Speaker 1: Welcome back to I Do Part two. I'm Cheryl Burke,
Speaker 1: one of your celebrity mentors here on the podcast. This
Speaker 1: podcast has been fun for me because I'm an open book,
Speaker 1: as you guys know when it comes to my love journey,
Speaker 1: and on this show, I get to meet other people
Speaker 1: and talk about their own experience with love and heartbreak
Speaker 1: and second acts and how their experiences have shaped them.
Speaker 1: Today on the podcast, I'm going to be joined by
Speaker 1: someone who's had her fair share of heartbreak. You know
Speaker 1: her from the Real Housewives of Orange County. Please welcome
Speaker 1: Megan King to the pod. Well, first of all, welcome
Speaker 1: to I Do Part two. Would you say that you're
Speaker 1: in your I Do Phase Part two? Megan?
Speaker 2: Not really. I don't know, Like I feel like I
Speaker 2: did that a while ago.
Speaker 1: Right, So part three, I mean part like who's counting?
Speaker 2: No, No, I already did that. We're talking about the past.
Speaker 2: I Do purchase a while ago.
Speaker 1: Right, Okay, So how is it currently then?
Speaker 2: I mean I'm dating, but like, mainly I'm focusing on myself,
Speaker 2: my kids and money.
Speaker 1: Right, like your career and all of that, like hustling.
Speaker 2: Porting myself and my kids.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I saw your post that it was so
Speaker 1: you know, heartwarming, and reading your caption just felt I
Speaker 1: don't have kids, and I can't relate obviously, but it
Speaker 1: was super just transparent and honest, and I really appreciated that.
Speaker 1: And how was that whole experience with your daughter.
Speaker 2: Oh, to be like on a trip with her back. Yeah, oh,
Speaker 2: you're right, Like that was really moving for me. I
Speaker 2: knew that, I like, time with my children individually is
Speaker 2: really special, but I don't often get afforded that privilege
Speaker 2: because I'm a single mother, and I do have help
Speaker 2: because I have to because I'm a working mother. But
Speaker 2: like when I do have help, I take advantage of
Speaker 2: that by not being home, by working right, And so
Speaker 2: when I'm home, I have my three children with me
Speaker 2: at once, and it's really in my head it's always
Speaker 2: like a really special gift to be able to spend
Speaker 2: one on one time with them, and but like I
Speaker 2: never put like a whole lot of effort into that,
Speaker 2: And so when I was able to do this with
Speaker 2: my daughter, I was really looking forward to it. I
Speaker 2: took her skiing in Idaho and it was so amazing.
Speaker 2: First of all, it was really easy. One cake, Oh,
Speaker 2: he's a cake it was like nothinge it. It was
Speaker 2: like hanging out with a friend, and we realized how
Speaker 2: good of a.
Speaker 1: I am you are.
Speaker 3: I am always like trying to chase my tail all
Speaker 3: the three kids, and when I just had this one experience,
Speaker 3: I realized it's okay.
Speaker 2: You can celebrate like what you're doing because you're doing
Speaker 2: a good job.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, And I think that was just like I'm sure
Speaker 1: you just related to so many moms out there, but
Speaker 1: I do have to ask. I know you don't want
Speaker 1: to talk about the past, but we need to know
Speaker 1: a little bit about your love journey. And you know
Speaker 1: you saying you're being a single mom, and just remind
Speaker 1: our listeners what that in a short few sentences, what
Speaker 1: that is for you.
Speaker 2: I was married to my ex husband. We had our
Speaker 2: first daughter together via IVF. We recorded that journey on
Speaker 2: The Real Housewives of Orange County, and shortly after eighteen months,
Speaker 2: to be exact, I had twin boys. And shortly after that,
Speaker 2: I went through a very public scandal slash divorce with
Speaker 2: my ex husband and things have gotten progressively worse since.
Speaker 2: And it's been five years now and I've been five
Speaker 2: years a single mother minus like a little blip on
Speaker 2: the radar there of a big mistake called an annulment,
Speaker 2: but that was literally like three months of my life total.
Speaker 2: And here I am like still navigating the waters of
Speaker 2: single motherhood.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and do you want to ever maybe play around
Speaker 1: with getting married again or is that just not on
Speaker 1: your radar? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I think like having a life partner for me is
Speaker 2: very important, and I want to hold with someone. But
Speaker 2: what I've learned through my relationship is that there's no
Speaker 2: one who's going to fill a void for me. There
Speaker 2: are voids, don't get me wrong in my life, but
Speaker 2: those voids need to be filled by myself and then
Speaker 2: I can accept someone who's going to enhance my life
Speaker 2: after that, not someone who's going to fill avoid because
Speaker 2: when I allow that void to be filled by another individual,
Speaker 2: that invites me to accept a lot of faults and
Speaker 2: turn a blind eye to red flags. And I realized
Speaker 2: that through some failed relationships, including that annulment that I
Speaker 2: spoke of, and that's not what we're doing anymore. And
Speaker 2: we got this five years. I've done this for five years.
Speaker 2: I don't know how, but here I am surviving.
Speaker 1: I mean like an alcoholic, like I am an addict. Honestly,
Speaker 1: it's one day at a time. I haven't day in
Speaker 1: three years and I don't. I'm good, I am fine,
Speaker 1: And since my divorce, I'm like, I just have no interest.
Speaker 2: Really, why not?
Speaker 1: Because I owe it to myself to date myself after
Speaker 1: being a serial dater for from thirteen till thirty seven.
Speaker 2: You're master dating. What you're master dating, You're dating.
Speaker 1: Yourself, absolutely, But I owe that to myself. Like I'm
Speaker 1: enjoying this drama free zone in this home that I
Speaker 1: live in, and I have zero interests. But back to you, Okay,
Speaker 1: what has like co parenting been like for you in
Speaker 1: your ex.
Speaker 2: It's been not co parenting, it's been parenting. And parenting
Speaker 2: is a term that people use when there's very little
Speaker 2: communication or teamwork with the other parents, and it's more
Speaker 2: like one party is parenting and the other party is
Speaker 2: parenting separately. And that's what I've been doing. And that
Speaker 2: is not ideal for the children at all, unfortunately, but
Speaker 2: sometimes that's you know, what the cards have been dealt,
Speaker 2: And yeah, it's it's horrible.
Speaker 1: Do you see that? How it affects? Because I come
Speaker 1: from a divorce family and my dad was just like
Speaker 1: nowhere to be found. I mean he was he left
Speaker 1: the country, so like there was really no co parenting
Speaker 1: right at all. So until my mom met my stepfather.
Speaker 2: Total single mom situation.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, for a good solid I would say four
Speaker 1: or five years, like at the prime you know, of
Speaker 1: when I needed a father figure. Most likely have you
Speaker 1: seen it affect Are your kids in therapy or.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, they're in therapy? Yeah for sure.
Speaker 1: It's good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's cute, like they love it, and I think
Speaker 2: like a special gift I've given them because I started
Speaker 2: them in therapy before they understood that therapy was a trigger.
Speaker 1: That's so good for them.
Speaker 2: Therapy is just a word that we use, like go
Speaker 2: play outside. It's just natural to them, and they speak
Speaker 2: about it with their friends like it just rolls off
Speaker 2: their tongue. And I love that that they have that
Speaker 2: and they're like so good, which were of normalcy.
Speaker 1: I love that they're talking to their friends about it
Speaker 1: because there's there was back when I was that age,
Speaker 1: probably a lot of shame behind therapy, you know, like
Speaker 1: you only go there.
Speaker 2: I knew what crazy. I don't know it was when
Speaker 2: I was their age.
Speaker 1: Totally, it's so good.
Speaker 2: Pside board.
Speaker 1: Well, my mom, I mean I went. I started at four,
Speaker 1: but like my mom, for her generation, there was no
Speaker 1: way in hell.
Speaker 2: Like, but where are you from.
Speaker 1: I'm from the Bay Area, so.
Speaker 2: You're from California, Like that's progressive. I'm from Missouri.
Speaker 1: Well, I went to therapy because I got chi I
Speaker 1: got molested when I was a little girl, so that.
Speaker 2: Was a ness different.
Speaker 1: Yes, well, you know, yes, so my mom did what
Speaker 1: like you know, she was she was a nurse as well,
Speaker 1: so she knew exactly what to do. Now, if you're
Speaker 1: talking her generation coming from the Philippines, like that is
Speaker 1: a big no. No. You know therapy in general.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that there's a taboo associated with that.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Have you found a tribe of women to like
Speaker 1: support you during this time or are you more of
Speaker 1: a person who likes to be alone.
Speaker 2: No, I've found I've I have a tribe of people
Speaker 2: and combined men women. But for me, like I think
Speaker 2: like I found a ton of support in women and
Speaker 2: especially my best friend who's also a single mom, who's
Speaker 2: been through and going through a very similar situation to me.
Speaker 2: And it's just nice to be able to relate to
Speaker 2: somebody in the way that I can talk to her
Speaker 2: and say X y Z is happening, and basically what
Speaker 2: I'm saying is armageddon is happening. And she doesn't react
Speaker 2: like with you know, her jaw to the floor. She
Speaker 2: reacts like, Okay, we can handle this because she understands
Speaker 2: that totally. There's something to be said for someone who
Speaker 2: understands or can can can like absorb and react to
Speaker 2: my trauma in a way that is normal instead of
Speaker 2: like thinking that the world is falling.
Speaker 1: Apart judging or people are like what, yeah, I hear No,
Speaker 1: I totally hear you. And there's not a lot of
Speaker 1: people out there like that, you know, without first of all,
Speaker 1: we're all human. Judgment happens, but also like you just
Speaker 1: want to be able to speak about freely about whatever
Speaker 1: is going on without thinking twice about it, especially within
Speaker 1: your circle.
Speaker 2: And not only that, it takes a ton of energy
Speaker 2: to speak about what I'm going through and I don't
Speaker 2: love to relive that I don't really like to talk about.
Speaker 1: But do you feel like it heals a little part
Speaker 1: of you every time you do.
Speaker 2: I feel like there's a sort of release when it's
Speaker 2: the right audience. Otherwise I feel like it's.
Speaker 1: A job, I hear you, and do are you in therapy? No?
Speaker 2: I feel like I have a weird take on therapy.
Speaker 2: Say more, therapy is very therapeutic, and it's supposed to
Speaker 2: be as the word says.
Speaker 1: I mean, it depends on who you're going to.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there has to be a relationship and all that,
Speaker 2: But I think therapy is meant to be there until
Speaker 2: you've learned your lesson. And I feel as if, like
Speaker 2: for the most part with my situation with my ex husband,
Speaker 2: I've learned my lessons and I know what they're the
Speaker 2: advice that would be given to me, and therefore, like
Speaker 2: I know how to apply it. It's whether or not I
Speaker 2: do it. Also, I don't know, Like I'm analytical and
Speaker 2: I'm emotionally aware. Sometimes I think that therapy is just
Speaker 2: a waste of time for me because I've already done
Speaker 2: it and got it. I either apply it or I don't.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's different for everybody, right, like for real,
Speaker 1: Like I think that. I mean, there's no like check
Speaker 1: like I'll be in therapy for the rest of my life.
Speaker 1: I just know that. But that's my situation, right, And
Speaker 1: do you feel like you're missing an unbiased opinion.
Speaker 2: No, because I get my therapy from other sources, so
Speaker 2: it's not like a therapist per se, which I do.
Speaker 2: I do see a therapist like intermittently. Yeah, it takes
Speaker 2: a long time, like it's a no.
Speaker 1: It's a lot. It's heavy. You have to explain everything again,
Speaker 1: like it's a whole thing, right, and it's expensive if
Speaker 1: you see, if you're not going.
Speaker 2: Through relationship right, like it has to be the right man.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's very important. I mean there's a lot of
Speaker 1: a lot of people that say, you know, I just
Speaker 1: tried it and didn't work out for me, And I
Speaker 1: always say try again, you know, because like there's just
Speaker 1: I've been through ten and now I've been with my
Speaker 1: last therapyt or my current one for like almost twenty years.
Speaker 1: So it's like when you find the right one, you
Speaker 1: stick to it unless she retires or he retires.
Speaker 2: So I have a life coach I work with.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, that's great.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's similar to a therapist.
Speaker 1: They're not late, they're not certified, but yes, correct, so
Speaker 1: they're still unbiased. Right. Yeah, that's great, that's awesome. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's transition into dating here. Tell me about your dating life.
Speaker 2: Okay, so I've been in an on and off relationship
Speaker 2: for several years and that's safe and than like comfortable
Speaker 2: and then but like outside of that, I date casually
Speaker 2: and it's fun. I was actually just thinking about this
Speaker 2: a couple of days ago. I love falling in love.
Speaker 2: It's like addiction.
Speaker 1: It's it brings something up right.
Speaker 2: One million yeah, and I love it. It's the most
Speaker 2: fun thing ever to fall in love. But like that's
Speaker 2: not that's not sustainable, and that's not it's real in
Speaker 2: the moment, but it's not real in the long term. No,
Speaker 2: And so there's something really special about this relationship that
Speaker 2: I've had on and off for five years that I
Speaker 2: think that, Okay, I'm gonna get deep.
Speaker 1: Here and we love deep.
Speaker 2: When I was in my relationship with my ex, he
Speaker 2: has a lot like looking back, he has some traits
Speaker 2: of what some might think of narcissistic like me, And
Speaker 2: a typical trade of a narcissist is to like love
Speaker 2: bomb and like you fall in love quickly, and that's
Speaker 2: and I did that. That was amazing and then it
Speaker 2: ended poorly for me. But for me, as like a
Speaker 2: late twenty year old, that was how I thought love
Speaker 2: was supposed to be, and so I think that's what
Speaker 2: I still seek in a lot of ways. And that's not,
Speaker 2: like we said, sustainable, and so I'm like trying to
Speaker 2: get out of that cycle. But to get out of
Speaker 2: that cycle means to like get out of that like
Speaker 2: huge release of serotonin and to like keep you know,
Speaker 2: consistent with like this a stable individual or a stable relationship.
Speaker 1: You have to retrain the brain and that is really
Speaker 1: difficult if like you have to do things that are
Speaker 1: not comfortable, right, that are that you have to be aware,
Speaker 1: which I think you are. Obviously you're saying that you're
Speaker 1: aware of what you were or still attracting, right as
Speaker 1: far as personality traits go, And I feel like I
Speaker 1: can relate because I'm just a bad picker because my
Speaker 1: sense of home was abuse, right, So my abuse is
Speaker 1: what I was attracting and people who were unavailable, men
Speaker 1: that were unavailable, And I still can gravitate towards that.
Speaker 1: My lazy brain, I like to say, like my subconscious
Speaker 1: is very used to that. That is my home. I
Speaker 1: was disgusted by nice people, right, So there was that
Speaker 1: because I never experienced that. So I was like, well,
Speaker 1: with all of this. Obviously I didn't like myself, let
Speaker 1: alone love myself. And then I was like I was
Speaker 1: attracting that type of just people around me, both romantic
Speaker 1: and not romantic. Do you are you active in untraining
Speaker 1: the brain to then train it?
Speaker 2: Absolutely? And I completely relate to what you're talking, like
Speaker 2: speaking of with the the attraction quotient. I think that
Speaker 2: that's like a very reveeling part of who we are
Speaker 2: that sometimes we don't want to look at you know, like.
Speaker 1: You are, you are who you were raised by.
Speaker 2: In that too, And it's to break those generational cycles
Speaker 2: and to and to break even not generational like just
Speaker 2: to break like your own life cycles is really difficult
Speaker 2: to stop and it takes. It takes like a ton
Speaker 2: of inner work, and not only that, like a ton
Speaker 2: of being comfortable with myself. And that is the fucking
Speaker 2: hardest part. And I mean to love the body and
Speaker 2: from head to toe, and to love everything about me,
Speaker 2: including my anxiety, including the bad things that I've done,
Speaker 2: and not to love them and not to be proud
Speaker 2: of the bad things, but to say to those things,
Speaker 2: I see you, I understand when you do this, I
Speaker 2: understand how you feel. And this is Okay, we're going
Speaker 2: to get through this and then to move on from there,
Speaker 2: because I think that once I recognize the feelings and
Speaker 2: the person that I am, that allows me to love
Speaker 2: myself more and then to be able to heal totally.
Speaker 1: It's just like you have to mother you're inner child,
Speaker 1: you know, because that's exactly what it is. And it's
Speaker 1: so amazing that you're very aware of this, and you
Speaker 1: should be proud of yourself, because I am. That's a
Speaker 1: lot to swallow.
Speaker 4: It is, Yes, thank you, I am.
Speaker 1: Now I have to ask you about this ring post
Speaker 1: on October sixth, to be exact or not? Okay, say more?
Speaker 1: What ring you there showed like an engagement? Was an
Speaker 1: engagement ring? Did that you post it on Instagram?
Speaker 2: Let me look it up?
Speaker 1: Or maybe it was an Instagram it was a different
Speaker 1: social platform, but I'm pretty sure it was in October.
Speaker 1: It was on Instagram and it was a ring. Yes, Oh,
Speaker 1: come on, you cannot forget about your policy of people
Speaker 1: posting for you.
Speaker 2: No, I post my own step.
Speaker 1: October sixth unless you erased it. I don't think it
Speaker 1: was October sixth. It was in October, Okay, come on?
Speaker 1: It was a string it was in a string. It
Speaker 1: was like in a carousel.
Speaker 2: Was a big ring?
Speaker 1: Was it a carousel of pictures?
Speaker 2: Well, it had to be my big ring.
Speaker 1: October twentieth, per my producer.
Speaker 2: Okay, October first, October twenty eighth.
Speaker 1: It was in a carousel, I believe. I mean, you
Speaker 1: could have just been a ring.
Speaker 2: Guys, I'm looking oh that one.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that one?
Speaker 2: Oh pretty?
Speaker 1: It is pretty. That's why we were talking about it.
Speaker 1: Say more, I.
Speaker 2: Wish that was mine.
Speaker 1: What I forgot about it? Were you ring shopping? What
Speaker 1: was what was all of that about?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'm always ring shopping.
Speaker 1: For an engagement ring. Come on, who's is that?
Speaker 2: I wonder who's that that is?
Speaker 1: Is that your hand?
Speaker 2: My friends have really beautiful, big ass rings, and I
Speaker 2: just thought I was gorgeous. And by the way, I think.
Speaker 1: You're you know what, I have a really good lie detector.
Speaker 1: I think you're lying. But that's okay, you do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm like almost psychic. I swear to god. My grandma
Speaker 1: was it's this whole thing. It's like, I am, I
Speaker 1: can smell you from a mile away.
Speaker 2: Somebody. Do you think somebody's gonna buy that for me?
Speaker 1: I mean yeah. I mean, I have a poshmark account.
Speaker 1: I can just sell it for you if you want.
Speaker 2: It's not mine, I would know. I wish it was mine.
Speaker 1: It's okay, so you're playing KOI obviously you don't want
Speaker 1: to say more than that, right, I'm not. I'm not
Speaker 1: like that was just a random picture.
Speaker 2: No, I think it was my friend's. Like my friends
Speaker 2: have like really big diamonds and I love to try
Speaker 2: them on. And I think I will.
Speaker 1: Be here that you're engaged in one week from today.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna murder you.
Speaker 2: Who's who's gonna be Who's gonna be the husband? Cheryl?
Speaker 1: I don't know, I mean, who knows how? So how
Speaker 1: many people are you dating at the same time right now?
Speaker 1: I mean, you're gonna have to give me some tips here.
Speaker 2: So in my head, I love to date multiples of the.
Speaker 1: Same really, I don't know how you do that in
Speaker 1: my head? I said, oh, that's fine, and you still
Speaker 1: don't do that in my head? How do you do that?
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm like, oh, I'm a modern woman.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna date like, oh guys, and like you know,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna like just be free.
Speaker 1: I cannot I wish I could. I get I am
Speaker 1: so not like that.
Speaker 2: I'm monogamous big time.
Speaker 1: Like when I have sex with you, you're screwed. You
Speaker 1: might as well marry me.
Speaker 2: There's a lot to be said for that and say
Speaker 2: and like I try not to be that way, but
Speaker 2: like that's how my brain works, that's how my body works,
Speaker 2: and I can't help it.
Speaker 1: So, okay, how are you on a dating app?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: How do I do this? If you were me, if
Speaker 1: we were besties and you were here with me, and
Speaker 1: I was just like it was this friday, it was
Speaker 1: a weekend. See, I'm a hermit. I'm like, I am
Speaker 1: so too comfortable alone with my frenchiet and it's just
Speaker 1: the two of us bitches and we're hanging out, you know,
Speaker 1: So like what would you say? What are the first
Speaker 1: steps when I'm interested in dating? Because I'm just not
Speaker 1: right now.
Speaker 2: But anyway now, I'm like, you're not interested, Like.
Speaker 1: There's at all for you?
Speaker 2: Okay, cool, there's nothing you do. You stay in with
Speaker 2: your French gye and you watch Love Is Blind.
Speaker 1: Thank you. I'm halfway through season eight, Like I get it.
Speaker 1: I get it, thoughts, but.
Speaker 2: I know, no, it's not for you, Cheryl, It's not
Speaker 2: for you.
Speaker 1: You are our audience. So our listeners are very interested
Speaker 1: in this, So say more.
Speaker 2: What the what the audience? What the listeners is? They
Speaker 2: they go, they go on a nap if they want, okay,
Speaker 2: which I think they should, because it's like good to
Speaker 2: look at okay on Hinge and Rayah and they both
Speaker 2: are horrible.
Speaker 1: Are there? Okay? Well why would you say then do
Speaker 1: it when it's horrible.
Speaker 2: Because it's good to know what the what? Like the
Speaker 2: pickens are Okay, got it?
Speaker 1: So you're just judging a book by its cover as
Speaker 1: you're swiping through. Okay, got it?
Speaker 2: Books by its cover.
Speaker 5: That's what we do to gain some confidence, like go
Speaker 5: and then go out to in like irl and uh
Speaker 5: huh beeps and.
Speaker 2: Put yourself out there and say like, hey, I noticed
Speaker 2: you're not wearing a ring on your finger. That's bold.
Speaker 2: That's a bold statement, but it's true. Like that starts
Speaker 2: a convo.
Speaker 1: And then they're never like thanks for pointing out the obvious,
Speaker 1: Like okay, is that how we're starting this conversation?
Speaker 2: No, they usually try to like play it cool, but
Speaker 2: you're right. I would totally say that if I was
Speaker 2: a guy yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean if they say it to you, you can
Speaker 1: totally steal it.
Speaker 2: They must, you know what, that is a terrible pickup line.
Speaker 2: I've never gotten that response. They must just never get
Speaker 2: pickup lines.
Speaker 1: I mean, they just must like you. There's no pickup
Speaker 1: line needed.
Speaker 2: Oh maybe maybe they.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's just like a high, short and sweet. Has
Speaker 1: dating with kids been tricky for you?
Speaker 2: Yeah, like the dating part no, but the relationship part. Yes.
Speaker 1: Have they met anybody other I that you've dated before
Speaker 1: or yeah?
Speaker 2: So I've been single since my kids have been one
Speaker 2: and three one and three, And initially I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: I'll just like introduce something to everybo and I did,
Speaker 2: like anybody who came to the house to like pick
Speaker 2: me up. Oh Hi, this is my friend Bob or Joe,
Speaker 2: Bill or whatever.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: But then once they started having a memory, I'm like
Speaker 2: I stopped.
Speaker 1: And so, kay, what do you mean once they started
Speaker 1: having a memory, they're gonna what do you mean?
Speaker 2: Well, they were three and one and one.
Speaker 1: They didn't, like, you know what, my first memory I
Speaker 1: was two, my very first memory.
Speaker 2: Listen, I'm not saying that like certain things haven't stuck
Speaker 2: with them, but I don't think like Bill and Bob
Speaker 2: and Joe got necessarily going to like lay like deep
Speaker 2: seated memories in there.
Speaker 1: They're in therapy. We're good. We're good.
Speaker 2: They're in therapy. But like so, like after a couple
Speaker 2: of years, I'm like, Okay, this is done. I thought
Speaker 2: I would be married at that point. I thought it'd
Speaker 2: be like, oh, done, Like they would never have a
Speaker 2: memory without me being and so it was like a
Speaker 2: new thing for me to have to to take that,
Speaker 2: like to make my dating life separate from and which
Speaker 2: I did. And my kids don't have any conscious memory
Speaker 2: of me having a boyfriend.
Speaker 1: I'm just messing with you.
Speaker 2: It's well, I don't care. You can't come at me
Speaker 2: like it's true.
Speaker 1: And I'm never coming at you. I'm just messing around.
Speaker 1: I don't have kids, so I have no idea what
Speaker 1: I mean.
Speaker 2: My first memory was when I was three, I was
Speaker 2: like going down on my bicycle but donnah hill and
Speaker 2: I was scared. I remember that when I was three
Speaker 2: years old. But like I don't remember my mom's friend
Speaker 2: from college.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I hear you. My My first memory was
Speaker 1: with my real father naked having sex with another woman
Speaker 1: in his apartment. Yeah. That sounds like traumatic. That would
Speaker 1: make it was another Filipino woman. Clearly he had a
Speaker 1: type rest and peace dad. Yeah, so that I'll never forget.
Speaker 1: That was interesting. Okay, so when do you wait? So
Speaker 1: you have three kids, right, yeah, your daughter is the oldest, Yes.
Speaker 2: She's eight.
Speaker 1: So are you going to ever talk to them about
Speaker 1: your dating life?
Speaker 2: Yes? And I do, okay, like very fluid with them. Yeah,
Speaker 2: in the sense where like they'll but it's different like
Speaker 2: my kids, it's not like they ask about dating. It's
Speaker 2: like in their minds there's friends and there's husbands. There's
Speaker 2: not between And so I'm like, okay, I'm They'll be like,
Speaker 2: we're mommy, will you look for a daddy? Will you
Speaker 2: get it down house? And I'm like no, we're good
Speaker 2: without a daddy. And then we get a mommy.
Speaker 1: Then that's funny.
Speaker 2: Honestly that would be better.
Speaker 1: So do you guys split custody? Like? How does is?
Speaker 1: Do they see their father?
Speaker 2: They? Yes, they see got it?
Speaker 1: You know, I have this debate going on in my head.
Speaker 1: But also in one of the episodes I did here
Speaker 1: with Heather, our producer, and I said that, you know,
Speaker 1: coming from a divorce family, like I was basically just
Speaker 1: raised by my mom and a couple of nannies, right,
Speaker 1: But I believe because I'm thinking, like, for me, obviously,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to ever have a kid that I'm
Speaker 1: forty and almost forty one, and I'm I don't want
Speaker 1: to have a kid, like, well, that's obvious naturally, right
Speaker 1: like that, but like I wouldn't mind possibly maybe having
Speaker 1: one down the road, right like, and I'm not ready
Speaker 1: right now whatever. Anyways, the point is that I'm not
Speaker 1: opposed to raising a kid as a single parent. I
Speaker 1: think it's almost healthier than doing so with a partner.
Speaker 2: I could see that. I think that if I was
Speaker 2: entering into a relationship where I was starting to have children,
Speaker 2: I wouldn't look at the person as a romantic partner.
Speaker 2: I would look at them as a life partner and
Speaker 2: a business partner more or less. And I raise this child.
Speaker 2: Do our values aligned and you know the ways to
Speaker 2: raise a child? Because yes, like maybe our values aligned
Speaker 2: in the ways of having sex, but you know, or
Speaker 2: financially or whatever, but children, that's a whole different ballgame.
Speaker 2: And there's so many, as we both know, factors that
Speaker 2: go into a relationship. But when it comes to the children.
Speaker 2: That is the one thing that like, if it's not
Speaker 2: perfectly aligned and you got and we and you and
Speaker 2: the other person are you know, the proverbial you and
Speaker 2: the other person split up and the children part isn't aligned,
Speaker 2: that's going to cause tension for the rest of those
Speaker 2: children's lives, which I'm through. And I did that to
Speaker 2: my children because I was so focused on loving my
Speaker 2: partner for me and having children for me. I didn't
Speaker 2: think about the long term repercussions of if we split,
Speaker 2: because in my head, we just stay together. That's not
Speaker 2: how life works necessarily.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine? I think about this too often. If
Speaker 1: my parents stayed together, I would have been way messed up,
Speaker 1: more than I am today, of course, of.
Speaker 2: Course, And like there's so much to be said for that.
Speaker 2: I think, like you have your ideal situation, you know,
Speaker 2: in every you know, potential situation like ooh, a nuclear
Speaker 2: family with a mom and a dad who love each
Speaker 2: other for one hundred and million years and blah blah
Speaker 2: blah blah. But like we can only do the best
Speaker 2: with what we are given, and if that's not aligned,
Speaker 2: then that shouldn't that then like we should go elsewhere?
Speaker 2: To like give ourselves, first of all, the best that
Speaker 2: we can give ourselves, because that's the only way we
Speaker 2: can give the best to our children.
Speaker 1: When you say that you want to find somebody like
Speaker 1: a life partner, have you has there any has there
Speaker 1: been anybody that's even like come close to that checklist
Speaker 1: of whatever it is.
Speaker 2: That's a good question, Cheryl. I. I love to romanticize,
Speaker 2: so I would love to say absolutely, but like I don't. Honestly,
Speaker 2: I don't at this point, I don't know if that really.
Speaker 1: Exists, because perfect doesn't.
Speaker 2: No, And people are people, like are they gonna? Are
Speaker 2: they gonna be good people and consistent and stable and
Speaker 2: solid and there? And that's scary.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's scary to expect that because you're bound to
Speaker 1: then break it, right, Like, the expectations of somebody is
Speaker 1: not is something that you're That's the thing. It's like
Speaker 1: we're not Yogi's either. We can't just go into relationships
Speaker 1: not having expectations, because especially when you're dealing with other humans, right, Like,
Speaker 1: I can't even imagine. So do you feel like in
Speaker 1: a way you're gonna wait till your kids are adults
Speaker 1: until you settle No?
Speaker 2: I like I wanted to be with someone well before
Speaker 2: now and I'm not. But that's okay, it's okay, and
Speaker 2: I'm happy.
Speaker 1: Is it okay?
Speaker 2: Yes, it's okay, okay, good? Absolutely, are you creating? I
Speaker 2: have this beautiful home. I've decorated it for myself. It's
Speaker 2: like it's score.
Speaker 1: I thought you were in a museum.
Speaker 2: Thank you. I'm so happy, like in the space that
Speaker 2: I've created for myself and my children.
Speaker 1: Good for you.
Speaker 2: I just didn't imagine it being this way. Like there's
Speaker 2: a big difference in like being happy and then having expectations,
Speaker 2: like they don't necessarily have to.
Speaker 1: Align, no, and it doesn't have to be black and
Speaker 1: white like that either. Are you content beyond beyond? That's amazing?
Speaker 2: But I still have goals.
Speaker 1: Being content doesn't mean that you're not. That doesn't really,
Speaker 1: I mean you can still have goals, it's just not
Speaker 1: and live a drama free, freaking life. And that's what.
Speaker 1: I'm so happy and I'm not like, okay, so happy
Speaker 1: is not sustainable, but contentment is. And this is the thing.
Speaker 1: It's like, I've I'm not fighting with anybody, I'm not
Speaker 1: freaking out about something, I'm not being jealous, I'm not worrying.
Speaker 1: I'm not this. It's like the list goes on and
Speaker 1: I think that my nervous system has finally regulated to
Speaker 1: that point where there's fear. I mean, I'm not going
Speaker 1: to say that I'm not scared, but of course it's
Speaker 1: all fear related as to why I'm not dating, not all,
Speaker 1: but a little bit of it. But it's okay. And
Speaker 1: by the way, it's okay, like give yourself grace. You know.
Speaker 2: Every day I pull a card, and I pull it usually.
Speaker 1: In actually, yes, it's amazing physically. What type of cards?
Speaker 2: So I use a deck of cards from Gabrielle Bernstein. Yes,
Speaker 2: uh huh, she's a this awesome spiritual Yeah yeah, spiritual
Speaker 2: like manifesting death of kind of like taro wish cards.
Speaker 2: But they're not. And so every day I.
Speaker 1: Shoo affirmations right, correct.
Speaker 2: They're affirmations, that's exactly what we're there. And every day
Speaker 2: I shuffle them and I pull one, and sometimes my
Speaker 2: kids want to pull one. I let each with them
Speaker 2: pull one, and I leave them out in the kitchen
Speaker 2: for the whole day, and I talk to my kids
Speaker 2: about what it means, and I really try to live it,
Speaker 2: and I start the morning, out with it with my
Speaker 2: coffee every morning, and it's just like a good reminder
Speaker 2: that we're okay in the space that we're in.
Speaker 1: Do you meditate?
Speaker 4: I do.
Speaker 2: I'm not very good at it.
Speaker 1: What does that mean? You're not good at it? Though?
Speaker 2: It's hard for me to center my brain, So I
Speaker 2: do it more through breath work.
Speaker 1: I hear you, I hear you. Yeah, I feel the same,
Speaker 1: do you. I mean I studied transcendental meditation. I mean
Speaker 1: I went full on the for that that period as
Speaker 1: soon as I got separated. But it's hard because I
Speaker 1: am a competitor obviously, you know, my whole life, I
Speaker 1: compete with myself, and it's like hard to not shame
Speaker 1: myself when I don't do it twice a day every
Speaker 1: day for you know, god knows how long, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: twenty minutes twice a day. It's like then there's like
Speaker 1: uh oh, then the shame and like I'm like okay.
Speaker 1: So we're working on that though. I mean, it's better
Speaker 1: doing it once a week than nothing at all, right,
Speaker 1: So we're just taking it one day at a time,
Speaker 1: like my addiction. So I want to pick your brain
Speaker 1: a little bit before I let you go. Do you
Speaker 1: watch reality TV or is that just not of interest?
Speaker 1: You watch Love is Blind?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 2: I love the trashiest ones only which ones? So like
Speaker 2: the trashier the better, Like ninety Day Fiance.
Speaker 1: Oh, I haven't seen that yet. I don't think I
Speaker 1: like trashy though. See I can't even watch the really
Speaker 1: long seasoned one. What's that one called?
Speaker 2: It doesn't matter, you just pop in, I GISs.
Speaker 1: A lot of my dog gets anxiety when they hear
Speaker 1: she he hears people like yelling?
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh worth it? So ninety Day Fiance is amazing.
Speaker 2: Love is Blind? I love Traders. Yeah, that's all I
Speaker 2: can think of right now.
Speaker 1: Do you watch Housewives?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: That's okay, Mad saying that I feel bad why I.
Speaker 2: Don't know, you know, I like, I'm a part of
Speaker 2: this fraternity of sisterhood, and I feel like I'm not
Speaker 2: being supportive.
Speaker 1: I hear you. I mean, look, if it wasn't my
Speaker 1: job to watch Dancing with the Stars, I don't think
Speaker 1: I would either. So really it's a little bit like
Speaker 1: and that's okay because I think when you know the
Speaker 1: ins and outs of something, it just doesn't hit the
Speaker 1: same as if, like if I were on Love is blind.
Speaker 1: I probably wouldn't watch it either, because it's kind of like, great,
Speaker 1: they barely use anything that we talked about, you know.
Speaker 2: I could see that also, like in a weird human way,
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm I'm like the one who's who
Speaker 2: can't sit at the table. I'm the one who's left
Speaker 2: out and wasn't invited to the party.
Speaker 1: Oh do you Is that true?
Speaker 4: Well?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I'm not on the show, but yeah,
Speaker 2: it's I mean I've been off for gosh, almost a decade.
Speaker 2: Now would you go back?
Speaker 4: I don't.
Speaker 2: I mean maybe yeah. I think like life's really different,
Speaker 2: so it's it's hard to say. You like, I would
Speaker 2: want to be more private with my children now that
Speaker 2: they're older and they like they're individual. Before they were
Speaker 2: just like extensions of me and babies and like just
Speaker 2: goga googa, And now they they're real people with their
Speaker 2: own lives and.
Speaker 1: Problems, personalities and opinions. What do you think of Gretchen
Speaker 1: coming back?
Speaker 2: I'm excited. I think it's great.
Speaker 6: I like, I like them bringing back people, and I think, like,
Speaker 6: I don't know about other franchises, but oh C has
Speaker 6: a really good camaraderie of peace, like I still talk
Speaker 6: to a lot of people, most of them I was
Speaker 6: on the show with and.
Speaker 1: That's good, feels good. Yeah, I think you would be perfect.
Speaker 1: They should definitely bring you back. I the last time
Speaker 1: I watched Housewives, was you on it? I think, Oh,
Speaker 1: I mean I don't. I barely watch television, and if
Speaker 1: I do, it's like in the background, just background noise.
Speaker 1: It as much as blind. Yeah, I've always I pitched
Speaker 1: the president of Netflix recently, I'm like, they should do
Speaker 1: a celebrity version and he's like, well, that just won't work,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, but we can. We can make it
Speaker 1: work if we change our voices. Yes, we can. We
Speaker 1: can make it work.
Speaker 2: Change our voices.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like so that the voice wouldn't necessarily like when
Speaker 1: you're talking to them with.
Speaker 2: The wall robot voice.
Speaker 1: No, it doesn't have to. I mean, listen, there's AI nowadays.
Speaker 1: It could be a porn porno voice, like I have
Speaker 1: porn star voice. I don't know. Whatever you want, you
Speaker 1: get to choose.
Speaker 2: You just change your name, change your name, or just.
Speaker 1: Don't talk about your career. There's like certain rules.
Speaker 2: Wait, that would be so good, Cheryl.
Speaker 1: I know, thank you?
Speaker 2: Would you go on it?
Speaker 1: Yes, that's why I pitched it.
Speaker 2: But you don't even want to date.
Speaker 1: Well, it's different when you're dating a wall. I love
Speaker 1: dating walls. I've been dating four walls here in this home.
Speaker 2: Huh until you marry them on love is line?
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, it's all temporary, isn't it? Just like
Speaker 1: our lives? Okay? Would you go on Traders one million?
Speaker 1: You would be great?
Speaker 2: Which one on which you do it together? Trades or faithful? No?
Speaker 1: I don't think you can be a trader. I know
Speaker 1: you would be someone that someone would say you're a trader,
Speaker 1: like you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: I think I would really be good at it.
Speaker 1: You would be good? Yeah, thank you would be. They're
Speaker 1: going to have like ten thousand seasons, so don't worry
Speaker 1: exactly we'll be on the ten thousandth one.
Speaker 2: Well hopefully not that far.
Speaker 1: But thank you so much. Thanks for having me, thanks
Speaker 1: for being vulnerable, and for everything that you just speak
Speaker 1: speak of. It's not easy.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: I loved that conversation with Megan, and I just love
Speaker 1: how real she is and you know, she's just honestly
Speaker 1: living day by day. Are you guys navigating what your
Speaker 1: I do? Part two could look like need some dating advice,
Speaker 1: Call us or email us, follow us on socials. All
Speaker 1: the information will be in the show notes. Make sure
Speaker 1: to rate and review the podcast. I Do Part two
Speaker 1: an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main
Speaker 1: objective