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Speaker 1: Today, we're speaking with Greta from the Bevy and Elite

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Speaker 1: matchmaking service based in LA and.

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Speaker 2: New York City.

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Speaker 3: Hi Bethany, how are you?

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Speaker 2: Nice to meet you?

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Speaker 4: Nice to meet you. Let me just expand my screen

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Speaker 4: here so I can see you. You look nice and

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Speaker 4: rested from your vacation.

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Speaker 1: Oh, thank you, thank you. So you have a partner

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Speaker 1: and you're matchmakers?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 3: Correct?

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Speaker 2: Okay, how long have you been doing this?

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Speaker 4: I've been doing this for almost fourteen years now.

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Speaker 1: And the business is called what the Bevy?

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Speaker 4: Right?

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Speaker 3: The Bevy?

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Speaker 1: The Bevy? Okay, what does that mean? Where did that

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Speaker 1: come from?

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Speaker 3: The name came from.

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Speaker 4: I wanted to create a name that wasn't so sort

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Speaker 4: of cupids and coffee and clouds and all those things.

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Speaker 4: I wanted something a little edgy or a little bit

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Speaker 4: more modern, and also sort of the idea of a

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Speaker 4: house or a club, even though we don't do anything social,

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Speaker 4: so just a group similar to you know, private clubs

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Speaker 4: or something like that. So BEV means like a bevy

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Speaker 4: of beauty's. That's really where it's stemming from.

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Speaker 1: Okay, And from my perspective, it seems like your business

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Speaker 1: is more niche and more like Barney's than commercial, Like

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Speaker 1: it doesn't feel like if I were to Google matchmaking

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Speaker 1: or high end matchmaking or something like that, I don't

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Speaker 1: know that your name would come up, not unlike what

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Speaker 1: you're saying, like a private club. So is there a

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Speaker 1: difference to the brand? Are you smaller? Do you have

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Speaker 1: small fewer clients? Do you charge more?

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Speaker 4: Like?

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Speaker 1: And I know that your business you represent the men.

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Speaker 1: The men are the client the paying clients.

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Speaker 3: Right, correct?

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Speaker 2: Yes, okay, So what about my estimation or how I

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Speaker 2: see it? Is that correct or? Now?

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Speaker 4: I think that's a pretty perfect analogy. I always say

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Speaker 4: we're boutique shopping versus department store shopping. So I would

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Speaker 4: go even on a more on a smaller scale than Barney's.

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Speaker 4: I would say, it's like even more exclusive. But Barneys

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Speaker 4: is a good example.

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Speaker 1: Sure, And so how many people are you servicing at

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Speaker 1: the same time?

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Speaker 2: Is that how it works?

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Speaker 1: Like you'd say, we won't take more than this, and

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Speaker 1: we charge more because we're giving them, you know, more

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Speaker 1: of us private school service versus public like more attention

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Speaker 1: per client.

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Speaker 4: I think you know, we're very high touch service. And

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Speaker 4: just like when you're shopping in a boutique, you want

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Speaker 4: to know the people that you're working with, and then

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Speaker 4: they get to know your taste, and it becomes this

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Speaker 4: personal connection and sort of a service where you feel

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Speaker 4: like or even at a restaurant, when you know the

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Speaker 4: waiter or the hostess or the barttend there's this like

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Speaker 4: sense of comfort, and we wanted people to have that feeling.

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Speaker 4: So we do limit our clients. We work for them men.

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Speaker 4: We take up to about twenty five clients at once,

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Speaker 4: so it's very low volume but very high touch.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so you're really curating this experience and how we

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Speaker 1: can get into why that would make you an expert?

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Speaker 1: What's the target audience that your client is? Like, the

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Speaker 1: man is what age to what age? What's the youngest really?

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Speaker 1: I mean, you might have someone in their twenties, but

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Speaker 1: what's really the range I would.

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Speaker 4: Say, you know, sure, we've had clients in their twenties,

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Speaker 4: but I'd say it starts around thirty five. We do

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Speaker 4: have some like young successful men recently that have had

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Speaker 4: a lot of success at a younger age, but I'd

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Speaker 4: say on average, it's about between thirty five and fifty five.

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Speaker 4: And now actually it really varies. It's gone up into

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Speaker 4: the sixties and seventies recently, and then there are other

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Speaker 4: times where we see there's a lot of younger men.

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Speaker 4: We try to fill the gaps and you know, have

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Speaker 4: a good variety of men because obviously we want to

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Speaker 4: service them and give them, you know, consistency.

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Speaker 1: And if you have seven fifty five year olds, they're

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Speaker 1: all competing with each other. With the women, you're going

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Speaker 1: to find correct. Okay, So, like let's say what sweet

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Speaker 1: spot is, like forty eight, fifty two, like fifty that's

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Speaker 1: like what? Because I would imagine someone has to have

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Speaker 1: disposable income, they made some money.

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Speaker 3: Right, I would say yeah.

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Speaker 4: I would say on the older half it's probably mid

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Speaker 4: fifties and on the younger half it's late thirties, early forties.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So what are you finding that is a really

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Speaker 1: common thread that men want?

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Speaker 2: What do men want?

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Speaker 4: I would say a good sense of self. So a

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Speaker 4: woman who knows who she is, who's independent, meaning that

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Speaker 4: she has her own friends, she has her own goals,

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Speaker 4: she has their own passions. You know, I think they

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Speaker 4: want intellectual stimulation, but I think the good sense of

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Speaker 4: self is super important understanding who they are, what they want,

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Speaker 4: what they like, what they don't like. I think it

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Speaker 4: also depends on the stage of dating, so I could

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Speaker 4: break it into two parts. It's the people who are

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Speaker 4: just starting and want to build a family and do

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Speaker 4: all that, and then there's the people starting their second

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Speaker 4: or third chapter where they're with kids, and it's it's

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Speaker 4: a totally different ballgame kind of because you know, maybe

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Speaker 4: religion or you know, trying to start a family, that's

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Speaker 4: not as important in that second chapter of life because

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Speaker 4: you've already done it right in both stages, I think

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Speaker 4: a good sense of self is important and not to

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Speaker 4: be you know, lost, or not to sort of piggyback.

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Speaker 4: I feel like men really wants a woman who is

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Speaker 4: like confident.

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Speaker 1: Well, this is very This is very, very interesting because

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Speaker 1: I've heard from different matchmakers different things, and I like

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Speaker 1: when there's something new because we can add a toolkit.

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Speaker 1: We've talked about compatibility with one person. We've talked about

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Speaker 1: an energy match, which is really different, and then tools

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Speaker 1: for when you're dating. But often I think I have

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Speaker 1: not had a problem meeting men in my life, and

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Speaker 1: I've sometimes surprised myself because I've said to myself as

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Speaker 1: I've gotten older, wow, this is going to be harder

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Speaker 1: now and what I always come back to in my mind,

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Speaker 1: but I'm not. I haven't generalized it as much as you.

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Speaker 1: What I've come back to is that I've done well

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Speaker 1: because I have my own career and my own independence

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Speaker 1: and my own frankly money. But you're making it something

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Speaker 1: that's interesting because it may not be someone could be

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Speaker 1: working in charity, someone could be a yoga teacher. Someone

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Speaker 1: may not have my financial resources or the level of

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Speaker 1: my career. But if they have a strong sense of self,

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Speaker 1: which I also do have like someone meaning they have

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Speaker 1: their own identity, their own program. And I find that

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Speaker 1: a lot of women want to fold into a man's program.

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Speaker 1: And while that might seem attractive to a man in

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Speaker 1: the beginning, because obviously it doesn't want their way or

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Speaker 1: the highway, they may not respect that. And it also

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Speaker 1: goes the other way, in my opinion, with women with men.

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Speaker 1: Some men just like fold fold into a women's program.

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Speaker 1: I think it goes on both sides, but for a

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Speaker 1: woman it's particularly important because traditionally women seem to want

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Speaker 1: to get the ring, get the dress, get the whole thing,

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Speaker 1: and like just be home waiting for the man. And

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Speaker 1: I think that that's where someone loses themselves and something

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Speaker 1: else I wanted to discuss. Yeah, you said sense of self,

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Speaker 1: and I'm saying women lose themselves. And what I have found,

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Speaker 1: without getting into detail, is I have met a strong,

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Speaker 1: a staggering percentage of men that I have met that

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Speaker 1: have been interested in me, who have custody of their

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Speaker 1: children because the wife started, you know, getting into things

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Speaker 1: that maybe they shouldn't have gotten into, and lost themselves

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Speaker 1: and have made poor decisions in their own lives, and

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Speaker 1: as a result, the men have custody. And I've in

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Speaker 1: my mind seen this in a lot of suburban communities

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Speaker 1: with bored housewives. They lived everything for their husband and

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Speaker 1: then they get bored and maybe they're drinking, maybe they're partying,

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Speaker 1: maybe they want.

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Speaker 2: To get a little action.

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Speaker 1: And it's crazy how that that pendulum swings a woman

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Speaker 1: who seems like she's on top of the world when

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Speaker 1: they meet her, and then she dissolves or deteriorates. And

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Speaker 1: I think what you're saying, that's that's about purpose, that's

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Speaker 1: about self. And I think it's very interesting what you're

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Speaker 1: talking about.

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Speaker 3: And I think it's also not only just losing your

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Speaker 3: sense of self and someone like your husband or vice versa,

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Speaker 3: but also just trying to be something that you're not

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Speaker 3: and that you see that again, so you know, someone

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Speaker 3: else's light or being like having no identity or good

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Speaker 3: sense of self and just being like that woman over there.

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Speaker 2: Well, what you're saying, I've heard too.

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Speaker 4: I heard.

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Speaker 1: I was speaking to a very wealthy man who was

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Speaker 1: married to this woman who's been married multiple times, and

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Speaker 1: he said, she's the woman you were out with her.

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Speaker 1: You said you were into lacrosse. She was into lacrosse.

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Speaker 1: You were into you know, football on Sundays. She was

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Speaker 1: into football on Sundays and chicken wings. Like she would

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Speaker 1: fold into what you wanted her to be because she

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Speaker 1: wanted to lie the man. Yeah, but that how long

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Speaker 1: can you go on with that? Because it's back to

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Speaker 1: what you're saying. And I just think the self thing

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Speaker 1: is really fascinating and simple.

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Speaker 2: It's simple.

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Speaker 1: It's maybe not simple for someone to find themselves because

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Speaker 1: people don't even know who they are sometimes, but to

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Speaker 1: at least be honest, even if you are flawed or

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Speaker 1: having problems, are struggling, to be honest and live in

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Speaker 1: that without being a train wreck.

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Speaker 3: I would say, yeah, and you just have to ask yourself.

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Speaker 4: I think you know when you're looking for love and

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Speaker 4: dating and even when you're in a relationship, is just

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Speaker 4: asking yourself the right questions. And you know to do

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Speaker 4: that a lot, you know, connecting with yourself, like, well,

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Speaker 4: it makes you happy, what makes you feel safe? What

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Speaker 4: makes you know? What brings you happiness.

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Speaker 1: Well, we've talked about someone being a full person on

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Speaker 1: their own before wanting to look for a relationship. And

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Speaker 1: often someone gets out of a relationship, or someone's getting older,

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Speaker 1: or it is living in fear and wants to make

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Speaker 1: it happen and rush and you end up making poor

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Speaker 1: decisions because you don't have your own strong identity and

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Speaker 1: sense of self to your point, and I think that

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Speaker 1: I see a lot of rushing and I think I've

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Speaker 1: done I don't want to say rushing. But you see

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Speaker 1: something great and you go to the mall, you see

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Speaker 1: something great and you're just like, okay, I'll take that,

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Speaker 1: and versus like being patient. So it's a ridiculous thing

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Speaker 1: to say how long should it take? Because someone could

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Speaker 1: meet someone at the dry cleaner today and fall in love.

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Speaker 1: But do you feel that it's a time consuming process

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Speaker 1: to really find what you're looking for and that you're

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Speaker 1: seeing that people do have the tendency to rush.

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Speaker 3: For sure.

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Speaker 4: I think everyone likes the comfort of being in a relationship.

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Speaker 4: You know, there's a wedding coming, there's a vacation, you

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Speaker 4: want to have that person to bring. Often there's some

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Speaker 4: people who are just now comfortable being alone. They don't

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Speaker 4: like the time to themselves, And I think if you're

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Speaker 4: a person like I, that you should definitely work on

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Speaker 4: it because it's important, you know, to reflect in your

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Speaker 4: own sort of environment and your own thoughts, and especially

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Speaker 4: if you're getting out of a relationship and wanting to

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Speaker 4: get into another one, you have to take the time

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Speaker 4: to reflect and be alone. And even if you meet

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Speaker 4: someone and you're like smitten, head over heels, I think,

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Speaker 4: don't put all your eggs among basket, Like really take

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Speaker 4: the time and maybe give yourself an internal timeline. Say

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Speaker 4: I'm going to give this, you know, I'm going to

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Speaker 4: date for three months and not commit to anyone solely,

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Speaker 4: and then maybe I'll narrow it down.

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Speaker 1: That's amazing because I took months to just like heal

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Speaker 1: and do therapy, and it doesn't it could be longer

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Speaker 1: than six to eight months who knows. But then then

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Speaker 1: once the clock starts and you decide you're going to date.

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Speaker 1: I also said to myself, I was going to take

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Speaker 1: a certain period of time to not you know, to

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Speaker 1: have the burners going, the multiple Viking burner's going. I

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Speaker 1: call it something on boil, something on simmer or take

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Speaker 1: everything off. And sometimes you feel like you're not driving someone.

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Speaker 1: You meet someone and they're love bombing you or or

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Speaker 1: like they want you to lock it down or make

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Speaker 1: a decision because they are. And I think that takes

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Speaker 1: some self discipline too, to the point, like to sort

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Speaker 1: of just be clear with someone where you are in

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Speaker 1: your process, because you're not afraid that you're going to

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Speaker 1: lose that like you want to you know what I mean,

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Speaker 1: being not afraid that you'll lose them if you don't

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Speaker 1: commit right away.

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Speaker 4: And I think it just telling them that say, I

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Speaker 4: really like you and I don't want to lose you,

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Speaker 4: but I'm not ready to take it to that level

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Speaker 4: right now. I just want you to know that it's

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Speaker 4: not because I dislike you or don't think that you're

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Speaker 4: great for me. I just I can't move into that

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Speaker 4: phase at this very moment. So either they can respect that,

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Speaker 4: or they say I'm sorry, I have to move on

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Speaker 4: because I want to move to that level with someone,

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Speaker 4: and you know what, say okay, because they might come back.

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Speaker 4: You never know.

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Speaker 1: Well, that's an interesting thing too that it seems like

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Speaker 1: many matchmakers, as much as they want to make a match,

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Speaker 1: they also seem to want someone to really play the field.

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Speaker 1: And what does that mean? Does that mean you know,

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Speaker 1: filler guys? Like is there such a thing as just

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Speaker 1: go out with them and have a good time even

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Speaker 1: if it's not going to be something or or can

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Speaker 1: someone not emotionally handle that? Does every person that someone's

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Speaker 1: going out with have to be a possibility? Like recently

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Speaker 1: there was someone that was very interested in me and

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Speaker 1: I just didn't think that it was the right fit.

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Speaker 1: And I believe that you have to take responsibility not

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Speaker 1: only for your own feelings, but if you find that

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Speaker 1: someone else is a good or kind person for theirs

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Speaker 1: also and to like cut them loose, not let them.

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Speaker 1: I call it twisting in the wind, like you be

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Speaker 1: honest about it, versus just sometimes playing the field can

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Speaker 1: be insensitive. I think in the beginning, if you just

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Speaker 1: met someone and they're a perfect stranger, if they do

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Speaker 1: something that you don't love and it feels like it's

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Speaker 1: not a fit. You don't have to worry about the

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Speaker 1: bedside manner. But I do think in the dating process,

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Speaker 1: you know, so I'm asking you about those like sort

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Speaker 1: of in between purgatory men that you're not sure. But

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Speaker 1: I mean, you're supposed to just like have someone that

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Speaker 1: seems convenient, or it's supposed to be only quality versus quantity.

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Speaker 4: I think again, I think if you've just gone through

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Speaker 4: a breakup, maybe you take that time before you would

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Speaker 4: hire or join a service like ours. I think it's

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Speaker 4: important to you know, explore and have some fun and

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Speaker 4: do whatever it is you need to do for you.

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Speaker 4: And then once you move into this you know outlet,

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Speaker 4: I think then it's about finding the right person and

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Speaker 4: like you said, not stringing them along if it's not

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Speaker 4: a good fit. So when we take our clients on

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Speaker 4: and we are setting up people, it is with intention,

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Speaker 4: and it is with you know, a lot of thought,

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Speaker 4: and in the beginning, you know, there might be some

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Speaker 4: trial and error because it's just like when you hire

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Speaker 4: a trainer or anything, and they sort of need to

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Speaker 4: get to know your body, just like we need to

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Speaker 4: know your taste, emotions, all these things. But we are

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Speaker 4: really thoughtful about people who're introducing both our members are

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Speaker 4: female members and our male clients too, because we don't

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Speaker 4: want to waste their time and it just creates more

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Speaker 4: work for us.

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Speaker 2: So it should take a while in life.

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Speaker 1: And the thing is, I think so I've advised businesses

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Speaker 1: and some people can't afford a publicist and explain to

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Speaker 1: them how to be their own publicist.

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Speaker 2: And you know, I don't have an agent.

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Speaker 1: Most people at my level in entertainment that get the

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Speaker 1: kind of deals I get have an agent.

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Speaker 2: But we do it ourselves.

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Speaker 1: So and I also went through a ten year horrendous

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Speaker 1: divorce and I ended up with primary custody and no

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Speaker 1: child support. And I was largely responsible for that because

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Speaker 1: in many ways it became my own lawyer within, you know,

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Speaker 1: with the support of my law So the reason I

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Speaker 1: say all that is not everybody can afford a matchmaker,

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Speaker 1: and I do believe people can be their own matchmaker.

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Speaker 1: And so how would you say people should navigate it.

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Speaker 1: I have seen, I've dabbled on some of the apps.

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Speaker 1: They can be daunting and scary, and some can seem

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Speaker 1: like a you know TJ Max where you could find

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Speaker 1: a why a cell bag, but you could also find

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Speaker 1: a cracked mabeling compact. And I've seen the ones that

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Speaker 1: are supposed to be higher end and then people are

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Speaker 1: sort of posing. So how do you feel in twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty four someone is supposed to do this and navigate

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Speaker 1: this on their own and how you know, deep does

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Speaker 1: the research need to be?

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Speaker 4: Like?

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Speaker 1: What are some tools you would say for being your

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Speaker 1: own matchmaker?

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Speaker 3: I think listen.

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Speaker 4: I think the apps are a great you know, invention

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Speaker 4: and an outlet for people. I think there's a land

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Speaker 4: for every pot. And if that's what you want to use,

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Speaker 4: if that's the only thing you can be is because

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Speaker 4: maybe you're an introvert, you live in you know, there's

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Speaker 4: no restaurants, who knows. I mean, there's so many different

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Speaker 4: reasons that people use them, and I think it's so

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Speaker 4: wonderful in so many ways. But I also think that

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Speaker 4: it can be incredibly you know a lot of false information,

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Speaker 4: a lot of fake and you know, like just leading

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Speaker 4: people on never meeting cat fishing, and I think I

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Speaker 4: think there's it's also it's a lot of work. So

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Speaker 4: I think anyone who has access to people and friends

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Speaker 4: and other resources should use those And it's really just

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Speaker 4: going back to, like, you know, what you did in

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Speaker 4: the past. Ask your friends if they have any single friends.

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Speaker 4: Ask your married events who if they have any single friends.

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Speaker 4: You know, join a tennis team, you know, chess club,

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Speaker 4: go on a trip by yourself, go to a city

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Speaker 4: that you've never been to and sit at the bar,

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Speaker 4: and you know, just be present instead of playing on

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Speaker 4: your phone the whole time. I think there's so many

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Speaker 4: ways you can meet people, and you know, you sort

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Speaker 4: of when you do that, you sort of exude this

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Speaker 4: energy and this way, like I'm willing to be approached,

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Speaker 4: which is so infrequent these days because everyone's attached to

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Speaker 4: their devices. So I think it's important to use the

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Speaker 4: other outlets as well unless you have no other option.

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Speaker 1: That is, how are you finding how well you really

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Speaker 1: represent the men? So how are they finding you? How

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Speaker 1: are you finding them?

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Speaker 2: Are you seeking?

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Speaker 1: Are the men seeking you at or are you sometimes

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Speaker 1: seeing well, this guy seems eligible, he's single, I want

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Speaker 1: to work with him, Like how does that work?

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Speaker 4: So most of the time we're not seeking out the men.

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Speaker 4: They're coming to us and they look about us through

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Speaker 4: a friend through a girlfriend, through you know, a colleague.

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Speaker 4: So many ways we don't advertise, so it's through a

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Speaker 4: creferral base. There's editorials on us, so I would say

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Speaker 4: five to ten percent find us through reading an article

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Speaker 4: or listening to a podcast. But I would say most

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Speaker 4: people come to us through a referral. And the only

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Speaker 4: time that I would say we reached out to them

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Speaker 4: is if you know, someone feels uncomfortable or doesn't have

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Speaker 4: the confidence, or doesn't feel like they might need us

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Speaker 4: because a friend has told them to reach out, So

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Speaker 4: they'll give us their email or phone number and we'll

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Speaker 4: reach out to that.

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Speaker 1: Now, why do you only represent Oh, first of all,

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Speaker 1: how many women are in your stable? So you said,

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Speaker 1: like twenty men. How many women are in your stable?

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Speaker 4: So we've I mean, now after many years, I mean

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Speaker 4: we have thousands of women. It doesn't mean that everyone

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Speaker 4: necessarily goes out. So the women pay no fee. They

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Speaker 4: have to go through our process, which is extensive to

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Speaker 4: a certain you know, a certain extent. I would say,

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Speaker 4: you know, you have to we have certain prerequisites, and

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Speaker 4: you also have to have an in person interview. We

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Speaker 4: have to talk about your criteria and what you're looking for.

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Speaker 4: But there are no guarantees.

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Speaker 1: So you said that many women and what your reason

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Speaker 1: was for choosing to represent men and not women like

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Speaker 1: you primarily and have them as clients.

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Speaker 4: Sure, and that reason was purely a supply demand. You know,

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Speaker 4: when I started the business with Nikki, my business pred

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Speaker 4: we just had a larger network of women than that.

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Speaker 4: So the idea came from you know, it stemmed from

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Speaker 4: my single girlfriends being thirty years old now almost forty five, saying,

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Speaker 4: you know, how do I meet men? Now, this is

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Speaker 4: in two thousand and nine, before the apps even existed,

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Speaker 4: and there was you know, we were all on Blackberries

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Speaker 4: and you know, Match dot com, e Harmony and shade A.

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Speaker 3: We're just scratching the surface.

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Speaker 4: But none of my friends would have been on them

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Speaker 4: because it was so it was had such a bad

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Speaker 4: stigma at that. Yes, yes, now it's so much more accepted,

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Speaker 4: which is great, but it stammed from my weren't going

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Speaker 4: to like nightclubs, We weren't really meeting people at bars,

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Speaker 4: and like what guy hadn't one of our friends dated

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Speaker 4: or whatever it was. And then the competitors that the

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Speaker 4: market I did market research. There was nothing out there

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Speaker 4: that was really I felt that was really sophisticated and edgy,

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Speaker 4: nothing that my friends would have or my network would

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Speaker 4: have gravitated towards. So I wanted to create something that

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Speaker 4: my people would say, Okay, this actually feels more like

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Speaker 4: my taste. And at the time, to answer your question,

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Speaker 4: you know my network of you know, I'm twenty nine thirty,

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Speaker 4: I just had a larger network of women. So I

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Speaker 4: felt like I didn't want to service both parties because

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Speaker 4: then I was just trying to fill a quota. If

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Speaker 4: I was charging both sides, then I had to work

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Speaker 4: for both sides. And if you're you know, you're just

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Speaker 4: charging one, then you're working for him and then you

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Speaker 4: can get a larger number on the other side.

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Speaker 1: Wow. Okay, and so what are you finding that women

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Speaker 1: are doing wrong the most on these dates? You're get

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Speaker 1: The thing is you are an interesting person to interview

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Speaker 1: because you're getting the feedback from the men. So it's

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Speaker 1: not a mixed bag here, which yes, but are the

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Speaker 1: do the women feel like there is comfortable to complain?

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Speaker 1: Aren't they excited because they're not paying you? I mean

440
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:20,399
Speaker 1: the men are more of the picky customers, right or

441
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:22,480
Speaker 1: the women are fully like telling you what they think.

442
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:24,760
Speaker 4: They're fully telling us what they think.

443
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,080
Speaker 1: Okay, so let's do both. All right, great, So let's

444
00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:29,440
Speaker 1: go with the men first, who are paying customers. What's

445
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:31,240
Speaker 1: the range of money? Is there a range or it's

446
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:32,119
Speaker 1: one flat fee?

447
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:34,960
Speaker 4: No, there's the range. I can talk about it. We

448
00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:37,879
Speaker 4: chalked about forty to sixty thousand dollars and that's for

449
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:38,920
Speaker 4: a year contract.

450
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:39,600
Speaker 2: Okay.

451
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:42,800
Speaker 4: We have offered trials in the past because we want

452
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:44,959
Speaker 4: to give this opportunity to people who might not have

453
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:48,280
Speaker 4: the means for a lower cost. So we have done

454
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:48,760
Speaker 4: that as well.

455
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:50,240
Speaker 1: I love that we need to do a dating We

456
00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:53,040
Speaker 1: need to do a dating matchmaking charity.

457
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:55,120
Speaker 2: Not for yeah.

458
00:22:55,680 --> 00:23:01,200
Speaker 4: People, you know, people gifted to like oh, business partner brothers.

459
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:04,560
Speaker 1: That's smart, it's good gift Christmas lists everybody Honika lists. Okay,

460
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:08,840
Speaker 1: So what are men saying they come back from the date?

461
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:12,120
Speaker 1: Give me the top three to five things that they're

462
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:15,159
Speaker 1: coming back and saying that you're hearing often that you

463
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:18,240
Speaker 1: just wish women? Is it they're drinking too much, they

464
00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:19,480
Speaker 1: didn't have manicures?

465
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:20,320
Speaker 2: Like, what is it?

466
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:24,359
Speaker 4: I would say in the most recent experience, it's less

467
00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:29,160
Speaker 4: about the physical stuff because I think we've become even

468
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:32,560
Speaker 4: piguer about who we let into the membership. So being

469
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:35,639
Speaker 4: polished is super important for us, especially when on a

470
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:39,400
Speaker 4: date it's like put your you know, come as your

471
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:40,199
Speaker 4: best self.

472
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:43,480
Speaker 1: That's exactly what another match maker said to now ladies

473
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:46,320
Speaker 1: who are listening, we're getting like we have like themes

474
00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:49,000
Speaker 1: we must listen, said that a man wants a woman

475
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:50,560
Speaker 1: that looks like she made an effort.

476
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:51,560
Speaker 2: Does she smell good?

477
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:54,040
Speaker 1: Did she look like she just that's okay, So you're

478
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,639
Speaker 1: saying put your best foot forward. So all right, so sorry,

479
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:58,520
Speaker 1: So what are men complaining about?

480
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:02,320
Speaker 4: I think so sometimes and this goes for both sides,

481
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:07,000
Speaker 4: that the other parties not asking enough questions about them,

482
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:09,919
Speaker 4: you know, whether it's their past or their goals, or

483
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:14,600
Speaker 4: asking the wrong questions. I think on both sides. Often,

484
00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:18,720
Speaker 4: you know, people need to be more thoughtful about what

485
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:23,800
Speaker 4: they're asking their date if they care. I think, you know,

486
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,600
Speaker 4: what do you do for work? And like what are

487
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:31,720
Speaker 4: your hobbies? Like that's kind of just surface layer. I

488
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:36,879
Speaker 4: think it's important people think about the deeper questions to

489
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:39,480
Speaker 4: see if there's really a connection there.

490
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:40,920
Speaker 2: That's interesting.

491
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:44,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's an essence, someone's essence versus just the checking

492
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:45,400
Speaker 1: the boxes.

493
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:50,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think and in our in our business, you know,

494
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:54,240
Speaker 4: we tell each party a lot about the person before

495
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:57,639
Speaker 4: they actually meet, but they don't and so they know

496
00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:03,120
Speaker 4: the sort of foundational stuff. But then that first date

497
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:05,720
Speaker 4: is really need to ask about whatever you want to

498
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:08,560
Speaker 4: talk about, and maybe it's something. We've told them what

499
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:11,600
Speaker 4: their favorite book is and they said, you know, it's interesting.

500
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:13,919
Speaker 4: I can't believe that's your favorite book. I read it

501
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:15,880
Speaker 4: and I didn't get that sense or I didn't feel

502
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:17,520
Speaker 4: that way. Why did you like it so much?

503
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:18,280
Speaker 3: Whatever it may be.

504
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:35,280
Speaker 1: What about money? How important is money to both sides?

505
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:39,520
Speaker 1: How much does money come up in dating in your business?

506
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:46,200
Speaker 4: Not very much. I would say everyone is educated, accomplished,

507
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:49,680
Speaker 4: successful in their own right, and that doesn't mean they

508
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:51,840
Speaker 4: have to have millions of dollars in the bank. But

509
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:54,879
Speaker 4: they do have to be I would say, doing something

510
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:58,439
Speaker 4: that they care about, and you can, you know, you

511
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:01,600
Speaker 4: can be a successful writer. It doesn't mean you're necessarily

512
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:05,000
Speaker 4: making a lot of money. So I think, you know,

513
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:08,320
Speaker 4: we do believe in chivalry, So I do believe if

514
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:11,000
Speaker 4: you are on a date, you know, man woman, the

515
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:14,880
Speaker 4: man should pay. I do I do too, It's never

516
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:18,040
Speaker 4: really come up for us, so we don't have that problem.

517
00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:18,960
Speaker 3: I think.

518
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:21,240
Speaker 4: You know, I've worked with the doctors and yes they've

519
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:23,359
Speaker 4: gone to medical school and they're in a ton of debt,

520
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:25,119
Speaker 4: but you know, their idea is to pay the muffle,

521
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:27,320
Speaker 4: So it doesn't come up that often. It really doesn't.

522
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:33,280
Speaker 4: I think it's more about just I think intellectual curiosity.

523
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:36,720
Speaker 4: So the questions that they're asking, are they really interested

524
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:40,480
Speaker 4: in each other? I think it's about not being distracted

525
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:44,240
Speaker 4: and really being present. So someone might say the women

526
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:46,480
Speaker 4: might complain that, you know, the guy was don his

527
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:49,960
Speaker 4: phone the whole time, and then he tells me, I'm sorry,

528
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:51,679
Speaker 4: I was closing a deal I should have you know,

529
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:53,760
Speaker 4: I didn't want to move the date because that was rude,

530
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:56,240
Speaker 4: but I had to answer these questions, so it's like,

531
00:26:57,040 --> 00:27:01,280
Speaker 4: that's hard. I think women complained maybe more about the

532
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:05,640
Speaker 4: dress and the physical than the men. But men might

533
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:09,680
Speaker 4: just feel like a woman is not engaged, that she's

534
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:13,160
Speaker 4: sort of drifting or looking who's you know, looking over

535
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:16,600
Speaker 4: his shoulder to see who else is coming in. So

536
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:20,399
Speaker 4: it's really about the I think the presence of someone,

537
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:23,400
Speaker 4: you know, are they engaged in the conversation at the time.

538
00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:26,280
Speaker 1: It's funny that you brought up the thing about the deal.

539
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:28,840
Speaker 1: Like years ago, I remember showing up at a door

540
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:30,440
Speaker 1: and a guy like putting his finger up, like wait

541
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:32,359
Speaker 1: one minute, and then being on a twenty minute phone

542
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:33,840
Speaker 1: call and he went in the other room and he

543
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:36,280
Speaker 1: didn't know that I left. I was ten blocks away,

544
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:38,359
Speaker 1: and he called and couldn't believe it. He called the

545
00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 1: person who set us up and was a gas and

546
00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:41,840
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, no, we're not. I mean, that

547
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:44,639
Speaker 1: was so incredibly rude. But I had that happen recently

548
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:47,600
Speaker 1: with a very successful man where he had something going

549
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:51,200
Speaker 1: on at work and he was super stressed out about it,

550
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:54,920
Speaker 1: and he proceeded to talk about it. He was staying

551
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:57,560
Speaker 1: in town for the weekend at a hotel nearby, and

552
00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:01,439
Speaker 1: he proceeded to talk about it the entire weekend. And

553
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:04,439
Speaker 1: I call that inside baseball, Like it'd be like me

554
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:07,280
Speaker 1: talking about a social media post that I got in

555
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:11,000
Speaker 1: trouble for, or a brand deal or something that is

556
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:14,800
Speaker 1: so inside baseball that you can't be how narcissistic can

557
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:16,399
Speaker 1: you be to think that the other person's going to

558
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 1: be like hooked in when they just met you the

559
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:20,280
Speaker 1: whole entire weekend, Like we're like, we're a couple and

560
00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:23,119
Speaker 1: we're both invested in this deal going down. So I

561
00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:25,160
Speaker 1: think that that's an interesting one because people get inside

562
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:27,359
Speaker 1: their head and think that what they think is interesting

563
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:28,639
Speaker 1: the other person is invested in.

564
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:32,239
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're so right, and that can happen often, and

565
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:34,919
Speaker 4: that's what's so beneficial of having a person like me

566
00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:37,800
Speaker 4: or my team in the background, so we can give

567
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:40,160
Speaker 4: you that feedback and they're like, oh, I didn't even

568
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,080
Speaker 4: realize I was doing that, or whatever it may be.

569
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:45,040
Speaker 1: How much is someone wrong about their gut instinct about

570
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:46,600
Speaker 1: what they think is someone I didn't like him, he

571
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,240
Speaker 1: seemed rude, he's seen whatever, and you're and then they

572
00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:51,520
Speaker 1: go back in and they were wrong or is usually

573
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 1: someone's first instinct correct.

574
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:57,480
Speaker 4: I always say, if you have any inkling, like any

575
00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:01,360
Speaker 4: feeling at all, to go on a second day, even

576
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:03,320
Speaker 4: if it's like, you know what, he's not going to

577
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:05,240
Speaker 4: be right for me because of this and that. But

578
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:08,360
Speaker 4: he was really cute and he's actually very charming and

579
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:10,600
Speaker 4: we had fun, but no, no, no, then I'm like, no,

580
00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:12,360
Speaker 4: you have to give it a second chance.

581
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,800
Speaker 1: Oh okay, unless it was like a hard no, like

582
00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:16,760
Speaker 1: a guttural no.

583
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 2: You're saying, I got a second chance.

584
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 3: Why think so?

585
00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:23,200
Speaker 4: I think because first dates are hard and you don't

586
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 4: know what's happened that day or what's going on in

587
00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:28,320
Speaker 4: their life, really, because you're both sort of sitting there

588
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:30,920
Speaker 4: and just meeting each other for the first time. And

589
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:36,080
Speaker 4: I think it's important to give someone a second chance

590
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:39,440
Speaker 4: because it's a date and it is important to them.

591
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:42,200
Speaker 4: But I don't know. Maybe they didn't get enough sleep

592
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:45,120
Speaker 4: the night before and they're not trying to make that excuse,

593
00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:47,760
Speaker 4: but they're there and they showed it up and they

594
00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:50,240
Speaker 4: want to spend time with you, but they're just not

595
00:29:50,600 --> 00:30:11,960
Speaker 4: their best self that the after, the after