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Speaker 1: My husband got a second wife because I was infertile.

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Speaker 2: But now I'm pregnant.

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Speaker 1: What do I do?

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Speaker 3: Wait a second wife because are number two moments or

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Speaker 3: number two?

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Speaker 2: I think we're going to find out.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know about the second wife because of

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Speaker 3: infertility kind of deal. They need a baby. You know

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Speaker 3: what they say, happy wives, happy lives.

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Speaker 1: Bingo plural, specifically true emphasis on that. So I'm from

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Speaker 1: a culture where it's okay for a husband to have

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Speaker 1: up to four wives, although it's not often done.

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Speaker 3: What is it? Is it Mormons? Mormons? It's gotta be Mormons,

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Speaker 3: or or I mean in some Muslim cultures.

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Speaker 2: Right, I'm almost positive it's is long?

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Speaker 3: Yeah really yeah.

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Speaker 1: Now, when my husband and I got married, he said

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Speaker 1: he only ever wanted me. We got along great, and

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Speaker 1: we fell in love soon after the wedding. This was

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Speaker 1: an arranged marriage, Okay. After trying for a child for

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Speaker 1: a long time, we found out that I had diminished

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Speaker 1: ovarian reserves and we would not get pregnant and IVF

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Speaker 1: would most likely be futile round after futile rounds. So

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Speaker 1: it's like, hey, it's trough. You know you could do

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Speaker 1: you could do IVF, but.

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Speaker 3: Like it's not gonna work.

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Speaker 2: Probably probably not, nothing's gonna happen.

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Speaker 1: He to just keep going, And yeah, I was absolutely heartbroken.

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Speaker 1: I could not bear his children for him, he was

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Speaker 1: more okay with this than I was. We discussed and

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Speaker 1: reached the decision together for him to have a second

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Speaker 1: wife as long as she would be a good.

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Speaker 2: Fit for his life.

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Speaker 3: Wow, that's so. It's that's such a like conversation or

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Speaker 3: like conversation to me, that's like very interesting.

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Speaker 1: And they were expecting monogamy, like they had no plans whatsoever.

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Speaker 3: Of like do you have another wedding? Do you say

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Speaker 3: like you may now kiss the bride? These are other

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Speaker 3: bride there, These are question standing there. Do they do

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Speaker 3: a three way kiss? I imagine they have three ways?

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Speaker 2: I imagine they do have a wedding.

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Speaker 3: I love how to like she's like surprised that he's

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Speaker 3: not heartbroken, like like I'm like, oh, like like my

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Speaker 3: man's like, you know, it'll be tough. It somehow we can.

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Speaker 2: Somehow, I guess I guess we can. We can give it,

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Speaker 2: give it a go.

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Speaker 3: It's not heartbroken at all. It's just like doing secret

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Speaker 3: fist bumps.

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Speaker 1: Now, for example, would she be okay with living together

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Speaker 1: with his first wife.

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Speaker 3: Me.

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Speaker 1: Our religion says the second wife has rights to her

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Speaker 1: own place if she wants, and we didn't want to

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Speaker 1: rush anything. And I actually found a woman who was interested,

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Speaker 1: and I introduced her to my husband. She's being proactive

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Speaker 1: over here. Wow, she's getting the job done. So my

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Speaker 1: husband and his new wife got on well, and I

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Speaker 1: didn't have much jealousy, and things were great.

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Speaker 3: That's awesome.

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Speaker 1: Things were, Things were rolling along here. They got married

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Speaker 1: and we all lived together.

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Speaker 3: And sounds that they got married.

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Speaker 2: They got married.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, but she didn't get married.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, she.

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Speaker 1: Does not get married to them, but he marries. It's

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Speaker 1: like the guy is married to the wives. Ocatually they

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Speaker 1: got married and we all lived together while they were

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Speaker 1: ups and down. I was at first, like any marriage.

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Speaker 1: My husband and I had them as well. Eventually things

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Speaker 1: were awesome. We lived together and our husband treats us

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Speaker 1: both excellently. She soon became pregnant and we were all

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Speaker 1: super excited. Her pregnancy was hard, but I looked after her,

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Speaker 1: and when the baby came, I was also a mother

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Speaker 1: and loved this child like my very own. And we

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Speaker 1: were all getting along so well. She now has a

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Speaker 1: four and a two year old with my husband. When

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Speaker 1: we discussed our feelings once, she said she feels secure

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Speaker 1: because she's been able to give my husband children, and

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Speaker 1: I feel secure because I'm his first wife. However, I

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Speaker 1: just found out that I am eight weeks pregnant. After

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Speaker 1: all the stuff that she went.

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Speaker 3: Through, that seems like it complicates no IVF.

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Speaker 1: They got a second wife, and now finally she's pregnant.

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Speaker 3: This God, the IVF didn't work. The second wife did work.

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Speaker 2: Now what terrible timing.

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Speaker 1: I never expected this to happen, and I really am

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Speaker 1: so happy, but I'm terrified of how this is going

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Speaker 1: to change our relationship dynamic. I'm scared she will be

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Speaker 1: hurt or our household might be split into two households,

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Speaker 1: and then I'll have to get my husband fifty percent

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Speaker 1: of the time with a newborn. I really don't want

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Speaker 1: to hurt the co wife. I don't want to ruin

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Speaker 1: the family dynamic, and I feel pressure all the time,

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Speaker 1: and I haven't yet told my husband or my co wife.

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Speaker 2: Please I really need advice. I feel so bad for her.

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Speaker 3: She's like I also like I am probably the least

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Speaker 3: qualified person to give advice on this relationship. No, like

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Speaker 3: I have no like, how do you give advice here? Like,

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Speaker 3: I have no idea how polygamous relationships work. I have

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Speaker 3: no idea about the dynamics my like, in my suspicion

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Speaker 3: is is actually not that big of an issue, Like

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Speaker 3: I think it's it's not going to really change the

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Speaker 3: dynamic that much.

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Speaker 1: It sounds like it's like we all have anxieties and

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Speaker 1: things that like in our own heads seem like.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the worst of things in the world.

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Speaker 1: But it sounds like her husband the co wife are

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Speaker 1: both completely reasonable, understanding, loving, like they they've worked through

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Speaker 1: all of these scenarios like together.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so why would anything change here? Like it's it

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Speaker 3: sounds like they have a great relationship with each other.

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Speaker 3: So I think it's gonna be fine. But I'm just fascinated.

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Speaker 3: Like now I'm like, dude, I want to read more

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Speaker 3: relationship stories about other cultures. Yeah, because this is like

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Speaker 3: like I've that is Yeah, that is an interesting thread

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Speaker 3: to go on. I've literally never heard of anything like this. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: Like I know, I'm so Also, I mean, have you

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Speaker 3: read sex at Down before? So like that it's it's

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Speaker 3: a book about like sex and relationships, and they talk

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Speaker 3: about how the default state of humans is to be polygamous,

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Speaker 3: but within a the context of like a group of people,

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Speaker 3: and that that that are not sorry, not polyamorous. I

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Speaker 3: always get those two mixed up, right, But.

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Speaker 2: How dare you?

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Speaker 3: I continue? But like the sex would actually maintain bonds

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Speaker 3: between members of the of the group and instead of

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Speaker 3: child bearing or instead of like like raising children, and

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Speaker 3: instead of a one mother raising children, the group would

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Speaker 3: raise their children, and so it was the group's children

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Speaker 3: rather than like a single one cup person children.

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Speaker 2: And is that like kind of hunter gatherer times? Hey,

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Speaker 2: we ever pack? We travel together, like exactly kids together.

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Speaker 3: And I feel like this is like the closest modern

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Speaker 3: day equivalent to a relationship that is like that. Although

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Speaker 3: I feel like this relationship is in terms of power dynamics,

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Speaker 3: it's not as equal because it's like only the man,

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Speaker 3: only the man. Yeah, so I feel like the power

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Speaker 3: dynamic is a little bit off from the one hundred

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Speaker 3: gathered days, but still fascinating, and it's cool that it's

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Speaker 3: like working for them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it seems like some people, like people do have

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Speaker 1: polyamorous relationships out there. It's crazy that it's illegal and

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Speaker 1: criminalized in North and South America, including all fifty states

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Speaker 1: I had.

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Speaker 2: I had no idea.

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Speaker 3: That's wild, the institution of I mean, we just let

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Speaker 3: like gay people get married. This is true.

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Speaker 1: This is true, except for Utah Utah's out here. They're like, sir,

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Speaker 1: you don't have a felony. Here's a parking ticket, Keith.

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Speaker 3: It's for those, it's for those Mormons, those keeping on baby.

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Speaker 2: And there's an update.

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Speaker 3: Oh, there's an updates.

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Speaker 1: Thank you to everyone who's taken the time to reply.

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Speaker 1: It is really warm to my heart to see such

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Speaker 1: kind hearted replies, and also that I've had people from

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Speaker 1: other cultures to talk about it in an understanding.

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Speaker 2: Way, which is so sweet.

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Speaker 3: That's awesome.

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Speaker 1: I've decided to have a talk with my husband and

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Speaker 1: co wife about it, and they're optimistic and incited. Final

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Speaker 1: update husband and co wife know. Sorry didn't reply to everyone,

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Speaker 1: but I promised to read everyone's posts. Although there have

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Speaker 1: been some up and downs, overall, things are good and

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Speaker 1: my husband and co wife are happy for me. Happy endings, dude,

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Speaker 1: it worked out there.

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Speaker 3: We go