1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,520
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, your og Okay

2
00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:05,880
Speaker 1: story Time podcast hosts, and we got some delicious, juicy

3
00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:08,640
Speaker 1: stories coming up. But if you want to hear that deliciousness,

4
00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:10,799
Speaker 1: you know, just stick around for a two minute break

5
00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:14,080
Speaker 1: with a word from our sponsors. My manager mistreated me,

6
00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:16,840
Speaker 1: so I got her fired. Ooo.

7
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:18,520
Speaker 2: How do you like that?

8
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:23,279
Speaker 1: Get smoked? Dork I twenty six, female, moved away from

9
00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:25,759
Speaker 1: home to start a new job a year ago. Two

10
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,840
Speaker 1: months ago, my boss assigned me to stay for two

11
00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:32,400
Speaker 1: weeks in my home city for a couple of big projects.

12
00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:36,000
Speaker 1: As the office there just opened, I was greeted by

13
00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:39,480
Speaker 1: one of the managers, Charlotte. By the way, this comes

14
00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:41,880
Speaker 1: from user wine Soda And if you want to submit

15
00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:44,360
Speaker 1: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay story

16
00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:45,000
Speaker 1: Time still brought it.

17
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:48,720
Speaker 3: I'm Dakota, I'm Angie, I'm Carly, and we are here

18
00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:49,680
Speaker 3: to give you good advice.

19
00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:53,200
Speaker 1: Goofy, But we don't have all the answers. We really

20
00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:54,800
Speaker 1: know what we would do, so if you would do

21
00:00:54,840 --> 00:01:00,120
Speaker 1: something different, let us know in the comments. And op says.

22
00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:04,040
Speaker 1: Female was pretty easy to work with and easy to

23
00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:07,440
Speaker 1: get along with. In our first project, we organized a

24
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:09,840
Speaker 1: work event together, and she went out of her way

25
00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:12,840
Speaker 1: to introduce me to people around the office and made

26
00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:15,920
Speaker 1: sure I didn't feel left out. After a successful event,

27
00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:18,080
Speaker 1: she invited me out for drinks in a nearby bar

28
00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:21,360
Speaker 1: with her teammate. Nothing much happened at the time. The

29
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,720
Speaker 1: three of us talked a lot, and Charlotte made sure

30
00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:26,720
Speaker 1: I was comfortable with the place, even suggesting we find

31
00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:29,240
Speaker 1: another place when she saw I was getting overwhelmed with

32
00:01:29,319 --> 00:01:31,880
Speaker 1: the loud music. When it was time to go home,

33
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:35,000
Speaker 1: she messaged me on our work chat to check if

34
00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:37,679
Speaker 1: I was able to go home safely. After that, Charlotte

35
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,360
Speaker 1: and I became friends. We didn't have much interaction in

36
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,920
Speaker 1: the next few days since we worked in different departments,

37
00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:46,039
Speaker 1: just a friendly high and small talk whenever we would

38
00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:48,800
Speaker 1: run into each other. A few days later, Charlotte and

39
00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:52,240
Speaker 1: I had another project together, another short event that we

40
00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:56,120
Speaker 1: were organizing. The event went smoothly. After we'd clocked out,

41
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,320
Speaker 1: Charlotte asked if I'd be down to have dinner with

42
00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:01,360
Speaker 1: her before we both go home. I didn't mind grabbing

43
00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:05,080
Speaker 1: a bike and I didn't have other plans, so I said, Eh,

44
00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:09,200
Speaker 1: why not? Why now I'm gonna go get a little

45
00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:10,440
Speaker 1: dinner with Charlie.

46
00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:14,400
Speaker 2: No big deal, We're just getting dinner.

47
00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:17,360
Speaker 1: Is she okay? So? Is what is Charlotte gonna be?

48
00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:17,520
Speaker 4: Like?

49
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:22,240
Speaker 1: I love you, and I think she's gonna make close marriage.

50
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,440
Speaker 2: She's just gonna jump straight to it, get him a

51
00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:26,440
Speaker 2: shiny diamond ring, and.

52
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:30,000
Speaker 1: She's gonna go straight to you need to marry me. Yep.

53
00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:31,840
Speaker 1: I will be at your wife.

54
00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:36,600
Speaker 3: She's gonna skip the whole courting phase, and then they're

55
00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:37,720
Speaker 3: gonna have children together.

56
00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:41,200
Speaker 1: You are going to meet my parents tomorrow, yep, and

57
00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:44,320
Speaker 1: they will marry us. Charlotte, what happened to your voice?

58
00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:49,960
Speaker 1: We're talking like that. Charlotte's scaring me, like I ate

59
00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:55,000
Speaker 1: too fast. So she took me to a nearby diner

60
00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:58,520
Speaker 1: that she liked. While walking, Charlotte and I kept the

61
00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:03,680
Speaker 1: conversation flowing, just anything and everything we could think about.

62
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:07,919
Speaker 1: Then I noticed Charlotte casually grabbing my arm and holding

63
00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:13,160
Speaker 1: my hand while walking. At first, I was like five

64
00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:17,840
Speaker 1: question marks, because I'm not the type for physical contact,

65
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:21,760
Speaker 1: especially when I'm not particularly close with the person. When

66
00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:24,239
Speaker 1: we sat down at our table, Charlotte seemed a lot

67
00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:28,600
Speaker 1: more touchy, bro, So you were like five question marks.

68
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:34,640
Speaker 1: But like silently, you were just like, as she holds

69
00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:38,600
Speaker 1: my hand, just yeah, maybe like pull your hand away

70
00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:40,640
Speaker 1: and say that's kind of funny.

71
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:43,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, Bro doesn't know that this is a date and

72
00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:47,120
Speaker 3: agree to a date. He's just now finding out that

73
00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:49,200
Speaker 3: this might be more than just dinner.

74
00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:52,960
Speaker 1: Why don't you want to hold my hand? I am

75
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:57,040
Speaker 1: your wife. Charlotte was randomly holding my hand or touching

76
00:03:57,040 --> 00:04:01,200
Speaker 1: my arm while talking. Honestly, it was getting uncomfortable, but

77
00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:04,400
Speaker 1: I brushed it aside because one, she's still a manager

78
00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:06,680
Speaker 1: and out ranks me, so I still have to be

79
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:09,520
Speaker 1: mindful what I stay or do, and two I was

80
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,400
Speaker 1: probably just overthinking it. Bro shut up.

81
00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:16,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, I forgot that she was his boss. That definitely

82
00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:17,320
Speaker 2: changes the situation.

83
00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:18,839
Speaker 1: You are my superior.

84
00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:22,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, wonder he was so oblivious thinking that it

85
00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:22,920
Speaker 3: was not a date.

86
00:04:23,279 --> 00:04:23,799
Speaker 2: Makes sense.

87
00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:26,400
Speaker 1: When I got home, all I could think about that

88
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:30,400
Speaker 1: dinner was that was weird. But again I tried to

89
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,200
Speaker 1: brush it off, thinking it's just her being friendly and

90
00:04:33,279 --> 00:04:36,320
Speaker 1: comfortable with me. The next day, though, was the one

91
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:39,360
Speaker 1: that made everything spiral out of control. I was stuck

92
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:41,320
Speaker 1: in my office for the entire day as I had

93
00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:43,560
Speaker 1: a lot to finish. It was a rough day for

94
00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:46,240
Speaker 1: me anyway. I clocked out and wanted to go home

95
00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:49,520
Speaker 1: asap to sleep off this particularly bad day at work.

96
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:51,520
Speaker 1: But as soon as I got out of our building,

97
00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:55,920
Speaker 1: I ran into Charlotte and two other managers, Hank and Alden.

98
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,400
Speaker 1: They cornered me and insisted I go with them for drinks.

99
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,760
Speaker 1: Felt like I couldn't say no to them since the

100
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:05,640
Speaker 1: three of them are literally managers versus just me. Yes,

101
00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:08,640
Speaker 1: I have problems saying no to people in authority. We

102
00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:10,719
Speaker 1: went to the bar that Charlotte first took me to

103
00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:13,600
Speaker 1: after our first event. I didn't feel like drinking at

104
00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,760
Speaker 1: the time, so I ordered soda, but Hank and Alden

105
00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:17,920
Speaker 1: insisted that I have a few glasses. Bro that your

106
00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:21,800
Speaker 1: manager suck. I'm sorry. Hank and Alden were pretty much

107
00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,919
Speaker 1: grilling me with personal questions, trying to get to know me,

108
00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:28,240
Speaker 1: but in an intense way. They asked me if I

109
00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:31,240
Speaker 1: was single or in a relationship. After I said I

110
00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:33,960
Speaker 1: wasn't with anyone at the moment, they kept bombarding me

111
00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:37,320
Speaker 1: with more personal questions, like what kind of guys I

112
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:40,600
Speaker 1: was into, and who among the company's leaders and executive

113
00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:45,160
Speaker 1: were my closest type of guys jokes on them because

114
00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:48,840
Speaker 1: I wasn't even into guys. But that's definitely not a

115
00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:51,840
Speaker 1: fact that I wanted to tell them. I mean, I'm

116
00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:55,440
Speaker 1: not a closeted lover of women. I'm already out to

117
00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:57,880
Speaker 1: my family, but it wasn't a topic I liked to

118
00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:02,400
Speaker 1: talk about at work or with people I just met. Anyway,

119
00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:04,559
Speaker 1: I was stressing out because Hank and all didn't manage

120
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,080
Speaker 1: to figure out I wasn't into guys, and I didn't

121
00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:09,760
Speaker 1: know how else to answer their questions without outing myself.

122
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,440
Speaker 1: And while all that was going on, Charlotte was a

123
00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:16,520
Speaker 1: totally different problem. While also joining in the conversation, she

124
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,520
Speaker 1: was drinking a lot more than us and got wasted first.

125
00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:23,040
Speaker 1: And while joining in the conversation she got a lot

126
00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:26,479
Speaker 1: more touchy than last time. She still grabbed my arm

127
00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:29,360
Speaker 1: or held my hand. There was even one point where

128
00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:32,080
Speaker 1: she was trying to talk over me and she grabbed

129
00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:35,159
Speaker 1: me by the chin so I would face her.

130
00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:41,599
Speaker 2: This is all so insane. HR, HR, HR, you need

131
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:41,800
Speaker 2: to go.

132
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:50,520
Speaker 1: She gotta go to HR, And that's what HR sounds like.

133
00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:54,920
Speaker 1: I And yeah, you gotta kind of go, get get

134
00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:57,800
Speaker 1: that dog in you and go to HR. And be like,

135
00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:02,640
Speaker 1: you know, my managers are literal out of control.

136
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:03,960
Speaker 2: Out of control, all three of them.

137
00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:08,120
Speaker 3: The girls making moves on OPI, and then the guys

138
00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:11,080
Speaker 3: are asking way too many personal relationship questions.

139
00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:12,280
Speaker 2: It's all bad.

140
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:13,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just really weird.

141
00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:14,440
Speaker 2: It's all bad.

142
00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:17,840
Speaker 1: Once she grabbed my chin, I definitely just wanted to

143
00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:20,320
Speaker 1: go home and cry because I felt so uncomfortable and

144
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:23,240
Speaker 1: overwhelmed with the three of them, not to mention, it

145
00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:25,480
Speaker 1: was so draining trying to keep up with smiling and

146
00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:27,440
Speaker 1: making it look like I was having a nice time

147
00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:30,440
Speaker 1: with them. I hope you go to therapy of some

148
00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,320
Speaker 1: kind and get it addressed, because you know, you can

149
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:35,120
Speaker 1: say no to these people, and like, I know you

150
00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:37,200
Speaker 1: said you have problems saying no to authority, but it's

151
00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:38,920
Speaker 1: like it's good to be aware of that and then

152
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,240
Speaker 1: like take steps to you know, work on it, because

153
00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:44,040
Speaker 1: you could have just been like, no, I'm not really

154
00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:46,040
Speaker 1: gonna go out. I just want to go home. I've

155
00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:46,800
Speaker 1: had a long day.

156
00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:50,000
Speaker 2: The situation they no, you have to come out, and

157
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:51,040
Speaker 2: you go no, I don't.

158
00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:53,679
Speaker 1: Maybe I'll get you next time, Yeah, I mean, short

159
00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,920
Speaker 1: of them restraining you and putting you in a car,

160
00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:59,240
Speaker 1: which would I think be a bigger problem in and

161
00:07:59,280 --> 00:07:59,920
Speaker 1: of itself.

162
00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:03,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, because we understand that, like it's it's the pressure

163
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:06,240
Speaker 3: and stuff, you know that, it's like, that's such an

164
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:09,320
Speaker 3: uncomfortable situation that you're in. But but yeah, I feel

165
00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:14,280
Speaker 3: like therapy could definitely help push past that uncomfortability.

166
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:15,200
Speaker 2: You know.

167
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:20,559
Speaker 1: Sorry, I just had a thought that wasn't that wasn't funny,

168
00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:22,640
Speaker 1: But I just thought, if you ever really need to

169
00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:25,160
Speaker 1: get out of it, just tell me of diarrhea. Ha.

170
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:28,800
Speaker 1: No one ever is going to push someone with diarrhea

171
00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:29,240
Speaker 1: to hang out.

172
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:31,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, just like so sorry, I would love to, but

173
00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:33,199
Speaker 3: I'm literally about to poo my pants and it's about

174
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:34,640
Speaker 3: to get real stinky up in here.

175
00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:36,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I have I have diarrhea.

176
00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:39,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, I straight up I'm gonna pull my pants.

177
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,920
Speaker 1: I would love to hang out, but I have diary.

178
00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:44,559
Speaker 3: Suddenly, your hand on my chin makes me really have

179
00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:48,560
Speaker 3: to pooh my pants. I better not so it doesn't

180
00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:50,480
Speaker 3: get stinky in the taste of your drinks.

181
00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:56,360
Speaker 1: I can't trust anything, right, and neither should you. It

182
00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:58,920
Speaker 1: was getting pretty late and they could see that I

183
00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,640
Speaker 1: was getting wasted and was starting to doze off. They

184
00:09:01,679 --> 00:09:04,440
Speaker 1: insisted that they take me home, since Hank had a

185
00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:07,160
Speaker 1: car and he was dropping off Charlotte to her place

186
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:10,120
Speaker 1: as well. I still took the offer, and thank god

187
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:11,679
Speaker 1: I did, because as soon as I stood up, I

188
00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:14,839
Speaker 1: could barely stand and walk in a straight line. Hank

189
00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:17,120
Speaker 1: parked his car a little bit from the bar, so

190
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,720
Speaker 1: we had to walk for a few minutes. While walking,

191
00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:22,760
Speaker 1: Charlotte was also wasted and could barely walk. I don't

192
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:26,040
Speaker 1: know how messed up she was, but it was enough

193
00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:28,120
Speaker 1: that she put her arm around me and pulled me

194
00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:30,920
Speaker 1: closer to her. Let me tell you that the panic

195
00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:34,120
Speaker 1: sobered me up pretty fast. And I say panic because

196
00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:37,240
Speaker 1: overwhelmed and uncomfortable is an understatement to how I was

197
00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:39,920
Speaker 1: feeling already. To cut the story short, Charlotte was just

198
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:42,520
Speaker 1: as touchy for the remainder of my stay in that office.

199
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:46,640
Speaker 1: Not enough to call it spicy intimidation or you know,

200
00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:50,280
Speaker 1: something that could be prosecuted, but definitely made me feel

201
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:52,520
Speaker 1: uncomfortable around her. As soon as I got back, I

202
00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:55,040
Speaker 1: reported what happened to my manager, who then reported it

203
00:09:55,040 --> 00:10:00,320
Speaker 1: to h R. Yay another great way. I mean, sure,

204
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:02,320
Speaker 1: you guys were both a little messed up, but you know,

205
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:05,679
Speaker 1: Charlotte's pulling you close. Another great way is just do

206
00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:09,120
Speaker 1: And then they're like, oh, actually I don't. I think

207
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:11,400
Speaker 1: I'll stay away a little bit. You just gotta hit

208
00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:12,080
Speaker 1: them with that one.

209
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:14,640
Speaker 3: I wouldn't do that because you're gonna smell my poo

210
00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:15,560
Speaker 3: in my pants.

211
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:19,880
Speaker 2: Don't get too close.

212
00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:25,160
Speaker 1: You got exact candor, and it's like, I wouldn't do that.

213
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:29,600
Speaker 1: You're gonna smell the pool in my pants. I got diarrhea.

214
00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:33,120
Speaker 3: You're gonna get stick in your in your bubble, in

215
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,160
Speaker 3: your personal bubble.

216
00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:44,240
Speaker 1: Is so before anyone asks Charlotte isn't into girls? Yeah? Yeah,

217
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:51,080
Speaker 1: did you read your story? You typed it? You read it.

218
00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:52,000
Speaker 1: I feel like.

219
00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:53,880
Speaker 2: Your gatar knows better than that.

220
00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:59,280
Speaker 1: Am At least she mentioned having a boyfriend in the past.

221
00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:01,439
Speaker 1: She trying to make you her boyfriend.

222
00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:02,199
Speaker 3: Girl.

223
00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:03,600
Speaker 2: You're about to be her boyfriend.

224
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:08,359
Speaker 1: You could be your girlfriend boyfriend anyway. Charlotte gets suspended

225
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:12,720
Speaker 1: for a month and HR conducted an investigation. I'm in therapy,

226
00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:13,520
Speaker 1: let's go.

227
00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:14,400
Speaker 2: Let's go.

228
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:16,160
Speaker 1: We did it. We did it.

229
00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:17,040
Speaker 2: Oh so far?

230
00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:20,280
Speaker 1: Okay, and just a few days ago. HR's final decision

231
00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:23,440
Speaker 1: was to fire Charlotte and put Hank and Alden in

232
00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:30,320
Speaker 1: a tight ep. What's a PIP performance improvement plan? Nice?

233
00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:34,080
Speaker 1: Even though I'm in therapy, I still feel so much guilt.

234
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:38,000
Speaker 1: Oh I feel like this was all partly my fault. Yeah,

235
00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:39,800
Speaker 1: oh Pee? How dare you exist?

236
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:43,200
Speaker 2: How dare you exist and work for terrible people?

237
00:11:43,559 --> 00:11:46,840
Speaker 1: Yeah? If you weren't so hot and cool, people wouldn't

238
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:47,520
Speaker 1: be so into you.

239
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,479
Speaker 2: Yeah? How dare you pull your pants?

240
00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:54,880
Speaker 1: This is all your fault for not having diarrhea.

241
00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:56,920
Speaker 2: Yeah.

242
00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:00,199
Speaker 1: I could have just kept quiet. Maybe I was overthinking

243
00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:02,280
Speaker 1: all that. I should have just sucked it up and

244
00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:06,040
Speaker 1: moved on. No, they literally fired her for good reason. Yeah. No,

245
00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:08,520
Speaker 1: you're good. You did a good thing. You did the

246
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:09,120
Speaker 1: right thing.

247
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:12,000
Speaker 2: Hopefully, therapy, can you teach you that?

248
00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:15,000
Speaker 1: I hope so. I feel like if I had just

249
00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:17,520
Speaker 1: been tougher and stronger, I could have just let it go.

250
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:19,719
Speaker 1: I could have talked to Charlotte that what she did

251
00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:21,679
Speaker 1: made me uncomfortable, and we could just set a lip

252
00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:24,080
Speaker 1: between us. I could have just stayed quiet so no

253
00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:25,800
Speaker 1: one gets hurt or fired. No, that would have just

254
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:27,600
Speaker 1: hurt you, and she would have been weird with you,

255
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:32,040
Speaker 1: and then you would have probably been ostracized and made

256
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:34,959
Speaker 1: even more uncomfortable in different ways. A few days ago,

257
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:38,320
Speaker 1: I stumbled upon Charlotte's Instagram account. I didn't go through

258
00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:40,120
Speaker 1: her account, but I did take a screenshot of it

259
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,480
Speaker 1: because a part of me really wants to reach out

260
00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:44,600
Speaker 1: and tell her I'm sorry. Don't do that. You shouldn't

261
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:46,880
Speaker 1: be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for.

262
00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:50,920
Speaker 2: She was pestering you. She was legally he.

263
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:55,360
Speaker 1: Was illegally pestering you legally a weak press environment. She

264
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,000
Speaker 1: was really pestering me.

265
00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:59,760
Speaker 2: I'm calling Egle pest mint.

266
00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:08,760
Speaker 1: I'm calling the illegal testament of the water. He's funny, guys.

267
00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:15,040
Speaker 2: I'm gonna pull my whole UF.

268
00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:19,679
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do. Reddit, do you think

269
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:22,240
Speaker 1: I'm in the wrong here? Should I send her a message?

270
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,640
Speaker 1: Do you think it's right for me to apologize? What

271
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:28,360
Speaker 1: can I do that won't make things worse? Update? No way,

272
00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:30,839
Speaker 1: we had no comments. I was really hoping that you

273
00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:33,839
Speaker 1: could read the Internet supporting you, because I'm sure that's

274
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:36,800
Speaker 1: what they did. You don't need to reach out. I wouldn't.

275
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:39,959
Speaker 3: Yeah, I honestly think that would not be a good

276
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:43,040
Speaker 3: idea for yourself and just for the whole situation, like

277
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:46,560
Speaker 3: for your own mental being because it would remind yourself

278
00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:50,480
Speaker 3: or would support the idea that you're guilty, which is

279
00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:52,920
Speaker 3: not true. But then also just for the situation, I

280
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:56,200
Speaker 3: feel like then now it might open some sort of

281
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,880
Speaker 3: gates for her to contact you more, since you're so

282
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,760
Speaker 3: casual about it, you know. So I think it's a

283
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,000
Speaker 3: badady all around.

284
00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,679
Speaker 1: If anyone's gonna apologize, it should be her reaching out

285
00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:09,760
Speaker 1: to you somehow to say, hey, I'm sorry, you know

286
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:13,480
Speaker 1: my actions caused you to feel this way and blah

287
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,320
Speaker 1: blah blah, I was in the wrong. Even then, I

288
00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:18,960
Speaker 1: don't think either of you really need to have any

289
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:23,320
Speaker 1: form of communication moving forward. Agreed, you can just silently

290
00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:26,080
Speaker 1: wish each other the best and there's an update. So

291
00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:29,920
Speaker 1: being in therapy really helped me process what happened. Good.

292
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:30,440
Speaker 2: Great.

293
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,920
Speaker 1: I'm still continuing my sessions, which I think is going

294
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,120
Speaker 1: well since I can now talk about it with people.

295
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:39,000
Speaker 1: It's still not easy to talk about, but at least

296
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,440
Speaker 1: now I've learned to know which people I can trust

297
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,000
Speaker 1: who tell my story. I've shared what happened to two

298
00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:46,880
Speaker 1: of my seniors in the team, and they've been very

299
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:49,600
Speaker 1: patient with me since the beginning. They did notice that

300
00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:52,200
Speaker 1: something was bothering me quite a lot, but not once

301
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,800
Speaker 1: did they push me to tell them what I was

302
00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:57,120
Speaker 1: going through. They told me that they were willing to

303
00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:59,440
Speaker 1: listen once I'm ready to tell them, and I finally

304
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:02,040
Speaker 1: found the curve bridge to share my story. They were

305
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:05,360
Speaker 1: shocked and were upset for me, but they were also

306
00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:08,800
Speaker 1: very supportive. One of them, let's call him Alex, no

307
00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:11,440
Speaker 1: real names here, told me that he had a feeling

308
00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:14,320
Speaker 1: that what happened with me had something to do with Charlotte.

309
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:16,480
Speaker 1: He said that it was too much of a coincidence

310
00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:19,080
Speaker 1: that I came back to our main office looking depressed

311
00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:22,320
Speaker 1: and traumatized at the same time that news spread that

312
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:27,000
Speaker 1: Charlotte was suddenly suspended. Anyway, Alex gave me some background

313
00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:29,480
Speaker 1: about Charlotte, since they used to be in the same team.

314
00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:32,760
Speaker 1: He told me she had always been like that, touchy

315
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:35,120
Speaker 1: and overly friendly when it came to girls and women.

316
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:38,440
Speaker 1: He also confirmed that Charlotte is into women.

317
00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:42,520
Speaker 2: We notice, we know this, stop the presence.

318
00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:45,600
Speaker 1: We've got breaking news.

319
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:48,760
Speaker 2: Breaking news. A woman who's overly touchy to other women

320
00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:50,200
Speaker 2: is into women.

321
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:54,160
Speaker 1: Who she literally grabbed your chin like a come over here,

322
00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:54,880
Speaker 1: a sweetheart.

323
00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:57,080
Speaker 2: He oh, I hear it Dland.

324
00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:01,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh no, what is her name?

325
00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:03,240
Speaker 2: Uh? I don't know.

326
00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:07,640
Speaker 1: Uh, that's probably like that Transatlantic accent. God, who is

327
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:08,360
Speaker 1: that intress?

328
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:09,120
Speaker 3: Was it?

329
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:12,280
Speaker 1: Hepburl of Audrey, hepban kit brand should play at it? Yeah,

330
00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:14,920
Speaker 1: how it was? She was in the aviator.

331
00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:15,680
Speaker 2: Cutly, I don't know.

332
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:16,760
Speaker 1: Surely, I don't know.

333
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:20,440
Speaker 3: But what I do know is that fat woman is gay.

334
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:28,040
Speaker 1: We got it, lock it down. She dated guys in

335
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:31,120
Speaker 1: the past, but she also dated women. She was pretty

336
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:34,440
Speaker 1: active in the LGBTQ plus initiatives of the company, and

337
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:38,280
Speaker 1: she doesn't deny being in the community, though Alex says

338
00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:42,320
Speaker 1: she's a lot like me, who's not very vocal about

339
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:47,360
Speaker 1: her spicy protivity and labels. Either she's just Italian. She

340
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:49,720
Speaker 1: speaks with her hands. Is he gay?

341
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:53,840
Speaker 2: Or you're Repeian? You're a pain in your pant.

342
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:57,760
Speaker 1: Oh, another great way to get out of an offer

343
00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:00,920
Speaker 1: to go out. Sorry, I just heed my pants.

344
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:04,600
Speaker 2: Actually have to go home in my pants.

345
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:10,760
Speaker 1: I peed right in my pants. I love that kid,

346
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:16,359
Speaker 1: my pants pants. Honestly, I kind of wish you didn't

347
00:17:16,359 --> 00:17:18,520
Speaker 1: tell me all of that, because it made the gravity

348
00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:21,160
Speaker 1: of her actions feel a lot heavier, and it made

349
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:23,720
Speaker 1: me think of even more questions that I know I'll

350
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,880
Speaker 1: never get the answers to. Did Charlotte try to get

351
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:30,120
Speaker 1: me wasted on purpose? I mean probably not. Were her

352
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:32,919
Speaker 1: actions just friendly or did she have any malicious intent?

353
00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:36,080
Speaker 1: Was Charlotte even wasted or was she just pretending to

354
00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:38,880
Speaker 1: be that wasted. Alex mentioned drinking with her a couple

355
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,720
Speaker 1: of times when they were in the same team, and

356
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:43,280
Speaker 1: it takes so long for Charlotte to get wasted, like

357
00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:46,320
Speaker 1: they were all pretty smashed, but Charlotte was still going

358
00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:49,440
Speaker 1: strong downing shots. Also, I think it's worth mentioning that

359
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:51,879
Speaker 1: Charlotte and I are in the same city. I found

360
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,160
Speaker 1: out that the grape Vine that the city I moved

361
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,840
Speaker 1: to is her home city. But it's a big city,

362
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:58,600
Speaker 1: so the chances of me and her running into each

363
00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:00,680
Speaker 1: other are pretty slim, though I I hope we never

364
00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:04,560
Speaker 1: see each other ever again. Against all your advice, I

365
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:09,680
Speaker 1: did message Charlotte, why you do that? You even said it,

366
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:13,760
Speaker 1: You quin against everyone's advice you just deliver. Reached out

367
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,240
Speaker 1: to that Charlotte, why would you do such a thing?

368
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:18,720
Speaker 1: Just a quick and short message saying it wasn't my

369
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:21,440
Speaker 1: intention to get her fired? And that I tried telling

370
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,160
Speaker 1: HR I didn't want her fired and that I wish

371
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:27,000
Speaker 1: her well in life. I deleted the inbox so I

372
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:30,040
Speaker 1: wouldn't see if she'd seen the message or what. I

373
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:32,560
Speaker 1: don't expect her to reply, though, if anything, i'd expect

374
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:35,040
Speaker 1: her to block me. I told Alex that I sent

375
00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:38,240
Speaker 1: Charlotte a message, but I didn't expect to reply. Alex

376
00:18:38,359 --> 00:18:41,240
Speaker 1: then asked me, is there any chance or possibility that

377
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:44,360
Speaker 1: you like or are in love with Charlotte? Those are

378
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,920
Speaker 1: his exact words, and I remember it exactly because it's

379
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,800
Speaker 1: been bothering me for a while, and honestly, I don't

380
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:55,320
Speaker 1: even know how to answer. You answer with a resounding no. Yep,

381
00:18:56,880 --> 00:19:00,720
Speaker 1: las no, I'm sure you don't. Look when it comes

382
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:03,440
Speaker 1: to HR, we don't get to decide once it gets

383
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:06,000
Speaker 1: brought to HR. In the company get to decide, Oh,

384
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:10,400
Speaker 1: Charlotte is a insane liability to have at the company.

385
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:13,600
Speaker 1: If she's going to a ligament pestument all of our

386
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:18,200
Speaker 1: female workers in a position of authority, So she's out. Yep,

387
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:20,359
Speaker 1: you know it's out of your hands. At that point.

388
00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:22,400
Speaker 1: We do have a little bit more story left. Any

389
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:24,040
Speaker 1: final thoughts before we finish it up.

390
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:26,640
Speaker 3: My final thoughts are, let's get as far away from

391
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:30,560
Speaker 3: this woman as humanly possible, and that includes digitally.

392
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,600
Speaker 2: Let's get digitally far away.

393
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:36,320
Speaker 3: I think you should block her, perhaps, and instead of

394
00:19:36,359 --> 00:19:37,480
Speaker 3: waiting for her to block you.

395
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:40,080
Speaker 1: That could be a good idea. I'm sorry that you're

396
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,639
Speaker 1: feeling so guilty. You really didn't do anything wrong.

397
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:45,040
Speaker 3: I think that would be an important thing to tell

398
00:19:45,119 --> 00:19:47,480
Speaker 3: your therapist that's how you're feeling, and I'm sure you

399
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:48,840
Speaker 3: have so keep.

400
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:49,239
Speaker 2: Working on that.

401
00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:52,160
Speaker 1: So it feels like if you were like walking across

402
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:55,040
Speaker 1: the street, like in a crosswalk at the right time,

403
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,879
Speaker 1: you get the green light, and some somebody just like

404
00:19:58,119 --> 00:20:01,159
Speaker 1: blows through a red light and swerves around you and

405
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,359
Speaker 1: gets to a car accident, and you're like, this is

406
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:06,560
Speaker 1: my fault. No, it was that it was the person

407
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:10,960
Speaker 1: who was recklessly driving's fault that they got into an accident.

408
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:12,600
Speaker 2: Exactly great way to put it.

409
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:15,200
Speaker 1: Maybe I just got confused. Could this be a part

410
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:18,679
Speaker 1: of the trauma? Did I overreact? Is there something fundamentally

411
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:20,840
Speaker 1: wrong with me? Wait? What how did we get here?

412
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,720
Speaker 1: How did we get here? We're here just because your

413
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,639
Speaker 1: coworker Alex asked you if you liked Charlotte when you

414
00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:31,120
Speaker 1: I'm pretty confidently I'm sure you know you don't. Yeah,

415
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,719
Speaker 1: it's definitely bothering me a lot, but I don't know

416
00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:35,840
Speaker 1: how to tell my therapist without sounding like I need

417
00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:39,680
Speaker 1: to be institutionalized or something. Babe, You're allowed. I'm just,

418
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:41,680
Speaker 1: I'm just. I just want to say that you're allowed

419
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:47,120
Speaker 1: to feel blank, to think blank some but to think

420
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:49,480
Speaker 1: and feel, not to do There are some things you

421
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:55,200
Speaker 1: shouldn't do in direct Yeah, unless you need to get

422
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:55,879
Speaker 1: out of something.

423
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:58,320
Speaker 3: If you need to get out of something, lying about

424
00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:00,639
Speaker 3: pooping your pants not allowed to do it.

425
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:04,520
Speaker 1: You have to commit to the bit Anyways. Anyways, as

426
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:06,760
Speaker 1: for Hank and Alden, I heard that Hank is under

427
00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:11,240
Speaker 1: strict observance because HR reserviced a previous complaint against him,

428
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,880
Speaker 1: and Alden has been keeping a low profile since then.

429
00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:19,320
Speaker 1: That's pretty much all from me. I'm still continuing my therapy,

430
00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:21,400
Speaker 1: and it's been a pretty bloody fight trying to get

431
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:24,320
Speaker 1: over the trauma and guilt and whatever else I've been

432
00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:26,760
Speaker 1: going through that I can't name. I hope I can

433
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:30,280
Speaker 1: learn to feel safe again, because it's definitely exhausting mentally

434
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:34,080
Speaker 1: and emotionally. And that is the end of that story. Yeah,

435
00:21:34,119 --> 00:21:36,560
Speaker 1: I think maybe be more honest with your therapist. It

436
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:39,160
Speaker 1: sounds like you maybe are keeping some stuff close too

437
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:40,200
Speaker 1: close to the vest.

438
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,879
Speaker 3: Which is understandable because even like sometimes especially if you're

439
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,159
Speaker 3: a new to therapy, you're new to a therapist or

440
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:48,360
Speaker 3: new to talking about a situation, you me uncomfortable even

441
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:50,240
Speaker 3: talking to your therapist about certain things.

442
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:52,280
Speaker 2: So hopefully you.

443
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:57,119
Speaker 3: Can get past that and uh, you know, remind yourself

444
00:21:57,119 --> 00:21:59,200
Speaker 3: that the therapist is a safe space. This is like

445
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,120
Speaker 3: exactly where you should be talking about it, where you're

446
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:03,640
Speaker 3: welcome to talk about it. I'm really hoping that those

447
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:05,919
Speaker 3: questions at the end were just her like deepest fears,

448
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:09,040
Speaker 3: and maybe she doesn't totally believe that she deserves to

449
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:11,480
Speaker 3: be in a mental institution or something like. I feel

450
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:13,880
Speaker 3: like we've gotten some stories where it's like, Okay, clearly

451
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:16,000
Speaker 3: OPI is not in the wrong, but then they still

452
00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:18,240
Speaker 3: get the question of like am I the a hole?

453
00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:21,840
Speaker 3: So I feel like what I'm hoping anyway is that

454
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:23,679
Speaker 3: she was just kind of adding those questions in to

455
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:26,520
Speaker 3: get some sort of feedback. But maybe she doesn't like

456
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:30,520
Speaker 3: not asking those questions because she genuinely believes that that

457
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:31,720
Speaker 3: is the case.

458
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:33,680
Speaker 1: You know, I certainly would hope so.

459
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:35,520
Speaker 3: But good luck to you, OPI. I think it's great

460
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,119
Speaker 3: that you're in therapy. That's like the best thing that

461
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:39,520
Speaker 3: you could do in this situation. And I'm so glad

462
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:41,600
Speaker 3: that those bosses are getting what's coming to them, and

463
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:44,879
Speaker 3: I'm glad that you reported it. I feel like maybe

464
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:47,800
Speaker 3: some of this guilt is because they're losing their jobs,

465
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:50,440
Speaker 3: but you definitely are not responsible for that, and I'm

466
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:53,239
Speaker 3: I think it was a very smart thing to report that.

467
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:55,840
Speaker 2: I think that's probably a very common thing.

468
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:57,440
Speaker 3: People don't want to report it because they don't want

469
00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:00,720
Speaker 3: to be responsible for someone losing their job. So yeah,

470
00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:03,159
Speaker 3: to anyone out there, just report it. If it's not

471
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:05,000
Speaker 3: a big deal, then that will come out in the wash.

472
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:07,680
Speaker 2: But if it is, then I will also be revealed

473
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:09,840
Speaker 2: in the investigation. So just do it.

474
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:11,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, And if they fired her, I doubt this was

475
00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:15,040
Speaker 1: the first time this has happened. But also, dude, grabbing

476
00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:16,960
Speaker 1: your chin at dinner so that you turn your head

477
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:18,680
Speaker 1: to her is yeah wild.

478
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:21,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you were like so uncomfortable to the fact

479
00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:23,760
Speaker 3: that you like left and cried after that, are you

480
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,119
Speaker 3: into the bathroom, cried or wanted to cry or something

481
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:26,480
Speaker 3: like that.

482
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:28,719
Speaker 2: I think trust that feeling.

483
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:31,439
Speaker 3: That's not just you being dramatic or something that's like

484
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:36,640
Speaker 3: your initial subconscious reaction to it, like physical reaction too.

485
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:42,359
Speaker 2: So trust yourself. You are good. They are bad. But

486
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:43,520
Speaker 2: that's the endlass story.

487
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:47,000
Speaker 3: We've got another one coming right up. My principal asked

488
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:47,639
Speaker 3: me out.

489
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:49,840
Speaker 1: He was tuned in to a teacher.

490
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:53,760
Speaker 3: For the love of God, I twenty seven female all

491
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:54,520
Speaker 3: school teacher.

492
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:55,280
Speaker 1: Thank God.

493
00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:59,440
Speaker 3: Last year we got a new principal forties male in

494
00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:03,040
Speaker 3: our school who is very unpopular amongst the teachers. He

495
00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:05,840
Speaker 3: has been very critical in all his evaluations and shared

496
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:09,160
Speaker 3: some unkind words with our teachers when he has had

497
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:11,720
Speaker 3: a criticism. By the way, this comes from it, principal

498
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:13,359
Speaker 3: asked me out, And if you want to submit your

499
00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:15,760
Speaker 3: own stories, go to the ours lash okay, storytime, separate

500
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:17,480
Speaker 3: it and I'm Angie.

501
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:20,160
Speaker 2: I'm Dakota, I'm Carly, and we're here to give good advice.

502
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:20,600
Speaker 1: Goofy.

503
00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:22,240
Speaker 2: But we don't have all the answers. We just know

504
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:23,320
Speaker 2: what we would do in the situation.

505
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:24,080
Speaker 1: So let us know what you.

506
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 2: Would do in the comments.

507
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:28,480
Speaker 3: So Opie says, I, on the other hand, have received

508
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:32,000
Speaker 3: glowing evaluations as a teacher under every observation. I have

509
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,639
Speaker 3: yet to hear mean or harsh criticisms from him, and

510
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:36,480
Speaker 3: I even got a lot of new things for my

511
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:38,879
Speaker 3: classroom this year that no other teacher got.

512
00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:41,359
Speaker 2: I'm really upset and feeling like crap.

513
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:41,680
Speaker 1: Now.

514
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:43,840
Speaker 2: I thought he appreciated me and had respect for me

515
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:45,360
Speaker 2: as a teacher. I really did.

516
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:47,480
Speaker 3: But after school today I went to his office to

517
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:50,399
Speaker 3: ask him about a semester exam for a particular student.

518
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:53,879
Speaker 3: After we discussed the student, he got up and shut

519
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:57,199
Speaker 3: the door and sat in the seat beside me. I

520
00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:59,199
Speaker 3: got a pit in my stomach because I thought I

521
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:01,800
Speaker 3: was being disciplined or something I did wrong. He then

522
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:04,200
Speaker 3: said that he had heard me saying that I get

523
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:07,120
Speaker 3: together with friends on the weekends to play cards. He

524
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:09,560
Speaker 3: asked if I'd ever like to get together just the

525
00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 3: two of us and play cards at his house.

526
00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:14,159
Speaker 1: Like, Hey, I hear'd you like to hang out and

527
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:19,479
Speaker 1: play cards? Why don't we go play solitaire? Too? Right?

528
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:26,520
Speaker 3: Okay, wait, Carly, Carly has evidence of Dakota.

529
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:28,760
Speaker 4: Wouldn't put this in the discord.

530
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:33,600
Speaker 2: Evidence of Dakota abusing this mic that is in my hands. Okay.

531
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:36,160
Speaker 3: He was very clear he did not mean it as

532
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:39,600
Speaker 3: a date because he is my direct supervisor, and that

533
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:41,639
Speaker 3: he meant it as just friends.

534
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:42,400
Speaker 2: Not sure.

535
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:44,440
Speaker 3: I believe that he just asked me not long ago

536
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:47,040
Speaker 3: if I was making another visit soon to a state

537
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:49,399
Speaker 3: where my ex boyfriend lives, and I told him that

538
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 3: I wasn't with that guy I used to visit, So no,

539
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:54,919
Speaker 3: My face got really hot and I stammered that I

540
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:58,280
Speaker 3: would not be interested in dating, but maybe sometime, because

541
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:00,399
Speaker 3: I was too nervous to say no with them sitting

542
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,639
Speaker 3: next to me. I have been really upset since I

543
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:05,199
Speaker 3: got home. I've been so stupid to actually think that

544
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,280
Speaker 3: I was a great teacher. Well, you could still be

545
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:11,200
Speaker 3: a great teacher, but just his evaluation is unreliable.

546
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:13,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wouldn't hold a lot of weight to anything

547
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 1: this guy says about anyone.

548
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:17,159
Speaker 2: I feel like it's all been a lie and I

549
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:19,199
Speaker 2: just want to curl up in a ball and cry.

550
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:21,959
Speaker 2: All of my glowing evaluations mean nothing.

551
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,440
Speaker 1: Do the kids like you? That's all that really matters.

552
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:27,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like you, they're learning things, then you're good.

553
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:29,840
Speaker 3: I planned to go to his office before school very

554
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 3: early tomorrow and tell him that I thought about it

555
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:33,520
Speaker 3: and I'm not interested and think that it would be

556
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,240
Speaker 3: a bad idea to spend time together under any circumstance.

557
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:38,560
Speaker 3: What is the best way to approach this? How do

558
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:42,240
Speaker 3: I pick up my self esteem? And there are some comments,

559
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:43,399
Speaker 3: but what do you think to.

560
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:46,880
Speaker 1: Go to movie day with the students?

561
00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:48,000
Speaker 4: Hey?

562
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,960
Speaker 1: Everyone to go oh miss ohpi's the best. We watched

563
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:52,640
Speaker 1: a movie on a Wednesday.

564
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, she let us watch a movie and she left

565
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:57,520
Speaker 3: the room. So who knows what we'll.

566
00:26:57,400 --> 00:26:57,800
Speaker 2: Get up to.

567
00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, like just focused on you, you and

568
00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:03,040
Speaker 1: your lesson plan and your your students.

569
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:07,160
Speaker 3: I think that you can like go to him and say, like, hey,

570
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:09,680
Speaker 3: on second thought, like I don't think it would ever

571
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:12,520
Speaker 3: be appropriate for me to go to your house one

572
00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:15,120
Speaker 3: on one to play cards. I think, you know, even

573
00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:17,960
Speaker 3: if we didn't date and it was platonic, I think

574
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,840
Speaker 3: it would very much look like it was a date

575
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,240
Speaker 3: and either way be very inappropriate.

576
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:26,480
Speaker 2: So I I think that's a bad idea. You could say.

577
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:28,280
Speaker 3: That too, is like I know you just said it

578
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:29,960
Speaker 3: wasn't a date to try to, like, I don't know,

579
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:31,199
Speaker 3: appease him.

580
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:33,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just the optics. I just don't want the

581
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:36,200
Speaker 1: optics of going to your house alone.

582
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:38,400
Speaker 3: Or just hanging out one on one together at all,

583
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:41,320
Speaker 3: even and then maybe you can even mention something about

584
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:45,320
Speaker 3: like like, I appreciate the good evaluation, I just want

585
00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:48,920
Speaker 3: to double check that it is not about any sort

586
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:52,919
Speaker 3: of personal feelings. Yeah, towards me, because I believe you

587
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:55,640
Speaker 3: have not asked any of the other teachers the same, but.

588
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:56,520
Speaker 2: We do have some comments.

589
00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:59,720
Speaker 3: I'm so lost one two three, four seventy nine, says

590
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:04,160
Speaker 3: responding to the idea that all my glowing evaluations mean nothing.

591
00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:06,720
Speaker 3: Just because he likes you doesn't mean that you aren't

592
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:08,680
Speaker 3: a good teacher and that your work is not excellent.

593
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,600
Speaker 3: Don't let him have such power over yourself. Do you

594
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:13,800
Speaker 3: love your students? Do you do your best to give

595
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:16,160
Speaker 3: them a good education? Do they get along with you?

596
00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:19,040
Speaker 3: Focus on that, not on him. Exactly what you were saying,

597
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:22,320
Speaker 3: Opie says. My students brighten each and every day. For me,

598
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:24,920
Speaker 3: I try to make the subject as interesting as possible,

599
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,199
Speaker 3: and I'm excited to come to school each day. I

600
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:29,520
Speaker 3: love each of my colleagues as well. They always ask

601
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:32,400
Speaker 3: me why I'm in such a good mood. I take

602
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:34,120
Speaker 3: the time to chat with them and see them as

603
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:36,000
Speaker 3: often as possible. I have been at the school two

604
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:39,200
Speaker 3: years longer than this man. Prime's Ghost says. My wife

605
00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:41,520
Speaker 3: is an elementary school teacher and her principal did the

606
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:44,920
Speaker 3: exact same thing last year. The teacher in question filed

607
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 3: a complaint with the teachers association and the superintendent the

608
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:51,600
Speaker 3: district took it super seriously, and the principle was fired

609
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 3: and replaced before the end of the school year. You

610
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:57,080
Speaker 3: should file a grievance. The principal has a lot of

611
00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:58,880
Speaker 3: power over the teachers in a school, and I can't

612
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:00,400
Speaker 3: think of a way to look at as a situation

613
00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:03,320
Speaker 3: like this without there being a serious problem. That's honestly,

614
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:05,960
Speaker 3: I didn't even think about that that you should just

615
00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:08,520
Speaker 3: report the teacher, because then you can also mention like,

616
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:11,560
Speaker 3: I don't know if it's related, but like everyone else

617
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:14,640
Speaker 3: is getting terrible reviews and I've gotten glowing reviews, and

618
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:17,160
Speaker 3: personally I think that all the other teachers are.

619
00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:19,160
Speaker 1: Very good, so you could certainly do that.

620
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:21,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, Opie says, I feel like I'm in a sticky

621
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:23,880
Speaker 3: situation because he made it clear in telling me that

622
00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:28,240
Speaker 3: he was not interested in dating, but just hanging out alone, right, Uh,

623
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:30,280
Speaker 3: what should I say to him? On the other hand,

624
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:32,240
Speaker 3: I do wonder if this could be a blessing in

625
00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:33,840
Speaker 3: disguise for all of my teacher friends.

626
00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:36,720
Speaker 2: They are so unhappy. I hate to see them miserable

627
00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 2: at work.

628
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:39,480
Speaker 3: And there is an update, But yeah, I feel like

629
00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:42,040
Speaker 3: that would reporting him and getting him fired with benevate

630
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:44,280
Speaker 3: your friends, all your teacher friends.

631
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:46,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, just make sure it stays anonymous, you know.

632
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:50,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I honestly like, I feel like the fact

633
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:52,640
Speaker 3: that he said he's not interested in dating has nothing

634
00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 3: to do with it at all. The fact that he

635
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:58,120
Speaker 3: asked to hang out one on one in his house

636
00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:01,160
Speaker 3: is not a professional thing to do at all.

637
00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:04,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, unless you were like already like besties with that guy,

638
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:05,440
Speaker 1: which you're not.

639
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:07,920
Speaker 2: Which you're not. We got to start in like group

640
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:09,600
Speaker 2: settings first, at the very least.

641
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:11,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, he asked you about the group card games. Instead

642
00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:14,160
Speaker 1: of being like, guy, come, he was like, yeah, do

643
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:15,920
Speaker 1: you want to have your own group card game at

644
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:18,360
Speaker 1: my house? Except we're the only people in the group. Yeah,

645
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,560
Speaker 1: you're playing Solitaire exactly.

646
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:22,920
Speaker 2: It's so weird. But we do have an update.

647
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:25,520
Speaker 3: Most hated man in the district. One thing I noticed

648
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:27,880
Speaker 3: in the original post is that many replies said to

649
00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:31,280
Speaker 3: contact HR immediately. Those comments were pretty out of touch

650
00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:34,200
Speaker 3: with my actual small school system. In a tiny community,

651
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:37,360
Speaker 3: the chain of command goes from principal then directly to

652
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:40,880
Speaker 3: superintendent of schools. Also, that means that transferring to another

653
00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 3: school in the district would be out of the question.

654
00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:45,360
Speaker 3: I thought comments telling me to leave or to transfer,

655
00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:47,520
Speaker 3: we're taking it a bit too far. I adore the

656
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:49,560
Speaker 3: school and I have more self respects than to just

657
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:53,040
Speaker 3: leave an uncomfortable situation. I received so much encouragement from

658
00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:55,240
Speaker 3: others in my original post. The next day after I

659
00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:57,680
Speaker 3: wrote the post, I left very early for school. I

660
00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:00,920
Speaker 3: arrived before any other teachers were there, and only mister

661
00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:04,280
Speaker 3: s in his office. I left a recorder in my pocket,

662
00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:07,000
Speaker 3: legal in my state, and walked into his office to

663
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:09,200
Speaker 3: ask if I could speak with him briefly with a

664
00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:12,400
Speaker 3: recorder on. I told him I was very uncomfortable with

665
00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:15,080
Speaker 3: being asked to spend time with you at your home alone.

666
00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:19,200
Speaker 3: He simply said okay, and I left pretty uneventful, but

667
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 3: I was worried that he would deny it happened when

668
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:22,720
Speaker 3: I reported him, so I wanted to make sure I

669
00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:24,600
Speaker 3: had something on tape, and you should still keep that

670
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:26,800
Speaker 3: tape even if he didn't deny it, because he could

671
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:29,680
Speaker 3: still deny it to others later. So in regards to

672
00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:32,600
Speaker 3: the resolution, I gave a written statement to my superintendent

673
00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 3: of schools about the incident. The school system is tiny,

674
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:38,080
Speaker 3: about six hundred students from p to twelve, so they

675
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:41,360
Speaker 3: don't have an HR and it's not unusual to go

676
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:45,000
Speaker 3: directly from principle to a superintendent, no middleman. I won't

677
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:47,040
Speaker 3: go too much into the discussion, but we came into

678
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:50,320
Speaker 3: a mutual agreement that it towed the line. He agreed

679
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:52,760
Speaker 3: to my own suggestion that I should come to him

680
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:55,520
Speaker 3: as soon as anything else happens. My main concern was

681
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:57,840
Speaker 3: that I would be treated differently after turning him down.

682
00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:01,320
Speaker 3: This actually did happen, which I will get to in.

683
00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:03,880
Speaker 1: A moment, very much to be expected.

684
00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:05,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, that surprised.

685
00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:07,200
Speaker 1: I would have pressed him a little bit more in

686
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:08,920
Speaker 1: that recording. I would have been like, I was very

687
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:10,760
Speaker 1: uncomfortable when you did that, And then he goes okay,

688
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:12,560
Speaker 1: and then you go are you sure that you didn't

689
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:17,360
Speaker 1: have any other motives? Like are you sure you know bah.

690
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:19,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just want to make it clear that you

691
00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:23,160
Speaker 3: understand that that looks exactly what you were denying like.

692
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:25,959
Speaker 3: It looks like you want to date me, right, that

693
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:29,720
Speaker 3: would be a date essentially. However, I had an unexpected

694
00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:32,080
Speaker 3: turn of events in January and ended up putting in

695
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 3: my resignation late February. Oh wow, I applied for a

696
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:38,400
Speaker 3: position closer to my hometown and have now moved back

697
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:41,520
Speaker 3: home for personal unrelated reasons an illness in the family.

698
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:42,240
Speaker 2: Oh I'm sorry.

699
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:44,760
Speaker 3: So I'm actually not in that school anymore, but I

700
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:47,120
Speaker 3: miss it very much and I hope to go back someday.

701
00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:50,240
Speaker 3: Once I had put in my resolution, nothing mister s

702
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:53,200
Speaker 3: did affected me anymore. He never made another passage and

703
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:56,160
Speaker 3: stopped talking to me completely. In fact, he stopped talking

704
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:56,680
Speaker 3: to me at all.

705
00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:58,240
Speaker 2: It was like I didn't exist.

706
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 3: He began ignoring my discipline, and I didn't even care

707
00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:03,120
Speaker 3: since I was leaving in May.

708
00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:05,760
Speaker 2: After the two years of glowing reviews from him.

709
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:07,959
Speaker 3: At the end of the year, he tore me apart

710
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:11,480
Speaker 3: in my evaluation despite having only been inside my classroom

711
00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:12,240
Speaker 3: once that year.

712
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:13,560
Speaker 2: I didn't care at all.

713
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:15,800
Speaker 1: That's exactly what I'm talking about. It's like, how can

714
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:19,040
Speaker 1: like a lot of times. Yeah, they're not even in

715
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:22,280
Speaker 1: touch with what's going on. Why does that matter?

716
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:24,880
Speaker 3: I would only worry that like that would come up

717
00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:27,440
Speaker 3: if you're trying to get future jobs or something. But

718
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:31,160
Speaker 3: I think with your information in your recording and your

719
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:34,640
Speaker 3: past evaluations, the situation becomes pretty clear that it was

720
00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:37,240
Speaker 3: all feelings based and not He's like one of the

721
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:38,040
Speaker 3: middle schools's just.

722
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,160
Speaker 1: Like hmm, oh, peace me.

723
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:42,760
Speaker 2: He's such an ugly little witch.

724
00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:46,160
Speaker 1: Oh he is so mean loser. She doesn't have a

725
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:47,720
Speaker 1: crush on Yeah.

726
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:50,760
Speaker 2: I don't even like her anyway. You believes she thought

727
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:52,120
Speaker 2: it was a dad. I didn't even like her. She

728
00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:55,000
Speaker 2: ugly and boring. It a gross ee knows.

729
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:58,040
Speaker 1: She's so stupid. You know I'm the smartest boy in town.

730
00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:01,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, She's probably are you stupid to know.

731
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:02,080
Speaker 1: She likes me.

732
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:06,800
Speaker 3: At the end of the year, the superintendent asked me

733
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:09,720
Speaker 3: to reconsider staying. He told me how much he admired

734
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:11,560
Speaker 3: the hard work I put into teaching, and he felt

735
00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:13,920
Speaker 3: that they wouldn't find a quality foreign language teacher to

736
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,720
Speaker 3: replace me in that small district. I wanted to stay,

737
00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:19,560
Speaker 3: but again I was moving for personal reasons and could not.

738
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:23,359
Speaker 3: The goodbyes were very hard, and there is a little

739
00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:24,800
Speaker 3: bit more to this story.

740
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:26,120
Speaker 2: Do you have any final thoughts?

741
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:30,400
Speaker 3: But Kenny's be fired totally, Honey, needs to be fired totally.

742
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:35,319
Speaker 1: He's weaponizing his performance reviews. Yeah, he needs to be

743
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:36,920
Speaker 1: not in a position of authority.

744
00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:38,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's like not doing his job.

745
00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:42,000
Speaker 3: He's like filling out these evaluations and stuff, but they're

746
00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:45,640
Speaker 3: not actual evaluations. They're just like diary entries. And then

747
00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:48,000
Speaker 3: that's it, and he's asking out his coworkers.

748
00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:52,200
Speaker 1: Just a perfect example of bureaucracy at its worst. Yep,

749
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:57,319
Speaker 1: you know, the bureaucracy of the school system, the school administration,

750
00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:02,279
Speaker 1: just a bunch of inept p failing upwards most of

751
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:05,440
Speaker 1: the time. Sometimes you get good ones and that's nice,

752
00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:10,120
Speaker 1: but wow, bureaucracies are usually filled with incompetent folks.

753
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:12,120
Speaker 2: Just like this one. There is a little bit more

754
00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:13,200
Speaker 2: to the story, Sam.

755
00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:15,000
Speaker 1: Here, we're gonna get back to the stories. But here's

756
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:15,479
Speaker 1: three of minutes.

757
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:19,000
Speaker 3: Bads from our sponsors, and now the cherry on top.

758
00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:22,879
Speaker 3: The superintendent had been quietly gathering reports and complaints about

759
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:26,800
Speaker 3: the mister S's performance from all of the unhappy teachers.

760
00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:29,080
Speaker 3: He met with him before the school year began to

761
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:31,879
Speaker 3: have a meeting about changes and improvements, and he wanted

762
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:35,040
Speaker 3: to see happen, and mister s just quit on the

763
00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:38,080
Speaker 3: spot five days before the school year began.

764
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:41,920
Speaker 2: For teachers. Oh my gosh, that's crazy. There he goes

765
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:43,560
Speaker 2: trash to hisself.

766
00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:45,400
Speaker 1: Out like a toot in the wind Yep.

767
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:49,720
Speaker 2: Wow, he really left the school high and dry.

768
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:53,000
Speaker 3: They have not found a replacement principle and are making

769
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:56,200
Speaker 3: it work with the superintendent doubling as his job and

770
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:59,600
Speaker 3: select staff members stepping in to cover other duties. So

771
00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:01,719
Speaker 3: all in all, he is now the most hated man

772
00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:03,759
Speaker 3: in the school districts and I don't have to be

773
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:07,399
Speaker 3: there among the madness this year. The superintendent has also

774
00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:09,640
Speaker 3: emailed me recently to let me know that I'm welcome

775
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:11,600
Speaker 3: to come back to the district anytime.

776
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:15,000
Speaker 2: And that's so lovely, that's so wonderful.

777
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:17,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, you're the best, and he's the worst.

778
00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:22,200
Speaker 2: He's the worst. And it all worked out well.

779
00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:25,080
Speaker 1: He quit, Yeah, he did. I wish he would have

780
00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:27,520
Speaker 1: got fired, fired, but but then he.

781
00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:29,759
Speaker 2: Would have gone like severance or something. So I'm chill

782
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:30,520
Speaker 2: with him quitting.

783
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:32,600
Speaker 3: And then how is he gonna like explain that to

784
00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:36,680
Speaker 3: his future jobs in his job interviews, it's like, why

785
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:39,480
Speaker 3: did you leave your last position? Yeah, there really stinky

786
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:41,319
Speaker 3: mean to me, and so I quit because it would

787
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:41,719
Speaker 3: be like.

788
00:36:41,719 --> 00:36:44,640
Speaker 1: There was like a foreign language teacher who was just

789
00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:47,120
Speaker 1: so obsessed with me that it was making my job

790
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:52,680
Speaker 1: impossible to do without you know, distraction and yeah, diversion,

791
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:55,360
Speaker 1: and they were you know, it's a whole thing. I

792
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:57,560
Speaker 1: don't really want to get into it, you know, because

793
00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:00,279
Speaker 1: those people always do that. Yeah, like they they didn't

794
00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:03,080
Speaker 1: get to actually have their fantasy like come true. So

795
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:06,480
Speaker 1: like now in the future when they're like replaying in

796
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:07,920
Speaker 1: their head, they're gonna be like, no, no, no, it

797
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:09,160
Speaker 1: wasn't me who was weird.

798
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:11,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, they don't even know how to tell the story

799
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:14,440
Speaker 3: because they are so in denial.

800
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:16,160
Speaker 2: But that is the end of that story.

801
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:19,120
Speaker 3: We've got another one coming right up.

802
00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:23,440
Speaker 1: My co teacher became emotionally obsessed with me.

803
00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:26,239
Speaker 2: That sounds dangerous.

804
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 1: I thirty two female, m a second year high school

805
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:32,320
Speaker 1: teacher and part of a team with two other teachers,

806
00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:36,200
Speaker 1: let's call them Jill twenty nine female and Hannah forty

807
00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:39,640
Speaker 1: one female. I won't specify our subject in case they're

808
00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:43,000
Speaker 1: on Reddit, as the situation is already messy enough. By

809
00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:44,880
Speaker 1: the way, this comes from use a difficult funny three

810
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:46,400
Speaker 1: to ZHO two And if you want to submit your

811
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:48,120
Speaker 1: own stories, go to the r slash Showcase story Time.

812
00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:50,960
Speaker 1: Sure it, I'm Dakota, I'm Angie, I'm Carly, and we're

813
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:52,920
Speaker 1: here to give you good advice Goofily, But we don't

814
00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:55,200
Speaker 1: have all the answers. We only know what we would do,

815
00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:56,759
Speaker 1: so if you would do something different, let us know

816
00:37:56,800 --> 00:38:01,400
Speaker 1: in the comments. Ohp says I started mid year last

817
00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:04,200
Speaker 1: school year, which, if you've ever taught, is an incredibly

818
00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:07,360
Speaker 1: stressful experience, made even harder by the fact that it

819
00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:10,440
Speaker 1: was my first time teaching in public school. From the start,

820
00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:12,759
Speaker 1: I got off on the wrong foot with Hannah. I

821
00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:15,560
Speaker 1: don't know if she felt threatened by me or was

822
00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:18,360
Speaker 1: just wary of newcomers, but she made it clear she

823
00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:20,719
Speaker 1: had a problem with me before even getting to know me.

824
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 1: For context, Hannah did some pretty petty things like telling

825
00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:27,520
Speaker 1: my students I didn't know how to teach my subject

826
00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:30,680
Speaker 1: and even spreading a rumor that I pop pills because

827
00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:34,319
Speaker 1: she once saw me take my prescribed medication during my

828
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:37,760
Speaker 1: off period. I wasn't even thinking about it at the time,

829
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:41,960
Speaker 1: why would I, But her comments, along with other petty behavior,

830
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:46,239
Speaker 1: eventually got back to me. That's actually insane. Yeah. Can

831
00:38:46,239 --> 00:38:51,280
Speaker 1: you imagine suggesting that was just like saying that to students? Yeah,

832
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:57,760
Speaker 1: be like yeah, missus op pill popper, strange thing. Yeah.

833
00:38:57,800 --> 00:39:00,839
Speaker 1: Since I'm a direct person, I confronted her. I made

834
00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:03,239
Speaker 1: it clear that if I heard her speaking negatively about

835
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:06,600
Speaker 1: me again, she was going to have a problem. And honestly,

836
00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:10,719
Speaker 1: after that, she backed off and we're actually cool now. Ironically,

837
00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 1: though this story is about Jill. At first, Jill was

838
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:18,800
Speaker 1: warm and welcoming. We bonded quickly, probably too quickly, forming

839
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:21,960
Speaker 1: what I now recognize as a trauma bonded friendship. I

840
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:23,920
Speaker 1: was grateful to have a friend when I was struggling

841
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:27,120
Speaker 1: to find my footing, especially with Hannah actively trying to

842
00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:30,879
Speaker 1: sabotage me in that time. We shared a lot. I'm

843
00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:33,960
Speaker 1: naturally an open person. I'll tell you anything, and I

844
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:38,080
Speaker 1: don't shy away from discussing my past, which includes childhood trauma,

845
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:41,399
Speaker 1: serious medical issues, and loss. I've been in and out

846
00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:44,359
Speaker 1: of therapy my whole adult life, and was just as

847
00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 1: open with Jill as I would be with anyone. She

848
00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:49,560
Speaker 1: also shared a lot about her own traumatic past, and

849
00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:53,760
Speaker 1: we bonded over that. But there were red flags. At first,

850
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:56,799
Speaker 1: they were small things that brushed off. She seemed to

851
00:39:56,840 --> 00:39:59,600
Speaker 1: struggle with controlling her emotions. She'd get jealous if a

852
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:02,600
Speaker 1: student to me for help instead of her. She'd start

853
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:05,560
Speaker 1: the day crying, saying she hadn't slept. If I spoke

854
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:08,839
Speaker 1: to Hannah about work related things, she'd feel excluded. I

855
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:11,800
Speaker 1: was patient and reassuring at first, thinking she just suffered

856
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:15,279
Speaker 1: from anxiety and self consciousness. Because I could see she

857
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:19,879
Speaker 1: was struggling. I shared my psychiatrist's information, suggested medication might

858
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:22,400
Speaker 1: help since it had helped me, and even invited her

859
00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:25,719
Speaker 1: to church. She accepted all of this willingly, but as

860
00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:29,760
Speaker 1: time went on, her behavior escalated. One major red flag

861
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:32,200
Speaker 1: was when she told me she had no friends at

862
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:35,680
Speaker 1: all outside of me. You just got there, though, hmm.

863
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:39,960
Speaker 1: I was blunt with her. I told her that wasn't

864
00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:42,879
Speaker 1: healthy and that she needed to put herself out there.

865
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:45,840
Speaker 1: I even expressed that it concerned me because I couldn't

866
00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:48,759
Speaker 1: be someone's everything. I'm a wife and mother. And she

867
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:51,160
Speaker 1: still lives at home with her parents. We were at

868
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:54,320
Speaker 1: very different stages in life, but she quickly started calling

869
00:40:54,320 --> 00:40:56,880
Speaker 1: me her best friend. I made sure to clarify that

870
00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:59,760
Speaker 1: while I have a solid group of longtime best friends,

871
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:03,880
Speaker 1: I was always open to new friendships. But that didn't

872
00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:06,879
Speaker 1: seem to deter her. By the end of last year

873
00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:10,480
Speaker 1: and through summer, I was still her cheerleader. We cried together,

874
00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:13,360
Speaker 1: laughed together, and even spent time outside of work, but

875
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:17,440
Speaker 1: I started feeling emotionally drained. Her constant anxiety and stress

876
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:20,120
Speaker 1: were triggering my own. When the new school year started,

877
00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:23,200
Speaker 1: she was worse than ever. She wasn't sleeping, constantly crying,

878
00:41:23,239 --> 00:41:25,960
Speaker 1: and seemed angry all the time. I found out she

879
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:28,760
Speaker 1: had met someone online over the summer and it wasn't

880
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:33,360
Speaker 1: working out. You wanted to talk about it constantly. Every

881
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:37,240
Speaker 1: conversation for weeks revolved around it. I tried to be patient,

882
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:39,600
Speaker 1: but eventually I told her I was done discussing it.

883
00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:42,560
Speaker 1: I had given all the advice I could. She needed

884
00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:45,040
Speaker 1: to move on. At this point, she had started medication

885
00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:48,640
Speaker 1: from the psychiatrist I recommended, but wasn't seeing a therapist.

886
00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:51,640
Speaker 1: I told her plainly, I'm in a season of my

887
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:54,880
Speaker 1: life where I need to be equally yoked in friendships,

888
00:41:55,120 --> 00:42:02,080
Speaker 1: equally jacked, equally staff goop dup my friendships to be shreded.

889
00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:07,320
Speaker 1: I believe she is referring to the olden use of

890
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:11,239
Speaker 1: the word yoked, more like a yoke on, like an

891
00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:15,600
Speaker 1: ox equally yoked. I think it's like we're working equally.

892
00:42:15,719 --> 00:42:19,759
Speaker 1: We're all wearing the same pair of pants. I don't know.

893
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:20,560
Speaker 1: I'm not a farmer.

894
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:23,200
Speaker 2: Where's good old etymology Riley?

895
00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:26,680
Speaker 1: I know he wasn't a farmer either, but he had goats. Sure, Ope,

896
00:42:26,719 --> 00:42:29,759
Speaker 1: he continues. That might sound selfish, but I need people

897
00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:32,640
Speaker 1: who can pour into me the way I pour into them.

898
00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:35,480
Speaker 1: I reminded her that I wasn't her mentor big sister

899
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:38,440
Speaker 1: or a therapist. I could be her friend, but that

900
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:42,160
Speaker 1: was it. This led to our first real confrontation. Things

901
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:45,200
Speaker 1: got awkward, but we eventually settled back into a routine.

902
00:42:45,719 --> 00:42:49,879
Speaker 1: Though I was pulling back, I was emotionally exhausted. As

903
00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:53,480
Speaker 1: I distanced myself, she became more reactive and she'd tell

904
00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:57,000
Speaker 1: me I was being cold or aggressive. Another big moment

905
00:42:57,080 --> 00:42:59,520
Speaker 1: happened when I finally told her some of the behaviors

906
00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:02,200
Speaker 1: that made me uncomfortable. I know I have my own

907
00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:04,719
Speaker 1: issues and I can be blunt, but I also have

908
00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:08,120
Speaker 1: great friends and former co workers who I still have

909
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:11,719
Speaker 1: strong relationships with. Sometime, spending forty hours a week with

910
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:14,880
Speaker 1: someone just creates friction. One time, she told me she

911
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:18,680
Speaker 1: wasn't sleeping because of demonic dreams. Since we had already

912
00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:21,960
Speaker 1: shared religious experiences, I suggested she see a priest or

913
00:43:22,040 --> 00:43:25,480
Speaker 1: someone who could help. In hindsight, I understand why she

914
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:28,560
Speaker 1: took offense, but I genuinely wasn't trying to be insulting.

915
00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:31,719
Speaker 1: Then came the late night texts. She would send me

916
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:35,040
Speaker 1: long emotional messages in the middle of the night about

917
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 1: how I had hurt her feelings. The first time, I

918
00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:40,560
Speaker 1: firmly told her not to do that again. It wasn't

919
00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:43,359
Speaker 1: okay to drop triggering messages on me before we had

920
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:46,440
Speaker 1: to work together the next day, but she kept doing it.

921
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:48,560
Speaker 1: I put the lego in front of you because I

922
00:43:48,719 --> 00:43:52,680
Speaker 1: block you. Yeah, well, I guess those are bricks not blocks.

923
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:56,799
Speaker 2: Get your lego knowledge right. I'm telling Keon, gonna tell

924
00:43:56,840 --> 00:43:59,719
Speaker 2: Kets for this show.

925
00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:06,680
Speaker 3: But I did kind of wonder if this girl would

926
00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:10,680
Speaker 3: like be an ear for Ope's problems. But it really

927
00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:13,320
Speaker 3: does sound like she's just complaining to OPI and not

928
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:15,839
Speaker 3: really being there for op. Ohp, he's just being there

929
00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:18,320
Speaker 3: for her, which I mean, OP kind of confirmed, I guess.

930
00:44:18,080 --> 00:44:19,960
Speaker 2: With like the equal yoke stuff.

931
00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:23,520
Speaker 3: When it comes to feelings, A lot of times, you know,

932
00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:26,920
Speaker 3: if someone says something and it hurts someone else's feelings,

933
00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:28,839
Speaker 3: that is in the wrong.

934
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:30,840
Speaker 2: That's wrong. You shouldn't hurt someone's feelings.

935
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:34,919
Speaker 3: This situation feels like, you know, your feelings probably got hurt.

936
00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:35,840
Speaker 2: Not my fault.

937
00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:38,759
Speaker 3: I can't really control your feelings. I was right in

938
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:40,799
Speaker 3: what I was saying. I believe in what I was saying.

939
00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:42,440
Speaker 3: I think I was going about it in a good way.

940
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:44,480
Speaker 3: I think it's good that I'm being honest.

941
00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:49,040
Speaker 2: It's just a coincidence, I guess, or it's just your

942
00:44:49,239 --> 00:44:51,200
Speaker 2: issue that your feelings got hurt in the situation.

943
00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:53,359
Speaker 1: Hey, y'all, it's John Ogi host here. We're gonna get

944
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:54,879
Speaker 1: back to the stories, but here's a quick three minute

945
00:44:54,880 --> 00:44:58,160
Speaker 1: break from as for more sponsors. OPI continues. It all

946
00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:00,799
Speaker 1: built up until she sent another li night message and

947
00:45:00,880 --> 00:45:03,480
Speaker 1: I snapped. I talked to my husband and friends and

948
00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:06,319
Speaker 1: they all told me this person seemed emotionally unwell and

949
00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:09,239
Speaker 1: that I needed to cut ties. So I did. I

950
00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:12,799
Speaker 1: texted her Jill, I'm done. I can't keep doing this.

951
00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:15,160
Speaker 1: But a few days later she came to my room

952
00:45:15,239 --> 00:45:18,160
Speaker 1: wanting to talk. She seemed genuinely self reflective, and we

953
00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:20,960
Speaker 1: both agreed to move forward. But things were never quite

954
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:24,600
Speaker 1: the same. It was still tense and with occasional outbursts

955
00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:27,560
Speaker 1: from her. I was trying to be patient, especially since

956
00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:30,759
Speaker 1: she was now dealing with a serious family illness. And

957
00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:35,080
Speaker 1: then yesterday happened. After our boss left. She accused me

958
00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:38,120
Speaker 1: of taking credit for something she did. I was honestly

959
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:41,480
Speaker 1: confused because it was such a trivial thing, something we

960
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:44,040
Speaker 1: had all worked on as a team, and I wasn't

961
00:45:44,239 --> 00:45:47,600
Speaker 1: nice about it. I snapped sorry in a rude tone

962
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:51,680
Speaker 1: and walked away. I was just done. Then today everything exploded.

963
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:54,360
Speaker 1: A student asked me for something and I said no.

964
00:45:55,040 --> 00:45:58,960
Speaker 1: They responded, I'll just go ask Jill. I half joking,

965
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:01,600
Speaker 1: we said, go ahead, she's a pushover. She'll probably give

966
00:46:01,640 --> 00:46:06,640
Speaker 1: it to you. Ha ha. I didn't mean it maliciously,

967
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:11,239
Speaker 1: but I shouldn't have said it. Well. The student ran

968
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:13,600
Speaker 1: to her and told her. He stormed into my room,

969
00:46:13,760 --> 00:46:15,960
Speaker 1: yelling at me in front of the student that I

970
00:46:16,040 --> 00:46:18,560
Speaker 1: was rude and shouldn't call her a pushover. I was

971
00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:20,600
Speaker 1: still caught off guard that I started shaking and had

972
00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:23,799
Speaker 1: to sit down. Who PTSD triggers. She stormed out, and

973
00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:25,360
Speaker 1: when the bell rang for lunch, she came back to

974
00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:27,799
Speaker 1: tell me something I'm related. I said, Hey, we need

975
00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:30,439
Speaker 1: to talk about what just happened. You can't run into

976
00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:32,640
Speaker 1: my room yelling like that. You didn't even give me

977
00:46:32,680 --> 00:46:36,120
Speaker 1: a chance to explain. That's when she fully unloaded every

978
00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:39,880
Speaker 1: ounce of pent up resentment. She called me mean, accused

979
00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:42,400
Speaker 1: me of taking credit for things all the time, and

980
00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:44,120
Speaker 1: finally yelled, you're mean.

981
00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:45,200
Speaker 2: I don't like you.

982
00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:46,719
Speaker 1: I don't like you. I just don't like you.

983
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:50,279
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, she yelled, I don't like you. I don't

984
00:46:50,320 --> 00:46:51,120
Speaker 2: like you. I don't like you.

985
00:46:51,719 --> 00:46:53,279
Speaker 1: She put her fingers in her ears and said, I

986
00:46:53,280 --> 00:46:54,160
Speaker 1: don't like you. I to like him.

987
00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:58,520
Speaker 2: That's crazy. She's an adult.

988
00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:01,600
Speaker 3: Why is she first well, yelling in the workplace, second

989
00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:03,279
Speaker 3: of all, yelling that at all?

990
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:07,120
Speaker 2: That is so insane, sounds so mature.

991
00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:09,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would just be like, are you sure you

992
00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:11,520
Speaker 1: don't like me? Oh?

993
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:11,880
Speaker 2: Really?

994
00:47:12,239 --> 00:47:13,640
Speaker 1: Are you sure? You don't like me. You said I

995
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:14,400
Speaker 1: was your best team.

996
00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:17,919
Speaker 3: Yeah, you said I was your only friend. Actually you're

997
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:20,520
Speaker 3: not my only friend. Definitely not my best team.

998
00:47:20,560 --> 00:47:23,359
Speaker 1: She then ran back into her room. I just sat there,

999
00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:26,400
Speaker 1: completely drained. I cried through lunch, tried to hold it

1000
00:47:26,400 --> 00:47:28,000
Speaker 1: together for the rest of the day, but broke down

1001
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:32,000
Speaker 1: again during my last period. I'm so exhausted. I don't

1002
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:34,640
Speaker 1: even know what to do anymore. My husband thinks I

1003
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:37,360
Speaker 1: should just go tell our boss, but I feel like

1004
00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:39,839
Speaker 1: I'm just as culpable. I know if I do that,

1005
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:43,239
Speaker 1: I will just be spitting in our grave. However, I

1006
00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:45,319
Speaker 1: don't know if that's the wisest thing to do to

1007
00:47:45,360 --> 00:47:48,840
Speaker 1: protect myself. It's just all really unfortunate, and I feel

1008
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:51,080
Speaker 1: a lot of it, most of it on her part,

1009
00:47:51,200 --> 00:47:54,840
Speaker 1: is just her being constantly triggered and reacting to those feelings.

1010
00:47:55,120 --> 00:47:56,719
Speaker 1: And that's the end of that story. And you can

1011
00:47:56,760 --> 00:48:01,480
Speaker 1: say that to your boss. Hey, go, Look, I just

1012
00:48:01,480 --> 00:48:03,200
Speaker 1: don't think me and Jill are gonna work well together

1013
00:48:03,239 --> 00:48:05,680
Speaker 1: because she's got a lot of emotional stuff she's going

1014
00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:08,000
Speaker 1: through and I'm not equipped to be there for her

1015
00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:11,360
Speaker 1: in that capacity, and it feels like she is putting

1016
00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:14,200
Speaker 1: me in a place of obligation to where if I

1017
00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:17,319
Speaker 1: can't show up for her in that way, I'm now

1018
00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:21,560
Speaker 1: a villainy. I already gave her a psychiatrist. Yeah, and

1019
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:24,640
Speaker 1: now she you know whatever, Like things are getting bad

1020
00:48:24,680 --> 00:48:27,000
Speaker 1: between us. We need some sort of degree of separation.

1021
00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:32,040
Speaker 2: Totally, totally, motally, totally totally. That is the end of

1022
00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:32,560
Speaker 2: the story.

1023
00:48:32,719 --> 00:48:34,680
Speaker 1: Is that is the end of that story? End?

1024
00:48:34,800 --> 00:48:36,080
Speaker 2: Do you have some comments?

1025
00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:40,239
Speaker 4: Comments are from the video my best friend kicked me

1026
00:48:40,280 --> 00:48:43,480
Speaker 4: out of her wedding posted on August twenty second, twenty

1027
00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:48,640
Speaker 4: five tld. Opie's friend Charlotte ironically.

1028
00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:50,520
Speaker 1: Had no way. Yeah, another one.

1029
00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:53,160
Speaker 4: Charlotte asked her to wear a white dress to her wedding,

1030
00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:57,719
Speaker 4: even picking it out herself. At the wedding, Charlotte screamed

1031
00:48:57,719 --> 00:49:00,400
Speaker 4: at op for wearing white and punted her out, saying

1032
00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:03,920
Speaker 4: it was a friendship test. When OPI threatened to expose

1033
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:07,359
Speaker 4: the truth, Charlotte's husband tried to hit on her. As

1034
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:12,520
Speaker 4: an apology, OPI posted proof on Facebook showing that Charlotte

1035
00:49:12,560 --> 00:49:15,440
Speaker 4: set her up on purpose, and now everyone knows. The

1036
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:19,480
Speaker 4: bride wore blue while tricking her friend into wearing white

1037
00:49:19,760 --> 00:49:22,960
Speaker 4: just to humiliate her. And I do vaguely remember this story.

1038
00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:25,719
Speaker 1: I don't remember that, but I gotta say, you never

1039
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:28,640
Speaker 1: wear white to the wedding. That was a trap. Should

1040
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:31,480
Speaker 1: have known that was a trap. You go, I don't

1041
00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:32,879
Speaker 1: care if you want me to wear this white dress.

1042
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:35,920
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna wear it's your wedding. You're crazy, that's crazy.

1043
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:37,840
Speaker 1: But then she'd be like, you passed.

1044
00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:40,000
Speaker 3: But the fact that she's doing some sort of tests

1045
00:49:40,040 --> 00:49:42,760
Speaker 3: on her friend at all is insane.

1046
00:49:43,360 --> 00:49:46,920
Speaker 4: Comment to one Opie nineteen ninety seven. It sounds like

1047
00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:50,000
Speaker 4: the bride just wanted some kind of memorable drama at

1048
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:52,920
Speaker 4: her wedding. Opie didn't ruin the wedding, but she just

1049
00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:56,520
Speaker 4: took the drama bait. Bride would have been super disappointed

1050
00:49:56,520 --> 00:49:58,840
Speaker 4: if Opie didn't wear the white dress.

1051
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:00,719
Speaker 1: Yeah right, what do you mean? She would have been

1052
00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:03,080
Speaker 1: so happy. She'd have been like, oh, my best friend,

1053
00:50:03,080 --> 00:50:05,680
Speaker 1: I found you now I know that you're my best

1054
00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:07,000
Speaker 1: didn't wear the dress.

1055
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:12,279
Speaker 4: It was all a test and Commenter two a mid

1056
00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:15,720
Speaker 4: Moon ninety five. My cousin told all of the women

1057
00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:19,200
Speaker 4: of her wedding to wear a satin dress and asked

1058
00:50:19,239 --> 00:50:23,560
Speaker 4: me to see the only dress I had. It was

1059
00:50:23,719 --> 00:50:26,279
Speaker 4: a big red ball gown and she was over the

1060
00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:27,160
Speaker 4: moon telling.

1061
00:50:26,920 --> 00:50:27,520
Speaker 2: Me to use it.

1062
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:29,920
Speaker 4: I told her, I love you, but that is not

1063
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:31,080
Speaker 4: appropriate for the wedding.

1064
00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:32,080
Speaker 2: I will get a.

1065
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:35,800
Speaker 4: New dress and it's not even in the color Pellette.

1066
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:38,280
Speaker 4: Good thing that I ignored her because my dress wouldn't

1067
00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:41,680
Speaker 4: even fit in the venue space and everyone would have

1068
00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:44,160
Speaker 4: tripped over or damaged it. Most of all, I would

1069
00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:46,080
Speaker 4: have been the only one out of theme.

1070
00:50:46,520 --> 00:50:47,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, that'd be embarrassing.

1071
00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:51,200
Speaker 4: Ali Zoo forty seven to fifty five. Anyone giving a

1072
00:50:51,239 --> 00:50:54,760
Speaker 4: friendship test isn't mature enough to get married. If OPI

1073
00:50:54,840 --> 00:50:57,640
Speaker 4: has any proof that Bridezilla asked her to wear that dress,

1074
00:50:57,760 --> 00:51:00,480
Speaker 4: she needs to make it public. In any case, she

1075
00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:04,400
Speaker 4: needs to block them all and also show literal receipts

1076
00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:07,160
Speaker 4: from the two hundred and fifty dollars she gave for

1077
00:51:07,200 --> 00:51:09,680
Speaker 4: the wedding. Good luck to the groom, and it to

1078
00:51:09,719 --> 00:51:11,279
Speaker 4: add nevermind they deserve each other.

1079
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:13,680
Speaker 2: I think the groom ended up sucking too.

1080
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:16,680
Speaker 5: I see, I see, Oh yeah, I mean the fact

1081
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:20,080
Speaker 5: that he tried to apologize by hitting on her pretty crazy.

1082
00:51:20,480 --> 00:51:24,040
Speaker 5: It's like, I'm so sorry, so sorry girl for my

1083
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:25,160
Speaker 5: crazy wife.

1084
00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:27,719
Speaker 2: But like you shouldn't feel like because you're so hot.

1085
00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:30,440
Speaker 1: My wife is probably just acting like this because you're

1086
00:51:30,520 --> 00:51:33,879
Speaker 1: so hot and delicious. I wish that I was marrying you.

1087
00:51:34,440 --> 00:51:39,160
Speaker 4: In last comment Sherry mulliv Thompson eighty three, eighty eight,

1088
00:51:39,760 --> 00:51:43,200
Speaker 4: Uh and OPI asking about the dress negated any perceived

1089
00:51:43,360 --> 00:51:46,719
Speaker 4: need for a friendship test. This person took that opportunity

1090
00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:49,759
Speaker 4: to put her in a no win situation. Wearing the

1091
00:51:49,840 --> 00:51:53,960
Speaker 4: dress got the offended response, and I am almost positive

1092
00:51:53,960 --> 00:51:56,279
Speaker 4: that not wearing the dress would have gotten you the

1093
00:51:56,760 --> 00:52:00,080
Speaker 4: don't trust me response. There was no equal ground on

1094
00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:00,600
Speaker 4: this one.

1095
00:52:01,040 --> 00:52:04,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, it's crazy all round. She exposed herself

1096
00:52:04,680 --> 00:52:07,759
Speaker 1: as someone you don't want to be friends with. Yeah, congrats,

1097
00:52:07,920 --> 00:52:10,479
Speaker 1: you don't have to ever be friends with that lame

1098
00:52:10,520 --> 00:52:13,520
Speaker 1: o again, yeap, And you can move on, you know,

1099
00:52:13,840 --> 00:52:14,440
Speaker 1: onwards and.

1100
00:52:14,440 --> 00:52:16,200
Speaker 2: Upwards, onwards.

1101
00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:19,560
Speaker 1: And it happens to everyone. Everyone has a friend where

1102
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:21,279
Speaker 1: they're like, this is my friend and then at some

1103
00:52:21,320 --> 00:52:22,719
Speaker 1: point they go, oh, no it's not.

1104
00:52:23,239 --> 00:52:26,560
Speaker 2: But that is the end of that story and episode.

1105
00:52:26,600 --> 00:52:30,160
Speaker 2: Then all right, So if you love us, make sure

1106
00:52:30,160 --> 00:52:30,840
Speaker 2: to subscribe

1107
00:52:31,040 --> 00:52:34,520
Speaker 1: We love you, and see it tomorrow.