1 00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:14,880 Speaker 1: A few weeks ago, on the one hundredth episode of 2 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:17,600 Speaker 1: Just Be, I answered your Questions. We had over two 3 00:00:18,079 --> 00:00:21,239 Speaker 1: questions submitted, and they were all so interesting and so thoughtful. 4 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:24,040 Speaker 1: I wanted to answer them all, but I only got 5 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:26,079 Speaker 1: through a fraction of them, because there are only so 6 00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:28,080 Speaker 1: many questions that you can get to in a forty 7 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:32,960 Speaker 1: five minute episode. But the questions you send are so 8 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:35,960 Speaker 1: good and I love answering them so much. I learned 9 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:38,040 Speaker 1: so much about myself and you, and it's just a 10 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:41,560 Speaker 1: great way for us to engage. UM. I'm determined to 11 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:45,560 Speaker 1: keep chipping away at them on special occasions, and Mother's 12 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:48,199 Speaker 1: Day is maybe the most special occasion out of the 13 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:52,520 Speaker 1: entire year. It's always on my daughter's birthday weekend, and 14 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,120 Speaker 1: in honor of Mother's Day this Sunday, I'm going back 15 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:58,680 Speaker 1: and answering the questions you asked on parenting. So let's 16 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:07,160 Speaker 1: get into it from Christina Brown. Do you think parents 17 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:09,640 Speaker 1: should be super hands on all the time or do 18 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:11,440 Speaker 1: you think there are things you should let your kids 19 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:16,880 Speaker 1: learn on their own? Um? They they just are. So 20 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:20,360 Speaker 1: it sounds like you might have younger kids. Um, and 21 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:23,240 Speaker 1: we worry about all the things that don't even happen, 22 00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:27,679 Speaker 1: and they just get independent. I mean, my daughter doesn't 23 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:31,120 Speaker 1: love lunch at school. So when I bought slice salami 24 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:34,360 Speaker 1: and withzarella and parm gan crisps and olives and put 25 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:36,759 Speaker 1: it out the first day with Homas, she was so excited. 26 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:38,600 Speaker 1: And I did it a couple of days, and all 27 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:42,120 Speaker 1: of a sudden, now I come home and I got it. 28 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:45,240 Speaker 1: Mom and she's making yoki with pesto, and she's making 29 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:48,640 Speaker 1: one day but like a Bognes and she makes roasted 30 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:51,240 Speaker 1: Brussels sprouts to sesame oil, and she's like kind of 31 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:54,040 Speaker 1: irritated if I want to do my own little parenting things. 32 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:58,200 Speaker 1: So they become really independent. You're you're you want them 33 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:00,400 Speaker 1: to bathe, and you just thank god, this kid is 34 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:02,520 Speaker 1: disgusting and they're never gonna want to bathe their whole life. 35 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, one day I have 36 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:05,480 Speaker 1: to go in the other room. I'm gonna take a 37 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:07,680 Speaker 1: shower or it used to be only baths, and then 38 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 1: my daughter I need to take a shower, and I 39 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:12,200 Speaker 1: just gotta go. I gotta go, like you know, do 40 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:15,359 Speaker 1: my skincare routine. I'm like your eleven. So they get 41 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:19,640 Speaker 1: so independent that there. It doesn't even matter if you intervene. 42 00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:22,519 Speaker 1: I used to beg. I used to you know, I 43 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:24,280 Speaker 1: used to ask them to wear certain clothes. They didn't 44 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:26,080 Speaker 1: want to wear certain clothes. Then years later they want 45 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:27,680 Speaker 1: to wear those same clothes you tried to get them 46 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:30,000 Speaker 1: to wear. Then you have to pack them for every trip, 47 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:31,839 Speaker 1: and it's just annoying that you have to pack them. 48 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:33,480 Speaker 1: But then you get to the point where they want 49 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:35,079 Speaker 1: to pack themselves and you're like, God, it's gonna be 50 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:37,520 Speaker 1: a freaking disaster. You need panties, you need to and 51 00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:40,200 Speaker 1: they just pack themselves and it somehow works out. So 52 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:43,400 Speaker 1: at least I introduced the packing cubes for my daughter 53 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:47,200 Speaker 1: to try to like separated things. But they become independent, 54 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:49,760 Speaker 1: so it's going to work out no matter what. They 55 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:54,920 Speaker 1: will learn on their own, okay, e h G. Twelve sixteen. 56 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:57,760 Speaker 1: What is the story behind how I finally decided to 57 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:01,400 Speaker 1: let Brin be seen on my social media? You know, 58 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:05,600 Speaker 1: kids get into the age where they're interested in social media, 59 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:10,000 Speaker 1: and my daughters around me posting myself and sometimes she'll 60 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,840 Speaker 1: just put her face and go hey. To be perfectly honest, 61 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:16,440 Speaker 1: my daughter doesn't care about being on social media at all, 62 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,560 Speaker 1: she's not thirsty. She doesn't care about fame. Other kids 63 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:21,560 Speaker 1: that I know are constantly asking me about what I 64 00:03:21,639 --> 00:03:23,919 Speaker 1: do and I'm on TV and what's it like and 65 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:28,160 Speaker 1: my followers, and she's not into it at all. Once 66 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:31,040 Speaker 1: in a while we'll do a humorous TikTok that we 67 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:34,040 Speaker 1: just find so funny, and I frankly find it funnier. 68 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:36,400 Speaker 1: But um, I need a partner in crime. And I 69 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:38,440 Speaker 1: think it's I just saw something ridiculous that I would 70 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:40,640 Speaker 1: love to do with her, same with Paul, but they 71 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:45,880 Speaker 1: couldn't possibly care less. And um, when it's her birthday, 72 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:50,040 Speaker 1: I feel like, you know, I'm hiding someone that's in 73 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:52,320 Speaker 1: the witness protection program if I don't post a picture 74 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:54,760 Speaker 1: of my child looking cute and I want to share 75 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:57,440 Speaker 1: it with you, and and and she does like when 76 00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:59,720 Speaker 1: people will send messages, I'll then say to her, but honestly, 77 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 1: she doesn't. She doesn't care. So the story is that 78 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:09,240 Speaker 1: I felt and was under lock and key for so long. Um, 79 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:15,920 Speaker 1: Yet I still don't like to really overexposed her. I 80 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,320 Speaker 1: like there to be a nice balance of reality and 81 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:21,440 Speaker 1: the fact that she's aware of social media and not 82 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:23,560 Speaker 1: feeling like I have her locked in the closet like 83 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:26,040 Speaker 1: a prisoner, and she cannot be on social media, although 84 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:28,280 Speaker 1: she probably wouldn't care at all anyway, She really just 85 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:32,920 Speaker 1: doesn't care. Um from kel Kell, twelve oh three. How 86 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,360 Speaker 1: involved is your daughter with your philanthropy? My daughter sixteen, 87 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:37,080 Speaker 1: and I've always tried to encourage her to help others. 88 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,600 Speaker 1: Do you have your daughter participate in other charitable events 89 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:41,840 Speaker 1: on her own or something her age group can do. 90 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:43,680 Speaker 1: Love what you do to help others in need, you 91 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:48,279 Speaker 1: do amazing things, very inspiring. Well, it's weird. I was 92 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:51,159 Speaker 1: going to North Carolina to visit people at a shelter 93 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:56,000 Speaker 1: and donate aid, and Brin came with me to load 94 00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:58,599 Speaker 1: the boxes on the plane and was supposed to come. 95 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:00,520 Speaker 1: I don't remember if she has miss in school. I 96 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:02,719 Speaker 1: think she was, and she got sick and she didn't 97 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:06,359 Speaker 1: get to come. She just didn't feel well. And then 98 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:08,880 Speaker 1: there have been other times when I thought I was 99 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:10,279 Speaker 1: going to bring her. I was going to bring her 100 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:14,040 Speaker 1: to North Carolina, New Orleans, but the flights got canceled 101 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:18,080 Speaker 1: um because of a storm, and so it hasn't been 102 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:23,200 Speaker 1: meant to be. She painted twenty five original paintings and 103 00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:28,400 Speaker 1: raised twelve five hundred dollars for Ukraine, um, but actually 104 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:31,240 Speaker 1: more now because Paul's mom gave more than she was 105 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:34,839 Speaker 1: supposed to, so probably fourteen to fifteen thousand dollars. But 106 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:37,280 Speaker 1: she realized after we went to Michael's and got the 107 00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:39,520 Speaker 1: supplies and she got the canvases and she got into 108 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,120 Speaker 1: it that she had to make twenty five I mean 109 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:43,560 Speaker 1: it was volume making one is one thing. So she 110 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:46,039 Speaker 1: did realize what that meant and what she committed to, 111 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:48,400 Speaker 1: because we had also thought we'd make all these bracelets, 112 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:50,800 Speaker 1: and we bought all the right colors, and it's time consuming. 113 00:05:50,839 --> 00:05:55,520 Speaker 1: So she realized that she hasn't been hands on enough yet, 114 00:05:56,400 --> 00:06:00,400 Speaker 1: you know, lemonade stands and selling hot chocolate, cute and stuff, 115 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:03,360 Speaker 1: But she hasn't really been hands on enough yet. And 116 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:06,800 Speaker 1: I'm waiting for the right opportunity because often when I 117 00:06:06,839 --> 00:06:09,760 Speaker 1: can bring her, it's too gnarly for a kid to 118 00:06:09,839 --> 00:06:13,159 Speaker 1: be there, And then when it's in a place where 119 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:16,400 Speaker 1: I could bring her, it's two together, meaning I'm just 120 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:19,159 Speaker 1: going and giving out be strong cards to people, which 121 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:22,240 Speaker 1: is nice, but it's not It's a fine line between 122 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:26,000 Speaker 1: her seeing real desperation and seeing too much. I brought 123 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:30,880 Speaker 1: her to the Bronx to visit where the building was 124 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:33,159 Speaker 1: for the fires, and she got to see, like, those 125 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:36,320 Speaker 1: are the windows that you know there was a massive 126 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:37,760 Speaker 1: fire and if you remember in the Bronx, it was 127 00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:39,760 Speaker 1: terrible in the whole building burned down, and so she 128 00:06:39,839 --> 00:06:42,719 Speaker 1: got to see people that jumped out the window into 129 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:45,080 Speaker 1: a dump ster. And she understands, but there's nothing like 130 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:49,760 Speaker 1: hands on and um, you've got to get their hands 131 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:51,640 Speaker 1: a little dirty. You're gonna have to just take them 132 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:56,120 Speaker 1: to see something really unfortunate or sick children. Because just 133 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:58,599 Speaker 1: putting together clothes it makes us feel better, it's not 134 00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:01,120 Speaker 1: actually necessarily helping. So I'm just going for one day. 135 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:02,960 Speaker 1: It's kind of so we checked the box and feel 136 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:07,599 Speaker 1: like we're doing the privilege parenting version. But you've got 137 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:09,440 Speaker 1: to find a way for them to really get their 138 00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:24,600 Speaker 1: hands dirty. Liz Beckett asks, was I afraid to become 139 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:26,880 Speaker 1: a mom? Did I have any fears that I wouldn't 140 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:29,280 Speaker 1: be good at it? Honestly, I didn't. And it's very 141 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:32,960 Speaker 1: strange because, um, I second guess so many things in 142 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,240 Speaker 1: my life. I don't second guess business, I don't second 143 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:37,800 Speaker 1: guess parenting. I mean, there'll be a time when things 144 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:39,920 Speaker 1: aren't going that great and I'm upset or I'm sad, 145 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,960 Speaker 1: or we've had an argument, or you know, I'm frustrated, 146 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,520 Speaker 1: but it's I'm never unsure. It's sort of like a 147 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:48,680 Speaker 1: person who's operating a vehicle that they really understand, and 148 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:52,640 Speaker 1: it's it's crazy because I didn't have that maternal instinct. 149 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:55,080 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, smells you you smoot see in your eyes, 150 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:56,720 Speaker 1: Gotta get it out. I don't like. I just want 151 00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:58,280 Speaker 1: it's better for you and better for me and better 152 00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:03,320 Speaker 1: for everything. So um, I didn't have that maternal instinct. 153 00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:05,560 Speaker 1: I didn't look at moms of babies and dream about it. 154 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:09,600 Speaker 1: It just I was pregnant, I had a baby, I 155 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:13,120 Speaker 1: felt madly in love. I understood it. I just it 156 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:15,840 Speaker 1: just was something I instinctively understood. So I just go 157 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:18,240 Speaker 1: with my gut. You just go with your gut. You 158 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,800 Speaker 1: don't take too much advice because everybody is a pain 159 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:23,080 Speaker 1: in the ask and everybody's an expert, and nobody could 160 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,520 Speaker 1: be an expert on something that's like the ocean. It's 161 00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:30,320 Speaker 1: like it's just a moving, living, breathing organism that's just 162 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:36,040 Speaker 1: moving at Catherine Matharine, what trade do I most strongly 163 00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:40,200 Speaker 1: hope my daughter inherits from me. I don't think I 164 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:48,200 Speaker 1: really think about that. I mean, fearlessness, courage of conviction, individual, individuality. 165 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:50,920 Speaker 1: I mean these boxes are already checked at this time. 166 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:54,839 Speaker 1: She's very individual and she's very original and I love that, 167 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,800 Speaker 1: and she's honest and I love that. But she's better 168 00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:00,840 Speaker 1: than I am because she's more was served and not 169 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:03,320 Speaker 1: so aggressive and just more comfortable in her own skin 170 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:06,439 Speaker 1: in that way. I mean, she's really great. Um from anonymous. 171 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:08,800 Speaker 1: Do I tell Bren she can't date until a certain age? 172 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:11,480 Speaker 1: That's what my parents told me growing up, but that 173 00:09:11,559 --> 00:09:13,560 Speaker 1: definitely didn't work on me. I have a I have 174 00:09:13,559 --> 00:09:15,360 Speaker 1: an eleven year old too, and I want to protect her, 175 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:17,079 Speaker 1: but I also don't want our relationship to be streamed 176 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:19,079 Speaker 1: because I'm telling her she can't date until she's sixteen, 177 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:22,439 Speaker 1: and then she hates me. I mean they're not really dating. 178 00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:24,839 Speaker 1: I mean I don't know, am I naive? I mean 179 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:26,800 Speaker 1: they I guess at like thirteen or something, you'll start 180 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:31,240 Speaker 1: making out I suppose, or fourteen, But you'd rather know 181 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:34,040 Speaker 1: what's going on than them just sneak and then have rebellion. 182 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,600 Speaker 1: I mean dating. They talked to boys, and they like 183 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:39,160 Speaker 1: to say that they're, you know, dating someone, or I 184 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:40,560 Speaker 1: have a boyfriend, or this one as a boyfriend. Then 185 00:09:40,559 --> 00:09:42,120 Speaker 1: they ended the next day they date the friend of 186 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:44,240 Speaker 1: the person. There's no code. They don't even know what 187 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,679 Speaker 1: they're doing. They're like small little animals in the wild. 188 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:49,280 Speaker 1: I don't think there's much to worry about. Honestly, there's 189 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:51,240 Speaker 1: something to worry about, you'll know it. But it's certainly 190 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:54,000 Speaker 1: not going to be changed by you locking your kid 191 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:55,800 Speaker 1: in the closet or telling them what they can and 192 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:59,280 Speaker 1: can't do. At that age. UM, you know, the doors 193 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:02,680 Speaker 1: open if they are ever with boys and you check 194 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:05,679 Speaker 1: in on them, and there's a certain um time limit. 195 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:08,479 Speaker 1: But I find that they just they just all zoom 196 00:10:08,559 --> 00:10:11,120 Speaker 1: and group text. They don't do anything. They just want 197 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:12,760 Speaker 1: to say it. They like, watched a movie about what 198 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:14,400 Speaker 1: they think dating is and they just want to say it. 199 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:19,040 Speaker 1: But they don't do anything. From at Jack's se J 200 00:10:19,679 --> 00:10:22,120 Speaker 1: they held hands. They hold hands. I know that J 201 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:25,080 Speaker 1: A X S I E. What has been the hardest 202 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:28,280 Speaker 1: part of motherhood. The hardest part of motherhood has been 203 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:33,760 Speaker 1: UM just wanting to be with them all the time, 204 00:10:34,679 --> 00:10:37,000 Speaker 1: to the point where so I went out to dinner 205 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:38,760 Speaker 1: last night. I went out to dinner at six o'clock. 206 00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:41,600 Speaker 1: I got home at eight and my daughter, I never 207 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:44,880 Speaker 1: do this and that's my problem and sad and it 208 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,360 Speaker 1: is what it is. But my daughter when I got 209 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:49,560 Speaker 1: home a little mamma, not really crying, but like she 210 00:10:49,679 --> 00:10:51,160 Speaker 1: was like, I don't you know. I thought you were 211 00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:52,800 Speaker 1: coming home at seven thirty and you didn't come home 212 00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:57,520 Speaker 1: until like eight fifteen. And I I, I like I should. 213 00:10:57,559 --> 00:10:59,760 Speaker 1: I needed to have a plan with activities, so I could, 214 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:01,760 Speaker 1: you know, figure out what I'm like you sometimes you're 215 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:03,800 Speaker 1: a waiting from me for days or you got She 216 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:07,719 Speaker 1: just put the idea of of me being out to her, 217 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:10,680 Speaker 1: you know, because we're there their assistance, where we just 218 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:12,640 Speaker 1: we just serve at the pleasure of them. So if 219 00:11:12,679 --> 00:11:14,880 Speaker 1: they have something to do, they have plans or they're 220 00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:17,400 Speaker 1: you know, doing something else that's different. But we can't 221 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:19,960 Speaker 1: really have plans. So I'd say the hardest thing is 222 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:23,640 Speaker 1: being torn. I don't want to do anything when I 223 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:25,200 Speaker 1: am with her. I just don't want to. I want 224 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,400 Speaker 1: to be with her. It's just it goes so quickly. 225 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:33,040 Speaker 1: So any time not spent with her, you know, gives 226 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:36,439 Speaker 1: me anxiety, but that's not necessarily healthy, and I understand 227 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:37,880 Speaker 1: that has to be a balance, but I don't know. 228 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:40,240 Speaker 1: I just choose her first. So the hardest part is 229 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:43,000 Speaker 1: not understanding what the balance really should because I don't 230 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:46,559 Speaker 1: really care. I'm doing what I'm doing. And she used 231 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:49,280 Speaker 1: to sleep in bed with me a lot all the time, 232 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,079 Speaker 1: and probably until the I don't know, maybe like ten 233 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:52,800 Speaker 1: and during the pandemic, and I lived for it. I 234 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:55,199 Speaker 1: don't care about the world. She's not gonna sleep in 235 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:56,960 Speaker 1: her she doesn't sleep my bed. Now. Once in away 236 00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:59,240 Speaker 1: a while she'll fall asleep, and they're frankly, it's annoying. 237 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,560 Speaker 1: It like you're on my body and you're snoring and 238 00:12:01,559 --> 00:12:03,560 Speaker 1: you need to go in your own, good goddamn room, 239 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,160 Speaker 1: but you love it. And then once in a while 240 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,520 Speaker 1: you crawl in their bed because you just want that 241 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,839 Speaker 1: extra because it's like extra time you get together. But 242 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:12,719 Speaker 1: the point is they sleep in your bed. They're not 243 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:15,959 Speaker 1: They're not going to college and sleeping in your bed. 244 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:19,440 Speaker 1: So don't worry about the stuff that doesn't matter. From 245 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:21,400 Speaker 1: Danny Rector, you talked about this a little bit, but 246 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,880 Speaker 1: did becoming a mother change your relationship with your mother? 247 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,880 Speaker 1: It did because my daughter wanted a relationship and what 248 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,640 Speaker 1: she wants in that regard is more important because of 249 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:34,760 Speaker 1: the example, and because of do overs and break in 250 00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:40,559 Speaker 1: the circle, and just just because. Um okay from Megan Brady, 251 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:43,160 Speaker 1: how do you think having kids changes romantic relationships. I 252 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:45,320 Speaker 1: had had a lot of shitty relationships in my twenties, 253 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:47,160 Speaker 1: and now at thirty five, I found the love of 254 00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:48,840 Speaker 1: my life and I just feel like the luckiest person 255 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:50,480 Speaker 1: in the world. But some of my girlfriends have had 256 00:12:50,559 --> 00:12:52,960 Speaker 1: kids recently and put a lot of tension between them 257 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:55,079 Speaker 1: and their husbands. I just feel like I waited so 258 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:56,719 Speaker 1: long to find the perfect guy, and I don't want 259 00:12:56,720 --> 00:13:01,240 Speaker 1: anything to ruin it. That's an interesting question, Megan. Well, 260 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,680 Speaker 1: that's a dance. Okay, you don't have to do it 261 00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:06,480 Speaker 1: right away. But if you don't have kids and you 262 00:13:06,559 --> 00:13:09,360 Speaker 1: want to and or your partner wants to also, and 263 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:14,320 Speaker 1: you go too long, that stage of selfishness could ruin it. Also, 264 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,520 Speaker 1: you know, nothing good less forever. Trees do not grow 265 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:19,600 Speaker 1: up to the sky, So you have to find that 266 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,200 Speaker 1: balance your thirty five. Maybe start thinking about it at 267 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,520 Speaker 1: thirty six or thirty seven, so you take that time 268 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:28,360 Speaker 1: really get out of the honeymoon phase, be happy, and 269 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:31,840 Speaker 1: then you'll it'll be just like four seasons one, the 270 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:34,080 Speaker 1: next season will come. So it doesn't have to be 271 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:36,440 Speaker 1: right now. But if you both have established in your 272 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,160 Speaker 1: individual lives and together that you want to have kids, 273 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:43,880 Speaker 1: don't then you don't want to not have them because 274 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:51,720 Speaker 1: of this honeymoon paradise phase. From Eric? What's harder? And 275 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:55,439 Speaker 1: also a relationship should grow and involve what it takes 276 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:59,480 Speaker 1: to manage difficulty and hardship and going through struggles and 277 00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:05,080 Speaker 1: managing parenthood. Like life can't be just fantasy and you 278 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:08,400 Speaker 1: know rainbows and unicorns, and that will fade anyway in 279 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:11,400 Speaker 1: any relationship, So you might as well throw having kids 280 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:14,920 Speaker 1: into the pot. If if if the fantasy is going 281 00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:19,320 Speaker 1: to fade? Um from Eric, what's harder running a business 282 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:24,440 Speaker 1: or being a parent? Great question? Being a parent is 283 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:31,360 Speaker 1: harder than running a business? Um? I think I think 284 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:34,640 Speaker 1: they're similar because running a business involves a lot of 285 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:40,440 Speaker 1: elements and organization and coordination and communication, being emotionally intelligent 286 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:44,320 Speaker 1: and I don't remember if I just said, did I 287 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:46,520 Speaker 1: say running a big business? Yeah? And and being a 288 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:49,760 Speaker 1: parent involves all those identical things and being present in 289 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:53,080 Speaker 1: your business is important, and focusing on it and prioritizing 290 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:56,360 Speaker 1: and being present. I think they're they're both equally as difficult, 291 00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:58,120 Speaker 1: which is I've never been asked that. That's a great question, 292 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:01,040 Speaker 1: Eric Anonymous, I where we're mom. How do you bounce 293 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:03,640 Speaker 1: advancing and work and being a good mom. I don't 294 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:05,120 Speaker 1: know how to split my time, and I feel like 295 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:08,600 Speaker 1: I'm always doing everything half asked. That's a terrible feeling. 296 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:11,400 Speaker 1: I get it. You need to be present in both. 297 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:14,400 Speaker 1: You need to win e both. You need to excel 298 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:19,280 Speaker 1: at both, and by having your ass in forty two places, 299 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:23,800 Speaker 1: you're then doing each thing halfway. If you do when 300 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:27,480 Speaker 1: you're working full on, you're totally committed, you're not divided, 301 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:29,960 Speaker 1: you're not thinking about the other thing, You're just doing it. 302 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:32,640 Speaker 1: And then the same thing goes to parenting and you're 303 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,640 Speaker 1: not always on your phone and you're present, and you 304 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:37,760 Speaker 1: really create a discipline about it, you then can do 305 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:40,360 Speaker 1: both very well. It is possible. You have to be 306 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:44,320 Speaker 1: fiercely organized. That calendar needs to be like a chessboard 307 00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:47,200 Speaker 1: that you plan out and move the pieces ahead of time. 308 00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:49,880 Speaker 1: You have to be fiercely organized about your business and 309 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:53,200 Speaker 1: just about everything from stuff to doctor's appointments, to packing, 310 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:56,720 Speaker 1: to school to everything. You've got to be on the game. 311 00:15:56,840 --> 00:16:00,480 Speaker 1: You cannot. You can't probably be in great shape, having 312 00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:06,280 Speaker 1: sex tan uh, going on great vacations, being very social. 313 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:08,760 Speaker 1: You can't do it all. But you can be successful 314 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,920 Speaker 1: at work and parenting. You probably just can't be doing 315 00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:19,320 Speaker 1: everything else. In addition, Yeah, I love the questions. Keep 316 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:22,000 Speaker 1: the questions and comments coming. Um. I think it's a 317 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,760 Speaker 1: great way for us to learn about each other. I 318 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:27,400 Speaker 1: love parenting, I love Mother's Day, and I love all 319 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:30,240 Speaker 1: of you. So I appreciate you. Please remember to rate, 320 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:33,960 Speaker 1: review and subscribe, and have an amazing day, and have 321 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,400 Speaker 1: a happy, happy Mother's Day.