Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello, it's Nikki. It's
Speaker 1: Nicki Glazer Podcast. Welcome to the show. It's Thursday, babies. Um,
Speaker 1: I am here in Santa Monica, California with my mother.
Speaker 1: She is visiting. What's up, Julia Glazer and nothing kidding
Speaker 1: so much? I just kidding, just kidding. You didn't even
Speaker 1: mean it to do that, and you just you're just
Speaker 1: just kidding. You have done this to me. No, you
Speaker 1: did not kidding until I was just kidding, and then
Speaker 1: it took off. It took off. I don't know what happened. Um.
Speaker 1: So she's here sitting here with me. Um, we had
Speaker 1: a little good morning. Uh. Andrew is in Austin, Texas?
Speaker 1: Is that correct? Yes? I am. I saw you bringing
Speaker 1: a Tobo Chico on on camera. I know that that
Speaker 1: is the national beverage of Austin, Texas. Have Why are
Speaker 1: top Chico so fucking good compared to any other sparkling water? Okay?
Speaker 1: I really yeah. I don't think everybody's talking about Oh
Speaker 1: my god. So I mean you take it down Topo.
Speaker 1: They're expensive, Well that's price. There is a superior taste
Speaker 1: to it. My mom's taste will be affected by the
Speaker 1: price tag of something. Last night, Chris was in her
Speaker 1: guest room is Chris's closet, and Chris had to go
Speaker 1: in there after she was in bed. He was like,
Speaker 1: I feel so bad. I gotta get a shirt for
Speaker 1: tomorrow and come on in, Chris, And so I knocked.
Speaker 1: I was like, can we come in? My mom's like
Speaker 1: laying in bed like a corpse. I said, come on in,
Speaker 1: come on and Chris, and she's sitting there in her
Speaker 1: ned with rosebud coming in that's just how you get
Speaker 1: ready for bed, that look. Yeah. And so he comes
Speaker 1: in and he is going through the closet to find
Speaker 1: a shirt and he pulls out a shirt and has
Speaker 1: a tag on it like it's brand new, and she goes, oh, newby,
Speaker 1: he got a newby And he starts laughing so hard.
Speaker 1: We were saying newbie in bed after you we went
Speaker 1: to bed for like twenty minutes. I just he just
Speaker 1: goes to your mom is so funny. I doesn't want
Speaker 1: to make him alive. He he laughs. It makes me
Speaker 1: realize how much he doesn't laugh at me when he
Speaker 1: surresds to him, like this guy is capable of like
Speaker 1: cracking up everything. We know. He looks at me and
Speaker 1: starts laughing. I don't know what I have done to him.
Speaker 1: He really does. Honestly, you are. You are like the
Speaker 1: funniest person to him. He just looks. I'm like, what now,
Speaker 1: I don't do anything? He will. The one time that
Speaker 1: really we can't get over it was when we went
Speaker 1: to see my dad perform and he asked my mom,
Speaker 1: you can get up there and sing tonight because sometimes
Speaker 1: she will, and she goes, no, Chris, I'm a broken woman.
Speaker 1: And I stamped by that. We were like, what does
Speaker 1: that even mean? But it's because her neck was sucked
Speaker 1: up the problem? Why are you a broken woman? When
Speaker 1: did your body start breaking? Like? When when should we
Speaker 1: get ready for it? Honestly, women me Andrew, it was yeah,
Speaker 1: it wasn't a day. It was just like, uh, my
Speaker 1: body hurts. I'm like, I didn't even do anything on you.
Speaker 1: Was just said as this clip of Patton Oswalt where
Speaker 1: he says turning fifty after fifty. Before fifty, he was like,
Speaker 1: I could walk into propeller blades and just put some
Speaker 1: back tea on it. And then after fifty, uh, my
Speaker 1: spine implodes because a leaf falls near me. It's kind
Speaker 1: of true. He said, I broke my ankle because I
Speaker 1: was stepping off a curb. It was like like like
Speaker 1: an aunt who like saw a bird like it was.
Speaker 1: He just was talking about how frail you get and
Speaker 1: on you was like, yeah, like she's feeling like her,
Speaker 1: she's feeling age. I'm not really feeling it yet, but
Speaker 1: I'm not. I get that, but I know it happens.
Speaker 1: I started. I started to hear you guys complain about
Speaker 1: your age. I feel like around my age, like thirty eight,
Speaker 1: when you're just like you would just get up and
Speaker 1: kind of go like those kinds of things, you know,
Speaker 1: hang out. Andrew. We know Andrew feels it because he, uh,
Speaker 1: what was the thing? All right? Follow that I can't
Speaker 1: get down at standing and I'm standing and I can't
Speaker 1: get down down there? Yeah he gets down. It's on
Speaker 1: the floor. The beds on the floor. You pay hundreds
Speaker 1: of dollars to sleep on the floor. I guess it's minimalists.
Speaker 1: They where where you can get to the beds the
Speaker 1: hotel or AIRPB hotel, hotel, and it has like a
Speaker 1: like there's not really it's a platform bedably, it's a platform,
Speaker 1: but it's so low though, I'm I hurt getting down
Speaker 1: off get on all fours like almost like a crowd position.
Speaker 1: You roll to all fours off the bed, and then
Speaker 1: can you get up from there? I guess it needs
Speaker 1: to have one of those McCanns thinks, aren't you doing
Speaker 1: burpies in there? That like you got to get on
Speaker 1: the ground and then get back up really quick, like
Speaker 1: aren't those part of your wait? And you can't get
Speaker 1: in the bed or out of the bed, which is it?
Speaker 1: He can't get out out? Yeah? Out and up? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's hard. Like when he's playing with his cat on
Speaker 1: the ground, he has trouble getting back up? Is that
Speaker 1: a thing for you? Yeah, that's a definite thing getting
Speaker 1: back A taller cat, well, that's why people go at
Speaker 1: greyhounds when they're old boys. Needs to be like one
Speaker 1: of those Halloween cats that like holds up its hand
Speaker 1: like it squeezes together and arches his back like really
Speaker 1: skinny and top of another cat. I need like, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: that would be cool. Um, do you have a cat
Speaker 1: power for your cat? One of those trump at the top,
Speaker 1: but really, do you have one of those? I always
Speaker 1: say his name on everything if I had a cat,
Speaker 1: I'd get one of those town I know they're cute. No,
Speaker 1: it's just that gives the cats something, right, instead of
Speaker 1: your curtains or your leg at your couch that he's
Speaker 1: going to tear. Well. Yeah, I think people don't not
Speaker 1: get a tower because they're like, I want him to
Speaker 1: rip my curtains up, because they just are lazy and cheap.
Speaker 1: Now that's something I wouldn't be so cheap one right,
Speaker 1: But much think sewer runs nowadays, I would say they nine.
Speaker 1: You could find one for easily on like Facebook Marketplace.
Speaker 1: People are trying to get one of those things and
Speaker 1: to be a goodwill good Well, go on Facebook Marketplace that.
Speaker 1: I loved Facebook Marketplace when I was furnishing my apartment.
Speaker 1: That's so fun. I look at it every day. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's good, it's fun. It's just what people are trying.
Speaker 1: I feel like that has more stuff on it than
Speaker 1: like Craigslist that isn't even look at Craig's anymore. It's
Speaker 1: it's a nightmare. Yeah, yeah, why because has any scan
Speaker 1: too much crap? Too much crap and you get through
Speaker 1: your marketplace search because are you going in there and
Speaker 1: you're just seeing what happens or well, right now, I'm
Speaker 1: looking for certain things because Matt and Lauren are looking
Speaker 1: for a couch and they want a specific couch. They
Speaker 1: want a joy bird. Well they would like a joy bird.
Speaker 1: But yeah I did. I did find a joy bird.
Speaker 1: Nice couches love sacks. That's what Chris and I are
Speaker 1: going to get nice. They sound sexual, Well, we are couch.
Speaker 1: We just talked about this like. There was something on
Speaker 1: Redd and I saw that said if if you ever
Speaker 1: go to someone's house, you just know that that couple
Speaker 1: has had sex on that couch and you're sitting on
Speaker 1: except you would have added that sexual. Yeah, that would
Speaker 1: be very sexual. I've probably had sex something euch, just kidding.
Speaker 1: I haven't just kidding. I haven't had sex coming in couch.
Speaker 1: I would not. That was that was the old to me.
Speaker 1: You guys ever replaced those couches since then? Those, Yeah,
Speaker 1: we gotta at somebody else's used couch. Then that someone
Speaker 1: else had sex on. I probably had sex on those
Speaker 1: when they were at other people's house. I got around
Speaker 1: at Saint Louis. God, I don't want a cat tower
Speaker 1: that other cats have fucked on. Oh yeah, everyone sucks
Speaker 1: on their on their cat powers. That's why I say
Speaker 1: cat one cat thro that that's so u. So I'm
Speaker 1: in Los Angeles with my mother. Oh wait, yeah, we
Speaker 1: wanted to know how you were searched on Facebook. So
Speaker 1: I'm kind of looking for a few things, and so
Speaker 1: I have pinpoints that I can just go to. Okay,
Speaker 1: couches and then I look at the couches for the day.
Speaker 1: What else am I fascinating? So you type in couches, Yeah,
Speaker 1: just type of Really No, I don't. I know, I
Speaker 1: did too, it's already in there. I don't already and
Speaker 1: I don't even have to type it. So when you
Speaker 1: go to the cursor, it just comes up as one
Speaker 1: of your things. Oh baby, Now what earth is a
Speaker 1: things that normal people wouldn't know? Going on Facebook? Marketplace
Speaker 1: that you know and you probably wouldn't even tell your
Speaker 1: secrets if you had them, But I don't think you
Speaker 1: have us. Here's the thing about that. It's all about
Speaker 1: timing you if you I mean, it's I mean, you
Speaker 1: gotta be on its. My mom, Yeah, my mom is
Speaker 1: constantly on Facebook. Market big coin is a love sack chair, Yes,
Speaker 1: no it is. This is my mom and my mom
Speaker 1: uses both hands to look at her phone. My mom,
Speaker 1: just can't. Have you ever just scrolled your phone with
Speaker 1: one hand? I cannot. She does this and it's this
Speaker 1: close to her face, and she's what's the one window
Speaker 1: hold the phone and the other pointer finger to scroll,
Speaker 1: and then she scrolls like this like she's just giving
Speaker 1: out a flick. It can never be like the price
Speaker 1: is right. It's kind of fun. It's like she's like
Speaker 1: she always like gambling, fruit ninja or angry birds. I'm
Speaker 1: gambling and it's just scrolling on Twitter or something. She'll
Speaker 1: just go and it's like, do you know that you
Speaker 1: can just go like this and like scroll it like
Speaker 1: that without lifting up your finger. Because sometimes I'll go, Mom,
Speaker 1: you know in your text where you search a word?
Speaker 1: Because today she was trying to take a picture of
Speaker 1: my um Starbucks order so she could remember, and I go,
Speaker 1: there's no point in you taking a picture of this.
Speaker 1: You're not gonna signed it in your photos. I've watched
Speaker 1: you before. It's gonna get buried. I'm gonna send you photo,
Speaker 1: they're gonna get send photos of the kids, and they're
Speaker 1: gonna get you. I'm gonna see you doing this. Hold on,
Speaker 1: I gotta find this. I gotta find this damn order
Speaker 1: Nikki sent me. So then I taught her, I go,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna text, and that way you can look in
Speaker 1: your text. You know how to search in your text.
Speaker 1: And I taught her how. And so I told her
Speaker 1: to go back to her text and then you know how,
Speaker 1: you pulled that, you scroll, pulled down and then a
Speaker 1: search bark up. Now and she flicks. She's like she
Speaker 1: can't just like and you know how sometimes you can flick,
Speaker 1: like how to go to your mainstream? Like you do
Speaker 1: this and all these options come up. What fact, my
Speaker 1: mom uses her phone like a rotor, right, the flicking
Speaker 1: of the figure. Still they need to make little hand
Speaker 1: like little handles on the side, like when you play
Speaker 1: slots at the mean those little things you could little
Speaker 1: pull a little trick, a little handle for you. My
Speaker 1: mom played she came to see me at a casino.
Speaker 1: I didn't even play the slot. Would you play craps? Now?
Speaker 1: I played roulette, but I played for like an hour
Speaker 1: that He was like, you know, uh, there was some
Speaker 1: sign about like no smoking weed. He's like, or there
Speaker 1: was something about weed, and he was like, they benefit
Speaker 1: from people smoking weed because they can't count cards, and
Speaker 1: I go, you think people are counting cards? Shitty casino,
Speaker 1: no offense to the casino in Iowa on the border.
Speaker 1: There's no one counting cards there. If there is, there's
Speaker 1: one person, maybe every and they look, no, that's the
Speaker 1: only person. I go, Dad, there is no Gambling does
Speaker 1: not take skill, and there's no skill to be and
Speaker 1: he goes, there's skill, there's skill, and I'm like, there's not,
Speaker 1: or or it wouldn't exist. Always it's always about luck. Dad,
Speaker 1: there's a stoner mathematician that's figuring out at like airplanes
Speaker 1: and yeah. He was like, they definitely want people smoking
Speaker 1: weed around here so that they don't have to count
Speaker 1: their cards. And I'm just like, okay, anyone who's counting
Speaker 1: cards will know how to count cards. Stone to like, there, yes,
Speaker 1: you can't go stoned or drunk. Yeah, but he goes,
Speaker 1: that's why they get drunk, so that people get stupid,
Speaker 1: and I go, no, they get them drunk so they
Speaker 1: get stupid and they spend more money, not so that
Speaker 1: they can't have My dad goes, it fos up people's
Speaker 1: game and I'm like, no, if I don't know how
Speaker 1: to play black shack, at all. I don't know the rules.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I know it's like twenty one and
Speaker 1: then you hit you with the past or whatever the
Speaker 1: funk it is. I go up to a black jack table,
Speaker 1: I used to feel so insecure, not knowing. If you
Speaker 1: go there, the dealer will tell you what the best
Speaker 1: odds are to do, and then it all comes down
Speaker 1: to luck. There's sometimes you can split it or whatever.
Speaker 1: But like other people at the table will always help
Speaker 1: people at the table, there is no skill to it.
Speaker 1: You do have to understand the game, but there's no
Speaker 1: like you don't have an Maybe geniuses have advantages, but
Speaker 1: the average Joe is not gonna have an advantage of blackack.
Speaker 1: Or about rain Man, No, well he could probably count
Speaker 1: some cards pretty well. Well, it depends if he's still
Speaker 1: or not. But yeah, I do. I I played a
Speaker 1: lot of blackjack, and it depends. There is some skill involved,
Speaker 1: and there are a lot of rules. Tell me why,
Speaker 1: because you've got to know whether to hit on something.
Speaker 1: I mean, well, where is there is there a thing
Speaker 1: where you can tell me, like I might make a
Speaker 1: mistake and you would know what to do. Okay, there's
Speaker 1: a lot of different things. When when to split certain numbers.
Speaker 1: So if you get two eights right and then you're
Speaker 1: going against a ten, you don't want to split them.
Speaker 1: But if it's against the six, you want to split them.
Speaker 1: Then you could double your best going to tell me
Speaker 1: that maybe maybe maybe not. Sometimes sometimes you want to
Speaker 1: stay on certain things. And then isn't there a rule
Speaker 1: for everything? There's always like this is the better option
Speaker 1: to make, and then everyone at the table knows that,
Speaker 1: but a lot of people, because a lot of drunk,
Speaker 1: fucking assholes, will just go, oh, I'm going to stay
Speaker 1: on the thirteen against the ten because I just feel it,
Speaker 1: and then it ruins the whole flow of the table,
Speaker 1: and then everyone hates that person, and then everyone wants
Speaker 1: to fight that person, and that person ends up winning somehow,
Speaker 1: and now everyone hates them even more and the whole vibe.
Speaker 1: I guess it's the same as like betting on one
Speaker 1: of the green numbers on roulette, where it's like the
Speaker 1: odds of that it's black or red. No, there's one zero? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, well but if you if you're okay, wait,
Speaker 1: oh sorry, just like black and black Jack, if if okay,
Speaker 1: they have automatic shuffle, which is harder to count. But
Speaker 1: if it's just a single deck shuffle, if you see
Speaker 1: a lot of tens at the beginning, the more tens
Speaker 1: in the deck, the better it is for you as
Speaker 1: the player. That's all I know. So, so like let's
Speaker 1: say you're playing a single deck, you see a lot
Speaker 1: of tens up top, then you know not to bet
Speaker 1: as much at the end because there's like you're going
Speaker 1: to get lower numbers. Yeah, but there might see nines.
Speaker 1: There's four nines in there, and eights are very close
Speaker 1: to tend to let you have it because I don't
Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about, but I do think that
Speaker 1: if there there was a way to have an advantage
Speaker 1: over casinos, people would figure it out and then casinos
Speaker 1: wouldn't make money. But that's never gonna happen. Casinos makes
Speaker 1: so much money because there is no way. The dealer
Speaker 1: always has the advantage, the house has the advantage. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it's still doesn't mean it's not fun and that
Speaker 1: you can't still win. So fun, Someone in Altadena out
Speaker 1: here one two billion dollars and hasn't claimed it yet.
Speaker 1: There's a there is a ticket out here for the
Speaker 1: mega millions, the megabillions, at this point, are you sure
Speaker 1: it's not maga? Oh my god. My mom said earlier
Speaker 1: she was talking about Trump and she was like, I
Speaker 1: think he's out because you know what, his people not
Speaker 1: set all these people and the mega's and there, and
Speaker 1: I go Mega's and she goes the magazin they're voting,
Speaker 1: not the the mega's did not a lot of his
Speaker 1: megas didn't. And I go, make elephants great again, that's
Speaker 1: exactly what he is. Don't insult elephants like that. And
Speaker 1: she goes and I go, it's make America great gun
Speaker 1: and she goes, okay, so you've been saying mega do you?
Speaker 1: And say Mega Mega? Um, well, someone want two billion dollars?
Speaker 1: And my mom wrote to me and goes by chance
Speaker 1: by a ticket now to Dina about what she thinks
Speaker 1: about you, Like she like you would buy it and
Speaker 1: not check it, like you would win two billion and
Speaker 1: just yeah to disorganized Nick with two billion dollars like that,
Speaker 1: your life isn't you towers at our half price? You
Speaker 1: would still, yeah, your life really wouldn't change that much.
Speaker 1: You would go. You would be able to cut off
Speaker 1: all your family. I could cut them off, so you'd
Speaker 1: have to you gotta you gotta go into obscurity. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you would give them, would you say, Andrew, you call
Speaker 1: your mom and do not just start it's like wrong numbers.
Speaker 1: She's like, my mom said she would give it away,
Speaker 1: and I just I don't believe you. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I would love to do that. Who needs even five
Speaker 1: million dollars? I mean I could use five million, maybe
Speaker 1: twenty I would who knows? But a billion billion dollars?
Speaker 1: Do you know how many? Okay? Do you know how
Speaker 1: many seconds are? In one millions? And I should have
Speaker 1: paid attention. It's okay, Um, it's like twelve days is
Speaker 1: a million seconds? Do you know how many seconds are?
Speaker 1: How many? How long is a billion seconds? Thirty six years?
Speaker 1: That's the difference between a million and a billion. People like,
Speaker 1: people think it's insane. We gotta go to break. But
Speaker 1: we'll be back with more interesting stats after this. Is
Speaker 1: it so fun? Hey guys, it's your girl, Nick. I'm
Speaker 1: in a car on my way to Santa Barbara. I
Speaker 1: don't know why I'm telling you that, But tomorrow, on Friday,
Speaker 1: I will be a thousand Oaks, California as part of
Speaker 1: my tour. The next night, I will be in Valley Center,
Speaker 1: California at Harrah's in San Diego. The next week, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be in Arlington, Vermont, in Providence, Rhode Island, Tulsa, Oklahoma,
Speaker 1: Oklahoma City, and it just goes on and on, Atlantic City, Memphis.
Speaker 1: These are all places I've never been before. So if
Speaker 1: you or someone you know lives there, let them know
Speaker 1: come to a show. It means so much to me.
Speaker 1: Every ticket sale means something. And it's a really good
Speaker 1: show and I'm really proud of it, and I think
Speaker 1: you'll have a blast. So I hope to see besties
Speaker 1: out at these shows again. If you want to go alone,
Speaker 1: just DM meet going alone all caps after you buy
Speaker 1: a ticket to go alone and then tell me your
Speaker 1: name in the city and I will give you a
Speaker 1: free meeting. Great and I hope to see you there.
Speaker 1: I can't wait to meet you guys. And all my
Speaker 1: tour dates, which are many more cities than I talked
Speaker 1: about right now, are available on my website at Nicky
Speaker 1: Glazer dot com Thanky Glazer dot com. And I'll see
Speaker 1: you on the Good Girl tour. All right, we're back.
Speaker 1: My mom is overheated. Get that sweater off your lap.
Speaker 1: Oh wait, you're like, you're not on your stomachs on
Speaker 1: camera or maybe it is. Yeah it is, okay, Well
Speaker 1: hold on, let's hide it. Let's hide My mom is
Speaker 1: freaking hilarious. Last night we went to yesterday we taped
Speaker 1: a show that was why. Um, yeah, it's a show
Speaker 1: for E where um we play. We're not gonna say
Speaker 1: who's on it though, Okay, okay, okay, you want to
Speaker 1: talk in the microphone instead of okay, it's sorry. I
Speaker 1: um so it was a show for E and M.
Speaker 1: They asked us back. He wanted us back in the
Speaker 1: If you haven't heard my show, it is not coming back.
Speaker 1: I haven't officially announced that. Maybe on the show. I
Speaker 1: think I've mentioned it, but it's not coming back my
Speaker 1: locom home, Nicki Glazer. Not enough people watched it. I
Speaker 1: know Bestie's watched it, but you know, uh, it just didn't.
Speaker 1: It's It's okay though, I'm totally fine about it. I was. Um,
Speaker 1: I already knew it was going to get canceled before
Speaker 1: it got picked up, because nothing last forever. Um, everything
Speaker 1: will be canceled. You, your parents, your kids, your everything
Speaker 1: will die. Everything dies someday. Yeah, I know, it down
Speaker 1: or so like any time anything happens, don't get excited
Speaker 1: about it because it will be taken from you. That's
Speaker 1: the way I live my life. Um, your mom slowly
Speaker 1: looked at you like a golden retriever, like finding out
Speaker 1: it's going to get put down. That I know we're
Speaker 1: going to take you to a farm you are probably
Speaker 1: going to put me. Yeah, I want your pure bread
Speaker 1: and I don't want your lineage to continue, and you
Speaker 1: have sorry to be I kind of like that. I
Speaker 1: do have a problem that everyone in this goddamn town
Speaker 1: as a pure bread dog. Everyone has a golden kind.
Speaker 1: I saw mutts really okay, good, they always due to
Speaker 1: your bread like they're they're they're breeded, they're breeded, and
Speaker 1: I love the dog itself, but like, but people just go,
Speaker 1: I just wanted to hypoallergenic. It's like that doesn't even
Speaker 1: mean anything. That was just a term that people came
Speaker 1: up with. And I know, no, my dog actually does
Speaker 1: prevented my allergies. I just want someone to think that
Speaker 1: they could blow their nose on their dog. That's what
Speaker 1: that means. They do look like they're people have snotted
Speaker 1: all over them. I just I don't get why they're
Speaker 1: so cute. Everyone thinks they're so cute. No offense to
Speaker 1: everyone I know who has one of those Golden doodles.
Speaker 1: I don't think they're that cute. I don't either. I'm
Speaker 1: over that whole cuteness. I think. I think there are
Speaker 1: so many more cute rescue animals that I see when
Speaker 1: I post on my Instagram story. These little dogs with
Speaker 1: sad eyes that have been through some ship. These gold
Speaker 1: Dioders are just like from the get go and they're
Speaker 1: just they all have too much energy. People who get
Speaker 1: them go like, oh my life is hell. Like I
Speaker 1: want a dog that's been through like scarred, like you've
Speaker 1: seen what if you just lift your hand and then
Speaker 1: they go to the corner and they shake, look like
Speaker 1: look like toy dogs that were wound up and then
Speaker 1: they took the wound off and they just went. They
Speaker 1: look they don't look they don't look real to me,
Speaker 1: you know what. They seem fake, like like like a
Speaker 1: stuffed animal. Yes they do, and I think that's what
Speaker 1: people like about them. But I I'm sorry, and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna lose listeners on this. I'm sorry. You probably don't
Speaker 1: think my dog is cute. I don't think they're cute.
Speaker 1: There are some dogs, and I've said this before, dogs
Speaker 1: with human eyes, dogs with um big bulldogs. I love
Speaker 1: all animals. You guys know that I don't eat them,
Speaker 1: but like, I don't think bulldogs are cute. I never
Speaker 1: have where the start to droop and you can see
Speaker 1: underneath their eyes. It drew so low that the lid
Speaker 1: like it comes under and you can see like this,
Speaker 1: like you know when you pull your eye down because
Speaker 1: you have something caught in it. Their eyelids always have
Speaker 1: these pockets underneath that are exposed. That was a human being,
Speaker 1: it would be on hospice. Dogs are walking around looking
Speaker 1: very This is controversial. I don't think bulldogs are cute.
Speaker 1: I once there was this guy I was like kind
Speaker 1: of seeing and he got a bulldog that had like
Speaker 1: blue eyes, and I was like, I was like, I
Speaker 1: remember being like, he's so cute, and his dog makes
Speaker 1: me physically ill when I see it come up as
Speaker 1: it looks like sometimes I have to see what this
Speaker 1: guy's up to on Instagram and I'll see his ugly
Speaker 1: dog and I'll go, oh good, I'm so glad. It's
Speaker 1: just it's an ugly dog for an ugly person, Well
Speaker 1: you just know that. But you know what, I would
Speaker 1: probably get a bulldog and love it. So I just
Speaker 1: want to say I don't need my dog to be
Speaker 1: cute to own it. This is the thing. People think
Speaker 1: that something not being cute means it doesn't deserve to
Speaker 1: live or doesn't deserve love. Like it's some kind of
Speaker 1: like like if someone thought my dog wasn't cute, I
Speaker 1: really don't care. It doesn't mean that it's any less
Speaker 1: lovable or sweet. It doesn't matter if I think your
Speaker 1: dog is cute. But I don't think a lot of
Speaker 1: dogs are cute. I think they're just as gross as
Speaker 1: like a cockroach. But I still like, I don't kill cockroaches.
Speaker 1: Does that make sense? You are there's dogs you don't
Speaker 1: think you're cute. I I'm trying to kind of well,
Speaker 1: and I'm in the same camp those cute over cute dogs.
Speaker 1: It's like, Okay, we get it. They're cute. You know that.
Speaker 1: It's like it's like, oh, look at me, I have
Speaker 1: the cutest dog. People. You know, people, that's not why
Speaker 1: you get a dog to have the crudest dog. You
Speaker 1: get it started a dog. You're all like you're on
Speaker 1: one side, like, so you need running the mill dog.
Speaker 1: You don't want a bulldogs too ugly, a golden dudeles
Speaker 1: take a coul dog. No, I'll take a hop Like
Speaker 1: I'm just saying they're ugly, and don't tell me your dog.
Speaker 1: I will not go your dog is so cute. It's
Speaker 1: not cute. It has human eyes. But some people do
Speaker 1: think they're cute. It's a matter of opinion. But just
Speaker 1: because I think, I just want to tell people. If
Speaker 1: you have a bulldog and I don't think your dog
Speaker 1: is cute, it doesn't mean I don't think your dog
Speaker 1: is awesome and that you don't think they're cute. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and you are probably actually you're probably not too cute.
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean that you don't deserve love and that
Speaker 1: you aren't in school and like better than Like I'm
Speaker 1: exploring this thing in my set right now where if
Speaker 1: you say someone's ugly, like unequivlically, like this person is
Speaker 1: not cute, this person is not attractive, you get like
Speaker 1: that's so mean, and it's like, why is that a
Speaker 1: judgment on there? It doesn't mean it's just a fact
Speaker 1: some people are not attractive. But you can't say that.
Speaker 1: It's just I didn't know how to end up sentence,
Speaker 1: and then I looked at you and I knew exactly
Speaker 1: where I was going. Some people get some people. But
Speaker 1: but it's so funny because we live in a society
Speaker 1: where if you're attractive, it means you're good, which it
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that at all, as you know, many attractive
Speaker 1: people are not good. But we live in a society
Speaker 1: where if you're ugly it means you're bad. If you're attractive,
Speaker 1: it means you're good. And it's like, where did where
Speaker 1: did that get lined up? Because there's I should be
Speaker 1: able to say that someone is ugly and not having
Speaker 1: people go that's so mean. No, it's just a act.
Speaker 1: It's like saying they're poor. It's like saying they're probably
Speaker 1: why though, but that's what I'm saying. I would be
Speaker 1: hurt too. But I'm saying we got to take away
Speaker 1: the moral um, you know, the moral levity of of
Speaker 1: of your looks, Like why does that mean? It doesn't
Speaker 1: mean you're a bad person, it's just about people's feelings. Well,
Speaker 1: because we because looks matter so much. I just read
Speaker 1: this article that said hot girls get better grades across
Speaker 1: the board, high school, college, they get better grades, but
Speaker 1: during Zoom their grades stabilized to the same as everyone
Speaker 1: else's because because the press fasters couldn't smell their pussies.
Speaker 1: I don't know, their pheromones weren't coming out but the row.
Speaker 1: But that's why I'm talking about. That's why we think.
Speaker 1: That's why we think attractive is good because you get
Speaker 1: rewarded for being attractive, you get good things, and so
Speaker 1: when someone calls you ugly, you go, well, that means
Speaker 1: I'm not going to get all these advantages, and there
Speaker 1: there's just this you should be able to call someone ugly.
Speaker 1: I hope we get to a place where someone can
Speaker 1: go I'm ugly and everyone goes, no, you're not. It's like,
Speaker 1: why is it bad that I'm ugly? Why I was
Speaker 1: just born this way? I feel like with entertainment to
Speaker 1: there's always like room for one ugly person and everyone's like, wow,
Speaker 1: let's champion them, and it's like, what about the second
Speaker 1: ugly person. They're like, well, that's too much ugly. Like
Speaker 1: the same with fat and ugly. We have like one
Speaker 1: ugly woman maybe who gets to work, and we have
Speaker 1: like four fat women in entertainment, and that is it. Men.
Speaker 1: There's probably like fifty that work because there's like character actors,
Speaker 1: but there's and and there's maybe like four fat men
Speaker 1: because and then a lot of them may just make
Speaker 1: them wear fat suits. But you you're right, there's always
Speaker 1: a threshold of like how a good looking guy gain
Speaker 1: weight for the role and still you know what I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: IDs to play the role that this other for other
Speaker 1: people about the Brendan Fraser is now like getting critical
Speaker 1: acclaim for the whale playing a four gay man. And
Speaker 1: it's like they could have found one of those. They're
Speaker 1: all over the place. Give that guy a chance, give
Speaker 1: that four inner pound chance. Got no chances in life,
Speaker 1: and that would have been it. Well different. Sorry, I
Speaker 1: have a question though, because isn't it different if I
Speaker 1: call myself ugly versus someone else calling me ugly? Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it's I'm saying that ugly shouldn't mean anything either way.
Speaker 1: You should when I call myself ugly or I say, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm I look old, people you know they want to
Speaker 1: go no, you're not. But that tells me that there's
Speaker 1: something wrong with being those things? What's wrong with being ugly?
Speaker 1: What's wrong with being old. The problem is is that
Speaker 1: there's nothing really inherently wrong with either of those things.
Speaker 1: It doesn't change the person you are, doesn't change what
Speaker 1: you're capable of, It doesn't change your intelligence, It doesn't
Speaker 1: change any of these things. What it changes is how
Speaker 1: people treat you. And if we lived in a society
Speaker 1: where everyone was treated the same way. But we're not,
Speaker 1: because biologically we're attracted to things that we want to fuck,
Speaker 1: and we want to give things people things that we
Speaker 1: want to fuck. But it doesn't. I think that we
Speaker 1: just have looks and character mixed up and so something
Speaker 1: there's something evil about being ugly, where it's really just
Speaker 1: as subjective as your skin color or your hair color,
Speaker 1: or your the coarseness of your hair. It's really just
Speaker 1: that much of a different or saying that some people
Speaker 1: are more intelligent than other people, it's just it we
Speaker 1: both there's a there's a there's a high placed upon
Speaker 1: a challenge is intelligence when really there shouldn't be. It's
Speaker 1: either because you can't choose how intelligent you are. You
Speaker 1: either are you aren't. It should just be black And
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, doesn't any this makes sense? Intelligence?
Speaker 1: You can make yourself more intelligent. No, you can't. You're
Speaker 1: kind of born with I mean, you can learn more,
Speaker 1: you can't change. There could be more. But if someone's
Speaker 1: born with learning disabilities and a low que let's say,
Speaker 1: it doesn't make them a worse person than someone who's
Speaker 1: born really smart. But we as a society put that
Speaker 1: meaning on it. It's just as different as like a
Speaker 1: blonde person and a person with brown hair. That's the
Speaker 1: difference there. But for some reason we don't put morality
Speaker 1: on those things. We don't put morality on We pretty
Speaker 1: much put morality on every People that are smarter make
Speaker 1: more money. People are better looking, make more money. It
Speaker 1: doesn't change if you're a good person or not, or
Speaker 1: like the time of person you are. And that's what
Speaker 1: we put on it is like that person is somehow
Speaker 1: a bad person. You're bad. If you're fat, you're bad.
Speaker 1: If you're ugly, you're bad. If you're not intelligent, those things,
Speaker 1: it's not true. I mean, people with Down syndrome are
Speaker 1: definitely less intelligent than the rest of us, and they
Speaker 1: are probably a hundred times better than the rest of
Speaker 1: us in terms of like actual morals. What would you
Speaker 1: want to see what would you want to see a
Speaker 1: world which it will never happen, where people are judged
Speaker 1: for the character their character, and not the color of
Speaker 1: there's what am I mart listening, not the color of
Speaker 1: the kid, not how fat they are, not how intelligent
Speaker 1: they are. We but like in the world you're talking about,
Speaker 1: just be nicer to those people. Don't give girls that
Speaker 1: are hotter better grades. I wish that, but these are
Speaker 1: all things that are subconscious. You can't help. Don't hold
Speaker 1: doors for people that you know you want to fuck
Speaker 1: and not for people you don't want to fuck. Don't
Speaker 1: treat homeless people different than you would a person with
Speaker 1: a lot of money, don't you know? Like, but we
Speaker 1: we can't stop doing that because it's all subconscious. I
Speaker 1: think you're over exaggerating on the fucking people, know that
Speaker 1: is what it's about. It's by a lot of Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like you, it's I mean, you're not being nicer
Speaker 1: people because you want to, But you're nicer to beautiful people,
Speaker 1: probably because nicer people get You know that nicer people
Speaker 1: have more things in the world. You want access to
Speaker 1: the things they might be able to give you, and
Speaker 1: the reason they get more things in this world is
Speaker 1: because they are fuckable and because you know, people who
Speaker 1: generally have most of the power, men want to have
Speaker 1: sex with them and so they get more things. I
Speaker 1: know I'm nicer to people sometimes when without even knowing it,
Speaker 1: subconsciously because they're a pretty girl and I'm intimidated, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, maybe if she likes me, people will
Speaker 1: think I'm a pretty girl, and then I'll get more things.
Speaker 1: It's like we're all driven to these things. No, um,
Speaker 1: I don't know about that. I really don't. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm as nice to a person who isn't as beautiful
Speaker 1: as the next person. I agree that you are, but
Speaker 1: subconsciously I think it. I also think it's a difference,
Speaker 1: the difference between like someone that's ugly and something that's
Speaker 1: ugly that's also an ugly person, like I don't know,
Speaker 1: like I'm I'm more drawn to even if you are ugly,
Speaker 1: if you present yourself well and you're nice and you're whatever,
Speaker 1: like you, you don't pay attention to the ugliness and
Speaker 1: just as nice to that person, I feel, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think it would look at the
Speaker 1: studies for ugly people. I mean, there have been studies
Speaker 1: done where they like. Like I said, girls that are
Speaker 1: attractive get better grades across the board. And I bet
Speaker 1: you anything, professors don't think that they favor girls that
Speaker 1: are more attractive, but they do. It's subconscious. We reward
Speaker 1: people in society that we think have more money, have
Speaker 1: more power. In reward, Bigger men, like taller men, get rewarded.
Speaker 1: You get a little bit more nervous. If you got
Speaker 1: into an elevator with a bunch of guys that were
Speaker 1: hot and tall and looked like basketball players, you would
Speaker 1: get a little bit more You would start doing this
Speaker 1: with your fingers and get a little bit more nervous
Speaker 1: than if it was a bunch of guys that looked
Speaker 1: like the bridge man that murdered those two girls, dressed
Speaker 1: in like a weird cap, and like, you know, same
Speaker 1: with me. If I get super hot models, I would
Speaker 1: be a little bit more nervous and like, I hope
Speaker 1: they like me, and like maybe stand up straighter than
Speaker 1: I would if it was just a bunch of old women.
Speaker 1: You know, Like it's we adjust. You don't think you do,
Speaker 1: mom Um, maybe unconsciously maybe I do, But I see
Speaker 1: you get more nervous if you had like you know,
Speaker 1: you have people that coming over the house that have
Speaker 1: a lot of money or like are like these like
Speaker 1: hoity twity whom, and you get a little bit more
Speaker 1: nervous about what they think of your house than just
Speaker 1: an average person. Okay, so there we go. I rest
Speaker 1: my case. My mom last night met speaking of rich
Speaker 1: fantastic women. Uh, my mom last night we went to
Speaker 1: So we did this show yesterday and um it was
Speaker 1: so my mom was so funny on it. It was
Speaker 1: on Zoom. It's called Celebrity Game Face, and it was
Speaker 1: so fun We laughed all day long. It was a
Speaker 1: long shoot, but we got to Yeah, Kevin Hart hosts
Speaker 1: it and he was on with um and it was
Speaker 1: like two other celebrities and then they're like friends or
Speaker 1: like people that they brought. So it was like two
Speaker 1: huge celebrities that we're not going to say but in
Speaker 1: their friends and then my mom and me and and
Speaker 1: then Kevin Hart and um it, I don't know what
Speaker 1: it'll air, but it was so freaking funny. Anything you
Speaker 1: want to say about it. I was crying, It was
Speaker 1: embarrassed crying. She had tissues because she was laughing tissues, crying,
Speaker 1: laughing so hard. We were just it was just it
Speaker 1: was fun. It was so fun and you play a
Speaker 1: bunch of games. It was like a show that was
Speaker 1: created during COVID to just make entertainment while with celebrities
Speaker 1: at their home. But now it's just continued on because
Speaker 1: it's just so fun um and we just had the
Speaker 1: best time. And then I went and did a photo
Speaker 1: shoot that my guy that shoots for Wilco. I met
Speaker 1: him at a Wilco music festival and then he was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I should shoot you sometime and I was like, it
Speaker 1: would be awesome. And then he saw that it was
Speaker 1: in l A and so we went over there. I
Speaker 1: just brought a huge thing of clothes to this like
Speaker 1: abandoned house was he rented. And then he was so good.
Speaker 1: I didn't even know what he was capable of. I
Speaker 1: got like shots, did you see the Jennifer Aniston shots
Speaker 1: that came out yesterday? And like those it was like those.
Speaker 1: I mean it's not like a sexy but he was
Speaker 1: just really he was in touch with that camera and
Speaker 1: he was so good. Like there's so many yes, they're
Speaker 1: so photo shoots Andrew, and we've done stuff like that
Speaker 1: where it's like they'll just start taking photos of you
Speaker 1: and just expect you to know what to do, and
Speaker 1: it's like, you're not. I'm not a model and I
Speaker 1: don't know what my angles are. Most people don't. But
Speaker 1: he was like, so there's one where yeah, and he's like,
Speaker 1: you're not ugly, and like I should be allowed to be.
Speaker 1: It's okay, it doesn't mean anything about myself. I had this, uh,
Speaker 1: like sweater on. I didn't have many clothes because I'm
Speaker 1: staying here, so I didn't have like a great wardrobe
Speaker 1: to pick from. But I had this like really bulky
Speaker 1: sweater that was almost like a robe, like a long sweater,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I'll just wear like nothing underneath this,
Speaker 1: and so it was kind of sexy and like kind
Speaker 1: of and then I realized, because I'm so uncomfortable being sexy,
Speaker 1: that I was making a sexy face to just try
Speaker 1: to get me into feeling sexy. And he's like, the
Speaker 1: thing about these photos is like when you take a
Speaker 1: photo where you're wearing, like where it's a sexy photo
Speaker 1: where you're wearing something sexual, make your face unsexy because
Speaker 1: otherwise it looks pornographic because it's like it's sex on sex.
Speaker 1: But if you just look bored or like just like
Speaker 1: with full or listless is a cooler look because you're
Speaker 1: already doing the sex with your body. And I would
Speaker 1: have never known that because I was always trying to
Speaker 1: like be in the mode that I'm trying to feel.
Speaker 1: And he was like, you know, if you're comfortable with
Speaker 1: your hands and everything, it's gonna look comfortable. And I've
Speaker 1: never known that. Every time I did get photos, they're like,
Speaker 1: raise your chin straight in your back, look up, and
Speaker 1: I'm always like, this is never how I would stand,
Speaker 1: and it's just always so he was just so good,
Speaker 1: and you were so good. It was like watching a
Speaker 1: professional model. Well that is nice of you, but honestly,
Speaker 1: I was like, wow, what were you impressed by? I'm
Speaker 1: really curious just the way you were moving and you
Speaker 1: were like, so the camera. I'm not telegenic, but I'm
Speaker 1: not photogenic. Photos are hard for me. I'm and did
Speaker 1: you note Rhotus when you said I was photogenic? He
Speaker 1: did not co sign on that who he did to
Speaker 1: a photographer. He was like, Nicki's very beautiful. You said
Speaker 1: all these nice things, and then my mom goes, she
Speaker 1: is photogenic. She just his and he was just silent,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I'm telegenic, and then my own goes,
Speaker 1: what what the hell is that? I go, it's I'm
Speaker 1: good on motion picture. I'm like, I look better than
Speaker 1: I do in person when the cameras moving and I'm
Speaker 1: on video but photogenic, I'm like, I'm like, I got
Speaker 1: chance of looking good in a shot, whereas my friends
Speaker 1: that are models dent chance of looking good when they're photographed.
Speaker 1: Lauren is photogenic. Lauren my sister, she's fanning'st and pictures.
Speaker 1: I feel like we're similar in photos where it's like
Speaker 1: there's like a big window, like you think, like my sister,
Speaker 1: I'm like this and I'm like a four, Like I
Speaker 1: feel like there's photos of you look good, like you're
Speaker 1: someone whose face just captures real well and still image
Speaker 1: where I look like the cucumber from Veggie Tails and
Speaker 1: like but drawn in most photos. The other day, um,
Speaker 1: because I just hated these photos of me this past
Speaker 1: weekend and I looked like the cucumber from Veggie Tails.
Speaker 1: And it was one time in high school, Kirsten was like,
Speaker 1: there was this picture of me, and I go, I
Speaker 1: hated I look like a cucumber and she laughed so
Speaker 1: hard that it confirmed that I did indeed look like
Speaker 1: a cucumber. And so the other day I felt like
Speaker 1: this picture looked like a cucumber. And I've put on
Speaker 1: some weight recently, which I'm just struggling to be acquainted with.
Speaker 1: And so I started just just drawing cucumber, like outlining
Speaker 1: myself and writing cucumber and then sending it on our
Speaker 1: group chat. And I was just cyber bullying myself for
Speaker 1: like a good twenty minutes, and it felt so good
Speaker 1: to just be like old, and I circled places on
Speaker 1: my face. I was just really mean to myself. Um,
Speaker 1: and why do you feel good? Because because I just
Speaker 1: got to say what No, I hate that I said,
Speaker 1: don't say anything to me about it. I just think
Speaker 1: it ugly people. And then if you feel ugly, you're
Speaker 1: so mean to yourself because I hate society. I hate
Speaker 1: that society U values beautiful people. And I have to
Speaker 1: because that's what tells me too. So I get I
Speaker 1: get it, though I wish I valued the way I look.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying up with a mother who says I'm
Speaker 1: disgusting every day, Get out of here. What you said
Speaker 1: disgusting about yourself three times yesterday talking She's like, I
Speaker 1: look like, oh, I had Cleveland showing for the show.
Speaker 1: And she was like, you've got some Clevland going and
Speaker 1: I was like, I like it doing it and she
Speaker 1: got I go, you got some boobs happening too, and
Speaker 1: she was like, because I'm fat. When you look way,
Speaker 1: they go right to your boobs right, And I go,
Speaker 1: that's most people like having boob and she wants a
Speaker 1: boob production. She just doesn't want that. And she goes
Speaker 1: any woman who is post menopausal, you tell me if
Speaker 1: they want more boobs. No, they do not know, they
Speaker 1: do not. We did one good boobs. Now I used
Speaker 1: to have good boobs. I mean like, but did you
Speaker 1: like And it was like, yes, I liked that night.
Speaker 1: And now they're just they're just fat boobs. So you know,
Speaker 1: ask any woman who's gained weighting her sixties. Yeah, they'll
Speaker 1: tell you the same thing. They'll go, just on the boobs.
Speaker 1: It's not fun. I can't wait, missus doubt fire titties sagged,
Speaker 1: but I guess it would be a lot of weight
Speaker 1: up there is. Are they waited? I don't want to
Speaker 1: talk about them? Okay, well, you know what we should
Speaker 1: talk about is last night. You After my photo shoot,
Speaker 1: we went home for like a couple of hours, and
Speaker 1: then we were out all freaking day. Ten am, we
Speaker 1: got picked up for the show. We taped that until
Speaker 1: three at four o'clock. We had the photo shoot until six,
Speaker 1: and then we got home and then I had to
Speaker 1: go do sets last night at eight thirty, and we
Speaker 1: went to the comedy Store and I go on stage
Speaker 1: and my mom is already swept up in conversation with
Speaker 1: Adam Ray at Andrew's Santino. She's in the New Besties,
Speaker 1: and they were so cute as Santini, Santini and the
Speaker 1: Great Santi, the Great Santini. Yeah. I love those islands
Speaker 1: and the Greek islands. Yeah. No. He came in and
Speaker 1: we walked in and he was like, oh, I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah. He was very excited to see it was
Speaker 1: really cute. I'm like, uh, each other. No, I love
Speaker 1: him so much. He's really yeah, and that's why he
Speaker 1: was all over me, because he loves ni. You want
Speaker 1: to see where it came from and uh. And then
Speaker 1: the fortune Feamster was there, and then so I go.
Speaker 1: He saw those big old sixties three year old three. Um.
Speaker 1: So he then I go on stage and I come
Speaker 1: off stage, and my mom is deep in a fun,
Speaker 1: loving conversation with Tiffany Hattish, and then Chris text me like, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm out front. He was at work. He's going to
Speaker 1: pick us up and I had to go to another
Speaker 1: set hecause I'm out front, and I go. My mom
Speaker 1: is embroiled in a conversation with Tiffany Hattrish. I can't
Speaker 1: pull her away, and so I let it go on
Speaker 1: for another like ten minutes. She's got a lot going on,
Speaker 1: and he started the conversation, you're Tiffany, Yeah, how did
Speaker 1: it start? Well, we're talking about uh, We're sitting there talking.
Speaker 1: I said hi, you know, and she's like, hi, hey girl,
Speaker 1: and says she sits down next to me, and we
Speaker 1: were talking about um. Somebody said to her. I think
Speaker 1: it was Santini, the Great Santini and there Santino, the
Speaker 1: Great Santino. I think he said to her. I actually
Speaker 1: I think it was Harlan who said Harlan Williams. Harlan Williams.
Speaker 1: So he went off. He was on stage, and then
Speaker 1: I he brought me on stage, and so we switched
Speaker 1: and he walked into the green room. So he says,
Speaker 1: Tiffany is something about Oh, she said something about a garden,
Speaker 1: that she has a garden, and he said, uh. He said,
Speaker 1: are you a vegan? And she said no, And then
Speaker 1: we started talking about it. She said, I said, that's
Speaker 1: so funny. The whole way here, my daughter and I
Speaker 1: were talking, Nikki. We're talking about veganism and how I
Speaker 1: kind of want to do it. It's going to be
Speaker 1: really difficult, and she said, girl, I wouldn't be vegan.
Speaker 1: She said it's too hard. But I I said, what
Speaker 1: about this garden? She said, oh. But anyway, she's opening
Speaker 1: a grocery store in um l A and some desperate
Speaker 1: place that is not doing well what do they call
Speaker 1: those places that are desert food deserts And where her
Speaker 1: parents met is an old bank, but she's turning it
Speaker 1: into a grocery store where she's gonna have cooking lessons
Speaker 1: for you know, people and that just have never learned
Speaker 1: to cook, and you know, for the for her old
Speaker 1: her folks in her neighborhood that she loved. And she said,
Speaker 1: black people don't cook. She said black people don't cook.
Speaker 1: She said, my friend, she takes her son to uh
Speaker 1: burger king every day and that's their quality time. She said,
Speaker 1: I think about it if you could teach him to cook,
Speaker 1: and did sit down and cook a meal with him
Speaker 1: and eat. But we went into all these different things
Speaker 1: about um, she wants to do this for her community.
Speaker 1: She wants to she bought all this property, she's working
Speaker 1: with all these farms, and she's she bought a big,
Speaker 1: huge plot that she's gonna get her look great. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's where. She's like cool white jumpsuit and like she's
Speaker 1: all about he now died um bleached and she's got
Speaker 1: you know how she shaved it so it's kind of
Speaker 1: grown in a little bit and it looks so she
Speaker 1: looks so freaking cute. She's so beautiful. I saw her
Speaker 1: and after she was talking to my mom was like, oh,
Speaker 1: we gotta get a picture you too. I go. My
Speaker 1: mom was so excited to see you tonight. This is
Speaker 1: a true dream for and they took a cute little
Speaker 1: picture and then um, and then I was like we're
Speaker 1: talking about I forgetten I go, do you own a
Speaker 1: house here? Do you own? Which of course she does,
Speaker 1: she's a rich person. And she was like, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I own houses, and I was like, Okay, how does
Speaker 1: everyone have a fucking like? Everyone is so rich? Yesterday
Speaker 1: we were on this thing with a celebrity and he
Speaker 1: was you. I mean I knew he was like well
Speaker 1: to do? He was just he had He was at
Speaker 1: his bowling alley. That's what was the dinners drop. And
Speaker 1: I'm staying at an airbnb that honestly is breaking my
Speaker 1: bank to stay here for you know, six weeks. It's
Speaker 1: costing me close to ten thousand dollars, which I think
Speaker 1: is too much to span and Airbnb. And it's a small,
Speaker 1: two bedroom, very small. And I'm like, I'm a celebrity,
Speaker 1: I'm doing well. How is this not? How do I
Speaker 1: not have these things? This guy is worth we looked
Speaker 1: up as net worth as worth seventeen million dollars. But
Speaker 1: still like, I just yes, how do people have this
Speaker 1: much money? And like, my friend just bought a house
Speaker 1: that was thirty eight million dollars two guys, it was
Speaker 1: her seconds. That's a different story. I want those things,
Speaker 1: But like where since when did how doses start costing
Speaker 1: thirty eight million dollars? It used to be like that
Speaker 1: house costs a million dollars. I think in the past
Speaker 1: ten years, millions has become it doesn't even mean anything.
Speaker 1: Having a million dollars means a million dollars nothing anymore.
Speaker 1: How does that happen? It's just awful. It's so like
Speaker 1: there's some people that the disparity between some people are
Speaker 1: so fucking broken. Then there are other people there's I mean,
Speaker 1: this is the problem with the nation. But I just
Speaker 1: feel like you're either you have no money or you
Speaker 1: have all money. I mean a laborate noodle. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean a million dollars used to mean I know, and
Speaker 1: I just sat by a place I think. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I mean, you've got to jump in the real estate game.
Speaker 1: I don't know. How do I have to do? I
Speaker 1: just crawl into jump back to it. I was like,
Speaker 1: you gotta get in, get in the mixt. I just
Speaker 1: want to punch you in. Once you own something, it
Speaker 1: just doubles in price. It's like it. And that's what
Speaker 1: almost Andrew and here lost a lot of money on
Speaker 1: a condo. But I and I was in realistic How
Speaker 1: did you do well, Andrew? What did you do? So?
Speaker 1: What I did is I bought at the top and
Speaker 1: then I told at the bottom because I couldn't have
Speaker 1: afford the payments, so that was cool, you know, But no,
Speaker 1: everything doubles it basically does. I mean, if you a
Speaker 1: certain period of time over like a little bit before
Speaker 1: you I'm saying tanure, but some I'm much shorter than that,
Speaker 1: you know. Noah, you bought a beautiful home, and I
Speaker 1: think you bought at the right time. You're going to
Speaker 1: rates went up. Yeah, but she's no, there's no. I've
Speaker 1: never done anything at the right time in my life.
Speaker 1: There's never been once where anyone goes through wow, you
Speaker 1: really got in there. No. No. Now, when it comes
Speaker 1: to financial like things, I've never once gotten a deal
Speaker 1: on something. I do have one. He's probably listening right now.
Speaker 1: I've never once made a sound financial decision that was like, Wow,
Speaker 1: you got in at the There's I always get there
Speaker 1: right if the sale has ended. I you know, on
Speaker 1: a store, I you know, get a promo code and
Speaker 1: it won't work, and so then I can't you like
Speaker 1: I'll you never texted it goes say fift on your
Speaker 1: first order from this Kashmir place any type in the
Speaker 1: thing and that suits you a text and then you
Speaker 1: copy the text and you put it in it goes
Speaker 1: this code is not this is not working, Like what
Speaker 1: did I do wrong? And then I end up just
Speaker 1: going I'll pay the extra fifteen percent. I never I've
Speaker 1: never done anything right financially. Are you listening? And I'm
Speaker 1: scared of you? Like you guys got your house and
Speaker 1: you won't leave it, you don't want to ever leave.
Speaker 1: I'm scared that if I get a house minute, I
Speaker 1: don't want I don't want to get married. I don't
Speaker 1: want to get a house. I don't want to bidey.
Speaker 1: I just don't want permanent. I don't want to sign
Speaker 1: up for anything forever. I just don't get that you could.
Speaker 1: You could rent, like if you bought in the hills
Speaker 1: or something, you could. I gotta rent it out. I
Speaker 1: gotta look nice. And every week I gotta have some
Speaker 1: come in there and change out the sheets, and I
Speaker 1: get a deal with the cabinet, the cabinet above the stove,
Speaker 1: and then and then people go, no, you'd have some
Speaker 1: guy fix that. Well, then I gotta call the guy
Speaker 1: and I gotta go the cabinet's broken on the third stove.
Speaker 1: And then I gotta make sure, Okay, someone's gonna be
Speaker 1: there to let you in at this time. People, Nicky,
Speaker 1: there's people that you can do that for you, Well,
Speaker 1: then I gotta hire those people. So I'm at the
Speaker 1: bottom of all of this. There, people go, NICKI, you
Speaker 1: hire people to do that. I don't want to hire.
Speaker 1: I don't even want to talk to That's the thing. No,
Speaker 1: I get that. I'm just you don't want to commit
Speaker 1: who It stresses me out. And this is someone you hired,
Speaker 1: that one person to deal with thirty things. But then
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm getting fucked because if I because
Speaker 1: if I don't manage what they're doing, then they start channing.
Speaker 1: They start charging me more because they go, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: working hourly for her, and then they don't if I'm
Speaker 1: not checking up on what are these hours really actually compute?
Speaker 1: On the back end of that, I get fucked on everything.
Speaker 1: I really because I don't look at my own books.
Speaker 1: This is why I need a husband. But I'm scared
Speaker 1: of marriage because I don't want to commit to that.
Speaker 1: So I just need you can rent him out. I
Speaker 1: want to. I want to rent all I would to
Speaker 1: property manage my husband managed by your nut actually sounds
Speaker 1: pretty sexy to me. Okay, we'll be right back right
Speaker 1: after this. Alrighty, I don't know why I'm doing that voice. Wait,
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to be talking up here? All right, we're back.
Speaker 1: Are you supposed to talk up here? Yeah? This is
Speaker 1: bad for my voice to talk like this, and this
Speaker 1: is really good for my voice to talk like this
Speaker 1: and likes you one thing, it's the opposite, But this
Speaker 1: is better for my voice because my chords hit like flat,
Speaker 1: they hit the whole chord hits together. And when I'm
Speaker 1: talking like this, it's just the middle part goes like
Speaker 1: So that's supposed to talk up here, not like I
Speaker 1: know how to do it because I've been voice trained.
Speaker 1: So it's like you are are you supposed to talk? No,
Speaker 1: it's like loud and like clear, like you're The sound
Speaker 1: is going like an arch out of your body as
Speaker 1: opposed to like grow low grow um. All I hear everywhere.
Speaker 1: By the way, is how fucked up people's voices are. Now,
Speaker 1: I'm so obsessed with people's voices. Now, what about my name? Yours? No?
Speaker 1: Yours is good? No, it's not. See this is what
Speaker 1: my mom? Everything? Is there? Anything about you? I mean,
Speaker 1: you got your voice fixed because it was No, my
Speaker 1: voice is still gravelly. I still have a grit to it,
Speaker 1: which I like. I think it's just hereditary and just
Speaker 1: deal with it. That's what you used to when I
Speaker 1: used to tell my mom I was ugly when I
Speaker 1: was a kid and be like, I'm so ugly. She'd go,
Speaker 1: you just deal with it. I said, what was here?
Speaker 1: I go, I'm fat and I'm ugly, and I what
Speaker 1: God gave you? You probably you're so beautiful. You're so beautiful,
Speaker 1: and eventually just like, what the fun? I don't care
Speaker 1: to fill my head with lies about being beautiful. What
Speaker 1: I wasn't my dad did. My dad would be like,
Speaker 1: you ever say beautiful? You're ugly. I wouldn't say it
Speaker 1: was ugly, but you weren't. I would have been furious
Speaker 1: if you would have gotten on the your beautiful bandwagon
Speaker 1: when I was a buck tooth like, pimple frizzy haired
Speaker 1: girl that no boys liked. I'm like, Dad, you're the
Speaker 1: only person who finds me sexually attractive, and just hold
Speaker 1: sexually well. He's like, you're so beautiful. I can't get
Speaker 1: over it. I just God, you're beautiful. And I would
Speaker 1: just be like, I'm eating tomatoes soup and trade eat
Speaker 1: the scrilled cheese stuff, staring at me, gazing at me. Dad,
Speaker 1: he was just like I just made the most beautiful
Speaker 1: like because he really felt that way, because he loves me.
Speaker 1: But my mom I used to say I'm ugly, and
Speaker 1: my mom would go like, shut up, I'm tired of this.
Speaker 1: And then I go, but Lauren's so hot? Why is
Speaker 1: she so perfect? And I'm so ugly? And you'd go like,
Speaker 1: you'd be happy with what you have? God, damn it,
Speaker 1: I don't want to hear this anymore. Just I've never
Speaker 1: said that ever in my life. I've never ever said that.
Speaker 1: I never thought that. Honestly, I never thought that. I
Speaker 1: never thought. I mean, I had friends that would just go, oh,
Speaker 1: my daughter is going to be a model. I'm like,
Speaker 1: shut up, don't put that ship in their heads right
Speaker 1: off that. I always thought that was weird. Yes, like
Speaker 1: encouraged kids never heard we were like, we heard we
Speaker 1: were beautiful and like, but I would never say you
Speaker 1: should be a model, you should get out there because
Speaker 1: I like, you're so Yeah, No one said that, because
Speaker 1: I think that's that. I think that's weird too, just
Speaker 1: too much emphasis on their looks and which is going
Speaker 1: to go away at some point for them. You know,
Speaker 1: I just said, why would you put that pressure on,
Speaker 1: like you should be a model? My friends used to
Speaker 1: do this with their kids, and I still laugh about
Speaker 1: It's like my kids were much more beautiful than your kids.
Speaker 1: And I never like said, oh, we're going to put
Speaker 1: them in modeling. I'm like, okay, every I wanted to
Speaker 1: be put in modeling so fucking bad. I wanted to
Speaker 1: be a child star. So I wish you would have.
Speaker 1: Janette maccurdyed me. She did write a book that's called
Speaker 1: I'm Glad my Mom is dead. But I would have
Speaker 1: loved if you and dad like forced me into the biz.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't have. You would have just been miserable. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I wasn't good at what. I wouldn't have
Speaker 1: booked I definitely. If I can't book them now, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't have booked them then it's for damn sure. I
Speaker 1: was like to see model do you? And Lauren modeled
Speaker 1: for limited To that was limited too? And how did
Speaker 1: we get that gig? I don't even know how to
Speaker 1: just signed you up because you said we could be models,
Speaker 1: and we're like, we could do modeling at the all
Speaker 1: We're like, okay, so your Dan and I took you
Speaker 1: over there, you got you signed up, and we just
Speaker 1: sat there and watched you guys. Mom. Yeah, we were
Speaker 1: just out front and little Limited two outfits. They put
Speaker 1: us head to toe and Limited two and then we
Speaker 1: stood out front of Limited two and like people just
Speaker 1: walked by and we got to be models for the day.
Speaker 1: That was so the good thing they didn't sign you
Speaker 1: for Amber Crombie, and you would have been like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't even hardly like going in that store with Yeah,
Speaker 1: we would have had to be nude, out front nude.
Speaker 1: I remember when you guys were interested in shopping there.
Speaker 1: I was like, first of all, that's clothes are ridiculously expensive.
Speaker 1: They were so I remember it was forty dollars for shirt.
Speaker 1: That was the first time, and this was two thousand
Speaker 1: one and a shirt was forty dollars, And I remember
Speaker 1: it was saying, I get it was hard keeping up
Speaker 1: with Kirstens. It really was. Family wasn't rich though, Why
Speaker 1: was it? Why did we just they bought it Jay Crew,
Speaker 1: They brought any sent their money on clothes, yes, and
Speaker 1: we did not do that, but I mean you it's
Speaker 1: not like we were deprived at all. You weren't like
Speaker 1: you had clothes. Yeah, we had great clothes, but we
Speaker 1: were we were going to Value City, but we got
Speaker 1: good stuff there, and we were going to designer stuff.
Speaker 1: You would sometimes let us go in a little spree
Speaker 1: before before designer stuff on the cheap wasn't around. It's
Speaker 1: TJ Max. Is that where you went shopping and TJ Max.
Speaker 1: That's mom was like a big spender, not on you guys,
Speaker 1: on herself. She'd buy me a shirt that was like
Speaker 1: collared with a zipper in the and I'd be like,
Speaker 1: who do you think I am? Like, you don't even
Speaker 1: know me, mom, because it was I remember she bought
Speaker 1: me and my brothers all denim vests recently and we're like,
Speaker 1: who are who? Do you know? Did you wear them?
Speaker 1: M No, I think I tried to sell them? Probably would.
Speaker 1: She saw it on Facebook, Marketplace couch. I typed in.
Speaker 1: That's another one of my search invest It just come.
Speaker 1: I don't even have to type. It in comes right
Speaker 1: up now. Well, you before school every year we did
Speaker 1: a big shopping because it's the best. I loved remember
Speaker 1: buying school supplies. That was felt so good too. The
Speaker 1: smell of an office back and the smell of oh
Speaker 1: new markers and like that new binder, and you'd get
Speaker 1: a three ring because I was like, this is a
Speaker 1: year I'm going to be organized. And you would get
Speaker 1: the little dividers that you put the subjects in the
Speaker 1: you write it on the white little slip of paper,
Speaker 1: and then you'd slide it into that little tab and
Speaker 1: you'd be all prepared, with all your classes lined up,
Speaker 1: and then within day two it's all gone to ship.
Speaker 1: I never once kept all my notes in a single
Speaker 1: notebook or for a class. I was never I never
Speaker 1: look like like hurricane hit them. Within some days I
Speaker 1: have more paper that fit in them. And then a
Speaker 1: defense attorney for like a man a mash show where
Speaker 1: I'm just like it over my head every day. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're all falling out of the bag. Remember the metal.
Speaker 1: The metal for some reason, and all my blind always
Speaker 1: ended up crooked, slam it into our back backs. We're
Speaker 1: the same person, and they would just get crunched, and
Speaker 1: then they would get and then you have to bend
Speaker 1: them back and yes, and then the paper would always
Speaker 1: rip and get caught on them. Fuck that. But I
Speaker 1: loved a three ring butter. The smell of that, like
Speaker 1: whatever covered the plastic smell. And I love the sme
Speaker 1: pencil break. I like playing pencil break. I missed Oh
Speaker 1: where you like flick the pencil and someone else the pencil?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I mean I feel bad for those pencil
Speaker 1: I love a freshly sharpened pencil and writing on it.
Speaker 1: The best feeling that goes like is when sharpened pencil perfectly,
Speaker 1: not the kind where it's like half of it is
Speaker 1: like the lead in half is the other part, the
Speaker 1: wood part. Don't you hate when your tip of a
Speaker 1: pencil is half wood? Do you want talk about where
Speaker 1: they get kind of like oh yeah, bent and the
Speaker 1: sharpener and then you're writing and it's like you're like,
Speaker 1: what about when you don't have a sharpener? What about
Speaker 1: you have a sharpener? So you bite the pencil to
Speaker 1: get to the lead, but then you get the lead
Speaker 1: in your mouth? Okayer really from trying to throw a
Speaker 1: pencil out of a car and it stuck into my
Speaker 1: finger and I just never took it out. And then
Speaker 1: I was like, ten years later, I was like, I
Speaker 1: lead poisoning. That's why I'm so fucked up. And then
Speaker 1: they're like it's graphite. Remember, everyone's like Norah, it's like,
Speaker 1: don't lie to me, you have graphite poisoning. All right,
Speaker 1: let's go to final thought. Let's do some fan traxes.
Speaker 1: Oh no, yeah, all right, what do you guys have
Speaker 1: for us this week? Uh? So, I wanted to read
Speaker 1: a quick comment from our YouTube page, the Nicky Glazer Podcast,
Speaker 1: which you can go subscribe to you right now to
Speaker 1: see all this on video. So as much as you're
Speaker 1: hearing is Julie's voice, you can also see her on there.
Speaker 1: Oh god, don't look. I love it. You think that
Speaker 1: you're about anything about yourself, and I'm whatever anyone goes,
Speaker 1: You're beautiful. It really hurts me to hear you talk
Speaker 1: about yourself like this. Listen to where I came from. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, it's me. I'm talking about me. It's my problem.
Speaker 1: It's my problem. Has that song? It's me, Hi, I'm
Speaker 1: the problem with me. I'm the problem. Yeah alright, okay,
Speaker 1: So this is from the Singing Sunflower, and the common
Speaker 1: is about astronauts and space. Remember we talked about that.
Speaker 1: That is all about perspective and you can get that
Speaker 1: from just traveling to just seeing how other people live.
Speaker 1: Just moving away from your hometown gives you a lot
Speaker 1: of perspective. Have you ever compared your friends or relatives
Speaker 1: that have lived in their hometown their entire lives with
Speaker 1: those that have studied or worked someplace else or just moved.
Speaker 1: It's all perspective, and it's very good to get more
Speaker 1: of it. How did that person get allowed to write
Speaker 1: a YouTube comment when they are so cogent and clear
Speaker 1: and concise and sweet and smart. That should have been
Speaker 1: blocked immediately on YouTube? Was it all in caps and dispelled?
Speaker 1: Did you translate that from? How? Is there no hate
Speaker 1: speech in that? Was there like eleven exclamation marks at
Speaker 1: some point anywhere? Was? Yeah? What? How? I have never
Speaker 1: heard something so articulate on YouTube? We're the best watchers,
Speaker 1: including listeners. Yeah, that's true. I mean, don't don't you agree? Mom?
Speaker 1: Traveling makes you? What have you learned in your travels? Well,
Speaker 1: I mean moving to St. Louis. I mean traveling is
Speaker 1: just looking since St. Louis, it's just such a culture shock.
Speaker 1: I learned about different chilies, not at all, it's different.
Speaker 1: And the restaurant and the food, oh my god, yeah,
Speaker 1: they're all different. Getting married? Who knows to think about
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, away different. Um, you've been a Hooters yeah
Speaker 1: as a child, but mom, we didn't know what it was.
Speaker 1: We read Florida and I remember the earliest memories. How
Speaker 1: old do you think I was? You're probably remember, Okay,
Speaker 1: it's not my earliest memory, but I was. We went
Speaker 1: from We're going to the outlet malls all day and
Speaker 1: it was so we were so hungry. At the end
Speaker 1: of it. My mom was like, we'll just go here,
Speaker 1: and we into this we my mom thought was like
Speaker 1: an owl themed rust. I thought a family no. And
Speaker 1: we go in and I remember knowing something was wrong,
Speaker 1: like I remember clocking it and being like because it
Speaker 1: would not stick in my memory otherwise, but there was something.
Speaker 1: I remember all these men at the bar. We walked in,
Speaker 1: they were on the left side. They all turned around
Speaker 1: and like we didn't belong there. And then we get
Speaker 1: sat and there was not any kid's menu at this
Speaker 1: time at Hooters. I think, now there's a kid's menu,
Speaker 1: and we were set and I remember the woman coming
Speaker 1: up and she was very nice but like kind of
Speaker 1: like worried, like are you guys okay? And I remember
Speaker 1: you must have been When did you figure out well
Speaker 1: immediately when we after we sat down and the waitress
Speaker 1: came when and I was like, oh my god, this
Speaker 1: is a gentleman's club or something. Yeah, And I had
Speaker 1: no idea what, my god were your daddy had a
Speaker 1: business trip. It was in Tennessee or he was at
Speaker 1: another Hooter, or on the other side it was Nashville
Speaker 1: or something I thought was Florida. In Florida. I grew
Speaker 1: up in Florida. We'd go to Hooters with the dads,
Speaker 1: like after games and it'd just be like four kids
Speaker 1: and four dads and the dads are like, yeah, good,
Speaker 1: Like it was like a like coming of age kids,
Speaker 1: whereas my mom was like my mom and I were
Speaker 1: just staring in front of the mirror picking out parts
Speaker 1: of our body we hated, and she was like, this
Speaker 1: is your coming up. This is how you become a woman.
Speaker 1: And then guys are like, and here's how you become
Speaker 1: a man. Go judge Nick. That was I just so
Speaker 1: I don't know how we got to that. Because one
Speaker 1: more fan trax, but thank you so much for that
Speaker 1: comment from the sunflower Kiding or whatever whoever was so
Speaker 1: nice singing the singing sunflower. Yes, um here okay, we
Speaker 1: have to go out with this one. Here is one
Speaker 1: from Laddie, Hi, Andrew, Nicki and Noah. It's Lofty from
Speaker 1: the UK. I had a quick note about Pooh so
Speaker 1: in one of your episodes we were talking about how
Speaker 1: if you move your pelvis back and forward help get
Speaker 1: the Pooh going and stand up, sit up straight. As
Speaker 1: an eternally constipated person, this has changed my life. It
Speaker 1: was last bits of poos that you just can't squeeze
Speaker 1: out about it. And then the second though related thing
Speaker 1: is when you were talking someone could feel the Pooh
Speaker 1: with their penis when they were having set. And I
Speaker 1: have to say that I'm actually at my most horny
Speaker 1: when I need a Pooh, and I don't know if
Speaker 1: it's because it makes the canals thinner, so it's more pressure,
Speaker 1: really hard when I also need a Pooh. And Nikki,
Speaker 1: as someone who likes you know what, I'm surprised you
Speaker 1: don't like it too, because it kind of feels like
Speaker 1: that with some cookney rhyming slying hopefully you know what
Speaker 1: it means, but it's a Jack and Danny Jack and
Speaker 1: Danny means funny. Um. Lottie, your voice is amazing for
Speaker 1: stuff and I don't know, you gotta go. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: make this fast. Um, I'm so glad that solution helps you. Mom.
Speaker 1: This is the consta solution. You sit up straight and
Speaker 1: then you rock back and forth, like right with the
Speaker 1: angle at your pelvis and you rock back and forth,
Speaker 1: and if you have a little bit of poo in there,
Speaker 1: it like will squeeze it out and um, and it
Speaker 1: really does work. Whenever that last bit where you're like,
Speaker 1: oh God and you can't push anymore, it like really
Speaker 1: helps it go up. And then um. Also, I do
Speaker 1: think that I would get turned on if I had
Speaker 1: full bows during sex, but I usually don't because I
Speaker 1: want to not I want to use that space, and
Speaker 1: so I'm usually like I hope he doesn't try to
Speaker 1: go up there. So it just causes anxiety more than like, oh,
Speaker 1: this will feel really great. And I bet you a
Speaker 1: full colon or like slightly full coal and when you
Speaker 1: have sex feels really good because I recently heard that
Speaker 1: anal actually feels good to women because there is a
Speaker 1: pressure point there that accesses the G spot almost better
Speaker 1: sometimes on certain women than um, your vaginal canal. So
Speaker 1: I bet you your full pooh. Your pooh is pressing
Speaker 1: on that part, and that is why you're getting more
Speaker 1: turned on. It's not because you're just like a dirty
Speaker 1: ship whore, you know, like there's a reason why. Like
Speaker 1: some people think that women that like anal are just
Speaker 1: like disgusting, and it's like, no, it actually feels good.
Speaker 1: We're not. We have different bodies than maybe people that
Speaker 1: don't enjoy it as much. And also if someone's saying
Speaker 1: you're disgusting, just tell them with a British accent and
Speaker 1: if it sounds fantastic, Oh my god, that's she could
Speaker 1: have said anything. She say anything. She's like, oh, we
Speaker 1: kill everyone can calling it everyone. They're all bleeding right now,
Speaker 1: and we're like, wow, that's so cute. I feel like
Speaker 1: I support it. Con six remember that. Okay, we gotta go.
Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much for list Thanks for everyone
Speaker 1: coming in Austin. We had a lot of Bestis last night.
Speaker 1: It means a lot and I really I went on
Speaker 1: the live and someone said they had just gone to
Speaker 1: it and had a lot of fun. Yeah, it was
Speaker 1: a lot of fun. Thank you. That's great. Thank you
Speaker 1: to Besties for all your support. You guys are the
Speaker 1: freaking best. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Um, don't
Speaker 1: be care And Mom, do you know any famous people
Speaker 1: with the jack? Any famous people with the last the
Speaker 1: first name is Jack Jack. Now okay,