1 00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:03,640 Speaker 1: Ridiculous Crime is a production of My Heart Radio Saren 2 00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:07,720 Speaker 1: you know it's ridiculous, Elizabeth, I do. Did you know 3 00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:11,520 Speaker 1: that Czarist Russia was on a totally different calendar than 4 00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:13,280 Speaker 1: the rest of the world. They were still on the 5 00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:17,320 Speaker 1: old Julian calendar. Interesting, I thought, because of Czar being Caesar. 6 00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:19,440 Speaker 1: So they're like, yeah, give it up on that calendar. 7 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:22,520 Speaker 1: And then they had a little problem because in the 8 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:26,720 Speaker 1: nine Olympics they showed up twelve days late. They're like oops. 9 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:30,440 Speaker 1: So then luckily the Communist Revolution came along about ten 10 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:32,639 Speaker 1: eleven years later, and then boom, the Bolsheviks were like, yo, 11 00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:34,240 Speaker 1: come on, man, they got it right back on the 12 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:37,680 Speaker 1: right back, added them to the Gregorian calendar, and they 13 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:41,519 Speaker 1: became the modern state of the Soviet Union. That's beautiful, right, 14 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:46,280 Speaker 1: ridiculous to show up late, but twelve days like a 15 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:50,479 Speaker 1: little bit that that's not fashionably late. So they were 16 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:52,600 Speaker 1: just completely in their own world, twelve days behind the 17 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:55,680 Speaker 1: rest of the world. Good for them, I might do that. 18 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:59,360 Speaker 1: I was, I'm gonna go back to the Julian calendar. Yeah, 19 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:00,800 Speaker 1: I was like, how can I be twelve days late 20 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:03,120 Speaker 1: on the rest of the world. Easy, just do it. 21 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:09,320 Speaker 1: I'm already like, what nine days? So that's that's ridiculous. Uh. 22 00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:13,959 Speaker 1: Something else that's ridiculous is going from importing knickknacks and 23 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:20,520 Speaker 1: crafting supplies to smuggling ill gotten Mesopotamian artifacts. He said, 24 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:25,000 Speaker 1: Mesopotamian artifacts. Explanation of that, I got it for you. 25 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 1: This is ridiculous crime A podcast about absurd and outrageous capers, 26 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:57,800 Speaker 1: heists and cons It is always murder free and one ridiculous, 27 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,840 Speaker 1: so Zarin, what are your hobbies? Like? Give me your 28 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:06,960 Speaker 1: top five hobbies? Top five hobbies? Um, well, I've got 29 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:12,200 Speaker 1: that feud with gravity on um, fantasy football, mountain biking, 30 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:18,520 Speaker 1: let's see probably coming up, and names for Canadians, and lastly, 31 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:22,360 Speaker 1: theoretical physics. And you're not you're not joking when you 32 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,440 Speaker 1: say that. No, no, those are all real, even my 33 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:30,040 Speaker 1: nicknames for Canadians. Those are good, uh, good hobbies, thank you. 34 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:33,200 Speaker 1: I like to keep busy. So the physics thing, like, 35 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:38,040 Speaker 1: where what do you do? What do I do? I 36 00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:40,280 Speaker 1: read a lot of stuff online. I watch a lot 37 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:43,480 Speaker 1: of videos for like the m I T. Like right 38 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:47,000 Speaker 1: now I'm watching the whole theoretical physics class on M 39 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:50,239 Speaker 1: I T S Like open Course catalog, So like I'm 40 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:54,440 Speaker 1: like on lecture eleven of the of the semester. So 41 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:56,760 Speaker 1: then I just basically go to m I t online 42 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:58,400 Speaker 1: and watch their stuff and then I go and I 43 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:00,920 Speaker 1: do the math, and I would figure out the Lagrangian, 44 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,800 Speaker 1: you know, and I figure out the Hamiltonians. I do 45 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:05,160 Speaker 1: all the stuff that they're doing, and then I just 46 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:08,080 Speaker 1: have to like occasionally check in online about how to 47 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:11,000 Speaker 1: do it. So it's a lot of me basically checking 48 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:14,720 Speaker 1: math against me watching videos. So yeah, and computation, lots 49 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:17,200 Speaker 1: of computations and lots of little drawings because I do 50 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:20,160 Speaker 1: math through drawings because of like pie being you know, 51 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:22,000 Speaker 1: part of a circle, so I use lots of circles 52 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:25,360 Speaker 1: to math. I do math by just not doing it. Ah, 53 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:27,400 Speaker 1: that's another good way. It's the faster, more efficient way. 54 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:30,919 Speaker 1: Mathematicians would appreciate that I failed calculus twice in college. 55 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:34,240 Speaker 1: I never took it. I've taught myself all the calculus. 56 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 1: I'm now about to like linear geometry. Wow, well whatever, 57 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:44,040 Speaker 1: that's wow worthy. My hobbies are kind of lane compared 58 00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:48,960 Speaker 1: to you know, insulting Canadians who said insulting Some of 59 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,200 Speaker 1: them are on terrifics. You don't know that their insults. 60 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:54,360 Speaker 1: Do you call, like Canadians the Great White North? Do 61 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:57,480 Speaker 1: you call double denim the Canadian tuxedo? Yes? I do. Yeah, 62 00:03:57,560 --> 00:04:00,000 Speaker 1: like that. I like that better than the Tennessee tuxedo. 63 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:04,200 Speaker 1: I don't think they've they've earned that right. Oh yeah, 64 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:05,640 Speaker 1: A lot of the double denim they have, like the 65 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:08,800 Speaker 1: literation of Tennessee tuxeed over carry Seriously, you'll hear people 66 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:11,760 Speaker 1: use that. Good. No, I'm gonna add that to my 67 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:22,520 Speaker 1: repertoire or Alberta frmalware. Oh dear preemptively apologized to Canadians. 68 00:04:22,839 --> 00:04:25,560 Speaker 1: Canada feels my love. Well, so let's go back to hobbies, 69 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:28,520 Speaker 1: all right, Yes, your hobbies. By the way, I liked 70 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:34,159 Speaker 1: garden huh. I like baking. I used to make soap 71 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:39,200 Speaker 1: and bath bombs. Yeah, like lie and all that. Um 72 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:42,719 Speaker 1: I've just gotten into paint by numbers. How you like that? 73 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:47,520 Speaker 1: Um My eyes don't like it because it's so tiny. Yeah, 74 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:50,520 Speaker 1: but I'm into it. When he says paint by numbers, 75 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:54,839 Speaker 1: it literally numbers. Yeah, it's literally numbers, but they're very small. Yeah. 76 00:04:54,839 --> 00:04:56,600 Speaker 1: I did to get the magnifying glass. Oh that's a 77 00:04:56,640 --> 00:05:00,480 Speaker 1: sevent team. Yeah, and then I squint and then my 78 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:05,600 Speaker 1: head hurts. I also like felting. What is felt? Another one? 79 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:11,920 Speaker 1: It's where you felt to make. Yeah. Yeah, you get 80 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:14,719 Speaker 1: like a big puff of felt, and then you get 81 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:19,400 Speaker 1: these insanely sharp needles that some of us poke ourselves 82 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:27,120 Speaker 1: with by accident on accident, accidentally. But yeah, you can 83 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:29,920 Speaker 1: combine it with soap making and make like felt coverings 84 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:33,599 Speaker 1: for soaps a little scrubber, like doing like a whole 85 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:37,880 Speaker 1: the little industry while I'm just making paper and completely. Yeah, 86 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:41,279 Speaker 1: it's like side hustles that don't go anywhere. Although I 87 00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:44,560 Speaker 1: made a cat out of felt for my nephew so 88 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:47,279 Speaker 1: that his little firefighter toys could rescue the cat in 89 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:50,080 Speaker 1: the tree. But he always says the cat's on fire. 90 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:55,440 Speaker 1: He saved the cat by putting the fire. Sure, but 91 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:58,120 Speaker 1: I gotta felt some fire on the cat. Now, got 92 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:01,120 Speaker 1: to make it accurate. Your commitment to the bid though, 93 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:05,360 Speaker 1: So like, well, you have these hobbies that are really 94 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:09,320 Speaker 1: high level. Uh, the rest of us who have hobbies 95 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:12,880 Speaker 1: got to find like a supply store for those you 96 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:18,200 Speaker 1: like Michael's. Yeah, completely, and so like my supplies, I 97 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:22,039 Speaker 1: get them like a you know, craft stores. Um, Michael's 98 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,400 Speaker 1: is the big dog of arts and craft stories. I 99 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:26,800 Speaker 1: was just there. I was really hard not to spend 100 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:29,520 Speaker 1: like hundreds of dollars. And I'm not even a craft person, like, 101 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:31,520 Speaker 1: but I like the stuff. I like to do stuff, 102 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:33,640 Speaker 1: and you walk in. I can't imagine if you actually 103 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:35,400 Speaker 1: are a craft person, that you walk out of there 104 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 1: with any of your page good stuff up in there. Ridiculous. 105 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:43,240 Speaker 1: So the other big national chain Hobby Lobby. Yes, I've 106 00:06:43,279 --> 00:06:44,680 Speaker 1: heard of this one. I haven't actually been to that 107 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:47,080 Speaker 1: one though, I've not seen any, and I know they're 108 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:49,400 Speaker 1: all over the country. I saw him a lot in 109 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:52,360 Speaker 1: the South. Yeah, when traveling I see them. Yeah. And 110 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:56,680 Speaker 1: so Michael's has like locations. Like I said, they're the 111 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:59,039 Speaker 1: big dog. Damn. I don't forget that how much people 112 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:01,360 Speaker 1: they love craft and you've got to supply that. So 113 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:03,600 Speaker 1: you're not going to get everything online even because you 114 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:06,680 Speaker 1: want to see some might see the material exactly. Hobby 115 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:10,000 Speaker 1: Lobby has got nine stores, so you know it's good. 116 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:13,520 Speaker 1: And so you know, you may have heard of Hobby 117 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:16,520 Speaker 1: Lobby aside from like, even if you've never been inside one, 118 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:19,600 Speaker 1: because they kind of court controversy some Christian stuff. I 119 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:25,840 Speaker 1: remember they don't. They don't didn't want to give access 120 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 1: to birth control to their employees after it was mandated 121 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:32,239 Speaker 1: by the Affordable Care Act, just like christ wouldn't sure. 122 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:37,400 Speaker 1: And then um, they also like they sell aside from 123 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,400 Speaker 1: like crafts and stuff, there's a lot of like home 124 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:42,920 Speaker 1: decor things at hobby lobby, candlesticks and stuff like, yeah, 125 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 1: candlesticks and like the jeweled picture frames. Yeah, you know, 126 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:50,080 Speaker 1: I wonder where those were sold. And then holiday decorations. 127 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:53,000 Speaker 1: Oh of course. You know your your goose that you 128 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,520 Speaker 1: put at the front steps, that you dress in different 129 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:59,160 Speaker 1: seasonal costumes. Oh yeah, there's like soft sandy little geese, yea, yeah, 130 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:02,360 Speaker 1: whatever kind want to kind of to get one. The 131 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:05,800 Speaker 1: bags of pine cones, scented pine cones, totally sented pline 132 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:08,800 Speaker 1: cones are like have you ever seen the Christmas brooms 133 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:13,560 Speaker 1: that smell like cinnamon? And or is that just me 134 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:18,720 Speaker 1: that so? Uh? They said they sell all these like 135 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:23,640 Speaker 1: holiday decorations. But in two thousand thirteen, a shopper was like, Um, 136 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:26,200 Speaker 1: I'm looking for some stuff for Hanukah. Where can I 137 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:29,760 Speaker 1: find that? And the person in the store said, yeah, 138 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,320 Speaker 1: we don't care. This is a quote we don't cater 139 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:39,840 Speaker 1: to you people. Damn. Yeah. So someone who's Jewish, they say, 140 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:44,480 Speaker 1: we don't cater to you people. Mm, bad move. Um. 141 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:49,679 Speaker 1: They also have trans bathroom issues. I imagine if you're 142 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:52,520 Speaker 1: saying people, yeah, yeah, and they're like, you know, no 143 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:56,800 Speaker 1: birth control, they don't really care about bodies. Um. But 144 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:59,720 Speaker 1: what's interesting is that it came up because there was 145 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:02,040 Speaker 1: an employee of Hobby Lava who had worked there for 146 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:06,720 Speaker 1: twenty two years and they transitioned and they were refused 147 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:10,599 Speaker 1: access to the women's bathroom. So yeah, like it's this 148 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:16,200 Speaker 1: loyal employee twenty two years trying to like make sure 149 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:19,440 Speaker 1: that all the displays are in order and you know, 150 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:23,400 Speaker 1: taking your migraine medicine so that the cinnamon scented brooms 151 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:26,679 Speaker 1: don't send you with the edge. But also that manager 152 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:29,280 Speaker 1: had most likely worked with them for I presume a 153 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:32,080 Speaker 1: few years, so they suddenly decided like, oh now I'm 154 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:35,040 Speaker 1: going to be more of a Yeah. I don't know. 155 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:37,480 Speaker 1: That was just there's there's a certain cruelty to that 156 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:40,720 Speaker 1: that really hurt me to read. Um. And you know, 157 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,920 Speaker 1: they do like a lot of the whole anti lgbt 158 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:47,559 Speaker 1: Q of sending. They got a whole quiver of hate. 159 00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:50,400 Speaker 1: They wouldn't close at the start of the COVID nineteen 160 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:55,320 Speaker 1: pandemic because they said they were in essential service. Now, 161 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:59,640 Speaker 1: as someone who lives to craft, and you know during 162 00:09:59,679 --> 00:10:02,839 Speaker 1: the the lockdown, you have to find stuff to do, 163 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:07,960 Speaker 1: but like, is it really essential? Yeah, and again I 164 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:10,040 Speaker 1: go back to the employees. That's a little bit dangerous 165 00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:15,199 Speaker 1: for them. So, um, lots of bad action coming out 166 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,320 Speaker 1: of hobby lobby. Right, Yeah, you can see why they're 167 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:19,600 Speaker 1: number two. But here's the ridiculous thing. I want to 168 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:26,880 Speaker 1: talk about antiquities, specifically a case that's called United States 169 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:32,319 Speaker 1: of America versus approximately four hundred fifty ancient cuneiform tablets 170 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:37,199 Speaker 1: and approximately three thousand ancient clay bully. Now what I'm 171 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,760 Speaker 1: not talking about bullies the brute, you know, I want 172 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:43,280 Speaker 1: to know what kind of lawyer approximately fo ancient uneyform 173 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:50,680 Speaker 1: tablets can afford? Are they representation? It's like against the US. 174 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:52,840 Speaker 1: What happens is they get it's a it was a 175 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:55,440 Speaker 1: civil case, but if we pretend it's a criminal charge, 176 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:58,480 Speaker 1: do you put them in a giant cell that they 177 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:01,280 Speaker 1: have to split up? O Bondsman's like, I'm not getting 178 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:04,120 Speaker 1: anything for this. I'm not writing the paper on y'all. Yeah, 179 00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:07,000 Speaker 1: this is. But when I say bully, ancient clay bully, 180 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:11,480 Speaker 1: I'm not talking about roots. I'm not talking about bully, 181 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:15,199 Speaker 1: the type of liquid filled blister people can get. I'm 182 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:19,839 Speaker 1: talking about the Teddy Roosevelt exclamation bullet. Yeah bully that Yeah, No, 183 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:23,000 Speaker 1: you know what I'm talking I'm talking the seals on 184 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:26,080 Speaker 1: ancient documents. Oh of course, I don't know why I 185 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:31,400 Speaker 1: didn't say that tongue. Alright, So I want to take 186 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:44,800 Speaker 1: you back to b C. Babylon. No, no, no, not 187 00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:49,200 Speaker 1: the oppressive, corrupt, racial colonial world referred to and reggae. 188 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:56,680 Speaker 1: No down pressors for Ross Trent here people. Now, I'm 189 00:11:56,679 --> 00:12:01,480 Speaker 1: sorry the Ross Trent well, you know at cold Stone Creamery. Yea, 190 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:05,400 Speaker 1: in my head, that's the problem with Ross Trent. If 191 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:07,840 Speaker 1: you listen to the song, you are cursed with like 192 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:09,840 Speaker 1: at least two weeks of the song running through your 193 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:15,480 Speaker 1: head between now and now. We've done it. Now we're 194 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:20,119 Speaker 1: both going to be Now, what I'm talking about is Babylon, 195 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:29,640 Speaker 1: the ancient mega city located just south of present Baghdad, Iraq. Oh, 196 00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:33,600 Speaker 1: you know I'm talking about Babylon Babylon. Yeah, give it up. 197 00:12:33,679 --> 00:12:37,600 Speaker 1: So I want you to imagine this, use your creative mind, 198 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:42,040 Speaker 1: your mathematical, beautiful mind, and imagine this. So there's this 199 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:48,240 Speaker 1: priest slash wise man, and his name is sin Leaky Nooni, 200 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:53,880 Speaker 1: and he's staring out his name means moon God by 201 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:57,280 Speaker 1: the way, really dope name. Right. He's staring out at 202 00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:01,559 Speaker 1: the Euphrates River from this windows in a large my 203 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:05,719 Speaker 1: brick building, saying it's resplendent with I don't know what 204 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:10,920 Speaker 1: decorated with. It's with the wooden rooms that smell like. 205 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:17,880 Speaker 1: And so he's seeing like boats carrying passengers and goods 206 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:25,360 Speaker 1: and carrying fish, and Sin as we'll call him. He 207 00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:28,120 Speaker 1: looks down at some tablets at his feet, and he 208 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:33,079 Speaker 1: sees the boxy scrawl of cuneiform texts lining the tablets. 209 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:37,600 Speaker 1: It's a busy looking piece of clay down there. He's 210 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:43,839 Speaker 1: just finished compiling the Epic of Gilgamesh, and that is 211 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:47,200 Speaker 1: known as one of it's like the oldest, if not 212 00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:53,240 Speaker 1: one of the oldest known literary work right now. Um, 213 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:56,959 Speaker 1: And it's the second oldest religious text around. It's second 214 00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:00,840 Speaker 1: only to the ancient Egyptian funery texts. Wow. So it's 215 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:03,600 Speaker 1: older than the Tibetan Book of the Dead and those ye, 216 00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:08,640 Speaker 1: and it is older than dirt. So what he's done, 217 00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:12,200 Speaker 1: Like he the Gilgamesh story had been around for centuries, 218 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:15,840 Speaker 1: and he's kind of remixed it and his version. Oh 219 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:18,680 Speaker 1: he's not the original writer of it. He's just doing 220 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:22,280 Speaker 1: a remix, right, And see the Gilgamesh is a fictional 221 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:24,400 Speaker 1: character in the epic, but he's based on a real 222 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:29,840 Speaker 1: king and anyway, so he's kind of taken. This version 223 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:33,040 Speaker 1: that I'm talking about is the one that most modern 224 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:36,280 Speaker 1: day translations are based upon. That's the most complete first 225 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:39,640 Speaker 1: that we have. So one of those tablets at his 226 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:43,880 Speaker 1: feet contains the section in the epic in which Gilgamesh 227 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:48,600 Speaker 1: tells his mom about a dream that he had. M cool, right, 228 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:51,280 Speaker 1: I'm into that. Dude tells his mom about his dream. 229 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:54,560 Speaker 1: So he's the you know, he's this king, he is 230 00:14:54,600 --> 00:15:00,240 Speaker 1: a demigod. He's like wicked strong, and uh, he's also 231 00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:04,360 Speaker 1: this total jerk, like he's Hella cruel to everybody, just 232 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:10,120 Speaker 1: does terrible things and um really disrespects his people. Whatever. 233 00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:14,720 Speaker 1: But on this tablet, the part of it, Um Gilgamesh 234 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:17,560 Speaker 1: has these wild dreams and he asked his mom what 235 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,160 Speaker 1: they mean, and one of his dreams is about a 236 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:23,480 Speaker 1: meteor and she's like, oh, you know what that means 237 00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:27,080 Speaker 1: is you're going to have a new friend. A mother. 238 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:30,240 Speaker 1: You're gonna get another little friend for you, honey. They're 239 00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:34,240 Speaker 1: just jealous of how funny and cool you are. Yeah, 240 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:36,480 Speaker 1: you're going to get a new friend, a meteor friend. 241 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:41,480 Speaker 1: He's gonna be as strong as a sky rock. Um 242 00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:43,600 Speaker 1: and so and you guys are you guys are gonna 243 00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:48,000 Speaker 1: brow down? She's just like it's gonna be okay. So 244 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:51,120 Speaker 1: at the same time, he's hearing about this this guy 245 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:56,240 Speaker 1: and key Do, who's a beast man. He's covered in hair, 246 00:15:56,960 --> 00:16:00,440 Speaker 1: ready to party, living in the woods. Take a friend 247 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:02,800 Speaker 1: of mine, go on. Gilgamesh is like, I gotta fight 248 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:08,400 Speaker 1: this guy. And Keith is like, I gotta fight another 249 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:11,880 Speaker 1: partying in his first If you're a big burly guy 250 00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:14,960 Speaker 1: and you hear about another big burly guy, take that 251 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:18,360 Speaker 1: Guy'm gonna just really tune this gentleman up. I wasn't 252 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:21,520 Speaker 1: thinking about that. And the beast man he hears about 253 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:24,240 Speaker 1: this unruly king. He's I gotta go, I gotta go 254 00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:27,560 Speaker 1: smack some sense into that fella. I gotta fight him. 255 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:34,640 Speaker 1: So they want to fight beast Man, scary, unpredictable, Gilgamesh scary, unpredictable. 256 00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:38,160 Speaker 1: But so he hears about this beast man, and Gilgamesh 257 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:40,000 Speaker 1: is like, I know what I gotta do. I gotta 258 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:43,480 Speaker 1: send a sacred prostitute out there, as one does. I mean, 259 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:45,480 Speaker 1: I can't say how many times I've been like in 260 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:50,080 Speaker 1: a really heated beef and I'm like, a sacred prostitute. 261 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:53,240 Speaker 1: This would be over. That is my go to problem solver. 262 00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:58,840 Speaker 1: And so he gets Shamhat, but he did, and that's 263 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:05,679 Speaker 1: her name, it's his name. He's like, you Sho, go 264 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,600 Speaker 1: out in the woods and bed down with and ky 265 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:13,400 Speaker 1: Do and mellow him out a little, domesticate him. He's 266 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:17,480 Speaker 1: a bit feral. She's like, I runs out there, you know. 267 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:20,639 Speaker 1: They sleep together, and then after that the animals that 268 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:23,720 Speaker 1: he's been poling around with are like you I want 269 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:30,000 Speaker 1: nothing to do with you. Yeah, you've been bedding down amore. Yeah. 270 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:33,360 Speaker 1: They're like, you can't sit with us. And now he's 271 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:37,400 Speaker 1: a human. Now he's a human. So and kid goes 272 00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:41,200 Speaker 1: back fights Gilgamesh, but then they become best friends afterwards, 273 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:43,560 Speaker 1: and it turns out and Kyd was the meteor buddy 274 00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:48,800 Speaker 1: all along. Always listen to your mom exactly. So that 275 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:52,040 Speaker 1: one tablet, the one with the dreams and the hairy 276 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:56,679 Speaker 1: guy doing it in the woods with a sex worker 277 00:17:56,720 --> 00:18:01,760 Speaker 1: who's there on official church business. That tablet's got a 278 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:05,840 Speaker 1: long wild ride ahead of it. Millennia go by. The 279 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,959 Speaker 1: dream tablet sits in It's called the Gilgamesh dream tablet 280 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:15,800 Speaker 1: sits in temples, in storage somewhere old ancient palaces. It's 281 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:20,399 Speaker 1: exactly eighteen fifty three. It's discovered in these Assyrian ruins 282 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:23,040 Speaker 1: in northern Iraq, and after that it goes to like 283 00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:29,760 Speaker 1: universities and in museums, comes around and it gets snatched 284 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:34,359 Speaker 1: from a museum in Iraq exactly. I caught that one 285 00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:37,679 Speaker 1: right in two thousand three. It shows up again in London, 286 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,400 Speaker 1: so I don't know what it was doing in between. 287 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,400 Speaker 1: Hopefully no one was using it as like a coaster. 288 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:51,240 Speaker 1: Wondering This antiques dealer buys it from a coin dealer. 289 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:55,320 Speaker 1: People are always shady, Yeah, and sends it to the 290 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:59,520 Speaker 1: United States, but doesn't declare it on a formal entry form. 291 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:03,639 Speaker 1: He's just well, here's a brick, sends it um this 292 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:08,480 Speaker 1: cuneiform expert in the US realizes that it's from Gilgamesh. 293 00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:10,760 Speaker 1: So wait, I don't understand. The cuniform expert comes in, 294 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:13,919 Speaker 1: So did the antiques dealer. He goes to get it 295 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:17,040 Speaker 1: like certified. Yeah, he buys it from the coin dealer. 296 00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:19,040 Speaker 1: He sends it. He's like, let me send it home 297 00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:21,119 Speaker 1: and I'll figure there's's got to be some value. It 298 00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:24,199 Speaker 1: looks old. He's like, how much is this worth? And 299 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:26,639 Speaker 1: then they take it. He's like, this looks like cuneiform? 300 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,080 Speaker 1: What is this? Is it like a receipt tablet? You 301 00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:32,280 Speaker 1: know what are we talking? Oh, it's Gilgamesh. So the 302 00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:35,280 Speaker 1: dealer he hangs onto it for like four more years 303 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:38,320 Speaker 1: and then he sells the tablet to someone else, but 304 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:42,879 Speaker 1: he gives a fake letter of provenance and he says 305 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:45,160 Speaker 1: that it had been in a box with these old 306 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:50,240 Speaker 1: bronze fragments that he bought. And so the tablet gets 307 00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:55,040 Speaker 1: sold again, bounced around. Yeah, he probably doesn't want anyone 308 00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:58,200 Speaker 1: to know that he's been dealing with with Coney McGee. 309 00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:03,920 Speaker 1: And so now the dream tablet is sold for almost 310 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:08,120 Speaker 1: one point seven million dollars. Yeah, it's a big come 311 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:13,080 Speaker 1: up for the tablet. Who's the buyer? Um um, let's 312 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:15,359 Speaker 1: see the owner of the New York Jets. Yes, and 313 00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:22,640 Speaker 1: then they started the tablet as a tight end. Come on, now, 314 00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:26,119 Speaker 1: get your act together. It was Hobby Lobby was certain 315 00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:31,040 Speaker 1: it was also ran of the craft world. Hobby. What 316 00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:33,560 Speaker 1: is hobby going to do? Let's grind it up, and 317 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,960 Speaker 1: why is a craft store showing out so that kind 318 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:40,320 Speaker 1: of serious cash on an ancient clay tablet? They think that? Do? 319 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:42,280 Speaker 1: They think they can use it for the gay conversion therapy, 320 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:46,400 Speaker 1: take it into pieces and sell, you know. So okay, 321 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:49,600 Speaker 1: let's stop and scratch our chins and think about this 322 00:20:49,720 --> 00:21:12,280 Speaker 1: for a while while we take a quick quick So, 323 00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:20,960 Speaker 1: why did Hobby Lobby by the Gilgamesh stream tablet? Um 324 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:26,240 Speaker 1: because it had some ancient invocation that would make people conservative. No, 325 00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:28,919 Speaker 1: they wanted to use it as the stick in a 326 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:33,600 Speaker 1: giant lick um stick. Dip it into sugar. Yeah, yeah, 327 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:40,320 Speaker 1: so much sugar. Totally. They tasted like uniform tablets, so dry, 328 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:44,399 Speaker 1: totally chalk. Dip this, chalk in some in some sugar. 329 00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:45,920 Speaker 1: I would just lick my finger and stick it in 330 00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:47,879 Speaker 1: the bag. My sister hated it. You can't do that. 331 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:49,680 Speaker 1: I'm like, why there are no rules to this? Why 332 00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:51,960 Speaker 1: don't you just lop the top off a bag of 333 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,879 Speaker 1: sugar and make a kid go face down? What's the point? 334 00:21:56,960 --> 00:22:03,159 Speaker 1: Let's like pixie sticks? Why such a messed up one 335 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:04,960 Speaker 1: of the wildest candies? If you really can you imagine 336 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:06,880 Speaker 1: that pitch meeting? What is this? It's a straw full 337 00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:09,439 Speaker 1: of sugar, but we added color and kids are all 338 00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:13,520 Speaker 1: I'm going to go pixie sticking. They just nail him down. Yeah, 339 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:18,520 Speaker 1: what you're gripping one on. It's terrible missing teeth. Anyhow, 340 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:22,560 Speaker 1: um so why did they why did they want the tablet? 341 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:25,119 Speaker 1: We got to go a little bit further back about this, okay, 342 00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:29,600 Speaker 1: as one often does. Oh, of course, so they we 343 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:35,439 Speaker 1: talked a little bit about their business methods earlier practice. Uh, 344 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:39,240 Speaker 1: they're the places owned by this dude named Steve Green 345 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:44,880 Speaker 1: and he's a billionaire because a lot of people got 346 00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:49,679 Speaker 1: the hobbies. And Steve's also a Southern Baptist. Good for 347 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:53,560 Speaker 1: him and a leo. Oh what's his rising side? I'm kidding, 348 00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:57,040 Speaker 1: I don't yield. I don't know, I don't know any 349 00:22:57,080 --> 00:23:03,679 Speaker 1: of that. He's really into antiques, and but not just 350 00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:10,280 Speaker 1: any antiques. Bible antiques, fun like crosses for Jesus Christian. Yeah, 351 00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:14,560 Speaker 1: I don't think it's like Catholic, but you know, he's 352 00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,080 Speaker 1: just like it's kind of you know, it's it's a 353 00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:18,960 Speaker 1: cool thing, like that's his that's his whole life, right, 354 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,440 Speaker 1: and so he's he wants to kind of collect I 355 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:25,760 Speaker 1: don't want to say memorabilia like antiques about that, you know, 356 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:29,520 Speaker 1: historically what have you. He's the chairman of the board 357 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:33,960 Speaker 1: at the Museum of the Bible in Washington, d C. Yeah, 358 00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:37,600 Speaker 1: it's like this huge places, gigantic. I think it opened 359 00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,679 Speaker 1: or something like that. In the first year they had 360 00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,399 Speaker 1: a million guests. I can see that in this country. 361 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:46,879 Speaker 1: I mean the Museum of the Museum of the Bible, 362 00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:50,200 Speaker 1: Museum of the Bible. And do they have like the 363 00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:52,480 Speaker 1: pieces of like an aramaic of texts and stuff like 364 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,800 Speaker 1: I don't understand. It's got mostly a lot of Bible 365 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:59,960 Speaker 1: stuff in it. Let me let me read you there. 366 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:05,080 Speaker 1: Mission statement. Museum of the Bible is a global innovative 367 00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:10,080 Speaker 1: educational institution whose purpose is to invite all people to 368 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:14,439 Speaker 1: engage with the transformative power of the Bible. Okay, that 369 00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:17,320 Speaker 1: sounds like a good you know, it's the thing. Go 370 00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:20,240 Speaker 1: for it. It sounds like a super cool place for 371 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:24,200 Speaker 1: Bible fans. Yeah, I love it for Bible fans. Yeah. 372 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:26,320 Speaker 1: What does it have to do with Gila, I do 373 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:31,160 Speaker 1: not know. Well, see Gilgamesh old religious text right all right, right, 374 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:35,880 Speaker 1: there are so many elements in Gilgamesh that um line 375 00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:39,480 Speaker 1: up with events in the Hebrew Bible, the flood and stuff, 376 00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:43,240 Speaker 1: the flood, garden of eden Um. That proverb a triple 377 00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:47,320 Speaker 1: stranded rope is not easily broken. That's yeah, it appears 378 00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:49,439 Speaker 1: in both. And you know, you find this with a 379 00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:52,040 Speaker 1: lot of texts at that time. You see, like particularly 380 00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:54,920 Speaker 1: the flood pops up in a lot of early religious texts, 381 00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:59,639 Speaker 1: and so you know, it's an interesting, interesting thing. Um, 382 00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:02,760 Speaker 1: there's some stuff in the Ecclesiastes that you see in 383 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:08,840 Speaker 1: Gilgamesh anyway. Um, But so the museum doesn't just get 384 00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:12,840 Speaker 1: down with the Bible. They get down with all things 385 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:17,800 Speaker 1: Bible related and Bible adjacent. So like motel, like stick 386 00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:22,480 Speaker 1: those little Gideon. They have a whole room dedicated to 387 00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:25,159 Speaker 1: motel bedside tables like this is where a lot of 388 00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:27,640 Speaker 1: people have found you. Did you ever hear the there's 389 00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:32,000 Speaker 1: like the urban legend that people trat like travelers put 390 00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:35,280 Speaker 1: a hundred dollar bill in the Gideon Bible, like pay 391 00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:37,240 Speaker 1: it forward or something. I have heard that I believe 392 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,120 Speaker 1: that people do. It sounds like the type of things 393 00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:41,640 Speaker 1: that do you ever flip through when you get to hotel? 394 00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:43,399 Speaker 1: Or is that just me? The first thing I do 395 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:45,640 Speaker 1: is leave through to see if a honey falls out. 396 00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:48,840 Speaker 1: But I used to take the Bible, Like when I 397 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:50,360 Speaker 1: was a kid, I was always taking I'm like, mom, 398 00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:52,439 Speaker 1: it's a free book. I stole the Bible, you know. 399 00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:56,680 Speaker 1: He was like, you can't not steal the Bible. So 400 00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:00,680 Speaker 1: I thought that was hilarious, stealing the whole thing. Yeah, 401 00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:03,200 Speaker 1: I'm getting good seating in Hell, all right, front row. 402 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:07,440 Speaker 1: So okay, so they have the Bible stuff Bible adjacent. 403 00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:11,080 Speaker 1: They were super stoked to get the Gilgamesh dream tablet 404 00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:14,840 Speaker 1: and put it on display because of the connection. Right, 405 00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:19,879 Speaker 1: But it wasn't just Gilgamesh that they were into. So 406 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:23,600 Speaker 1: back when Steve Green, the owner, he starts he gets 407 00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:27,679 Speaker 1: he starts realizing how into antiquities he really is. The 408 00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:30,680 Speaker 1: world opens up to him for that. People find out 409 00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:34,120 Speaker 1: and they start coming to him with like all these 410 00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:39,119 Speaker 1: offerings of ancient Mesopotamian items. So he just starts getting 411 00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:41,600 Speaker 1: into anything from that age. Well, you make a couple 412 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:44,520 Speaker 1: of big ticket purchases in that category, and then all 413 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:48,280 Speaker 1: these other dealers are like, oh that listen exactly, we've 414 00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:51,800 Speaker 1: gotta we got a whale here, um so, and a 415 00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:54,639 Speaker 1: lot of the pieces that were offered to him, we 416 00:26:54,760 --> 00:27:00,240 Speaker 1: and the biz call it uncertain proven once. So face really, 417 00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:04,240 Speaker 1: stuff that's like looted during the various Gulf Wars, the 418 00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:09,439 Speaker 1: assorted Gulf Wars some someon was just fake um And 419 00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:12,480 Speaker 1: the problem is that because it was hobby lobby and 420 00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:16,439 Speaker 1: not a museum or university, they didn't have experts in place, 421 00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:21,200 Speaker 1: and they didn't have practices to establish that white glove 422 00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:23,760 Speaker 1: handling of that. And I suppose they were, but they 423 00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:27,600 Speaker 1: just didn't have any like protocols in place to preserve, 424 00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:32,760 Speaker 1: and they didn't have any protocols to like track catalog 425 00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:37,200 Speaker 1: and all that sort of thing. So and back. Remember 426 00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:41,240 Speaker 1: it was like when they bought the tablet. Steve and 427 00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:45,200 Speaker 1: his pal they go to the United Arab Emirates and 428 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:47,440 Speaker 1: they want to take a look at a huge shipment 429 00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:52,160 Speaker 1: of rare cuneiform tablets. So they're really excited about this. 430 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:56,120 Speaker 1: They walk into this place, they're just spread all over 431 00:27:56,160 --> 00:28:00,080 Speaker 1: the floor and stacked up willy nilly, so not you know, 432 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:03,119 Speaker 1: not the white glove treatment you're talking about. And the 433 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:06,040 Speaker 1: Israeli dealers at the meeting said the stuff came from 434 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:08,400 Speaker 1: this third dealer who just happened to not be there. 435 00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:12,840 Speaker 1: My friend, he's very busy. But yeah, it's like Bob, 436 00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:16,320 Speaker 1: Bob selling this stuff. He's he couldn't come, he had 437 00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:18,080 Speaker 1: to go watch his car, but he wanted us to 438 00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:22,320 Speaker 1: just help. Yeah, but maybe I don't know. He's I'm 439 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,879 Speaker 1: authorized to work on his behalf. I've got a proxy. 440 00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:28,000 Speaker 1: It's cool. Don't worry about don't worry about Bob. So 441 00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:32,280 Speaker 1: um Steve, Steve Green doesn't care. I'm guessing he doesn't care. 442 00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:37,520 Speaker 1: He buys the whole lot, like all the stuff pieces. 443 00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:42,560 Speaker 1: Yeah right, and these shady dealers they give Steve and 444 00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:46,480 Speaker 1: hobby lobby provenance statements that said that the artifacts were 445 00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:52,000 Speaker 1: totally legal, totally cool, and acquired from local markets in 446 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,760 Speaker 1: the nineteen sixties. Yeah, that's I have a couple of 447 00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:57,320 Speaker 1: those letters myself. I just keep them around for anything 448 00:28:57,360 --> 00:29:00,000 Speaker 1: I have laminated. Where is that only get my letters 449 00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:08,640 Speaker 1: it came from a local market in the bag of weed. Sorry, officer. Um, So, 450 00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:10,920 Speaker 1: no one at holl they get this letter, right, No 451 00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:14,440 Speaker 1: one at Hobby Lobby follows up on that to confirm it. 452 00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:17,720 Speaker 1: They're just like, well, that's what the letter says, and 453 00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:21,320 Speaker 1: you know, because what if I don't know, Like anyway, 454 00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:23,040 Speaker 1: I'd be curious if they went to try to ensure 455 00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:26,520 Speaker 1: the items, if the insurance company would. Yeah, I don't 456 00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:30,520 Speaker 1: know about that. That's interesting. So anyway, Hobby Lobby is 457 00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:33,040 Speaker 1: getting all this conflicting information about the stuff, and they 458 00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:36,480 Speaker 1: also never met or spoke with the opposed third dealer. 459 00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:39,560 Speaker 1: They're just like, whatever, Bob's in the wind, that's cool, 460 00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:42,600 Speaker 1: we got the stuff. So Steve arranges for the shipment 461 00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:45,240 Speaker 1: and all the rest of the stuff to be sent 462 00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:50,640 Speaker 1: back to the United States. That's in now. I don't 463 00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:53,040 Speaker 1: know if this is when he was coming back from 464 00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:56,360 Speaker 1: that U A trip, you a trip or not, but 465 00:29:56,480 --> 00:30:01,240 Speaker 1: let's just pretend it was he out pinched by customs 466 00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:03,560 Speaker 1: for trying to get back into the country with some 467 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:09,840 Speaker 1: undeclared goods panties. No, just kidding. Um, it was a 468 00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:14,600 Speaker 1: million dollar bible? Was it written in gold? Yeah? I 469 00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:17,640 Speaker 1: don't know. Do you know that was saying, had a 470 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:22,000 Speaker 1: Koran made written in his own blood? I swear that's 471 00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:23,840 Speaker 1: the true thing. It was on display for a long 472 00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:25,920 Speaker 1: time now I don't know where it is, but Saddam 473 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:27,920 Speaker 1: was saying, had a whole that do you know how 474 00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:31,000 Speaker 1: long the koran is? It took pints and pints of 475 00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:34,400 Speaker 1: his blood? Is that like a fake though? Like the 476 00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:36,960 Speaker 1: Thomas kincaide, you know it's real, Like at least it 477 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:39,400 Speaker 1: is real. It is well documented. This is a well 478 00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:42,600 Speaker 1: documented story, and it was on display. I bet he 479 00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:50,280 Speaker 1: was draining and who say, yeah, enough enough, close enough 480 00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:54,160 Speaker 1: for government work. So he's got this million dollar bible. 481 00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:57,800 Speaker 1: He doesn't declare it anyway aside. That's that's an aside. 482 00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:01,400 Speaker 1: So these tableists they're shipped back and in order to 483 00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:05,320 Speaker 1: avoid customs charges, the dealers said that the crates contain 484 00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:11,400 Speaker 1: quote handcrafted clay tiles. Look, I'm in the that's kind 485 00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:14,960 Speaker 1: of true, yea um. And they said that each package 486 00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:18,720 Speaker 1: was worth about two bucks million dollar bible, a million 487 00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:21,880 Speaker 1: dollars self help book. Well, it is kind of true. 488 00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:26,080 Speaker 1: So customs managed to seize five of the ten packages 489 00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:29,960 Speaker 1: before they make it to hobby lobby headquarters in Oklahoma City, 490 00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:35,560 Speaker 1: which like, what does the headquarters building look like? Like, yeah, exactly, 491 00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:40,120 Speaker 1: it's like a novelty building. Steve, he's playing it fast 492 00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:43,960 Speaker 1: and loose, loving it. Um. He goes up like it's 493 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:47,479 Speaker 1: like the tablets. The package gets unpacked. He looks at 494 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:51,040 Speaker 1: the tablets, he like draws his pinky finger across it 495 00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:53,880 Speaker 1: and then rubs the dust on his gums and he's like, oh, 496 00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:58,400 Speaker 1: that's good cuneiform. That's that good. Ain't been cut exactly 497 00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:04,040 Speaker 1: uncut uncut lay tabs. So this law professor who's like 498 00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:07,200 Speaker 1: has an expertise and cultural heritage, gives them a warning, 499 00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:11,800 Speaker 1: like puts a red siren on their head and says, 500 00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:15,840 Speaker 1: this is risky and that stuff is tots looted. I 501 00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:17,800 Speaker 1: like this one speaks to the truth. Yeah, that was 502 00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:21,400 Speaker 1: legal relieves when you cut through the legally, is totes 503 00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:24,720 Speaker 1: looted means that it was like in all likelihood obtained 504 00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:30,000 Speaker 1: through is legal measures. Um Green doesn't care. I'm a billionaire. 505 00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:32,280 Speaker 1: Stevies like, give me that good give me that good 506 00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:37,160 Speaker 1: clay tab. He buys another eight thousand pieces in bulk 507 00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:42,280 Speaker 1: from Iraq, two thousand bits at a time, and there's 508 00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:46,240 Speaker 1: like no paperwork attached to this stuff. Ship it out 509 00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:49,160 Speaker 1: to me, man, I they got big warehouses for hobby lobby. 510 00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:52,480 Speaker 1: The people selling it to him must have been so excited. 511 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:58,520 Speaker 1: Some rocks the box, just bags of rocks that they're 512 00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:03,400 Speaker 1: sentting in there, like carving like a one one character 513 00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:06,280 Speaker 1: into it, like a screwdriver and a hammer. Just the 514 00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:10,120 Speaker 1: kids knocking. We missed Torondo get taking advantage of this 515 00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:14,160 Speaker 1: and making some screen on it. So he like the 516 00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:16,720 Speaker 1: buyers are probably like never even looking at the stuff 517 00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:19,040 Speaker 1: that they shell out. They're just like, oh yeah, send 518 00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:24,280 Speaker 1: me more and um. Eventually Steve has thirty million dollars 519 00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:27,920 Speaker 1: worth of antiquities on Steve got an antiquity problem. He does, 520 00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:32,360 Speaker 1: He's like shaking, He's like he's scratching himself with new tablet, 521 00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:41,800 Speaker 1: gonna come artifacts. Only a hundred researchers. That's not so great. 522 00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:45,320 Speaker 1: I guess I don't know. And who are these researchers? 523 00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:49,479 Speaker 1: Are they off duty hobby lobby cashiers. Those people are 524 00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:52,719 Speaker 1: pretty crafty with like compiling coupons and figuring out like 525 00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:57,240 Speaker 1: what the good deal is doing over overtime. Sure, yeah, 526 00:33:57,400 --> 00:34:00,000 Speaker 1: so it's like a you know freelance gig on the stude. 527 00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:03,920 Speaker 1: Steve has really stocked this museum up. This is all 528 00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:06,040 Speaker 1: for the Museum of the Bible. This isn't just like 529 00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:10,360 Speaker 1: for his bedroom and hobby lobby headquarters. Cut thousands of 530 00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:14,520 Speaker 1: undocumented artifacts He's going to put in a museum. This 531 00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:19,800 Speaker 1: is about Bible times. Why not? So the Museum of 532 00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:24,600 Speaker 1: the Bible has it all. They've got ancient Bible fragments, 533 00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:30,400 Speaker 1: fragments of Egyptian coffins, pieces of the Dead Sea scrolls, 534 00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:36,040 Speaker 1: the Gilgamesh dream tablet well chunk of it, and then 535 00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:38,680 Speaker 1: tons of other bits and bobs, and some rocks from 536 00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:42,200 Speaker 1: and some rocks that some dudes sent them, and roll 537 00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:47,240 Speaker 1: are really excited about there living large seede ROMs, microwaves, 538 00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:52,919 Speaker 1: color TVs. It was like Christian Pokemon up in there, 539 00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:57,080 Speaker 1: like Steve's the Ultimate Trainer, got catch them all, just 540 00:34:57,239 --> 00:35:01,440 Speaker 1: running around getting them all, but like some dangling playing 541 00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:05,000 Speaker 1: Pokemon go, which ps I love when kids want to 542 00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,799 Speaker 1: tell me about Pokemon, to keep referring to it as Pokemon. 543 00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:11,800 Speaker 1: It's not Pokemon. I thought it was, and I found 544 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:13,839 Speaker 1: it wasn't, and then it really sets a kid off. 545 00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:17,000 Speaker 1: And nothing. I love nothing more than a really irritated 546 00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:20,279 Speaker 1: kid yelling at me. My friend's father, to this day, 547 00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:23,719 Speaker 1: his online name is Duke Skyjacker because that's what he 548 00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:26,160 Speaker 1: used to call, Luke Skywalker to drive my friend nuts. 549 00:35:27,239 --> 00:35:32,719 Speaker 1: Duke Skyjacker. It's amazing. So like you know, the Pokemon 550 00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:36,520 Speaker 1: Pokemon Go people, they used to like stroll into traffic 551 00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:42,480 Speaker 1: distractedly on this question, off walking into Bosnian minefield. You know, 552 00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:46,920 Speaker 1: this supermarket sweep of ancient treasures took a turn for 553 00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:52,880 Speaker 1: the worst. Green Yeah, okay, let's pause for a second 554 00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:55,840 Speaker 1: while advertisers get there. Two cents in, and when we 555 00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:57,680 Speaker 1: come back, we're gonna look at what happens when the 556 00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:02,200 Speaker 1: law and revenuers in general ethics catch up with old 557 00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:25,600 Speaker 1: Steve and the hobby lobby crew. All right, So the 558 00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:31,600 Speaker 1: Museum of the Bible brimming with artifacts, chock full, it's 559 00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:36,759 Speaker 1: like overstuffed um, so much clay as far as the 560 00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:41,719 Speaker 1: eye can see, things start to fall apart in well, well, 561 00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:47,600 Speaker 1: well if it isn't the consequences of my actions. Remember 562 00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:53,120 Speaker 1: those crates seized by customs in Okay, the Department of Justice, 563 00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:55,719 Speaker 1: remember they you know they've got those. They file a 564 00:36:55,840 --> 00:37:00,000 Speaker 1: civil forfeiture case, and that is United States of them 565 00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:04,319 Speaker 1: Erica versus approximately four hundred fifty ancient cuneiform tablets and 566 00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:08,960 Speaker 1: approximately three thousand ancient clay bully, So do you remember that? 567 00:37:09,719 --> 00:37:12,240 Speaker 1: Where were you when you heard about that? I was 568 00:37:12,239 --> 00:37:14,719 Speaker 1: sitting here and making a bad jokes about lawyers. There 569 00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:18,399 Speaker 1: you go. They reached a settlement and Hobby Lobby paid 570 00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:23,040 Speaker 1: a fine of three million dollars. They got thirty million 571 00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:25,600 Speaker 1: in artifacts. So they just sent him a bag of 572 00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:29,080 Speaker 1: clay tablets and like, do you can I pay you 573 00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:33,960 Speaker 1: in clay tablets or bitcoin? What's your what venmo? Do 574 00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:36,319 Speaker 1: you want? Maybe a bunch of wooden crates filled with 575 00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:39,920 Speaker 1: some candles. They're like, here are three million doll hairs. 576 00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:43,840 Speaker 1: Oh wait, never mind. So that was all they're paying 577 00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:47,040 Speaker 1: off their lack of due diligence in the acquisitions. So 578 00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:50,560 Speaker 1: basically it's just like a stupid tax for them. Yeah. Yeah, 579 00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:54,759 Speaker 1: essentially you use that a lot, the stupid tax. The 580 00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:57,960 Speaker 1: idea like any time I've noticed that, you tell me 581 00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:00,480 Speaker 1: anytime you forget to do something or like you let 582 00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:02,719 Speaker 1: something lapse and you have to wind up paying for it, 583 00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:05,960 Speaker 1: stupid tax. It's basically like the amount you're willing to pay, 584 00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:08,520 Speaker 1: or they're forced to pay because you chose to be stupid. 585 00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:12,799 Speaker 1: I do a lot of stupid tax dodging. Yes you do. See, 586 00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:15,120 Speaker 1: you're a stupid tax dodger and I am a stupid 587 00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:20,439 Speaker 1: tax um assessor. So yeah, they've paid the stupid tax 588 00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:23,839 Speaker 1: of three million dollars three million dollar hairs um. They 589 00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:26,880 Speaker 1: also had to be under federal oversight for eighteen months. 590 00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:31,520 Speaker 1: Oh like the Oakland Police Department. Yes, now that you 591 00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:34,680 Speaker 1: mention it. Yes, well, it's like if they're you know, 592 00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:37,920 Speaker 1: they're on probation basically, but not like in the traditional 593 00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:40,839 Speaker 1: sense anyhow. So you remember that, you remember the Dead 594 00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:43,640 Speaker 1: Sea scrolls? Oh, big fan, Actually, I've talked a lot 595 00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:47,320 Speaker 1: about those of friends and kidding, Like the Gospel of Thomas. 596 00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:50,120 Speaker 1: We've got that little bit, or the Gospel of Mary Magdalen, like, 597 00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:52,200 Speaker 1: and then there's the other bit where like Mary was 598 00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:54,840 Speaker 1: Jesus's favorite disciple. He often wouly kissed her on that 599 00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:57,920 Speaker 1: and then there's a hole in the text someone stubbed 600 00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:01,840 Speaker 1: their cigarette out, like, oh no, not on my watch belt? 601 00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:04,719 Speaker 1: Is that? So? Is that that where the Gnostic Gospels 602 00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:07,600 Speaker 1: come from, the Nastic Gospels are from the Est scenes. 603 00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:10,719 Speaker 1: They were like a sex They were like out in 604 00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:12,040 Speaker 1: the desert around that time. A lot of people have 605 00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:14,600 Speaker 1: attributed the Dead Sea Scrolls to the scenes, so that's 606 00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:19,000 Speaker 1: what they usually get, you know, in the jasmine of 607 00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:21,600 Speaker 1: my mind, it all kinds. Basically, they were like a 608 00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:24,800 Speaker 1: really hardcore sect of like proto hippies out in the desert, 609 00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:27,000 Speaker 1: and they everybody thought that they probably wrote the disse 610 00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:29,879 Speaker 1: was like ancient burning Man basically, just with a little 611 00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:34,160 Speaker 1: bit more ethics, just a smidge. So Dead Sea Scrolls 612 00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:39,080 Speaker 1: in the Museum of the Bible had to confess five 613 00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:42,600 Speaker 1: of its sixteen Dead Sea Scrolls were dead fake. Hey, 614 00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:45,239 Speaker 1: that'll get you in the Hall of Fame. I've had 615 00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:50,120 Speaker 1: a sixteen. And then two years later March of an 616 00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:53,880 Speaker 1: independent art fraud investigator had to break the bad news. 617 00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:58,440 Speaker 1: Guess what, guys, all sixteen of these are focus. I 618 00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:00,759 Speaker 1: like that there was a chance that they weren't all 619 00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:03,040 Speaker 1: bogus when we all know they're like we looked him 620 00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:05,680 Speaker 1: over and like, yeah, some of these were written in English, 621 00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:09,680 Speaker 1: would say there were only five of those. So my dad, 622 00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:11,680 Speaker 1: I just you know, it was upside down when I 623 00:40:11,719 --> 00:40:14,640 Speaker 1: first looked at it. And then you know, someone comes 624 00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:17,120 Speaker 1: in and they're like, my bogus meter is off, is 625 00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:21,279 Speaker 1: off the charts, and they're like, I've never seen it 626 00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:24,520 Speaker 1: act like this. Why is this on hobby Lobby craft paper? 627 00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:28,520 Speaker 1: So it turns out it wasn't. It wasn't even on 628 00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:32,160 Speaker 1: papyrus or parchment, right, Like they didn't even go into 629 00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:35,680 Speaker 1: the stationary parchment aisle at hobby Lobby and lift some 630 00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:41,480 Speaker 1: of those. This was on Roman Arab boot leather. Yeah, okay, 631 00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:46,520 Speaker 1: which like that's a cool artifact. Was like you have Roman, 632 00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:50,320 Speaker 1: You're like, hold on, let me craft this little tail 633 00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:52,640 Speaker 1: well and then they find out it's like modern ink. 634 00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:57,080 Speaker 1: And there was like animal byproduct glue, which wasn't you 635 00:40:57,239 --> 00:41:00,520 Speaker 1: you know, the whole the whole shebanger. It was a mess, 636 00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:08,360 Speaker 1: that's all. They were basically buying bad craft projects. Yeah, hey, 637 00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:11,920 Speaker 1: do you remember those ancient Bible fragments I reference? Ever, 638 00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:17,160 Speaker 1: the museum bought those from a dude name Professor Dirk Abink. 639 00:41:17,719 --> 00:41:19,960 Speaker 1: Dirk abbinc. I like that, I'm going to use that name. 640 00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:22,480 Speaker 1: I check into hotels Professor Dirk Robbin. Do I have 641 00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:27,160 Speaker 1: any messages? Yes, sir, you do. One of them is 642 00:41:27,239 --> 00:41:30,879 Speaker 1: from Oxford Dirk was a professor at Oxford. We think 643 00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:34,680 Speaker 1: that that's enough, right'. I don't know. He was a 644 00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:39,360 Speaker 1: MacArthur Genius Grant recipient. His colleagues respect him. To genius 645 00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:43,320 Speaker 1: was apparently used in the sarcastic way, like our genius. 646 00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:46,479 Speaker 1: This guy not genius. He was one of the most 647 00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:51,760 Speaker 1: celebrated classics professors in the entire world. Also a native 648 00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:58,440 Speaker 1: of Nebraska. He should know better. Um, straight up thief 649 00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:00,759 Speaker 1: he was. Are you calling me that he was? Thank 650 00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:06,520 Speaker 1: he was genius. He stole eleven Bible fragments from the 651 00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:11,400 Speaker 1: Papyri project at Oxford, and that's this collection of literature 652 00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:15,360 Speaker 1: that they recovered from this I don't know, ancient Egyptian 653 00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:20,319 Speaker 1: garbage dump. They're just like dumpster diving and they're like, oh, 654 00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:23,080 Speaker 1: check it out, Beller from the back of the day, 655 00:42:23,520 --> 00:42:28,600 Speaker 1: fragments of the Bible. Um. So he turns around and 656 00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:32,280 Speaker 1: he sold these said fragments to hobby lobby. He probably 657 00:42:32,280 --> 00:42:35,120 Speaker 1: got in a little update from the black market. He's like, oh, 658 00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:36,520 Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, we got a live one. You 659 00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:38,880 Speaker 1: gotta get in on this. I got some stuff. I 660 00:42:38,920 --> 00:42:41,680 Speaker 1: got some stuff. It's from the Bible. He crossed out 661 00:42:41,719 --> 00:42:44,480 Speaker 1: the thou shouting that steel part and then sold it 662 00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:47,200 Speaker 1: to hobby lobby. I don't know why everyone that U 663 00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:51,600 Speaker 1: hung up on their buzz kills. Do you remember the 664 00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:55,719 Speaker 1: Egyptian coffins? I mean, I made a brief reference. Some 665 00:42:55,800 --> 00:42:59,319 Speaker 1: of the most comfortable coffins I've ever slept. They're so 666 00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:03,000 Speaker 1: stream lined. Um. It turns out that those were smuggled 667 00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:08,040 Speaker 1: illegally out of Egypt wound up at the museum years 668 00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:12,200 Speaker 1: After years of talks, homeland Security and the Egyptian government 669 00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:18,560 Speaker 1: convinced the museum to surrender some funeral masks, pieces of coffins, 670 00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:24,400 Speaker 1: portraits of the dead, heads of stone statues, the collection, 671 00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:29,480 Speaker 1: manuscripts of Christian prayers written in like Arabic and Coptic, 672 00:43:31,719 --> 00:43:35,440 Speaker 1: got to catch them all, and pieces of papyrus they 673 00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:39,320 Speaker 1: weren't Roman boots like the legit thing with that again 674 00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:42,719 Speaker 1: Coptic and like Greek text on them. So they had 675 00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:47,480 Speaker 1: to turn that stuff over because it was illegal gains. 676 00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:51,440 Speaker 1: Do you remember the Gilgamish dream tablet? Do you have 677 00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:55,120 Speaker 1: to ask is it your dream? So they remember? They 678 00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:59,240 Speaker 1: buy it in for one point seven million dollars hobby 679 00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:02,759 Speaker 1: lobby does they handed over to the museum all that 680 00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:09,200 Speaker 1: paperwork completely fake, so fake see that? Yeah? And did 681 00:44:09,239 --> 00:44:12,080 Speaker 1: hobby lobby or did the auction house look into this 682 00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:15,200 Speaker 1: matter and make sure everything was proper? I'm guessing yeah, 683 00:44:15,239 --> 00:44:20,839 Speaker 1: the answer is no. Good job in the FEDS took 684 00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:23,800 Speaker 1: possession of the dream tablet. So now the US government 685 00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:25,400 Speaker 1: owns the Dream Tablet's like with the Ark of the 686 00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:28,320 Speaker 1: Covenant in that giant warehouse. The head of Homeland Security 687 00:44:28,320 --> 00:44:30,359 Speaker 1: wears it on the chain around his or her neck 688 00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:35,319 Speaker 1: as part of the ceremonial duties. Yeah, they have to 689 00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:38,719 Speaker 1: like recite Gilgamesh. It's a just has gotten really complicated. 690 00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:42,319 Speaker 1: As the agency is developed and grows, these kind of 691 00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:46,520 Speaker 1: things change and the traditions occur. So the FEDS have it. 692 00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:49,960 Speaker 1: Turns out, yep, it was looted back in Fear not 693 00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:56,480 Speaker 1: early October. The tablet was handed over to the Iraqi 694 00:44:56,520 --> 00:45:00,920 Speaker 1: government at their embassy in Washington, and from there they 695 00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:05,440 Speaker 1: sent it back to the Iraqi National Museum. M They're like, 696 00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:08,319 Speaker 1: hang on to this until the next war, until we 697 00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:13,600 Speaker 1: looted again. So there's this guy, Steve Francis. He's the 698 00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:19,120 Speaker 1: executive Associate director of Homeland Security Investigations. And when do 699 00:45:19,160 --> 00:45:22,040 Speaker 1: you think they're going to have a primetime TV show 700 00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:26,480 Speaker 1: Homeland Security Investigations. I'm sure CBS is already working on it, 701 00:45:27,239 --> 00:45:29,040 Speaker 1: just trying to figure out how to bring into the 702 00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:33,000 Speaker 1: n c I S family Chicago. Yeah, there being of shows. 703 00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:35,000 Speaker 1: I don't know how many. I don't I haven't watched 704 00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:36,279 Speaker 1: any of those, but it seems like there are a 705 00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:38,960 Speaker 1: lot of Chicago fill in the blank. Yeah. Well, you know, 706 00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:40,920 Speaker 1: they all have cities. They pick them, like, you know, 707 00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:44,879 Speaker 1: NBC has New York, CBS Chicago, So then they've got 708 00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:47,400 Speaker 1: done this traditionally, like they go back to the cities 709 00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:50,080 Speaker 1: over and over, and Fox has l A with the 710 00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:56,360 Speaker 1: greatest television one. Hello, why are we talking about anything 711 00:45:56,400 --> 00:46:03,520 Speaker 1: other than one? Because ridiculous? So Steve Stevie Francis, Yeah, 712 00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:05,560 Speaker 1: don't get me started, because then we're going to have 713 00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:08,480 Speaker 1: to do a very special episode where it will be 714 00:46:08,520 --> 00:46:12,440 Speaker 1: like when you're talking to your like a grandma grandpa 715 00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:15,920 Speaker 1: who tells you about the TV shows there their stories 716 00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:18,480 Speaker 1: that they're watching and they recount plots and you're like, 717 00:46:18,520 --> 00:46:20,839 Speaker 1: I have no idea what you're talking about, but go off. 718 00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:23,319 Speaker 1: That's going to be me. We're going to do an 719 00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:26,360 Speaker 1: episode of me just telling everyone what happened in the 720 00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:29,120 Speaker 1: last two three episodes of one, but not really doing 721 00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:31,440 Speaker 1: an episode recap per se, just doing kind of an 722 00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:35,919 Speaker 1: episode meander like we're doing. And then as you gotta remember, yeah, 723 00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:37,759 Speaker 1: I forget parts and then I have to go back. 724 00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:41,560 Speaker 1: And it's a lot of commentary about Angela Bass. It's amazing, 725 00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:46,680 Speaker 1: like side I and Sassy driving around all by yourself 726 00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:49,319 Speaker 1: with no partner, and I look, it's already started. Yeah, 727 00:46:49,360 --> 00:46:52,760 Speaker 1: I can feel it alright, water is rising, my ankles 728 00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:56,160 Speaker 1: are wet, the alarms are ringing. Okay, So Steve Francis 729 00:46:56,640 --> 00:47:01,960 Speaker 1: exactly as direct of homeless security investigations. I really don't 730 00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:03,759 Speaker 1: like when people do that, but I just did it, 731 00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:09,239 Speaker 1: like short whatever, whatevs. So this is what he had 732 00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:11,120 Speaker 1: to say about the return of the tablet. I'm gonna 733 00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:13,920 Speaker 1: I'm going to read you a quote I know you do. 734 00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:19,120 Speaker 1: Stealing a nation's cultural property and antiquities is one of 735 00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:24,440 Speaker 1: the oldest forms of organized transnational crime. While we recognize 736 00:47:24,480 --> 00:47:28,280 Speaker 1: cultural property, art, and antiquities are often assigned a dollar 737 00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:32,400 Speaker 1: value in the marketplace, the meaning of these historical national 738 00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:36,440 Speaker 1: treasures to the Iraqi people far surpasses any monetary value 739 00:47:36,960 --> 00:47:40,200 Speaker 1: we are proud to have helped in their recovery and return, 740 00:47:40,600 --> 00:47:44,120 Speaker 1: so future generations may continue to study and admire them 741 00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:47,279 Speaker 1: for years to come. That's a very nice sentiment. Yeah, 742 00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:50,440 Speaker 1: So what's ironic about that last statement is that in 743 00:47:50,560 --> 00:47:53,839 Speaker 1: the context of this whole thing in the time. Okay, 744 00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:55,839 Speaker 1: so if we talk about in the time of Gilgamesh, 745 00:47:57,040 --> 00:47:59,040 Speaker 1: he and his people didn't, like you know, the actual 746 00:47:59,080 --> 00:48:01,759 Speaker 1: Gilgamesh or whatever her, He and his people didn't really 747 00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:05,160 Speaker 1: believe in an afterlife. Oh, no heaven or help for them. Huh. Yeah. 748 00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:08,240 Speaker 1: Well they figured when you died, you just went underground 749 00:48:08,280 --> 00:48:13,600 Speaker 1: and ate clay. Like Steve Green I was like, who's 750 00:48:13,640 --> 00:48:17,320 Speaker 1: that on his lips? So I was like, did he 751 00:48:17,440 --> 00:48:20,520 Speaker 1: ever get Did he bury himself? Like in some sort 752 00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:24,160 Speaker 1: of illusion? Did he? Did? He? David Blainett for a 753 00:48:24,239 --> 00:48:28,200 Speaker 1: while at the museum they had Snit winter um. So 754 00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:31,200 Speaker 1: they felt that when you died, you just there was 755 00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:35,520 Speaker 1: really nothingness, and the goal was to get as much 756 00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:37,360 Speaker 1: as you could get out of life while you were alive. 757 00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:44,080 Speaker 1: So no great reward, no heaven. And that's what actually 758 00:48:44,239 --> 00:48:48,560 Speaker 1: in the epic bums Gilgamesh out so much that you know, 759 00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:54,080 Speaker 1: when he lost an ki do oh, sorry for the spoiler. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 760 00:48:55,120 --> 00:48:59,200 Speaker 1: He for real, you're just gonna spoil the epic. I know, 761 00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:02,680 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. That was really lame of me. I'm 762 00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:04,640 Speaker 1: so sorry. Yeah, I mean, like, maybe give people a 763 00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:07,479 Speaker 1: little bit of a warning. Has up spoiler alert plug 764 00:49:07,560 --> 00:49:14,640 Speaker 1: your ears. The first book ever, Gilgamesh loses his best buddy, 765 00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:19,960 Speaker 1: and he was terrified of that like dusty nothingness that 766 00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:23,719 Speaker 1: his good buddy was enduring, and so he then the 767 00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:26,279 Speaker 1: second part he goes on this quest to find the 768 00:49:26,400 --> 00:49:30,440 Speaker 1: key to immortality. We know that's not possible, do we 769 00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:36,960 Speaker 1: such a challenge? Like what have you been learning in 770 00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:42,759 Speaker 1: your physics? So of course you know, Gilgamesh fails in 771 00:49:42,840 --> 00:49:45,880 Speaker 1: this quest to find the key to immortality? How many siler? 772 00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:50,120 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, wow, I mean I just got I'm not 773 00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:53,000 Speaker 1: going to read the book now. I guess well, I 774 00:49:53,120 --> 00:50:00,640 Speaker 1: brought a tablet for you to do your cuneiform. So okay. 775 00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:02,920 Speaker 1: What he does come to realize is that he should 776 00:50:02,920 --> 00:50:06,080 Speaker 1: stop being this horrible, violent person that he is, and 777 00:50:06,200 --> 00:50:08,960 Speaker 1: that the way he'll be immortal is through his works. 778 00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:13,400 Speaker 1: So the wonderful things that he creates in the beautiful 779 00:50:13,520 --> 00:50:17,919 Speaker 1: life and the culture that he gives to others. That's 780 00:50:17,960 --> 00:50:20,440 Speaker 1: how he's going to live forever, and that's how anyone 781 00:50:20,520 --> 00:50:23,440 Speaker 1: can live forever and never be forgotten, just like the 782 00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:28,880 Speaker 1: tablet itself. Yeah, I used to deliver pizza for Orthodox 783 00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:32,080 Speaker 1: Jewish pizza place, and I learned a lot about the 784 00:50:32,239 --> 00:50:35,720 Speaker 1: Jewish culture, Jewish home life, and in particular Jewish faith 785 00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:37,960 Speaker 1: and like not just like the holidays cool, Like I 786 00:50:38,040 --> 00:50:39,920 Speaker 1: love Succote. I'm like into some of the stuff. But 787 00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:42,840 Speaker 1: the thing that I found the most fascinating was the 788 00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:48,000 Speaker 1: lack of any afterlife in the Jewish like the meta theology, right, 789 00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:51,239 Speaker 1: which is basically your reward of leading a good life, 790 00:50:51,719 --> 00:50:54,360 Speaker 1: you lead a good life. Yeah, I just love that 791 00:50:55,520 --> 00:50:58,160 Speaker 1: Heaven is my reward and heaven is the life I leave. Yeah, 792 00:50:58,760 --> 00:51:01,959 Speaker 1: I like that. Well. I also this called to mine 793 00:51:02,040 --> 00:51:04,120 Speaker 1: and I can't remember off the top of my head 794 00:51:04,200 --> 00:51:08,920 Speaker 1: because you know, I have like memory issues that I 795 00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:11,440 Speaker 1: think are just me being lazy brained. But aside from that, 796 00:51:12,200 --> 00:51:17,400 Speaker 1: there's that Shakespearean sonnet where he's trying to woo I 797 00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:21,560 Speaker 1: imagine that the dark lady is his love, his mistress. 798 00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:25,919 Speaker 1: The essential message of the sonnet. There's a section where 799 00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:29,360 Speaker 1: he's talking about like, you're going to live forever because 800 00:51:29,360 --> 00:51:32,320 Speaker 1: I'm gonna write about you. And I always thought that 801 00:51:32,400 --> 00:51:35,320 Speaker 1: was the most amazing kind of self centered thing, like 802 00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:38,799 Speaker 1: don't worry, baby, you'll be everyone's gonna remember you because 803 00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:41,920 Speaker 1: I'm going to write about you. You're welcome, And it's 804 00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:45,080 Speaker 1: the most male writer thing ever. You know what, I'm 805 00:51:45,080 --> 00:51:50,600 Speaker 1: gonna make you worthwhile forever. So stealing ancient treasures will come. 806 00:51:50,640 --> 00:51:54,080 Speaker 1: I'm gonna come back around stealing ancient treasures like some 807 00:51:54,239 --> 00:51:59,719 Speaker 1: sort of strip Molly Indiana Jones, totally ridiculous, becoming obsessed 808 00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:03,920 Speaker 1: with acquiring these rarities without a care for the legality, 809 00:52:04,400 --> 00:52:09,000 Speaker 1: morality of the process. Ridiculous and American. Oh sorry, but 810 00:52:09,400 --> 00:52:12,880 Speaker 1: a tablet from Gilgamesh living out its final moral of 811 00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:17,440 Speaker 1: the story. That is ridiculously cool. And that is my 812 00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:23,839 Speaker 1: ridiculous takeaway. That's yours, my ridiculous takeaway. Um, if you're 813 00:52:23,880 --> 00:52:26,840 Speaker 1: going to get addicted to something that's ancient, make it 814 00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:29,879 Speaker 1: something like Himalayan salt. It's much easier to get. That's 815 00:52:29,880 --> 00:52:33,320 Speaker 1: good advice, right, I'm thinking it's good, well done. I 816 00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:39,800 Speaker 1: like it. So you can find us online, You Zarin 817 00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:43,080 Speaker 1: can find online because I've been wondering where we are 818 00:52:43,239 --> 00:52:47,839 Speaker 1: at Ridiculous Crime on both Twitter and Instagram. And if 819 00:52:47,880 --> 00:52:50,080 Speaker 1: you have a tip for us about Ridiculous Crime that 820 00:52:50,200 --> 00:52:52,480 Speaker 1: you want to hear about. You want to tell us 821 00:52:52,480 --> 00:52:55,320 Speaker 1: about something naughty you've done that's a little bit ridiculous 822 00:52:55,920 --> 00:53:00,440 Speaker 1: within bounds, I guess email us at ridiculous Crime gmail 823 00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:08,239 Speaker 1: dot com. I am Elizabeth Dutton and you are Oh. 824 00:53:08,440 --> 00:53:09,680 Speaker 1: I thought you were going to say it. Oh by 825 00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:13,080 Speaker 1: m Zara Burnett. But don't spread that around. Yes, thank 826 00:53:13,160 --> 00:53:15,480 Speaker 1: you for joining us. Keep that under your head until 827 00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:24,480 Speaker 1: next time. Ridiculous Crime is hosted by Elizabeth Dutton and 828 00:53:24,600 --> 00:53:28,560 Speaker 1: Zaren Burnett. It is expertly produced and edited by inveterate 829 00:53:28,640 --> 00:53:33,279 Speaker 1: scrap booker Dave Kusten. Research is by aggressive quilter Marissa Brown. 830 00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:36,759 Speaker 1: The theme song is by fanciful ribbon collector Thomas Lee 831 00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:41,400 Speaker 1: and female play artisan Travis Dutton. Executive producers are speedmitter 832 00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:47,560 Speaker 1: Ben Bolan and model plane mechanic Noel Brown. Ridiculous Crime 833 00:53:47,680 --> 00:53:50,240 Speaker 1: is a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts 834 00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:53,360 Speaker 1: my heart Radio, visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, 835 00:53:53,480 --> 00:53:55,280 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.