WEBVTT - Minisode: Sit Your Ass at Home with Sam Jay and Yanise Monét

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Couples Counseling with Chelsea hand Job. I'm here

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<v Speaker 1>with my friends. Yeah yeah and.

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<v Speaker 2>Sam okay, welcome back, yeah yeah and Sam yeah yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay.

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<v Speaker 2>So you want to spend more time on the road

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<v Speaker 2>because you want to get back to your creative roots.

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<v Speaker 1>Tell me more about that, because I can relate to

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<v Speaker 1>that very much.

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<v Speaker 3>I just need to be doing comedy for me and

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<v Speaker 3>I need to be by myself with this for a

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<v Speaker 3>little while.

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<v Speaker 4>I've gone through some stuff, I've lost some people.

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<v Speaker 3>I've just been in a bit of a tumultuous space

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<v Speaker 3>and I kind of just needed some space to reconnect

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<v Speaker 3>with it for me and just realign myself, realign the

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<v Speaker 3>reasons why I'm doing it, realign my goals, realign what

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<v Speaker 3>I want out of it. You know that kind of

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<v Speaker 3>requires personal time, and that's hard to do when you

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<v Speaker 3>have your partner on the road. It just you know

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<v Speaker 3>that that requires another piece of yourself to be attentive

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<v Speaker 3>and be caring, and I just don't want to, at

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<v Speaker 3>least when it comes to comedy. I don't want to

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<v Speaker 3>have to consider anybody else in this space for a while.

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<v Speaker 2>Mm hmm. That's very well put. I mean I can

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<v Speaker 2>relate to that. How does that make you feel?

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<v Speaker 5>I'm okay with it because I respect her as an artist,

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<v Speaker 5>So whatever she needs from me as a partner, I'm

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<v Speaker 5>able to try to accommodate and do for her. When

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<v Speaker 5>we were on the road together through the first Special,

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<v Speaker 5>which was great, but it was just like I understood

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<v Speaker 5>where she was at the time, so it was good

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<v Speaker 5>to be on the road with her and help her

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<v Speaker 5>develop that. And now she's in a space creatively where

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<v Speaker 5>she needs to be isolated and get back to the

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<v Speaker 5>grind of it. So I just have to respect that

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<v Speaker 5>because she's an artist. So who am I to be like, no, bitch,

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<v Speaker 5>I'm coming.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, a lot of people would be like that. A

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<v Speaker 2>lot of people who aren't don't understand that.

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<v Speaker 5>No, I mean I understand it, and I respect her

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<v Speaker 5>more than an artist. I respect her as a person.

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<v Speaker 5>So if my person is telling me this is what

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<v Speaker 5>she needs, who am I to be like, no, bitch,

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<v Speaker 5>I'm coming anyway?

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<v Speaker 1>Like I'm not.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm not going to do that.

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<v Speaker 5>And plus I don't work, so that's what she needs

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<v Speaker 5>to do to get the money, girl, go outside to

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<v Speaker 5>go get it. So I'm gonna sit my ass tell

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<v Speaker 5>Me says.

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<v Speaker 6>This week we're looking for questions from writers. Are you

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<v Speaker 6>an author or an aspiring writer, or maybe you're a

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<v Speaker 6>different kind of artist and have questions about the creative

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<v Speaker 6>process or inspiration or motivation right into Dear Chelsea podcast

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<v Speaker 6>at gmail dot com.

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<v Speaker 2>When your most recent special came out on Max, how

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<v Speaker 2>did that affect you? The success of that or being

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<v Speaker 2>recognized more, and how did it affect both of you?

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, it was like a little two fold thing.

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<v Speaker 3>Like it definitely was like, Okay, I'm getting recognized more.

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<v Speaker 3>There's this reception, but then there's also this piece of

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<v Speaker 3>view this it's never fully what you want, I guess,

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<v Speaker 3>or at least I haven't hit whatever that is career

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<v Speaker 3>rise where I'm like, yeah, this is how I wanted it,

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<v Speaker 3>this is how I thought it was going to be,

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<v Speaker 3>you know. So there's parts of it that was just

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<v Speaker 3>wildly frustrating still and I think a lot of it

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<v Speaker 3>too is I'm two specials in now, so it's also

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<v Speaker 3>just like all right, what's next? You know, like these

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<v Speaker 3>kind of goals are being knocked off, and I don't

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<v Speaker 3>think because I was just running and running and running,

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<v Speaker 3>I don't think I spent any time trying to figure

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<v Speaker 3>out really what I wanted next, Like I haven't done

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<v Speaker 3>a five year plan and years, you know, I haven't

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<v Speaker 3>really sat down and just assessed.

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<v Speaker 4>Goals in a long time.

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<v Speaker 3>I've just been doing the thing and doing the thing

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<v Speaker 3>and doing the thing, and things have kind of just

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<v Speaker 3>been happening. So I think it's also in a space

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<v Speaker 3>where as much as I like all that shit, it

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<v Speaker 3>feels like this there's stuff coming to me, but I'm

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<v Speaker 3>not even sure if it's things that I want or

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<v Speaker 3>I'm just doing them because there are things that are coming.

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<v Speaker 3>And so that's another piece that I got to get

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<v Speaker 3>a handle back on, like what do you want right now?

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<v Speaker 4>Like what are you trying to actually achieve?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm interested to see how you view that. What

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<v Speaker 2>do you think about watching her go through that.

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<v Speaker 5>I can't lie In the beginning, it was difficult to

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<v Speaker 5>see her now, I don't want to say struggling with it,

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<v Speaker 5>but going through about where she was at a place

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<v Speaker 5>where she was just trying to figure it out again,

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<v Speaker 5>because she's always so strong and always so headstrongly, she knows,

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<v Speaker 5>she always knows what direction she wants to go to,

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<v Speaker 5>So to see her be a little down and confused,

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<v Speaker 5>especially after losing her best friend and stuff like that.

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<v Speaker 5>It just was it was hard for me to see

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<v Speaker 5>her go through it, But I just want to support

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<v Speaker 5>in the best way that I can.

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<v Speaker 2>You sound very therapized, Yeah, y'all in a good way. Oh,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm very thoughtful. Everything you say is like you've spoken

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<v Speaker 2>to someone else about it almost.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, yeah, we speak to our therapist and we also

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<v Speaker 1>speak to each other. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 5>I think that that's the biggest thing, is just trying

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<v Speaker 5>to because I'm not the best communicator, so especially when

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<v Speaker 5>it comes with Sam and she's so she's such a good.

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<v Speaker 4>Communicator because that's just what she does.

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<v Speaker 5>So I think that with her, it's just like trying

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<v Speaker 5>to empathize and show her like I hear what she's saying,

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<v Speaker 5>or I'm trying to hear her knees in the same

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<v Speaker 5>way she can reciprocate it to me.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think it's a struggle for a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>people when they get success that you've wanted for so

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<v Speaker 2>long and you get it plus with the other things

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<v Speaker 2>that are happening in your life, obviously that has a

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<v Speaker 2>major impact. And even without that, it's an adjustment right,

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<v Speaker 2>like to become what you wanted to be. And then

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<v Speaker 2>like I was watching Jlo's recent documentary it's called The

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<v Speaker 2>Greatest Love Story Never.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you watched that.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah I did.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm interested in what j Loo is up to. Always

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<v Speaker 2>it was what you think it was. Okay, I wouldn't

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<v Speaker 2>say watch it, but I had to see what you

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<v Speaker 2>want to know you to see it in that it

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<v Speaker 2>is revealed, not that we didn't know this about j Loo,

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<v Speaker 2>because we could have drawn our own conclusion or conjecture

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<v Speaker 2>based on her behavior alone. She there's an insatiableness to her.

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<v Speaker 2>She will never be stated, it will never be enough,

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<v Speaker 2>there will never be success, a movie big enough, an

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<v Speaker 2>award big enough, an Oscar. It's just and even Ben

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<v Speaker 2>Affleck in the movie says she'll never be satisfied. And

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<v Speaker 2>I always like, I remember when Gerrod Carmichael kind of

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<v Speaker 2>started to get really recognized and he had an issue

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<v Speaker 2>with it, like you know, he in away for a

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<v Speaker 2>while to be away from it.

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<v Speaker 1>Happened to Dave Chappelle, it happens to a lot of comics.

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<v Speaker 2>And it's interesting to talk about, I think, because it's like,

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<v Speaker 2>what is it?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, and when will it be not for any

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<v Speaker 1>of us?

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah? Yeah? And what does enough look like?

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<v Speaker 3>You know?

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<v Speaker 4>And at least what you what do you want?

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<v Speaker 3>You know?

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<v Speaker 4>I think that's really what it is. It's like what

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<v Speaker 4>do I want?

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<v Speaker 3>And then also just being confronted with this level of

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<v Speaker 3>glass ceiling and this level of like, you know, Okay,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm achieving all these things on this level, but I'm

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<v Speaker 3>starting to understand that as a black lesbian there's just

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<v Speaker 3>some shit that's in the way, you know what I mean,

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<v Speaker 3>And like also how to navigate that and still chase

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<v Speaker 3>this thing, you know what I mean, Like just trying

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<v Speaker 3>to find all those those good balances and pieces of

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<v Speaker 3>mind for myself so that when I step into this shit,

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<v Speaker 3>like I got the right fucking mental.

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<v Speaker 1>Headspace, that you're in the right headspace.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah yeah, but it's not easy.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, I think she's being very like, uh generous

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<v Speaker 3>with herself in this moment because I know for sure

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<v Speaker 3>that like something it hurts her sometimes and not be

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<v Speaker 3>able to be with me, and like I went and

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<v Speaker 3>did the roast on my own, and I was like,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, I just need space to just go do

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<v Speaker 3>what the stuff is. I gotta do, and I know

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<v Speaker 3>for her that was hard to not be there for

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<v Speaker 3>a moment, you know what I mean, and not be

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<v Speaker 3>able to share in that moment and be present. So

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<v Speaker 3>it's not like in that She's not like sacrificing something.

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<v Speaker 4>I guess.

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<v Speaker 2>No, I mean it sounds like you have really good

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<v Speaker 2>communication like I wouldn't even sometimes.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean, that's pretty awesome. Just came from therapy.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I know I should have all of our have

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<v Speaker 2>all of our couple of counseling just come from their

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<v Speaker 2>real therapists.

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<v Speaker 4>Does par in.

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<v Speaker 1>Better shape than the counselor which is me? No, you're

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<v Speaker 1>a great therapy. I'm not do giving therapy. I'm just

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<v Speaker 1>letting you.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to hear what your issues and dynamics are

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<v Speaker 2>because everybody who listens, we have such a variety of listeners,

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<v Speaker 2>and like everybody likes to hear other people's stories. I

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<v Speaker 2>know when I hear something that sounds similar to something

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<v Speaker 2>I went through, I'm always like, oh, okay, okay, that's

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<v Speaker 2>not uncommon.

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<v Speaker 1>It's kind of like you know, when you get advice.

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<v Speaker 2>I hate this quality about myself, but I do it

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<v Speaker 2>all the time when I especially with men, Like I'm

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<v Speaker 2>like oh, I show them to a bunch of different

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<v Speaker 2>people to get everyone's reaction, you know, and if everyone's

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<v Speaker 2>into it, then I'm into it.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>And if they're kind of grossed out by him, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>grossed out by him. And that's really not the kind

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<v Speaker 2>of personality. I'm not a follower in that way. I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>it's like when you go around and you ask somebody

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<v Speaker 2>their advice on your problem, and you keep getting different advice,

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<v Speaker 2>and then your advice just changes to whatever the last

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<v Speaker 2>fucking thing you heard was, and then you're like, who

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<v Speaker 2>the fuck am I?

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<v Speaker 1>Like, what do I even think? So I just I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>It falls into that category of kind of philosophizing for me.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm sure you've seen a lot of your friends go

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<v Speaker 2>through the same thing. And it's not necessarily the fame aspect.

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<v Speaker 2>It's success.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, yeah, some of this is like in business

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<v Speaker 3>and all different types of walks of life and work.

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<v Speaker 3>It's just success in managing it and managing yourself within it,

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<v Speaker 3>you know what I mean. Growing up too, I'm a

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<v Speaker 3>whole different person than when I started, you know, with

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<v Speaker 3>a whole different mind, So you know that's also a

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<v Speaker 3>part of it.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you have a big brain. I like it. I

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<v Speaker 1>thank you a big brain.

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<v Speaker 4>Thank you.

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<v Speaker 2>It's nice to talk to people who are fucking intelligent.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean it's like I got stoned on my way

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<v Speaker 2>here because I knew I was gonna have to deal

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<v Speaker 2>with this annoying driver.

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<v Speaker 1>My driver had a situation.

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<v Speaker 2>And I was like, oh, I better get stone just

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<v Speaker 2>in order to deal with someone that I don't know,

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm going to be in a close space with them,

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<v Speaker 2>Like I have to set the tone so that I'm

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<v Speaker 2>in a more playful mood because my natural disposition is

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<v Speaker 2>like any time of the car is my alone time.

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<v Speaker 4>Like I don't like that too, So I don't. So

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<v Speaker 4>this is what I don't understand, Chelsea.

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<v Speaker 3>You always come at me like I'm some type of crudgeon,

0:09:36.280 --> 0:09:38.520
<v Speaker 3>but I feel like we're very much the same.

0:09:39.120 --> 0:09:42.320
<v Speaker 2>Well, I'm a little bouncier than you are.

0:09:42.600 --> 0:09:43.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm bouncing around.

0:09:44.360 --> 0:09:46.880
<v Speaker 2>You're kind of like you walk into a room and

0:09:46.880 --> 0:09:48.080
<v Speaker 2>it's like you don't know which way.

0:09:47.920 --> 0:09:50.240
<v Speaker 1>It's gonna go if you're not if you don't know you,

0:09:50.600 --> 0:09:53.520
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what everyone to have like like you

0:09:53.600 --> 0:09:55.800
<v Speaker 1>do have. It's a less playful energy.

0:09:55.920 --> 0:09:58.120
<v Speaker 5>But I'm not keep telling people that she's not I

0:09:58.160 --> 0:09:59.959
<v Speaker 5>have to warn people like, no, she's nice, she's cool,

0:10:00.120 --> 0:10:03.040
<v Speaker 5>she's not mad, like people think she's mad on set people, I.

0:10:03.040 --> 0:10:05.520
<v Speaker 3>Find that, So you know what it is? People are

0:10:05.559 --> 0:10:07.200
<v Speaker 3>so goddamn needy.

0:10:07.840 --> 0:10:08.240
<v Speaker 1>I agree.

0:10:08.280 --> 0:10:11.920
<v Speaker 3>People are so goddamn needy that if you walk in

0:10:11.960 --> 0:10:15.880
<v Speaker 3>a room and you're just chilling, it's like they require energy,

0:10:16.480 --> 0:10:19.640
<v Speaker 3>and it's like, ny, why I'm not doing anything but

0:10:19.720 --> 0:10:22.600
<v Speaker 3>sitting down. I'm just chilling, I'm seeing what's coming, I'm

0:10:22.600 --> 0:10:25.360
<v Speaker 3>hanging out. If it turns into a good conversation about this,

0:10:25.480 --> 0:10:25.800
<v Speaker 3>I'm in.

0:10:26.440 --> 0:10:27.000
<v Speaker 4>I'm down.

0:10:27.120 --> 0:10:30.520
<v Speaker 3>But it's like this need people have to be affirmed

0:10:31.120 --> 0:10:34.720
<v Speaker 3>by other people and immediately to be able to sit

0:10:34.760 --> 0:10:38.120
<v Speaker 3>in a fucking space. I just I swear I've never

0:10:38.160 --> 0:10:40.840
<v Speaker 3>been that way. I've never given the fuck about house

0:10:40.880 --> 0:10:42.840
<v Speaker 3>when I entered the room, I've never even thought about

0:10:42.880 --> 0:10:48.280
<v Speaker 3>like how unless enter unless it was like actually hostility,

0:10:48.440 --> 0:10:49.719
<v Speaker 3>like who want to fight?

0:10:49.760 --> 0:10:54.120
<v Speaker 4>Then I'm like, whoa bro? Bro? Why is he? Why

0:10:54.240 --> 0:10:56.120
<v Speaker 4>is he on that time? But like other than that,

0:10:57.000 --> 0:10:58.160
<v Speaker 4>it's just so weird to me.

0:10:59.120 --> 0:11:02.160
<v Speaker 2>Well, that's as perfect time to say goodbye to Sam

0:11:02.160 --> 0:11:04.240
<v Speaker 2>and yahya for a minute, because I don't want you

0:11:04.320 --> 0:11:06.400
<v Speaker 2>to leave until we come back and talk about your

0:11:06.440 --> 0:11:09.719
<v Speaker 2>finances and how you relate to each other on that end.

0:11:10.040 --> 0:11:12.239
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so we can end on a lighter note.

0:11:13.120 --> 0:11:16.400
<v Speaker 4>The therapy note. Another may be no.

0:11:17.679 --> 0:11:20.199
<v Speaker 2>You can check out Sam Jay who is on tour

0:11:20.360 --> 0:11:23.080
<v Speaker 2>now in cities all over the country and she's fucking funny.

0:11:23.559 --> 0:11:25.440
<v Speaker 2>If you haven't seen her on The Roast or on

0:11:25.440 --> 0:11:28.480
<v Speaker 2>her own special, then go watch both of those her

0:11:28.520 --> 0:11:31.160
<v Speaker 2>specials on HBO Max now known as Max. And then

0:11:31.200 --> 0:11:35.600
<v Speaker 2>you can follow Yahya at Vanity dot Vixen on Instagram

0:11:35.679 --> 0:11:38.400
<v Speaker 2>and TikTok and it is worth the follow because she's

0:11:38.520 --> 0:11:41.800
<v Speaker 2>up to some well shenanigans. I mean, you'll understand what

0:11:41.840 --> 0:11:42.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm talking about.