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Speaker 1: This is the Ben and Ashley I almost Famous podcast

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Speaker 1: with our radio. Hey, welcome back. I'm Ben and I'm

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Speaker 1: Ashley and this is the almost Famous podcast. We have

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Speaker 1: a really big episode for you all this week. I mean,

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Speaker 1: this is this is huge, and I guess I want

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Speaker 1: to start out there's been some things weighing on Ashley

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Speaker 1: and I, uh this week. Um, and so actually I

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Speaker 1: just want to give you a little time here to

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Speaker 1: to speak on it. Yeah. So we did an interview

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Speaker 1: last week, and for the first time in our four

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Speaker 1: months of doing this podcast, we got a lot of strong,

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Speaker 1: sometimes harsh, sometimes mad and upset comments at us that

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Speaker 1: weren't on email forum. Some of them were on forums,

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Speaker 1: and UM, we were just we're just a little confused. Um.

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Speaker 1: We know we were tough in this particular interview, but

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Speaker 1: we really wanted to come off as a discussion. I

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Speaker 1: really just thought I was putting my opinions out there.

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Speaker 1: I think Amy and Ben felt the same way. I

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Speaker 1: didn't personally feel like I was being mean a bully.

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Speaker 1: I certainly don't think I was being a bully. I

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Speaker 1: think in this very sensitive culture we live in today,

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Speaker 1: people sometimes jump and accuse a conversation or an adult

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Speaker 1: argument as bullying, but really it's just an argument and

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Speaker 1: it's a disagreement, but it doesn't mean that there's any

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Speaker 1: like ill will in it. So we asked tough questions.

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Speaker 1: We presented I felt like all sides. But let me

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Speaker 1: know if if you do think that we are really

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Speaker 1: too sweet. I really do feel like I defended and

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Speaker 1: disagreed with the person at the same time. And I

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Speaker 1: like to think of myself. I know, like some of

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Speaker 1: you may may call me out on this and you're

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Speaker 1: gonna be like, actually, that's a ridiculous do you have

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Speaker 1: a podcast talking about the Bachelor? But I think of

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Speaker 1: myself as a journalist. I have my masters in it,

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Speaker 1: Like this is what I was trained to do. So

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Speaker 1: when I go into an interview with somebody, I'm not

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Speaker 1: going to be afraid to ask what I think that

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Speaker 1: the listeners want me to ask, like sometimes the scary

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Speaker 1: questions because that so it makes an interesting conversation. We

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Speaker 1: don't always want to be fluffy and lighthearted. We want

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Speaker 1: to do that most of the time. Like my job

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Speaker 1: is to like make you guys smile. I think that

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Speaker 1: Ben and I feel like you want to come see

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Speaker 1: the Alost day as podcast like get some dirt, to

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Speaker 1: get some gossip here about your favorite show and the

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Speaker 1: people involved with it. But I don't think you need

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Speaker 1: like a whole lot of aggression, And I don't think

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Speaker 1: we intended to do that last week. But I just

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Speaker 1: want you to know that when we we asked those

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Speaker 1: type questions, I was thinking of myself as a journalist,

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Speaker 1: and I I hope it didn't come across to too

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Speaker 1: many people like it was hostile. And there was a

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Speaker 1: campaign that was started this week to go on our

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Speaker 1: iTunes page and to give the almost famous podcast bad

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Speaker 1: reviews because of this discussion argument. I don't think it

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Speaker 1: was bullying, and I'm gonna I'm gonna stay strong to that.

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Speaker 1: I definitely don't think this is bullying. Um. I think

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Speaker 1: if you want to point out something in the bachelor

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Speaker 1: community that was bullying, I think calling scallop a girl

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Speaker 1: scalop fingers behind her her face, you know, behind her back,

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Speaker 1: was probably more bullying. That was like with mal intent,

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Speaker 1: that was making fun of someone in ill will. Um.

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Speaker 1: I think this is just an adult conversation and some

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Speaker 1: people wished we felt differently. Anyway, So if you like

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Speaker 1: our podcast or if you don't like our podcasts, but

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Speaker 1: if you like it and you want us to continue,

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Speaker 1: and we really want to continue. But if if it's

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Speaker 1: not fun anymore, there's gonna be less intent, Like, there's

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Speaker 1: gonna be less incentive for us to want to continue.

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Speaker 1: So we would love to read all of your reviews

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Speaker 1: on our iTunes page, So please go give us some stars,

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Speaker 1: give us some written reviews. We appreciate all your thoughts,

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Speaker 1: and don't forget that if you do have like a

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Speaker 1: big opinion you want to share with us, it is

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Speaker 1: Ben and Ashley at I heart media dot com, and

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Speaker 1: show us the love if you have it for us. Yeah. So, um,

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Speaker 1: kind of piggyback on what Ashley was saying, Uh, I

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Speaker 1: guess personally, um, just after last week's episode, it does

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Speaker 1: and I think actually just said it kind of sucked

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Speaker 1: the fun out of this and and I and I'm

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Speaker 1: totally uh in agreement with some of the points raised that, Uh,

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Speaker 1: this podcast should never be about bringing somebody down or

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Speaker 1: putting somebody down, or making somebody feel less than Um,

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Speaker 1: that's not what I want to do this for. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: it's it would be the last thing and I don't

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Speaker 1: and I do think last week in the interview, we

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Speaker 1: got closer to that than we ever have. And I

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Speaker 1: think Lash and I have both learned a lesson to

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Speaker 1: to continue to hopefully pick people up to um talk

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Speaker 1: about these scenaris that are happening in the backward because

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Speaker 1: let's be honest, a lot of them are funny, and

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Speaker 1: a lot of them hopefully we can all make fun

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Speaker 1: of ourselves and we can be self deprecating and um,

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Speaker 1: you know, we we've gone TV to date and at

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Speaker 1: some level that's just humorous. But we never want to

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Speaker 1: personally hurt anybody. And somebody was obviously personally hurt after

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Speaker 1: coming on our show. And and I want to just apologize,

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Speaker 1: even if we believe that we we we said everything

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Speaker 1: um that we wanted to say, and we were trying

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Speaker 1: to just share the story and to get to the

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Speaker 1: bottom of what this whole instagram posted about. I do

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Speaker 1: want to apologize on behalf of this podcast that we

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Speaker 1: hurt somebody. UM, that's not what we want to do,

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Speaker 1: and we're not going to do it from here and out.

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Speaker 1: And and so as we moved forward, UM to anybody

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Speaker 1: out there that was contacted to to put a negative

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Speaker 1: comment on Reddit or anybody was contacted to to put

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Speaker 1: a negative comment on our social media. It hurt, and

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Speaker 1: it hurts pretty bad. Um. But Bet and I were

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Speaker 1: really stressed out about it all week, and we both

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Speaker 1: listened back to the podcast because we were getting some

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Speaker 1: heat and we were just a little bit confused because

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Speaker 1: we knew it was a harsher like it is more

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Speaker 1: serious tone podcast than usual, but we both were kind

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Speaker 1: of at a loss as to what all this bullying,

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Speaker 1: all the bullying accusations were about. So we both went

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Speaker 1: back and listened to it, and I honestly, I am

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Speaker 1: very confused where we're getting such harsh backlash. I can

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Speaker 1: understand you saying like, oh, I didn't like your tone there,

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Speaker 1: or like who wow, you really feel strongly on that side,

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Speaker 1: But I don't know where you're getting the bullying from. UM.

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Speaker 1: It's like, would you call Barbara Walters, Megan Kelly, Diane Sawyer?

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Speaker 1: Would you call them bullies in the middle of an

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Speaker 1: Airson as an example, because he's in the Bachelor World,

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Speaker 1: I guess really tough questions on the you know, after

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Speaker 1: the final rows and all those things, and he's not

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Speaker 1: being a bully, just asking the questions that the listeners want.

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Speaker 1: So I don't want you guys to be afraid to

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Speaker 1: say what you think. That's what this show is about.

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Speaker 1: And also for the people listening. They wrote us emails

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Speaker 1: to talk about this topic more than we've gotten on

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Speaker 1: any other topic. So you know, I don't want you

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Speaker 1: guys to be to censor yourselves too much. I think

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Speaker 1: what is really good about you guys is how you

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Speaker 1: present such a fair perspective. Yeah, just just I mean,

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Speaker 1: no matter what happened to what we said was right

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Speaker 1: or wrong or what, that is not the issue that's indifferent, right, UM.

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Speaker 1: I I want to apologize for hurting somebody. I want

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Speaker 1: to believe that Danielle was actually hurt by the I mean,

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Speaker 1: if she's going to come out and in public and

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Speaker 1: say she was hurt by this, then she was hurt.

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Speaker 1: And I want to I want to address that and

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Speaker 1: say I'm sorry, like I didn't mean to hurt her.

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Speaker 1: And and even if we didn't mean to, and even

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Speaker 1: if we still feel like the things we said weren't

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Speaker 1: as harsh as what maybe um are being communicated, we

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Speaker 1: still hurt somebody, and so we want to apologize to her.

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Speaker 1: That wasn't our intent. That's not how we feel about

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Speaker 1: her as a person. It's not what we think about

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Speaker 1: her as a person. It's not what we want others

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Speaker 1: to think about her as a person. We don't want

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Speaker 1: anybody to feel negative by coming on this show. And

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Speaker 1: so if that's the end of this, if if you know,

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Speaker 1: if she wants to talk to us personally, we've we

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Speaker 1: we have reached out to her um off of this,

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Speaker 1: just to just to talk with her and tell her, hey,

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Speaker 1: you know what. At the end of the day, Danielle,

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Speaker 1: like I was more confused by the post because I

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Speaker 1: thought it was saying she wasn't beautiful, and I think

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Speaker 1: she's gorgeous. And so that's maybe why I came in condescending,

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Speaker 1: because I just didn't know the post um. But at

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Speaker 1: the end of the day, somebody's hurt, that's what we want,

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Speaker 1: and it's not what we're gonna have happened for me

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Speaker 1: on now. And so with that, let's move into some

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Speaker 1: of these emails that we received this week asking us

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Speaker 1: to talk about this, because we did, you know, we

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Speaker 1: talked about with Danielle on the last week's episode, Because

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Speaker 1: we did get a lot of emails UH sent into

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Speaker 1: us asking Hey, what's up with this post to her

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Speaker 1: and Dean still dating? You know what's going on with this?

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Speaker 1: So we talked about it and this week we we

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Speaker 1: had some follow up emails. Actually want to run through those. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I just want to elaborate when he said what Ben said, UM,

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Speaker 1: if we whatever we did to offend anyone out there,

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Speaker 1: we do want to know specifically what that is so

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Speaker 1: that we can be better and we could never act

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Speaker 1: that way again. All right, So this email is from Sarah.

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Speaker 1: She says, Hi, guys, I think you guys were a

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Speaker 1: little bit hard on Danielle L for her caption about

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Speaker 1: feeling like her beauty has hurt her reputation. During the

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Speaker 1: whole conversation, I thought back to the movie Legally Blonde,

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Speaker 1: which is a cinematic masterpiece, and I do completely agree

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Speaker 1: with you, Sarah. It has inspired me in so many ways. Um.

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Speaker 1: I almost went to law school because of l Woods. UM.

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Speaker 1: I think what Danielle L was trying to make a

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Speaker 1: point of was that she was very sexualized on Paradise

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Speaker 1: and she never was edited to have any depth or

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Speaker 1: even a brain. I'm have you guys got her on

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Speaker 1: to listen to her side, but I felt like I

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Speaker 1: could really explain what she meant in more detail, and

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Speaker 1: hopefully you guys will bring up this issue next week. Overall,

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Speaker 1: huge fan of the show, but I need you guys

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Speaker 1: to understand how deep of an issue this really is

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Speaker 1: and it affects multiple women. Okay, well, I wish we

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Speaker 1: had Sarah's numbers so we could call her. We can

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Speaker 1: try emailing her all right now. This is from Brianna.

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Speaker 1: Brianna says, Hi, Benn and Ashley, I do not understand

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Speaker 1: why hundreds of people seem to be so outraged over

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Speaker 1: last week's episode. You guys simply stayed your opinion on

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Speaker 1: the del Dean situation. This is your podcast and you

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Speaker 1: should be allowed to give your opinions and speak your mind.

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Speaker 1: Please do not apologize. You should never have to apologize

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Speaker 1: for sharing your opinion on your podcast. And I agree

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Speaker 1: with you, Brianna. To the listeners, I think that you

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Speaker 1: all should take a chill pill. It is okay to

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Speaker 1: hear opinions that differ from your own. Thank you, thank you,

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Speaker 1: thank you, Brianna. This is a part of growing up.

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Speaker 1: In fact, you should want to live in a world

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Speaker 1: where you are surrounded by different opinions and different perspectives.

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Speaker 1: A life would be boring if we were all living

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Speaker 1: in an echo chamber. Benn and Nashley, I love this

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Speaker 1: podcast because you share unfiltered conversations with us and you

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Speaker 1: do give us an insider's perspective on things. Please don't change.

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Speaker 1: That's why I continue to listen. Love you guys, Brianna,

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Brianna. Um, interviews aren't meant to just be

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Speaker 1: sucking up together person. It's just like to get information

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Speaker 1: and to get a different person's perspective and thoughts on

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Speaker 1: a certain matter. Yeah, yeah, I mean I can't disagree

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Speaker 1: with you. I definitely don't want to have a podcast

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Speaker 1: or I just don't have a little life where I

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Speaker 1: agree with everybody and everything. Um, I don't think that

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Speaker 1: helps us progress forward. I don't think it helps me

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Speaker 1: as a person, and I don't think it helps out

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Speaker 1: my relationships around me. But um again, I just go

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Speaker 1: back to if somebody was hurt, and when somebody can

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Speaker 1: expresses me that I have hurt them, I don't want

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Speaker 1: to look at them and say, no, I did it.

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Speaker 1: You know that's not true. I said everything I should

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Speaker 1: have said. I don't want to be that that person.

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Speaker 1: So so I say is that if you if I

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Speaker 1: hurt you by something I did, then I then I

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Speaker 1: need to take that in. I need to let that

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Speaker 1: sink in. I need to see what I did wrong

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Speaker 1: and hear what I did wrong and and feel it

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Speaker 1: because I don't want to live a life of hurting

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Speaker 1: somebody either. So that's my lesson. You know, I'm getting new.

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Speaker 1: I'm new to this thing. Like I'm four months into

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Speaker 1: this podcast. I'm not used to talking for a living.

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Speaker 1: I'm used to talking a lot and talking to anybody

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Speaker 1: to listen, but I'm not used to talking for a living.

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Speaker 1: And and when there's when there's a controversial situation that's

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Speaker 1: brought up, or there's a lot of questions that listeners

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Speaker 1: are sending in to us about a topic that they're

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Speaker 1: fired up about, I guess I need to get better

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Speaker 1: at communicating the story and then asking those questions to

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Speaker 1: not add my perspective and add my opinion, but to

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Speaker 1: get the real um to get to the conclusion. And

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Speaker 1: so um, I'm listening, I'm hearing all this stuff this week,

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Speaker 1: and I'm hearing the comments made that uh that you know,

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Speaker 1: I should have stood up and and I am not

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Speaker 1: the person I say am and that's things really hurt. UM,

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Speaker 1: But I'm I guess I can only agree to try

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Speaker 1: to get better. All right, we're gonna move on. Now,

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Speaker 1: let's put this in the past. UM. Today we have

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Speaker 1: our good friend Nick viall on. He'll be in studio

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Speaker 1: any minute now, and we all store opening the phones

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Speaker 1: so we can talk about anything you guys want, including

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Speaker 1: last week's controversial interview. UM. Call in at eight three

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Speaker 1: three Ben b n N and that is an end.

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Speaker 1: Oh you guys, let me not read the initials. It

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Speaker 1: is eight three three two three six six to seven four.

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Speaker 1: But first, Ben, I know that you want to be

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Speaker 1: able to see Nick as clearly as possible. Yeah, I do.

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Speaker 1: And and because it makes a beautiful human, UM, great looking, UM,

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Speaker 1: better spoken. So let's see how he does in this podcast.

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Speaker 1: But I want to talk to you about a sponsor

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Speaker 1: of ours. Hubble. Umble has been sponsor of this podcast

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Speaker 1: for a few episodes. Now, UM, part of my experience

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Speaker 1: E Contacts dot com. Hey, Nick, thank you for joining

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Speaker 1: Almost Famous podcast. You came in on the perfect day. Uh.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate you stepping in here. I know um that

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Speaker 1: your life is incredibly busy, so please catch us up.

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Speaker 1: What are you up today? How are you doing and

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Speaker 1: how is life? Um? Well, thank you first of all

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Speaker 1: for having me been. I wish you were here in

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Speaker 1: the studio and Ashley and Ashley. Yes, I get to

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Speaker 1: see you morning. I get to see you Ben. Um.

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Speaker 1: Is this a three part question? Yeah, it's gonna be.

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Speaker 1: The first part of the question is how you do it?

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Speaker 1: You know, I'm hanging in. You know, I'm fine. You've

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Speaker 1: been doing a lot of traveling. Oh, keeping towns always,

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Speaker 1: I mean your your Dallas. I was in Dallas, visiting

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Speaker 1: a good friend of mine who recently moved there for work,

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Speaker 1: and I haven't had a chance to see him, so

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Speaker 1: I just went there and had a lonely guys weekend.

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Speaker 1: It's just to him and I. You went to Charlene's

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Speaker 1: wedding and Chris Souls was there. I went to Charlene's wedding.

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Speaker 1: It was lovely. I love very deeply both Charlene and

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Speaker 1: her husband Andy to the greatest people, UM ever, and

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Speaker 1: it was really great to be able to celebrate that

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Speaker 1: ceremony with them, and it was a lovely wedding. Nick,

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Speaker 1: You've been obviously traveling a lot. We get that. So

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Speaker 1: I'm I can relate with you in a lot of

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Speaker 1: ways right now, right so you're not talking to somebody

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Speaker 1: that hasn't been there. But how are you? I mean,

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Speaker 1: I know you see you're doing good, but outside of

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Speaker 1: the relationship, because I know that's not always the most

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Speaker 1: fun thing to talk about, And if you want to

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Speaker 1: bring it up, that's great, if if not, just how

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Speaker 1: are you holding up? Has it been a tough little

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Speaker 1: season of life. Do you feel like it needed to happen? Um?

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Speaker 1: Coming out of this as a man? Where are you

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Speaker 1: at well. I mean, I don't know if I felt

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Speaker 1: like it needed to happen, but um, you know it

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Speaker 1: kind of is what it is. Um, yeah, I know

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Speaker 1: you kind of we talked kind of briefly offline about

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Speaker 1: when you know, both of us kind of went through

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Speaker 1: this experience. I mean it's like never fun, right, I mean,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, being a single kind of sucks. Um,

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Speaker 1: but you know, what can you do? And so you

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Speaker 1: know I've always been the internal optimist of of of

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Speaker 1: pushing forward. So um yeah, I mean I don't know,

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Speaker 1: I'm fine, what can you do? I mean I think

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Speaker 1: that's the right way to look at it. It's not

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Speaker 1: always the easiest way to look at it. I think

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Speaker 1: I remember looking back and saying kind of saying the

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Speaker 1: same thing is, you know, this happened if I wanted

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Speaker 1: to happen, if I didn't want to happen, no matter what,

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Speaker 1: it happened. And so now I look at life and

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Speaker 1: I say, what is it for me on now? And

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Speaker 1: there's nothing I can do but but look forward. I

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Speaker 1: can't look back because if I look back, it just

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Speaker 1: kind of keeps me standing still. I mean, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: mean I think every relationship I mean everyone you know

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Speaker 1: outside of this interesting world that we've all been a

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Speaker 1: part of. Um, you know, every relationship is it can

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Speaker 1: be you know, has its Obviously, relationships can be great

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Speaker 1: and lovely and amazing, and if they don't work out, um,

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Speaker 1: you just kind of have to get through it. And

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Speaker 1: I guess, um, you know, there's two two great things

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Speaker 1: that I've as I've gotten older, I've learned to try

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Speaker 1: to appreciate in life, and that is having perspective, um,

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Speaker 1: and you know, understanding that like all things kind of

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Speaker 1: are relative, you know, like you know, when things happen

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Speaker 1: to you know, touch us as an individuals, it feels

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Speaker 1: like a big deal and it can be kind of

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Speaker 1: self indulgent. And UM, I think the more you experience life,

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Speaker 1: whether it's something that works out or it doesn't, you

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Speaker 1: you get greater perspective from it. And so I think

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Speaker 1: that's all you can do is try to to learn

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Speaker 1: from each experience. And um, you know, I think in

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Speaker 1: these times it's kind of very easy to you know,

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Speaker 1: get down yourself or let your insecurities kind of pop

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Speaker 1: up and and try to, um, you know, get down yourself.

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Speaker 1: But you try to then reflect back on you know,

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Speaker 1: your experiences before and and and try to have some

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Speaker 1: perspective about it. And UM, the more experiences you have,

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Speaker 1: and I've certainly had a few, um, you can you know,

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Speaker 1: try to use that to to move forward and UM,

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Speaker 1: you know, just go from there. I remember during being

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Speaker 1: in that same kind of time of life that you're

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Speaker 1: sitting in right now, and you know, you get a

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Speaker 1: lot of opinions and uh, you know, you can get

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Speaker 1: a lot of actions on what happened or who failed

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Speaker 1: and um or what failed in it and it you know,

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Speaker 1: it hurts, you know anytime people express those like really

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Speaker 1: deep seated, like they kind of bring out your insecurities. UM.

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Speaker 1: It stings, especially in a time where your heart is

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Speaker 1: already like very raw and open and kind of broken. UM.

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Speaker 1: And So I can I can do, I can feel,

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Speaker 1: I can relate with you. And then I guess, but

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Speaker 1: one thing, and I want to know if you feel

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Speaker 1: the same way, and I don't want to speak for you,

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Speaker 1: but one thing I learned, or I guess i've as

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Speaker 1: I've looked back on it is as my heart was

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Speaker 1: broken during that time and as I was very um

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Speaker 1: open emotionally, I learned so much more about myself and

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Speaker 1: so now I can look back and say, hey, this

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Speaker 1: situation was not ideal the way it turned out. It

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Speaker 1: wasn't what I was hoping for, but I've learned so

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Speaker 1: much more about myself coming out of it. I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean kind of what I just you know, mentioned before,

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Speaker 1: just and that's kind of getting getting that perspective. Um.

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Speaker 1: You know, when you experience something, you know, whether it's

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Speaker 1: good or bad, it's again, I'm always important to reflect

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Speaker 1: and then hopefully you do learn something about yourself or

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Speaker 1: just life or or situations. Um. And yeah, I mean

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Speaker 1: that's kind of you know, obviously, Ben, you know a

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Speaker 1: lot about this and you know, even Ashley like whether

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Speaker 1: it's you know, you know, from a relations standpoint. Obviously,

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Speaker 1: we've chosen to be a part of this world and

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Speaker 1: we open ourselves up to to criticism sometimes. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I caught the tail end of your last segment, and

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Speaker 1: you know, sometimes I get surprised with with people who

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Speaker 1: are so quick to you know, share their thoughts but

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Speaker 1: unwilling to get criticism. Um. You know, and I think

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Speaker 1: we have to accept that as people who have chosen

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Speaker 1: to be a part of this and it's never fun. Um.

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Speaker 1: You know, and having said that, obviously, when you it's

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Speaker 1: a weird experience. Um. You know, when you two people are,

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Speaker 1: you know, kind of at their lowest and trying to

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Speaker 1: make the right decisions for each other and his individuals

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Speaker 1: to even have to consider, you know, what people might

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Speaker 1: say or what people might assume, and um, we just

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Speaker 1: kind of chosen to try to keep that as private

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Speaker 1: as possible. Um. You know, um, which sometimes you know,

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Speaker 1: it sucks because you know, obviously if people will always

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Speaker 1: assume certain things that they want or whatever. But you know,

429
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:27,159
Speaker 1: what are you gonna do? Um. You know, I'm always

430
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:30,320
Speaker 1: thankful for my time. I have no regrets, and um,

431
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:31,680
Speaker 1: you know, it was it was just one of those

432
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:34,920
Speaker 1: things that you know, you you hoped worked out. But

433
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,080
Speaker 1: you know, I think when you get asked to to

434
00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:39,320
Speaker 1: be the Bachelor, I mean I know when I got asked.

435
00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:42,040
Speaker 1: I mean, my my first thought was I was kind

436
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:44,480
Speaker 1: of sick to my stomach because of the pressure of

437
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:48,240
Speaker 1: of working out and not working out. You know, every

438
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:51,480
Speaker 1: every situation is different. Um, but I'm sure every lead

439
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:54,680
Speaker 1: to a certain extent feels those emotions. You know. For myself,

440
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:58,840
Speaker 1: I was certainly self aware of the fact that um,

441
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:04,200
Speaker 1: the number of attempts on this show would be emphasized, um,

442
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,520
Speaker 1: you know, to the point where you know, four times

443
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:08,880
Speaker 1: a charm, charm and I kind of guessed that would

444
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:11,840
Speaker 1: be some sort of theme and you know, something I

445
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:15,199
Speaker 1: had to accept. And so you don't, you know, you

446
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:16,960
Speaker 1: don't know what's going to happen. You don't know that

447
00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:18,880
Speaker 1: the women who will get out of the limo, and

448
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,399
Speaker 1: as great as they might be, you don't know if

449
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:23,359
Speaker 1: any of them will be compatible for you, if there

450
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:27,160
Speaker 1: will be any connection. Then I think your greatest fear, um,

451
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:29,840
Speaker 1: is it not working out? And you know, for me,

452
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:32,840
Speaker 1: that was a big fear of mine, a big weight

453
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:35,560
Speaker 1: on my shoulders and something that I really experienced, um

454
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:37,959
Speaker 1: all the way through. And you know, I don't for

455
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:41,040
Speaker 1: those who may or may not remember, you know, my season,

456
00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:43,800
Speaker 1: you know, my first one on one day with Vanessa

457
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,040
Speaker 1: was you know, I got emotional really early. It was

458
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,159
Speaker 1: kind of like, why is he getting emotionals? And for

459
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:49,720
Speaker 1: me it was you know, obviously I had such a

460
00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:53,200
Speaker 1: great day with Vanessa that day, but I finally felt

461
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:55,320
Speaker 1: a lot of relief in that moment that it could

462
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:57,359
Speaker 1: work out. And you know, whether it was you know,

463
00:22:57,520 --> 00:22:59,439
Speaker 1: Vanessa and I had a pretty good idea that it

464
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:01,080
Speaker 1: might be at that point because I had such a

465
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:05,159
Speaker 1: great day. Um, you know, you just feel that huge

466
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:08,720
Speaker 1: relief and so um, you still don't know, and obviously

467
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:10,639
Speaker 1: there's a lot to come even after the show has

468
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:14,120
Speaker 1: done on filming, as as we all know. And yeah,

469
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:18,200
Speaker 1: I'm I'll always be very incredibly envious for those who

470
00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:22,920
Speaker 1: have been a part of this world and been able

471
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:26,439
Speaker 1: to have a successful relationship. I'm very very envious to

472
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:31,200
Speaker 1: those people. Um and um, you know, unfortunately I wasn't

473
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:34,960
Speaker 1: one of them. And what do you do? And I

474
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,120
Speaker 1: mean you said it beast like that is a huge fear.

475
00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:40,040
Speaker 1: I remember thinking the same thing as it started. Remember

476
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 1: on my first one on one day with Lauren, that

477
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:45,560
Speaker 1: emotion did come over me as well. Is I remember

478
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:47,240
Speaker 1: when when I used to tell people when I first

479
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:51,159
Speaker 1: knew that you know, she was somebody special. Um, it

480
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:54,159
Speaker 1: is released because you're I remember being so nervous as

481
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:56,159
Speaker 1: this one was pulled up that everybody was going to

482
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:58,359
Speaker 1: be crazy and then I was going to be stuck

483
00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:01,520
Speaker 1: at the end of this questioning myself even more. Um

484
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 1: so we we I think. I mean, I'm grateful for

485
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:07,439
Speaker 1: the experience I had and and for the for the

486
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:10,720
Speaker 1: people that I've met during it. I want to ask you, UM,

487
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:12,840
Speaker 1: are you do you ever regret doing not regret because

488
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:14,600
Speaker 1: I know you you You're somebody doesn't regret a lot

489
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:17,199
Speaker 1: and you learn from a lot. Are you happy that

490
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:20,080
Speaker 1: you did the Bachelor? UM? I mean, if I have

491
00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:22,359
Speaker 1: to get a yes no answer, of course you know

492
00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:26,880
Speaker 1: I'm happy. UM. I don't particularly mean I love those

493
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:29,359
Speaker 1: types of questions because there's so many variables that go

494
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:31,760
Speaker 1: into it. But I am not. I'm not someone who

495
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:34,680
Speaker 1: who is ever going to regret anything I do, because

496
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:38,639
Speaker 1: I am someone who's such a big believer in perspective. UM.

497
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:42,040
Speaker 1: And you only get perspective through experiencing life, and that

498
00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:45,879
Speaker 1: doesn't mean all those experiences end up being the outcome

499
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 1: that you want. UM. And obviously this experience has given

500
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:51,840
Speaker 1: me a lot of perspective and taught me about myself.

501
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:55,479
Speaker 1: That's not to say that it hasn't, UM. You know,

502
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:57,280
Speaker 1: like at this point in my life, you know, there's

503
00:24:57,280 --> 00:25:01,159
Speaker 1: a lot of unknowns, you know, certainly not ex I

504
00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:04,520
Speaker 1: didn't necessarily expect to be in the position that I am,

505
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:07,080
Speaker 1: you know, like from a personal standpoint, relationship wise, but

506
00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:09,040
Speaker 1: I also still have a lot to be thankful for,

507
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:12,520
Speaker 1: and I am very thankful for what I've gained from it,

508
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:15,240
Speaker 1: and I've gained certainly still a lot of great relationships

509
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:19,679
Speaker 1: with friends, and I still was able to have some

510
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:24,840
Speaker 1: incredible experiences and memories with Vanessa that will always cherish. Um.

511
00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:26,320
Speaker 1: But it's not to say they don't have, like, you know,

512
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:29,000
Speaker 1: insecurities and and kind of things that where do I

513
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,639
Speaker 1: go from here in my life? And you know, the

514
00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:34,119
Speaker 1: show itself, I think can kind of leave you sometimes

515
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:38,199
Speaker 1: a little scarred in terms of, you know, you know,

516
00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:39,800
Speaker 1: from a dating standpoint. I don't know if you guys

517
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:41,160
Speaker 1: are talking like what are you some of your big

518
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:43,800
Speaker 1: insecurities about dating? Are we all single? I was just

519
00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:47,480
Speaker 1: gonna say, um, I remember when Lauren and Ben broke

520
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:50,399
Speaker 1: up and he was talking about how daunting just jumping

521
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:53,000
Speaker 1: back into dating would be, and the fact that like

522
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:56,399
Speaker 1: all three, right, all of us are just like such lovers,

523
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:58,200
Speaker 1: Like we're not somebody who's like if we don't get married,

524
00:25:58,240 --> 00:25:59,840
Speaker 1: not a big deal. Like all of us like want

525
00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:02,720
Speaker 1: to be with someone. You know, we are romantics. Yeah,

526
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:05,800
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, as I got older, you know,

527
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:08,240
Speaker 1: growing up in my early twenties and having the parents

528
00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:11,119
Speaker 1: that I had and who got married in early twenties,

529
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:14,159
Speaker 1: and you know, UM, I always wanted to emulate that.

530
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,520
Speaker 1: As I got older, and you know, I hadn't settled

531
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 1: down yet, I learned the value of trying to appreciate

532
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:22,119
Speaker 1: where it was in life. So if I was in

533
00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:24,560
Speaker 1: a relationship grade if I wasn't, you know, I didn't

534
00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:27,600
Speaker 1: want to jump in a relationship just to have someone

535
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,920
Speaker 1: to chill with on Sundays, so to speak. You know, UM,

536
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:33,040
Speaker 1: And I think there's a lot of value and being

537
00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:36,119
Speaker 1: comfortable with being with yourself, right. I don't think you

538
00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:38,440
Speaker 1: really can give yourself fully to someone unless you're you're

539
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:43,240
Speaker 1: comfortable with being alone, you know. Um, and you know,

540
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:47,640
Speaker 1: but at this point, you know, um, you know, having

541
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:50,120
Speaker 1: all said that it would have been nice to have

542
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:53,400
Speaker 1: someone um in my life that you know, I can

543
00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:57,119
Speaker 1: I know there's a future with so to speak. Um,

544
00:26:57,160 --> 00:27:00,280
Speaker 1: And yeah, I think coming out of this world. You know,

545
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:04,320
Speaker 1: I don't know how how Ben feels about this, but um,

546
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:09,040
Speaker 1: you kind of don't know what what it's like. I mean,

547
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:11,240
Speaker 1: I'm nowhere close to dating at this point, but you

548
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:15,720
Speaker 1: you don't know what that looks like. Right, Um, it's

549
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:18,439
Speaker 1: just weird when you think, like, oh, I, in my

550
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:20,959
Speaker 1: mind I was going to be with this person forever

551
00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:25,080
Speaker 1: and now all those like sort of fantasies are crushed,

552
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:27,159
Speaker 1: and now I have to start all over again in

553
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:31,000
Speaker 1: this process. Yeah. I mean there's that. That's the obvious one.

554
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:34,600
Speaker 1: There's I mean, like I suppose when it comes to

555
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:38,879
Speaker 1: for me, if I'm being totally you know, candid for

556
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:43,639
Speaker 1: you guys friends of show, Um, I I suppose my

557
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:46,640
Speaker 1: greatest insecureing it comes to dating is you know, it's

558
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:49,399
Speaker 1: not the ability to like meet women or you know,

559
00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:53,679
Speaker 1: and there's a lot of wonderful, beautiful, great women out there. Um,

560
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:58,320
Speaker 1: it's just my I think my biggest insecurity is that

561
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:01,680
Speaker 1: the the women or say a woman that I might

562
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:04,920
Speaker 1: find myself to be interested in, I all the insecurity

563
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:09,399
Speaker 1: that I won't get the opportunity to get to know

564
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:12,919
Speaker 1: them out of fear of kind of being prejudged about

565
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:16,360
Speaker 1: my experiences. I've been so willing to kind of put

566
00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:18,880
Speaker 1: out there over the past few years, like I've never

567
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:21,119
Speaker 1: doubted my confidence in my ability if I get an

568
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:23,280
Speaker 1: opportunity to talk to someone having to get to know me.

569
00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 1: But my fear is insecurity is that, UM, I might

570
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,920
Speaker 1: be prejudged about, you know, like here's this guy who's like, dude,

571
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:32,040
Speaker 1: you how many times you go on this show, and like,

572
00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:34,480
Speaker 1: you know at this perception that I might have a

573
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:36,960
Speaker 1: lot of baggage or something like that. And I don't

574
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:38,920
Speaker 1: personally think I do. I mean, it's not to say

575
00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:41,160
Speaker 1: I don't have things, but like I guess I just

576
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:43,080
Speaker 1: have some insecures that I feel like the person I'll

577
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:46,040
Speaker 1: be interested in might not be interested in me. Whoever

578
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:47,920
Speaker 1: that is, I don't know, um, and how will I

579
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 1: be able to overcome that or will I even get

580
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:54,479
Speaker 1: the opportunity? Um, you know, And so I don't know.

581
00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:56,120
Speaker 1: I don't know if that makes any sense. No, that's

582
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:58,880
Speaker 1: very honest, and I think for me, I sort of relate.

583
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:00,680
Speaker 1: I think we've talked about this in the podcast before.

584
00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 1: Because the whole virginity topic is out there, I feel

585
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:06,560
Speaker 1: like I won't get to know certain people that I

586
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:09,480
Speaker 1: want to get to know because they won't consider me

587
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:13,360
Speaker 1: an option because of that that thing I come along

588
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:15,440
Speaker 1: with still the vision I'm gonna asked you in a while,

589
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:17,640
Speaker 1: there's a serious question. I don't know. I don't. I

590
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:20,680
Speaker 1: don't keep literally like this is like five weeks ago.

591
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:24,520
Speaker 1: It is actually insane. But despite that, I don't ask

592
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:30,760
Speaker 1: you about your sexual life hanging out probably although I

593
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:32,880
Speaker 1: feel like you'll be one of the first people to know.

594
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:34,960
Speaker 1: I feel like if it ever happens, it'll probably just

595
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:42,160
Speaker 1: be obvious like that five days of the summer, the

596
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:45,600
Speaker 1: world will stop for a little bit. It will be beautiful,

597
00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:52,080
Speaker 1: be this badass boss lady, just so much way. I

598
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:55,680
Speaker 1: want you to answer this as you feel comfortable. Um,

599
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:57,959
Speaker 1: but can you talk to us a little bit and

600
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,360
Speaker 1: even to trade really with the list are is out

601
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:02,960
Speaker 1: there for people have gone through breakup? What happened? And

602
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:07,440
Speaker 1: how do you handle a breakup? Well? Moving on, moving forward? Well,

603
00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:08,960
Speaker 1: I mean as far as what happened, I'm going to

604
00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:15,000
Speaker 1: keep that between you know, mess I just respect for her. Um,

605
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:18,160
Speaker 1: you know what you know, all I can say is

606
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:19,440
Speaker 1: kind of what it's already been out there is that

607
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:21,080
Speaker 1: and I'm you know, I know Ben, you and I

608
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:24,640
Speaker 1: have had this conversation, is that, Um, I think those

609
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:27,040
Speaker 1: heartbreaking thing about it, I think that we both feel

610
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:31,120
Speaker 1: is just knowing how much we both really tried and

611
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:34,680
Speaker 1: the efforts we put into it, and um, I think

612
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:37,120
Speaker 1: it's easy to ask yourself a lot of questions about

613
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:42,120
Speaker 1: certain things and just maybe accepting that, um, it just

614
00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:46,280
Speaker 1: wasn't gonna work. Um, but I know we both really tried.

615
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:51,600
Speaker 1: And that's sometimes it's heartbreaking in an in of itself. Uh,

616
00:30:52,040 --> 00:30:55,400
Speaker 1: to have so much love and respect for each other

617
00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 1: m and just unable to find that you know that

618
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:04,440
Speaker 1: m M, that whatever you want to call it, that

619
00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:09,440
Speaker 1: ability to just um make it work. And so um

620
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:12,800
Speaker 1: you know where you go from here? Um, you know,

621
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:15,080
Speaker 1: you just keep going. You just wake up, get out

622
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:18,360
Speaker 1: of bed. You know. Oh, I know that feeling. It's

623
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:22,040
Speaker 1: the worse feeling, like that waking up after like heartbreak.

624
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:25,080
Speaker 1: Isn't the waking up part the worse, right, I mean

625
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 1: those those emotions when you get like when you know,

626
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:31,480
Speaker 1: like that anxiety you feel and then like sometimes you

627
00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:33,560
Speaker 1: go to about out up your exhaustion and you wake

628
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 1: up and then your body just fills up with things

629
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:37,640
Speaker 1: like it legit fills up overnight and then you get

630
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:39,680
Speaker 1: through the day, but then you wake up again and

631
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:43,440
Speaker 1: you just have to let it drain out again. Yeah,

632
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:46,680
Speaker 1: I mean I again, I've I think the important thing

633
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:50,640
Speaker 1: for me is I just try to. I get anxiety

634
00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:52,920
Speaker 1: all the time, and I'm not even talking about like,

635
00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:56,760
Speaker 1: you know, when relationship ends. But um, I mean I

636
00:31:56,760 --> 00:32:02,720
Speaker 1: get it like all the time most of the um um.

637
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:05,560
Speaker 1: And so I but I do find sometimes that when

638
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:10,400
Speaker 1: I most feeling the most anxiety, UM, I kind of tried.

639
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:13,400
Speaker 1: I realized that sometimes I'm focusing too much on myself,

640
00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:15,760
Speaker 1: I think, which we all conduce to a certain and

641
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:17,600
Speaker 1: that's something that like I'm trying to be selfish or whatever.

642
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:19,640
Speaker 1: I'm just like, I think it's very easy to like,

643
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:22,960
Speaker 1: you know, there's a balance between being self reflective and

644
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:25,880
Speaker 1: just constantly thinking about yourself, like where I'm in my life,

645
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:27,960
Speaker 1: like when if I am not going to meet someone else,

646
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:29,520
Speaker 1: you know, all those things that you think about when

647
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:32,640
Speaker 1: you say, for example, end of relationship or you know,

648
00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:36,320
Speaker 1: maybe it's your job or day to day um. And

649
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:39,200
Speaker 1: it's very easy to like, you know, whether you're maybe

650
00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:41,720
Speaker 1: you're someone who might be strungly with money or finances

651
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:43,520
Speaker 1: or whatever it is that you know through life. I

652
00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:45,440
Speaker 1: always find that when I have the most anxiety, I'm

653
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:48,040
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about all these things where I'm worrying, and

654
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:51,400
Speaker 1: I try to balance that with not thinking about myself.

655
00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:55,080
Speaker 1: So I try to, like, you know, ask more questions

656
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:58,440
Speaker 1: of people, you know, my family check in. Maybe it's

657
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:00,840
Speaker 1: you know, whether it's a volun tearing thing or whether

658
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:05,280
Speaker 1: it's just um not thinking about you, you know, because

659
00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:07,080
Speaker 1: sometimes you just need to get out of your own head,

660
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:10,040
Speaker 1: which I struggle with sometimes. And when I do that,

661
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:13,200
Speaker 1: I find that I have a little less anxiety. Um.

662
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:15,440
Speaker 1: And I think that's important sometimes for me. Right now,

663
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:17,920
Speaker 1: it's it's just things are going to happen, you know,

664
00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:21,680
Speaker 1: and no matter, no amount of of worrying about it

665
00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:25,200
Speaker 1: is really going to change anything. Um. And so it's

666
00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:26,960
Speaker 1: it's one thing to be stuff where it's another thing

667
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,800
Speaker 1: to let your insecurities and kind of cripple you and

668
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:32,480
Speaker 1: have you filed anxiety every day? And so um, those

669
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:35,080
Speaker 1: things I've I've learned over time and it's still hard

670
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:38,200
Speaker 1: to implement, but I try to on a daily business.

671
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:42,680
Speaker 1: It's uh, it's crazy Nick listening to you. I mean

672
00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:45,600
Speaker 1: you you've always been you know, and I don't just

673
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:47,880
Speaker 1: mean this to pump you up a bit, but you

674
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:50,320
Speaker 1: have been a man that is so thoughtful and you

675
00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 1: are very self you know, self aware, So you do

676
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:55,600
Speaker 1: get into your own head a lot. You live in

677
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:57,360
Speaker 1: your own head a lot, and that allows you then

678
00:33:57,360 --> 00:34:00,640
Speaker 1: to communicate your thoughts very easily and clearly. And I'm

679
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:02,600
Speaker 1: listening to you and I'm like, oh, man, that's exactly

680
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:04,440
Speaker 1: I felt, or oh he's speaking, you know. I just

681
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:05,880
Speaker 1: want to be like I can really, I can really

682
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:07,760
Speaker 1: I felt that way. I felt that way. I've been

683
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:11,279
Speaker 1: there to as you talk, um, but the truth of

684
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:14,440
Speaker 1: it is, it's just not ideal, and you do have

685
00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:17,239
Speaker 1: to move forward. And I think as I'm listening to

686
00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:20,360
Speaker 1: I'm I'm like just getting just thinking back on my

687
00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:22,320
Speaker 1: experience to this. And then one of the hardest parts,

688
00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:24,520
Speaker 1: and I don't know if you felt this way at all,

689
00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:27,279
Speaker 1: is um, you live in this world right after the

690
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:29,239
Speaker 1: show and during the show with somebody that you really

691
00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:30,960
Speaker 1: care about and that you fall in love with, and

692
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:32,759
Speaker 1: you have some of the best memories that you know

693
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:34,359
Speaker 1: you'll probably have for the rest of your life. You live,

694
00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:36,160
Speaker 1: you do some of the coolest experiences, you meet some

695
00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:38,319
Speaker 1: of the best people with this person by your side,

696
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:40,880
Speaker 1: and then that ends, and then life is kind of

697
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:42,880
Speaker 1: wide open and you no longer have that person by

698
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:45,160
Speaker 1: your side, and you're doing all these experiences now alone

699
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:48,000
Speaker 1: and without somebody there to share them with, and without

700
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,440
Speaker 1: somebody there to build a life with, and and for

701
00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:53,719
Speaker 1: me personally, that's the moments my insecurities really started to

702
00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:56,080
Speaker 1: rise because I thought, once again, hey, you know what,

703
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:57,879
Speaker 1: I'm gonna keep doing this, Like I gotta get really

704
00:34:57,880 --> 00:35:00,560
Speaker 1: comfortable being alone because this is my life, this is

705
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:03,280
Speaker 1: this is this is who I'm going to be. Um

706
00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:05,000
Speaker 1: And it sounds like you're at a place right now

707
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:06,880
Speaker 1: where I guess what I'm trying to get to is

708
00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:09,360
Speaker 1: are you moving forward? Are you still just trying to

709
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:14,320
Speaker 1: figure it out? Uh? I guess neither. I mean always forward,

710
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:17,280
Speaker 1: I suppose. I mean I'm always gonna try to move forward.

711
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:18,839
Speaker 1: But like right now, I'm just kind of a point

712
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:22,840
Speaker 1: in my life where, you know, it's still relatively recent,

713
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:28,840
Speaker 1: so I'm not trying to force it right. You just

714
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:30,759
Speaker 1: kind of have to let it happen. I get what

715
00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:33,680
Speaker 1: you're saying, Like I'm not. I've spent like two your

716
00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 1: when we sort of I've spent a lot of my

717
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:40,040
Speaker 1: time recently, Like you know, I went home to Chicago

718
00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 1: to do my fantasy football draft with my hotel friends,

719
00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:44,319
Speaker 1: and I went back to Milwaukee and hung out with

720
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:47,120
Speaker 1: my family. Then I came back here for a little bit.

721
00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:49,080
Speaker 1: Then I went to New York for a wedding and

722
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:51,520
Speaker 1: saw some friends there, and then I went to Dallas

723
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:54,200
Speaker 1: to just visit a buddy, right, And so it's been

724
00:35:54,239 --> 00:35:58,880
Speaker 1: a lot of that. Um. I've gone out, um to

725
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:02,440
Speaker 1: the you know, the bars or whatever a few times

726
00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:06,480
Speaker 1: in those moments, and that's a struggle, UM, just because

727
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:10,000
Speaker 1: you know, it's you don't know how to for me.

728
00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:11,720
Speaker 1: I guess I suppose I don't know how to handle

729
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:15,480
Speaker 1: myself fromtimes. I don't know how you felt, Ben, But

730
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:19,040
Speaker 1: sometimes at the level of paranoia, um of you know,

731
00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:20,920
Speaker 1: everyone's got a camera phone. You just kind of want

732
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:22,400
Speaker 1: to hang with your friends, but you know, obviously some

733
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:24,359
Speaker 1: people might ask to take a picture, so you want

734
00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:26,359
Speaker 1: to be polite, but you you don't want to give

735
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:29,480
Speaker 1: up there. You don't want to give the wrong impression. UM.

736
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:32,040
Speaker 1: And so sometimes, UM, I getting you know, I've got

737
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:34,319
Speaker 1: an anxiety about that. So I've just tried to lay

738
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:36,200
Speaker 1: low a little bit, you know. So I haven't really

739
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:39,400
Speaker 1: got to the moment. I haven't experienced a ton of things.

740
00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously going to the wedding, UM, it was

741
00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:46,280
Speaker 1: you know, weird in a sense because I went by myself,

742
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:50,000
Speaker 1: but it was also I was so happy for Charlene

743
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:53,480
Speaker 1: and Andy, um and just so excited about the relationship

744
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:56,000
Speaker 1: that Um, I saw a lot of fun and I'm

745
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:59,680
Speaker 1: talking about UM. You know what helps is like, you know,

746
00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:02,120
Speaker 1: that particular day, it would have been easy for me

747
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:06,240
Speaker 1: to been like, well, I'm not a wedding by myself, Um,

748
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:09,680
Speaker 1: that sucks. I was just more excited for Andy and

749
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:13,439
Speaker 1: Charlene uh and and focused on why I was there,

750
00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:16,000
Speaker 1: and that day wasn't about me. It was about them,

751
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:18,239
Speaker 1: And you know that helped. And I had a lot

752
00:37:18,239 --> 00:37:21,600
Speaker 1: of fun just being able to share that experience with them.

753
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:23,719
Speaker 1: And so it's just little things like that that that

754
00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 1: helped me deal with some of those things. UM. But yeah, sure, certainly,

755
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:30,680
Speaker 1: like as you go out, there's always gonna be moments

756
00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:32,479
Speaker 1: where it's just like, well, that would have been really nice,

757
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:37,279
Speaker 1: um to share this with someone. But UM, you know,

758
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:41,440
Speaker 1: what what can you do? I think you take everyone

759
00:37:41,480 --> 00:37:43,480
Speaker 1: who goes and this world takes a risk. Obviously, if

760
00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:46,640
Speaker 1: you're the bad the bachelor of the batch sharrette, it's

761
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:49,879
Speaker 1: a little bit bigger of a risk in terms of

762
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:54,680
Speaker 1: how much you commit to the possibility of really trying

763
00:37:54,719 --> 00:37:57,560
Speaker 1: to find that person and being so emotionally open and

764
00:37:57,840 --> 00:38:01,240
Speaker 1: willing to take a huge leap of faith. UM, and

765
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:05,480
Speaker 1: that's not fun to try to except that it didn't

766
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:07,560
Speaker 1: work out. And that's like what I said before, It's

767
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:11,480
Speaker 1: just like, UM, some I get very jealous and envious

768
00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:14,080
Speaker 1: sometimes when I you know, social media and you see

769
00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:17,239
Speaker 1: all the couples who UM, who have been lucky enough

770
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:21,120
Speaker 1: to to have it work out. UM, you know, and

771
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:25,440
Speaker 1: so there's always gonna be criticisms about like, you know,

772
00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:27,759
Speaker 1: why you did it, or if you'd really tried, or

773
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:29,680
Speaker 1: if you took it seriously. That's something I take very

774
00:38:29,719 --> 00:38:32,800
Speaker 1: personal in terms of you know, but you can't react.

775
00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:35,000
Speaker 1: I mean you always see comments sometimes even from people

776
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:37,799
Speaker 1: in the franchise UM who have been lucky enough for

777
00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:42,719
Speaker 1: it to work. It's sometimes disappointing to UM sometimes imply UM,

778
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:46,040
Speaker 1: because they've been so lucky, they might UM be more sincere.

779
00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:48,680
Speaker 1: But you know, what can you do? UM? You know?

780
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:50,319
Speaker 1: Like for example, I don't I knew a little bit

781
00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:53,719
Speaker 1: about your relationship with with Lauren Ben and again, and

782
00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:55,439
Speaker 1: we talked about this. The one thing I always knew

783
00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:57,560
Speaker 1: from you, is that how much you focus on that relation,

784
00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:00,000
Speaker 1: how much you tried, Did you guys make every decisi

785
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:02,000
Speaker 1: and that was rightfuloration? I don't know, you know, no

786
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:04,719
Speaker 1: one ever does. But sometimes it's a little it hurts

787
00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:08,160
Speaker 1: a little better sometimes a little frustrating for sometimes people

788
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:10,719
Speaker 1: to make those comments. But what can you do? Um?

789
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:12,960
Speaker 1: Vanessa and I both know how hard we worked on

790
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:14,920
Speaker 1: our relationship and how much we focused on it and

791
00:39:15,239 --> 00:39:17,880
Speaker 1: how much we still mean to each other. Um, and

792
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:20,080
Speaker 1: I think those are the things that we really focus on.

793
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:24,080
Speaker 1: H Yeah, I mean, you're right. It's it's crazy how

794
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:26,680
Speaker 1: um I was. You know, when I was with Lauren,

795
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:29,799
Speaker 1: I was almost like this invincible force. People could say

796
00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:31,560
Speaker 1: whatever and the heck they wanted to say about me,

797
00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:34,520
Speaker 1: and I would just you know, continue to plug forward

798
00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:36,520
Speaker 1: and it never really sat in. I don't know, it's

799
00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:38,640
Speaker 1: this weird transition for me. So when I was with

800
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:40,160
Speaker 1: her in a relationship, it was kind of like people

801
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:42,759
Speaker 1: could just spout negativity. They could give criticisms, They could

802
00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:44,560
Speaker 1: say whatever they thought about me of being the bachelor,

803
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:46,520
Speaker 1: you know, they should have picked this guy or whatever

804
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:48,880
Speaker 1: whatever they wanted to say. That was was negative and

805
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:50,960
Speaker 1: I just kept moving forward because life was good. And

806
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:55,200
Speaker 1: then as soon as that breakup happened, the comments really

807
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:58,240
Speaker 1: and the criticisms really started to sink in and sink

808
00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:00,239
Speaker 1: in deep, and they and they still do still have

809
00:40:00,239 --> 00:40:02,200
Speaker 1: a huge effect on me. And I'm not quite to

810
00:40:02,239 --> 00:40:03,759
Speaker 1: that place where I can just push those off yet.

811
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:06,760
Speaker 1: I don't know if I ever will be now. Um,

812
00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:08,799
Speaker 1: I don't know, Maybe you know, Like you said, Nick,

813
00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:10,880
Speaker 1: I mean, I can't predict the future, and it's one

814
00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:12,040
Speaker 1: step at a time and that's the best thing I

815
00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:14,360
Speaker 1: can do. I'm a lot better today than I was

816
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:17,719
Speaker 1: maybe two months ago. Um, I'm a lot happier to

817
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:19,440
Speaker 1: than I was two months ago. But it's still it's

818
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:22,319
Speaker 1: still difficult, and I still feel raw, and there's still

819
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:24,960
Speaker 1: a lot of emotion. And I guess because actually and

820
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 1: I are kind of coming off of a time in

821
00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:29,279
Speaker 1: our life where we've gotten some criticism here recently, I

822
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:31,840
Speaker 1: want to ask you, how have you dealt with the

823
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:34,840
Speaker 1: criticism not only from the franchise and being the Bachelor,

824
00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:37,480
Speaker 1: but now post relationship and just in life, Like, how

825
00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:40,520
Speaker 1: do you view that? Well? I mean not to be generic,

826
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:46,040
Speaker 1: but I've gotten really good at not reading stuff Um,

827
00:40:46,080 --> 00:40:49,520
Speaker 1: just being on the show, right we the show has

828
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:53,080
Speaker 1: been long around long enough and you have social media

829
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:55,840
Speaker 1: that at this point, if you go on the show,

830
00:40:57,120 --> 00:41:01,279
Speaker 1: you're gonna get criticism. You know, Like even if like

831
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:05,760
Speaker 1: even the great Ben Higgins on you know, Caitlin season,

832
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:09,200
Speaker 1: who was an overwhelming fan favorite, you still got criticism.

833
00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:11,200
Speaker 1: You know, Like it's no one is ever not going

834
00:41:11,239 --> 00:41:12,719
Speaker 1: to get Some people get more than others. Like my

835
00:41:12,719 --> 00:41:16,319
Speaker 1: season of Andy's I got a ton of criticism. Um,

836
00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:19,200
Speaker 1: I just get surprised when when you know, and obviously

837
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:21,360
Speaker 1: I won't indulge in it, and like there's obviously always

838
00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:23,040
Speaker 1: gonna be a lot of behind the scenes about what

839
00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:25,560
Speaker 1: happened or what didn't happen. I mean I always kind

840
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:26,839
Speaker 1: of get a kick out of some of the things

841
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:32,439
Speaker 1: I read, um, and the perceptions of like decisions I made, um,

842
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:35,680
Speaker 1: you know, And so yeah, I don't know when it

843
00:41:35,719 --> 00:41:39,120
Speaker 1: comes to criticism, I think the overwhelming important things is

844
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 1: that I'm sure you guys all know is, um, the

845
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:45,640
Speaker 1: people who are in your inner inner circle, whether that's

846
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:49,279
Speaker 1: your friends or your loved ones or whatever, those are

847
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:51,960
Speaker 1: the people's opinions who matter, and the people who really

848
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,920
Speaker 1: know you and if certainly if if you get if

849
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:57,480
Speaker 1: I get criticized from my friends or my family and

850
00:41:57,480 --> 00:41:59,400
Speaker 1: they're like, hey, Nick, we kind of think you've been

851
00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:01,520
Speaker 1: an asshole. I'm gonna listen to that, right because those

852
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:04,040
Speaker 1: are people who know me best, who who give me feedback.

853
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:07,239
Speaker 1: But everything else, Um, you just have to try not

854
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:09,680
Speaker 1: to let it bother you. But I get what you're

855
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:12,120
Speaker 1: saying about. I mean, it's it's one thing to know that.

856
00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:16,640
Speaker 1: It's another thing to once in a while indulge in

857
00:42:17,719 --> 00:42:19,960
Speaker 1: what's out there and then you read something and it

858
00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:22,600
Speaker 1: just for whatever reason, just like eats you up, you know,

859
00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:25,839
Speaker 1: it just like like why you know, like it's been

860
00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:27,439
Speaker 1: like a half a day and be like but it's

861
00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:31,440
Speaker 1: not true, like you know, but what are you gonna do?

862
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:35,320
Speaker 1: And again back to you know, dealing with like insecurity

863
00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:37,920
Speaker 1: anxiety is to just try not to indulge in it,

864
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:41,800
Speaker 1: you know, and instead of you never can convince other people.

865
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:47,160
Speaker 1: And I think I just, um, you always you just

866
00:42:47,239 --> 00:42:49,280
Speaker 1: try to focus on the things that's the most important.

867
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:55,040
Speaker 1: I suppose, UM, and and wondering if um, if you know,

868
00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:57,000
Speaker 1: if you're gonna have an insecurity or they're gonna say

869
00:42:57,120 --> 00:42:59,080
Speaker 1: something like you know, maybe just admit that it's an

870
00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:03,040
Speaker 1: insecurity you know, Like sometimes I think the things that

871
00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:04,719
Speaker 1: bother us the most are the things that, you know,

872
00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:07,040
Speaker 1: deep down kind of bother us about ourselves. And then

873
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:08,719
Speaker 1: we hear someone else say it and then you're like,

874
00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:10,719
Speaker 1: you're like really mad about it, and you're a deep

875
00:43:10,719 --> 00:43:12,799
Speaker 1: telling You're like, oh, I can't know that does bother

876
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:15,040
Speaker 1: me about me, you know, but like people are pointing

877
00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:17,680
Speaker 1: it out, UM, So maybe just admit it and just

878
00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:20,480
Speaker 1: kind of deal with it, um instead of like, you know,

879
00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:23,440
Speaker 1: going on social media and yelling at the internet and

880
00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:26,879
Speaker 1: criticizing other people, I would say that be I'd take

881
00:43:27,160 --> 00:43:28,799
Speaker 1: you know, that's one of the worst ways to handle

882
00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:32,600
Speaker 1: it is is using social media as your platform um

883
00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:34,799
Speaker 1: to criticize. You know. You can you could read a

884
00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 1: picture I post today and there's gonna be you know,

885
00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:40,040
Speaker 1: a hundred really great comments to one really negative comment

886
00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:42,120
Speaker 1: that one little negative comment might stand out to me.

887
00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:45,000
Speaker 1: So I'm taking your advice. M I'm gonna commit for

888
00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:47,560
Speaker 1: next week not to read anything because it never goes

889
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:51,400
Speaker 1: well for me. Uh, you know, Nick, before we take collars,

890
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:52,880
Speaker 1: because I want to keep you on to take some

891
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:55,600
Speaker 1: college I think it's gonna be great. Um. You know,

892
00:43:55,640 --> 00:43:57,520
Speaker 1: you and I are both sorry to tell you, and

893
00:43:57,560 --> 00:43:59,319
Speaker 1: I know it's still things. You and I are both

894
00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:02,040
Speaker 1: now single men, and there's one thaying that every single

895
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:04,879
Speaker 1: man needs. We need help, We need a lot of help,

896
00:44:05,239 --> 00:44:07,960
Speaker 1: and I have just a solution for us. Okay, last

897
00:44:08,040 --> 00:44:11,400
Speaker 1: night I started using Blue Apron for the very first time.

898
00:44:11,520 --> 00:44:16,040
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding you. Blue Apron is amazing, Nick. You

899
00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:19,440
Speaker 1: can cook dinners that show up literally to your front door.

900
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:21,920
Speaker 1: You pull out the ingredients, you lay them on your table.

901
00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:23,759
Speaker 1: There's a whole list of things you need to check off.

902
00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:25,920
Speaker 1: There's things you needed to do to get the perfect

903
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:27,640
Speaker 1: dinner started. So I want to tell you Nick about

904
00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:30,719
Speaker 1: Blue Apron, so hopefully yourself and everybody out there will

905
00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:33,200
Speaker 1: purchase this because I'm telling you it's worth it. Here

906
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:35,840
Speaker 1: we go. Blue Apron is the number one fresh ingredient

907
00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:39,719
Speaker 1: recipe delivery service in the country. Blue Apron's mission is

908
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:43,800
Speaker 1: to make incredible home cooking accessible to everyone. Blue Apron

909
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:47,200
Speaker 1: achieves this by supporting a more sustainable food system, setting

910
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:50,200
Speaker 1: the highest standards for ingredients, and building a community of

911
00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:52,919
Speaker 1: home chefs. I'd like to consider myself a home chef.

912
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:56,600
Speaker 1: Blue Apron has established partnerships with a hundred and fifty

913
00:44:56,640 --> 00:45:00,680
Speaker 1: local farms, fisheries and ranches across the unit's eight As

914
00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:05,640
Speaker 1: a result, seafood is sourced sustain sustainably. Understanders developed in

915
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:09,640
Speaker 1: partnerships with the Monterey Bay aquairem Seafood Watch, Beef, chicken,

916
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:14,760
Speaker 1: and pork come from responsibly raised animals. Produce is sourced

917
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:18,880
Speaker 1: from farms at practice Regenerative Farming. Telling you all this

918
00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:22,120
Speaker 1: because Blue Apron ships the exact amount of each ingredient

919
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:24,719
Speaker 1: required for a recipe, and as a result, they are

920
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:29,600
Speaker 1: reducing waste. What did you make then, well, Amy, I'd

921
00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:32,000
Speaker 1: like to tell you eat servings for about two or

922
00:45:32,080 --> 00:45:34,520
Speaker 1: three people. So last night I made steak with a

923
00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:38,160
Speaker 1: side of kale, potatoes and mushrooms. Did you have leftovers

924
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:42,319
Speaker 1: because you are alone? Wow? Amy, thank you, and I

925
00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:44,400
Speaker 1: did not have left because what I've chosen to do

926
00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:46,920
Speaker 1: with my life right now is to fill that void

927
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:50,120
Speaker 1: of having nobody there by eating as much food as possible.

928
00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:55,080
Speaker 1: I'm telling you Blue Apron brings people together right now,

929
00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:58,480
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to bring myself together. So this is

930
00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:01,080
Speaker 1: gonna hurt threat a little bit, but cooking together build

931
00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:03,839
Speaker 1: strong family bonds, of which I have none right now.

932
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:07,400
Speaker 1: Research shows that blue Aprons families cook nearly three times

933
00:46:07,480 --> 00:46:10,400
Speaker 1: more often. Those who spend a lot at restaurants or

934
00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:13,080
Speaker 1: at high end grocery chains can now spend under ten

935
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:16,799
Speaker 1: dollars per person for delicious meal. Finally, check out this

936
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:19,920
Speaker 1: week's menu and get your first three meals for free

937
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:22,839
Speaker 1: with free shipping by going to blue Apron dot com

938
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:25,200
Speaker 1: slash almost famous. Make sure you use that so go

939
00:46:25,239 --> 00:46:27,640
Speaker 1: to blue Apron dot com slash almost famous. You will

940
00:46:27,640 --> 00:46:30,320
Speaker 1: love how good it feels and taste to create incredible

941
00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:33,320
Speaker 1: home cook meals with blue Apron with your family, friends,

942
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:35,879
Speaker 1: or alone. So don't wait. That's blue Apron dot com

943
00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:39,560
Speaker 1: slash almost famous. Blue Apron a better way to cook, Nick,

944
00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:44,040
Speaker 1: that interview was probably one of my top three interviews

945
00:46:44,040 --> 00:46:48,200
Speaker 1: we've done over the past four months. You're just beautifully

946
00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:54,200
Speaker 1: vulnerable and honest, and you're so insightful, and all of

947
00:46:54,239 --> 00:46:56,800
Speaker 1: that that just happened over the past twenty minutes made

948
00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:59,839
Speaker 1: me just It reminded me how much I love you

949
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:02,200
Speaker 1: and how much I appreciate you being such a close

950
00:47:02,239 --> 00:47:05,560
Speaker 1: friend in my life. I feel really mushy towards you

951
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:08,680
Speaker 1: right now. So it is kind of a mushy podcast.

952
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:13,440
Speaker 1: Um No, this one's particularly mushy. We went from being

953
00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:17,200
Speaker 1: quote harsh to now being mushy. This is the perfect

954
00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:25,479
Speaker 1: podcast one. And you guys are all like, I'm sorry, Well,

955
00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:28,800
Speaker 1: we definitely like your feedback on that. Um you guys

956
00:47:28,840 --> 00:47:32,279
Speaker 1: know from last season Paradise three, Nick was kind of

957
00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:35,480
Speaker 1: like my love guru. He has great guy advice for me.

958
00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:38,040
Speaker 1: He always kicks me in the ass and tries to

959
00:47:38,719 --> 00:47:40,880
Speaker 1: kick me out of my fantasy land, which I like

960
00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:44,120
Speaker 1: to stay in. But if you have those who can't teach,

961
00:47:44,200 --> 00:47:47,960
Speaker 1: you know, Yeah, right, I know, but you know men,

962
00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:51,319
Speaker 1: you do know men. Um So I just tweeted out

963
00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:53,319
Speaker 1: if you guys have any good do you have any

964
00:47:53,400 --> 00:47:56,760
Speaker 1: questions about current relationships you're in or need any guy advice,

965
00:47:57,160 --> 00:48:00,480
Speaker 1: you can ask Nick those types of questions and in addition,

966
00:48:00,520 --> 00:48:03,000
Speaker 1: of course, stuff about the Bachelor. So we're gonna start

967
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:06,759
Speaker 1: taking some colors now. You see Ellen from Alabama, she

968
00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:11,680
Speaker 1: needs some advice. Let's get her on the line. Hello, Ellen, Hi,

969
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:20,240
Speaker 1: you're here with Ben Nick and me? Really? Yes, true, Hey,

970
00:48:20,280 --> 00:48:24,680
Speaker 1: I see you need some advice. It's about a guy, Yes,

971
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:28,680
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, sorry I said something. I'm way out. Sorry,

972
00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:32,480
Speaker 1: I'm clumsy. Anyways, Okay, so who is here? It's Nick,

973
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:36,120
Speaker 1: Ben and Ashley. I like Nick, I cannot pronounce his

974
00:48:36,200 --> 00:48:39,040
Speaker 1: last name. What's the name? I love you? I love

975
00:48:39,120 --> 00:48:41,800
Speaker 1: all of you. Okay. So I have some relationship advice

976
00:48:41,880 --> 00:48:46,600
Speaker 1: that's a horrible or not horrible Okay. So I'm talking

977
00:48:46,600 --> 00:48:50,560
Speaker 1: to this guy. Okay. So I'm like really nervous. Why

978
00:48:50,600 --> 00:48:54,239
Speaker 1: I'm so you're not. Don't be nervous nervous Okay. Anyways,

979
00:48:54,920 --> 00:48:56,640
Speaker 1: they're talking to the guy and we've been talking for

980
00:48:56,680 --> 00:49:01,680
Speaker 1: like a month and a half and so, um, what friends?

981
00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:07,319
Speaker 1: What's talking mean? Like? I don't know. Actually, you don't

982
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:10,719
Speaker 1: mind hanging out not dating? Okay, dating? Okay, So it's

983
00:49:10,719 --> 00:49:12,560
Speaker 1: not just texting. You're seeing him in real life. You're

984
00:49:12,600 --> 00:49:15,600
Speaker 1: having phone calls. Yes, have you known him for a while?

985
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:17,479
Speaker 1: Is you like a friend or you just casually met?

986
00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:21,400
Speaker 1: We met at Bible study. Okay, great, that's like a

987
00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:25,640
Speaker 1: great place to meet someone. It really is. Okay. But anyway,

988
00:49:25,680 --> 00:49:28,560
Speaker 1: so we're like texting, talking like whatever, and he's like, hey,

989
00:49:28,560 --> 00:49:30,680
Speaker 1: I'm all was some friends tomorrow? I was like, okay, cool,

990
00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:33,640
Speaker 1: who's gonna be there, just like wondering randomly. He was like,

991
00:49:33,640 --> 00:49:35,040
Speaker 1: just a bunch of guys are not going out with

992
00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:37,399
Speaker 1: some friends from like high school. I was like, okay, cool.

993
00:49:37,480 --> 00:49:40,640
Speaker 1: So I was on snapchat last night. I saw on

994
00:49:40,719 --> 00:49:43,280
Speaker 1: snapchat that there are a bunch of random girls there too,

995
00:49:43,640 --> 00:49:46,000
Speaker 1: you know, And I was like, do you ask in

996
00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:48,200
Speaker 1: front of them about it? Because they rare when we

997
00:49:48,239 --> 00:49:50,520
Speaker 1: came over with some other random guys. So you were

998
00:49:50,560 --> 00:49:54,719
Speaker 1: talking or texting with this guy, something came up. He's like, oh,

999
00:49:54,760 --> 00:49:59,360
Speaker 1: I'm having some guys over. I didn't invite you and

1000
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:06,320
Speaker 1: at night because okay. And then so your question is

1001
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:10,200
Speaker 1: confront about it or just let it go, not if

1002
00:50:10,200 --> 00:50:12,880
Speaker 1: you're just talking. Yeah, I mean, are you at the

1003
00:50:12,880 --> 00:50:19,160
Speaker 1: point in your relationship where you I mean yeah, I

1004
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:21,400
Speaker 1: mean I don't know. I mean I guess you know,

1005
00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:23,160
Speaker 1: we weren't there, right, I think he just this is

1006
00:50:23,160 --> 00:50:25,399
Speaker 1: one of the situations you have to trust your gut, right,

1007
00:50:25,800 --> 00:50:28,960
Speaker 1: I mean, do you feel like I mean, the red

1008
00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:31,600
Speaker 1: flag for me would be it's you're not dating him,

1009
00:50:31,640 --> 00:50:33,360
Speaker 1: so right, he can he's allowed to hang out with

1010
00:50:33,360 --> 00:50:36,120
Speaker 1: other women, right, But for me, it's just like, do

1011
00:50:36,160 --> 00:50:37,799
Speaker 1: you want to get in a relationship with someone who

1012
00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:42,879
Speaker 1: isn't direct, right, And so the question is is, did

1013
00:50:42,880 --> 00:50:44,359
Speaker 1: he just say I'm hanging out with my friend? Did

1014
00:50:44,360 --> 00:50:47,040
Speaker 1: he unnecessarily lie to you about something that was kind

1015
00:50:47,040 --> 00:50:49,200
Speaker 1: of stupid? You know, like he is allowed to hang

1016
00:50:49,200 --> 00:50:50,680
Speaker 1: out with other people, but if you like made a

1017
00:50:50,719 --> 00:50:53,680
Speaker 1: big deal ab having a guy's night and then um,

1018
00:50:53,880 --> 00:50:56,960
Speaker 1: then maybe he's someone who there who isn't direct. Now.

1019
00:50:57,239 --> 00:50:59,240
Speaker 1: At the same time, he also put on a snapchat,

1020
00:50:59,280 --> 00:51:03,040
Speaker 1: so he also wasn't finding anything um per se or

1021
00:51:03,080 --> 00:51:07,360
Speaker 1: just he's not very right. There's that possibility because I

1022
00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:09,960
Speaker 1: never actually I actually never looked a snapchat, and I

1023
00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:12,160
Speaker 1: just looked at it last night and I was bored.

1024
00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:15,000
Speaker 1: Instead of confronting him, why don't you just talk to

1025
00:51:15,040 --> 00:51:17,520
Speaker 1: him about it? Like ask him, like, but not in

1026
00:51:17,520 --> 00:51:20,239
Speaker 1: a confronting way. I wouldn't be like, so, who are

1027
00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:21,560
Speaker 1: those girls and just be like, oh, so, like what

1028
00:51:21,640 --> 00:51:23,840
Speaker 1: you end up doing last night and see what he says, like,

1029
00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:26,040
Speaker 1: don't bring up a snapchat, just kind of be like, oh, yeah,

1030
00:51:26,120 --> 00:51:27,520
Speaker 1: like I was hanging with my guy friends and like

1031
00:51:27,520 --> 00:51:28,879
Speaker 1: so and so I had a bunch of women over.

1032
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:31,560
Speaker 1: But see if he like does see if he brings

1033
00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:34,080
Speaker 1: it up. And if you said some weird things, you

1034
00:51:34,120 --> 00:51:36,879
Speaker 1: know makes sense. I just freak out all the time

1035
00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:39,680
Speaker 1: about nothing. So yeah, we all do you know, it's normal,

1036
00:51:39,760 --> 00:51:42,760
Speaker 1: we all do. All right, thank you for calling Ellen,

1037
00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:48,200
Speaker 1: thanks question or helping me live eyes? All right? Nicole

1038
00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:54,520
Speaker 1: from Salem, Oregon. Hey Nicole, Oh my gosh, it is

1039
00:51:55,960 --> 00:51:57,880
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. I told him myself. Okay, if I

1040
00:51:57,920 --> 00:51:59,920
Speaker 1: ever call, I'm not going to stand girl. I'm just

1041
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:02,080
Speaker 1: going to play it cool. But I just love you

1042
00:52:02,120 --> 00:52:05,840
Speaker 1: so much. But I'm the ultimate fan girl. Okay, you

1043
00:52:05,840 --> 00:52:10,319
Speaker 1: shouldn't feel weird about that. That's true. Are you with Nick?

1044
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:15,440
Speaker 1: And then yes, the Bachelor boys my favorite. I'm not

1045
00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:21,440
Speaker 1: just saying that. Hey my favorite too too. Um. So

1046
00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:24,520
Speaker 1: we hear that you just went through a break up. Yeah,

1047
00:52:24,560 --> 00:52:27,959
Speaker 1: and I heard you guys are giving out free boy advised. Yes,

1048
00:52:32,480 --> 00:52:34,200
Speaker 1: I'm getting paid for this. I don't know if you are.

1049
00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:40,080
Speaker 1: I'm definitely not. Okay, So I just went through a

1050
00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:45,760
Speaker 1: breakup about a week and a half ago, like two years.

1051
00:52:46,360 --> 00:52:49,920
Speaker 1: It sucks, so, um, I guess my question for you

1052
00:52:50,080 --> 00:52:52,080
Speaker 1: right now. Like it's obviously hard, and it's always going

1053
00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:53,480
Speaker 1: to be hard break that's the hard no matter what.

1054
00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:57,319
Speaker 1: I guess my question for you guys is, how do

1055
00:52:57,360 --> 00:52:59,600
Speaker 1: you know if you made the right decision? Because it

1056
00:52:59,840 --> 00:53:03,239
Speaker 1: is so hard at first. How do you know that

1057
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:06,759
Speaker 1: your feelings aren't there because you made a mistake? You

1058
00:53:06,800 --> 00:53:09,320
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying? Like, how do you know if

1059
00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:11,000
Speaker 1: you did the right thing or not? I don't know

1060
00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:13,840
Speaker 1: because I feel like after a breakup, you kind of

1061
00:53:13,880 --> 00:53:17,080
Speaker 1: forget all the little things that added up to why

1062
00:53:17,120 --> 00:53:18,920
Speaker 1: you broke up, and you're just kind of focusing on

1063
00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:20,560
Speaker 1: because I just keep on going back to all of

1064
00:53:20,560 --> 00:53:23,400
Speaker 1: our memories and the great times we had together. And

1065
00:53:24,280 --> 00:53:26,760
Speaker 1: how do you like not second guess yourself? I guess

1066
00:53:28,440 --> 00:53:31,080
Speaker 1: that's this is a I guess I'll start because I

1067
00:53:31,120 --> 00:53:33,000
Speaker 1: think Nick's gonna offer a lot better advice here than

1068
00:53:33,040 --> 00:53:37,480
Speaker 1: I can. Um, you ask a great question, and I

1069
00:53:37,520 --> 00:53:39,480
Speaker 1: mean that, like, this is a tremendous question, one that

1070
00:53:39,560 --> 00:53:42,960
Speaker 1: I've asked my friends and I've asked my family, and

1071
00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:45,399
Speaker 1: I don't think I've received a great answer for it yet.

1072
00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:46,800
Speaker 1: So I would love for Nick to be able to

1073
00:53:47,160 --> 00:53:50,120
Speaker 1: give us that. Um. The one thing I'll tell you is,

1074
00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:52,840
Speaker 1: you know, I've I've I can relate, I can identify

1075
00:53:52,920 --> 00:53:56,160
Speaker 1: with you because you do after a breakup, UM, no

1076
00:53:56,200 --> 00:54:00,000
Speaker 1: matter who breaks up with who, uh, you only remember

1077
00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:02,000
Speaker 1: the really great things, I feel like, and you have

1078
00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:04,560
Speaker 1: to really work to remember the things that really started

1079
00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:08,640
Speaker 1: to separate the relationship, um, which I was at first

1080
00:54:08,719 --> 00:54:10,560
Speaker 1: really angry about because I was like, you know, in

1081
00:54:10,600 --> 00:54:12,480
Speaker 1: my mind, I was like, this was the perfect relationship,

1082
00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:16,160
Speaker 1: this was great, everything was just grand. And then I

1083
00:54:16,200 --> 00:54:18,799
Speaker 1: started to sit down and I started to think about

1084
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:20,439
Speaker 1: the things that really started to separate its I'm like, Okay,

1085
00:54:20,480 --> 00:54:22,839
Speaker 1: there was huge issues. There were there are huge things

1086
00:54:22,840 --> 00:54:25,000
Speaker 1: that needed to be solved, or maybe they weren't solvable.

1087
00:54:25,840 --> 00:54:29,919
Speaker 1: And I guess now that my relationships, I guess I'm single.

1088
00:54:29,960 --> 00:54:31,920
Speaker 1: So I have a couple of relationships that are now done.

1089
00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:36,000
Speaker 1: I would rather look back on the relationship um and

1090
00:54:36,160 --> 00:54:40,560
Speaker 1: admiration and with gladness than I would with anger and resentment.

1091
00:54:40,640 --> 00:54:45,480
Speaker 1: And so because it's done, I guess I'm happy, even

1092
00:54:45,480 --> 00:54:47,360
Speaker 1: though it still hurts and it makes it more confusing,

1093
00:54:47,360 --> 00:54:49,840
Speaker 1: I'm happy I view the relationship in a positive way

1094
00:54:50,680 --> 00:54:53,560
Speaker 1: because the opposite of that would would be harder. And

1095
00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:55,440
Speaker 1: so with that, I'm gonna pass the nick because honestly,

1096
00:54:55,440 --> 00:54:57,440
Speaker 1: I'm gonna listen really carefully. I don't have any word

1097
00:54:57,480 --> 00:55:00,200
Speaker 1: of advice for you, and I'm sorry on the other thing. Okay,

1098
00:55:00,520 --> 00:55:02,719
Speaker 1: it's a hard question. It's a hard You're sent me

1099
00:55:02,760 --> 00:55:06,600
Speaker 1: up for failure. Ben, Hi, how are you? I'm sorry

1100
00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:09,759
Speaker 1: about your recent data. UM. I don't know if I

1101
00:55:09,760 --> 00:55:11,680
Speaker 1: have good advice, but I think and Ben kind of

1102
00:55:11,719 --> 00:55:15,120
Speaker 1: alluded to something I agree with. I just think I

1103
00:55:15,120 --> 00:55:17,239
Speaker 1: think it's important to remember in a relationship, and something

1104
00:55:17,239 --> 00:55:21,239
Speaker 1: I tried to do UM is that every relationship that

1105
00:55:21,320 --> 00:55:23,800
Speaker 1: fails that you have like it doesn't mean necessarily it

1106
00:55:23,880 --> 00:55:28,160
Speaker 1: was a failure. And I hope that, like, listen, you

1107
00:55:28,160 --> 00:55:32,520
Speaker 1: should feel lucky that in a way that being breaking

1108
00:55:32,520 --> 00:55:34,080
Speaker 1: out someone isn't easy, because that means you really love

1109
00:55:34,120 --> 00:55:35,719
Speaker 1: someone and you really cared about them, and even though

1110
00:55:35,719 --> 00:55:38,520
Speaker 1: it didn't work out. I mean, the alternative is not

1111
00:55:38,600 --> 00:55:41,840
Speaker 1: giving a UM, and that was probably really suck to

1112
00:55:41,880 --> 00:55:43,800
Speaker 1: think that you spent two years with your life with

1113
00:55:43,920 --> 00:55:47,040
Speaker 1: someone that ultimately when it ended, you didn't care. UM.

1114
00:55:47,560 --> 00:55:49,719
Speaker 1: So I just think it's really important to remember that

1115
00:55:50,160 --> 00:55:53,280
Speaker 1: UM and be thankful that you really love this person

1116
00:55:53,320 --> 00:55:55,600
Speaker 1: and even though it didn't work out. It's it's actually

1117
00:55:55,680 --> 00:55:58,040
Speaker 1: quite normal to think that and nastily it's good and

1118
00:55:58,080 --> 00:56:00,560
Speaker 1: it's okay, and so not don't be your self up.

1119
00:56:00,600 --> 00:56:03,840
Speaker 1: But like to Ben's point, you know, when you once

1120
00:56:03,960 --> 00:56:06,040
Speaker 1: you can accept that and just be okay with it,

1121
00:56:06,080 --> 00:56:08,319
Speaker 1: you do follow your gut. It's it is important to

1122
00:56:08,320 --> 00:56:12,759
Speaker 1: remember why you broke up, right. Um, it doesn't make

1123
00:56:12,800 --> 00:56:14,880
Speaker 1: the other person not a good person. It just means

1124
00:56:14,920 --> 00:56:17,840
Speaker 1: that you know, ultimately, you know, I think we're all

1125
00:56:17,880 --> 00:56:19,759
Speaker 1: in agreement that we're just hoping to find that one

1126
00:56:19,800 --> 00:56:21,800
Speaker 1: person that we're lucky enough to be able to spend

1127
00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:23,799
Speaker 1: the less our lives with someone who you feel like

1128
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:27,120
Speaker 1: understands you and and not only can be there now,

1129
00:56:27,160 --> 00:56:30,040
Speaker 1: but like be there you know, for you, like when

1130
00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:34,439
Speaker 1: you're old and ugly. Um, it's yeah, it's it's hard

1131
00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:39,160
Speaker 1: to find. So you know you should you know, um,

1132
00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:42,600
Speaker 1: have I expectations of your partnering yourself and and and

1133
00:56:42,640 --> 00:56:46,640
Speaker 1: he should have that too, and um yeah, just uh

1134
00:56:46,960 --> 00:56:49,400
Speaker 1: that's okay, and and focus but just I don't have

1135
00:56:49,440 --> 00:56:51,879
Speaker 1: an advice, but only just to accept that it's it's

1136
00:56:51,920 --> 00:56:54,520
Speaker 1: actually normal to think that and instead of having it

1137
00:56:54,640 --> 00:56:57,279
Speaker 1: second guess yourself. Be thankful that you were in a

1138
00:56:57,280 --> 00:56:59,400
Speaker 1: relationship where you cared so deeply about the guy that

1139
00:56:59,440 --> 00:57:03,120
Speaker 1: it wasn't easy to walk away. Yeah, that's a good

1140
00:57:03,120 --> 00:57:06,840
Speaker 1: point of view to have. And yeah, no, I definitely

1141
00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:08,680
Speaker 1: get that. And every time I get sad, I just

1142
00:57:08,680 --> 00:57:10,960
Speaker 1: like keep on going back to those times, like, hey,

1143
00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:12,880
Speaker 1: remember when he did this to you? And I just

1144
00:57:12,920 --> 00:57:15,279
Speaker 1: get like mad all over again. But I think that's

1145
00:57:15,280 --> 00:57:17,400
Speaker 1: just fun coping with being sad right now, it's normal.

1146
00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:20,960
Speaker 1: Don't beat yourself up. It's pretty early. I mean, what

1147
00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:23,400
Speaker 1: do they say, like, if you're with someone, it's supposed

1148
00:57:23,400 --> 00:57:25,000
Speaker 1: to be half the amount of time you were with someone.

1149
00:57:25,040 --> 00:57:26,680
Speaker 1: That's a little long. Like I don't think you should

1150
00:57:26,680 --> 00:57:31,200
Speaker 1: find act for a year. But you know, let I

1151
00:57:31,200 --> 00:57:34,080
Speaker 1: hope not let yourself grieve. You know, you'll be fine.

1152
00:57:34,280 --> 00:57:36,320
Speaker 1: And Nicole, I wish I could give some insight, but

1153
00:57:36,360 --> 00:57:38,800
Speaker 1: I've only broken up with people who weren't actually my boyfriend.

1154
00:57:38,920 --> 00:57:43,040
Speaker 1: So so thank you for your call. We're going to

1155
00:57:43,080 --> 00:57:45,680
Speaker 1: move on. We are going to talk about one of

1156
00:57:45,720 --> 00:57:49,520
Speaker 1: my favorite sponsors, fab fit Fun. You guys love fab

1157
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1158
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1159
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1160
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1161
00:58:05,320 --> 00:58:06,919
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1162
00:58:06,920 --> 00:58:08,480
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1163
00:58:08,520 --> 00:58:11,520
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1164
00:58:11,600 --> 00:58:14,400
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1165
00:58:14,440 --> 00:58:18,760
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1166
00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:22,720
Speaker 1: and shiny lip bomb crown that's worth twenty eight dollars.

1167
00:58:22,760 --> 00:58:25,640
Speaker 1: A party jim bag. I've seen this gym bag all

1168
00:58:25,680 --> 00:58:28,920
Speaker 1: over the Bachelor Girls instagrams and it looks really good.

1169
00:58:28,960 --> 00:58:31,160
Speaker 1: It could also, of course be used as a carry

1170
00:58:31,160 --> 00:58:33,280
Speaker 1: on bag on a plane and just like an overnight bag,

1171
00:58:33,560 --> 00:58:36,720
Speaker 1: and it is worth fifty nine dollars. Then there's also

1172
00:58:36,760 --> 00:58:40,200
Speaker 1: this cute wire heart ceramic jewelry holder that's worth thirty

1173
00:58:40,240 --> 00:58:43,360
Speaker 1: three dollars. A mud mask. This mud mask must be

1174
00:58:43,400 --> 00:58:46,400
Speaker 1: great because it's worth forty eight dollars. But you're gonna

1175
00:58:46,400 --> 00:58:50,920
Speaker 1: get all of this for less than forty when you

1176
00:58:51,040 --> 00:58:55,000
Speaker 1: use our code almost Famous. Don't forget you're getting a

1177
00:58:55,040 --> 00:58:58,400
Speaker 1: box worth of two hundred dollars worth of merchandise for

1178
00:58:58,640 --> 00:59:01,439
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1179
00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:04,080
Speaker 1: And you get this amazing box four times a year.

1180
00:59:04,720 --> 00:59:07,360
Speaker 1: You're going to find something in this box each quarter

1181
00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:09,960
Speaker 1: that you're going to use probably for the rest of

1182
00:59:10,000 --> 00:59:11,920
Speaker 1: your life. You're just going to continue to buy it.

1183
00:59:11,920 --> 00:59:16,000
Speaker 1: It is just a gold mind of fines. So head

1184
00:59:16,040 --> 00:59:18,960
Speaker 1: over a fab fod fun plug in almost famous and

1185
00:59:19,040 --> 00:59:23,280
Speaker 1: get your box for like thirty nine dollars, Like what

1186
00:59:23,480 --> 00:59:27,040
Speaker 1: is that to steal? Okay, so now we're gonna move

1187
00:59:27,040 --> 00:59:31,120
Speaker 1: on to Caitlin. Caitlin, you have a question for the boys.

1188
00:59:32,520 --> 00:59:37,479
Speaker 1: I do all right, buddy, Hi, what is it? Um?

1189
00:59:37,520 --> 00:59:40,680
Speaker 1: So my question is for Nick and Ben. And I

1190
00:59:40,760 --> 00:59:43,680
Speaker 1: was wondering, you know, you go through this process, um,

1191
00:59:43,840 --> 00:59:45,760
Speaker 1: being on the Bachelor, and you really get to know

1192
00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:49,360
Speaker 1: all these women very well, um or you know, so

1193
00:59:49,480 --> 00:59:53,120
Speaker 1: you think? And my question was after the show airs,

1194
00:59:53,360 --> 00:59:56,080
Speaker 1: does your opinion or did your opinion of any of

1195
00:59:56,120 --> 01:00:09,320
Speaker 1: the women on your season's um chained at all? M question? Nick? Uh? No, um,

1196
01:00:09,480 --> 01:00:15,800
Speaker 1: not really yeah and not really UM. I like to

1197
01:00:15,880 --> 01:00:18,680
Speaker 1: think that. I mean, listen, I I didn't presume to

1198
01:00:18,840 --> 01:00:22,439
Speaker 1: know uh a lot of the women who I sent

1199
01:00:22,520 --> 01:00:26,880
Speaker 1: home relatively quickly, um. I you know, like the women

1200
01:00:26,880 --> 01:00:28,920
Speaker 1: who went home night one I didn't. I didn't get

1201
01:00:28,960 --> 01:00:31,200
Speaker 1: to know them, so I didn't form an opinion one

1202
01:00:31,200 --> 01:00:33,000
Speaker 1: way or the other. I wasn't going to judge them,

1203
01:00:33,040 --> 01:00:34,680
Speaker 1: you know, not having an opportunity to know them. And

1204
01:00:34,920 --> 01:00:36,800
Speaker 1: the same kind of goes for for some of those

1205
01:00:37,280 --> 01:00:41,280
Speaker 1: women that went home in the first couple of weeks. Um,

1206
01:00:41,320 --> 01:00:43,440
Speaker 1: I didn't have this idea that any of these women

1207
01:00:43,520 --> 01:00:46,440
Speaker 1: were perfect, Nor am I perfect, you know what I'm saying,

1208
01:00:46,480 --> 01:00:49,280
Speaker 1: Like so, but I wasn't like overly shocked by like

1209
01:00:49,480 --> 01:00:51,959
Speaker 1: I did not like this is a totally different person

1210
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:55,200
Speaker 1: than I thought. Like I never had that thought, you know. Like, Um,

1211
01:00:55,240 --> 01:00:58,000
Speaker 1: my interpretation of your season though, was that you were

1212
01:00:58,080 --> 01:00:59,880
Speaker 1: just set on it being Vanessa. You knew it was

1213
01:01:00,000 --> 01:01:02,320
Speaker 1: to be Vanessa's, so like you just had to stick

1214
01:01:02,360 --> 01:01:04,680
Speaker 1: with protocol and go on date to the other people,

1215
01:01:05,240 --> 01:01:07,360
Speaker 1: and you didn't invest much in them, and you probably

1216
01:01:07,400 --> 01:01:09,200
Speaker 1: didn't like that much. But you're like, I gotta do

1217
01:01:09,240 --> 01:01:11,520
Speaker 1: this anyway. I would totally disagree with that. You would

1218
01:01:11,560 --> 01:01:16,840
Speaker 1: not totally disagree. I would totally disagree with you. There's

1219
01:01:16,880 --> 01:01:19,240
Speaker 1: no there's no big secret that I had a very

1220
01:01:19,240 --> 01:01:22,160
Speaker 1: early connection with Vanessa, and Um, I don't know how

1221
01:01:22,320 --> 01:01:23,800
Speaker 1: what Ben's thought, because I know he had a very

1222
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:28,080
Speaker 1: early connection with with Lauren. But um, there's one there's

1223
01:01:28,080 --> 01:01:30,520
Speaker 1: a difference between thinking I really think this could be

1224
01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:33,680
Speaker 1: the one and this whole time thinking this might be

1225
01:01:33,720 --> 01:01:37,160
Speaker 1: the one, but knowing that you are still like in

1226
01:01:37,200 --> 01:01:39,960
Speaker 1: week two, right, and to your point, you still have

1227
01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:42,640
Speaker 1: to go on dates, and it's behooves yourself to like

1228
01:01:42,920 --> 01:01:46,760
Speaker 1: still remain open, right because even though I hadn't like

1229
01:01:46,960 --> 01:01:49,919
Speaker 1: an amazing date with Vanessa, like you never know, things

1230
01:01:49,920 --> 01:01:53,360
Speaker 1: could have changed, you know, Um, things only got better,

1231
01:01:53,680 --> 01:01:55,960
Speaker 1: But like you have to be open, you know. And

1232
01:01:56,000 --> 01:01:59,360
Speaker 1: so I guess what I disagree with what you said

1233
01:01:59,400 --> 01:02:02,760
Speaker 1: is that I still very important for me to get

1234
01:02:02,800 --> 01:02:04,640
Speaker 1: to know these women as much as I could within

1235
01:02:04,680 --> 01:02:07,360
Speaker 1: the time limits that I had. So like I really was,

1236
01:02:07,800 --> 01:02:10,720
Speaker 1: you know, trying to like learn about Rachel and Raven

1237
01:02:10,760 --> 01:02:13,840
Speaker 1: and and you know, obviously the women who went really far,

1238
01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:16,320
Speaker 1: and I do feel like I really got to know them,

1239
01:02:16,320 --> 01:02:19,800
Speaker 1: and you know, um really cared for them, you know,

1240
01:02:20,040 --> 01:02:21,960
Speaker 1: as much as I could in the relationship. But like

1241
01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:24,640
Speaker 1: obviously Vanessa's always got stronger and stronger and kind of

1242
01:02:24,680 --> 01:02:26,120
Speaker 1: always in the back of my mind, you kind of

1243
01:02:26,120 --> 01:02:28,200
Speaker 1: felt like she could be the one, but it was

1244
01:02:28,280 --> 01:02:30,800
Speaker 1: never certainly, I disagree with the point where like I

1245
01:02:30,880 --> 01:02:33,280
Speaker 1: made a decision week two that it was going to

1246
01:02:33,280 --> 01:02:36,480
Speaker 1: be Vanessa, and why even bother giving these women the time?

1247
01:02:36,480 --> 01:02:38,560
Speaker 1: And I disagree with that, and to that point, that's

1248
01:02:38,560 --> 01:02:41,200
Speaker 1: why I don't think that there were another women that

1249
01:02:41,280 --> 01:02:43,920
Speaker 1: like wildly surprised me. You know what I'm saying. Part

1250
01:02:43,960 --> 01:02:46,800
Speaker 1: of it was not forming in a strong opinion about

1251
01:02:46,840 --> 01:02:48,280
Speaker 1: some of these women that I didn't get to a

1252
01:02:48,360 --> 01:02:51,920
Speaker 1: chance to really get to know. That makes sense, you know,

1253
01:02:52,080 --> 01:02:53,640
Speaker 1: you know that my problem if I were ever the

1254
01:02:53,640 --> 01:02:56,120
Speaker 1: bachelorette would be that I would be like you, you know,

1255
01:02:56,200 --> 01:02:57,840
Speaker 1: I have to date all these guys, be grossed out

1256
01:02:57,840 --> 01:03:01,360
Speaker 1: by them along the way. I mean, listen, like you again,

1257
01:03:01,680 --> 01:03:04,800
Speaker 1: I had a strong connection that could be Vanessa, but

1258
01:03:04,880 --> 01:03:08,760
Speaker 1: I challenged myself to remain open, right, right, And so

1259
01:03:09,560 --> 01:03:11,760
Speaker 1: I owed it to the other women to do that

1260
01:03:11,960 --> 01:03:14,960
Speaker 1: and and myself right. The more I challenged the relationship,

1261
01:03:15,200 --> 01:03:16,800
Speaker 1: the more I challenged my relationship with the vest of

1262
01:03:16,840 --> 01:03:18,720
Speaker 1: the stronger got in that world. And I was thankful

1263
01:03:18,720 --> 01:03:21,040
Speaker 1: that I wasn't just like dead set on it being Vanessa.

1264
01:03:21,160 --> 01:03:23,919
Speaker 1: From early on, I think that too, right, Yeah, Ben

1265
01:03:23,960 --> 01:03:26,840
Speaker 1: did do that. Yeah, No, I mean I can believe

1266
01:03:26,880 --> 01:03:30,040
Speaker 1: agree with what Nick was saying is you obviously feel

1267
01:03:30,160 --> 01:03:33,360
Speaker 1: something different early on, but then you still are going

1268
01:03:33,360 --> 01:03:35,040
Speaker 1: through a process. And one of the beautiful things about

1269
01:03:35,080 --> 01:03:38,040
Speaker 1: the Bachelor is you do have the opportunity to stay

1270
01:03:38,040 --> 01:03:40,280
Speaker 1: open until the very end. And at the very end. Uh.

1271
01:03:40,560 --> 01:03:43,560
Speaker 1: My hope was that I stayed open so long that

1272
01:03:43,560 --> 01:03:44,960
Speaker 1: when I was done on one knee, I was so

1273
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:48,280
Speaker 1: confident because I took the time to invest in everybody else, um,

1274
01:03:48,320 --> 01:03:50,200
Speaker 1: and that I, at the end knew that the person

1275
01:03:50,240 --> 01:03:53,520
Speaker 1: I was proposing to was the right person for me. UM.

1276
01:03:53,600 --> 01:03:55,760
Speaker 1: So you know, as hard as it is sometimes because

1277
01:03:55,760 --> 01:03:57,480
Speaker 1: you do kind of at some point, I feel like

1278
01:03:57,520 --> 01:03:59,840
Speaker 1: you're almost like cheating on the person that you care

1279
01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:04,800
Speaker 1: so much about. UM, it is important in this process

1280
01:04:04,840 --> 01:04:07,360
Speaker 1: and in this format that you're agreeing to participate in

1281
01:04:07,760 --> 01:04:11,560
Speaker 1: to stay open. I I think I learned a lot

1282
01:04:11,680 --> 01:04:15,439
Speaker 1: about the women on my season post show. I agree

1283
01:04:15,480 --> 01:04:17,680
Speaker 1: with Nick, right, I never thought they were perfect, and

1284
01:04:17,680 --> 01:04:19,840
Speaker 1: actually a lot of the things I learned were positive things.

1285
01:04:19,960 --> 01:04:22,360
Speaker 1: Because I had such a short time period to get

1286
01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:24,120
Speaker 1: to know these women. A lot of our conversations were

1287
01:04:24,200 --> 01:04:27,240
Speaker 1: deep and heavy, uh, and a lot of our moments

1288
01:04:27,240 --> 01:04:30,120
Speaker 1: where uh, you know, with tears or they're coming from

1289
01:04:30,120 --> 01:04:31,680
Speaker 1: a place of jealousy or I was coming from a

1290
01:04:31,680 --> 01:04:33,480
Speaker 1: place of anxiety. So after the show, when everybody was

1291
01:04:33,520 --> 01:04:36,240
Speaker 1: able to relax, I saw more personality come out of

1292
01:04:36,280 --> 01:04:38,840
Speaker 1: a lot of these women, and I I appreciated that. Now.

1293
01:04:38,920 --> 01:04:40,520
Speaker 1: There was also some things that I learned about some

1294
01:04:40,560 --> 01:04:43,320
Speaker 1: of the women that um, I didn't think would happen.

1295
01:04:43,600 --> 01:04:46,960
Speaker 1: There are some women that are very critical of UM themselves.

1296
01:04:47,040 --> 01:04:49,000
Speaker 1: There are other people on the show or myself, and

1297
01:04:49,080 --> 01:04:51,280
Speaker 1: I didn't expect some of the women to be that way.

1298
01:04:51,960 --> 01:04:56,200
Speaker 1: So for me, I felt like there's about six to

1299
01:04:56,360 --> 01:04:59,760
Speaker 1: eight women on my season of The Bachelor that I

1300
01:04:59,800 --> 01:05:02,800
Speaker 1: really he got to know the other um, I was

1301
01:05:02,840 --> 01:05:05,680
Speaker 1: still getting to know when they've got uh asked to

1302
01:05:05,680 --> 01:05:07,919
Speaker 1: go home. And so there was a lot of room

1303
01:05:08,000 --> 01:05:09,720
Speaker 1: for me to learn a lot. And so yeah, you

1304
01:05:09,720 --> 01:05:11,439
Speaker 1: could as I actually you learn a lot along the way,

1305
01:05:11,440 --> 01:05:13,360
Speaker 1: and you learn a lot post show. But I think

1306
01:05:13,440 --> 01:05:16,040
Speaker 1: Nick's right, Um, you kind of go when when you

1307
01:05:16,040 --> 01:05:17,280
Speaker 1: send a lot of them at home, you come out

1308
01:05:17,320 --> 01:05:18,960
Speaker 1: of it going, yeah, you know what, hopefully get to

1309
01:05:18,960 --> 01:05:20,960
Speaker 1: know you afterwards but right now, I just I'm saying

1310
01:05:20,960 --> 01:05:22,800
Speaker 1: goodbye to the things that you know, I don't know

1311
01:05:22,840 --> 01:05:25,160
Speaker 1: a lot about. Yeah, I mean, and I think part

1312
01:05:25,200 --> 01:05:27,720
Speaker 1: of two is, like Ben said, some of the things,

1313
01:05:28,520 --> 01:05:30,760
Speaker 1: um that you learn because maybe there's some of the

1314
01:05:30,800 --> 01:05:34,560
Speaker 1: things they say or dead post show. Um, I've been

1315
01:05:34,560 --> 01:05:37,200
Speaker 1: a part of this world long enough to like there's

1316
01:05:37,200 --> 01:05:40,760
Speaker 1: a level of UM. This world is very strong, as

1317
01:05:40,800 --> 01:05:44,120
Speaker 1: we know, and it kind of plays with our most

1318
01:05:44,280 --> 01:05:49,240
Speaker 1: basic um insecurities. And you know, a social media interviews,

1319
01:05:49,640 --> 01:05:53,800
Speaker 1: it's almost sometimes predictable how people react. Sometimes you try

1320
01:05:53,800 --> 01:05:56,120
Speaker 1: to give people the benefit of the doubt because it

1321
01:05:56,160 --> 01:05:59,800
Speaker 1: does play your insecurities. And oftentimes people will say things

1322
01:05:59,800 --> 01:06:02,760
Speaker 1: of other people or maybe even you, you know, like

1323
01:06:02,800 --> 01:06:06,440
Speaker 1: you just sent someone home and you know, why did

1324
01:06:06,440 --> 01:06:08,520
Speaker 1: they send me home? And they picks on so and so.

1325
01:06:08,640 --> 01:06:11,240
Speaker 1: Like I think some of those reactions that people say

1326
01:06:11,320 --> 01:06:13,160
Speaker 1: or do for the first time kind of being in

1327
01:06:13,200 --> 01:06:16,760
Speaker 1: the public eye, UM, well sometimes it frustrates you, um

1328
01:06:16,800 --> 01:06:17,960
Speaker 1: and you're like, well, I didn't think they are that

1329
01:06:18,000 --> 01:06:21,720
Speaker 1: type of person. You also like kind of recognize it's

1330
01:06:21,760 --> 01:06:24,000
Speaker 1: the nature of the business. Like every season it kind

1331
01:06:24,000 --> 01:06:26,560
Speaker 1: of happens and like next season, you know, a lot

1332
01:06:26,640 --> 01:06:29,160
Speaker 1: of the girls who go home that already sends home

1333
01:06:29,160 --> 01:06:31,880
Speaker 1: early will sometimes be the most vocal about like the

1334
01:06:31,880 --> 01:06:34,280
Speaker 1: behind the scenes and they have their opinions when they

1335
01:06:34,280 --> 01:06:37,960
Speaker 1: may not really actually know, but they're just trying to

1336
01:06:38,000 --> 01:06:39,640
Speaker 1: be a part of experience the didn't feel like they

1337
01:06:39,680 --> 01:06:41,640
Speaker 1: got to be a part of. And so that's it

1338
01:06:41,720 --> 01:06:43,560
Speaker 1: happens almost every season, and you kind of give them

1339
01:06:43,560 --> 01:06:45,720
Speaker 1: the benefit of the doubt. Watch for it will happen

1340
01:06:45,760 --> 01:06:49,640
Speaker 1: this season. I get see it with the women to

1341
01:06:49,640 --> 01:06:52,720
Speaker 1: get off of aris uh Ori show. So with that,

1342
01:06:53,320 --> 01:06:56,680
Speaker 1: we're going to say goodbye to our good buddy, Nick,

1343
01:06:56,800 --> 01:07:00,680
Speaker 1: who has answered these questions eloquently and so austicated Lee

1344
01:07:00,880 --> 01:07:03,840
Speaker 1: and with wisdom. Nick, we appreciate you man. Thank you

1345
01:07:04,160 --> 01:07:08,480
Speaker 1: for coming on this podcast and being open with us. Uh.

1346
01:07:08,760 --> 01:07:12,320
Speaker 1: We can't thank you enough. Thanks for having us so articulate.

1347
01:07:12,480 --> 01:07:16,440
Speaker 1: You're so good, Nick. Actually you're too nice, Nick, So

1348
01:07:16,680 --> 01:07:19,919
Speaker 1: you do. He really speaks in the heart, that's right,

1349
01:07:20,080 --> 01:07:22,360
Speaker 1: he really does. He's a good man. Nick, come back

1350
01:07:22,400 --> 01:07:26,200
Speaker 1: soon please. Actually, speaking of other good things, we need

1351
01:07:26,240 --> 01:07:28,800
Speaker 1: you to roll into our final sponsor of the podcast.

1352
01:07:29,360 --> 01:07:32,400
Speaker 1: We've been talking a lot about insecurities during today's podcast,

1353
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1354
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1355
01:07:40,240 --> 01:07:43,560
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1362
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Speaker 1: And I remember last week we were like gluten free

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Speaker 1: a lot. Is Bioclabity be gluten free? Well, actually some

1364
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01:08:24,479 --> 01:08:26,599
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01:08:26,680 --> 01:08:28,840
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01:08:28,880 --> 01:08:31,000
Speaker 1: attack the bacteria that causes acne, and it's going to

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01:08:33,360 --> 01:08:36,520
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01:08:36,800 --> 01:08:38,800
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01:08:42,800 --> 01:08:46,000
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Speaker 1: check it out on my Instagram. It's really nice. It

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01:08:55,400 --> 01:08:57,599
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1380
01:08:57,800 --> 01:09:00,200
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1381
01:09:00,200 --> 01:09:02,559
Speaker 1: over to bio clarity dot com, plug in our code

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01:09:03,040 --> 01:09:07,000
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1383
01:09:07,120 --> 01:09:10,000
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1384
01:09:10,280 --> 01:09:15,040
Speaker 1: This stuff is just gonna make you look good without makeup. Okay,

1385
01:09:15,080 --> 01:09:17,960
Speaker 1: all right, you guys. Big News Sarah, who we are

1386
01:09:17,960 --> 01:09:20,479
Speaker 1: talking about earlier in the podcast, who wants to talk

1387
01:09:20,520 --> 01:09:23,519
Speaker 1: a little bit about what she believes that Danielle meant

1388
01:09:23,840 --> 01:09:28,400
Speaker 1: in her Instagram from last week, is going to come

1389
01:09:28,439 --> 01:09:32,240
Speaker 1: on and she's going to talk about legally blonde, and

1390
01:09:32,439 --> 01:09:38,320
Speaker 1: that's awesome. Respect any legally blond references. And let's just

1391
01:09:38,360 --> 01:09:40,320
Speaker 1: see what she has I really really am curious to

1392
01:09:40,360 --> 01:09:44,519
Speaker 1: learn from her. Sarah. Yeah, Hi, Hi, Sarah. How you

1393
01:09:44,520 --> 01:09:48,559
Speaker 1: doing about you? I'm good. I want to know your

1394
01:09:48,560 --> 01:09:50,960
Speaker 1: bud thoughts about last week's interview and where you think

1395
01:09:50,960 --> 01:09:55,320
Speaker 1: we've went wrong? Okay. I think what happened was that

1396
01:09:55,760 --> 01:10:00,600
Speaker 1: some people perceive problems that other people have as like

1397
01:10:00,760 --> 01:10:05,480
Speaker 1: more miniscule. When I think, at least with that problem,

1398
01:10:05,520 --> 01:10:08,559
Speaker 1: I see it as like a really deep rooted problem

1399
01:10:08,600 --> 01:10:12,120
Speaker 1: in sexism that some people don't list because it doesn't

1400
01:10:12,160 --> 01:10:16,000
Speaker 1: seem as serious as others like racist, other sexous, other

1401
01:10:16,240 --> 01:10:20,960
Speaker 1: aspects of sexism. So I whatever I hear that, I

1402
01:10:21,000 --> 01:10:24,280
Speaker 1: do think of Legally Blonde, because in Legally Blonde, it's

1403
01:10:24,320 --> 01:10:27,439
Speaker 1: literally it is my favorite movie of all time, and

1404
01:10:27,520 --> 01:10:30,400
Speaker 1: it's because it's so subtle in the way that it's

1405
01:10:30,400 --> 01:10:35,280
Speaker 1: teaching you about sexism. Because in ol like Outwood story

1406
01:10:35,920 --> 01:10:39,080
Speaker 1: she I think in the beginning, she's looked at it

1407
01:10:39,120 --> 01:10:41,559
Speaker 1: is just that regular story girl, because that's all she

1408
01:10:41,680 --> 01:10:44,640
Speaker 1: perceives of herself because that's what she was taught. She

1409
01:10:44,760 --> 01:10:48,000
Speaker 1: was taught to be beautiful, to use her beauty as

1410
01:10:48,040 --> 01:10:50,680
Speaker 1: a way to or not even use her beauty. She

1411
01:10:50,760 --> 01:10:53,960
Speaker 1: just knows that she's pretty and that that's an asset

1412
01:10:53,960 --> 01:10:56,920
Speaker 1: of hers. But as she moves long into the movie

1413
01:10:56,920 --> 01:11:00,240
Speaker 1: and tried to like, you have no idea how hard

1414
01:11:00,280 --> 01:11:01,640
Speaker 1: it is to get a one seventy nine on the

1415
01:11:01,680 --> 01:11:04,960
Speaker 1: outsets like it's almost impossible. That girl is like genius,

1416
01:11:04,960 --> 01:11:08,880
Speaker 1: but no one realized it because she is so beautiful,

1417
01:11:08,960 --> 01:11:12,040
Speaker 1: Like no one looks past that and just still that

1418
01:11:12,160 --> 01:11:15,200
Speaker 1: she got somewhere because of her beauty. It's not because

1419
01:11:15,200 --> 01:11:18,599
Speaker 1: she's smart as hell, Like no one takes the time

1420
01:11:18,640 --> 01:11:21,360
Speaker 1: to like just get to know her until the end

1421
01:11:21,400 --> 01:11:23,320
Speaker 1: of the movie, and even at the end of the movie,

1422
01:11:23,360 --> 01:11:26,280
Speaker 1: she has to do something insane to prove herself, which

1423
01:11:26,760 --> 01:11:29,160
Speaker 1: sucks because like, you don't have you shouldn't have to

1424
01:11:29,200 --> 01:11:32,960
Speaker 1: do something so insane or so above level to be

1425
01:11:33,000 --> 01:11:35,400
Speaker 1: able to get the respect you deserve. I'm learning a

1426
01:11:35,439 --> 01:11:38,000
Speaker 1: lot of them listening to this, and um, the main

1427
01:11:38,040 --> 01:11:40,400
Speaker 1: thing is, as you give that example of legally blonde,

1428
01:11:40,400 --> 01:11:43,680
Speaker 1: I'm sitting here going that she's completely correct. I you know,

1429
01:11:43,800 --> 01:11:47,240
Speaker 1: I think I made the very arrogant and um unintelligent

1430
01:11:47,360 --> 01:11:49,360
Speaker 1: comment when we talked to Danielle and said something along

1431
01:11:49,400 --> 01:11:51,840
Speaker 1: the lines of, how would anybody ever complain about the beauty.

1432
01:11:51,840 --> 01:11:53,519
Speaker 1: I don't see a scenario that somebody who say I'm

1433
01:11:53,560 --> 01:11:56,519
Speaker 1: too pretty. I don't why why would anybody complain about that?

1434
01:11:56,520 --> 01:11:58,640
Speaker 1: It's like complaining about having too much money. But now

1435
01:11:58,640 --> 01:12:00,640
Speaker 1: I'm listening to you, I'm saying, well, there's They're right.

1436
01:12:00,640 --> 01:12:02,559
Speaker 1: There is an example of why somebody who complain about

1437
01:12:02,560 --> 01:12:05,040
Speaker 1: their beauty, and that makes complete sense. It's very legitimate,

1438
01:12:05,240 --> 01:12:08,200
Speaker 1: and um, I just want to thanks for pointing that out.

1439
01:12:08,320 --> 01:12:10,080
Speaker 1: You taught me something today that I had never I

1440
01:12:10,080 --> 01:12:12,439
Speaker 1: would have never thought about unless you. And it comes

1441
01:12:12,439 --> 01:12:15,639
Speaker 1: from a movie that, um, you know, honestly I've never seen.

1442
01:12:15,760 --> 01:12:21,800
Speaker 1: But what why then? I'm not. I know this sounds silly.

1443
01:12:21,840 --> 01:12:24,840
Speaker 1: It's like it could have an Oscar Worthy. It's really

1444
01:12:25,680 --> 01:12:29,040
Speaker 1: well well done, but do you know why it wasn't

1445
01:12:30,560 --> 01:12:33,280
Speaker 1: because it looked at like a chick flick? I do

1446
01:12:33,400 --> 01:12:35,559
Speaker 1: believe it was not made for a golden globe. Though

1447
01:12:35,560 --> 01:12:38,880
Speaker 1: in comedy that's good, yeah, but I had like even

1448
01:12:38,920 --> 01:12:41,680
Speaker 1: I had a friend who is similar to me, like

1449
01:12:41,680 --> 01:12:44,400
Speaker 1: we're both feminists, we're both really in this, and she's

1450
01:12:44,479 --> 01:12:47,200
Speaker 1: never watched that movie because she says, no, that's just

1451
01:12:47,280 --> 01:12:49,640
Speaker 1: a chick flick, like it doesn't have any step to it,

1452
01:12:49,680 --> 01:12:52,519
Speaker 1: and I'm like, you don't have no clue, Like, hey,

1453
01:12:52,640 --> 01:12:56,559
Speaker 1: time out, time out before before we start ripping on

1454
01:12:56,640 --> 01:13:02,720
Speaker 1: things here. I particularly love chick flicks, so can we

1455
01:13:02,800 --> 01:13:06,360
Speaker 1: bring chick flicks back? I mean, guys, I'm irritated. It's

1456
01:13:06,400 --> 01:13:10,320
Speaker 1: like people they've box the boom again. Home Again was

1457
01:13:10,520 --> 01:13:12,559
Speaker 1: sort of a chick flick. Um. I need like a

1458
01:13:12,640 --> 01:13:15,760
Speaker 1: grand romance though, like there are no Katherine Heigl or

1459
01:13:15,840 --> 01:13:19,240
Speaker 1: Jayala movies. I don't understand why they're not making them. Um,

1460
01:13:19,280 --> 01:13:21,680
Speaker 1: it makes me sad. It makes me sad. It's like

1461
01:13:21,760 --> 01:13:24,879
Speaker 1: we don't value romance and love in our culture anymore.

1462
01:13:24,920 --> 01:13:27,240
Speaker 1: I think it's a real demonstration of like the world

1463
01:13:27,240 --> 01:13:31,320
Speaker 1: we're living in. So um movie movie producers of the world,

1464
01:13:31,360 --> 01:13:34,320
Speaker 1: please make some more. I really need, like something that's

1465
01:13:34,360 --> 01:13:36,880
Speaker 1: gonna like make my heart flutter with James Marson or

1466
01:13:36,920 --> 01:13:39,280
Speaker 1: Matthew McConaughey, I know who probably won't do it anymore,

1467
01:13:39,320 --> 01:13:42,320
Speaker 1: but you know what I mean, Yeah, I completely understand that,

1468
01:13:42,320 --> 01:13:44,760
Speaker 1: and I just I but I also like you have

1469
01:13:44,800 --> 01:13:46,840
Speaker 1: to remember, like when this movie came out was about

1470
01:13:46,880 --> 01:13:50,320
Speaker 1: two one from what I remember, and it was like

1471
01:13:51,240 --> 01:13:54,160
Speaker 1: I think it may have I don't agree with you.

1472
01:13:54,200 --> 01:13:56,240
Speaker 1: Actually it should you have gotten like at least an

1473
01:13:56,280 --> 01:14:00,400
Speaker 1: Oscar nomination because the subtlety of like the message and like,

1474
01:14:00,640 --> 01:14:03,360
Speaker 1: you don't know, like it it wasn't even that subtle,

1475
01:14:03,479 --> 01:14:05,760
Speaker 1: but normally want I don't think a lot of people

1476
01:14:05,800 --> 01:14:09,639
Speaker 1: saw it because they they perceived it as something different

1477
01:14:10,240 --> 01:14:12,519
Speaker 1: than it on. It was like my friend when she

1478
01:14:12,800 --> 01:14:15,240
Speaker 1: like I sat her down and I made her watch it.

1479
01:14:15,840 --> 01:14:18,200
Speaker 1: By the end, she just said, wow, I I would

1480
01:14:18,240 --> 01:14:20,680
Speaker 1: have never expected that. And I guess maybe it was

1481
01:14:20,760 --> 01:14:23,720
Speaker 1: there like one of like on their fault, like their

1482
01:14:23,720 --> 01:14:27,599
Speaker 1: fault a little bit, because maybe they they didn't really

1483
01:14:27,800 --> 01:14:30,280
Speaker 1: show how deep it could be or how it deep

1484
01:14:30,320 --> 01:14:33,559
Speaker 1: it was. But I just think a lot of people

1485
01:14:33,640 --> 01:14:36,360
Speaker 1: judge based on like a cover and I and I

1486
01:14:37,120 --> 01:14:39,960
Speaker 1: back to what you were saying with like disagreement line.

1487
01:14:40,400 --> 01:14:42,840
Speaker 1: I don't think I was disagreeing with you on what

1488
01:14:42,880 --> 01:14:45,479
Speaker 1: you meant like about that message. I think you guys,

1489
01:14:45,520 --> 01:14:48,080
Speaker 1: for a little bit longer were just honing in on

1490
01:14:48,280 --> 01:14:51,840
Speaker 1: her beauty thing, which I was like, I just was like,

1491
01:14:52,120 --> 01:14:54,680
Speaker 1: there's so much more depth to this conversation than what

1492
01:14:54,720 --> 01:14:57,120
Speaker 1: they you guys were getting at that moment, which is

1493
01:14:57,120 --> 01:15:00,360
Speaker 1: why I wanted to mention that that idea that even

1494
01:15:00,400 --> 01:15:03,759
Speaker 1: though it seems so superficial to be complaining about your beauty,

1495
01:15:04,040 --> 01:15:08,080
Speaker 1: there's some like really deep rooted idea that really hurts

1496
01:15:08,120 --> 01:15:11,759
Speaker 1: women and like from fields that you just don't know about.

1497
01:15:11,800 --> 01:15:14,160
Speaker 1: Like it's just it goes so much deeper than just

1498
01:15:14,920 --> 01:15:17,599
Speaker 1: she's complaining about her beauty. That's just that's such an asset.

1499
01:15:18,000 --> 01:15:20,680
Speaker 1: It really is not. Sometimes in this world where you

1500
01:15:20,680 --> 01:15:23,280
Speaker 1: want to be perceived as serious, some people can't think

1501
01:15:23,280 --> 01:15:26,519
Speaker 1: you're keeping me serious and care about like what's like

1502
01:15:26,560 --> 01:15:29,040
Speaker 1: putting on meek up or working out or something like that.

1503
01:15:29,080 --> 01:15:31,880
Speaker 1: It's just it's some people just can't make that connection,

1504
01:15:31,920 --> 01:15:36,320
Speaker 1: and it sucks. I'm learning a lot from you, and

1505
01:15:36,360 --> 01:15:39,920
Speaker 1: I appreciate your passion, your passion for justice and your

1506
01:15:39,920 --> 01:15:43,920
Speaker 1: passion to to communicate things correctly and fairly ye in

1507
01:15:43,960 --> 01:15:47,080
Speaker 1: your passion for equality. Thank you for calling into this.

1508
01:15:47,600 --> 01:15:49,400
Speaker 1: I'm learning a lot from you. I'm gonna take this

1509
01:15:49,800 --> 01:15:51,679
Speaker 1: and kind of walk away from the podcast and think

1510
01:15:51,680 --> 01:15:53,280
Speaker 1: through you know where my heart was at and where

1511
01:15:53,320 --> 01:15:55,959
Speaker 1: my mind was at during this whole thing. I appreciate

1512
01:15:56,000 --> 01:15:58,600
Speaker 1: you telling Ashley and I um that you didn't necessarily

1513
01:15:58,680 --> 01:16:01,000
Speaker 1: uh disagree with us kind of trying to bring up

1514
01:16:01,000 --> 01:16:03,040
Speaker 1: the topics. That's really and I mean this really what

1515
01:16:03,080 --> 01:16:04,679
Speaker 1: we want to do. We had a bunch of emails

1516
01:16:04,880 --> 01:16:07,679
Speaker 1: from our listeners asking us to talk about this Instagram post,

1517
01:16:07,720 --> 01:16:09,439
Speaker 1: and we so we wanted to do it. I think

1518
01:16:09,479 --> 01:16:11,800
Speaker 1: we're the issue if there, you know, when we talk

1519
01:16:11,840 --> 01:16:13,720
Speaker 1: about issues and what went wrong, and I think in

1520
01:16:13,800 --> 01:16:16,080
Speaker 1: every podcast and everything we do that we we don't

1521
01:16:16,120 --> 01:16:20,800
Speaker 1: do them perfectly. Was that we didn't communicate um exactly

1522
01:16:21,240 --> 01:16:25,120
Speaker 1: um or we didn't communicate perfectly what we're trying to

1523
01:16:25,160 --> 01:16:27,080
Speaker 1: ask her. And so I appreciate you bring that up

1524
01:16:27,080 --> 01:16:28,840
Speaker 1: and keeping us accountable, and I hope you can keep

1525
01:16:28,880 --> 01:16:31,040
Speaker 1: us accountable from here on out, because we want this

1526
01:16:31,080 --> 01:16:34,280
Speaker 1: to be a podcast. It's fun, that's exciting, that's interesting,

1527
01:16:34,320 --> 01:16:36,320
Speaker 1: that's dramatic. We wanted to be all those things. But

1528
01:16:36,360 --> 01:16:38,439
Speaker 1: we also don't want to hurt anybody in the process.

1529
01:16:38,479 --> 01:16:41,000
Speaker 1: So thank you for coming on today to the Almost podcast.

1530
01:16:41,640 --> 01:16:43,519
Speaker 1: We appreciate you being a listener, and I hope that

1531
01:16:43,520 --> 01:16:46,639
Speaker 1: doesn't stop because of last week. No, I won't stop,

1532
01:16:46,680 --> 01:16:49,200
Speaker 1: and I just I think one thing that you can

1533
01:16:49,240 --> 01:16:52,000
Speaker 1: fix the next time is just maybe instead of talking

1534
01:16:52,000 --> 01:16:54,960
Speaker 1: about Danielle in the beginning and then coming up with

1535
01:16:55,040 --> 01:16:57,879
Speaker 1: calling her maybe like put the call first, or decide

1536
01:16:57,920 --> 01:17:00,479
Speaker 1: to call her beforehand just so she has a voice.

1537
01:17:00,520 --> 01:17:01,960
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people also are annoying that

1538
01:17:02,000 --> 01:17:03,599
Speaker 1: it felt like she didn't really have a voice till

1539
01:17:03,640 --> 01:17:06,000
Speaker 1: the end. No, I totally agree. I think that that

1540
01:17:06,080 --> 01:17:09,720
Speaker 1: was something we probably should have done. All right, thank

1541
01:17:09,800 --> 01:17:13,799
Speaker 1: you so much for your call, Sarah. Really really appreciate

1542
01:17:13,800 --> 01:17:16,320
Speaker 1: you listening, emailing us, coming on and explaining all of

1543
01:17:16,320 --> 01:17:19,840
Speaker 1: this love we procrastination on my heart. But yeah, what

1544
01:17:19,840 --> 01:17:22,960
Speaker 1: do you mean procrastination? What do you gotta do? I

1545
01:17:23,479 --> 01:17:25,760
Speaker 1: actually have classed in like a half hour that I

1546
01:17:25,840 --> 01:17:28,360
Speaker 1: need to get to. I'm sure you kill it in class.

1547
01:17:28,400 --> 01:17:31,200
Speaker 1: You're probably a very good class participant. All right, Sarah,

1548
01:17:31,280 --> 01:17:35,439
Speaker 1: thank you so much. All Right, Ben, are you ready

1549
01:17:35,479 --> 01:17:38,080
Speaker 1: to wrap this show up? I am. It's been a

1550
01:17:38,080 --> 01:17:41,040
Speaker 1: great episode. We want to think uh Nick for coming

1551
01:17:41,040 --> 01:17:42,920
Speaker 1: on the day. He is a great guest and we

1552
01:17:42,920 --> 01:17:44,599
Speaker 1: will have him back. We're excited to have him back.

1553
01:17:44,640 --> 01:17:47,080
Speaker 1: I want to thank Ashley for talking about a topic

1554
01:17:47,120 --> 01:17:48,800
Speaker 1: that I know has affected her deeply. Want to think

1555
01:17:48,840 --> 01:17:51,679
Speaker 1: to think the team, uh from my heart for putting

1556
01:17:51,680 --> 01:17:56,519
Speaker 1: this podcast together. Hey Eastern and it's God's Eastern mark,

1557
01:17:56,600 --> 01:17:59,720
Speaker 1: you know he They basically they're here for Ben and

1558
01:17:59,840 --> 01:18:04,679
Speaker 1: I been in my podcast, Becca's podcast, and Dean's podcast.

1559
01:18:05,000 --> 01:18:07,960
Speaker 1: They listened to so much bachelor chatter. They just must

1560
01:18:08,040 --> 01:18:11,320
Speaker 1: want to kill us, all right, but we appreciate them

1561
01:18:11,360 --> 01:18:14,719
Speaker 1: and Amy, we love you so much. All right, guys,

1562
01:18:15,000 --> 01:18:17,400
Speaker 1: one more episode down. We'll talk to you next week.

1563
01:18:17,439 --> 01:18:22,240
Speaker 1: I've been been nationally. See you. Follow the Benn and

1564
01:18:22,320 --> 01:18:25,439
Speaker 1: Ashley I Almost Famous podcasts on I Heart Radio or

1565
01:18:25,479 --> 01:18:27,720
Speaker 1: subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts