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Speaker 1: Scotti, Curtie b. Pickle packing PERV popped on private PRIs.

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Speaker 2: I didn't know if I was going first of you were,

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Speaker 2: and boy, I'm glad I did it. All right, Let's

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Speaker 2: get into a very special recording on Saint Patrick's day. Bananas,

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Speaker 2: Bananas still world on his head. Would you be.

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Speaker 1: My josillion pieces?

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Speaker 2: Would you? Banana baby.

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Speaker 3: Baby?

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Speaker 1: Banana ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to Bananas. That's Scott Landis.

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Speaker 2: And that's Kurt Trude Brown older and uh well, thank

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Speaker 2: you for joining us on an episode. It's just Kurt

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Speaker 2: all right today. This is this is a Curtie Scotty.

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Speaker 2: We love Curtie Scotti's. We get a lot of dms

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Speaker 2: and texts of the Banana phone saying that the ban

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Speaker 2: animals like Curtie Scotti's. So I'm pumped on this one.

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Speaker 1: I am too. It's good to see you, Bud.

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Speaker 2: I feel good. How are you.

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Speaker 1: I'm feeling great. You know, spring is in the air.

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Speaker 1: Feels like things are maybe ending. Oh that's speaking of

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Speaker 1: things maybe ending. I do want to just mention that

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Speaker 1: I am doing stand up for the first time in

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Speaker 1: a year. Yes, May thirteenth, fourteenth and fifteenth in Portland,

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Speaker 1: Oregon at Helium. Come. It's gonna be safe, it's gonna

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Speaker 1: be there. It's at one third capacity, so it's a

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Speaker 1: hundred tickets and a three hundred seat theater. It's gonna

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Speaker 1: be great. It's gonna be really fun. May thirteenth, fourteenth

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Speaker 1: and fifteenth, Portland, Oregon, Helium, Scotty, do you want to

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Speaker 1: hear about this? I do?

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Speaker 2: And I just also want to say, if I get

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Speaker 2: vaccinated between now and then, and the timing is right,

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Speaker 2: I'll come up there. I'll walk you per night. I'll

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Speaker 2: hang with you in Portland. If I'm a juiced up,

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Speaker 2: if I got antibodies in my veins, I'll come laugh

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Speaker 2: and laugh and loaf.

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Speaker 1: I love that idea.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, tell me about that, Peter Piper, I I don't

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Speaker 2: even remember. You caught me so off guard with it.

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Speaker 2: Give it to me again.

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Speaker 1: The title is all that's worth for this story. I'm

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Speaker 1: actually going to do a different story, Scottie. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: do a different story as my first story. But this

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Speaker 1: title was so good. It's from the smoking Gun Pickle

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Speaker 1: packing perv popped on private premise. A beautiful title, Yes,

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Speaker 1: just gorgeous gorgeous. Gorgeous. Yeah, and really the story is

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Speaker 1: is just in the title. It's one of those. It's

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Speaker 1: a guy who is jerking off on somebody's front lawn

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Speaker 1: with oh, gross up his ass.

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Speaker 2: We're not for that, We're anti that.

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Speaker 1: I don't like that guy. I don't really want to

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Speaker 1: talk about that guy.

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Speaker 2: Nope.

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Speaker 1: Is it funny yes? Could it be malicious also yes?

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Speaker 1: So instead let's get into this dumbus. This is also

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Speaker 1: another thing that could be malicious. Oh great, but it

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Speaker 1: does not involve any any possible sexual intimidation. Company sued

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Speaker 1: by New Jersey man for sending him chocolate penis, fake poop,

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Speaker 1: exploding glitter.

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Speaker 2: Yep, I had bananimals send well, actually was before that.

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Speaker 2: I had someone send me an exploding glitter bomb in

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Speaker 2: the mail that's like a tube, and I opened it.

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Speaker 2: I just leased a new car. I opened it, and

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Speaker 2: for three years, whenever I'd get regularly scheduled maintenance, they

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Speaker 2: would be like, there's a lot of glitter in your car,

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Speaker 2: and I'd be like, I have vacuum this car seven

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Speaker 2: hundred times. I love exploding chocolate ding dung.

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Speaker 1: I love I mean, I always used to say, because

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Speaker 1: I used to have a whole set about bedbugs until

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Speaker 1: I realized it makes on people uncomfortable just to hear

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Speaker 1: the word in a theater. But I always referred to

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Speaker 1: bedbugs as like as the glitter of insects, Like it's

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Speaker 1: all it takes is one person hugging you with glitter on,

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Speaker 1: and then you have glitter like in your best for

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Speaker 1: like six months. The same thing with bed bugs. One

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Speaker 1: person with bed bugs hugging you, and you got I

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Speaker 1: don't know if that's how it works anyway. Yeah, this

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Speaker 1: was sent in by Soush Bagos. It's a at sushi

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Speaker 1: the Pouci. I don't it's a great I'm in, I'm

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Speaker 1: interested in. This is an NJ dot com written by

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Speaker 1: Anthony g Atrino, Anthony Best.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, best in the biz. Doesn't sound a New Jersey

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Speaker 2: at all.

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Speaker 1: It's the most New Jersey. Anthony g Atrino, Hello, I

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Speaker 1: right for NJ dot com. All right in South Orange

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Speaker 1: company sued by NJ man for sending him chocolate penis,

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Speaker 1: fake poop, exploding glitter okay. A burgen Man has filed

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Speaker 1: suit against a prank company based in New York, alleging

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Speaker 1: they mailed him a chocolate penis, of glitter bomb and

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Speaker 1: other packages meant to shock, offend, and frighten him. Nicholas

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Speaker 1: Corretta h Nicholas Coretta again a good NJ name. Forty

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Speaker 1: Coretta claims in court papers at R and D Promos,

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Speaker 1: also Noon known as Ruined Days send him multiple unsolicited,

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Speaker 1: obscene and harmful packages over the course of eighteen months.

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Speaker 1: Ruined Days, which is based in Queens, allows customers to

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Speaker 1: anonymously send glitter bombs, imitation feces, bags of dirt, and

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Speaker 1: another annoyance pranks to unsuspectediens. Quote re ruin your Enemy's day,

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Speaker 1: the literature states, So this is like, I go back

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Speaker 1: and forth with whose side I'm on the fact that

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Speaker 1: suing the company that provides this service makes me dislike

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Speaker 1: this man right at the get go. So I think,

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Speaker 1: I mean, I think I'm not on his side. But

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Speaker 1: in May twenty nineteen, a chocolate penis was sent to

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Speaker 1: Kreta at his office in inside a package ye quote

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Speaker 1: designed to disguise the true nature of its contents. What

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Speaker 1: do you want a big chocolate penis package? Pal, states

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Speaker 1: the suit filed last month. When he opened the package

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Speaker 1: and saw the fake penis, Coreta claims he quote suffered fear,

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Speaker 1: no an emotional distro get over it.

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Speaker 2: Who doesn't want to see a chocolate penis every now

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Speaker 2: and then?

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Speaker 1: I mean, if I get mailed a chocolate penis, that's

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Speaker 1: a that's a that's not ruining my days. I'm enjoying

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Speaker 1: my day more because of it.

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Speaker 2: Yes, at really nice hotels they leave one on your

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Speaker 2: you know, on your pillow right before you go to

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Speaker 2: bed after turndown service, and I'm just like, it's going

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Speaker 2: to be a fun night.

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Speaker 1: Does this guy also try and sue like a bridal

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Speaker 1: showers that have like painis straws in a restaurant.

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Speaker 2: Do you go to Nashville or Vegas, bud You're gonna

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Speaker 2: see ding dongs hanging off of every body part for

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Speaker 2: just hordes of women walking by.

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Speaker 1: In November twenty twenty, Kreta received a spring loaded glitter

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Speaker 1: bomb the worst a Nondescuare package and blew up in

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Speaker 1: his face. The lawsuit states, quite wow. Coretta opened the

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Speaker 1: package and the glitter bomb exploded in his face, causing

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Speaker 1: glitter to strike him with force in the eyes, horrors,

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Speaker 1: and mouth. The glitter became lodged in mister Kreta's clothing

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Speaker 1: as well as a nearby desk, files and carpet. I mean,

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Speaker 1: this guy is suing for like seventy five thousand dollars

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Speaker 1: no glitter. And also the company didn't do it. It's

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Speaker 1: a buddy of his who's like walking with him.

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Speaker 2: Also who opens a package face first like mine exploded.

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Speaker 2: It comes in a tube that looks like the roll

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Speaker 2: of the cardboard, a toilet paper roll. So it's this

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Speaker 2: little thing and its back. So I just thought it

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Speaker 2: was like postcard. I thought it was like art or

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Speaker 2: some or candy or something, and so I opened it

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Speaker 2: like a normal person and not pointing the thing I

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Speaker 2: was opening towards my face. I've seen uh, spring loaded

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Speaker 2: snakes jump out of peanut brittle cans. I know, comedy,

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Speaker 2: but this guy is just like what's in here? Booch?

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Speaker 1: And then the last thing was that he was sent

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Speaker 1: chocolate imitation feces and Kreta again a quote from the lawsuit.

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Speaker 2: No.

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Speaker 1: Kreda was shocked and frightened by the contents quote and

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Speaker 1: defended that the package of chocolate imitation feces came in

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Speaker 1: contact with his body. Oh boy, there's swing him seventy

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Speaker 1: five thousand dollars along with court fees and post judgment interest. Uh,

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Speaker 1: pretty intense. This guy is sucks.

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Speaker 2: He's a party pooper.

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Speaker 1: I mean, like, he's the guy. This is the guy

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Speaker 1: you want to send these things too. No joke I

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Speaker 1: wish I had is.

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Speaker 2: I mean, now, all I want to do is prank

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Speaker 2: this guy anonymously for the rest of his life. Now,

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Speaker 2: you can't be a bad sport. Like, Okay, I understand

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Speaker 2: the thing exploding into your eye. If he was blinded,

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Speaker 2: I'd be like, go get it. Yeah, but if you're

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Speaker 2: just embarrassed. And also the chocolate ding dong one, you

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Speaker 2: get over yourself. Man, Come on, if that's freaking you out,

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Speaker 2: the world's freaking you out.

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Speaker 1: I know. And also, like the craziest part is that

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Speaker 1: it is someone doing it to him. It's not the company.

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Speaker 1: Someone's paying the company. Company is not fucking with this

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Speaker 1: guy for fun. Someone is paying them and requesting this

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Speaker 1: over and over and over again. Yes, he's really just

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Speaker 1: got to find out who's pranking him. This is like

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Speaker 1: the saddest way to find out who's pranking you.

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Speaker 2: Yes, and he probably deserves it based on this response

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Speaker 2: and also the fact that those are three very different

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Speaker 2: pranks and they all had huge impact on him. None

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Speaker 2: of those even the glitter bomb in my car, it

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Speaker 2: didn't ruin my day. I just was like, whoever did

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Speaker 2: this got me so good?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: I would be more mad if somebody tried to throw

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Speaker 2: me a surprise party. I would be I would sue that.

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Speaker 2: I think I would be like, no, not for me?

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Speaker 1: All right, scatty, give us another one?

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Speaker 2: Oh kay, dopey hmm, I got a bunch of good ones.

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Speaker 2: Which one? Oh?

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Speaker 1: This one's fun.

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Speaker 2: West Australian mates rescued after mattress boat mattress boat which

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Speaker 2: air mattress drifts drifts nearly one hundred miles out to sea. Okay,

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Speaker 2: this was written by Hamish Goodall or maybe sent in

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Speaker 2: by Hamish Goodall. I'll have to double check which banana

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Speaker 2: because I don't have a name on it. We're going

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Speaker 2: to say was written by Hamish Goodal.

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Speaker 1: A couple people sent this in, so thank you to

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Speaker 1: everyone who did.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll look it up. We'll plug it in seven

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Speaker 2: news dot com dot AU. Two blokes have been rescued

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Speaker 2: after the blow up mattress they were drinking beer on

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Speaker 2: drifted out to sea off the West Australian coast.

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Speaker 1: Okay, right away, right away, I have a question for you. Yes,

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Speaker 1: Australia is so different. There is no even if you're

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Speaker 1: writing like a fun story, yes, about guys who are

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Speaker 1: drinking and got to see. No newspaper in the United

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Speaker 1: States would be like two dudes, got like, it would

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Speaker 1: never start with two dudes.

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Speaker 2: It'd always like two.

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Speaker 1: Men, or like two gentlemen, not gentlemen. They wouldn't start

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Speaker 1: with gentlemen.

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Speaker 2: No, but I know what you mean. It's like, we

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Speaker 2: know what's going on here. The country knows what's going

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Speaker 2: on here. Also, I don't know the Western Australian coast.

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Speaker 2: That's where like Perth is, right, Yeah, that's all I've

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Speaker 2: been there.

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Speaker 1: But I hear it's a wild and you know it's

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Speaker 1: like the small small towns and then wilderness.

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Speaker 2: I would definitely like to explore it at.

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Speaker 1: Some point, very rough oceans over there.

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Speaker 2: Well, it sounds like it because these two blokes were

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Speaker 2: equipped with nothing but an eski, which is a cooler

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Speaker 2: filled with frothies, which are beers.

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Speaker 1: And as.

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Speaker 2: I know, Hamish just went to town. If Hamish isn't

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Speaker 2: our ban animal, Hamish, he might be the best builds

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Speaker 2: and a dying phone. Jackson Perry and Noah Palmer were

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Speaker 2: stranded out in the Indian Ocean for almost three hours.

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Speaker 2: They drifted out. They told the Sunrise I guess sun Rises,

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Speaker 2: a newspaper, that they had only planned to go for

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Speaker 2: a leisurely float along the water on Saturday. Quote. We

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Speaker 2: had this mattress out in front of Noah's house. It

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Speaker 2: was a bit deflated, so we decided to pump it

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Speaker 2: up and going down to drift on the water. Probably

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Speaker 2: only about fifty meters, said mister Perry. The wind picked

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Speaker 2: up and sent them adrift. We got a little bit

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Speaker 2: too far out. The wind kept picking me up and

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Speaker 2: we got sent very far out to sea. His first mate,

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Speaker 2: Noah Palmer, said. Their stress escalated after their beers started

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Speaker 2: to run out.

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Speaker 1: Oh see, that is it. You don't just get yeah,

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Speaker 1: unless you're a child, you don't just get blown out

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Speaker 1: to sea without noticing. There's a long periods where you're like, h,

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Speaker 1: I think we're farther out than we wanted to be,

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Speaker 1: and then it's like, I think we're even farther at

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Speaker 1: any place. There was times you can start to swim

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Speaker 1: back and pull it back, yes, drinking and not doing shit.

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Speaker 2: They were day drinking as buddies on an air mattress

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Speaker 2: in the Indian Ocean. I don't think I've ever been

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Speaker 2: in the Indian Ocean. That's also on my new bucket list.

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Speaker 2: As long as we had enough beers to keep us going,

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Speaker 2: we felt we were all right. As soon as the

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Speaker 2: beers got a bit low, we tried to head back

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Speaker 2: in there. This is when it gets just this is

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Speaker 2: my sweet spot. This is when this article just tickles me. Oh,

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Speaker 2: they're barely see where the vessels started to slowly sink

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Speaker 2: sink from holes in the mattress. Quote So Noah's like

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Speaker 2: jumping off every ten minutes to keep blowing the mattress up,

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Speaker 2: said mister Perry. Mandurah volunteer rescuers received a call from

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Speaker 2: help with the help of their friend texts Reeks.

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Speaker 1: Text Reeks and Australia. Oh God, what a.

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Speaker 2: Name and it's r e e Ks text Reeks and

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Speaker 2: Reuben the first to respond and they could not believe

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Speaker 2: what they saw. Ruben spots this thing way out in

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Speaker 2: the ocean on the horizon and goes, I think that's them,

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Speaker 2: text I go, surely not there's no way they are

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Speaker 2: that far out on a mattress. Oh his name is

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Speaker 2: short for Texas Reeks, by the way, I assumed. Great.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, and why.

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Speaker 2: Wouldn't you Texas reeks who rushed to pick them up

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Speaker 2: on a jet ski only moments before their mobile phones

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Speaker 2: ran out of batteries. Quote, we all know that text

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Speaker 2: was thirty forty minutes away and we were just hoping

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Speaker 2: that he would find us at some point. So just

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Speaker 2: think about that forty minutes away. They got a little worried,

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Speaker 2: but Perry joke, theyski filled with beers definitely kept us

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Speaker 2: optimistic and occupied before we were eventually picked up. Just

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Speaker 2: two Ausie bros being Ausie Bros and not a.

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Speaker 1: Sad ending, not a sad ending. Also, it seems like

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Speaker 1: maybe there was forty five minutes of panic on these

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Speaker 1: guys part. You know, sounds like it was two hours

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Speaker 1: and fifteen minutes of not caring whatsoever, right, and that

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Speaker 1: forty five minutes of like, okay, now we should maybe

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Speaker 1: be worried.

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Speaker 2: Also, I don't know what the great white shark situation is,

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Speaker 2: but I feel like Australia's got a pretty good number

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Speaker 2: of them, and the fact that he had to keep

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Speaker 2: hopping in. I'm sure they were peeing like crazy if

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Speaker 2: they're drinking a cooler of frothyes, and eski of Frothyes

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Speaker 2: they were. They dodged the bullets here. I'm happy these

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Speaker 2: guys made it okay. But it made me think of

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Speaker 2: the you're you and Lauren created the La River Race,

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Speaker 2: which I think somebody had sort of an air mattress on.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah it was. I'm looking at a photograph of

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Speaker 1: it from the La Times that I so far grown

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Speaker 1: up and framed so fun. It was so yeah, So

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Speaker 1: Lauren and I wanted to do that.

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Speaker 2: This was.

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Speaker 1: Before she was.

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Speaker 2: It was a long time ago.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it was two thousand and sixteen. It was twenty fifteen,

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Speaker 1: and it was finally the end of the drought. Like

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Speaker 1: there had been a drought in La for ten years.

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Speaker 1: Finally scared of reins came so scary, and it was

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Speaker 1: like we need to like celebrate the fact the rains came.

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Speaker 1: We're going to have the first ever tube brace down

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Speaker 1: the La River. Yes, and the and the For those

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Speaker 1: of you who don't know what looks like it is,

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Speaker 1: it's been. It's essentially, it's been. It's concretized. I don't

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Speaker 1: know what the word is. It's essentially used to be

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Speaker 1: like it used to flood all the time. So then

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Speaker 1: what people did was just build concrete walls around. Yes,

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Speaker 1: so if you've ever a concrete river, it's a concrete river.

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Speaker 1: If you've ever seen the movie Drive, they're like drive

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Speaker 1: on the river because.

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Speaker 2: It's terminator to John Connor's on a Loyal dirt bike

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Speaker 2: trying to outrun the T one thousand and the La

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Speaker 2: River Greece.

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Speaker 1: You know, like that's so it's just like this big

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Speaker 1: but there's a section of it near my house that

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Speaker 1: is they're letting the middle part kind of like go

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Speaker 1: back to nature. So we wanted to kind of do

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Speaker 1: it there and uh so we so we made a website.

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Speaker 1: It's very easy nowadays to make website. We took to easy,

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Speaker 1: some would say so insane. We took two photograph of

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Speaker 1: us like by the river with tubes and then made

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Speaker 1: this website and said like we're gonna do this. People

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Speaker 1: that the level the level of reaction was insane on

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Speaker 1: both sides. It was crazy. Six hundred people signed up

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Speaker 1: to do it. Here's the teachable moments. As many people

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Speaker 1: were like almost death threats level of like angry that

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Speaker 1: we would think to like go into the La River

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Speaker 1: with two Yeah, well it is a drain. It's a drain.

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Speaker 2: What is it called? When it's like, when it rains,

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Speaker 2: it does flood the sewer lines into the river.

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Speaker 1: And I also learned that right up from at water

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Speaker 1: is a sewage treatment plant that just dumps directly into

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Speaker 1: the La River. So anything past that point is actual

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Speaker 1: it's wastewater, it's treated wastewater. But still and so we

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Speaker 1: so we're like this is getting a little out of control,

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Speaker 1: and we were gonna plant. We planned on doing it

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Speaker 1: in down in Frogtown, and we found a guy who

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Speaker 1: was like, I'll host the after parties. He had this

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Speaker 1: big warehouse space, remember amazing six hundred people fucking tubing

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Speaker 1: the river and then a after party. Then the guy

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Speaker 1: who was supposed to have the after party contacted us.

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Speaker 1: He's like, he's like, I can't do it, man. He's like,

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Speaker 1: my landlord found out about this because it was just

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Speaker 1: like so many people were talking about it. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: he said if I have it, he'll kick me out. Yep,

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Speaker 1: So I can't have the party. And then we got

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Speaker 1: a cease and desist letter from the Army Corps of

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Speaker 1: Engineers incredible, telling us that if we did it that

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Speaker 1: they would arrest everyone.

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Speaker 2: And this was from charity too. You were raising money

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Speaker 2: for like the La Watershed or something, Friends of the

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Speaker 2: La River. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So it was like five dollars to enter, and we're

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Speaker 1: gonna raise money, and we like printed up these awesome

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Speaker 1: little race bibs said so great, said La River tube

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Speaker 1: race or whatever.

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Speaker 2: No, it said tube in for a bruising it said

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Speaker 2: tube and for a bruisin.

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Speaker 1: That is correct. And so then so we're like, oh no,

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Speaker 1: so we needed to make it seem like it was

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Speaker 1: shut down, but we still were going to do it.

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00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:09,760
Speaker 1: So we like sent down a message to because there's

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Speaker 1: obviously cops on the email list that we had created. Yes,

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00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,800
Speaker 1: we sent in a message saying it wasn't happening, but

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Speaker 1: if you wanted to, we put like in parenthesis, right,

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Speaker 1: take a picture at the water like beat us. And

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Speaker 1: we went to a different place because Frogtown, because of

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00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:28,520
Speaker 1: it's being gentrified, they've got to stick up their ass,

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Speaker 1: and went to an area of the labor the notdy

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Speaker 1: gives a shit about downtown. Oh yeah, and so how

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Speaker 1: many people came, maybe like twenty.

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Speaker 2: Fourteen fourteen, so six hundred signed up, fourteen showed up.

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Speaker 2: About about twenty people watched from the wings in horror

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Speaker 2: as we trudged out into a sewer. We were racing

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Speaker 2: bridge to bridge overpast overpass.

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Speaker 1: But there's this is downtown, this downtown where it's just

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Speaker 1: all concrete.

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Speaker 2: And so the way we got to the river was

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00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:00,399
Speaker 2: we all kind of we went, We all mated. A

377
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:03,000
Speaker 2: brewery handed out the bibs, we all put bibs on.

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00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:06,479
Speaker 2: It was Andy Wood was there, our friend. But then

379
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,520
Speaker 2: there were a bunch of people that we didn't know,

380
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:11,840
Speaker 2: including a bunch of really excitable Brits that just brought

381
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:16,680
Speaker 2: air mattresses and pool floats. And the idea was from

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00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:20,480
Speaker 2: one overpass, one bridge to another was the start line

383
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Speaker 2: and the finish line.

384
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Speaker 1: Yeah, it was like North sixth Street to North seventh Street.

385
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:25,960
Speaker 2: Yes, and so anybody in La right now is probably

386
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:30,040
Speaker 2: dry heaving or cringing or injecting themselves with penicillin. So

387
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:34,800
Speaker 2: we you have to walk this kind of tunnel to

388
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:36,399
Speaker 2: get to the river at that part, so we were

389
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,840
Speaker 2: kind of in cognito. I'm sure you remember this now

390
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,879
Speaker 2: that I'm about to say it. There was a porn

391
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Speaker 2: photo shoe happening in the sewer way. So the first

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Speaker 2: thing we do is fourteen of us wearing water shoes. Well,

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Speaker 2: you know, Kirk Prie went to.

394
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Speaker 1: Big Tubes, pool floats, noodles.

395
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Speaker 2: I had a hunch that a local paper somebody would

396
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:58,159
Speaker 2: show up, so I wore a shirt that said Bazinga

397
00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:00,720
Speaker 2: with Sheldon from Big Bang Theory on it, a shirt

398
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,600
Speaker 2: that I never have worn before or since. But I

399
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:07,680
Speaker 2: was like, I'm going to amplify stupid this is. And

400
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:11,720
Speaker 2: so we passed this naked woman and these two photographers

401
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:13,679
Speaker 2: in a sewer and then we all go out and.

402
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:17,600
Speaker 1: They also have remember a smoke machine, so we have

403
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:21,320
Speaker 1: to walk through a tunnel. It's like literally you descend

404
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:24,479
Speaker 1: into the ground. We're in a dark tunnel, and then

405
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:28,040
Speaker 1: you come out on the edge of the of like

406
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:31,240
Speaker 1: the graded sides of the of the river. But so

407
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:33,360
Speaker 1: inside they had a smoke machine. So it's a bunch

408
00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:35,080
Speaker 1: of smoke and we're like, what's happening. Something on fire?

409
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:36,639
Speaker 1: And then we passed by it's like no, it's like

410
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:39,160
Speaker 1: a really nice smoke machine. This woman is like pulling

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00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:40,159
Speaker 1: her clothes back on.

412
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:44,960
Speaker 2: Yes, totally saw boob totally saw, and I was like, okay,

413
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:48,800
Speaker 2: so this is where they shoot the lowest budget, like

414
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:52,520
Speaker 2: Nudi Mags. And then so we all trudge out into

415
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:56,000
Speaker 2: you know, knee deep water or shower. But I think

416
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,760
Speaker 2: the Brits really were like, this is a race. My

417
00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:01,840
Speaker 2: strategy was I was holding a beverage, an alcoholic beverage,

418
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:03,720
Speaker 2: and I was not going to touch the water at

419
00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:05,840
Speaker 2: all with any body part that did not need to

420
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:10,080
Speaker 2: touch it. So really feed only. Yeah, so we float down,

421
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:11,600
Speaker 2: I get dead last.

422
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:13,040
Speaker 1: And what then what? But also just so you know,

423
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:17,359
Speaker 1: we put up a like a winning you know, a

424
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:21,200
Speaker 1: finish line. Yeah, like a fish line. It's a classic word. Yes,

425
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,280
Speaker 1: a finish line that's actually a ribbon in between two

426
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,840
Speaker 1: of the pillars of the bridge. Yes, that's going to

427
00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:29,040
Speaker 1: be like where we end. So we walk all the

428
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:31,280
Speaker 1: way up. Oh and also just some guy shows up

429
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:35,240
Speaker 1: in a kayak to be like a lifeguard. He decided

430
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:36,720
Speaker 1: that he was just going to be a lifeguard. A

431
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:38,399
Speaker 1: guy showed up with a drone that we didn't know

432
00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:40,480
Speaker 1: that was just filming us. So we got drone footage.

433
00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:43,920
Speaker 1: Then we got drone footage, and also just so everyone's clear.

434
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:47,480
Speaker 1: Like the majority of the river is there's water on it.

435
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:50,959
Speaker 1: It's very wide, but it's about a quarter of an

436
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:54,840
Speaker 1: inch deep, right, yes, then in the middle there's one

437
00:22:54,960 --> 00:23:01,440
Speaker 1: section channel a foot foot. Yet the amount of fear

438
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:04,160
Speaker 1: that these fucking people had that we were gonna drowned

439
00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:08,480
Speaker 1: in the La River in a foot of water is insane.

440
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:11,399
Speaker 2: Okay, yes, a cocker spaniel could live in that amount

441
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:11,720
Speaker 2: of water.

442
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:13,119
Speaker 1: You can stand up.

443
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,119
Speaker 2: So the Brits are paddling hard. I get caught up

444
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:18,879
Speaker 2: on the Shallows. I get dead last by five minutes

445
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:21,200
Speaker 2: because I just was like, I am not paddling. But

446
00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:24,159
Speaker 2: then the Brits won and we don't know who they were,

447
00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:26,000
Speaker 2: and I hope they listened to bananas And if you do,

448
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:28,680
Speaker 2: call the Banana phone two one three two one four

449
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:31,960
Speaker 2: seven nine seven four because you guys were great. We

450
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:33,919
Speaker 2: got a great group photo that we should probably use

451
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:39,280
Speaker 2: for this podcast episode is our thing. But that kid

452
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:42,679
Speaker 2: was so funny, like he was probably like early twenties,

453
00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:45,520
Speaker 2: but he was like really proud of winning on his

454
00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:49,200
Speaker 2: deflating air mattress and his body was submerged, like only

455
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:52,680
Speaker 2: his head and feet were out. Those photos made me nauseous.

456
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:55,040
Speaker 2: And then we had an afterparty at Varnish. That's what

457
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:57,080
Speaker 2: it's called, right, villains Varnish.

458
00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:01,040
Speaker 1: Oh, no villains, Villains Villains Tavern fun time.

459
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:04,520
Speaker 2: But he La Weekly came and somebody else wrote a

460
00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:06,920
Speaker 2: really funny article about all of us and what idiots

461
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:08,840
Speaker 2: we were and that you planned it, Laren planned it,

462
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:11,720
Speaker 2: and we raised all this money. But that kid to

463
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:14,680
Speaker 2: the reporter was like, I won't even try to do

464
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:16,080
Speaker 2: a British accent, but he was like.

465
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:21,119
Speaker 3: In the history of racing, not since the ostriches on

466
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:25,680
Speaker 3: the railroad track has any brit ever so swiftly, and

467
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:26,159
Speaker 3: he was.

468
00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:29,640
Speaker 2: Incredible and I'm like giggling. We took a great group

469
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:31,159
Speaker 2: photo and then there were a bunch of people in

470
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:35,280
Speaker 2: attendance who were clearly afraid to get in that water, who,

471
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:37,920
Speaker 2: after seeing us all just giggling and having a great time,

472
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,639
Speaker 2: borrowed tubes, including mine, and then they just floated the course.

473
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:42,320
Speaker 1: Yeah.

474
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:46,399
Speaker 2: And then so that tunnel that we walked through, the

475
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:50,720
Speaker 2: poop shoot tunnel, past the porn stars and you know,

476
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:54,240
Speaker 2: whoever else in the trash do you remember what happened

477
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:55,280
Speaker 2: at the end of that race.

478
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:59,040
Speaker 1: Of how can you forget. So we're like, this is

479
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,080
Speaker 1: before we're getting ready to leave.

480
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:03,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, race is over, races over.

481
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:06,439
Speaker 1: We're like, all right, wrap it up, let's go get drinks.

482
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:08,840
Speaker 1: And we were all already drinking as well.

483
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:10,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, all of.

484
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:15,159
Speaker 1: A sudden you just hear whoom and coming out of

485
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:19,560
Speaker 1: the tunnel insane to a river was a bm was

486
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:21,080
Speaker 1: a BMW right now, Yes.

487
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:24,399
Speaker 2: A lowered like BMW M three with a spoiler.

488
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,119
Speaker 1: It was two people in it, two people in it.

489
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:33,359
Speaker 1: They come they completely bottom out because absolutely the angle

490
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:36,680
Speaker 1: is like at a forty five degree angle the concrete wall,

491
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:40,959
Speaker 1: so it's like it slams down, scrapes, it makes us

492
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:45,640
Speaker 1: horrible noise, and then they just take off, yes, down

493
00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:49,360
Speaker 1: the river and it's again this is it's filled with water,

494
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:52,520
Speaker 1: so like waters and it's sewage waters. Water is shooting

495
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:54,600
Speaker 1: up on either sides, and we're just like, this is

496
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:57,320
Speaker 1: the fucking this is like, there's no rules here.

497
00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:01,720
Speaker 2: It was a lawless It was lawless and so we yeah,

498
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:04,560
Speaker 2: and we should add those people had no idea what

499
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:07,119
Speaker 2: we were doing. Also, and the reverse is so funny too,

500
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:11,440
Speaker 2: So the people shooting naked photos were probably like weird

501
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:13,880
Speaker 2: normal these kids are weird for getting in the water.

502
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,240
Speaker 2: We're like, you guys are weird. And then this car

503
00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:19,639
Speaker 2: guy comes. He's like, so there's a photo shoot in

504
00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:22,800
Speaker 2: a float race and their tube in the river, and

505
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:26,240
Speaker 2: then they got stuck. They went down in incline, and

506
00:26:26,359 --> 00:26:28,439
Speaker 2: then that BMW got stuck in the water. And then

507
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:30,479
Speaker 2: the cops came. Well, we were all leaving. We all

508
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:31,360
Speaker 2: thought we were gonna.

509
00:26:31,119 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 1: Get in trouble.

510
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:34,200
Speaker 2: The cop card just drives right down into the river

511
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:38,119
Speaker 2: and gets a guy in a stranded BMW a ticket.

512
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:42,280
Speaker 1: The fact that the cops in, like we were leaving,

513
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:44,920
Speaker 1: We're like, there's no nothing else weird could have happened.

514
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,480
Speaker 1: And then the cops come in a big suv. Yeah,

515
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,480
Speaker 1: and then we're like there's a guy stuck over there.

516
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:51,960
Speaker 1: Like what They were like, what do you here for?

517
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 1: And they're like, we heard some people were swimming. I

518
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:57,000
Speaker 1: was like, no, nobody's swimming, and we're all holding tubes

519
00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:58,240
Speaker 1: and we're all soaking wet.

520
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:00,399
Speaker 2: I'm in my convertible with a giant tube in the

521
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:05,040
Speaker 2: back seat, just sticking out, soaking wet. I actually bought

522
00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:06,520
Speaker 2: a bottle of something I think it was called like

523
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:09,800
Speaker 2: biotine or some like. It was like iodine basically, and

524
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:11,440
Speaker 2: I just went when everybody went in the bar, I

525
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:13,720
Speaker 2: walked to my car and I just stripped off everything

526
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:15,359
Speaker 2: I had out of change of clothes and just rubbed

527
00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:18,480
Speaker 2: my like legs to my feet in iodine. And I

528
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 2: was like, I don't know if this smells. I don't remember,

529
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,600
Speaker 2: but I was like, I'm just so many people were like,

530
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:26,400
Speaker 2: did you guys really do that? And the Elli Weekly

531
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:28,400
Speaker 2: article was so funny because they were like a bunch

532
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:29,600
Speaker 2: of idiots floated.

533
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:30,280
Speaker 1: The river this weekend.

534
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 2: I that do.

535
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:36,280
Speaker 1: Here's the best part. Yes, sir, do you remember the

536
00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:42,080
Speaker 1: woman from is either Georgia or Alabama? Absolutely, she came.

537
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:46,199
Speaker 1: She she deserves banana the week for just yes, Oh

538
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:50,440
Speaker 1: my gosh. She was so awesome, so psyched. But everyone

539
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:54,760
Speaker 1: else wore like, uh, like clothes, you know, like a

540
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:59,399
Speaker 1: shirt and pants or skin. Everyone had like sneakers on

541
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:03,919
Speaker 1: or or water shoes, water shoes or something. She comes

542
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:09,160
Speaker 1: just just straight up in a bikini and then proceeds

543
00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:14,760
Speaker 1: and she's bare fasted. She's barefoot and proceeds. She like

544
00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:19,200
Speaker 1: the first time because it's all covered the part of

545
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:22,280
Speaker 1: the river that is covered in like a quarter inch

546
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:25,320
Speaker 1: of water. All of that is algae, so it's just

547
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:31,320
Speaker 1: this green, viscous, very slippery material. She slips and hits hard,

548
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:34,600
Speaker 1: and then we all like cheer for her because it's

549
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:38,320
Speaker 1: like you don't want her to be feeling bare. Yeah, yes,

550
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 1: and then we're like, there's just like be careful on there,

551
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:44,680
Speaker 1: you know, it's drinking. And then like five minutes later,

552
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:50,800
Speaker 1: slips boom, like goes down again hardy, and the response

553
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:53,320
Speaker 1: is like muted, like it's like a couple of claps

554
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:57,680
Speaker 1: like okay, picture, and then the third time she goes down,

555
00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:01,560
Speaker 1: we're just like we can't clap anymore. Yeah, it was

556
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:02,880
Speaker 1: violent falls.

557
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:06,800
Speaker 2: It was Chris Farley levels of just like like no

558
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:10,800
Speaker 2: hands down, just standing and then suddenly splatting on the

559
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:13,920
Speaker 2: ground and where we don't really know her and she's

560
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:16,440
Speaker 2: like like so you're like helping her up, but you're

561
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:18,000
Speaker 2: like are you don't, like, do you want to wear

562
00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:20,320
Speaker 2: my shoes? And she's like, I'm mine, I'm mine.

563
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 1: She was so drunk. And then afterwards this is the

564
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:26,400
Speaker 1: best part I had, uh, because I always have it

565
00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:29,160
Speaker 1: for if I go surfing. After the rain, I added

566
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:33,160
Speaker 1: my car hydrogen peroxide and listerine, and I offered her

567
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:36,040
Speaker 1: because she had cuts. She had like cuts on her legs.

568
00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:37,720
Speaker 1: Out does that connect here? You want to pour some

569
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:42,120
Speaker 1: hydrogen peroxide? And she goes, no way. I've had worse

570
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:47,160
Speaker 1: in Georgia. Carl is the most hardcore girl I've ever

571
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:48,440
Speaker 1: met in my entire life.

572
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:50,480
Speaker 2: Never got her name. I have no idea who she was,

573
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:52,880
Speaker 2: don't know she knew what we were doing. She had

574
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:55,920
Speaker 2: a bikini, she had flip flops, a bikini and a

575
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:59,240
Speaker 2: raft and she got third place and probably gone rhea

576
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:01,240
Speaker 2: and God, bless God, bless her.

577
00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:04,240
Speaker 1: All right, I'll tease you out and we'll come back

578
00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:09,080
Speaker 1: in crystal Ball Sparks, Wisconsin, house fire.

579
00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:12,719
Speaker 2: No way. Yes, Bananas.

580
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:42,240
Speaker 1: Ba ba ba, we aren't back. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome

581
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:45,680
Speaker 1: back to Bananas. It's just me and Scottie today.

582
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:47,280
Speaker 2: That's all you need.

583
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:49,800
Speaker 1: We got a lot of listen guys. Thank you so

584
00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:52,280
Speaker 1: much for sending these stories in. Go to our instagram.

585
00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:57,040
Speaker 1: All right, please do the Bananas Podcast. Follow us d

586
00:30:57,240 --> 00:31:00,360
Speaker 1: m us, then go to Apple Podcast, give us a

587
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:02,760
Speaker 1: rate and review it may please to do it. We're

588
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:06,040
Speaker 1: good boys. We're good boys. If you want to email

589
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 1: us your personal stories. We need personal bananas stories as well. Yes,

590
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:11,800
Speaker 1: oh that's another thing. You can email us at the

591
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:15,680
Speaker 1: Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com. But our minisodes will

592
00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:20,120
Speaker 1: start dropping on our main feed they've been behind the Yeah,

593
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 1: probably this week or next week. Yeah, so you can

594
00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:24,320
Speaker 1: listen to what we talked about six months ago.

595
00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:27,840
Speaker 2: Yep, it'll be very topical. And but like always, we

596
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:30,960
Speaker 2: don't mention anything outside of the great choar. So dig

597
00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:34,120
Speaker 2: in have a little nuggets of twenty twenty five minute minisodes,

598
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:39,960
Speaker 2: your stories, our stories. Also, we had to we sold

599
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:42,200
Speaker 2: out of our Bananas hoodies in our merch store on

600
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:45,320
Speaker 2: exactly Right Media dot com. And but we got new

601
00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:47,560
Speaker 2: ones coming in. We got new We got a lot

602
00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:49,480
Speaker 2: of new merch coming out soon, so keep your eyes

603
00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:51,479
Speaker 2: on that. We're making some best in the biz shirts

604
00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 2: and best in the biz. We know you' all gonna

605
00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:56,160
Speaker 2: love them. And buy those pine glasses. They're dope. I'm

606
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:58,760
Speaker 2: drinking out of one right now. It's I'm drinking a

607
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:02,560
Speaker 2: Murphy's Irish stout. It's delicious. I'm day drinking with my

608
00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:05,600
Speaker 2: homeboy Kurdie b Oh And I wanted to give one

609
00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:09,560
Speaker 2: shout out to Anchorage, Alaska, Okay, when we go on tour,

610
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:11,640
Speaker 2: I don't know how. I don't know if we start

611
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:13,800
Speaker 2: it in Anchorage or we end it. But I've never been.

612
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:15,400
Speaker 2: You've done stand up there though, right.

613
00:32:15,680 --> 00:32:18,280
Speaker 1: I have done stand up not an Anchorage, but in

614
00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:22,280
Speaker 1: just up the up the road. Okay, I can't remember

615
00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:28,320
Speaker 1: Juno the one more, bigger, bigger, fair fair Banks fair.

616
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:32,800
Speaker 2: Sure, that sounds good. So legal to deliver moose meat

617
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:35,000
Speaker 2: from an airplane in Alaska. That is a state law.

618
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 2: Oh really, that's true. Uh, not good, So don't need

619
00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:44,120
Speaker 2: to stick to the other animals. Okay, So this is

620
00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:46,040
Speaker 2: a just a shout out to Nicole and Ryan. There

621
00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 2: ban animals. They they are partners. They own a dog

622
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:55,600
Speaker 2: grooming business and they listen to bananas while they cheer.

623
00:32:56,400 --> 00:33:00,640
Speaker 2: Beautiful pups, beautiful bananimals. It's called glow up. They say.

624
00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:03,200
Speaker 2: A ton of people in Anchorage listen to bananas because

625
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:04,680
Speaker 2: of them, So thank you. I'm just giving them a

626
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 2: shout out. If you happen to live in Anchorage and

627
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:09,000
Speaker 2: we happen to come up there and you happen to

628
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:12,160
Speaker 2: have a dog, go get your dog clipped. Go get

629
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:16,120
Speaker 2: the best in show. Make it look as the show Anyways,

630
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:17,640
Speaker 2: just want to give a shout out Nicole and Ryan,

631
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:19,680
Speaker 2: who are been animals who probably didn't think I would

632
00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:21,760
Speaker 2: really give him a shout out. Glow up Grooming Anchorage,

633
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:22,160
Speaker 2: do your.

634
00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:26,200
Speaker 1: Thing, all right, you're ready for this, buddy boy, I

635
00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:29,000
Speaker 1: am so ready. This was sent in by Kelsey George.

636
00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:29,920
Speaker 1: Thank you, Kelsey.

637
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:30,800
Speaker 2: Love that.

638
00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:34,360
Speaker 1: This is from People dot com. I've heard of it

639
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:42,239
Speaker 1: written by r Rachel Rachel, Rachel DeSantis. God her.

640
00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:45,560
Speaker 2: When I open a People magazine and Rachel DeSantis is typing,

641
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 2: it turns into a mirror and she takes my soul away.

642
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:50,959
Speaker 2: She might be the best in the business.

643
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:55,000
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Scotty crystal Ball Sparks Wisconsin house

644
00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:58,959
Speaker 1: fire causing two hundred and fifty thousand dollars worth of damage.

645
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:01,160
Speaker 2: Wow, but they didn't see that coming.

646
00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, a chrystal A crystal ball led to a dangerous

647
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:08,560
Speaker 1: accident in Wisconsin. And the person who sent this in

648
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:11,560
Speaker 1: told me that she bought I think Kelsey told me

649
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:13,520
Speaker 1: this or someone else told me that this was sent

650
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:15,320
Speaker 1: in by a few people. But Kelsey was a thirty

651
00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:20,480
Speaker 1: that when she bought a crystal ball, the woman who

652
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:22,759
Speaker 1: sold it to her was like, you need to keep

653
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:25,560
Speaker 1: a you need to keep a blanket over it. And

654
00:34:25,680 --> 00:34:28,680
Speaker 1: she was like, why is that because of like out

655
00:34:28,719 --> 00:34:32,279
Speaker 1: She's like, uh no, because because it will start a fire.

656
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:34,000
Speaker 2: Oh well they were right.

657
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:37,480
Speaker 1: So yeah, crystal ball led to a dangerous accident in Wisconsin.

658
00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:40,400
Speaker 1: Sunlight streaming in through the window of a home in

659
00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:46,600
Speaker 1: Delton set fire to a crystal ball. Holy shit, igniting

660
00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:48,839
Speaker 1: the family's living room and causing two hundred and fifty

661
00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:52,240
Speaker 1: thousand dollars worth of damage. That sentence, I'm gonna go back, Rachel,

662
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:55,160
Speaker 1: I know what happened here because I've read multiple articles.

663
00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:59,920
Speaker 1: Rachel DeSantis does not really catch what happens. The crystal

664
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:03,719
Speaker 1: ball did not set fire the crystal I mean, like

665
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:05,600
Speaker 1: it's a set fire to a crystal ball. The crystal

666
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:09,600
Speaker 1: ball did not like it turned into a laser beam exactly.

667
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:13,080
Speaker 1: We all know this couch caught fire. The couch caught fire.

668
00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:16,400
Speaker 1: It just it focuses the like a laser and then

669
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:18,480
Speaker 1: just started burning a hole in the couch and then

670
00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:21,840
Speaker 1: the whole couch caught fire. Uh. Luckily the only the

671
00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:24,320
Speaker 1: first floor was damaged, but the damage is intense.

672
00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:26,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, I bet it is a crystal ball lit your

673
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:29,919
Speaker 2: sofa on fire from the sun. The sun is so hot.

674
00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 2: I'm not getting anywhere near that thing.

675
00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:35,759
Speaker 1: I mean, listen, if you have a tragedy like a

676
00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:40,400
Speaker 1: house fire, the worst, the worst, at least it was

677
00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:43,920
Speaker 1: it was meant to happen. If a crystal ball it was.

678
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,719
Speaker 2: In your card happened, it was, it totally was.

679
00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:53,239
Speaker 1: And bring I bring this up because our good friend J. C.

680
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:58,719
Speaker 1: Catlin bet he lives in Wisconsin as well, and or

681
00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:02,520
Speaker 1: is Minnesota. He a Minnesota and his house just caught

682
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:06,160
Speaker 1: on fire. It burnt to the ground in them like

683
00:36:06,239 --> 00:36:08,680
Speaker 1: a couple minutes. He was insane. He was able to

684
00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:12,520
Speaker 1: get his family out. It was caused by it made

685
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:16,480
Speaker 1: possibly something in one of the chimney chimneys for a

686
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:19,120
Speaker 1: for a wood burning oven that he doesn't use very often.

687
00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:23,240
Speaker 1: So total freak accident. He is one of the funniest

688
00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:23,759
Speaker 1: people we know.

689
00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:28,560
Speaker 2: Absolutely og bananas too, Like before we have bananas. That

690
00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:31,600
Speaker 2: guy had the greatest stories, the greatest Twitter, the greatest Instagram,

691
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:32,960
Speaker 2: makes the coolest T shirts.

692
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:35,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, he makes these awesome T shirts that are just

693
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:38,480
Speaker 1: like he has. I have one that just says slam

694
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:43,040
Speaker 1: dunk and it's a big baseball Mit catching a basketball.

695
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:46,480
Speaker 2: I have one that's a terrible hand drawn drawing of

696
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:51,280
Speaker 2: Vin Diesel and it says Vin the Rock Diesel then quotes.

697
00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:55,640
Speaker 1: The baby. I have one that that is a guy

698
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:59,080
Speaker 1: dunking on another guy and it says, uh, call me.

699
00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:07,479
Speaker 1: I think I think it's called me. Doctor Dunk's mister

700
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:08,919
Speaker 1: basketball was my father.

701
00:37:09,239 --> 00:37:12,160
Speaker 2: And why wouldn't it be that? I love that so

702
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:12,719
Speaker 2: so much.

703
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:15,920
Speaker 1: He's got so many great shirts. We're gonna link to

704
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:19,480
Speaker 1: him in our story when this episode comes out, we'll

705
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:22,200
Speaker 1: post about it. Go buy his shirts. We need to

706
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:24,960
Speaker 1: support him. There's also a GoFundMe to try and give

707
00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:27,560
Speaker 1: him enough money so that he can survive. He literally

708
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:30,720
Speaker 1: survives off of making jokes online, he writes for ClickHole,

709
00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:33,680
Speaker 1: and from selling these very funny shirts, all of which

710
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:36,239
Speaker 1: burned up in the fire, so he has no way

711
00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:38,279
Speaker 1: of making any cash. So we're just wanna put it

712
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:40,839
Speaker 1: up there. If you have a couple bucks, send him

713
00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:45,080
Speaker 1: some money, buy a shirt, don't donate to the GoFundMe. Yeah,

714
00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:45,800
Speaker 1: get out.

715
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:49,040
Speaker 2: There, be the funniest person in your click with a J. C.

716
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:53,600
Speaker 2: Catlan shirt that nobody else will have. That's always a

717
00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:56,920
Speaker 2: thing I've always thought like, yeah, those shirts are so

718
00:37:57,080 --> 00:38:03,560
Speaker 2: damn funny. I went to Crawfish Boil on Easter Sunday

719
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:07,600
Speaker 2: in Mississippi in Purvis, Mississippi, and I was with a friend,

720
00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:12,000
Speaker 2: my buddy Van. We came up from Pensacola. He was like, Hey,

721
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:14,080
Speaker 2: there's this big crawfish boil. I want to show you

722
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:18,040
Speaker 2: how Mississippi does stuff. We drove past kids on crosses

723
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:20,400
Speaker 2: that were covering blood, like actual kids that were like

724
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:22,480
Speaker 2: just re enacting it. I'm like, oh, I really, I'm

725
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:26,239
Speaker 2: here now. And and what I did know was it

726
00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:28,120
Speaker 2: was supposed to be a setup. There was a really

727
00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:31,799
Speaker 2: nice woman that I ended up dating, but they all

728
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:33,759
Speaker 2: she was single. I was single, and there was a

729
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:35,960
Speaker 2: setup just going there. I didn't know this. So they

730
00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:38,080
Speaker 2: kind of brought me into a world and I met

731
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:40,840
Speaker 2: so many nice people. Everybody was wonderful, main friends with

732
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:43,640
Speaker 2: many of them. But one thing is one of the

733
00:38:43,719 --> 00:38:47,200
Speaker 2: older guys, one of like the men, the dads, was like, hey,

734
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:49,040
Speaker 2: can you start a fire over there, just in that

735
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:51,799
Speaker 2: little campfire in the fire pit. And I was like yeah.

736
00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:54,200
Speaker 2: They were like no, Like just can you go start

737
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:55,840
Speaker 2: a fire because like it's gonna get dark soon and

738
00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:58,919
Speaker 2: we're you know, crawlfish. I'm like sure, so I build

739
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:04,680
Speaker 2: a little campfire. Started with one match, brag, and then

740
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:08,200
Speaker 2: the fire's going. And later around the fire, several men

741
00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:10,719
Speaker 2: were like, where did you learn to Oh? They called

742
00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:14,000
Speaker 2: me yankee half the time. Oh yeah, And they were like,

743
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:15,759
Speaker 2: where did you learn to do that? And I was like,

744
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:17,960
Speaker 2: build a fire? And they were like, yeah, aren't you

745
00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:20,240
Speaker 2: from New York or something? I go, I'm from Maryland,

746
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:22,719
Speaker 2: but uh I do live in New York. And they

747
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:24,960
Speaker 2: were like, but where'd you learn to do that? I'm like,

748
00:39:25,120 --> 00:39:29,040
Speaker 2: we have fire in Maryland. Like you guys didn't invent

749
00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:32,440
Speaker 2: fire or building a fire. Also, you handed me matches

750
00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:34,840
Speaker 2: and like it was not hard. But they were just

751
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:39,120
Speaker 2: looking at me like, how you city mouse? How are

752
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:42,160
Speaker 2: you doing this? I'm like, yeah, I'm a warlock. I

753
00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:45,480
Speaker 2: cast a spell for flames. It was so weird to

754
00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:46,560
Speaker 2: get cornered for fire.

755
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:50,160
Speaker 1: Well, I do honestly think that it is a very

756
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:54,760
Speaker 1: specific skill that I have found a surprising number of people.

757
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:58,239
Speaker 1: I know, when I go somewhere with them, I find

758
00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:00,680
Speaker 1: out that they do not know how to make a

759
00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:03,680
Speaker 1: fire whatsoever. We should teach a class.

760
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:06,560
Speaker 2: Let you and I should make an instructional video that

761
00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:10,360
Speaker 2: constantly is saying, do not burn down your house, or

762
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:11,840
Speaker 2: your woods or your yard.

763
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:14,520
Speaker 1: Oh man, give me one, give one.

764
00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:18,320
Speaker 2: You know what. Since we're on, since I mentioned Pentacola,

765
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:21,680
Speaker 2: I found a story. This one from Courtney Cali. This

766
00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:24,360
Speaker 2: one's the AP wrote this. I found it everywhere. I

767
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:26,759
Speaker 2: bet we get sent it a lot today. Mother and

768
00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:31,520
Speaker 2: daughter oh Man accused of accessing student accounts to rig

769
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:40,279
Speaker 2: homecoming court vote. This is a twenty twenty story. Eh

770
00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:47,280
Speaker 2: byye banana phone's ringing, sorry rejecting it. Pensacola, Florida AP

771
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:53,160
Speaker 2: we love the Associated Press uh an assistant principle no

772
00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:55,720
Speaker 2: less as. The mother and her daughter have been arrested

773
00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:59,600
Speaker 2: after authorities said they were responsible for fraudulently casting hundreds

774
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:02,000
Speaker 2: of votes at the high schools for the high school's

775
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:06,200
Speaker 2: homecoming court. According to the Florida Department of Law Enforcement,

776
00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:09,880
Speaker 2: the investigation found that Carol, the assistant principal at Bellevue

777
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:12,600
Speaker 2: Elementary School, and her daughter, a student Tate High School,

778
00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:17,360
Speaker 2: had access student focus accounts. Focus is like it allows students,

779
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:20,640
Speaker 2: teachers and parents to look at these accounts to view grades,

780
00:41:20,719 --> 00:41:24,759
Speaker 2: medical history. Basically, it's a program for yeah, you get it,

781
00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:29,120
Speaker 2: test scores, attendance, disciplinary actions, personal information, blee blah blah.

782
00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:31,920
Speaker 2: This investigation said that the agents were able to uncover

783
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:35,600
Speaker 2: evidence of unauthorized access to the Focus website linked to

784
00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:38,640
Speaker 2: Carol's cell phone, to computers in her home, to her

785
00:41:38,719 --> 00:41:42,759
Speaker 2: daughter's computer for a total of two hundred and forty

786
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:46,640
Speaker 2: six votes cast for her daughter to win the homecoming court,

787
00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:51,480
Speaker 2: which she did win. I mean, this is so lame,

788
00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:55,080
Speaker 2: it's insane. Witness sane, it's insane. Witness statements said that

789
00:41:55,160 --> 00:41:59,360
Speaker 2: Carol's daughter had actually bragged about accessing the individual student

790
00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:04,440
Speaker 2: private information for several years. I've known Carol's daughter to

791
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:06,720
Speaker 2: log into her mom's account in order to access grades

792
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:08,959
Speaker 2: and test scores since freshman years when we became friends.

793
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:11,520
Speaker 2: At one witness, she looks up for our group of

794
00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:13,960
Speaker 2: friends grades and makes comments about how she can find

795
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:16,399
Speaker 2: our test scores all the time. So they're flaunting this shit.

796
00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:18,680
Speaker 2: They got their come up, They got to come up,

797
00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:23,879
Speaker 2: and that's they got the clap back. So it says

798
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:26,320
Speaker 2: that Carol's Focus accounted access to over three hundred and

799
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:29,600
Speaker 2: seventy two high school records since twenty nineteen three. Hundred

800
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:32,000
Speaker 2: and thirty nine of those were Tate High school students,

801
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:37,279
Speaker 2: and she got arrested, so her bond has said it

802
00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:41,000
Speaker 2: eighty five hundred bucks, and she and her daughter faced

803
00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:45,880
Speaker 2: third degree felony accounts of offenses against using computers, computer systems,

804
00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:50,320
Speaker 2: computer networks, electronic devices in an unlawful with an on

805
00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:55,360
Speaker 2: her hacker charges. Yes, she was messing with personal information,

806
00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:58,920
Speaker 2: so it's a criminal use of personally identifiable information. And

807
00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:01,600
Speaker 2: then they were also face it's a first degree misdemeanor

808
00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:06,319
Speaker 2: for conspiracy to commit these offenses. So they she won.

809
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:09,719
Speaker 2: But guys, I know, Curdel backed me up on this.

810
00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:12,080
Speaker 2: If you're ever around somebody that says high school or

811
00:43:12,080 --> 00:43:14,200
Speaker 2: college are the best years of your life, they move

812
00:43:14,239 --> 00:43:17,399
Speaker 2: away from those people as fast as possible. The next

813
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:19,480
Speaker 2: four years of your life should be the best four

814
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:22,720
Speaker 2: years of your life. People that talk about high school

815
00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:27,360
Speaker 2: or college with glory days, it just it's so frustrating

816
00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:29,920
Speaker 2: to me that it's amped up to be like these

817
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:33,920
Speaker 2: are your best years. No, they're not. Nah, they're not.

818
00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:38,520
Speaker 1: Thirty to thirty four are pretty great. Whoo, thirty or

819
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:40,160
Speaker 1: thirty four are so sweet.

820
00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:42,520
Speaker 2: That's the sweet spot right now. Your thirties are so

821
00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:45,920
Speaker 2: damn fun. It's crazy. Do not Live for high school

822
00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:48,320
Speaker 2: glory Days is a good song, but get over it.

823
00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:52,640
Speaker 1: Oh yeah. It always creeped me out. It's always creeped

824
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:55,880
Speaker 1: me out to think that, like I And honestly, if

825
00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:58,200
Speaker 1: we go back to it, it's probably people. And I

826
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:00,520
Speaker 1: talk to my wife about this in the in the past.

827
00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:03,960
Speaker 1: She's always like, it's just people who did sports. It's

828
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:07,480
Speaker 1: just people who were good at sports. Yeah, and then

829
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:10,560
Speaker 1: just like had the world on a platter for them,

830
00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:13,360
Speaker 1: and then that just felt like the pinnacle. It was

831
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:16,600
Speaker 1: like they were famous for four years. Yep. And I

832
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:19,600
Speaker 1: would say, go out and in your life, be that

833
00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:22,799
Speaker 1: good at something that you're just famous in that way,

834
00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:25,600
Speaker 1: you know, like quote unquote famous, not like famous.

835
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:28,439
Speaker 2: It's not a big deal. Like the homecoming court stuff

836
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:32,839
Speaker 2: is insane. At the end of my movie Ma, one

837
00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:35,400
Speaker 2: of the things I really hated my whole life, and

838
00:44:35,560 --> 00:44:37,680
Speaker 2: it was kind of along the lines of this, and

839
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:39,800
Speaker 2: I kind of wanted to punish the teenagers for it

840
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:42,840
Speaker 2: in the movie. With senior superlatives, I always thought they

841
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:46,520
Speaker 2: were very unfair. It's like, you know, there, I had

842
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:49,319
Speaker 2: four hundred plus kids in my senior class, twenty six

843
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:55,200
Speaker 2: of them, because they did it by the alphabet like awesome, athletic, beautiful, whatever, beautiful.

844
00:44:57,360 --> 00:45:00,920
Speaker 2: I was gonna say bazongas, but that wasn't one, but

845
00:45:01,040 --> 00:45:04,360
Speaker 2: it would be would be like yeah, like definitely desired

846
00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:05,160
Speaker 2: coolest car.

847
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:07,120
Speaker 1: And it's like such a brag.

848
00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:10,680
Speaker 2: So twenty six kids get that stuff, and then everybody

849
00:45:10,719 --> 00:45:12,759
Speaker 2: else is just like, yeah, you're not that special, have

850
00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:18,640
Speaker 2: a great life, So screw this crap. I had this

851
00:45:18,719 --> 00:45:22,360
Speaker 2: funny story. I was not great at math. I tried,

852
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:24,759
Speaker 2: but you know, high school they forced you to take

853
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:28,280
Speaker 2: math every year. So my senior year I took college algebra.

854
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:31,160
Speaker 2: To say I didn't learn a thing. I mean, I

855
00:45:31,239 --> 00:45:34,879
Speaker 2: still don't understand me neither. The teacher was a really

856
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:37,200
Speaker 2: nice man who had taught for a million years. He

857
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:39,440
Speaker 2: was very smart. He could kind of draw a perfect circle.

858
00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:41,320
Speaker 2: He would just start waving his arm in a circle

859
00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:43,960
Speaker 2: with a white erase marker or whiteboard marker and just

860
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:46,400
Speaker 2: draw a perfect It was I don't know why, I

861
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:48,560
Speaker 2: don't know what we were doing. So we had this

862
00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:51,160
Speaker 2: test and we were kind of spread out in this way,

863
00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:56,120
Speaker 2: sort of socially distanced, and at the and I turned

864
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:57,960
Speaker 2: my test in and then the bell rings and the

865
00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:01,239
Speaker 2: teacher's assistant, who was this young college grad student, was like,

866
00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:04,759
Speaker 2: mister Landis, can you stay after class? And I was

867
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:08,640
Speaker 2: like yeah, and then the teacher was like, what's going on?

868
00:46:09,239 --> 00:46:10,640
Speaker 2: And I don't even remember his name? And you know,

869
00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:12,440
Speaker 2: I really am good with names and faces. That's how

870
00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:14,120
Speaker 2: bad I was at this math class. I don't know

871
00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:17,399
Speaker 2: what his name was. And so mister Math, mister Math,

872
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:21,480
Speaker 2: was like, what's going on and she goes, Scotty was

873
00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:25,040
Speaker 2: cheating that entire test, and I go, I really wasn't.

874
00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:29,960
Speaker 2: And he was like, no, he wasn't, and she goes, wait,

875
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:32,239
Speaker 2: no he was. So this is a student, this is

876
00:46:32,280 --> 00:46:35,319
Speaker 2: a TA. So she's like a grad student, probably teach

877
00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:39,800
Speaker 2: for America or something, moving in, aspiring teacher and a

878
00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:42,920
Speaker 2: pretty nice person, I remember, being a nice woman. And

879
00:46:43,040 --> 00:46:45,200
Speaker 2: she's like, he was cheating. I watched him cheat off

880
00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:50,240
Speaker 2: of Melissa's test. And the teacher goes, no, he didn't.

881
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:53,400
Speaker 2: And she started to feel like she was stuck in

882
00:46:53,440 --> 00:46:56,200
Speaker 2: a conspiracy, like she didn't understand what's going on. And

883
00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:58,320
Speaker 2: she goes, no, I saw him, and I go I didn't,

884
00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:01,319
Speaker 2: and the teacher goes he didn't, and she goes, why,

885
00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:03,120
Speaker 2: what do you mean I saw it? He goes, well,

886
00:47:03,120 --> 00:47:05,359
Speaker 2: because Melissa got a ninety three and Scotty didn't get

887
00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:07,800
Speaker 2: one right, so I got a zero. I got a

888
00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:10,640
Speaker 2: total zero, and so there's no way I cheated because

889
00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:12,319
Speaker 2: I didn't even get one answer right.

890
00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:17,680
Speaker 1: And then that's actually aggressively good, like good at being bad?

891
00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:19,800
Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? Like to not accidentally

892
00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:21,560
Speaker 1: get one right is amazing.

893
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I probably did look at Melissa's paper. I

894
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:27,520
Speaker 2: probably was like, does anybody know what we're supposed to

895
00:47:27,520 --> 00:47:29,960
Speaker 2: be doing right now? But it was so funny that

896
00:47:30,120 --> 00:47:31,960
Speaker 2: he he was like a quieter guy. He wasn't an

897
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:33,719
Speaker 2: aggressive man, but he was like, no, he did not

898
00:47:33,880 --> 00:47:36,040
Speaker 2: cheat because he did not get one part of one

899
00:47:36,160 --> 00:47:38,680
Speaker 2: question right. And then, bless his heart, he knew I

900
00:47:38,680 --> 00:47:41,120
Speaker 2: was going to college and that you know, an E

901
00:47:41,560 --> 00:47:43,359
Speaker 2: or whatever and F would have been bad. He goes,

902
00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:46,719
Speaker 2: come back after school and if you get one right,

903
00:47:47,120 --> 00:47:50,040
Speaker 2: I'll give you a D. And so I went to

904
00:47:50,160 --> 00:47:53,000
Speaker 2: my friends and I was like, uh, can you just

905
00:47:53,080 --> 00:47:55,680
Speaker 2: write this out and then I'm gonna memorize it. And

906
00:47:55,800 --> 00:47:57,759
Speaker 2: then I got one right. So I did cheat and

907
00:47:57,840 --> 00:48:01,000
Speaker 2: I got a d and but it was so funny.

908
00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:03,480
Speaker 2: It was like guilty by just like nah, dude, he

909
00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:08,279
Speaker 2: sucks so hard, there's no way. Oh boy.

910
00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:13,319
Speaker 1: I was once accused of plagiarism in college. Really yeah,

911
00:48:13,640 --> 00:48:17,840
Speaker 1: I don't. Yeah, it was not true. I was accused

912
00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:21,360
Speaker 1: and it was not true. It was really crazy. It

913
00:48:21,640 --> 00:48:28,280
Speaker 1: was a new professor and she's teaching Kant and Kant

914
00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:33,279
Speaker 1: is is pretty complex as far as the continental philosophers go,

915
00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:40,360
Speaker 1: I think, and yeah, and I and I remember it

916
00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:43,000
Speaker 1: was like I was I was talking about Kant and Hegel,

917
00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:46,080
Speaker 1: but I was just explaining like one very very very

918
00:48:46,760 --> 00:48:51,800
Speaker 1: the beginning concept, yeah, like the Book of Spirit or

919
00:48:51,800 --> 00:48:55,400
Speaker 1: whatever the fuck it is geist and uh. And I

920
00:48:55,480 --> 00:48:57,680
Speaker 1: thought I was just like just dumbing it, like just

921
00:48:57,800 --> 00:49:00,320
Speaker 1: like just dumbing it down to writing it way that

922
00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:03,520
Speaker 1: I would be able to understand Layman. Yeah, Layman's terms,

923
00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:06,800
Speaker 1: just like the basic first chapter of the book with you.

924
00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:08,640
Speaker 1: And and she came in. She was just like you

925
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:11,160
Speaker 1: you plagiary like she called me in and it was

926
00:49:11,239 --> 00:49:13,880
Speaker 1: like so crazy. I've never just like you plagiarized. And

927
00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:17,120
Speaker 1: I was just like no, I didn't. Yeah, She's like hmm.

928
00:49:17,560 --> 00:49:19,640
Speaker 1: And she had just gotten there so she was like,

929
00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:22,200
Speaker 1: what's going on with you? She's like, you need to

930
00:49:22,719 --> 00:49:24,640
Speaker 1: put your notes in. I need to see all your

931
00:49:24,719 --> 00:49:27,040
Speaker 1: notes from CLIs and all the notes that you took

932
00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:30,040
Speaker 1: while writing this. And then I brought all my notes

933
00:49:30,080 --> 00:49:31,880
Speaker 1: in and she took like a month and I was like,

934
00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:35,080
Speaker 1: on an academic, like, she has to file it with

935
00:49:35,239 --> 00:49:39,160
Speaker 1: the university that there's an accusation of plagiarism. And I

936
00:49:39,320 --> 00:49:41,800
Speaker 1: was like, notified by the university. This has been like

937
00:49:42,239 --> 00:49:44,680
Speaker 1: like I've been accused of this. And then she like

938
00:49:44,840 --> 00:49:46,920
Speaker 1: put all the notes in and then and then she

939
00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:48,400
Speaker 1: was just like I'm sorry I was wrong.

940
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:53,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, that's a weird one. I wish what is

941
00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:56,839
Speaker 2: Kant was philosopher.

942
00:49:57,600 --> 00:50:00,359
Speaker 1: He's a philosopher and I love it, like the yeah,

943
00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:02,960
Speaker 1: the whole idea is that, you know, like he has

944
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:07,160
Speaker 1: an idea that like humanity is continually getting better over

945
00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:12,520
Speaker 1: time over John's and be like full of spirit or something.

946
00:50:12,840 --> 00:50:16,919
Speaker 1: I literally don't even remember, yeah it wor anymore, but yeah,

947
00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:21,040
Speaker 1: it felt so vindicated, especially since it was like kind

948
00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:21,680
Speaker 1: of serious.

949
00:50:22,640 --> 00:50:26,280
Speaker 2: Yes, that's a that's a horrible feeling when you're guilty

950
00:50:26,320 --> 00:50:28,000
Speaker 2: and the best feeling when you're not, because and I

951
00:50:28,160 --> 00:50:30,080
Speaker 2: know you, and I know that you're like if you're

952
00:50:30,239 --> 00:50:31,960
Speaker 2: if somebody tries to wrong you. One time, you and

953
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:34,279
Speaker 2: I got this was so long ago, this is like

954
00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:36,600
Speaker 2: thirteen years ago. We got in a cab and you're like,

955
00:50:36,680 --> 00:50:38,759
Speaker 2: we're going to Brooklyn and you must have gotten a

956
00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:41,960
Speaker 2: job or something, because we never took taxis like ever.

957
00:50:42,760 --> 00:50:45,120
Speaker 2: And the guy's like, I'm not going to Brooklyn and

958
00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:47,719
Speaker 2: I didn't. I was like okay, yeah. And he's like

959
00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:50,520
Speaker 2: he's like, I'm not going to Brooklyn, man. And you're like, sir,

960
00:50:50,719 --> 00:50:53,000
Speaker 2: you have to you wherever we go. When we get

961
00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:54,920
Speaker 2: in a cab, it is against the law for you

962
00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:56,840
Speaker 2: not to take us to one of the five boroughs.

963
00:50:57,280 --> 00:50:59,640
Speaker 2: It is against the law. And this older guy goes,

964
00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:02,800
Speaker 2: I got diarrhea. I don't know where the bathrooms in

965
00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:05,120
Speaker 2: Brooklyn are. And we go, oh, okay, sorry, and we

966
00:51:05,280 --> 00:51:08,560
Speaker 2: just we just got right out. We just hopped right out.

967
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:12,080
Speaker 2: I was like, what a defense the old diarrhea depress perfect.

968
00:51:12,200 --> 00:51:16,160
Speaker 1: It just just change the definition of terms. Oh god.

969
00:51:17,120 --> 00:51:19,960
Speaker 2: And then also we became our empathy and compassion took

970
00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:21,680
Speaker 2: over where we're like, you know what, some laws are

971
00:51:21,680 --> 00:51:24,239
Speaker 2: meant to be bent We're so sorry, good luck, enjoy

972
00:51:24,239 --> 00:51:26,080
Speaker 2: your may loox hit us up.

973
00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:28,400
Speaker 1: Wrap it up tight, Kurt, I will wrap it up

974
00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:32,320
Speaker 1: tight for you with just this one. Okay. Oh sent in.

975
00:51:32,600 --> 00:51:34,360
Speaker 1: A lot of people sent this one in, but this

976
00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:41,120
Speaker 1: was from I first saw it at Freaking Christina on Twitter. Yeah, Christina,

977
00:51:41,960 --> 00:51:46,800
Speaker 1: this is from Live Science by Nicoletta Lanis. Thank you.

978
00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:51,759
Speaker 1: Let great love, her great love, her love, Nicoletta who

979
00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:55,759
Speaker 1: Arctic Wallrice takes a nap on an iceberg, wakes up

980
00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:56,719
Speaker 1: in Ireland.

981
00:51:58,080 --> 00:51:59,759
Speaker 2: Wait, really, that's so good.

982
00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:05,200
Speaker 1: It's so good. This is yeah. So basically a walrus

983
00:52:05,280 --> 00:52:09,080
Speaker 1: spotted on an Irish beach yesterday March fourteenth, may have

984
00:52:09,200 --> 00:52:12,160
Speaker 1: floated there from the Arctic Circle after falling asleep on

985
00:52:12,320 --> 00:52:15,120
Speaker 1: an iceberg. A five year old girl walking with her

986
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:22,280
Speaker 1: father lovery newcomer. Her name is Murian. I think Mrian

987
00:52:22,520 --> 00:52:25,160
Speaker 1: got a lot of letters. They were on their on

988
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:30,440
Speaker 1: Valentia Island in County Kerry and then they see this

989
00:52:30,520 --> 00:52:33,800
Speaker 1: big long thing. There hasn't been one since like the

990
00:52:34,040 --> 00:52:37,760
Speaker 1: eighteen ninety seven And now that's so cool couple.

991
00:52:38,160 --> 00:52:38,560
Speaker 2: I love that.

992
00:52:39,120 --> 00:52:42,520
Speaker 1: But the best part about it is that, like the

993
00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:44,680
Speaker 1: title of this is Arctic wallrus takes a nap on

994
00:52:44,719 --> 00:52:47,880
Speaker 1: an iceberg, wakes up in Ireland. Really, what the article

995
00:52:48,120 --> 00:52:51,920
Speaker 1: is about is that there's a walrus in Ireland, and

996
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:56,239
Speaker 1: then it's just at the end there's just some random scientist.

997
00:52:56,880 --> 00:52:58,760
Speaker 2: Okay, who ran scientist?

998
00:52:58,960 --> 00:53:02,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd say what happened is he fell asleep on

999
00:53:02,800 --> 00:53:04,680
Speaker 1: an iceberg and drifted off and then he was gone

1000
00:53:04,719 --> 00:53:06,680
Speaker 1: too far out in the midd Atlantic or somewhere like that,

1001
00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:11,040
Speaker 1: down off Greenland. Possibly he's just guessing. Yeah, he loves cartoons.

1002
00:53:11,480 --> 00:53:12,720
Speaker 2: That's a cartoon theory.

1003
00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:16,759
Speaker 1: It's not like the way the title reads, and all

1004
00:53:16,840 --> 00:53:20,000
Speaker 1: of the titles read this way. It sounds like he

1005
00:53:20,600 --> 00:53:26,560
Speaker 1: floated into a harbor on an iceberg, confused and wild eyed. Yeah,

1006
00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:29,360
Speaker 1: it's just a walrus is an island, guys. But this

1007
00:53:29,440 --> 00:53:32,360
Speaker 1: is the best part. The father gets the last the

1008
00:53:32,480 --> 00:53:36,799
Speaker 1: last word. I love a good Irish dab Hula Hans said.

1009
00:53:36,840 --> 00:53:39,440
Speaker 1: The sleepy wallrus still gave him and his daughter quote

1010
00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:42,160
Speaker 1: a bit of a show, and they spotted it. According

1011
00:53:42,239 --> 00:53:45,400
Speaker 1: to the Irish Examiner quote it's brilliant. He was sitting

1012
00:53:45,440 --> 00:53:48,320
Speaker 1: on the rock now kind of posing. At one stage

1013
00:53:48,400 --> 00:53:50,400
Speaker 1: there he threw up a fin and it looked like

1014
00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:58,040
Speaker 1: he was giving us all the birdie the Irish. What

1015
00:53:58,160 --> 00:53:59,120
Speaker 1: do we do about that?

1016
00:53:59,320 --> 00:54:03,000
Speaker 2: I mean, if it was the cartoon version, if it

1017
00:54:03,080 --> 00:54:05,160
Speaker 2: was the Pixar movie that a walrus fell asleep on

1018
00:54:05,200 --> 00:54:07,480
Speaker 2: a nice float and woke up in Ireland. Great start

1019
00:54:07,520 --> 00:54:09,800
Speaker 2: to a Pixar movie, by the way, great start. I

1020
00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:12,359
Speaker 2: love Clover the Walrus. I can see it happening. Now

1021
00:54:14,239 --> 00:54:18,440
Speaker 2: do we just leave him alone? Do we bring some

1022
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:21,960
Speaker 2: more walruses to join him? Do we retro? Is that

1023
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:23,400
Speaker 2: bad for the local environment?

1024
00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:26,279
Speaker 1: Like having the walrus there? Yeah? They think that he

1025
00:54:26,440 --> 00:54:28,759
Speaker 1: just needs to eat enough shellfish and then he'll make

1026
00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:34,160
Speaker 1: it back home. But that's crazy. I mean, that sounds crazy.

1027
00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:36,160
Speaker 1: But I guess they just disappear at some point. They

1028
00:54:36,280 --> 00:54:39,719
Speaker 1: they've shown up in since the eighties apparently. Okay, yeah,

1029
00:54:39,840 --> 00:54:41,399
Speaker 1: that's that's pretty fun.

1030
00:54:41,760 --> 00:54:42,279
Speaker 2: I got.

1031
00:54:42,320 --> 00:54:44,120
Speaker 1: I wish we were over there. I wish we were traveling.

1032
00:54:44,560 --> 00:54:46,120
Speaker 2: That is like the exact thing if we were in

1033
00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:49,000
Speaker 2: a bar, If we were in Dublin drinking and that

1034
00:54:49,160 --> 00:54:51,040
Speaker 2: story got sent to us, we would get in a

1035
00:54:51,160 --> 00:54:54,480
Speaker 2: car or take over find fairy and we would go

1036
00:54:54,880 --> 00:54:57,840
Speaker 2: take a photo a Christmas family photo with the Banana

1037
00:54:57,880 --> 00:55:00,359
Speaker 2: Boys with a giant Irish wallers.

1038
00:55:00,440 --> 00:55:02,200
Speaker 1: Who's giving everyone the middle finger?

1039
00:55:02,480 --> 00:55:05,759
Speaker 2: Who flips us off? Amen? What a Saint Patrick's Day?

1040
00:55:06,080 --> 00:55:08,480
Speaker 1: We did it, Scott, Yeah, it's right. That is the

1041
00:55:08,560 --> 00:55:10,920
Speaker 1: way to end the Saint Patti's Day episode with the

1042
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:15,520
Speaker 1: story from Ireland, even though Ireland cares nothing for our

1043
00:55:16,080 --> 00:55:17,960
Speaker 1: weird Saint Patti's Day celebration.

1044
00:55:18,480 --> 00:55:22,040
Speaker 2: Nope, could care less. But we'll see us soon Ireland.

1045
00:55:22,280 --> 00:55:24,480
Speaker 2: Maybe we'll have May Higgins on as a guest sometime.

1046
00:55:24,560 --> 00:55:26,080
Speaker 2: That might be a good idea.

1047
00:55:26,280 --> 00:55:26,840
Speaker 1: She rocks.

1048
00:55:26,920 --> 00:55:33,439
Speaker 2: We love her so much. And also, yeah, keep saying

1049
00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:35,960
Speaker 2: in those stories. Thanks for everything, Thanks for listening, stay

1050
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:38,760
Speaker 2: positive out there. Thank you to our producer Katie Levine.

1051
00:55:38,920 --> 00:55:50,279
Speaker 2: Thank you Scottie, Thank you Kurty B Bananas. This has

1052
00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:52,600
Speaker 2: been an exactly right production.

1053
00:55:52,400 --> 00:55:55,840
Speaker 1: Produced and engineered by Katie Levine, theme music by Kahan,

1054
00:55:56,120 --> 00:55:58,400
Speaker 1: and all of our artwork is done by Travis Millard.

1055
00:55:58,680 --> 00:56:01,320
Speaker 2: You can follow us on Instagram at The Bananas Podcast,

1056
00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:03,520
Speaker 2: where we post stories every day and things that we

1057
00:56:03,600 --> 00:56:05,000
Speaker 2: don't cover on the podcast.

1058
00:56:05,440 --> 00:56:08,640
Speaker 1: Listen, subscribe, and please leave us a review on Apple podcast,

1059
00:56:08,719 --> 00:56:11,160
Speaker 1: Stitcher or wherever you get your podcast.

1060
00:56:10,960 --> 00:56:14,040
Speaker 2: And if you're interested in advertising on bananas, Please email

1061
00:56:14,120 --> 00:56:17,000
Speaker 2: us at the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com. That's

1062
00:56:17,160 --> 00:56:19,879
Speaker 2: the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com.