WEBVTT - Three ways to meet your happiness needs

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is about how to feel happier about your work,

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<v Speaker 1>whatever your work happens to be. If you can have

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<v Speaker 1>three particular sorts of experiences each day, you can most

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<v Speaker 1>likely have very good days over and over again. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>tip comes from ya Ll Shoenbrun's new book, Work, Parent Thrive.

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<v Speaker 1>This book is about cognitive strategies that can help you

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<v Speaker 1>navigate working parenthood with far less stress. In her book,

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<v Speaker 1>ya Ll has a chapter encouraging people to tend to

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<v Speaker 1>their happiness needs. What you might ask, are these happiness needs? Well,

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<v Speaker 1>there's pretty good evidence that people feel best about work

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<v Speaker 1>when they have three things that happen regularly. First, opportunities

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<v Speaker 1>to feel skillful, capable, or masterful. Second, connection to people

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<v Speaker 1>or causes they care about. And third, freedom to choose

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<v Speaker 1>their own actions. So basically progress, connection, autonomy. Now you

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<v Speaker 1>might be thinking, well, of course, those are three things

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<v Speaker 1>that sound great, but it is different to know that

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<v Speaker 1>those three things are important versus actually designing your days

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<v Speaker 1>to have experiences in each of these domains. What you

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<v Speaker 1>want to do is look through your days and identify

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<v Speaker 1>how you will experience this progress, connection and autonomy. If

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<v Speaker 1>you do that, you will have died to your happiness

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<v Speaker 1>needs and we'll probably be much happier. We can envision

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<v Speaker 1>many ways this might work. For instance, I feel particularly

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<v Speaker 1>skillful while creating second drafts of things. If I've got

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<v Speaker 1>a rough draft and I'm using my editing skills to

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<v Speaker 1>make the piece better, I can see massive progress and

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<v Speaker 1>this makes me feel very happy. I feel connection when

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<v Speaker 1>I have chats with other writers whose work I enjoy.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel autonomy when I decide what I would like

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<v Speaker 1>to work on. So for me, a good day might

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<v Speaker 1>involve spending the morning editing a piece I'm really into,

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<v Speaker 1>a lunch break where I have a video call with

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<v Speaker 1>a few writer friends, and then leaving the afternoon open

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<v Speaker 1>so I can decide what I'd like to work on

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<v Speaker 1>in the moment. Your experiences might be entirely different. Perhaps

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<v Speaker 1>a presentation to a group where you show your mastery,

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<v Speaker 1>a lunch with your direct reports making a decision to

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<v Speaker 1>green light a new program. But that would hit all

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<v Speaker 1>three domains too and would make for a great day.

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<v Speaker 1>We can also think of how to have these experiences

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<v Speaker 1>while doing the work of caring for family members. This

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<v Speaker 1>can be harder, as sometimes a sense of progress is

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<v Speaker 1>not nearly so obvious, but we can engineer it. Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>you find a really great book from the library and

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<v Speaker 1>make it through it with your kid. You have a

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<v Speaker 1>play date with another family whose company you enjoy, and

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<v Speaker 1>you plan out a day where you've chosen things you

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<v Speaker 1>find energizing, like a walk with the stroller and some

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<v Speaker 1>relaxation with a hobby during naptime. That day would likely

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<v Speaker 1>feel better than the sorts of days where we are

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<v Speaker 1>counting the hours until bedtime. So if you are looking

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<v Speaker 1>to experience more happiness in your work, whatever your work,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe see if you can create experiences in the three

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<v Speaker 1>domains yah L talks about in work parent thrive. Can

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<v Speaker 1>you feel skillful? Can you feel connected to something that

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<v Speaker 1>matters to you? Do you have at least sometime where

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<v Speaker 1>you feel free to choose your own actions. You can

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<v Speaker 1>certainly look back on a day and identify those kinds

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<v Speaker 1>of experiences, and that might be a good exercise for

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<v Speaker 1>a day that wasn't all you hoped it would be.

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<v Speaker 1>But it's even better to think through these things ahead

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<v Speaker 1>of time, as Yeah. L says when you experience competence, connectedness,

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<v Speaker 1>or autonomy, pause, acknowledge and relish that moment. Spotlight what's

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<v Speaker 1>going well. This practice us of savory will increase and

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<v Speaker 1>extend experiences of happiness in the meantime. This is Laura.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of

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<v Speaker 1>our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear from you.

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<v Speaker 1>You can send me your tips, your questions, or anything else.

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<v Speaker 1>Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at

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<v Speaker 1>Before Breakfast pod that's B the number four, then Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>p o D. You can also shoot me an email

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<v Speaker 1>at Before Breakfast podcast at i heeart media dot com

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<v Speaker 1>that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks so much. Should I look forward to staying in touch.

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<v Speaker 1>Before Breakfast is a production of I heart Radio. For

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