1 00:00:00,840 --> 00:00:03,240 Speaker 1: You're listening to the I Heart Radio and Coast to Coast, 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:06,680 Speaker 1: a paranormal podcast network where we offer you podcasts of 3 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:10,560 Speaker 1: the supernatural and the unexplained. Getting ready now for Shades 4 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:22,279 Speaker 1: of the Afterlife with Sandra Schamplain. Welcome to our podcast. 5 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:25,960 Speaker 1: Please be aware of the thoughts and opinions expressed by 6 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:29,320 Speaker 1: the host are their thoughts and opinions only and do 7 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:32,800 Speaker 1: not reflect those of I Heart Media, I Heart Radio, 8 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:37,360 Speaker 1: Coast to Coast, am employees of Premier Networks, or their 9 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:41,040 Speaker 1: sponsors and associates. We would like to encourage you to 10 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:52,800 Speaker 1: do your own research and discover the subject matter for yourself. Hi. 11 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:57,160 Speaker 1: I'm Sandra Schamplain. For almost twenty five years, I've been 12 00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:00,720 Speaker 1: on a journey to prove the existence of life after death. 13 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:04,479 Speaker 1: On each episode will discuss the reasons we now know 14 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:08,880 Speaker 1: that our loved ones have survived physical death, and so 15 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:14,080 Speaker 1: will we. Welcome to Shades of the Afterlife. Tim McGraw's 16 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:17,520 Speaker 1: famous song Live Like You Were Dying talks about a 17 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:20,720 Speaker 1: man faced with an illness and he goes all out 18 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:23,039 Speaker 1: to do what he wants to do before he dies. 19 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:26,559 Speaker 1: The message in the song is to live full out now, 20 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:31,360 Speaker 1: love deeper and speak sweeter. It's hard for us to 21 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:34,479 Speaker 1: get a handle on our mortality. But when we know 22 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:38,080 Speaker 1: that this life isn't the end for us, I know 23 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:41,280 Speaker 1: we can live a fuller life. The Buddhists have a 24 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:46,520 Speaker 1: meditation called Miranda Zati where they contemplate their lives and 25 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:50,240 Speaker 1: their death, and as a result, they live with respect 26 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:54,240 Speaker 1: for their lives and a sense of urgency to live fully. 27 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:58,200 Speaker 1: Another practice that helps us live our lives more fully 28 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:01,520 Speaker 1: is to take care of the things we've left undone 29 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:04,280 Speaker 1: in our lives. And you don't need to wait till 30 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:06,800 Speaker 1: New Year's to do this. You make a list of 31 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:10,840 Speaker 1: all the things you've been putting off and been procrastinating about, 32 00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:15,200 Speaker 1: and things you say someday you'd like to do. Review 33 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:18,640 Speaker 1: the list and be honest with yourself and cross off 34 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:21,160 Speaker 1: the things that in your heart you know you'll never 35 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:25,119 Speaker 1: get to or they're unimportant to you now. But pick 36 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:28,120 Speaker 1: the top three and put them on your calendar. Do 37 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:32,480 Speaker 1: a little bit every day and remembering our goals can 38 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:35,680 Speaker 1: have us get there today. I want to introduce you 39 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:39,240 Speaker 1: to Jane Duncan Rogers, who is the founder of Before 40 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:44,000 Speaker 1: I Go Solutions and not for profit organization dedicated to 41 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:48,440 Speaker 1: helping people to live well by preparing for what's needed 42 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:52,320 Speaker 1: when we take that final adventure in our lives. You 43 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:56,120 Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about. The afterlife is reality, but 44 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:59,480 Speaker 1: like going on any trip, like a vacation, there are 45 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:02,240 Speaker 1: things we need to do to get organized before we go. 46 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:06,240 Speaker 1: This is not a conversation to fear, but instead something 47 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:10,239 Speaker 1: to embrace, because your life will be a whole lot 48 00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:13,440 Speaker 1: richer when you have a plan. Jane has been in 49 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:16,600 Speaker 1: the field of psychotherapy and personal growth for more than 50 00:03:16,639 --> 00:03:20,359 Speaker 1: twenty five years. She's the author of the book Gifted 51 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:24,240 Speaker 1: by Grief, a true story of cancer, loss and rebirth, 52 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:28,600 Speaker 1: and her latest book is Before I Go, The Essential 53 00:03:28,639 --> 00:03:32,240 Speaker 1: Guide to creating a good end of Life Plan. Her 54 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:37,120 Speaker 1: website is Before I Go solutions dot com. Jane, welcome. 55 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:39,800 Speaker 1: Thank you so much. It's a pleasure to be here, 56 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,840 Speaker 1: and it's a real pleasure to have you here today. Jane, 57 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:47,960 Speaker 1: will you tell us your story? Okay, Well, I was 58 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,280 Speaker 1: fifty three, I think when out of the blue my 59 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:57,520 Speaker 1: husband got diagnosed with stomach cancer. There was no reason 60 00:03:57,560 --> 00:04:00,640 Speaker 1: for us to suspect that that might happen, so it 61 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:03,400 Speaker 1: was like it just sort of you know, literally did 62 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:06,960 Speaker 1: come out of the blue, and that was the beginning 63 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:12,240 Speaker 1: of a whole lot of changes. He You know, sometimes 64 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:15,000 Speaker 1: you hear about people talking about the last year with 65 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:18,200 Speaker 1: someone as being the best that they had. Well, of 66 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:21,599 Speaker 1: course there's truth in that, because, like you said, when 67 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:24,680 Speaker 1: you're talking about death, actually it focused you to focus 68 00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:26,440 Speaker 1: on life, and that, of course is what we did 69 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,599 Speaker 1: in that what turned out to be the last year. 70 00:04:29,279 --> 00:04:33,480 Speaker 1: Because he died about a year later. I always knew 71 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:36,280 Speaker 1: that I would write about it because at the time 72 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,960 Speaker 1: I was a coach and I had a regular blog 73 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:41,600 Speaker 1: and I love writing, so I knew that I was 74 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:46,240 Speaker 1: need to write about this momentous thing that had happened. 75 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:50,359 Speaker 1: In fact, it was him dying was one of my 76 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,920 Speaker 1: greatest fears. We had not had children, and the thought 77 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:55,360 Speaker 1: of him dying and me still being around for quite 78 00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:57,640 Speaker 1: a long time was really scary. I thought I would 79 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:02,120 Speaker 1: be all alone in the world. Anyway, um, it did happen, 80 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:08,040 Speaker 1: and I wrote I published Gifted by Grief. I started 81 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:11,400 Speaker 1: writing about two years after he died and then, and 82 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:14,080 Speaker 1: that in itself was quite interesting because I just I 83 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:17,680 Speaker 1: knew that I had to wait until I knew. If 84 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:19,680 Speaker 1: you like that I had to write about it. So 85 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:21,040 Speaker 1: I knew that I knew I was going to write 86 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:25,159 Speaker 1: about it in theory, but in practice. Literally, I woke 87 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:28,400 Speaker 1: one morning and I just knew I had to start writing. 88 00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:31,200 Speaker 1: And that's what happened. And the following year it was 89 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:35,560 Speaker 1: published Gifted by Grief, and that covers our last year 90 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,280 Speaker 1: together and the first year of my grief, and then 91 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:42,640 Speaker 1: what happened as a result of that. I thought that 92 00:05:42,839 --> 00:05:46,240 Speaker 1: readers would love, you know, the spiritual learnings and all 93 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:49,039 Speaker 1: this kind of stuff in the book, but actually what 94 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:52,359 Speaker 1: they really liked and asked about was the chapter where 95 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:54,880 Speaker 1: I had written about the questions that I'd asked my 96 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:58,719 Speaker 1: husband before he died. Now, the thing is, when you 97 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:00,760 Speaker 1: were with someone who's dying, you don't know when they're 98 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,400 Speaker 1: actually going to die. So I'm saying this happened about 99 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,120 Speaker 1: four months before he died, but of course at the 100 00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:08,000 Speaker 1: time we didn't know that. We had received an email 101 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:12,520 Speaker 1: from a friend saying, you must get Philip to answer 102 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,680 Speaker 1: all these questions, and there was quite a lot of them, 103 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:18,279 Speaker 1: and they were all practical, like what kind of coffin 104 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:20,360 Speaker 1: do you want, how do you want your body to 105 00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:24,719 Speaker 1: be dressed? What are your passwords. That kind of stuff 106 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:28,160 Speaker 1: really practical, and neither of us wanted to do it. 107 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:32,280 Speaker 1: And it took three emails from her before actually I 108 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:35,560 Speaker 1: got my aunt together, and together we sat down and 109 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:39,400 Speaker 1: we did address these questions. And simply I asked him 110 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,400 Speaker 1: the questions and he gave me the answers and I 111 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:46,440 Speaker 1: typed them in and they were really helpful after he 112 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:49,080 Speaker 1: had died, really helpful to me. And when I wrote 113 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:51,760 Speaker 1: about this in Gifted by Grief, lots of other people 114 00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:54,920 Speaker 1: identified with that and and and said to me, I 115 00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:58,640 Speaker 1: need to answer these questions too. Really, that was the 116 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:00,960 Speaker 1: beginning in a way I didn't know then it was 117 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:04,080 Speaker 1: the beginning of what has now happened. But you know, 118 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:07,720 Speaker 1: I had a background in running workshops and leading personal 119 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:10,320 Speaker 1: growth work, so I knew what to do in terms 120 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,680 Speaker 1: of setting up a workshop, which is what I did. 121 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:16,000 Speaker 1: I researched a little bit more on the questions and 122 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:21,440 Speaker 1: produced just a you know, a few pages of a 123 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:25,520 Speaker 1: four staple together as a workbook. We called it The 124 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:27,720 Speaker 1: Good Death Guide. I think that's how I learned that 125 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:32,080 Speaker 1: using that word wasn't quite ideal. People didn't like it, 126 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:35,120 Speaker 1: at least not in the North of Scotland, but we 127 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:37,760 Speaker 1: didn't do We did do a workshop which sold out 128 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:39,360 Speaker 1: and then and there was a waiting list as well. 129 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:41,520 Speaker 1: So I knew that there was something important here and 130 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,280 Speaker 1: this stage I felt like life was showing me the 131 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:47,040 Speaker 1: way and I just had to follow. Well, and what 132 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:51,200 Speaker 1: a gift it is, because I talked to a heart 133 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:55,640 Speaker 1: surgeon and he said, just before somebody goes under the anesthesia, 134 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,400 Speaker 1: they're looking back on their life and all the things 135 00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:01,640 Speaker 1: they did or didn't do, should have done, and there's 136 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:07,880 Speaker 1: all that unfinished business that normally comes up. And what 137 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:12,400 Speaker 1: would it be like to live life with all those 138 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:15,400 Speaker 1: questions answered that are on your quiz and have all 139 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:19,280 Speaker 1: those things get done? Yeah, that's right. It's like, you know, 140 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,320 Speaker 1: this is one of those subjects that people don't want 141 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:25,200 Speaker 1: to look at, which is understandable. I didn't either, But 142 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:31,239 Speaker 1: once you do, first of all, admit that yes, I agree. 143 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:33,840 Speaker 1: For example, I completely agree with you that we don't die, 144 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:38,640 Speaker 1: and yet we also have a body that does get uninhabited, 145 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:41,600 Speaker 1: and then there are remains that have to be taken 146 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:45,040 Speaker 1: care of. And that's just at the physical level. You 147 00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:47,319 Speaker 1: know that when I say the remains is of the 148 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:49,760 Speaker 1: remains of the body, but there's the remains of a 149 00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:52,079 Speaker 1: life that has been lived on earth, and that can 150 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 1: be quite a complex bundle of stuff if for your 151 00:08:57,160 --> 00:09:01,080 Speaker 1: relatives or your friends to take care of if you 152 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:06,040 Speaker 1: haven't taken action right now. That's usually what I tell people, 153 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:10,120 Speaker 1: and everybody goes nose their head and says, yes, that's 154 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:12,320 Speaker 1: a really good idea, must do something about it, and 155 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:15,600 Speaker 1: then they don't do anything about it. And so that's 156 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:19,120 Speaker 1: really why the work that I do is helping people 157 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:23,040 Speaker 1: to actually take action now before it's too late. Yeah, 158 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:27,199 Speaker 1: I think it's really great. I mean, I know from grief, 159 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:33,000 Speaker 1: regardless of what we believe in the afterlife, it's devastating 160 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,679 Speaker 1: to us. We go on an emotional roller coaster. It's 161 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:38,560 Speaker 1: to me the worst pain I've ever felt. But now 162 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:43,920 Speaker 1: I really do have this image of checking out of 163 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:47,640 Speaker 1: a hotel. I check the closet, I check under the bed, 164 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:53,559 Speaker 1: I check you know, the bathroom, make sure I've got 165 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:59,120 Speaker 1: everything handled so I can move forward in the next journey. 166 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:02,960 Speaker 1: And if we would look at end of our life 167 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:06,240 Speaker 1: here as simple as I mean, there might be more 168 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:08,599 Speaker 1: things to do that that's just a short stay in 169 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:11,959 Speaker 1: a hotel. But what do we need to do so 170 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:15,160 Speaker 1: that we're free, because nothing's worse than saying, oh, did 171 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:17,440 Speaker 1: I leave this? Did I leave this? Did I leave this? 172 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:21,000 Speaker 1: But once I really check, I know my mind is free. 173 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:24,360 Speaker 1: I would think there'd be more freedom in life that 174 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:29,280 Speaker 1: we've handled all of these particles. Yeah, you're absolutely right, 175 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:32,800 Speaker 1: there is. And because it's like you know, when you 176 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:35,640 Speaker 1: know that something needs doing, even if it's a low level, 177 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:39,680 Speaker 1: you know, low level in the background, it's sacks energy 178 00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:42,920 Speaker 1: from you. You don't realize that until you've taken care 179 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,280 Speaker 1: of whatever it is. Then you don't have to think 180 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:48,000 Speaker 1: about it anymore because it's done. It doesn't come up 181 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:51,199 Speaker 1: as a magging thought or even some guilt, but you're 182 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:54,720 Speaker 1: not doing anything about it. So therefore you have more 183 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:57,480 Speaker 1: space to be able to devote to being here right now. 184 00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:01,680 Speaker 1: You know, that's really important because if you know one thing, 185 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:04,560 Speaker 1: you know, especially if you have suffered the loss of 186 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:08,880 Speaker 1: someone dear to you, then you realize just how important 187 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:14,160 Speaker 1: the simple matter of life is. You know, when we're alive, 188 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:17,160 Speaker 1: we really want to be fully alive and not thinking 189 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:20,079 Speaker 1: about the past or worrying about the future, or wondering 190 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:21,840 Speaker 1: if we should have done that. Or we should have 191 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,840 Speaker 1: done this a bit like your hotel anology. I love that, 192 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:28,840 Speaker 1: by the way, and it's absolutely right. It's like, you know, 193 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:31,840 Speaker 1: we've just once we've taken care of these things and 194 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,160 Speaker 1: in in what I'm calling a good end of life plan, 195 00:11:34,559 --> 00:11:38,960 Speaker 1: then actually we are free to more fully live. Yeah, 196 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,839 Speaker 1: that's wonderful. Should we go through your quiz? I don't 197 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:45,160 Speaker 1: know where we should start here. Well, your quiz is 198 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:50,040 Speaker 1: pretty great. I'm glad to hear it is. The quiz. 199 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:54,040 Speaker 1: It's just a few of the questions from what has 200 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:56,400 Speaker 1: now become what I call the Before I Go work book, 201 00:11:56,559 --> 00:12:00,000 Speaker 1: which had its origination in those questions that I asked 202 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:02,480 Speaker 1: my husband. But when I realized, you know that that 203 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:04,520 Speaker 1: people wanted this, I thought, well, I need to do 204 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,000 Speaker 1: a little bit more research about this, and so there's 205 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:10,920 Speaker 1: been several iterations over the years, and and the quiz 206 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:15,640 Speaker 1: now is taking a few questions from the existing workbook 207 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:18,520 Speaker 1: to give you an idea. And it's really simple. Well, 208 00:12:18,559 --> 00:12:21,600 Speaker 1: you know you've done it. It is a really simple quiz. Basically, 209 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:24,440 Speaker 1: the questions are yes or no, and the more that 210 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:27,560 Speaker 1: you have no answers to, the more there are things 211 00:12:27,559 --> 00:12:29,360 Speaker 1: that you need to be done. So were there any 212 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:32,280 Speaker 1: in particular that you were interested in any of these questions? Well, 213 00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:35,040 Speaker 1: it's interesting because I'm looking on your website now to 214 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:37,040 Speaker 1: try to find the quiz because it's going to drop 215 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:40,040 Speaker 1: my memory. There was one something about do you have 216 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:43,360 Speaker 1: anything you don't want anybody to know about? Yes? Yes, yes, 217 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:45,800 Speaker 1: it's the last one, and it actually says, have you 218 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:48,880 Speaker 1: destroyed any private papers or documents that you'd rather were 219 00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:52,520 Speaker 1: not seen by anyone? That's it? Well, you know, the 220 00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:55,080 Speaker 1: other day I was giving a talk here locally and 221 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:58,559 Speaker 1: I said to them, now, does anybody have any secrets 222 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:01,480 Speaker 1: that they would rather somebody else in the family didn't 223 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,839 Speaker 1: know about? Jane, we have to take a quick break, 224 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:06,800 Speaker 1: but I can't wait to hear you're listening to Shades 225 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:09,520 Speaker 1: of the Afterlife on the I Heart Radio and Coast 226 00:13:09,559 --> 00:13:19,199 Speaker 1: to Coast AM Paranormal podcast network. Okay, folks, we need 227 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,800 Speaker 1: your music. Hey, it's producer Tom at Coast to Coast 228 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:24,400 Speaker 1: AM and every first Sunday of the month, we play 229 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:27,160 Speaker 1: music from emerging artists just like you. If you're a 230 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:30,000 Speaker 1: musician or a singer and have recorded music you'd like 231 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,600 Speaker 1: to submit, it's very easy. Just go to Coast to 232 00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:35,480 Speaker 1: Coast a m dot com. Click the emerging artist banner 233 00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:38,559 Speaker 1: in the carousel, follow the instructions, and we just might 234 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:41,240 Speaker 1: play your music on the air. Go now to Coast 235 00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:43,640 Speaker 1: to Coast am dot com to send us your recording. 236 00:13:43,880 --> 00:14:02,560 Speaker 1: That's Coast to Coast am dot com. Happy New Year 237 00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:05,400 Speaker 1: from your friends here at I Heart Radio and Coast 238 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:33,320 Speaker 1: to Coast AM. Welcome back to Shades of the Afterlife. 239 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:36,960 Speaker 1: I'm Sanders Champlain and we're with Jane Rogers from Before 240 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:40,840 Speaker 1: I Go Solutions. Jane remind us of that question that 241 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:44,880 Speaker 1: you ask people about secrets. Does anybody have any secrets 242 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:47,800 Speaker 1: that they would rather somebody else in the family didn't 243 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:51,360 Speaker 1: know about? And the whole room burst into laughter. It 244 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:54,600 Speaker 1: was very funny. It was clear that you know, that 245 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:58,280 Speaker 1: question is something that people don't usually think about. But 246 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:03,480 Speaker 1: the thing is, this is really important because I mean, 247 00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:06,840 Speaker 1: for example, I worked with a client a couple of 248 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:09,520 Speaker 1: years ago who was in the lot of the end 249 00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:13,320 Speaker 1: stages of cancer. She was still relatively okay, she had 250 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:14,960 Speaker 1: got her work book, she was on one of my 251 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:18,320 Speaker 1: first courses. She had actually done quite a lot, but 252 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,040 Speaker 1: she was on the course to find out what else 253 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:21,960 Speaker 1: it was to do. And there were two things actually 254 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,120 Speaker 1: that she discovered. She had forgotten to think about who 255 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:27,280 Speaker 1: might look after her pet. But the second one was 256 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:31,600 Speaker 1: that she hadn't considered her twenty years worth of journals. 257 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:35,320 Speaker 1: Now in her journal she had written her heart. You know, 258 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:39,119 Speaker 1: she poured out everything and was quite a lot apparently 259 00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:41,600 Speaker 1: of things that would have been damaging to her family, 260 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:45,080 Speaker 1: that were simply her way of getting rid of the 261 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:49,080 Speaker 1: emotions at the time. But being aware of this, she decided, right, 262 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:51,200 Speaker 1: I need to get rid of this, and so she 263 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:53,600 Speaker 1: had a big bonfire. Now that was another thing that 264 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:56,080 Speaker 1: helped her to feel free. It was another way that 265 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:59,280 Speaker 1: she was taken care of the ending of her life 266 00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:02,800 Speaker 1: in this body at this time. The main thing about 267 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:05,880 Speaker 1: that question is that you make a conscious choice as 268 00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:08,600 Speaker 1: a result of considering it, and most people don't even 269 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,200 Speaker 1: consider it because it doesn't come into their mind. You know, 270 00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:14,440 Speaker 1: there's no right or wrong answers to this is just 271 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:18,000 Speaker 1: what is it feels right for the individual person. So 272 00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:20,400 Speaker 1: for some people it would be important that all that 273 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:25,000 Speaker 1: kind of stuff was kept um and maybe then they 274 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:28,520 Speaker 1: would talk about it beforehand to their children or two. 275 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:30,960 Speaker 1: Whoever it is that is relevant and say, you know, 276 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:34,240 Speaker 1: I'm leaving these because there's some wonderful stuff in there, 277 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,640 Speaker 1: but there's also some stuff that you just you know, 278 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:41,080 Speaker 1: understand that this was just me releasing my emotions at 279 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:43,880 Speaker 1: the time. You don't need to take it seriously something 280 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,800 Speaker 1: like that. And there's some obvious questions that are do 281 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:49,479 Speaker 1: have a will? Have you got a power of attorney? 282 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,960 Speaker 1: You want to speak of the importance of those I will, 283 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,880 Speaker 1: And if people are anything like me, they think about 284 00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:58,240 Speaker 1: the word will or lawyer, and their hearts sinks and 285 00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:00,640 Speaker 1: they think about how much it's going to cost you well, 286 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:03,440 Speaker 1: and of course that gets in the way. But the 287 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:06,800 Speaker 1: fact is it is important to have a will, because 288 00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:10,240 Speaker 1: even if you think you don't have very much, the 289 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:14,080 Speaker 1: whole process of dealing with the end of life becomes 290 00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:16,679 Speaker 1: longer and drawn out simply because you don't have the 291 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:21,480 Speaker 1: documentation in place. Sometimes for some people they can do 292 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:26,240 Speaker 1: a will themselves. I'm hesitant here because the difficulty with 293 00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:28,520 Speaker 1: the legal stuff is that you don't know what you 294 00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:31,560 Speaker 1: don't know right here too, in the US, I think 295 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:36,520 Speaker 1: it's probably everywhere exactly, so on balance, it's better I 296 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:39,840 Speaker 1: always advise people to see a lawyer. Often there are 297 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:44,760 Speaker 1: charities who will offer a free willmaking service and they 298 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:48,200 Speaker 1: ask you to consider making a donation to them, So 299 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:51,119 Speaker 1: that's one way around it if money is a problem. 300 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:55,479 Speaker 1: These days, also there are some free will making sites 301 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:58,760 Speaker 1: that if you have fairly simple affairs, you can do 302 00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:02,359 Speaker 1: that online and you can you can get a will 303 00:18:02,359 --> 00:18:04,840 Speaker 1: that way, and it doesn't have to cost anything, but 304 00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:07,439 Speaker 1: it does depend on your individual circumstances. And if you 305 00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:12,159 Speaker 1: have anything less than very very simple affairs, i. You 306 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:14,240 Speaker 1: don't own anything and there's only one person you're going 307 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:17,440 Speaker 1: to leave everything too, then it's definitely a good idea 308 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:21,280 Speaker 1: to get a lawyer. The power of attorney, that's another 309 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:24,119 Speaker 1: one that people are not too keen on. But the 310 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:28,280 Speaker 1: power of attorney is the person who would be responsible 311 00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:31,040 Speaker 1: for your finances. That's your financial power of attorney if 312 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:35,760 Speaker 1: you are incapacitated in any way, or for your health, 313 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:39,040 Speaker 1: a welfare power of attorney if you can't make decisions 314 00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:43,080 Speaker 1: about your health. So the reason that this is more 315 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:46,560 Speaker 1: important these days is because there's more of us who 316 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:50,560 Speaker 1: are living longer but not necessarily in good health. So 317 00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:55,560 Speaker 1: there's and this effects our ability to be in charge 318 00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:58,720 Speaker 1: of our own lives. Let's say, so, power of attorney 319 00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:00,760 Speaker 1: really is a form of insurance. So I think you know, 320 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:04,880 Speaker 1: of course, we hope that you're not going to be 321 00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:08,320 Speaker 1: incapacitated before you die, and they you wouldn't ever have 322 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:11,080 Speaker 1: to use them. But we don't know. We just don't know. 323 00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:16,399 Speaker 1: What about living will? Yeah, living will? Lots of people 324 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:18,720 Speaker 1: recognize it as a living will, but more often these 325 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:21,679 Speaker 1: days it would be called an advanced health care directive, 326 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:25,159 Speaker 1: or in England it's called an advanced decision or an 327 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,880 Speaker 1: advanced directive. That's what we call it here. It's basically 328 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:32,760 Speaker 1: a statement that you make which dictates the treatment that 329 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:36,080 Speaker 1: you do not want to receive as you are approaching 330 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,760 Speaker 1: the end of your life. I'm saying that it's the 331 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:41,360 Speaker 1: treatment you don't want to receive. Now, this is important 332 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:47,159 Speaker 1: because our medical profession are trained to keep us alive 333 00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:49,880 Speaker 1: and to do whatever it is necessary to do that, 334 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,159 Speaker 1: which is fair enough, that's what they're trained to do. 335 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:56,280 Speaker 1: If you are in a situation where you would rather 336 00:19:56,359 --> 00:19:59,240 Speaker 1: not be kept alive, where you would be being kept 337 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:03,480 Speaker 1: alive by ARTI facial means, say, then some people feel 338 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:06,760 Speaker 1: strongly enough to want to have that written down and 339 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:11,560 Speaker 1: made a legal document. Of and communicated to the relevant 340 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:16,520 Speaker 1: people so that you are upping your chances of that 341 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,199 Speaker 1: your instructions being followed should you not be able to 342 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:24,160 Speaker 1: speak for yourself? Who being clear enough here, Yeah, it's 343 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:26,960 Speaker 1: a particularly difficult one to do this. In fact, I 344 00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:29,840 Speaker 1: just finished a module on it, and it does take 345 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:32,800 Speaker 1: a bit of time because we have to imagine what 346 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,280 Speaker 1: we don't want to imagine, which is that we can't 347 00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:38,840 Speaker 1: even imagine, which is that we you know, would be 348 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:43,840 Speaker 1: still alive, but maybe incapacitated in some way, not able 349 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:47,639 Speaker 1: to speak or not able to move, or to not 350 00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:50,320 Speaker 1: be able to make our wishes known in some way, 351 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,679 Speaker 1: and that's not nice and nobody wants to do that, 352 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,960 Speaker 1: let's face it, all right. I was with my dad 353 00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:59,240 Speaker 1: going through all those kind of questions and it was 354 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:04,320 Speaker 1: so hard to do. Yeah, And I can't help but 355 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:07,280 Speaker 1: think if we could try to pull ourselves out of 356 00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:09,639 Speaker 1: the equation and just like we're doing it for a friend, 357 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:15,480 Speaker 1: someone we care about but not as emotionally attached. And 358 00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:17,800 Speaker 1: I think so many of us have been in the 359 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:22,320 Speaker 1: left behind group and we've had to deal with all 360 00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:26,800 Speaker 1: these loose ends. Yeah, and it's difficult, especially like I said, 361 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:29,679 Speaker 1: when we're in that state of grief. It's absolutely the 362 00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:32,040 Speaker 1: last thing you want to deal with, and it can 363 00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:34,720 Speaker 1: take a good many years, that I've found, for that 364 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:38,280 Speaker 1: heavy fog of grief to be released, and so to 365 00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:42,480 Speaker 1: have things being taken care of already. I could just 366 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:46,200 Speaker 1: imagine how good that would be. You know, with my husband, 367 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:48,760 Speaker 1: some of some of this we had taken care of, 368 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:50,800 Speaker 1: but I didn't know anything of a list at the 369 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:53,840 Speaker 1: moment at that time, so I was just addressing these 370 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,000 Speaker 1: questions that my friends sent me in the email, and 371 00:21:56,040 --> 00:22:00,240 Speaker 1: that didn't cover everything I discovered. And but last year 372 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:04,000 Speaker 1: both my parents died, and they had been great students 373 00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:05,600 Speaker 1: of mine, you know, they thought the work that I 374 00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,040 Speaker 1: was doing was great, and they had done their end 375 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:09,960 Speaker 1: of life plans. They had got to work book each 376 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:13,880 Speaker 1: and they completed it. We've done it together, so we 377 00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:16,920 Speaker 1: me and my two brothers and sisters, we all knew 378 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:22,200 Speaker 1: what they wanted. And so when they died, which was suddenly, 379 00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:24,880 Speaker 1: of course, we were all grieving and it was a horrible, 380 00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:28,040 Speaker 1: shocking time. But the thing that we didn't have to 381 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,720 Speaker 1: do was try and make decisions, because all we had 382 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:33,000 Speaker 1: to do was go to their work book where they 383 00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:37,120 Speaker 1: had listed everything that they wanted, and that was really helpful, 384 00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:42,040 Speaker 1: really helpful, because when somebody dies, and you probably know this, 385 00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:46,040 Speaker 1: part of the process, the ritual of saying goodbye to 386 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:50,040 Speaker 1: them is being is knowing that you're you're giving them 387 00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:53,800 Speaker 1: what they said when they were allying, well, what they 388 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:59,080 Speaker 1: said they wanted. That's actually very soothing, very comforting. And 389 00:22:59,119 --> 00:23:01,400 Speaker 1: if you can't do that, you've got the stress of wondering, 390 00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:05,359 Speaker 1: you know, would this be what they want? And I 391 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:07,879 Speaker 1: know maybe to some people that doesn't sound much, but 392 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:12,120 Speaker 1: I tell you, when you're grieving, things are different, things 393 00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:14,600 Speaker 1: are very different. And first of all, I'm sorry for 394 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:16,600 Speaker 1: the last of your parents. As much as I know 395 00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:20,280 Speaker 1: we go on, it's really tough. So the fact that 396 00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:23,440 Speaker 1: your husband and your mom and dad, my heart goes 397 00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:26,960 Speaker 1: out to you and your family. Thank you, thank you. 398 00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:30,040 Speaker 1: The good news is because you've had the work that 399 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:34,600 Speaker 1: created you could see firsthand what a gift it is 400 00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:37,200 Speaker 1: to have it complete. And I'm sure you have more 401 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:40,080 Speaker 1: wind beneath your wings to share this because you know 402 00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:45,320 Speaker 1: of the difference. Yeah, And almost immediately something happened that 403 00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:48,120 Speaker 1: I was able to share an affect quite a lot 404 00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:51,200 Speaker 1: of people, and I know that I know because of 405 00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:53,320 Speaker 1: the conversations we have with my mom and dad that 406 00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:57,800 Speaker 1: they would have laughed at this. Probably in the year previous, 407 00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:00,439 Speaker 1: my mom had met a funeral director her and she 408 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:04,280 Speaker 1: had chosen a coffin that was cardboard, but it was 409 00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:07,240 Speaker 1: covered in um like wild flowers, you know, they're like 410 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:11,040 Speaker 1: a wild flower meadow. And my dad had been almost 411 00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:15,120 Speaker 1: the opposite. He just wanted a plane cardboard one, and 412 00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:18,480 Speaker 1: so we knew that that's what they wanted. And um. 413 00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:22,239 Speaker 1: As it turned out, my dad had my mom and dad, 414 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:25,879 Speaker 1: they both died in the same week unexpectedly, and I 415 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:28,600 Speaker 1: know it was really shocking. But and what happened was 416 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:33,119 Speaker 1: we had a joint funeral, so we had both the 417 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:37,719 Speaker 1: coffins next to each other in the crematorium and I 418 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:41,399 Speaker 1: took a photo because they looked so beautiful, and I 419 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:46,040 Speaker 1: put it on Facebook to let people see how beautiful 420 00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:49,320 Speaker 1: they were. You know that even in this awful situation, 421 00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:54,520 Speaker 1: there could be some beauty. And so many people commented 422 00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:58,840 Speaker 1: on the particularly the coffin with the flowers on. People 423 00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:03,159 Speaker 1: didn't know that that's posible, you know, even just a 424 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,240 Speaker 1: couple of weeks or whatever it was after my mom 425 00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:07,919 Speaker 1: had died, she was already making a difference in the 426 00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:10,760 Speaker 1: world simply by the fact that she had planned and 427 00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:13,560 Speaker 1: chosen her coffin earlier on when she had been well. 428 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:18,480 Speaker 1: I was very touched by that. It's such a simple thing. 429 00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:22,760 Speaker 1: And yeah, I applaud your mom for doing that. Even 430 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:26,159 Speaker 1: my dad, like your dad, my dad was just whatever 431 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:28,399 Speaker 1: is the cheapest, he says, at least a sense of 432 00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:34,639 Speaker 1: nothing fancy. Yes, exactly. I'd rather you kids have the money, 433 00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:38,520 Speaker 1: he said, then give it to a funeral parlor. Yeah. Well, 434 00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:41,240 Speaker 1: even knowing that piece of information you see is really 435 00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:43,879 Speaker 1: helpful because we don't want to look at this subject. 436 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:48,080 Speaker 1: People don't plan for it in advance, and so when 437 00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:51,200 Speaker 1: somebody dies, we usually just do what we think we 438 00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:52,919 Speaker 1: have to do, which is go to a funeral director 439 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:54,800 Speaker 1: and we will pay whatever it is, because that's what 440 00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:57,840 Speaker 1: you do, you know. But we don't ever do that 441 00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:00,399 Speaker 1: in other situations. You know, if we were getting the 442 00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:03,080 Speaker 1: plumber in, we would be getting three quotes or whatever 443 00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:05,400 Speaker 1: it was. You know, it would be shopping around a bit. Now, 444 00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:08,439 Speaker 1: if you're willing to plan, you can shop around. You 445 00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:11,280 Speaker 1: can actually go and visit a funeral director. You can 446 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:13,280 Speaker 1: decide if you want one or not, you don't have 447 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:18,000 Speaker 1: to have one. You can go to the local crematorium 448 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:21,040 Speaker 1: or the local burial ground and have luke and see 449 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:23,840 Speaker 1: is this somewhere that would feel right for you. But 450 00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:25,399 Speaker 1: in order to do all of that, you have to 451 00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:26,960 Speaker 1: be willing to face up to the fact that it's 452 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:30,600 Speaker 1: going to happen. Jane will talk more after our next 453 00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:33,720 Speaker 1: break and we'll find out about your beliefs in the afterlife. 454 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,679 Speaker 1: You're listening to Shades of the Afterlife on the I 455 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:40,960 Speaker 1: Heart Radio and Coast to Coast AM Paranormal podcast network. 456 00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:48,640 Speaker 1: Are you looking for that certain someone who shares your 457 00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:53,520 Speaker 1: interests in UFOs, ghosts, bigfoot, conspiracy theories, and the paranormal, Well, 458 00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:56,439 Speaker 1: look no further than Paranormal date dot Com, a unique 459 00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:59,399 Speaker 1: site for like minded people. If you like the senior crowd, 460 00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:02,679 Speaker 1: try pair a normal date dot Com slash seniors to 461 00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,640 Speaker 1: meet like minded people that are sixty plus. It all 462 00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:08,639 Speaker 1: depends on what you prefer. Paranormal Date dot Com is 463 00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:11,320 Speaker 1: great for everyone. You can also tap into members that 464 00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:16,160 Speaker 1: are sixty plus at Paranormal date dot Com slash Seniors. 465 00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:20,080 Speaker 1: Enjoy your search and have some fun at Paranormal date 466 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:27,320 Speaker 1: dot com. You're listening to the I Heart Radio and 467 00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:44,480 Speaker 1: Coast to Coast day m Paranormal Podcasts. Welcome back to 468 00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:47,520 Speaker 1: Shades of the Afterlife. I'm Sanders Champlain and we are 469 00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:52,600 Speaker 1: talking to Jane Duncan Rodgers from Before You Go Solutions. Jane, 470 00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:56,359 Speaker 1: I know, for me, grief has been very difficult and 471 00:27:57,200 --> 00:28:03,200 Speaker 1: dealing with my father's after effects and family and all that, 472 00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:07,320 Speaker 1: but there's been one thing that's made it so much 473 00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:12,080 Speaker 1: better is knowing the reality of the afterlife. Can you 474 00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:17,080 Speaker 1: talk about that? Absolutely? Absolutely? And actually in my latest 475 00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:20,840 Speaker 1: book there's a chapter about that. I think I called 476 00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:24,680 Speaker 1: it what is a Body? Because it's much much easier 477 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:27,959 Speaker 1: to face up to this practical stuff if you know, 478 00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:31,439 Speaker 1: or if you're willing to believe that actually there is 479 00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:35,080 Speaker 1: much more to you than just a body, and that 480 00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:38,240 Speaker 1: who we are really inhabits this body and it's the 481 00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:42,120 Speaker 1: body that dies, but not us exactly. It's so much 482 00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:44,560 Speaker 1: easier to do it now. I know not everybody believes that, 483 00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:47,120 Speaker 1: but hopefully, you know, people listening to this will be 484 00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:50,880 Speaker 1: at least interested in that idea if they don't already 485 00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:53,240 Speaker 1: believe it. Yeah, I think a good number, maybe some 486 00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:56,440 Speaker 1: of the newcomers may not and be interested, and what's 487 00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:59,480 Speaker 1: the show all about. I have calmed the earth for 488 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:03,040 Speaker 1: incre the best of the best evidence of the afterlife 489 00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:07,240 Speaker 1: and help through grief, and I'm every bit as much 490 00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:10,560 Speaker 1: of a listener as anyone who's listening, So I know 491 00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:13,040 Speaker 1: the difference I've had, and I can't help but think 492 00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:15,520 Speaker 1: others that have listened to quite a few episodes really 493 00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:19,000 Speaker 1: realized that we don't die. Our life is for a reason. 494 00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:21,720 Speaker 1: So I think today really is the perfect time to 495 00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:24,600 Speaker 1: have this conversation because it is as if we are 496 00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:27,440 Speaker 1: checking out of one place or leaving a home and 497 00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:31,440 Speaker 1: doing another. You want to make sure everything sorted, everything's 498 00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:35,280 Speaker 1: taken care of for the new owners, you know whatever. Yeah, 499 00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:39,040 Speaker 1: that's sort of thing, but it is difficult because I can't. 500 00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:41,520 Speaker 1: I am sure you're the same way. If you feel 501 00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:44,120 Speaker 1: a little grief, all the grief you've ever had is ignited. 502 00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:47,720 Speaker 1: It was my anniversary of my dad's death, and even 503 00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:49,360 Speaker 1: though I'm at such a good place that I know 504 00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:53,240 Speaker 1: he lives on, I couldn't help but replay those last 505 00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:56,360 Speaker 1: moments with him and the family feuds and all that 506 00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:58,720 Speaker 1: you know, and it's like, Nope, stop Nope, I'm not 507 00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:01,960 Speaker 1: going to think that. So it takes something. It does. 508 00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:06,680 Speaker 1: It does. It takes a clarity of where you want 509 00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:10,280 Speaker 1: to be directing your thoughts, and that actually applies, I 510 00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:14,320 Speaker 1: think to when if there is any fear around, maybe 511 00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:17,560 Speaker 1: not death itself or what comes after, but what might 512 00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:21,840 Speaker 1: happen in the run up. Let's say, because we're out 513 00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:24,960 Speaker 1: of control then, and you know, when you're healthy, it's 514 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:28,760 Speaker 1: hard to imagine that you might not that one day 515 00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:32,240 Speaker 1: you might not actually be in control of your own body. 516 00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:34,840 Speaker 1: It is hard to imagine that. So I always say 517 00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:37,240 Speaker 1: to people when you're contemplating this kind of thing, and 518 00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:40,400 Speaker 1: especially the advanced directive and what you might like in 519 00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:43,200 Speaker 1: your last days, which is another section in the workbook, 520 00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:46,640 Speaker 1: it's a really good idea to instead of trying to 521 00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:49,600 Speaker 1: put yourself into the future and imagining it, just using 522 00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:53,440 Speaker 1: the sentence, which is, if this had happened to me yesterday, 523 00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:56,760 Speaker 1: what would I want? Yeah, So you just turn it 524 00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:58,959 Speaker 1: around if this had happened to me yesterday, or if 525 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:01,760 Speaker 1: I had died yesterday, what would I want to be happening? 526 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:07,240 Speaker 1: It makes it a little bit easier because it's no 527 00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:09,040 Speaker 1: I'm just thinking you have the workbook and you have 528 00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:12,480 Speaker 1: the book. Yeah, I'm assuming the book talks about it all, 529 00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:15,040 Speaker 1: and the workbook is actually an in action fill in 530 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:19,840 Speaker 1: the blank exactly exactly and both of them. If you 531 00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:22,680 Speaker 1: did everything that I said in the actual book itself, 532 00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:25,920 Speaker 1: the guide, then if you did all those exercises and 533 00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:27,720 Speaker 1: answered all the questions are, you'd have a pretty good 534 00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:29,880 Speaker 1: end of life plan. If you want to be absolutely 535 00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:32,240 Speaker 1: sure that you're covering all the questions, then the work 536 00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,520 Speaker 1: book is the one where all the questions are. But 537 00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:37,520 Speaker 1: there's no discussion in that. That's why I wrote the 538 00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:41,000 Speaker 1: book in the end, because that's where I'm discussing the 539 00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:43,320 Speaker 1: thinking that needs to go on behind the scenes in 540 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:45,560 Speaker 1: order to be able to answer the questions. At least 541 00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:48,360 Speaker 1: for some people. Now, it sounds great before I go, 542 00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:52,440 Speaker 1: solutions dot com is your website. So just a few 543 00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:55,479 Speaker 1: other things on these quiz that we don't think about. 544 00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:57,520 Speaker 1: One of the things that says, how do you want 545 00:31:57,560 --> 00:31:59,640 Speaker 1: your body to be dealt with? Well, it don done 546 00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:03,240 Speaker 1: me that I created this will, but you know what happens, 547 00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:06,040 Speaker 1: you know, Yeah, I said, I'm okay with Creem Mason. 548 00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:10,760 Speaker 1: But that's as far as the directive I gave. Okay, 549 00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:16,440 Speaker 1: So here's a little tip. It's yeah, it's a good 550 00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:20,160 Speaker 1: idea to even if you say in your will that 551 00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:22,400 Speaker 1: you want to be cremated or buried or whatever it 552 00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:24,880 Speaker 1: is that you want to have done, it's a really 553 00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:29,000 Speaker 1: good idea to have that information accessible and known by 554 00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:32,880 Speaker 1: other people as well as well as your executor, because 555 00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:36,400 Speaker 1: if that will, for whatever reason, can't easily be found, 556 00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:41,240 Speaker 1: then nobody's going to know what needs to happen with 557 00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:45,160 Speaker 1: the body. Right. So this happened to a friend of mine. 558 00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:49,040 Speaker 1: Actually we she was she was ill, but she wasn't 559 00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:52,240 Speaker 1: expected to die. That happened unexpectedly. She was found one morning. 560 00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:55,120 Speaker 1: She'd obviously fallen in the night and she was no 561 00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:58,840 Speaker 1: longer alive, And because she lived on her own, the 562 00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:02,840 Speaker 1: police got involved and they locked the flat. Now, she 563 00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:06,600 Speaker 1: had done her preparations, she did have an executive, she 564 00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:09,840 Speaker 1: did have a will, but because we couldn't get into 565 00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:15,040 Speaker 1: the flat, nobody knew what needed to happen about anything. 566 00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:18,680 Speaker 1: Because her documentation was in was in there, nobody else 567 00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:22,320 Speaker 1: had a copy of it. So it's really important. That's 568 00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:27,160 Speaker 1: why conversations is really important. That's one of the components 569 00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:28,840 Speaker 1: of the good end of life plan is that talk 570 00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:32,680 Speaker 1: about it. Talk before you've made your decisions, talk after 571 00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:36,600 Speaker 1: you've made your decisions. The other part that is essential 572 00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:40,600 Speaker 1: as get your decisions written down. Because it's amazing how 573 00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:45,040 Speaker 1: many people remember a conversation in a different way, isn't 574 00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:49,280 Speaker 1: it though, So that's why I say it needs to 575 00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:52,480 Speaker 1: be written down. Whatever it is that you come up with, 576 00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:55,480 Speaker 1: it needs to be written down. Yeah. Yeah, our minds 577 00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:58,280 Speaker 1: can't be trusted. And then I did some research about 578 00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:02,080 Speaker 1: our brain strength that when grieving and our memory is 579 00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:07,200 Speaker 1: really shot. I found my cell phone in my refrigerator. Yeah, 580 00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:13,520 Speaker 1: oh wow, when did that happen? Yeah, exactly, But people 581 00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:17,359 Speaker 1: can relate it happens, So write them down. And there's 582 00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:20,879 Speaker 1: some things as simple that we don't think of as 583 00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:26,440 Speaker 1: things like bank account passwords and even our like you 584 00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:31,400 Speaker 1: call it their online presence or Facebook, Twitter, it is that. 585 00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:35,239 Speaker 1: I mean, these are really simple things. I mean, for example, um, 586 00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:39,440 Speaker 1: with your digital presence, unless that's organized before you go, 587 00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:44,160 Speaker 1: then you are still going to be alive digitally, so 588 00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:48,840 Speaker 1: to speak. Now, that isn't necessarily a bad thing. But 589 00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:52,279 Speaker 1: what I'm wanting to give people as a choice, so 590 00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:54,799 Speaker 1: you have to think about it beforehand. What is it 591 00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:57,840 Speaker 1: you would want? You know? Well, then it becomes well, 592 00:34:58,200 --> 00:34:59,759 Speaker 1: I'm not going to be here, so what we'd be 593 00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:01,920 Speaker 1: found they want or what would the friends want, you know, 594 00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:04,480 Speaker 1: And that's where the discussion comes in. But it does 595 00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:07,160 Speaker 1: have to be taken care of because otherwise, afterwards it's 596 00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:11,400 Speaker 1: really difficult to get those accounts closed down if you 597 00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:14,279 Speaker 1: haven't taken care of it with a named person beforehand. 598 00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:17,160 Speaker 1: And that's all it needs to happen. Yes, it's important 599 00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:20,919 Speaker 1: to those that live on after us, But what I'm 600 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:24,799 Speaker 1: really getting Jane, is how important it is for us 601 00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:27,959 Speaker 1: in our quality of life. Now. I know what it's 602 00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:31,960 Speaker 1: like to live life with a to do list that's 603 00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:37,160 Speaker 1: a mile long. Right now, there's no joy, there's no freedom, 604 00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:41,120 Speaker 1: there's all the I should be doing this. It's like 605 00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:44,799 Speaker 1: a ball and chain. And once I start crossing off 606 00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:47,920 Speaker 1: those things, there's a sense of freedom. And if we 607 00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:51,520 Speaker 1: can cross off the list, the ultimate thing on our 608 00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:55,799 Speaker 1: to do list, think of the freedom to live life. Yeah, 609 00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:58,719 Speaker 1: it does work like that. And of course you know, 610 00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:00,759 Speaker 1: once you get some freedom and you usually fill it 611 00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:05,120 Speaker 1: up again, but then that's another issue. But at least 612 00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:08,200 Speaker 1: this end of things is taken care of, and you know, 613 00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:11,040 Speaker 1: it is a very selfless act. Let's be really clear 614 00:36:11,040 --> 00:36:13,279 Speaker 1: about this, because you're not going to be around to 615 00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:18,200 Speaker 1: appreciate how grateful your friends and family will be. Now 616 00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:20,439 Speaker 1: you might be able to experience that from the other side, 617 00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:23,560 Speaker 1: so to speak, but in this body, here and now, 618 00:36:23,719 --> 00:36:25,799 Speaker 1: you're not going to be And that's why so many 619 00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:28,239 Speaker 1: people say, why would I do any of this. I'm 620 00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:30,160 Speaker 1: going to be dead, I won't be here. It doesn't matter, 621 00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:33,120 Speaker 1: it don't care. You know, that's quite a common reaction 622 00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:37,799 Speaker 1: until people really start to think about the effect of 623 00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:40,839 Speaker 1: that mess and model left behind, Like when you check 624 00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:44,520 Speaker 1: out of the hotel, if things haven't been left tidy, 625 00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:47,040 Speaker 1: then there is a mess for other people to sort through. 626 00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:51,880 Speaker 1: And and because people are grieving, that's made doubly difficult, 627 00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:56,160 Speaker 1: even troubly difficult. And I really do believe one thing 628 00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:59,120 Speaker 1: in common by everybody who's listening right now is we've 629 00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:04,160 Speaker 1: experienced that grief and we know that pain, and then 630 00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:07,800 Speaker 1: talk about the unfinished business as well. But I also 631 00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:11,799 Speaker 1: knew that one of the characteristics I think of being 632 00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:15,680 Speaker 1: human is we love to be generous, and who doesn't 633 00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:18,759 Speaker 1: like to give a gift at the holidays, right, you know, 634 00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:21,360 Speaker 1: it feels better to give than receive. And if we 635 00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:26,240 Speaker 1: can look at completing our before I go plan as 636 00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:29,680 Speaker 1: a gift we're giving someone, it might be the way 637 00:37:29,719 --> 00:37:33,040 Speaker 1: to get it done, as opposed to I've got to 638 00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:35,560 Speaker 1: get this done. No, it's a gift. You know. Think 639 00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:38,560 Speaker 1: about your children or your grandchildren or whoever it's going 640 00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:41,080 Speaker 1: to be, the executiveutor whatever. I mean. They're gonna be 641 00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:43,640 Speaker 1: missing you. That's going to be all that grief. But 642 00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:46,480 Speaker 1: to give them the ultimate gift of saying, oh they 643 00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:49,960 Speaker 1: had everything handled, that was easy. Yeah. Well, one of 644 00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:52,000 Speaker 1: the little phrases that I have is to say that 645 00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:54,239 Speaker 1: a good end of life plan is a great going 646 00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:59,680 Speaker 1: away present, and it is. It's true. And there's another 647 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,040 Speaker 1: it's actually about a good end of life plan, which 648 00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:05,640 Speaker 1: isn't on the on the quiz. It's about creating your 649 00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:09,160 Speaker 1: living legacy what I call your living legacy. Now that's 650 00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:12,840 Speaker 1: how you want to be remembered. And I call it 651 00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:16,560 Speaker 1: a living legacy because it's never your legacy until you died. 652 00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:19,400 Speaker 1: So while you're still alive and you're creating it, whatever 653 00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:22,520 Speaker 1: it is, then that's why it's still living. But this 654 00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:26,279 Speaker 1: is something like that you have a choice over. Traditionally 655 00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:30,440 Speaker 1: that might be simpler things like what their favorite recipe 656 00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:33,600 Speaker 1: was or what was the perfume that they always wore. 657 00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:37,040 Speaker 1: Because it's these sorts of things that the people afterwards 658 00:38:37,239 --> 00:38:43,400 Speaker 1: will choose to really evoke your presence or evoke a memory, 659 00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:47,080 Speaker 1: and that can be incredibly valuable. And that doesn't even 660 00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:50,919 Speaker 1: begin to mention some of the adventures and learnings that 661 00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:54,440 Speaker 1: you've had throughout your life that can be really valuable 662 00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:56,920 Speaker 1: for people. And we don't always know that when we're alive. 663 00:38:57,120 --> 00:39:00,520 Speaker 1: But I'm on a mission to encourage people to do 664 00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:05,760 Speaker 1: their living legacies because those afterwards are so grateful usually 665 00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:09,000 Speaker 1: that's very nice. I don't have but a couple of 666 00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:13,879 Speaker 1: recordings of my dad's voice. Even speaking with my mom 667 00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:16,319 Speaker 1: not too long ago, she started telling me stories that 668 00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:19,360 Speaker 1: I've never heard before, but just to have some of 669 00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:23,080 Speaker 1: those things may be recorded, Yes, exactly. And we must 670 00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:29,880 Speaker 1: underestimate how much people like to know about the person. 671 00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:33,319 Speaker 1: We usually discover this at the funeral when there's a 672 00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:36,680 Speaker 1: eulogy of some kind. Let's take our last break now, 673 00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:38,880 Speaker 1: and when we come back. You had said there's some 674 00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:43,239 Speaker 1: components and you had some stories about the afterlife. You're 675 00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:45,839 Speaker 1: listening to Shades of the Afterlife on the I Heart 676 00:39:45,920 --> 00:40:02,640 Speaker 1: Radio and Coast to Coast AM paranormal podcast network. Did 677 00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:04,560 Speaker 1: you know that tests that could save your life from 678 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:07,000 Speaker 1: cancer are now available for a little or no cost 679 00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:10,120 Speaker 1: thanks to the healthcare law called the Affordable Care Act. 680 00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:13,120 Speaker 1: Let this be the year you get screening tests that 681 00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:16,839 Speaker 1: can detect cancer early when it's most treatable. Don't let 682 00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:19,719 Speaker 1: concerns get in the way. Talk to a doctor or 683 00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:23,400 Speaker 1: other medical professional to learn more about the best cancer 684 00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:37,320 Speaker 1: testing options for you. Happy New Year from your friends 685 00:40:37,320 --> 00:41:02,360 Speaker 1: here at I Heart Radio and Coast to Coast AM. 686 00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:05,759 Speaker 1: Welcome back to Shades of the Afterlife. I'm Sad Shamplain 687 00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:09,839 Speaker 1: and we're with Jane Duncan Rogers. Jane, what are these components? 688 00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:12,879 Speaker 1: You're talking about the eight components of a good death 689 00:41:12,920 --> 00:41:15,840 Speaker 1: of life plan, because I organize them into eight components 690 00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:17,640 Speaker 1: to try and make it a bit simpler to think 691 00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:20,120 Speaker 1: about it. Because obviously there's the legals and we've talked 692 00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:23,319 Speaker 1: about those. There's the last days and we talked about 693 00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:26,640 Speaker 1: that as well. There is the funeral. When people think 694 00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:29,239 Speaker 1: about death, they usually think about wills, and funerals. That's 695 00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:31,080 Speaker 1: what they know about, but you might not know that. 696 00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:33,839 Speaker 1: Actually don't have to have a funeral. You don't need 697 00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:37,359 Speaker 1: to have a funeral, really, but yeah, you don't need 698 00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:39,239 Speaker 1: to have a funeral. What you do need to do 699 00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:43,840 Speaker 1: is the body needs to be disposed of legally, according 700 00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:47,080 Speaker 1: to the law in your country or wherever it is. 701 00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:50,080 Speaker 1: The fourth one is the living legacy, which we've talked about. 702 00:41:50,320 --> 00:41:52,839 Speaker 1: The fifth one the digital life. We've we've also talked 703 00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:57,799 Speaker 1: a little bit about that. There is the household. Now 704 00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:02,799 Speaker 1: the household others things like how much stuff have you 705 00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:06,439 Speaker 1: got in your house that might need to be sorted through? 706 00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:10,160 Speaker 1: Usually this provokes quite a few laughs as well, because 707 00:42:10,719 --> 00:42:13,919 Speaker 1: a lot of people have a lot of stuff, and 708 00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:16,440 Speaker 1: you know, once you're no longer there, somebody's going to 709 00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:18,919 Speaker 1: have to go through it or it will just all 710 00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:22,400 Speaker 1: get taken away by how is clearance? Person. If you 711 00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:24,480 Speaker 1: don't want that to happen, then you need to take 712 00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:27,279 Speaker 1: care of some things. That's from the decluttering point of view, 713 00:42:27,719 --> 00:42:31,160 Speaker 1: But there are other things as well, which for example, 714 00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:34,880 Speaker 1: maybe ten days or something after my husband died, I 715 00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:37,040 Speaker 1: was on my own in the house for the first time, 716 00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:39,960 Speaker 1: and a friend had been visiting, and I had just 717 00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:42,479 Speaker 1: taken her to the airport actually, and I was coming back, 718 00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:45,080 Speaker 1: was coming back to the house on my own, sat 719 00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:48,000 Speaker 1: down to switch on the television. It came on, but 720 00:42:48,080 --> 00:42:51,480 Speaker 1: not at the screen that I was familiar with, so 721 00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:54,520 Speaker 1: it clearly she had been doing something with it. And 722 00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:58,400 Speaker 1: could I get it to the screen that showed the 723 00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:01,120 Speaker 1: guide with all the different programs. I couldn't do it, 724 00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:05,919 Speaker 1: and I was beside myself with grief. I was just 725 00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:09,080 Speaker 1: in flunts of tears because that's the sort of thing 726 00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:12,440 Speaker 1: that Philip would have done right in our house. You know. 727 00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:14,719 Speaker 1: He was the one who was a techy one. He 728 00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:16,840 Speaker 1: knew about all that sort of stuff. And I didn't 729 00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:19,560 Speaker 1: have a clue, and I couldn't, even in my muddeled 730 00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:23,839 Speaker 1: thinking state, get it to where I wanted it to be. Now, 731 00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:26,279 Speaker 1: that could have been taken care of if he had 732 00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:30,440 Speaker 1: simply maybe written down a few steps to take, because 733 00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:31,960 Speaker 1: you know, I looked at the manual, but you know 734 00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:36,080 Speaker 1: what manuals are like these days, and I know exactly. 735 00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:40,760 Speaker 1: So that's the kind of thing detail that you don't 736 00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:43,800 Speaker 1: necessarily think about that can be very very useful, I e. 737 00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:48,520 Speaker 1: Things like how does the household run, how do the 738 00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:52,000 Speaker 1: machines run? What happens? It's not unusual even in this 739 00:43:52,120 --> 00:43:55,920 Speaker 1: day and age for many men not to know about 740 00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:58,600 Speaker 1: much about what goes on in the kitchen and all. 741 00:43:58,640 --> 00:44:01,600 Speaker 1: That sounds a bit sexist, but let's maybe say partners. 742 00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:05,240 Speaker 1: But often I found its men because we are dealing 743 00:44:05,320 --> 00:44:07,960 Speaker 1: at they say it's mostly older people who are dying, 744 00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:10,759 Speaker 1: and that's how they've been brought up in that generation. 745 00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:14,480 Speaker 1: So that's the sixth one. And then I've mentioned also 746 00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:18,360 Speaker 1: the the last two of the components, and that is 747 00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:21,440 Speaker 1: to share it with somebody else, to talk about it beforehand, 748 00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:24,200 Speaker 1: and also to get it down in writing. Really important 749 00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:26,719 Speaker 1: all those areas, and that's what I call a good 750 00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:30,840 Speaker 1: end of life plan. Excellent. And I'm thinking in addition 751 00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:34,000 Speaker 1: to for those who are listening right now, we are 752 00:44:34,040 --> 00:44:38,000 Speaker 1: people interested in the afterlife. And I know for me, 753 00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:42,160 Speaker 1: just to answer my own question, I'm going on and 754 00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:45,320 Speaker 1: I would love to contact my loved ones from beyond, 755 00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:50,239 Speaker 1: whether it's a certain kind of a sign or I'm 756 00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:53,560 Speaker 1: interested in electronic voice phenomena, So I'm going to try 757 00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:56,799 Speaker 1: this or here is a secret code that go to 758 00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:58,560 Speaker 1: a medium, and this is what I'm going to try 759 00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:02,480 Speaker 1: to say, we could lighten up. This is just speculation, Jane, 760 00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:05,759 Speaker 1: but just this has been something that I've been interested in. 761 00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:08,440 Speaker 1: And your loved ones might not know that. You know 762 00:45:08,560 --> 00:45:12,239 Speaker 1: from where you're going to sit in the hereafter. You know, 763 00:45:12,560 --> 00:45:15,840 Speaker 1: maybe it's what part you're going to play in their life. Sure, 764 00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:18,399 Speaker 1: I'll be with you when you quiet your mind. I'll 765 00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:21,520 Speaker 1: be whispering in your ear, giving you love, cheering you on. 766 00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:26,399 Speaker 1: It's lovely. I really like that. Not because I think 767 00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:30,279 Speaker 1: many of us in that listen to the show and 768 00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:37,680 Speaker 1: interested in afterlife things. It's still not mainstream conversation. And 769 00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:40,000 Speaker 1: many of us have people in our life that when 770 00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:43,120 Speaker 1: eyebrow goes up when we start talking about this afterlife 771 00:45:43,120 --> 00:45:45,680 Speaker 1: thing or reading a book, and to be able to 772 00:45:45,719 --> 00:45:49,960 Speaker 1: be honest with our loved ones in whatever workbook that 773 00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:54,320 Speaker 1: we have being left here it is, this is my belief. 774 00:45:54,840 --> 00:45:57,439 Speaker 1: I'm sticking around. I'll be there to cheer you on. 775 00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:01,960 Speaker 1: I'm specially interested in the swarm of communication or this 776 00:46:02,040 --> 00:46:04,840 Speaker 1: kind of sign and keep your eyes out for a 777 00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:10,120 Speaker 1: cardinal or a butterfly or whatever. Yeah, that sort of thing. Yes, Yes, 778 00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:12,560 Speaker 1: and I'm a great I'm a great believer in signs, 779 00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:14,799 Speaker 1: and I definitely had my share of them after both 780 00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:18,080 Speaker 1: my parents died and my husband as well. And somehow 781 00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:20,160 Speaker 1: you just have you just know, you know, you just 782 00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:23,960 Speaker 1: know that that's them communicating. Can I ask a couple 783 00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:28,720 Speaker 1: of the signs that you've got? Sure? Yeah? My husband. 784 00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:31,919 Speaker 1: It was about maybe three weeks after after he had died, 785 00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:34,759 Speaker 1: and I was out in the woods walking. I was 786 00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:38,320 Speaker 1: incredibly angry that this had happened at all. I didn't 787 00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:40,600 Speaker 1: know where he was, and I really wanted to know 788 00:46:40,640 --> 00:46:42,560 Speaker 1: where he was. I couldn't bear that, and so I 789 00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:46,160 Speaker 1: was shouting out, where are you? Where are you? And 790 00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:48,720 Speaker 1: then about half an hour later, I was walking past 791 00:46:48,719 --> 00:46:51,319 Speaker 1: the little cops of going through a field, walking past 792 00:46:51,320 --> 00:46:54,080 Speaker 1: the cops of trees, and I felt a very strong 793 00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:56,040 Speaker 1: pool to go in the middle of them. Now, I've 794 00:46:56,120 --> 00:46:59,480 Speaker 1: never had that before. I walked past this cops millions 795 00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:03,520 Speaker 1: of times, and in the middle I sat down on 796 00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:06,320 Speaker 1: a broken log and I looked up and I saw 797 00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:10,560 Speaker 1: a dead tree with woodpecker holes in it. Now I 798 00:47:10,680 --> 00:47:13,440 Speaker 1: burst into tears at that moment because I knew that 799 00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:17,200 Speaker 1: the woodpecker holes were the sign. Because we had been 800 00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:21,799 Speaker 1: campinging in California in the Capra van one night in 801 00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:26,759 Speaker 1: a particular place where we were surrounded in by pine 802 00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:29,600 Speaker 1: trees that had woodpecker holes. We'd had a long conversation 803 00:47:29,640 --> 00:47:33,080 Speaker 1: about it, and we'd even I'd brought back some a 804 00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:35,160 Speaker 1: little tiny bit of bark with a hole in it, 805 00:47:35,640 --> 00:47:39,879 Speaker 1: so I knew that I had been guided there by him, 806 00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:43,760 Speaker 1: with him telling me that he was okay, I know it. Yes, 807 00:47:44,440 --> 00:47:47,040 Speaker 1: It's lovely, isn't it. And then there was another one 808 00:47:47,080 --> 00:47:51,319 Speaker 1: with my mom. She loved hedgehogs, and she knew there 809 00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:53,959 Speaker 1: was a hedgehog in her garden, but she hadn't seen 810 00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:57,719 Speaker 1: it for ages months. She'd seen it once. I think 811 00:47:57,719 --> 00:48:00,000 Speaker 1: it was maybe two or three days after she died. 812 00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:03,200 Speaker 1: I was out in the garden and I in the 813 00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:05,560 Speaker 1: middle of the day, and hedgehog's only come out at night. 814 00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:07,600 Speaker 1: But in the middle of the day I turned around 815 00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:10,319 Speaker 1: and there was this hedgehog right in the middle of 816 00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:14,200 Speaker 1: the loan, just sitting there. It wasn't curled up in 817 00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:17,040 Speaker 1: a bowl, it was just sitting there, and I sort 818 00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:19,000 Speaker 1: of crouched down and looked at it, and I thought, 819 00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:23,440 Speaker 1: this is Mom was so sweet, And then it just 820 00:48:23,560 --> 00:48:27,560 Speaker 1: sort of toddled off into the undergrowth. But it was like, oh, 821 00:48:27,600 --> 00:48:30,680 Speaker 1: my goodness, she really is there. You know. It was 822 00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:34,719 Speaker 1: really lovely. That's really nice, really nice. There's a my 823 00:48:34,760 --> 00:48:38,560 Speaker 1: aunt's friends, good friends. Father had passed away not too 824 00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:40,799 Speaker 1: long ago, and he was a big lover of cardinals, 825 00:48:41,320 --> 00:48:44,720 Speaker 1: and there were seven of them in the family left, 826 00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:48,399 Speaker 1: and so they were all sitting in dad's favorite room, 827 00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:52,120 Speaker 1: which is a little screened in porch, and seven cardinals 828 00:48:52,640 --> 00:48:55,360 Speaker 1: came red cardinals. So they must have all been the 829 00:48:55,440 --> 00:49:00,560 Speaker 1: mails into the tree right by the window. Oh when 830 00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:08,759 Speaker 1: does that happen? Exactly? So a skeptical mind could say coincidence, woodpeckers, hedgehogs, 831 00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:14,200 Speaker 1: But let your heart decide, because these are signs. And well, 832 00:49:14,239 --> 00:49:18,480 Speaker 1: you know, I said after I said to my niece, 833 00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:22,000 Speaker 1: my mom's granddaughter. She was aged nine at the time. 834 00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:24,920 Speaker 1: I said to her, I told her about the hedgehog, 835 00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:30,080 Speaker 1: and immediately she said that was granny. So it's like, yes, 836 00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:32,680 Speaker 1: I didn't suggest that too, she just knew it as well. 837 00:49:32,760 --> 00:49:36,120 Speaker 1: It was lovely. That's great. I see my dad's name 838 00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:39,400 Speaker 1: a lot. His name is John, and I will just 839 00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:42,560 Speaker 1: glance up and it'll be on someone's license plate. Or 840 00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:48,279 Speaker 1: sign on a restaurant or something. And so maybe back 841 00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:50,560 Speaker 1: in the end of life work books like I'm going 842 00:49:50,600 --> 00:49:52,960 Speaker 1: to put my name places, you know, beyond the lookout, 843 00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:55,200 Speaker 1: you know, because those kind of things that really give 844 00:49:55,600 --> 00:50:01,320 Speaker 1: hope to the person that's left behind. Absolutely absolutely hope. 845 00:50:01,400 --> 00:50:05,319 Speaker 1: And this soothing and comforting and all of that is 846 00:50:05,360 --> 00:50:08,080 Speaker 1: really good. Yeah. And I can't tell you, Jane, how 847 00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:12,120 Speaker 1: many people that I've interviewed that had near death experiences 848 00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:15,759 Speaker 1: and things. And I have this vision of when we 849 00:50:16,120 --> 00:50:18,720 Speaker 1: take our last breath, close our eyes here on earth, 850 00:50:19,200 --> 00:50:20,920 Speaker 1: we open them in a place and it is like 851 00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:24,479 Speaker 1: crossing the finish line. Our loved ones are there, our 852 00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:30,120 Speaker 1: pets are there. Everybody's young and healthy and sharing us on. 853 00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:34,759 Speaker 1: So to leave a few words behind two in the 854 00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:37,680 Speaker 1: workbook of be watching over you. This is what your 855 00:50:37,680 --> 00:50:40,120 Speaker 1: life is for. And I will be right there when 856 00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:42,400 Speaker 1: you cross the finish line, be the first one to 857 00:50:42,440 --> 00:50:46,600 Speaker 1: greet you, or um moments before you go. You know, 858 00:50:46,680 --> 00:50:49,200 Speaker 1: I'll be there to take you to the next place 859 00:50:49,480 --> 00:50:51,840 Speaker 1: something like that, because those are things that can be 860 00:50:51,880 --> 00:50:56,840 Speaker 1: held onto and really help someone in their time of grief. Beautiful. Yes, 861 00:50:57,440 --> 00:51:00,359 Speaker 1: So now I take my own advice let's see. Well, 862 00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:06,160 Speaker 1: I'm committed to Jane. Thank you so much for being 863 00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:11,600 Speaker 1: our guest today. It's a pleasure at this I love 864 00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:14,160 Speaker 1: that you love it because it's kind of, I don't 865 00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:16,439 Speaker 1: want to say, a taboo subject, but it's hard for 866 00:51:16,480 --> 00:51:20,040 Speaker 1: people to think about. And I can only pray that 867 00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:23,120 Speaker 1: we've talked about the reality of the afterlife so much 868 00:51:23,200 --> 00:51:27,360 Speaker 1: that this is the group that's going to take the 869 00:51:27,400 --> 00:51:33,320 Speaker 1: advice and go forward. Before I Go solutions dot Com, Yeah, 870 00:51:33,480 --> 00:51:37,000 Speaker 1: website names of your book Before I Go, The Essential 871 00:51:37,000 --> 00:51:40,080 Speaker 1: Guide to creating a good end of life plan. And 872 00:51:40,120 --> 00:51:43,600 Speaker 1: I'm also inspired by Gifted by Grief, a true story 873 00:51:43,640 --> 00:51:47,680 Speaker 1: of cancer, loss and rebirth. Yeah, there's probably a few 874 00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:50,440 Speaker 1: more stories of signs and visions and things in that 875 00:51:50,520 --> 00:51:54,879 Speaker 1: in that one. Wow. Well, Jane, thanks again for being 876 00:51:54,880 --> 00:51:58,000 Speaker 1: our guest. Thank you, it was an absolutely a pleasure. 877 00:51:58,640 --> 00:52:00,960 Speaker 1: And for our listeners, thank you so much for listening. 878 00:52:01,239 --> 00:52:04,880 Speaker 1: I know this doesn't seem like a traditional show, but 879 00:52:05,320 --> 00:52:09,680 Speaker 1: I do believe if we can cross off our list 880 00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:13,200 Speaker 1: of things to do this one big thing, which is 881 00:52:13,320 --> 00:52:18,000 Speaker 1: our end of life stuff, we can live a whole 882 00:52:18,320 --> 00:52:21,279 Speaker 1: different kind of life. And wouldn't it be great to 883 00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:24,560 Speaker 1: live a life, that you're really free to do what 884 00:52:24,640 --> 00:52:27,360 Speaker 1: you want to do and you don't have this big 885 00:52:27,440 --> 00:52:30,760 Speaker 1: thing hanging over your shoulders. So that's why I invited 886 00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:34,600 Speaker 1: Jane here today as a reminder. Our home base is 887 00:52:34,719 --> 00:52:38,440 Speaker 1: we Don't Die dot Com. Lots of new classes, of course, 888 00:52:38,480 --> 00:52:42,960 Speaker 1: our Sunday gathering and come just join us for something. 889 00:52:43,400 --> 00:52:45,800 Speaker 1: If you'd like to read a copy of my book 890 00:52:45,960 --> 00:52:49,480 Speaker 1: or listen to the audio book, just go to the 891 00:52:49,560 --> 00:52:53,040 Speaker 1: store at we Don't Die dot com, scroll down and 892 00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:58,200 Speaker 1: use coupon code free. Be my guest. So I'm Sanders 893 00:52:58,280 --> 00:53:01,400 Speaker 1: Champlain in a big, warm thank you for listening to 894 00:53:01,960 --> 00:53:05,120 Speaker 1: Shades of the Afterlife on the I Heart Radio and 895 00:53:05,200 --> 00:53:21,600 Speaker 1: Coast to Coast AM Paranormal podcast network. And if you 896 00:53:21,719 --> 00:53:24,440 Speaker 1: like this episode of Shades of the Afterlife, wait until 897 00:53:24,480 --> 00:53:26,920 Speaker 1: you hear the next one. Thank you for listening to 898 00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:29,680 Speaker 1: the Heart Radio and Coast to Coast a m paranormal 899 00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:30,840 Speaker 1: podcast Network.