1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:04,440 Speaker 1: Welcome one and all to the Professional Homegirl Podcast. Before 2 00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:06,680 Speaker 1: we begin today's episode, we want to remind you that 3 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:09,399 Speaker 1: the views and opinions expressed on this podcast are those 4 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:12,200 Speaker 1: of the hosts and guests and are intended for educational 5 00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:15,960 Speaker 1: and entertaining purposes. In this safe space, no question is 6 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:19,280 Speaker 1: off limits because you never know how someone's storyline can 7 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:22,560 Speaker 1: be your lifeline. The Professional Homegirl Podcast is here to 8 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:26,240 Speaker 1: celebrate the diverse voices, stories and experiences of women of color, 9 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:30,200 Speaker 1: providing a platform for authentic and empowering conversations. There will 10 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:33,600 Speaker 1: be some key king, some tears, but most importantly a 11 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:37,919 Speaker 1: reminder that tough times don't last, but professional homegirls do 12 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:48,320 Speaker 1: enjoy the show. 13 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:54,520 Speaker 2: Hey, professional Homegirls, it'shagirl ebiney here, and how are y'all doing? 14 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 2: I ain't gonna hold you. I've been feeling really cute lately. 15 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:03,200 Speaker 2: I've just been in a spirit of gratitude. You know, 16 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:06,880 Speaker 2: I am just so thankful for life right now, and honestly, 17 00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:09,280 Speaker 2: it is really a flex to be able to do 18 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:12,639 Speaker 2: what you love, okay, and to also make a little coin. 19 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,800 Speaker 2: But you've already know your girl has been working harder 20 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:19,119 Speaker 2: than a two dollars home. So I got a few 21 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:22,240 Speaker 2: things that I would love to share with you all. 22 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:25,640 Speaker 2: First up, I've been working on my first ever turkey 23 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:29,200 Speaker 2: drive in Memphis. Now, for those who didn't know, even 24 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:31,199 Speaker 2: though I was born in New York, I was raised 25 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:35,280 Speaker 2: in Memphis. Yes I know, and giving back to Memphis 26 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:38,520 Speaker 2: it's really important to me Professional Homegirls, so stay tuned 27 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:41,720 Speaker 2: for more details. However, if you would like to donate 28 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:44,720 Speaker 2: a turkey, please please please hit me up at Hello 29 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:50,640 Speaker 2: at thephgpodcast dot com. Now, Spooky Series is coming up 30 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:52,840 Speaker 2: for October and I can't even believe it's about to 31 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,760 Speaker 2: be October, but Spooky Series is here and I am 32 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:58,840 Speaker 2: super super excited. So for those of you that are 33 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:02,400 Speaker 2: new to Spooky Series, for every week in October, we 34 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:07,000 Speaker 2: share a real, true life scary story. And y'all when 35 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:10,040 Speaker 2: I did it the last year. During this time, I 36 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:15,880 Speaker 2: interview a vampire child, yes, a vampire, a ghostbuster, a uthologist, 37 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:19,079 Speaker 2: and much more. So definitely go back and give those 38 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:22,480 Speaker 2: episodes some love. But if you gotta spoke your story 39 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:26,000 Speaker 2: to share, please do not hesitate to email me or 40 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:28,840 Speaker 2: you can hit me up on social media at the 41 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:32,919 Speaker 2: Professional Homegirl at the PHG Podcast and definitely DM me 42 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:37,480 Speaker 2: your story now. This week's guest reached out to me 43 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:41,239 Speaker 2: after listening to episode sixteen, My Journey with Cross Dressing, 44 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:45,320 Speaker 2: and he wanted to share that the episode didn't fully 45 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:52,280 Speaker 2: represent the experience of black heterosexual men who cross dress. Listen, 46 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:56,880 Speaker 2: my guest was extremely nervous, and we had several conversations 47 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:59,880 Speaker 2: about keeping his identity concealed, to the point where we 48 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:03,280 Speaker 2: even change his voice because listen, I am not in 49 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:08,160 Speaker 2: the business of messing up anybody's coins. Okay, this episode 50 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:11,480 Speaker 2: was definitely eye opening as he takes us through a 51 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:15,960 Speaker 2: thirty five plus your Journey of cross dressing, sharing details 52 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:20,360 Speaker 2: about his wife, awareness, paying homage to black women, and 53 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:25,600 Speaker 2: the isolation he sometimes feels. So get comfortable because My 54 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:30,600 Speaker 2: Journey with cross Dressing, Part two starts now. All right, 55 00:03:30,639 --> 00:03:32,359 Speaker 2: to my guests, thank you so much for being on 56 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:34,480 Speaker 2: the show. How you doing, How you feeling? 57 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:40,680 Speaker 3: I am well, we apprehensive but excited to be talking 58 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:43,080 Speaker 3: with you and this particular talking. 59 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:45,440 Speaker 2: Why are you being apprehensist? We've been keicky in for 60 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:48,440 Speaker 2: like what two hours now we have, but at. 61 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:51,119 Speaker 3: The same time, this is it's a little different, but 62 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:54,480 Speaker 3: nonetheless I feel like I'm a good hands, So up, great. 63 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:58,839 Speaker 2: Conversation exactly now before we begin, because we are going 64 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:01,480 Speaker 2: to touch on a topic that I have already discussed 65 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:05,400 Speaker 2: with a previous guest, and they bought this to my attention, 66 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:06,880 Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't know why I didn't think of this. 67 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,040 Speaker 2: So what are your pronouns? 68 00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:10,440 Speaker 4: Uh? 69 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:13,960 Speaker 3: Well, I mean this depends on as my pronouns are 70 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:17,120 Speaker 3: as I as I appear to the world. So in 71 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:22,880 Speaker 3: my everyday life it is E him, dude, and when 72 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:27,279 Speaker 3: and as and when appearing as my other's self, it's she, 73 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:29,599 Speaker 3: her and chick and chick. 74 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:33,200 Speaker 2: Okay, perfect, Now, how did you hear about the episode? 75 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:37,360 Speaker 2: Like did somebody send it to you or did you know? Okay, no, and. 76 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:43,560 Speaker 3: Just trying to find information and listening to podcasts and 77 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:48,000 Speaker 3: type in a search word, and there was and you 78 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:52,080 Speaker 3: don't get a chance to hear black people talking about 79 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:55,800 Speaker 3: this particular topic as it contains two black people, and 80 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:59,960 Speaker 3: so immediately grabbed my attention and I immediately started to listen. 81 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:01,960 Speaker 3: Popped in the air prods and start listening. 82 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:04,800 Speaker 2: Now, when you first listened to the episode title I 83 00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:08,760 Speaker 2: Am a Black cross Dresser, where were your initial thoughts? 84 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:16,320 Speaker 3: Hope, Hope, that a story would be told that would 85 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:20,240 Speaker 3: not lend itself to stereotypes. 86 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:26,920 Speaker 2: Right, So, when you finished the episode, over your thoughts, I. 87 00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:29,440 Speaker 3: Heard some I heard some good stuff, but I heard 88 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:33,039 Speaker 3: a lot of things that were not applicable to my 89 00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:37,840 Speaker 3: situation and did not vibe with what things that with 90 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:42,360 Speaker 3: my story, And so it forced me I would I guess, 91 00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:44,200 Speaker 3: I'm we're going so far as to say it forced 92 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:50,200 Speaker 3: me to contact you to say, that's not that that's 93 00:05:50,279 --> 00:05:52,560 Speaker 3: a story, it's not the story. 94 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:56,640 Speaker 2: Right now, listen, y'all. My guess. He sent me a 95 00:05:56,720 --> 00:06:00,320 Speaker 2: whole thesis and he had my full attention. I was 96 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,400 Speaker 2: in the meeting, I was like, what was this? And 97 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:04,159 Speaker 2: we were just going back and forth like it felt 98 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:05,920 Speaker 2: like we knew each other for a very long time. 99 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:10,240 Speaker 3: It felt that way because I think, and that's a 100 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:14,360 Speaker 3: credit to you because of how you present yourself and 101 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,720 Speaker 3: you put people in a space of place where you're 102 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:22,599 Speaker 3: asking logical questions that aren't offensive, and so it makes 103 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:26,600 Speaker 3: somebody want to be able to say, hey, I appreciate 104 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:29,960 Speaker 3: the work that you did, but there's something else that 105 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:30,760 Speaker 3: didn't get covered. 106 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:34,880 Speaker 2: Yeah. Now you mentioned in the email that my guest 107 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:38,880 Speaker 2: representation that black cross dressers doesn't capture the full picture. 108 00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:42,520 Speaker 2: So what aspects of crossdressing cross dressing, particularly within the 109 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:46,000 Speaker 2: Black community, do you feel are often overlooked or misunderstood. 110 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:51,600 Speaker 3: So I'll go in the order it was presently overlooked 111 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:57,599 Speaker 3: is the fact that you can have people who are truly, truly, 112 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:03,000 Speaker 3: truly heterosexual and this as a part of their personality 113 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:07,720 Speaker 3: or a part of their identity. So I think that's overlooked. 114 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:12,600 Speaker 3: It is not seeking sex from anybody, whether it's an 115 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:18,640 Speaker 3: man or woman. It's not bodder or a porn site, 116 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:23,200 Speaker 3: it's not anything like that. It's it's a part of 117 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:25,640 Speaker 3: an identity, no more than somebody's left or right handed. 118 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:29,040 Speaker 3: It's a part of an identity. And that's what I 119 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:32,960 Speaker 3: feel needed to be highlighted. And what I got from 120 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:37,960 Speaker 3: the initial interview was kind of I didn't really feel 121 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:43,520 Speaker 3: like that was the like that got accomplished, and so 122 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:47,760 Speaker 3: I wanted to wanted I discovered the need to reach out, 123 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:51,680 Speaker 3: and so yeah, that was that, And so you said 124 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,360 Speaker 3: that was the one thing, and then the other part 125 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:57,960 Speaker 3: of the question was mistood misunderstood, and so I think 126 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:01,760 Speaker 3: that those were those work hand in hand, and so 127 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:05,800 Speaker 3: what I just said words hand in hand with being misunderstood, 128 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,400 Speaker 3: or somebody saying, oh, you must have been in vice 129 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,960 Speaker 3: as a child, No, that's that's that's not my situation, 130 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:14,880 Speaker 3: or someone saying, uh, you must have been raised in 131 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:18,520 Speaker 3: an all female home. No, that's not my case. I 132 00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:23,760 Speaker 3: would be I would have been classified as a job, 133 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:30,800 Speaker 3: a big job back in in my in the earlier 134 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:35,440 Speaker 3: factors of my life. So and and nobody in my 135 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:38,839 Speaker 3: life would be able to say, oh, yeah, I always 136 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:40,920 Speaker 3: knew you were a cross, Like hell, you do know 137 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:44,240 Speaker 3: you don't You had no clue because and you had 138 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:47,400 Speaker 3: no clue for two reasons, one because I never told you. 139 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:49,520 Speaker 3: In two and I know this is going to sound bad. 140 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:51,200 Speaker 3: I don't want to sound sinister, but I know how 141 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,079 Speaker 3: to cover my tracks well enough that you would know, 142 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:56,960 Speaker 3: right right, So those are the things that I would 143 00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:59,680 Speaker 3: want that that I that I took from that. And 144 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:05,480 Speaker 3: so it was very it came across no shame or 145 00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:13,599 Speaker 3: no no distward, and that's aging myself toward anybody who 146 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:18,040 Speaker 3: feels something else. But it kind of came across as 147 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:21,880 Speaker 3: somewhat sexual, and that's just not that's not it. And 148 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:26,040 Speaker 3: it's no sexual connotation here. So that's what that was 149 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:27,840 Speaker 3: mind tent for reaching out, and that's what I felt 150 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:29,880 Speaker 3: like people might not get if they listened to that. 151 00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:33,199 Speaker 3: I felt like they would walk away saying yeah, kind 152 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,439 Speaker 3: of what I thought, you know, that type of thing, 153 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:39,560 Speaker 3: or somebody kind of coming away saying, oh yeah, yeah, 154 00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:41,599 Speaker 3: that's what I thought. They all kind of like and 155 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:46,360 Speaker 3: ask to use a terminology or a burbage. That might 156 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:48,719 Speaker 3: be a little bit kind of ascending to some but 157 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,320 Speaker 3: if you just kind of having a regular conversation with people, 158 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:53,199 Speaker 3: that's something that they do is might say on another 159 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,839 Speaker 3: and that's not it. I've had I've had a ton 160 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:58,640 Speaker 3: of physical fights, not to not knock glorifying or a 161 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:01,520 Speaker 3: hyper hypers social life and fighting. But I'm just saying, 162 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:04,280 Speaker 3: you would not get us out well you know, on 163 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,720 Speaker 3: the ass fuck with me, but you know that that's 164 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:10,520 Speaker 3: that's that's I mean. I don't come from that kind 165 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:13,240 Speaker 3: of thing where I just like and delicate. That's not it. 166 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,400 Speaker 3: I don't even present it that nobody would take me 167 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:19,800 Speaker 3: in like delicicture. I don't so I'm sixcelling. So people 168 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:23,880 Speaker 3: don't think of me like that. They're like, yes, it's 169 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:25,240 Speaker 3: like okay, there you go. Right. 170 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:27,840 Speaker 2: Well, you also made a good point, which I agree 171 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:31,320 Speaker 2: with you, is when people think, uh, black cross dressers, 172 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:36,800 Speaker 2: they are automatically associated with homosexuality. So how do you 173 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:39,800 Speaker 2: navigate those misconceptions in your personal and social life? 174 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:43,240 Speaker 3: Uh So, in my personal life, I mean, so I 175 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:49,079 Speaker 3: am married, So my my spouse is abundantly clear, she 176 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:52,560 Speaker 3: knows that is not that that's not a problem in 177 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:54,240 Speaker 3: our household. And I don't want to say a problem, 178 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,480 Speaker 3: because there's some people who have to suppress their life. 179 00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:57,760 Speaker 3: So I don't want to make it sound like that's 180 00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:00,959 Speaker 3: a that's she's the word problem. That that's not That's 181 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,280 Speaker 3: not a thing for me. That's not a thing in 182 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:08,360 Speaker 3: my life where I feel some sort of pool sociological 183 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:13,400 Speaker 3: psychological pool towards saying I'm suppressing or pool toward homosexuality 184 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:16,559 Speaker 3: pool or feel like I'm not being my true suf. 185 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:20,640 Speaker 3: I absolutely don't have that issue. So, yeah, it's not 186 00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:25,600 Speaker 3: a sexual thing for me. It's a sense of enjoyment. 187 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:28,480 Speaker 3: But it's also a sense of paying homage. And so 188 00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:32,560 Speaker 3: again it's not sexual. It's just it's a way for 189 00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:37,480 Speaker 3: me to display and a part of my personality. 190 00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:41,280 Speaker 2: Hey, you another thing that we touched on is because 191 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:43,760 Speaker 2: when I was doing research for this conversation with my 192 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:46,360 Speaker 2: previous guest, you know, I told you that I felt like, 193 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,959 Speaker 2: when it came to the black cross dressers, it was 194 00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:51,559 Speaker 2: very like sexual but when it comes to the white 195 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:54,080 Speaker 2: cross dresser, it was like they just put it on 196 00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:56,720 Speaker 2: the dress. They're looking pretty and keeping it moving. So 197 00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:59,079 Speaker 2: why do you think that there is a difference between 198 00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:02,760 Speaker 2: how both This is our representatives because we. 199 00:12:02,679 --> 00:12:07,840 Speaker 4: Live in a world that ends contradictory, and so what 200 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:10,080 Speaker 4: I mean by that is this, black people are hyper 201 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:14,880 Speaker 4: Black people are hyper sexualized, and on television, black people 202 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:16,120 Speaker 4: are hyper sexual lives. 203 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:18,440 Speaker 3: Day to day lives, men and women. That's why I 204 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:22,280 Speaker 3: say black people, black people, black men, black women, black 205 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:26,280 Speaker 3: trans women, black transmit black people. Everybody falls up on that. 206 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:30,360 Speaker 3: Black kids are considered to be hyper sexualized. And so 207 00:12:30,559 --> 00:12:33,720 Speaker 3: when you think of something that is not considered normal, 208 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:37,040 Speaker 3: it throws it into hyperspace where people say, see, that's 209 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,320 Speaker 3: what it is. They just know, that's how they think, 210 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:42,040 Speaker 3: that's how they function. That's not true. Now here's the 211 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:44,800 Speaker 3: contradictory part. But as Black folks, we don't talk about 212 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:47,360 Speaker 3: sex and the household. We don't even educate our children 213 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,160 Speaker 3: about sex. More more Black kids find out about sex 214 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:54,559 Speaker 3: through experimentation versus being told, hey, you have a body, 215 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:57,079 Speaker 3: there's nothing wrong with your body. Your body, it was 216 00:12:57,120 --> 00:13:00,520 Speaker 3: a blessing from a higher power. This is how you 217 00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:03,079 Speaker 3: share your body with somebody that you feel especially enough 218 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:05,880 Speaker 3: that they can receive that gift. But we don't talk 219 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:08,520 Speaker 3: about that. So then you have people that find out 220 00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:13,319 Speaker 3: real life lessons by way of things that are are 221 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:18,640 Speaker 3: our unfortunate circumstances. And so it's frustrating because people have 222 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:21,480 Speaker 3: this perception. And so if you go to the Internet 223 00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:26,400 Speaker 3: and you type in if you typed in cross stresser, 224 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:30,400 Speaker 3: then you would likely see they're automatically going to gravitate 225 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:35,160 Speaker 3: to it white and then you'll see explanations. Thesis essays, 226 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,320 Speaker 3: you find some people who are pro, you find some 227 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:40,119 Speaker 3: people who are con but it gives you an explanation 228 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,520 Speaker 3: type in black cross dresser, and you are willing to 229 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:46,839 Speaker 3: see some very some things that would they're going to 230 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:49,920 Speaker 3: say on the mile side is provocative. On the on 231 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:53,080 Speaker 3: the butt, it's all leading towards somebody saying, oh, let 232 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:57,840 Speaker 3: me show your dick. Like it's not about that, that's 233 00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:01,480 Speaker 3: that you're not representing me. You're not representing me. And 234 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:05,600 Speaker 3: so that's no different than somebody saying, well, hey, somebody 235 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:09,600 Speaker 3: who does something that's wrong legally who happened to be black. Well, 236 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,200 Speaker 3: that's a representation about black people. That's absolutely not true. 237 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:15,920 Speaker 3: So when people show those images, I immediately say, that's not me. 238 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:18,720 Speaker 3: I don't don't, I don't think like that, I don't 239 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:20,880 Speaker 3: function like that. That's not my life, that's not my story, 240 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:24,000 Speaker 3: And so people will try to put that on you 241 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:28,200 Speaker 3: and that's not the case. So I think it's because 242 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:33,560 Speaker 3: we live in a contradictory world and you don't find that, 243 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:37,760 Speaker 3: you don't find somebody willing to give a logical explanation 244 00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:41,160 Speaker 3: of what it even is, but they immediately jump to 245 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:42,960 Speaker 3: a sinister and I think that's it. 246 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:46,360 Speaker 2: Remember that white man, he was like wearing heels and 247 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,640 Speaker 2: stuff and like he'll put on like a skirt with 248 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:51,480 Speaker 2: a tuxedo shirt or something, and he was getting like deals. 249 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:56,720 Speaker 2: Remember that, sure, And I was just saying to myself like, wow, 250 00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:58,760 Speaker 2: like they don't do that with black men. 251 00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:02,840 Speaker 3: Well, be candid with you and Eddie Izard, who is 252 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:08,200 Speaker 3: a British uh comic or pro or you're from the UK, 253 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:13,120 Speaker 3: whatever whatever vernacular you prefer, has made a career out 254 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:17,040 Speaker 3: of it, and and that and and and sometimes he 255 00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:21,040 Speaker 3: does his stand up dressed as his male self. Sometimes 256 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:24,720 Speaker 3: he does his stand up dressed as his feminine persona, 257 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:27,720 Speaker 3: and nobody thinks anything of it, and he has lived 258 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:31,080 Speaker 3: a very good life. Now, on the flip side, you 259 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:35,760 Speaker 3: have black men who will be in dresses and on 260 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:40,200 Speaker 3: television or in movies, and it's and that's essentially condemnation. 261 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:43,400 Speaker 3: Your career has been stereotyped. And and there are people 262 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,480 Speaker 3: who say that if you do, you have to do 263 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:48,520 Speaker 3: that to cross over into the thresholds or into the 264 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:54,680 Speaker 3: glory realm of of of media. And that is sad 265 00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:56,840 Speaker 3: that that is a benchmark. But I also think that's 266 00:15:56,880 --> 00:16:00,600 Speaker 3: a way to try and take away the mass uninity 267 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:03,480 Speaker 3: of black men. And so it's contradictory in a sense 268 00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:06,760 Speaker 3: that somebody can say, well, what you do adds to that, 269 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,800 Speaker 3: and I would say no, because one, I'm not trying 270 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:11,720 Speaker 3: to appear on camera. Two, I'm not trying to harm anybody. 271 00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:16,520 Speaker 3: Three I'm being my true self. If somebody does that 272 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:20,160 Speaker 3: to be a character, then I hate that to me. Yes, 273 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:24,080 Speaker 3: that does provide a since that does this credit somebody 274 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,000 Speaker 3: who was saying, hey, this is just how I am. 275 00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:29,680 Speaker 3: I'm not doing anything that is trying to be offensive. 276 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:32,520 Speaker 3: I'm not trying to be sexual, I'm not trying to 277 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:36,800 Speaker 3: be some I'm not trying to degrade myself. I'm not 278 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:40,760 Speaker 3: trying to provide this makes you happy commentary if it's 279 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,840 Speaker 3: something that makes me happy, and now that is no, 280 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:46,840 Speaker 3: it's something that's just in me. So no different than 281 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,800 Speaker 3: a person who says, hey, you know what, I just realized. 282 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:52,640 Speaker 3: I've never been attracted to people of the opposite gender. 283 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:55,560 Speaker 3: I'm attracted to people of the same gender. And they say, 284 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,240 Speaker 3: how long do you know that? I've been like this 285 00:16:57,320 --> 00:17:00,520 Speaker 3: all my life. I don't argue with people, gonna argue 286 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:02,480 Speaker 3: with people when they said when they say that, how 287 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:04,800 Speaker 3: am I going to tell somebody what they knew about themselves? 288 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:05,960 Speaker 3: That sounds absolutely stupid. 289 00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:09,600 Speaker 2: Right, That's a fact. That's a fact. So do you 290 00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:14,359 Speaker 2: think society's attitudes towards cross dressing will eventually evolve in 291 00:17:14,359 --> 00:17:16,159 Speaker 2: the next couple of years? Because I feel like this 292 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:17,120 Speaker 2: shouldn't be taboo. 293 00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:20,360 Speaker 3: So here's the thing. Here's where I look at young 294 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:23,240 Speaker 3: kids now and I just want to say you know 295 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:27,119 Speaker 3: what you are some bad ass. Because young kids now, 296 00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:35,000 Speaker 3: whether they're straight, whether they're bisexual, whether they're or asexual 297 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:38,120 Speaker 3: or whatever, there's so many terms, so many terms now, 298 00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:41,720 Speaker 3: but they bond together and they almost they say, hey 299 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:45,160 Speaker 3: this if somebody says I'm gonna wear this that they wear. 300 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:49,360 Speaker 3: The younger kids see things as it's just clothes. 301 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:51,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm expressing myself. 302 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:54,920 Speaker 3: I'm expressing myself. And then you will literally find them 303 00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:57,320 Speaker 3: bond together and say, I dare you to give this 304 00:17:57,359 --> 00:17:59,600 Speaker 3: person a hard time. We will gang up on you, 305 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:02,600 Speaker 3: and then they will ostracize you on social media and 306 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:07,920 Speaker 3: make a person's life Hell. People who are older don't 307 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:11,399 Speaker 3: have that because we grew up saying hey, it was 308 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,520 Speaker 3: what it was. Things are what they are, and don't 309 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:16,159 Speaker 3: get me wrong, I have that part of my personality. 310 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:20,560 Speaker 3: But at the same time, I firmly believe everybody's an individual. 311 00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:22,720 Speaker 3: So you should be able to have the bandwidth to 312 00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:25,640 Speaker 3: be able to be your true self and do something 313 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:29,640 Speaker 3: that makes you happy. But everybody doesn't get that, so 314 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:35,000 Speaker 3: do I. So to give you a hard answer, the 315 00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:38,000 Speaker 3: will society change for the younger people, Yes, because they're 316 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,200 Speaker 3: not going to give you an option. Younger people now 317 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,760 Speaker 3: don't give you an option. They tell you this is 318 00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:44,760 Speaker 3: what I'm doing and if you don't like that, that right, 319 00:18:45,359 --> 00:18:47,440 Speaker 3: and that's that on that and that's where I am. 320 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:48,960 Speaker 3: And if you don't like that, I'll tell you what. 321 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:52,080 Speaker 3: I will plan you for not giving me the opportunity 322 00:18:52,119 --> 00:18:54,639 Speaker 3: to be who I am, and it will make you miserable. 323 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,960 Speaker 3: And older people don't get a chance to do that. 324 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,560 Speaker 3: And when I say older, I'm not talking about elderly. 325 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:06,920 Speaker 3: I'm talking about people and beyond don't get a chance 326 00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:11,560 Speaker 3: to do that because we were part of a different society. 327 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, like we had the best of both worlds. 328 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:17,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, we do. But the thing about it is the 329 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:20,200 Speaker 3: thing that we're more observers in this new world than. 330 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:22,280 Speaker 2: Mm hmm. 331 00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:27,320 Speaker 3: Now go ahead, No, no, I just just I just 332 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:28,120 Speaker 3: come from a point. 333 00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:30,040 Speaker 2: So how long have you been frost dressing? 334 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,159 Speaker 3: Five years? Wow? 335 00:19:36,359 --> 00:19:37,840 Speaker 2: Does it feel like thirty five years? 336 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:45,800 Speaker 3: No? No, because it's like it's like asking somebody. It's 337 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:48,280 Speaker 3: like saying asking somebody if they're black. And does it 338 00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:48,720 Speaker 3: feel like. 339 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:51,560 Speaker 2: That's not a good point? Come on me like that? 340 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:53,800 Speaker 3: No? No, no, no, no, no, no no no, And 341 00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:55,119 Speaker 3: I'm not doing that to clown you. 342 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,080 Speaker 2: Okay, okay, come on now. 343 00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:00,560 Speaker 3: No no, no, no, no, no no, I'm not counting you. 344 00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:02,600 Speaker 3: I'm just trying to show you. What I'm saying is 345 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:05,359 Speaker 3: it's so natural that you don't think about it. Okay, 346 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:07,760 Speaker 3: that's the point. So when you say, does it feel 347 00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:09,880 Speaker 3: like thirty five years? Now, if you say does it 348 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:12,919 Speaker 3: feel like it's been thirty five years since you, you know, 349 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:16,040 Speaker 3: did something stupid in this stuff your life, and somebody said, no, 350 00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:18,800 Speaker 3: it's been feels like it's been like thirty five hundred years, 351 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:22,120 Speaker 3: well yeah, because that's painful. This has been painful. 352 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,640 Speaker 2: Because I'm as come on now, we didn't have a moment. 353 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:24,880 Speaker 2: I thought we was friends. 354 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:28,800 Speaker 3: Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, we're good. Right. 355 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:31,400 Speaker 2: It's just but that's a good point though. 356 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:35,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I mean, how it happens. What's natural to you? 357 00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:37,440 Speaker 3: Feel me? If you don't count it, you just go, okay, 358 00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:38,280 Speaker 3: it is what it is. 359 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,359 Speaker 2: So how were you introduced to it? Like, what were 360 00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:43,520 Speaker 2: some of your early experiences? 361 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:50,880 Speaker 3: The first was I was preschool and I saw something 362 00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:54,280 Speaker 3: that my mother had and I liked it, and I 363 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:59,760 Speaker 3: was like, there was no there was no banned list 364 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,480 Speaker 3: of items that we made you like or didn't like. 365 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:04,320 Speaker 3: It was just you know, you saw something and you 366 00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:06,399 Speaker 3: as a kid, you're curious and you grab it. And 367 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:08,560 Speaker 3: I was like, oh, this is really cool. And so 368 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:14,080 Speaker 3: I got caught and I was swatted on the ass 369 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:17,200 Speaker 3: for it. Uh. And then that was that, and then 370 00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:23,520 Speaker 3: a age eleven, age eleven I and then you're you're evolving, 371 00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:26,920 Speaker 3: You're starting to find out who you are because you're 372 00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:29,480 Speaker 3: growing up. And I was saying, you know what, I 373 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:32,679 Speaker 3: want to wear this, and I made up my mind. 374 00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:36,000 Speaker 3: And one night I got in I'm going to have 375 00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:39,000 Speaker 3: time at home by myself because I'm an only child, 376 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:39,600 Speaker 3: and so I. 377 00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,400 Speaker 2: Was like, oh, I'm a home mama. 378 00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:45,240 Speaker 3: F yeah. Yeah, And so you know, I have cousins, 379 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:47,640 Speaker 3: got tons of cousins that are like like like siblings, 380 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,199 Speaker 3: but now I'm an only child, and so I just 381 00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:51,520 Speaker 3: made up my mind. I was like, okay, I'm gonna 382 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:55,040 Speaker 3: wear this, and I did. And then the thing was 383 00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:57,280 Speaker 3: to hey, don't fall asleep and get caught, and I 384 00:21:57,280 --> 00:22:01,080 Speaker 3: did it and I did not get caught. But that 385 00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:03,760 Speaker 3: is when it was set in motion, and it was 386 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,880 Speaker 3: in my mind it was okay to like something that 387 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:11,000 Speaker 3: was pretty, and it was okay to say, hey, you know, 388 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,520 Speaker 3: why did it? And I think for those of us 389 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:18,639 Speaker 3: who have been given this characteristic or this character, I 390 00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:22,199 Speaker 3: guess you could call it characteristic of personality trade. We 391 00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:26,000 Speaker 3: don't see it as something bad. It's something that allows 392 00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:30,000 Speaker 3: you to be curious. And so would that being the case, yeah, 393 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:31,560 Speaker 3: I just and then from there it just kind of 394 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,200 Speaker 3: it kind of grew. And then whenever there was time 395 00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:36,880 Speaker 3: or I could speak a moment, I did. I would 396 00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:39,320 Speaker 3: wear those things that I like to wear. And then 397 00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:42,600 Speaker 3: that was that. And it was never anything racy, It 398 00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:47,600 Speaker 3: was never suggestive. It was it was always very conservative, 399 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,840 Speaker 3: and everything was very conservative. Even now everything for me 400 00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:53,479 Speaker 3: is very conservative. It's about an image, just about a picture. 401 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:58,280 Speaker 3: It's about being respectful. Everything is about being respectful, and 402 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,800 Speaker 3: it's all about trying to em you women that I've 403 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:05,960 Speaker 3: always said, a very respectful kids who have like this 404 00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:11,159 Speaker 3: pristine image, and it's really trying to emulate that. And 405 00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:13,320 Speaker 3: that's what it grew into. From being a little kid 406 00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:16,000 Speaker 3: that said that's really pretty. I'd like to wear that, 407 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:19,320 Speaker 3: or I like the way she shaped, I want to 408 00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:22,080 Speaker 3: emulate that, and then it was just it was a 409 00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:25,320 Speaker 3: it was a dominant was that's where people just kind 410 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:25,960 Speaker 3: of stop off from me. 411 00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:37,600 Speaker 2: That's one of the things that I really loved about 412 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:39,240 Speaker 2: your story, and I told you this off the air 413 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:41,399 Speaker 2: is like I feel like when I was reading, when 414 00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:43,800 Speaker 2: we was getting to know each other via email, one 415 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:45,560 Speaker 2: of the things that's still at the most for me 416 00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:47,560 Speaker 2: is that it felt like you was paying homage to 417 00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:48,119 Speaker 2: black women. 418 00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:51,440 Speaker 3: There nothing more beautiful love in this world than a 419 00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:59,640 Speaker 3: black woman, not not nothing. When I say black lord, 420 00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:02,360 Speaker 3: when I say I love me, I love that, don't 421 00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:05,720 Speaker 3: get me wrong. And I'm I'm a bar line that 422 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:08,679 Speaker 3: that the comedian Earth usually said God never created anything 423 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:11,080 Speaker 3: more more beautiful on this earth. And black women, I 424 00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:12,760 Speaker 3: mean than a woman. But when it comes to the 425 00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:14,440 Speaker 3: most beautiful one, they happen to be black. 426 00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:17,240 Speaker 2: That's a fact. Tell these niggas again in the back now, 427 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:19,080 Speaker 2: ain't nothing more beautiful than a black woman? 428 00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:26,600 Speaker 3: Have a message over when Oh Lord, sisters just it's 429 00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:29,360 Speaker 3: just you can't you can't tell. I mean, don't get 430 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:31,080 Speaker 3: me wrong. It's some sisters that do some stuff where 431 00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:33,320 Speaker 3: you go, what's on your mind, But I mean as 432 00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:37,040 Speaker 3: a whole Oh my sister, I mean, it's just it's 433 00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:42,320 Speaker 3: the swag it's sterity, it's the it's the appearance, it's 434 00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:46,200 Speaker 3: the skin tone, it's the difference, the different look. I mean, 435 00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:51,920 Speaker 3: just black women are just amazing women, not amazing. And 436 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,080 Speaker 3: if somebody don't think that, you know what you try 437 00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:56,680 Speaker 3: to tell you all opinion, but that ain't mine right, 438 00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,160 Speaker 3: that ain't mind that black that somebody saying that black 439 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:01,639 Speaker 3: women ain't in bla inside to your being. But wed 440 00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:02,840 Speaker 3: I disagree like. 441 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:09,200 Speaker 2: Him, I know that's real. Now when you cross dressed, 442 00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,320 Speaker 2: what does it feel like? Because I feel like when 443 00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:13,919 Speaker 2: we were speaking, it feels like it's just like this 444 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:15,439 Speaker 2: this you're for feeling. 445 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,240 Speaker 3: It's your for it. But but let me explain to 446 00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:21,080 Speaker 3: you for it. For it is that you get to 447 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:26,840 Speaker 3: go be a be a part of your personality. That 448 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:29,720 Speaker 3: that that that doesn't it's like it's it's almost like 449 00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:34,439 Speaker 3: in Native American people sometimes refer refer to use a 450 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:41,359 Speaker 3: term called two spirited. I think that's there's some there's 451 00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:44,440 Speaker 3: some connectivity there where you where you a person can say, hey, 452 00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:48,800 Speaker 3: I have another person that that I am and I 453 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:51,840 Speaker 3: need to address that person. Uh, and I can't shut 454 00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:54,240 Speaker 3: that person out. So I think that would be the 455 00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:56,680 Speaker 3: way that I would describe it is that I get 456 00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:02,280 Speaker 3: to acknowledge another person or uh and and I know 457 00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:04,720 Speaker 3: somebody can say, oh you have suffering from multiple personality 458 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:11,920 Speaker 3: or I do not know oh totally. Yeah, yeah, I 459 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,080 Speaker 3: mean I know exactly who I am. It's just that 460 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:15,920 Speaker 3: it's just like saying, hey, this is what I get 461 00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:18,200 Speaker 3: to go do. It's like you know when somebody said 462 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,320 Speaker 3: you could take somebody who's a professional athlete, and it's like, 463 00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:23,120 Speaker 3: what's it like, you get to play ball. It's it's 464 00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:24,760 Speaker 3: what I do. It's part of who I am. That's 465 00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:26,760 Speaker 3: what It's something that I'm good at. Well, this is 466 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:27,720 Speaker 3: something that I am. 467 00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:28,240 Speaker 4: Right. 468 00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:31,240 Speaker 3: I'm a firm believer that if you go if you 469 00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:35,159 Speaker 3: have a grade or you have an athletic career that 470 00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:38,520 Speaker 3: allows you to play in college, everybody raise your hand, 471 00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:42,120 Speaker 3: who did that you have? When you have that opportunity, 472 00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:44,680 Speaker 3: then there's something in you that allows you to say, hey, 473 00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:46,600 Speaker 3: I can do this a little bit better. And I 474 00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:48,800 Speaker 3: think it's part of who you are as a person. 475 00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:51,440 Speaker 3: I think this is a lot like that. So it's 476 00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:53,320 Speaker 3: like when you ask me what now is if you're 477 00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:55,640 Speaker 3: ask a professional ball player, even a college ball player, 478 00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:58,280 Speaker 3: and say, is that all that you are. Hopefully they 479 00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:00,520 Speaker 3: will say absolutely not. It's a part for who I am, 480 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:04,120 Speaker 3: but it's not all that. So that's facts. I would 481 00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:04,800 Speaker 3: liken it to that. 482 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,120 Speaker 2: Now, how important is it for you to be passable? 483 00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:15,440 Speaker 3: In your youth? You worry about things like that because 484 00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:16,760 Speaker 3: you're saying, well, I got to do this and I 485 00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:21,280 Speaker 3: got to do that. And then there is a website 486 00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:28,280 Speaker 3: that is run or I guess it belongs to a 487 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:30,879 Speaker 3: person that is a cross dresser, and that has a 488 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:33,479 Speaker 3: section about passability and it says, look, at the end 489 00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:36,280 Speaker 3: of the day, you're in the biggest hands and. 490 00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:40,280 Speaker 2: You're the biggest like we hear now, but. 491 00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:44,800 Speaker 3: It's like, now here's the thing you are not. You 492 00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:47,240 Speaker 3: might be able to pass seen as you are like 493 00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:50,760 Speaker 3: passing me, walking past somebody, somebody drops past you. They 494 00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:53,679 Speaker 3: might if you really know what you're doing, then somebody 495 00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:55,400 Speaker 3: could go, oh, I didn't notice that. I didn't picked 496 00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:58,119 Speaker 3: up on that. Now, if somebody were to stop, or 497 00:27:58,160 --> 00:27:59,840 Speaker 3: you're walking past the mind and somebody said you guys 498 00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:03,080 Speaker 3: as feed you have big ass hands, that might be 499 00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:05,600 Speaker 3: a telltale sign. Or if somebody says, I think I 500 00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:08,199 Speaker 3: see Adam's apple and you don't have on turtle neck 501 00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:10,040 Speaker 3: or something like that. I mean, hey, you can't do 502 00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:12,359 Speaker 3: anything about that, But I think so I say that 503 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,600 Speaker 3: to say that it gets to the point where you 504 00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:19,359 Speaker 3: have to be respectable. Are you respecting the gender? 505 00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:20,200 Speaker 2: Yeah? 506 00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:20,679 Speaker 3: Are you? 507 00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:22,120 Speaker 2: Are you being That's what I said. 508 00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,359 Speaker 3: Yeah. There are some people who are staunch advocates and 509 00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:27,120 Speaker 3: they say no, the fact that you do that meets 510 00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:30,679 Speaker 3: you are disrespecting the gender. And now I think that 511 00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:34,960 Speaker 3: that's only true if you're showing body parts and you're 512 00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:38,520 Speaker 3: being trying to be provocative or you're trying to uh, 513 00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:41,760 Speaker 3: you're doing it front with sexual connotations and with the 514 00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:44,560 Speaker 3: end result being sex, then I do think that that's disrespectful. 515 00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:46,960 Speaker 3: But if you're doing it because you're saying no, it's 516 00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:50,560 Speaker 3: something that I feel. I'm there, I'm passionate about it, 517 00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:53,080 Speaker 3: and I do it to show us. I do and 518 00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:55,400 Speaker 3: the people that I emulate, the ladies that I emulate 519 00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:57,840 Speaker 3: are women who I honestly say, you know, I look 520 00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:00,600 Speaker 3: up to. So as my male self, I'm open and doors, 521 00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:05,080 Speaker 3: I'm opening, I'm letting them go first. I'm saying now, 522 00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:08,320 Speaker 3: I am being curtious, I'm pulling our chairs, I'm doing 523 00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:11,280 Speaker 3: all of that. But I do that because number one, 524 00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:13,560 Speaker 3: I have a great tremendous respect for women, all women, 525 00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:16,440 Speaker 3: but again, my favorite black But at the same time, 526 00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:20,320 Speaker 3: trying to pay and you want to pay homage to 527 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:23,120 Speaker 3: to that person. So it's like the person who says, hey, 528 00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:27,240 Speaker 3: I'm my favorite basketball player was Michael Jordan's and I 529 00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:30,400 Speaker 3: only where Jordan's went on, who, Well, why are you 530 00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:32,400 Speaker 3: doing that? Because Jordan was the Jordan. My dude, I'm 531 00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:33,000 Speaker 3: a Jordan. 532 00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:35,640 Speaker 2: Guy, right, works. 533 00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:38,800 Speaker 3: Right, because that's my dude. Okay, So it's the same thing. 534 00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:41,880 Speaker 3: And somebody could say no that, no, there's no there's 535 00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:43,760 Speaker 3: no connectivity, and I would say that we can agree 536 00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:46,520 Speaker 3: to this, But that's exactly what it is. I'm paying 537 00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:50,160 Speaker 3: homage to those who say who, those that I saw 538 00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:52,080 Speaker 3: that I said, oh my gosh, that is just like 539 00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:55,040 Speaker 3: the hitdome of a woman. I'm trying to say, you 540 00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:57,000 Speaker 3: know what, I'm trying to complicate. 541 00:29:57,800 --> 00:29:59,800 Speaker 2: But I also feel like if I am took all 542 00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:01,680 Speaker 2: this time and I thne got pretty input on a 543 00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:04,920 Speaker 2: damn dress, you're gonna address me as such, thank you. 544 00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:07,000 Speaker 2: I think that is so rue. And that is something 545 00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:09,720 Speaker 2: that I mentioned in the previous conversation with my last guests, like, 546 00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:13,160 Speaker 2: if the person has presenting themselves in a certain way. 547 00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:17,200 Speaker 3: Be respectful, whether you understand it or not. Or you 548 00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:20,560 Speaker 3: can even be respectful by not saying any anything a pronoun, 549 00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:23,680 Speaker 3: don't do, don't say something that you know is de progatory. 550 00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:26,320 Speaker 3: That is a I'm a firm believer. I believe this. 551 00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:28,840 Speaker 3: You can have people who don't like one another and 552 00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:31,800 Speaker 3: they can show respect. They could be ready if it 553 00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:34,080 Speaker 3: doesn't take but a word, and they can be They 554 00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:36,560 Speaker 3: could be at odds, they could be fighting, they can describe, 555 00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:38,720 Speaker 3: and they could be cut some one another. But not 556 00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:43,640 Speaker 3: saying anything is as respectful as it is to say yes, no, no, 557 00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:47,520 Speaker 3: thank you, excuse me, I apologize, pardon me. It's just 558 00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:50,280 Speaker 3: as respectful. You can be respectful by not saying anything. 559 00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:53,440 Speaker 3: And so to your point, if you see somebody that 560 00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:57,360 Speaker 3: is dressed as a and they're trying to emulate something, 561 00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:00,000 Speaker 3: don't go and say the opposite. 562 00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:04,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, because you well you see now you're being an ass. 563 00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:06,760 Speaker 3: But I'm finding no dress. But I tell you what. 564 00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:09,880 Speaker 3: I run it. Look you already know I write a 565 00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:12,960 Speaker 3: hell of a letter, though, and I rename tax i'mnna 566 00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:13,840 Speaker 3: call your gas out. 567 00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:18,360 Speaker 2: Right right right? Has your relationship with cross dress and 568 00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:19,479 Speaker 2: changed as you age? 569 00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:20,920 Speaker 3: Yes? 570 00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:23,800 Speaker 2: In what way? 571 00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:28,280 Speaker 3: The time, the times that I get to do it 572 00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:31,400 Speaker 3: are are more special when I was, when I was younger, 573 00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,600 Speaker 3: when you and that's that's just, that's just, that's becoming, 574 00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:38,040 Speaker 3: that's maturity. When you're immature and younger, you don't appreciate time. 575 00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:42,400 Speaker 3: You don't think about the value of twenty four hours. 576 00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:45,320 Speaker 3: You don't think about the value of one foundred and 577 00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:47,720 Speaker 3: forty minutes, which is a day. You don't think about it. 578 00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:49,840 Speaker 3: Then you get to the point where you start saying, okay, 579 00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:53,600 Speaker 3: wait a minute, Hey, I got twenty minutes to spend 580 00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:56,600 Speaker 3: with so and so who needs to be mentored professionally, 581 00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:58,960 Speaker 3: I got twenty minutes to be to talk to so 582 00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:02,800 Speaker 3: and so who needs to be mentored as they grow 583 00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:06,280 Speaker 3: as a person. And then you start figuring out, okay, 584 00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:08,800 Speaker 3: what what how much time do I have? And so 585 00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:13,000 Speaker 3: I say that to say that, yeah, those I appreciate 586 00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:15,240 Speaker 3: it as I get older because I don't have time. 587 00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:17,600 Speaker 3: I don't have to do a lot. I really don't. 588 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:20,120 Speaker 3: I'm by got a busy schedule, and I'm not saying 589 00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:23,040 Speaker 3: that we ragnocious. That's not what I'm saying. But like 590 00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:26,080 Speaker 3: all people, I don't care what your job is. You 591 00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:27,600 Speaker 3: don't have a lot of time to do the things 592 00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:29,240 Speaker 3: that you want to do. So when you get a 593 00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:32,680 Speaker 3: chance to do it, hey, it means something. So I 594 00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:35,800 Speaker 3: think that's that's the biggest difference, and then wanting to 595 00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:39,920 Speaker 3: put respect behind it so that even I would love 596 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,600 Speaker 3: to be able if I were ever given the opportunity 597 00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:46,240 Speaker 3: to talk to a younger person who says, hey, I've 598 00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:50,080 Speaker 3: been sitting on this part of my personality for years 599 00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:56,000 Speaker 3: and I feel like I'm kind of strange or I 600 00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,840 Speaker 3: feel I feel guilty. I think people get to some 601 00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:02,360 Speaker 3: point at more guilt, not strange, because I don't think people. 602 00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:05,280 Speaker 3: I think they quickly get out of the strange part 603 00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:07,800 Speaker 3: because there's enough things that you can find to let 604 00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:11,000 Speaker 3: you know, hey, I'm not strange. But when if they say, hey, 605 00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:16,000 Speaker 3: I feel guilty because I can't shut it off, and 606 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:17,880 Speaker 3: I would tell them you're not You're not going to 607 00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:21,160 Speaker 3: shut it off. You can't You're not going to shut 608 00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:22,920 Speaker 3: it off. It doesn't work like that. No more than 609 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,480 Speaker 3: a person can say, hey, now you could teach yourself. 610 00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:27,160 Speaker 3: And I was going to say being left handed, right, 611 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:32,200 Speaker 3: and you could teach yourself how to be ambidextrous. You can, 612 00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:36,080 Speaker 3: But at the same time, you're in your moment of truth, 613 00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:38,680 Speaker 3: You're going to go to your dominant and so in 614 00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:40,600 Speaker 3: your moment of truth when you have to talk to 615 00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:43,440 Speaker 3: yourself and you say, hey, I don't do that anymore, 616 00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:45,240 Speaker 3: you got to look yourself in the mirror, say but 617 00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:47,280 Speaker 3: I know that I really want to. So I'm lying 618 00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:48,240 Speaker 3: to myself now. 619 00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:54,120 Speaker 2: Right right. Have your perspectives on masculinity and femininity change 620 00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:56,760 Speaker 2: since you started cross stressing, and if so, how do 621 00:33:56,840 --> 00:33:59,480 Speaker 2: you now define those concepts in your own life? 622 00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:07,640 Speaker 3: Uh? So, okay, So have they changed? Well, I guess 623 00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:10,319 Speaker 3: I guess it's slightly. And what I'm here's what I 624 00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:10,719 Speaker 3: mean by this. 625 00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:12,960 Speaker 2: So I feel like you have such a like you 626 00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:16,080 Speaker 2: you hold women, especially black women, to such a high regard. 627 00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:18,759 Speaker 2: So the fact that you paid this how much to 628 00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:20,480 Speaker 2: them and you dressed like them, like, I feel like 629 00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:23,640 Speaker 2: in some type of way, you're tapping into your feeline side. 630 00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:27,120 Speaker 3: Right, I guess you know, I guess I have to 631 00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:29,279 Speaker 3: answer to that question, would have to just be an 632 00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:32,680 Speaker 3: outright yes. But has it changed? I guess I never 633 00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:36,440 Speaker 3: thought here's where and this is gonna sound crazy. When 634 00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:40,360 Speaker 3: I was a kid, I was I was watching the 635 00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:43,600 Speaker 3: fastest girl in our school was raising the fastest guy 636 00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:46,359 Speaker 3: and she dusted his ass. That was the day where 637 00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:50,719 Speaker 3: I was like, girls can do it, empthy him if 638 00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:53,000 Speaker 3: they really want then and from that point on, I 639 00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:55,359 Speaker 3: was like, you know, so you know, having a uh 640 00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:58,640 Speaker 3: student body president, that was that was a lady or 641 00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:02,879 Speaker 3: a young lady that bother me. Having a principal high 642 00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:05,120 Speaker 3: school principal, which I did, that was that was a 643 00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:07,839 Speaker 3: lady that didn't bother me because it was it was 644 00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:10,120 Speaker 3: the same. It was simply saying, hey, you can do that. 645 00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:13,480 Speaker 3: When you see politicians, you know, shout out to to 646 00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:17,880 Speaker 3: what's going on politically. Now when you see politicians, you say, no, no, no, no, 647 00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:20,520 Speaker 3: that's that's a good person for the job. That's the 648 00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:23,520 Speaker 3: right person for the job. Or at least from my perspective. 649 00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:28,680 Speaker 3: Uh So, I never thought that women couldn't do anything. 650 00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:32,120 Speaker 3: I think that what I wish I could see more 651 00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:37,480 Speaker 3: is that more of our especially our young ladies, embraced 652 00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:41,760 Speaker 3: being lady. What we call people I'm not, I guess 653 00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:44,440 Speaker 3: almost old school, but what we call lady like and 654 00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:48,759 Speaker 3: truly exhibiting what's lady like and not having to take 655 00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:52,319 Speaker 3: on that persona. But now if I can be there, 656 00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:54,200 Speaker 3: A lot of a lot of dads and a lot 657 00:35:54,239 --> 00:35:56,520 Speaker 3: of dudes did not do what they needed to do 658 00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:58,360 Speaker 3: to put women in a position where they could be 659 00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:00,000 Speaker 3: lady like. So they had to say, hey, I got 660 00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:01,879 Speaker 3: to do everything, and for that, I tip my hat 661 00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:05,000 Speaker 3: and I put and I pay respect. But I think 662 00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:07,759 Speaker 3: that's in terms of femininity, that's what I think about. 663 00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:13,360 Speaker 3: In terms of masculinity, I think more dudes, the dudes. 664 00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:16,520 Speaker 3: Us dudes, whether you cross us or not, we catch 665 00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:19,480 Speaker 3: We catch a lot of hell. But as dudes, it's 666 00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:22,560 Speaker 3: kind of like the like they teach you, you know, 667 00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:26,160 Speaker 3: through athletics and and and through some other things that 668 00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:28,600 Speaker 3: you can be part of, be a part of it, life, 669 00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:32,480 Speaker 3: be silent as you're enduring. And so we take that 670 00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:34,680 Speaker 3: on as men, and so we catch a lot of hell. 671 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:37,040 Speaker 3: And I think that you see that now when you 672 00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:40,960 Speaker 3: see hear about brothers and and and guys as well. 673 00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:43,000 Speaker 3: I don't want to limit in the black people, but 674 00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:46,640 Speaker 3: when you see here with guys being suicidal and taking 675 00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:50,600 Speaker 3: their lives, I think that's people. That's when when you 676 00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:52,839 Speaker 3: have men that are saying, hey man, it's enough, it's enough. 677 00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:55,480 Speaker 3: I'm like a powder keg over here, please do not 678 00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:58,719 Speaker 3: strike a match. And so I say that to say that, 679 00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:03,280 Speaker 3: I think that more men need to be able to 680 00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:06,080 Speaker 3: talk to their boys and say, Dawn, man, you know 681 00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:08,320 Speaker 3: and you know, I love you, man, you know anything 682 00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:09,920 Speaker 3: you need and I let your boy let me know 683 00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:13,279 Speaker 3: I'm here for you, or or or just being able 684 00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:16,279 Speaker 3: to say, you know, hey man, I'm hurt, you know, 685 00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:18,920 Speaker 3: whether you know I'm hurt because I didn't get a promotion. 686 00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:24,400 Speaker 3: I'm hurt because we don't get a chance to be that. 687 00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:26,600 Speaker 3: And so I think that that's when you say, what 688 00:37:26,719 --> 00:37:29,680 Speaker 3: I changed some things in regard to masculinity. Yes, I 689 00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:33,399 Speaker 3: would change that to say good men. Women don't look 690 00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:36,239 Speaker 3: down on men that are trying to express their vulnerability. 691 00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:38,640 Speaker 3: Now there is a fine line because you can get 692 00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:45,400 Speaker 3: down right bitchy and no or as they call him, 693 00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:47,759 Speaker 3: if they call him when they call him. And I 694 00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:51,719 Speaker 3: was like, I asked somebody, they said, he's say. I 695 00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:54,520 Speaker 3: was like, what they did? You just say? He's like 696 00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:57,680 Speaker 3: he's Sassin. I was like that shit is And so 697 00:37:57,960 --> 00:38:00,799 Speaker 3: you know, I don't. So it's a fine line. But 698 00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:03,520 Speaker 3: at the same time, I think I think men get 699 00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:06,880 Speaker 3: stronger if they're able to to purge. And what I 700 00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:09,880 Speaker 3: mean by that is, if you are carrying a heavy 701 00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:12,239 Speaker 3: ass low, you can't carry it with so much weight 702 00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:15,600 Speaker 3: facts and then you're gonna fall. But if you take 703 00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:17,520 Speaker 3: some of that weight off, You're not saying that you're 704 00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:19,239 Speaker 3: getting rid of all the weight, but if you're able 705 00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:22,480 Speaker 3: to get some of that ship to the side and 706 00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:24,719 Speaker 3: say I put that to the side. Now I can 707 00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:26,680 Speaker 3: take a little more, but I put some of that. 708 00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:28,640 Speaker 3: For everything that I pick up, I put something, I 709 00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:32,240 Speaker 3: put a few things down. I don't fall down like heavy. 710 00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:34,239 Speaker 3: That's just life. I can't do nothing about that. But 711 00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:36,560 Speaker 3: it's not to the point where you're gonna fall over. 712 00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:38,759 Speaker 3: And I think that if that could change for men, 713 00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:40,719 Speaker 3: then I would I would love to see that change. 714 00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:44,520 Speaker 2: Because I can't take no nigga complaining every single day. 715 00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:47,480 Speaker 3: It's like what now, No, No, I can't, it can't, 716 00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:51,160 Speaker 3: it can't. I just it just I just don't think 717 00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,840 Speaker 3: that it can be that. I think that you you are. 718 00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:58,879 Speaker 2: Just like yeah, oh yeah, for sure, for sure. 719 00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:00,640 Speaker 3: I mean I'm like, look, if you don't like to 720 00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:01,760 Speaker 3: do something about. 721 00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:04,439 Speaker 2: It exactly like listen, it's hard for all of us, 722 00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:09,279 Speaker 2: so like, just do what you gotta do. Yeah, Now, 723 00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:12,239 Speaker 2: speaking of friends, does your family and friends know about 724 00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:15,120 Speaker 2: this about your crossdressing? And if so, what were their responses? 725 00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:22,279 Speaker 3: No, nobody, nobody, nobody knows except for I felt like 726 00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:24,880 Speaker 3: I needed to be cool and clear with my wife 727 00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:27,480 Speaker 3: and say, hey, you know it's a sweetheart, and you 728 00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:30,120 Speaker 3: know this is something that that that's a part of me. 729 00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:33,880 Speaker 3: And after having some conversations, it was like, Okay, I 730 00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:37,239 Speaker 3: got it. You know, I understand. I understand that that's you. 731 00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:40,320 Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't understand where it came from. Yeah, 732 00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:42,920 Speaker 3: and that's a that's a fair statement to make because 733 00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:45,920 Speaker 3: I can't give a definitive explanation of where it came from. 734 00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:48,399 Speaker 3: Because if I knew, I would love to be able 735 00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:50,480 Speaker 3: to say, Okay, I know where it is. I don't. 736 00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:52,600 Speaker 3: I really don't, But that's it. 737 00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:56,200 Speaker 2: Have you ever seen a meaning a cross dressing before 738 00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:56,919 Speaker 2: when you was a kid? 739 00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:00,680 Speaker 3: That is No, I haven't, and I'll be honest with you, 740 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:03,120 Speaker 3: and this is really crazy. And I've never seen one 741 00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:03,560 Speaker 3: in person. 742 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:05,880 Speaker 2: You never seen one in person? 743 00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:12,000 Speaker 3: Never. Wow, never, never, if it weren't look if it 744 00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:17,040 Speaker 3: weren't for television shows and like in old talk shows 745 00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:21,960 Speaker 3: or hell the internet. That's the thing that I think 746 00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:24,560 Speaker 3: is one of the most painful things is you go 747 00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:27,520 Speaker 3: through this for a long time, especially not in that 748 00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:30,960 Speaker 3: part where you're saying I'm the only person in the world. 749 00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:36,000 Speaker 3: Yeah wow, You think about what happens with us and 750 00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:39,680 Speaker 3: how we are as a people, and you say, oh, man, 751 00:40:39,719 --> 00:40:43,160 Speaker 3: there's no black folks do there's no brothers to do this, 752 00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:47,480 Speaker 3: and it's like, man, that's a lie. 753 00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:50,839 Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, So before we go down that rabbit hole, 754 00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:53,200 Speaker 2: because I have questions about that, what is your advice 755 00:40:53,239 --> 00:40:55,680 Speaker 2: that you would give to others in similar situations who 756 00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:59,319 Speaker 2: might be struggling with how to communicate their identity with 757 00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:01,799 Speaker 2: their partners. 758 00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:08,920 Speaker 3: Be candid when at the same time you could do it. 759 00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:11,120 Speaker 3: And here's the thing, I don't think and if there's 760 00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:14,040 Speaker 3: some people who subscribe to the belief that you just 761 00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:17,080 Speaker 3: you say, it's no different than somebody sitting down saying, hey, 762 00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:23,360 Speaker 3: my name is Joe, I'm from Minneapolis, Minnesota. I'm you know, 763 00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:27,840 Speaker 3: I'm a Christian. I went to school at the University 764 00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:31,400 Speaker 3: of Southern California and Amacrossch. I would not view that 765 00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:33,880 Speaker 3: there say just smack them in them out, because I 766 00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:36,239 Speaker 3: think that's a lot. I think that if you have 767 00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:40,080 Speaker 3: conversations with people and then you start talking about likes 768 00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:42,960 Speaker 3: and dislikes, I think that there's a way to be subtle, 769 00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:48,239 Speaker 3: but at the same time start dropping little nuggets. You 770 00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:50,080 Speaker 3: got to be able to read a room. And because 771 00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:52,880 Speaker 3: if you hit somebody, it's no different than somebody hitting 772 00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:57,680 Speaker 3: you with with with some really game changing information up front, 773 00:41:57,719 --> 00:41:59,840 Speaker 3: you like, damn, can you provide a little bit of 774 00:41:59,880 --> 00:42:02,120 Speaker 3: a pushing because I want to ready for that ship, 775 00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:04,400 Speaker 3: you know, so you got to prepare me. And so 776 00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:06,600 Speaker 3: I think it's it's you kind of kind of lead 777 00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:10,279 Speaker 3: people to it gradually or leader. It's a guy being 778 00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:13,080 Speaker 3: a lady leader to graduate and you talk about lives 779 00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:15,320 Speaker 3: and this life. It's like the young lady says, oh 780 00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:18,480 Speaker 3: I watch Project Runway. Oh for real? Oh yeah, I 781 00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:21,719 Speaker 3: check that out, and so and and then, and I 782 00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:23,719 Speaker 3: think that this is one of the easiest ways to 783 00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:25,960 Speaker 3: do this is you start because Project Runway is nothing 784 00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:28,600 Speaker 3: but a critique. It's it's two hours of critique. You 785 00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:31,520 Speaker 3: start saying, oh, that's that's the ugly till that they 786 00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:34,520 Speaker 3: ain't gonna win, that you ain't and you could that 787 00:42:34,520 --> 00:42:37,200 Speaker 3: ship all wrong. And then what happens is one a 788 00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:38,640 Speaker 3: little how do you know that? 789 00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:39,400 Speaker 2: Right? 790 00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:41,399 Speaker 3: And then you can say, oh, well, you know, hey, 791 00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:44,000 Speaker 3: I'm I'm a fan and a fan of what you 792 00:42:44,239 --> 00:42:47,880 Speaker 3: fan close, and then that you can slowly but surely 793 00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:50,920 Speaker 3: kind of start to walk your way into a conversation. 794 00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:53,040 Speaker 3: I think you can do that. I think you can 795 00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:56,279 Speaker 3: go to places where you have to give or put 796 00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:58,960 Speaker 3: people in whether you're reading a book, you go to 797 00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:02,880 Speaker 3: a show, you to television show, a movie or something 798 00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:04,960 Speaker 3: like that, and you can kind of talk about things 799 00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:08,560 Speaker 3: and put people in the position where they ask you questions. Yeah, 800 00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:12,080 Speaker 3: and then if they ask you questions, then it it 801 00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:16,640 Speaker 3: invokes a response, and then somebody can start You can 802 00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:19,400 Speaker 3: kind of gage from people's body language. Hey, you know 803 00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:21,800 Speaker 3: when somebody's uncomfortable, You know, when you said something that 804 00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:24,000 Speaker 3: might have set somebody back. But then you also know 805 00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:27,520 Speaker 3: if somebody took some information, they go oh okay, okay, 806 00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:30,120 Speaker 3: now we can take the next step, and then you 807 00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:32,359 Speaker 3: can kind of just go through it that way. And 808 00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:35,680 Speaker 3: so I think that that helps. But just to smack 809 00:43:35,719 --> 00:43:38,399 Speaker 3: somebody in the face with it. Yeah, I don't really think. 810 00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:41,680 Speaker 3: I don't think that's the route to take because you, 811 00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:44,680 Speaker 3: I mean, be gradual, I mean you, and I always 812 00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:46,919 Speaker 3: say flip it around and say okay, now, how would 813 00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:49,200 Speaker 3: I want somebody to hit me with that. It's like 814 00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:51,960 Speaker 3: if somebody if somebody turned around and told you, you 815 00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:55,120 Speaker 3: know what, hey, take this out. I used to you know, 816 00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:58,160 Speaker 3: I used to be whatever. I used to do whatever 817 00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:02,240 Speaker 3: out or you could say I have really yeah check please, 818 00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:03,960 Speaker 3: I'm out. No, don't worry about the meals on me. 819 00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:06,960 Speaker 3: I'm out of here, right. Give people an opportunity to 820 00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:10,879 Speaker 3: adapt to a situation and engauge how they're responding to. 821 00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:12,640 Speaker 2: You, but don't force their hand. 822 00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:14,759 Speaker 3: No that, I don't think that's fair. 823 00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:20,400 Speaker 2: That's your hand for exactly exactly. Now, Being that you 824 00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:25,640 Speaker 2: haven't seen a cross dresser in person in damn near 825 00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:28,920 Speaker 2: thirty five years, how do you navigate the balance between 826 00:44:29,040 --> 00:44:35,520 Speaker 2: wanting to be visible but also maintaining your privacy. 827 00:44:35,719 --> 00:44:40,439 Speaker 3: You learn a lot of things. You learn to be very, 828 00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:44,440 Speaker 3: very servant, like I pride myself to notice and think 829 00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:48,800 Speaker 3: that other people do not notice, and so you clearly 830 00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:52,919 Speaker 3: realize like like for me, if you're trying to say 831 00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:54,600 Speaker 3: if you have a need to say, hey, I need 832 00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:56,439 Speaker 3: to get out of these four walls of this house 833 00:44:56,520 --> 00:44:59,600 Speaker 3: or this apartment or whatever, then you've got to be 834 00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:03,040 Speaker 3: really a you have to be able to say, okay, well, 835 00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:05,239 Speaker 3: if you want to be out that you don't want 836 00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:07,960 Speaker 3: to be seen. Then here's the thing. Back to school, 837 00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:12,160 Speaker 3: Christmas care times to go out the stories, yes, because 838 00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:15,880 Speaker 3: you're going to be seen. You pick up on one 839 00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:18,000 Speaker 3: daylight savings is you say hey, you know if it 840 00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:20,319 Speaker 3: gets darker around five thirty, then you would say, hey, 841 00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:22,400 Speaker 3: that's some time for me to be someplace. Now, there 842 00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:24,880 Speaker 3: are people who would say the opposite. They say, do 843 00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:27,279 Speaker 3: not go out at night, because you put yourself in 844 00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:28,960 Speaker 3: out you can put yourself in harms away. Now, I'm 845 00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:30,879 Speaker 3: not saying go to walk down a dark alley. That's 846 00:45:30,920 --> 00:45:32,719 Speaker 3: not what I'm saying. I want to be someplace that's 847 00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:35,919 Speaker 3: well lit. But you want to be someplace that's well lit. 848 00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:37,799 Speaker 3: But at the same time, there are not a lot 849 00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:40,040 Speaker 3: of people, so you can pick and choose your moments. 850 00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:42,600 Speaker 3: Don't go walk through the park at eight o'clock and say, oh, 851 00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:46,120 Speaker 3: I'm just I'm expressing myself. No, you're setting yourself up 852 00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:49,560 Speaker 3: for potential harm. And then the other thing about it, 853 00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:52,239 Speaker 3: you got to be careful because you also yeah, I mean, hey, 854 00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:54,600 Speaker 3: at the end of the day, you've got people who 855 00:45:54,760 --> 00:45:57,319 Speaker 3: have a certain mindset and you don't. It would be 856 00:45:57,360 --> 00:46:01,640 Speaker 3: bad for somebody to say, oh, you're soliciting, and they think, oh, 857 00:46:01,640 --> 00:46:03,920 Speaker 3: wait a minute, you're doing something sinister. No, no, no, I'm 858 00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:07,600 Speaker 3: not doing anything business. I'm just trying to have a 859 00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:10,160 Speaker 3: good time on my business and and walk a couple 860 00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:13,040 Speaker 3: of blocks. But yeah, but you got to I mean, 861 00:46:13,080 --> 00:46:14,880 Speaker 3: don't go in the park at night and say, oh, 862 00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:17,680 Speaker 3: I'm just I'm just saying, no, you look suspicious, you 863 00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:20,360 Speaker 3: look like you have to know good. But you become 864 00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:22,920 Speaker 3: you can figure things out. You can figure out places. 865 00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:26,080 Speaker 3: You can figure out certain places to go, certain places 866 00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:29,759 Speaker 3: that certain times that places are open and hey it's 867 00:46:29,800 --> 00:46:32,080 Speaker 3: the back end of the day. Okay, well hey they 868 00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:35,480 Speaker 3: close at ten. You know you would depending on what 869 00:46:35,560 --> 00:46:38,200 Speaker 3: kind of what kind of establishment is eight to ten 870 00:46:38,719 --> 00:46:42,319 Speaker 3: or downtimes, you can go and you feel I need 871 00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:48,000 Speaker 3: to be out. Partially, it's a challenge. It's a challenge 872 00:46:48,080 --> 00:46:53,239 Speaker 3: because it's a challenge because you still I. 873 00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:54,960 Speaker 2: Feel like you're still isolating yourself. 874 00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:57,960 Speaker 3: You are, you are isolating yourself, and so that's one 875 00:46:58,000 --> 00:46:59,360 Speaker 3: of the things you gotta This is where you got 876 00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:02,879 Speaker 3: to gotta say. It's like, it's like if somebody wants 877 00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:05,200 Speaker 3: to play, if somebody wants to gamble, you gotta know, Okay, well, 878 00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:07,840 Speaker 3: how much can I can I Do I gamble a 879 00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:11,400 Speaker 3: little bit? Or do I gamble a lot? You gamble 880 00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:13,160 Speaker 3: a little bit, and you say, hey, I don't get 881 00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:14,960 Speaker 3: a chance to do everything that I'd like to do, 882 00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:17,840 Speaker 3: but hey, if I like to play a little you know, 883 00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:20,839 Speaker 3: black jagg, I like to play a little Roulette. I'm 884 00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:23,120 Speaker 3: sitting inside of this amount to be able to say 885 00:47:23,120 --> 00:47:25,400 Speaker 3: and if I this is all I can wager, then 886 00:47:25,440 --> 00:47:27,359 Speaker 3: that's all I can wager. Now, if you've got if 887 00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:29,400 Speaker 3: you throw cass into the winner, you have a certain 888 00:47:29,440 --> 00:47:31,239 Speaker 3: type of career or you live a life that'say, if 889 00:47:31,239 --> 00:47:32,799 Speaker 3: I do what the hell I want, that you can. 890 00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:35,319 Speaker 3: It's not a gamble. You do what you want. So 891 00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:40,080 Speaker 3: even if you are spotted by somebody, or some people 892 00:47:40,120 --> 00:47:43,480 Speaker 3: call it if you're clocked by somebody, it doesn't matter 893 00:47:43,520 --> 00:47:48,359 Speaker 3: to you. So you have more to proverbially gamble, But yeah, 894 00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:51,560 Speaker 3: is it free? No, it's it's it's not because you 895 00:47:51,600 --> 00:47:55,759 Speaker 3: can't know, because you have to make sacrifices. 896 00:47:55,200 --> 00:47:56,560 Speaker 2: That you find time to fit it in when you 897 00:47:56,600 --> 00:47:59,440 Speaker 2: can fit it in, right, But because of the isolation, 898 00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:01,360 Speaker 2: has this impact that you're mental health? 899 00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:07,680 Speaker 3: It's it's it's a lonely it can be a lonely existence. 900 00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:09,479 Speaker 3: So has an impact of my mental health? I would 901 00:48:09,480 --> 00:48:12,400 Speaker 3: say no, but it is a lonely existence because again, 902 00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:16,040 Speaker 3: you don't it's not like you can you know, somebody 903 00:48:16,040 --> 00:48:17,880 Speaker 3: you can say, hey, I'm going to hoop today at 904 00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:19,279 Speaker 3: two from two to five, can you go? 905 00:48:19,320 --> 00:48:19,440 Speaker 4: Oh? 906 00:48:19,480 --> 00:48:21,520 Speaker 3: I can go? Okay, I meet your depart I meet 907 00:48:21,520 --> 00:48:23,440 Speaker 3: you to the gym, or I'm going to work out today. 908 00:48:23,480 --> 00:48:25,920 Speaker 3: Can you go? Yeah, I can go. It's not you 909 00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:29,640 Speaker 3: don't have that. So it is a very lonely existence. 910 00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:31,959 Speaker 3: And especially if you don't have someone in your life 911 00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:35,200 Speaker 3: who can say, oh, okay, hey, you make an agreement 912 00:48:35,239 --> 00:48:38,640 Speaker 3: with them and they say, hey, you know three for 913 00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:41,080 Speaker 3: from from three to six, you can you can you 914 00:48:41,080 --> 00:48:44,520 Speaker 3: can dress as your other self, okay, cool, and I'll 915 00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:47,120 Speaker 3: be here and you know that's your agreement and it's 916 00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:51,160 Speaker 3: so fine. Then that's not that's not that's helpful, because 917 00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:54,000 Speaker 3: I think that you're a person who have who have 918 00:48:54,080 --> 00:48:55,840 Speaker 3: a situation like that and say, hey, I got the 919 00:48:55,840 --> 00:48:58,440 Speaker 3: best of both worlds because I get a chance to 920 00:48:58,440 --> 00:49:00,880 Speaker 3: do what i'd like to do. But I within reason, 921 00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:03,080 Speaker 3: and I think you may if we all make deals, 922 00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:05,200 Speaker 3: and you make deals to say, hey, I can have 923 00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:07,480 Speaker 3: three hours on Saturday. Okay, cool, I think three hours 924 00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:11,000 Speaker 3: on Saturday. But that's that's that's not my story. So 925 00:49:11,239 --> 00:49:15,759 Speaker 3: I think it's I I often think that it's a 926 00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:19,760 Speaker 3: lonely existence. But I'd rather be lonely in my truth 927 00:49:20,480 --> 00:49:25,200 Speaker 3: than than than to be around a lot of people 928 00:49:25,280 --> 00:49:27,399 Speaker 3: and live a lot and live a complete and total lot. 929 00:49:27,719 --> 00:49:30,560 Speaker 2: That's a fact. That was a bar right there. But 930 00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:33,520 Speaker 2: because it's so, it can be lonely at times. Have 931 00:49:33,600 --> 00:49:34,600 Speaker 2: you ever tried to fight it? 932 00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:39,080 Speaker 3: I have, I have and and and there is a 933 00:49:39,239 --> 00:49:42,120 Speaker 3: common term in anybody that's that's that's cross stressor. And 934 00:49:42,600 --> 00:49:44,800 Speaker 3: if they've been uh, if it's been a part of 935 00:49:44,840 --> 00:49:46,560 Speaker 3: the left for a lot has done something with it's 936 00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:48,719 Speaker 3: called purging. That's where you take all your ship and 937 00:49:48,760 --> 00:49:50,439 Speaker 3: throw it away. You said, I'm never doing the skin. 938 00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:53,840 Speaker 3: I pray to the good lord, Lord, take this from me. 939 00:49:53,920 --> 00:49:56,319 Speaker 3: I don't want to do this. Please and thank you, 940 00:49:56,440 --> 00:49:59,040 Speaker 3: thank you very much. I am done. And you might 941 00:49:59,239 --> 00:50:01,960 Speaker 3: be for You might make it a month, you might 942 00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:04,600 Speaker 3: make it a year, you might make it two years. 943 00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:07,719 Speaker 3: It's gonna call you back. And when it calls you back, 944 00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:11,480 Speaker 3: and it ain't gonna be gentle, it's gonna be schul stirring, 945 00:50:11,600 --> 00:50:15,920 Speaker 3: where you're gonna say, Okay, I've got I need to 946 00:50:16,400 --> 00:50:18,879 Speaker 3: I need I need some time, I need some time 947 00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:23,120 Speaker 3: to spend where I can indulge in this space. And yeah, 948 00:50:23,200 --> 00:50:26,480 Speaker 3: and and that call is not it's rough. It's rough 949 00:50:26,520 --> 00:50:29,400 Speaker 3: because you didn't have to say, oh yeah, it's it's brutal, 950 00:50:29,520 --> 00:50:32,960 Speaker 3: it's good, you know it's it's brutal. And so you 951 00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:35,200 Speaker 3: just you have times that you say, no, I need, 952 00:50:35,239 --> 00:50:37,120 Speaker 3: I need to do this, and you have to make 953 00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:42,120 Speaker 3: time for it. And so yeah, yeah, so I've done 954 00:50:42,120 --> 00:50:48,640 Speaker 3: that and I think I've had four purchase and you 955 00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:53,759 Speaker 3: don't forget. I can tell you I can measure it's 956 00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:55,919 Speaker 3: for because I can tell you every place, every every 957 00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:57,120 Speaker 3: dumpster I took my stuff to. 958 00:50:57,520 --> 00:51:01,880 Speaker 2: Wow there one it was the one particular person that 959 00:51:01,960 --> 00:51:02,960 Speaker 2: was like painful for you. 960 00:51:03,920 --> 00:51:08,960 Speaker 3: All of them. They all steam. They all steam because 961 00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:12,000 Speaker 3: and imagine if a person said, a person where a 962 00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,840 Speaker 3: sneaker hitd Yeah, and they said, look, I love sneakers. 963 00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:17,600 Speaker 3: This is what I do. And then they got to 964 00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:20,160 Speaker 3: a point, let's say that they were they collect a 965 00:51:20,200 --> 00:51:22,480 Speaker 3: sneaker since they were eighteen nineteen years old, and then 966 00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:25,200 Speaker 3: they get to thirty five and they feel like, well, 967 00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:26,719 Speaker 3: this is silly. I don't know why I do this. 968 00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:28,800 Speaker 3: I got that makes sense to have all these sneakers. 969 00:51:28,800 --> 00:51:30,560 Speaker 3: It's just stupid. I should get rid of them. And 970 00:51:30,560 --> 00:51:32,640 Speaker 3: then they said I'm just gonna sell them, or I'm 971 00:51:32,680 --> 00:51:35,520 Speaker 3: just gonna give them away, or I'm just gonna donate them. 972 00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:38,759 Speaker 3: And then they look up and they see and they realized, 973 00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:42,000 Speaker 3: you know what, I was really passionate about my sneakers. Yeah, 974 00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:45,400 Speaker 3: my sneakers meant something to me. And then you realize 975 00:51:46,200 --> 00:51:49,640 Speaker 3: you gave away some pairs that you can't even get anymore. Yeah, 976 00:51:49,960 --> 00:51:53,640 Speaker 3: that's when it sets in and you go, I'm starting 977 00:51:53,640 --> 00:51:55,799 Speaker 3: to lose things that are near and dear to me, 978 00:51:56,120 --> 00:51:58,760 Speaker 3: and I can't find it. I can't find this anymore. 979 00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:00,759 Speaker 3: This isn't made. This may in fact sure to put 980 00:52:00,760 --> 00:52:03,560 Speaker 3: the store to make this anymore. I had one of 981 00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:06,799 Speaker 3: the last ones. Uh, yeah, it doesn't come in this 982 00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:10,000 Speaker 3: color anymore. You yet it's painful to damn. 983 00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:12,959 Speaker 2: I can't even imagine because if I'm thrown away something 984 00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:16,080 Speaker 2: that's my favorite, something that I cherish like that, I 985 00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:16,800 Speaker 2: would be crying. 986 00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:22,279 Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. And I've never never cried, but I have had. 987 00:52:22,400 --> 00:52:27,400 Speaker 3: This is painful, like it's samed. It really really stings. 988 00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:30,960 Speaker 3: It's yeah, it's think that's that's the one said. 989 00:52:31,160 --> 00:52:34,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, Now, I know you mentioned that you haven't seen 990 00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:37,160 Speaker 2: a cross dresser in person, but do you connect with 991 00:52:37,239 --> 00:52:40,520 Speaker 2: anybody online from the community I have? 992 00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:46,080 Speaker 3: I have, and and so it's and it's been interesting 993 00:52:46,160 --> 00:52:51,080 Speaker 3: because I've met some really some really cool people. And 994 00:52:51,120 --> 00:52:52,880 Speaker 3: the thing about it is, this is one of the 995 00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:58,560 Speaker 3: I've met people from all walks of life. Right, I've 996 00:52:58,600 --> 00:53:03,720 Speaker 3: met doctor's attorneys and ineers, teachers, uh, professors at universities, 997 00:53:05,400 --> 00:53:09,240 Speaker 3: a person who's a television reporter. A matter of fact, 998 00:53:09,280 --> 00:53:11,640 Speaker 3: crazy part about it, I grew up. I grew up 999 00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:13,480 Speaker 3: in the side of the person a television reporter for 1000 00:53:13,719 --> 00:53:16,640 Speaker 3: And I've seen this person traveled to this particular city, 1001 00:53:16,920 --> 00:53:20,040 Speaker 3: and have seen this person on television, and you would 1002 00:53:20,040 --> 00:53:22,279 Speaker 3: never know. And that's the thing you you don't know, 1003 00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:24,080 Speaker 3: You literally don't know. 1004 00:53:24,239 --> 00:53:25,680 Speaker 2: But do you think you can spot them out? 1005 00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:25,960 Speaker 3: Though? 1006 00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:28,239 Speaker 4: Uh? 1007 00:53:28,560 --> 00:53:30,560 Speaker 3: Spot them out? You mean in terms of what. 1008 00:53:30,880 --> 00:53:33,040 Speaker 2: Like you think you can spot out another cross dresser? 1009 00:53:33,880 --> 00:53:39,480 Speaker 3: Absolutely not, m absolutely not, absolutely not. Sure can't because 1010 00:53:39,560 --> 00:53:42,200 Speaker 3: and the thing of now, and if you're leaving trails, 1011 00:53:42,280 --> 00:53:45,920 Speaker 3: then then I might get I might have an inclination 1012 00:53:47,160 --> 00:53:49,880 Speaker 3: just to say, yeah, if you're dropping clues, then I'll 1013 00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:53,000 Speaker 3: catch on. I'll catch on. But if you're if you can, 1014 00:53:53,080 --> 00:53:56,359 Speaker 3: if you can mask it like most of us masters can't, 1015 00:53:56,360 --> 00:54:00,000 Speaker 3: you wouldn't have a clue. You you wouldn't have a clue. 1016 00:54:00,239 --> 00:54:02,440 Speaker 3: And I think, and I'll be honest with you, I 1017 00:54:02,480 --> 00:54:04,960 Speaker 3: think I would have I'm willing to bet you a 1018 00:54:05,120 --> 00:54:10,959 Speaker 3: chrisp Bill see that. Brothers probably hide at the best. 1019 00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:18,840 Speaker 3: M hm ya wow, Yeah, for sure, for sure. Because 1020 00:54:18,880 --> 00:54:20,160 Speaker 3: we have to be a bunch of things. Let me 1021 00:54:20,239 --> 00:54:22,760 Speaker 3: think about it. We gotta be we gotta be strong, 1022 00:54:22,840 --> 00:54:25,200 Speaker 3: we gotta be upstanding, we gotta be this, we gotta 1023 00:54:25,239 --> 00:54:27,840 Speaker 3: be hard. You know. We the same people that's bobbing 1024 00:54:27,880 --> 00:54:31,160 Speaker 3: our heads. They can recite the damn the every song 1025 00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:34,799 Speaker 3: from every every every hit jay Z ever made, every hit, 1026 00:54:37,920 --> 00:54:41,239 Speaker 3: every hit Killer Mike ever made, every hit t I 1027 00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:45,960 Speaker 3: ever made, every hit podcast can recite them all. Live it, 1028 00:54:46,280 --> 00:54:48,439 Speaker 3: walk it, do it. But happen to have this little 1029 00:54:48,440 --> 00:54:51,000 Speaker 3: part of that personality that you would never know about 1030 00:54:51,360 --> 00:54:54,279 Speaker 3: and hide they do. I can hide it like nobody's business. 1031 00:55:03,280 --> 00:55:05,560 Speaker 2: So that's why I wanted to do this conversation with 1032 00:55:05,640 --> 00:55:07,719 Speaker 2: you and also just do the Men series because I 1033 00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:10,319 Speaker 2: just want black men to just feel comfortable and just be. 1034 00:55:10,880 --> 00:55:14,040 Speaker 2: And I think that because of so many different factors, 1035 00:55:14,040 --> 00:55:16,480 Speaker 2: including our own people, they make it. We make it 1036 00:55:16,640 --> 00:55:20,120 Speaker 2: very hard for black men just to be a man, 1037 00:55:20,520 --> 00:55:22,200 Speaker 2: just to be wherever you want to be in that moment. 1038 00:55:22,480 --> 00:55:24,040 Speaker 2: And I think that's very unfortunate. 1039 00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:27,920 Speaker 3: Well, yeah, because we because I think that, And I 1040 00:55:27,920 --> 00:55:30,200 Speaker 3: appreciate yourself first and foremost me let me do I 1041 00:55:30,239 --> 00:55:33,920 Speaker 3: appreciate you saying what you just said. Uh, And and 1042 00:55:33,960 --> 00:55:37,279 Speaker 3: I'll add to that by saying, because we have to 1043 00:55:37,320 --> 00:55:40,120 Speaker 3: be so many things, and then the media portrays us 1044 00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:44,600 Speaker 3: as being something, and then you fact you have some 1045 00:55:45,040 --> 00:55:48,960 Speaker 3: sensors who'll say things that aren't the best. And then, 1046 00:55:49,200 --> 00:55:51,640 Speaker 3: let's be honest, then you got some brothers that actually, 1047 00:55:51,680 --> 00:55:53,480 Speaker 3: it's like you brought that shit to life because you're 1048 00:55:53,680 --> 00:55:57,640 Speaker 3: you're doing everything that they said, so you're not helping 1049 00:55:57,719 --> 00:56:00,200 Speaker 3: those that are trying to say, hey, let me be, 1050 00:56:01,040 --> 00:56:02,640 Speaker 3: let me be all the things that I need to 1051 00:56:02,640 --> 00:56:06,240 Speaker 3: be and then some. But we don't. And it doesn't 1052 00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:10,440 Speaker 3: allow for flexibility. It's a very rigid a good let 1053 00:56:10,440 --> 00:56:12,759 Speaker 3: me say that's a good black man or or or 1054 00:56:13,080 --> 00:56:15,160 Speaker 3: they call a BMW a black man, a good black 1055 00:56:15,200 --> 00:56:19,480 Speaker 3: man working, a gb the a g BMW have a 1056 00:56:19,600 --> 00:56:24,160 Speaker 3: very good black man working has a very rigid expectation. 1057 00:56:24,719 --> 00:56:28,960 Speaker 3: It doesn't have any flexibility. It is it is expected you, 1058 00:56:28,680 --> 00:56:33,520 Speaker 3: so you should be this. It is cookie cutter as hell. Yeah, 1059 00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:38,960 Speaker 3: and it doesn't allow room for brothers to breathe. And 1060 00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:41,920 Speaker 3: so I think that being under that, it's like it's 1061 00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:44,560 Speaker 3: it's like it's a science experiment that if you put 1062 00:56:44,760 --> 00:56:47,279 Speaker 3: you put a magnifying glass, how's it going to put 1063 00:56:47,280 --> 00:56:50,960 Speaker 3: a magnifying glass on something and basically riot because it 1064 00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:53,680 Speaker 3: gets so hot. That's what it's like to have that 1065 00:56:53,719 --> 00:56:56,160 Speaker 3: magnifying glass on you and sitting up under that, up 1066 00:56:56,200 --> 00:57:00,760 Speaker 3: under this proverbial sun as you are just getting I'm cooked. 1067 00:57:01,440 --> 00:57:05,080 Speaker 3: And it's like but hey, and you can't say anything 1068 00:57:05,239 --> 00:57:09,080 Speaker 3: that's considered to be outside the norm or else the 1069 00:57:09,200 --> 00:57:12,799 Speaker 3: labels and the tag start coming, and then it's like, well, hey, 1070 00:57:12,840 --> 00:57:15,359 Speaker 3: I might as wenna shut up, And so you look 1071 00:57:15,400 --> 00:57:18,120 Speaker 3: around and it's like, well, damn, I really can't say anything. 1072 00:57:18,160 --> 00:57:21,440 Speaker 3: And the crazy part about it is that studies actually 1073 00:57:21,480 --> 00:57:24,400 Speaker 3: show that the older men get men start to talk less. 1074 00:57:24,400 --> 00:57:30,240 Speaker 3: So imagine if you've already been told be silent, be strong, walk, 1075 00:57:30,920 --> 00:57:33,280 Speaker 3: do this, which all things. I got no problem with that. Again, 1076 00:57:33,320 --> 00:57:34,520 Speaker 3: I'm not trying to be bitch you, but I'm just 1077 00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:36,200 Speaker 3: saying you can do all these things, and then you 1078 00:57:36,240 --> 00:57:38,120 Speaker 3: start to get the facets of your life. When you 1079 00:57:38,240 --> 00:57:42,120 Speaker 3: stop this, it's natural to stop communicating verbally as much. 1080 00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:44,720 Speaker 3: So now you have gone through life with all this 1081 00:57:44,720 --> 00:57:47,680 Speaker 3: stuff in your shoulders. So going back to metaphorically what 1082 00:57:47,720 --> 00:57:49,960 Speaker 3: I was saying before, if you keep taking on burden 1083 00:57:50,040 --> 00:57:52,440 Speaker 3: and taking on weight and taking on weight and taking 1084 00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:55,440 Speaker 3: on weight and you don't shed or have a place 1085 00:57:55,480 --> 00:57:58,480 Speaker 3: to talk about the things that you're carrying, you off 1086 00:57:58,560 --> 00:58:00,000 Speaker 3: right in the ground. And so that's why I think 1087 00:58:00,080 --> 00:58:02,280 Speaker 3: you see a lot of a lot of black men. Basically, 1088 00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:03,960 Speaker 3: I mean, look at look at the look at the 1089 00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:07,040 Speaker 3: mortality race for black men. Yeah, I average average black 1090 00:58:07,080 --> 00:58:09,560 Speaker 3: man is supposed to live like seventy to seventy two 1091 00:58:09,600 --> 00:58:10,760 Speaker 3: everyge white man just being. 1092 00:58:11,320 --> 00:58:16,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, damnar ninety. Yeah, you know, you make a good point. 1093 00:58:16,640 --> 00:58:18,040 Speaker 2: I want I don't want to give too much away, 1094 00:58:18,080 --> 00:58:19,960 Speaker 2: but I feel like I have an older person in 1095 00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:24,840 Speaker 2: my life that I just recently met, and this older 1096 00:58:24,840 --> 00:58:27,680 Speaker 2: person doesn't know that I know that they are gay. 1097 00:58:29,120 --> 00:58:32,320 Speaker 2: And where this person is from, being that he's an 1098 00:58:32,320 --> 00:58:36,320 Speaker 2: older black man. You know how men can be now 1099 00:58:36,360 --> 00:58:39,400 Speaker 2: with their sexuality. That was an absolute no when this 1100 00:58:39,440 --> 00:58:42,120 Speaker 2: person was growing up. And you know, I'll call this 1101 00:58:42,160 --> 00:58:43,840 Speaker 2: person and check up on him, make sure they're good 1102 00:58:43,880 --> 00:58:46,600 Speaker 2: and stuff, and you know, it just pains me that, 1103 00:58:46,760 --> 00:58:50,920 Speaker 2: like I know that he's masking right like, because I 1104 00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:53,560 Speaker 2: know what masking feels like, and I just sometimes I 1105 00:58:53,600 --> 00:58:55,840 Speaker 2: just think I think of him when I have conversations 1106 00:58:55,840 --> 00:58:58,520 Speaker 2: with men like yourself or just men in general, and 1107 00:58:58,080 --> 00:59:00,560 Speaker 2: it's just like, damn, like it really sucks when you 1108 00:59:00,640 --> 00:59:05,720 Speaker 2: just cannot be yourself sure true, and it makes me sad. 1109 00:59:07,200 --> 00:59:10,960 Speaker 3: It is sad because what the very it now becomes 1110 00:59:11,080 --> 00:59:14,040 Speaker 3: very likely that this person who you obviously have a 1111 00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:18,200 Speaker 3: fondness for right will will will leave this earth not 1112 00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:20,960 Speaker 3: having in his true self and which ultimately makes that 1113 00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:21,960 Speaker 3: person unhappy. 1114 00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:22,880 Speaker 4: Right. 1115 00:59:23,560 --> 00:59:25,880 Speaker 2: And as I speak more and more to him, I 1116 00:59:25,880 --> 00:59:28,080 Speaker 2: can hear him getting sicker and stuff, and I'm just like, 1117 00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:30,240 Speaker 2: and I'm pretty sure to have something that has to 1118 00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:32,240 Speaker 2: do with his old age. But it's just like, damn like, 1119 00:59:32,360 --> 00:59:34,040 Speaker 2: I just want you to be able to just fully 1120 00:59:34,080 --> 00:59:36,480 Speaker 2: be able to be yourself when you feel like at 1121 00:59:36,520 --> 00:59:37,520 Speaker 2: all times. 1122 00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:40,600 Speaker 3: You know. But and the sad part about that is 1123 00:59:40,680 --> 00:59:43,000 Speaker 3: that the best years that that person would have had 1124 00:59:43,040 --> 00:59:46,560 Speaker 3: to be his true self, let's be honest, are gone. Yeah. 1125 00:59:47,520 --> 00:59:49,320 Speaker 3: And it's not me, I'm not being morbid. It's just 1126 00:59:49,320 --> 00:59:52,880 Speaker 3: saying it is person that's older and they're getting sicker 1127 00:59:52,920 --> 00:59:55,919 Speaker 3: than your best years to be your true self gone. 1128 00:59:56,120 --> 00:59:58,840 Speaker 2: Your best years are behind you exactly. 1129 00:59:59,240 --> 01:00:01,960 Speaker 3: Yeah. So you got you got, You got more stories 1130 01:00:02,000 --> 01:00:04,400 Speaker 3: to tell about a life that you about a false 1131 01:00:04,480 --> 01:00:07,680 Speaker 3: life than you do stories about your truth. 1132 01:00:08,080 --> 01:00:08,320 Speaker 4: Yeah. 1133 01:00:08,720 --> 01:00:12,160 Speaker 2: Yeah. So with that being said, what advice would you 1134 01:00:12,200 --> 01:00:14,880 Speaker 2: give to younger black men who are just beginning to 1135 01:00:14,920 --> 01:00:16,120 Speaker 2: explore cross dressing. 1136 01:00:19,920 --> 01:00:26,120 Speaker 3: Be be honest, be respectful, be respectful of yourself, of 1137 01:00:26,160 --> 01:00:30,960 Speaker 3: your race, of your women, of the of of the 1138 01:00:31,040 --> 01:00:37,240 Speaker 3: concept of women h b B. Be safe, Be be 1139 01:00:38,760 --> 01:00:42,200 Speaker 3: mindful of where you go and what you're doing, and 1140 01:00:42,240 --> 01:00:45,760 Speaker 3: who you share this with. You cannot tell everybody, and 1141 01:00:45,840 --> 01:00:48,680 Speaker 3: somebody can say, well, look at what you're doing. It's like, yeah, 1142 01:00:48,720 --> 01:00:51,160 Speaker 3: but I got some things in place that allow people 1143 01:00:51,200 --> 01:00:56,000 Speaker 3: not to know. Yeah, who who I, who I am 1144 01:00:56,640 --> 01:00:58,840 Speaker 3: to to to to a t do you know things 1145 01:00:58,880 --> 01:01:02,280 Speaker 3: about my personality? Yes, by way of this discussion, yes, 1146 01:01:02,560 --> 01:01:04,680 Speaker 3: but nobody's gonna walk on me and be like it 1147 01:01:04,720 --> 01:01:05,000 Speaker 3: was you. 1148 01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:07,040 Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh no, listen, we had a nice, 1149 01:01:07,120 --> 01:01:08,240 Speaker 2: thorough conversation. 1150 01:01:09,160 --> 01:01:11,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, so we had a conversation. No, you don't so, 1151 01:01:12,080 --> 01:01:15,920 Speaker 3: I but you. And that being said, there was, and 1152 01:01:15,960 --> 01:01:18,560 Speaker 3: if I could be candid and be truthful to kind 1153 01:01:18,560 --> 01:01:23,080 Speaker 3: of give everybody some insight about the person leading this conversation, 1154 01:01:24,040 --> 01:01:27,240 Speaker 3: You're talking about an amazing lady who said, you know what, 1155 01:01:27,720 --> 01:01:31,000 Speaker 3: I'm trying to find out something about my people, and 1156 01:01:31,080 --> 01:01:34,360 Speaker 3: I'm trying to expose my people to some to a 1157 01:01:34,400 --> 01:01:37,400 Speaker 3: greater portion of us and things and topics that we 1158 01:01:37,440 --> 01:01:40,160 Speaker 3: don't get to talk about. So I say that to 1159 01:01:40,280 --> 01:01:42,400 Speaker 3: say that there was no way that I was going 1160 01:01:42,520 --> 01:01:46,040 Speaker 3: to share this and be candid with somebody who was 1161 01:01:46,080 --> 01:01:49,320 Speaker 3: not going to take my situation into consideration to say, hey, 1162 01:01:49,640 --> 01:01:52,280 Speaker 3: you know, I'm going to put this in a perspective 1163 01:01:52,320 --> 01:01:56,120 Speaker 3: and in a way that it will keep you safe. 1164 01:01:56,120 --> 01:01:58,640 Speaker 3: But at the same time, together we can we can 1165 01:01:58,720 --> 01:02:01,320 Speaker 3: get some information to people that lets them know what 1166 01:02:01,720 --> 01:02:06,040 Speaker 3: there is a there is a strong, strong, strong level 1167 01:02:06,120 --> 01:02:11,520 Speaker 3: of normalcy. Yes, there's no nothing sinister. This is not 1168 01:02:11,680 --> 01:02:13,880 Speaker 3: some I don't even when people say, oh, you have 1169 01:02:13,960 --> 01:02:15,840 Speaker 3: a like if somebody were to say you have an 1170 01:02:15,920 --> 01:02:19,800 Speaker 3: alternative lifestyle, I don't, I don't and I don't even know. 1171 01:02:19,880 --> 01:02:21,720 Speaker 3: And then I think the bigger question than to be 1172 01:02:21,840 --> 01:02:24,640 Speaker 3: asked is well, what exactly is that? Because you could 1173 01:02:24,680 --> 01:02:27,480 Speaker 3: be putting in some people who who live very normal 1174 01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:29,880 Speaker 3: and and in a buck and a bucket that they 1175 01:02:29,920 --> 01:02:32,480 Speaker 3: would say, I don't think that's appropriate or applicable, because 1176 01:02:32,480 --> 01:02:35,280 Speaker 3: my life is not. We all have alternatives. We have 1177 01:02:35,280 --> 01:02:37,240 Speaker 3: an alternative to be a bunch of stuff, you know. 1178 01:02:37,360 --> 01:02:39,919 Speaker 3: So every if that's the case that everybody truly lives 1179 01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:43,000 Speaker 3: an alternative life style, there's no alternatives. Do something opposite of what. 1180 01:02:42,920 --> 01:02:45,400 Speaker 2: You do, Yes, that's just that you choose not to 1181 01:02:45,480 --> 01:02:45,800 Speaker 2: do it. 1182 01:02:45,840 --> 01:02:48,400 Speaker 3: So let's if you take words it words mean. With 1183 01:02:48,480 --> 01:02:50,880 Speaker 3: words mean, you try to bend them and make them 1184 01:02:50,920 --> 01:02:52,600 Speaker 3: mean something else. But at the end of the day, 1185 01:02:52,680 --> 01:02:57,200 Speaker 3: words right. So if that's the case, then that's then 1186 01:02:57,360 --> 01:02:59,240 Speaker 3: you know, some people need to go back and do 1187 01:02:59,320 --> 01:03:02,120 Speaker 3: some self checking. But getting back to the point, you 1188 01:03:02,240 --> 01:03:05,000 Speaker 3: got this amazing young lady who said, Hey, I want 1189 01:03:05,040 --> 01:03:08,760 Speaker 3: to talk about some things that are relevant to people, 1190 01:03:08,960 --> 01:03:13,120 Speaker 3: and when and wherever possible relevant to my people and 1191 01:03:13,280 --> 01:03:17,400 Speaker 3: get people's minds open. And so that is why I 1192 01:03:17,440 --> 01:03:20,600 Speaker 3: felt comfortable enough to have this conversation with this young 1193 01:03:20,680 --> 01:03:25,000 Speaker 3: lady that that's talking with me. So she's amazing, and 1194 01:03:25,200 --> 01:03:27,160 Speaker 3: quite honestly, if she weren't, then I would say, you 1195 01:03:27,160 --> 01:03:28,440 Speaker 3: know what, let me just shut up and keep my 1196 01:03:28,560 --> 01:03:29,520 Speaker 3: keep my little story mind. 1197 01:03:30,800 --> 01:03:31,000 Speaker 1: Yeah. 1198 01:03:31,120 --> 01:03:33,480 Speaker 2: Now I appreciate you because I told you off the 1199 01:03:33,520 --> 01:03:36,440 Speaker 2: air that initially, when I was looking for I was 1200 01:03:36,480 --> 01:03:39,280 Speaker 2: doing research on this topic. Your story was something that 1201 01:03:39,360 --> 01:03:42,480 Speaker 2: I was looking forward to because I felt like more 1202 01:03:42,600 --> 01:03:45,520 Speaker 2: men can probably relate to it because of the stigma 1203 01:03:45,600 --> 01:03:48,080 Speaker 2: that comes with it. And when we was going back 1204 01:03:48,120 --> 01:03:49,800 Speaker 2: and forth for your emails, I'm like, damn it, fee 1205 01:03:49,800 --> 01:03:51,080 Speaker 2: like I've been knowing this man for like a long 1206 01:03:51,120 --> 01:03:53,920 Speaker 2: time because it just felt so casual. And I am 1207 01:03:54,000 --> 01:03:57,760 Speaker 2: thankful for my previous guest because I do feel like 1208 01:03:57,880 --> 01:04:00,800 Speaker 2: even though it's the same storyline, you know, it can 1209 01:04:00,840 --> 01:04:03,000 Speaker 2: happen in different ways. So I like the fact that 1210 01:04:03,040 --> 01:04:05,600 Speaker 2: you did email me and you know you want you 1211 01:04:05,640 --> 01:04:08,080 Speaker 2: want to share your perspective because I believe that people 1212 01:04:08,080 --> 01:04:10,320 Speaker 2: can be able to relate to both. So I really 1213 01:04:10,320 --> 01:04:11,600 Speaker 2: appreciate you for reaching out. 1214 01:04:13,240 --> 01:04:16,400 Speaker 3: Yeah. Absolutely, And the previous guests, you know, there's no 1215 01:04:16,760 --> 01:04:19,680 Speaker 3: there's no shade, there's there's being thrown or anything like that. 1216 01:04:19,720 --> 01:04:22,520 Speaker 3: It's just I wanted to be able to say that 1217 01:04:23,840 --> 01:04:27,760 Speaker 3: the topic is, they're so little on the topic. I 1218 01:04:27,760 --> 01:04:30,600 Speaker 3: didn't want some I wouldn't want somebody to listen to 1219 01:04:30,760 --> 01:04:34,200 Speaker 3: that particular episode of your show and say, oh, yeah, 1220 01:04:34,320 --> 01:04:38,320 Speaker 3: that's what I thought. Yeah it's so it's because it's 1221 01:04:38,360 --> 01:04:41,200 Speaker 3: not that and I think that it's and so to 1222 01:04:41,280 --> 01:04:43,880 Speaker 3: the greatest extent to say, I don't want to use 1223 01:04:43,880 --> 01:04:48,960 Speaker 3: the word normalcy because that that particularly individual's life is normal. 1224 01:04:49,040 --> 01:04:53,480 Speaker 3: That's their normal. Absolutely with this particular concept, but from 1225 01:04:53,520 --> 01:04:55,760 Speaker 3: a more I know the word that I use from 1226 01:04:55,800 --> 01:05:01,360 Speaker 3: a more conservative perspective, it does exist, and that level 1227 01:05:01,520 --> 01:05:08,880 Speaker 3: of that level of conservativeness does exist, and there are 1228 01:05:09,040 --> 01:05:12,040 Speaker 3: people who say, hey, this is not something that I've 1229 01:05:12,040 --> 01:05:14,520 Speaker 3: blocked to everybody, but it is something that I have 1230 01:05:14,640 --> 01:05:18,480 Speaker 3: to do to make me feel whole. So yeah, yeah, 1231 01:05:18,520 --> 01:05:21,080 Speaker 3: again it's it's a different perspective, but it's a more 1232 01:05:21,120 --> 01:05:22,320 Speaker 3: conservative perspective. 1233 01:05:22,400 --> 01:05:25,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I agree, I totally agree. And last, but 1234 01:05:25,840 --> 01:05:28,560 Speaker 2: not least, what would you have wanted to hear when 1235 01:05:28,600 --> 01:05:29,240 Speaker 2: you were younger? 1236 01:05:33,240 --> 01:05:33,360 Speaker 4: Uh? 1237 01:05:33,840 --> 01:05:37,960 Speaker 3: That I wasn't by myself. Hmm, that wasn't by myself. 1238 01:05:38,040 --> 01:05:41,320 Speaker 3: I would have I would have. I think it's interesting 1239 01:05:41,400 --> 01:05:44,200 Speaker 3: you asked that question. I think about that with some 1240 01:05:44,240 --> 01:05:48,800 Speaker 3: sort of regularity and say how or or asked the question. 1241 01:05:49,120 --> 01:05:52,760 Speaker 3: How helpful would it have been to be able to 1242 01:05:53,040 --> 01:05:56,080 Speaker 3: have somebody that I could say, hey, can I tell 1243 01:05:56,120 --> 01:05:59,880 Speaker 3: you something? Hey me, I like to do that too, 1244 01:06:00,640 --> 01:06:02,960 Speaker 3: And not not I mean somebody that now not appear. 1245 01:06:03,520 --> 01:06:06,000 Speaker 3: It's somebody that could have been older, somebody who could 1246 01:06:06,040 --> 01:06:11,200 Speaker 3: have said hey, like a mentor it's just somebody to say, hey, well, 1247 01:06:11,200 --> 01:06:13,640 Speaker 3: when you want to talk about that, then we can 1248 01:06:13,680 --> 01:06:16,520 Speaker 3: talk about that. That way, I don't go through this 1249 01:06:18,480 --> 01:06:24,680 Speaker 3: psychological roller coaster where I'm saying, oh, it's okay, No, 1250 01:06:24,760 --> 01:06:26,560 Speaker 3: it's not okay. Oh it's okay. No, it's not okay. 1251 01:06:26,600 --> 01:06:28,480 Speaker 3: Oh it's not And you go through that, and then 1252 01:06:28,520 --> 01:06:31,720 Speaker 3: you have to and and and prayer for me. I 1253 01:06:31,760 --> 01:06:34,160 Speaker 3: hope that that people get to the point where they 1254 01:06:34,200 --> 01:06:38,080 Speaker 3: realize they can end up on a high and say hey, 1255 01:06:38,200 --> 01:06:40,880 Speaker 3: it is okay and there's no there's no there's no 1256 01:06:40,960 --> 01:06:43,360 Speaker 3: pitfall as long as you're not doing anything that puts 1257 01:06:43,360 --> 01:06:45,760 Speaker 3: you in harm's way. It's now you have to figure 1258 01:06:45,760 --> 01:06:49,680 Speaker 3: out how to navigate your way through that quote end quote. 1259 01:06:49,720 --> 01:06:54,040 Speaker 3: It's okay. Portion of whatever you deem is okay, however 1260 01:06:54,080 --> 01:06:57,200 Speaker 3: you deem it to be okay. But it's it's one 1261 01:06:57,240 --> 01:06:59,120 Speaker 3: of those things you got to have to figure out 1262 01:06:59,160 --> 01:07:02,080 Speaker 3: because it can be. It's rough. And I you know 1263 01:07:02,120 --> 01:07:04,520 Speaker 3: a boy about the grace of God. There there go 1264 01:07:04,680 --> 01:07:07,440 Speaker 3: on to be able to get to this point and say, 1265 01:07:07,520 --> 01:07:10,160 Speaker 3: all right, I got this thing figured out. Are there 1266 01:07:10,200 --> 01:07:12,000 Speaker 3: are there more things I'd like to do? Sure? There 1267 01:07:12,040 --> 01:07:15,680 Speaker 3: are are there experiences that I'd like to have. Absolutely 1268 01:07:16,080 --> 01:07:18,800 Speaker 3: would it be cool if I could say, hey, I 1269 01:07:18,800 --> 01:07:22,840 Speaker 3: can go to a mall if you will, and and 1270 01:07:23,040 --> 01:07:25,200 Speaker 3: just have a day where I shop and say hey, 1271 01:07:26,400 --> 01:07:30,160 Speaker 3: I was put together so well that I was able 1272 01:07:30,160 --> 01:07:33,880 Speaker 3: to experience this and excuse me that I'm I had 1273 01:07:33,880 --> 01:07:35,680 Speaker 3: a day or I had a few days to be 1274 01:07:35,680 --> 01:07:38,200 Speaker 3: able to get sure. I'd love to do that, but 1275 01:07:38,560 --> 01:07:42,600 Speaker 3: that's probably the likelihood that happens is probably slim. But 1276 01:07:44,360 --> 01:07:46,120 Speaker 3: just to be able to have had that, O Gena 1277 01:07:46,160 --> 01:07:49,600 Speaker 3: could say, sorry, you feel no problem, okay, wey, we 1278 01:07:49,760 --> 01:07:52,560 Speaker 3: talked about this. It's all right by yourself. You're not 1279 01:07:52,640 --> 01:07:55,959 Speaker 3: the only one. And I hope you feel that would 1280 01:07:55,960 --> 01:07:57,040 Speaker 3: have been that would have been amazing. 1281 01:07:57,640 --> 01:07:59,360 Speaker 2: I'm just curious what would you What would you do 1282 01:07:59,400 --> 01:08:00,520 Speaker 2: if any try to hit on you? 1283 01:08:05,160 --> 01:08:07,680 Speaker 3: You know, you just kind of say thank you and 1284 01:08:07,760 --> 01:08:08,120 Speaker 3: move on. 1285 01:08:08,320 --> 01:08:10,640 Speaker 2: But to think about it, because I feel like you 1286 01:08:10,680 --> 01:08:12,120 Speaker 2: would be like, nah, nigga, this ain't that. 1287 01:08:14,360 --> 01:08:16,000 Speaker 3: You don't see the thing about it? No, Okay, So 1288 01:08:16,040 --> 01:08:21,080 Speaker 3: now it's great, Okay, great, great, great segue, A great statement. 1289 01:08:21,800 --> 01:08:26,200 Speaker 3: You gotta be mindful now because you remember, you can't 1290 01:08:26,240 --> 01:08:29,960 Speaker 3: act out because if you act out, you could get 1291 01:08:29,960 --> 01:08:33,479 Speaker 3: a situation that you really don't want you could be 1292 01:08:33,880 --> 01:08:37,320 Speaker 3: it could get really ugly really fast. You just kind 1293 01:08:37,320 --> 01:08:39,880 Speaker 3: of have to say, you know, thank you, or you 1294 01:08:39,880 --> 01:08:42,800 Speaker 3: have to politely ignore and you have to move on. 1295 01:08:42,920 --> 01:08:44,559 Speaker 3: But it's not a thing of like, don't push up 1296 01:08:44,560 --> 01:08:47,000 Speaker 3: with me, and why why why would you get into that. 1297 01:08:47,320 --> 01:08:50,519 Speaker 3: There are times where you gotta let it go. Yeah, 1298 01:08:50,840 --> 01:08:52,680 Speaker 3: that's in life. So the times where you gotta let 1299 01:08:52,680 --> 01:08:54,679 Speaker 3: some shit go where you gotta I'm not getting into 1300 01:08:54,680 --> 01:08:57,120 Speaker 3: that with you, but you gotta just kind of move on. 1301 01:08:59,400 --> 01:09:05,719 Speaker 3: It has as I'll say this, I've been funked at before, 1302 01:09:06,280 --> 01:09:11,160 Speaker 3: and I have had I've had some what women might 1303 01:09:11,200 --> 01:09:14,880 Speaker 3: refer to as cat call because and I say and 1304 01:09:14,920 --> 01:09:18,120 Speaker 3: I say this because when I say that, there is 1305 01:09:18,160 --> 01:09:21,479 Speaker 3: a transformation that happens, there's a transformation that happened. I 1306 01:09:21,520 --> 01:09:27,080 Speaker 3: look nothing like my I look nothing like my male self, nothing, nothing, 1307 01:09:27,200 --> 01:09:32,599 Speaker 3: it actually yeah, it's it totally changes. And so it's 1308 01:09:32,680 --> 01:09:38,720 Speaker 3: kind of funny because a friend of mine, that a 1309 01:09:38,760 --> 01:09:42,600 Speaker 3: near and dear friend of mine who is also a 1310 01:09:42,680 --> 01:09:47,720 Speaker 3: gross stresser, and in a picture exchange, said Okay, now 1311 01:09:47,760 --> 01:09:49,240 Speaker 3: send me the picture of you, and I said that's me, 1312 01:09:50,439 --> 01:09:51,960 Speaker 3: and I was like, no, no, no, seriously, send me 1313 01:09:51,960 --> 01:09:54,000 Speaker 3: the picture of you. He said that's me. And it 1314 01:09:54,040 --> 01:09:56,559 Speaker 3: was funny because he's like, Okay, that's kind of scary 1315 01:09:56,600 --> 01:10:00,120 Speaker 3: because I would like I might try to ho and 1316 01:10:00,160 --> 01:10:03,519 Speaker 3: I was like, man, that's blannering. And he's like wow. 1317 01:10:03,680 --> 01:10:05,320 Speaker 3: He said no, he said, you see since you and 1318 01:10:05,360 --> 01:10:07,920 Speaker 3: I said and he says that, he said, you put 1319 01:10:07,960 --> 01:10:11,040 Speaker 3: together really well. And I was like, well, you observed nothing. 1320 01:10:11,120 --> 01:10:14,040 Speaker 3: You kind of figure out what the sentuating you know, 1321 01:10:14,080 --> 01:10:18,080 Speaker 3: we're putting place, and you kind of you got kind of. 1322 01:10:18,000 --> 01:10:21,320 Speaker 2: On and listen, y'all. This is probably the first guest 1323 01:10:21,479 --> 01:10:24,120 Speaker 2: and like I want to say, ever, I do not 1324 01:10:24,280 --> 01:10:25,479 Speaker 2: know what this person looks like. 1325 01:10:28,160 --> 01:10:34,200 Speaker 3: For now. For now, we cut a side deal. 1326 01:10:34,720 --> 01:10:37,519 Speaker 2: We cut a side deal, but I just want to 1327 01:10:37,520 --> 01:10:40,560 Speaker 2: put it out there so he might run up on 1328 01:10:40,640 --> 01:10:41,479 Speaker 2: me and be like, this is. 1329 01:10:41,439 --> 01:10:45,080 Speaker 3: So and so right right, but but the side but 1330 01:10:45,120 --> 01:10:47,200 Speaker 3: the side deal has been cut and will be offered. 1331 01:10:47,520 --> 01:10:50,120 Speaker 2: Yes, okay, perfect, and the. 1332 01:10:50,080 --> 01:10:53,559 Speaker 3: Side deal side deal is private, but the side private. 1333 01:10:53,760 --> 01:10:57,720 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, Well, I think this was an amazing conversation. 1334 01:10:58,000 --> 01:10:59,759 Speaker 2: I'm really happy that we were able. 1335 01:10:59,560 --> 01:11:03,160 Speaker 3: To do this well. I certainly appreciate it. And I 1336 01:11:03,200 --> 01:11:07,599 Speaker 3: hope that that anyone that chooses to listen. Uh, if 1337 01:11:07,640 --> 01:11:11,160 Speaker 3: you are a cross dresser, I hope that you realize 1338 01:11:11,160 --> 01:11:13,360 Speaker 3: that you're not on, You're not by yourself, especially for 1339 01:11:13,360 --> 01:11:15,879 Speaker 3: black when I hope you realize that you're not by yourself, 1340 01:11:16,439 --> 01:11:19,040 Speaker 3: that there is a lot of decency and in what 1341 01:11:19,080 --> 01:11:23,840 Speaker 3: we do, and then there's nothing bad. You're not less than, 1342 01:11:23,920 --> 01:11:28,000 Speaker 3: you're not demented, you're not sick. It's just being honest 1343 01:11:28,040 --> 01:11:29,800 Speaker 3: with yourself and saying, hey, so this is something that's 1344 01:11:29,800 --> 01:11:32,680 Speaker 3: the part of me. If you're not, if you're a 1345 01:11:32,760 --> 01:11:38,040 Speaker 3: young lady who is it's in a relationship with somebody 1346 01:11:38,120 --> 01:11:41,840 Speaker 3: you think might be or or could I guess, or 1347 01:11:41,880 --> 01:11:44,920 Speaker 3: anybody that could possibly be in a relationship and you 1348 01:11:45,200 --> 01:11:48,120 Speaker 3: ultimately find out that they are a cross dresser. I 1349 01:11:48,120 --> 01:11:50,600 Speaker 3: would just hope that you would have some compassion and 1350 01:11:50,720 --> 01:11:54,400 Speaker 3: realize that if you met a really great guy, if 1351 01:11:54,400 --> 01:11:57,559 Speaker 3: you met a really great guy and that guy stole 1352 01:11:57,600 --> 01:12:01,240 Speaker 3: your heart, and that guy was every thing that you 1353 01:12:01,400 --> 01:12:04,200 Speaker 3: ever thought that you would want a partner or a 1354 01:12:04,280 --> 01:12:08,560 Speaker 3: spouse and you and he hit you with this, my 1355 01:12:09,160 --> 01:12:14,479 Speaker 3: request is that you remember that guy, because that guy 1356 01:12:15,439 --> 01:12:20,000 Speaker 3: will be even better knowing that he can. And even 1357 01:12:20,000 --> 01:12:21,680 Speaker 3: if it's something you say, hey, I don't want to 1358 01:12:21,680 --> 01:12:23,559 Speaker 3: see it, but I accept this about you, but I 1359 01:12:23,560 --> 01:12:25,240 Speaker 3: just don't want to participate. I don't want to see it, 1360 01:12:26,400 --> 01:12:31,719 Speaker 3: that guy will literally feel like he owes you life 1361 01:12:32,760 --> 01:12:35,639 Speaker 3: because he knows what it's like to walk around and here, 1362 01:12:35,720 --> 01:12:39,280 Speaker 3: he knows what it's like to walk around interpretation and 1363 01:12:40,320 --> 01:12:43,200 Speaker 3: not be able to say, I can't be my whole self. 1364 01:12:43,560 --> 01:12:47,760 Speaker 3: So quite honestly, I think a woman that gets a 1365 01:12:47,760 --> 01:12:50,240 Speaker 3: cross dress a heteroscial cross stress. I want to play 1366 01:12:50,240 --> 01:12:52,519 Speaker 3: emphasis on that. Somebody says, hey, no, my my social 1367 01:12:52,520 --> 01:12:55,479 Speaker 3: preferences women, I have no desire to be with anybody 1368 01:12:55,520 --> 01:12:59,599 Speaker 3: else but you. Or but a woman gets a really 1369 01:12:59,640 --> 01:13:03,040 Speaker 3: great mate because suddenly you start to realize, wait a minute, 1370 01:13:03,120 --> 01:13:05,920 Speaker 3: we can talk about shootings, we can talk about dresses, 1371 01:13:06,200 --> 01:13:09,880 Speaker 3: we talk about perfume. Now the request becomes okay, now 1372 01:13:09,920 --> 01:13:11,479 Speaker 3: let it be full circle. So if I start talking 1373 01:13:11,479 --> 01:13:14,840 Speaker 3: about the basketball and football, don't trip right right it 1374 01:13:14,960 --> 01:13:17,080 Speaker 3: be open to it. So it's it's you know, it's 1375 01:13:17,320 --> 01:13:20,599 Speaker 3: it's give and take. And I think that women who 1376 01:13:20,760 --> 01:13:22,880 Speaker 3: have mates that are cross dresses, and you can look 1377 01:13:22,920 --> 01:13:24,840 Speaker 3: this up, this is, this is this has written in 1378 01:13:24,840 --> 01:13:27,280 Speaker 3: a lot of places. They say that they realize that 1379 01:13:27,320 --> 01:13:30,880 Speaker 3: they have they have great spouses because those men are 1380 01:13:30,960 --> 01:13:34,360 Speaker 3: sensitive to things that women experience, because they have a 1381 01:13:34,400 --> 01:13:37,320 Speaker 3: part of them that allows them to say, you know what, 1382 01:13:37,400 --> 01:13:41,200 Speaker 3: I get that. That makes sense to me. I understand 1383 01:13:41,360 --> 01:13:44,439 Speaker 3: that there's a running joke that some women say. They 1384 01:13:44,479 --> 01:13:46,639 Speaker 3: say that women will say that, hey, we run home 1385 01:13:46,680 --> 01:13:48,960 Speaker 3: to take off our braws and and shape where and 1386 01:13:49,000 --> 01:13:51,000 Speaker 3: yet my husband finds a relaxed the wrong and put 1387 01:13:51,040 --> 01:13:51,280 Speaker 3: his on. 1388 01:13:52,760 --> 01:13:53,639 Speaker 2: Right right right. 1389 01:13:54,200 --> 01:13:57,200 Speaker 3: So it's I think that that's one of the things 1390 01:13:57,240 --> 01:14:00,880 Speaker 3: that that if the women run into that you haven't 1391 01:14:01,439 --> 01:14:04,080 Speaker 3: you might say, hey, that wasn't ideal. I didn't expect this, Okay, 1392 01:14:04,120 --> 01:14:07,160 Speaker 3: I get that that's fair. Nobody says, oh, I'm looking 1393 01:14:07,160 --> 01:14:09,000 Speaker 3: for a guy who's this, this, this, this, this, and 1394 01:14:09,040 --> 01:14:11,720 Speaker 3: across theirs. That's probably not on a lot of women's list. 1395 01:14:11,960 --> 01:14:15,280 Speaker 3: But if you find out that that guy is my 1396 01:14:15,680 --> 01:14:19,360 Speaker 3: my hope is that a woman would say, Okay, talk 1397 01:14:19,400 --> 01:14:21,880 Speaker 3: to me about this and let me, let me get 1398 01:14:21,880 --> 01:14:25,920 Speaker 3: an opportunity to decide, uh, if this clicks, but not 1399 01:14:26,040 --> 01:14:29,320 Speaker 3: to forget. If this dude was amazing and he was like, 1400 01:14:29,400 --> 01:14:34,040 Speaker 3: oh your girlfriend's oh girl, he's this nicely and he's 1401 01:14:34,080 --> 01:14:38,240 Speaker 3: putting it down and opening doors and he's this and that. 1402 01:14:38,320 --> 01:14:40,280 Speaker 3: Oh I just never met a gentleman like this, and 1403 01:14:40,280 --> 01:14:43,599 Speaker 3: he's so caring and he's doing well, and you know 1404 01:14:43,640 --> 01:14:48,000 Speaker 3: he and take care of these kids, and he's just 1405 01:14:48,000 --> 01:14:50,640 Speaker 3: say he's really compassiony, he's great with kids, and he 1406 01:14:50,680 --> 01:14:53,599 Speaker 3: wants to have kids. And then you happen to find 1407 01:14:53,640 --> 01:14:57,040 Speaker 3: out that that that he has been across this. I hope, 1408 01:14:57,640 --> 01:15:00,400 Speaker 3: especially with the day, that with the way things are 1409 01:15:00,400 --> 01:15:02,160 Speaker 3: in this day and age, as hard as it is 1410 01:15:02,560 --> 01:15:05,960 Speaker 3: for women, are women to say, hey, we're meeting good mate. 1411 01:15:06,000 --> 01:15:07,600 Speaker 3: I hope that a woman will say, you know what, 1412 01:15:08,479 --> 01:15:12,280 Speaker 3: this does not cancel this deal. I just learned something 1413 01:15:12,320 --> 01:15:15,360 Speaker 3: that I need to be open to and it's okay, 1414 01:15:15,479 --> 01:15:19,080 Speaker 3: it's cool, and and protect this privacy. That's what I 1415 01:15:19,080 --> 01:15:19,519 Speaker 3: would saying. 1416 01:15:19,800 --> 01:15:20,120 Speaker 1: Yes. 1417 01:15:20,640 --> 01:15:22,519 Speaker 2: Well, like I said, thank you so much, I really 1418 01:15:22,520 --> 01:15:26,360 Speaker 2: appreciate this conversation. And I know I always tell my 1419 01:15:26,439 --> 01:15:29,880 Speaker 2: listeners that make sure you share your storyline because you 1420 01:15:29,920 --> 01:15:32,080 Speaker 2: never know how it can be someone else's lifeline. So 1421 01:15:32,120 --> 01:15:35,559 Speaker 2: I really do appreciate you trusting me, yeah, trusting me 1422 01:15:36,120 --> 01:15:37,960 Speaker 2: and allowing me to be a part of your journey 1423 01:15:37,960 --> 01:15:40,120 Speaker 2: because I know this will resonate with a lot of 1424 01:15:40,160 --> 01:15:41,120 Speaker 2: our listeners. 1425 01:15:41,800 --> 01:15:45,400 Speaker 3: Thank you so much. I appreciate you again and your 1426 01:15:45,439 --> 01:15:49,920 Speaker 3: team and being able to get a message out about 1427 01:15:49,920 --> 01:15:52,480 Speaker 3: a number of topics that will really resonate. 1428 01:15:52,120 --> 01:15:54,080 Speaker 2: With people, yes and to the listeners. If you have 1429 01:15:54,080 --> 01:15:56,759 Speaker 2: any questions, comments or concerns, please make sure to email 1430 01:15:56,760 --> 01:16:00,400 Speaker 2: me a hello at the psgpodcast dot com. And until 1431 01:16:00,479 --> 01:16:05,920 Speaker 2: next time, everyone, Later you're gonna say. 1432 01:16:05,760 --> 01:16:08,920 Speaker 3: Bye, oh bye. Everybody. Take care. 1433 01:16:18,160 --> 01:16:21,240 Speaker 2: The Professional Homegirl Podcast is a production of the Black 1434 01:16:21,280 --> 01:16:25,280 Speaker 2: Effect Podcast Network. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the 1435 01:16:25,320 --> 01:16:28,360 Speaker 2: iHeartRadio app, app a podcasts, or wherever you listen to 1436 01:16:28,360 --> 01:16:31,599 Speaker 2: your favorite shows. Don't forget to subscribe and rate the show, 1437 01:16:31,880 --> 01:16:34,320 Speaker 2: and you can connect with me on social media at 1438 01:16:34,360 --> 01:16:35,640 Speaker 2: the PHG podcast