Speaker 1: When I was twelve, I was not exposed to the
Speaker 1: amount of options of what my life could be like
Speaker 1: that Joe has been exposed to just because because of
Speaker 1: the era that we live in. It's a good point
Speaker 1: and because of that, like this generation, starting the millennials
Speaker 1: gen Z, the amount of anxiety, depression, suicide has gone up.
Speaker 1: Do you think that there's correlation of like a twelve
Speaker 1: year old asking us, how do I get all of
Speaker 1: this stuff that I've seen? I didn't think about that.
Speaker 1: I didn't think about that. But he's all available. So
Speaker 1: he's going to spend his whole life with all of
Speaker 1: these options and think like, how do I get that?
Speaker 1: How do I get that? Did chidel tires? And so?
Speaker 1: Long line of filefo of husband down on back's rangy
Speaker 1: col w Evage. Yeah, you're got your favorite Bernie got
Speaker 1: on the podcast. I've got a good rotation of people. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like you and Parker are probably my two most regular people,
Speaker 1: and it's it's just exciting to see us this podcast grows.
Speaker 1: People get more and more familiar with you and start
Speaker 1: craving you and your advice as we answered these questions. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's awesome. Well, thank you guys. It's a privilege to
Speaker 1: be here. I hope that anything we discussed, anything we
Speaker 1: might say, may help you in some little way. So
Speaker 1: thanks for having me, Griz. Its pleasure always helps me.
Speaker 1: We've been talking for you. Got here an hour and
Speaker 1: four minutes ago. We did an hour. Ante starts the
Speaker 1: camera when I walk in. We've been talking and talking
Speaker 1: and talking deep, deep conversations, and I'm like, man, we
Speaker 1: could have done an entire podcast over this conversation. A
Speaker 1: lot of it, actually is was revolving around the fact
Speaker 1: that I went back on tour last week and started
Speaker 1: a Bible study with the band and crew, open and
Speaker 1: open Bible study to anyone that wanted to attend. And
Speaker 1: it was just just short. It would like open with prayer,
Speaker 1: and then we would read together some scripture and discuss
Speaker 1: the word and and then discuss kind of a little
Speaker 1: concept that I had built about either leadership at home
Speaker 1: or spiritual manhood or tithing your time. Is what we
Speaker 1: did yesterday, and it was. It was interesting and fulfilling
Speaker 1: and frustrating and a test for me in all kinds
Speaker 1: of ways. And then we would close with a prairie
Speaker 1: quest from the band, and in me, I'm just thinking. Man,
Speaker 1: We're sitting in a bus in a bar parking lot
Speaker 1: doing this and it was it was special. And then
Speaker 1: Bernie comes in and just tells me some really good
Speaker 1: advice on how to how to continue to be patient
Speaker 1: and uh in that kind of environment. So I'm if you,
Speaker 1: if anyone's at this podcast trying to hear something or
Speaker 1: learn something, just know that I'm constantly learning as well,
Speaker 1: and constantly trying to evolve and become better. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: all are, man. Yeah, So I'm gonna steal the first
Speaker 1: two questions for you. Okay, first question, who would you
Speaker 1: want to have on this podcast? Present company excluded? Like
Speaker 1: if you could pick, like, man, I would love to
Speaker 1: like get this person in uh and kind of go
Speaker 1: not just like interview them, but like the questions that
Speaker 1: you know, these guys are sending into you. I would
Speaker 1: love to like chop up these questions with this person. Honestly,
Speaker 1: and this is probably gonna be an unpopular answer, but honestly,
Speaker 1: Jordan Peterson I think about that a lot because I've
Speaker 1: tell me to Jordan Peters, Jordan, you're familiar Toard, right,
Speaker 1: Oh you're not? No, okay, Uh, Jordan is a clinical
Speaker 1: psychiatrist from Toronto, Canada, and he has written a lot
Speaker 1: of books, one particularly that became very very popular bestseller
Speaker 1: called Twelve Rules for Life. I started following him. I
Speaker 1: read the book first, and then I started following him
Speaker 1: on different YouTube platforms that he did, and then I
Speaker 1: saw him a couple of times on Joe Rogan. I
Speaker 1: think he's actually done that several times. And he is
Speaker 1: super deep, and he is a very very heavy thinker,
Speaker 1: and he could he's so smart. He could just dissect
Speaker 1: questions and life's problems. He's not a Christian, so I
Speaker 1: could imagine him sitting here in this stool and us
Speaker 1: just going, you know, having these discussions for about an hour.
Speaker 1: And I always have anytime I hear him in a
Speaker 1: podcast or an interview, I wish that they would have
Speaker 1: asked it a different way for him, to challenge him
Speaker 1: a little bit more so. It's like I said, unpopular answer,
Speaker 1: but no, I think that's great. Jordan Peterson, all right,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna check him out. And we've mentioned it made
Speaker 1: him many times on here. Okay, so Jordan, if you're
Speaker 1: watching open Invitation, I get to just sit in the
Speaker 1: corner and listen. Though if you have people like that
Speaker 1: on right, absolutely? Okay, yeah, all right. So second question,
Speaker 1: the pandemic has been terrible in a lot of ways. Right,
Speaker 1: There's been a lot of people lost their jobs, a
Speaker 1: lot of people have died. We recognize that this has
Speaker 1: not been a fun experience for a lot of folks,
Speaker 1: but there have been things through this that have been
Speaker 1: produced that would not have made their way into our lives, habits, people, whatever,
Speaker 1: if the pandemic had not have hit. So my question
Speaker 1: is what is the best thing for you that's come
Speaker 1: out of the pandem in it? Well, first and foremost,
Speaker 1: little baby growing in Amber's belly right now? Would that
Speaker 1: don't would that have happened? I don't know. I know
Speaker 1: you're gonna ask that. I don't know. I don't know
Speaker 1: if if that is a product of the pandemic, probably not,
Speaker 1: But because but I had so much time to dedicate
Speaker 1: to Amber through the process, and you know, we're having
Speaker 1: this baby through IVF, which was a tedious, long, medically
Speaker 1: involved process with many meetings, many appointments, many heartbreaks, and
Speaker 1: if I was on a normal year, normal schedule, it
Speaker 1: would been very difficult to not be there for Amber
Speaker 1: in every step of the process and comfort her through
Speaker 1: like the miscarriage and and the bigger days and some
Speaker 1: of the disappointing news and some of the exciting news.
Speaker 1: There was a time when she was going like every week,
Speaker 1: she would go into a different appointment every week during
Speaker 1: the week during the day, I would have inevitably had
Speaker 1: to miss many of those. So that's been a blessing
Speaker 1: that me and the kids will never forget this time
Speaker 1: that we've had every morning together, Like every morning they
Speaker 1: wake up and I'm in there and they come and
Speaker 1: we have this special time in the afternoons and in
Speaker 1: the morning when they get off school. During the pandemic,
Speaker 1: when they weren't in school there was it was all
Speaker 1: virtual and with them every day, every single day. For
Speaker 1: a traveling dad with a traveling career, that's been a
Speaker 1: special thing. It's also it's taught me so much and
Speaker 1: I'm still learning what it has taught me. For instance,
Speaker 1: I just learned recently this last week when we took
Speaker 1: our first tour. We were gone for six days, played
Speaker 1: four shows, and I learned for the first time ever
Speaker 1: that I debunked a myth that we have to play
Speaker 1: a certain amount of shows in a row. To get
Speaker 1: our chops up, to start sounding good. We went into
Speaker 1: this with no rehearsal. We went in day one and
Speaker 1: we nailed the show, and we were high fiving and
Speaker 1: so excited, and I just thought, Man, I always thought,
Speaker 1: if we book a big festival, so we booked some
Speaker 1: massive festival in Michigan. I always thought that we got
Speaker 1: to book three small dates right in front of it,
Speaker 1: like club dates, to just get our chops up. But
Speaker 1: we went in and what I think happened was the
Speaker 1: crowd was normal for the first time in thirteen months.
Speaker 1: And because the crowd was normally, it was triggering us
Speaker 1: to dig into a memory bank of our mind to
Speaker 1: access a full habit of a show. And so they
Speaker 1: would trigger. The fans would trigger by doing a sing
Speaker 1: along or a cheer and trigger back. And we'd played.
Speaker 1: And we went through these shows and played like twenty eighteen,
Speaker 1: made mistakes like twenty eighteen, made really good moments as
Speaker 1: good as it would have been in twenty eighteen nineteen.
Speaker 1: So there was that one more thing I learned this weekend.
Speaker 1: I also learned through the band and crew. You know,
Speaker 1: when you have a bunch of men traveling like that,
Speaker 1: you inevitably have these men go through ups and downs.
Speaker 1: They go through isolation moments, they go through exciting moments,
Speaker 1: they go through fits of what we do call moments
Speaker 1: of depression. You know, you see guys kind of roaming
Speaker 1: around on a bus and you're you're in a parking lot.
Speaker 1: We have to have these off days to get way
Speaker 1: out to these states we're playing, so we'll be sitting
Speaker 1: in a parking lot all day while the drivers sleep.
Speaker 1: So you have to occupy your mind in some way
Speaker 1: at it, like yesterday where it sat all day in
Speaker 1: Oklahoma City at Bass Pro Shops parking lot. You have
Speaker 1: to occupy your mind. What we noticed was what I
Speaker 1: noticed was that thing that we used to blame on
Speaker 1: a long tour. Now we're looking at this the same
Speaker 1: loneliness and isolation and overcome by boredom and missing home.
Speaker 1: We're seeing those same things from guys that have only
Speaker 1: been gone three days and they're home the whole year
Speaker 1: before that. And so it's like, wait a minute, maybe
Speaker 1: it wasn't we need a break from touring. Maybe it's
Speaker 1: something deeper, right, Yeah, Maybe it's way deeper than just
Speaker 1: we've been gone for too long guys, Right, and that's
Speaker 1: just two things I learned this last week from the pandemic.
Speaker 1: But there's Yeah, I know that's a long way to
Speaker 1: answer your question. But how about you, what could you say? Well,
Speaker 1: the reason I asked you is because somebody asked me,
Speaker 1: and it made me have to stop and think for
Speaker 1: a second. And I think for me, I used to
Speaker 1: wake up at five point thirty right and get into
Speaker 1: my routine. And because I work downtown, I would and
Speaker 1: I didn't want to sit in any traffic. I would
Speaker 1: basically get up, get my workout clothes on, and go
Speaker 1: downtown and then I would either like run town Lake
Speaker 1: and then shout out my office and then I would
Speaker 1: be there, which means that I didn't see my kids
Speaker 1: from basically the night before, you know, until I got
Speaker 1: home from work. And part of the question is kind
Speaker 1: of like, you know, what did you benefit from it?
Speaker 1: That's like continuing and now I've kind of gotten in
Speaker 1: this habit of or you know, reshape my routine to
Speaker 1: where I do everything at home like I do my
Speaker 1: you know, my quiet time, prayer, meditation, journal, exercise, everything
Speaker 1: at the house and then I come and I get
Speaker 1: to spend you know, thirty or forty minutes before the
Speaker 1: kids leave to school, making breakfast, like joking around with them,
Speaker 1: and my wife, you know, said the other day, like
Speaker 1: having you here in the morning has like changed the dynamic,
Speaker 1: and it's like I actually love being there and getting
Speaker 1: to like, you know, my little three year old. I
Speaker 1: just like we leave at the same time, and Leslie
Speaker 1: walks him to school and I just like ride my
Speaker 1: truck along next to him as he rides his little
Speaker 1: strider bike and we yell at each other and yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm a little bit later getting to the office than
Speaker 1: if I went down and I was like, Okay, I'm there,
Speaker 1: But the fifteen to twenty minutes that I give up
Speaker 1: is like, no, man, I'm I'm gonna keep I'm gonna
Speaker 1: keep this. This is a special gift for me, but
Speaker 1: also I think for them and for Leslie just to
Speaker 1: have me get us to be together in the morning.
Speaker 1: So absolutely, man, it's been awesome, I think, and I
Speaker 1: kind of I've said this before, but that's where journaling
Speaker 1: has come in so clutch for me is and I
Speaker 1: use a I know me and you're very differ on journaling.
Speaker 1: You go to a spiral notebook and I do a digital,
Speaker 1: And I started digital three years ago because I didn't
Speaker 1: always know where I was going to be that day,
Speaker 1: and I didn't want to always remember to pack my
Speaker 1: journal wherever I was going because I would forget it.
Speaker 1: And after I tried a journal for a while in
Speaker 1: a notebook, I would be like, I forgot it. Well,
Speaker 1: I guess I'm not journaling today. So I started an
Speaker 1: app called day one. So I started journaling on this app,
Speaker 1: and I started it three years ago. And it's been
Speaker 1: so clutch now because every morning I'll see what happened
Speaker 1: in twenty nineteen and what happened in twenty twenty on
Speaker 1: this day. Oh cool, And those two years are a
Speaker 1: massive contrast for me. This is April, so April twenty
Speaker 1: nineteen and April twenty twenty. In April twenty twenty one,
Speaker 1: I had In April nineteen, River was still around touring.
Speaker 1: Things were looking great. We were living in a completely
Speaker 1: different house. In April twenty twenty, we'd lost River, the
Speaker 1: pandemic had hit. We were living in a new house
Speaker 1: that we had on the market. We're selling, trying to
Speaker 1: close on the land where we are now with a
Speaker 1: lot of unknowns, a lot of fear, a lot of worry,
Speaker 1: and then here I am journaling in April twenty twenty one,
Speaker 1: with the fulfillment of that whole move and real estate
Speaker 1: debacle and getting rid of the house and getting into
Speaker 1: where we are now in the RV and the barn.
Speaker 1: And it's such good therapy to look back on those
Speaker 1: two years and see what mattered, what didn't matter, the
Speaker 1: state of mind I was in the contrast of twenty
Speaker 1: nineteen and twenty twenty, which I think most people could
Speaker 1: probably contrast those two years in a similar way and
Speaker 1: remind myself of gratefulness, what I'm thankful for. What I
Speaker 1: might have thought I was grateful for that really didn't
Speaker 1: really even matter that much. Sure, did you say, did
Speaker 1: you say that You've also started like talking to your
Speaker 1: future self and your interests, like asking questions. Okay, so
Speaker 1: I think I started that in twenty twenty A couple
Speaker 1: of times I would say, people are coming to look
Speaker 1: at the house today, and keep in mind, we're selling
Speaker 1: our house. We were trying to get out because my
Speaker 1: job was unstable, and we were selling in a market
Speaker 1: where like Travis County had shut down all real estate viewings. Oh,
Speaker 1: I was in Williamson County, and they were still doing
Speaker 1: some viewings, but it was like had to sanitize the house,
Speaker 1: have to wear a mask, have to wear gloves when
Speaker 1: you come in. So the viewings were very rare. So
Speaker 1: I was looking at that and just going, hey, future self,
Speaker 1: how does this work? How does this look? You know, like,
Speaker 1: do I end up getting out of this house? Am
Speaker 1: I going to? Because we had we were contingent on
Speaker 1: we had just got this new land and we're contingent
Speaker 1: on building if we sold, And so I'm like asking.
Speaker 1: I started asking my twenty twenty one self. So then
Speaker 1: in twenty twenty one, I started answering myself cool and
Speaker 1: most of the answers are chill out, buddy, Ye're fine,
Speaker 1: You're just fine, It's all gonna be fine. And now
Speaker 1: I started asking my twenty twenty two self questions, you know,
Speaker 1: and not that there's a lot of value in that,
Speaker 1: because your answer is typically going to be one of
Speaker 1: two things. It's going to be it's all gonna be fine,
Speaker 1: or it's going to be hold on to what you
Speaker 1: got and be grateful for what you have right now.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be one of those two answers. You're right.
Speaker 1: It's good man. If you want to answer some questions
Speaker 1: here from other people, even though we could answer each
Speaker 1: other's questions. See here we go again, Bernie is talking.
Speaker 1: So if you want to ask me anything, email Grangersmith
Speaker 1: podcast at gmail dot com. Could be about any subject.
Speaker 1: As this podcast grows, so are your questions, and so
Speaker 1: are the categories of your questions. So there's really no
Speaker 1: limit to what you could ask, and the age limit
Speaker 1: on this podcast, as we've seen, it's kind of limitless.
Speaker 1: I have I have people in elementary school and people
Speaker 1: in nursing homes, all emailing and everything in between. I'm
Speaker 1: going to leave it up to you Burns on some
Speaker 1: of these titles. We have a how do I treat
Speaker 1: how do I treat my wife better? Have new father Advice?
Speaker 1: I have urgent relationship advice. I have what is it
Speaker 1: to Be a Man? I have Life as a Journey.
Speaker 1: I have promotion. Any of those stand out for you.
Speaker 1: We could start with I'm going to go with first one,
Speaker 1: how do I treat my wife better? I'm a little
Speaker 1: scared of this one. Let's get into it. It says
Speaker 1: I had grantres, so my wife and I have been
Speaker 1: married almost three years, been together for seven. We have
Speaker 1: known each other and been friends for eighteen. I have
Speaker 1: a major temper issue. Sometimes it spills out onto my wife.
Speaker 1: How do I change this? I've been to prison three times,
Speaker 1: been to jail twenty times, never for hitting my wife,
Speaker 1: but all drug related. I have one. I am one
Speaker 1: year clean. Now how do I treat her better? I
Speaker 1: get really short with her? Any advice you have would
Speaker 1: be great. Thank you. I'm not going to read the name,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I'm sorry. I'm not laughing or smart or
Speaker 1: smirking or anything at the situation. At I guess the
Speaker 1: title of the question. I was expecting a different situation.
Speaker 1: Expect a little bit more loaded. That's a little bit
Speaker 1: more loaded of a situation than I was expecting. Hey, like,
Speaker 1: we have young kids. I mean putting, you know, thinking
Speaker 1: about myself, Like I'm hoping this guy has an answer
Speaker 1: for the question because it's like, hey, we you know,
Speaker 1: I'm a business owner, I have small kids, and my
Speaker 1: mom and I love each other, but we're just trying to,
Speaker 1: you know, how do we do life and do It's like, okay, bro,
Speaker 1: let's let's talk about this because I feel this this
Speaker 1: is uh I would venture to say, unique situation and
Speaker 1: in another situation where I feel like having the dialogue
Speaker 1: with this guy. Yeah, in person would be it's like, okay,
Speaker 1: the twenty times you've been to jail, have those been
Speaker 1: like recently? Well? He okay, let's say this first. We
Speaker 1: have to say congratulations on one year clean. He says,
Speaker 1: I'm one year clean now and all the all the
Speaker 1: jail time has been drug related now is one year clean.
Speaker 1: So you would think he's on this is this dude's
Speaker 1: on a path now. Yep, that's it's a really good path.
Speaker 1: And so I got to say congratulations on that, and
Speaker 1: that is that is the most valuable thing you could
Speaker 1: have right now, is being clean with yourself. Yep. It's
Speaker 1: more valuable than being nice to your wife, because one
Speaker 1: has to come before the other, right, and being clean
Speaker 1: has to come before you're gonna be you're gonna be
Speaker 1: cool to your wife. I would go journaling first. We
Speaker 1: could because we just mentioned it. I would say, what
Speaker 1: helps me with individual relationships sometimes is making a daily
Speaker 1: challenge for yourself. It has to be, it has to
Speaker 1: be renewed every single morning. It's because look at it
Speaker 1: this way, when you wake up in the morning. You've
Speaker 1: got a clean slate for the day. You have no
Speaker 1: offenses yet you have you have not been harsh with her.
Speaker 1: When the sun comes up, you open your eyes, you
Speaker 1: start a new day. So I would do a quick
Speaker 1: journal to yourself. This might not even sounds silly, but
Speaker 1: your your question said, any advice would be great. So
Speaker 1: here you go. Just say, it's uh, it's Monday. I
Speaker 1: I'm going to I'm going to start clean today with
Speaker 1: my wife, just like you you went clean with the drugs.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna start today and I'm not going to be
Speaker 1: harsh with her at all, and then go through the
Speaker 1: day and then the next morning reevaluate how you did yesterday.
Speaker 1: So yesterday I did pretty good until like three o'clock
Speaker 1: and then she was saying something and I kind of
Speaker 1: snapped at her. And recognize that and catch catch yourself
Speaker 1: and label it and give yourself a time that three
Speaker 1: fifteen I did this. And so today on Tuesday, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna start clean again, and I'm gonna see if I
Speaker 1: can get all the way through the day. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: get all the way to sundown without being harsh with her.
Speaker 1: What'd you got burns? Did he say there hasn't been
Speaker 1: any abuse? Or yes, oh he said never? Where did
Speaker 1: you say that? Never for hitting her? Never for hitting her? Okay,
Speaker 1: So man, there's just there's so much here one. Your wife,
Speaker 1: maybe she's listening to I think that there has to
Speaker 1: be just kind of some respect and kind of shout
Speaker 1: out to her for sticking with this guy through what's
Speaker 1: been a pretty wild up and down journey, and that
Speaker 1: she if she's listening, and husband, you need to go
Speaker 1: and tell her if you haven't, that you have not
Speaker 1: deserved any of that, because abuse can be you know,
Speaker 1: not just physical, but verbal in the way that you
Speaker 1: you know, have talked to her and yelled at her,
Speaker 1: or what you say, you lose your temper, the way
Speaker 1: you've treated her. There's been some hurt and pains done there.
Speaker 1: I think that there's a mindset and maybe what you're
Speaker 1: saying is like the these are kind of practical things
Speaker 1: that can help shift the mindset. But I don't know
Speaker 1: if you're a Christian, if you read the Bible, if
Speaker 1: you know where you at or where where you are
Speaker 1: on the faith spectrum, but the way that you view
Speaker 1: your wife and and that kind of mindset may need
Speaker 1: to be something that shifts and viewing her as more
Speaker 1: important than yourself and someone that you are called to
Speaker 1: lay down your life for and to give yourself up
Speaker 1: for in all things. Right, we've heard that line before.
Speaker 1: Peter says to love your wife as if that's your
Speaker 1: own flesh. Right, what does that mean to you? Right? Yeah,
Speaker 1: so there could still be some just neurological habits that
Speaker 1: are kind of like kicking in that great point. Yeah,
Speaker 1: hopefully you are. You have support, you have sponsors, you
Speaker 1: have help, you have a friend. Honestly, community can do
Speaker 1: a lot for your relationship. Get a band of brothers
Speaker 1: that can hold you accountable, that can encourage you, that
Speaker 1: you can talk about like really deep stuff with and
Speaker 1: be vulnerable with. And because guys, I know the culture
Speaker 1: tells us the opposite, but that is where your strength
Speaker 1: is shown, and that's where your strength is renewed, is
Speaker 1: when you find a band of brothers that you can
Speaker 1: be vulnerable with and they come to the table and say, hey, man,
Speaker 1: this is a place that you can let down your
Speaker 1: guard and you're going to show us that you have
Speaker 1: courage and that you're you're strong by the amount you're
Speaker 1: willing to share with us, and I guarantee you if
Speaker 1: you can find, you know, some people like that at
Speaker 1: a community like that, they're going to help in a
Speaker 1: tremendous way. Kind of give you some support. Dude. Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's go back to the the habit issue Bernie too,
Speaker 1: because everything you're saying is awesome, and I want to
Speaker 1: say that I kind of consider myself a recovering temper
Speaker 1: issue at it. You know, I kind of consider myself
Speaker 1: to be a mildly recovered per that could fly off
Speaker 1: the handle. I could fly off the handle on road rage.
Speaker 1: I could try to prove someone that they're driving's bad
Speaker 1: by going ninety miles an hour and cutting them off.
Speaker 1: Like I was that guy. I was the guy that
Speaker 1: got in a lot of of bar fights. Maybe fights
Speaker 1: is to say a lot is rough, but maybe bar
Speaker 1: disputes where it got physical as we were trying to
Speaker 1: get paid at the end of the night from a
Speaker 1: bar owner or dealing with someone in the parking lot
Speaker 1: outside of our van, and I went off the handle
Speaker 1: a lot and it got so bad for me that
Speaker 1: I had to I had to start identifying what Bernie
Speaker 1: said that what was triggering that, Because there's always a trigger,
Speaker 1: and so I started here we go, riding down, I
Speaker 1: started writing down my triggers. Number one for me, number
Speaker 1: one was always sleep, and especially let's take alcohol and drugs.
Speaker 1: Let's take all that out, because you got to that
Speaker 1: has to stop. That has a stop anyway if you're
Speaker 1: dealing with this kind of issue. But other than that,
Speaker 1: sleep was always a big deal. So I would think,
Speaker 1: if I if I drove all night in the van,
Speaker 1: or if I had an early flight or whatever was
Speaker 1: going on in my life, if I didn't get much sleep,
Speaker 1: I'm on a short fuse today, And so I would
Speaker 1: recognize that you're on a short fuse. And when you
Speaker 1: recognize that you're on a short fuse, it makes it
Speaker 1: so much easier just to say it's not her that's
Speaker 1: causing this, this is because I'm hearing it through the
Speaker 1: lens of a short fuse. Just don't talk, don't don't really,
Speaker 1: don't say anything else. Let her win. Let her win.
Speaker 1: I heard someone say one time that in an argument,
Speaker 1: you to win. An argument is a lose for everyone
Speaker 1: because the only thing you get out of that is
Speaker 1: you get to be right, but she gets to be wrong,
Speaker 1: and that's worse. You then you losing the argument. That's
Speaker 1: worse because now she's wrong and there's a resentment there.
Speaker 1: So it's so much better just to say you know what,
Speaker 1: you're right and just let it pass. Because when you
Speaker 1: tell her she's right and she gets to feel right, awesome,
Speaker 1: and then deep down it doesn't really matter to you.
Speaker 1: Just let her have it and you being nice to
Speaker 1: her comes after you deal with the temper issue. That
Speaker 1: has a start. Dealing with the temper, is you comes
Speaker 1: before you treating your wife better? Right? No? Absolutely? Absolutely? Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think like you're saying, is this is a heart
Speaker 1: issue first and just a bookend this like Proverbs four
Speaker 1: thirty two, above all else. So when that starts with
Speaker 1: above all else, and you think about everything in Proverbs,
Speaker 1: like that's pretty heavy. Above all else. Guard your heart
Speaker 1: for everything you do flows from it. So consider start
Speaker 1: to just consider the current state of your heart towards
Speaker 1: your wife, towards your life, towards God, towards your friends,
Speaker 1: and then try to think of ways that you can
Speaker 1: guard it from all of the different things that are
Speaker 1: trying to change it in a way that makes it
Speaker 1: you fly off the handle towards people you you know,
Speaker 1: treat your wife this certain way, like really just guarding
Speaker 1: your heart as much as you possibly can and really
Speaker 1: giving your heart things that are life giving. I don't know, man,
Speaker 1: it's a tough situation. I'm glad to hear that you've it.
Speaker 1: Sounds like you've turned a corner. Be encouraged, stick with it,
Speaker 1: find community, guard your heart, and yeah, man, email us
Speaker 1: back in and let us know because you know, when
Speaker 1: does this come in, like Sunday, Give us time, see
Speaker 1: how things go. But we're gonna keep us, keep us
Speaker 1: up today, keep us up to day. We're gonna take
Speaker 1: a break, be right back. Podcast is brought to you
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Speaker 1: All right, Burns, let's get another one. Here is if
Speaker 1: you If you guys have an email or have a question,
Speaker 1: email it to Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. We
Speaker 1: have new Father Advice Urgent relationship advice, and it says
Speaker 1: for you what does it mean to be a man?
Speaker 1: Let's go new father, new father because I man. Before
Speaker 1: I came up here, I was actually just thinking about
Speaker 1: now having three kids, and people that are about to
Speaker 1: have kids, like I had some thoughts about that, so
Speaker 1: many crisis for them, says Hey Granger. My name is Dakota.
Speaker 1: I'm from Winfield, Kansas. I've been watching your videos, listening
Speaker 1: to your music and podcasts for a little bit. I've
Speaker 1: really enjoyed watching and listening to you and your families
Speaker 1: videos music could podcast. Thank you, buddy. My wife and
Speaker 1: I just got married in November, and I just turned
Speaker 1: twenty one in February and my wife will be twenty
Speaker 1: in June. We have a little girl coming in June.
Speaker 1: Do you have any advice for being a dad to
Speaker 1: a girl? How do I make sure I lead her
Speaker 1: in the path of the Lord and to have strong faith.
Speaker 1: I'm just super nervous about not knowing how to do
Speaker 1: something right or messing something a lot, messing something up
Speaker 1: because I'm just so young. Also, my in laws aren't
Speaker 1: big fans of me, and they don't see me much,
Speaker 1: and I'm trying to have a good relationship with them,
Speaker 1: and it's hard to do my best to provide for
Speaker 1: the family. Do you have any advice for that situation
Speaker 1: as well? So that's kind of two questions here. Thanks
Speaker 1: for taking the time to read my email. God bless
Speaker 1: you and your family, Sincerely, Dakota. So two questions. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the second one is pretty easy. You love their daughter
Speaker 1: and you love their granddaughter in a way that they
Speaker 1: see the joy in life in their child and their grandchild.
Speaker 1: You're gonna win them over, no doubt. Yeah, he says,
Speaker 1: they don't see how much I'm trying to have a
Speaker 1: good relationship with them, or how hard I'm trying to
Speaker 1: do my best to provide for my family. So what
Speaker 1: Bernie's saying is they will by your actions. Yep, give
Speaker 1: it some time. They're seeing the joy that your wife
Speaker 1: has in life, and that she feels loved and cared
Speaker 1: for and safe, and sometimes that it takes a little
Speaker 1: more time. But if you're diligent in that, and that's
Speaker 1: why you wake up, man, I am going to love
Speaker 1: this woman. I'm going to love this little girl. I'm
Speaker 1: going to give myself up for them and everything. I
Speaker 1: think you're gonna win them over. So just give it time.
Speaker 1: I want to speak also to the question within the question,
Speaker 1: when you said I'm super nervous about messing this up
Speaker 1: because I'm so young, So I want to knock that
Speaker 1: out too and just say that's not an issue. You're
Speaker 1: twenty one. There have been many fathers that have come
Speaker 1: before you on planet Earth that have been twenty one
Speaker 1: years old and done just fine. You're perfectly capable inside
Speaker 1: your being to raise this little girl and to support
Speaker 1: this family at your age and your wife's age. In fact,
Speaker 1: almost all of our grandparents and great grandparents and grand
Speaker 1: they were all that age. It's just a modern thing
Speaker 1: that people are waiting till they're a little bit later.
Speaker 1: So erase that from the question. You're fine, yep, right.
Speaker 1: And you mentioned like raising her in the way of
Speaker 1: the Lord and you know, pointing her, you know, towards God.
Speaker 1: So it sounds like you have, you know, God's word
Speaker 1: as a guide, and so keep digging into that and
Speaker 1: just devour it and wrestle with it and ponder it
Speaker 1: and write about it and challenge it and stretch it
Speaker 1: and everything, and it's gonna point you in the right
Speaker 1: direction for sure. So my thought on this what came
Speaker 1: to mind that if this came up for whatever reason,
Speaker 1: I was like, man, I feel like I need to
Speaker 1: share this. I don't know how to communicate to like
Speaker 1: treat this first kid like it's your third or fourth kid,
Speaker 1: because the way that I treat Jet, I wish that
Speaker 1: I would have, like had the whereabouts to treat Boston
Speaker 1: that way, because I feel like there's this certain amount
Speaker 1: of pressure and attention and protection and the first kid
Speaker 1: kind of gets you know, and as a first time parent,
Speaker 1: the only thing that you want to do is not
Speaker 1: screw this up. You're right, and like you want to
Speaker 1: point them to the Lord. You want to you know,
Speaker 1: it's it's your first go with this. You want the
Speaker 1: parents to look at you and say like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: he's you know, he's care for him. But I think
Speaker 1: if there's just if you can have more or let
Speaker 1: me say it this way. I wish that with my
Speaker 1: first two I would have had more of a sense of, hey,
Speaker 1: everything's going to be okay. Like the things that you
Speaker 1: think are a big deal, I'm seeing with Jet it's
Speaker 1: like it's not that big a deal, right, just it's
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, if Boston would have spilled, first of all,
Speaker 1: Boston would have never been able to have an ice
Speaker 1: cream shake in my truck. Dude, you don't eat food
Speaker 1: in my truck. Jet is like standing up, like you know,
Speaker 1: just like spilling it everywhere. And I'm not losing my pati.
Speaker 1: It's a difference in siblings, man, And I'm like, that's
Speaker 1: why there's you could always tell the difference in Oh
Speaker 1: you're the middle child, aren't you You're the youngest, aren't
Speaker 1: you you must be the oldest. It reflects the rest
Speaker 1: of your life, how that happened. Yep, so that would
Speaker 1: be that's my experience. That's what I would say, is like,
Speaker 1: just try to not just you know, I don't know,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Totally, man, totally. I would
Speaker 1: say this is I don't think I ever say anything
Speaker 1: like this, but raise your expectations of yourself as a
Speaker 1: father and lower your expectations of your little girl's reaction
Speaker 1: and love for you. You know, that's perfect because you're
Speaker 1: going to come in and expect her to just You're like, Dad,
Speaker 1: you're gonna love you. And then she's like, doesn't even
Speaker 1: look at you, and you're like, man, I don't know
Speaker 1: if I feel that just didn't feel right. You know,
Speaker 1: I thought it was gonna be so much more than this,
Speaker 1: and it is. You got to give it time. It
Speaker 1: is like my little girl is you know, it seems
Speaker 1: like yesterday when we were having this discussion with her
Speaker 1: and she was a baby, and now she's nine, and
Speaker 1: I honestly feel like she just now started loving me
Speaker 1: a lot. She always loved me, daddy, she always loved daddy,
Speaker 1: but now she loves me. She craves my attention, she
Speaker 1: craves the time, She wants to hold onto my neck
Speaker 1: longer and squeeze me tighter, and she wants to tell
Speaker 1: stories later into the night, and she wants to get
Speaker 1: up earlier to see me. That's not what she did
Speaker 1: when she was four, right, you know. I was almost
Speaker 1: an annoyance to her when she was three and four
Speaker 1: years old as a little girl. Boys are different. Boys
Speaker 1: were different, But there is a difference when raising girls
Speaker 1: and boys and girls. Girls need to be listened to
Speaker 1: a lot, and they need to be felt, and they
Speaker 1: need to be heard their their emotions need to be
Speaker 1: heard and their feelings need to be acknowledged a lot,
Speaker 1: and boys don't. Boys are, especially young boys, with a
Speaker 1: lot more surface level emotions. They get over things quick.
Speaker 1: Injuries don't last as long. Their feelings don't stay hurt
Speaker 1: very long at all. If if longer than ten seconds,
Speaker 1: it's weird. London's feelings could stay hurt the whole day,
Speaker 1: you know, and then she'll get over it and then
Speaker 1: go back into it. We had that with Stella. Happened yesterday.
Speaker 1: It was like the feelings got hurt, something happened. She's like, okay,
Speaker 1: and then like an hour later she went back in.
Speaker 1: She was like, but this and then she thought about
Speaker 1: it again, thought about it again. It was the whole thing. No,
Speaker 1: that wouldn't happen with Boston or Jet Yeah, no way,
Speaker 1: no way. Yeah, they'd be cool, it'd be over and
Speaker 1: neither way. I'm not advocating either one is good or bad. Dif'
Speaker 1: that's how it is. So we've gone through these kind
Speaker 1: of questions before, similar questions, and it's just, dude, you're
Speaker 1: asking all the right questions and you're coming from the
Speaker 1: right place. How do I lead her in the path
Speaker 1: with the Lord? Have strong faith? Well, you get down
Speaker 1: on your knees and you say that. Yeah, people, I've
Speaker 1: heard it said before that vote. Bacham said, you people
Speaker 1: are so they pray so much for their kid to
Speaker 1: go to the right school, or to get the right grade,
Speaker 1: or to get on the right baseball team, or to
Speaker 1: make the dancer sidle, and they never do that about
Speaker 1: their faith or salvation or loving the Lord. Yeah. So
Speaker 1: it's like, God, please help this this little girl get
Speaker 1: a good grade on her math test because if she does,
Speaker 1: she'll get to go into this next school and she
Speaker 1: really needs she really wants it, so please God. But
Speaker 1: how many times do we pray about her faith or
Speaker 1: her salvation or yeah, that's I think the answer here
Speaker 1: is the same answer for both of these questions. And
Speaker 1: that's what you're saying. Like the way that you, you know,
Speaker 1: lead this little girl and raise her in the way
Speaker 1: of the Lord, how do you win the parents over?
Speaker 1: It's it's just through your consistent, faithful love and affection
Speaker 1: and showing up. You just got to show a lot
Speaker 1: of times. It's just showing up and continuing to love her,
Speaker 1: continuing to love her, continuing to love her, patience. All
Speaker 1: all of these things I think win over the the
Speaker 1: in laws. And also, you know, your little girl is
Speaker 1: just gonna feel loved and confident and safe, you know
Speaker 1: when she grows up. And that's definitely in this world
Speaker 1: what we want our daughters to have is good. Is
Speaker 1: that kind of confidence. You're going to show her how
Speaker 1: to walk in the path of the Lord by how
Speaker 1: you lead her there. She's going to watch you. She's
Speaker 1: going to watch you get it up early, and she's
Speaker 1: going to come and she's when she wakes up from
Speaker 1: her and walks in there and you're reading the Bible,
Speaker 1: she's going to remember that that's what Daddy did in
Speaker 1: the morning. And when you say your prayers with her
Speaker 1: at night and at meals and during the day. We
Speaker 1: get together as a family now and it's a new
Speaker 1: thing for us, and we'll pray before school. So it's like, okay,
Speaker 1: they're about to you know, about to go to school,
Speaker 1: and we all get in a circle and we pray
Speaker 1: for the day, and we see if the kids have
Speaker 1: anything that's coming up that they're worried about or anxious about,
Speaker 1: or anything going on, and we'll pray for that. And
Speaker 1: we do that for all kinds of reasons, but one
Speaker 1: of the reasons is so that they know that, as
Speaker 1: you say here, Dakota, walking in the path of the
Speaker 1: Lord is the number one priority. They're going to see
Speaker 1: that through mom and Dad leading them that way. It's
Speaker 1: not like a special teaching that you could do. It's
Speaker 1: a it's something you model for them a man. Good
Speaker 1: luck to you, buddy, Dakota. Good luck man. Thanks of
Speaker 1: the question got urgent relationship advice? What is it to
Speaker 1: be a man? Podcast? Question? Kind of random what another
Speaker 1: one says question and then Hay Grangeer, I need some advice,
Speaker 1: And then life is a journey. Let's go life as
Speaker 1: a journey, all right, because we Yeah, I didn't think
Speaker 1: you're gonna go there, It says Hay grangew. My name
Speaker 1: is Ernie from Wisconsin. Shout out to Wisconsin, Wisconsin. I've
Speaker 1: seen you many times in the past. I grew up
Speaker 1: in the country, and I've had a very privileged life
Speaker 1: that I get to eat and sleep and breathe big bucks,
Speaker 1: shooting ducks and jacked up Cummings trucks. Over the years,
Speaker 1: I've developed a quite serious alcohol and substance abuse problem.
Speaker 1: I started out with no mental health issues, but over
Speaker 1: the years of very traumatic events and losing my girlfriends
Speaker 1: and fiance and ninety percent of the people that I've
Speaker 1: ever cared about, along with most of my friends. Sorry
Speaker 1: this once again, I made that reaction just because it's
Speaker 1: says not to mention the legal issues, multiple DUI, financial issues, homelessness, bankruptcy,
Speaker 1: the list goes on and on and on. I gave
Speaker 1: it full year of sobriety, and I'm dealing with years
Speaker 1: of consequences. I just don't have the energy or mental
Speaker 1: stability to keep fighting and to keep hustling every day
Speaker 1: with the severe depression among other issues. This is not
Speaker 1: how I thought this email was going to go. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I just don't have the motivation and drive anymore to
Speaker 1: go and make a good life happen. I guess my
Speaker 1: question is I'm so stuck. I cannot find the motivation
Speaker 1: to put on my boots every day. What shouldn't do
Speaker 1: to try to move forward? Based on your previous being
Speaker 1: Stuck podcast, this this email went so so different from
Speaker 1: already out saying I have a very privileged life. Thanks
Speaker 1: so much, Ernie. Well, he's got a perspective that's I
Speaker 1: guess positive if he feels like his life has been privileged.
Speaker 1: Where to start with, Ernie, It's a lot of stuff. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm struggling with the same question, Bernie. Where to start
Speaker 1: because this is one of his question is really how
Speaker 1: to forward? How do we have motivation? This Stuck podcast
Speaker 1: he's talking about were you on that was that park?
Speaker 1: Thank you? I don't think it was me, but I
Speaker 1: remember seeing it, so I don't. He hasn't alluded again. Man,
Speaker 1: we need like a studio audience, when need these people
Speaker 1: in a chair where we can just ask them so stuff.
Speaker 1: Let's go. Let's start with kind of what we did
Speaker 1: a few questions ago, where we say congratulations on the sobriety. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that is you have recognized that that was causing an
Speaker 1: issue and you have dealt with that. And I could, dude,
Speaker 1: I could, I could sympathize with I just don't have
Speaker 1: the energy or mental stability to keep fighting and hustling
Speaker 1: every day with the severe depression. And so let me
Speaker 1: say this, and I've heard John Piper say this, there
Speaker 1: is there is no shame in understanding that there is.
Speaker 1: There is a many forms of depression that just are
Speaker 1: going to require medication. And so I would say, Ernie,
Speaker 1: I would recommend visiting a doctor about this. Yeah, absolutely,
Speaker 1: because the worst the doctor could say is no, you're
Speaker 1: You're fine. I don't think that's going to happen there,
Speaker 1: But there is. There is. There is mental injuries that
Speaker 1: happen to people that are unseen by the eye and
Speaker 1: hard to understand. But PTSD is a real thing that
Speaker 1: causes real damage, and we see it with soldiers and
Speaker 1: law enforcement officers all the time. But it also happens
Speaker 1: to civilians and that requires a level of professional medical
Speaker 1: help that probably could lead to some kind of light
Speaker 1: form of medication to help that. I'm speaking way out
Speaker 1: of terms here because I'm not I'm not qualified to
Speaker 1: speak on this realm of medication at all. I'm just
Speaker 1: qualified to speak about help the country boys problem, speak
Speaker 1: about any of this stuff, just to be therapist psychologists.
Speaker 1: So yeah, arey, I'd start there, man, I would set
Speaker 1: up an appointment and I would go and dump this
Speaker 1: on a a licensed medical professional and being very careful
Speaker 1: with dealing with any kind of medications because you've had
Speaker 1: substance abuse in the past, so that has to be
Speaker 1: a part of the conversation with the doctor. You don't
Speaker 1: want to make this worse. It could always get worse.
Speaker 1: That's a scary thing life. However bad it might seem,
Speaker 1: you could keep making it worse. So you want to
Speaker 1: stop the digging right now. Stop stop digging the hole
Speaker 1: that you're in, and you want to start bringing dirt
Speaker 1: back into the hole that you've already dug. So don't
Speaker 1: don't make another substance abuse problem happen with some kind
Speaker 1: of medication. So with that kind of alarm going on,
Speaker 1: go visit a doctor. Yeah, we'll start there. Absolutely. So
Speaker 1: there's a book that I'm reading right now, just reference
Speaker 1: really quick, The Coddling of the American Mind. You read it,
Speaker 1: heard of it. Okay, the only thing I'm gonna reference
Speaker 1: is CBT, which they talk about is cognitive behavioral therapy,
Speaker 1: and that could be something else to look into and research.
Speaker 1: It's an alternative to medicine. Research is showing that it
Speaker 1: is more effective and healthier option. Not just the healthier Oh,
Speaker 1: this is the organic way to like you know, No,
Speaker 1: it's showing that it's more effective. So research it again.
Speaker 1: Like I'm just reading this book and starting to understand
Speaker 1: some of this stuff, but that is just jumping out
Speaker 1: to me so and not just what's this cat's name,
Speaker 1: or we're not saying this Ernie, Ernie. That's right. This
Speaker 1: is not just for him. This is for you know,
Speaker 1: any body out there that is wrestling with some of
Speaker 1: these things. Maybe you're in a similar situation. But I'm
Speaker 1: always going to go back to two things. I always
Speaker 1: try to go back to two things, God's Word and community. Okay,
Speaker 1: you have got to like start with God's Word and
Speaker 1: what it says. If you're looking for a motivation to
Speaker 1: move forward, you need a purpose in your life. And
Speaker 1: I'm going to encourage you to search God's word, wrestle
Speaker 1: with it, and find your purpose that can give you
Speaker 1: the motivation to get out of bed each day. The
Speaker 1: second thing is community. We can't do that alone because
Speaker 1: left to ourselves, we will choose ourselves every single time.
Speaker 1: Send this podcast, Ernie to one of your friends or
Speaker 1: to somebody, and maybe this can be the thing that
Speaker 1: starts to hey Granger Smith podcast, like read my question,
Speaker 1: and by doing that, you're showing the vulnerability to one
Speaker 1: of your friends, and maybe they like say, hey, I'd
Speaker 1: like to you know, let's let's keep talking about this stuff.
Speaker 1: I'd love to support you. And then all of a
Speaker 1: sudden there's somebody else that can come in and you
Speaker 1: kind of all of a sudden have this community of
Speaker 1: support that's going to coincide with, you know, professional help.
Speaker 1: Like Granger said, but I think you got you gotta
Speaker 1: have I mean totally right, you know, correct me if
Speaker 1: I'm wrong, But like for any of these things, that's
Speaker 1: so right. I've got to have community. You gotta have
Speaker 1: God's words. So here's what I would say to to
Speaker 1: lead directly where Bernie's going with this, Wherever you are
Speaker 1: in Wisconsin, whatever town you're in. Encourage you to find
Speaker 1: a church, which is not it's not easy. It's not
Speaker 1: as easy maybe as it even used to be. And
Speaker 1: the reason I know this is because I just went
Speaker 1: to church in Soux Falls, South Dakota, and it's like,
Speaker 1: you look at that, you look at a town, what
Speaker 1: do you do? Pull up Google, Google Maps and google church.
Speaker 1: I mean, what do you? What do you do? So
Speaker 1: it took a little bit of research, and I had
Speaker 1: to know what I was looking for in the mission
Speaker 1: statement so you could tell. And I looked at several
Speaker 1: and I looked at their mission statement, and you could
Speaker 1: tell quickly what they're about. Are you about prosperity and
Speaker 1: getting rich quick? Are you about preaching Jesus right the
Speaker 1: way that the Gospel was intended? So you look for
Speaker 1: those kind of words, that kind of wording to find
Speaker 1: that church. There's one around you in Wisconsin. I guarantee you.
Speaker 1: You walk through those doors. Seven days a week. You
Speaker 1: walk that door and you go, hey, guys, I'm Ernie.
Speaker 1: Can I talk to somebody around here? I'm just looking
Speaker 1: to be a part of something. And the reason I
Speaker 1: could speak so well to this earn is because I
Speaker 1: just did this two days ago in Sioux Falls, and
Speaker 1: I went in, didn't know a single person there, and
Speaker 1: I actually emailed them before I came and I said, Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm in a traveling band. We're playing and looking for
Speaker 1: a place to come and for worship on Sunday morning.
Speaker 1: And it took them a couple of days, but they
Speaker 1: emailed back and said, great, come meet us at the
Speaker 1: hospitality desk. I would love to say hi. I went
Speaker 1: in it. They couldn't have been nicer. They gave me
Speaker 1: a little gift bag had a coffee mug and a
Speaker 1: journal and a pen and a little booklet. They were
Speaker 1: super nice and man, I went in there and I
Speaker 1: left there with friends, good friends. Actually eight of them
Speaker 1: came to the show that night. I didn't know a
Speaker 1: single person there, but they were great people. It was
Speaker 1: a great community, very uplifting crowd. They came to my show,
Speaker 1: We hung out most of the day. Now have there
Speaker 1: on a text basis with these people. And this just
Speaker 1: happened to me two days ago. This can happen to
Speaker 1: you today, Ernie. As soon as you hear this podcast.
Speaker 1: There's one around you, and I know that feeling stuck,
Speaker 1: feels like no one is there, no one cares, but
Speaker 1: they do, they do, and there's people here in your
Speaker 1: town that can help you, And sometimes that means also
Speaker 1: everything Bernie said about community also means sometimes you have
Speaker 1: to drop some of the duds in your life. Yep,
Speaker 1: there might be a you might think you have community,
Speaker 1: but so far that doesn't look like it's leading you
Speaker 1: on a good path. So you might have to drop
Speaker 1: some of these dudes, and you might have to start over.
Speaker 1: You might have to quit the job you're on. It
Speaker 1: doesn't say that where you are working. But maybe that
Speaker 1: church thing also says do you have anyone doing your
Speaker 1: mowing your grass? You know? Could I help around here somewhere?
Speaker 1: There's all kinds of opportunities that come. So Ernie, you
Speaker 1: have a you have a little checklist here that I
Speaker 1: think is so important, visiting a doctor and then finding
Speaker 1: this church there you go all right? Easy? Is that? Yeah?
Speaker 1: See what just solved all your props? Man? I feel
Speaker 1: for you, brother, that's a that's a heartfelt email, and
Speaker 1: thank you for thank you for asking it. I meant
Speaker 1: I meant to go in here and get some lighter questions.
Speaker 1: How much time we got a few minutes? Okay, I
Speaker 1: meant I'm meant to grab some lighter ones, and here
Speaker 1: we are creating this podcast. Here's one right here. Hey Gerr,
Speaker 1: my name is Joe. I'm twelve. I'm from Oregon. I
Speaker 1: love your music, Joe. I'm sorry. Why has Joe got
Speaker 1: an email address? I thought you ha'd be thirteen. That
Speaker 1: makes me scared about the kids? Is that true? I
Speaker 1: thought it was this internet thing. Guys, it's a good thing.
Speaker 1: But it's Gmail. Watch out, it's Gmail. He signed up
Speaker 1: on Gmail? Did he lie about that? I thought it
Speaker 1: was thirteen. Maybe the world's changing. Go ahead. You don't
Speaker 1: have to be an age to get a Gmail. I
Speaker 1: don't think it could be anything. Okay, Yeah, sorry, I said,
Speaker 1: I'm from Oregon. I love your music. Just turt watching
Speaker 1: the Smith? How could I be successful like you? Love? God?
Speaker 1: Have my dream home in the middle of I want
Speaker 1: to live in Texas too. I think I think I
Speaker 1: know the answer to all this. But how do you
Speaker 1: like it there? I'd love a shout out America eee
Speaker 1: signed red Neck Joe. That's a good red Neck Joe. Well,
Speaker 1: he's asking you, how do we how do we have
Speaker 1: it all? Smith? Well, don't don't. Don't pick up and
Speaker 1: leave Oregon because Oregon is an awesome place, man. Texas
Speaker 1: is great. I love it. It's home. Oregon is your home.
Speaker 1: And Oregon is an amazing state, one of the most
Speaker 1: beautiful states in the nation. Incredible mountains and forest and
Speaker 1: wildlife and ocean and shots. Orgon's incredible. So the grass
Speaker 1: is always greener, right, Maybe that's one of the main
Speaker 1: themes here. Grass is always greener. Oh, man, I see
Speaker 1: the Smith's I see you're in Texas. It looks awesome
Speaker 1: in Texas. And I spin around tomorrow and I see
Speaker 1: somebody vlogging in Oregon and I'm like, so green there
Speaker 1: and wildling mountains, and we don't have that in Texas
Speaker 1: when it's not always green in mountains. So grass is
Speaker 1: always green on the other side. And it's even more
Speaker 1: great in Oregon than than it is in Texas. Right, Bernie,
Speaker 1: we've said this before. When you're twelve, man, B twelve,
Speaker 1: B twelve, is that a vitamin B twelve? Enjoy being
Speaker 1: twelve man, Joe. Don't don't get too caught up in
Speaker 1: success your dream home. Don't even think about a dream home, man.
Speaker 1: That is dude, do you think that there's some way
Speaker 1: And I'm going to try not to take us just
Speaker 1: like into the deep woods of Oregon. Right now. But
Speaker 1: like that this age that we live in, because when
Speaker 1: I was twelve, I was not exposed to the amount
Speaker 1: of options of what my life could be like that
Speaker 1: has been exposed to just because because of the era
Speaker 1: that we live in. It's a good point. And because
Speaker 1: of that, like this generation, starting with millennials gen Z,
Speaker 1: the amount of anxiety, depression, suicide has gone up. Do
Speaker 1: you think that there's correlation of like a twelve year
Speaker 1: old asking us, how do I get all of this
Speaker 1: stuff that I've seen? I didn't think about that. I
Speaker 1: didn't think about that. But he's so he's going to
Speaker 1: spend his whole life with all of these options and
Speaker 1: think like how do I get that? How do I
Speaker 1: get that? And I'm just I'm pulling it back to
Speaker 1: like the sermon at our church on Sunday where the
Speaker 1: pastor talked about God creating Adam and Eve. There was
Speaker 1: no options. That was it. That covenant was like, Hey,
Speaker 1: this is it. But now it's like we look around
Speaker 1: and we're like, we gotta see of options. They say
Speaker 1: in the candy store. Well, our candy store nowadays is huge.
Speaker 1: It's endless aisles of candy, and where do you even start,
Speaker 1: it's like going into Walmart. Nothing but candies and Walmart,
Speaker 1: where do you go? And that's that's what Maybe that's
Speaker 1: what Joe sees. Maybe that's what the internet is and
Speaker 1: when reality me and you look at it and go, dude,
Speaker 1: Oregan is an awesome place to live. Yeah, so Joe,
Speaker 1: here's what Redneck Joe. And this is a maybe we'll
Speaker 1: just end like this, like just be present. Yes, your
Speaker 1: entire life, whatever life gives you, have gratitude and be
Speaker 1: in the present moment. Just give yourself to the people
Speaker 1: and the things that are in front of you. Love
Speaker 1: it and don't look around. Don't look around. Just keep
Speaker 1: your head right here. So good with the people you got,
Speaker 1: love your Redneck Joe. Yeah, you're coming to the next
Speaker 1: ye day with the parents, but bring in. We'll see
Speaker 1: you guys. That's it. We got bye y'all. Thanks for
Speaker 1: joining me on the Granger Smith podcast. I appreciate all
Speaker 1: of you guys. You could help me out by rating
Speaker 1: this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to
Speaker 1: this channel. Hit that little like button and the notification
Speaker 1: spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video.
Speaker 1: If you have a question for me, that you would
Speaker 1: like me to answer. Email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com,
Speaker 1: Yigi