Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central show.
Speaker 2: In America, our own young people are taking up a
Speaker 2: similarly passionate cause. Yes, America's youth have rallied around the
Speaker 2: noble flag of the New Star Wars Movie, Episode one,
Speaker 2: The Fandom Menace. It is a period of nerdy anticipation.
Speaker 2: Teens with rebellious acne striking from hidden poors have begun
Speaker 2: their first battle against the evil Galactic Empire. Boys who
Speaker 2: girls like Let's hear from someone who's taking up the cause.
Speaker 2: You de man, Yoda Man.
Speaker 3: I'll see this movie most likely six times in one day,
Speaker 3: the very first showing me in the midnight show, and
Speaker 3: after that the noon show, the four PM show, the
Speaker 3: seven PM show, the ten PM show, and the midnight
Speaker 3: show the next day.
Speaker 2: He reportedly added. After that, I'll go home, be treated
Speaker 2: for scabies, and bury my dog in case you've been
Speaker 2: frozen in carbonite for the last six months. The New
Speaker 2: Star Wars Movie, Episode one, The Phantom Menace, opens next Wednesday.
Speaker 2: We sent our own Vance to Generous Demand's Chinese Theater
Speaker 2: in Hollywood, where fans have been waiting in line for
Speaker 2: six weeks. Vance will be living with them until the
Speaker 2: movie opens. So here it is our Star Wars the
Speaker 2: obligatory coverage. That's actually the ending. Oops, Hey, Vance, degenerous?
Speaker 2: Are you out there? Is there a lot of excitement
Speaker 2: in the line?
Speaker 4: Well, John, it's Hollywood, and excitement is Hollywood's middle name,
Speaker 4: especially when it comes to long lines.
Speaker 1: John, I went out and put.
Speaker 4: Together a little piece today. Let's take a look at it.
Speaker 4: Excuse me? How long have you been waiting this line?
Speaker 1: Spot? Ten seconds? How about thirty seconds? About a minute?
Speaker 1: How long are you prepared to wait? Not very long?
Speaker 1: And yet another line moving?
Speaker 5: Yet?
Speaker 1: Certainly a line. Has it affected your family anyway?
Speaker 4: Has it affected your job at anyway?
Speaker 1: You're annoyed at having to wait?
Speaker 6: Yes?
Speaker 2: Yes, but we're not really waiting for anything.
Speaker 4: So, as you can clearly see, John, here in Hollywood,
Speaker 4: lines are a horse of a different color, Advance.
Speaker 2: Not that those aren't really good lines, but we say
Speaker 2: to Hollywood to cover the fans in line at the
Speaker 2: Chinese theater for the opening of the new Star Wars movie.
Speaker 1: My mistake, John, I'm sorry.
Speaker 4: I thought you sent me out here to do a
Speaker 4: story on lines in general.
Speaker 1: But that makes much more sense. Excellent idea, John.
Speaker 2: We'll go on over to the Chinese Theater and get
Speaker 2: your sleeping bag and get in line. We'll see you Monday.
Speaker 2: Dan's the Generous live somewhere in Hollywood at Man's Chinese Theater.
Speaker 2: In Hollywood, fans have been in line for six weeks
Speaker 2: for the opening of Star Wars The Phantom Menace. Our
Speaker 2: own as the Generous, has been camping out for five
Speaker 2: days and he's met some very interesting characters. So here
Speaker 2: it is Star Wars, the obligatory coverage, Flashy Dance, Degenerous
Speaker 2: is standing by Live Vance. We're all eager to know
Speaker 2: what's it like out there living the Star Wars adventure.
Speaker 4: I have to tell you my sleeping bag has a
Speaker 4: funny smell, and last night a hobo stepped on my finger.
Speaker 2: Well, what's the atmosphere like there.
Speaker 4: Vance, Well, John, During the day, it's pretty tame, but
Speaker 4: after midnight it's sort of like being a kid at
Speaker 4: a circus, only without the wild animals and tents or fun.
Speaker 4: Add Instead of clowns, you have crack fueled gang members
Speaker 4: piling out of cars. Fortunately, I'm protected by line dwelling
Speaker 4: Star Wars fanatics wielding toy lightsabers, and the force.
Speaker 2: Well, speaking of the Star Wars fans. How about introducing
Speaker 2: us to some of the fans.
Speaker 4: You bet, John will meet some super fans who have
Speaker 4: incredibly long, endless minusha field stories about which Rebel Alliance
Speaker 4: military insignia is coolest.
Speaker 2: Well, we're getting a little tight on time, Vance, So
Speaker 2: why don't you talk to the experson the salves the fans.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, John, that's an excellent idea, because who else would
Speaker 4: be able to go on and on and on for
Speaker 4: days on end acting out scenes from Star Wars and
Speaker 4: scenes they made up, and songs about Star Wars they
Speaker 4: made up, songs like Dolmo Arigato, mister R two D two.
Speaker 2: All right, Well that's great, Vance, Let's let's meet him.
Speaker 2: Let's let's take a look at the fans and have it.
Speaker 7: All right?
Speaker 2: All right, say no more, Advance. Maybe we'll get that
Speaker 2: song next time. Well, we'll have another live report from
Speaker 2: Vance the Generous tomorrow. Good luck out there, Vance. Right
Speaker 2: now at Man's Chinese Theater in Hollywood, diehard fans have
Speaker 2: been in line for weeks for the opening of the
Speaker 2: new Star Wars movie. Our own Vance Degenerous has been
Speaker 2: camping out with the fans soaking up this once in
Speaker 2: a lifetime opportunity. We now continue with Star Wars the
Speaker 2: obligatory coverage. Yes, Vance, how's it going out there in Hollywood?
Speaker 2: Are you getting the Star Wars fever? Vance? Dvance? Degenerous vance?
Speaker 1: What fans?
Speaker 2: Are you all right? What happened to your clothes and
Speaker 2: your hygiene?
Speaker 4: I ran out of food and water, so I sued
Speaker 4: my suit for some fresca. I hope it's fresca. Did
Speaker 4: you know you can cook a roach with a single
Speaker 4: match fance?
Speaker 2: I had no idea this was going on. What about
Speaker 2: the other fans in line? How are they holding up?
Speaker 2: Are they going to be able to hang on for
Speaker 2: the opening of the movie?
Speaker 4: Movies?
Speaker 2: We sent you out there to cover the opening of
Speaker 2: Star Wars movie.
Speaker 4: I like movies, but not sad ones. Did you know
Speaker 4: you can turn an ordinary egg carton into a handy
Speaker 4: portable latrine and it takes over six minutes for three
Speaker 4: seven hundred and fifty two ants to watch us six.
Speaker 2: Feet concentrate dvance. Now we heard a rumor George Lucas
Speaker 2: himself is going to be at the Chinese theater for
Speaker 2: the first showing of the film. That's that's exciting.
Speaker 1: Isn't it maybe?
Speaker 2: Well, Vance, can you tell us anything about Dvance? Can
Speaker 2: you tell it Vance? A Well? Tomorrow, hopefully we'll have
Speaker 2: an actual report on the movie from Vance, degenerous, Vance, degenerous,
Speaker 2: Ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 5: Ah.
Speaker 2: Here it is day fifty two of our obligatory Star
Speaker 2: Wars coverage. Nine bucks new Star Wars movie premieres, fans
Speaker 2: say better than Spaceball's. Following a barrage of hype that
Speaker 2: makes you wistful for the soft cell of Titanic, Fans
Speaker 2: gathered for the midnight opening of Star Wars, allowing George
Speaker 2: Lucas to finally pay off his student loans. Excited fans
Speaker 2: stage these unbelievably realistic light saber battles, recreating a classic
Speaker 2: scene where two Jedis fight over an eight dollars milk dud.
Speaker 2: The fans were out in mass. Let's hear from one
Speaker 2: of the more well adjusted ones. Now, of course, with you,
Speaker 2: I don't want to say anything, but I think that's
Speaker 2: my accountant Across the nation, films started late due to
Speaker 2: the extra time needed to create aisle space for all
Speaker 2: the Lizard Terrarium's clarinet cases and unwieldy retainer.
Speaker 1: Boxes and.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to the program. This past Sunday was a
Speaker 2: banner day for fans of the Star Wars series, as
Speaker 2: Fox aired the first glimpse of the latest installment of
Speaker 2: the Saga Attack of the Clones. Joining us now are
Speaker 2: a resident expert in all things science fiction, Stephen Colbert. Stephen,
Speaker 2: you worked with Bradbury, with Huxley, understudied many of them.
Speaker 2: What did you think of this particular trailer, John.
Speaker 1: I loved it. The special effects.
Speaker 8: Were mind blowing, the editing was crisp.
Speaker 9: Jimmy Smit's was in it. I don't want to tell
Speaker 9: you the ending, but but what the heck, I'll just
Speaker 9: show it to you.
Speaker 1: Your first chance to see the trailers for Star Wars.
Speaker 1: Look at this now.
Speaker 9: For those of you who don't know how to read,
Speaker 9: they're telling you that this is the exact same trailer
Speaker 9: you can see this Friday during previews before the showing
Speaker 9: of the new Fox animated classic Ice Age.
Speaker 2: I have got to see that Ice Age. No, the
Speaker 2: new Star Wars trailer. But it's it's the same trailer
Speaker 2: you just saw right right right, But it's going to
Speaker 2: be on the big screen in a big theater.
Speaker 9: I can't impress upon you how the largeness of it
Speaker 9: will increase its size. You see, at home, I'm bigger
Speaker 9: than my TV. But in a movie theater, the screen
Speaker 9: dwarfs me. That the TV trailer has only wet my appetite.
Speaker 9: The feast is this Friday.
Speaker 2: So you're you're really looking forward to this movie?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: Did you not like episode one? No?
Speaker 9: I love the trailer, but I heard the movie was terrible.
Speaker 9: You know, it was like one hundred and thirty three minutes.
Speaker 9: I could watch thirty or forty trailers during that same time.
Speaker 1: You just like trailers?
Speaker 2: What's not the like John?
Speaker 9: I mean, you got the buttery voice narrator asking me
Speaker 9: to imagine a world where something happens, or every so
Speaker 9: often a film comes along that does something. You know,
Speaker 9: I love the excitement when the trail tailer is fun
Speaker 9: and upbeat and then you hear that needle scratch, like
Speaker 9: and everything sort of stops, and then someone mugs for
Speaker 9: the camera like whoa, whoa what? Or when someone's about
Speaker 9: to say a dirty word. Then they cut to a
Speaker 9: tanker truck exploding.
Speaker 7: Like suck my.
Speaker 9: You know that, that, my friend, is trail ertainment.
Speaker 2: It is it is it is you don't like movies
Speaker 2: at all.
Speaker 9: I love movies, John, I just don't see why they
Speaker 9: have to be so long. You know, nobody walks out
Speaker 9: of trailers because they're perfect. And in fact, there is
Speaker 9: nothing in this world that wouldn't be better in trailer form.
Speaker 9: I mean, take this Star Wars commentary for instance, wouldn't
Speaker 9: have been a lot better if we had just done
Speaker 9: it like this.
Speaker 8: In a world where one man loved.
Speaker 1: It, John, I loved it. Jimmy Smith's was in it.
Speaker 8: He's about to get more than he bargained for.
Speaker 2: I'm pregnant.
Speaker 9: Movies are just watered down trailers.
Speaker 8: The Stephen Colbert trailer commentary, winner of the coveted bomb
Speaker 8: Doors Suck Mine coming to the Daily Show three minutes ago, John,
Speaker 8: Thank you Stephen.
Speaker 2: Stephen Colbert. Everybody, We'll be right back. A deafening screech,
Speaker 2: pink eyes beaming from the darkness. A monstrous white form
Speaker 2: streaks past you, leaving only a gelatinous trail of fetid stench.
Speaker 2: A monster. No, it was your live at home son.
Speaker 2: Going to get the new Star Wars toys might be
Speaker 2: a good time to hose out his layer. Yes, has Bros.
Speaker 2: Unleashed it's episode two Attack of the Clones toy line
Speaker 2: a full three weeks before the much enter a pated
Speaker 2: release of the Star Wars installment sure to be hot.
Speaker 2: Items include Anakin Skywalker, Obi or Django, Martin Luther King,
Speaker 2: what the hell we only had three, so we threw
Speaker 2: in him try and soothe out the whole jar Jar Binks,
Speaker 2: Debacle Toys. R US officials beamed at what lay ahead.
Speaker 9: The line is fabulous.
Speaker 2: You know this movie is rich with.
Speaker 10: Characters, with content, with vehicles and scenes that are really
Speaker 10: very exciting.
Speaker 2: You heard it here first xtree Xtree Star Wars Episode
Speaker 2: two is going to feature content, vehicles, and scenes that
Speaker 2: guy can sell anything. Also, in anticipation of the film's release,
Speaker 2: a video of John Williams and the London sem of
Speaker 2: the Orchestra performing a track and title Across the Stars
Speaker 2: premiered on TRL earlier this week. Imagine that was shortly
Speaker 2: after the premiere of MTVS Becoming Yo Yo Ma the
Speaker 2: entire audience tonight all PBS tote bag owners. The video
Speaker 2: also lets fans know that horror legend Christopher Lee has
Speaker 2: joined the cast.
Speaker 11: Joined me everyone, and together we will destroy.
Speaker 2: In the film, Lee plays the role of Darth Tyrannus.
Speaker 2: The name Darth is used for many villains in the
Speaker 2: Star Wars movies, including Darth Vader and Darth Maul. It's
Speaker 2: been reported George Lucas has already chosen as Darth for
Speaker 2: Episode three. Characters so nefarious he could only be named
Speaker 2: Darth Darth, I am your father, seriously, Finally a reason
Speaker 2: to live. Star Wars Episode something, Attack of the Thingers
Speaker 2: is lumbering into theaters. Upon exiting last night's first midnight showings,
Speaker 2: many fans said the film was actually better than the
Speaker 2: last installment. Episode won the Phantom Menace. Well, that's a
Speaker 2: rare honor shared with such other films as snow Dogs.
Speaker 7: Believe it or not.
Speaker 2: The film's marketing was considered low key by Hollywood blockbuster standards,
Speaker 2: with only twenty five million spent in advertising, even though
Speaker 2: Yoda was on the cover of Time magazine last month,
Speaker 2: was only to discuss his crippling addiction to diet pills
Speaker 2: and myself and like, oh you read it, there we go.
Speaker 2: Talk is Talk has already begun of Star Wars episode three,
Speaker 2: which is expected to follow Anakin and Padme's adventures as
Speaker 2: they inherit a whipped cream factory on the planet Naboo,
Speaker 2: which is run by a wacky scientists played by Nathan
Speaker 2: All their lives are turned upside down when they adopt
Speaker 2: a little black boy who teaches them the meaning of love.
Speaker 2: And thanks for that exclusive episode three preview information. It
Speaker 2: goes out to our daily show fact checker, doctor idiot.
Speaker 2: He's really not very good at his job. Perhaps we
Speaker 2: should fire him. So it's technically it is Attack of
Speaker 2: the Clones worthy of the hype. Here's Frank Takara with
Speaker 2: the answer, which of course is no.
Speaker 12: Oh, come on, Yoda, it wasn't that bad. Well, Star
Speaker 12: Wars episode two, Attack of the Clones has landed, and
Speaker 12: the good news is it's an improvement over Star Wars
Speaker 12: episode one. The Phantom Menace, of course, just leaving the
Speaker 12: theater after episode one was an improved on episode one.
Speaker 12: Since nothing I say, we'll stop you from seeing this blockbuster.
Speaker 12: Here's what happens. The pod racing little kid from Phantom
Speaker 12: Menace has grown up to be a member of the
Speaker 12: Thompson Twins.
Speaker 4: We all know.
Speaker 12: Big Anakin played by Hayden Christiansen is going to turn
Speaker 12: into Darth Vader, but for now he's doing his heavy
Speaker 12: breathing over Natalie Portman. She plays padme Ahmadala. She used
Speaker 12: to be queen, but now she's just a senator, just
Speaker 12: like Hillary Clinton.
Speaker 13: Must be difficult, having sworn your left to the Jedi,
Speaker 13: not being able to do the things you like.
Speaker 1: I want to be with the people that I love.
Speaker 6: Are you allowed to love?
Speaker 12: These two couldn't have less chemistry if they were in
Speaker 12: separate movies and between uncomfortable kisses.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of mumbo jumbo about.
Speaker 12: Trade sanctions, senate deliberations, and separatist movements.
Speaker 11: The Senate must vote the chancellor emergency Palace. As my
Speaker 11: first act, I will create a grand Army of the Republic.
Speaker 12: Fun It's like sea spam with lasers.
Speaker 1: Do you have any idea who's behind this attack?
Speaker 12: Of course George Lucas. The real love story in episode
Speaker 12: two is between old George and one hundred and forty
Speaker 12: million dollars worth of computer generated special effects, most of
Speaker 12: it for Natalie Portman's hair. There are some saving graces here,
Speaker 12: including some fantastic production design, legitimately exciting action sequences, and
Speaker 12: Jedi candy. Ewan McGregor is Obi wan Kenoby. Whenever he's
Speaker 12: on screen, I feel like I'm gonna have an episode two. Then,
Speaker 12: of course there's Yoda, and boy was I glad to
Speaker 12: see him.
Speaker 4: In grave danger?
Speaker 2: You are?
Speaker 12: You know you're in trouble when a computer generated lawn
Speaker 12: ornament is the most natural actor in your movie. In
Speaker 12: the end, Attack of the Clones is short on substance
Speaker 12: and long on style and just playing long went to
Speaker 12: bathroom twice, this reviewer did begun discorn war has whatever
Speaker 12: back to you, John my Boba fetish.
Speaker 2: Thank you break. This past weekend, you may have experienced
Speaker 2: a strange sensation, something that can only be described as
Speaker 2: a disturbance in the Force, specifically the salesforce. Toy and
Speaker 2: retail stores nationwide celebrated the upcoming premiere the sixth and
Speaker 2: final Star Wars movie, Revengeley Sith, with a midnight roll
Speaker 2: out of a brand new line of merchandise. Among the
Speaker 2: top offerings, this talking Yoda doll a cool new way
Speaker 2: to teach kids bad grammar, hmmm, incorrect englishnesses. There's also
Speaker 2: a Darth tat mister potato Head doll, though sadly he's
Speaker 2: more machine than potato now Darth Tat. I wish that
Speaker 2: was making this up perfect for those who crave evil,
Speaker 2: but wish it were start here in New York's Times Square.
Speaker 2: Some enthusiasts even celebrated by showing up in full Star
Speaker 2: Wars regalia. There were legions of costumed characters, all your favorites,
Speaker 2: from Princess Leah to Jedi Eminem. What what movie was
Speaker 2: he in? Yes, the peanut is strong in this one.
Speaker 2: Walmart was among the retailers taking part in the product launch.
Speaker 2: And if you've ever wondered exactly how they keep their
Speaker 2: prices so low, here's how they do it. Grandma Labor,
Speaker 2: I find your attempts to unionize most disturbing. As for
Speaker 2: the manufacturers of these toys, Hasbro official Brian Goldner explained,
Speaker 2: there really a chance to teach children about morality.
Speaker 9: We give kids the opportunity to choose between the light
Speaker 9: side and the dark side of the forest.
Speaker 2: By the way, did you know that the true identity
Speaker 2: of the emperor? Hasbro official Brian Goldman so how to
Speaker 2: rally the GOP troops for the upcoming fall election, a
Speaker 2: rededication to the party platform or review of their recent
Speaker 2: accomplishments or you could produce an eight minute parody of
Speaker 2: Star Wars called Election Wars, in which Democratic Minority Leader
Speaker 2: Nancy Pelosi is Darth Nancy, evil cohort of sinister figures
Speaker 2: like Howard Dean and the dreaded Campaign Committee Chair Ram Emmanuel.
Speaker 2: How could you take on a fearsome juggernaut like that?
Speaker 11: They had a plan to defeat Darth Nancy with a
Speaker 11: strategy built from the ground up, and it was up
Speaker 11: to their battle tested incumbents to carry it out. They
Speaker 11: vound to band together once more to deny the majority
Speaker 11: to Darth Nancy and the Evil Democrat Empire.
Speaker 2: Evil Democrat Empire. I got news for you. If we're
Speaker 2: going to do the Star Wars analogy, the Democrats are
Speaker 2: at best ewoks.
Speaker 5: At that.
Speaker 2: Believe me, you'd be pumping up their egos to call
Speaker 2: them jawas. Why care the Republicans just admit it. You're
Speaker 2: in charge. You control the White House, both Houses of Congress,
Speaker 2: the Supreme Court. You're not a bunch of ragtag rebels
Speaker 2: fighting the Empire.
Speaker 10: You're Besides the Star Wars thing, the Star Wars thing
Speaker 10: is laying anyway, It's an outdated nerdy reference.
Speaker 2: It doesn't even begin to I know.
Speaker 13: You masturbated to me in the seventies.
Speaker 7: I know you masturbated to me in the seventies.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: I always dreamed she saw that, but I never thought
Speaker 2: she did.
Speaker 13: Disney released a new Star Wars show on their streaming platform,
Speaker 13: Disney Plus, which I've heard is good but not as good.
Speaker 13: That's Paramount Plus.
Speaker 7: Now, this Star Wars show.
Speaker 13: Is not the one about the Mandalorian, and it's not
Speaker 13: the one about Boba fet No. This one is about
Speaker 13: Obi Wan Kenobi, the galaxy's most powerful hobo.
Speaker 7: And anyone can see where this is going.
Speaker 13: All right, it's just like show off the show on Disney.
Speaker 13: You see what they're doing, now, you get it. They
Speaker 13: plans to release a show about every character in Star Wars.
Speaker 13: It's genius, like a ton of money. Personally, I can't
Speaker 13: wait for the job of the hot sitcom. What I know,
Speaker 13: she broke your hard, Joba, but you gotta start dating again.
Speaker 11: Oh oh oh do CoV god bar.
Speaker 13: Dude, channing her up and putting it in a gold
Speaker 13: bikini doesn't count as a date.
Speaker 7: Silly.
Speaker 13: That show's also premier next week.
Speaker 1: Anyway.
Speaker 13: The Obi Wan Kenobi show is introducing a lot of
Speaker 13: new characters to the Star Wars franchise, but there is
Speaker 13: one character in particular who isn't getting the warmest welcome
Speaker 13: from the fans.
Speaker 14: This morning, Obi Wan Kenobi himself putting his force behind
Speaker 14: costar Moses Ingram, where after social media users launched racist
Speaker 14: attacks against her after her debut in the Jedi Knights
Speaker 14: new series.
Speaker 6: She brings so much to the series. She brings so
Speaker 6: much to the franchise, and it just sickened me to
Speaker 6: my stomach to hear that this has been happening. We
Speaker 6: stand with Moses, We love Moses, and if you're sending
Speaker 6: her bullying messages, you're no Star Wars found in my mind.
Speaker 14: Moses, sharing she had received hundreds of racist messages following
Speaker 14: the series premiere.
Speaker 15: There's nothing anybody can do to stop this hate. I
Speaker 15: think the thing that bothers me is they're like sort
Speaker 15: of this feeling that I've had inside of myself, which
Speaker 15: no one has told me, but this feeling of like
Speaker 15: I just gotta shut up and take it, and I'm
Speaker 15: not deal like that.
Speaker 2: Neither should you be.
Speaker 13: No one should have to just shut up and take racism.
Speaker 13: I agree with that, especially in Star Wars, like what
Speaker 13: is this? What is this?
Speaker 1: You racist?
Speaker 13: Installed? Like from the very beginning, this has been a
Speaker 13: series where no one thinks twice if Harrison Ford is
Speaker 13: best friends with a giant dog bear, or if a
Speaker 13: brother and sister want to smash, no one complains about
Speaker 13: that they're not getting death threats. I am so tired
Speaker 13: of fans attacking black people in Star Wars when there
Speaker 13: are so many other racism species they could be backing
Speaker 13: to bigoted against Think about it, you could hate everyone
Speaker 13: going to rant about the creepy twilex, you know, or
Speaker 13: the greedy jawas.
Speaker 16: There's so many more opportunities for racism than just black people.
Speaker 16: Mix it up, broaden your horizons, you know. Or is
Speaker 16: the ewok saying never? You know, I gotta think bigger.
Speaker 7: It really is.
Speaker 12: Get out there.
Speaker 13: And you know, it's really great that even McGregor made
Speaker 13: a video supporting his co star. But I think Star
Speaker 13: Wars needs to come back even harder at the racists.
Speaker 13: Really make them suffer. You should give Princess Leah and
Speaker 13: you black boyfriend.
Speaker 17: Yeah, that's right, it's gonna be a dope scene. It's
Speaker 17: gonna come back in and be like, hey, yo, Leya,
Speaker 17: I got the plans for the Death Star We going tonight.
Speaker 13: Star Wars, the sci fi movie that made incest cool.
Speaker 13: For almost fifty years, James Earl Jones has been the
Speaker 13: voice behind Darth Vader, the most famous villain in movie
Speaker 13: history and most famous asthmatic. But on Friday, Disney announced
Speaker 13: that the force is gonna be moving on.
Speaker 5: James Old Jones is reportedly retiring from voicing Darth Vader,
Speaker 5: but Star Wars fans may not even notice. Vanity Fair
Speaker 5: says the ninety one year old actor has signed off
Speaker 5: on a plan to use artificial intelligence to craft new
Speaker 5: dialogue from his old voice recordings.
Speaker 13: You say the little mum maid becomes black and they
Speaker 13: take away gentle Jones.
Speaker 7: Hi, I told you that'd be backlash.
Speaker 1: I told you.
Speaker 2: Oh no, I'm joking.
Speaker 1: I'm joking. I'm joking.
Speaker 13: The legendary actor has retired from doing the voice. That's
Speaker 13: all that happened. And what's interesting to me is that
Speaker 13: you hear what they said. Instead of trying to find
Speaker 13: someone else to voice the pod, Disney has said they're
Speaker 13: gonna use artificial intelligence to replicate Darth Vada's voice.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 13: People, this makes me a little nervous. Yeah, we think
Speaker 13: AI is gonna take over the world, and now we're
Speaker 13: gonna teach it to use the dark side of the force.
Speaker 1: No one thinks this.
Speaker 2: Is a bad idea, But I get it. I get it.
Speaker 13: I mean that voice is iconic, you know, it belongs
Speaker 13: in Darth Vader's body or announcing CNN promos.
Speaker 1: But that's it.
Speaker 13: That's the last thing we need. The last thing we
Speaker 13: need is them opening the role up to like other
Speaker 13: famous people, like they could. You know when they do
Speaker 13: that with roles, and then it becomes weird, you know.
Speaker 13: Can you imagine Darth Vada being voiced by someone else? Luke,
Speaker 13: I am your father, but until your mama shows me
Speaker 13: the paternity test, you can just call me uncle Doth.
Speaker 1: I'm far our main story tonight. I am your father.
Speaker 1: That's right, Luke, I am your daddy.
Speaker 7: And yes, that upsets me as much as it upsets you, Luke.
Speaker 2: A lot of.
Speaker 7: People are saying I'm your father, Luke.
Speaker 1: They're saying they've.
Speaker 13: Never seen a bed of father, and they're right.
Speaker 1: I love all my children.
Speaker 13: It's you, It's Ivanka, and that's it.
Speaker 1: Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by
Speaker 1: searching The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts. Watch
Speaker 1: The Daily Show week nights at eleven.
Speaker 12: Ten Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime
Speaker 12: on Paramount.
Speaker 7: Plus Paramount Podcasts.
Speaker 1: Here it is You're on you May the Fourth be
Speaker 1: with you. It is Star Wars Day and.
Speaker 2: That means it is time Jen to get out those lightsabers.
Speaker 7: A console will be made listen.
Speaker 2: We ah, she even does this append you're not my mother?
Speaker 2: Do we like light savor each other?
Speaker 9: I mean, I guess we could get the hair that's
Speaker 9: a wok man's