it's carpet.
Speaker 1: But we want to know from you the listener, what
Speaker 1: do you do? What, what would you rather if you
Speaker 1: don't have it? What do you like about what you have?
Speaker 1: And what do you think about what we said? Okay,
Speaker 1: you can let us know on any comment you can.
Speaker 1: You can obviously listen to the show. You can you know,
Speaker 1: let us know through daily show, through any hold up
Speaker 1: um uh posts that you see. We check, We check
Speaker 1: our comments and everything. So let us know. Hit us up,
Speaker 1: write us a review, leave us um five stars, and
Speaker 1: let us know how you feel about at least one
Speaker 1: of us being right. Yeah, it's I can say, this
Speaker 1: is the most salient argument we've had in a long
Speaker 1: conversation we've been in a long time. Yeah, ourselvesans of us, Yeah,
Speaker 1: kudos um. But also it's I think where this is
Speaker 1: one where you I'm very proud of you because usually
Speaker 1: get very attactful and oh okay, I get it. Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, no, no, no, okay, all right. As long
Speaker 1: as we've known each other, you're right. I V one,
Speaker 1: I V one that that gets that gets a little
Speaker 1: combative immediately, you know that comes that you sort of
Speaker 1: sideways and stuff. That's that's me. I'm not saying m
Speaker 1: hmm that I don't be saying stiff. Yeah. Just remember
Speaker 1: who called who aweenie at the top of the episode,
Speaker 1: talk about you proud of me? All right, okay, cool, cool,
Speaker 1: cool cool? Oh wait, is this what gaslighting is? Oh?
Speaker 1: I think yes, I smell gasoline. If you like any
Speaker 1: of my little anecdotes, you should check out The Josh
Speaker 1: Johnson Show. It's my other podcast. It also comes out
Speaker 1: every Thursday, where if you get your podcasts and do
Speaker 1: you have anything that you want to tell them before
Speaker 1: we go due. I enjoy The Josh Johnson's Show. Listen
Speaker 1: to my podcast. Hold up all right, Well, y'all have
Speaker 1: a great rest of the day at a wonderful weekend.
Speaker 1: We will catch you next time. See zee Zey sweeps swot.
Speaker 1: Hey everybody, it's Josh here. I'm gonna be doing stand
Speaker 1: up on the road as part of the Freshman Tour
Speaker 1: March tenth and eleventh. I'll be in Kansas City at
Speaker 1: the Kansas City Improv. You could get your tickets at
Speaker 1: Improv KC dot com or in the link that we provide.
Speaker 1: And then after that, I'm gonna be in Fort Collins
Speaker 1: at the Comedy four March thirty first and April first.
Speaker 1: It's not a joke. I'll really be there. You get
Speaker 1: your tickets in the link that we provide or by
Speaker 1: going to Comedy four Collins dot com and you can
Speaker 1: catch Dulse. You can catch me in tomorrow with your daddy,
Speaker 1: or I will be at the Grand Rappers Comedy Club
Speaker 1: February twenty third to the twenty fifth, last, Seattle March
Speaker 1: third to the fourth, and ann Arbor Comedy Showcase in
Speaker 1: ann Arbor, Michigan March nine to the eleventh. So make
Speaker 1: sure your mom is out holding your dad's hand, because
Speaker 1: I'm a problem m