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Speaker 1: When I was twelve, I was not exposed to the

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Speaker 1: amount of options of what my life could be like

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Speaker 1: that Joe has been exposed to just because because of

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Speaker 1: the era that we live in. It's a good point

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Speaker 1: and because of that, like this generation, starting the millennials

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Speaker 1: gen Z, the amount of anxiety, depression, suicide has gone up.

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Speaker 1: Do you think that there's correlation of like a twelve

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Speaker 1: year old asking us, how do I get all of

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Speaker 1: this stuff that I've seen? I didn't think about that.

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Speaker 1: I didn't think about that. But he's all available. So

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Speaker 1: he's going to spend his whole life with all of

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Speaker 1: these options and think like, how do I get that?

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Speaker 1: How do I get that? Did chidel tires? And so?

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Speaker 1: Long line of filefo of husband down on back's rangy

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Speaker 1: col w Evage. Yeah, you're got your favorite Bernie got

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Speaker 1: on the podcast. I've got a good rotation of people. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like you and Parker are probably my two most regular people,

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Speaker 1: and it's it's just exciting to see us this podcast grows.

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Speaker 1: People get more and more familiar with you and start

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Speaker 1: craving you and your advice as we answered these questions. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's awesome. Well, thank you guys. It's a privilege to

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Speaker 1: be here. I hope that anything we discussed, anything we

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Speaker 1: might say, may help you in some little way. So

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Speaker 1: thanks for having me, Griz. Its pleasure always helps me.

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Speaker 1: We've been talking for you. Got here an hour and

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Speaker 1: four minutes ago. We did an hour. Ante starts the

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Speaker 1: camera when I walk in. We've been talking and talking

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Speaker 1: and talking deep, deep conversations, and I'm like, man, we

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Speaker 1: could have done an entire podcast over this conversation. A

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Speaker 1: lot of it, actually is was revolving around the fact

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Speaker 1: that I went back on tour last week and started

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Speaker 1: a Bible study with the band and crew, open and

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Speaker 1: open Bible study to anyone that wanted to attend. And

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Speaker 1: it was just just short. It would like open with prayer,

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Speaker 1: and then we would read together some scripture and discuss

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Speaker 1: the word and and then discuss kind of a little

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Speaker 1: concept that I had built about either leadership at home

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Speaker 1: or spiritual manhood or tithing your time. Is what we

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Speaker 1: did yesterday, and it was. It was interesting and fulfilling

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Speaker 1: and frustrating and a test for me in all kinds

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Speaker 1: of ways. And then we would close with a prairie

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Speaker 1: quest from the band, and in me, I'm just thinking. Man,

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Speaker 1: We're sitting in a bus in a bar parking lot

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Speaker 1: doing this and it was it was special. And then

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Speaker 1: Bernie comes in and just tells me some really good

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Speaker 1: advice on how to how to continue to be patient

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Speaker 1: and uh in that kind of environment. So I'm if you,

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Speaker 1: if anyone's at this podcast trying to hear something or

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Speaker 1: learn something, just know that I'm constantly learning as well,

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Speaker 1: and constantly trying to evolve and become better. Yeah, we

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Speaker 1: all are, man. Yeah, So I'm gonna steal the first

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Speaker 1: two questions for you. Okay, first question, who would you

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Speaker 1: want to have on this podcast? Present company excluded? Like

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Speaker 1: if you could pick, like, man, I would love to

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Speaker 1: like get this person in uh and kind of go

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Speaker 1: not just like interview them, but like the questions that

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Speaker 1: you know, these guys are sending into you. I would

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Speaker 1: love to like chop up these questions with this person. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: and this is probably gonna be an unpopular answer, but honestly,

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Speaker 1: Jordan Peterson I think about that a lot because I've

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Speaker 1: tell me to Jordan Peters, Jordan, you're familiar Toard, right,

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Speaker 1: Oh you're not? No, okay, Uh, Jordan is a clinical

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Speaker 1: psychiatrist from Toronto, Canada, and he has written a lot

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Speaker 1: of books, one particularly that became very very popular bestseller

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Speaker 1: called Twelve Rules for Life. I started following him. I

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Speaker 1: read the book first, and then I started following him

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Speaker 1: on different YouTube platforms that he did, and then I

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Speaker 1: saw him a couple of times on Joe Rogan. I

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Speaker 1: think he's actually done that several times. And he is

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Speaker 1: super deep, and he is a very very heavy thinker,

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Speaker 1: and he could he's so smart. He could just dissect

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Speaker 1: questions and life's problems. He's not a Christian, so I

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Speaker 1: could imagine him sitting here in this stool and us

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Speaker 1: just going, you know, having these discussions for about an hour.

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Speaker 1: And I always have anytime I hear him in a

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Speaker 1: podcast or an interview, I wish that they would have

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Speaker 1: asked it a different way for him, to challenge him

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Speaker 1: a little bit more so. It's like I said, unpopular answer,

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Speaker 1: but no, I think that's great. Jordan Peterson, all right,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna check him out. And we've mentioned it made

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Speaker 1: him many times on here. Okay, so Jordan, if you're

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Speaker 1: watching open Invitation, I get to just sit in the

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Speaker 1: corner and listen. Though if you have people like that

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Speaker 1: on right, absolutely? Okay, yeah, all right. So second question,

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Speaker 1: the pandemic has been terrible in a lot of ways. Right,

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Speaker 1: There's been a lot of people lost their jobs, a

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Speaker 1: lot of people have died. We recognize that this has

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Speaker 1: not been a fun experience for a lot of folks,

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Speaker 1: but there have been things through this that have been

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Speaker 1: produced that would not have made their way into our lives, habits, people, whatever,

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Speaker 1: if the pandemic had not have hit. So my question

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Speaker 1: is what is the best thing for you that's come

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Speaker 1: out of the pandem in it? Well, first and foremost,

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Speaker 1: little baby growing in Amber's belly right now? Would that

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Speaker 1: don't would that have happened? I don't know. I know

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Speaker 1: you're gonna ask that. I don't know. I don't know

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Speaker 1: if if that is a product of the pandemic, probably not,

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Speaker 1: But because but I had so much time to dedicate

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Speaker 1: to Amber through the process, and you know, we're having

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Speaker 1: this baby through IVF, which was a tedious, long, medically

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Speaker 1: involved process with many meetings, many appointments, many heartbreaks, and

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Speaker 1: if I was on a normal year, normal schedule, it

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Speaker 1: would been very difficult to not be there for Amber

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Speaker 1: in every step of the process and comfort her through

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Speaker 1: like the miscarriage and and the bigger days and some

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Speaker 1: of the disappointing news and some of the exciting news.

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Speaker 1: There was a time when she was going like every week,

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Speaker 1: she would go into a different appointment every week during

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Speaker 1: the week during the day, I would have inevitably had

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Speaker 1: to miss many of those. So that's been a blessing

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Speaker 1: that me and the kids will never forget this time

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Speaker 1: that we've had every morning together, Like every morning they

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Speaker 1: wake up and I'm in there and they come and

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Speaker 1: we have this special time in the afternoons and in

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Speaker 1: the morning when they get off school. During the pandemic,

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Speaker 1: when they weren't in school there was it was all

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Speaker 1: virtual and with them every day, every single day. For

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Speaker 1: a traveling dad with a traveling career, that's been a

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Speaker 1: special thing. It's also it's taught me so much and

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Speaker 1: I'm still learning what it has taught me. For instance,

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Speaker 1: I just learned recently this last week when we took

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Speaker 1: our first tour. We were gone for six days, played

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Speaker 1: four shows, and I learned for the first time ever

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Speaker 1: that I debunked a myth that we have to play

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Speaker 1: a certain amount of shows in a row. To get

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Speaker 1: our chops up, to start sounding good. We went into

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Speaker 1: this with no rehearsal. We went in day one and

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Speaker 1: we nailed the show, and we were high fiving and

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Speaker 1: so excited, and I just thought, Man, I always thought,

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Speaker 1: if we book a big festival, so we booked some

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Speaker 1: massive festival in Michigan. I always thought that we got

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Speaker 1: to book three small dates right in front of it,

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Speaker 1: like club dates, to just get our chops up. But

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Speaker 1: we went in and what I think happened was the

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Speaker 1: crowd was normal for the first time in thirteen months.

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Speaker 1: And because the crowd was normally, it was triggering us

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Speaker 1: to dig into a memory bank of our mind to

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Speaker 1: access a full habit of a show. And so they

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Speaker 1: would trigger. The fans would trigger by doing a sing

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Speaker 1: along or a cheer and trigger back. And we'd played.

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Speaker 1: And we went through these shows and played like twenty eighteen,

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Speaker 1: made mistakes like twenty eighteen, made really good moments as

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Speaker 1: good as it would have been in twenty eighteen nineteen.

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Speaker 1: So there was that one more thing I learned this weekend.

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Speaker 1: I also learned through the band and crew. You know,

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Speaker 1: when you have a bunch of men traveling like that,

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Speaker 1: you inevitably have these men go through ups and downs.

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Speaker 1: They go through isolation moments, they go through exciting moments,

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Speaker 1: they go through fits of what we do call moments

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Speaker 1: of depression. You know, you see guys kind of roaming

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Speaker 1: around on a bus and you're you're in a parking lot.

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Speaker 1: We have to have these off days to get way

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Speaker 1: out to these states we're playing, so we'll be sitting

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Speaker 1: in a parking lot all day while the drivers sleep.

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Speaker 1: So you have to occupy your mind in some way

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Speaker 1: at it, like yesterday where it sat all day in

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Speaker 1: Oklahoma City at Bass Pro Shops parking lot. You have

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Speaker 1: to occupy your mind. What we noticed was what I

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Speaker 1: noticed was that thing that we used to blame on

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Speaker 1: a long tour. Now we're looking at this the same

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Speaker 1: loneliness and isolation and overcome by boredom and missing home.

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Speaker 1: We're seeing those same things from guys that have only

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Speaker 1: been gone three days and they're home the whole year

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Speaker 1: before that. And so it's like, wait a minute, maybe

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Speaker 1: it wasn't we need a break from touring. Maybe it's

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Speaker 1: something deeper, right, Yeah, Maybe it's way deeper than just

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Speaker 1: we've been gone for too long guys, Right, and that's

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Speaker 1: just two things I learned this last week from the pandemic.

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Speaker 1: But there's Yeah, I know that's a long way to

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Speaker 1: answer your question. But how about you, what could you say? Well,

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Speaker 1: the reason I asked you is because somebody asked me,

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Speaker 1: and it made me have to stop and think for

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Speaker 1: a second. And I think for me, I used to

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Speaker 1: wake up at five point thirty right and get into

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Speaker 1: my routine. And because I work downtown, I would and

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to sit in any traffic. I would

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Speaker 1: basically get up, get my workout clothes on, and go

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Speaker 1: downtown and then I would either like run town Lake

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Speaker 1: and then shout out my office and then I would

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Speaker 1: be there, which means that I didn't see my kids

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Speaker 1: from basically the night before, you know, until I got

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Speaker 1: home from work. And part of the question is kind

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Speaker 1: of like, you know, what did you benefit from it?

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Speaker 1: That's like continuing and now I've kind of gotten in

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Speaker 1: this habit of or you know, reshape my routine to

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Speaker 1: where I do everything at home like I do my

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Speaker 1: you know, my quiet time, prayer, meditation, journal, exercise, everything

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Speaker 1: at the house and then I come and I get

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Speaker 1: to spend you know, thirty or forty minutes before the

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Speaker 1: kids leave to school, making breakfast, like joking around with them,

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Speaker 1: and my wife, you know, said the other day, like

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Speaker 1: having you here in the morning has like changed the dynamic,

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Speaker 1: and it's like I actually love being there and getting

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Speaker 1: to like, you know, my little three year old. I

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Speaker 1: just like we leave at the same time, and Leslie

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Speaker 1: walks him to school and I just like ride my

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Speaker 1: truck along next to him as he rides his little

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Speaker 1: strider bike and we yell at each other and yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm a little bit later getting to the office than

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Speaker 1: if I went down and I was like, Okay, I'm there,

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Speaker 1: But the fifteen to twenty minutes that I give up

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Speaker 1: is like, no, man, I'm I'm gonna keep I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: keep this. This is a special gift for me, but

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Speaker 1: also I think for them and for Leslie just to

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Speaker 1: have me get us to be together in the morning.

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Speaker 1: So absolutely, man, it's been awesome, I think, and I

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Speaker 1: kind of I've said this before, but that's where journaling

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Speaker 1: has come in so clutch for me is and I

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Speaker 1: use a I know me and you're very differ on journaling.

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Speaker 1: You go to a spiral notebook and I do a digital,

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Speaker 1: And I started digital three years ago because I didn't

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Speaker 1: always know where I was going to be that day,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't want to always remember to pack my

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Speaker 1: journal wherever I was going because I would forget it.

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Speaker 1: And after I tried a journal for a while in

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Speaker 1: a notebook, I would be like, I forgot it. Well,

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Speaker 1: I guess I'm not journaling today. So I started an

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Speaker 1: app called day one. So I started journaling on this app,

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Speaker 1: and I started it three years ago. And it's been

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Speaker 1: so clutch now because every morning I'll see what happened

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Speaker 1: in twenty nineteen and what happened in twenty twenty on

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Speaker 1: this day. Oh cool, And those two years are a

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Speaker 1: massive contrast for me. This is April, so April twenty

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Speaker 1: nineteen and April twenty twenty. In April twenty twenty one,

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Speaker 1: I had In April nineteen, River was still around touring.

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Speaker 1: Things were looking great. We were living in a completely

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Speaker 1: different house. In April twenty twenty, we'd lost River, the

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Speaker 1: pandemic had hit. We were living in a new house

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Speaker 1: that we had on the market. We're selling, trying to

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Speaker 1: close on the land where we are now with a

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Speaker 1: lot of unknowns, a lot of fear, a lot of worry,

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Speaker 1: and then here I am journaling in April twenty twenty one,

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Speaker 1: with the fulfillment of that whole move and real estate

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Speaker 1: debacle and getting rid of the house and getting into

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Speaker 1: where we are now in the RV and the barn.

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Speaker 1: And it's such good therapy to look back on those

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Speaker 1: two years and see what mattered, what didn't matter, the

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Speaker 1: state of mind I was in the contrast of twenty

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Speaker 1: nineteen and twenty twenty, which I think most people could

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Speaker 1: probably contrast those two years in a similar way and

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Speaker 1: remind myself of gratefulness, what I'm thankful for. What I

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Speaker 1: might have thought I was grateful for that really didn't

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Speaker 1: really even matter that much. Sure, did you say, did

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Speaker 1: you say that You've also started like talking to your

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Speaker 1: future self and your interests, like asking questions. Okay, so

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Speaker 1: I think I started that in twenty twenty A couple

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Speaker 1: of times I would say, people are coming to look

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Speaker 1: at the house today, and keep in mind, we're selling

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Speaker 1: our house. We were trying to get out because my

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Speaker 1: job was unstable, and we were selling in a market

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Speaker 1: where like Travis County had shut down all real estate viewings. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I was in Williamson County, and they were still doing

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Speaker 1: some viewings, but it was like had to sanitize the house,

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Speaker 1: have to wear a mask, have to wear gloves when

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Speaker 1: you come in. So the viewings were very rare. So

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Speaker 1: I was looking at that and just going, hey, future self,

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Speaker 1: how does this work? How does this look? You know, like,

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Speaker 1: do I end up getting out of this house? Am

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Speaker 1: I going to? Because we had we were contingent on

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Speaker 1: we had just got this new land and we're contingent

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Speaker 1: on building if we sold, And so I'm like asking.

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Speaker 1: I started asking my twenty twenty one self. So then

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Speaker 1: in twenty twenty one, I started answering myself cool and

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Speaker 1: most of the answers are chill out, buddy, Ye're fine,

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Speaker 1: You're just fine, It's all gonna be fine. And now

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Speaker 1: I started asking my twenty twenty two self questions, you know,

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Speaker 1: and not that there's a lot of value in that,

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Speaker 1: because your answer is typically going to be one of

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Speaker 1: two things. It's going to be it's all gonna be fine,

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Speaker 1: or it's going to be hold on to what you

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Speaker 1: got and be grateful for what you have right now.

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Speaker 1: It's gonna be one of those two answers. You're right.

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Speaker 1: It's good man. If you want to answer some questions

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Speaker 1: here from other people, even though we could answer each

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Speaker 1: other's questions. See here we go again, Bernie is talking.

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Speaker 1: So if you want to ask me anything, email Grangersmith

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Speaker 1: podcast at gmail dot com. Could be about any subject.

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Speaker 1: As this podcast grows, so are your questions, and so

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Speaker 1: are the categories of your questions. So there's really no

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Speaker 1: limit to what you could ask, and the age limit

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Speaker 1: on this podcast, as we've seen, it's kind of limitless.

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Speaker 1: I have I have people in elementary school and people

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Speaker 1: in nursing homes, all emailing and everything in between. I'm

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Speaker 1: going to leave it up to you Burns on some

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Speaker 1: of these titles. We have a how do I treat

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Speaker 1: how do I treat my wife better? Have new father Advice?

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Speaker 1: I have urgent relationship advice. I have what is it

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Speaker 1: to Be a Man? I have Life as a Journey.

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Speaker 1: I have promotion. Any of those stand out for you.

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Speaker 1: We could start with I'm going to go with first one,

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Speaker 1: how do I treat my wife better? I'm a little

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Speaker 1: scared of this one. Let's get into it. It says

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Speaker 1: I had grantres, so my wife and I have been

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Speaker 1: married almost three years, been together for seven. We have

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Speaker 1: known each other and been friends for eighteen. I have

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Speaker 1: a major temper issue. Sometimes it spills out onto my wife.

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Speaker 1: How do I change this? I've been to prison three times,

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Speaker 1: been to jail twenty times, never for hitting my wife,

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Speaker 1: but all drug related. I have one. I am one

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Speaker 1: year clean. Now how do I treat her better? I

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Speaker 1: get really short with her? Any advice you have would

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Speaker 1: be great. Thank you. I'm not going to read the name,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, I'm sorry. I'm not laughing or smart or

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Speaker 1: smirking or anything at the situation. At I guess the

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Speaker 1: title of the question. I was expecting a different situation.

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Speaker 1: Expect a little bit more loaded. That's a little bit

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Speaker 1: more loaded of a situation than I was expecting. Hey, like,

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Speaker 1: we have young kids. I mean putting, you know, thinking

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Speaker 1: about myself, Like I'm hoping this guy has an answer

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Speaker 1: for the question because it's like, hey, we you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm a business owner, I have small kids, and my

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Speaker 1: mom and I love each other, but we're just trying to,

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Speaker 1: you know, how do we do life and do It's like, okay, bro,

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Speaker 1: let's let's talk about this because I feel this this

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Speaker 1: is uh I would venture to say, unique situation and

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Speaker 1: in another situation where I feel like having the dialogue

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Speaker 1: with this guy. Yeah, in person would be it's like, okay,

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Speaker 1: the twenty times you've been to jail, have those been

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Speaker 1: like recently? Well? He okay, let's say this first. We

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Speaker 1: have to say congratulations on one year clean. He says,

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Speaker 1: I'm one year clean now and all the all the

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Speaker 1: jail time has been drug related now is one year clean.

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Speaker 1: So you would think he's on this is this dude's

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Speaker 1: on a path now. Yep, that's it's a really good path.

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Speaker 1: And so I got to say congratulations on that, and

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Speaker 1: that is that is the most valuable thing you could

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Speaker 1: have right now, is being clean with yourself. Yep. It's

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Speaker 1: more valuable than being nice to your wife, because one

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Speaker 1: has to come before the other, right, and being clean

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Speaker 1: has to come before you're gonna be you're gonna be

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Speaker 1: cool to your wife. I would go journaling first. We

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Speaker 1: could because we just mentioned it. I would say, what

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Speaker 1: helps me with individual relationships sometimes is making a daily

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Speaker 1: challenge for yourself. It has to be, it has to

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Speaker 1: be renewed every single morning. It's because look at it

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Speaker 1: this way, when you wake up in the morning. You've

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Speaker 1: got a clean slate for the day. You have no

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Speaker 1: offenses yet you have you have not been harsh with her.

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Speaker 1: When the sun comes up, you open your eyes, you

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Speaker 1: start a new day. So I would do a quick

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Speaker 1: journal to yourself. This might not even sounds silly, but

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Speaker 1: your your question said, any advice would be great. So

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Speaker 1: here you go. Just say, it's uh, it's Monday. I

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Speaker 1: I'm going to I'm going to start clean today with

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Speaker 1: my wife, just like you you went clean with the drugs.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna start today and I'm not going to be

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Speaker 1: harsh with her at all, and then go through the

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Speaker 1: day and then the next morning reevaluate how you did yesterday.

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Speaker 1: So yesterday I did pretty good until like three o'clock

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Speaker 1: and then she was saying something and I kind of

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Speaker 1: snapped at her. And recognize that and catch catch yourself

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Speaker 1: and label it and give yourself a time that three

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Speaker 1: fifteen I did this. And so today on Tuesday, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna start clean again, and I'm gonna see if I

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Speaker 1: can get all the way through the day. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: get all the way to sundown without being harsh with her.

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Speaker 1: What'd you got burns? Did he say there hasn't been

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Speaker 1: any abuse? Or yes, oh he said never? Where did

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Speaker 1: you say that? Never for hitting her? Never for hitting her? Okay,

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Speaker 1: So man, there's just there's so much here one. Your wife,

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Speaker 1: maybe she's listening to I think that there has to

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Speaker 1: be just kind of some respect and kind of shout

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Speaker 1: out to her for sticking with this guy through what's

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Speaker 1: been a pretty wild up and down journey, and that

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Speaker 1: she if she's listening, and husband, you need to go

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Speaker 1: and tell her if you haven't, that you have not

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Speaker 1: deserved any of that, because abuse can be you know,

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Speaker 1: not just physical, but verbal in the way that you

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Speaker 1: you know, have talked to her and yelled at her,

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Speaker 1: or what you say, you lose your temper, the way

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Speaker 1: you've treated her. There's been some hurt and pains done there.

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Speaker 1: I think that there's a mindset and maybe what you're

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Speaker 1: saying is like the these are kind of practical things

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Speaker 1: that can help shift the mindset. But I don't know

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Speaker 1: if you're a Christian, if you read the Bible, if

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Speaker 1: you know where you at or where where you are

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Speaker 1: on the faith spectrum, but the way that you view

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Speaker 1: your wife and and that kind of mindset may need

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Speaker 1: to be something that shifts and viewing her as more

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Speaker 1: important than yourself and someone that you are called to

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Speaker 1: lay down your life for and to give yourself up

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Speaker 1: for in all things. Right, we've heard that line before.

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Speaker 1: Peter says to love your wife as if that's your

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Speaker 1: own flesh. Right, what does that mean to you? Right? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so there could still be some just neurological habits that

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Speaker 1: are kind of like kicking in that great point. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: hopefully you are. You have support, you have sponsors, you

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Speaker 1: have help, you have a friend. Honestly, community can do

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Speaker 1: a lot for your relationship. Get a band of brothers

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Speaker 1: that can hold you accountable, that can encourage you, that

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Speaker 1: you can talk about like really deep stuff with and

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Speaker 1: be vulnerable with. And because guys, I know the culture

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Speaker 1: tells us the opposite, but that is where your strength

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Speaker 1: is shown, and that's where your strength is renewed, is

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Speaker 1: when you find a band of brothers that you can

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Speaker 1: be vulnerable with and they come to the table and say, hey, man,

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Speaker 1: this is a place that you can let down your

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Speaker 1: guard and you're going to show us that you have

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Speaker 1: courage and that you're you're strong by the amount you're

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Speaker 1: willing to share with us, and I guarantee you if

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Speaker 1: you can find, you know, some people like that at

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Speaker 1: a community like that, they're going to help in a

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Speaker 1: tremendous way. Kind of give you some support. Dude. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: let's go back to the the habit issue Bernie too,

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Speaker 1: because everything you're saying is awesome, and I want to

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Speaker 1: say that I kind of consider myself a recovering temper

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Speaker 1: issue at it. You know, I kind of consider myself

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Speaker 1: to be a mildly recovered per that could fly off

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Speaker 1: the handle. I could fly off the handle on road rage.

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Speaker 1: I could try to prove someone that they're driving's bad

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Speaker 1: by going ninety miles an hour and cutting them off.

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Speaker 1: Like I was that guy. I was the guy that

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Speaker 1: got in a lot of of bar fights. Maybe fights

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Speaker 1: is to say a lot is rough, but maybe bar

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Speaker 1: disputes where it got physical as we were trying to

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Speaker 1: get paid at the end of the night from a

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Speaker 1: bar owner or dealing with someone in the parking lot

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Speaker 1: outside of our van, and I went off the handle

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Speaker 1: a lot and it got so bad for me that

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Speaker 1: I had to I had to start identifying what Bernie

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Speaker 1: said that what was triggering that, Because there's always a trigger,

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Speaker 1: and so I started here we go, riding down, I

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Speaker 1: started writing down my triggers. Number one for me, number

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Speaker 1: one was always sleep, and especially let's take alcohol and drugs.

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Speaker 1: Let's take all that out, because you got to that

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Speaker 1: has to stop. That has a stop anyway if you're

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Speaker 1: dealing with this kind of issue. But other than that,

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Speaker 1: sleep was always a big deal. So I would think,

429
00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:12,400
Speaker 1: if I if I drove all night in the van,

430
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:16,200
Speaker 1: or if I had an early flight or whatever was

431
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:18,240
Speaker 1: going on in my life, if I didn't get much sleep,

432
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 1: I'm on a short fuse today, And so I would

433
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:24,879
Speaker 1: recognize that you're on a short fuse. And when you

434
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:27,680
Speaker 1: recognize that you're on a short fuse, it makes it

435
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 1: so much easier just to say it's not her that's

436
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:34,119
Speaker 1: causing this, this is because I'm hearing it through the

437
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:37,520
Speaker 1: lens of a short fuse. Just don't talk, don't don't really,

438
00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:41,760
Speaker 1: don't say anything else. Let her win. Let her win.

439
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:45,560
Speaker 1: I heard someone say one time that in an argument,

440
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:51,400
Speaker 1: you to win. An argument is a lose for everyone

441
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:53,680
Speaker 1: because the only thing you get out of that is

442
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:56,720
Speaker 1: you get to be right, but she gets to be wrong,

443
00:27:57,200 --> 00:28:01,120
Speaker 1: and that's worse. You then you losing the argument. That's

444
00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:03,920
Speaker 1: worse because now she's wrong and there's a resentment there.

445
00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:07,920
Speaker 1: So it's so much better just to say you know what,

446
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:11,280
Speaker 1: you're right and just let it pass. Because when you

447
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:15,040
Speaker 1: tell her she's right and she gets to feel right, awesome,

448
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:17,879
Speaker 1: and then deep down it doesn't really matter to you.

449
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:22,520
Speaker 1: Just let her have it and you being nice to

450
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:26,440
Speaker 1: her comes after you deal with the temper issue. That

451
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:29,120
Speaker 1: has a start. Dealing with the temper, is you comes

452
00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 1: before you treating your wife better? Right? No? Absolutely? Absolutely? Yeah.

453
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:39,160
Speaker 1: I think like you're saying, is this is a heart

454
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:47,200
Speaker 1: issue first and just a bookend this like Proverbs four

455
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 1: thirty two, above all else. So when that starts with

456
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:54,000
Speaker 1: above all else, and you think about everything in Proverbs,

457
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:57,640
Speaker 1: like that's pretty heavy. Above all else. Guard your heart

458
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:03,800
Speaker 1: for everything you do flows from it. So consider start

459
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:09,200
Speaker 1: to just consider the current state of your heart towards

460
00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:12,720
Speaker 1: your wife, towards your life, towards God, towards your friends,

461
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:17,760
Speaker 1: and then try to think of ways that you can

462
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:21,120
Speaker 1: guard it from all of the different things that are

463
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:25,640
Speaker 1: trying to change it in a way that makes it

464
00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:30,200
Speaker 1: you fly off the handle towards people you you know,

465
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:33,400
Speaker 1: treat your wife this certain way, like really just guarding

466
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:38,440
Speaker 1: your heart as much as you possibly can and really

467
00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:44,400
Speaker 1: giving your heart things that are life giving. I don't know, man,

468
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:47,440
Speaker 1: it's a tough situation. I'm glad to hear that you've it.

469
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:50,760
Speaker 1: Sounds like you've turned a corner. Be encouraged, stick with it,

470
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 1: find community, guard your heart, and yeah, man, email us

471
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:57,320
Speaker 1: back in and let us know because you know, when

472
00:29:57,360 --> 00:30:03,240
Speaker 1: does this come in, like Sunday, Give us time, see

473
00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:05,840
Speaker 1: how things go. But we're gonna keep us, keep us

474
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:07,560
Speaker 1: up today, keep us up to day. We're gonna take

475
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:14,680
Speaker 1: a break, be right back. Podcast is brought to you

476
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Speaker 1: guys today in part by ship Station. If you sell

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Speaker 1: ship Happen. The podcast is also brought to you today

510
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Speaker 1: by Athletic Greens. And I've been using this for a

511
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Speaker 1: while now, and I got this in the mail from

512
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Speaker 1: Athletic Greens when I was going to start talking about

513
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Speaker 1: it and using it as a sponsor for this podcast.

514
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Speaker 1: And it comes to me in either a little circular

515
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Speaker 1: canister where you could add a little scoop in it,

516
00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:26,160
Speaker 1: or I also have been using a lot of these

517
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:28,520
Speaker 1: individual packets where you literally just rip the top of

518
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Speaker 1: the packet and you use it. It's a green powder

519
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Speaker 1: and it's all the essential vitamins and minerals that you

520
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Speaker 1: need in your life from green vegetables made into a

521
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Speaker 1: powder form without any kind of additives. And I do it.

522
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:45,200
Speaker 1: You could do it with water, which I've done, and

523
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Speaker 1: it tastes just fine. It doesn't have it doesn't have

524
00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 1: a gross, green slammy taste at all. It's actually kind

525
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:55,600
Speaker 1: of sweet, almost tastes like juice. I use it for

526
00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:58,280
Speaker 1: my shakes, which makes it easy. I'll put like protein

527
00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:01,720
Speaker 1: powder and a banana and an apple, ice and water

528
00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:04,440
Speaker 1: and a packet of Athletic Greens. I've been doing this

529
00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:09,200
Speaker 1: for least probably three months now, and it's really really great,

530
00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:14,240
Speaker 1: and I always enjoy reading about Athletic Greens to you guys,

531
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:19,920
Speaker 1: because I truly endorse it. So one taste of Athletic

532
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533
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Speaker 1: seventy five vitamins, minerals, and whole food sourced and ingredients

534
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Speaker 1: including a multi vitamin, a multi mineral, probiotics, green superfood blend,

535
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536
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537
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Speaker 1: with digestion, and it supports a healthy immune system, all

538
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Speaker 1: without the need to take multiple products or gross, big

539
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540
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541
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542
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543
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544
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545
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546
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Speaker 1: you eat keto, paleo, vegan, dairy free, gluten free, contains

547
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548
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Speaker 1: Right now, Athletic Greens is doubling down and supporting your

549
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550
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Speaker 1: a free one year supply of Vitamin D and five

551
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Speaker 1: free travel packs. And I think that's what I use,

552
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:38,359
Speaker 1: is the travel packs. It's super easy. Like I said,

553
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:40,120
Speaker 1: you just rip the top off and pour it in

554
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:43,279
Speaker 1: your water or in your juice or in your shake

555
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Speaker 1: like I do. With your first purchase on my link today,

556
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557
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Speaker 1: they're going to give you all that free stuff. So,

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Speaker 1: whether you're looking for peak performance or better health, covering

559
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560
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Speaker 1: immunity and gut health each day simple, tasty, and efficient.

561
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Speaker 1: Simply visit Athleticgreens dot com slash granger and join health experts, athletes,

562
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563
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Speaker 1: daily commitment to their healthy lifestyle. Again, visit Athleticgreens dot

564
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Speaker 1: com slash granger get your free one year supply of

565
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Speaker 1: Vitamin D and five free travel tax these are this

566
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Speaker 1: is really awesome and I'm just I'm always happy to

567
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:33,640
Speaker 1: endorse products like ship Station and Athletic Greens that we

568
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:36,279
Speaker 1: truly use and I could I could deliver to you guys.

569
00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:39,200
Speaker 1: This this podcast is free to listen to. It costs

570
00:35:39,239 --> 00:35:42,200
Speaker 1: me money to produce it, so it works perfectly that

571
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:45,960
Speaker 1: I get to enjoy endorse products that I actually use.

572
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:52,239
Speaker 1: All right, Burns, let's get another one. Here is if

573
00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:54,520
Speaker 1: you If you guys have an email or have a question,

574
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:57,719
Speaker 1: email it to Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. We

575
00:35:57,840 --> 00:36:01,960
Speaker 1: have new Father Advice Urgent relationship advice, and it says

576
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:03,680
Speaker 1: for you what does it mean to be a man?

577
00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:08,600
Speaker 1: Let's go new father, new father because I man. Before

578
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:10,560
Speaker 1: I came up here, I was actually just thinking about

579
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:13,759
Speaker 1: now having three kids, and people that are about to

580
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,640
Speaker 1: have kids, like I had some thoughts about that, so

581
00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:19,400
Speaker 1: many crisis for them, says Hey Granger. My name is Dakota.

582
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 1: I'm from Winfield, Kansas. I've been watching your videos, listening

583
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:24,719
Speaker 1: to your music and podcasts for a little bit. I've

584
00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:26,880
Speaker 1: really enjoyed watching and listening to you and your families

585
00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:29,960
Speaker 1: videos music could podcast. Thank you, buddy. My wife and

586
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,239
Speaker 1: I just got married in November, and I just turned

587
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:34,239
Speaker 1: twenty one in February and my wife will be twenty

588
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:36,640
Speaker 1: in June. We have a little girl coming in June.

589
00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:39,279
Speaker 1: Do you have any advice for being a dad to

590
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:42,120
Speaker 1: a girl? How do I make sure I lead her

591
00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:45,200
Speaker 1: in the path of the Lord and to have strong faith.

592
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:48,920
Speaker 1: I'm just super nervous about not knowing how to do

593
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:51,759
Speaker 1: something right or messing something a lot, messing something up

594
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:55,000
Speaker 1: because I'm just so young. Also, my in laws aren't

595
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:58,239
Speaker 1: big fans of me, and they don't see me much,

596
00:36:58,360 --> 00:37:00,399
Speaker 1: and I'm trying to have a good relationship with them,

597
00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:03,800
Speaker 1: and it's hard to do my best to provide for

598
00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:07,240
Speaker 1: the family. Do you have any advice for that situation

599
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:09,799
Speaker 1: as well? So that's kind of two questions here. Thanks

600
00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:11,520
Speaker 1: for taking the time to read my email. God bless

601
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:16,439
Speaker 1: you and your family, Sincerely, Dakota. So two questions. Yeah,

602
00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:21,959
Speaker 1: the second one is pretty easy. You love their daughter

603
00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:28,359
Speaker 1: and you love their granddaughter in a way that they

604
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:33,360
Speaker 1: see the joy in life in their child and their grandchild.

605
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:36,239
Speaker 1: You're gonna win them over, no doubt. Yeah, he says,

606
00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:39,560
Speaker 1: they don't see how much I'm trying to have a

607
00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:42,600
Speaker 1: good relationship with them, or how hard I'm trying to

608
00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:45,200
Speaker 1: do my best to provide for my family. So what

609
00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:49,080
Speaker 1: Bernie's saying is they will by your actions. Yep, give

610
00:37:49,120 --> 00:37:53,360
Speaker 1: it some time. They're seeing the joy that your wife

611
00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:57,400
Speaker 1: has in life, and that she feels loved and cared

612
00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:00,560
Speaker 1: for and safe, and sometimes that it takes a little

613
00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:04,399
Speaker 1: more time. But if you're diligent in that, and that's

614
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:06,600
Speaker 1: why you wake up, man, I am going to love

615
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:09,040
Speaker 1: this woman. I'm going to love this little girl. I'm

616
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:13,200
Speaker 1: going to give myself up for them and everything. I

617
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:15,799
Speaker 1: think you're gonna win them over. So just give it time.

618
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:20,480
Speaker 1: I want to speak also to the question within the question,

619
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:25,960
Speaker 1: when you said I'm super nervous about messing this up

620
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,160
Speaker 1: because I'm so young, So I want to knock that

621
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:31,719
Speaker 1: out too and just say that's not an issue. You're

622
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:35,160
Speaker 1: twenty one. There have been many fathers that have come

623
00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:37,480
Speaker 1: before you on planet Earth that have been twenty one

624
00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:41,719
Speaker 1: years old and done just fine. You're perfectly capable inside

625
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:46,080
Speaker 1: your being to raise this little girl and to support

626
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:49,439
Speaker 1: this family at your age and your wife's age. In fact,

627
00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:52,680
Speaker 1: almost all of our grandparents and great grandparents and grand

628
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 1: they were all that age. It's just a modern thing

629
00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:56,919
Speaker 1: that people are waiting till they're a little bit later.

630
00:38:57,440 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 1: So erase that from the question. You're fine, yep, right.

631
00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:04,400
Speaker 1: And you mentioned like raising her in the way of

632
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:08,239
Speaker 1: the Lord and you know, pointing her, you know, towards God.

633
00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:11,359
Speaker 1: So it sounds like you have, you know, God's word

634
00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 1: as a guide, and so keep digging into that and

635
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:21,800
Speaker 1: just devour it and wrestle with it and ponder it

636
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:25,800
Speaker 1: and write about it and challenge it and stretch it

637
00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:29,120
Speaker 1: and everything, and it's gonna point you in the right

638
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:33,640
Speaker 1: direction for sure. So my thought on this what came

639
00:39:33,719 --> 00:39:37,799
Speaker 1: to mind that if this came up for whatever reason,

640
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:38,800
Speaker 1: I was like, man, I feel like I need to

641
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:44,840
Speaker 1: share this. I don't know how to communicate to like

642
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:50,359
Speaker 1: treat this first kid like it's your third or fourth kid,

643
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:56,560
Speaker 1: because the way that I treat Jet, I wish that

644
00:39:56,719 --> 00:40:01,240
Speaker 1: I would have, like had the whereabouts to treat Boston

645
00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:05,160
Speaker 1: that way, because I feel like there's this certain amount

646
00:40:05,239 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 1: of pressure and attention and protection and the first kid

647
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:14,200
Speaker 1: kind of gets you know, and as a first time parent,

648
00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 1: the only thing that you want to do is not

649
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:19,880
Speaker 1: screw this up. You're right, and like you want to

650
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:21,640
Speaker 1: point them to the Lord. You want to you know,

651
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:23,560
Speaker 1: it's it's your first go with this. You want the

652
00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:25,759
Speaker 1: parents to look at you and say like, oh, yeah,

653
00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:30,799
Speaker 1: he's you know, he's care for him. But I think

654
00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:35,160
Speaker 1: if there's just if you can have more or let

655
00:40:35,239 --> 00:40:38,800
Speaker 1: me say it this way. I wish that with my

656
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:44,879
Speaker 1: first two I would have had more of a sense of, hey,

657
00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:48,680
Speaker 1: everything's going to be okay. Like the things that you

658
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:52,799
Speaker 1: think are a big deal, I'm seeing with Jet it's

659
00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:55,480
Speaker 1: like it's not that big a deal, right, just it's

660
00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:59,359
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, if Boston would have spilled, first of all,

661
00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:02,719
Speaker 1: Boston would have never been able to have an ice

662
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:05,160
Speaker 1: cream shake in my truck. Dude, you don't eat food

663
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:09,759
Speaker 1: in my truck. Jet is like standing up, like you know,

664
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:13,319
Speaker 1: just like spilling it everywhere. And I'm not losing my pati.

665
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:16,040
Speaker 1: It's a difference in siblings, man, And I'm like, that's

666
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:19,640
Speaker 1: why there's you could always tell the difference in Oh

667
00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:21,719
Speaker 1: you're the middle child, aren't you You're the youngest, aren't

668
00:41:21,719 --> 00:41:24,439
Speaker 1: you you must be the oldest. It reflects the rest

669
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:27,439
Speaker 1: of your life, how that happened. Yep, so that would

670
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:30,320
Speaker 1: be that's my experience. That's what I would say, is like,

671
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:36,640
Speaker 1: just try to not just you know, I don't know,

672
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:39,640
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Totally, man, totally. I would

673
00:41:39,719 --> 00:41:42,239
Speaker 1: say this is I don't think I ever say anything

674
00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:46,080
Speaker 1: like this, but raise your expectations of yourself as a

675
00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:50,400
Speaker 1: father and lower your expectations of your little girl's reaction

676
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:55,120
Speaker 1: and love for you. You know, that's perfect because you're

677
00:41:55,160 --> 00:41:57,839
Speaker 1: going to come in and expect her to just You're like, Dad,

678
00:41:57,920 --> 00:42:00,719
Speaker 1: you're gonna love you. And then she's like, doesn't even

679
00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:04,120
Speaker 1: look at you, and you're like, man, I don't know

680
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:06,400
Speaker 1: if I feel that just didn't feel right. You know,

681
00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:08,600
Speaker 1: I thought it was gonna be so much more than this,

682
00:42:09,719 --> 00:42:11,680
Speaker 1: and it is. You got to give it time. It

683
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:15,000
Speaker 1: is like my little girl is you know, it seems

684
00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:17,799
Speaker 1: like yesterday when we were having this discussion with her

685
00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:21,040
Speaker 1: and she was a baby, and now she's nine, and

686
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:23,279
Speaker 1: I honestly feel like she just now started loving me

687
00:42:23,719 --> 00:42:27,840
Speaker 1: a lot. She always loved me, daddy, she always loved daddy,

688
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:32,360
Speaker 1: but now she loves me. She craves my attention, she

689
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:34,960
Speaker 1: craves the time, She wants to hold onto my neck

690
00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:39,000
Speaker 1: longer and squeeze me tighter, and she wants to tell

691
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:42,359
Speaker 1: stories later into the night, and she wants to get

692
00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:45,680
Speaker 1: up earlier to see me. That's not what she did

693
00:42:45,719 --> 00:42:49,400
Speaker 1: when she was four, right, you know. I was almost

694
00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:51,359
Speaker 1: an annoyance to her when she was three and four

695
00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:54,080
Speaker 1: years old as a little girl. Boys are different. Boys

696
00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:58,560
Speaker 1: were different, But there is a difference when raising girls

697
00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:03,759
Speaker 1: and boys and girls. Girls need to be listened to

698
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:06,839
Speaker 1: a lot, and they need to be felt, and they

699
00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 1: need to be heard their their emotions need to be

700
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:12,520
Speaker 1: heard and their feelings need to be acknowledged a lot,

701
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:18,800
Speaker 1: and boys don't. Boys are, especially young boys, with a

702
00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:23,000
Speaker 1: lot more surface level emotions. They get over things quick.

703
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:27,759
Speaker 1: Injuries don't last as long. Their feelings don't stay hurt

704
00:43:28,200 --> 00:43:30,840
Speaker 1: very long at all. If if longer than ten seconds,

705
00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:34,239
Speaker 1: it's weird. London's feelings could stay hurt the whole day,

706
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:37,680
Speaker 1: you know, and then she'll get over it and then

707
00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:40,400
Speaker 1: go back into it. We had that with Stella. Happened yesterday.

708
00:43:40,400 --> 00:43:43,640
Speaker 1: It was like the feelings got hurt, something happened. She's like, okay,

709
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:46,120
Speaker 1: and then like an hour later she went back in.

710
00:43:46,239 --> 00:43:48,120
Speaker 1: She was like, but this and then she thought about

711
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:50,200
Speaker 1: it again, thought about it again. It was the whole thing. No,

712
00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:53,279
Speaker 1: that wouldn't happen with Boston or Jet Yeah, no way,

713
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:56,680
Speaker 1: no way. Yeah, they'd be cool, it'd be over and

714
00:43:57,000 --> 00:44:01,120
Speaker 1: neither way. I'm not advocating either one is good or bad. Dif'

715
00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:07,279
Speaker 1: that's how it is. So we've gone through these kind

716
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:11,520
Speaker 1: of questions before, similar questions, and it's just, dude, you're

717
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:14,040
Speaker 1: asking all the right questions and you're coming from the

718
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:16,879
Speaker 1: right place. How do I lead her in the path

719
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:19,000
Speaker 1: with the Lord? Have strong faith? Well, you get down

720
00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:22,640
Speaker 1: on your knees and you say that. Yeah, people, I've

721
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:27,240
Speaker 1: heard it said before that vote. Bacham said, you people

722
00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:30,040
Speaker 1: are so they pray so much for their kid to

723
00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:32,240
Speaker 1: go to the right school, or to get the right grade,

724
00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:34,840
Speaker 1: or to get on the right baseball team, or to

725
00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:38,960
Speaker 1: make the dancer sidle, and they never do that about

726
00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:43,520
Speaker 1: their faith or salvation or loving the Lord. Yeah. So

727
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:46,080
Speaker 1: it's like, God, please help this this little girl get

728
00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:48,000
Speaker 1: a good grade on her math test because if she does,

729
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:49,759
Speaker 1: she'll get to go into this next school and she

730
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:52,400
Speaker 1: really needs she really wants it, so please God. But

731
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:54,920
Speaker 1: how many times do we pray about her faith or

732
00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:59,839
Speaker 1: her salvation or yeah, that's I think the answer here

733
00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:02,520
Speaker 1: is the same answer for both of these questions. And

734
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:07,400
Speaker 1: that's what you're saying. Like the way that you, you know,

735
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:10,359
Speaker 1: lead this little girl and raise her in the way

736
00:45:10,400 --> 00:45:12,000
Speaker 1: of the Lord, how do you win the parents over?

737
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:18,280
Speaker 1: It's it's just through your consistent, faithful love and affection

738
00:45:18,560 --> 00:45:21,000
Speaker 1: and showing up. You just got to show a lot

739
00:45:21,040 --> 00:45:26,160
Speaker 1: of times. It's just showing up and continuing to love her,

740
00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:30,080
Speaker 1: continuing to love her, continuing to love her, patience. All

741
00:45:30,239 --> 00:45:33,200
Speaker 1: all of these things I think win over the the

742
00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:38,680
Speaker 1: in laws. And also, you know, your little girl is

743
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:42,320
Speaker 1: just gonna feel loved and confident and safe, you know

744
00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:45,239
Speaker 1: when she grows up. And that's definitely in this world

745
00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:47,960
Speaker 1: what we want our daughters to have is good. Is

746
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:51,200
Speaker 1: that kind of confidence. You're going to show her how

747
00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:53,520
Speaker 1: to walk in the path of the Lord by how

748
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:56,120
Speaker 1: you lead her there. She's going to watch you. She's

749
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:58,239
Speaker 1: going to watch you get it up early, and she's

750
00:45:58,280 --> 00:45:59,799
Speaker 1: going to come and she's when she wakes up from

751
00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:01,640
Speaker 1: her and walks in there and you're reading the Bible,

752
00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:03,640
Speaker 1: she's going to remember that that's what Daddy did in

753
00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:06,200
Speaker 1: the morning. And when you say your prayers with her

754
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:09,560
Speaker 1: at night and at meals and during the day. We

755
00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:12,080
Speaker 1: get together as a family now and it's a new

756
00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:16,759
Speaker 1: thing for us, and we'll pray before school. So it's like, okay,

757
00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:19,160
Speaker 1: they're about to you know, about to go to school,

758
00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:21,200
Speaker 1: and we all get in a circle and we pray

759
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:23,040
Speaker 1: for the day, and we see if the kids have

760
00:46:23,160 --> 00:46:25,880
Speaker 1: anything that's coming up that they're worried about or anxious about,

761
00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:29,279
Speaker 1: or anything going on, and we'll pray for that. And

762
00:46:30,680 --> 00:46:33,920
Speaker 1: we do that for all kinds of reasons, but one

763
00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:38,200
Speaker 1: of the reasons is so that they know that, as

764
00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:40,600
Speaker 1: you say here, Dakota, walking in the path of the

765
00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:44,440
Speaker 1: Lord is the number one priority. They're going to see

766
00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:48,600
Speaker 1: that through mom and Dad leading them that way. It's

767
00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:51,400
Speaker 1: not like a special teaching that you could do. It's

768
00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:56,759
Speaker 1: a it's something you model for them a man. Good

769
00:46:56,840 --> 00:47:00,080
Speaker 1: luck to you, buddy, Dakota. Good luck man. Thanks of

770
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:03,640
Speaker 1: the question got urgent relationship advice? What is it to

771
00:47:03,719 --> 00:47:06,959
Speaker 1: be a man? Podcast? Question? Kind of random what another

772
00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:10,080
Speaker 1: one says question and then Hay Grangeer, I need some advice,

773
00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:15,359
Speaker 1: And then life is a journey. Let's go life as

774
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:21,839
Speaker 1: a journey, all right, because we Yeah, I didn't think

775
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:24,759
Speaker 1: you're gonna go there, It says Hay grangew. My name

776
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:29,799
Speaker 1: is Ernie from Wisconsin. Shout out to Wisconsin, Wisconsin. I've

777
00:47:29,840 --> 00:47:31,440
Speaker 1: seen you many times in the past. I grew up

778
00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:33,480
Speaker 1: in the country, and I've had a very privileged life

779
00:47:33,520 --> 00:47:36,319
Speaker 1: that I get to eat and sleep and breathe big bucks,

780
00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:43,600
Speaker 1: shooting ducks and jacked up Cummings trucks. Over the years,

781
00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:48,040
Speaker 1: I've developed a quite serious alcohol and substance abuse problem.

782
00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:52,080
Speaker 1: I started out with no mental health issues, but over

783
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:56,279
Speaker 1: the years of very traumatic events and losing my girlfriends

784
00:47:56,880 --> 00:48:00,520
Speaker 1: and fiance and ninety percent of the people that I've

785
00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:05,600
Speaker 1: ever cared about, along with most of my friends. Sorry

786
00:48:05,640 --> 00:48:08,719
Speaker 1: this once again, I made that reaction just because it's

787
00:48:10,480 --> 00:48:17,239
Speaker 1: says not to mention the legal issues, multiple DUI, financial issues, homelessness, bankruptcy,

788
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:19,839
Speaker 1: the list goes on and on and on. I gave

789
00:48:19,920 --> 00:48:23,880
Speaker 1: it full year of sobriety, and I'm dealing with years

790
00:48:23,960 --> 00:48:27,800
Speaker 1: of consequences. I just don't have the energy or mental

791
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:30,600
Speaker 1: stability to keep fighting and to keep hustling every day

792
00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:34,880
Speaker 1: with the severe depression among other issues. This is not

793
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:37,840
Speaker 1: how I thought this email was going to go. Sorry,

794
00:48:38,239 --> 00:48:41,040
Speaker 1: I just don't have the motivation and drive anymore to

795
00:48:41,239 --> 00:48:43,840
Speaker 1: go and make a good life happen. I guess my

796
00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:47,200
Speaker 1: question is I'm so stuck. I cannot find the motivation

797
00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:49,840
Speaker 1: to put on my boots every day. What shouldn't do

798
00:48:49,880 --> 00:48:53,160
Speaker 1: to try to move forward? Based on your previous being

799
00:48:53,239 --> 00:48:59,799
Speaker 1: Stuck podcast, this this email went so so different from

800
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:06,399
Speaker 1: already out saying I have a very privileged life. Thanks

801
00:49:06,440 --> 00:49:12,440
Speaker 1: so much, Ernie. Well, he's got a perspective that's I

802
00:49:12,520 --> 00:49:17,280
Speaker 1: guess positive if he feels like his life has been privileged.

803
00:49:22,160 --> 00:49:27,719
Speaker 1: Where to start with, Ernie, It's a lot of stuff. Yeah,

804
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:33,360
Speaker 1: I'm struggling with the same question, Bernie. Where to start

805
00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:39,799
Speaker 1: because this is one of his question is really how

806
00:49:39,840 --> 00:49:46,760
Speaker 1: to forward? How do we have motivation? This Stuck podcast

807
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:49,520
Speaker 1: he's talking about were you on that was that park?

808
00:49:50,440 --> 00:49:53,000
Speaker 1: Thank you? I don't think it was me, but I

809
00:49:53,120 --> 00:50:04,600
Speaker 1: remember seeing it, so I don't. He hasn't alluded again. Man,

810
00:50:04,680 --> 00:50:07,360
Speaker 1: we need like a studio audience, when need these people

811
00:50:07,560 --> 00:50:11,160
Speaker 1: in a chair where we can just ask them so stuff.

812
00:50:11,360 --> 00:50:13,239
Speaker 1: Let's go. Let's start with kind of what we did

813
00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:18,359
Speaker 1: a few questions ago, where we say congratulations on the sobriety. Yeah,

814
00:50:18,680 --> 00:50:24,799
Speaker 1: that is you have recognized that that was causing an

815
00:50:24,840 --> 00:50:31,000
Speaker 1: issue and you have dealt with that. And I could, dude,

816
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:33,200
Speaker 1: I could, I could sympathize with I just don't have

817
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:36,680
Speaker 1: the energy or mental stability to keep fighting and hustling

818
00:50:36,719 --> 00:50:42,719
Speaker 1: every day with the severe depression. And so let me

819
00:50:42,760 --> 00:50:46,600
Speaker 1: say this, and I've heard John Piper say this, there

820
00:50:46,719 --> 00:50:50,560
Speaker 1: is there is no shame in understanding that there is.

821
00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:54,200
Speaker 1: There is a many forms of depression that just are

822
00:50:54,239 --> 00:50:58,400
Speaker 1: going to require medication. And so I would say, Ernie,

823
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:05,200
Speaker 1: I would recommend visiting a doctor about this. Yeah, absolutely,

824
00:51:05,440 --> 00:51:08,920
Speaker 1: because the worst the doctor could say is no, you're

825
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:10,960
Speaker 1: You're fine. I don't think that's going to happen there,

826
00:51:11,160 --> 00:51:16,040
Speaker 1: But there is. There is. There is mental injuries that

827
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:20,080
Speaker 1: happen to people that are unseen by the eye and

828
00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:25,080
Speaker 1: hard to understand. But PTSD is a real thing that

829
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:29,759
Speaker 1: causes real damage, and we see it with soldiers and

830
00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:34,680
Speaker 1: law enforcement officers all the time. But it also happens

831
00:51:34,719 --> 00:51:41,480
Speaker 1: to civilians and that requires a level of professional medical

832
00:51:41,560 --> 00:51:45,879
Speaker 1: help that probably could lead to some kind of light

833
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:50,839
Speaker 1: form of medication to help that. I'm speaking way out

834
00:51:50,880 --> 00:51:54,480
Speaker 1: of terms here because I'm not I'm not qualified to

835
00:51:54,600 --> 00:51:57,360
Speaker 1: speak on this realm of medication at all. I'm just

836
00:51:57,440 --> 00:52:02,920
Speaker 1: qualified to speak about help the country boys problem, speak

837
00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:08,960
Speaker 1: about any of this stuff, just to be therapist psychologists.

838
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:12,399
Speaker 1: So yeah, arey, I'd start there, man, I would set

839
00:52:12,440 --> 00:52:15,160
Speaker 1: up an appointment and I would go and dump this

840
00:52:15,320 --> 00:52:24,000
Speaker 1: on a a licensed medical professional and being very careful

841
00:52:24,120 --> 00:52:27,040
Speaker 1: with dealing with any kind of medications because you've had

842
00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:29,759
Speaker 1: substance abuse in the past, so that has to be

843
00:52:29,840 --> 00:52:32,680
Speaker 1: a part of the conversation with the doctor. You don't

844
00:52:32,719 --> 00:52:35,560
Speaker 1: want to make this worse. It could always get worse.

845
00:52:35,840 --> 00:52:39,720
Speaker 1: That's a scary thing life. However bad it might seem,

846
00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:43,320
Speaker 1: you could keep making it worse. So you want to

847
00:52:43,480 --> 00:52:47,680
Speaker 1: stop the digging right now. Stop stop digging the hole

848
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:50,080
Speaker 1: that you're in, and you want to start bringing dirt

849
00:52:50,280 --> 00:52:53,680
Speaker 1: back into the hole that you've already dug. So don't

850
00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:58,000
Speaker 1: don't make another substance abuse problem happen with some kind

851
00:52:58,040 --> 00:53:01,360
Speaker 1: of medication. So with that kind of alarm going on,

852
00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:06,320
Speaker 1: go visit a doctor. Yeah, we'll start there. Absolutely. So

853
00:53:06,520 --> 00:53:08,640
Speaker 1: there's a book that I'm reading right now, just reference

854
00:53:08,719 --> 00:53:12,600
Speaker 1: really quick, The Coddling of the American Mind. You read it,

855
00:53:13,239 --> 00:53:16,000
Speaker 1: heard of it. Okay, the only thing I'm gonna reference

856
00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:22,400
Speaker 1: is CBT, which they talk about is cognitive behavioral therapy,

857
00:53:22,719 --> 00:53:25,400
Speaker 1: and that could be something else to look into and research.

858
00:53:25,480 --> 00:53:29,719
Speaker 1: It's an alternative to medicine. Research is showing that it

859
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:36,200
Speaker 1: is more effective and healthier option. Not just the healthier Oh,

860
00:53:36,280 --> 00:53:38,920
Speaker 1: this is the organic way to like you know, No,

861
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:43,160
Speaker 1: it's showing that it's more effective. So research it again.

862
00:53:43,280 --> 00:53:45,880
Speaker 1: Like I'm just reading this book and starting to understand

863
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:50,160
Speaker 1: some of this stuff, but that is just jumping out

864
00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:52,719
Speaker 1: to me so and not just what's this cat's name,

865
00:53:52,760 --> 00:53:56,640
Speaker 1: or we're not saying this Ernie, Ernie. That's right. This

866
00:53:56,800 --> 00:53:59,239
Speaker 1: is not just for him. This is for you know,

867
00:53:59,719 --> 00:54:03,680
Speaker 1: any body out there that is wrestling with some of

868
00:54:03,800 --> 00:54:10,920
Speaker 1: these things. Maybe you're in a similar situation. But I'm

869
00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:14,480
Speaker 1: always going to go back to two things. I always

870
00:54:15,200 --> 00:54:20,000
Speaker 1: try to go back to two things, God's Word and community. Okay,

871
00:54:20,760 --> 00:54:23,920
Speaker 1: you have got to like start with God's Word and

872
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:26,960
Speaker 1: what it says. If you're looking for a motivation to

873
00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:30,320
Speaker 1: move forward, you need a purpose in your life. And

874
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:33,120
Speaker 1: I'm going to encourage you to search God's word, wrestle

875
00:54:33,200 --> 00:54:35,800
Speaker 1: with it, and find your purpose that can give you

876
00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:37,520
Speaker 1: the motivation to get out of bed each day. The

877
00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:41,480
Speaker 1: second thing is community. We can't do that alone because

878
00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:44,399
Speaker 1: left to ourselves, we will choose ourselves every single time.

879
00:54:45,280 --> 00:54:48,440
Speaker 1: Send this podcast, Ernie to one of your friends or

880
00:54:48,480 --> 00:54:53,160
Speaker 1: to somebody, and maybe this can be the thing that

881
00:54:53,600 --> 00:54:57,799
Speaker 1: starts to hey Granger Smith podcast, like read my question,

882
00:54:58,480 --> 00:55:00,880
Speaker 1: and by doing that, you're showing the vulnerability to one

883
00:55:00,920 --> 00:55:03,359
Speaker 1: of your friends, and maybe they like say, hey, I'd

884
00:55:03,440 --> 00:55:06,600
Speaker 1: like to you know, let's let's keep talking about this stuff.

885
00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:08,440
Speaker 1: I'd love to support you. And then all of a

886
00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:10,320
Speaker 1: sudden there's somebody else that can come in and you

887
00:55:10,440 --> 00:55:13,160
Speaker 1: kind of all of a sudden have this community of

888
00:55:13,280 --> 00:55:19,160
Speaker 1: support that's going to coincide with, you know, professional help.

889
00:55:19,239 --> 00:55:23,000
Speaker 1: Like Granger said, but I think you got you gotta

890
00:55:23,080 --> 00:55:25,839
Speaker 1: have I mean totally right, you know, correct me if

891
00:55:25,840 --> 00:55:28,319
Speaker 1: I'm wrong, But like for any of these things, that's

892
00:55:28,360 --> 00:55:30,040
Speaker 1: so right. I've got to have community. You gotta have

893
00:55:30,080 --> 00:55:33,320
Speaker 1: God's words. So here's what I would say to to

894
00:55:33,719 --> 00:55:36,719
Speaker 1: lead directly where Bernie's going with this, Wherever you are

895
00:55:36,760 --> 00:55:40,680
Speaker 1: in Wisconsin, whatever town you're in. Encourage you to find

896
00:55:40,680 --> 00:55:45,880
Speaker 1: a church, which is not it's not easy. It's not

897
00:55:45,960 --> 00:55:47,719
Speaker 1: as easy maybe as it even used to be. And

898
00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:49,680
Speaker 1: the reason I know this is because I just went

899
00:55:49,719 --> 00:55:54,120
Speaker 1: to church in Soux Falls, South Dakota, and it's like,

900
00:55:54,400 --> 00:55:55,880
Speaker 1: you look at that, you look at a town, what

901
00:55:55,960 --> 00:55:58,200
Speaker 1: do you do? Pull up Google, Google Maps and google church.

902
00:55:58,320 --> 00:56:00,120
Speaker 1: I mean, what do you? What do you do? So

903
00:56:00,560 --> 00:56:02,560
Speaker 1: it took a little bit of research, and I had

904
00:56:02,600 --> 00:56:04,080
Speaker 1: to know what I was looking for in the mission

905
00:56:04,160 --> 00:56:07,560
Speaker 1: statement so you could tell. And I looked at several

906
00:56:07,800 --> 00:56:09,359
Speaker 1: and I looked at their mission statement, and you could

907
00:56:09,360 --> 00:56:14,239
Speaker 1: tell quickly what they're about. Are you about prosperity and

908
00:56:14,239 --> 00:56:19,160
Speaker 1: getting rich quick? Are you about preaching Jesus right the

909
00:56:19,239 --> 00:56:22,960
Speaker 1: way that the Gospel was intended? So you look for

910
00:56:23,080 --> 00:56:25,520
Speaker 1: those kind of words, that kind of wording to find

911
00:56:25,600 --> 00:56:28,840
Speaker 1: that church. There's one around you in Wisconsin. I guarantee you.

912
00:56:29,600 --> 00:56:32,120
Speaker 1: You walk through those doors. Seven days a week. You

913
00:56:32,239 --> 00:56:33,879
Speaker 1: walk that door and you go, hey, guys, I'm Ernie.

914
00:56:34,840 --> 00:56:37,600
Speaker 1: Can I talk to somebody around here? I'm just looking

915
00:56:37,680 --> 00:56:41,279
Speaker 1: to be a part of something. And the reason I

916
00:56:41,320 --> 00:56:42,960
Speaker 1: could speak so well to this earn is because I

917
00:56:43,080 --> 00:56:47,680
Speaker 1: just did this two days ago in Sioux Falls, and

918
00:56:47,840 --> 00:56:50,360
Speaker 1: I went in, didn't know a single person there, and

919
00:56:50,400 --> 00:56:52,680
Speaker 1: I actually emailed them before I came and I said, Hey,

920
00:56:53,640 --> 00:56:56,800
Speaker 1: I'm in a traveling band. We're playing and looking for

921
00:56:56,880 --> 00:56:59,839
Speaker 1: a place to come and for worship on Sunday morning.

922
00:56:59,840 --> 00:57:02,160
Speaker 1: And it took them a couple of days, but they

923
00:57:02,200 --> 00:57:04,279
Speaker 1: emailed back and said, great, come meet us at the

924
00:57:04,320 --> 00:57:06,480
Speaker 1: hospitality desk. I would love to say hi. I went

925
00:57:06,560 --> 00:57:09,200
Speaker 1: in it. They couldn't have been nicer. They gave me

926
00:57:09,239 --> 00:57:11,320
Speaker 1: a little gift bag had a coffee mug and a

927
00:57:11,520 --> 00:57:15,400
Speaker 1: journal and a pen and a little booklet. They were

928
00:57:15,480 --> 00:57:17,720
Speaker 1: super nice and man, I went in there and I

929
00:57:18,680 --> 00:57:22,160
Speaker 1: left there with friends, good friends. Actually eight of them

930
00:57:22,240 --> 00:57:24,240
Speaker 1: came to the show that night. I didn't know a

931
00:57:24,320 --> 00:57:27,120
Speaker 1: single person there, but they were great people. It was

932
00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:31,439
Speaker 1: a great community, very uplifting crowd. They came to my show,

933
00:57:31,560 --> 00:57:34,120
Speaker 1: We hung out most of the day. Now have there

934
00:57:34,160 --> 00:57:36,440
Speaker 1: on a text basis with these people. And this just

935
00:57:36,560 --> 00:57:38,880
Speaker 1: happened to me two days ago. This can happen to

936
00:57:38,960 --> 00:57:41,520
Speaker 1: you today, Ernie. As soon as you hear this podcast.

937
00:57:42,920 --> 00:57:45,919
Speaker 1: There's one around you, and I know that feeling stuck,

938
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:49,840
Speaker 1: feels like no one is there, no one cares, but

939
00:57:50,520 --> 00:57:55,480
Speaker 1: they do, they do, and there's people here in your

940
00:57:55,560 --> 00:58:01,000
Speaker 1: town that can help you, And sometimes that means also

941
00:58:02,120 --> 00:58:05,640
Speaker 1: everything Bernie said about community also means sometimes you have

942
00:58:05,760 --> 00:58:09,040
Speaker 1: to drop some of the duds in your life. Yep,

943
00:58:09,240 --> 00:58:11,320
Speaker 1: there might be a you might think you have community,

944
00:58:11,960 --> 00:58:14,360
Speaker 1: but so far that doesn't look like it's leading you

945
00:58:14,440 --> 00:58:16,840
Speaker 1: on a good path. So you might have to drop

946
00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:20,440
Speaker 1: some of these dudes, and you might have to start over.

947
00:58:20,640 --> 00:58:22,040
Speaker 1: You might have to quit the job you're on. It

948
00:58:22,120 --> 00:58:25,120
Speaker 1: doesn't say that where you are working. But maybe that

949
00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:29,160
Speaker 1: church thing also says do you have anyone doing your

950
00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:33,480
Speaker 1: mowing your grass? You know? Could I help around here somewhere?

951
00:58:33,960 --> 00:58:37,080
Speaker 1: There's all kinds of opportunities that come. So Ernie, you

952
00:58:37,200 --> 00:58:40,640
Speaker 1: have a you have a little checklist here that I

953
00:58:40,680 --> 00:58:44,320
Speaker 1: think is so important, visiting a doctor and then finding

954
00:58:44,400 --> 00:58:50,760
Speaker 1: this church there you go all right? Easy? Is that? Yeah?

955
00:58:51,080 --> 00:58:55,959
Speaker 1: See what just solved all your props? Man? I feel

956
00:58:56,000 --> 00:58:58,040
Speaker 1: for you, brother, that's a that's a heartfelt email, and

957
00:58:58,480 --> 00:59:03,760
Speaker 1: thank you for thank you for asking it. I meant

958
00:59:03,960 --> 00:59:06,600
Speaker 1: I meant to go in here and get some lighter questions.

959
00:59:06,680 --> 00:59:11,880
Speaker 1: How much time we got a few minutes? Okay, I

960
00:59:12,040 --> 00:59:14,120
Speaker 1: meant I'm meant to grab some lighter ones, and here

961
00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:19,280
Speaker 1: we are creating this podcast. Here's one right here. Hey Gerr,

962
00:59:19,280 --> 00:59:22,360
Speaker 1: my name is Joe. I'm twelve. I'm from Oregon. I

963
00:59:22,440 --> 00:59:25,480
Speaker 1: love your music, Joe. I'm sorry. Why has Joe got

964
00:59:25,560 --> 00:59:28,160
Speaker 1: an email address? I thought you ha'd be thirteen. That

965
00:59:28,280 --> 00:59:30,560
Speaker 1: makes me scared about the kids? Is that true? I

966
00:59:30,640 --> 00:59:36,360
Speaker 1: thought it was this internet thing. Guys, it's a good thing.

967
00:59:36,520 --> 00:59:40,240
Speaker 1: But it's Gmail. Watch out, it's Gmail. He signed up

968
00:59:40,280 --> 00:59:42,720
Speaker 1: on Gmail? Did he lie about that? I thought it

969
00:59:42,800 --> 00:59:45,800
Speaker 1: was thirteen. Maybe the world's changing. Go ahead. You don't

970
00:59:45,840 --> 00:59:47,400
Speaker 1: have to be an age to get a Gmail. I

971
00:59:47,440 --> 00:59:53,120
Speaker 1: don't think it could be anything. Okay, Yeah, sorry, I said,

972
00:59:53,160 --> 00:59:55,080
Speaker 1: I'm from Oregon. I love your music. Just turt watching

973
00:59:55,080 --> 00:59:58,200
Speaker 1: the Smith? How could I be successful like you? Love? God?

974
00:59:58,600 --> 01:00:00,800
Speaker 1: Have my dream home in the middle of I want

975
01:00:00,840 --> 01:00:03,640
Speaker 1: to live in Texas too. I think I think I

976
01:00:03,760 --> 01:00:06,080
Speaker 1: know the answer to all this. But how do you

977
01:00:06,280 --> 01:00:09,160
Speaker 1: like it there? I'd love a shout out America eee

978
01:00:09,920 --> 01:00:18,640
Speaker 1: signed red Neck Joe. That's a good red Neck Joe. Well,

979
01:00:18,760 --> 01:00:21,240
Speaker 1: he's asking you, how do we how do we have

980
01:00:21,360 --> 01:00:28,040
Speaker 1: it all? Smith? Well, don't don't. Don't pick up and

981
01:00:28,120 --> 01:00:31,920
Speaker 1: leave Oregon because Oregon is an awesome place, man. Texas

982
01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:34,200
Speaker 1: is great. I love it. It's home. Oregon is your home.

983
01:00:34,840 --> 01:00:38,720
Speaker 1: And Oregon is an amazing state, one of the most

984
01:00:38,760 --> 01:00:44,360
Speaker 1: beautiful states in the nation. Incredible mountains and forest and

985
01:00:44,560 --> 01:00:49,800
Speaker 1: wildlife and ocean and shots. Orgon's incredible. So the grass

986
01:00:49,880 --> 01:00:52,160
Speaker 1: is always greener, right, Maybe that's one of the main

987
01:00:52,240 --> 01:00:54,720
Speaker 1: themes here. Grass is always greener. Oh, man, I see

988
01:00:54,720 --> 01:00:56,640
Speaker 1: the Smith's I see you're in Texas. It looks awesome

989
01:00:56,680 --> 01:00:59,360
Speaker 1: in Texas. And I spin around tomorrow and I see

990
01:00:59,600 --> 01:01:03,400
Speaker 1: somebody vlogging in Oregon and I'm like, so green there

991
01:01:03,520 --> 01:01:07,440
Speaker 1: and wildling mountains, and we don't have that in Texas

992
01:01:07,520 --> 01:01:10,000
Speaker 1: when it's not always green in mountains. So grass is

993
01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:12,120
Speaker 1: always green on the other side. And it's even more

994
01:01:12,160 --> 01:01:18,280
Speaker 1: great in Oregon than than it is in Texas. Right, Bernie,

995
01:01:18,320 --> 01:01:21,720
Speaker 1: we've said this before. When you're twelve, man, B twelve,

996
01:01:22,280 --> 01:01:28,880
Speaker 1: B twelve, is that a vitamin B twelve? Enjoy being

997
01:01:29,320 --> 01:01:32,120
Speaker 1: twelve man, Joe. Don't don't get too caught up in

998
01:01:32,600 --> 01:01:37,320
Speaker 1: success your dream home. Don't even think about a dream home, man.

999
01:01:37,760 --> 01:01:40,280
Speaker 1: That is dude, do you think that there's some way

1000
01:01:41,360 --> 01:01:42,920
Speaker 1: And I'm going to try not to take us just

1001
01:01:43,080 --> 01:01:46,160
Speaker 1: like into the deep woods of Oregon. Right now. But

1002
01:01:46,400 --> 01:01:51,160
Speaker 1: like that this age that we live in, because when

1003
01:01:51,240 --> 01:01:55,120
Speaker 1: I was twelve, I was not exposed to the amount

1004
01:01:55,160 --> 01:01:59,600
Speaker 1: of options of what my life could be like that

1005
01:02:00,200 --> 01:02:03,520
Speaker 1: has been exposed to just because because of the era

1006
01:02:03,640 --> 01:02:06,160
Speaker 1: that we live in. It's a good point. And because

1007
01:02:06,240 --> 01:02:11,360
Speaker 1: of that, like this generation, starting with millennials gen Z,

1008
01:02:12,440 --> 01:02:18,440
Speaker 1: the amount of anxiety, depression, suicide has gone up. Do

1009
01:02:18,600 --> 01:02:21,280
Speaker 1: you think that there's correlation of like a twelve year

1010
01:02:21,280 --> 01:02:23,080
Speaker 1: old asking us, how do I get all of this

1011
01:02:23,160 --> 01:02:25,640
Speaker 1: stuff that I've seen? I didn't think about that. I

1012
01:02:25,640 --> 01:02:28,680
Speaker 1: didn't think about that. But he's so he's going to

1013
01:02:28,720 --> 01:02:32,720
Speaker 1: spend his whole life with all of these options and

1014
01:02:32,760 --> 01:02:34,280
Speaker 1: think like how do I get that? How do I

1015
01:02:34,360 --> 01:02:38,680
Speaker 1: get that? And I'm just I'm pulling it back to

1016
01:02:38,840 --> 01:02:42,760
Speaker 1: like the sermon at our church on Sunday where the

1017
01:02:42,800 --> 01:02:47,960
Speaker 1: pastor talked about God creating Adam and Eve. There was

1018
01:02:48,040 --> 01:02:51,320
Speaker 1: no options. That was it. That covenant was like, Hey,

1019
01:02:51,480 --> 01:02:54,200
Speaker 1: this is it. But now it's like we look around

1020
01:02:54,240 --> 01:02:58,880
Speaker 1: and we're like, we gotta see of options. They say

1021
01:02:59,200 --> 01:03:02,520
Speaker 1: in the candy store. Well, our candy store nowadays is huge.

1022
01:03:03,440 --> 01:03:07,560
Speaker 1: It's endless aisles of candy, and where do you even start,

1023
01:03:07,680 --> 01:03:10,360
Speaker 1: it's like going into Walmart. Nothing but candies and Walmart,

1024
01:03:10,720 --> 01:03:13,240
Speaker 1: where do you go? And that's that's what Maybe that's

1025
01:03:13,240 --> 01:03:15,440
Speaker 1: what Joe sees. Maybe that's what the internet is and

1026
01:03:16,240 --> 01:03:18,200
Speaker 1: when reality me and you look at it and go, dude,

1027
01:03:18,280 --> 01:03:22,000
Speaker 1: Oregan is an awesome place to live. Yeah, so Joe,

1028
01:03:22,040 --> 01:03:25,240
Speaker 1: here's what Redneck Joe. And this is a maybe we'll

1029
01:03:25,320 --> 01:03:29,840
Speaker 1: just end like this, like just be present. Yes, your

1030
01:03:30,200 --> 01:03:35,440
Speaker 1: entire life, whatever life gives you, have gratitude and be

1031
01:03:35,920 --> 01:03:41,960
Speaker 1: in the present moment. Just give yourself to the people

1032
01:03:42,560 --> 01:03:45,520
Speaker 1: and the things that are in front of you. Love

1033
01:03:45,600 --> 01:03:48,560
Speaker 1: it and don't look around. Don't look around. Just keep

1034
01:03:48,600 --> 01:03:51,640
Speaker 1: your head right here. So good with the people you got,

1035
01:03:53,240 --> 01:03:56,800
Speaker 1: love your Redneck Joe. Yeah, you're coming to the next

1036
01:03:56,880 --> 01:04:02,200
Speaker 1: ye day with the parents, but bring in. We'll see

1037
01:04:02,200 --> 01:04:05,080
Speaker 1: you guys. That's it. We got bye y'all. Thanks for

1038
01:04:05,160 --> 01:04:08,160
Speaker 1: joining me on the Granger Smith podcast. I appreciate all

1039
01:04:08,240 --> 01:04:10,360
Speaker 1: of you guys. You could help me out by rating

1040
01:04:10,400 --> 01:04:13,960
Speaker 1: this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to

1041
01:04:14,080 --> 01:04:17,280
Speaker 1: this channel. Hit that little like button and the notification

1042
01:04:17,440 --> 01:04:21,280
Speaker 1: spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video.

1043
01:04:21,640 --> 01:04:23,240
Speaker 1: If you have a question for me, that you would

1044
01:04:23,280 --> 01:04:28,320
Speaker 1: like me to answer. Email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com,

1045
01:04:29,160 --> 01:04:29,440
Speaker 1: Yigi