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Speaker 1: Am I the asshole for abandoning my fiance and taking

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Speaker 1: another man to Thanksgiving? This story is very special to

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Speaker 1: us because it comes from our subreddit, our slash Okop show.

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Speaker 1: It's part of the Okay Gang. And if you have

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Speaker 1: a story that you want to submit to us, go

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Speaker 1: to our slash okop show and submit it right now.

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Speaker 2: We might just read it.

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Speaker 1: This story comes from user okay honey dew alrighty, so

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Speaker 1: start off. It might be a long one since there's

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Speaker 1: a bit of a backstory, but I'm excited to get

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Speaker 1: into that backstory. Me twenty one female and my fiance

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Speaker 1: will call Cody twenty one mail met when he came

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Speaker 1: to my school at ten years old. History yeah, history

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Speaker 1: going for sure. We started dating at thirteen me and

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Speaker 1: fourteen him. We've been together for almost eight years and

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Speaker 1: got engaged two years ago when I graduated Army Basic training.

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Speaker 1: We've had our share of ups and downs over the years,

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Speaker 1: mainly from his end. A year into dating, he was

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Speaker 1: trying to get another girl to be his girlfriend. He'd

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Speaker 1: go to our house. He joined drama club for her

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Speaker 1: and partake in a man already Jane with her a

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Speaker 1: bad boy also but like I mean it's bad, but

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Speaker 1: they were also only fourteen, yeah, pretty young. I mean

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Speaker 1: even twenty one, like op is like twenty one, that

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Speaker 1: is young too. That's crazy. I mean still it's again,

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Speaker 1: it's still bad. But wow, like that's an early like

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Speaker 1: I know some of Do you know anyone who like

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Speaker 1: started dating that early?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, in sixth grade. I was going to go ask

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Speaker 3: out this girl to be my girlfriend. She already asked

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Speaker 3: a friend of mine, and they got together on.

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Speaker 4: Twelve, twelve twelve.

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Speaker 2: That's a great, great day.

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Speaker 4: And they're still together. Wow, they're not married yet. I

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Speaker 4: don't know why. I've heard some things. What did you hear,

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Speaker 4: like that they cheated on each other or something like that.

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Speaker 4: I don't know if it's true. I hope not. It

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Speaker 4: would break my heart if it was.

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Speaker 1: Like not that it's good, but I understand if you

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Speaker 1: have a relationship that early, like and you're immature and stuff,

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Speaker 1: you know, not excusing it. But we were in ninth

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Speaker 1: grade when this happened, and I didn't find out the

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Speaker 1: full truth until tenth grade. Up until this point, he

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Speaker 1: claimed she was ugly, looked like a boy, and had

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Speaker 1: a weird blue hair. When I found out, I was

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Speaker 1: upset but got over it because we were dumb and

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Speaker 1: eighth graders, right, That's what I what I was saying.

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Speaker 1: That's what I was saying. It's like, yeah, it's like

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Speaker 1: you're young and stupid. I mean I'm still young and stupid.

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Speaker 1: Not that young, yes, stupid. Then in our first year college,

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Speaker 1: I was feeling paranoid and went through his phone. I

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Speaker 1: found only fans, which he also said was disgusting and

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Speaker 1: he doesn't understand why girls or men would use it.

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Speaker 1: You also had conversation with girls that bordered on inappropriate

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Speaker 1: topics and saved a ton of Instagram girls pictures showing

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Speaker 1: a lot of butt in cleavage. I almost left him

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Speaker 1: over this again. Okay, of those things, what is your

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Speaker 1: order of what is the most egregious offense?

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Speaker 2: Right? What would your order be?

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Speaker 3: Definitely the only fans, because you're like putting money towards

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Speaker 3: seeing other women, and then the.

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Speaker 1: And he's messaging those women too. Yeah, okay, so only

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Speaker 1: fans first, then what.

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Speaker 3: And then saving the pictures of the stuff you said,

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Speaker 3: oh yeah, OnlyFans message?

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Speaker 1: Well, oh, I would go Instagram messages first, only fans second,

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Speaker 1: and saving the butt picks third.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's the move, because I mean.

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Speaker 1: If my girlfriend saved a bunch of like hot dude

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Speaker 1: picks on Instagram, I don't think I would think that

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Speaker 1: much of it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, honestly, but if I I feel like my girlfriend

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Speaker 3: would get mad at me. Though, if I didn't save

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Speaker 3: a lot of like hot girl picks or liked him

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Speaker 3: some girls were chiol with Dad, I think.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I've just never been like that kind of way

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Speaker 1: on Instagram. Yeah, I mean either like I wouldn't go

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Speaker 1: through my Instagram just to like like hot girls.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's only when like my buddies like tricked us

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Speaker 3: out and then like it's on my phone the next day.

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Speaker 1: Thanks man, thanks for changing my Explore page. But he

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Speaker 1: pointed out that most of the date stamps were again

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Speaker 1: from six months prior. He claimed it was a dumb

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Speaker 1: mistake from when I was stressed and depressed in college

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Speaker 1: with no desire to get dirty in the sheets. I

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Speaker 1: was stupid and let it go because we were just

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Speaker 1: young college adults.

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Speaker 2: Well maybe a little bit. That's a little bit worse.

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Speaker 1: I think by the time you're in college you should

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Speaker 1: have a more developed prefrontal cortex. Those were his prior

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Speaker 1: mistakes when we were in high school, we didn't go

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Speaker 1: on dates. I go to his house and we get

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Speaker 1: frisky a couple of times, and I get a ride home.

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Speaker 2: We were just.

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Speaker 1: Teenagers going at it at any chance we got. In college,

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Speaker 1: we just drank a bunch and got free a couple

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Speaker 1: of times a week. Now we are basically roommates who

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Speaker 1: sleep in the same bed and bang once or twice

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Speaker 1: a month. Since we've been together, I've realized I'm also

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Speaker 1: into women and don't have any desire to get freaky

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Speaker 1: with my fiance much. I feel as though the spark

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Speaker 1: is dead and there might be better options out there

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Speaker 1: for both of us. Okay, yikes, we're getting some dicey territory.

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Speaker 1: It also feels like a lot of the like it

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Speaker 1: seems like he broke the trust a couple of times. Yeah, Opia,

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Speaker 1: I'm curious how you kind of discovered your feelings for

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Speaker 1: other women too, Like how did those develop? Is it like,

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Speaker 1: have you tried anything yet or is it just like

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Speaker 1: you're noticing these feelings building.

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Speaker 3: Do you think it's the same way like us boys

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Speaker 3: are attracted to women, Like she started looking at girls

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Speaker 3: like oh nice.

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Speaker 1: But it's like it did like I feel like, I mean,

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Speaker 1: I guess it seems like she noticed it in college.

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Speaker 1: I'm wondering, like, what what sparked that? Now to the story.

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Speaker 1: It was Thanksgiving Day and I was driving me and

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Speaker 1: Cody to my family brunch. He starts saying things like,

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Speaker 1: are you happy? And we should probably talk and make

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Speaker 1: sure we are because we're about to get married, which

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Speaker 1: is a weird thing to say. If that is how

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Speaker 1: you're proposing.

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Speaker 4: Will you be happy? You want to talk about this

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Speaker 4: marriage thing?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that is weird. Kind of a lame way to propose. Wait,

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Speaker 1: when did I mention the tear jar without this episode?

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Speaker 1: I start to panic, thinking he's going to break up

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Speaker 1: with me. But we get to my family's house. That

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Speaker 1: meal was awkward, with little to no talking between us.

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Speaker 1: The rest of the day we just ignored that conversation.

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Speaker 1: We continued with his family's dinner and I went to

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Speaker 1: my work party around seven pm. I work at a

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Speaker 1: small bar in a hometown which has like a one

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Speaker 1: and thirteen people. There's a total of five workers at

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Speaker 1: the bar, only four of which showed up to the party,

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Speaker 1: and about five of our regulars drinking at the bar.

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Speaker 1: We all have a couple of drinks and start playing pool.

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Speaker 1: We have two pool tables, so we were trading off

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Speaker 1: winners and played for about thirty minutes before a regular

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Speaker 1: we'll call him Austin, twenty eight male shows up and

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Speaker 1: calls the next winter at our table. I am notoriously

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Speaker 1: bad at pool, so we're all shocked when I want.

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Speaker 1: We all play around before trading off and continue to

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Speaker 1: trade partners for a couple of hours.

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Speaker 2: While playing.

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Speaker 1: Another female bartender who is bisexual comes out at the

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Speaker 1: b and tells me to rethink my engagement and make

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Speaker 1: sure he's the one before we end up like Tom

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Speaker 1: and Patty, a regular customer who around seventy years old

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Speaker 1: and an old, cranky, married couple. She was hitting on

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Speaker 1: me and another worker all night, but it made me

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Speaker 1: more worried about the conversation I had with Cody earlier

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Speaker 1: that day. I started panicking again about ending up alone forever.

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Speaker 1: This is when alcohol and insecurities mix in a bad way.

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Speaker 1: I decided, we need to see if I can even

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Speaker 1: get another guy, or anyone other than my coworker interested

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Speaker 1: in me, or if I'll be alone forever. I was

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Speaker 1: going to flirt with Austin and see if he flirts back. Oh,

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Speaker 1: p No, don't stoop to your your boyfriend's level. I mean, like,

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Speaker 1: it sounds like you needed to break up with him,

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Speaker 1: but this is not how to do it, Opie.

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Speaker 2: We love you part of the Okay gang, but don't

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Speaker 2: do it.

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Speaker 1: Austin was funny and sweet and sounds like a good

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Speaker 1: guy who went to the same school, and I vaguely

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Speaker 1: remember him and his friend group in the high school

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Speaker 1: halls when I was in middle school. At the end

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Speaker 1: of the night, I still didn't know if I had

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Speaker 1: it or not. Bar was closing and I had to

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Speaker 1: walk to my friend Mary's apartment a few blocks away.

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Speaker 1: She works night shifts and lets me crash at her

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Speaker 1: place when I shouldn't be driving. Austin also lives in

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Speaker 1: that direction, but a little out of the way. Also,

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Speaker 1: op Like, just because Austin might want to hook up

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Speaker 1: with you doesn't mean he's gonna want to stick with

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Speaker 1: you for the long haul. It doesn't necessarily mean he's

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Speaker 1: assuages your fear of being alone. I mean, like, you

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Speaker 1: could probably hook up with a lot of people, but

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Speaker 1: does that mean they're going to be there for you?

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Speaker 2: Like? I don't think so.

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Speaker 4: You don't want to smash and dash.

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Speaker 1: You don't want to smash and dash. He offered to

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Speaker 1: walk me there, and I gladly accept it. There have

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Speaker 1: been a few abductions and murders of the past year, right, okay,

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Speaker 1: so she wants someone to like make sure that she's

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Speaker 1: safe one one hundred and thirteen. There's a serial killer

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Speaker 1: in your town.

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: He offered to walk me there, and I gladly accept him.

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Speaker 1: So I also figured, hey, one last shot. I wasn't

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Speaker 1: going to sleep with him or anything. I'm terrified of

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Speaker 1: catching something. I was hoping he'd lean in for a

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Speaker 1: kiss and I'd send him on my way. I think

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Speaker 1: this is maybe a sign that the relationship isn't working,

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Speaker 1: if like this is what you're hoping for. Nothing happened,

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Speaker 1: but we did realize Bill, a thirty five male regular

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Speaker 1: at the bar, was hanging out by my friend's apartment.

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Speaker 1: Bill is a huge gossiper and kind of weird and

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Speaker 1: does not leave in this direction on a normal night.

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Speaker 1: So I offered austin the couch at Mary's place. I

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Speaker 1: take my friend's bed, and I explained to Mary in

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Speaker 1: the morning. That's when I heard stomping up the stairs

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Speaker 1: and realized I hadn't been on my phone all night.

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Speaker 1: Bill found my fiance on Facebook and told Cody we

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Speaker 1: were basically getting it on while we were playing pool.

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Speaker 2: Not true.

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Speaker 1: My phone is always on silence, so I didn't hear

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Speaker 1: him call. This also does look ope. I'm not gonna lie.

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Speaker 1: This looks really really bad.

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Speaker 4: It doesn't look good.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't look good. Cody called Marie and told her

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Speaker 1: to check on me, and she stopped her way in,

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Speaker 1: saw Austin on the couch and looked as if she

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Speaker 1: was going to murder me. I explained, nothing happened, and

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Speaker 1: he's just crashing after walking me there, if that's okay.

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Speaker 1: As I looked into her desk stair, I realized ift up.

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Speaker 1: She kicked Austin into the curb and called Cody to

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Speaker 1: tell him I was with a random guy in her

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Speaker 1: house and he needs to pick me up. Marie went

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Speaker 1: back to work and Cody arrived shortly. I sat him

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Speaker 1: down on the couch and in my half drunk state ride,

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Speaker 1: explaining my actions as I described above, he started crying

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Speaker 1: and said he wouldn't know how to survive without me.

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Speaker 1: I'm slightly afraid he'd do something rash if we break up. Well,

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Speaker 1: because I mean they've been together since they were super young,

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Speaker 1: so I mean like they don't even know life without

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Speaker 1: each other.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a really big deal. It's like it's like Loki,

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Speaker 4: they were.

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Speaker 1: Like married, yeah, and they were going through You go

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Speaker 1: through so many different life stages when you're that young,

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Speaker 1: and they've been through all of that together and so

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Speaker 1: they're like, you're really bonded at that point. You know,

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Speaker 1: I feel like the spark is dead and I need

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Speaker 1: to either confirm or deny the feeling that there might

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Speaker 1: be better for me out there. And if you're feeling

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Speaker 1: that that might be true, I want to either eliminate

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Speaker 1: the curiosity of dating around or realize I still love

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Speaker 1: him and maybe pursue couples counseling. I mean, the option

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Speaker 1: also is you take a break and there's a little

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Speaker 1: bit more to the story, But like you've been together

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Speaker 1: for so long so early, I think it's normal to think, like, oh,

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Speaker 1: like what else is out there too? Like I think

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Speaker 1: you could take a break and explore other options and

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Speaker 1: then come back after if you decide that is what

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Speaker 1: you want.

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Speaker 3: But rather, what do you think, have you taken a

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Speaker 3: break before and then gotten back with that person?

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Speaker 4: I have, really I let go.

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Speaker 2: I mean we're broken up now, But did.

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Speaker 3: You feel like the spark was gone you were like

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Speaker 3: we're gonna come back and then like leave and then

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Speaker 3: come back.

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Speaker 1: No, I didn't think the spark was gone. It was

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Speaker 1: more like just things weren't working out in the relationship,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, like we were just like it was

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Speaker 1: like like a bickering a lot, and like I needed space.

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Speaker 1: So it wasn't for the same reasons as op. But

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Speaker 1: I know of a friend who had never really been

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Speaker 1: in like a super long term relationship met his girlfriend

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Speaker 1: in college and he was like, Hey, before I can

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Speaker 1: fully commit to you, I really need to like see

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Speaker 1: what else is out there. And so I need like

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Speaker 1: six months just to like explore and then I think

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Speaker 1: after that I can really commit. And he did some

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Speaker 1: exploring and they are a very happy couple.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 3: Wow, I've just every time a girl's like we should

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Speaker 3: take a break, we never get back.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I mean sometimes it doesn't happen, but like that might

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Speaker 1: happen in this case. Yeah, but it seems like at

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Speaker 1: the very least, oh, he needs to take a break

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Speaker 1: if these kinds of feelings are coming up. There's a

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Speaker 1: few problems with taking a break or breaking up. Though

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Speaker 1: my car loan is partially in his name through his

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Speaker 1: bank due to my bank offering bad rates when I

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Speaker 1: was eighteen, in no credit, my military life insurance, death rights,

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Speaker 1: and last paycheck goes to him in case of death.

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Speaker 1: Worst case scenario, he kills me for insurance, it takes

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Speaker 1: my car. Not likely, I joke when stressed, but maybe

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Speaker 1: I should think about a lawyer. But before deciding, maybe,

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Speaker 1: And also, if you're worried about this, maybe Op is

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Speaker 1: the reason people have Op's boyfriend is the reason people

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Speaker 1: have been disappearing in this town. I'll be able to

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Speaker 1: pay off my car in a couple months with a

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Speaker 1: reenlistment bonus, but I still need to figure out how

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Speaker 1: to transfer it to myself. I love insight from others

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Speaker 1: in similar dead sparks, broken engagements, or first relationships being

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Speaker 1: long term. Thank you in advance, So if you guys

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Speaker 1: have been in any of these situations, please give Op

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Speaker 1: advice in the comments.

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Speaker 2: This is one of our own and there is an update.

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Speaker 1: So it's been about a week and this time let

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Speaker 1: me look back on how unhappy I've been in the

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Speaker 1: last year or so. I think my main doubts come

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Speaker 1: from not dating and meeting different people. I just jumped

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Speaker 1: in head first to my first relationship and thought if

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Speaker 1: I broke up, it failed, and I failed. I think

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Speaker 1: I need to give him the option of taking a

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Speaker 1: break or breaking up entirely so I can figure out

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Speaker 1: who I am on my own and what I want.

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Speaker 1: I plan to do it within the next couple of days,

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Speaker 1: and I'll keep you posted. Oh pee, please keep us posted.

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Speaker 1: If you're watching this right now, maybe write an update

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Speaker 1: in the comments. But wow, I mean this is a

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Speaker 1: big step. I feel like the fact that you're having

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Speaker 1: all these feelings probably elicits at least or needs at

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Speaker 1: least a break.

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Speaker 2: And I want to Riley. I want to know what

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Speaker 2: you think.

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Speaker 1: And I also want to talk about the tear jar

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Speaker 1: that you have because I want to see I haven't

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Speaker 1: seen this thing before.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, what do you think first.

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Speaker 4: I'll go grab it.

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Speaker 3: But I think if you're in the relationship and you

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Speaker 3: feel like you dived in head first and you're like,

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Speaker 3: if I failed this relationship, then I failed, then you're

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Speaker 3: not prioritizing yourself, for like it sounds like your world

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Speaker 3: is centered around their world and you if you're in

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Speaker 3: a relationship, you need to be like good with yourself

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Speaker 3: before you're with the other person because it makes it

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Speaker 3: makes both parties even better. So I think it is

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Speaker 3: smart that you are thinking about it, and you're like

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Speaker 3: thinking about like taking a step back. I think that's

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Speaker 3: very very wise of you two do that.

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Speaker 2: It will be hard, it will be hard. It will

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Speaker 2: be super hard.

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Speaker 1: I mean, like becoming independent and then interdependent is a

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Speaker 1: it's tough, but I think it is a necessary step,

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Speaker 1: Like you will be long term unhappier if you're dependent

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Speaker 1: on someone for your happiness. But speaking of happiness and sadness,

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Speaker 1: Riley told us on We Guess It on this other podcast,

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Speaker 1: and he told me that every time, well to tell

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Speaker 1: them to tell him, tell them about the tear jar.

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Speaker 3: So we were we were on pretty much done podcasts

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Speaker 3: with Julia shout Out and she was talking about women

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Speaker 3: manifesting like their partners and things like that, and they

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Speaker 3: were asking us.

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Speaker 4: Like if we as guys.

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Speaker 2: It was me, if guys do that?

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00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:43,720
Speaker 3: If guys do that? And I have like a little

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Speaker 3: look on my face and They're like, what do you got, Riley?

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Speaker 3: So I was like, one, uh, Like my parents would

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Speaker 3: pray for me to find someone, and then I told

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Speaker 3: them about this tear jar that I have and that

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Speaker 3: I write letters to.

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Speaker 4: Like my future wife.

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Speaker 2: So cute.

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Speaker 4: Sometimes I'll be like after a.

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Speaker 3: Breakup, I'll be sad and I'll like wriy and like

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Speaker 3: some tears would on it, or like if I'm thinking

353
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:02,800
Speaker 3: about them around, I'm a little post it note and

354
00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:04,920
Speaker 3: be like, hey, hope you're doing all right. I haven't

355
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,200
Speaker 3: wrote in a while actually because I've been kind of

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Speaker 3: like kind of like, oh.

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Speaker 5: Just does love really exists for me?

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Speaker 2: Yes? It does, Riley, What do you mean?

359
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Speaker 3: It's just I'm not like been in that like headspace,

360
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Speaker 3: right head space in a while.

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Speaker 2: It definitely does exist for you for sure.

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00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I've been kind of like I need to

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Speaker 3: like kind of work on myself first and then I

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00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:25,200
Speaker 3: can kind of like be thinking of that.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, I'll go, I'll go grab it. I'll let

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Speaker 4: you see it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm very excited. Yeah, h.

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Speaker 5: This is the jar.

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Speaker 1: That's so cute. I don't want to read it. I'm

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Speaker 1: not going to read it. It's too personal.

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Speaker 2: You can read it, but you can't, Okay, I.

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Speaker 4: Wonder what it is?

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Speaker 2: This is?

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Speaker 4: This is very deep, very deep stuff. Can you share

375
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:52,800
Speaker 4: the date on that? Did I write the date on it?

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Speaker 2: Seven nineteen?

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00:14:54,200 --> 00:15:09,360
Speaker 4: Oh wow? So I don't even know what that.

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Speaker 1: What it says, Riley is gonna make some woman very

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Speaker 1: happy one day. Maybe it's gonna be one of the

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Speaker 1: Okay family. But well, we love you, Riley loves you. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we love you, and we'll see you in the next episode.

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Speaker 1: See you soon.

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Speaker 2: This is an episode from Deep Within the Archives.

384
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Speaker 5: Time for okop rework. I'm having a baby girl, but

385
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:34,040
Speaker 5: my family demands a baby boy, so I want them

386
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Speaker 5: out of my life. Get them out of there, victim,

387
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:39,640
Speaker 5: put them on the streets. I mean, it's perfectly reasonable.

388
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Speaker 5: It's just like, hey, just just boom now it's a boy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it'll change it.

390
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Speaker 1: It's like a sea turtles, you know, like if it's warm,

391
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,880
Speaker 1: there's more boys. If it's cold, there's more girls there.

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Speaker 1: We go just warm up the to go to Florida.

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Speaker 5: I use my pregnancy power to just you know, shake

394
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Speaker 5: it up. One two diddally, do you now have a Diddley?

395
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Speaker 5: That's exactly how it works. I female. Twenty seven am

396
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Speaker 5: expecting my first baby with my husband. This is the

397
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Speaker 5: first grandchild in the family for my in laws, and

398
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Speaker 5: they said that if the baby's a boy, that they'll

399
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Speaker 5: give him my father in law's name. He passed away

400
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,960
Speaker 5: due to cancer. And I had no problem with that

401
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:19,320
Speaker 5: thought it was great. So you know what's sweet, Like, hey,

402
00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:22,600
Speaker 5: we'll give him the dad's name if it's a boy.

403
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:23,000
Speaker 2: Great.

404
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:26,360
Speaker 5: This happened before we found out the gender of the baby.

405
00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:32,880
Speaker 5: Don My husband and his family had me do things

406
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:37,160
Speaker 5: like attend prayers and do other rituals before the reveal

407
00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:40,520
Speaker 5: at the doctor's to get a boy to ensure it

408
00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:41,240
Speaker 5: was a boy.

409
00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:42,400
Speaker 2: Nice.

410
00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:45,240
Speaker 5: Yes, I didn't like it, but I went along with it,

411
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:47,800
Speaker 5: just to keep the peace. The doctor appointment came and

412
00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:52,800
Speaker 5: it turned out to be a girl. No, how dare

413
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:54,800
Speaker 5: you fetus? Girl? A penis?

414
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:55,160
Speaker 2: Now?

415
00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:58,600
Speaker 5: My husband cried in the.

416
00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:01,840
Speaker 2: Car, Oh, been such a baby.

417
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:03,680
Speaker 5: Right, It's like, let the feet is be the baby.

418
00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:07,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, we already got responsibility away from the You think.

419
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:10,000
Speaker 5: It'd be crying, like crying of sadness, like cry of joy?

420
00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:11,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, having a baby girl?

421
00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:14,040
Speaker 5: Come on? And then he turned off his phone to

422
00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:18,160
Speaker 5: hide from his family, but then he finally told them

423
00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:22,359
Speaker 5: his mom and the others made their frustrations and disappointment

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Speaker 5: very clear, which bothered me because my daughter deserves to

425
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Speaker 5: be celebrated.

426
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:30,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, facts, dude, But.

427
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Speaker 5: My family ghosted me for days until they finally started

428
00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:39,440
Speaker 5: coming over and visiting, constantly referring to my daughter as

429
00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:43,560
Speaker 5: my son, claiming the results were false, and basically pretending

430
00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:44,400
Speaker 5: it's a boy.

431
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:45,560
Speaker 2: So weird.

432
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Speaker 5: It's the Trump They're like trumping the election. We won

433
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:56,040
Speaker 5: this baby sender, you lose. It's false evidence.

434
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, fake news.

435
00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:03,880
Speaker 5: You believe doctors. They flushed the real results down the toilet.

436
00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:06,000
Speaker 2: Now.

437
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:09,840
Speaker 5: I had several fights with them after they refused to stop,

438
00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:12,520
Speaker 5: and my husband sided with them despite seeing how wrong

439
00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:15,800
Speaker 5: and unreasonable what they were doing was. We didn't speak

440
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:16,520
Speaker 5: for a while.

441
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:17,240
Speaker 2: Fair.

442
00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:20,240
Speaker 5: Yeah. Sister in law called to apologize, but then informed

443
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:22,439
Speaker 5: me that she arranged a baby shower for me. I

444
00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:26,119
Speaker 5: was so excited and happy, but when I arrived, I

445
00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:29,879
Speaker 5: saw blue balloons, blue cake, and the father in law's

446
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,159
Speaker 5: name in decorations around the place.

447
00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:39,439
Speaker 2: It was a trick, dude, that's so true.

448
00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:40,320
Speaker 5: Give it up.

449
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:41,560
Speaker 2: Oh.

450
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:44,399
Speaker 5: I was so confused. I had to sit down. Cistern

451
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:48,600
Speaker 5: law explained that they were still hoping the gender results

452
00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:52,760
Speaker 5: are false and that it's a boy. Dude, it's not false,

453
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:58,920
Speaker 5: stop god, but what if it is, though? Dude, imagine

454
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:01,800
Speaker 5: the baby's born and they're just like they just get

455
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,840
Speaker 5: like a prosthetic, like squidward nose and.

456
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:07,600
Speaker 2: Something, put on this strap on baby.

457
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:10,479
Speaker 5: Like now, man, they're like, all right, we'll forego our

458
00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:14,959
Speaker 5: conservative values to put a strap on baby, right. I

459
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:19,280
Speaker 5: looked at my husband and he agreed with her. The

460
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:24,120
Speaker 5: husband also is denying the results, no, and he was there.

461
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:25,520
Speaker 2: My god.

462
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:28,040
Speaker 5: I lost my temper and yelled at all of them,

463
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:31,000
Speaker 5: calling them delusional and telling them to stop treating my

464
00:19:31,119 --> 00:19:34,399
Speaker 5: daughter like she's unwanted and act like she doesn't exist

465
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,880
Speaker 5: by throwing a party for their imaginary grandson. The mother

466
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:41,000
Speaker 5: in law broke down crying. I took my bag and.

467
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:44,040
Speaker 2: I left good. I mean, you don't need to freaking

468
00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:45,200
Speaker 2: go through this abuse too.

469
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:48,639
Speaker 5: No, not at all. They started yelling, and my husband

470
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:52,560
Speaker 5: followed me outside and started arguing about how I insulted

471
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:56,000
Speaker 5: his family and his dad's memory by acting like that.

472
00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,960
Speaker 2: Why I really want to know what the dad's name is?

473
00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:04,439
Speaker 5: Seriously, I told him to wake up and see the

474
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:08,320
Speaker 5: insanity in his family's behavior. He said they needed time

475
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:11,080
Speaker 5: to process the fact that it's a girl, not a boy,

476
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:15,199
Speaker 5: as they inspected, and insisted I play along and that

477
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:20,959
Speaker 5: they'll soon get over it. I said absolutely not, and

478
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:24,200
Speaker 5: demanded that he take me home, to which he said no,

479
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:26,840
Speaker 5: so I called an uber and left. He wouldn't even

480
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:30,120
Speaker 5: drive her home. Good god, this is your wife, carry

481
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:34,120
Speaker 5: your child. He was fuming, and he called fifteen times,

482
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,920
Speaker 5: and then he just texted me saying that he won't

483
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:40,280
Speaker 5: be coming home till I get my ass over here

484
00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:44,400
Speaker 5: and apologize for ruining everything they've done for me and

485
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:47,040
Speaker 5: accusing them of being mentally unstable.

486
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:50,200
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I don't get how you have these

487
00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:53,480
Speaker 1: relationships and you don't see the red flags before this moment, like.

488
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:56,439
Speaker 5: The whole family, like the hat they're had to be

489
00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:59,600
Speaker 5: sigh to be sighed. This is crazy. I haven't responded yet.

490
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:02,800
Speaker 5: He's constantly pressuring me to get right with his family

491
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:05,879
Speaker 5: before we even talk about anything else.

492
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:10,760
Speaker 1: Divorce, divorce, what way, it's always divorced? Yes, all right,

493
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,720
Speaker 1: Well I think it is a couple of things. It's

494
00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:15,240
Speaker 1: just it's so fucked up. That certain families are like

495
00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:17,800
Speaker 1: we have to have a male heir or like a son.

496
00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:20,920
Speaker 1: It's I feel like it's it makes women feel unwanted

497
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,120
Speaker 1: or like the babies feel and wanted. But two can't

498
00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:25,199
Speaker 1: they just have like another baby? Like why does this

499
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:26,440
Speaker 1: have to be the end all be all?

500
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:29,280
Speaker 5: And it's like and no one even proposed like, oh,

501
00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:31,560
Speaker 5: maybe we could just either give the name or maybe

502
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:33,600
Speaker 5: if it's like I don't know, a female version of

503
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:35,119
Speaker 5: the name, if that's what they really want to do,

504
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:36,880
Speaker 5: Like there's there's there's options.

505
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:40,119
Speaker 1: There's so many options, and like delusion doesn't have to

506
00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:43,520
Speaker 1: be one of them. It's these kinds of family dynamics

507
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:46,040
Speaker 1: where it's like, okay, like even if your husband is great,

508
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:48,400
Speaker 1: you marry, you marry into the family, and if your

509
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:52,760
Speaker 1: husband is not on your side, you are dealing with

510
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:54,719
Speaker 1: all the baggage that is coming with them.

511
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:56,960
Speaker 5: You're screwed. Yeah, who else do you have left the

512
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 5: whole family, including your husband?

513
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:00,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, you're you're you get wrecked.

514
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:03,040
Speaker 1: Yeah I had I dated a girl that had a

515
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:05,960
Speaker 1: crazy family and was not fun at all.

516
00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:08,760
Speaker 2: It was terrible, terrible, did.

517
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:11,480
Speaker 5: Like did would you like go over like get in fights.

518
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:14,520
Speaker 1: Or like, dude, this is the dumbest thing ever. So

519
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:16,879
Speaker 1: and this is like things had happened before, but I

520
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:20,360
Speaker 1: went to I went camping with my girlfriend, right, and

521
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:23,040
Speaker 1: we post a picture of like a tent on a

522
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:25,280
Speaker 1: mountain top and just like us in front of it.

523
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:27,959
Speaker 1: We're like, you know, we're wearing hiking our year. We're like,

524
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:32,520
Speaker 1: we're camping, right. I get comments from her family saying

525
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:34,840
Speaker 1: take this down, take this down right. I'm like, wait,

526
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:38,840
Speaker 1: what the heck, what's going on? And then her dad

527
00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:43,240
Speaker 1: and her mom are like, how dare you flaunt you're

528
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:46,719
Speaker 1: having sex with our daughter. We know what your dirty

529
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:50,240
Speaker 1: things you're doing in that tent. Delete this now. And

530
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:55,120
Speaker 1: I'm like, bro, what We're fucking going camping and you're

531
00:22:55,200 --> 00:23:00,000
Speaker 1: being like crazy to be absolutely crazy, and that would

532
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,320
Speaker 1: not the first time, but like and then the dad

533
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:04,879
Speaker 1: was like, I'm gonna punch that punk's head and like

534
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:07,760
Speaker 1: and I'm like, bro, you just went freaking camping.

535
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,719
Speaker 5: The question is, though, did you hit it?

536
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:13,800
Speaker 1: Oh, of course we hit it inside and outside the tent,

537
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:17,280
Speaker 1: but we're not making like only bands content out here.

538
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:19,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, this is a.

539
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:19,840
Speaker 2: Picture of it.

540
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:21,359
Speaker 5: Look at this hot piece of.

541
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:23,440
Speaker 2: It in the tent.

542
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,720
Speaker 5: You think this tent is pitched, wait until you see

543
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:28,159
Speaker 5: the other Tentive, bitched,