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Speaker 1: Pushkin.

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Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, Hi, Hi Khalila Holt Steve E. Layin, senior

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Speaker 2: producer of Heavyweight.

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Speaker 3: You're managing producer. Is that your title?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, something like that.

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Speaker 3: We have some stories for the people today.

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Speaker 2: We do. We each have a story for the people who.

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Speaker 3: Should go first? Great question, Thank you. I'm an interviewer.

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Speaker 2: I think we should rock paper scissors for it?

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Speaker 3: Okay on? Shoot?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

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Speaker 3: Are we going to say it?

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Speaker 2: Well?

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Speaker 4: I think we have to say it for this audio,

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Speaker 4: so it'll be like rock paper scissor shooting.

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Speaker 3: Then you say either rock paper or scissors.

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Speaker 2: You don't say rock paper scissors said, shoot.

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Speaker 3: No, why wet rock on a paper and scissors can't talk?

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Speaker 2: This is the way though we grew up doing it

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Speaker 2: rock papers or says, shoot, just it just sounds better.

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Speaker 4: I think it's weird. Rock paper scissors. Shoot, it's just

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Speaker 4: an easy beat.

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Speaker 2: Okay, rock papers shoot paper? Oh oh wow, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: we're so line.

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Speaker 3: All right, I guess we have to do it again, rock.

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Speaker 2: Paper sister, shoot rock Are you kidding?

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Speaker 3: This is going terribly okay?

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, come on, come on, all right, rock rock

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Speaker 2: paper sister, shoot paper?

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Speaker 1: Come on?

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Speaker 4: Also, I feel like we're doing the rock paper scissors

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Speaker 4: part so slow it's like a funeral dird.

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Speaker 3: Okay, let's try.

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Speaker 2: Here we go, raw paper sisters, shoes.

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Speaker 3: Are there? We go?

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Speaker 2: All right, I guess I'm up first, All right, take

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Speaker 2: it away. A few years ago, my family all got

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Speaker 2: together at my grandma's house, and as always, she insisted

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Speaker 2: on feeding us, even though we had dinner reservations in

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Speaker 2: like an hour. So along with the nuts and crackers

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Speaker 2: and lukewarm spanakopaa bites, my grandma had gotten this fruit

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Speaker 2: salad from Whole Foods, one of those pre made ones

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Speaker 2: in the big plastic tubs. So we're all eating it,

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Speaker 2: and about two thirds of the way through it, someone

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Speaker 2: notices that a little bit of the fruit at the bottom,

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Speaker 2: just like a strawberrier two, had gone bad. And we

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Speaker 2: were like, you know whatever, we can just pick around it,

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Speaker 2: but my grandma was like, no, stop, don't touch it.

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Speaker 2: I'll return it. And we were all like, Grandma, what

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Speaker 2: are you talking about. We've already eaten most of it,

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Speaker 2: like they're not going to take it back now, but

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Speaker 2: my grandma was like, no, it's rotten. It was expensive,

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Speaker 2: I'm returning it. So the next day, my grandma marches

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Speaker 2: into Whole Foods head straight for customer service, and she

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Speaker 2: proceeds to make up this whole story about how she

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Speaker 2: and my grandpa had my grandpa's boss and his wife

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Speaker 2: over for a luncheon, like as though it's the nineteen

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Speaker 2: fifties or something when people invited their bosses over on

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Speaker 2: Sundays for luncheons. Also, my grandma is ninety years old, Like,

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Speaker 2: there's no way this woman's husband still works. What is

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Speaker 2: he a lamplighter? But anyway, she says, you know, her

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Speaker 2: husband's boss came over for lunch and she served the

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Speaker 2: fruit basket and the boss's wife noticed that the fruit

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Speaker 2: was moldy, and my grandma was so embarrassed, just like mortified.

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Speaker 2: I ended up taking the boss and his wife out

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Speaker 2: for lunch instead spent fifty dollars on a whole meal

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Speaker 2: for them. And she's like, I am a loyal customer.

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Speaker 2: I come here every week to buy these little biscotti

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Speaker 2: crackers you carry that my husband just loves. They're not cheap,

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Speaker 2: by the way, but this fruit incident absolutely spoiled our afternoon,

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Speaker 2: and I really think you ought to make it right. Okay,

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Speaker 2: Here's what my grandma walked out of Whole Foods with

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Speaker 2: a full refund for the original fruit basket, a new

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Speaker 2: fruit basket to replace the one that had gone bad,

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Speaker 2: a fifty dollars gift card to help cover the cost

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Speaker 2: of the imaginary luncheon, and a whole case of those

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Speaker 2: little biscotti crackers absolutely free. I have a theory that

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Speaker 2: there are two kinds of people in this world, returners

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Speaker 2: and non returners. Grandma Ruth returner. Whatever g carries a

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Speaker 2: strong sense of justice paired with a distinct lack of

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Speaker 2: shame and love of say dramaturgy. She's got it, and

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Speaker 2: it's a gene she's passed down to me. I'm also

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Speaker 2: a returner. I think I feel about customer service issues

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Speaker 2: the way some people must feel about hunting for sport.

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Speaker 2: It's a challenge, it's a thrill. How can I prove

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Speaker 2: I purchased it here when I've lost my receipt? What

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Speaker 2: buttons do I press to get a live representative on

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Speaker 2: the line, climbing my way through the phone tree like

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Speaker 2: some kind of frantic phone monkey. Sure it's not always

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Speaker 2: the most logical use of my time. I'm still fighting

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Speaker 2: a year's long battle with a Spanish railroad company for

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Speaker 2: a refund on a train that was four hours delayed.

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Speaker 2: At this point, I've probably spent more time on the

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Speaker 2: phone with them than I spent waiting for the train

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Speaker 2: in the first place. But it's the principle of the thing,

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Speaker 2: the thing being the money, the principle of the money.

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Speaker 2: Come on, kascuocha a little closer, huh.

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Speaker 5: I just had some egg salad. I don't know how

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Speaker 5: close you want me to be.

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Speaker 2: This is Hand, my partner, a staunch non returner. Hand's

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Speaker 2: the sort of good natured, mild mannered person who might

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Speaker 2: order their egg salad without the celery, then get an

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Speaker 2: egg salad just stuffed with celery and not say anything,

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Speaker 2: or see that they were charged for an extra beer

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Speaker 2: on a busy night at a bar, but pay the

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Speaker 2: whole tab plus the strangers just to be nice. Or

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Speaker 2: get wrongfully charged by Amazon for hair cream and do

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Speaker 2: nothing about it. Oh no, are we doing this. Here's

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Speaker 2: what happened. Hand ordered two containers of their favorite hairstyling

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Speaker 2: cream from Amazon, but when the package arrived, it was empty, sealed,

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Speaker 2: untampered with, but empty. Instead of contacting Amazon, though to say,

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Speaker 2: you know, like, hey, you sent me nothing. They just

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Speaker 2: went ahead and ordered two more hair creams, and.

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Speaker 6: So the second to arrive and they're like all dried up,

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Speaker 6: like the way that peanut butter gets like halfway through

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Speaker 6: and it's lost a lot of the oil.

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Speaker 5: That's what it was like.

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Speaker 2: So hand threw those hair creams away, ordered two more,

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Speaker 2: and for those of you keeping count, were up to

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Speaker 2: four hair creams that they paid for but did not

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Speaker 2: get or could not use. How expensive is this hair goop?

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Speaker 2: Five each per.

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Speaker 5: Goop per goop? I think, yeah, so that's.

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Speaker 2: Like eighty four more dollars than you were supposed to

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Speaker 2: spend on this stuff.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, and you didn't like call No, I don't know

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Speaker 6: how to get in contact with them.

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Speaker 2: Here's how to get in contact with them. Simply google

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Speaker 2: Amazon Customer Service phone and dial the number. So what's

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Speaker 2: the real issue here?

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Speaker 6: I mean, I I think it comes down to like

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Speaker 6: wanting to be liked by everybody, and like being a

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Speaker 6: people pleaser because of that, and sticking up for yourself

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Speaker 6: is definitely at odds with pleasing people.

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Speaker 2: That's true. To be a returner, sometimes you have to

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Speaker 2: be the bad guy for people, like hand good, well

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Speaker 2: liked people. Pleasing people. That's hard to swallow. But I

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Speaker 2: want Hand to learn to stick up for themselves. I

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Speaker 2: want to show them how easy and satisfying it is.

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Speaker 2: I want to teach hand how to be a returner,

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Speaker 2: and returning the hair goops is the ideal tutorial. There's

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Speaker 2: just one potential obstacle.

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Speaker 5: Do I mean to tell you when it was placed?

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Speaker 5: I can pull it up really.

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Speaker 2: Eazy Amazon's thirty day return policy. Hmm, you're scrolling very

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Speaker 2: far right now. It was a really old order, as

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Speaker 2: in ten months old, almost a year past the return window.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, it's it's a little late to be a you know,

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Speaker 6: there's like a lot of things working against you on

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Speaker 6: this one.

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Speaker 7: Thank you for contacting Amazon.

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Speaker 2: When I call Amazon a few days later, I spend

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Speaker 2: the first ten minutes or so trying to get a

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Speaker 2: real live person on the line.

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Speaker 7: Would you allow me to try again and help you today?

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Speaker 2: My usual hack where I just keep hitting zero like

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Speaker 2: a labrat demanding cocaine doesn't work.

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Speaker 7: I'm sorry I didn't get that.

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Speaker 2: But finally, the seven magic.

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Speaker 7: Words, I'll get someone to help with this.

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Speaker 2: The problem with someone when she comes on the phone

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Speaker 2: is that she can't find hands order in the system.

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Speaker 2: She tells me it must be a glitch on her

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Speaker 2: end and that I should hang up and call back.

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Speaker 2: But if I call back, well I do, I have

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Speaker 2: to wait on hold again and everything. Oh no, will

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Speaker 2: it be you.

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Speaker 1: I'll just provide the order number right away.

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Speaker 2: Uh, but are you going to pick up the phone

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Speaker 2: or will it be the robot? Huh?

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Speaker 7: Welcome to Amazon Customer Service.

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Speaker 2: It's the robot. But eventually, Hi, I thank you for

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Speaker 2: calling Amazon Customer Service. This is I explained to my

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Speaker 2: new customer service Rep Danica about the dried up creams.

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Speaker 2: Fifteen minutes later, she's processed a replacement. It's that easy.

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Speaker 2: Then I tell her about the first two creams that

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Speaker 2: never arrived, which I'd like to be refunded for.

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Speaker 5: Also, our system here is not allowing anymore to.

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Speaker 2: Process the refund because it's less already being fast return windows,

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Speaker 2: so we didn't have any options here. A thought flashes

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Speaker 2: through my mind. W W g D, what would grandma?

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Speaker 8: Do?

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Speaker 1: You know?

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Speaker 2: Just because I'm a loyal customer, you know, and I've

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Speaker 2: been with you guys for so long, is there any

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Speaker 2: way that like we can get a refund for the

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Speaker 2: amount as like a credit on my Amazon account.

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Speaker 3: Okay, lets me just double check it out.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry second, sure.

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Speaker 6: Okay, yes, I successfully your brotherss this to ask a

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Speaker 6: promotional credit for the full amount.

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Speaker 2: Oh, thank you, I really, I really appreciate yours really

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Speaker 2: helpful today.

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Speaker 6: Hurry I would greet be ahead and.

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Speaker 2: Now okay, yeah you too. Bye.

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Speaker 1: I can't thank you so much.

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Speaker 2: Off the phone, I start fantasizing about telling Hannd what

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Speaker 2: I've done. They didn't think I could do it, and

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Speaker 2: I have. They're going to be so happy with me.

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Speaker 2: I've really done a good thing here today.

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Speaker 6: And hello, you can now end the call.

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Speaker 2: Oh oh I have to end it. Oh oh you

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Speaker 2: can't do it. Oh yeah, sorry about that? All right,

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Speaker 2: thank you so much? Bye?

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Speaker 5: Hey, how's it gone? How did it go?

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Speaker 2: I tell Hann how easy it was, how all I

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Speaker 2: had to do was call and wait and talk to

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Speaker 2: a first representative, then call back and wait, then talk

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Speaker 2: to someone else, then get the first refund, then negotiate

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Speaker 2: for the promotional credit, which was a pretty baller move

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Speaker 2: on my part, I think. But Hann is not as

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Speaker 2: jazzed about it as I thought they'd be. All they

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Speaker 2: can really muster is a somewhat forced Damn Steve, good job,

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Speaker 2: and then a much more genuine.

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Speaker 5: Sounds like Amazon has some very good customer service.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, do you feel good about Is there like a

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Speaker 2: feeling of relief about it?

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Speaker 6: I already got over it, you know, I got over

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Speaker 6: it many many months ago.

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Speaker 2: The tutorial was a complete failure. I'd wanted to show

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Speaker 2: hannd that it's worth it to be a returner. I'd

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Speaker 2: wanted them to feel how gratifying it is. I'd wanted

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Speaker 2: them to share in my delight simply. I'd wanted them

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Speaker 2: to care. Hello, Grandma, Yes, So instead I call someone

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Speaker 2: who will care pretty good, right, absolutely?

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Speaker 5: I just sh you'd have gotten more.

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Speaker 2: I told hand and they were sort of like, I

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Speaker 2: don't really care. I think this is a bigger deal

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Speaker 2: to you than to me. And it made me think, like,

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Speaker 2: what do you think it is about us that makes

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Speaker 2: us care about this more than other people do?

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Speaker 1: Well?

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Speaker 4: I don't know.

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Speaker 8: I think it's not an unusual feeling to want to

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Speaker 8: be reimbursed the harm done, but not everyone has to

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Speaker 8: feel the same way about things.

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Speaker 2: Did Grandpa care about this stuff as much as you? No?

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Speaker 8: No, I did it. It was not usually involved. He

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Speaker 8: let me take care of it. He I don't think

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Speaker 8: he really cared.

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Speaker 2: My grandfather passed away a few years ago.

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Speaker 8: You know, Grandpa and I were very different generally. I

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Speaker 8: think he took things a little easier than I h

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Speaker 8: but it worked.

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Speaker 5: We kind of gave.

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Speaker 8: Well, you have to give and take in relationship, Stevie,

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Speaker 8: you have to give and take.

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Speaker 2: There are two kinds of people in this world, returners

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Speaker 2: and non returners, and sometimes, if they're lucky, they find

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Speaker 2: each other.

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Speaker 8: Absolutely, Yes, yes, we had We had a very a

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Speaker 8: very unusual relationship because look how long it lasted. Yeah,

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Speaker 8: seventy four years. Those guys together seventy four years.

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Speaker 2: Hanna and I have not been together seventy four years,

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Speaker 2: but I hope that we are. And I know it

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Speaker 2: means I'll be the one who is bothering the waiter.

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Speaker 2: I'll have to point out the extra charges on checks,

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Speaker 2: but it's a small price to pay. Hann calls me there,

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Speaker 2: send it back, girlfriend, And though they say it in jest,

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Speaker 2: it actually makes me feel proud. I love them. I'd

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Speaker 2: send a thousand egg salads back for them. My grandparents

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Speaker 2: aren't all that religious. Didn't belong to a temple, But

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Speaker 2: when my grandfather died, my grandma wanted a service, so

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Speaker 2: my family found a rabbi and a local synagogue. My

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Speaker 2: grandma paid to reserve the synagogue's main sanctuary, a room

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Speaker 2: with big windows and a beautiful view where the proceedings

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Speaker 2: were to be held. But the night before the service,

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Speaker 2: a pipe burst and the main sanctuary flooded. When we arrived,

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Speaker 2: we found out we would be in the synagogue's library

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Speaker 2: room instead, which, though perfectly fine, was more of an

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Speaker 2: all purpose room lined with bookshelves. The one window I

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Speaker 2: remember looked out onto the parking lot.

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Speaker 8: I was expecting this nice room, and that's what I wanted,

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Speaker 8: so I was disappointed. I wanted the funeral to be

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Speaker 8: and I was special because study was special.

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Speaker 2: So as we all filed in for my grandfather's service,

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Speaker 2: my grandmother refused to step one foot over the threshold.

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Speaker 2: She crossed her arms and raised her chin. She asked

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Speaker 2: to speak to someone in charge, and then, in what

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Speaker 2: I see as her final act of love for my grandfather,

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Speaker 2: my grandmother got his eight hundred dollars funeral absolutely free.

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Speaker 2: After the break, Khalila takes a risk.

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Speaker 4: In high school, I, like many children across our dilapidated nation,

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Speaker 4: was forced to take the Presidential Fitness Test. It was

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Speaker 4: actually a series of tests dating back to the Eisenhower

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Speaker 4: administration and possibly designed by Dwight d himself during breaks

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Speaker 4: from the space race. We took the Presidential Fitness Test,

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Speaker 4: once at the beginning of the year and then again

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Speaker 4: at the end, the idea being that after nine months

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Speaker 4: of school sponsored exercise, school sponsored lunches, and backpacks weighed

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Speaker 4: down with school sponsored textbooks, we'd be stronger. There was

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Speaker 4: a test to count your situps and another to count

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Speaker 4: your push ups. My number of push ups was always zero.

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Speaker 4: At the end of my sophomore year, I begged my

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Speaker 4: gym partner to write down one, just.

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Speaker 3: One push up.

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Speaker 4: That would be dishonest, she said, thinking a big zero

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Speaker 4: on the page. But the worst was a waking nightmare

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Speaker 4: called the Pacer test. The gym teacher would put on

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Speaker 4: this recording a series of progressively faster beeps, and we

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Speaker 4: all had to run across the gym in one big

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Speaker 4: herd before the next beap sounded. When you couldn't do

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Speaker 4: it anymore, you peeled away from the pack and you

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Speaker 4: sat down I'd get tired almost immediately, but the idea

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Speaker 4: of singling myself out as the worst in the class,

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Speaker 4: with everyone watching and smirking, was more than I could take.

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Speaker 4: It was a feeling that persisted throughout my youth, this

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Speaker 4: fear of being exposed as the weakest one in the room.

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Speaker 4: I really wanted to be sporty. I went through a

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Speaker 4: whole tomboy phase for me. This just meant reading historical

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Speaker 4: baseball novels, deciding I liked teams named after birds, and

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Speaker 4: circulating a petition called get Shoeless Joe Jackson into the

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Speaker 4: Hall of Fame. I simply was an athletic. During my

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Speaker 4: short lived career in youth softball, someone hit a pop

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Speaker 4: fly right at me. I watched as the ball arcs

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Speaker 4: through the air, and then I just stood there, stocks

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Speaker 4: still as it landed at my feet with a PLoP. Okay,

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Speaker 4: the coach side. When the ball comes, try to, you know,

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Speaker 4: catch it. It wasn't until my adulthood that I realized

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Speaker 4: I actually like exercising. I just don't like being perceived exercising,

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Speaker 4: And throughout my childhood the two wet hand in hand.

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Speaker 4: Both a little privacy and moving is fun. I realized

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Speaker 4: that I like hiking when I'm alone and not panting. Sorry,

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Speaker 4: go ahead, guys, I'm gonna stop and check out this moss.

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Speaker 4: I like yoga and I'm in the back row and

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Speaker 4: the teacher doesn't look at me. I like dance cardio

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Speaker 4: when I pull it up on a video in my

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Speaker 4: bedroom and tell my partner, under no circumstances enter this bedroom.

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Speaker 4: If the house is on fire, let me burn. But

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Speaker 4: I'm only able to do these things because.

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Speaker 3: I'm not visible.

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Speaker 4: There's this whole other realm of fitness, but I continue

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Speaker 4: to avoid these classes that seem all about being visible.

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Speaker 3: They're taken by.

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Speaker 4: Toned women with blown out hair and the right kind

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Speaker 4: of trendy water bottle. Women who would truly wrinkle their

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Speaker 4: noses at me, smelling my weakness like one of those

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Speaker 4: animals Gerbils, but devour their runtiest children their spin There's

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Speaker 4: bar and at the top of this glamorous, impossible seeming

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Speaker 4: pyramid of exercise is pilates. Charlene starts posting all these

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Speaker 4: Instagram stories about plates. Charlene is my friend from high school,

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Speaker 4: and we're very different people. She works a high paying

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Speaker 4: finance job and is constantly taking videos in nightclubs, whereas

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Speaker 4: I was just laid off from an industry and collapse

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Speaker 4: and only take videos of cats and fish.

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Speaker 3: Even so, we're close.

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Speaker 4: I'm curious about pilates, I respond to our recent story,

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Speaker 4: but it terrifies me. She says, we have to go

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Speaker 4: to a class together. On the one hand, it feels

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Speaker 4: safer to go with Charlene. I'll be able to look

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Speaker 4: at her to know what to do. On the other hand,

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Speaker 4: she'll be able to look at me and judge me

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Speaker 4: and think with pity in her heart about me. Wow,

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Speaker 4: that's sad. We pick a day I am locked in.

355
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Speaker 4: It turns out I know nothing about pilates. I've been

356
00:22:30,889 --> 00:22:33,810
Speaker 4: thinking about it as harder yoga for hot people, but

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Speaker 4: pilates is actually done on a large device called a reformer.

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Speaker 4: When I go to the website for the studio will

359
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Speaker 4: be attending, I'm excited to see a tab called new Timers,

360
00:22:43,530 --> 00:22:46,929
Speaker 4: which isn't the expression first timers, but it just tells

361
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Speaker 4: me I will need gripsocks available for purchase fifteen to

362
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Speaker 4: twenty dollars. We push up to become better. The site

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00:22:53,929 --> 00:22:58,290
Speaker 4: tells me we plank to become stronger, we lunge deeper

364
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Speaker 4: so we can climb over the steepest hill to see

365
00:23:01,010 --> 00:23:06,209
Speaker 4: the beauty on the other side. When I go to

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00:23:06,250 --> 00:23:08,850
Speaker 4: book my spot, I realize with horror that there is

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Speaker 4: no back row for me to hide in. There is

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00:23:11,290 --> 00:23:16,650
Speaker 4: only one long first row. Also, pilateus is expensive to take.

369
00:23:16,689 --> 00:23:19,570
Speaker 4: A single class costs more than a movie ticket, while

370
00:23:19,570 --> 00:23:22,970
Speaker 4: also being shorter and more painful than a movie. Plus,

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Speaker 4: no one ever tells you to buy grip socks to

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Speaker 4: see a movie. When I'm texting Charlene, I notice that

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Speaker 4: my phone keeps auto correcting pilates so that the P

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Speaker 4: is capitalized. This, I discover, is because Pilates is named

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Speaker 4: after a man. Joseph hubertis Pilates in the black and

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Speaker 4: white pictures I find online. He's a compact fellow with

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Speaker 4: a tuft of white hair and a twinkle in his eye,

378
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Speaker 4: kind of like a really ripped Trumpelstiltskin. He invented Pilates

379
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Speaker 4: while in an internment camp on the Isle of Man.

380
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Speaker 4: This is so shocking to me that I start bringing

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Speaker 4: it up to everyone I meet. I'm suddenly obsessed with

382
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Speaker 4: talking about Pilates, and I haven't even taken the class yet, Hi,

383
00:24:11,010 --> 00:24:11,449
Speaker 4: I need.

384
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Speaker 3: To Khalila Holt.

385
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Speaker 2: I've never been here before.

386
00:24:14,050 --> 00:24:17,809
Speaker 4: Yeah, the studio staff welcome me warmly, but well, I'm

387
00:24:17,889 --> 00:24:20,530
Speaker 4: checking in. I noticed that the picture on their brochure

388
00:24:20,570 --> 00:24:22,609
Speaker 4: is a bunch of people holding a plank over a

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Speaker 4: chasm of empty space. When I find my machine, it

390
00:24:26,330 --> 00:24:29,690
Speaker 4: looks like something between a guynecologist's table and a printing press,

391
00:24:29,929 --> 00:24:32,889
Speaker 4: if either of those things had about five times more knobs.

392
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Speaker 4: The instructor comes over and starts pointing, this is the carriage.

393
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Speaker 4: This is the back kickpad. When I say two red,

394
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Speaker 4: one gray, pull on these springs. When I say Toes

395
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Speaker 4: five six, you put your feet here, I nod like

396
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Speaker 4: I'm following. Other women begin to arrive. They all seem

397
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Speaker 4: to have gotten the memo that you're meant to come

398
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Speaker 4: to pilates in a tasteful athleisure set where your sage

399
00:24:53,090 --> 00:24:57,569
Speaker 4: toned sportspra matches your sage toned leggings. I meanwhile, I'm

400
00:24:57,570 --> 00:24:59,810
Speaker 4: wearing a T shirt stained with fake blood from an

401
00:24:59,810 --> 00:25:03,649
Speaker 4: old Halloween costume. By the time Charlene walks in, looking

402
00:25:03,689 --> 00:25:06,409
Speaker 4: fresh off and outing to Lulu Lemon, I'm perched on

403
00:25:06,449 --> 00:25:09,409
Speaker 4: the end of the reformer, afraid to touch anything, fear

404
00:25:09,449 --> 00:25:13,889
Speaker 4: of somehow getting my hand stuck. Hey christ Charlene, ready

405
00:25:13,889 --> 00:25:22,889
Speaker 4: to be a pilateus girly. Pilates is a little like

406
00:25:22,970 --> 00:25:25,969
Speaker 4: boot camp, if instead of preparing for war, you are

407
00:25:26,010 --> 00:25:29,290
Speaker 4: preparing to look hot. The instructor shouts at us through

408
00:25:29,330 --> 00:25:31,889
Speaker 4: a loud mic that's hard to hear under the blasting

409
00:25:31,929 --> 00:25:34,850
Speaker 4: tones of songs like numb mo Encore and other such

410
00:25:34,929 --> 00:25:38,530
Speaker 4: hits from middle school dances past. I'm used to yoga,

411
00:25:38,609 --> 00:25:40,209
Speaker 4: where they go on and on about how there's no

412
00:25:40,290 --> 00:25:42,889
Speaker 4: judgment and you can rest at any time. If you

413
00:25:42,889 --> 00:25:45,649
Speaker 4: try to rest in pilates, the instructor beerates you on

414
00:25:45,689 --> 00:25:48,729
Speaker 4: her loud mic by going, come on, you have to try.

415
00:25:50,290 --> 00:25:53,689
Speaker 4: The whole thing is baffling because I don't understand any

416
00:25:53,689 --> 00:25:56,770
Speaker 4: of it. I mostly try to copy Charlene. The good

417
00:25:56,850 --> 00:25:59,209
Speaker 4: news is that every time we switch to a new move,

418
00:25:59,490 --> 00:26:01,970
Speaker 4: it takes me so long to figure out what's happening

419
00:26:02,050 --> 00:26:03,810
Speaker 4: that I don't have to hold it for very long.

420
00:26:04,609 --> 00:26:05,730
Speaker 3: We move our arms.

421
00:26:05,570 --> 00:26:08,369
Speaker 4: To lift a weighted part of the machine. We plank,

422
00:26:08,649 --> 00:26:14,450
Speaker 4: we lie, we squat, lunge, plank, squat, lunge again. But differently,

423
00:26:14,730 --> 00:26:22,889
Speaker 4: plank again, but on the back this time. Every time

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00:26:22,929 --> 00:26:25,609
Speaker 4: the instructor walks by, I get nervous that she might

425
00:26:25,649 --> 00:26:29,330
Speaker 4: tell me I'm doing something wrong, which I almost certainly am.

426
00:26:29,570 --> 00:26:31,570
Speaker 4: I know that this is normal and that she's here

427
00:26:31,609 --> 00:26:34,810
Speaker 4: to teach, but still all I can think is, don't

428
00:26:34,850 --> 00:26:37,489
Speaker 4: look at me. At one point, she tells us to

429
00:26:37,530 --> 00:26:41,129
Speaker 4: look up towards the wall, and I do great, Khalila,

430
00:26:41,209 --> 00:26:43,289
Speaker 4: she says on her mic, and I'm filled with a

431
00:26:43,330 --> 00:26:47,129
Speaker 4: swell of pride. And then she announces it is time

432
00:26:47,209 --> 00:26:50,250
Speaker 4: for push ups, and for the first time in my life,

433
00:26:50,449 --> 00:26:54,009
Speaker 4: I overcome my long history of humiliation, and I managed

434
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Speaker 4: to do a perfect push up.

435
00:26:56,970 --> 00:26:57,449
Speaker 3: Just kidding.

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Speaker 4: I tactically take a water break and I skip the

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00:26:59,770 --> 00:27:09,530
Speaker 4: push ups all together. And that's our class, the instructor says.

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Speaker 4: I'm surprised it's already over. Charlne turns to look at me,

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00:27:14,010 --> 00:27:18,850
Speaker 4: sprinted tastefully in sweat that she says was the hardest

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Speaker 4: class I've ever taken. On my way out, they hand

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Speaker 4: me one of the brochures with the people planking. You

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Speaker 4: did great today, the instructor tells me, which I know

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Speaker 4: is not true, but I guess I did do that

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00:27:30,449 --> 00:27:33,809
Speaker 4: wall looking thing. I'm surprised by how good I feel,

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00:27:34,129 --> 00:27:37,770
Speaker 4: like I've tapped into my body's potential. I imagine it's much

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00:27:37,810 --> 00:27:40,050
Speaker 4: the same way a mother might feel as she finds

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00:27:40,090 --> 00:27:43,129
Speaker 4: the strength to lift a car off her child, only

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00:27:43,330 --> 00:27:45,889
Speaker 4: in this case, the car is a routine fitness class

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00:27:45,929 --> 00:27:50,970
Speaker 4: and the child is myself. Charlene and I step outside

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00:27:51,010 --> 00:27:54,649
Speaker 4: into the sun. I was really struggling, she says, I

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00:27:54,649 --> 00:27:57,970
Speaker 4: didn't notice. I tell her, well, yeah, she says, as

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Speaker 4: we start walking. It's so hard that all your focus

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00:28:01,169 --> 00:28:03,570
Speaker 4: has to be on what you're doing. You only look

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Speaker 4: at other people to make sure you're doing the right move.

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Speaker 3: It's true, I.

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Speaker 4: Realize when you're holding a plank over a chasm of

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Speaker 4: empty space, the only thing you're thinking about is how

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00:28:13,010 --> 00:28:15,249
Speaker 4: hard it is to keep holding the plank and how

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Speaker 4: you don't want to fall into the chasm of empty space.

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Speaker 4: Who has the stamina to be judgmentally glancing all around

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Speaker 4: not me. I didn't notice a single other person the

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Speaker 4: whole class, which means, in all likelihood, no one.

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Speaker 3: Noticed me either.

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Speaker 4: This episode of Heavyweight was produced by me khalill Holt.

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Speaker 2: And me Stevie Lane, along with Phoebe flan again.

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Speaker 4: Our executive producer is Jonathan Goldstein. Our production council is

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Speaker 4: Jake Flanagin.

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00:29:01,530 --> 00:29:04,969
Speaker 2: Jake Gorsky mixed the episode with original music by Christine Fellows,

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Speaker 2: John K. Sampson, Bluetot Sessions, John Jacoby, Michael Hurst, and

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00:29:08,450 --> 00:29:11,330
Speaker 2: Bobby Lord. Additional scoring by Aaron Paulow.

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Speaker 4: I'd like to give a special thanks to my Plate

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Speaker 4: Studio because I love it.

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Speaker 2: Now Follow us on Twitter at Heavyweight, Instagram at Heavyweight podcast,

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00:29:19,610 --> 00:29:22,769
Speaker 2: or email us at Heavyweight at Pushkin dot Fm.

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00:29:22,850 --> 00:29:25,170
Speaker 4: Jonathan will be back here next week with a brand

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Speaker 4: new episode about what he did in his year off.

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Speaker 3: So tune in.

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Speaker 2: Great episode, Khalila

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Speaker 4: Great Episode, Stevie,