WEBVTT - Carpet vs. Hardwood Floors 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:02.520 You've had a carpet burned as an adult, it's very easy. 0:00:02.800 --> 0:00:04.840 All you gotta do is catch yourself off some carpet 0:00:04.840 --> 0:00:07.400 and slip a little, and it's it's all the risks. 0:00:08.520 --> 0:00:13.039 Oh well, there are other ways. There are other ways. Yep, 0:00:13.840 --> 0:00:16.200 there are other ways. And we'll just say there are 0:00:16.200 --> 0:00:20.160 other ways there, there there are other there's really only 0:00:20.480 --> 0:00:31.560 one other way that I know. Hey, everybody, welcome to 0:00:31.600 --> 0:00:34.760 hold up. This is the show that is. It's really 0:00:34.800 --> 0:00:39.200 just two people arguing about things that don't really matter, 0:00:39.360 --> 0:00:42.319 but they mattered everyone, but not in a huge way. 0:00:42.320 --> 0:00:44.920 It's not gonna affect your life that much at all. Um. 0:00:44.960 --> 0:00:47.080 I'm Josh Johnson. I'm a writer for The Daily Show 0:00:47.080 --> 0:00:49.920 and I'm a co host of the podcast. I'm joined 0:00:49.960 --> 0:01:05.920 by Josday's Line Bridges of course, brother the other Daily Show. 0:01:06.840 --> 0:01:10.800 I'm a standup comedian. I love Jesus, and one of 0:01:10.840 --> 0:01:13.840 my favorite things to do is make Josh make the 0:01:13.959 --> 0:01:22.360 face he's making right now. Today we're gonna be talking 0:01:22.920 --> 0:01:27.200 your weenie me, weenie me, I've done nothing. I've done 0:01:27.200 --> 0:01:30.320 nothing today. I'm not a weighty at all. All right, 0:01:31.400 --> 0:01:40.800 I'm a chrome man. Okay, um, bis I Look, I'm 0:01:40.880 --> 0:01:45.040 not one. I am not a weenie. Okay, I'm just 0:01:45.200 --> 0:01:49.440 you remember that. Can you tell the streets, all right? 0:01:49.520 --> 0:01:53.840 When they talk about me in the streets, I am 0:01:53.880 --> 0:01:58.320 the whole dog, all right. I am not aweenie. Okay, 0:01:58.480 --> 0:02:01.120 thank you. We're not gonna be talking about the streets today. 0:02:01.160 --> 0:02:04.200 Today we're gonna be talking about the insides, all right. 0:02:04.440 --> 0:02:11.720 We're talking about carpet versus hardwood floors. It didn't sound 0:02:11.760 --> 0:02:14.240 that weird. I was talking about, not talking about the streets, 0:02:14.280 --> 0:02:17.639 talking about the insides. It didn't sound weird. When when 0:02:17.639 --> 0:02:19.720 you let it linger like that, it becomes weird. But 0:02:19.720 --> 0:02:24.440 if no, no, no, no, no no, if you would 0:02:24.480 --> 0:02:27.200 just go ahead and talk normal when it was normal, 0:02:27.280 --> 0:02:29.359 it wouldn't be weird, you know. But when you leave 0:02:29.400 --> 0:02:35.080 a silence in a room, it becomes weird. Oh yeah, 0:02:35.760 --> 0:02:41.440 a hundred percent. Tell the people where you land on 0:02:41.520 --> 0:02:45.919 this debate of carpet versus hardwood. I'm gonna have to say, 0:02:46.040 --> 0:02:53.359 as someone whose hips and back have been suffering on 0:02:53.400 --> 0:02:58.240 his hard ass floors. Wow, since I left the Great 0:02:58.320 --> 0:03:02.160 State of Georgia because my mama's house at hardwood and carpet, 0:03:02.320 --> 0:03:08.720 and I love being upstairs. It wasn't upstairs hardwood. So 0:03:08.800 --> 0:03:11.560 many plays up. People are like, oh, carpets gross. Carpets 0:03:11.560 --> 0:03:16.440 not gross. If you clean it, you mean nasty, Okay, okay. 0:03:16.960 --> 0:03:21.800 Carpet is love is nice. It's soft, you know, and 0:03:21.880 --> 0:03:24.080 if you get the chance, you can shuffle your feet 0:03:24.120 --> 0:03:27.720 on it and and shock your brother or your mom 0:03:28.000 --> 0:03:30.680 um or every once in a while you can uh 0:03:32.200 --> 0:03:36.480 static electricity shock your cat, not on purpose or just 0:03:36.520 --> 0:03:38.520 going to pick up the cat you've been on the 0:03:38.520 --> 0:03:42.640 floor all day, or they shock you. That's interesting. A 0:03:42.760 --> 0:03:44.640 cat miracle came up and she went zoom and we 0:03:44.640 --> 0:03:48.240 were both very much caught off guard. Yeah, yeah, I 0:03:48.280 --> 0:03:53.280 don't cat looking at its pause being like more powers. 0:03:56.000 --> 0:03:59.320 There's a video of a cat or memory phone. Huh. 0:04:00.000 --> 0:04:01.800 It's you know, they stepped down and it goes back 0:04:01.920 --> 0:04:03.920 up and step down, back up, and at one point 0:04:04.000 --> 0:04:06.760 the cats like walking backwards looking at his paw prints, 0:04:06.760 --> 0:04:09.200 but then keep popping up and the cat just looks 0:04:09.320 --> 0:04:14.960 at his paw He's like step step step the fuck 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:17.279 like he just looks at his hand, like, am I 0:04:17.400 --> 0:04:21.160 not doing what I was based at doing? Cats also 0:04:21.600 --> 0:04:25.200 have so much confidence that to see one be like 0:04:25.480 --> 0:04:33.640 is it me is particularly is particularly insane, where usually 0:04:33.760 --> 0:04:38.599 cats are like, no, I know better than water, all right, 0:04:40.080 --> 0:04:42.839 I'm gonna go ahead and lick the back rather than 0:04:42.920 --> 0:04:45.320 dipping in some water and actually clean it. I'm gonna 0:04:45.320 --> 0:04:47.760 lick it until I feel like it's clean. That's the 0:04:47.839 --> 0:04:50.479 amount of confidence that cats have, right, So for a 0:04:50.560 --> 0:04:52.440 cat to look at its own Paul and be like, 0:04:53.720 --> 0:04:57.360 maybe it's me, No, I don't. That does not happen 0:04:57.360 --> 0:05:01.800 in nature. No, it's because there's no memory foam in nature. 0:05:02.240 --> 0:05:05.480 It's wild because even humans are like, I'm just supposed 0:05:05.480 --> 0:05:08.760 to bouncing this thing and then everything and I get 0:05:08.880 --> 0:05:14.880 up and it's not shaped like me. Wow. Okay, so 0:05:14.920 --> 0:05:18.200 I'm saying it's carpet is soft? Yeah yeah, yeah it 0:05:18.360 --> 0:05:22.960 hard would be fucking up psychotical. I love when he 0:05:23.000 --> 0:05:26.080 started a story like this as a boy back in 0:05:26.160 --> 0:05:29.800 the day who his girl was cheating and he found 0:05:29.839 --> 0:05:34.640 out from the bed brief Josh because the dude had 0:05:34.720 --> 0:05:40.560 just left when he got there, Josh. And it wasn't 0:05:40.560 --> 0:05:42.839 like a cartoon, It wasn't like a perfect imprint, but 0:05:42.880 --> 0:05:45.360 it was just like, you don't take up that much 0:05:45.360 --> 0:05:50.320 space on the bed, Josh, me shack shag rack a 0:05:50.440 --> 0:06:03.360 bidding to go. Johnson, I will tell you, oh fucking while, 0:06:03.680 --> 0:06:09.240 Josh Johnson, I can how does anyone I mean, it 0:06:09.279 --> 0:06:11.080 was it was one of those things too where I'm 0:06:11.080 --> 0:06:15.080 sure if he didn't think about it, it wasn't gonna 0:06:15.200 --> 0:06:19.479 it wasn't gonna like really occur to him. But because 0:06:19.520 --> 0:06:22.359 of the memory, fine, because of the memory foam. And 0:06:22.480 --> 0:06:26.200 once again, not some perfect imprint, not some head to 0:06:26.240 --> 0:06:29.919 toe foot you know, Looney Tune through a wall imprint, 0:06:30.160 --> 0:06:33.880 not kool aid Man through your not No, not kool 0:06:33.920 --> 0:06:37.080 aid Man in the mattress. I'm I'm saying it was 0:06:37.200 --> 0:06:41.000 just too big of an intention coming back up off 0:06:41.040 --> 0:06:44.880 the bed. So he knows who his shape is. He 0:06:44.920 --> 0:06:46.680 knows what his shape is, and then he thought that 0:06:46.680 --> 0:06:49.200 shape and said, oh, that's not that's not me. I 0:06:49.279 --> 0:06:52.960 just walked in. That's not my backside. Yeah. Also, how 0:06:53.080 --> 0:06:57.520 is there an invention if I haven't been here and 0:06:57.640 --> 0:07:01.760 that dude just left. But yeah, carpet is also. Yeah, 0:07:01.920 --> 0:07:04.400 you think carpets comfortable and everything. I'm with you, I'm 0:07:04.400 --> 0:07:08.880 with you. What I am against is carpet in a bathroom. 0:07:09.520 --> 0:07:12.960 That's a bad idea, that's wild and I've I've seen 0:07:13.000 --> 0:07:17.200 it a couple times just in even This is the 0:07:17.240 --> 0:07:21.640 wildest thing to me about about when people choose to 0:07:21.680 --> 0:07:24.240 put carpet in and they do it in a bathroom 0:07:24.360 --> 0:07:26.000 or they just do it in a place that doesn't 0:07:26.040 --> 0:07:28.880 make a lot of sense. One of the reasons that 0:07:28.920 --> 0:07:32.800 there's been a turn, there's been a turn this decade 0:07:33.400 --> 0:07:38.320 against carpet onto my side, onto the hardwood floor side 0:07:38.320 --> 0:07:45.200 of the argument is because cheap hotels, motels, Oh no, 0:07:45.600 --> 0:07:49.280 they've they've done carpet dirty, and they become a representative 0:07:49.280 --> 0:07:54.080 and unwanted representative of the carpet brand that this is 0:07:54.120 --> 0:07:57.360 just covering something up, that this is just dirty. Now, yeah, 0:07:57.400 --> 0:08:00.520 because they've done carpet dirty, meaning that if they've been 0:08:00.520 --> 0:08:03.680 inappropriate to carpet, is that when they're doing carpet, the 0:08:03.800 --> 0:08:08.000 carpet is dirty. The carpet's dirty, and it doesn't actually 0:08:08.080 --> 0:08:09.520 I don't even know what you would call it. Someone 0:08:09.520 --> 0:08:13.600 who actually does interior design would know what it is. 0:08:13.840 --> 0:08:19.240 But I've never seen in a motel a carpet that 0:08:19.360 --> 0:08:22.520 was flushed to the wall. It's either an inch short 0:08:23.200 --> 0:08:26.119 so you see what the real floor looks like, or 0:08:26.240 --> 0:08:30.160 it's like slightly riding up the wall in the corner 0:08:30.800 --> 0:08:33.760 where you be staying. This is where it was staying. 0:08:34.040 --> 0:08:38.439 This is where I'm staying. Now where you'd be staying. 0:08:38.520 --> 0:08:42.200 Come on, you know what you you know by literal struggle, 0:08:44.840 --> 0:08:46.719 I can't say. I mean, listen, I've been in a 0:08:46.800 --> 0:08:50.520 hotel where there was a band aid stuck to the wall. 0:08:50.559 --> 0:08:52.840 So I know you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, I know 0:08:52.880 --> 0:08:55.800 it's talking. I'm not gonna say that. I haven't lived 0:08:56.040 --> 0:09:00.319 this life. I haven't been in a smoking hotel room 0:09:00.320 --> 0:09:03.480 in Middle Tennessee. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not 0:09:03.480 --> 0:09:06.559 gonna tell it to allow myself what a will say. 0:09:07.760 --> 0:09:12.559 I noticed that now cheaper hotels, one, it probably is 0:09:12.640 --> 0:09:17.319 easier to maintain. If you're a cheap ass hotel, Yeah, 0:09:18.160 --> 0:09:26.280 it's probably easier to maintain not having carpet one. Spills 0:09:26.280 --> 0:09:29.960 are much easier to get in. Nothing's seeping down, Like 0:09:30.080 --> 0:09:34.040 I can I see the motivation. The hotels are always 0:09:34.120 --> 0:09:40.880 cold as shit and the floor is so slippery, Like 0:09:40.920 --> 0:09:42.720 I'm never in a situation where I'm like, I wanted 0:09:42.720 --> 0:09:45.520 to bust my ass today, Like I'm not that. I don't. 0:09:47.800 --> 0:09:50.160 I don't know why, why I busted. My ass always 0:09:50.200 --> 0:09:54.600 seems to be the option, like I just can't live, 0:09:54.800 --> 0:09:58.240 you know what I mean, because the floors are so slippery. 0:09:58.320 --> 0:10:01.480 It's like, Yeah, I've never wanted to meet Jesus like this. 0:10:01.559 --> 0:10:03.440 I wanted, you know, on my sleep but a Christian 0:10:03.920 --> 0:10:08.080 surrounded by my loved ones and one good enemy. Um. 0:10:08.160 --> 0:10:11.280 I that that would be funny to just be on 0:10:11.320 --> 0:10:13.400 your deathbed and look over at somebody and be like, 0:10:13.520 --> 0:10:19.760 see how many people love me? Be my friend, Lace, 0:10:19.880 --> 0:10:22.400 Lace Barrelui. She's an amazing comedian, she said. My sister. 0:10:22.880 --> 0:10:25.319 She always says that when she died, she wants to 0:10:25.320 --> 0:10:28.920 be on a funeral pire h pushed out like in 0:10:28.960 --> 0:10:30.960 the middle of Lake Lanier, and she wants one of 0:10:30.960 --> 0:10:35.240 her biggest enemies to roll out to this burning feed 0:10:35.280 --> 0:10:40.120 her pyre lights a cigarette off of her burden body, 0:10:40.200 --> 0:10:47.880 go bitch, and then roll back to shore. What kind 0:10:47.920 --> 0:10:49.560 of what kind of life do you have to be 0:10:49.600 --> 0:10:53.480 living to have the type of enemies with the upper 0:10:53.520 --> 0:10:59.280 body strength to roll out to the middle of a 0:10:59.360 --> 0:11:05.240 lake wild? Yeah, and not like not a leg that 0:11:05.400 --> 0:11:08.880 can get a little choppy if it catches some wind. Yeah, 0:11:09.080 --> 0:11:13.360 Lanier a death lake to start with. Ye already violating 0:11:13.360 --> 0:11:17.000 the law by burning a body on this lake. M right. 0:11:18.240 --> 0:11:21.640 But to have someone row out to your body light 0:11:21.679 --> 0:11:27.000 of fire, bitch, And then honestly, also, this person is 0:11:27.000 --> 0:11:30.680 your greatest enemy that have to agree to this. Yeah, yeah, 0:11:30.760 --> 0:11:32.560 they have to hate you so much that they're like, 0:11:32.679 --> 0:11:35.760 that's a great idea. Yeah, Like you know what, bitch, 0:11:35.800 --> 0:11:39.920 I will come to your funeral. I'll bring my own oars. 0:11:41.320 --> 0:11:42.960 It's like, yeah, she deserves to die. I hope she 0:11:43.000 --> 0:11:47.560 burns a hell. Like that's that's what we're doing. My 0:11:47.679 --> 0:11:51.959 thing is, I'll pitch you this real quick, love a pitch, 0:11:52.200 --> 0:11:55.360 a love of pinch. I think that there's a stigma 0:11:55.559 --> 0:11:59.680 on hardwood floors that they are what make you really 0:12:00.640 --> 0:12:06.600 um bust ass and and crack skull and and um 0:12:07.240 --> 0:12:13.079 a bang knee. Right, But let's not forget that carpet 0:12:13.160 --> 0:12:16.120 is not innocent here. It's not some innocent bystander. It's 0:12:16.120 --> 0:12:19.079 not some some sweet catch y'all. Oh you fail, let 0:12:19.080 --> 0:12:21.480 me catch you on this soft carpet. No, it's not 0:12:21.600 --> 0:12:23.800 all that. It's not all it's cracked up to be. 0:12:24.000 --> 0:12:26.840 There's a dark side to carpet that y'all need to understand. 0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:31.760 It's called carpet. No, no, y'all don't act like you 0:12:31.840 --> 0:12:33.880 know though we are. All the carpet people that I 0:12:33.960 --> 0:12:38.080 know want to act like they've never slid and burned. Okay, 0:12:38.120 --> 0:12:42.880 it's been. First of all, I'm not a child, so 0:12:42.920 --> 0:12:45.920 I don't think i've had That's not true. You've had 0:12:45.960 --> 0:12:48.400 a carpet burned as an adult. It's very easy. All 0:12:48.440 --> 0:12:50.280 you gotta do is catch yourself off some carpet and 0:12:50.360 --> 0:12:55.160 slip a little, and it's it's all the risks. I oh, well, 0:12:55.640 --> 0:12:59.360 there are other ways. There are other ways. Yep, there 0:12:59.400 --> 0:13:02.079 are other ways. And we'll just say there are other ways. 0:13:02.760 --> 0:13:06.280 They're there, there are other there's really only one other 0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:15.640 way that I know, really only one other way that 0:13:15.640 --> 0:13:19.760 we will openly discussed. Yeah, there's really crazy, now that 0:13:19.760 --> 0:13:25.760 I think about it. There are really only two ways. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0:13:25.880 --> 0:13:29.800 And then riding down the stairs and you know you 0:13:29.800 --> 0:13:32.040 you're riding at you're riding down the stairs and you 0:13:32.040 --> 0:13:34.280 you know whatever, your medium for sliding goes out from 0:13:34.320 --> 0:13:38.200 underneath you. That's hid. That's the other way. That's the 0:13:38.240 --> 0:13:43.080 only other way for everyone way, yes, e for every 0:13:43.120 --> 0:13:47.559 one way to get carpet burns. On your knees. Now, 0:13:48.000 --> 0:13:52.800 I do feel like the other thing is you brought 0:13:52.880 --> 0:13:56.480 it up. There's a really great point the cleanliness and 0:13:56.520 --> 0:14:00.960 the ability to keep these floors clean. Now, with a carpet, 0:14:01.000 --> 0:14:03.199 you're gonna want to have not just a vacuum, but 0:14:03.200 --> 0:14:06.280 you're gonna have the right vacuum for the texture of 0:14:06.320 --> 0:14:10.360 carpet that you have. It's called the pile. The pile 0:14:10.840 --> 0:14:14.079 the height of your car. Really Okay, yeah, I did 0:14:14.120 --> 0:14:17.920 not know that a right so old vacuums. Remember that 0:14:18.000 --> 0:14:19.560 knob that used to be on the front of like 0:14:19.560 --> 0:14:23.040 those bags, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was for the pile. 0:14:23.200 --> 0:14:26.360 Because if you had, like say, you had a carpet 0:14:26.360 --> 0:14:29.040 that was just like a fade mmmmm, which is a 0:14:29.120 --> 0:14:31.800 very short like look cut fade m you would have 0:14:31.920 --> 0:14:38.720 town carpet mmmmm. Yeah, carpet would a lineup yeah with 0:14:38.840 --> 0:14:43.040 some madges, mages, carpets manages sidebar. Can we talk about 0:14:43.080 --> 0:14:49.560 the ineffectiveness of the carpet sweeper? Okay, Okay, I'm glad 0:14:49.600 --> 0:14:52.040 someone finally brought up. It took about twenty years, but 0:14:52.160 --> 0:14:56.360 finally someone has brought up something that's bothered me for decades. 0:14:56.640 --> 0:14:58.920 My tired childhood they would be like, they give you 0:14:58.960 --> 0:15:00.880 this thing, and I'm just the fuck is this for? 0:15:01.400 --> 0:15:04.480 Like the amount of times you went over one mm 0:15:04.520 --> 0:15:06.880 one thing? Yeah, one thing? The worst what you would 0:15:06.880 --> 0:15:10.200 see somebody in a restaurant using when you're like, ma'am, ma'am, man, 0:15:10.240 --> 0:15:12.480 it's not gonna work. That's not gonna work. You're gonna 0:15:12.480 --> 0:15:15.680 spend your whole shift, You're a whole shift trying to 0:15:15.720 --> 0:15:18.440 get them crumbs from underneath that type. You will have 0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:22.240 one strong tricep and one regular tricep. If you keep going, 0:15:23.800 --> 0:15:25.800 you're gonna be annoyed. You're gonna be You might as 0:15:25.800 --> 0:15:29.600 well just mop. That's very funny. You might as well 0:15:29.680 --> 0:15:32.240 mop the carpet for all the good that you're doing. 0:15:37.240 --> 0:15:42.120 The way that um a carpet needs special care and attention. 0:15:42.160 --> 0:15:44.360 If you're trying to keep it pristine, if you're trying 0:15:44.360 --> 0:15:46.920 to keep it like the day you bought it for years, 0:15:47.240 --> 0:15:49.000 you're gonna have to do a little bit more than 0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:51.240 just like, oh, I bought a dice in vacuum and 0:15:51.880 --> 0:15:54.960 you know, I guess we're good. You know. I remember 0:15:55.360 --> 0:15:59.320 one of the punishments as a kid, M was cleaning 0:15:59.400 --> 0:16:02.480 the half lean in the carpet and not being allowed 0:16:02.520 --> 0:16:06.760 to use the vacuum, like having to sweep carpet. Yeah, yeah, 0:16:06.800 --> 0:16:09.480 you ever just get punished with a puzzle. That's right. 0:16:09.840 --> 0:16:12.720 And the thing is, but the secret is sweeping carpet. M. 0:16:13.520 --> 0:16:17.240 It's swift. You can't like, you know, with the regular 0:16:17.280 --> 0:16:19.440 Like on a hardwood floor, you take a broom, you 0:16:19.520 --> 0:16:23.800 just slide across M. With a carpet, you really have 0:16:23.920 --> 0:16:27.560 to just do very quick motions M to get it 0:16:27.560 --> 0:16:30.920 all yeah, to get it all irritated and dusted up. Yeah, yeah, 0:16:31.040 --> 0:16:34.880 you get all dusted up. That's why they started. Like 0:16:34.920 --> 0:16:38.880 when Carpet Fresh came out, everybody's house smelled wild as 0:16:38.920 --> 0:16:41.840 hell because Carpet Fresh smelled like something you put down 0:16:41.840 --> 0:16:45.040 for a pet. Like it never smelled like, yeah, oh 0:16:45.560 --> 0:16:49.280 now my house smells like a meadow. No, it's oh 0:16:49.320 --> 0:16:52.520 you must have a dog. I also think that. So 0:16:52.560 --> 0:16:56.000 we you know, we've talked about potential injury. We've talked 0:16:56.000 --> 0:17:00.640 about cleanliness. Uh you know that hard wood wins that 0:17:00.680 --> 0:17:06.959 one easy for easy mop, easy swiffer, you know, um, 0:17:07.400 --> 0:17:10.240 but Swiftford now swiffer, we have to talk about swiftferd 0:17:11.080 --> 0:17:15.600 changed the game. It did. Yeah, I will say before 0:17:15.840 --> 0:17:18.680 so as someone who didn't grow up with a swiffer 0:17:18.720 --> 0:17:22.800 the whole time, right the swiffer came later, there was 0:17:22.920 --> 0:17:26.520 a true difference. That was one of the first products. 0:17:26.520 --> 0:17:29.280 The swiffer was one of the first products that was 0:17:29.480 --> 0:17:32.880 as easy to use as it actually looked in the commercial. 0:17:32.960 --> 0:17:34.960 A lot of those commercials like to make it look 0:17:35.000 --> 0:17:37.640 like they're making your life so much easier. The Swiffer 0:17:37.720 --> 0:17:41.239 really came through and was like, no, you know, you 0:17:41.240 --> 0:17:43.680 could just stand here. You got the whole thing. Just 0:17:43.680 --> 0:17:46.000 stand here and do it. That's the whole thing right there. 0:17:46.320 --> 0:17:49.000 And then it was like, okay, well here's basically it's like, 0:17:49.400 --> 0:17:52.560 here's a Clarks, here's a baby white before your floor 0:17:53.840 --> 0:17:57.960 right m. Also, and then when they got the Swiffer, 0:17:58.000 --> 0:18:02.400 wet jet, nigger, m you're telling me with just two 0:18:02.520 --> 0:18:05.720 double A batteries and some floor juice. I do feel 0:18:05.720 --> 0:18:11.040 like it changed my perspective on cleaning too, because it 0:18:11.119 --> 0:18:13.359 used to be when I had to sweep, I was like, 0:18:13.600 --> 0:18:15.760 all right, now, I gotta get a guy, get under 0:18:15.800 --> 0:18:18.439 the couch, got moved the couch, gotta sweep under here. 0:18:18.760 --> 0:18:21.159 What I mean, I'm not even gonna find any pennies. 0:18:21.280 --> 0:18:24.440 This is this is terrible. And then with the swiffer, 0:18:24.720 --> 0:18:28.399 the way it attracted the dust, yes, the way that 0:18:28.440 --> 0:18:31.320 it was like no, no, no, no, you've done enough. 0:18:32.520 --> 0:18:34.760 Let me put in some work. I got you. I 0:18:34.840 --> 0:18:36.840 want to touch on something now that I feel like 0:18:37.040 --> 0:18:41.119 is uh. It's not always considered because you know, ideally 0:18:41.320 --> 0:18:43.520 it's not gonna happen to you. But you know, you 0:18:43.560 --> 0:18:45.360 and I. We live in New York. I know you're 0:18:45.400 --> 0:18:49.720 blessed enough. I've been blessed enough to be in high floors, 0:18:50.760 --> 0:18:53.200 but not everybody has that. You know, there are people 0:18:53.200 --> 0:18:55.840 that live below us. There's people that live below other 0:18:55.840 --> 0:18:58.960 people all the time. What would you rather your upstairs 0:18:59.040 --> 0:19:05.880 neighbor have hardwood clanking and clanking and clanking and or carpet. 0:19:06.359 --> 0:19:08.240 I feel like this is one of the things where 0:19:08.280 --> 0:19:11.840 I have to concede a little bit where carpet. Carpet 0:19:11.920 --> 0:19:15.040 comes in over hardwood. Hardwood takes an l when it 0:19:15.040 --> 0:19:19.000 comes to neighbors, it really does. I am my other apartment. 0:19:19.000 --> 0:19:22.080 I had a neighbor as I was recording a car 0:19:22.280 --> 0:19:30.800 like Great North, and this person with vacuum every Friday. 0:19:31.880 --> 0:19:35.160 But I didn't know what they were vacuuming. Yeah, because 0:19:35.200 --> 0:19:39.280 we all had hardwood floors. Hmm, so what are you doing? 0:19:39.880 --> 0:19:46.360 A maybe within their hardwood, they have some spaces. Might 0:19:46.440 --> 0:19:48.720 those some of those woodpieces might have some spaces, like 0:19:48.880 --> 0:19:51.800 some extra gaps in the teeth. And they got a 0:19:51.880 --> 0:19:54.440 vacuumm out what I feel like. I was like, maybe 0:19:54.440 --> 0:19:56.399 they had rugs, because the thing is, there's nothing to 0:19:56.440 --> 0:19:59.840 stop you from running a vacuum over a hardwood floor. 0:20:00.280 --> 0:20:04.480 I have a roomba. A roomba. Also, a roomba is 0:20:04.520 --> 0:20:07.239 like if you gave puppies. It's like if you give 0:20:07.280 --> 0:20:09.160 a puppy or a kitten a job, it's a roomba 0:20:09.800 --> 0:20:12.720 mm hmm. Because they're like, oh, it maps your house. No, 0:20:12.840 --> 0:20:16.880 the fucking doesn't. It runs into walls, yeah, and then 0:20:16.880 --> 0:20:21.480 it runs in the wall until it runs out of power. Yeah. 0:20:21.640 --> 0:20:24.280 It sucks up your floorboards until it can't fucks them 0:20:24.359 --> 0:20:26.800 up no more. That's all. And it's like it's helpful 0:20:26.840 --> 0:20:29.600 because like, I don't have to clean my floor now, 0:20:29.960 --> 0:20:33.959 m LA, roomba is cleaning my floor. I get it. 0:20:33.960 --> 0:20:45.520 It's great, But girl, put the bottle down wrong. The 0:20:45.560 --> 0:20:47.520 way that you said put the bottle like, the way 0:20:47.520 --> 0:20:54.159 that all this came together really was a mystery to 0:20:54.240 --> 0:21:00.520 me until you because you went you you were saying 0:21:00.560 --> 0:21:02.560 something else and that you just out of nowhere to say, girl, 0:21:02.640 --> 0:21:05.560 put the bottle down. I was like, I was trying 0:21:05.560 --> 0:21:08.040 to not with you. I was trying to be like, Okay, 0:21:08.440 --> 0:21:15.040 maybe this is gonna be something. Yeah, yeah, being being 0:21:15.080 --> 0:21:18.840 a roomba really just slamming a vacuum into walls, just 0:21:19.160 --> 0:21:25.880 truly just really real stuntman energy. But I can't tell 0:21:25.920 --> 0:21:32.320 you that that roomba, that roomba has fucked up three 0:21:32.320 --> 0:21:35.120 of my pedicures. Oh because it ran over your foot 0:21:35.200 --> 0:21:40.160 a stuff, I mean, in the most distress. So does it? 0:21:40.240 --> 0:21:42.800 How does it work? Does it run into your foot fast? 0:21:42.920 --> 0:21:45.080 How does that work? There's a little bit of speed 0:21:45.119 --> 0:21:47.520 behind it. But it didn't just run into my foot. 0:21:47.520 --> 0:21:52.080 It ran over my foot. Damn. I don't even know 0:21:52.160 --> 0:21:54.960 they had that type of clearance. I did not either 0:21:55.240 --> 0:21:59.040 until it chipped, like I mean always it's always chipping 0:21:59.080 --> 0:22:01.199 a big toe or a baby job. I thought they 0:22:01.200 --> 0:22:05.120 were really just sucking floor. And so the fact the 0:22:05.119 --> 0:22:07.920 fact that it could go over that's terrifying. I think 0:22:07.920 --> 0:22:13.359 it's got an alter rain setting. What did you say 0:22:13.600 --> 0:22:17.919 an alterrain, so you think it has an alter so 0:22:18.080 --> 0:22:23.080 to clean to clean the outside too, got a four 0:22:23.160 --> 0:22:28.120 by four setting, so you would let it clean a mountain. 0:22:28.440 --> 0:22:30.720 I think that they have adapted it to where because 0:22:30.760 --> 0:22:32.679 it's like it has to be able to go up 0:22:32.800 --> 0:22:34.480 things because as we go up on the carpet go 0:22:34.520 --> 0:22:36.720 down to the floor, and I think it's going over stairs, 0:22:36.760 --> 0:22:39.200 but it has to deal with like probably different heights 0:22:39.200 --> 0:22:41.720 of things. Okay, so like fuck it, let's just put 0:22:41.720 --> 0:22:44.399 a four by four in this bitch. All right, what 0:22:44.400 --> 0:22:48.920 do you mean? I didn't say anything. I said, all right, 0:22:49.400 --> 0:22:54.680 how did it? If not? How if not? Me? When 0:22:55.520 --> 0:22:58.240 I feel like there's a huge amount of middle ground 0:22:58.320 --> 0:23:02.920 between you what you just proposed at what it's actually doing, 0:23:04.440 --> 0:23:06.240 the way that you're the way that you're being, Like, 0:23:06.320 --> 0:23:08.280 if it's not that, then what could it be? Is 0:23:09.840 --> 0:23:13.840 it is not correct to me? Are you a scientist? 0:23:16.119 --> 0:23:19.840 This is what? This is what happens You catch somebody 0:23:20.280 --> 0:23:24.680 in a wild projection and then they immediately turned on you. 0:23:25.359 --> 0:23:29.680 Are you an engineer? I'm just asking, nigger, are you 0:23:29.880 --> 0:23:39.720 a scientist? Okay? I want answer. We are? Yeah, But 0:23:39.800 --> 0:23:42.159 the fact that we both don't know doesn't mean one 0:23:42.200 --> 0:23:45.000 of us definitely knows. But you talking from a place 0:23:45.040 --> 0:23:47.840 so that you thought you might know. No, I'm talking 0:23:47.840 --> 0:23:51.919 from a place where that does sound right. You always 0:23:51.960 --> 0:23:55.439 do this to me. I always do what You always 0:23:55.440 --> 0:23:57.440 do this to me. You make you sound like that 0:23:57.680 --> 0:24:08.520 I'm saying the wild thing, making it sound like hock about, 0:24:10.840 --> 0:24:15.360 making it sound like yes, making it sound as if 0:24:16.000 --> 0:24:18.920 it is not wild that you said that under the rum, 0:24:18.960 --> 0:24:22.080 but is all terrade. I'm just saying, I don't know 0:24:22.080 --> 0:24:28.640 why to put a four by four nitch. I mean, 0:24:28.680 --> 0:24:33.160 there's truly no way to me, at least, no way 0:24:33.520 --> 0:24:35.959 that carpet comes out on top of hard wood. I 0:24:36.000 --> 0:24:42.960 think that hardwood has laid down a literal foundation for 0:24:43.040 --> 0:24:50.280 a beautiful and picturesque home. I think that carpet sometimes 0:24:50.600 --> 0:24:53.680 it's very easy for carpet to be ruined. Let's talk 0:24:53.720 --> 0:24:57.320 about ruined for a second. Let's talk about damage. Because 0:24:57.640 --> 0:25:00.280 you really got to burn hardwoods, you really out a 0:25:00.359 --> 0:25:07.440 smash hardwood. Girl I was friends with was having like 0:25:07.480 --> 0:25:11.919 a party at her parents' house and her little cousin 0:25:12.440 --> 0:25:18.399 m HM went in the den with a red drink, okay, 0:25:18.960 --> 0:25:21.720 and the carpet was like white like a light cream 0:25:21.760 --> 0:25:25.480 white color. Can we just say very brave, very brave, 0:25:25.840 --> 0:25:29.080 very brave of them, and all of us who were 0:25:29.680 --> 0:25:33.719 like young adults so like late twenties, early thirties, all 0:25:33.760 --> 0:25:38.560 went like, hey, hey, come back, come back, and then 0:25:38.560 --> 0:25:40.960 her mom was like, oh, he's fine, and we went, 0:25:42.000 --> 0:25:45.959 excuse me, I don't live there, this isn't my house. 0:25:46.280 --> 0:25:47.680 But I was like, oh, I said, they look like 0:25:47.720 --> 0:25:51.320 giving everybody flashbacks. We're not. We don't have to go 0:25:51.440 --> 0:25:56.520 on a full tangent. But the bravery, the hubrists, the hubris, 0:25:57.359 --> 0:25:59.840 the fucking, and then the thing we thought it was hubris, 0:26:00.240 --> 0:26:02.440 but then she was like, no, he's okay. We weren't. No, 0:26:02.560 --> 0:26:06.679 he's not. He can't be in there with that. And 0:26:06.840 --> 0:26:08.560 not only that, she was like, no, he's fine. And 0:26:08.760 --> 0:26:10.480 then my friend whose mom and whose house it was, 0:26:10.880 --> 0:26:13.080 she was like, you wouldn't never let me in there, 0:26:13.119 --> 0:26:15.520 and we were like, we wouldn't have been allowed. And 0:26:15.600 --> 0:26:19.880 so because we all refused, like there was older adults 0:26:19.880 --> 0:26:23.960 like parent age in there with food and drinks. Everybody 0:26:24.119 --> 0:26:26.320 was in the like the twenties and thirties would not 0:26:26.520 --> 0:26:28.560