WEBVTT - Do Nice Guys Really Finish Last?

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<v Speaker 1>What up, y'all? Happy Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday,

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<v Speaker 1>whatever day that you are listening to this episode. Thank you,

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you for listening in. If you are a new listener, welcome.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm very happy to have you all here and I

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<v Speaker 1>hope that you enjoyed Cheeky's in Chill. So today I

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<v Speaker 1>want to talk about something you've probably heard of. Do

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<v Speaker 1>nice guys finish last? Do they really finish last? Well,

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<v Speaker 1>let's get into this episode of Cheeky's and Chill, your

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<v Speaker 1>favorite podcast. Alrighty guys, I'm going to make this short

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<v Speaker 1>and to the point, very precise, very very demure, very mindful.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sure you guys have all seen that on Instagram.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like my favorite word right now. But anyways, the

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<v Speaker 1>other day, and I'm not going to say who, but

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<v Speaker 1>the other day I was having a conversation and this

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<v Speaker 1>particular person, who I am very fond of, who I

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<v Speaker 1>have always loved with the way that they carry themselves,

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<v Speaker 1>in the way that they are very ethical in their work, said,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, I'm just tired. I'm fucking tired of being

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<v Speaker 1>the nice guy and people taking advantage and I'm just

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<v Speaker 1>fucking tired of it. I'm done. I'm not gonna be

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<v Speaker 1>nice anymore, like I'm going to be an asshole. It

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<v Speaker 1>almost seemed forced. I'm like, this isn't who you are,

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<v Speaker 1>Like you are genuinely a nice person, and sometimes it

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<v Speaker 1>takes us a little longer to get to the finish line.

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<v Speaker 1>It really made me sad because I saw a difference

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<v Speaker 1>and it was happening right before my eyes, and I

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<v Speaker 1>was just like, what is happening, Like there's a different

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<v Speaker 1>energy about this person, and it was confirmation. And I

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<v Speaker 1>remember telling this person I'm like, don't don't ever get

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<v Speaker 1>tired of being nice. Trust me. I have the moments

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<v Speaker 1>actually where I'm like, I'm just so sick of it.

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<v Speaker 1>People take my kindness for weakness, like and they do

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of people do. But I don't want to

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<v Speaker 1>change my essence because I know, at the end of

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<v Speaker 1>the day, guys, it will take you further than you know. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>it might take you a little longer than people that

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<v Speaker 1>push people out of the way. Imagine imagine us running

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<v Speaker 1>right on a track, okay, and we're all running to

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<v Speaker 1>the finish line. Okay. Just imagine come with me, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>and we're running and there's people that are pushing you

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<v Speaker 1>out of the way and tripping you and because they

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<v Speaker 1>want to make it to the finish line before you.

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<v Speaker 1>But then you turn around and someone you like may

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<v Speaker 1>not even know, but they fell and they're struggling to

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<v Speaker 1>get back up. Are you going to say f that

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<v Speaker 1>person and keep going because you want to get to

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<v Speaker 1>the finish line, or are you going to go back

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<v Speaker 1>and say, you know what, let me help that person.

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<v Speaker 1>Let me help them just get back up and help

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<v Speaker 1>them get to the finish line. Even if I don't

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<v Speaker 1>make it, but at least I wasn't that other person

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<v Speaker 1>tripping people and pushing people and all these nasty things

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<v Speaker 1>that happen in life just to get to the finish line.

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<v Speaker 1>I'd much rather be a person to help others, to

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<v Speaker 1>be there for them. I'm just that person that can

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<v Speaker 1>never leave a soldier behind. That's just my mentality of like,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm here for the people, I'm not here for myself.

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<v Speaker 1>And there's a lot of people that are like that.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not one of them, and I suggest that you

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<v Speaker 1>aren't either, because it's kind of like that whole mentality

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<v Speaker 1>of every man for themselves. I truly and in my heart,

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<v Speaker 1>don't believe that. I feel like if the more united

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<v Speaker 1>we are, the stronger we stand. If we give up

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<v Speaker 1>on the world because the world is just a lost

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<v Speaker 1>cause and and blah blah blah, like it's never gonna

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<v Speaker 1>get better. If you want to see a change in

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<v Speaker 1>the world, that has to start with you, Yes, But also,

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<v Speaker 1>how can I help, even if it's a little bit.

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<v Speaker 1>This is why I talk about recycling and all this stuff,

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<v Speaker 1>because even if I do it in my household, it's helping.

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<v Speaker 1>Imagine if I give up and I'm just you know,

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<v Speaker 1>adding to the problem, it's better for us to say

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna do what I can and help others for

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<v Speaker 1>the better good of everyone. So that's kind of what

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<v Speaker 1>I mean. And it made me really sad when this

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<v Speaker 1>person told me that, because I really really love this

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<v Speaker 1>person and I really enjoyed being around them more when

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<v Speaker 1>they were nice, when they were like not being a

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<v Speaker 1>holes and very like confrontational and just trying to hey,

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<v Speaker 1>this is my voice. I'm gonna show you that I'm

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<v Speaker 1>here and that I'm not gonna let you fuck with me.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm just like, oh, it's kind of like not

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<v Speaker 1>cool energy to be around, and the more and more

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<v Speaker 1>that I saw that, the less and less that I

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<v Speaker 1>wanted to be around that person, And it just made

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<v Speaker 1>me want to talk about this and just more than anything,

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<v Speaker 1>to encourage you, guys, to continue to be nice. Don't

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<v Speaker 1>get tired of being nice and doing good in the world.

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<v Speaker 1>It will pay off. I promise you it will pay

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<v Speaker 1>I guarantee it, it will pay off. Don't give up.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not that the nice guy finishes last. It just

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<v Speaker 1>takes a little longer because there's a lot of assholes

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<v Speaker 1>in the world that just think about themselves and want

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<v Speaker 1>want for themselves. Me me, me, me me, and they

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<v Speaker 1>get there a lot faster. But then what you're alone.

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<v Speaker 1>No one wants to be around you. You're a pest.

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<v Speaker 1>I can't with opportunists, with leeches. I just that's a

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<v Speaker 1>whole other episode, guys. But like, don't get tired of

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<v Speaker 1>being a nice person, of doing good. It feels better.

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<v Speaker 1>Life is watching the universes listening. One way or the other.

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<v Speaker 1>You will get compensated. I promise you. It's always better

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<v Speaker 1>to kill people with kindness, genuine kindness, than to kill

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<v Speaker 1>them with f fed up actions and doing things that

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<v Speaker 1>yes will get you bigger and better opportunities, but you're

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<v Speaker 1>screwing people over like it's just I don't know. I

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<v Speaker 1>hope I'm making sense, but I just wanted to encourage you, guys,

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<v Speaker 1>as I had this in my heart, to continue to

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<v Speaker 1>do good in the world, to do your part, to

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<v Speaker 1>do what you can to Yes, think of yourself, but

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<v Speaker 1>always think of others as well and keep them in mind.

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<v Speaker 1>And always remember, united, we stand, Divided we fall. And

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<v Speaker 1>that's just the freaking truth, no matter how you look

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<v Speaker 1>at it, that is what it is, guys. And even

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<v Speaker 1>in relationships, I'm telling you, I have been very tough

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<v Speaker 1>in loving relationships with partners. And finally when I put

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<v Speaker 1>the gloves down, when I let my guards down, things

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<v Speaker 1>got so much better. It's so exhausting to be on

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<v Speaker 1>defense mode because in every other area of my life

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<v Speaker 1>I have no problem with implementing all of this that

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<v Speaker 1>I'm telling you. It had just been in relationships because

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<v Speaker 1>of what I grew up seeing, because of situations that

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<v Speaker 1>I put myself in, or whatever the case may be.

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<v Speaker 1>So I always felt like I had to have, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>my gloves up in the air, like ready to fight,

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<v Speaker 1>like you know, and I was like no, I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 1>leave you before you leave me, or yeah, you want

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<v Speaker 1>to be mean, I'm gonna be meaner. No, it's so

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<v Speaker 1>fucking tiring. Like I'm just like no, I'm gonna do

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<v Speaker 1>my best. I'm gonna try until trying is no longer

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<v Speaker 1>an option. I'm gonna do my part. I'm gonna love

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<v Speaker 1>you the way I want to love you, the way

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<v Speaker 1>I hope that you love me, and if you don't

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<v Speaker 1>appreciate it and you take me for granted, then I'll

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<v Speaker 1>walk away. It took me a long time to understand that,

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<v Speaker 1>and it feels so damn good to say, you know what,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna love the shit out of you. I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 1>treat you good even if you're not doing it, because

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna do my part, and if you lose me,

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<v Speaker 1>then you're gonna miss me. That's on you. And once

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<v Speaker 1>I did that, girl, I'm happy, I'm like, whoop. It

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<v Speaker 1>feels good to be nice, It feels good to do good.

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<v Speaker 1>It feels just feels fucking good. It just feels great.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know how I'll explain it, like I, yes,

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<v Speaker 1>I want to smile and even if you're mean, like

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<v Speaker 1>even when dude, road rage, it's a whole other thing.

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<v Speaker 1>I swear to you. Someone cuts me off, I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not even gonna fight with you. I'm not gonna hunk.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not gonna flip you off. I swear. I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>let them talk shit, whatever the case may be. I

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<v Speaker 1>just blow them a kiss. I'm like, you know what, No,

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<v Speaker 1>takes too much energy to be mean, too much fucking

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<v Speaker 1>energy to be mean. Why No? Like No, life is

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<v Speaker 1>hard and I want to fucking I'm here for a

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<v Speaker 1>good time, you know. And I'm gonna be nice and

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<v Speaker 1>that's that's it. And I don't care even if people

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<v Speaker 1>are mean to me. I'm gonna defend myself. I'm not

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<v Speaker 1>gonna be dumb, but I'm not gonna like. You know

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<v Speaker 1>how they say an eye for an eye. Who said this?

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<v Speaker 1>I think Gandhi said this. If we do an eye

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<v Speaker 1>for an eye, the whole world is gonna be blind.

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<v Speaker 1>I think that's the quote. Don't quote me, but look

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<v Speaker 1>it up. I'm not that type of person. Don't be

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<v Speaker 1>that type of person of like, Okay, you do this

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<v Speaker 1>to me, I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do it worse. No,

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<v Speaker 1>Why let God take care of them, You do your part,

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<v Speaker 1>You be good, love the world, Radiate love, radiate light,

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<v Speaker 1>and I promise you it will pay off. Guaranteed it

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<v Speaker 1>will pay off. Do not have that mentality of the

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<v Speaker 1>nice guy ends last. It's not true. We end stronger,

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<v Speaker 1>we in whole, we end victorious, and I've seen it

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<v Speaker 1>in my life. Trust me. I don't know if you

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<v Speaker 1>guys believe in karma. I definitely believe in good karma,

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<v Speaker 1>bad karma. I believe in the ying and the yang.

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<v Speaker 1>I believe in what you give comes back. I believe

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<v Speaker 1>in paying forward. I do. I believe in treating people

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<v Speaker 1>the way I want to be treated. I really do.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like the more positive energy you put out

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<v Speaker 1>in the world, the more good you put out in

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<v Speaker 1>the world, the more you will receive. I'm not saying

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<v Speaker 1>that because you keep pouring out good, you're not going

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<v Speaker 1>to get bad situations. You're not going to get mean

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<v Speaker 1>people in your way. That's just life. Those are called obstacles.

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<v Speaker 1>Those are things that we can't prevent. Those things are

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<v Speaker 1>going to happen. But if you keep giving good and

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<v Speaker 1>you keep paying it forward, and you keep doing good,

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<v Speaker 1>and you don't give up and you have faith in

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<v Speaker 1>the universe, and whatever it is you have faith in

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<v Speaker 1>in God, you will receive good. It's just a circle.

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<v Speaker 1>It's how it works. It's energetic. We are energy. The

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<v Speaker 1>entire world is made up of energy. So even if

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<v Speaker 1>you feel like, oh my god, I've been doing like

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<v Speaker 1>I've been trying and life is just kicking in the ass, like,

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<v Speaker 1>don't lose hope, do not lose faith, you will. You

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<v Speaker 1>will come out on top. Keep your eye on the

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<v Speaker 1>light at the end of the tunnel. And I know

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<v Speaker 1>I say that a lot, but I really really see

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<v Speaker 1>my life like that. Sometimes sometimes I'm in a dark

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<v Speaker 1>ass place, you guys, and I've thought, honestly, I thought, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>it's fine. I really thought twenty twenty four it was

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<v Speaker 1>gonna be different for me. I thought, oh shit, things

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<v Speaker 1>are just settling, the dust is settling. Like been through

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<v Speaker 1>so much. I look back and I'm like, damn, it's

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<v Speaker 1>been a lot, but I feel like everything's gonna be

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<v Speaker 1>all right. And just when I think that, life teaches

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<v Speaker 1>me something else and I'm like damn, And I have

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<v Speaker 1>those dark moments where I'm just like, oh my God,

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<v Speaker 1>everything is caving in, like, oh my gosh, like I

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<v Speaker 1>just I don't know, and I'm like, Okay, the light

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<v Speaker 1>looks smaller and further and further away, But I don't

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<v Speaker 1>lose my faith. I'm like, it's okay. I've been through

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<v Speaker 1>these moments. I've seen stuff like this, I have felt

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<v Speaker 1>this before. I know that I will get out of this.

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<v Speaker 1>This too shall pass, it will get better. I have

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<v Speaker 1>put in more good in the world. God knows that

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<v Speaker 1>I live my best with trying to help, with being

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<v Speaker 1>a good person. I'm not trying to f anyone over.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't. I don't. I feel so proud guys to

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<v Speaker 1>say that there is no one that has said I

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<v Speaker 1>have fucked them over. And if I did, and I've

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<v Speaker 1>made mistakes, I will apologize and I admit to it,

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<v Speaker 1>because you know, no one's perfect. But for someone to

0:11:55.160 --> 0:11:59.600
<v Speaker 1>say that I stole from them, that I did anything

0:11:59.600 --> 0:12:02.000
<v Speaker 1>negative to try to stop their career or stop them

0:12:02.040 --> 0:12:05.360
<v Speaker 1>from becoming like never, Because I'm like, there is a

0:12:05.360 --> 0:12:08.760
<v Speaker 1>God and I want good karma. So I do believe

0:12:08.760 --> 0:12:15.560
<v Speaker 1>in karma, guys. And I know we keep saying about

0:12:16.760 --> 0:12:19.520
<v Speaker 1>you know, men and guys do they finish last? I

0:12:19.559 --> 0:12:21.520
<v Speaker 1>mean I mean that as men and women but let

0:12:21.559 --> 0:12:24.920
<v Speaker 1>me talk about women now that we're here as a woman,

0:12:25.520 --> 0:12:31.440
<v Speaker 1>as a woman in my industry that's mainly dominated by men,

0:12:31.520 --> 0:12:34.200
<v Speaker 1>and even in corporate America, you guys, it's you know,

0:12:34.240 --> 0:12:36.880
<v Speaker 1>it's ran by the man. And you know, I'm not

0:12:36.920 --> 0:12:41.760
<v Speaker 1>a feminist just a little. But anyways, I'm a woman,

0:12:41.800 --> 0:12:44.600
<v Speaker 1>and I'm a strong woman. I have a strong character.

0:12:44.640 --> 0:12:46.800
<v Speaker 1>I consider myself to be a person that is very

0:12:46.800 --> 0:12:50.520
<v Speaker 1>strong and very strong willed and vocal when need be

0:12:51.040 --> 0:12:53.760
<v Speaker 1>in a very respectful way. I have run into other

0:12:53.800 --> 0:12:58.200
<v Speaker 1>women that, because they are in a man's world quote unquote,

0:12:58.480 --> 0:13:01.600
<v Speaker 1>they feel the need to put forward this very like

0:13:01.760 --> 0:13:05.520
<v Speaker 1>hard shell because they want to be taken seriously. And

0:13:05.720 --> 0:13:08.240
<v Speaker 1>I just feel that there's nothing more beautiful than a

0:13:08.240 --> 0:13:11.640
<v Speaker 1>woman that can still be tender and still be very

0:13:12.480 --> 0:13:17.040
<v Speaker 1>strong in her position without being disrespectful. There's a very

0:13:17.080 --> 0:13:20.720
<v Speaker 1>fine line, because yes, we want to be taken seriously,

0:13:21.559 --> 0:13:24.280
<v Speaker 1>especially because for me, in the beginning of my career,

0:13:24.400 --> 0:13:28.040
<v Speaker 1>I felt like I needed to be this tough, strong

0:13:29.160 --> 0:13:32.120
<v Speaker 1>type of woman on stage and in my interviews, and

0:13:32.160 --> 0:13:34.360
<v Speaker 1>I'm just like, dude, it got exhausting. I'm like, that's

0:13:34.400 --> 0:13:36.400
<v Speaker 1>not really who I am. If that's really who you are,

0:13:36.440 --> 0:13:38.080
<v Speaker 1>then so be it. But I'm saying, like, if it's

0:13:38.120 --> 0:13:39.800
<v Speaker 1>not really who you are, don't put up a front.

0:13:40.360 --> 0:13:42.360
<v Speaker 1>Because I did. I felt like I needed that because

0:13:42.360 --> 0:13:44.240
<v Speaker 1>I wanted people to be like, no, I'm tough and like,

0:13:44.600 --> 0:13:46.880
<v Speaker 1>you know, my mom was tough, and I wanted to

0:13:46.920 --> 0:13:50.880
<v Speaker 1>be I guess respected. But I don't think I was

0:13:50.880 --> 0:13:53.760
<v Speaker 1>doing it in the right way. You know. I wasn't disrespectful,

0:13:53.800 --> 0:13:57.640
<v Speaker 1>but it wasn't really who I genuinely am. It's not

0:13:57.800 --> 0:14:00.800
<v Speaker 1>my real, authentic self. So I had to find the

0:14:00.840 --> 0:14:05.800
<v Speaker 1>balance of just being a nice, respectful, cordial woman but

0:14:06.000 --> 0:14:10.920
<v Speaker 1>still holding my ground and holding my own and being

0:14:11.000 --> 0:14:16.720
<v Speaker 1>very direct but always respectful, you know, and mindful and demure.

0:14:17.640 --> 0:14:20.480
<v Speaker 1>So I think that there's a fine line, and I

0:14:20.520 --> 0:14:24.440
<v Speaker 1>think that us as women, my only advice is to

0:14:24.680 --> 0:14:29.080
<v Speaker 1>always have a tender heart because it is it is tougher.

0:14:29.120 --> 0:14:31.080
<v Speaker 1>I feel like the world can be tougher on women.

0:14:31.320 --> 0:14:34.760
<v Speaker 1>Not can I really I believe it. But it's important

0:14:34.800 --> 0:14:38.200
<v Speaker 1>to always keep our essence and keep our heart soft

0:14:38.920 --> 0:14:42.960
<v Speaker 1>and our shell hard, like just you know, hold our

0:14:43.000 --> 0:14:47.720
<v Speaker 1>own and find that balance between being too nice and

0:14:47.760 --> 0:14:50.560
<v Speaker 1>being naive and gullible. Because I've been there as well,

0:14:51.120 --> 0:14:55.200
<v Speaker 1>and finding our voice, but also always being respectful and

0:14:55.240 --> 0:15:00.640
<v Speaker 1>cordial and not having to overcompensate because of the position

0:15:00.680 --> 0:15:04.360
<v Speaker 1>that we're in to prove something to a man. So

0:15:04.400 --> 0:15:07.000
<v Speaker 1>I hope that made sense. But I do think that

0:15:07.080 --> 0:15:12.680
<v Speaker 1>it is very important to always be a lady, be

0:15:12.720 --> 0:15:16.240
<v Speaker 1>a strong woman with our head held high in a

0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:21.720
<v Speaker 1>world that men feel that they run. But in reality, guys,

0:15:21.760 --> 0:15:24.560
<v Speaker 1>if it wasn't for women, there would be no life.

0:15:24.600 --> 0:15:26.440
<v Speaker 1>There is life, and there are men on this earth

0:15:26.480 --> 0:15:29.720
<v Speaker 1>because of women, whether they want to admit it or not.

0:15:29.800 --> 0:15:32.480
<v Speaker 1>And in that there's a lot of strength. But again,

0:15:33.320 --> 0:15:37.000
<v Speaker 1>don't feel like you're better than anyone else, you know

0:15:37.040 --> 0:15:39.440
<v Speaker 1>what I mean. AnyWho, I just wanted to clear that

0:15:39.520 --> 0:15:41.160
<v Speaker 1>up because I know we keep thinking about, you know,

0:15:41.240 --> 0:15:44.440
<v Speaker 1>talking about guys. It's a person does a nice person

0:15:45.160 --> 0:15:48.160
<v Speaker 1>and last is basically what I'm talking about. I hope

0:15:48.160 --> 0:15:51.480
<v Speaker 1>you enjoyed this episode, and I hope that you understood

0:15:51.520 --> 0:15:54.520
<v Speaker 1>me with all the things that I talked about, and

0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:56.360
<v Speaker 1>it was short and quick and to the point the

0:15:56.400 --> 0:15:58.840
<v Speaker 1>way we like it. Boom boom boom. I hope something

0:15:58.880 --> 0:16:02.040
<v Speaker 1>resonated with you. And all I want to do in

0:16:02.080 --> 0:16:06.240
<v Speaker 1>this world is help and better people's lives, for all

0:16:06.280 --> 0:16:08.600
<v Speaker 1>of us to become the better versions of ourselves and

0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:10.880
<v Speaker 1>who we are meant to be. So I hope I'm

0:16:10.920 --> 0:16:14.400
<v Speaker 1>doing that. So thank you so much for listening. I

0:16:14.440 --> 0:16:17.920
<v Speaker 1>really really appreciate you. I can't even tell you how

0:16:18.480 --> 0:16:21.720
<v Speaker 1>excited and how great it feels when I see you

0:16:21.720 --> 0:16:23.680
<v Speaker 1>guys on the streets get a restaurant, or when I

0:16:23.720 --> 0:16:25.120
<v Speaker 1>see you out in the world in the real world,

0:16:25.400 --> 0:16:26.760
<v Speaker 1>or I see you guys at my meeting greets and

0:16:26.760 --> 0:16:28.600
<v Speaker 1>you tell me I listen to your podcast. Thank you

0:16:28.680 --> 0:16:31.240
<v Speaker 1>so much Cheeky's Like, I love it, Like makes me

0:16:31.320 --> 0:16:33.320
<v Speaker 1>feel so good. I feel like, ah, I'm doing good

0:16:33.320 --> 0:16:35.800
<v Speaker 1>in the world, and that's all I want to do.

0:16:35.880 --> 0:16:38.640
<v Speaker 1>So thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

0:16:38.680 --> 0:16:40.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm never going to get tired of saying thank you.

0:16:40.200 --> 0:16:42.520
<v Speaker 1>I love you, guys, and I will see you here

0:16:42.800 --> 0:16:44.880
<v Speaker 1>on the next episode of Cheekys and Chill. Oh and

0:16:44.880 --> 0:16:48.000
<v Speaker 1>don't forget dear Cheeky's on Wednesdays, Love you peace out.

0:16:51.520 --> 0:16:55.960
<v Speaker 1>Do you need advice on love, relationships, health emails? I'm

0:16:56.000 --> 0:16:58.160
<v Speaker 1>so excited to share with you that my Cheekies and

0:16:58.240 --> 0:17:01.480
<v Speaker 1>Chill podcast will have an extra so drop each week,

0:17:01.800 --> 0:17:04.720
<v Speaker 1>I'll be answering all your questions. Just leave me a

0:17:04.760 --> 0:17:10.439
<v Speaker 1>voice message. All you have to do is go to

0:17:10.480 --> 0:17:13.760
<v Speaker 1>speak pipe dot com, slash Cheeky's and Chill podcasts and

0:17:13.800 --> 0:17:16.080
<v Speaker 1>record your questions. I can't wait to hear from you.

0:17:20.440 --> 0:17:24.560
<v Speaker 1>This is a production of iHeartRadio and the Micudura podcast Network.

0:17:25.000 --> 0:17:27.920
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0:17:31.200 --> 0:17:35.600
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