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Speaker 1: Today fed up by buying a Boom boom fun time

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Speaker 1: doll while I was sleep deprived.

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Speaker 2: Okayop, this is Okayop. I'm Samuel Donner and I'm John Fry,

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Speaker 2: and we tell the funniest stories on the internet.

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Speaker 1: We do, and we actually have a bit of a

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Speaker 1: funny real life story.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah. Right before we started recording, one of my friends, Keon,

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Speaker 2: came in dazed and confused. He looked like he had

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Speaker 2: one brain cell functioning and and his body drained. And

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Speaker 2: that's because it was a very special day for single

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Speaker 2: people everywhere, very very special day. It was Valentine's Day

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Speaker 2: or for single people fill any whole possible day, whole. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and apparently like the Valentine's Day bars are popping.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so that was gonna be. My question is like

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Speaker 1: they were basically like the single crew in the friend group,

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Speaker 1: just like, oh, let's go and just like hit the bars, like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: let's hit the bars. Absolutely obliterated mash.

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Speaker 2: Christian. So Christian is my roommate. He was dead this

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Speaker 2: morning and he literally had to carry him into our

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Speaker 2: other roommate's room so he could sleep so we could record,

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Speaker 2: And he was like, Sam, I'm dead. I'm like, why

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Speaker 2: Christians like I drink an entire bottle of screwball, which

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Speaker 2: is like, oh my god, peanut butter flavored whiskey. And

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Speaker 2: he's like, I don't like peanut butter anymore. But apparently

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Speaker 2: he had a fine lady over last night. So not

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Speaker 2: all was lost. Maybe some brain cells, maybe some dignity,

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Speaker 2: but at least.

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Speaker 1: A good time was getting.

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Speaker 2: Good time was getting exactly.

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Speaker 1: Speaking of good times and maybe unsavory sensual situations, I

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Speaker 1: think we have a story that kind of ties to

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Speaker 1: some of those themes of our real life adventures.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm excited to hear these ties tie me up, John.

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Speaker 1: Today, I fed up by buying a boom boom fun

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Speaker 1: time doll while I was sleep deprived.

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Speaker 2: When you say boom boom fun time doll, is it

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Speaker 2: what I'm thinking?

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Speaker 1: It is exactly what you're thinking. Oh yeah, a replica

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Speaker 1: train doll operator.

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Speaker 2: Okay, that's not that's not what it is.

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Speaker 1: That is not what it is. So this first sentence

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Speaker 1: is is just so beautiful? Way can I add one more?

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Speaker 1: Ad go ahead? Noktok. Actually one of our one of

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Speaker 1: our friends in the creator space saw him in the water.

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Speaker 1: All right, So this is probably my favorite first sentence

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Speaker 1: of a story ever. Where to start? I am a

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Speaker 1: high school student. This is a high school student.

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Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, cool students buying fun time boom boom dolls.

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Speaker 2: I was I barely knew what boom boom was in

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Speaker 2: high school.

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Speaker 1: I mean I I kind I kind of get it,

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Speaker 1: being a like remembering back to when as a high

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Speaker 1: school student, I don't get it, but I like get

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Speaker 1: why someone would do it.

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Speaker 2: But also now you're you're you're riled and ready to

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Speaker 2: be the guy.

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Speaker 1: Anything anything is susceptible to you know, for boom boom

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Speaker 1: fun time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, But me now as a twenty five year old,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, you're a child.

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Speaker 2: You're a baby child, bro, protect your virgin as AnyWho.

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Speaker 1: So, I've always been someone who didn't study properly. Rather

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Speaker 1: than night before an exam, I would stay up all

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Speaker 1: night and cram for it. After cram ever, catching that

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Speaker 1: because ramed it. After a few years of this, I'm

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Speaker 1: used to operating on very little sleep the day after.

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Speaker 1: It's effectively the equivalent of being drunk for me, BRO,

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Speaker 1: what kind of fifteen year old business?

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Speaker 2: Like, yeah, are you getting drunk at fifteen, God I did.

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Speaker 2: I don't think I got drunk until college.

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Speaker 1: The only drop of alcohol I had as a high

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Speaker 1: schooler was when my uncle, my fun uncle, was like, John,

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Speaker 1: take a damn drink of this line so you can

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Speaker 1: be prepared.

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Speaker 2: Se we were. I think I'm realizing we were just

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Speaker 2: a bunch of goodie two shoes.

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Speaker 1: I think we absolutely, I was one hundred percent of

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Speaker 1: goodie two shoes.

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Speaker 2: Not buying boom boom dolls.

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Speaker 1: Nothing, none of no, none of that was going on

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Speaker 1: for your boys over here, the clean boys, clean boy,

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Speaker 1: following the Nelk boys, the clean, the antithesis of them. Well,

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Speaker 1: about a month ago I had an issue I hadn't

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Speaker 1: faced before, an issue other than buying a fun time

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Speaker 1: boom boom dolls a high school.

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Speaker 2: This man has a lot of issues. I mean this boy,

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Speaker 2: this child has a lot of issues.

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Speaker 1: The issue in question. Two exams in two two days.

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Speaker 1: Oh gee, he has to do some major cramming. I

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Speaker 1: decided to freaking go for it and stay up seventy

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Speaker 1: two hours as I studied my class.

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Speaker 2: Okay, wait, pause, pause, that is not an effective studying technique.

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Speaker 2: I just like to say, staying up seventy two hours.

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Speaker 2: You are going to be zoked for those tests.

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Speaker 1: When in real life, I mean there are situations where

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Speaker 1: you would do that for work, but like, are there

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Speaker 1: seventy two hours? I've stayed up almost seventy two hours

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Speaker 1: before for a work situation, but it was for a conference.

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Speaker 2: Ah, yes, the good old days.

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Speaker 1: But I at least got like, I at least got

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Speaker 1: like two or three hour one to three hours of

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Speaker 1: sleep each night.

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Speaker 2: So that is not staying up seventy two hours. John,

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Speaker 2: It was a big difference sleeping wedding three hours at

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Speaker 2: night and staying up straight for seventy two hours.

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Speaker 1: You're right, you're right, but very little sleep.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I will commend you that. You know, it's not

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Speaker 2: it's nine seventy two hours, but it's also intense. Before

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Speaker 2: John was the superstar TikTok man he is today, he was.

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Speaker 1: Getting two hours to sleep at night. I was grinded, baby.

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Speaker 1: So it's some background here. I love buying random stuff

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Speaker 1: on all the Express At about hour sixty five, while

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Speaker 1: trying to take a break to go browsing, unfortunately, the

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Speaker 1: rabbit hole I fell down got me fixated on a

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Speaker 1: eight hundred dollars life size fun time doll. With the

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Speaker 1: logical center of my brain being turned off, I couldn't

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Speaker 1: see any issues with it. Hey, why not? In fact,

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Speaker 1: she like living with your parents or something. He is

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Speaker 1: living with his parents, which is going to present some issues.

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Speaker 1: I had just gotten my first paycheck ever at my

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Speaker 1: new job and had fourteen hundred dollars in the bank account.

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Speaker 2: He's gonna spend half his check on a boom boom

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Speaker 2: fun time doll.

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Speaker 1: This is the mental workings of a high school frisky boy,

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Speaker 1: ladies and gentleman. So I pressed order. Well, waking up

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Speaker 1: a day later with some lot of returning, my situation

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Speaker 1: finally dawned on me.

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Speaker 2: I live at.

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Speaker 1: Home on him, keep catching these things. Not a clean

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Speaker 1: boy anymore, No dirty dirty I live at home with

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Speaker 1: my very Christian parents.

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Speaker 2: Oh no.

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Speaker 1: And I have just ordered a five foot six inches

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Speaker 1: one hundred and forty five pounds fun time doll.

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Speaker 2: That's larger than my girlfriend. That is that is huge. Bye.

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Speaker 2: So just just for reference, my girlfriend is five foot flat.

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Speaker 2: She is a borderline dwarf, and she definitely doesn't weigh

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Speaker 2: one hundred and forty five pounds. That's a big ass doll. Bro.

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Speaker 1: Imagine having to hide larger than your girlfriend's sized object

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Speaker 1: in your house.

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Speaker 2: I don't know where you maybe under the bed or something.

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: We will see. Geez, okay, let's see. I immediately rushed

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Speaker 1: a can ansel it, but no dice. It had already shipped.

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Speaker 1: It was coming to my house.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was coming.

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Speaker 1: I will spare you the absolute master plan that I

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Speaker 1: can coct it. Master I'll spare you the details of

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Speaker 1: the master plan I concocted to bring the thing into

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Speaker 1: my house unnoticed. The doll was as tall as me.

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Speaker 1: Yet I managed to get it into my room without

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Speaker 1: arousing any suspicions.

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Speaker 2: Cliet boy, I heard cocking, and I didn't say anything,

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Speaker 2: would being a good boy.

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Speaker 1: The resting place I found for the assembled doll was

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Speaker 1: under my bed, which thankfully just barely fit. So here

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Speaker 1: I am with a five foot six inch doll under

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Speaker 1: my bed. I am constantly terrified of my parents finding

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Speaker 1: it and disowning me, and have no idea how to

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Speaker 1: get it out of my house undetected. The thing weighs

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Speaker 1: one hundred and forty five pounds, so using it is impossible.

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Speaker 1: I trade making the best of my investment. Once If

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Speaker 1: you catch my drift, but the logistics of lifting such

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Speaker 1: a heavy thing were just too much for me. The

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Speaker 1: worst part of it is it's very high quality too,

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Speaker 1: so I can't even dispute the charge. Eight hundred dollars

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Speaker 1: is a lot of money for me, not to mention

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Speaker 1: the extra three hundred dollars worth of clothes and accessories

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Speaker 1: that I ordered.

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Speaker 2: The guy first purchases an eight hundred dollars doll and

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Speaker 2: then he's like, this isn't enough. I want to not

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Speaker 2: this doll out.

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Speaker 1: Without these closing accessories. Isn't that what you want?

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Speaker 2: Maybe that's just with you. I agree with you there,

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Speaker 2: but I'm also wondering, what are these outfits like? Is

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Speaker 2: it like an American girl doll kind of situation?

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Speaker 1: Honestly, there is a picture when it kind of.

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Speaker 2: Does look Is it like a made outfit like that?

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Speaker 1: You know, the dress with like the overall top with

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Speaker 1: the dress on the bottom. I think, yeah, just like

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Speaker 1: a regular dress. Why not just buy a regular dress?

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Speaker 1: It's a five foot six doll, like, go to target

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Speaker 1: or forget going to target, order it online.

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Speaker 2: And yeah, parent, it's gonna be like ten bucks from

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Speaker 2: H and M or freaking uh, what's that one or sheen.

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Speaker 1: This guy is going to have a terrible time managing

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Speaker 1: his finances into his adult.

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Speaker 2: I know, I can't imagine the collection of dolls he's

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Speaker 2: gonna have when he's thirty. Or maybe he's learned his lesson, hopefully, So.

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Speaker 1: Here's the deal. It is only a matter of time

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Speaker 1: before somebody finds out.

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Speaker 2: I mean he's told all of Reddit, so true.

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Speaker 1: He's an inched on himself the millions of Internet strangers,

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Speaker 1: and we are not helping the case.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, share this video.

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Speaker 1: I've put some clothes on it, so at least once

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Speaker 1: it's found, it will have the clothes on it.

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Speaker 2: You want it to look respectable.

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Speaker 1: We're respectable over here. I have no idea what to

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Speaker 1: do with it. At least I got a decent Reddit

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Speaker 1: post out of it, and there's an edit. I am

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Speaker 1: terrified of telling any of my friends about this, so

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Speaker 1: I'm really stuck in a corner. Dolls and the like

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Speaker 1: are associated with in cells and guys like that, and

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Speaker 1: I do not want to associate myself with them.

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Speaker 2: Maybe you shouldn't have bought a doll with three hundred

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Speaker 2: dollars worth of clothes.

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Speaker 1: If people at my school find out, I would probably

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Speaker 1: end up being labeled as such. What do we think here, Sam,

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Speaker 1: what what are our thoughts on this?

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Speaker 2: Okay? All right, well situate well, I actually have an

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Speaker 2: idea of how to solve the issue.

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Speaker 1: Okay, hit me.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever seen Breaking Bad? I have seen maybe

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Speaker 1: one episode many years ago.

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Speaker 2: Okay. So they accidentally make a guy unlive, okay, and

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Speaker 2: they're like, what do we do with the body? And

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Speaker 2: so they cut it up into little pieces and then

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Speaker 2: put it in acid and dissolve it. And so cut

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Speaker 2: your doll up into little pieces and put it in

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Speaker 2: acid and dissolve it and then pour it into the

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Speaker 2: plants in the front yard.

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Speaker 1: I like the idea just poking holes, you know, constructive

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Speaker 1: criticism here, poking holes. It's good end results. But I

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Speaker 1: think the operation itself would be quite an ordeal and

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Speaker 1: hard to pull off.

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Speaker 2: Maybe get a wheelchair privoct crime. All right, So put

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Speaker 2: the doll in a wheelchair on Halloween, put a bed

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Speaker 2: sheet over it, cut a hole out for the eye,

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Speaker 2: say hey, this my friend. We're just leaving right now.

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Speaker 2: She's a ghost, and then dump it in the alleyway.

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Speaker 1: I think I think I got it. I think I

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Speaker 1: got it. He's a high schooler, right, he has classes.

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Speaker 1: He probably has some sort of you know biology, a

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Speaker 1: class that would have something to do with human anatomy.

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Speaker 1: He puts it in in more even more like non suspicious,

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Speaker 1: you know, clothing and attire. Tell his parents like, hey,

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Speaker 1: we're doing like a dissection. They're sending the doll to

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Speaker 1: my house because we have a like week long assignment

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Speaker 1: that we have to do. Wow, at the house, dress

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Speaker 1: up the doll and then you know, maybe have him

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Speaker 1: see it once or or whatever, and then dumping in

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Speaker 1: a dumpster or something.

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Speaker 2: Wow, that's smart.

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Speaker 1: That's pretty good.

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Speaker 2: That's smart, pretty smart. I like that if the parents

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Speaker 2: saw the doll with the open mouth and the giant ass, biddies,

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Speaker 2: I think that might draw a little suspicion. This is true,

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Speaker 2: but I think it's the best idea that we have.

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Speaker 2: Open my mouth has closed.

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Speaker 1: I think if you got the right clothing, I mean,

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Speaker 1: we do have a large chest region to cover, but

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Speaker 1: if you got the right clothing, like just very like

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Speaker 1: like the prison uniform, it's it's it's plane, it's straight.

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Speaker 1: There's no like fitting for right. If you're that, it

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Speaker 1: just might.

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Speaker 2: Work, all right, well, OK, let us know if that

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Speaker 2: escape wan.

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Speaker 1: Reached out to us, and we'll interview you for the

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Speaker 1: update episode.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, we invite you. I read what's his handle?

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Speaker 1: I read corn sixty nine. There's no there's no c

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Speaker 1: in corn use your name checks out. But you know

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Speaker 1: what you should always check out. In addition to a

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00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:09,319
Speaker 1: boom boom fun time dull, is that freaking subscribe button?

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Speaker 1: Subscribe YouTube, follow us on Spotify and TikTok, and if

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Speaker 1: That is right, That is right. Join the ranks of

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Speaker 1: Amanda Willcomb's, Conor van Buren, Tika Simmons, and Kathy Quigley.

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Speaker 2: See us soon.