WEBVTT - I’m on the Ground with Ali Grant 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:00.840 Trigger warning. 0:00:00.840 --> 0:00:03.560 For this episode, we're going to be talking about mental health, 0:00:03.680 --> 0:00:06.160 postpartum depression, and trying to conceive. 0:00:06.320 --> 0:00:10.000 Scrubbing in with Becatilly and Tanya Brad and iHeartRadio and 0:00:10.080 --> 0:00:18.640 People's Choice Award winning podcast. Hello, everybody, we are scrubbing in. 0:00:19.360 --> 0:00:23.440 That is an unfamiliar voice because Tanya is gallivanting around 0:00:23.440 --> 0:00:27.800 Italy and scrubbing in with me today. Is my best 0:00:27.800 --> 0:00:33.320 friend manager Randy. To my clin Ali Grant, Welcome, though, 0:00:34.200 --> 0:00:36.720 I am so excited to be scrubbing in today. I'm 0:00:36.720 --> 0:00:40.159 so happy that you're here because you were here. I'm 0:00:40.159 --> 0:00:42.280 trying to think of when that was. Was that before 0:00:42.320 --> 0:00:43.160 or after your wedding? 0:00:43.200 --> 0:00:45.720 Because so much has happened since you were last on 0:00:45.760 --> 0:00:46.400 the podcast. 0:00:46.560 --> 0:00:50.000 I think it was right before my wedding. Oh it 0:00:50.040 --> 0:00:51.960 was pre what I think it was? Or was it 0:00:52.360 --> 0:00:57.160 two years ago? Yeah? A whole child since then, been 0:00:57.360 --> 0:01:01.840 pregnant since I think it was before the wedding or 0:01:01.880 --> 0:01:04.200 maybe like directly after. Yeah, it's a while, it's. 0:01:04.120 --> 0:01:04.600 Been a while. 0:01:04.680 --> 0:01:07.920 And we did have a slight breakdown trying to get 0:01:07.959 --> 0:01:11.880 her camera adjusted before this, and they had me seated 0:01:11.920 --> 0:01:13.679 next to her and I was like, she is We're 0:01:13.720 --> 0:01:17.920 not like Tanya, She's we need space, so we're like touching. 0:01:18.160 --> 0:01:20.360 We don't like I don't even really like looking at you, 0:01:20.600 --> 0:01:27.080 to be honest, I'm just gonna stare at John podcast today. Yeah. 0:01:27.120 --> 0:01:30.279 So we have a very it's like a very banter, 0:01:30.440 --> 0:01:33.440 heavy friendship, which I love. I love it. 0:01:34.640 --> 0:01:35.600 I don't even know where to begin. 0:01:35.640 --> 0:01:37.440 I feel like people have been wanting to have you 0:01:37.480 --> 0:01:41.679 on the podcast because I think cute. I think that 0:01:42.400 --> 0:01:46.000 you have recently been talking more about your experience of 0:01:46.760 --> 0:01:49.880 you know, getting pregnant and then postpartum, and you were 0:01:49.960 --> 0:01:52.480 kind of quiet for a while on socials, which people 0:01:52.560 --> 0:01:57.800 are not used to because you just been posted yeah quiet. 0:01:58.720 --> 0:02:01.880 I feel like we should start with wanting to have kids, Like, 0:02:02.280 --> 0:02:03.320 wanting to have kids? 0:02:03.400 --> 0:02:04.440 Was that something that. 0:02:04.760 --> 0:02:08.200 You've I want you to talk about this too. Oh okay, 0:02:08.280 --> 0:02:10.440 I talk about it on the podcast. If you were listening. 0:02:10.680 --> 0:02:14.320 I listened to every episode, I like take notes right right? Yeah? 0:02:14.400 --> 0:02:19.600 Yeah you forgot. I forgot that you've talked about that before. Yeah. 0:02:19.600 --> 0:02:21.840 I mean I think I was like such an on 0:02:21.919 --> 0:02:26.079 the fencer what you call it for so long. It's 0:02:26.080 --> 0:02:28.079 like I would be around other people's kids and I'd 0:02:28.080 --> 0:02:31.280 be like, I don't want this, this sounds horrible. I 0:02:31.320 --> 0:02:33.440 love to sleep, like I'm like a sleeper like you, 0:02:33.520 --> 0:02:35.960 like I need ten hours to feel good in the morning. 0:02:37.280 --> 0:02:39.320 And I loved my life like I did, like I 0:02:39.360 --> 0:02:42.960 was very comfortable, you know, like feeling really really good. 0:02:43.000 --> 0:02:46.080 And I felt like the decision around having kids was 0:02:46.120 --> 0:02:48.040 like a really big one for me. I was never 0:02:48.200 --> 0:02:51.280 like a little girl that like dreamed of being a mommy, 0:02:51.400 --> 0:02:53.560 you know, like I never had that. It was never 0:02:53.639 --> 0:02:57.920 interesting to me. But the thing that I don't even 0:02:57.919 --> 0:03:00.280 know if you know this, the thing that changed me 0:03:00.360 --> 0:03:03.760 the most is that I saw a psychic at like 0:03:03.960 --> 0:03:04.960 someone's party. 0:03:05.280 --> 0:03:06.680 Do you know that, Oh you did tell me this? 0:03:06.800 --> 0:03:09.600 Yeah yeah. And I was like I'm going to ask her, 0:03:09.760 --> 0:03:11.880 like like I'm going to ask her if I should 0:03:11.919 --> 0:03:14.760 have kids. And she was like she sat me down 0:03:14.840 --> 0:03:17.960 and whatever, like felt my aura. She was like, you 0:03:18.320 --> 0:03:21.840 have souls waiting for you, Ali woa, And I like 0:03:22.000 --> 0:03:25.200 burst into tears, like when you hear it that way, 0:03:25.280 --> 0:03:27.680 like you have souls waiting for you. It's like, I 0:03:27.680 --> 0:03:31.200 don't know, it like shifted for me completely. And Remy 0:03:31.280 --> 0:03:33.280 is like such my little soul. That was like meant 0:03:33.280 --> 0:03:35.960 for me, like I really really do feel that way. Yeah, 0:03:35.960 --> 0:03:38.720 but that was something that like helped me decide. But 0:03:38.760 --> 0:03:42.120 I also read some books, some like op Eds. I Like, 0:03:42.440 --> 0:03:44.520 I would go like rogue on my Instagram stories, be 0:03:44.520 --> 0:03:46.400 like should I have kids? And like let people way 0:03:46.480 --> 0:03:50.120 in and like I was like crowdsourcing a very very 0:03:50.160 --> 0:03:55.480 personal decision. It's something that is so different for every 0:03:55.480 --> 0:03:59.000 everyone person. Yeah, it's all circumstantial, right, Like it's all relative. 0:04:00.720 --> 0:04:02.560 And my mom, like I've talked to you about this. 0:04:02.680 --> 0:04:05.040 My mom would be like nah. Like I did not 0:04:05.160 --> 0:04:07.120 have like a like parents being like when are you 0:04:07.200 --> 0:04:09.440 having kids? Like my mom would be like, eh, nah, 0:04:09.440 --> 0:04:11.600 you don't need kids. It's fine, They're not worth it. 0:04:12.880 --> 0:04:15.560 So I never I just didn't have that pressure, which 0:04:15.560 --> 0:04:17.120 I feel like a lot of women do like that, 0:04:17.320 --> 0:04:19.240 like to have grandkids. Yeah yeah, it's like when did 0:04:19.279 --> 0:04:22.560 my grandkids? And never had that question. But yeah, I 0:04:22.560 --> 0:04:24.840 mean we ultimately just like decided and we were like, 0:04:25.240 --> 0:04:29.599 let's do this. His identical twin got pregnant, and like 0:04:29.680 --> 0:04:31.839 identical twins like have a thing where they all have 0:04:31.880 --> 0:04:34.000 to like always do the same thing. So he was 0:04:34.000 --> 0:04:36.479 like okay, now, like he was he was ready, like 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:39.240 mentally when I was like already kind of there and 0:04:39.279 --> 0:04:42.680 then so we just tried. And then so you were 0:04:42.720 --> 0:04:46.480 there before Carston was there. Yeah, like totally quietly maybe 0:04:46.520 --> 0:04:49.000 like I did it because I didn't want to be 0:04:49.080 --> 0:04:51.160 the one like let's have kids, and then like we 0:04:51.200 --> 0:04:52.960 like regretted it or something, and then like I was 0:04:52.960 --> 0:04:54.840 the one to blame, if that made sense, Like I 0:04:54.880 --> 0:04:57.640 wanted him to come to that decision on his own, 0:04:58.920 --> 0:05:00.440 and so I just was like yeah, like I kind 0:05:00.440 --> 0:05:01.839 of was just like, yeah, I don't know, could go 0:05:01.880 --> 0:05:03.640 either way. Like that was kind of like what I 0:05:03.640 --> 0:05:07.159 would say to people and to him. So y'all got married, uh, 0:05:07.400 --> 0:05:11.599 May twenty twenty four. Yeah, and then like that, when 0:05:11.640 --> 0:05:14.040 did y'all Like when do you feel like but before 0:05:14.080 --> 0:05:16.039 the wedding, had you felt like you wanted kids? Did 0:05:16.040 --> 0:05:17.880 the psychic thing happened before your wedding or was it 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:23.840 after the psychic thing happened before by wedding? Yeah, I 0:05:24.160 --> 0:05:27.640 went into like the wedding, wedding kids, but you were 0:05:27.640 --> 0:05:31.480 pretty I feel like our conversations were very like cool 0:05:31.520 --> 0:05:33.039 about it because I just like I don't know, I 0:05:33.080 --> 0:05:35.440 like didn't I didn't also want to get like too 0:05:35.480 --> 0:05:38.040 excited about the idea and then it be like I 0:05:38.160 --> 0:05:40.760 really wanted my partner to be like all in on it, 0:05:40.880 --> 0:05:43.800 right right, Like that's like it's such a fifty well 0:05:44.440 --> 0:05:46.280 most of it's like only on the woman, but like 0:05:47.040 --> 0:05:50.560 raising a kid as fifty to fifteen totally. So I 0:05:50.839 --> 0:05:52.880 like I get I don't know, like probably like nearer 0:05:52.920 --> 0:05:55.800 around the wedding is like when I was like you 0:05:55.880 --> 0:05:58.640 locked in, I locked in. I was like, because remember 0:05:58.760 --> 0:06:01.880 I stopped drinking. I kind of went on like my 0:06:02.600 --> 0:06:07.680 health mode directly after that, so I like I had 0:06:07.720 --> 0:06:09.080 like an inkling in the mind. 0:06:09.279 --> 0:06:11.280 Yeah, but the drinking was for anxiety. 0:06:11.320 --> 0:06:15.680 I feel like initially stopped drinking because it was anxiety. Yeah, 0:06:15.760 --> 0:06:18.880 that's like the whole thing. Yeah, drinking causes severe anxiety 0:06:18.920 --> 0:06:21.000 for me, and I'm so glad I don't drink now, 0:06:21.120 --> 0:06:23.080 Like I will have like a margarita and like be 0:06:23.160 --> 0:06:23.679 on the floor. 0:06:23.800 --> 0:06:27.360 Yeah one hit wonder, might one might say full one 0:06:27.400 --> 0:06:29.800 hit wonder when did y'all start trying? 0:06:29.839 --> 0:06:32.839 Like what was the process of trying to conceive and everything? 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:36.080 So you know me like I am so like everything 0:06:36.160 --> 0:06:38.880 has to be planned and structured and I like need 0:06:38.920 --> 0:06:39.880 to control. 0:06:39.839 --> 0:06:42.640 So tonya actually very y'all are so different, but y'all 0:06:42.680 --> 0:06:44.280 are so similar in in. 0:06:44.200 --> 0:06:48.080 That way way. Yeah. Yeah, Like I'm Type A, but 0:06:48.080 --> 0:06:51.920 I'm also like extremely type B. It's weird. I'm almost 0:06:52.000 --> 0:06:58.000 like a mix of you, like IM don't call me 0:06:58.040 --> 0:07:04.320 that though. When was it that we started to try? 0:07:04.480 --> 0:07:04.560 So? 0:07:04.560 --> 0:07:09.640 I got married in May. I got pregnant in November, yeah, 0:07:10.040 --> 0:07:13.080 because we found out at Morgan's Morgan's wedding when I 0:07:13.160 --> 0:07:15.440 was like three and a half weeks for I didn't 0:07:15.480 --> 0:07:19.480 even miss my period yet. We use something called a nido, 0:07:19.560 --> 0:07:22.280 which is like a like a like a tracker thing, 0:07:22.360 --> 0:07:25.720 like it tells you when you're like being fertile or not. 0:07:25.960 --> 0:07:27.840 So we use that from day one. I read this 0:07:27.880 --> 0:07:29.480 book I forget the name of it. It's like some 0:07:29.560 --> 0:07:32.480 fertility book I got on Amazon, and it like talked 0:07:32.480 --> 0:07:37.800 about keeping your feet warm, to like getting acupuncture kind 0:07:37.840 --> 0:07:40.960 of like holistic wellness to like get pregnant. And I 0:07:41.040 --> 0:07:42.840 like really like took it all heart. So that's why 0:07:42.840 --> 0:07:46.000 I like stopped caffeine, I stopped drinking, like I just 0:07:46.040 --> 0:07:49.920 tried to like live this like very like cozy, warm, calm, 0:07:49.920 --> 0:07:54.400 soft yeah life, and I feel like it's like an 0:07:54.440 --> 0:07:57.120 interesting method, Like all of it kind of makes sense 0:07:57.200 --> 0:07:59.600 and like acupuncture to me like really makes sense too. 0:08:00.760 --> 0:08:04.360 So anyways, did all of that We tried once, so 0:08:04.520 --> 0:08:09.120 we had sex once one day six marriage. No, Like 0:08:09.200 --> 0:08:11.160 the amount of times you actually have to have sex 0:08:11.240 --> 0:08:15.200 during trying to conceive is crazy, Like it's literally fourteen 0:08:15.280 --> 0:08:17.160 days in a row, like you are like raw, like 0:08:17.240 --> 0:08:20.880 it is like it is like what are you and 0:08:20.960 --> 0:08:24.840 not to be like rude to Carson, but are you 0:08:24.960 --> 0:08:27.560 enjoying it? Or is it like like business like it 0:08:27.680 --> 0:08:30.200 is like get your ass over here and we're having 0:08:30.240 --> 0:08:34.719 sex and like just laid out. It's not like it's 0:08:34.800 --> 0:08:36.400 kind of I mean for other people maybe it is 0:08:36.480 --> 0:08:39.280 like enjoyable thing, but it felt very like transactional, right, 0:08:39.320 --> 0:08:42.000 like let's let's get this done right, and then you 0:08:42.040 --> 0:08:44.720 have to have your feet up after. Like nothing about 0:08:44.760 --> 0:08:49.600 it is like sensual or whatever. Although having an orgasm 0:08:49.640 --> 0:08:52.600 for the woman I feel like really helps you conceive, 0:08:53.080 --> 0:09:01.480 really is it fact? No, it's like it's told me that. No, 0:09:01.559 --> 0:09:03.680 but just like think about like having an orgasm and 0:09:03.760 --> 0:09:06.920 like what happens down there and like since it like 0:09:07.080 --> 0:09:10.680 opens things up, you know, and then like the sperm, and. 0:09:10.559 --> 0:09:13.839 I don't have the experience personally, not experiencing. 0:09:14.280 --> 0:09:17.280 I know. That's another thing that I feel strongly about, 0:09:17.400 --> 0:09:19.480 is like the woman should have or try to have 0:09:19.480 --> 0:09:23.079 an orgasm. So try to make it as pleasurable as 0:09:23.160 --> 0:09:25.480 getting your micrator out if you need to. Yeah, yeah, 0:09:25.559 --> 0:09:30.120 you know. Okay, so y'all had one sex. I was 0:09:30.120 --> 0:09:32.320 trying to think. I think the first time we did it, 0:09:32.400 --> 0:09:35.240 we did it like like it's like two days before 0:09:35.280 --> 0:09:39.840 your ovulaty and then like ovulation day, and then like 0:09:39.880 --> 0:09:42.760 three days after you ovulate, so it's like a matter 0:09:42.800 --> 0:09:45.240 of a week. That's like your window and then whatever. 0:09:45.960 --> 0:09:50.840 I like swore I was pregnant, but I wasn't, no, 0:09:50.880 --> 0:09:54.800 because we were in Vegas. Yea, yeah is that? Yeah? 0:09:54.840 --> 0:09:59.200 Remember I was like, I'm definitely I felt it, but 0:09:59.280 --> 0:10:01.920 I wasn't. And and the reason I feel like I wasn't, well, 0:10:01.960 --> 0:10:03.839 I'm sure there's a million reasons. The chances of getting 0:10:03.840 --> 0:10:07.719 pregnant in any one session or whatever is really really low. 0:10:07.760 --> 0:10:10.000 It's like fifteen or twenty percent. It's not crazy, and 0:10:10.160 --> 0:10:12.000 like we're all grown up to like be like so 0:10:12.160 --> 0:10:14.640 afraid of like getting pregnant. Twenty four to seven, like 0:10:15.160 --> 0:10:17.360 it's I mean, obviously when you're like sixteen, it's easier, 0:10:17.360 --> 0:10:21.000 but like it's kind of crazy how hard getting pregnant is. 0:10:22.120 --> 0:10:26.080 But anyways, we use lube, and so lube I think 0:10:26.160 --> 0:10:28.280 kills the sperm. Not. I think. I think it's like 0:10:28.320 --> 0:10:31.280 a science thing that makes sense. I don't think you're 0:10:31.559 --> 0:10:33.640 I know, you're not like talking about sperm that much. 0:10:34.200 --> 0:10:39.199 I'm I'm a grown adult. I realize that. I realized 0:10:39.280 --> 0:10:42.640 people are navigating lives with sperm. Yeah, there's a lot 0:10:42.679 --> 0:10:46.920 that there is a lot of sperm floating around. So yeah, 0:10:46.960 --> 0:10:50.360 we used lube, and you know that just that just 0:10:50.440 --> 0:10:53.280 hurt the chances. Yeah, did not get pregnant. Second time 0:10:53.840 --> 0:10:58.760 we did get pregnant. Wow, Yeah, were you I didn't 0:10:58.800 --> 0:11:01.040 feel like, oh my god, even though you were trying 0:11:01.080 --> 0:11:02.880 to feel like, oh my gosh. Yeah, but you kind 0:11:02.880 --> 0:11:06.080 of are like wait what, Like you're like no, like 0:11:06.480 --> 0:11:09.120 are you sure? Like Carson's like no, you're not, No, 0:11:09.200 --> 0:11:10.800 You're not, no, You're not. Like I would show him 0:11:10.800 --> 0:11:12.240 the strip and he'd be like no, I don't think. 0:11:12.280 --> 0:11:14.320 So I think this is sooner than I was. 0:11:14.440 --> 0:11:17.080 Yeah, well, I mean I've just like in my mind 0:11:17.120 --> 0:11:18.760 like people tell you takes a year or more like 0:11:18.760 --> 0:11:21.280 like that was what was kind of like in my mind. 0:11:21.360 --> 0:11:24.560 So yeah, it was really quick, which I'm like, in 0:11:24.679 --> 0:11:27.600 hindsight like very feel like very grateful and blessed, and 0:11:27.760 --> 0:11:32.640 like the trying to conceive journey or era is like 0:11:32.760 --> 0:11:36.120 very sensitive and delicate, and there's like so much emotion 0:11:36.280 --> 0:11:39.920 that goes into it, including lots of heartbreak and excitement 0:11:39.960 --> 0:11:43.040 and ups and downs, and so it's like, I know 0:11:43.080 --> 0:11:46.439 also like my personality, I think I would have it 0:11:46.440 --> 0:11:48.440 would have been really hard for me, really really hard 0:11:48.440 --> 0:11:50.640 for me. And like you know number two if we 0:11:50.679 --> 0:11:52.880 do go down there, like who knows what's going to happen. 0:11:53.840 --> 0:11:56.440 But I feel very very blessed. And I do want 0:11:56.480 --> 0:11:58.680 to say that and preface that because it's trying to 0:11:58.679 --> 0:12:00.880 con see if it's it's and be very hard. 0:12:00.800 --> 0:12:03.840 And it's also there's so many there's so much information, 0:12:03.960 --> 0:12:06.760 there's so much advice and you're hearing yeah, people. 0:12:06.840 --> 0:12:08.400 Say you should do this, you should do this, and 0:12:08.440 --> 0:12:12.320 it feels it seems very overwhelming just from yeah, what 0:12:12.440 --> 0:12:15.880 I've learned of you know, friends going through it. Yeah, yeah, no, 0:12:16.000 --> 0:12:18.839 it's tough and there's and that's i think that there's 0:12:18.880 --> 0:12:22.120 so much noise around, like pregnancy and labor and trying 0:12:22.160 --> 0:12:25.160 to conceive, and like I think, like navigating that noise 0:12:25.280 --> 0:12:29.439 is really difficult too. You have any like influencer or 0:12:29.520 --> 0:12:31.640 whatever saying what they think is the right thing, Like 0:12:31.720 --> 0:12:34.080 even me just sitting here talking about what I think 0:12:34.160 --> 0:12:36.439 is right, Like, don't listen to me, like I'm an idiot, 0:12:36.559 --> 0:12:39.600 Like I have a degree in journalism literally everything. 0:12:39.640 --> 0:12:41.520 You have to do your research, and you have to 0:12:41.640 --> 0:12:44.320 do what is best for you and your your body 0:12:44.320 --> 0:12:45.959 and your lifestyle realistically. 0:12:46.080 --> 0:12:47.480 Yeah, and be realistic about it. 0:12:47.640 --> 0:12:51.559 Yeah, So you get pregnant, and let's talk about pregnancy 0:12:51.800 --> 0:12:53.680 as well on a doozy for all. 0:12:53.559 --> 0:12:58.640 Involved, Like, of course, my pregnancy was the way it 0:12:58.760 --> 0:13:01.680 was right, like it It's funny because like labor was 0:13:01.720 --> 0:13:04.600 really great and easy for me. Getting pregnant was really 0:13:04.640 --> 0:13:09.200 easy for me. My pregnancy, like I didn't have complications, 0:13:09.360 --> 0:13:14.520 but I was so sick, like so unwell, Like I 0:13:14.600 --> 0:13:17.960 was bedridden for probably like three or four months, well, 0:13:18.000 --> 0:13:21.040 definitely the first trimester. Yeah, and second it was up 0:13:21.080 --> 0:13:24.439 to twenty six weeks. I was still throwing up and nauseous, 0:13:24.640 --> 0:13:27.600 which is isn't that Like second end of second trimester. 0:13:27.720 --> 0:13:28.520 That's hard to say. 0:13:29.400 --> 0:13:32.720 I don't know, it's it's deep into the pregnancy. 0:13:32.800 --> 0:13:35.440 So you you did go past the first trimester with 0:13:35.520 --> 0:13:36.800 the nausea and all that. 0:13:37.040 --> 0:13:38.200 Yes, where were you were? 0:13:38.520 --> 0:13:40.160 I just felt like you were always tired. I didn't 0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:41.920 know you were still throwing me. 0:13:42.080 --> 0:13:46.200 I was tired, right. I would invite her just to 0:13:46.240 --> 0:13:48.320 be like I just so she can say I invited her, 0:13:48.360 --> 0:13:50.800 but I know she don't count her in. I missed 0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:57.280 my birthday, I missed Christmas, like Thanksgiving, like literally every holiday. 0:13:57.320 --> 0:14:01.400 I was just like so so bad it was. It 0:14:01.480 --> 0:14:04.439 was so rough, and everyone be like, oh, thirteen weeks, 0:14:04.480 --> 0:14:07.280 that's when like the what not seasickness whatever the hell 0:14:07.400 --> 0:14:10.960 is called morning is basically worse than seats sickness. Morning 0:14:11.000 --> 0:14:13.000 sickness will go away and you'll be fine. So was 0:14:13.000 --> 0:14:15.920 like counting down, like and then it's like fourteen weeks 0:14:16.000 --> 0:14:19.680 still here literally twenty six weeks. Whoa, yeah, I mean 0:14:19.800 --> 0:14:23.880 I was like in sweats, didn't brush my hair like sick. 0:14:23.960 --> 0:14:26.280 You got some good picks, yeah, good selfies. 0:14:26.400 --> 0:14:28.600 It wasn't my best time. I mean I also, like, 0:14:28.840 --> 0:14:31.080 I think you envision, like what you're going to be pregnant, 0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:35.080 and it's like you like cute belly ow, like we're the. 0:14:35.160 --> 0:14:38.360 Sun dress thing that was gonna better everything we know. 0:14:38.600 --> 0:14:40.800 I don't know. I don't know, and I'm always like 0:14:40.840 --> 0:14:45.160 a weak human. So yeah, we're talking about she comes. 0:14:45.280 --> 0:14:47.200 We would go on trips together and if we stayed 0:14:47.240 --> 0:14:47.920 in the same room. 0:14:48.000 --> 0:14:51.280 She brought her own fan. It was a whole thing 0:14:51.320 --> 0:14:54.520 of her item. She needed sell machine. She's an iPad kid, 0:14:54.640 --> 0:14:54.840 so she. 0:14:54.880 --> 0:14:59.520 Fell delicious and delicate and like needy and like I 0:14:59.640 --> 0:15:01.640 just have Yeah, And I think the thing with like 0:15:01.680 --> 0:15:04.960 being pregnant is like you lose all control of your body. 0:15:05.000 --> 0:15:08.200 Your body is literally not yours. And I think that 0:15:08.240 --> 0:15:12.480 feeling is really intense, like emotionally and physically, and like, 0:15:12.800 --> 0:15:14.480 I don't know, but we've had like so many like 0:15:14.520 --> 0:15:17.680 close friends have just the most amazing pregnancies as well. 0:15:17.840 --> 0:15:21.880 You're the only person I noticed they just like a like, 0:15:22.040 --> 0:15:25.520 I just complain a lot, like that's a part of it. No, 0:15:25.760 --> 0:15:28.960 because I think nausea and throwing up is miserable, Like 0:15:28.960 --> 0:15:31.120 I don't think there's anything more miserable than that. And 0:15:31.280 --> 0:15:33.520 I even if I have a night where I'm sick 0:15:33.560 --> 0:15:35.200 for just the night and then I feel better the 0:15:35.240 --> 0:15:35.560 next day. 0:15:35.600 --> 0:15:38.360 I always go, I don't know how people do this 0:15:38.520 --> 0:15:43.160 for months and months and months and months of no relief. 0:15:43.560 --> 0:15:45.720 I think that's the thing. Is like, yeah, like if 0:15:45.760 --> 0:15:47.680 you like are really sick and like have diarrhy or whatever, 0:15:47.680 --> 0:15:49.320 You're like, I'll be I'll be better in the morning. 0:15:49.880 --> 0:15:51.400 But it's like no, it's like I don't know if 0:15:51.440 --> 0:15:53.680 I want to be better in like three weeks from now. Yeah, 0:15:53.720 --> 0:15:55.640 like there's no end in sight. So how'd you get 0:15:55.640 --> 0:15:59.280 through it? Well? I tried zofran, which everyone was like, 0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:03.760 try so it's like the best thing ever. It didn't work. 0:16:03.920 --> 0:16:05.800 And then like I couldn't poop for like forty five 0:16:05.880 --> 0:16:10.640 days because it constant fates you like crazy. It didn't work. 0:16:10.720 --> 0:16:13.120 So that sucked because I was like I remember I 0:16:13.120 --> 0:16:14.840 got the prescription and I like took it and I 0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:16.480 was like, oh my gosh, and there was like one 0:16:16.480 --> 0:16:19.840 hour later, I'm like, I am still super sick. Didn't 0:16:19.880 --> 0:16:22.680 work for me at all. The only thing that worked 0:16:22.920 --> 0:16:26.840 is I would take unison like the sleeping tablet at 0:16:26.960 --> 0:16:29.840 night and then the next day would be like my 0:16:29.920 --> 0:16:32.920 best day. Oh so my obgian said to do that 0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:34.480 and it like was the only thing that worked for me. 0:16:34.600 --> 0:16:37.480 And then just like the most like guardettos, Like I 0:16:37.520 --> 0:16:40.640 would be like Carston go to seven eleven and like whatever, 0:16:40.720 --> 0:16:43.040 eleven PM, I need guardettos. And it was only like 0:16:43.040 --> 0:16:45.320 the little brown they have the bags of just the 0:16:45.320 --> 0:16:48.280 brown ones. No is that new? No? How long have 0:16:48.320 --> 0:16:48.800 they had that? 0:16:49.080 --> 0:16:49.560 Ears? 0:16:50.160 --> 0:16:54.080 Of course I gave that. Damn I would be plucking 0:16:54.120 --> 0:16:58.280 them out and yeah, you're pregnancy cravings were like my 0:16:58.720 --> 0:17:03.320 daily No, we talked, Yeah, I would have like a Gatorade, 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:05.879 like just like really process grows stuff that I just 0:17:05.920 --> 0:17:07.959 like normally wouldn't. And then I went into like a 0:17:08.000 --> 0:17:10.760 fruit phase where like I had to have watermelon, oranges, 0:17:10.880 --> 0:17:16.200 orange juice, pineapple, tomatoes, like I was obsessed with tomatoes. 0:17:16.200 --> 0:17:19.160 I'd also make like bloody mary mix. I just chug 0:17:19.240 --> 0:17:37.879 that down with salt. It's like it was weird. So, 0:17:38.520 --> 0:17:42.000 during this time you're navigating getting through it, are you 0:17:42.160 --> 0:17:45.119 thinking about giving birth? 0:17:45.200 --> 0:17:47.840 Because I think a lot of people that is there. 0:17:48.320 --> 0:17:51.159 They love the idea of being a mom or you know, 0:17:51.480 --> 0:17:55.320 a parent, but the idea of going through the process 0:17:55.359 --> 0:17:57.200 of labor is so terrifying. 0:17:57.760 --> 0:18:00.720 Were you thinking of that or did you think about that? 0:18:00.960 --> 0:18:03.840 No, I was like, weirdly never really terrified of it 0:18:03.920 --> 0:18:06.320 because I think my pregnancy was so sick and like 0:18:06.440 --> 0:18:09.480 unwell that I was like get him out and I 0:18:09.480 --> 0:18:11.600 don't care how like I just was like I'm ready 0:18:11.640 --> 0:18:14.840 to give birth. Yeah, Like I mean I would like 0:18:14.920 --> 0:18:18.399 see stuff like on social media and like be like 0:18:18.440 --> 0:18:20.640 a little freaked out and like for whatever reason, when 0:18:20.640 --> 0:18:23.240 you're pregnant, like people want to tell you their birth stories, 0:18:23.600 --> 0:18:26.879 and when they're like negative, I'm like shut up, like 0:18:26.920 --> 0:18:29.320 what are you doing? Like it's really crazy or like 0:18:29.359 --> 0:18:31.840 people's moms will be like my daughter was in labor 0:18:31.880 --> 0:18:34.000 for seventy two hours and that emerge. I'm like, are 0:18:34.000 --> 0:18:36.280 you good? Like why are you telling me this story? 0:18:36.320 --> 0:18:39.440 It's it's a really odd just to get too prepared, Yeah, 0:18:39.480 --> 0:18:41.199 you don't want to hear it. I think if like 0:18:41.560 --> 0:18:43.560 for me, like I try not to, like, well, mine 0:18:43.680 --> 0:18:45.520 was really positive, so I like say, but like I 0:18:45.520 --> 0:18:47.640 think it's best just to be like, you know, it'll 0:18:47.680 --> 0:18:50.800 be great, You'll be good, Like, don't tell your personal experience. 0:18:50.440 --> 0:18:54.199 So when when you can you tell the process of 0:18:54.240 --> 0:18:55.200 when you went into labor? 0:18:55.480 --> 0:19:01.720 Yeah, so when okay, that was whatever middle of the night, 0:19:01.880 --> 0:19:06.240 at like one am, I started getting like cramps. 0:19:05.840 --> 0:19:09.200 Like this was Tanya's birthday that you yes, because I 0:19:09.240 --> 0:19:09.520 was like. 0:19:09.680 --> 0:19:12.440 You cannot have a baby on to I need at least. 0:19:12.280 --> 0:19:15.880 One day, yeah, which I think it's like one day. 0:19:15.040 --> 0:19:19.359 So it was like one in the morning and I 0:19:19.400 --> 0:19:21.639 was getting like cramps, and I thought I was just 0:19:21.680 --> 0:19:25.399 having gas. I like, hit Carson. You know I'm a 0:19:25.440 --> 0:19:29.320 gassy girl. So I hit Carson. I'm like, oh my god, 0:19:29.359 --> 0:19:33.160 I'm like I'm having so much gas. He's like okay, 0:19:33.880 --> 0:19:35.439 And I was like, I'm gonna have a bowl cereal 0:19:35.480 --> 0:19:39.280 because that's gonna I know what will alleviate me. 0:19:41.720 --> 0:19:43.080 Cereals. 0:19:43.760 --> 0:19:45.720 I don't know. I mean at the time, it's probably 0:19:45.720 --> 0:19:48.080 like a puffins or something like that, or like the 0:19:48.080 --> 0:19:50.200 peanut butter puppose. 0:19:49.480 --> 0:19:52.120 Are so good for victory gas. 0:19:52.119 --> 0:19:56.080 Really. Yeah, So got my bowl of cereal and I 0:19:56.119 --> 0:19:58.640 was like really going away. And then I'm like I'm 0:19:58.680 --> 0:20:01.200 not farking also, so so it's like I'm not like 0:20:01.520 --> 0:20:03.760 this is weird. And I was like I'm gonna get 0:20:03.760 --> 0:20:06.240 the contraction app out because I'm like I feel I 0:20:06.400 --> 0:20:08.800 was what like two days away from my yeah, yeah, 0:20:08.840 --> 0:20:12.520 du day you're doing the twenty first Yeah. Yeah. So 0:20:12.640 --> 0:20:16.919 I was like, okay, this is probably it and it was, 0:20:17.160 --> 0:20:20.560 and so started tracking the contractions. It went from like 0:20:20.640 --> 0:20:23.600 zero to sixty like that, like it was like I'm 0:20:23.640 --> 0:20:26.520 going to fart to like I'm on the ground. Whoa. 0:20:27.160 --> 0:20:31.920