Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Zero. Here's Nikki. Hello here, I
Speaker 1: am welcome to the show. It's a Nicki Glazer podcast.
Speaker 1: I'm Nicki Glazer. Andrew Colin is here, Noah is here. No,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. I never remember how to pronounce
Speaker 1: your last name, and it's so embarrassing, Like I just
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't tell you that in person, like
Speaker 1: I have to do it on air when we're like,
Speaker 1: for some reason, it's easier for me to say really
Speaker 1: embarrassing things and things I'm ashamed of into a microphone
Speaker 1: when it's like live than did like personally say to you.
Speaker 1: I honestly never say your last name because I just
Speaker 1: freak out because I haven't memorized how to pronounce it.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna guess and you just let me, Like
Speaker 1: if there was a gun to my head, I was
Speaker 1: gonna say, no, that's it Aer, Okay, Yeah, I'm going
Speaker 1: to remember it from now on because I'm always going
Speaker 1: to think of Avenue because it's always like a V
Speaker 1: or you know, like I think of eight. But I
Speaker 1: know that you hate birds, so it's not avian. I
Speaker 1: don't hate you, just hate pigeons, which are of the
Speaker 1: Avian family. So that's how I'm gonna remember. That's how
Speaker 1: I that's literally how I do everything. And that does
Speaker 1: not mean I'm a bad friend, by the way, Like
Speaker 1: Noah's one of my best friends. But me, it just
Speaker 1: it's one of those things that has been on my
Speaker 1: mind for so long and I never am sure of it,
Speaker 1: so I always just don't say it. But I just
Speaker 1: want to get honest about it, because it doesn't mean
Speaker 1: I'm a bad person. Doesn't mean I don't love Noah.
Speaker 1: I forgot my but like one of my best friend
Speaker 1: Robin's birthdays yesterday, I forgot Kirsten's birthday this year. I
Speaker 1: forgot my mom's birthday this year. I'm not a bad
Speaker 1: person because I forget birthdays. I love them just as
Speaker 1: much as they love me. I'm going to forgive myself
Speaker 1: for it, and I hope that they forgive me too.
Speaker 1: But I just there's certain things sometimes that I just
Speaker 1: go You're like, I just don't shame about Like it's
Speaker 1: it's shameful that I don't know how to pronounce your
Speaker 1: last name. And then it's like gets so like can
Speaker 1: it take something really? And then I feel too embarrassed yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's glass. Or for a long time, I didn't
Speaker 1: know how to pronounce my own last name either. OK.
Speaker 1: That kind of makes me feel better, but like also
Speaker 1: it's I don't know what. Okay, you feel better? You
Speaker 1: didn't know Noah's last name? Yeah, no, I honestly, I
Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever said her last name once
Speaker 1: out loud until because you didn't know how to say it.
Speaker 1: Do you do you know now how to say it?
Speaker 1: Say it? Andrew, what's my last name? Say it? Bit
Speaker 1: same name? Name? Got your like you, I'm going to
Speaker 1: say the or is there Is it wrong to say
Speaker 1: the or it's a v i o r For our
Speaker 1: listeners who may not know, is it wrong to say?
Speaker 1: Is it a vy? Or? Because I would say the or?
Speaker 1: Or is it avier avor? I used to have? There
Speaker 1: are a lot of I used to have a language teacher,
Speaker 1: and she would go every time she would take attendance,
Speaker 1: she would go, Noah avoi. She would be like so
Speaker 1: dramatic about it. It sounds like because avoir a v
Speaker 1: o i r is the one of the you know,
Speaker 1: most popular verbs, most used verbs in French. It's to have.
Speaker 1: It means to have so like you say when you
Speaker 1: say like J J apostrophe AI, it's like I have
Speaker 1: and that's a conjugation of avoir A v O I R.
Speaker 1: So it does look very um French. So I'm glad
Speaker 1: to have that out of the way. Like that is
Speaker 1: a burden to me that I have, Like I've just
Speaker 1: been avoiding for something and it's so interesting to me
Speaker 1: that I could never like I have asked you about
Speaker 1: it before and um, and I kind of like swallowed
Speaker 1: my pride in asking you. We've had this conversation before
Speaker 1: and I got the answer, and I think I didn't
Speaker 1: create a mnemonic device to remember it. And so then
Speaker 1: I was like, fuck, wait, Like do you ever do
Speaker 1: that where you're like clear there, you like get some information,
Speaker 1: You're like, oh good, and then you are so obsessed
Speaker 1: with all the pomp around it that you forget actually
Speaker 1: the thing. Like you get directions somewhere and you're like thanks, man,
Speaker 1: and you're like thinking about remembering the direction, so you
Speaker 1: don't actually remember that, you know what I mean? So
Speaker 1: I need a ways for your name, is what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I need a gps um. But there are embarrassing things
Speaker 1: when it comes to like being a human being and
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean you're a bad person. Like I think
Speaker 1: that so much of I'm always fearing that the things
Speaker 1: I do are all proof that I'm I'm selfish, i
Speaker 1: am a narcissist, I am only for myself, and I'm
Speaker 1: a bad person. And there's like, oh, I think I'm
Speaker 1: always trying to collect things that support that belief about myself.
Speaker 1: And so I was just talking with a good friend
Speaker 1: Ian Finance. He came by my hotel. I'm in York
Speaker 1: City and old friend of you know, the up Days
Speaker 1: E and Finance. I haven't seen him in two years,
Speaker 1: and we were talking about honestly, like we we both
Speaker 1: are you know, people who like love recovery programs, and
Speaker 1: we were talking about like struggling with just substance abuse,
Speaker 1: whether it be you know, food, pot alcohol, uh, you know, sex, porn,
Speaker 1: whatever it is. We're talking about all that, and really
Speaker 1: I was just trying to what we arrived at was
Speaker 1: like just it all. All this behavior stems from feeling
Speaker 1: like you are not a good person and wanting to
Speaker 1: alleviate that feeling of like feeling like anxiety because you're
Speaker 1: either scared or shamed or anything. And the only way
Speaker 1: to alleviate it is to get a little hit of dopamine.
Speaker 1: And when you reach for that thing to make yourself
Speaker 1: feel better, you're just all you are in that moment
Speaker 1: that you're doing something that is addictive or wrong or illegal,
Speaker 1: is you're just trying to be a person who isn't
Speaker 1: in pain. And why would you ever be mad at
Speaker 1: a person that's just trying to not be in pain?
Speaker 1: And like, I just think that's a great way to
Speaker 1: I don't know, I just want to put that out there.
Speaker 1: It's like if whatever anyone out there is struggling with today,
Speaker 1: whether it be like, oh, I you know I I
Speaker 1: drove drunk a little bit less or one time, and
Speaker 1: I'm so ashamed of that. I'm never gonna been I
Speaker 1: shoplifted once, I have trouble cleaning my room. Everything you
Speaker 1: do is you're just trying your best. Like you're just
Speaker 1: a person who's in pain, so like let it go, um.
Speaker 1: And so I'm just it's like a nice reminder for
Speaker 1: myself that when I feel I think that if I
Speaker 1: wouldn't have met with Ian and had that conversation, I
Speaker 1: think I would have just said and Noah's here and
Speaker 1: not said it, But I'm just like, I'm not a
Speaker 1: bad person because I don't know how to pronounce your
Speaker 1: last name. I love you, It doesn't it's just because
Speaker 1: I don't know your last name and I have. You know,
Speaker 1: I felt really bad forgetting my friend's birthday last night.
Speaker 1: Certain people react the way Noah is. She would never
Speaker 1: be like, how can you not know? But there are
Speaker 1: certain people that you know. I was that way for
Speaker 1: a little while with Collins because people add s on
Speaker 1: my last name and I'm like, are you even my friend?
Speaker 1: How do you not know that I don't have an
Speaker 1: s and those kind of people. It's tough because that's
Speaker 1: why we walk on eggshells when we we want to
Speaker 1: bring it up. But a lot of people react poor
Speaker 1: to the truth. So well, I don't know what to
Speaker 1: really do when someone reacts. Just came out. Well, we
Speaker 1: talk a lot about this. You and I talk a
Speaker 1: lot about this actually on the show of Like You.
Speaker 1: You and I are both scared of being someone being
Speaker 1: mad at us, being criticized, having it come back to us,
Speaker 1: well will you do this or the person us having
Speaker 1: to walk on eggles because you're so scared of the response,
Speaker 1: you're going to get from telling the truth right. And
Speaker 1: I actually just read a study on Reddit the other
Speaker 1: day that uh came out that said, you know, and
Speaker 1: I'm paraphrasing because I only read a third of things,
Speaker 1: and I probably only read a third of this headline,
Speaker 1: but it said that we underestimate how much people want
Speaker 1: constructive criticism. We are living in a society where we
Speaker 1: are so scared to offend people. We are also so
Speaker 1: fragilely egoed ourselves that we project that other people don't
Speaker 1: want constructive criticism. So studies have shown that we bite
Speaker 1: our tongue more often than not, and we shouldn't be
Speaker 1: doing that because what people actually do crave is hey, um,
Speaker 1: you know, and there's a way to present it obviously,
Speaker 1: but like I love what you've been doing, but here's
Speaker 1: a way that I can love what you're doing even more,
Speaker 1: And like you're not a bad person because you did
Speaker 1: it this other way. You're not wrong. Like even when
Speaker 1: it comes to sex, like I kind of there have
Speaker 1: been times in romantic situations for me where I am
Speaker 1: scared to voice what I like in bed because I
Speaker 1: don't want that person to feel like shame about doing
Speaker 1: it away that I didn't like and it's so stupid
Speaker 1: because like that one time that I was giving a
Speaker 1: hand job and my stupid ring that I can't get
Speaker 1: off like scratched the person. Like I there was a
Speaker 1: part of me that turned into seventeen year old Nikki
Speaker 1: that is like, I'm not perfect and I funked up,
Speaker 1: and like he hates me because I did this thing.
Speaker 1: I'm doing it wrong. And there was like a flash
Speaker 1: of like this deep shame of like I'm bad because
Speaker 1: I did something wrong, and I, you know, I almost
Speaker 1: like started pouting and was just like I don't even
Speaker 1: want to do it anymore. But then I'm like that
Speaker 1: is helpful for me to know, so this person I
Speaker 1: can give them more pleasure in the way they want
Speaker 1: that they're not doing this because they think I'm a
Speaker 1: bad person. And it's just so great to get older
Speaker 1: and forgive yourself for things. And I think you're right.
Speaker 1: Andrew is like there's so many times you don't say
Speaker 1: things because you're worried about the response, and those people
Speaker 1: that do go, oh my god, you don't even know
Speaker 1: how to pronounce my last name. It's Glazer. You've been
Speaker 1: saying glass or you're my us friend, how do you
Speaker 1: not know that the truth is that's on them. Like
Speaker 1: if people get mad at you because they're trying to
Speaker 1: make you feel like a bad person, because honestly they
Speaker 1: feel like a bad person in some way in their
Speaker 1: life and they are projecting. It always comes down to that,
Speaker 1: because people who forgive themselves for being humans and being
Speaker 1: flawed don't have that same aggression towards other people. So
Speaker 1: when you were met by someone who lashes out at you,
Speaker 1: like Andrew left on it to you in the past,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to get better at it. But this is
Speaker 1: something we've dealt with where you've been scared to confront
Speaker 1: me about something or to say something that you need
Speaker 1: or want from me, because you're scared I'm gonna say now,
Speaker 1: or like you're I'm gonna say no, which actually is
Speaker 1: an answer and I'm entitled to say no, which is
Speaker 1: in your Like we dealt with that, which is another
Speaker 1: whole bag of bullshit. But like when I respond in
Speaker 1: a way that is like Andrew can believe you didn't
Speaker 1: know that, why would you do that? And like that
Speaker 1: is me me being anxious that day because of some
Speaker 1: other ship, Like and I'm taking it on on you
Speaker 1: because you are the easiest. Like much like what you
Speaker 1: grab to soothe your anxiety, like for me, it's porn
Speaker 1: or masturbating or um over eating or you know, these
Speaker 1: things are things that get my dopamine up so that
Speaker 1: I don't have to feel anxious. Sometimes the thing that
Speaker 1: I grab that is, you know, better than drinking for me,
Speaker 1: better than kicking my dog, whatever else might happen if
Speaker 1: I didn't do those things. Sometimes that thing that's the
Speaker 1: least harmful thing I can do for myself and others
Speaker 1: is being a little bit of a bit to Andrew.
Speaker 1: And that doesn't mean that I chose the right thing
Speaker 1: in that moment. That was the only thing I could do.
Speaker 1: And this takes us really to the Will Smith thing
Speaker 1: because I've been thinking a lot about this, and what
Speaker 1: I realized was Will Smith is someone who is in
Speaker 1: immense pain. Immense pain because you don't do that unless
Speaker 1: you are, You just don't. And I'm getting to a
Speaker 1: place of real empathy for him because this is what
Speaker 1: happen in with will Smith. This is what I think
Speaker 1: based on how I respond to things and how I've
Speaker 1: lashed out. When he got that look from Jada after
Speaker 1: he laughed and processed the joke, and he got that
Speaker 1: look from Jada for him, like we all are met
Speaker 1: with choices in life of like what am I gonna do?
Speaker 1: I'm feeling anxious right now, I'm I'm cornered, and there's
Speaker 1: a couple options for me right Sometimes for me those
Speaker 1: options are smoking pot that I do have in my
Speaker 1: drawer in my room still I know there's some pot
Speaker 1: or that I haven't done since August. Or it's eating
Speaker 1: this entire thing of hummus with my finger and kind
Speaker 1: of numbing out. For me, sometimes I over eat the
Speaker 1: hummus and I eat way more to the point where
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm sick, because that, to me was
Speaker 1: the easy, was the better choice for me, And those
Speaker 1: two there's the only thing, two things I had to
Speaker 1: to soothe my anxiety right now. For will Smith in
Speaker 1: that moment, he is in a similar situation. He does
Speaker 1: not have He can't meditate, He he doesn't have the
Speaker 1: options to soothe his anxiety in that moment. First of all,
Speaker 1: he has anxiety about fucking He's already had jokes about
Speaker 1: Jada made. He already knows that he's going to feel
Speaker 1: the wrath of her for like her being in a
Speaker 1: bad mood because of these jokes later on, or whatever
Speaker 1: is gonna happen afterwards. He's already thinking of that because
Speaker 1: there's been a couple of jokes already, right, you don't
Speaker 1: know what else is going on in their lives. And
Speaker 1: then they get to that moment and he's feeling anxiety
Speaker 1: about the ward coming up. They get to the moment
Speaker 1: Chris Rock says a joke. Will laughs uncomfortably because he's
Speaker 1: probably just thinking about other things. Didn't even hear what
Speaker 1: Chris Rock said. He looks over at Jada and he
Speaker 1: sees the face that she gives him, and what he
Speaker 1: knows is on the other side of that look, the note,
Speaker 1: whether whether it's her punitive silence in the limo on
Speaker 1: the ride of the party, whether it's weeks of her
Speaker 1: shutting him out, whether it's her whatever it is. Right
Speaker 1: then he had two options. Deal with Chris Rock and
Speaker 1: lash out at him and like get rid of this
Speaker 1: anxiety by doing that, or deal with what is on
Speaker 1: the other side of that look from Jada. That was
Speaker 1: his two options, fight or flight in that moment, and
Speaker 1: he shows deal with the Chris Rock thing. Now, Okay,
Speaker 1: so now he has a new corner. He's choosing that
Speaker 1: one because it's it literally is less painful to him
Speaker 1: than whatever is on the other side of that Jada look,
Speaker 1: which leads me to believe their relationship and what is
Speaker 1: going on there is messier than we know, because he
Speaker 1: shows punching Chris Rock over dealing with that Jada look.
Speaker 1: So we don't know what's going on the relationship, but
Speaker 1: I get I'm guessing it's not great. So then he
Speaker 1: goes to Chris Rock and now he has another corner
Speaker 1: he's backed into. Do I say something back to him
Speaker 1: or do I punch him? Let's say those are his
Speaker 1: two options. He is very A couple of these are like,
Speaker 1: you know, you're in a car and you see a
Speaker 1: car crash in front of you, and you either go
Speaker 1: around it or you push on your brakes. What are
Speaker 1: you gonna do swerve? Which we always have these options,
Speaker 1: which one am I going to survive? More? And for him,
Speaker 1: the option that was better in that moment that he
Speaker 1: chose was punching, slapping slap punching. I think Will Smith
Speaker 1: because either he didn't have the right words or oh sorry,
Speaker 1: Chris Rock. Either Will Smith did not have the right
Speaker 1: words or he he does, isn't a man that could
Speaker 1: put his anger into words in that moment, or he
Speaker 1: thought that maybe his words were going to make him
Speaker 1: look stupid or or affect his life and his livelihood
Speaker 1: and cause more pain than the punch. But he only
Speaker 1: did the best that he could in that situation. And
Speaker 1: I'm serious, like, I know, that's like, that's the best
Speaker 1: he could do. Guys. Literally, Yes, that was all Will
Speaker 1: Smith could do in that situation. I am not angry
Speaker 1: at him for it. And you know what, the academy
Speaker 1: not pulling him out was the best they could fucking do.
Speaker 1: And you know what, it wasn't It wasn't fucking good.
Speaker 1: They should have done something. And they had a lot
Speaker 1: of time to make those decisions to pull him out
Speaker 1: and to have repercussions for what happened. It was out
Speaker 1: of the options he had in that moment. In those options,
Speaker 1: like he he didn't I know, You're like, well, he
Speaker 1: could have just what about the option of not saying
Speaker 1: any But for him, that option was more painful. But
Speaker 1: it's the best of two. It's the least not best,
Speaker 1: being the least harm out of the two options being
Speaker 1: the best, the devil, the the best for him because
Speaker 1: in that moment, he didn't have any other option. Like
Speaker 1: if he did, if he had the ability to stay
Speaker 1: like he would have. I think, like I always say
Speaker 1: about like when people, I think Chris Rock epitomizes every
Speaker 1: single joke he's heard over the last ten years, especially
Speaker 1: recently about his wife. What's that? No, but Chris Rock
Speaker 1: empitomizes No, I am, I'm saying it right. What I'm
Speaker 1: saying though, is that at that moment, there's been so
Speaker 1: much build up we have before that moment that Chris
Speaker 1: Rock could have been anything like he was just the
Speaker 1: the face of a million jokes Will Smith heard over
Speaker 1: the last ten years. And what I have learned is well,
Speaker 1: that was the corner he was backed into, a corner
Speaker 1: that was the final showdown for him. Was it like
Speaker 1: that was the moment where it was like either yeah,
Speaker 1: I know, but I've I've heard staying quiet for Will
Speaker 1: Smith before, with all the jokes that were made against
Speaker 1: what Jada pinkets Smith before, when he was staying quiet
Speaker 1: and put up with it, that was him choosing quiet
Speaker 1: over punching someone, quiet over punching someone. And it got
Speaker 1: to the point we're staying quiet and putting up with
Speaker 1: whatever Jada was gonna Whatever was on the other side
Speaker 1: of that Jada look was more harmful to him than
Speaker 1: doing what he did. He did the thing that was
Speaker 1: going to cause the least harm to him, which ended
Speaker 1: up being punching Chris Rock. But that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: It's like, You're right, it was all. The other thing
Speaker 1: about will Smith is that, you know, I've heard this
Speaker 1: from other people, so obviously I'm just repeating what I've heard.
Speaker 1: But in his book, it talks about his own mother
Speaker 1: getting abused by his father, and he never stood up
Speaker 1: for his own mother, So he never stood up for
Speaker 1: the woman that he loved, that he respected. That that
Speaker 1: was that that he cared about the most in the world,
Speaker 1: which is now obviously Jada, even though oh she fucking
Speaker 1: cheats on him. How could you fucking care about her life?
Speaker 1: Is weird? You can still care about someone like that. Yes,
Speaker 1: that's what was all. It all culminated to that moment,
Speaker 1: and it's he didn't have an option. He didn't know
Speaker 1: it was going to be that moment. He wasn't saving.
Speaker 1: It wasn't he it was It was a volcanic explosion
Speaker 1: that was rumbling for a while, and that was the moment.
Speaker 1: But we do this all the time, Like there are
Speaker 1: times when I will get into a fight with my
Speaker 1: boyfriend over the tiniest little thing because it happens at
Speaker 1: the moment that my defenses are weakened. I'm on my period,
Speaker 1: I'm more emotional, I have been, you know, pushing things
Speaker 1: down that I'm upset about, and it all comes out
Speaker 1: over this dumb thing. It's not about the fucking whatever
Speaker 1: it is him making the wrong turn, it's about all
Speaker 1: the other ship. It was just that it was just
Speaker 1: the thing that that it was the best he could do.
Speaker 1: And will Smith is someone who's in pain and was
Speaker 1: doing the best he could do in that moment, which
Speaker 1: wasn't very good, but it was all he could do.
Speaker 1: On the annoying thing that I see is like, you know,
Speaker 1: so he finally stands up for his woman, right, and
Speaker 1: then everyone goes, God, he's so emasculated. He just listens
Speaker 1: to whatever his woman like, you can't win, Like you
Speaker 1: stand up for your for your wife, right. Obviously the
Speaker 1: slap could have gone about differently, but like the idea
Speaker 1: that like, oh, you're such a fucking pussy for being tough,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like the guy can't win,
Speaker 1: so either he sits there and he takes it and
Speaker 1: he's emasculated, or he hits the guy and he's also emasculated,
Speaker 1: and all these like tough alpha males like no, you
Speaker 1: don't listen to your woman there, you just take the joke.
Speaker 1: It's like, I don't know this whole like meathead culture about.
Speaker 1: And yet he he actually got up and stood up
Speaker 1: for her, So I don't. Yeah, I I you know,
Speaker 1: it wasn't the right way to stand up because if
Speaker 1: you really, if you would have had time to think
Speaker 1: this over, it was just him being in a car
Speaker 1: accident and there was a crash in front of him.
Speaker 1: Does he swerve or does he put on his brakes?
Speaker 1: We always have these like two things that we get
Speaker 1: aside and split second, and he chose one that was
Speaker 1: like either either way it was going to be messy
Speaker 1: for him. He didn't have he didn't come into it.
Speaker 1: If you're premeditating, If he had ideas of like if
Speaker 1: someone comes at Jada, I don't give a funk who
Speaker 1: it is, tonight's tonight. Even that premeditation is the best
Speaker 1: he can do in that moment. No, I know, it's
Speaker 1: it's an interesting way to look at it, you know,
Speaker 1: because schedule. I'm feeling for everyone in this. Everyone's doing
Speaker 1: their best and some people are People can't help their
Speaker 1: brains and what they do. I just got to remember
Speaker 1: that before I get on, you know, just just start
Speaker 1: hating everyone, and everyone's doing the best they can do.
Speaker 1: All right, Let's go to break and come back with
Speaker 1: a fun show of news and laughs. Alright, we're back.
Speaker 1: Let's get to the news. Wait, before we get to
Speaker 1: the news, let's get to your tour. Oh, thank you
Speaker 1: for that, UM tour DA it's coming up you guys.
Speaker 1: We are going to Austin, Texas. Uh. We are also
Speaker 1: going to New Orleans. Austin is April. I believe New
Speaker 1: Orleans is, um, New Orleans April one. We're gonna um
Speaker 1: just talk about these cities a little bit, because when
Speaker 1: we talked about Winnipeg, it got people interested. And I
Speaker 1: just like learning about a little I've never learned about
Speaker 1: cities before I go there, and maybe this will help
Speaker 1: me come up with some jokes for places I want
Speaker 1: to talk about. Austin. Um, these are some things I
Speaker 1: just came up with ten facts about Austin, Texas you
Speaker 1: didn't know and if you might just like knee jerk,
Speaker 1: want to plan a trip to Austin. There is This
Speaker 1: is part of the Moontower Comedy Festival that I'm doing.
Speaker 1: It's a whole weekend of all the best comics in
Speaker 1: the country coming together and doing shows. What a great
Speaker 1: place to just go plan a girl's trip. Planet Romantic.
Speaker 1: We can just go by yourself if you're a comedy
Speaker 1: fan and just binge comedy. So I'll be there Thursday
Speaker 1: night doing two shows. Um, but there's comedy live podcast
Speaker 1: happening all weekend long, and I just I really recommend it.
Speaker 1: If that sounds good, do you plan a plan a
Speaker 1: trip around it? So? Um, Austin has the only nude
Speaker 1: beach in all of Texas. Hippie Hollow is a clothing
Speaker 1: optional beach located on Lake Travis. Oh my god, I
Speaker 1: love that. Have you ever been to a nude beach?
Speaker 1: Just in like layer wearing layers topless? I just love
Speaker 1: the idea of a guy that like puts on a
Speaker 1: winter coat and goes d But no, I've never you've
Speaker 1: been topless before wearing Israel or something. No, it was
Speaker 1: in um St Martin. I would love to go to
Speaker 1: a nude beach. I don't want to have like my
Speaker 1: I don't want to get like sand in my vagina though,
Speaker 1: because it already does when you're wearing a swimsuit. And
Speaker 1: it's just like, havn't sand in your sandwich? Which you know,
Speaker 1: I got one done in um Austin. Uh um, let's see,
Speaker 1: I had no idea. Aren't interesting? God? These are the worst,
Speaker 1: uh Austin. If there's okay, these are all the worst facts.
Speaker 1: It's just like promoting things. Um. The Texas State Capitol
Speaker 1: Building is the second largest capital building. Who cares. Austin
Speaker 1: is one of the sunniest cities in America at three
Speaker 1: D sixty five days, Austin gets an average of three
Speaker 1: hundred days of sunshine. That's awesome. I lived in Boulder
Speaker 1: and they also um For a year I lived in
Speaker 1: Boulder going to school, and that was also a place
Speaker 1: that set celebrated three D days of sunshine. And man,
Speaker 1: does that affect your fucking mood? You know? Kerson is
Speaker 1: one of those lights that she sits in front of
Speaker 1: in the winter when she's in Kansas. City to like
Speaker 1: give her. I don't know if it's red light, but
Speaker 1: you know it's just like for people with UM seasonal
Speaker 1: affect disorder or whatever that like, and she says it
Speaker 1: really works. Um, I definitely feel a mood shift when
Speaker 1: the sun is out. But I'm also one of those
Speaker 1: pop that loves the rain because it gives me an
Speaker 1: excuse to be depressed, which I think actually makes the
Speaker 1: most fun. I had in Austin. I took a pontoon
Speaker 1: boat down Lake Travis. That was cool. And then you
Speaker 1: go on a I don't know if you ever done
Speaker 1: Have you ever done a rope swing? It's uh like
Speaker 1: I did ropes courses like you know in middle school
Speaker 1: and stuff for like tema rope swing into the lake
Speaker 1: like swing where you let go. I've never been less grace,
Speaker 1: Like you only fall ten feet, but you would have
Speaker 1: thought I fell six thousand feet. The way I hit
Speaker 1: the water, It's like I hit it in a way
Speaker 1: that some it looked like God threw me down to
Speaker 1: try to kill me. But it was cool. It was fun.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't but yeah, no, people do it all the time.
Speaker 1: The best is like you see those videos where the
Speaker 1: person let's go a little early and they missed a
Speaker 1: lake completely, which is, oh yeah, I mean you know what,
Speaker 1: I have done a rope swing off a yacht and
Speaker 1: that's not to brag, but it is. It was off.
Speaker 1: Amy rented us the sign Felt's yacht in um the
Speaker 1: Bahamas for like all of her girlfriends, and we took
Speaker 1: we had to take a seaplane there and we're on
Speaker 1: this amazing fucking yacht where they I remember they had
Speaker 1: a whole boat crew like below deck that they ironed
Speaker 1: our sheets, which I thought was like, why are they
Speaker 1: ironing our sheets? That's so stupid, But um, it was
Speaker 1: the nicest experience of my life. But they had a
Speaker 1: rope swing that went off the thing, and I remember
Speaker 1: being so scared that I was gonna let go at
Speaker 1: the wrong time and just like slam into the side
Speaker 1: of it and just like flop in and like it's
Speaker 1: just ropes, and like thinking, your upper body strength is
Speaker 1: like more than you, like I always overestimate how strong
Speaker 1: I am, but I looked pretty good. Actually, she posted
Speaker 1: um and then Austin, I'm just I mean, Austin is
Speaker 1: just like a cool fucking city. The people are cool,
Speaker 1: comedy is always great there, i haven't been back in
Speaker 1: so long, and I've moved this date a million times,
Speaker 1: so like, I'm so appreciative of anyone coming out to
Speaker 1: the shows, and um, I'm gonna have a lot of
Speaker 1: comedians and like, um, you're gonna be there, but I'm
Speaker 1: gonna have like a lot like I think Dr Drew's
Speaker 1: coming to one show. Like I'm getting a lot of
Speaker 1: like the comedians that are in town are coming to
Speaker 1: my show. So there's going to be an added element
Speaker 1: of me feeling like very excited to like perform for
Speaker 1: my peers because there's usually when you're performing, there's not
Speaker 1: other comedians in town like scoping at your show, and
Speaker 1: so that'll be fun too. And um, yeah, I went
Speaker 1: on stage last night for the first time since December,
Speaker 1: and so I did three sets. Dude, it was so fun.
Speaker 1: I'm working on this new bit that I have. I
Speaker 1: always knew I was going to talk about this one
Speaker 1: thing that happened to me, and it was always so
Speaker 1: embarrassing and kind of like shameful and something that I
Speaker 1: thought that people would judge me for that I never
Speaker 1: I just needed space from it, and I've had a
Speaker 1: year away from it and now I'm ready to like
Speaker 1: talk about it. And for the first time last night,
Speaker 1: because all their phones are tucked away in these little
Speaker 1: cases and things like that, I felt comfortable, Like I
Speaker 1: went on stage was I wrote an entire new ten
Speaker 1: minutes last night. I like sat down and wrote all
Speaker 1: these jokes, and it's hard to memorize all of them,
Speaker 1: but they really hit. There's some really special stuff going on,
Speaker 1: and I'm really excited about my next special because I
Speaker 1: have been talking to my boyfriend about it and we're
Speaker 1: like talking about what I want to do. Like we're
Speaker 1: watching Bo Burnham a lot the other day and we
Speaker 1: were just talking about like this is because he's never
Speaker 1: seen bo Burnham. It was one of those things where
Speaker 1: he was like, oh, this kid's annoying and like wrote
Speaker 1: him off and I was like, you just trust me,
Speaker 1: You've got to get into it. And he was blown
Speaker 1: away and really inspired and was like, Nikki, this is
Speaker 1: what you need to do with the guitar, Like this
Speaker 1: is you you like, And that's the way I felt.
Speaker 1: I was like, I wanna I need to like start
Speaker 1: saying more and being like as honest as bow is
Speaker 1: and I have been doing that, I think, but there's
Speaker 1: a new story I want to tell and um, he
Speaker 1: told me, which is a great way to look at
Speaker 1: anything creatively you're going through. It's like every joke you write,
Speaker 1: everything you do, should answer the question, what's the story
Speaker 1: you're trying to tell? Like what is what? What are
Speaker 1: you trying to tell me? What's the story you're trying
Speaker 1: to tell? Like he said that he worked on a
Speaker 1: production like Anytime of Me works with this production company,
Speaker 1: Done and Dusted. They do these big events like the
Speaker 1: Emmy's Grammys and like I Heart Radio Awards and they're
Speaker 1: you know, the main guy, David Jammy always asks does
Speaker 1: this what story are we trying to tell? That's what
Speaker 1: they always start with. And I love that, Like even
Speaker 1: an awards show has a story to tell. And you know,
Speaker 1: this is getting into like Andrew of you being like,
Speaker 1: but sometimes I just like to make a silly joke.
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean any doesn't have a like an overarching meeting,
Speaker 1: but that's a story to tell. It's like silliness is important,
Speaker 1: like that could be the story. So I'm just excited,
Speaker 1: and um, I'm also excited. We're going to New Orleans, um,
Speaker 1: and I want to just do a couple of fun
Speaker 1: facts about New Orleans. Uh, and also Andrew obviously lived there.
Speaker 1: All right, but before Andrew says one, I have an
Speaker 1: interesting one. Did you know that Bourbon Street is not
Speaker 1: named after the alcohol named after the chicken? What's no,
Speaker 1: it's named after a royal family. Is Bourbon the drink
Speaker 1: named after the royal family too? Then they both named
Speaker 1: I don't look at that fact? All right? Okay? Bourbon
Speaker 1: Street that is New Orleans for me has been tough
Speaker 1: because I don't drink anymo. I wish I would have
Speaker 1: gone to New Orleans when I drank. I mean, it's
Speaker 1: such a great city. Um, I hope that we maybe
Speaker 1: let's stay an extra day there or something too, Like
Speaker 1: I want to just have you take me around, Andrew, like,
Speaker 1: where would you take me in New Orleans? As someone
Speaker 1: who like has been on Bourbon Street has kind of
Speaker 1: done like I don't like beignets, I don't like fried food,
Speaker 1: I don't like drinking. I love like music, Like where
Speaker 1: would you take me? I have the perfect thing. It's
Speaker 1: it's my second fun fact. Yes, New Orleans features many
Speaker 1: above ground tombs. I love those, Yes, many literally thousands.
Speaker 1: They can't put them under underground because of the water level,
Speaker 1: they'll just be floated down there. I love, I love
Speaker 1: going through. Some interesting fact about New Orleans is uh
Speaker 1: like you could live everyone like lives pretty much next
Speaker 1: to a cemetery where everyone's above ground. It's just like
Speaker 1: and it and it becomes in a way where it's like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, yeah, all those people are just floating like
Speaker 1: like just about Like I don't know, it's like wild
Speaker 1: how like normal people like New Orleans, Like you lived
Speaker 1: in St. Louis, now you lived in Florida, has lived
Speaker 1: in New York? Like what's the vibe in New Orleans?
Speaker 1: What are the people? Well, here's the thing. When you
Speaker 1: go to college, it's you are like, um, excluded from
Speaker 1: kind of the culture or the people from there. You know,
Speaker 1: you kind of stick to your own. That being said,
Speaker 1: you know, there's a shirt or a phrase that's very
Speaker 1: popular in New Orleans called third World and proud of It.
Speaker 1: And I guess the idea is like loud conversation, saying
Speaker 1: the wrong things, dark humor, um obviously you know, throwing
Speaker 1: up on your own genitals, but like really like just
Speaker 1: so they've seen some ship and they're okay with like
Speaker 1: so that show can be like dirtier. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: you could be can be touchy. It's not gonna be
Speaker 1: like groans. Like these people can get it almost anywhere.
Speaker 1: It Yeah, hard to like entertain hard to shock them,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, Oh, that's going to
Speaker 1: be a challenge. Come to our New Orleans show and
Speaker 1: watch us try to like get you to clutch your
Speaker 1: pearls or your you know, beads that you got for
Speaker 1: show on your tits. And I feel like with New
Speaker 1: Orleans too, it's like just one of those cities where whatever,
Speaker 1: you know, when I did drink, but you sit at
Speaker 1: a bar and you you feel very like very quickly
Speaker 1: comfortable talking to the person next to you that you've
Speaker 1: never met, and you might hear a story that you
Speaker 1: that most people would probably not tell anyone, but it's
Speaker 1: like the story they lead with. And I think that's
Speaker 1: kind of where I've gotten that kind of attitude from.
Speaker 1: I remember going from New Orleans to then living in
Speaker 1: like Hermosa Beach, California, like straight from there, and I
Speaker 1: was not ready for that for people putting on airs
Speaker 1: and like being more like just uh uptight, and so
Speaker 1: I would lean into getting up in her moosa to
Speaker 1: the point where I couldn't walk to prove that I
Speaker 1: was normal, Like that was a mentor this too, but
Speaker 1: like to prove how New Orleans I was. And you
Speaker 1: guys don't get it. I have some Yeah, I wanna,
Speaker 1: I really wanna. Um. I love this. This is actually
Speaker 1: so helpful because I feel like when I go to cities,
Speaker 1: I don't try to know anything because I'm just like
Speaker 1: I get scared of getting it wrong or being like
Speaker 1: hating an outside or hating a tourist that doesn't know.
Speaker 1: So I don't even attempt to know because what I
Speaker 1: it's like not asking no how to pronounce her name,
Speaker 1: because it's like I'm so ashamed that I don't know it,
Speaker 1: that I don't even know what. I'm glad to get
Speaker 1: into this. I would I would take you to like
Speaker 1: this place called Tipotina's, which is just a small music
Speaker 1: venue where like I don't know if you've ever seen
Speaker 1: like a band called the Meters. It's like this brass band.
Speaker 1: It's like fifteen guys all on you know, the stage
Speaker 1: at the same the energy is just so p funk there,
Speaker 1: uh you know in the funk Adelics, is it p funk. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Um anyhow, wait, oh yeah, yes, I know who that is.
Speaker 1: I think Wait, I don't have long draft. It's like
Speaker 1: colorful dreads. He was in PCU the movie anyhow. But
Speaker 1: like I think live music for you in New Orleans
Speaker 1: that would be something that you would absolutely love any
Speaker 1: energy of it. Um, Okay, that was awesome. Maybe we'll
Speaker 1: talk a little bit more about those cities. But uh,
Speaker 1: you know, every every show, I think we want to
Speaker 1: cover a couple of cities that were coming to just
Speaker 1: so we can learn about them and get the people
Speaker 1: that are from They're excited about it. And if you
Speaker 1: have any fun New Orleans or Austin facts to share
Speaker 1: with us, please send them in and we might feature
Speaker 1: them on the show. Okay, let's get to the news.
Speaker 1: It's Wednesday, folks, you know what that means. It is Wednesday.
Speaker 1: It's hump day. Baby. We're in the middle there with Tony.
Speaker 1: Is gonna go up from there? Or is it going
Speaker 1: to decline? No one knows really, but having all the
Speaker 1: swells out there and uh, back to you know, all right.
Speaker 1: Sandra Bullock swears by the seven dollar drug store product
Speaker 1: for youthful skin. At fifty seven can you guys, guess
Speaker 1: what it is swears by this product. I'm guessing your
Speaker 1: Gina Cleaner cleanser. Um, I'm gonna guess coconut oil. Okay, well, uh,
Speaker 1: you're both wrong. It is preparation. H She said that
Speaker 1: while starring as Gracie Hart in This Congeniality, she took
Speaker 1: away a beauty hack and said, I didn't realize that
Speaker 1: putting hemorrhoid ointment on your face is acceptable in the
Speaker 1: beauty business. But apparently but cream does help lines around
Speaker 1: the eyes. Okay, I guess it like plumps them up
Speaker 1: like I've heard of this before for like just um puffiness.
Speaker 1: I love it constricts blood vessels, which can reduce puffiness. Okay, sorry,
Speaker 1: that's what I meant. Um. I don't know why I was.
Speaker 1: I was thinking like like filler, like like usually when
Speaker 1: lines go away, it's her underry. Well. I was also, yeah,
Speaker 1: I've got a tail coming out of my cornea. Um. No,
Speaker 1: I guess I think of like I love these little
Speaker 1: because from yesterday I was on set, I did beat
Speaker 1: Bobby Flay, and I my makeup artist goes like, oh,
Speaker 1: you have beautiful skin. I've been hearing that a lot. Recently,
Speaker 1: and I you know, it's spirolactin. Known is the hundred
Speaker 1: milligrams I take every day that cleared up my acne.
Speaker 1: But honestly, I washed my faith with like any old
Speaker 1: face wash. It's I don't really have a brand. And
Speaker 1: then fucking that stupid serum from the ordinary plants, squalling,
Speaker 1: plant squalling seven dollars for a thing. It's I swear
Speaker 1: by it, you guys, Like it's just that's all I need.
Speaker 1: And it's so simple, and I've bought things that are
Speaker 1: hundreds of dollars, and I think it just can be
Speaker 1: so much more simple than people think. And yes, I
Speaker 1: I'll And the filler I had underneath my eyes was
Speaker 1: one of the best, like you know, invasive kind of
Speaker 1: things that I've done, and I've done a lot of them.
Speaker 1: That and m sculpt on my butt gave me a
Speaker 1: butt and it hasn't gone away. And maybe all so
Speaker 1: like eating properly in gaining weight has given me a butt,
Speaker 1: but um, I'm sculpted on my butt. And then um,
Speaker 1: the filler underneath my eyes really helped with like just
Speaker 1: the hollow eyes. And the thing is, I'm still lovable
Speaker 1: with or without it. But um, there are when it
Speaker 1: comes to skincare, you don't need to go crazy. And
Speaker 1: I would die for any bestie to call in with
Speaker 1: like here is or here's my like cheap thing that
Speaker 1: I swear by, Like do you guys know what? Do
Speaker 1: you have anything in your arsenal that's like just you'll
Speaker 1: always use the rest of your life In terms of
Speaker 1: hair care skincare, One thing that I learned is that um,
Speaker 1: what does she say? Eyebrows are the window to your
Speaker 1: face or something so like if you have a good
Speaker 1: arch in your eyebrows, it's like an instant facelift. Love
Speaker 1: that I learned a new trick that I want to
Speaker 1: share that I rarely find a new trick when you're
Speaker 1: using an eye pencil. Uh in this and men listening,
Speaker 1: maybe show this with women in your life or if
Speaker 1: you're a guy who wears guyliner. Um, when you're using
Speaker 1: a pencil, sometimes it's like it's it kind of like
Speaker 1: doesn't go well, like it's a little too cold, and
Speaker 1: it's kind of gets like it doesn't like smoothly go
Speaker 1: on because it's like a pencil. I saw my makeup
Speaker 1: parts one time. Just do a lighter and hold it
Speaker 1: over the lighter flame a little bit to warm it up,
Speaker 1: and then it goes on smoothly, like it's almost liquid eyeliner.
Speaker 1: And I thought that was like such a cool trick,
Speaker 1: but I did it the other day and I burnt
Speaker 1: my eyes. So be careful. It doesn't take a lot,
Speaker 1: just a couple of swipes and then test it on
Speaker 1: your hands like it's baby formula. Um okay. Next story.
Speaker 1: Social media withdrawal symptoms differ in older and younger people.
Speaker 1: One study found that older participants reported greater psychological distress
Speaker 1: upon removing their mobile devices, while younger people reported feeling better,
Speaker 1: less anxious, and less depressed. The theory is older people
Speaker 1: may have more stressful lives and need an escape, so
Speaker 1: they use their phones like a sedative. In contrast, younger
Speaker 1: people maybe seeking excitement, so they use their mobile device
Speaker 1: as a stimulant. Interesting because you would think that people
Speaker 1: whose brains have been formed with mobile devices would be
Speaker 1: more dependent on it. But I do find that there
Speaker 1: was I forget I was around a bunch of youths once.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna get into details because that's my own
Speaker 1: personal business, but I remember being around youth and like
Speaker 1: having them say, like, like even a meal. I remember
Speaker 1: telling me like, he goes yes, and as I just
Speaker 1: go to the coffee shop and I leave my phone
Speaker 1: at home, which to me, I would never do. I
Speaker 1: just I might put my phone in my bag for
Speaker 1: a little bit or put it face down when I'm
Speaker 1: having lunch with my friends, so I'm not triggered by
Speaker 1: like lighting up, but leaving it at home, I would
Speaker 1: not be able to do that. And I think that
Speaker 1: I think that sometimes, Yeah, maybe your life gets so
Speaker 1: stressful it's it's harder to manage these these because what
Speaker 1: your phone is is exactly what we're talking about. It
Speaker 1: is a way to numb out so that you're not
Speaker 1: feeling your feelings because you're having anxiety, and so you
Speaker 1: go to your phone to like not think because it's
Speaker 1: too painful to you're avoiding pain. And I think when
Speaker 1: you get older, you get weaker to to make good
Speaker 1: decisions for yourself. You just have less options because you're
Speaker 1: fucking tired, you're more in pain, because you're fucking weighed
Speaker 1: down by life, and it's just the easiest thing to
Speaker 1: to not give up. Andrew, Yeah, I think like social media,
Speaker 1: I guess you could replace that with like an actual drug. Right,
Speaker 1: So when you're young and you're feeling anxious, where you
Speaker 1: might fucking throw in some cocaine in your nose to
Speaker 1: fucking wild out, to to forget about everything and to
Speaker 1: just live in the moment and be present. When you're
Speaker 1: fucking sixty, the idea of cutting up cocaine is just
Speaker 1: like I don't know, I mean, I think you'll die,
Speaker 1: but like like you want, you want to numb out,
Speaker 1: but you don't want to, you don't need, you don't
Speaker 1: want it to be harmful, Yeah, at least harm And
Speaker 1: I guess more younger you are, you're more apt to
Speaker 1: do things that are will numb you out way more
Speaker 1: than your phone that you don't know yet are like oh,
Speaker 1: yeah that's true too. Yeah, yeah, that's true too. And
Speaker 1: also I think that's your point is like young people
Speaker 1: are like, oh, I'll just do cocaine or I'll do
Speaker 1: oh no, no, no, I just meant their using their
Speaker 1: phone as like Noah said, as like a stimulant. So
Speaker 1: like the idea of being like, oh, they would rather
Speaker 1: have not rather do cocaine, but like their phone is
Speaker 1: cocaine to them. It's like, oh, I want to see
Speaker 1: something fucking wild on my phone. Meanwhile, an older person
Speaker 1: thing z X. You know what I mean, like an
Speaker 1: older person. She's saying older people have more are get
Speaker 1: more anxious when they're away from their phones. That was
Speaker 1: the study, So younger polical distress. No, no, but my
Speaker 1: point is is that they use social media as a
Speaker 1: sedative and younger people use as a stimulant. That's what Okaya,
Speaker 1: Oh that makes sense. Um. You know you don't see
Speaker 1: an old person taking speed usually because then they'll just
Speaker 1: crash your wheelchair into Like, yes you do. Really, we
Speaker 1: had a president on oh have present. Yeah, it's like caffeine.
Speaker 1: We're all on speed in some way, like a d
Speaker 1: D meds that just took ten of them. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean it's like speed is rampant things that uppers. I
Speaker 1: hate downers, Like I I definitely always loved alcohol, which
Speaker 1: is a downer, but um uppers. I don't have addictive
Speaker 1: behavior towards like I did cocaine. I was like, I
Speaker 1: love this, but it wasn't like I want to do it.
Speaker 1: More like I'm just like Okay, that was good, and
Speaker 1: I need to like stay. It's I don't have the
Speaker 1: downers I get addicted to uppers. Uh, but but yeah,
Speaker 1: we're all trying to mitigate it. Up and down, up
Speaker 1: and down. Um, let's take a quick breaker actually right now,
Speaker 1: and we'll come back and do more headlines. Alright, we're back, now,
Speaker 1: what what's the next headline? All right? A relationship expert
Speaker 1: has revealed the three real reasons that couples are triggered
Speaker 1: to argue. The first underlying dynamic is about power and control,
Speaker 1: which may sound like you need to unload the dishwasher
Speaker 1: my way because that's the right way. The person responding
Speaker 1: badly to that because they feel like they're being bossed
Speaker 1: around and they're losing a sense of control exactly. The
Speaker 1: second underlying cause for arguing is respect and recognition. For example,
Speaker 1: you always make plans without even asking me first m
Speaker 1: Do you even realize how much I'm doing around the house?
Speaker 1: Very common, right, Like I need to be I need
Speaker 1: to be men as we know, Noah, need masculine energy,
Speaker 1: whether that you're the female or male or whatever in
Speaker 1: the relationship. If you're the masculine energy, you need to
Speaker 1: be respected by the person to feel loved. And I
Speaker 1: think a lot of women fuck that. I realized that
Speaker 1: was The problem in my relationship was that I didn't.
Speaker 1: I didn't respect my partner the way that he I
Speaker 1: thought I did, but I didn't, And now I have.
Speaker 1: I made the things. I made the right voices for
Speaker 1: myself to find the ways that I have the most
Speaker 1: deep respect for this man that I never had before.
Speaker 1: And it's as soon as I was able to tap
Speaker 1: into that, and it's real, and it's like fucking like
Speaker 1: I've never felt before the kind of respect that I
Speaker 1: have for my boyfriend. As soon as I tapped into that,
Speaker 1: everything that he was that he often would feel triggered
Speaker 1: by or feel like insecure about, completely went away. It
Speaker 1: made him feel so safe because men need to be
Speaker 1: respected and women need to be you know, cherished, And
Speaker 1: it allowed him to cherish me when I respected him.
Speaker 1: But respect is huge. Um what's the third? The third
Speaker 1: one is being caring and closeness. And it may sound
Speaker 1: like why am I the only one to text? Mm hmmm? Um,
Speaker 1: I mean a lot like why am I the only one?
Speaker 1: And the fourth is I kea yeah? Um yeah, it's
Speaker 1: like I mean all of this every argument that I
Speaker 1: get into, uh, in my relationship or in past relationships
Speaker 1: has always come from a place for me of fear
Speaker 1: of abandonment, fear that he's going to leave me so
Speaker 1: I leave him first, fear that um anger that I
Speaker 1: am having to not be myself because this person can't
Speaker 1: handle it, which really is about me not feeling like
Speaker 1: I'm good enough for this person because I should be
Speaker 1: able to be myself, and it it has led to
Speaker 1: resentment of like, God, I have to like act like
Speaker 1: I'm okay right now because this guy will be mad
Speaker 1: at me if I'm not okay, and then I get
Speaker 1: mad at him. But really it's on me. I shouldn't
Speaker 1: be with someone that can't handle me. What am I doing?
Speaker 1: So it was always It's always coming from a place
Speaker 1: of insecurity and me and feeling unlovable. And the only
Speaker 1: reason I'm able to have a good relationship right now
Speaker 1: is because I love myself. I just know it. And
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean that if you don't love yourself you
Speaker 1: can't be in a relationship, but to in a really
Speaker 1: healthy one, I do believe that you have to feel
Speaker 1: you have to respect yourself enough to let's to love
Speaker 1: someone else. I just I wasn't capable of it before,
Speaker 1: and I didn't even know I wasn't and I was
Speaker 1: doing my best, and I'm glad that it took me
Speaker 1: this long. But I I The other day, I was
Speaker 1: watching the reality show with Chris did I share this anecdote?
Speaker 1: And I was watching the first episode and he was
Speaker 1: watching it through his fucking fingers because he doesn't want
Speaker 1: to see himself. He's like embarrassed of like he just doesn't.
Speaker 1: He's like me. But I told him, you're so good
Speaker 1: on this, You're so adorable. We are so cute. I'm
Speaker 1: like rooting for us, like I'm watching a Nora Ephron film,
Speaker 1: Like we are so fucking cute. And for whatever reason,
Speaker 1: I've watched the pilot now three times. It was the
Speaker 1: third viewing with him, and I was watching it and
Speaker 1: I was like, I saw how much he loved me
Speaker 1: in it, Like I really saw it, and I was like,
Speaker 1: that guy loves that girl so much. I kind of
Speaker 1: stopped seeing myself. And I was also like that girl,
Speaker 1: she's a fucking lot, Like what a fucking guy this
Speaker 1: guy is? Like I always used to think I was
Speaker 1: such a fucking prize and like, why don't guys get it?
Speaker 1: And the thing is I am, obviously, but there's nothing
Speaker 1: wrong with me, but I am a lot. It takes
Speaker 1: a very special highly like um tolerant and like gentle,
Speaker 1: like forgiving and like secure man to be with someone
Speaker 1: who is so opinionated, loud talkie like as me. It
Speaker 1: just it doesn't mean that like anyone who can put
Speaker 1: up with me isn't special, but it takes a very
Speaker 1: unique person. And I was just so I just turned
Speaker 1: him and I go, thank you so much for loving
Speaker 1: that girl. She is so difficult and like she's adorable
Speaker 1: and I love her so much and she is doing
Speaker 1: the best she can. But that is a lot for
Speaker 1: someone to handle. And you're such a good man for
Speaker 1: loving her like she needs that love. And you're like,
Speaker 1: I just love you so much a loving her, and
Speaker 1: like thank you, because that's a lot. Like suddenly I
Speaker 1: saw like what he puts up with. Instead of me
Speaker 1: being like, you're welcome, I was like and of course,
Speaker 1: like I'm amazing, and I we laughed together, and I'm
Speaker 1: a very forgiving and affectionate person, I'm sexy and all
Speaker 1: these things that are great, but I'm also a fucking
Speaker 1: handful and I respect him so much for being such
Speaker 1: a man and putting up with such a sassy, brassy
Speaker 1: woman that I don't think a lot of men could
Speaker 1: put up with, and I know a lot of men
Speaker 1: couldn't put up with. And I just loved him so
Speaker 1: much for it, And I think it's a really great
Speaker 1: way to find affection for your partner is to just
Speaker 1: acknowledge that you're a tough cookie and that someone chose
Speaker 1: to be with you and how cool that is and
Speaker 1: chose to love you and like stand by you with
Speaker 1: all of your flaws. And I just I fucking loved him.
Speaker 1: So I just Chris smacking a random guy in the
Speaker 1: face because he has to put up with you. He's
Speaker 1: just smacking a guy at freaking Whole Food. He just
Speaker 1: packed his food wrong. God, It's like if not me
Speaker 1: just watched the show, Just watch that reminds me, dude
Speaker 1: that Like, no, I don't know about you. But when
Speaker 1: I saw Jada Pinkett Smith not like get up and
Speaker 1: go like we'll stop, like, I was so embarrassed for her,
Speaker 1: and I thought, like I in that moment, if I
Speaker 1: were her, I would have been mortified that my husband
Speaker 1: boyfriend did that. I very empressed. I wouldn't have been like,
Speaker 1: I know, I think she did and I just I
Speaker 1: didn't relate to that at all, And I don't know, No,
Speaker 1: would you like if someone you know insulted something about you,
Speaker 1: would you like av to like stand up for you
Speaker 1: in in that kind of way? And in what kind
Speaker 1: of way would you have liked Do you get horny
Speaker 1: for like him like standing up for you or like
Speaker 1: defending you, protecting you? I think it depends, like in
Speaker 1: what way. But if we were in a similar situation,
Speaker 1: like in a parking lot and like his, if he
Speaker 1: reacted that way, he would only escalate it, and I
Speaker 1: would be completely turned off by that because it would
Speaker 1: be actually putting you more in harm's way. Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: And it's like escalating to like a I don't know,
Speaker 1: like a I don't know too, like barbaric for me,
Speaker 1: like I I kind of the other day when I
Speaker 1: was on Stern, I was looking at the clip they posted,
Speaker 1: and I didn't see the comments because I just knew
Speaker 1: that it was going to be upsetting to me because
Speaker 1: I was a girl with an opinion and that has
Speaker 1: not met well by a lot of times. I didn't
Speaker 1: even look, but there were eight hundred comments, and I
Speaker 1: was like hired that day. I was just very concise
Speaker 1: and like right straight to the point. It was good.
Speaker 1: I'm glad. I I really was kind of like embarrassed
Speaker 1: of that and didn't repost it because I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't even know what I said. I didn't even
Speaker 1: want to listen to it, but I want to say
Speaker 1: that I saw eight comments and it had just been posted,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, Ship, this is either like
Speaker 1: very positive or very negative. But I just know there's
Speaker 1: going to be some stuff in there that's really mean,
Speaker 1: because I saw one mean tweet that was like, oh Stern,
Speaker 1: this is the decline of Stern. Like usual, they of
Speaker 1: any comedian to call in, all they can get is
Speaker 1: Nikki Glazer, and it was like, oh god, it just
Speaker 1: made me feel like he's probably ashamed that I even
Speaker 1: called in, or like it just made me it was
Speaker 1: the worst thing to read. But I didn't mean to
Speaker 1: read it, you know, and I almost I sent I
Speaker 1: said to Chris, like I'm having a rough day because
Speaker 1: I saw comments and I just know I'm just predicting
Speaker 1: that so many are just so mean, and I almost
Speaker 1: wanted him to go read them and like go in
Speaker 1: there and like right back to them, or like fucking
Speaker 1: just like get in there and like just just right
Speaker 1: back to these people, like the way that I used
Speaker 1: to do for Amy, Like Amy used to get trashed
Speaker 1: on the fucking Daily Mail and I would create fake accounts,
Speaker 1: you know, anonymous accounts or as myself and on Reddit
Speaker 1: and I would go, you don't know what you're sucking
Speaker 1: talking about. Calling your a joke thief is just a
Speaker 1: way to diminish her. She's not a joke thief. This
Speaker 1: is a fucking street joke that she knew was a
Speaker 1: street joke to set up her other joke. You're an idiot,
Speaker 1: you don't know what you're talking about. Sit this one out,
Speaker 1: non comedian because you you're you're at Like I used
Speaker 1: to defend her all the time, and it felt so good,
Speaker 1: and I on, I love when people come to my defense.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, it doesn't ever work. This
Speaker 1: doesn't get through to people. And but there was something
Speaker 1: that what wanted me to I just want someone to
Speaker 1: witness what I deal with, you know, I guess that
Speaker 1: was it. I wanted someone who I love to witness
Speaker 1: like the hate that I have thrown at me sometimes
Speaker 1: and like how and just to take that into consideration
Speaker 1: when I'm having a bad day, that like your version
Speaker 1: of a bad day is your own unique situation that
Speaker 1: I have to empathize with. But also like just I
Speaker 1: want you just just see a little bit of what's
Speaker 1: being hurled at me because he doesn't see it, you know,
Speaker 1: and like and I don't see it either, but even
Speaker 1: just knowing it's there, it's kind of like Andrew, you
Speaker 1: like to know you would like the water to be
Speaker 1: clear so you could see if or you want the
Speaker 1: water to be murky so you don't know if sharks
Speaker 1: are there, right like and I wanted to be clear.
Speaker 1: I don't know that analogy doesn't really work for this. Yes,
Speaker 1: it's but it's I just go with it must be negative,
Speaker 1: like I just go with. I don't want to. I'm
Speaker 1: not even gonna get in. I didn't read like all
Speaker 1: of it, you know, I just I really but like
Speaker 1: everything I saw, I mean, I honestly didn't see one negative.
Speaker 1: And I wasn't looking for negative because if I did,
Speaker 1: I would have went through like all of them. You know,
Speaker 1: it was almost stick to you on it. There's just
Speaker 1: times where I just know it's negative, and I know
Speaker 1: that you are going to see it because you're really
Speaker 1: good at like just like you're good at like you're
Speaker 1: proud of me, and so you look at the stuff
Speaker 1: like you always come from a place of like, oh,
Speaker 1: like you're always so proud of me, and I'm like
Speaker 1: so appreciative of Like anytime I get good news, Andrew
Speaker 1: is always just like, dude, that's fucking awesome. Like it's
Speaker 1: weird to give your friends in the business good news
Speaker 1: that doesn't involve them sometimes because it can be like
Speaker 1: it can be threatening and like it's hard sometimes, and
Speaker 1: like I just want to say, Andrew, I really appreciate
Speaker 1: how what a good friend you are to always celebrate
Speaker 1: my chief ments and like look out for me and
Speaker 1: like and you're you're just it comes from such a good,
Speaker 1: loving place. And I just like really appreciate your friendship
Speaker 1: in that way, because it's it's not always easy to do,
Speaker 1: even for me when it comes to your achievements, Like
Speaker 1: I struggle with like because to me, it will mean
Speaker 1: he's gonna leave me. We're not gonna be friends anymore
Speaker 1: because he's gonna get too big and like he's like I,
Speaker 1: so it's it's hard not to go there. And I
Speaker 1: just I think it's just takes a really strong person.
Speaker 1: So I like, thank you for loving me in that
Speaker 1: way as a friend. I appreciate it, and thank you
Speaker 1: for like I mean, it's reciprocated, as you know I've
Speaker 1: said many times, but like you know, just like little
Speaker 1: things like you. I don't know how the conversation went
Speaker 1: with David Spade to get me to open for him
Speaker 1: this Saturday, but but that was you going, Hey, I
Speaker 1: believe in Andrew. He lives five minutes away. There's no
Speaker 1: other comedians there that are alive. But other than that,
Speaker 1: you know, no, but it's not it, dude, there's other comedians,
Speaker 1: Like Andrew's the best fit to open for David Spaide,
Speaker 1: and he's he's going to impress him so much that's
Speaker 1: going to lead to opportunities for him that I don't
Speaker 1: even that had nothing to do with me, Like I
Speaker 1: you deserve it and like it's it's something that I
Speaker 1: gave to you because I felt it. Yeah, and I
Speaker 1: felt on your end, like I don't know, there's I
Speaker 1: don't know what switched with you either or like both
Speaker 1: of us, I guess where it's like Okay, we're we're
Speaker 1: a team. We're not. We're individuals. We want each other
Speaker 1: to win. It's not a fucking competition. I've said that
Speaker 1: to you before, like I don't want to be competitive
Speaker 1: with you, and and and you've said before in the
Speaker 1: past like no, yeah, I get, but like, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Something like has changed with you that I've noticed that
Speaker 1: is I really like, appreciate, and like I work on
Speaker 1: it because it is not my normal instinct to feel.
Speaker 1: And I don't mean that, I don't mean by judging, like,
Speaker 1: but look look at you now, I'm proud of you,
Speaker 1: but no, like there is something about you. We're just
Speaker 1: struggle For me. I get so jealous of people's am
Speaker 1: Bushman's and I made this decision like Taylor Tomlins and
Speaker 1: Special was such a like she's so funny and she's
Speaker 1: so young. I didn't want to watch it. I And
Speaker 1: it's all because I'm threatened by her. It's all because
Speaker 1: she I'm scared she's funnier than me. People are gonna
Speaker 1: and people with female comics always go God think in
Speaker 1: every comment I read about her is always like the
Speaker 1: one female comic that I like like, And it's just
Speaker 1: it all feels so personal against me because she's funny,
Speaker 1: and I just caught myself in this like spiral of
Speaker 1: like like not wanting to celebrate her and this amazing
Speaker 1: special she just put out or how funny this fucking
Speaker 1: phenomen of comedy is because it somehow had something to
Speaker 1: do with me, and I chose, even though it was
Speaker 1: difficult to me to fucking promote it because I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm not promoting this on purpose because I'm threatened by it.
Speaker 1: That is so dumb and so weak, and like, I'm
Speaker 1: so proud of her. Honestly watching her makes me a
Speaker 1: better comedian. I'm fucking grateful for her. And the second
Speaker 1: that I promoted her and was like like honestly said
Speaker 1: what I said, which is like this, you know, she's
Speaker 1: a beast. She's like the one to look out for
Speaker 1: and look out for, meaning like watch, not like, oh,
Speaker 1: she's gonna take your place, but we're all threatened. Taylor
Speaker 1: Johnbinson is so good at such a young age. And
Speaker 1: I've been there before to where other female comics did
Speaker 1: not acknowledge me, and I thought I took it. I
Speaker 1: never took it as they were threatened by me because
Speaker 1: I'm so funny. I always took it as they don't
Speaker 1: like me, and I thought maybe Taylor, because I'm not
Speaker 1: posting about her, and she knows that she knows, I
Speaker 1: know right, like she knows that I'm seeing her stuff
Speaker 1: like it. It's it turns into like she might think
Speaker 1: I don't like her, and that is so not it.
Speaker 1: It's actually the opposite. I'm such a fan that I
Speaker 1: like can't deal. It's the same way I don't watch
Speaker 1: Mulaney because I'm just like, it makes me feel so insecure,
Speaker 1: so instead I posted about it. The second I posted
Speaker 1: about her, she writes me a d M We're d
Speaker 1: m ng back and forth just and I just go,
Speaker 1: I'm honest with her. I go, you are so extraordinary.
Speaker 1: You're like I I forget what I said, but I
Speaker 1: just spoke from the heart. And I didn't tell her
Speaker 1: all of this. She'll probably hear this and like find out.
Speaker 1: But I'm threatened by you, Taylor, because you're so funny
Speaker 1: and it's so stupid. And when you go into the fear,
Speaker 1: the thing that you don't want to do, when you
Speaker 1: go into it because you know it's the right thing
Speaker 1: to do and you know that it will free you.
Speaker 1: On on the other side of it is like freedom.
Speaker 1: I love when I see her clips now, I like
Speaker 1: consume everything she has. There's no part of me that's like,
Speaker 1: oh God, like Taylor and I love about like m
Speaker 1: m a at the end when they hug each other
Speaker 1: after they like brutally kill what you tried to kill
Speaker 1: one another. Yes, and honestly, Taylor might get things that
Speaker 1: I am up for. If Taylor didn't exist, I might
Speaker 1: work more. To be honest with you, I'm just let
Speaker 1: me just say though I'm not. Let's not live in
Speaker 1: this world where it's like there's a room enough for
Speaker 1: all of us. There isn't that women are there's one
Speaker 1: woman per show. There can be only one quirky best
Speaker 1: friend on a Netflix thing. Yes, we're a decade different
Speaker 1: in age, but there might be a thing where Taylor
Speaker 1: gets something that if it wasn't for her, I would
Speaker 1: get it, and so I could maybe go, Yeah, she
Speaker 1: she could literally be a threat to me working. And
Speaker 1: even if let's say I do need work, Andrew, let's
Speaker 1: say I do need that job. So let let's say
Speaker 1: I'm sued and I lose all my money and I
Speaker 1: do need to work, and Taylor takes that job, it's
Speaker 1: still me uplifting her is going to benefit me in
Speaker 1: the end, Like I'm not. I'm not not like Taylor
Speaker 1: is a threat to be getting things because she is
Speaker 1: so funny, she's young, she's beautiful, she's fucking honest and cool.
Speaker 1: But that doesn't mean that I should indulge in those
Speaker 1: like jealous and vs. Bat like feelings, because that is
Speaker 1: just it's coming from a place of hate, and I
Speaker 1: just want to like I don't mean to sound like
Speaker 1: Will Smith's succeptance speech, but I want to come from
Speaker 1: a place of love. And like it took me. It
Speaker 1: took a lot for me to do the thing that
Speaker 1: I didn't want to do, which is like tell people, hey,
Speaker 1: watch Taylor. She because I don't because I think my
Speaker 1: fans are gonna go, oh my god, she's so much
Speaker 1: better than Nick. Why am I following NICKI follow Taylor everything.
Speaker 1: Now Taylor, it's like and in that right way, there
Speaker 1: is room for both of us. And honestly, me watching
Speaker 1: Taylor and which I was avoiding for so long, has
Speaker 1: been like, oh my god, I really like what she's
Speaker 1: doing here, and it like makes me think about the
Speaker 1: way I'm approaching. It's going to make me a better
Speaker 1: comic talk about mental health. She loves talking about all
Speaker 1: the things awesome. Yeah, And I had her on my
Speaker 1: podcast whatever like a while back, and I was like her,
Speaker 1: Nikki would be I've talked to you about this before,
Speaker 1: off Mike, but I was like, I know you guys
Speaker 1: will be friends. I knew you would be friends like
Speaker 1: you have, But I think sometimes you're you become so
Speaker 1: you have so much common ship with like an enemy
Speaker 1: that like all it takes is one like real healthy
Speaker 1: Because why why I'm threatened by her is because we're
Speaker 1: so simia the same reasons why we would be such
Speaker 1: good friends is why I want to keep her at
Speaker 1: a distance and try to like like and honestly, I
Speaker 1: bet Taylor would say Taylor will be me someday. She'll
Speaker 1: be ten years down the road and there will be
Speaker 1: some little phenom that is going to be in her
Speaker 1: rear view mirror who is getting a lot of attention
Speaker 1: and they're saying like, finally this voice. We've been waiting
Speaker 1: for this, and it's going like it's that song nothing
Speaker 1: New by Taylor Swift and Phoebe Bridgers about um, will
Speaker 1: you still love me when I'm nothing New? When I'm
Speaker 1: not the new girl anymore. And I was the new
Speaker 1: girl for so long. I was the young, like bratt
Speaker 1: like sassy, like kind of cute, like tell it like
Speaker 1: it is girl, And I'm not that girl anymore. Taylor's
Speaker 1: that girl now, and I I'm just like her success
Speaker 1: is has nothing to do with me, and I just
Speaker 1: I she is good for the world. She empowers girls
Speaker 1: to like be more honest, and that bitch has gotten
Speaker 1: to a place of honesty and being able to put
Speaker 1: it into joke form that is so uh precise. An expert,
Speaker 1: She's an excellent joke writer. She's a truth teller. She
Speaker 1: is young, and I know we have a lot of
Speaker 1: young listeners that sometimes don't relate to what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: If you don't know Taylor Tomlinson, absolutely check her out.
Speaker 1: If this isn't a ringing endorsement, I don't know what is.
Speaker 1: And I just want to I want to just like
Speaker 1: celebrate people that threaten me more. She is the new
Speaker 1: host of f Boy Island three. I didn't they that
Speaker 1: honestly could happen, and I would be like, actually, that's
Speaker 1: a good you know, listen. I hope to work with
Speaker 1: her because like that's what this could lead to. Instead
Speaker 1: of me being like, final thoughts, I need to start
Speaker 1: listening to Taylor Tomlins's podcast and drop out on ours. Now.
Speaker 1: We gotta have her on the show to talk about this,
Speaker 1: because I'm going to write her a d d M
Speaker 1: after this, just to warn her that I go into
Speaker 1: a whole thing. But um, it's it for me starting
Speaker 1: out this episode admitting I don't know how to say
Speaker 1: you know his name? Like, I am actually admitting a
Speaker 1: lot of things that I never thought I would love
Speaker 1: air You're really thanks, but I but it brought it
Speaker 1: came up because dude, Like, it used to be hard
Speaker 1: for me when you would get things, whether it be
Speaker 1: like a girlfriend, whether it be a cat, like things
Speaker 1: like that threaten me. But I mean, like in the past,
Speaker 1: if you've got a cat, I'd be like, oh, and
Speaker 1: Jealsea has this new thing to post about that is
Speaker 1: like doesn't have to do with me. I don't know, no,
Speaker 1: mag it was so cute anyhow, But yeah, but like
Speaker 1: it when I have those instincts and I still do them,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm not freaking perfect. I'm sure there's going to
Speaker 1: be another Taylor Tomlinson that I'm gonna like have to like,
Speaker 1: but what is it about, like the posting of like
Speaker 1: me having a cat to post, like, why would that
Speaker 1: offend or affect you negatively? Because it's getting you attend
Speaker 1: for a like Like, honestly, this is all really embarrassing
Speaker 1: to admit, by the way, And I don't think that
Speaker 1: I'm alone here and admitting that, Like when people's lives
Speaker 1: are going well on Instagram, you kind of resent it
Speaker 1: because you're in a bad place, like you want everyone
Speaker 1: to be as gloomy as you are. So like, obviously
Speaker 1: it has every everything to do with me that that's
Speaker 1: that's that didn't happen, by the way, but like, let
Speaker 1: me just say how that could in a way? Um,
Speaker 1: you getting a cat? Oh, Brennan Andrew are so happy
Speaker 1: with their cat. Like he's he's so he's just happy.
Speaker 1: He looks happy. Everyone's happy for him. They're saying how
Speaker 1: cute the cat is. Everyone loves him. He's getting so
Speaker 1: many likes. No one likes me. Uh, he's gonna get
Speaker 1: so many likes that now he's going to realize, like,
Speaker 1: this post has nothing to do with Nikki, So do
Speaker 1: I really need to be friends with Nikki anymore? Like
Speaker 1: it's not really helping like I can. That's the way women.
Speaker 1: Women are fucking we that's the way my brain thinks.
Speaker 1: I go so far and it's such a fucking narciss
Speaker 1: like it is nothing, but I take it personally and
Speaker 1: I'm just starting to realize, like I if you just
Speaker 1: come up from a place of like, what do I
Speaker 1: what's the story I want to tell? Honestly, what's come
Speaker 1: back to this? What's the story I want to tell.
Speaker 1: I want everyone in the world to feel love and
Speaker 1: happiness and joy, Like that's all I want for anyone,
Speaker 1: and I wanted myself to feel that way. And anytime
Speaker 1: I want someone to not feel joy, it's because I
Speaker 1: don't feel joy and I wanted to match mine so like,
Speaker 1: but when it comes down to it, like those feelings
Speaker 1: of jealousy I have are all myself and I'm not
Speaker 1: a bad person for feeling them. That's why I'm talking
Speaker 1: about it honestly, because I don't think that's something to
Speaker 1: be ashamed of. To feel this way and to feel
Speaker 1: threatened by people. It's I can't help it, but I
Speaker 1: but it's nice to share it and to be honest
Speaker 1: about it, because it just freeze me when I see
Speaker 1: you with like you know whatever like big comedians or
Speaker 1: like you know, you're you've traveled way more than I've
Speaker 1: just been in St. Louis pretty much just playing golf
Speaker 1: while you've done fifteen different shows, And it's of like
Speaker 1: that sometimes I go, oh, she's just gonna forget about me,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like I have those thoughts,
Speaker 1: you know, I have those thoughts. You've proven time and
Speaker 1: time over again to me that you have my back
Speaker 1: and that I am have value to you and no
Speaker 1: matter who you meet or like being on Howard or
Speaker 1: all that ship which is whatever, like you've proven that, Like,
Speaker 1: oh no, I'm not gonna But I still have those
Speaker 1: doubts all the time, you know. I have that brain
Speaker 1: that goes through that like, oh look at her there.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, she's just gonna move to l A. And
Speaker 1: I'm gonna somehow live in St. Louis and have to
Speaker 1: eat dinner with their parents without her, Like you know,
Speaker 1: I have these kind of thoughts. You know that you're
Speaker 1: not crazy to think that, like those kinds you know,
Speaker 1: Like so I, um, yeah, I guess that's true, and
Speaker 1: like that's very possible. All those things so I just
Speaker 1: want to validate that might have no I I you know,
Speaker 1: when it comes down to it's like trusting that like
Speaker 1: our friendship is about, is not transactional. And I think
Speaker 1: that's what's gotten in the way for me sometimes is
Speaker 1: that I feel like, oh, if Andrew wasn't on the
Speaker 1: road for me with me, and I wasn't, he wasn't
Speaker 1: on my podcast, and all these things like would he
Speaker 1: be friends with me? And I think I've just come
Speaker 1: to the place where I like trust that you would,
Speaker 1: and like it's not about the things you get. Those
Speaker 1: are great things that I'm able to like give you
Speaker 1: and and of course that's like it's awesome for for
Speaker 1: you and for me, but like it just gets I
Speaker 1: think sometimes when you have your friends on payroll or
Speaker 1: like you are wrapped up in like work stuff, you
Speaker 1: start to question if you are really loved for who
Speaker 1: you are, or for the opportunities you're providing, or because
Speaker 1: you're like famous or whatever. And I think those were
Speaker 1: some insecurities of mine for a bit, and I just
Speaker 1: instead of being like, I know he loves me as
Speaker 1: a friend, I just whatever it is it is, and
Speaker 1: I'll find out when it happens, and if you if
Speaker 1: you do end up like let's say you do end
Speaker 1: up like only as soon as something about opportunity come along,
Speaker 1: we never talk again, right then that's okay, Like then
Speaker 1: I'll deal with it. It's like I just have to
Speaker 1: let go. And the truth is, as soon as I
Speaker 1: let go, I realized, like, oh you you do, like
Speaker 1: there's just no question that you love. There's just no question.
Speaker 1: And you know, I constantly feel like, you know, uh,
Speaker 1: do am I talented to deserve these transactions because I'm
Speaker 1: getting it from a friend? Does that make sense? Like
Speaker 1: am I? Am I worthy of this? Or am I
Speaker 1: only getting it because of friendship? And I have to
Speaker 1: constantly question of like how talented really am I? Uh?
Speaker 1: Without the friend take the friendship out of it, if
Speaker 1: you're just going off my joke writing ability or whatever
Speaker 1: like that, you know, like, uh, would would I still
Speaker 1: be you know, in the running and what and do
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? So then you know, like
Speaker 1: am I only keeping around for your friendship? But it's
Speaker 1: not about your talent? Yes? Well, I think that it's
Speaker 1: important to know that, Like bottom line, it could be
Speaker 1: it is both. But really, if I thought that you
Speaker 1: weren't talented, I would just pay like I just. I wouldn't,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't put you on my show like I would,
Speaker 1: I would be honest with you and give and I
Speaker 1: have given you constructive criticism of like when you do this, dude,
Speaker 1: it is what you're really like. From my perspective, I
Speaker 1: think this is going to take you to the next level.
Speaker 1: This not so much. And like, so I I am
Speaker 1: aware of how talented you and like, yeah, I I
Speaker 1: I get that too. I got that's so interesting because
Speaker 1: we both are insecure about Like you're insecure that all
Speaker 1: I care about is your friendship and you're I've insecure
Speaker 1: that all you care about is me using your talent.
Speaker 1: And it's so funny because it um. I keep you
Speaker 1: around as my friend because you're so talented and because
Speaker 1: you inspire me, and you are the sum of your
Speaker 1: five closest friends, and I want of my being to
Speaker 1: be what Andrew Collins got going on. And that's the
Speaker 1: truth of the matter. And you not so much or
Speaker 1: no uh and noah, it's you too, Like you're someone
Speaker 1: I spend so much time with on this podcast, and
Speaker 1: you are one of my five closest friends as well.
Speaker 1: And like, yeah, I want I want what you. I
Speaker 1: would love to be Andrew. Um and and even though
Speaker 1: that's mostly sauce, Yeah, we gotta go. I gotta go
Speaker 1: run to a meeting. I love you both so much.
Speaker 1: What a great episode. Um, I'll be back in St.
Speaker 1: Louis tomorrow. We'll be face to face and uh, love
Speaker 1: you besties. I hope you enjoyed the episode. Don't be
Speaker 1: and he to