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Speaker 1: This is John.

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Speaker 2: This is your og Okay Storytime podcast hosts, and.

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Speaker 1: We have some rocking stories for you coming up.

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Speaker 3: But before you rock out with your socks out, I

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Speaker 3: got a quick tune in an ad break from a

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Speaker 3: sponsors keeping the show rocking and rolling.

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Speaker 4: My roommate is a messy and disrespectful I want to

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Speaker 4: kick her out.

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Speaker 2: See.

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Speaker 4: I female twenty lived with three other girls in a

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Speaker 4: college house and it's not going well. We all met

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Speaker 4: freshman year of college and recently decided to move into

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Speaker 4: a house together for this upcoming academic year. And always

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Speaker 4: starts like that. By the way, this comes from Global

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Speaker 4: Conclusion ninety two on the r slash Okay Storytime suburd.

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Speaker 4: When we moved in, we all agreed on some ground

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Speaker 4: rules that we felt would be easy to abide to

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Speaker 4: keep the main living areas, such as the living room

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Speaker 4: and kitchen picked up, be communicative on problems with our

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Speaker 4: living situation, and don't start any unnecessary drama with housemates.

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Speaker 5: It sounds so simple, doesn't it. Face It sounds so easy, right,

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Speaker 5: I have rules.

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Speaker 4: No one's gonna break the ever, that's.

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Speaker 1: Why they're there. It can't be broken.

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Speaker 4: It's illegal. Typical things we thought that were pretty standard rules.

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Speaker 4: When we all got moved in and settled, we started

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Speaker 4: to notice how one girl, in particular, female nineteen, would

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Speaker 4: behave and treat us. She had a tendency before to

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Speaker 4: be pretty snappy and short, but nothing we had first

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Speaker 4: hand been experiencing with her ourselves. Now it seemed like

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Speaker 4: she had a problem with someone in the house about something. Constantly.

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Speaker 4: We brushed it off, feeling like it would pass, after all,

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Speaker 4: we were just settling into living with each other. However,

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Speaker 4: this never eased up. Soon this roommate was leaving dirty

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Speaker 4: dishes and rotting food all over the house. The counters

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Speaker 4: were always dirty, her trash piling high and any court

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Speaker 4: of the house, and potent rotting smell that started attracting

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Speaker 4: a variety of ants and spiders My nightmare.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she's just an entomologist.

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Speaker 4: She wants all of the bugs to come to her.

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Speaker 2: She's leaving little snacks for her bug friends.

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Speaker 4: We decided to gently remind in the group chat, Hey,

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Speaker 4: whoever's dirty dishes that are on the counter, can please

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Speaker 4: get them cleaned up for cooking space tonight. Thank you.

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Speaker 4: I don't know who it is, but whoever's leaving it,

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Speaker 4: we could just move it.

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Speaker 5: I like the group chat is the new version of

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Speaker 5: like leaving a note on the fridge. Now this is

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Speaker 5: not to anyone in particular, but you know who you are.

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Speaker 4: They were never direct, but we always knew whose they were.

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Speaker 4: Soon enough, we were cleaning her mass number of dishes,

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Speaker 4: throwing away her food, et cetera. She refused to help

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Speaker 4: around the house. We finally decided to bring this up

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Speaker 4: to her that she needed to be doing her part.

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Speaker 4: We agreed on it. When we said we would all

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Speaker 4: move in together and she needed to hold up her

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Speaker 4: end of the agreement. She immediately got upset, claiming we

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Speaker 4: were attacking her when we decided to address this in person.

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Speaker 4: This wasn't the first time we have heard a statement

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Speaker 4: like this. Whenever she came home from work, it was

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Speaker 4: my boss was attacking me or our landlord was screaming

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Speaker 4: at me. Today, we decided this was a pointless fight

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Speaker 4: where we were talking to a brick wall. So life

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Speaker 4: carried on. We decided to start taking pictures of this

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Speaker 4: mess in fear that our landlord will blame this all

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Speaker 4: on us and the other three of us will lose

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Speaker 4: our deposit. The other three of us excluding female nineteen

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Speaker 4: decided to take a step back and start to reevaluate

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Speaker 4: when this attitude and behavior started up, I thought back

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Speaker 4: to when I was having a hard time with a

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Speaker 4: falling out with the situationship of mine. She always had

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Speaker 4: to say how she couldn't stand this man. She had

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Speaker 4: never spoken to him. We were pretty private about it.

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Speaker 4: My roommates knew of him and saw pictures of him,

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Speaker 4: and that was it, and she said that he was ugly.

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Speaker 4: I chalked this up to personal preference. A couple months later,

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Speaker 4: we were in my dorm room alone one night and

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Speaker 4: she bluntly, out of nowhere, said how she added him

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Speaker 4: after we fell out.

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Speaker 5: I think maybe that she's about to get dumped by

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Speaker 5: the same situationship that OP got dumped by. But also

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Speaker 5: shout out to all the people like holding onto a

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Speaker 5: situationship that's.

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Speaker 1: Rough, it hurts.

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Speaker 4: Let go of that, guys, Oh one tell you that

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Speaker 4: you have to settle for nothing. This girl that always

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Speaker 4: gave me grief about him added him after our falling out.

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Speaker 4: I told her she should leave for the night before

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Speaker 4: I said or did something. She was like, don't you

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Speaker 4: dare talk to my situationship.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's my situation show anyone.

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Speaker 4: Else can have any sort of situation with him. I

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Speaker 4: was fuming at the fact. The only thing that eased

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Speaker 4: my mind was when she tried snapping him. He removed

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Speaker 4: her immediately. I brought this up to the other roommates

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Speaker 4: and they had similar situations with her men they would

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Speaker 4: be talking to, she would suddenly add and be flirting

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Speaker 4: with and attempting to send spicy pigs to. We felt

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Speaker 4: like this was crossing multiple lines, not respecting us or

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Speaker 4: who we were talking to. This is where the start

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Speaker 4: of the disrespect would stem from. A month passes and

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Speaker 4: things don't get any better. The other three of us

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Speaker 4: are starting to get heavily into our classes and working

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Speaker 4: our part time jobs. Some of us two of these,

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Speaker 4: it wasn't unusual for us to come home tired all

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Speaker 4: the time and want to just go to bed for

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Speaker 4: the night. This was something that could never happen. Every

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Speaker 4: night she would bang kitchen cab and it's slam doors,

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Speaker 4: or just stomp around the house all the time from

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Speaker 4: eleven PM to four am. I'd go crazy.

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Speaker 5: So she's loud, dirty, and she's trying to steal all

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Speaker 5: their men. Yes, get her out yes, she sounds like

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Speaker 5: a rap position.

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Speaker 4: She's a raccoon. She's a man stealing raccoon.

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Speaker 5: He's a man stealing out a year, he was digging

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Speaker 5: through the trash in the middle of the night.

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Speaker 4: None of us were getting any sleep, three to five

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Speaker 4: hours a night average. Our patients was starting to run

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Speaker 4: extremely thin. The phone calls weren't any better. She was

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Speaker 4: always on the phone with her mom, and you could

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Speaker 4: overhear every conversation, negative about anything and everything, and multiple

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Speaker 4: phone calls bad mouthing us as people.

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Speaker 5: Her roommate, Your roommates, that can hear that you that's

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Speaker 5: crazy wild?

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Speaker 4: We could always hear them. Soon, these habits rolled into

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Speaker 4: the day and she's slamming cabinets, doors, huffing and making

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Speaker 4: us feel bad about how her life has inconvenience because

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Speaker 4: she had to direct a call work. We have multiple

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Speaker 4: broken hinges on doors and cabinets. We've had to have

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Speaker 4: our landlord fixed because of this. How hard is she says.

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Speaker 1: Slamming me?

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Speaker 5: Ah, it shakes the foundation of the house when she

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Speaker 5: slams these doors.

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Speaker 4: We bring this up to her. Finally, same story, we're

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Speaker 4: just attacking her. Finally, I boil over one weekend, after

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Speaker 4: nearly two months of multiple classes, working two part time jobs,

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Speaker 4: and getting hardly any sleep. At the end of the day,

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Speaker 4: I snapped. I had gotten home from a long shift

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Speaker 4: twelve am when I got a text from female nineteen

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Speaker 4: roommate that I can't park in my usual spot without

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Speaker 4: having a flat tire in the morning from her making

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Speaker 4: a mess in my parking spot. I told her, no

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Speaker 4: harm done as long as it got cleaned the next day,

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Speaker 4: when I would be working the equivalent of a twelve

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Speaker 4: hour shift between both jobs. The next morning. It was

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Speaker 4: a long day of work where I had no downtime,

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Speaker 4: to the point where I was changing my work uniform

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Speaker 4: in my car and a parking lot so I could

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Speaker 4: be on time for the next job shift I worked.

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Speaker 4: I was purely living off of energy drains to stay awake.

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Speaker 4: Oof that's row. I finally got home that night, once

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Speaker 4: again at twelve am, exhausted. Surprise, surprise, my parking spot

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Speaker 4: still wasn't cleaned up. What was in the parking spot?

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Speaker 1: Liked she did?

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Speaker 5: She spill a box of screws and nails behind her.

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Speaker 4: Glass bottle and was like, well, that's that's that. I guess.

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Speaker 2: I guess that broken glass is going to stay there forever.

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Speaker 4: I shot a text along the lines of what the

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Speaker 4: heck didn't you say you were going to clean that

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Speaker 4: up today? The only reply was that she was busy

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Speaker 4: sleeping all day whatever. I showered and went to bed.

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Speaker 4: Everyone was out clubbing, so the house was quiet. Two

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Speaker 4: am rolled around and I was woken up with slamming

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Speaker 4: and stumbling in the kitchen. I went to investigate, and

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Speaker 4: I saw my one roommate helping a guy drink water

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Speaker 4: and try to sober up as he threw up in

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Speaker 4: the kitchen. What surprised me more, though, was Female nineteen

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Speaker 4: sitting rubbing the stranger's shin, comforting him. She was never

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Speaker 4: in all the years we've known her helpful after we

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Speaker 4: had about night and we're bombiting, but we always had

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Speaker 4: to help her. If I wasn't already upset enough at

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Speaker 4: the fact I was woken up at two am, this

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Speaker 4: was definitely helping sour my mood. I sat quietly in

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Speaker 4: the kitchen, observing, just to make sure this guy didn't

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Speaker 4: need a hospital or something. Female nineteen was talking and

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Speaker 4: I honestly was not paying attention. Soon I hear her

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Speaker 4: go I feel like you're not thrilled with me. I answered, honestly, no,

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Speaker 4: I'm not thrilled with you, in what I felt a

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Speaker 4: dull entire tone. She then went, well, you don't need

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Speaker 4: to be yelling at me, I snapped, how many times

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Speaker 4: have I heard this sentence when I'm trying to explain

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Speaker 4: something about my comfortability to her? How many times does

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Speaker 4: she not let us speak her feelings because we're yelling

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Speaker 4: or attacking her? So I finally decided to show her

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Speaker 4: how I actually yell and can rip. But excuse this

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Speaker 4: next part for reciting my colorful language. A small background

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Speaker 4: on me. My family has loud, booming voices on one

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Speaker 4: side when a member gets upset and starts to yell.

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Speaker 4: I inherited this, and she was going to know it.

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Speaker 4: I started yelling at her how she's a piece of

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Speaker 4: crap roommate and friend. I was tired of accommodating and

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Speaker 4: babing her when us other roommates got nothing in return

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Speaker 4: from her. She turns her head away, annoying me even further.

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Speaker 4: I went on yelling more in depth about how I

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Speaker 4: and why I couldn't stand her anymore. At one point,

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Speaker 4: my roommate says we can discuss it in the morning

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Speaker 4: and she'll handle the guys. We go to bed. I'm

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Speaker 4: leaving the kitchen and I can hear her mumble something

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Speaker 4: about me being a certain name under her breath. I

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Speaker 4: stormed back in and told her what I actually say

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Speaker 4: that to my face and act tough. What do you

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Speaker 4: want us to go outside and I can kick your bite?

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Speaker 4: Let's go once again. My other roommate said not worth

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Speaker 4: it and I needed to go to my room. She

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Speaker 4: was right, and I did. As I was walking away,

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Speaker 4: I heard female nineteen trying to talk to the other

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Speaker 4: roommate and say how she didn't deserve to be treated

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Speaker 4: like that. When my other roommate piped up and spoke,

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Speaker 4: just effing move out. Then, honestly loved hearing that. Felt

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Speaker 4: like I wasn't alone, even though I definitely overreacted, but

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Speaker 4: it would never be an overreac action. For you to

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Speaker 4: join us live every weekday on YouTube at three PMPs two,

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Speaker 4: you just tap our profile.

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Speaker 2: This is very typical.

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Speaker 5: If I feel like an early sort of roommate experience,

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Speaker 5: like everyone has had, like a nightmare roommate, and if

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Speaker 5: you haven't, I hate to tell you that might mean

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Speaker 5: that you were the nightmare roommate.

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Speaker 6: Ooh.

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Speaker 5: I think the what's telling is that she was like,

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Speaker 5: you don't have to yell at me, and then OP

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Speaker 5: is like, oh, you want to you want to see yelling? Okay,

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Speaker 5: we'll do some yelling now, Like now you want you

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Speaker 5: want to actually get yelled at.

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Speaker 1: Here's what that feels like.

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Speaker 5: So yeah, it feels like that this roommate was just

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Speaker 5: like not accountable for anything she ever did, and if

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Speaker 5: anyone ever pushed her on anything, she just like immediately

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Speaker 5: responded by being like, what you're being mean to me

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Speaker 5: and you're yelling at me?

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Speaker 2: And I do not deserve that.

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Speaker 4: I think OP was, you know, pushed to her limits,

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Speaker 4: and if this is the only way to get this

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Speaker 4: girl out of their apartment, maybe maybe it needn't happen.

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Speaker 4: We talked this out later, apologizing for our actions with her,

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Speaker 4: mostly making excuses on her habits and behavior, followed with

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Speaker 4: empty promises to improve. It's still hasn't and I want

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Speaker 4: nothing more than her to just get so pissed off

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Speaker 4: she moves out. I think my other two roommates think

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Speaker 4: this as well, as they all have similar situations with her.

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Speaker 4: Am I the a hole for my reactions and actions.

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Speaker 4: If not, what is a better way to get our

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Speaker 4: house civilized and functioning. Sorry, this is all probably poorly written,

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Speaker 4: but we need some type of help or advice.

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Speaker 5: I think if you would have gone outside and like

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Speaker 5: had a fist fight with her, maybe that would make

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Speaker 5: you the a hole a little bit. It's a hard

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Speaker 5: thing to have these kind of discussions with people absolute

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Speaker 5: and keep it respectable, especially at that age when they're like,

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Speaker 5: what nineteen.

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Speaker 4: And just not listen, Like you've brought it up so

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Speaker 4: many times, yeah, and nothing has changed.

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Speaker 5: It feels like it got to the point where it

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Speaker 5: was like there was no other way to convey to

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Speaker 5: the roommate just how upset everyone was and how.

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Speaker 2: Lacking she was in the responsibility department.

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Speaker 4: Like sometimes there has to be the a hole, Like

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Speaker 4: someone's in the group has to be the ale because

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Speaker 4: no one wants to confront the problem for and so

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Speaker 4: if he's like you know what, ah, it's two am.

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Speaker 5: On doing it, it's just being direct, Like there's there's

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Speaker 5: I feel like oftentimes there's this equivalency of like being

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Speaker 5: an a hole and just like being straight up with somebody.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, honestly, I don't even know if the yelling will

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Speaker 4: work with her. It might just be a situation where

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Speaker 4: she just has to you have to move out.

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Speaker 5: My roommate is furious that I offered food to his girlfriend,

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Speaker 5: so I told him to move out.

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Speaker 4: If he's complaining about your kindness, that he has to go.

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Speaker 5: I twenty one male, am from the South. I grew

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Speaker 5: up in New Orleans and Texas. My mom runs a

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Speaker 5: catering business, and the majority of clients were either at

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Speaker 5: home in Louisiana or in Texas. I had this to

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Speaker 5: say that I grew up cooking and helping my mom

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Speaker 5: cook for the business. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 5: user Darling Deer on the r slash Okay Storytime subbread.

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Speaker 5: I was frying chicken and catfish when I could reach

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Speaker 5: the stove, and making gumbo and buttermilk biscuits at a

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Speaker 5: very young age. I'm currently in culinary school right now.

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Speaker 5: Oh so this guy's like a guy who cooks. This

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Speaker 5: good guy because he loves it, and also he's got.

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Speaker 4: That kind of Southern culture of like presumably feeding people

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Speaker 4: and having that kid.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, he's I've been frying chicken since I could reach

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Speaker 5: that stove I've lived in a rented house on the

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Speaker 5: East Coast with my roommate twenty two mail for a

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Speaker 5: year and a half. He's not a friend or anything.

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Speaker 5: We just linked up because we both needed roommates in

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Speaker 5: the area. He's good to live with, and we watch

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Speaker 5: shows and movies together. We hang out and go for

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Speaker 5: drinks sometimes. I always make friends easy because of being

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Speaker 5: from the South and doing customer service related things since

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Speaker 5: I was a kid. I know how to talk and

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Speaker 5: I know how to charm and listen to folks, despite

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Speaker 5: being naturally more in the introverted spectrum. My roommate has

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Speaker 5: been seeing his girlfriend, twenty male for like six months.

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Speaker 5: I've met her before and seen her in passing. Roommate

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Speaker 5: and his girlfriend had a two week break from school things.

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Speaker 5: She still lives at her parents, so she decided to

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Speaker 5: stay here the whole two weeks. I was just doing

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Speaker 5: things as I would normally do. It got weird at

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Speaker 5: first when I was about to go mow the lawn

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Speaker 5: and the roommate stopped me and said he wanted to mow.

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Speaker 5: A couple of days later, I was outside washing my

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Speaker 5: car asked both of them if they wanted me to

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Speaker 5: do theirs. She looked like she was going to agree,

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Speaker 5: but he looked at her angrily, so they declined. I

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Speaker 5: cook pretty frequently at home as well, and usually let

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Speaker 5: my roommates have some, So anytime i'd make some, I

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Speaker 5: would say that they could have some, and this would

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Speaker 5: get him pissed. Weeks prior, when she was here and

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Speaker 5: we were all talking, she mentioned this specific kind of

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Speaker 5: cheesecake that she really likes, so I made and sent

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Speaker 5: out a group text that everyone could have it.

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Speaker 2: My roommate got upset.

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Speaker 4: This is like another level of jealousy where someone's literally

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Speaker 4: just making food for people and you're like, yeah, you

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Speaker 4: can't do that. I'm trying to steal my girlfriend.

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Speaker 2: How dare you make sustenance something my girlfriend?

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Speaker 4: She's gonna realize that you're so much better than me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, what are you trying to do? Steal her way

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Speaker 2: with your delicious treats?

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Speaker 5: Did you ever think that maybe you should be making treats?

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Speaker 5: I don't see this as overstepping a boundary, as this

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Speaker 5: is how I treat him in all of our guests.

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Speaker 5: The other day, he told me how annoying it was

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Speaker 5: to hear his girlfriend talk about how good your roommate's

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Speaker 5: fresh baked bread.

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Speaker 2: It you need to be his sous chef.

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Speaker 4: Come on, he'll probably teach you.

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Speaker 5: Op is just a nice Southern gentleman. I'm not trying

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Speaker 5: to make him look bad or anything. This is simply

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Speaker 5: how I was raised. If I bake two loaves of bread,

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Speaker 5: I'm gonna leave it out for.

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Speaker 1: The house to eat.

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Speaker 5: And we got a couple edits here. The cheesecake is

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Speaker 5: just a common courtesy type of thing to me. When

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00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:21,600
Speaker 5: his parents came over, I made pound cake because they

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Speaker 5: like it. If a guest is coming, you get or

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Speaker 5: make what they like. Nothing odd about picking up their

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Speaker 5: favorite chips or making some tea when guests arrived.

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Speaker 2: That's just how I was raised.

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Speaker 4: I love this guy.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, hey, that's just how he was made Southern hospital.

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Speaker 4: That's how they.

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Speaker 2: Made me down there in the South.

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Speaker 5: While this is blown up, just want to say that

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Speaker 5: we generally have a good roommate relationship. We're not best friends,

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Speaker 5: but it's been friendly enough. The only change has been

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Speaker 5: when his girlfriend is here. So no, I'm not looking

351
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Speaker 5: for new roommates or to be adopted or to move.

352
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Speaker 5: But thanks. Here are some more things that upset him.

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Speaker 5: I went to the grocery store and asked if anyone

354
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Speaker 5: needed anything that upset him. Man, his roommate had, like

355
00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:04,080
Speaker 5: he's got to sort through some sea shoes. I was

356
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Speaker 5: frying chicken and offered the first slash best pieces out

357
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Speaker 5: of the oil to them.

358
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Speaker 4: Straight out the oil, straight out oil. Come on.

359
00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:15,040
Speaker 5: I changed the oil to my own car. I used

360
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Speaker 5: a smoker in the backyard to make brisket.

361
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Speaker 2: This guy just doesn't like your existence, Like, I don't.

362
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Speaker 4: Think you do have a good roommate relationship because you're

363
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Speaker 4: just talking about you're like cooking.

364
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Speaker 5: This guy's just seething with hatred for you. Does not

365
00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:30,000
Speaker 5: like you. All you're doing is changing the oil to

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Speaker 5: your car, making brisket.

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Speaker 4: I honestly think that this girlfriend is like, oh my god,

368
00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:36,320
Speaker 4: your reommate so nice, Like, oh my god, it's so

369
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Speaker 4: cool that your roomate can cook. And yeah, always changing

370
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Speaker 4: the oil himself. That's so like cool of him.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he's so industrious.

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Speaker 2: I hate Joe.

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Speaker 7: I hate that guy.

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Speaker 1: I wish I could change the oil to my car.

375
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Speaker 5: I grill and I smoke in the backyard and needed

376
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Speaker 5: a piece of wood cut in a certain way to

377
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Speaker 5: hold something up. A cut and I nailed some wood

378
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Speaker 5: together in the garage. Feels like I can't even exist

379
00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:00,360
Speaker 5: while she's here. I tend to see the good and

380
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,680
Speaker 5: the best in people, so I was not seeing him

381
00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:04,360
Speaker 5: as being very insecure and.

382
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,719
Speaker 2: Was trying to look at this in a more positive light.

383
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:09,040
Speaker 5: But he just texted me and said that I greet

384
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:11,840
Speaker 5: his girlfriend in too kind of a way, and it's

385
00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:15,520
Speaker 5: annoying that I say be safe when she leaves the house.

386
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:18,520
Speaker 5: I say this to him and everyone when they tell

387
00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:20,760
Speaker 5: me they are going somewhere. He sent me a long

388
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Speaker 5: text detailing that it's bad that I look her in

389
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Speaker 5: the eyes when she's.

390
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:25,679
Speaker 1: Talking to me.

391
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,960
Speaker 2: Maybe it's time I find a new roommate, I think.

392
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:32,080
Speaker 5: So. Yeah, there is an update after this, but let's

393
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:33,520
Speaker 5: let's kind of discuss here.

394
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:37,480
Speaker 4: I mean, it's obvious that this man is just seething

395
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Speaker 4: with jealousy about Opie. Probably the girlfriend is like, oh,

396
00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:43,080
Speaker 4: your roommate seems really nice.

397
00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:44,199
Speaker 2: He's just losing it.

398
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Speaker 1: Like he's got a book.

399
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Speaker 5: He's got like a like a manifesto book, like up

400
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,000
Speaker 5: in his room, or he's just like writing Opie's name,

401
00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:51,280
Speaker 5: like over and over again.

402
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:53,280
Speaker 1: Book just like scribbling.

403
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,160
Speaker 2: He's like, why can't I be like this guy?

404
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:56,600
Speaker 1: What's so good about this guy?

405
00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:59,840
Speaker 4: Elpie's just living his life. If you can get a

406
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Speaker 4: new roommate.

407
00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:03,160
Speaker 5: Definitely do I would suggest doing it before this guy

408
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:07,000
Speaker 5: goes completely off the rails, off the deep end. Actually,

409
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:09,040
Speaker 5: you know what, Op, you're actually just a monster for

410
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:12,280
Speaker 5: cooking fried chicken? How dare you and offering the best pieces?

411
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:13,080
Speaker 2: Who do you that you are?

412
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:14,440
Speaker 1: What do you want us to think? You're saying?

413
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:15,520
Speaker 4: What kind of world is this?

414
00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:17,159
Speaker 2: We know who you are. Here's the update.

415
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:20,160
Speaker 5: My account was suspended due to some kind of Reddit error,

416
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:22,800
Speaker 5: probably because I made a new throwaway and received a

417
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,080
Speaker 5: lot of attention. I messaged Reddit and the issue was

418
00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,840
Speaker 5: quickly resolved, So that's why the last post was removed.

419
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,640
Speaker 5: But it's back now. I'm not sure what the rules

420
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,480
Speaker 5: on updates are here. Thanks for all that very important information.

421
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:35,000
Speaker 5: A lot of people wanted an update, and I wanted

422
00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:36,960
Speaker 5: to see my roommate in a more positive light.

423
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:38,719
Speaker 2: I don't think there is a more positive Yeah, this

424
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:41,080
Speaker 2: guy's so nice. He's like, even though.

425
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:43,119
Speaker 4: You don't have to bash my roommate.

426
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:47,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, everybody's telling you that this guy is like certifiable,

427
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:51,160
Speaker 5: certifiable bad news and you're just like, no.

428
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,840
Speaker 2: Really, I feel like he could be good.

429
00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:55,680
Speaker 5: I tend to try to see the best in people,

430
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:58,479
Speaker 5: but reading the replies and his recent actions have opened

431
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Speaker 5: my eyes.

432
00:18:59,000 --> 00:18:59,520
Speaker 1: There we go.

433
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,879
Speaker 2: Took him too seriously because he's a pretty harmless little

434
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:04,159
Speaker 2: guy in my perspective.

435
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:08,360
Speaker 5: Oh my god, Now now he read this, he's definitely

436
00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:08,960
Speaker 5: gonna hate you.

437
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:09,280
Speaker 1: Now.

438
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:11,960
Speaker 5: There's a big difference in how he lashes out at

439
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,119
Speaker 5: me compared to his girlfriend.

440
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,040
Speaker 2: He's gotten big and tough with me in.

441
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:19,239
Speaker 5: Text format, but only mildly upset when I see him

442
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:21,760
Speaker 5: in person. Yet, because he's a coward, yeah, he's got

443
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:24,560
Speaker 5: Twitter fingers, not trigger fingers. I have taken a step

444
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:26,720
Speaker 5: back and looked at anything I could have done to

445
00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,440
Speaker 5: provoke him, not excusing his behavior. And while I don't

446
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:31,840
Speaker 5: believe I am in the wrong for being hospitable and

447
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,600
Speaker 5: hosting a guest, if a seventy five year old man

448
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:37,359
Speaker 5: was staying with us, I would treat him the same

449
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:39,960
Speaker 5: way I've been treating his girlfriend. I do realize that

450
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:42,040
Speaker 5: he is not from the South. I was told by

451
00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:44,320
Speaker 5: others in school that women outside of the South don't

452
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:47,520
Speaker 5: enjoy being called ma'am. However, I've never seen a lady

453
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,080
Speaker 5: get angry if I did call her ma'am up here,

454
00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:53,639
Speaker 5: I call woman of all ages, deer or darling, and

455
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:55,840
Speaker 5: I could see how that could be seen as flirtatious,

456
00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:57,879
Speaker 5: even though it's just a part of how I speak.

457
00:19:57,920 --> 00:20:01,480
Speaker 5: Now that he knows I've seen him in his true form,

458
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:03,840
Speaker 5: he doesn't even try to act the way he did before.

459
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:06,560
Speaker 5: I sent his girlfriend's screenshots of the text he's sent

460
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:08,320
Speaker 5: and told her the things that he said.

461
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:09,920
Speaker 2: Oh, now you pushed.

462
00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:11,679
Speaker 4: Him to the point. Now he's like he's messy.

463
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:12,160
Speaker 1: Now.

464
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,560
Speaker 5: He said, Hey, darling, I just want to let you

465
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:16,399
Speaker 5: know that this is what your man's been sending me

466
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:16,840
Speaker 5: on here.

467
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:18,600
Speaker 4: Well, you better watch it out.

468
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:20,240
Speaker 2: I just wanted to make sure that you knew the

469
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:21,560
Speaker 2: kind of man that you were dating.

470
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:23,280
Speaker 4: I don't mean to start nothing.

471
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:25,480
Speaker 2: I didn't want to start other ear but but.

472
00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:28,000
Speaker 4: He started first, and I'm not afraid to finish it.

473
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:30,639
Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel like you just deserve to know the truth, darling.

474
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:33,040
Speaker 5: I'm not sure if she is leaving or staying, but

475
00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:35,159
Speaker 5: I've let her know and told her to let me

476
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:37,080
Speaker 5: know if she needs any help. I don't plan on

477
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,600
Speaker 5: moving anytime soon as I enjoy having room for a

478
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:40,160
Speaker 5: grill and.

479
00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:41,480
Speaker 1: A smoker and a garage.

480
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:43,440
Speaker 5: He told me he's looking for new place to live

481
00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:46,399
Speaker 5: and will potentially go back to his parents. I make

482
00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:49,040
Speaker 5: enough working at a restaurant to afford the rent alone,

483
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,720
Speaker 5: but I would like more going into savings. But I'm

484
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:54,480
Speaker 5: not worried financially for the time being. For the time being,

485
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:58,200
Speaker 5: you can always join us live on YouTube at three

486
00:20:58,240 --> 00:20:59,000
Speaker 5: pm PST.

487
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:00,520
Speaker 2: Just tap part profile.

488
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,040
Speaker 4: I think it's all working out. That seems like oh

489
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:07,600
Speaker 4: P is breaking up the relationship yep, and that remain

490
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:08,280
Speaker 4: is moving out.

491
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:11,160
Speaker 5: So you know, I am flattered and overwhelmed by all

492
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:14,000
Speaker 5: the positive replies. About one hundred of you told me

493
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:16,400
Speaker 5: to thank my mom, so I sure will. I grew

494
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:19,560
Speaker 5: up working in hospitality with my mom and siblings. My

495
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:21,639
Speaker 5: dad is the one that instilled respect into me. He

496
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:24,840
Speaker 5: never felt emasculated, even when my mom's business ended up

497
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:27,200
Speaker 5: making more than he does. They just saved their money

498
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:29,640
Speaker 5: from all their jobs and they go on vacation a lot. Yeah,

499
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:31,040
Speaker 5: that sounds like the dream right there.

500
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:33,639
Speaker 4: You got you come from a great family. You're a

501
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:34,359
Speaker 4: great guys.

502
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:37,880
Speaker 5: Learn how to learn respect, learned hospitality Thank you mom

503
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,080
Speaker 5: and dad for raising a good one. Thank you for

504
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:44,040
Speaker 5: all the kindness and offers for the adoption slash jobs

505
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:46,720
Speaker 5: slash relationships slash friendships.

506
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:49,879
Speaker 2: Wow, Reddit was really supporting this guy through him.

507
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:52,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, they're like, please marry me.

508
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:56,040
Speaker 5: A lot of people wanted chicken and gumbo recipes too

509
00:21:56,119 --> 00:21:58,159
Speaker 5: much to type out, But I use curry potter and

510
00:21:58,200 --> 00:21:59,960
Speaker 5: a lot of things to give it some good flavor.

511
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:03,160
Speaker 5: That's how my mom does it. White pepper is essential

512
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:06,240
Speaker 5: for that good, good fried chicken flavor. And that is

513
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:08,720
Speaker 5: the end of that story. That's so just a little

514
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,520
Speaker 5: tip right there, right from the source. You gotta get

515
00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:14,359
Speaker 5: white pepper for that fried chicken taste.

516
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:18,480
Speaker 4: I refuse to adjust for my roommate's boyfriend's allergies.

517
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:21,480
Speaker 2: He doesn't even live here, he doesn't even go here.

518
00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:24,600
Speaker 4: I twenty four female, have been living with my roommate

519
00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:27,399
Speaker 4: Laila twenty five female for about ten months. We have

520
00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:29,640
Speaker 4: a two year lease, so I really want to fix

521
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:32,040
Speaker 4: this so we're not miserable for the next year. And

522
00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:34,920
Speaker 4: to start I need to see if I'm in the wrong.

523
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,640
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from expert Potatoes seven four

524
00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:39,920
Speaker 4: four seven on the r slash okay, storytime subredd it.

525
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:43,400
Speaker 4: Leila started dating Kyle about six months ago. Kyle has

526
00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:47,240
Speaker 4: severe food allergies to shellfish, nuts, and soy, as well

527
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:50,320
Speaker 4: as a lot of mild moderate allergies. I use nuts

528
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:53,520
Speaker 4: and soy a lot in my cooking and some occasional shrimp.

529
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:56,080
Speaker 4: At first, Laila would tell me that Kyle was coming over,

530
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,240
Speaker 4: and I would just adjust whatever I was planning on

531
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:02,760
Speaker 4: making if it was something that we be aerosolized, mostly nuts,

532
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:05,479
Speaker 4: and this was fine. He's never had any reactions at

533
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:08,760
Speaker 4: our apartment from my food, but it's slowly escalated, and

534
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,840
Speaker 4: now they want me to not keep any ingredient in

535
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:15,280
Speaker 4: the apartment that could cause him ana fleaxus, even if

536
00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:17,600
Speaker 4: I'm not actively eating or cooking it while he's over.

537
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:19,480
Speaker 2: That's back up.

538
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:22,760
Speaker 5: He doesn't live there, he doesn't even live there.

539
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:25,240
Speaker 4: It is a respect thing for ope to not cook

540
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:26,240
Speaker 4: it while he's there.

541
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:27,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that's.

542
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:29,240
Speaker 4: Just considerate, because you know, I wouldn't want to do

543
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:31,080
Speaker 4: that if someone was coming over it was allergic. But

544
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:33,879
Speaker 4: you can't say you can never have it in the house.

545
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:36,639
Speaker 2: You've been dating for six months too, It's not like

546
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:37,200
Speaker 2: you've been.

547
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:38,280
Speaker 1: Together for three years.

548
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:40,640
Speaker 2: And you're getting married, and this is the house you're

549
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:41,199
Speaker 2: gonna live in.

550
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,959
Speaker 4: I've refused, and they both pushed back a lot on it,

551
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,080
Speaker 4: and I snapped a little and told him I don't give.

552
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,240
Speaker 2: A f about his allar jump boom.

553
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:50,880
Speaker 4: I can accommodate him to an extent, but I don't

554
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:53,920
Speaker 4: care if the contents of my cabinet make him uncomfortable.

555
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:55,920
Speaker 4: He doesn't need to be near my things at all.

556
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:59,080
Speaker 4: They're being very dramatic and insisting I'm gonna unlive him

557
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:02,359
Speaker 4: with my selfish by having closed jars of nuts in

558
00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:04,760
Speaker 4: the kitchen I pay to use. But I'm not gonna

559
00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:07,800
Speaker 4: have my diet restricted by someone who doesn't even live here.

560
00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:10,040
Speaker 4: Leila isn't speaking to me at all right now, and

561
00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:12,360
Speaker 4: I feel a little bad now because I do understand

562
00:24:12,359 --> 00:24:14,880
Speaker 4: how serious allergies are. But I also think they're over

563
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:17,680
Speaker 4: extending boundaries by telling me what I can or can't

564
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,359
Speaker 4: eat when he's not even here. And there are some

565
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:22,160
Speaker 4: comments and an updates.

566
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:22,919
Speaker 1: Yeah you should.

567
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 5: You should tell them, like all this stuff that you

568
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:26,080
Speaker 5: don't want them to eat too.

569
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:28,200
Speaker 4: Yeah you're like, okay, well you can't eat that because

570
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:29,800
Speaker 4: I don't like the smell of it, yeah, and then

571
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:31,480
Speaker 4: me that they'll be like, you're not even allergic to it,

572
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:33,199
Speaker 4: and it's like it's not about that, it's about respect.

573
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:35,240
Speaker 5: It'd be different if he lived there, it would be differ,

574
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:37,920
Speaker 5: and it depends on I guess how severe his allergy

575
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:38,520
Speaker 5: really is.

576
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:40,479
Speaker 4: But it's like, well, he's never had a I mean,

577
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:42,880
Speaker 4: obviously you don't want him to ever have a reaction,

578
00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:45,520
Speaker 4: but so far he hasn't, and so it seems like

579
00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:47,119
Speaker 4: whatever you're doing right now is working.

580
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:50,000
Speaker 5: And it's like, honestly, if you really are that afraid

581
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:52,360
Speaker 5: keep the EpiPen on you when you come over, it's

582
00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:54,199
Speaker 5: like it's your decision to be hanging out in this

583
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:57,119
Speaker 5: place that you now considered to be like a biohazard

584
00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:57,640
Speaker 5: for you.

585
00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:00,359
Speaker 4: Like, it also would be different if Op was it

586
00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:03,359
Speaker 4: out Willy's over and cooking it, leaving it on the

587
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:05,840
Speaker 4: leaving peanut butter on the counters or whatever, which is

588
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:06,280
Speaker 4: just like.

589
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:08,560
Speaker 2: Stir frying shrimp right in his face, Like.

590
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:10,560
Speaker 1: Don't you does this smell good?

591
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, that would be totally different. But this is like

592
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:16,080
Speaker 4: it's literally Op cooking when he's not there in her

593
00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:18,840
Speaker 4: own home and the ingredients are stored in the cabinets

594
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:20,959
Speaker 4: that he's not, you know, supposed to be looking in anyway.

595
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:22,840
Speaker 5: So she should she should be like, if you guys

596
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:25,119
Speaker 5: want to buy my groceries, yeah, I'll do it if you.

597
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,080
Speaker 5: If you buy all my groceries for me, I'll cook

598
00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:29,360
Speaker 5: whatever you want. I'll stop eating whatever. But as long

599
00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 5: as I'm buying my own food, I'm gonna go ahead

600
00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:32,480
Speaker 5: and make whatever I.

601
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:33,879
Speaker 4: Want, to make whatever I want. But there are some

602
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:38,520
Speaker 4: comments Champagne for my real fr says, not the a hole.

603
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:41,640
Speaker 4: This is crazy. He doesn't even live there. If someone

604
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 4: has a severe allergy, it is their responsibility to manage that,

605
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:48,240
Speaker 4: not yours. A grocery store won't hide all their peanuts

606
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 4: when he walks in the door. I don't know why

607
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,640
Speaker 4: they think you should have to change anything. The fact

608
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:54,800
Speaker 4: that you would change your cooking is beyond nice in

609
00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:58,760
Speaker 4: my opinion. Usually people with sensitivities bring their own food

610
00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:01,200
Speaker 4: containers whatever they need to make it safe for them.

611
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:05,720
Speaker 4: And a live inkle says, does Kyle make anyone he

612
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:08,240
Speaker 4: visits get rid of all the same foods? Point being

613
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:10,480
Speaker 4: he is a visitor, he's not on the least paying

614
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:12,960
Speaker 4: the bill he gets. No, say they can go hang

615
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,439
Speaker 4: out at his place exactly. If they're so worried, they

616
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:17,119
Speaker 4: can go hang out of his place. And there is

617
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:19,800
Speaker 4: an update. I sat down with Laila a few days

618
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:22,800
Speaker 4: after my initial post and really talked with her about

619
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 4: why I felt her and Kyle's request was unacceptable, and

620
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:28,960
Speaker 4: I laid out my biggest concerns. I eat mostly plants,

621
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:31,760
Speaker 4: so nuts and soy are like fifty percent of my protein,

622
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:33,440
Speaker 4: which is what I was thinking. I assume she was

623
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:37,200
Speaker 4: maybe pescatarian. Yeah, so my grocery bill would increase because

624
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:39,920
Speaker 4: I'd have to make it up in animal products. Who's

625
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:42,240
Speaker 4: going to pay for that? I'm not vegetarian, but I

626
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:44,560
Speaker 4: don't really want to eat like that, and I definitely

627
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:46,800
Speaker 4: don't want to pay for it. So would they make

628
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:47,640
Speaker 4: up that increase?

629
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,960
Speaker 2: You want to buy my groceries than anything's on the table.

630
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,159
Speaker 4: I'm buying tofu right now, But if you want to

631
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,879
Speaker 4: spend twenty bucks on meat, sure go for it. I

632
00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:58,800
Speaker 4: honestly didn't trust them to stop there. I already did

633
00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:01,560
Speaker 4: what I felt was reasonable commodation and it wasn't enough.

634
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:05,000
Speaker 4: So how long till they take coconut eggs and tomatoes

635
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:05,200
Speaker 4: from me?

636
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:05,480
Speaker 6: Too?

637
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:07,359
Speaker 4: It was weird a aff to ask me in the

638
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:10,199
Speaker 4: first place, and I felt really disrespected because this is

639
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,919
Speaker 4: my home and I don't take second place to a guest.

640
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:15,560
Speaker 4: I can to her personally, of course, but that doesn't

641
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:17,960
Speaker 4: extend to the apartment. I said I would agree to

642
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:21,360
Speaker 4: continue not using his serious allergens when he was present

643
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:24,160
Speaker 4: or soon to be, and that was the line, which

644
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:24,800
Speaker 4: I think is fair.

645
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:28,240
Speaker 5: It's like, of course, OP doesn't want to send your

646
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 5: boyfriend to the hospital, but like, come on.

647
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:34,280
Speaker 4: You gotta be reasonable here. It didn't go over well

648
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:37,719
Speaker 4: at all, and Leila told me I was overreacting. Oh,

649
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:38,639
Speaker 4: pee's overreacting.

650
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:42,120
Speaker 5: Who is this girl to like be the arbiter of

651
00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:47,240
Speaker 5: like all People's like, yes, you're overreacting, not me, you crazy,

652
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 5: I'm allowed to say that, and kept.

653
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:51,960
Speaker 4: Talking over me when I tried to say that I

654
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,680
Speaker 4: wouldn't do it. Eventually, she slipped up with the well,

655
00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:56,879
Speaker 4: what if he moved in? And I said absolutely not

656
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,320
Speaker 4: and ended the conversation with her for the night. Yeah,

657
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:01,359
Speaker 4: which is also a crazy thing to ask. You can't

658
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:04,000
Speaker 4: just move your boyfriend in after six months when he's

659
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:05,760
Speaker 4: not on the lease. That's not how it works.

660
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:09,840
Speaker 5: That especially Yeah, you gotta that's approved. I mean, sure,

661
00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:11,359
Speaker 5: you can move him in, like even though he's not

662
00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:13,639
Speaker 5: on the lease, but everyone in the house has to approve.

663
00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:15,720
Speaker 1: Everyone on the lease.

664
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,119
Speaker 4: Needs to approve. It's happened, and it's not fun.

665
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:20,000
Speaker 5: And also, moving in with your boyfriend un for six

666
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 5: months is probably not a great idea.

667
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:25,520
Speaker 4: We argued in circles about it for nearly two weeks,

668
00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:27,439
Speaker 4: and once it was out, she didn't drop it. I

669
00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:29,480
Speaker 4: realized it wasn't going to get better, so I did

670
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:31,040
Speaker 4: what I didn't want to do and told her that

671
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:33,320
Speaker 4: I was going to the landlord about breaking my part

672
00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:35,960
Speaker 4: of the lease, and she freaked out. Wow. I don't

673
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:38,720
Speaker 4: know where Kyle's money goes, but apparently he doesn't have anything,

674
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:40,600
Speaker 4: because she was yelling about not being able to afford

675
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:42,840
Speaker 4: it on her own, and he couldn't help even if

676
00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 4: he moved in, so he was just gonna freeload if

677
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:45,360
Speaker 4: he lived in.

678
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:49,560
Speaker 5: Wait, you're like my freeloader boyfriend who can't be exposed

679
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:50,800
Speaker 5: to nuts or shell fish.

680
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:52,200
Speaker 2: She's moving in any but.

681
00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:53,600
Speaker 1: You can't buy it anymore.

682
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:56,760
Speaker 4: I told her that this had gone way too far

683
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:58,720
Speaker 4: and I didn't think I could be happy living here

684
00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:01,000
Speaker 4: with her anymore. If it were easier for her to

685
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:03,920
Speaker 4: leave instead, that would be fine too. She was really upset,

686
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:06,040
Speaker 4: and I said I wouldn't force her out or leave

687
00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:08,320
Speaker 4: her suddenly on the lease alone, but it was one

688
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:11,240
Speaker 4: or the other. Eventually she accepted and decided she would

689
00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:13,160
Speaker 4: move back in with her dad. That was the end

690
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 4: of April. She's fully moved out as of this week. Great,

691
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:18,640
Speaker 4: you know, works for you. But exactly what hope you

692
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:19,680
Speaker 4: didn't want to happen.

693
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:21,480
Speaker 2: Had to app Yeah, but it sounds yeah, exactly, it

694
00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 2: sounds like it had to.

695
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:24,480
Speaker 4: It did. There was no other I mean, she was

696
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 4: putting all these insane rules on you and not listening

697
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:28,720
Speaker 4: to you, so there really is no other solution there.

698
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:31,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, just kind of feels a little self absorbed.

699
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, but you know it's not self absorbed when you

700
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:36,680
Speaker 4: guys join us live every weekday at three PMPSD. Just

701
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:37,400
Speaker 4: tap her profile.

702
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:37,920
Speaker 1: That's right.

703
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:40,920
Speaker 4: My childhood best friend Ali has been flip flopping on

704
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:43,320
Speaker 4: moving to my city forever now, and me calling and

705
00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 4: saying I had a cheap, open bedroom if she came

706
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:48,640
Speaker 4: right away got her to finally pull the trigger on it.

707
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:49,160
Speaker 5: Boom.

708
00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:49,720
Speaker 4: We love that.

709
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:52,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're good job, go Alli.

710
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaker 4: And it helped layl out because she didn't have to

711
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:56,440
Speaker 4: pay to break the lease since I agreed to cover

712
00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:59,000
Speaker 4: the full rent at my own risk. Ali has stuff

713
00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:01,280
Speaker 4: to tie up in our home state still, but she's

714
00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:03,640
Speaker 4: already sent me half of July's frent. I just got

715
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:05,520
Speaker 4: a squeeze for a little while, but I'll make it.

716
00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:08,040
Speaker 4: I'm super excited to see her and show her around.

717
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:10,920
Speaker 4: Plus we've been cooking together since fourth grade, so that'll

718
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:13,120
Speaker 4: be a nice change. Yellow Well, they could finally cook

719
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:14,280
Speaker 4: third peanut butter shrimp.

720
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:16,400
Speaker 5: Yeah. I imagine she shows up and she's like, so,

721
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:20,560
Speaker 5: here's the restrictions. Yeah, she shows up and has the

722
00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:23,680
Speaker 5: same restrictions as Kyles.

723
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 4: And I can get a cat's congrats. Oh yeah, it's

724
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:28,520
Speaker 4: been a bit of a rough couple of months, but

725
00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:31,040
Speaker 4: I'm very happy with how things are looking right now.

726
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:33,440
Speaker 4: So I just wanted to share with you guys. And

727
00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:36,000
Speaker 4: that is the end of this story. You got rid

728
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,080
Speaker 4: of your bad roommate and you replaced it with your

729
00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:39,000
Speaker 4: friend who's cool.

730
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:40,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, and you can cook together with your friend who's

731
00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:44,040
Speaker 5: cool and can cook and is not you know, at

732
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:48,320
Speaker 5: the work of imminent hospitalization if you may smell a

733
00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:49,280
Speaker 5: shrimp apparently.

734
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:51,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't think OP is the a hole in

735
00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:52,680
Speaker 4: any stretch of the imagination.

736
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:55,120
Speaker 3: Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back to this episode.

737
00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:57,640
Speaker 3: But a quick three minute break with aswer more sponsors.

738
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:02,640
Speaker 4: My friend ruined my vacation and cost me five hundred dollars.

739
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:04,040
Speaker 4: I'm cutting him off.

740
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:05,840
Speaker 1: Cut him off right now.

741
00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:08,800
Speaker 4: I twenty four mail and my friend twenty four mail

742
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:12,000
Speaker 4: met about thirteen years ago at school. There were times

743
00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:14,240
Speaker 4: that we fell out of contact, but whenever we saw

744
00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:16,840
Speaker 4: each other again, it was like no time had passed

745
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:20,200
Speaker 4: at all. We were tight. Even though some unrelated stuff

746
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:23,320
Speaker 4: happened between us last year that is still challenging for

747
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:25,840
Speaker 4: me to deal with. I consider him my closest friend,

748
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:28,920
Speaker 4: and I'm pretty sure he reciprocates. You should find out

749
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:31,760
Speaker 4: by the way. This comes from scaly reptile thing on

750
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:34,880
Speaker 4: the r slashokey storytime suburd it. So recently I took

751
00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:36,600
Speaker 4: him on a vacation with me. I don't make a

752
00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:39,160
Speaker 4: lot of money and I'm reluctant to take time away

753
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:41,600
Speaker 4: from work, so I haven't taken a real vacation in

754
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:44,840
Speaker 4: a couple of years. I planned on visiting two places,

755
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:46,560
Speaker 4: and I took him with me to the first one.

756
00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:49,040
Speaker 4: The second time was in a remote location where I

757
00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:52,560
Speaker 4: planned to spend time in nature, hiking, reading, and writing.

758
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:54,520
Speaker 4: To be honest with you, that's the part of my

759
00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:57,239
Speaker 4: vacation I looked forward to the most. I had a

760
00:31:57,280 --> 00:32:00,360
Speaker 4: beautiful cabin booked right on the water. The cat was

761
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:03,840
Speaker 4: about five hundred dollars, which is relevant later how long

762
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:07,040
Speaker 4: was op there for? Because that's pretty good right on

763
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:09,120
Speaker 4: the water with a little cabins.

764
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 6: Get a little romantic, it's pretty nice. Yeah, I would

765
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:12,280
Speaker 6: love that my friend did that.

766
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:15,040
Speaker 4: I was like, hey, thank you. My friend. Derek also

767
00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:17,200
Speaker 4: doesn't have a lot of money. I've always taken a

768
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 4: lot of joy from being generous with what I have,

769
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:22,280
Speaker 4: so I had no problem paying for our lodging and

770
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:25,200
Speaker 4: travel expenses. A couple of months in advance of the trip,

771
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 4: I asked him to please bring money for his own

772
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:30,520
Speaker 4: food and souvenirs. That was all I asked him. I

773
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:33,960
Speaker 4: mentioned it again maybe a month before the trip. Both

774
00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:36,960
Speaker 4: times Derek agreed. I'm getting the feeling that maybe.

775
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:43,040
Speaker 6: I think doesn't through just you had one gole feed yourself.

776
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:45,800
Speaker 4: Derek come on feed us. When the time for the

777
00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:48,320
Speaker 4: trip came, we got on the road and headed out.

778
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:51,680
Speaker 4: Everything was fine until the next morning. At breakfast. I

779
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 4: had packed some food so that we could save money

780
00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:56,680
Speaker 4: not dining out literally every meal. Derek said he didn't

781
00:32:56,720 --> 00:32:58,320
Speaker 4: want to eat what I had brought because of how

782
00:32:58,360 --> 00:32:59,280
Speaker 4: it was packaged.

783
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:02,520
Speaker 2: What the packaging is, what's chanclastic?

784
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:04,960
Speaker 1: This is not good to a box.

785
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:07,680
Speaker 4: I found us a place to eat, and when we

786
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:11,680
Speaker 4: get there, surprise, he has no money. I mean, not

787
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:15,320
Speaker 4: one singular dollar. I was irked. I was operating on

788
00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:18,600
Speaker 4: a really strict budget for this trip, really tight. I

789
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:22,280
Speaker 4: had the money to enjoy myself, but not any excesses. Well,

790
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:25,720
Speaker 4: now my own budget was shrinking significantly because Derek didn't

791
00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:28,560
Speaker 4: do the one thing I asked him to do, pay

792
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:31,160
Speaker 4: for his own food for two days, and wouldn't eat

793
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:33,360
Speaker 4: what I already had with me. But I moved on

794
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:35,960
Speaker 4: quickly because I knew the experiences would be better in

795
00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 4: the long term than the things I could buy with money.

796
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 4: After breakfast, we went to one of the events that

797
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:42,600
Speaker 4: drew us to the area in the first place. There

798
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:45,400
Speaker 4: were a lot of food item vendors. I just wanted

799
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:47,800
Speaker 4: a T shirt and a funnel cake. Lol. I wound

800
00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:49,920
Speaker 4: up getting both of these, and I also got a

801
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:52,400
Speaker 4: shirt for Derek. You're too nice to Derek. Stop.

802
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:56,320
Speaker 1: Derek is like, to deserve it financial stuff? What of it?

803
00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:57,320
Speaker 1: What of it?

804
00:33:57,360 --> 00:33:59,640
Speaker 4: Well, he just pays for me, It's fine. At the event,

805
00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:03,680
Speaker 4: some things strange happened. Derek is usually pretty resistant to

806
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:05,920
Speaker 4: me spending money on him, but at the events he

807
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:08,920
Speaker 4: stopped at multiple different food vendors and persuaded me to

808
00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:09,839
Speaker 4: buy things for him.

809
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:12,080
Speaker 1: What does Derek want? Does he want you to spend

810
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:13,480
Speaker 1: money on him or doesn't want you?

811
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:15,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, he's like, don't spend money on me, but like,

812
00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:17,440
Speaker 4: I really like that shirt.

813
00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:18,759
Speaker 1: You're financially abusing me.

814
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:21,600
Speaker 4: A couple of times I tried to say no because

815
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:24,279
Speaker 4: I obviously hadn't budgeted to buy Derek a bunch of

816
00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:27,040
Speaker 4: fair food. And each time this happened, he got a

817
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:30,840
Speaker 4: really weird attitude with me. I mean, there was immediate tension.

818
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:34,560
Speaker 4: It was really strange and uncomfortable. For example, at one point,

819
00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:37,279
Speaker 4: after I had already brought him food and drinks a

820
00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:40,080
Speaker 4: couple of times, we finally stopped so I could get

821
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:40,919
Speaker 4: my funnel cake.

822
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:42,520
Speaker 1: That's all all about the fuckle cake.

823
00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:44,760
Speaker 4: While we were in line, he noticed that they sold

824
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:48,520
Speaker 4: lemon shakeups and asked for one. They were eight dollars.

825
00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:50,200
Speaker 4: Damn fair food is always.

826
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:53,960
Speaker 2: So expensive, yeah, which was so good, Yeah, so worth it.

827
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,359
Speaker 4: Which was literally more than my funnel cake. I said

828
00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:58,279
Speaker 4: it was too expensive and said I could get him

829
00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:01,560
Speaker 4: a water bottle instead. Suddenly he got passive aggressive with me.

830
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:04,600
Speaker 4: He refused the water and abruptly quit talking to me,

831
00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:06,759
Speaker 4: then left the line to go stand away from me.

832
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:10,239
Speaker 4: I started to feel guilty almost immediately. I mean, it

833
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:13,200
Speaker 4: was our vacation, right, not just mine. By the time

834
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:14,840
Speaker 4: I got to the front of the line, I was

835
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:17,640
Speaker 4: convinced that I'd been selfish, and I was really desperate

836
00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:20,640
Speaker 4: to make peace, so I bought the stupid eight dollar drink.

837
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:23,200
Speaker 4: Suddenly everything was fine again.

838
00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:24,160
Speaker 1: What are we twelve?

839
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:25,640
Speaker 4: I was about to say. I was like, OPI, he's

840
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:28,719
Speaker 4: treating this like his friend is a child and who's

841
00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:32,000
Speaker 4: having a trip. Except he's not actually parenting his friend.

842
00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:33,319
Speaker 1: He's just friending his friend.

843
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 4: He's just like giving in to all of the temper tantrum.

844
00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:38,520
Speaker 6: The fact that Opie is just like, oh, it's my fault,

845
00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:39,719
Speaker 6: like it's not your fault.

846
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:41,480
Speaker 1: It's not your fault. First, you planned a great trip.

847
00:35:41,560 --> 00:35:42,760
Speaker 1: You pay for the great trip.

848
00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:45,279
Speaker 6: He gave his own eight dollars drink, and Derek is

849
00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:48,160
Speaker 6: just not It doesn't seem like he's into it at all.

850
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:51,440
Speaker 4: He doesn't, He's just throwing tantrums. And I think, Ope.

851
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:54,960
Speaker 4: My advice is that Ope learns some gentle parenting. And

852
00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:57,640
Speaker 4: it's like, you already had a treat today, you can't

853
00:35:57,680 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 4: have another.

854
00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:00,480
Speaker 1: One, and then no, I want it's good?

855
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:02,919
Speaker 4: What now? Now? Yeah, I'm just.

856
00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:04,480
Speaker 2: Don't give out and don't talk to you for the

857
00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:06,279
Speaker 2: rest of the trip, because drink.

858
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:08,800
Speaker 4: You have to show Derek who's boss. That's the only way.

859
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:09,920
Speaker 1: That's crazy.

860
00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:13,919
Speaker 4: This kept happening, like repeatedly every time over the couple

861
00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:16,640
Speaker 4: of days we were traveling together. I'd remind him that

862
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:19,320
Speaker 4: there was food I'd already paid for in the hotel room.

863
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:21,719
Speaker 4: Derek would reply that he didn't like what I'd bought

864
00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:24,160
Speaker 4: for him and that he didn't want another jam sandwich.

865
00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:26,640
Speaker 4: It would get tense. I'd start to feel guilty and

866
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:28,919
Speaker 4: afraid that he was angry with me, and I'd cave.

867
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:32,160
Speaker 6: It sounds like a rinse repeat recycled. Yes, that is

868
00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:34,480
Speaker 6: not a friendship you want nah drop him.

869
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:36,680
Speaker 4: I went over budget on day two of our trip,

870
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:39,680
Speaker 4: not just my food budget either. Now I was eating

871
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:41,759
Speaker 4: into my gas money for the second part of my trip.

872
00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:43,640
Speaker 4: I realized that I was going to have to cancel

873
00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:46,320
Speaker 4: my cabin on the water. I couldn't afford to drive

874
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:48,800
Speaker 4: there anymore. I spent the last half of our time

875
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:52,000
Speaker 4: together thinking about it, and slowly started to feel upset

876
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:54,600
Speaker 4: about it, especially when I noticed some other behaviors from

877
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:57,400
Speaker 4: Derek that I thought were really inconsiderate. Even though I

878
00:36:57,440 --> 00:37:00,319
Speaker 4: still managed to enjoy the trip, by the time we

879
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:03,359
Speaker 4: started driving home, I was angry again. I couldn't even

880
00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:05,719
Speaker 4: talk to him. We both just listened to music the

881
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:08,640
Speaker 4: whole ride home. Then three days later we exchanged a

882
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:12,000
Speaker 4: couple of messages. We haven't spoken at all since then.

883
00:37:12,239 --> 00:37:16,360
Speaker 4: That's really unusual for us, because typically we message every day,

884
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:20,040
Speaker 4: multiple times a day. Here's the thing that really is

885
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:22,480
Speaker 4: bothering me about the situation. I had to cancel the

886
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:25,120
Speaker 4: second part of my trip, the part that was really mine.

887
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:27,400
Speaker 4: Not only that, though, but I lost a lot of

888
00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:30,760
Speaker 4: money on it. Why well, if I'd canceled two days

889
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:33,320
Speaker 4: before I originally left with Derek, I would have gotten

890
00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:35,840
Speaker 4: a full refund, but at that point I believed in

891
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:38,160
Speaker 4: good faith that Derek would make good on his promise

892
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:40,960
Speaker 4: and bring his own food money, so I had literally

893
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:43,719
Speaker 4: no reason to cancel. By the time Derek told me

894
00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 4: he didn't have any money, the deadline had passed, and

895
00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:48,439
Speaker 4: when I canceled, I only got one hundred and eighty

896
00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:51,279
Speaker 4: dollars of the original five hundred dollars. I did the

897
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:54,320
Speaker 4: math between the food expenses for Derek. It was festival

898
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:57,080
Speaker 4: food and very expensive, and the money I lost because

899
00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:59,520
Speaker 4: of the late cancelation, I lost a little less than

900
00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:03,080
Speaker 4: five but underd dollars and six days of vacation. At first,

901
00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:05,160
Speaker 4: I was mad at Derek, but I felt all of

902
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:07,480
Speaker 4: the blame was on me. I should have been less

903
00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:09,560
Speaker 4: of a pushover and told him to sit up. We

904
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:13,560
Speaker 4: called it, yeah, yeah, but again it's obviously Dereks, but

905
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:14,600
Speaker 4: you're being an a hole teers.

906
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:16,360
Speaker 6: This was kind of like a you know, like a

907
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:18,759
Speaker 6: little pillar thing like it fell and knocked and knocked

908
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:20,040
Speaker 6: and knocked and then again just.

909
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:22,799
Speaker 4: Domino's came back to you, all around to you. He

910
00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:24,799
Speaker 4: promised to bring money and he was going to have

911
00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:27,360
Speaker 4: to live on tuna and jam sandwiches, or maybe I

912
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:29,200
Speaker 4: should have gone to the dollar store and bought him

913
00:38:29,239 --> 00:38:31,880
Speaker 4: some cup noodles instead. I kept telling myself that it

914
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:34,759
Speaker 4: was our vacation and that Derek deserved to enjoy it too.

915
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:37,560
Speaker 4: Every time I tried to save money, I felt so

916
00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:40,319
Speaker 4: guilty that I gave in and bought whatever he was

917
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:43,480
Speaker 4: asking me for. If I didn't, that weird behavior would reappear,

918
00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:45,520
Speaker 4: and I'd realize if I didn't spend the money, it

919
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:48,600
Speaker 4: would be tense and uncomfortable the whole trip. If I'd

920
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:51,360
Speaker 4: grown a spine, maybe I could have saved my vacation,

921
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:54,120
Speaker 4: but I didn't. Days after my trip was over, though,

922
00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:56,239
Speaker 4: I started to feel differently. Derek and I keep in

923
00:38:56,320 --> 00:38:59,319
Speaker 4: touch on Snapchat. If you're not familiar, your location is

924
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:01,880
Speaker 4: visible there unless you activate ghost mode.

925
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:02,719
Speaker 1: I'm familiar.

926
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:06,080
Speaker 4: I'm familiar. I had told him, before I realized I

927
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:08,000
Speaker 4: was going out to cancel the trip, that i'd send

928
00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:10,480
Speaker 4: him lots of pictures and updates, so I kind of

929
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:14,000
Speaker 4: figured that eventually he'd message asking about it, and then

930
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:16,160
Speaker 4: he'd noticed that I was still in town and not

931
00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:18,560
Speaker 4: in the place I was supposed to be staying, but

932
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:19,880
Speaker 4: he never did.

933
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:21,720
Speaker 1: I think Derek just never cared.

934
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:24,879
Speaker 4: Yeah. In fact, since a random message he sent about

935
00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:27,640
Speaker 4: his job, he hasn't asked after me or messaged me

936
00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:30,360
Speaker 4: at all. I know it's immature of me not to

937
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:33,240
Speaker 4: buck up and start the conversation myself, but to be honest,

938
00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:35,520
Speaker 4: I am not sure what to say. The more time

939
00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:38,080
Speaker 4: has passed, the more hurt I feel. I feel like

940
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:40,880
Speaker 4: he was extremely inconsidered of my time and money. I

941
00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:43,680
Speaker 4: feel used, and I also feel kind of taken advantage

942
00:39:43,719 --> 00:39:46,000
Speaker 4: of because every time I tried to take control of

943
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:49,480
Speaker 4: the situation, he reacted really negatively. He knows I'm a

944
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:54,680
Speaker 4: people pleaser. I can't decide, yeah, you're a huge pleaser.

945
00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:57,799
Speaker 4: I can't decide if that was careless or manipulative, just

946
00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:00,600
Speaker 4: like I can't decide whether he forgot he was supposed

947
00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:02,879
Speaker 4: to bring money, or whether he spent all his money

948
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:04,880
Speaker 4: on the weed he smoked the whole trip because he

949
00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:06,440
Speaker 4: knew I'd take care of him.

950
00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:09,040
Speaker 6: Oh, that's a little fun fact there day. So he

951
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:12,840
Speaker 6: was spending the money that the substances for himself.

952
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:15,479
Speaker 4: I'm extremely bitter about it. I don't know what to say.

953
00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:17,759
Speaker 4: And I don't even know if the feelings I'm developing

954
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:20,880
Speaker 4: are rational. What if it's an innocent mistake and the

955
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:24,520
Speaker 4: only reason he hasn't apologized is because he's genuinely clueless.

956
00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:26,400
Speaker 4: And if that's the case, is that even a good

957
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:29,080
Speaker 4: enough excuse for screwing me over so badly? Like that?

958
00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:32,040
Speaker 4: But we would never screw you over? If you join

959
00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:36,040
Speaker 4: us live every week dead three pm, just tap her profile.

960
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:37,120
Speaker 1: Just tap it.

961
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:37,920
Speaker 4: It's not an ultimate.

962
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:41,240
Speaker 1: Unless screwed, then don't tap it. It's not our fault.

963
00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:44,760
Speaker 4: And there is a teeny bit left to this story.

964
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:47,800
Speaker 1: But what do you think, Oh, he's gaslighting themselves.

965
00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:49,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, he's like, was it mine?

966
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:52,160
Speaker 1: I don't Should I just defend him?

967
00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:52,840
Speaker 4: Yeah?

968
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 1: No, Maybe he's right.

969
00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:57,200
Speaker 4: Maybe our friendship is worth you know, paying for him.

970
00:40:57,320 --> 00:40:59,680
Speaker 1: I see nothing of this friendship that seems like a friendship.

971
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:02,120
Speaker 4: But there is a little bit more to this story.

972
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:05,320
Speaker 4: I want to make the disclaimer that I don't entirely

973
00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:07,960
Speaker 4: blame Derek. I know I'm an adult and I should

974
00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:10,480
Speaker 4: be able to stand up for myself already, especially with

975
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:12,759
Speaker 4: my friends. I just can't shake the feeling that he

976
00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:15,520
Speaker 4: really did me wrong in this situation, and I need

977
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:17,880
Speaker 4: to do something about it. You can't keep the feeling

978
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:19,919
Speaker 4: because it's yes, that's right.

979
00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:22,080
Speaker 2: The fact that you keep bringing it up and you're like, oh,

980
00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:22,440
Speaker 2: it's not.

981
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:25,239
Speaker 4: I don't know. The thing is that, like, yeah, it

982
00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 4: is all Derek's fault, and it is also your fault,

983
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:32,160
Speaker 4: Like it's it's it's two things. I don't know how to,

984
00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:35,560
Speaker 4: Like there's a bubble and there's also another bubble effect.

985
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:38,400
Speaker 1: Like yeah, it's your fault in Derek's fault.

986
00:41:38,239 --> 00:41:41,840
Speaker 4: But yeah, equally, I'm really desperate for advice. To be

987
00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:43,759
Speaker 4: honest with you, because at this point, I feel like

988
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:46,080
Speaker 4: I'm on the cusp of losing my oldest friendship. I

989
00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:48,000
Speaker 4: don't even know if that's a bad thing, but my

990
00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:51,520
Speaker 4: judgment is so clouded by anger and confusion. I feel

991
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:54,120
Speaker 4: like I can't trust myself. I just need to hear

992
00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:57,080
Speaker 4: from other people. What's your take on the situation? Am

993
00:41:57,160 --> 00:42:00,239
Speaker 4: I overthinking it so hard? Am I right to be angery?

994
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:02,960
Speaker 4: Should I try to have a conversation or just let

995
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:05,320
Speaker 4: it go and move on? What would I even say?

996
00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:07,600
Speaker 4: I'm totally at a loss. I've been thinking on it

997
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:09,719
Speaker 4: for days and I can't parse out a solution on

998
00:42:09,719 --> 00:42:13,279
Speaker 4: my own Please advise me. Why's redditors? Yes, have a

999
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:16,920
Speaker 4: conversation with them, like not that you should continue the friendships.

1000
00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:18,400
Speaker 2: You can get the money back.

1001
00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:19,239
Speaker 1: I get the money back.

1002
00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:21,360
Speaker 6: Where she's saying that you want to friends reconcile that

1003
00:42:21,360 --> 00:42:22,240
Speaker 6: friendship where.

1004
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:24,920
Speaker 1: It's just all right. That was a bad hiccup.

1005
00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:27,920
Speaker 6: From here on out, been nice buddy, then ic if

1006
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:30,600
Speaker 6: you pout one time, we're done.

1007
00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:33,719
Speaker 4: My friend totaled my car and now she's acting like

1008
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:37,480
Speaker 4: nothing happened. On September twenty eighth, twenty twenty four, my

1009
00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:39,880
Speaker 4: friend Laila, at nineteen, had asked me to pick her

1010
00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:42,560
Speaker 4: up from work around eleven PM and to hang out

1011
00:42:42,600 --> 00:42:45,040
Speaker 4: at my house with other mutual friends. And Layla had

1012
00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:48,719
Speaker 4: started drinking from an Absolute vodka bottle, which I did

1013
00:42:48,719 --> 00:42:50,960
Speaker 4: not partake in, and she asked me if she can

1014
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:53,120
Speaker 4: sleep over because her mom had given her a set

1015
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:56,160
Speaker 4: curfew out around ten to eleven thirty PM and if

1016
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:58,239
Speaker 4: she is not home at that time, she would have

1017
00:42:58,280 --> 00:43:01,160
Speaker 4: to find a place to sleep over. Wow, that's a tough,

1018
00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:03,040
Speaker 4: Like you can't come home if you're.

1019
00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:04,200
Speaker 7: Not when you're nineteen.

1020
00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:07,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's kind of interesting. Around one am, my other

1021
00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:09,960
Speaker 4: friends left my house and it was only me and Leila.

1022
00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:12,640
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from beneficial Smile nine two

1023
00:43:12,719 --> 00:43:15,160
Speaker 4: to four on the r slash Okay storytime separate it.

1024
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:18,360
Speaker 4: So when Layla sleeps over, she usually sleeps in the

1025
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:20,640
Speaker 4: guest bedroom, and when I was getting ready for bed,

1026
00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:22,839
Speaker 4: she had asked me if I can come with her

1027
00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:27,719
Speaker 4: to get some substances like the soft drink, like a

1028
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:30,879
Speaker 4: Coca Cola substance. She had wanted me to drive her

1029
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:33,160
Speaker 4: to get some and I said no. This is not

1030
00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:35,239
Speaker 4: the first time she has asked me to do this,

1031
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:38,160
Speaker 4: but this time I said no, I do not want to.

1032
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:41,680
Speaker 4: Then she suggested giving the Coca Cola dealer my address

1033
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:44,320
Speaker 4: to drop it off, and I said no as well,

1034
00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:45,399
Speaker 4: she wanted.

1035
00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:47,239
Speaker 2: To get a dealer.

1036
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:50,440
Speaker 7: You're a dress especially if you're not into that, Like,

1037
00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:51,520
Speaker 7: come on, I'm.

1038
00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:55,880
Speaker 4: Just in general, I feel like, don't give dealers your address.

1039
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:57,759
Speaker 7: Fair clearly, I don't. I don't do a lot of

1040
00:43:57,760 --> 00:43:58,799
Speaker 7: work with them, you know, I don't.

1041
00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 4: I mean I don't know. Maybe people giving their addresses up.

1042
00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:03,560
Speaker 4: I don't know. Later on that night, at three h

1043
00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:06,360
Speaker 4: nine am, she had asked to get what a burger,

1044
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:08,319
Speaker 4: and my phone had been on do not deserve, and

1045
00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:11,799
Speaker 4: she had kept notifying the messages anyway, what is why

1046
00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:13,120
Speaker 4: is she does she never sleep?

1047
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:13,480
Speaker 3: No?

1048
00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:16,719
Speaker 7: Because she has the Yeah.

1049
00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:20,239
Speaker 4: For thirty minutes, she just kept insisting let's go to

1050
00:44:20,239 --> 00:44:22,560
Speaker 4: what a Burger. And at that point I had texted

1051
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:24,920
Speaker 4: her back asking her what she wanted, and she just

1052
00:44:25,040 --> 00:44:28,439
Speaker 4: kept insisting. When I was showing her I was disinterested

1053
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:30,680
Speaker 4: on the thought of going to Whataburger. After that, she

1054
00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:33,319
Speaker 4: knocked on my door and I did not answer. Then

1055
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:35,520
Speaker 4: she texted me again. So at that point I just

1056
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:38,160
Speaker 4: let her borrow my car just so she would leave

1057
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:38,800
Speaker 4: me alone.

1058
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:43,920
Speaker 7: No, no, no, no, my parents are the car.

1059
00:44:44,200 --> 00:44:47,240
Speaker 4: Don't let anyone drive your car most because my insurance

1060
00:44:47,239 --> 00:44:47,759
Speaker 4: doesn't allow it.

1061
00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:50,920
Speaker 7: Oh my god, oh yeah, even though like, look, I

1062
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:53,040
Speaker 7: get when you have a craving, I get it, I

1063
00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:55,080
Speaker 7: get so badly.

1064
00:44:55,239 --> 00:44:58,440
Speaker 4: But no, walk, I don't know. At this point, it

1065
00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:00,799
Speaker 4: was four am in the morning. She had left around

1066
00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:03,040
Speaker 4: four h three am, and I went back to sleep.

1067
00:45:03,239 --> 00:45:05,919
Speaker 4: After that, around four forty three, I heard a very

1068
00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:08,840
Speaker 4: loud noise and it sounded like a car crash and

1069
00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:11,920
Speaker 4: I knew at that moment it was Leila and my car.

1070
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:14,480
Speaker 4: I rushed out of the house, and I texted her

1071
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:17,840
Speaker 4: and she called me saying that she had crashed my car.

1072
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:21,160
Speaker 7: That is awful, terrible news.

1073
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:24,280
Speaker 4: Her explanation was that she was turning into my section

1074
00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:26,680
Speaker 4: and a car ignored a stop sign from the other

1075
00:45:26,719 --> 00:45:29,080
Speaker 4: side of the road, and she panicked and she hit

1076
00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:31,040
Speaker 4: a parked car on the side of the street.

1077
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:33,520
Speaker 7: Yeah, you panicked because you're under.

1078
00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:36,520
Speaker 4: The Coca Cola. I do not believe there was a

1079
00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:39,719
Speaker 4: third car involved. She was speeding so fast she had

1080
00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:43,040
Speaker 4: moved a stationary vehicle to their neighbor's front lawn, and

1081
00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:45,839
Speaker 4: my total car was at least ten feet away from

1082
00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:48,160
Speaker 4: the other car. Yeah, there's no way that could have

1083
00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:50,160
Speaker 4: happened if she was actually just stop signay.

1084
00:45:50,239 --> 00:45:51,480
Speaker 7: Yeah, and if you were just swerving.

1085
00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:54,640
Speaker 4: Yeah. When I arrived at the scene, Layla was yelling

1086
00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 4: at me and aggressively saying I'm sorry. It was either

1087
00:45:57,200 --> 00:45:59,960
Speaker 4: my life or your car, and proceeded to just yell

1088
00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:01,960
Speaker 4: at me saying she'll pay for it, And she got

1089
00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:04,880
Speaker 4: aggravated at me and became passive aggressive when I was

1090
00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:07,760
Speaker 4: getting upset about my car. Why are we friends with Leila?

1091
00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:08,520
Speaker 7: I know?

1092
00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:10,640
Speaker 4: Does Leilah have any redeeming qualities?

1093
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:11,000
Speaker 5: I know.

1094
00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:13,879
Speaker 7: It is a tough situation though, when you like need

1095
00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:18,160
Speaker 7: to kind of be sympathetic and compassionate during a car okay, right,

1096
00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:20,920
Speaker 7: But at the same time, like you missed her, you

1097
00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:21,560
Speaker 7: messed up.

1098
00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:24,920
Speaker 4: She proceeded to tell me to keep yelling at her

1099
00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:28,600
Speaker 4: and see what happens. So in the moment, I yelled,

1100
00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:31,279
Speaker 4: and she said come here in a threatening way like

1101
00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:33,600
Speaker 4: she wanted to fight, and I just walked away, and

1102
00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:36,040
Speaker 4: she just kept yelling at me that she'll leave and

1103
00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:39,480
Speaker 4: there's no problems. Then she just proceeded to keep yelling

1104
00:46:39,640 --> 00:46:41,600
Speaker 4: while me and the people that she hit were trying

1105
00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:44,520
Speaker 4: to figure out what to do, while calling insurance because

1106
00:46:44,560 --> 00:46:47,240
Speaker 4: she had told us that she doesn't have insurance.

1107
00:46:47,840 --> 00:46:52,239
Speaker 7: No, don't be driving around with that insurance, guys, why

1108
00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:53,320
Speaker 7: don't do it?

1109
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:57,480
Speaker 4: I hate Leilah so much. The police and my boyfriend

1110
00:46:57,520 --> 00:47:01,319
Speaker 4: came shortly after that and did the basic asking us

1111
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:03,840
Speaker 4: if any one of us were injured, and she proceeded

1112
00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:05,880
Speaker 4: to make a joke and say, I have a little

1113
00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:07,840
Speaker 4: cut on my leg, but I'm from the South. I

1114
00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:10,239
Speaker 4: can handle it, which is off putting because this is

1115
00:47:10,400 --> 00:47:12,720
Speaker 4: not a situation to be joking about. She had asked

1116
00:47:12,719 --> 00:47:14,680
Speaker 4: the police officer if they could take her home and

1117
00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:16,840
Speaker 4: get her stuff from my house, and later on she

1118
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:19,319
Speaker 4: just starts crying to the police while the tow truck

1119
00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:21,719
Speaker 4: comes and we do the basic procedure and get my

1120
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:25,359
Speaker 4: car out of there. She's exhausting, I know. And it's

1121
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:26,640
Speaker 4: also four forty three am.

1122
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:29,040
Speaker 7: That's the thing too, like we're just tired.

1123
00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:31,239
Speaker 4: While I was taking all of my belongings out of

1124
00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:34,640
Speaker 4: my car, one of the police officers escorted Leyla to

1125
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:37,399
Speaker 4: my house to grab her belongings, and my boyfriend had

1126
00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:39,960
Speaker 4: followed them and watched them, and from what my boyfriend

1127
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:42,239
Speaker 4: has told me, they were joking around with each other

1128
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:45,600
Speaker 4: and laughing, and the officer even assisted finding her bottle

1129
00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:49,560
Speaker 4: cap for and drove her home with it, knowing she

1130
00:47:49,719 --> 00:47:54,520
Speaker 4: is only nineteen years old. No, no, the police officer

1131
00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:57,440
Speaker 4: and Layla were joking about her drinking while driving.

1132
00:47:57,640 --> 00:48:01,920
Speaker 7: That's meant that is met police officers clearly not very

1133
00:48:01,920 --> 00:48:02,400
Speaker 7: good ones.

1134
00:48:02,560 --> 00:48:05,800
Speaker 4: Oh my goodness, did she bribe them. The other police

1135
00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:07,600
Speaker 4: officer came up to me and told me they were

1136
00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:11,800
Speaker 4: only giving her a warning for speeding. What bad police officers?

1137
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:12,160
Speaker 7: What?

1138
00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:14,759
Speaker 4: They took her home and I had texted her that

1139
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:16,959
Speaker 4: me and my father needed to speak with her mother,

1140
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:20,520
Speaker 4: and she replied with rude and denying replies, and then

1141
00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:23,520
Speaker 4: she brought up child to trauma and used it against me.

1142
00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:26,239
Speaker 4: I had stopped texting her after that. The next day,

1143
00:48:26,280 --> 00:48:29,000
Speaker 4: I had asked her when her mom was available to

1144
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:31,160
Speaker 4: speak to me and my father to settle the coverage

1145
00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:33,120
Speaker 4: of my car, and she had said that her mother

1146
00:48:33,239 --> 00:48:35,800
Speaker 4: doesn't want to speak to anyone, and she had given

1147
00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:38,279
Speaker 4: me her number, and I texted her. Her mother took

1148
00:48:38,280 --> 00:48:40,160
Speaker 4: a day to reply to me, and she told me

1149
00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:42,080
Speaker 4: that she does not want to get involved with her

1150
00:48:42,120 --> 00:48:43,560
Speaker 4: adult child's business.

1151
00:48:43,680 --> 00:48:48,120
Speaker 7: Are you serious? Oh my goodness, I mean yeah, okay,

1152
00:48:48,239 --> 00:48:50,680
Speaker 7: technically you're nineteen, you are an adult. You can handle

1153
00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:50,960
Speaker 7: this time.

1154
00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:54,759
Speaker 4: Like she's clearly not going to And why is she

1155
00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:57,200
Speaker 4: not on any insurance? What's going on there?

1156
00:48:57,239 --> 00:48:59,960
Speaker 7: To be driving with no insurance is very dangerous?

1157
00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:00,279
Speaker 3: Oh?

1158
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:02,960
Speaker 4: Yeah. So I texted Leila that since her mother does

1159
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:05,080
Speaker 4: not want to get involved in this situation, I have

1160
00:49:05,160 --> 00:49:08,239
Speaker 4: to take her accountable directly and asked her when it

1161
00:49:08,360 --> 00:49:11,319
Speaker 4: is appropriate to discuss the coverage and the payments with

1162
00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:14,120
Speaker 4: my car, and she continued avoiding it. So I told her,

1163
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:16,120
Speaker 4: I will have to take this into a legal matter

1164
00:49:16,360 --> 00:49:18,920
Speaker 4: since she does not want to handle this matter outside

1165
00:49:18,920 --> 00:49:22,160
Speaker 4: of court. By the way, you can handle this matter

1166
00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:25,680
Speaker 4: with us outside of court by joining us Live every

1167
00:49:25,680 --> 00:49:29,239
Speaker 4: Week Death through PMPST just to have our profile. Did

1168
00:49:29,280 --> 00:49:31,440
Speaker 4: what But there is a little bit more of the story.

1169
00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:33,880
Speaker 4: But what's your thoughts here? What if we do? What

1170
00:49:33,960 --> 00:49:36,480
Speaker 4: does OP do? Because I think I know what OP does?

1171
00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:38,640
Speaker 7: But I think you try your best to sort it

1172
00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:43,280
Speaker 7: out just between the family, yes, and get your money

1173
00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:45,920
Speaker 7: back or put in a claim. I don't know what

1174
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:49,239
Speaker 7: insurance would give you. I don't know, Oliver, right, And

1175
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:51,799
Speaker 7: then don't talk to Laila, don't Layla's no long.

1176
00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:55,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, Leila should not be your friend. She's a bad influence.

1177
00:49:55,440 --> 00:49:56,560
Speaker 4: She's a bad friend.

1178
00:49:57,040 --> 00:50:00,560
Speaker 7: And let's make smarter decisions and not let our friend.

1179
00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:03,919
Speaker 7: First of all, I don't let almost anybody drive my car, same,

1180
00:50:04,040 --> 00:50:04,680
Speaker 7: I really don't.

1181
00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:07,040
Speaker 4: There are very few circumstances where I let people drive

1182
00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:07,319
Speaker 4: my car.

1183
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:09,320
Speaker 7: Right, So that's one. And if you are going to

1184
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:12,080
Speaker 7: have someone drive your car, make sure they're sober and

1185
00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:14,759
Speaker 7: make sure they have insurance and have insurance that too,

1186
00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:16,440
Speaker 7: and like, won't crash your.

1187
00:50:16,280 --> 00:50:18,280
Speaker 4: Car, but there is a little bit left of the story.

1188
00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:20,839
Speaker 4: Later on, I found out from someone that she did,

1189
00:50:20,880 --> 00:50:23,319
Speaker 4: in fact lie to me about where she was going

1190
00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:25,600
Speaker 4: to take my car and her intentions with my car.

1191
00:50:25,719 --> 00:50:27,920
Speaker 4: She did not go to water Burger, and I believe

1192
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:31,400
Speaker 4: she had taken my car to make a substance deal.

1193
00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:33,920
Speaker 4: And I believe she had lied to me and told

1194
00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:36,600
Speaker 4: me she does not have insurance when she does, because

1195
00:50:36,600 --> 00:50:39,320
Speaker 4: in the state of Texas, to obtain a driver's license,

1196
00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:41,840
Speaker 4: you would need a proof of insurance, either her famili's,

1197
00:50:41,920 --> 00:50:44,399
Speaker 4: her mother, or her own. I really want to out

1198
00:50:44,400 --> 00:50:47,560
Speaker 4: her on social media, lol, since I probably won't get

1199
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:49,920
Speaker 4: my money back from her, because even if I file

1200
00:50:49,960 --> 00:50:52,800
Speaker 4: a small court claim, she's broke and won't have anything

1201
00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:55,480
Speaker 4: to give me, and she's just walking around like nothing

1202
00:50:55,520 --> 00:50:56,200
Speaker 4: has happened.

1203
00:50:56,440 --> 00:50:56,600
Speaker 5: Edit.

1204
00:50:56,960 --> 00:50:59,440
Speaker 4: I'm nineteen years old as well, and I'm basically on

1205
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:01,719
Speaker 4: my own and that car is my only chance of

1206
00:51:01,719 --> 00:51:04,279
Speaker 4: true independence. That's how I will make my money and

1207
00:51:04,280 --> 00:51:06,160
Speaker 4: how I will get to school for a better chance

1208
00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:07,960
Speaker 4: in life. I don't know. I feel like you need

1209
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:10,440
Speaker 4: to try and get some money back.

1210
00:51:10,239 --> 00:51:14,000
Speaker 7: From absolutely, try whatever you can. It talks too when

1211
00:51:14,040 --> 00:51:17,120
Speaker 7: like stuff like this, like legal action comes into play.

1212
00:51:17,400 --> 00:51:19,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, when she should just be I mean, she should

1213
00:51:19,719 --> 00:51:22,760
Speaker 4: have just won not total to her car, but she should Yeah.

1214
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:24,600
Speaker 3: Hey, it's sam where to get back to these stories,

1215
00:51:24,640 --> 00:51:26,640
Speaker 3: But here's three minutes of AADs from our sponsors.

1216
00:51:27,719 --> 00:51:30,319
Speaker 7: My best friend always hated me because I was better

1217
00:51:30,360 --> 00:51:33,560
Speaker 7: than her in every way. That makes sense.

1218
00:51:33,719 --> 00:51:36,479
Speaker 4: Yeah, she's like, she's jealous of you because you're better

1219
00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:37,640
Speaker 4: than her in every way.

1220
00:51:37,880 --> 00:51:40,680
Speaker 7: Every way. Okay, so this is a bit of a doozy.

1221
00:51:41,160 --> 00:51:43,600
Speaker 7: My college best friend was in a lot of ways,

1222
00:51:43,880 --> 00:51:45,960
Speaker 7: exactly the kind of friend you'd want in college. We

1223
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:48,640
Speaker 7: became close early in freshman year, lived together for two

1224
00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:50,880
Speaker 7: and a half years, where most of the same classes,

1225
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:53,080
Speaker 7: and had a lot of shared interests, et cetera. By

1226
00:51:53,080 --> 00:51:55,520
Speaker 7: the way, this comes from she's a reader on the

1227
00:51:55,560 --> 00:51:59,520
Speaker 7: Okay storytime subreddit. So I was there for her through

1228
00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:02,640
Speaker 7: a tight nine issue our freshman year. She was there

1229
00:52:02,640 --> 00:52:05,759
Speaker 7: for me through a particularly nasty breakup. We visited each

1230
00:52:05,760 --> 00:52:08,560
Speaker 7: other's families, houses, over school breaks, et cetera. So they're

1231
00:52:08,560 --> 00:52:10,600
Speaker 7: really close. Towards the end of our senior year, there

1232
00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:12,600
Speaker 7: was a lot of tension between us that hadn't been

1233
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:14,839
Speaker 7: there before. I had a lot of achievements come through

1234
00:52:14,920 --> 00:52:16,880
Speaker 7: from work i'd been putting in all along. I was

1235
00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:19,640
Speaker 7: invited to join the school's top honor society. I was

1236
00:52:19,719 --> 00:52:22,720
Speaker 7: named captain of my sports team. I got into grad school,

1237
00:52:22,760 --> 00:52:26,520
Speaker 7: I had a paper published. Okay, most of these, you

1238
00:52:26,600 --> 00:52:31,080
Speaker 7: go off. Most of these events involved receptions, parties, et cetera,

1239
00:52:31,280 --> 00:52:34,040
Speaker 7: as celebrations, and my boyfriend and I are long distance

1240
00:52:34,040 --> 00:52:37,200
Speaker 7: and the school wasn't allowing visitors because of COVID regulations,

1241
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:39,680
Speaker 7: so I invited my best friend instead. And this was

1242
00:52:39,719 --> 00:52:41,799
Speaker 7: normal for us. We'd been each other's plus ones to

1243
00:52:41,840 --> 00:52:45,480
Speaker 7: department events, sports banquets, et cetera for all of college.

1244
00:52:45,560 --> 00:52:47,719
Speaker 7: Here's where things get messy. When I invited her to

1245
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:50,359
Speaker 7: celebrate with me, she started shutting me down at every

1246
00:52:50,360 --> 00:52:52,600
Speaker 7: turn and yelling at me that I didn't need a

1247
00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:55,080
Speaker 7: brag all the time and I needed to stop constantly

1248
00:52:55,120 --> 00:52:56,400
Speaker 7: trying to one up everyone.

1249
00:52:56,560 --> 00:53:00,680
Speaker 4: Oh my goodness, she's very jealous, very jealous. You're talking

1250
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:02,760
Speaker 4: about it all the time. Yeah, and you're like, unless

1251
00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:10,000
Speaker 4: to go to my trophies. Yeah, yeah, then troph my trophies.

1252
00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:10,920
Speaker 4: But I think you're.

1253
00:53:10,920 --> 00:53:14,600
Speaker 7: Fine, right in my opinion, I wasn't bragging. I was

1254
00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:16,840
Speaker 7: inviting my best friend to celebrate good news with me.

1255
00:53:17,120 --> 00:53:19,160
Speaker 7: That is the worst one. A friend can't be happy

1256
00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:22,200
Speaker 7: for you and celebrate you and your achievements. That's not

1257
00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:25,800
Speaker 7: a good friend. She then began to invalidate every success,

1258
00:53:25,960 --> 00:53:28,360
Speaker 7: telling me that she'd have made captain two if she

1259
00:53:28,440 --> 00:53:30,560
Speaker 7: stayed on the team for all four years. She quit

1260
00:53:30,640 --> 00:53:32,600
Speaker 7: after two and a half years, whereas I stayed on

1261
00:53:32,680 --> 00:53:36,200
Speaker 7: mine and did leadership stuff, including assistant coaching while studying

1262
00:53:36,239 --> 00:53:38,880
Speaker 7: abroad and when we got sent home from campus because

1263
00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:40,720
Speaker 7: of COVID. She said that she should have been invited

1264
00:53:40,760 --> 00:53:43,080
Speaker 7: to the honors program too because of how much stuff

1265
00:53:43,120 --> 00:53:45,840
Speaker 7: she took on. She had two majors, and by contrast,

1266
00:53:45,840 --> 00:53:48,279
Speaker 7: my GPA was point six points higher than hers, and

1267
00:53:48,320 --> 00:53:51,200
Speaker 7: I had three majors and I stayed on my team.

1268
00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:57,080
Speaker 4: Okay, sounds like we're bragging just a little bit, now,

1269
00:53:57,120 --> 00:53:57,520
Speaker 4: it does?

1270
00:53:57,600 --> 00:53:59,560
Speaker 7: Now it does? I have point six higher than her,

1271
00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:01,960
Speaker 7: says she was under a lot of stress that year

1272
00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:04,440
Speaker 7: due to not having planned out her courses and workload

1273
00:54:04,520 --> 00:54:06,160
Speaker 7: until the end of the year, and bit off a

1274
00:54:06,160 --> 00:54:08,560
Speaker 7: little more than she could chew, which I understand. I've

1275
00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:10,680
Speaker 7: been in that spot myself. I don't see myself as

1276
00:54:10,719 --> 00:54:11,839
Speaker 7: better than her in any way.

1277
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:12,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, you do.

1278
00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:14,920
Speaker 7: I've had a lot of help and mentorship for my professors,

1279
00:54:14,960 --> 00:54:18,279
Speaker 7: and I've made some questionable decisions regarding my own physical health,

1280
00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:21,120
Speaker 7: i e. Prioritizing a paper over sleep or meals A

1281
00:54:21,160 --> 00:54:22,160
Speaker 7: few too many times.

1282
00:54:22,920 --> 00:54:27,440
Speaker 4: She's like, sometimes I go so hard at school that

1283
00:54:27,520 --> 00:54:30,439
Speaker 4: I don't that I don't sleep. Yeah, I just had

1284
00:54:30,480 --> 00:54:33,200
Speaker 4: to get that one hundred percent on my test that

1285
00:54:33,280 --> 00:54:34,360
Speaker 4: I didn't sleep.

1286
00:54:34,520 --> 00:54:36,719
Speaker 7: I've kind of been there before, though. I remember nights

1287
00:54:36,719 --> 00:54:39,759
Speaker 7: in college where I just like had espresso at like

1288
00:54:40,040 --> 00:54:41,799
Speaker 7: two am and I just pulled all night.

1289
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:44,239
Speaker 4: I never pulled an all niner. That was I made

1290
00:54:44,239 --> 00:54:46,239
Speaker 4: a deal with myself in college. I was like, I

1291
00:54:46,280 --> 00:54:49,440
Speaker 4: will never pull an all nighter to finish any or

1292
00:54:49,480 --> 00:54:50,600
Speaker 4: study for any assign.

1293
00:54:50,680 --> 00:54:51,399
Speaker 7: Good for you.

1294
00:54:51,680 --> 00:54:55,719
Speaker 4: The latest I for school. I stayed up later for

1295
00:54:55,800 --> 00:54:56,560
Speaker 4: other things, but that.

1296
00:54:56,600 --> 00:55:01,040
Speaker 7: Hard day that's good for you. Well clearly didn't do that.

1297
00:55:01,239 --> 00:55:04,160
Speaker 7: So I've been where she was, just not at such

1298
00:55:04,160 --> 00:55:06,759
Speaker 7: a crucial time career in school wise, I apologized to

1299
00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:08,799
Speaker 7: her for making her feel like I was one upping her,

1300
00:55:08,920 --> 00:55:13,120
Speaker 7: or for not validating her concerns, stressors, anxieties. She wasn't wrong.

1301
00:55:13,239 --> 00:55:15,680
Speaker 7: I'd been wrapped up in my own little celebratory bubble.

1302
00:55:15,719 --> 00:55:17,520
Speaker 7: I wasn't doing the best job of reading the room

1303
00:55:17,520 --> 00:55:20,160
Speaker 7: about how stressed she was. That said, it felt like

1304
00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:22,560
Speaker 7: she resented me for having worked hard and planned well

1305
00:55:22,600 --> 00:55:24,520
Speaker 7: from day one. In the moment and in the week

1306
00:55:24,560 --> 00:55:27,520
Speaker 7: of conflict that followed, I felt unsupported and didn't like

1307
00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:29,880
Speaker 7: the feeling. So I asked for a step back and

1308
00:55:29,920 --> 00:55:32,640
Speaker 7: a break. Ooh, I love that. I feel like it's

1309
00:55:32,719 --> 00:55:35,279
Speaker 7: rare that. Yeah, it's rare in friendships that I think

1310
00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:36,680
Speaker 7: were able to be like, hey, can we take a

1311
00:55:36,680 --> 00:55:37,240
Speaker 7: little pause.

1312
00:55:37,400 --> 00:55:39,560
Speaker 4: Well, I think also, there's not like we don't really

1313
00:55:39,560 --> 00:55:43,840
Speaker 4: have that precedent set up, right with friends specifically see Yeah,

1314
00:55:43,880 --> 00:55:45,680
Speaker 4: and so I think a lot of times when we

1315
00:55:45,719 --> 00:55:47,799
Speaker 4: do say, you know, when people say hey, let's take

1316
00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:50,160
Speaker 4: a break, Yeah, let's stick a step back, that is

1317
00:55:50,200 --> 00:55:51,560
Speaker 4: received really negatively.

1318
00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:55,840
Speaker 7: Mm hmm, right, like something so off. She cried, told

1319
00:55:55,840 --> 00:55:57,480
Speaker 7: me that I was still her best friend and that

1320
00:55:57,560 --> 00:56:00,640
Speaker 7: I needed to reevaluate my priorities in life. Didn't really

1321
00:56:00,680 --> 00:56:03,360
Speaker 7: have a right to be upset, and in the same conversation,

1322
00:56:03,480 --> 00:56:06,000
Speaker 7: proceeded to bring up my previous traumas and throw them

1323
00:56:06,080 --> 00:56:08,200
Speaker 7: back in my face because she was upset with me.

1324
00:56:08,320 --> 00:56:11,040
Speaker 7: She's like, I have more trauma than you. That is

1325
00:56:11,239 --> 00:56:13,400
Speaker 7: messed up to use what somebody shared with you in

1326
00:56:13,440 --> 00:56:15,640
Speaker 7: the past. Oh my gosh. So she was upset with

1327
00:56:15,640 --> 00:56:18,160
Speaker 7: me saying that because I'm just hyper competitive and can't

1328
00:56:18,200 --> 00:56:22,319
Speaker 7: appreciate anyone else's struggles because of my previous admittedly kind

1329
00:56:22,360 --> 00:56:24,680
Speaker 7: of cutthroat school and the last relationship I'd been in.

1330
00:56:25,040 --> 00:56:27,680
Speaker 7: She stopped speaking to me Shortly before this. Multiple of

1331
00:56:27,719 --> 00:56:29,560
Speaker 7: my other friends had informed me that she'd been saying

1332
00:56:29,600 --> 00:56:33,960
Speaker 7: slightly derogatory things about me and my achievements all semester min.

1333
00:56:34,760 --> 00:56:37,600
Speaker 4: Why are we talking about our friends behind their bags?

1334
00:56:37,680 --> 00:56:40,719
Speaker 7: That's the worst. Don't do that a good friend. I

1335
00:56:40,800 --> 00:56:42,840
Speaker 7: didn't mention that to her, but it was a factor

1336
00:56:42,840 --> 00:56:44,960
Speaker 7: in my deciding to speak up in the first place.

1337
00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:48,839
Speaker 7: It's been almost a year of no contact whatsoever. I

1338
00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:51,440
Speaker 7: haven't felt comfortable reaching out, so it's been the equivalent

1339
00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:53,920
Speaker 7: of cutting her off entirely. I thought we were going like.

1340
00:56:53,960 --> 00:56:57,160
Speaker 4: A week or two now that's all. That's a breakoup

1341
00:56:57,239 --> 00:56:57,840
Speaker 4: from oh.

1342
00:56:57,760 --> 00:57:01,120
Speaker 7: Whoa, whoa, and a year of not talking to someone.

1343
00:57:01,160 --> 00:57:03,239
Speaker 7: You kind of realize whether you actually want them in

1344
00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:03,600
Speaker 7: your life.

1345
00:57:03,680 --> 00:57:06,960
Speaker 4: YEA were like, actually, maybe we're better off apart.

1346
00:57:07,360 --> 00:57:10,520
Speaker 7: Yeah, but Opie says, I miss the friend that I had,

1347
00:57:10,680 --> 00:57:12,560
Speaker 7: but not the way that she treated me. Towards the

1348
00:57:12,640 --> 00:57:14,920
Speaker 7: end of our last year of college. I suspect that

1349
00:57:14,960 --> 00:57:17,040
Speaker 7: she's got some mental health issues that need to be

1350
00:57:17,080 --> 00:57:19,600
Speaker 7: worked out. I regularly see a therapist who has helped

1351
00:57:19,600 --> 00:57:22,400
Speaker 7: me enormously, whereas this friend has laughed at the concept

1352
00:57:22,440 --> 00:57:25,720
Speaker 7: of medication and meditation and counseling, saying that she doesn't

1353
00:57:25,760 --> 00:57:27,960
Speaker 7: have time for that. I should mention Also, we had

1354
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:30,560
Speaker 7: moved in with two other housemates for senior year, one

1355
00:57:30,560 --> 00:57:32,640
Speaker 7: of our mutual friends and one of my best friend's

1356
00:57:32,640 --> 00:57:35,520
Speaker 7: other friends who I wasn't close to. Almost immediately, she

1357
00:57:35,600 --> 00:57:37,760
Speaker 7: started hanging out with this other friend instead of me,

1358
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:41,440
Speaker 7: sharing our inside jokes and friendship traditions with her, making

1359
00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:44,160
Speaker 7: plans with her instead of me, and frequently canceling on

1360
00:57:44,200 --> 00:57:46,200
Speaker 7: plans with me to hang out with her, or bringing

1361
00:57:46,240 --> 00:57:49,560
Speaker 7: her to our plans unannounced and uninvited, siding with her

1362
00:57:49,600 --> 00:57:52,680
Speaker 7: in every in house argument, et cetera. At one point,

1363
00:57:52,720 --> 00:57:54,800
Speaker 7: my best friend even shared my notes from a class

1364
00:57:54,840 --> 00:57:58,000
Speaker 7: we'd taken together with this new friend. Without permission back.

1365
00:57:58,160 --> 00:58:00,240
Speaker 7: I felt like she had chosen this new friend over me,

1366
00:58:00,560 --> 00:58:02,560
Speaker 7: especially when I found out that this friend had been

1367
00:58:02,560 --> 00:58:05,200
Speaker 7: spreading rumors about me, and not only did my best

1368
00:58:05,200 --> 00:58:07,840
Speaker 7: friend not speak up, she also didn't tell me. I

1369
00:58:07,880 --> 00:58:10,560
Speaker 7: found out through our other friends, who shut that crap

1370
00:58:10,640 --> 00:58:13,240
Speaker 7: down the second they heard it. They're wonderful friends. I'm

1371
00:58:13,360 --> 00:58:15,800
Speaker 7: very thankful for them, and they've been there through all

1372
00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:16,480
Speaker 7: of this mess.

1373
00:58:16,600 --> 00:58:19,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, I've been in that situation. Yeah, we're like, like,

1374
00:58:19,640 --> 00:58:22,080
Speaker 4: this girl was spreading rumors and like my friend, my

1375
00:58:22,120 --> 00:58:24,640
Speaker 4: friends didn't tell me unterrible later and I was like,

1376
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:25,120
Speaker 4: why not.

1377
00:58:25,680 --> 00:58:28,040
Speaker 7: Let's keep it real, guys, Let's keep it real. Lets

1378
00:58:28,040 --> 00:58:30,120
Speaker 7: be upfront. You guys can keep it real with us

1379
00:58:30,160 --> 00:58:32,600
Speaker 7: by joining us live on YouTube every weekday at three

1380
00:58:32,640 --> 00:58:35,800
Speaker 7: pm PST. Just tap our profile. And then this last

1381
00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:37,880
Speaker 7: bit of this story, Opie says, I've been thinking a

1382
00:58:37,920 --> 00:58:40,320
Speaker 7: lot about the de evolution of this friendship. Perhaps I

1383
00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:42,720
Speaker 7: was hasty in cutting off the relationship, but I didn't

1384
00:58:42,720 --> 00:58:45,400
Speaker 7: feel comfortable being that close to this person anymore, and

1385
00:58:45,440 --> 00:58:47,720
Speaker 7: I honestly still don't. But at the same time, am

1386
00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:49,560
Speaker 7: I the a hole for cutting off someone who was

1387
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:52,040
Speaker 7: my best friend in college? Especially with three and a

1388
00:58:52,040 --> 00:58:55,000
Speaker 7: half years of close friendship behind us. No, I don't

1389
00:58:55,040 --> 00:58:57,160
Speaker 7: think you're the a hole because I think life's too

1390
00:58:57,240 --> 00:58:59,800
Speaker 7: short to hold onto relationships that don't.

1391
00:58:59,800 --> 00:59:03,000
Speaker 4: So yeah, whether or not you were blagging, I think

1392
00:59:03,040 --> 00:59:05,520
Speaker 4: the jury is still out on but I think that

1393
00:59:06,400 --> 00:59:08,480
Speaker 4: she was not a good friend. She was spreading rumors,

1394
00:59:08,560 --> 00:59:10,400
Speaker 4: or she was at least aiding in a bedding in

1395
00:59:10,440 --> 00:59:11,200
Speaker 4: the rumor spreading