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Speaker 1: Jordan, when was the last time you went to Jerry Duty.

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Speaker 2: I didn't just do Drew duty. I did grind.

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Speaker 1: Is that like a plus sized Jerry Duty?

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Speaker 3: He felt like it you got an hour off for lunch.

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Speaker 3: It was like indict, don't indict, So.

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Speaker 1: To get away with murder?

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Speaker 2: It was really good. There was a lot of dunk

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Speaker 2: what about you.

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Speaker 4: I mean, I've been to like the interviews or whatever

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Speaker 4: where they go and see how crazy.

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Speaker 2: You should be paneling.

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Speaker 1: I think they can and I just cried. I just cried.

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Speaker 4: I was like, I got my period, I'm free lance.

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Speaker 4: I don't I gotta work to pay these taxes on tampons.

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Speaker 2: They're like dismissed.

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Speaker 3: Ow.

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Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, I'm a Shelby to I'm Jordan Carlos.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to Adulting from WNYC Studios, the podcast where we

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Speaker 3: learn to be grown as adults together together to got

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Speaker 3: our This episode was such a good one. We had

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Speaker 3: Michael Kassa from The Daily Show and Atoro Castro Alternatino. Yes,

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Speaker 3: love his style, everything about him man, and.

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Speaker 1: Just a heads up everybody.

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Speaker 4: While I was talking Michael Costa, my mic was not working.

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Speaker 4: I mean, look, I'm just saying our conversation was probably too.

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Speaker 1: Hot in the universe is like, I can't handle it.

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Speaker 2: Put it on Polese. It's gonna sound weird for a

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Speaker 2: few minutes, but it'll be fine.

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Speaker 4: You're fine, We're all fine. The world's are right, We're condoms.

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Speaker 4: You're too cute for bacteria. Bye, bitches, stay don too.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, is this the soul train?

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Speaker 5: Oh Jesus, are you going on vacation this summer?

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Speaker 6: I just I just came from Maine this morning.

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Speaker 2: You know that is the whitest I should I took.

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Speaker 3: I took a boat. I took a boat to a train,

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Speaker 3: to a cab to hear that sounds.

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Speaker 1: Like twelve years a slate. And then I lost my

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Speaker 1: violin along the way.

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Speaker 2: I know.

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Speaker 3: Actually I was like recording the boat, the turning of

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Speaker 3: the water as I was leaving the island and okay whatever,

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Speaker 3: and it was like I was like, Yeah, this ship

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Speaker 3: is like twelve years to sleep, but with a happier ending.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, where is this going?

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Speaker 6: We go?

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 6: You asked me, I'm going.

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Speaker 1: With it, but you went with your you one with

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Speaker 1: your family and.

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Speaker 3: My family with my family to May. Yes, Casco Bay

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Speaker 3: does anybody know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, nice represent it.

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Speaker 4: You got out of the compounds is an odd shout out.

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Speaker 3: So whenever I'm in the summerhouse, we become the black

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Speaker 3: neighborhood on the island.

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Speaker 6: Yes, it's pretty dope.

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Speaker 2: It's pretty dope.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I had a good time.

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Speaker 2: It's great.

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Speaker 1: Do you kids like?

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Speaker 2: My kids love it. They're nice to get out of

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Speaker 2: New York phone i'm.

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Speaker 3: Away, I'm definitely a minority when I'm there. It's just

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Speaker 3: me and the lobsters, uh, the the only things of

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Speaker 3: color there.

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Speaker 2: Basically, I feel.

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Speaker 4: The same way when I go to Holland with my

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Speaker 4: husband because he's Dutch, and I'm like driving, you know,

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Speaker 4: and looking at all these farms.

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Speaker 1: It's not even a fucking black sheep. I'm like, what

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Speaker 1: the fuck?

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Speaker 4: And you go to these towns there is a Harlem,

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Speaker 4: but it's not this Harlem. And you go to these

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Speaker 4: towns and everybody's like the same height with the same

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Speaker 4: eye color, and it's fun.

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Speaker 1: Because they ask you questions, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 4: But then after five minutes, I'm just like, I'm not

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Speaker 4: Obama at the dinner table, you know what i mean,

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Speaker 4: Like you got in a net. You gotta figure this

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Speaker 4: shit out, Like, I can't answer all these questions for you.

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Speaker 4: I'm not your tour guide for race, you know what

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Speaker 4: I mean. I don't have a tip bucket for I'm

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Speaker 4: just kidding.

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Speaker 1: What if I just kept going.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, we got it, we got it. But you're like,

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Speaker 2: you went to a chocolate city.

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Speaker 1: Then I did. I wouldn't New Orleans for SFS. That

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Speaker 1: shit was dope. Have you been?

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Speaker 6: I haven't.

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Speaker 2: I've been to New Orleans, but yes, I love New Orleans.

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Speaker 4: I love going to a place where people look like

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Speaker 4: me and everyone likes like just they don't stink, but they.

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Speaker 1: Got steak, you know what I mean, Like what.

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Speaker 2: They got.

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Speaker 4: The way people suck a crawfish. I'm like, y'all nasty,

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Speaker 4: like y'all that ship. They don't even wash their hands.

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Speaker 4: They just lick your fingers and shake your hand. I'm like,

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Speaker 4: it's great, no wet wife into it.

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Speaker 6: I love the I love their accents too.

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Speaker 3: And when my wife was pregnant, we went down there

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Speaker 3: and everybody's so familiar and then they're like the accent

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Speaker 3: is like that.

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Speaker 6: They told like that and she was.

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Speaker 3: They came up to my wife and they're like, oh,

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Speaker 3: you're gonna have beby big like that.

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Speaker 6: They're like what what did you say?

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Speaker 2: Like, and this lady's like, it's gonna be a boy big.

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Speaker 6: I know it's gonna be a boy big.

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Speaker 3: And we're like it's a girl and she's like it's

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Speaker 3: gonna be a man and a bib okay as I bid.

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Speaker 3: I want to be a police officer too, like a detective.

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Speaker 3: Just look, you know, be like office a TV due

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Speaker 3: wear a shirt like this. You know what I'm saying,

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Speaker 3: Like soft fucking murders, like just get it, like you

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Speaker 3: know that body's up in the back.

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Speaker 7: You you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 4: I do love New Orleans. People are very friendly in

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Speaker 4: New Orleans. I don't know how people get shit done.

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Speaker 4: I just motivated. Grits, scallops, shrimp, gumbo cake, Sazarat.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that ship. I was like I had two of them.

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Speaker 1: I was like, did I go to bed?

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Speaker 4: I don't remember, Like I woke you ever, like get

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Speaker 4: so drunk the room spins like I was in a taxi.

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Speaker 1: I was like slow down. He's like I'm gonna stop.

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Speaker 4: Like I'm like cool, Oh my god, Like I found

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Speaker 4: like a fucking shrimp tail under my titty.

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Speaker 1: I was like, what, that's.

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Speaker 6: A good that's a lucky charm.

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Speaker 2: That's great. You make a wish on that fishtail and

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Speaker 2: it comes true.

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Speaker 4: My husband came with me. Who's an interracial relationship up

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Speaker 4: in here?

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Speaker 8: Okay?

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Speaker 1: Yes, I love this.

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Speaker 4: So are there any black woman with a white man?

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Speaker 7: Where is he?

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Speaker 2: Where is he that is not a white man? You

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Speaker 2: can identify his line?

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Speaker 9: I don't know whatever, Well, if there's a black and

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Speaker 9: white combination, I feel like it's my duty to like,

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Speaker 9: you know, prepare my husband as much as possible, you know,

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Speaker 9: for the Black Royalty that he's gonna fuck a witness

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Speaker 9: right now.

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Speaker 1: It isn't like the middle of.

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Speaker 4: Like every movie like you got it, you got you

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Speaker 4: know what I mean. I'm not like testing him on

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Speaker 4: the electric slide and shit. But but I was like,

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Speaker 4: you need new shoes.

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Speaker 6: Oh what these shoes were like my shoes.

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Speaker 1: If you're gonna go to a Black Royalty party.

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Speaker 2: You need new shoes. You gotta come with the box.

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Speaker 7: And a brush to clean him off with.

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Speaker 1: Exactly. So yeah, I mean he styled himself. You know.

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Speaker 4: I wore a fringe dress of plus sized fringe dress

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Speaker 4: that was fucking so much fun. That shit got caught

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Speaker 4: in the car door every ten minutes. Fringe has so

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Speaker 4: much responsibility. It's like bangs. I'm like, why am I here?

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Speaker 7: You know what I mean?

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, I got stuck in the toilet and

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Speaker 4: I was like, this is my Are you serious? Yes, bitch?

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Speaker 1: Why would I make that out?

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Speaker 4: I don't know?

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Speaker 1: That is a terrible fun to make up. Why would

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Speaker 1: I say that?

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Speaker 2: Like beat it like kind of like a beating.

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Speaker 1: You got to pull it up and do this.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, I got you.

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Speaker 1: Well, you don't know how I'm pig. We pre like this,

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Speaker 1: look at me, look me the fucking fuck.

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Speaker 2: Me up out.

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Speaker 8: Right?

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Speaker 4: That is not like fuck it bit, shake it paper

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Speaker 4: and that my white bit and then our hands get away.

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Speaker 6: I know that.

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Speaker 7: I know that.

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Speaker 2: I know that.

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Speaker 7: I saw cartoons.

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Speaker 1: Then you and then you see some dumb bitch looking

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Speaker 1: at you like how long you got to be? It's

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Speaker 1: just like, do you fucking mind? I hate those little

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Speaker 1: cracks when people look you know what.

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Speaker 2: I mean, like a little bit you on your door?

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Speaker 8: You got that look about you don't well, this is

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Speaker 8: so silly.

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Speaker 4: Welcome back to adult Day, all right, Very excited to

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Speaker 4: bring our first guest to this stage.

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Speaker 1: She's so fucking funny. I met him years ago. He's

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Speaker 1: he's a hoot. He's a hoot.

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Speaker 4: And she's also a correspondent for the Daily Show.

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Speaker 2: That's great.

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Speaker 1: He got a job. That's nice. He's giving up for

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Speaker 1: our friend Michael Costa.

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Speaker 7: Yes, thank you.

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Speaker 1: Hi, Michael.

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Speaker 6: Are you fine with water?

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Speaker 2: Do you want Michael?

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Speaker 6: Do you want anything more than water?

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Speaker 7: I'm good with the water. But thank you very much.

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Speaker 6: You're great.

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Speaker 7: Thanks everybody.

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Speaker 1: Have you been dieting?

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Speaker 10: Yeah, I'm on a strong diet, and that's actually why

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Speaker 10: I'm here today.

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Speaker 7: I want to share with you guys my diet.

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Speaker 2: No, I don't know.

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Speaker 7: I eat every everything that's that you can eat. I eat.

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Speaker 7: I eat as Yeah, I eat.

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Speaker 10: I just felt like it was gonna someone was gonna

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Speaker 10: say it, so I just said, it's.

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Speaker 2: Got to say nobody and exact.

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Speaker 1: Even when you want it, nobody says if you just.

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Speaker 2: Put it in your face.

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Speaker 6: Can I say something? I earn your parents?

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Speaker 7: My parents are here.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but his.

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Speaker 4: Parents are cool, like they they like sold their house

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Speaker 4: in Michigan to get an aparming in the city because

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Speaker 4: they still got good hips.

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Speaker 1: I think they still fuck.

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Speaker 4: Out and about well, yeah, speaking of some in the house, I.

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Speaker 1: Like a fucking ball cop got mom jokes for that ass,

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Speaker 1: so that you will eat later, not mine, but somebody.

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Speaker 11: Else says, I if you love.

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Speaker 10: I've known Michelle a long time and I just knew that.

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Speaker 10: I said when I said the phrase I'll eat anything,

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Speaker 10: I know what she's about to say. So that's why

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Speaker 10: I just beer to the punch and I said I

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Speaker 10: will eat the ass. And then she's like nobody was

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Speaker 10: gonna say she was gonna fucking say.

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Speaker 4: Wait, isn't the first heard I'm wrong, the first time

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Speaker 4: I've ever had sex?

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Speaker 7: Here we go, Mom and dad, can you just step

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Speaker 7: outside for that? This is yeah, we don't have to

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Speaker 7: talk about it. Don't the first time I ever had sex?

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Speaker 2: Well?

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Speaker 10: And this actually is interesting because what is the definition

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Speaker 10: of sex?

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Speaker 7: It was it was a sex. It was anal sex.

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Speaker 1: So is that.

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Speaker 2: Of course?

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Speaker 11: And we're bringing it back to where we started the ass.

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Speaker 11: I thought that's why you were saying that. It was

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Speaker 11: like a setup to what you're gonna say later. So

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Speaker 11: you've Ghelle loves this story.

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Speaker 2: That's beautiful because.

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Speaker 4: When you are safety curious in your teenager curious George.

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Speaker 4: You the girl who thought that if she did in vagina.

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Speaker 10: That's right, yeah, very religious vaginal, vaginal, that's.

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Speaker 7: What it's called.

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Speaker 2: Vagina.

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Speaker 10: Sex was the violins and of God's law, according to her.

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Speaker 7: So I can't I think it's sunning.

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Speaker 10: The backstage, I asked what time this aired on w NYC,

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Speaker 10: and they're like, no, we could never air this show.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, so that's what happened. That's what happened. And did

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Speaker 7: you know did I know what?

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Speaker 2: I was?

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Speaker 10: Seventeen year old man? You don't ask too many questions.

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Speaker 10: You just kind of go with.

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Speaker 7: You go with great. Yeah, yeah, did you think that's

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Speaker 7: what sex was?

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Speaker 12: Well?

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Speaker 7: Yeah, this led to some problems actually, because yeah, it's.

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Speaker 10: You know what, Costa here, John and jan Costa and

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Speaker 10: my wife are sitting in the corner right now.

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Speaker 7: It definitely it definitely throws you off.

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Speaker 10: The next time I had a real relationship was in college,

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Speaker 10: and I kind of thought that was par for the course.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, off the poop, Yeah, yeah, I.

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Speaker 7: Can tell you right now.

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Speaker 6: I'm still waiting for that.

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Speaker 7: Yeah. Yeah, it's been I've been married for eleven years.

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Speaker 7: I'm like, is this is this? What do you you know?

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Speaker 11: I know it's like paper and WHOA which one's animal?

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Speaker 2: When mean?

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Speaker 7: Yeah, when you get to bubble, it's forever, right, it's

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Speaker 7: like forever.

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Speaker 10: Well, that's interesting you've been that up because I have

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Speaker 10: zero desire at this point. I feel like you know,

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Speaker 10: I've been to the mountaintop.

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Speaker 7: I wish we could switch ticks. This is crazy.

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Speaker 13: I can see movies if face Off was so successful.

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Speaker 13: Switch You already got the same shoes on.

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Speaker 12: Jordan.

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Speaker 2: You run it up. You always bring it up.

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Speaker 12: Don't do this.

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Speaker 7: Bringing up just for her stage.

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Speaker 2: Speaks on this with my husband.

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Speaker 1: He went in an when he came over and made

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Speaker 1: the char answer.

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Speaker 2: Together.

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Speaker 4: You went in l at the time, and you give

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Speaker 4: us the best advice possible form moving into so long.

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Speaker 7: You always say this, but I don't remember. Was it space?

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Speaker 2: Yes? Yeah, okay, you.

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Speaker 7: Think you might not need it, right, and it's so good.

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Speaker 1: And I live by I need more than one toiler

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Speaker 1: in my house.

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Speaker 2: I can't.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, I'm glad that that was good advice.

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Speaker 10: It's funny that that was the advice because right now

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Speaker 10: we live in Williamsburg in about a three hundred square

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Speaker 10: foot apartment and she works from home.

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Speaker 7: I'm off this week so it's we need space.

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Speaker 6: Is that's why I'm here.

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Speaker 7: She said, you want to do the show and I

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Speaker 7: was like, is it in my apartment?

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Speaker 2: And you said no, and I was like, I'll be there.

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Speaker 2: I'll be at that show, tru. What do you want?

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Speaker 1: What do you want for yourself?

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Speaker 4: Highest biggest wish and want adult lunch twenty years from

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Speaker 4: now for you and your wife.

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Speaker 10: Oh man, Look, we went to Italy a couple of

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Speaker 10: years ago and in the morning there were these four

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Speaker 10: old Italian men drinking espressos at the coffee shops, like nine, am, okay,

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Speaker 10: we go out, we do our whole day, we get lunch,

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Speaker 10: we take a nap somewhere, we two are at church.

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Speaker 7: We come back.

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Speaker 10: These four men are sitting there drinking espresso. It's Tuesday,

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Speaker 10: I don't know, there's not a phone anywhere. And I

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Speaker 10: just looked at them and I said, I just want

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Speaker 10: to be able to be content like that because I'm not.

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Speaker 1: A place for free healthcare.

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Speaker 10: Well I don't know, I mean, and for all I know,

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Speaker 10: these are miserable men bitching about the world.

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Speaker 7: I don't know.

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Speaker 10: But they just was like, sit be still together, be

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Speaker 10: present together. And that's why I put a cell phone

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Speaker 10: blocker in this room tonight.

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Speaker 4: Hey, adulting listeners, have you ever thought to yourself, Wow,

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Speaker 4: I really need some adulting advice from Jordan and Michelle

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Speaker 4: aka Jordell.

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Speaker 1: Well, here's your chance.

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Speaker 3: Oh hell yeah, we're doing a super special show where

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Speaker 3: we're answering your adulting questions.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, so exciting. So submit yours now and

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00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,520
Speaker 4: we will change your life.

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Speaker 1: Honey. Just go to adultingpod dot.

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Speaker 4: Org and click on ask your Adulting Questions to submit

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Speaker 4: your questions.

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00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:45,280
Speaker 2: That's adultingpod dot org.

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Speaker 4: Adultingpod dot org. We'll be answering them with a surprise

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00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:52,360
Speaker 4: guests and it's gonna be so so cute. So presh,

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Speaker 4: I mean, well.

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Speaker 7: Tll back to adult.

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Speaker 4: All right, you guys work out some questions about adulting.

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Speaker 4: We're gonna answer them. Yes, how long should you wait

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Speaker 4: to move in together? Oh, in New York, like three weeks.

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Speaker 7: Which is a good amount of time.

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Speaker 1: A good amount of time, I say, a good year.

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Speaker 6: I think a good amount of time a good year.

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Speaker 1: But also go on a lot of trips together so

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Speaker 1: you can see how they act.

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Speaker 6: Oh yeah, yeah, and.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't even have to be like outside the country,

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Speaker 1: like go to life.

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Speaker 6: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: We'll stop Connecticut.

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Speaker 2: It's a lot cheaper.

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Speaker 3: How long do you stay on the apps? Bumble hinge

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Speaker 3: et cetera, or for giving the fuck up? It's I

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Speaker 3: got that they were They didn't even write a question mark, that's.

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Speaker 2: Don will Did you write this? I did not write

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Speaker 2: that one.

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00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:08,560
Speaker 6: How long you sitting on I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 6: I mean both of us just met people by like

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Speaker 6: in real life.

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Speaker 4: Right, yeah, but I also did some internet dating when

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00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:18,280
Speaker 4: it first came out. Oh yeah, it's like Yago personals

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Speaker 4: old school.

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00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:20,000
Speaker 2: It was.

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Speaker 1: It was like filling out a W nine. I was like,

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Speaker 1: why do I have to put my driver's license and

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00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:31,240
Speaker 1: my passport? I'm writing an essay about myself.

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00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,359
Speaker 4: Like now, motherfuckers are just like on food kick just

377
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:37,920
Speaker 4: fucking look at a dick, like I can't even yeah, click,

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00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:38,840
Speaker 4: it's in the basket.

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Speaker 2: You got dick, okay, cue. But it's like trying to

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Speaker 2: get into college. It is so much to get into

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Speaker 2: open okay, cube it that is fucked up. You gotta

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Speaker 2: write essays and ship Yes.

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Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. You got a spell check?

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00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:51,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's too much.

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Speaker 1: Apostrophies I don't think it's too much. I think it's enough.

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Speaker 1: You don't want to be with the motherfucker that doesn't

387
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:55,800
Speaker 1: want a spell?

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00:18:57,480 --> 00:19:00,760
Speaker 2: My buddy does. What's the when you you share like

389
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:07,280
Speaker 2: uber pool and Huberpool's ass.

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00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:10,639
Speaker 6: Yeah, he meets girls on Oberpool, he meets ladies.

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Speaker 1: What do you have been warms?

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Speaker 2: The fuck is?

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Speaker 6: Everybody is clutching their toes bags.

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Speaker 7: I fu were gonna have a meeting about this.

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Speaker 2: To answer the question.

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Speaker 4: Seriously, if you are tired of the bumble and the

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Speaker 4: ship like that, then you know that you're tired of it.

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Speaker 1: Don't do it, do something else. That's all.

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00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:42,520
Speaker 6: Also, I mean I said this all the time. Those

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00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:48,639
Speaker 6: are free apps, so it's like you were investing not

401
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:51,080
Speaker 6: hearing anyway.

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Speaker 4: Wives and there, Well, the apps are free. What you

403
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:57,000
Speaker 4: get what you paid for because dating is expensive. It's

404
00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:59,400
Speaker 4: like you gotta buy rounds. Get the fuck out of here.

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00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:01,560
Speaker 4: Let's just get a picture of Sangria.

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Speaker 6: Hashtag adult okay.

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00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:08,240
Speaker 1: Next question, is it okay to flirt when you're in

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Speaker 1: a relationship?

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Speaker 2: Whoa shit?

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Speaker 12: You know what?

411
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,280
Speaker 4: People think I'm a flirt, but I think I'm just

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00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:18,320
Speaker 4: being polite, and I think people often mistake politeness for

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00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,360
Speaker 4: flirtation and do you know what I mean? And it's

414
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,280
Speaker 4: just like, oh, you've never met a happy person before,

415
00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:27,359
Speaker 4: Like I can't touch his shoulder without thinking, like somebody

416
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:28,080
Speaker 4: will sucky dick?

417
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:30,200
Speaker 1: Is this Turkey in eighteen sixty two? Get the fuck

418
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,160
Speaker 1: out of here? I don't.

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Speaker 3: I just feel like you have to be like a

420
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:39,880
Speaker 3: little like not flirty, but like, you know, flirt adjacent.

421
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:43,960
Speaker 7: With folks that like Whole Foods or something that you.

422
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,560
Speaker 2: Know what I'm saying When you come up to the cashier.

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00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:48,159
Speaker 6: And I was like mad at you and I was like,

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00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:48,879
Speaker 6: what's going on?

425
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Speaker 2: How's your day?

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Speaker 7: You know what I'm saying, because.

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00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:55,200
Speaker 1: That is politeness, dude, I know, But oh, okay, cool.

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00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,600
Speaker 1: You know we have talked about especially married couples. You

429
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:04,760
Speaker 1: could tell the couples that have like Oprah.

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00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:08,080
Speaker 4: Relationships and they just try to like flirt and get

431
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:10,160
Speaker 4: drunk and fuck everybody and kiss you on the lips

432
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:10,639
Speaker 4: by accident.

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00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:14,840
Speaker 1: You're like, no, no, I don't like that. Ship that

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00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:15,399
Speaker 1: doesn't I.

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00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:19,840
Speaker 2: Never, that does not happen to me. I don't know

436
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:24,520
Speaker 2: what kind of soirreres you're going to do, but I yes,

437
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:28,200
Speaker 2: So what if the fut up. I'm not going there.

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Speaker 2: Oh Lordamercy.

439
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:32,240
Speaker 4: Okay, next question, do I leave my boyfriend if he

440
00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:33,479
Speaker 4: refuses to go to therapy?

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00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:34,200
Speaker 3: Yes?

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00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:35,200
Speaker 2: Wow?

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00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:38,640
Speaker 3: Whoa wow?

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00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,400
Speaker 2: How did that question? Watch up here?

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00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:49,240
Speaker 6: That's all right?

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00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:52,200
Speaker 2: How are we the quarter astrasor for that? What do

447
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:52,560
Speaker 2: you think?

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00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:53,640
Speaker 7: Yeah?

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00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:55,640
Speaker 1: You know, heading back?

450
00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:58,800
Speaker 7: You're just out of your friend?

451
00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:08,240
Speaker 2: I don't know. Okay, okay, okay, okay, people all right, just.

452
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:14,000
Speaker 7: Turning into a town hall. I feel attack a second.

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00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:18,399
Speaker 1: Trust the answer, Michelle, Please hailer.

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Speaker 7: I don't like that.

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00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:26,240
Speaker 1: Again? Getting back so you kind of know the answer. Also,

456
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:29,560
Speaker 1: it's just like what do you want to work on? Right? Like,

457
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:30,720
Speaker 1: what is the thing you want to work on?

458
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:34,440
Speaker 6: Also? The thing you want to work on?

459
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:36,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I'm sure there's.

460
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:39,440
Speaker 6: Like a issue, right, must be the dynamics of that relationship.

461
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:45,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, he sounds he sounds insecure and controlling. And I

462
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:48,840
Speaker 4: don't know how you're gonna suck that dick. I couldn't

463
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:51,119
Speaker 4: put my face in someone's crouch that didn't want to

464
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:52,600
Speaker 4: better themselves as a human band.

465
00:22:57,200 --> 00:23:01,679
Speaker 1: I agree, put that shit on a magnet. Very excited

466
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:04,560
Speaker 1: to bring our next guest. Well, damn, he's so great.

467
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,680
Speaker 4: He's got a show coming out on Comedy Central, call Alternatino.

468
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:08,480
Speaker 10: He's been on.

469
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:12,520
Speaker 1: He's been on broad sitting.

470
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:14,000
Speaker 7: On Comedy Central.

471
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:16,160
Speaker 1: He's also been on Netflix.

472
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:18,960
Speaker 7: Is not, of course castro Yo?

473
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:30,240
Speaker 9: You go here?

474
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:30,800
Speaker 3: Is it over?

475
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:31,360
Speaker 2: Is it over?

476
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 7: Take this.

477
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 1: Locket nugget.

478
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:45,240
Speaker 12: I don't, I don't talk about I'm so sorry. It

479
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:47,600
Speaker 12: will also be a bad time to mention I'm not Latino.

480
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:51,520
Speaker 12: I'm actually Scottish. I've been coasting on this look.

481
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:52,080
Speaker 7: For a long time.

482
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:55,520
Speaker 6: It works for you, it works, thank you so much.

483
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:56,560
Speaker 2: And that shirt works for you?

484
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:56,840
Speaker 6: Man?

485
00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:57,720
Speaker 2: Where's that from?

486
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:03,160
Speaker 6: This is from Tommy Bahamas.

487
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:07,800
Speaker 1: Like the Christmas section, What was your audition like for

488
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:08,359
Speaker 1: Broad City?

489
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:12,040
Speaker 12: The first audition was in this really tiny room called

490
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 12: n White Casting, So I didn't know it was a

491
00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:16,879
Speaker 12: TV show, you know, I it was my first audition

492
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:20,760
Speaker 12: for a TV pilot, not for lack of trying. Literally,

493
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:23,840
Speaker 12: like my first other job on TV was called It's

494
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,520
Speaker 12: for the Good Wife and the character was called Dishwasher Juan.

495
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:31,879
Speaker 12: It's on my own, which makes the question like, how

496
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:35,479
Speaker 12: many fucking wants were there in that episode? Those are

497
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:37,760
Speaker 12: the firefire Juan and doctor Juan that we all just

498
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:39,480
Speaker 12: have to have specific titles.

499
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:39,600
Speaker 5: To what we do.

500
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:43,359
Speaker 2: And then the callback was a Comedy Central, so.

501
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,320
Speaker 12: That was like, you know, intimidating in glass offices and

502
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:48,320
Speaker 12: it had air conditioning, which I was not used to.

503
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:52,920
Speaker 12: And I walked into the room and there was Abby

504
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:56,480
Speaker 12: and Ilana and uh, They're like, hey, thank you so

505
00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:57,120
Speaker 12: much for coming.

506
00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:58,480
Speaker 2: And I was like I did not have a choice.

507
00:24:58,520 --> 00:24:59,159
Speaker 2: A force me.

508
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:06,000
Speaker 12: And after that they like laughed and after that, Yeah,

509
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,000
Speaker 12: it just sort of turning into this dream come true.

510
00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:08,760
Speaker 1: Oh I.

511
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:15,480
Speaker 2: Still can't afford Tommy but ham t shirts. But one day,

512
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:17,640
Speaker 2: one day, it's pretty nice.

513
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:20,720
Speaker 12: But it was really it was like the luck that

514
00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:23,480
Speaker 12: it was my first pilot audition and then had turned

515
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:25,919
Speaker 12: into a TV show that the TV show turned out

516
00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:26,680
Speaker 12: to be Brought City.

517
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:28,360
Speaker 2: It was like, you know, like it was just such

518
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:31,360
Speaker 2: a blessing. Yeah, it changed your life completely. Yeah?

519
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:32,000
Speaker 6: Were you?

520
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:33,159
Speaker 1: Were you single?

521
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:34,200
Speaker 2: Are you?

522
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:35,280
Speaker 1: What's your deal?

523
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:37,919
Speaker 2: I am gold? All right, don't worry about it.

524
00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:41,399
Speaker 6: Don't don't want you help me out?

525
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:41,760
Speaker 3: Can you do?

526
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:51,040
Speaker 12: Like Pitbull is about to show up? Every time I

527
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:57,120
Speaker 12: heard that, you know, yes, I'm a single? Being single

528
00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:58,960
Speaker 12: was crazy. This city is crazy.

529
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:01,400
Speaker 2: Not in a great way.

530
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:04,760
Speaker 1: It's been like one of your craziest dates.

531
00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:07,119
Speaker 2: Well, there's a lot of like this sort of like

532
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:09,440
Speaker 2: assumption that like, because you're Latin, you have to be

533
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:12,280
Speaker 2: like smooth, you know, or like you like spicy food,

534
00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:12,520
Speaker 2: you know.

535
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:14,960
Speaker 12: And I'm we're really big fan of Macha, you know,

536
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 12: so they're always we were talking about this backstage because

537
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:22,040
Speaker 12: you met your husband at this club called Bembi.

538
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:30,600
Speaker 2: Which is ye oh my okay, but put you put

539
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 2: bimba in alternative.

540
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:34,000
Speaker 12: I put it in my show because I'm a terrible dancer,

541
00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:36,600
Speaker 12: and so everyones like, do you know what sausa place?

542
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:39,440
Speaker 12: I'm like, a, yes, I do, well, I called Bembe.

543
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:42,719
Speaker 12: But like there's actual good dancers and people that are

544
00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:46,320
Speaker 12: actually like these Dominican playboy dudes. You know, you're just

545
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:47,760
Speaker 12: in the bag of being like where's the punch? Is

546
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:49,280
Speaker 12: the punch just gonna be served anytime?

547
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:52,520
Speaker 4: Don't doesn't wear a linen tank top with no bra. Sure,

548
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 4: live your best life. Act like you're auditioning for a

549
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:57,560
Speaker 4: j Love video or maybe the matrix from that sea

550
00:26:57,600 --> 00:26:58,440
Speaker 4: where everyone's dancing.

551
00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:04,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've actually been in there.

552
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:05,879
Speaker 6: He used the ATM and.

553
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:11,040
Speaker 7: The energy is very sexual.

554
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,840
Speaker 6: Says not but I was like, wow, they are getting

555
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:17,080
Speaker 6: had you do meet tonight?

556
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:17,720
Speaker 7: You know what I mean?

557
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:20,720
Speaker 2: It was like, you know, bubble, yeah, a bubble trouble, Like.

558
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:22,879
Speaker 1: It feels like everyone's gonna turn to that vampire. So

559
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:26,160
Speaker 1: why did you put ben Bee in your show?

560
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:29,200
Speaker 12: Because it's a it's a place that always makes me

561
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:34,280
Speaker 12: feel inadequate, you know, and I know, you know, yeah, like.

562
00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:36,240
Speaker 2: Everybody's looking to you like you should look like you

563
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:37,600
Speaker 2: could have the moves, but you.

564
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:40,040
Speaker 12: Don't, and you're asking if everybody needs water, you know,

565
00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:43,080
Speaker 12: Like I'm just like the soccer data to be like, okay, guys,

566
00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:45,159
Speaker 12: a little leave some space for the Holy Ghost, you know,

567
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:47,600
Speaker 12: and you can't because everybody's just.

568
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:52,320
Speaker 1: Like they're just like okay, thank you.

569
00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:53,040
Speaker 2: This feels good.

570
00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:54,320
Speaker 7: I love that. Yeah.

571
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:57,080
Speaker 4: But there's always something about our nationality or culture that

572
00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:59,159
Speaker 4: like we can't live up to right Like as a

573
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:01,920
Speaker 4: black woman, everyone want automatically thinks that I'm gonna be

574
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:03,760
Speaker 4: able to clap my ass and be like Cardi B

575
00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:05,840
Speaker 4: at a picnic, and that's.

576
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:08,159
Speaker 2: Just not you know, that is what Cardi B does

577
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,119
Speaker 2: at a picnic. You know, it's it's internationally not.

578
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:14,080
Speaker 1: There's always something like what do you feel in people.

579
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:20,440
Speaker 3: Well, people are like, oh, I'm sure he's you know,

580
00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:22,280
Speaker 3: great at the basketball.

581
00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 2: And and actually I'm a very good punter. I can.

582
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:29,639
Speaker 2: I can put a football like fire like. People are like,

583
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:31,840
Speaker 2: that's a great punt. It's great. Man.

584
00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:38,280
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, yes, no, that's good.

585
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:41,440
Speaker 2: Thank you so much. Tell me tell us a little

586
00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:45,280
Speaker 2: bit about you childhood man. Childhood. Yeah, so I was waterways.

587
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:49,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the beginning of every law and order.

588
00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:54,959
Speaker 2: Tell me about your formative view. Thank you. The here

589
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:58,040
Speaker 2: is needy five and what am I? Yeah, sex with it.

590
00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:02,640
Speaker 2: I'm bunning the streets. No, my child was really really pleasant.

591
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:05,680
Speaker 12: Actually, so my dad was a psychiatrist and my mom

592
00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 12: is a perfumist, so you know, our mental health smelled delicious.

593
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:15,440
Speaker 2: No, but I grew up. I grew up with three sisters.

594
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:17,760
Speaker 2: That's such a weird thing. Like, that's a psychidrit that

595
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:20,280
Speaker 2: just sniffed your head to see how you're doing. Like, mm,

596
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 2: we need some work to do. We got some work

597
00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:27,160
Speaker 2: to feel. Yeah, so I grew up in a house

598
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:28,280
Speaker 2: with four women.

599
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:31,920
Speaker 12: I have three sisters older, but I'm seven years younger

600
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:33,800
Speaker 12: than them, so I had to spend a lot of time.

601
00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:38,480
Speaker 2: Did you have to borrow their clothes, well, not willingly. Yeah.

602
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:42,240
Speaker 2: I was definitely the dress up to treat a woman. Yes,

603
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 2: well that's the thing. Right.

604
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:45,560
Speaker 12: So in my house, especially in such a macho place

605
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:48,080
Speaker 12: like Onanamala, I was very lucky that, like my house

606
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 12: was run by really strong women, right, because.

607
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:51,160
Speaker 2: They taught me.

608
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:54,680
Speaker 12: I was never into soccer or like you know, hard stuff.

609
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:58,400
Speaker 12: I was like, mom, like, I don't I like putting sports.

610
00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:01,400
Speaker 12: I don't like fixing cars. It's like I your your

611
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:06,080
Speaker 12: strength is your vulnerability, right, Like what makes you unique

612
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:08,000
Speaker 12: is that you're in a pathetic That's a good thing, right,

613
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:10,160
Speaker 12: So fourteen years later I might used to make money

614
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:11,520
Speaker 12: out of it, but like you know, at first, it

615
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:14,000
Speaker 12: was just it was just a very understanding household, particularly

616
00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:15,720
Speaker 12: in a place that's not that open minded.

617
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:21,800
Speaker 2: Like I really know what happens with Guatemala. Jesus Christ,

618
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 2: there's a lot of yu.

619
00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:26,320
Speaker 6: But you made an awesome sketch about Guatemala because I've.

620
00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:27,880
Speaker 2: Been to Costa Rica. Fucking hell.

621
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:31,360
Speaker 12: That was the premise. That was the premise of the sketch, right, Yeah,

622
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:34,520
Speaker 12: so we have this whole sketch about a cup to Waatemala.

623
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 12: Ad that's like, what the mother.

624
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:38,280
Speaker 2: We have an ancient saying. If you listen to the line,

625
00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 2: you're gonna hear it say fuck Costa Rica, you know,

626
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:43,280
Speaker 2: which I don't mean it.

627
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:45,520
Speaker 12: I love Costa Rica. But it's like, you know because

628
00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:47,280
Speaker 12: whenever I asked my boyfriend's, uh, why do.

629
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:49,360
Speaker 2: They go to Costa Rican? Said on them and they're like,

630
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:51,560
Speaker 2: there's what. I'm all part of Mexico And I'm like,

631
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:52,000
Speaker 2: fuck you.

632
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:55,560
Speaker 12: I remember speaking of being single, I've met these girls

633
00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:56,600
Speaker 12: and they're like, so, where you from?

634
00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:58,040
Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh what them all? They're like, oh

635
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:00,880
Speaker 2: my god. They turned to each other like we horror.

636
00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:08,160
Speaker 2: But I was slowely, so I was like, fucking yeah, yeah,

637
00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:08,640
Speaker 2: that's great.

638
00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:10,400
Speaker 1: You need more federal funding.

639
00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:13,320
Speaker 2: But yeah. But the thing is, that's.

640
00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:18,479
Speaker 3: But you're you, Okay, So you've gone from being an

641
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:21,160
Speaker 3: actor and now you're a producer. That to me feels

642
00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 3: like a step up in maturity and adulthood.

643
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:25,080
Speaker 12: What is it like to have people working with Yeah,

644
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:27,160
Speaker 12: you have to be their boss, and that's it's a

645
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:29,440
Speaker 12: learning process for sure. It's a learning process because you

646
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:31,800
Speaker 12: used to talking to people like you would to yourself.

647
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:34,200
Speaker 12: You know what I'm saying, Like I'm very hard on

648
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:36,920
Speaker 12: myself or like my like when I mess up a

649
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 12: joke or like something's not perfect.

650
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:41,200
Speaker 2: I'm such a perfectionist. And you have to understand the people.

651
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:45,120
Speaker 12: You know, the process of other people's creativity is completely different, right,

652
00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:46,960
Speaker 12: And it's weird because nobody tells you how to be

653
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:49,640
Speaker 12: a boss. Really, Nobody like is like, hey, here's soventy

654
00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:50,280
Speaker 12: people working for you.

655
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:51,000
Speaker 2: Always feel like.

656
00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:53,680
Speaker 1: College courses should be like how are you? How should

657
00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 1: you be a parent? How should you be a boss?

658
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:57,920
Speaker 1: How do you speak up for yourself?

659
00:31:58,040 --> 00:31:58,080
Speaker 3: Like?

660
00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:01,680
Speaker 1: Thank you political science? That's great? Thank you accounting? Who cares?

661
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:05,000
Speaker 4: You're just gonna go to like TurboTax Anyways. I feel

662
00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:08,240
Speaker 4: like there are so many other lessons that we.

663
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:09,200
Speaker 1: Need to talk about.

664
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:11,960
Speaker 12: You just have to realize that it's other people's dreams too,

665
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 12: do you know what I mean? People are spending their

666
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:16,920
Speaker 12: talent in their time to make your vision a reality.

667
00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:19,840
Speaker 12: You have to be extra kind with their creativity, you know.

668
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:21,840
Speaker 12: And it's something that I had to learn, you know.

669
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:25,560
Speaker 2: Yea, and yeah, and assistants are weird, Like I never

670
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:26,600
Speaker 2: thought i'd have an assistant.

671
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:30,600
Speaker 7: I'm like, I don't have anything for you to do. Yeah.

672
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:35,400
Speaker 4: Okay, let's answer some questions about adulting. Pick one, call

673
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:36,760
Speaker 4: it what's your name? Where you call it from?

674
00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:42,440
Speaker 7: Well?

675
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:44,960
Speaker 2: I ever know how to do taxes, right, bitch?

676
00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:51,480
Speaker 1: Oh I'm an America now, not just talk about.

677
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:54,880
Speaker 2: Accounting, Turbo tax ladies, gentlemen. It's really easy. I mean,

678
00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:58,040
Speaker 2: I guess it gets complicated, doesn't it? Like deductions? Like

679
00:32:58,080 --> 00:32:58,400
Speaker 2: do you guys?

680
00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:00,560
Speaker 1: Don't you make the more complicated it gets? But what

681
00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:02,680
Speaker 1: I love to do. It's like a hairdresser. I ask people,

682
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:03,440
Speaker 1: who do you like?

683
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:09,920
Speaker 2: I have my guy. His name is Lev. He's awesome.

684
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:12,920
Speaker 2: He gives me the extension. We always see the extension.

685
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:13,840
Speaker 2: Oh wait, gives me too.

686
00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 8: Man.

687
00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:16,360
Speaker 2: Everybody's like stressing out in March or whatever.

688
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:18,560
Speaker 12: I'm like, yo, I'm chilling. Then too comes along and

689
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:22,000
Speaker 12: I was like, I'm gonna get deported. Oh my god, ice, No,

690
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:23,040
Speaker 12: they're gonna find me out.

691
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 1: Don't get supported costa Rica by accident.

692
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:30,760
Speaker 2: And I'll be like, this is such a really nice

693
00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:33,080
Speaker 2: zip line.

694
00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:34,040
Speaker 1: Okay, last question?

695
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:39,320
Speaker 12: How much should I be spending on bars on the weekend?

696
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:39,880
Speaker 7: Oh?

697
00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:42,960
Speaker 3: How much is it?

698
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:46,640
Speaker 2: Says a dude? Wait?

699
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 7: Can I tell you, dude?

700
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:50,120
Speaker 1: How much should I that's.

701
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:50,880
Speaker 2: Not how much money you make.

702
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:53,720
Speaker 12: But I'd say, like, not more than five percent of

703
00:33:53,760 --> 00:34:02,840
Speaker 12: your salary, right, Sue Ormond, I'll.

704
00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:05,800
Speaker 4: Say, as somebody who loves to drink, I used to

705
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:08,719
Speaker 4: go out and I'm a type of drunk where everybody's

706
00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:13,160
Speaker 4: my family. I start doing rounds. My credit card doesn't

707
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:16,920
Speaker 4: go through. I think I gotta wash dishes, but no,

708
00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:19,960
Speaker 4: I I get it. So I used to spend like

709
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:21,319
Speaker 4: at least two fifty a night.

710
00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:26,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was are you Are you trying to heal

711
00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:27,080
Speaker 1: me right now?

712
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:28,400
Speaker 4: No?

713
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:29,680
Speaker 1: I don't give it. That's why I'm broke.

714
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:32,520
Speaker 3: But have you ever had such a good time like you?

715
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,239
Speaker 3: You like you have to come back the next stid

716
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:36,399
Speaker 3: of the bar for your debit card?

717
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:37,040
Speaker 2: You ever do that?

718
00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:40,520
Speaker 1: Oh my god, is it a good time unless you

719
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:40,800
Speaker 1: do that?

720
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 2: Like I don't.

721
00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:44,000
Speaker 1: Now they start charging you fifteen percent.

722
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:44,239
Speaker 2: Of that shit.

723
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:46,120
Speaker 1: I was like, rude, I just cancel that shit, get

724
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:52,600
Speaker 1: a new one, Like, fuck you, I gave you such

725
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:53,640
Speaker 1: a big tip. Fuck you?

726
00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:54,680
Speaker 2: You see that?

727
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:56,719
Speaker 7: Do you see the building? Fuck you?

728
00:34:57,360 --> 00:34:59,240
Speaker 2: You see the building next day and you like consider

729
00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:02,359
Speaker 2: it calling it for You're like, I don't know if

730
00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:03,840
Speaker 2: I like.

731
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:04,640
Speaker 1: To have a card all the time.

732
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:06,799
Speaker 4: It's always in my bra or my boot. I put

733
00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:09,719
Speaker 4: it everywhere, and my whole body's a loss of found box.

734
00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:10,440
Speaker 4: You have trusting guys?

735
00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:11,200
Speaker 1: Why am I telling you this?

736
00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:18,200
Speaker 4: And one time I was at Kinko's like printing resumes

737
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:24,400
Speaker 4: as you do. I'm seventy two years old, and I forgot.

738
00:35:24,520 --> 00:35:26,360
Speaker 4: I forgot you put your card.

739
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:28,200
Speaker 1: In the thing, and so I was like, where's my card?

740
00:35:28,239 --> 00:35:30,160
Speaker 1: I gotta pay for all this paper? And so I

741
00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:32,120
Speaker 1: called all the bars I was at the night before.

742
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:35,560
Speaker 4: I was like, well, I got a log out and

743
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:37,120
Speaker 4: hopefully walk out of here, like I didn't pay for

744
00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:39,520
Speaker 4: my meala Denny's. And then my card came back out

745
00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:44,760
Speaker 4: and I was like, bitch, God, I feel so vulnerable.

746
00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:48,680
Speaker 4: So what's one thing you want for yourself adulting wise?

747
00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:51,520
Speaker 4: You know, in terms of not careers so much, because

748
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:53,120
Speaker 4: it's very difficult to make it in New York and

749
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 4: you have.

750
00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:56,279
Speaker 2: I'm working on it, you know. I don't think you

751
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:57,919
Speaker 2: ever feel like you make it totally.

752
00:35:58,040 --> 00:35:59,920
Speaker 12: But like I feel like if I ever have a

753
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:02,480
Speaker 12: balcony where I can put some plants on it, I'll

754
00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:03,680
Speaker 12: be like get.

755
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 2: You know, yeah, that'd yes, you mean like a fire Escape. Yeah,

756
00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:11,520
Speaker 2: that's exactly what I.

757
00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:18,960
Speaker 7: What a beauty.

758
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:31,399
Speaker 2: This is such a fun show.

759
00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:34,320
Speaker 1: It was very fun. I mean Michael Cossa brought it.

760
00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:35,920
Speaker 2: Archer Castro brought it.

761
00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:37,120
Speaker 12: It was so so good.

762
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:39,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is the hardest part.

763
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:43,040
Speaker 1: Oh the credits, but here we go.

764
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:46,320
Speaker 4: Adulting was produced by Blakeney Schick and O'delia Rubin. The

765
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:50,880
Speaker 4: Adulting team includes Joanna Solatara, Paula Schumann, Joe Plored, Kicking Zimma,

766
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,840
Speaker 4: George Wallington, and Irene Trudell, and the live show is

767
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:55,480
Speaker 4: produced by Christian Banda.

768
00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:58,439
Speaker 2: Our theme music is by Isaac Jones, with additional music

769
00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:00,440
Speaker 2: by Don will Man.

770
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:02,479
Speaker 6: If you like this episode, straight us.

771
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:05,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, or write a review or both. I don't know

772
00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:07,640
Speaker 1: if I'm going to read them, but I might.

773
00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:09,279
Speaker 2: You read all of those.

774
00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:09,960
Speaker 4: I can't.

775
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:10,960
Speaker 2: You can't not.

776
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:14,200
Speaker 1: I can'tnot look at this one star review?

777
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:16,680
Speaker 2: Okay, always you always pull that.

778
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:18,759
Speaker 4: Do I sound like a lady in the Upper west

779
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:24,000
Speaker 4: Side that's in a focus group? Bubby, Bobby, come see

780
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:24,680
Speaker 4: the one star?

781
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:27,640
Speaker 2: Oh my god, do you have any words of wisdom.

782
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:28,040
Speaker 6: Before you leave?

783
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:34,480
Speaker 4: My words of wisdom? This this episode is something from

784
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:37,240
Speaker 4: a Bob Marley song. And I'm sure from like other places.

785
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:40,560
Speaker 4: But if you don't stand for something.

786
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:41,440
Speaker 2: You will fall for anything.

787
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:45,759
Speaker 1: Ah yeah that Wow, it's been a week.

788
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:57,200
Speaker 2: I was just gonna say, if you're over thirty guys,

789
00:37:57,600 --> 00:37:58,720
Speaker 2: stop wearing shorts.