1 00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:04,280 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vanderkam. I'm a mother of four, 2 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:08,479 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger. 3 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:11,799 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, practicing physician and blogger. On 4 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:14,640 Speaker 1: the side, we are two working parents who love our 5 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:17,880 Speaker 1: careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds. 6 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:21,560 Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:32,920 Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. 10 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:36,519 Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode one thirteen. Today we're 11 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:40,159 Speaker 1: going to be talking about babies. So those of you 12 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:43,160 Speaker 1: who listened to last week's episode or have been reading 13 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:47,760 Speaker 1: my blog know about our exciting news. So yeah, we'll 14 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:50,680 Speaker 1: be talking about that and how things have changed over 15 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:54,240 Speaker 1: the past five years, over the past thirteen years in 16 00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:58,560 Speaker 1: the case since my oldest was born, and different gear 17 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:02,319 Speaker 1: recommendations that people have sent in, so thank you all 18 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:05,640 Speaker 1: for doing those. We're gonna be doing more episodes about 19 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:09,440 Speaker 1: advice various people have for the baby stages and such. 20 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:13,679 Speaker 1: I just can't believe there's a thirteen year age spread. 21 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:16,679 Speaker 1: That is amazing that is gonna be. You're gonna have 22 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:21,520 Speaker 1: a built in babysitter, right, and maybe maybe at least 23 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:24,000 Speaker 1: for I mean the older kids. I'm definitely comfortable with 24 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:27,720 Speaker 1: leaving Josper with the older children home, but you know, 25 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:31,440 Speaker 1: newborns are complicated, but we'll see how that all works out. 26 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:33,919 Speaker 1: I'm just so excited for you, I mean you guys. 27 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,000 Speaker 1: I sort of had this like inkling and I can't 28 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:40,120 Speaker 1: even remember why anymore, and then when she told me, 29 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:44,280 Speaker 1: it was like, ah, so I just I just I'm 30 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:47,400 Speaker 1: so excited for this. And oddly enough, some of not 31 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:49,480 Speaker 1: just Laura, but like I feel like a lot of 32 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:52,600 Speaker 1: my very close relatives and acquaintances are all having babies 33 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:55,840 Speaker 1: at the same time. So we are very excited to 34 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:59,200 Speaker 1: do this episode and talk to Laura more about everything 35 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:02,560 Speaker 1: that she's expected, although she of all the people I 36 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,680 Speaker 1: know having babies, they're all having their first and you're 37 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:07,200 Speaker 1: having number five. Yeah. First of all, my first question 38 00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:08,960 Speaker 1: for you is do you feel like you're inducted into 39 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:12,799 Speaker 1: some kind of like special five club, because I do 40 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:16,680 Speaker 1: feel like, you know, two to three, three or four, okay, 41 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:20,120 Speaker 1: four to five to me, that's like that's like the line. Yeah, 42 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:22,440 Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean I always joke that zero 43 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:25,400 Speaker 1: to one is the big change everything else. Oh, I 44 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:28,320 Speaker 1: totally agree. Goes more from the outside of how people 45 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:31,519 Speaker 1: get as like whether you have a truly big family. Yeah, 46 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:34,880 Speaker 1: I don't know big families are. I kind of in 47 00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:39,359 Speaker 1: my mind put four to five as like the same bucket, 48 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:42,920 Speaker 1: and so then the six plus is where it starts 49 00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:48,160 Speaker 1: getting interesting, interesting stuff. I don't know, this is inevitable. 50 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:51,160 Speaker 1: One more than you have always seems big and always 51 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:53,840 Speaker 1: seems less, like, wow, five is a big deal, but 52 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:59,520 Speaker 1: six is a six that's crazy. Only crazy people do that. Yeah, 53 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:05,520 Speaker 1: we did the reveal for the kids. About the reveal, Yeah, 54 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:10,000 Speaker 1: so I had bought shirts for all the kids that 55 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:13,480 Speaker 1: the older two boys had ones that said big brother again, 56 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:17,840 Speaker 1: Alex got one that said newest Big Bro, and Ruth 57 00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:20,040 Speaker 1: got a big sister shirt. And then I had a 58 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:24,119 Speaker 1: little onesie that said little brother. And we all sat down. 59 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:28,120 Speaker 1: We'd gotten back from our California vacation and we were 60 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:30,720 Speaker 1: sitting around the table I called a family meeting, had 61 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:36,080 Speaker 1: everyone unwrap the shirts, and Jasper like looked at it 62 00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:40,840 Speaker 1: two seconds He's like, you're having another baby, Like yeah, 63 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,680 Speaker 1: because do you feel like he put the pieces together, 64 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,080 Speaker 1: like I think he had already put the pieces together. 65 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:49,240 Speaker 1: I think he mentioned that he had talked with it 66 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:52,480 Speaker 1: about with Sam at some point, that they were speculating 67 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:56,000 Speaker 1: about it, because I mean, he's not an idiot. I 68 00:03:56,000 --> 00:04:02,280 Speaker 1: mean he's twelve, he's you know, I am not flat tummied, right, 69 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:07,560 Speaker 1: you were twenty weeks when we told them, Yeah, so subtle. 70 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,120 Speaker 1: It's you know, you're twenty weeks pregnant with your fifth kid. 71 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:12,840 Speaker 1: It's it's not entirely I mean, I would say it 72 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,640 Speaker 1: wasn't totally out there. I don't think a lot of 73 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:20,039 Speaker 1: people were guessing that it was. Was the case, probably 74 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:24,400 Speaker 1: what you choose to wear. If you're wearing floating garbs, 75 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,560 Speaker 1: you could hide it, but if you were wearing a 76 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:29,760 Speaker 1: form fitting tank top, it was probably yeah, evident. So 77 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:32,159 Speaker 1: they were very excited. I mean the big kids were 78 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:35,200 Speaker 1: just like jumping up and down, like, oh my goodness, 79 00:04:35,279 --> 00:04:39,240 Speaker 1: this is so excited. Alex was a little bit more weary. 80 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:41,480 Speaker 1: But I think it's more that it was just overwhelmingly 81 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:45,480 Speaker 1: in no context for what this even means. Right, But 82 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:47,560 Speaker 1: he rest of them, this isn't their first rodeo. No, 83 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:50,159 Speaker 1: this isn't their first radio but over the next day 84 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:53,560 Speaker 1: or two, Alex definitely was getting into the idea and 85 00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:55,520 Speaker 1: the funny thing. I mean, they're all coming up to 86 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:58,400 Speaker 1: me and wanting to let, you know, feel the belly, 87 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:01,080 Speaker 1: feel the baby kick, like they're talking to the baby, 88 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:04,839 Speaker 1: because I mean, this is the thing I've been so 89 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:08,800 Speaker 1: aware of with four other children, is I mean, he's 90 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:13,840 Speaker 1: my baby, but he's their sibling and there's more of them, 91 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:18,560 Speaker 1: and they're welcoming him into this tribe of theirs, which 92 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:20,360 Speaker 1: by the way, I'm not a member of that tribe. 93 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,840 Speaker 1: That tribe is their thing, and so they have their 94 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:27,080 Speaker 1: own interactions and it's you know, it just really a 95 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:30,560 Speaker 1: reminder that, you know, a fifth baby comes into a 96 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:33,919 Speaker 1: whole community that is already there, and that's kind of 97 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:37,560 Speaker 1: fun to welcome. Josh use the phrase. We were thinking 98 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:40,880 Speaker 1: about number three, and we were thinking about the significance 99 00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:43,279 Speaker 1: spacing between two and three, which is nothing like five. 100 00:05:43,279 --> 00:05:44,600 Speaker 1: But still he said, Oh, this is going to be 101 00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 1: a family baby, and I like that idea, like and 102 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:50,360 Speaker 1: you're totally having a family baby. Like family baby. I mean, 103 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:54,240 Speaker 1: everyone has for everyone. And so the kids talk to him, 104 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:57,760 Speaker 1: they've been calling him a name which I don't know 105 00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,600 Speaker 1: if that will be his name, but it's going to 106 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:01,520 Speaker 1: be hard to not name him that if they keep 107 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:06,560 Speaker 1: calling him that recently. Not some of the names Alex suggested. 108 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:09,960 Speaker 1: Alex suggested Kylo Wren for instance. The baby will not 109 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:13,440 Speaker 1: be Kylo Wren. I remember that one of my good 110 00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:17,200 Speaker 1: friends in high school. They were a family of six, 111 00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:19,040 Speaker 1: I think, and then they were having a baby girl 112 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:21,840 Speaker 1: and he was he named his baby sister. They picked 113 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:26,760 Speaker 1: a rather unusual name. Her name is Roxanne. I hope 114 00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:29,560 Speaker 1: she's grow up. I think we were maybe reading some 115 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:33,800 Speaker 1: Syrho di bergerac at the time, so it was academically inspired, 116 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:36,479 Speaker 1: but it was pizza or so. We thought it was 117 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,080 Speaker 1: so cool that like he got to pick the name. 118 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:43,040 Speaker 1: And yeah, so maybe maybe that will happen in your family. Yeah. No, 119 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:47,560 Speaker 1: they're all into it, so very very fun. That is 120 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:51,280 Speaker 1: so so it's hard for kids to wait another four months, 121 00:06:51,279 --> 00:06:56,040 Speaker 1: but they will have to do so well. Before we 122 00:06:56,279 --> 00:06:58,719 Speaker 1: talk about baby, let's step back and talk a little 123 00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:03,840 Speaker 1: more about pregnancy. So how is it going. I mean, 124 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:07,200 Speaker 1: this is your fifth time, you're doing it thirteen years 125 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:09,520 Speaker 1: after you did the first time, so it's kind of 126 00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:12,080 Speaker 1: like You're a little bit in a different body to 127 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:15,840 Speaker 1: some extent, So does it feel different, feel pretty much 128 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:20,120 Speaker 1: the same, harder, easier? Are you less impatient more impatient? Well, 129 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:23,000 Speaker 1: it's hard to know because I mean, yes, I'm older. 130 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:27,240 Speaker 1: I am officially of advanced maternal age, whatever the post 131 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:30,960 Speaker 1: forty term for that is. There's something that's actually post 132 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:35,200 Speaker 1: thirty five. Yeah, maybe the special forty oh really like 133 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:37,560 Speaker 1: super advanced, super advance. I think there may be even 134 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:41,800 Speaker 1: a word like geriatric involved. But I mean it's uh, 135 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:47,880 Speaker 1: it's it's bad. But now I feel like I know 136 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:53,600 Speaker 1: what to expect, so none of this is particularly surprising 137 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:57,440 Speaker 1: or worrying or in any way. You're used to all 138 00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:59,920 Speaker 1: of the symptoms. I know exactly how my body will 139 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:05,160 Speaker 1: react to it. So you know, I'm a little bit tired, probably, 140 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:09,520 Speaker 1: but it's hard to know if that's because I'm forty 141 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,760 Speaker 1: versus twenty seven, or if that's because I have four 142 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:17,080 Speaker 1: other children that are also making me tired, so you know, 143 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,440 Speaker 1: whereas with the first one, I didn't have to deal 144 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:24,440 Speaker 1: with any of that. So you know, it probably is 145 00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:31,200 Speaker 1: easier when you're younger, but it is certainly doable. And 146 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:34,000 Speaker 1: do you feel like your symptoms were comparable. Now, I 147 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:35,920 Speaker 1: know there's a lot of myths about oh, when you 148 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:38,080 Speaker 1: have a girl, like things are different and you have 149 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:42,000 Speaker 1: had both. In my end of three experience, they were 150 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,199 Speaker 1: all pretty much the same, except I felt like I 151 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:46,400 Speaker 1: was actually less patient with it each time because I 152 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:48,680 Speaker 1: was sort of like, oh, I'm sick again, like I 153 00:08:48,679 --> 00:08:50,360 Speaker 1: already did this. Like the first time, I was kind 154 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:52,120 Speaker 1: of like, oh, Okay, this is so exciting that I 155 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:54,320 Speaker 1: can overlook how bad I feel. And by the third time, 156 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:57,680 Speaker 1: I was less into it. So do you feel like 157 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:01,480 Speaker 1: all five have, like, symptom wise, been reasonably similar. It's 158 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:04,520 Speaker 1: hard to say. I mean, I was definitely quite sick 159 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:08,480 Speaker 1: at the beginning, and that was hard to continue to 160 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:12,680 Speaker 1: do everything. I mean I gave I like six speeches 161 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:15,760 Speaker 1: requiring travel in June, and I was pretty sick for 162 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:18,320 Speaker 1: all of them. I mean, late May, I gave a 163 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:19,800 Speaker 1: speech in New York. I thought it was going to 164 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:22,240 Speaker 1: faint fall off the stage because I just felt so 165 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:26,000 Speaker 1: woozy up there. You are so much tougher than me. 166 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:29,840 Speaker 1: I canceled like everything my first trimester, which I was 167 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:31,520 Speaker 1: just like, Nope, not going to that, not going to that, 168 00:09:31,679 --> 00:09:33,800 Speaker 1: not doing that. And third try I was fine, but 169 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:36,080 Speaker 1: first try, I mean, you're amazing. I can't believe you 170 00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:38,440 Speaker 1: were able to do all that well. I don't know. 171 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:41,560 Speaker 1: I guess well. Serena Williams were on the Australian Open 172 00:09:41,559 --> 00:09:43,319 Speaker 1: when she was pregnant, so I feel like I could 173 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:46,600 Speaker 1: probably give a speech. And you ran the Castaway five 174 00:09:46,679 --> 00:09:51,200 Speaker 1: I ran the Castaway K five K and you won. No, 175 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:54,000 Speaker 1: I did not win, but I did finish before it 176 00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:57,200 Speaker 1: started pouring rain. So there you go. That's your own wind. 177 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:01,040 Speaker 1: I'm still in my running street. I've managed to keep 178 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:04,960 Speaker 1: that up through everything, you know, and get a free 179 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,880 Speaker 1: pass on the day of birth. I'm going to like 180 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,600 Speaker 1: stim one day and then say my continue my streak 181 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:11,160 Speaker 1: still counts. I don't know that I'm going to want 182 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:13,440 Speaker 1: to run the day after either. I think you should, 183 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:16,760 Speaker 1: but you know there's probably people who do. I mean, 184 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:19,120 Speaker 1: you know, the people who are having their like tenth 185 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,320 Speaker 1: child and went back out to milk the cows and 186 00:10:21,679 --> 00:10:25,840 Speaker 1: eighteen hundred or something like that. Yeah. No, it's pregnancy 187 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:28,640 Speaker 1: is never easy and it's never pleasant. I don't particularly 188 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,079 Speaker 1: like being pregnant. I know there are some people who do. 189 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:34,600 Speaker 1: In my case, I view it as part of having 190 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:37,439 Speaker 1: a baby, and I love babies, and so it's exciting. 191 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:40,920 Speaker 1: I'm trying to enjoy it. I probably prefer to just 192 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:44,400 Speaker 1: be through it. But I write about time and think 193 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,960 Speaker 1: about time enough to know that I don't really want 194 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:50,559 Speaker 1: to wish the next get you months away. So I 195 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,920 Speaker 1: don't want to go into a medically induced coma. No, 196 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,000 Speaker 1: I don't, because the next four months are gonna be awesome. 197 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:57,040 Speaker 1: And the last four months have been awesome. I mean 198 00:10:57,040 --> 00:11:02,360 Speaker 1: that's the thing. Even with the nausea, even with the fatigue, 199 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:05,040 Speaker 1: even with some other complications that we don't need to 200 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:08,719 Speaker 1: go into on this podcast, but that have have required 201 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:14,440 Speaker 1: some stuff, It's been doable. And I'm really proud in 202 00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:16,520 Speaker 1: fact of like the summer I've managed to have with 203 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:19,720 Speaker 1: my kids, and you know what my my body has 204 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:23,640 Speaker 1: been able to do. And you know, seriously hiking running. 205 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:26,360 Speaker 1: You just got back from, like, you know, doing a 206 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:29,720 Speaker 1: hike on the side of a cliff basically in California, 207 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:32,360 Speaker 1: and were you did you? Did you drink a little 208 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:37,160 Speaker 1: wine at French flun I I will admit to that. Well, 209 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:40,240 Speaker 1: And our guest Emily Oster has has data to prove 210 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:43,680 Speaker 1: that that's Okay, yeah, it's it's fine. The occasional glass 211 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:48,319 Speaker 1: of wine is fine, regular coffee is fine. You know, 212 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,720 Speaker 1: just all this stuff. And that's the good thing about 213 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:54,040 Speaker 1: this being my fifth pregnancy too, is I also know 214 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:58,800 Speaker 1: that and know that much of this stuff that gets 215 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,679 Speaker 1: worried about is of no consequence whatsoever. And most of 216 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:04,480 Speaker 1: the advice that's given to pregnant women is also just 217 00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:07,360 Speaker 1: not based on anything whatsoever. So you kind of live 218 00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:09,720 Speaker 1: your life and your body does what it's supposed to do, 219 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:13,520 Speaker 1: and for most people that works out fine. Yay, Well 220 00:12:13,559 --> 00:12:17,240 Speaker 1: we're so excited. Okay, so that's pregnancy. And we do 221 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,400 Speaker 1: have some reader tips a little bit on pregnancy, but 222 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:22,480 Speaker 1: we'll save that for the later segment of this episode. 223 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:28,840 Speaker 1: So post baby plans, what are you thinking and have 224 00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:31,319 Speaker 1: you identified any And I agree about the product thing, 225 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:33,320 Speaker 1: by the way, I mean, I had Genevieve in December 226 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:36,640 Speaker 1: of twenty seventeen, and there are already like all these 227 00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:40,319 Speaker 1: things that weren't things two years ago. So it's amazing. 228 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:43,760 Speaker 1: I feel like the pace has increased and technology has 229 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:47,199 Speaker 1: certainly played a major role, and I'm sort of jealous. 230 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:51,360 Speaker 1: I feel you could have another one. Sarah True if 231 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,560 Speaker 1: you're really that excited about the baby gear, it would 232 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:56,320 Speaker 1: be an interesting reason. No, I'm going to be chance, 233 00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:58,360 Speaker 1: I'm going to be I'll be able to project it's true. 234 00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:00,200 Speaker 1: And so you can just buy all this stuff and 235 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:02,880 Speaker 1: send it to your sister and so it's all kind sadly. Yeah, no, 236 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:06,720 Speaker 1: that's that's totally changing. And here here's something that's funny. 237 00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:11,520 Speaker 1: So my last baby, Alex, was born in twenty fifteen, 238 00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:14,000 Speaker 1: and obviously Instagram was around them, but I wasn't on it, 239 00:13:14,559 --> 00:13:18,080 Speaker 1: and so then for this one I am. And I 240 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:21,959 Speaker 1: have to say Instagram has known I was pregnant since 241 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:26,719 Speaker 1: before my husband knew I was pregnant, and that it's 242 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:31,760 Speaker 1: one of those humorous, possibly scary things about modern privacy 243 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:35,440 Speaker 1: and tracking and cookies and the Because you know, I'm 244 00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:40,480 Speaker 1: feeling nauseous whatever, I'm looking up the symptoms to remind myself, 245 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:44,160 Speaker 1: like what you know happens? And if I am pregnant, 246 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,280 Speaker 1: like what does a five week fetus look like? Right? 247 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:52,240 Speaker 1: But if you search on five weeks pregnant, you will 248 00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:59,080 Speaker 1: get baby ads on Instagram forever. You know, it's probably 249 00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:02,400 Speaker 1: very tragic of people then, you know, lose the pregnancy. 250 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:05,840 Speaker 1: I hope the ads disappear in some way, but no, 251 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:08,079 Speaker 1: it was I was getting the stuff. I mean. The 252 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:11,160 Speaker 1: upside is that I saw all sorts of things that 253 00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:14,360 Speaker 1: I wouldn't have been introduced to otherwise, So I, you know, 254 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:17,160 Speaker 1: get the maternity clothes ads. I didn't know about Seraphine, 255 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,600 Speaker 1: which is a great brand that I've now bought. Ooh, 256 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:22,440 Speaker 1: I did know about. I had a bunch of Seraphine stuff, 257 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:25,080 Speaker 1: yes for Genevieve, not for the older ones. Yes, So 258 00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:28,280 Speaker 1: I bought a nice like the Stress, Yes, so I 259 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:33,080 Speaker 1: can wear that. Speaking, I found Jojo Maman Baby, which 260 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:38,640 Speaker 1: has jeans and shirts that are pretty affordably priced, I mean, 261 00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:41,920 Speaker 1: comparable to sort of old Navy but look nicer. And 262 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:45,840 Speaker 1: so I've been ordering several of those. So you know, 263 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:50,080 Speaker 1: I'm intrigued by the new generation breast pumps. I am 264 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:53,400 Speaker 1: definitely going to purchase one of those. Yes, And that's 265 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:56,240 Speaker 1: a reader tip. I am so introg I still look 266 00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:58,000 Speaker 1: like I look back and I'm like, would those have 267 00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:00,360 Speaker 1: worked for me? And I'll never know? But well, or 268 00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:03,640 Speaker 1: are you fascinated by the continent stop it? I'm fascinated 269 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:07,120 Speaker 1: by Sarah. I know, I know, you know, like there 270 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:08,880 Speaker 1: of course, there's a tiny part of you that it's 271 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:12,480 Speaker 1: always like WHOA she could do, but that it's like, no, 272 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:17,760 Speaker 1: we're really quite settled. Yeah, yeah, that's that's totally cool. 273 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:19,800 Speaker 1: But that's so so do you think you're gonna do? 274 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,440 Speaker 1: The two big pumps I will mention by name because 275 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:25,360 Speaker 1: why not, are the Willow and the Lvy, And it 276 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:28,120 Speaker 1: seems like they're like the big competitors. They both go 277 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:31,880 Speaker 1: into your bra and I don't know if one has 278 00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:35,080 Speaker 1: more of a reputation than the other, but they're both 279 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:37,840 Speaker 1: supposed to be quiet and allow you to just kind 280 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:40,520 Speaker 1: of like stick that thing and do your thing. And 281 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:42,600 Speaker 1: they have apps where on your phone it will tell 282 00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:45,200 Speaker 1: you like you've made thirty mls or however many, and 283 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,960 Speaker 1: you kind of know when to take it out and stop. Yeah, 284 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,800 Speaker 1: I'm intrigued. I mean I know that. I mean just 285 00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:53,240 Speaker 1: from from past experience, I know that you get sort 286 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:56,280 Speaker 1: of more milk if there's more pressure on it. So 287 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:59,720 Speaker 1: sometimes I would like hold the pumps for instance, which 288 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,800 Speaker 1: I know some people were able to just let the 289 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:05,400 Speaker 1: pump go and wear one of those pumping bras and 290 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:08,400 Speaker 1: I don't know, go about their merry world. The in 291 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:12,760 Speaker 1: bra pumps the ideas you could even just really be 292 00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:15,720 Speaker 1: out in the world, like there's no apparatus, so it's 293 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:18,400 Speaker 1: collecting the milk in the bottom of it. You just 294 00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:22,200 Speaker 1: get it out later. They're not making noise. The hilarious 295 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:24,720 Speaker 1: ad I keep getting played on Instagram, which I think 296 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:27,200 Speaker 1: is from Willow. Possibly it is from lv I Forget, 297 00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:31,120 Speaker 1: which they'd probably prefer. I remember which brand it is. 298 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:35,400 Speaker 1: But they have the ballerina dancing her routine, so she 299 00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:42,040 Speaker 1: puts it in on under her leotard and she's like 300 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:46,920 Speaker 1: pirouetting around the stage while she is express real I 301 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:49,080 Speaker 1: hope she's actually making milk. I think this is actually 302 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:52,440 Speaker 1: a lactatum ballerina. I don't know, maybe it is. Maybe 303 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,920 Speaker 1: sounds absolutely which I am not gonna be doing piroetes like, 304 00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:59,400 Speaker 1: I don't care about that part. What I want is 305 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:02,280 Speaker 1: it would be awesome to be in a plane seat 306 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:06,800 Speaker 1: for podcasting, well push or podcasting. But that's not a 307 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:09,360 Speaker 1: problem because then i'm your phones are pretty sensitive. Well, 308 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:11,639 Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't is it really that we're 309 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:13,040 Speaker 1: gonna have to test a day? I wouldn't have to 310 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,040 Speaker 1: pump well, I'm podcasting, because that means I'm home right 311 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:17,240 Speaker 1: then the baby can come see me every three hours. 312 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:21,000 Speaker 1: But the point is, if I'm on a plane to California, 313 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:26,240 Speaker 1: I don't have to go occupy the bathroom in the 314 00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:29,600 Speaker 1: airplane for twenty minutes while everyone else wants to use 315 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,800 Speaker 1: it while I'm pumping in the middle of the flight, 316 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:33,920 Speaker 1: right that if I could just sit in my seat 317 00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,600 Speaker 1: and do it, or sit in an Amtrak train car 318 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:39,640 Speaker 1: and do it as opposed to occupying the bathroom there 319 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:42,080 Speaker 1: where everyone wants to use it for fifteen minutes. No, 320 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:44,959 Speaker 1: that's true. It would be amazing. That would be totally amazing. 321 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:48,800 Speaker 1: So listeners, if you have recently had a baby and 322 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:52,439 Speaker 1: are embarking on the world of pumping and you have 323 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:54,879 Speaker 1: used one of the next generation problems, we'd love to 324 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:57,480 Speaker 1: hear from you for how that works. And if someone's 325 00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:00,840 Speaker 1: tried both, we're especially curious, especially as a winner that's 326 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:04,920 Speaker 1: been identified. So and you you like, barely have gained 327 00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:07,640 Speaker 1: any pregnancy weight, which is like crazy, Well, I mean, 328 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:11,240 Speaker 1: the weird part of that, the timing wise, is that 329 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:15,400 Speaker 1: I had lost a significant amount of weight right at 330 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:19,119 Speaker 1: the start of the pregnancy, so and on purpose timing 331 00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:21,840 Speaker 1: with the pregnancy, you know you were ready. You were 332 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:23,840 Speaker 1: just trying to get fit, trying to round the same time. 333 00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:28,200 Speaker 1: It then happened at the same time. Fortuitously. She's always 334 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,280 Speaker 1: good because you have a very healthy pregnancy. Yeah no, 335 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:32,359 Speaker 1: And so that was great that that weight was off 336 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:36,400 Speaker 1: before or around the same time that I conceived, And 337 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:39,320 Speaker 1: so I am not back up to the weight that 338 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:43,719 Speaker 1: I was when you start counting the pregnancy from got it. 339 00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:46,399 Speaker 1: That's amazing. Yeah, But I mean that's because I lost 340 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,480 Speaker 1: like ten pounds, So I mean that's I will pass. 341 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:51,119 Speaker 1: And if you're more like me and you tend to 342 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,960 Speaker 1: gain like ten pounds in the first trimester, that's okay too. 343 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,000 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, oh yeah, you know, gain weight whenever you 344 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:57,760 Speaker 1: because I used always hear stories of people who like 345 00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,760 Speaker 1: didn't and then I'm like, what's wrong with me? Why 346 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:01,639 Speaker 1: do I always gained so much in the beginning, and 347 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,200 Speaker 1: then I would never gain a lot at the end. 348 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:06,320 Speaker 1: So the total was always like under the twenty five pounds, 349 00:19:06,359 --> 00:19:08,040 Speaker 1: but I was always like twenty weeks and it already 350 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:10,480 Speaker 1: gained like fifteen. It was like, what's going on? Well again, 351 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:13,199 Speaker 1: the good thing of it being your body repeating this 352 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,160 Speaker 1: is that your body is going to react the same way. 353 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:19,080 Speaker 1: I certainly first time, and you're talking about the time 354 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,840 Speaker 1: putting on a hundred pounds. It's just that I'm going 355 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:26,280 Speaker 1: to this is the way I gain it, and that's 356 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:29,320 Speaker 1: not the way I gain it. I tend to put 357 00:19:29,359 --> 00:19:32,800 Speaker 1: it on very very slowly. I feel like that's more normal, 358 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,200 Speaker 1: that's like more typical. Yeah, I don't know. I mean 359 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:38,800 Speaker 1: I think it depends, and you know, everyone is different. 360 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:40,800 Speaker 1: And then I put on more as it as it 361 00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:43,680 Speaker 1: goes on, and certainly be more obvious at the end. 362 00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:45,879 Speaker 1: I mean, the way I carry my babies, it's more back, 363 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:48,879 Speaker 1: so I don't show as much at the beginning, but 364 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:52,879 Speaker 1: then obviously will towards the end. Yeah. So I had 365 00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:55,600 Speaker 1: lost lost that weight and have been then gaining it 366 00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:59,840 Speaker 1: back as I get bigger. But that was good timing. Okay, 367 00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:03,159 Speaker 1: So I know you've made a big decision already about 368 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:07,200 Speaker 1: hiring a Yes, well, this is what I had done 369 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:11,120 Speaker 1: for Alex as well. So we have a full time 370 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,560 Speaker 1: nanny who we love and who's so excited about taking 371 00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:17,520 Speaker 1: care of the babies. That's great that she certainly has 372 00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:19,840 Speaker 1: expressed interest in staying with us for quite a while, 373 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:22,439 Speaker 1: and that's awesome, and we were about to have everyone 374 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:25,680 Speaker 1: in kindergarten growing to school and some of them. Now 375 00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:29,160 Speaker 1: this is going to occupy your time. But we've also 376 00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:33,600 Speaker 1: hired a night nurse service for They put it down 377 00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,240 Speaker 1: as like three to five nights a week for a 378 00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:39,040 Speaker 1: couple of months. And the way this works for anyone 379 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:42,359 Speaker 1: who's considering this is somebody comes to your house around 380 00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:47,320 Speaker 1: nine pm and stays till six pm, maybe six am, 381 00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:50,919 Speaker 1: and we'll do anything for the baby that is not 382 00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:54,720 Speaker 1: breastfeeding the baby. Obviously, if you don't want to breastfeed 383 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,560 Speaker 1: the baby, if you're formula feeding the baby, then they'll 384 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:58,920 Speaker 1: take care of everything, and that's awesome too. But if 385 00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:01,320 Speaker 1: you are nursing, then they will bring the baby to 386 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:04,359 Speaker 1: you at one am and four am and you feed 387 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:07,439 Speaker 1: then and or you know, after a couple weeks of this. 388 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,959 Speaker 1: The last time around, I pumped a bottle in the 389 00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:12,200 Speaker 1: morning that was then given to the baby at one AM, 390 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:15,600 Speaker 1: so I could sleep from nine to four, which was amazing. 391 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:18,159 Speaker 1: After you have a baby is like the ultimate luxury. 392 00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:20,600 Speaker 1: Yeah that sounds and again not in the first few weeks, 393 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:22,680 Speaker 1: so it was still nursing around the clock. The first 394 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,520 Speaker 1: few weeks. But then because you got to build that, 395 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:27,399 Speaker 1: you build that out. But like a month in that 396 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:30,840 Speaker 1: gets a little old. So you're like, if I can 397 00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:33,880 Speaker 1: sleep from nine to nine thirty to four am, this 398 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:37,760 Speaker 1: is awesome. Then catch up another hour or so afterwards, 399 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:41,399 Speaker 1: and that makes you feel very human and you can 400 00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:45,200 Speaker 1: certainly trade off with your partner to do something like this. 401 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:48,080 Speaker 1: This is a great idea if you have a partner 402 00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:51,919 Speaker 1: with you that could do the pumped bottle at one am. 403 00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:54,399 Speaker 1: There are some people who believe that the milk you 404 00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:56,480 Speaker 1: pump at six am should never be given to a 405 00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:58,879 Speaker 1: baby at one am. I am not one of those people. 406 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:02,760 Speaker 1: I am not one of those people, but you know, 407 00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:05,000 Speaker 1: I like, I never did this in part because I 408 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,440 Speaker 1: always had that paranoia that if I wasn't stimulating it 409 00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:10,199 Speaker 1: every single time the baby wanted to eat, then all 410 00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:12,240 Speaker 1: of a sudden it was going to ruin that natural 411 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:15,199 Speaker 1: cycle and blah blah blah. But we all know I 412 00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:17,639 Speaker 1: had a lot of paranoia. Yeah, No, I mean I 413 00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:19,840 Speaker 1: was lucky to have babies who would like pass out 414 00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:22,280 Speaker 1: when I put them down, so you were doing really 415 00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:24,480 Speaker 1: anything other than like feeding them, and I would have 416 00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:27,320 Speaker 1: been like annoyed to pay someone to literally like sit 417 00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:30,000 Speaker 1: there and do nothing. Yeah, so mine are not necessarily 418 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:31,560 Speaker 1: like that. They'll want to get up and do something 419 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:33,440 Speaker 1: or like talk to you, or they could go half 420 00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:36,560 Speaker 1: an hour longer without eating, and if somebody was playing 421 00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:37,720 Speaker 1: with them. But of course I don't want to do 422 00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:40,760 Speaker 1: that at one am, so no one does. No one does. 423 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:44,800 Speaker 1: And also with Michael traveling, I mean he often talks 424 00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:47,080 Speaker 1: a good game about how he won't, but then it'll be, 425 00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:51,920 Speaker 1: you know, the world's most important project ever and five 426 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:56,280 Speaker 1: times around. I am not going to get screwed over 427 00:22:56,440 --> 00:23:01,439 Speaker 1: by that, so understandable. I'd rad awesome. Did you do 428 00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:03,080 Speaker 1: this with your last one too? So I did this 429 00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:06,480 Speaker 1: with Alex. I also, yes, had somebody for Ruth, although 430 00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:09,760 Speaker 1: it was a slightly different arrangement. You know, I don't 431 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:11,920 Speaker 1: think we're you would ask. One of these questions is 432 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:18,320 Speaker 1: about childcare. We probably don't need somebody else during the 433 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:23,560 Speaker 1: work week, just because my older children are so independent 434 00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:25,600 Speaker 1: at this point. In fact, Jasper and Sam can be 435 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:28,919 Speaker 1: home by themselves. I mean, this is not they're not 436 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:32,520 Speaker 1: really needing a babysitter anyway, So it's fewer children who 437 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:37,639 Speaker 1: are responsible. We've we've thought about if driving becomes an issue, 438 00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:41,240 Speaker 1: we may need to hire someone extra for driving occasionally, 439 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:45,600 Speaker 1: but for three years, for a couple of years. The 440 00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:49,000 Speaker 1: key thing is the weekends. And Michael and I just 441 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,440 Speaker 1: had a discussion about this, and we are going to 442 00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:54,480 Speaker 1: get a little bit of extra help on the weekends 443 00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:59,800 Speaker 1: because I mean, partly, we have this nice life with 444 00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:05,240 Speaker 1: our big kids now where you're not having to watch 445 00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:08,080 Speaker 1: them every second, which is nice to get at least 446 00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:10,040 Speaker 1: a few hours of that on the weekend, even if 447 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,720 Speaker 1: we do have a toddler. But also just the logistics. 448 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:15,639 Speaker 1: The kids have sports, they've got birthday parties, we do 449 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:19,480 Speaker 1: family activities like bike rides. The baby's gonna nap twice 450 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:23,159 Speaker 1: a day for fifteen months. Like I don't think the 451 00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:24,879 Speaker 1: whole they are going to become a toddler who's a 452 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,119 Speaker 1: payin the butt to bring anywhere. But yeah, you know, 453 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:29,200 Speaker 1: we're not going to want to be home from one 454 00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:32,119 Speaker 1: to three thirty in the afternoon every Saturday so that 455 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:35,120 Speaker 1: the baby can nap. So we're and the big kids 456 00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:36,480 Speaker 1: aren't going to let you. They're not gonna have to 457 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:37,960 Speaker 1: us like they'll have They're going to be like, yeah, 458 00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:40,520 Speaker 1: you know, skip your swim meet, so I can watch 459 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:43,919 Speaker 1: the kid nap. Like that doesn't make sense. So you 460 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,639 Speaker 1: know that's going to be a family priority to have 461 00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:49,639 Speaker 1: somebody there watching the baby nap in essence, so we 462 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:54,720 Speaker 1: can go do our stuff with the big kids. That's awesome. Yeah, 463 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:57,800 Speaker 1: even we do. Like we over the summer, we had 464 00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:00,639 Speaker 1: like a regular person just come one weekend morning, just 465 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:02,160 Speaker 1: mostly so I could work out and so I could 466 00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:04,399 Speaker 1: send Josh to work without feeling like I had to 467 00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:05,919 Speaker 1: be in charge of the kids both days. And it 468 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:09,679 Speaker 1: was great, I think, and I can absolutely imagine how 469 00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:12,480 Speaker 1: it's more. It's not about like wanting me time necessarily, 470 00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:14,639 Speaker 1: it's about wanting to be present for your other kids, 471 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:17,640 Speaker 1: and it's very hard to do that. I mean, it's funny. 472 00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:19,959 Speaker 1: I didn't have as much trouble when Genevieve was like 473 00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:22,800 Speaker 1: three months old, but they quickly become nine months old 474 00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:24,880 Speaker 1: and twelve months old, and then you know they don't 475 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,439 Speaker 1: want to sit on the sidelines, and then your focus 476 00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:29,480 Speaker 1: is elsewhere and you sort of miss thing. Oh yeah, no, 477 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:32,680 Speaker 1: I miss I missed Sam like score a goal in something, 478 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:34,840 Speaker 1: because I was chasing Alex into a parking lot. And 479 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:37,640 Speaker 1: it's like, well, you know what, I'm not really here, 480 00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:41,320 Speaker 1: Alex is not enjoying it, Like this is not in 481 00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:45,639 Speaker 1: any way, you know, helpful to anybody. I need to 482 00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:47,520 Speaker 1: And this baby is going to get so much attention 483 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:49,520 Speaker 1: on the back end when when he's the only one 484 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:52,320 Speaker 1: at for years. That's true. You don't need to feel 485 00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:54,800 Speaker 1: bad about it now, that's true. I'm hoping that, you know, 486 00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:59,040 Speaker 1: this baby and Alex will be like my two travel companions. 487 00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:03,080 Speaker 1: Like originally in my sort of life narrative, I was 488 00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:07,879 Speaker 1: going to spend my entire fifties doing sort of leisure travel. 489 00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:10,760 Speaker 1: And of course now I'm still going to have kids 490 00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:15,400 Speaker 1: at home by design, like nobody needs to worry about that. 491 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:19,920 Speaker 1: But it's I've realized, like traveling with children who are 492 00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:24,280 Speaker 1: twelve is fine. Fine, it's great, it's great. It's a companion, 493 00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,919 Speaker 1: somebody to keep you company, go eat with you. Like 494 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:29,040 Speaker 1: I think even once they're over around six or something. 495 00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:31,520 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm going to like North Carolina with Annabelle, 496 00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:34,920 Speaker 1: and I'm excited, like that's not like hard. Twelve must 497 00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:36,879 Speaker 1: be amazing. And if I wanted to do anything that 498 00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:38,159 Speaker 1: they didn't want to do, they could just sit in 499 00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:40,400 Speaker 1: a hotel like it's not, you know, a big deal. 500 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:44,119 Speaker 1: So we're Wow, these two are going to be lucky, 501 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:46,720 Speaker 1: lucky guys. I mean we're going to have a great 502 00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:52,240 Speaker 1: time together. Room logistics. Oh no, that was that's a 503 00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:55,680 Speaker 1: little tougher. You're not going to move, are you. It's 504 00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:59,040 Speaker 1: it's hard to know. We so Michael and I have 505 00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:03,280 Speaker 1: been doing the standard expecting couple thing of you know, 506 00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:06,800 Speaker 1: spending like ten thirty to eleven PM looking on Zilo Zillo. 507 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,280 Speaker 1: I look on Zilla too, but it's more just to 508 00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:13,360 Speaker 1: like be very depressed. Well we'll move on. I mean 509 00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:15,680 Speaker 1: it's it's not great in our neighborhood either. I mean 510 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:17,879 Speaker 1: I if we put our house on the market, I 511 00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:19,840 Speaker 1: suspect it would take a long time to sell, just 512 00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:22,200 Speaker 1: because there's not a whole lot of movement in this area. Obviously, 513 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:23,879 Speaker 1: we'd be able to buy something very quickly if we 514 00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:26,680 Speaker 1: wanted to, you know, because there's a stock of houses. 515 00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:29,520 Speaker 1: But I don't like the stock of houses that's available 516 00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:34,520 Speaker 1: on the market, Like there's not something that is big 517 00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:40,120 Speaker 1: enough but not ridiculous, and that wouldn't also still need 518 00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:42,960 Speaker 1: a bunch of work. I mean, there are some rather large, 519 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:46,480 Speaker 1: older houses that you would then have to put a 520 00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:48,920 Speaker 1: ton of work into and given all the pain in 521 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:51,320 Speaker 1: the butt that even you wouldn't want to. You're kind 522 00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:53,359 Speaker 1: of stuck with your district because you probably want to 523 00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:55,120 Speaker 1: keep the big kids on. Yeah, I'd like to keep 524 00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:56,919 Speaker 1: them in there. So we're stuck with this district. So 525 00:27:56,960 --> 00:28:01,160 Speaker 1: there's only a certain number of houses. So I would 526 00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:03,639 Speaker 1: like to stay in ours because I like ours and 527 00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:06,440 Speaker 1: I've put a ton of time and effort into rental. 528 00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:08,720 Speaker 1: Could you do an addition? Is there any space Dame 529 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,200 Speaker 1: at all? I don't think I feel like we shouldn't 530 00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:13,800 Speaker 1: have to, you know, I mean, it's not a small house, 531 00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:17,440 Speaker 1: it's just the way that it's configured is not. Is 532 00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:20,120 Speaker 1: there any configuration? Then that's what I'm thinking we may 533 00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,680 Speaker 1: need to do, is just consult with a designer and 534 00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:24,879 Speaker 1: architect and see if there's something. I mean, once you 535 00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:27,600 Speaker 1: think about like realtor's fees and buying and selling, like 536 00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:31,119 Speaker 1: there's it almost might be more cost effective and then 537 00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:32,639 Speaker 1: you can get exactly what you want, because you're right, 538 00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:34,679 Speaker 1: it's not like you need more square footage. You just 539 00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:38,800 Speaker 1: may need an extra Yeah. And partly it's that we 540 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,200 Speaker 1: were trying to have both Michael and me have an office. 541 00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:45,600 Speaker 1: He he needs someplace he can work. But now that 542 00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:48,840 Speaker 1: he's I mean he's the head of his location, he 543 00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:51,080 Speaker 1: has to go into the office on Fridays anyway, So 544 00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:53,840 Speaker 1: it wasn't like he is working at home during the 545 00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:56,240 Speaker 1: day per se. But it's nice to have a spot 546 00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:58,800 Speaker 1: where he can work at home. But we could put 547 00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:00,680 Speaker 1: that in somewhere more out of the way. We can 548 00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:04,400 Speaker 1: use that bedroom as a combo like guest bedroom slash. 549 00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:08,520 Speaker 1: You need a separate little cottage office cottage I've seen. 550 00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:11,720 Speaker 1: It's serious, like a little building on your property that 551 00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:13,520 Speaker 1: just has like offices, and then you could have a 552 00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:16,680 Speaker 1: quiet podcast It's true, a quiet podcast space in case 553 00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:19,440 Speaker 1: anyone's working in the house. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, 554 00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:21,240 Speaker 1: we're going to have to figure it out. The good 555 00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:23,040 Speaker 1: news is I know that I don't actually have to 556 00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:26,520 Speaker 1: figure it out in the next few months, and baby 557 00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:29,239 Speaker 1: can just even years. I mean babies don't He can 558 00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:32,720 Speaker 1: be in a bassinet for the first three four months 559 00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:34,800 Speaker 1: and then we can figure it out. And so that 560 00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:38,480 Speaker 1: really gives us another eight nine months before we absolutely 561 00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:40,440 Speaker 1: have to make a decision on this, like are we moving, 562 00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:44,600 Speaker 1: are we redoing stuff? Because currently you have you have 563 00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:49,880 Speaker 1: two three, three rooms and four kids. Yeah, so I see, yeah, yep, 564 00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:53,000 Speaker 1: we can. We can update to keep you updated. And 565 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:57,920 Speaker 1: our car situation is also not going to need to 566 00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:01,200 Speaker 1: change that. Oh good, aren e. Van does seat five, 567 00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:03,600 Speaker 1: although the kids were whining about going to have to 568 00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,480 Speaker 1: sit three across in the back. We rented in California 569 00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:10,360 Speaker 1: Chevy suburban and it seemed like the back seat was 570 00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:13,880 Speaker 1: a little bit nicer, so that may wind up being 571 00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:19,000 Speaker 1: the next one. Cool. Well, I wanted to mention some 572 00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:21,960 Speaker 1: of these listener baby tips before we move on to 573 00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:25,640 Speaker 1: our question. Kay, So first I'm just going to give 574 00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:28,560 Speaker 1: a list of products that people were like all over. 575 00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:32,000 Speaker 1: Number one, the snow we had. I think three people 576 00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:34,080 Speaker 1: mentioned this, What is this snow? I don't even know 577 00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:36,920 Speaker 1: what it's this like fancy so I think it's the 578 00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:41,240 Speaker 1: guy who did, oh my gosh, what's that really, Doctor 579 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:46,640 Speaker 1: Harvey Karp, the like baby baby guy. Okay, he partnered 580 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:49,320 Speaker 1: with some tech company to create the snow, which is 581 00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:54,640 Speaker 1: this very fancy bascinette basically that like moves and I 582 00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:57,440 Speaker 1: guess this sort of to make the baby feel very 583 00:30:57,480 --> 00:31:02,120 Speaker 1: snuggled in there, et cetera. It is quite expensive. The 584 00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:03,880 Speaker 1: product that I used on all three of my children 585 00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:06,080 Speaker 1: is now discontinued and dangerous, and it probably gave them 586 00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:08,520 Speaker 1: all flatheads and made me spend two Q on a 587 00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:11,360 Speaker 1: helmet for my third child. So maybe I should have 588 00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:15,120 Speaker 1: had a snow instead. So the snow that's the new 589 00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:18,880 Speaker 1: Fanglet'm sure if I Google search on it, it'll be 590 00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:20,920 Speaker 1: on Instagram for like the next three months that I'll 591 00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:25,560 Speaker 1: get out for it. They love Instagram. Yes, Actually, we 592 00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:27,720 Speaker 1: had a very cute basinet that we didn't use, called 593 00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:30,600 Speaker 1: the Guava Family, which was it's a great folding crib too. 594 00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:33,360 Speaker 1: You'll probably get ads for that too. That was not 595 00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:34,720 Speaker 1: on the list. Okay. The rest of the things on 596 00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:38,240 Speaker 1: the list Merlin's sleep suit, which I've also seen before, 597 00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:40,320 Speaker 1: which is great for those sleep training days when the 598 00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:43,920 Speaker 1: baby will startle themselves awake and this prevents that. The 599 00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:46,920 Speaker 1: Miracle blanket, it's a straight jacket, Like what is it? 600 00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:49,440 Speaker 1: It is? No, it's like it looks like it turns 601 00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:52,520 Speaker 1: your baby into the abominable Snowman. So my concern is like, 602 00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:54,400 Speaker 1: like you like literally the baby looks like this giant 603 00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:56,920 Speaker 1: stuffed thing and they really can't move. But like if 604 00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:59,520 Speaker 1: you're in South Florida. I'm just that seems a little warm. 605 00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:02,960 Speaker 1: It looks overheat ish, so because we would use like 606 00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:06,680 Speaker 1: Halo swaddles, but they make a nice, very meshy fabric 607 00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:09,959 Speaker 1: even if it was tight, so you know your mileage. 608 00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:14,440 Speaker 1: Mayberry people mentioned the Duna car seat, which actually looks 609 00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:17,080 Speaker 1: really cool because it's you know, like you know, the 610 00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:19,040 Speaker 1: old school, like Chico. They fit into that snap and 611 00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:21,680 Speaker 1: go which is very convenient. Well, this the Duna like 612 00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:24,120 Speaker 1: the wheels like how I'm gesturing and this is a podcast, 613 00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:26,480 Speaker 1: but the wheels fold up underneath, so it looks like 614 00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:27,840 Speaker 1: it's kind of like a snap and go all in 615 00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:28,880 Speaker 1: one and you could like pull it out of the 616 00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:30,480 Speaker 1: car and go like oh, and then the wheels it 617 00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:32,719 Speaker 1: would just kind of come down. But it does make 618 00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:35,360 Speaker 1: me wonder if it's extremely heavy. It looks cool, so 619 00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:38,760 Speaker 1: I would check that one out. The Duna people really 620 00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:43,280 Speaker 1: like the kii ND bottle and pumping system, which I 621 00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:46,480 Speaker 1: think basically saves you from having to wash as many 622 00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:50,440 Speaker 1: bottles and pump parts. I'm not totally clear it looks, 623 00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:52,680 Speaker 1: but it looks fancy, new fangled, so you may want 624 00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:55,280 Speaker 1: to check that out with your pump supplies the two 625 00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,600 Speaker 1: pumps we already mentioned, the Willow and the lv You know, 626 00:32:57,640 --> 00:32:59,800 Speaker 1: the Specter was kind of like the twenty sixteen, twenty 627 00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:02,520 Speaker 1: seventine pump, and that's the one I used, and I 628 00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:04,400 Speaker 1: liked it. That one's covered by insurance. The Willow and 629 00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:07,160 Speaker 1: LBE are much more expensive, so depending if you just 630 00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:09,800 Speaker 1: want that traditional pump, I feel like the Specter has 631 00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:14,080 Speaker 1: kind of like overtaken the Medella as the popular traditional pump. 632 00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:20,200 Speaker 1: Somebody mentioned using depends for those postpartum days. Okay, personally, 633 00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:22,880 Speaker 1: I just like that mesh underwear. That's underwear and just 634 00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:26,480 Speaker 1: throw that in the garden pads and then normal giant, yeah, 635 00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:30,600 Speaker 1: giant stack of pads. Lovely tons of burp cloths. I 636 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:32,320 Speaker 1: agree with that. I love burp cloths, like just those 637 00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:35,480 Speaker 1: like nice like cotton, plain ones, a good sound machine 638 00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:38,400 Speaker 1: you probably already have, and then a slightly controversial one, 639 00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:42,240 Speaker 1: the outlet, which is like a baby breathing monitor, and 640 00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:46,040 Speaker 1: I kind of give that the side. I'm like, unless 641 00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:48,920 Speaker 1: your baby is a high risk baby, I guess I 642 00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:52,440 Speaker 1: just yeah, but someone's gonna say that their baby would 643 00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:55,160 Speaker 1: have died said without it, I don't want so but 644 00:33:55,160 --> 00:34:00,680 Speaker 1: there's still like babies usually breathe. I think we're all 645 00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:06,760 Speaker 1: this stuff is a little bit over braes breathe usually. Yeah, 646 00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:08,520 Speaker 1: so I wasn't a fan. I mean I am like 647 00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:11,880 Speaker 1: in the minority. We never even had a video baby monitor. Yeah, 648 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,600 Speaker 1: we just had the sound one and figured, like you know, 649 00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:17,319 Speaker 1: we did keep each baby in the room for at 650 00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:19,160 Speaker 1: least a good six months. I feel like we moved 651 00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:21,680 Speaker 1: them out after that, so that was more for convenience. 652 00:34:21,719 --> 00:34:24,960 Speaker 1: And there are some AAP recommendations, although again you know 653 00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:28,120 Speaker 1: that's controversial too because really, if you don't have a 654 00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:32,000 Speaker 1: lot of sid's risk factors, the odds are quite low. 655 00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:35,040 Speaker 1: They're never zero, but they're never zero for anyone, whether 656 00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:37,680 Speaker 1: the baby's in the room or not. So so yeah, 657 00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:41,000 Speaker 1: that was pretty much the list of products, and then 658 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:44,840 Speaker 1: there were some lists of kind of tips. Some people 659 00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:47,719 Speaker 1: said night nanny, so they're on your page with that. 660 00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:50,200 Speaker 1: Tell the people who offer to bring you food to 661 00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:53,520 Speaker 1: come bring you breakfast. That's interesting. I would I think 662 00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:55,560 Speaker 1: i'd want like a late breakfast because I feel like 663 00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:56,880 Speaker 1: when I had the baby, that was like that's like 664 00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:58,959 Speaker 1: the time that I sleep the latest of anything, because 665 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:04,080 Speaker 1: I'll sleep until that last sleep cycle, grocery delivery. Yes, quote, 666 00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:06,239 Speaker 1: as soon as the baby falls asleep, do the one 667 00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:07,680 Speaker 1: thing you need to do to make you feel like 668 00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:10,759 Speaker 1: a person forget about all else. I like that, I mean, 669 00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:12,359 Speaker 1: I kind of agree with that. For me, that's either 670 00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:15,840 Speaker 1: like workout or like writing a blog poster, like something 671 00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:18,600 Speaker 1: like not you know, sweeping the floor, something that just 672 00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:21,520 Speaker 1: makes you feel like you're getting dressed, for example. And 673 00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:23,759 Speaker 1: then I will throw out my own personal tip. If 674 00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:26,720 Speaker 1: you work in a traditional office, consider a mini fridge. 675 00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:28,920 Speaker 1: That was so awesome to have with Genevieve because I 676 00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:31,319 Speaker 1: didn't have to like walk anywhere. I just pumped in 677 00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:33,719 Speaker 1: my office and then threw the stuff in my own 678 00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:37,760 Speaker 1: fridge and closed my door, and it just negated any 679 00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:41,120 Speaker 1: walking around that would have been necessary and annoying. So yeah, no, 680 00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:45,480 Speaker 1: that's I mean, my home office is ten feet from 681 00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:48,919 Speaker 1: my real fridge, so it's not really an issue. Although 682 00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:51,920 Speaker 1: I usually pumped up in the upstairs in my bathroom, 683 00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:55,480 Speaker 1: so my rhythm tended to be and people say, well, 684 00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:58,080 Speaker 1: why are you even pumping if you have, you know, 685 00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:01,600 Speaker 1: the baby with you, which is more that if little 686 00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:05,440 Speaker 1: pro tip here from somebody who's nursed for babies and 687 00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:09,680 Speaker 1: plans to. A fifth is if you set your baseline 688 00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:14,200 Speaker 1: higher than you actually need for the baby. When your 689 00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:17,880 Speaker 1: milk comes in the amount your body producers comes in 690 00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:20,480 Speaker 1: with all, it comes in with a vengeance first, and 691 00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:21,719 Speaker 1: you can try to keep which is one of the 692 00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:24,160 Speaker 1: funny questions. Like I remember I was talking with the 693 00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:26,359 Speaker 1: nurse at the hospital after I had my first baby, 694 00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:27,560 Speaker 1: and I'm like, well, how well I know when it 695 00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:31,240 Speaker 1: comes in? She's like, oh, you'll know, which is true. 696 00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:34,120 Speaker 1: And you wake up and you have coconuts on your 697 00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:37,520 Speaker 1: like boulders, where's on your chest? But anyway, if you 698 00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:41,439 Speaker 1: start pumping immediately after that happens, and pump an extra 699 00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:43,920 Speaker 1: bottle or two a day, that's where your baseline production 700 00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:47,520 Speaker 1: will be set. And so then you have wiggle room, 701 00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:51,440 Speaker 1: Like if you miss a feeding, you may lose some capacity, 702 00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:54,040 Speaker 1: but you are pumping twelve extra ounces a day versus 703 00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:57,600 Speaker 1: what you need, so you are fine. Like it can 704 00:36:57,640 --> 00:37:00,920 Speaker 1: go down over the next few months and still be 705 00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:02,800 Speaker 1: more than enough for the baby, and then that helps 706 00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:05,000 Speaker 1: you build up a stash. Now that it does, of 707 00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:08,600 Speaker 1: course require you to pump in addition to nursing. And 708 00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:10,760 Speaker 1: I found that I produced the most milk in the morning, 709 00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:14,200 Speaker 1: so I would wake up and pump first thing, Pump 710 00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:16,319 Speaker 1: you know, a couple ounces after a while and after 711 00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:17,719 Speaker 1: the first few days, and then just go feed the 712 00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:20,120 Speaker 1: baby after that. So and I did that too. I 713 00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:24,040 Speaker 1: don't know that my baseline was as easily moved, but 714 00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:25,920 Speaker 1: I will say, yeah, it did it. It was enough 715 00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:29,080 Speaker 1: to cumulate a stash and grow some chunky babies. And 716 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,080 Speaker 1: and then the hard part is if you do go 717 00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:32,440 Speaker 1: back to work and have to pump for most of 718 00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:34,720 Speaker 1: the day, sometimes your body is not going to respond 719 00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:37,359 Speaker 1: as well, and so you don't. It's hard to keep 720 00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:39,319 Speaker 1: that margin going. But I could see if you work 721 00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:42,719 Speaker 1: from home and you're really mostly like breastfeeding and pumping, 722 00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:45,560 Speaker 1: that that would be like a great way to just 723 00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:47,440 Speaker 1: kind of to keep it up. Try not to then 724 00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:48,719 Speaker 1: you have that night bottle and you don't have to 725 00:37:48,719 --> 00:37:51,799 Speaker 1: be worded to try not to move too loudly. Yeah, 726 00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:56,080 Speaker 1: all right, let's do let's do our listener question. Yes, okay, 727 00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:58,400 Speaker 1: I will read it because this is this was so 728 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:01,279 Speaker 1: timely because it came in and this person did not 729 00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:03,480 Speaker 1: know that you were pregnant. But I was like, ooh, 730 00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:07,120 Speaker 1: how perfect anyway, she writes, I'm about three months pregnant 731 00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:09,000 Speaker 1: with baby number three, and it's my first time having 732 00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:12,160 Speaker 1: a baby while working for myself. I own hr consulting 733 00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:14,120 Speaker 1: practice that has been really growing in the past year. 734 00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:16,400 Speaker 1: I'm happier than ever working for myself and having the 735 00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:19,480 Speaker 1: mix of flexibility and fulfilling work. That said, I'm so 736 00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:22,000 Speaker 1: nervous to tell my clients. I'm coming up with a 737 00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:24,160 Speaker 1: coverage plan, of course, but I'm nervous about how this 738 00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:26,840 Speaker 1: works as a consultant. I don't want to lose these clients, 739 00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:29,120 Speaker 1: and I'm also tempted to just power through on my own. 740 00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:31,560 Speaker 1: Don't newborn sleep all the time? But I don't want 741 00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:33,920 Speaker 1: to kill myself either. We have a wonderful nanny, and 742 00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:36,000 Speaker 1: I know I'll continue with some work in the early days, 743 00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:38,600 Speaker 1: but want to be conscious about balancing all these things. 744 00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:41,640 Speaker 1: Any tips on how to navigate a maternity leave while 745 00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:45,440 Speaker 1: consulting or working for myself. Yeah, well, I'm about to 746 00:38:45,719 --> 00:38:49,839 Speaker 1: do the same thing. So what I can say is 747 00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:54,000 Speaker 1: that it won't look like a traditional maternity leave. If 748 00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:57,719 Speaker 1: you were a full time employee somewhere, you might have 749 00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:01,120 Speaker 1: let's say twelve to fourteen weeks off that you were 750 00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:04,640 Speaker 1: mostly off and that you would be expected to be 751 00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:08,440 Speaker 1: home then versus back in the office after it was done. 752 00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:12,279 Speaker 1: For me, it's been that you probably won't get a 753 00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:14,360 Speaker 1: whole lot done in the first week or two, so 754 00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:17,240 Speaker 1: you sort of need to plan for that. But after 755 00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:20,839 Speaker 1: that you can definitely start working at say, you know, 756 00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:23,799 Speaker 1: twenty five percent capacity, like you're doing one to two 757 00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:27,160 Speaker 1: hours a day. Yes, newborns do sleep a lot, and 758 00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:30,640 Speaker 1: part of the reason for maternity leaves is sort you 759 00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:33,279 Speaker 1: can then establish breastfeeding when you're at home with your baby. 760 00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:34,880 Speaker 1: But if you're working at home with your baby, like 761 00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:38,520 Speaker 1: I mean, you've got time, like you can just send 762 00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:41,879 Speaker 1: emails or read something. I found it was a little 763 00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:45,799 Speaker 1: bit more difficult to meet time specific commitments. So I 764 00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:48,040 Speaker 1: tried not to schedule a whole lot of phone calls, 765 00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:51,360 Speaker 1: for instance, or say a webinar that required me to 766 00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:55,000 Speaker 1: be online and looking decent and rested at a certain time, 767 00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:56,920 Speaker 1: because that was going to be harder to do. But 768 00:39:56,960 --> 00:39:58,600 Speaker 1: if somebody said, like, could you do this in the 769 00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:01,920 Speaker 1: next forty eight seventy two like that, I definitely could do. 770 00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:04,279 Speaker 1: You know, you probably want to manage the pipeline a 771 00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:07,440 Speaker 1: little bit. You know, talking to your clients, you might 772 00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:10,640 Speaker 1: say yes to a project even if you know you're 773 00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:12,440 Speaker 1: only a couple weeks out, because you know it'll take 774 00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:15,200 Speaker 1: six weeks for them to approve it, so you know 775 00:40:15,239 --> 00:40:17,160 Speaker 1: that's further in the future, and so you can manage 776 00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:20,920 Speaker 1: the pipeline that way. I have for speaking, I'm trying 777 00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:27,839 Speaker 1: to not travel out of Philadelphia between sort of mid 778 00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:33,160 Speaker 1: December to mid April, and that I think will be 779 00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:35,839 Speaker 1: dual because it corresponds with the time that nobody has 780 00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:38,360 Speaker 1: their conferences. Anyway, Well, March is, March is busy, So 781 00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:42,080 Speaker 1: I'm giving up March, which is you know, that's the 782 00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:45,040 Speaker 1: reality you'll have next next March. That's what I tell 783 00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:47,320 Speaker 1: everyone who asks. I'm like, I can't for family reasons 784 00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:50,000 Speaker 1: this March. But if you're looking for speakers for twenty 785 00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:54,200 Speaker 1: twenty one, I'm available, and that's what my agent is 786 00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:57,680 Speaker 1: telling people too, and then I can be back after that. 787 00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:02,000 Speaker 1: I think after April will be fine. So yeah, it's 788 00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:04,600 Speaker 1: you know, if you're good at what you do, like 789 00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:08,879 Speaker 1: clients aren't going to go anywhere if they do. That's 790 00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:12,560 Speaker 1: sort of weird because like three months is actually not 791 00:41:12,719 --> 00:41:16,239 Speaker 1: that long. Oh, my gosh, it goes to frand it 792 00:41:16,280 --> 00:41:18,360 Speaker 1: really thinks it's like you plan it and it seems 793 00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:20,520 Speaker 1: like this big thing and then once it happens, like 794 00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:22,520 Speaker 1: you know, because I've one of my coworkers was out 795 00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:24,360 Speaker 1: and it was like, wait, that was three months like that. 796 00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:28,480 Speaker 1: It really from an outsider's perspective, I think it goes 797 00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:31,520 Speaker 1: so much faster than you're thinking. So I agree with Laura, 798 00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:34,040 Speaker 1: like if you kind of at least keep a foot 799 00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:36,080 Speaker 1: in it, but nothing. Yeah, and the good thing I'm 800 00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:38,160 Speaker 1: working for yourself that you can manage it after those 801 00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:39,920 Speaker 1: three months too, Like if you want to sort of 802 00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:43,160 Speaker 1: keep yourself at maybe fifty to seventy five percent capacity 803 00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:45,680 Speaker 1: for heck, the next six months after that, that's something 804 00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:49,520 Speaker 1: you can probably manage. You know, feel free to tell 805 00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:51,600 Speaker 1: people I'd love to do this. I think we need 806 00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:54,160 Speaker 1: to push that one forward a little bit. You probably 807 00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:56,400 Speaker 1: won't be reaching out to as many new clients in 808 00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:59,040 Speaker 1: the next couple of months just because of the reality 809 00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:02,480 Speaker 1: of being busy and not wanting to sign a huge 810 00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:05,239 Speaker 1: contract that would start the day after your baby's born. 811 00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:09,520 Speaker 1: So there's some natural less of it. So, yes, it 812 00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:12,360 Speaker 1: is a hit, and this is always you know, gets 813 00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:14,239 Speaker 1: at my ego a little bit, like I've always earned 814 00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:17,960 Speaker 1: less the years that I've had a baby because I'm 815 00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,799 Speaker 1: working less. I mean, this is just reality. But on 816 00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:23,719 Speaker 1: the other hand, so we did have that amazing podcast 817 00:42:23,719 --> 00:42:26,040 Speaker 1: our guest Helen who the most had her best year, 818 00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:29,600 Speaker 1: so that other people may have a different experience, and 819 00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:32,920 Speaker 1: maybe this will give you time to think about raising 820 00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:35,839 Speaker 1: your rates, Like you know, I'm if you want me back, 821 00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:38,000 Speaker 1: you're you're going to have to pay for it, so 822 00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:42,000 Speaker 1: you can start a bidding bitting now every So, yeah, 823 00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:45,480 Speaker 1: I think it's it's actually great as a self employed person, Like, 824 00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:48,239 Speaker 1: if you want time completely off, that's going to be 825 00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:50,759 Speaker 1: harder to do. But if you are willing to do 826 00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:52,960 Speaker 1: a little bit of work, you can totally maintain the 827 00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:55,320 Speaker 1: business and actually go for quite a while while still 828 00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:57,879 Speaker 1: breastfeeding and spending a lot of time with your baby. 829 00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:02,839 Speaker 1: Too cool. All right, Well, we hope that empowers that 830 00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:05,080 Speaker 1: listener and we'll maybe she'll send us an update on 831 00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:09,680 Speaker 1: how it goes. So our love of the week mine 832 00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:13,799 Speaker 1: is the Aaron Condrin whiteboards that I ordered. Actually you 833 00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:16,960 Speaker 1: can almost see them. I know you guys can see, 834 00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:19,440 Speaker 1: but Laura, I'm going to show you this is this 835 00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:23,080 Speaker 1: is multimedia. All right. Well, wow, she's taking her headphones off, 836 00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:24,960 Speaker 1: so I don't even know if anyone's gonna be able 837 00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:27,480 Speaker 1: to hear what she's about to tell us. Okay, she 838 00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:29,759 Speaker 1: is showing me a white it's a lovely check off. 839 00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:34,879 Speaker 1: Oh cool, there was a whiteboard, and the other one 840 00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:39,040 Speaker 1: is a calendar. And my kids freaking they're not up 841 00:43:39,040 --> 00:43:42,120 Speaker 1: on the wall yet, but they love these things. So 842 00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:44,960 Speaker 1: I'm going to call them a big win. I customize them, 843 00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:47,160 Speaker 1: it says, younger kids get it done on one of them, 844 00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:50,000 Speaker 1: and then they are spaces for Annabel and spaces for Cameron, 845 00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:52,720 Speaker 1: and then they like certain chores or like their homework 846 00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:54,239 Speaker 1: or cleaning up are all on there, and then they 847 00:43:54,239 --> 00:43:56,600 Speaker 1: get to make check marks. And then Annabel actually on 848 00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:58,640 Speaker 1: her own, came up with this system where we said, well, 849 00:43:58,680 --> 00:43:59,960 Speaker 1: if you do all your tech marks, you get a 850 00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:02,920 Speaker 1: smiley face. And she created all these coupons and then 851 00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:05,960 Speaker 1: she asked me to come up with numerical values for like, So, 852 00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:08,040 Speaker 1: for example, one coupon is like get new art supplies, 853 00:44:08,040 --> 00:44:10,200 Speaker 1: and I decided that was nine smiley faces, and one 854 00:44:10,239 --> 00:44:11,920 Speaker 1: of them was like get ice cream, and that was fifteen, 855 00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:13,879 Speaker 1: so like they were all I get to I got 856 00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:16,960 Speaker 1: to valuate them. She made this little coupon holder organize 857 00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:20,080 Speaker 1: them by value, like completely on her own. It's very impressive, 858 00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:22,680 Speaker 1: and they are highly motivated. Now this is like a 859 00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:24,839 Speaker 1: week in and I'm sure some of the excitement will 860 00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:28,719 Speaker 1: wear off, but right now I am like extremely excited 861 00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:32,040 Speaker 1: about this new that's awesome. So if you have kids 862 00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:35,880 Speaker 1: for whom this system works, that's that's awesome. If anyone 863 00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:38,520 Speaker 1: else is listening to this and have children who would 864 00:44:38,719 --> 00:44:41,759 Speaker 1: like flush the coupons down the toilet, that's just a 865 00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:46,280 Speaker 1: different temperament. And children are who they are, so little rebels. 866 00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:48,120 Speaker 1: I feel like that might have been Cameron's instinct. But 867 00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:52,600 Speaker 1: because Annabelle is leaving the charge, he is, he's following 868 00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:54,560 Speaker 1: if somebody made it. I got to say, if somebody 869 00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:56,840 Speaker 1: made a check mark boxes for me, I would be 870 00:44:56,960 --> 00:45:00,400 Speaker 1: very tempted to throw the whiteboard out the windows. Really, 871 00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:03,759 Speaker 1: you're an upholder, Laura, that is. I love check I'm 872 00:45:03,840 --> 00:45:10,520 Speaker 1: usually like other people's checkbox. It's so funny. I love it. 873 00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:13,560 Speaker 1: I love it. My love and your love is my 874 00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:16,799 Speaker 1: school account dot com. So our district works with them 875 00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:18,480 Speaker 1: and I know a lot of other districts do too. 876 00:45:18,560 --> 00:45:20,799 Speaker 1: It's just a very easy system to put in lunch 877 00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:25,319 Speaker 1: money for the kids. So you, you know, transfer money 878 00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:28,560 Speaker 1: from your bank account. You can see the rate at 879 00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:30,680 Speaker 1: which your children are spending the money. You can see 880 00:45:30,719 --> 00:45:34,480 Speaker 1: what they're buying if it's not the regular lunch, you 881 00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:37,120 Speaker 1: could see any extras that they are picking up. I've 882 00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:39,160 Speaker 1: been pondering why one of my children goes through the 883 00:45:39,239 --> 00:45:42,560 Speaker 1: lunch money so much quicker than the others. Still trying 884 00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:45,120 Speaker 1: to figure this out. Fascinating. It's fascinating because it didn't 885 00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:50,919 Speaker 1: seem like there was so many. Friend, I think he's 886 00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:53,480 Speaker 1: like doing like a robin hood. That could be he's 887 00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:58,360 Speaker 1: buying like a snack for someone else around around roothing. 888 00:45:59,160 --> 00:46:00,880 Speaker 1: But but it's just so easy, and I feel like 889 00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:03,040 Speaker 1: if I were trying to send in money with them, 890 00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:06,800 Speaker 1: this would be disastrous in terms of getting lost daily. 891 00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:09,520 Speaker 1: So yeah, big fan of that. All right, Well, this 892 00:46:09,640 --> 00:46:11,840 Speaker 1: has been best of both worlds. This has been Episode 893 00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:14,960 Speaker 1: one thirteen. We've been mostly talking baby stuff. We'll be 894 00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:17,200 Speaker 1: back next week with more on making work and life 895 00:46:17,239 --> 00:46:21,960 Speaker 1: fit together. Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah 896 00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:26,000 Speaker 1: at the shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox 897 00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:29,799 Speaker 1: on Instagram, and you can find me Laura at Laura 898 00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:33,120 Speaker 1: vandercam dot com. This has been the best of both 899 00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:36,680 Speaker 1: worlds podcasts. Please join us next time for more on 900 00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:38,720 Speaker 1: making work and life work together.